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smooth-goat · 2 years

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1, 3, 4, 7, 8, 9, 10 (is it hats? 👀), 11, 14, 15, 16, 19, 20, 21, 26, 30 sorry for so many lol

aafjdskal thank u for so many !! its totally fine and encouraged in fact

Art programs you have but don't use

I still have the downloads for a full adobe suite--I needed them for college. But I've since let my subscriptions lapse when I dropped out.

3. What ideas come from when you were little?

I've had this one novel idea bouncing around in my head since I was eleven, where in the 1300s this massive trade city in modern-day Pakistan was set under strict quarantine as the Black Plague came over from the Gobi Desert westward. Years pass, better trading routes are found, and the city is lost--except the survivors of the plague's descendants still inhabit it as a small village, unknown to the outside world. Now, around 1909, a disgraced Russian archaeologist and his niece go down to this lost city in hopes of saving his job, only to find there's still people there. The story is about the little family hosting them and the line between academic study and colonialism. It's always been on a back burner because any real development would require paid consultants, but I do privately write little things for it.

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

Hmmmm I think young children. I don't have a lot of experience drawing them so it's a struggle for me to communicate their age with proper proportions.

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

Digital, really. I do work in it sometimes but really only when making animatics/animation, since I don't have a cost-effective setup to do so otherwise.

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in?

A few years ago, I spent a great deal of time on an animatic for TAZ Balance set to "Ball Cap" by Mother Mother. I had almost the whole thing in rough boards but lost steam refining them.

9. What are your file name conventions?

Just a brief description, mostly. Not really ever a proper ~artsy~ title. Examples would include "Sea Lion.jpeg" or "sisu v_01.png" the "v_01" stands for "version 1". For animatics I put keep everything in the auto-generated folders and just rely on the little image preview to keep things straight. My writing is filed under the actual published title, or a wip title. An example of that would be "moominpappa gets wrecked.docx" which, if properly titled, would surely be turned into something more moody and pretentious.

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

Yes it is hats!! For technical or research aspects I love all sorts of different clothing. When I'm working out clothing patterns I love figuring out complex construction details like 1890s cycling skirts or the flap neckline in the Herjolfsnes find undershirt. But strictly drawying: it's hats. The swoopy lines are so much fun and they add so much character and mood.

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what?

I am a creature of ADHD; I have to have something on when I'm drawing. Sometimes it's a youtube video that I'm just listening to. I also have Spotify playlists I've made for different characters or relationships or AUs I have. I've spent most of my time on the Hunter animatic listening to Innuendo Studios' series "The Alt-Right Playbook".

14. Any favorite motifs?

No shocker here: disability. In my more private drawings I focus a lot on chronic pain and interactions with the inaccessible physical world. I'm also a sucker for Victorian floriography, as anyone who's browsed my ao3 works' titles could notice. Also in unpublished works (visual and written) I like working in the intersection of disability and sex. About how the body moves in sexual acts, how to accommodate for disability, the extreme vulnerability sex places on a disabled person, and the interaction of pain and pleasure that happens when sex is a physically painful act.

15. *Where* do you draw?

For digital art I have this whole setup at my desk, where the drawer is pulled out for my tablet and my laptop on the desk proper--all for Good Grade In Occupational Therapy purposes. (really because I'm 5'2 and the height of the chair I'd need to comfortably draw on the desk doesn't let my feet touch the floor). Sketching I do on the couch or in bed. I bring my sketchbook around a lot and will do it on the go. Sometimes when I'm going on drives, I pull over with a good vista and draw there sitting on the hood.

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

colored pencil!! 1000%. i do Not like working with colored pencils. The grip required for them is too small without buying a separate grip, which I have to take off and on every time I switch colors, which is Often. and they work sooo slowlyyyy. i like media like watercolor, oil, and markers--stuff that lays down lots of color quickly and can be refined later. i like a certain messiness or rawness. paint impasto, visible canvas grain, fingerprints, water splotches, etc

19. Do you eat/drink when drawing? If so, what?

Not always sketching because I'll do that in lots of places. Digitally yes always. I know I shouldn't because of the spill risk but I am a simple man and I always need to have a little drink. Usually soda or hibiscus La Croix.

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

I really like drawing hands! I know they're the classic artists' bane but sux to be you because I have lots of fun with them. (For the longest time I thought I was messing them up because I'd use my own hands as reference and they'd come out looking Wrong. Years later I've realized the Wrongness I was seeing was a combination of my hypermobility and large arthritis knuckles.)

21. Art styles nothing like your own but like anyways

oh, lots! the hyper-stylized, cartoony stuff is so interesting to me. the functions of digital art are largely a mystery to me so it's just fascinating how well people use the medium. Especially the color-block lineless art that reminds me of papercut art. And I've always enjoyed how the Professor Layton games approached character design--a great deal of stylization and caricature which is so different from my own drawings of people. i also really enjoy 17th century english woodblock prints. when i paint its usually kind of impressionistic with lots of blurry lines, so the stark black and white and geometric shapes they have is so different and cool to me.

26. What's a piece that got wildly different interpretation from what you intended?

wrt art I can't really think of any! most of the finished pieces I've done were for classes and therefore weren't highly-creative projects open to a great degree of interpretation.

wrt writing For Sure that time i got accused of being a pro-lifer when I wrote "Ginger Tea and Parsley Oil" lmao. i have no idea how any competent reading of the text would come to that conclusion

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated?

wrt my visual art, most of it isn't published online but rather shared in art classes or with friends. In those cases, I think the response was pretty appropriate relative to time spent and my own opinions of it. From what's been posted online, definitely my icon! I probably spent 50 hours on that drawing cause it's actually two complete drawings laid on top of each other, with the top one torn to reveal the sepia one beneath. But ain't that just the way--whatever you spend the most time on will never get as much acclaim as what you only spend a few minutes sketching. wrt my writing, most underrated is probably "Black Cohosh". It's the piece with the second-lowest hit count but also one of my favorites. I get why it's low--it's dark and moody in a fandom that enjoys fluff and focuses a lot on canon/oc interaction. But I really love it fjdskla

#long post #birdsong #ask meme #asked and answered

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princesssarisa · 3 years

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Some more “Little Women” remarks: the problem of Beth

I honestly think most commentary I’ve read about Beth’s character is bad, both academic and from casual readers.

I understand why. She’s a difficult character. Modern readers who love Little Women and want to celebrate it as a proto-feminist work need to contend with the presence of this thoroughly domestic, shy, sweetly self-effacing character, seemingly the opposite of everything a feminist heroine should be. Meanwhile, other readers who despise Little Women and consider it anti-feminist cite Beth as the embodiment of its supposedly outdated morals. Then there’s the fact that she’s based on Louisa May Alcott’s actual sister, Lizzie Alcott, and does show hints of the real young woman’s complexity, and yet she’s much more idealized than the other sisters, which often makes readers view her as more of a symbol (of what they disagree, but definitely a symbol) than a real person.

But even though the various bad takes on her character are understandable, they’re still obnoxious, and in my humble opinion, not founded in the text.

Here are my views on some of the critics’ opinions I least agree with.

“She’s nothing but a bland, boring model of feminine virtue.”

Of course it’s fair to find her bland and boring. Everyone is entitled to feel how they feel about any character. But she’s not just a cardboard cutout of 19th century feminine virtue. So many people seem to dismiss her shyness as just the maidenly modesty that conduct books used to encourage. But it seems blatantly obvious to me that it’s more than just that. Beth’s crippling shyness is actively portrayed as her “burden,” just like Jo’s temper or Meg and Amy’s vanity and materialism. She struggles with it. Her parents have homeschooled her because her anxiety made the classroom unbearable for her – no conduct book has ever encouraged that! In Part 1, she has a character arc of overcoming enough of her shyness to make new friends like Mr. Laurence and Frank Vaughn. Then, in Part 2, she has the arc of struggling to accept her impending death: she doesn’t face it with pure serenity, but goes through a long journey of both physical and emotional pain before she finds peace in the end. Her character arcs might be quieter and subtler than her sisters’, but she’s not the static figure she’s often misremembered as being.

‘She needs to die because her life has no meaning outside of her family and the domestic sphere.”

In all fairness, Beth believes this herself: she says she was “never meant” to live long because she’s just “stupid little Beth,” with no plans for the future and of no use to anyone outside the home. But for readers to agree with that assessment has massive unfortunate implications! The world is full of both women and men who – whether because of physical or mental illness, disability, autism, Down Syndrome, or some other reason – can’t attend regular school, don’t make friends easily, are always “young for their age,” don’t get married or have romantic relationships, aren’t able to hold a regular job, never live apart from their families, and lead quiet, introverted, home-based lives. Should we look at those real people and think they all need to die? I don’t think so! Besides, it seems to me that the book actively refutes Beth’s self-deprecation. During both of her illnesses, it’s made clear how many people love her and how many people’s lives her quiet kindness has touched – not just her family and few close friends, but the neighbors, the Hummels (of course), the local tradespeople she interacts with, and the children she sews gifts for who write her letters of gratitude. Then there’s the last passage written from her viewpoint before her death, where she finds Jo’s poem that describes what a positive influence her memory will always be, and realizes that her short, quiet life hasn’t been the waste she thought it was. How anyone can read that passage and still come away viewing her life as meaningless is beyond me.

“She needs to die because she symbolizes a weak, outdated model of femininity.”

SparkNotes takes this interpretation of Beth and it annoys me to think of how many young readers that study guide has probably taught to view her this way. No matter how feisty and unconventional Louisa May Alcott was, and no mater how much she personally rebelled against passive, domestic femininity, would she really have portrayed her beloved sister Lizzie as “needing to die” because she was “too weak to survive in the modern world”? Would she really have turned Lizzie’s tragic death into a symbol of a toxic old archetype’s welcome death? But even if Beth were a purely fictional character and not based on the author’s sister, within the text she’s much too beloved and too positive an influence on everyone around her for this interpretation to feel right. This seems less like a valid reading of her character and more like wishful thinking on the part of some feminist scholars.

“She's a symbol of pure goodness who needs to die because she’s Too Good For This Sinful Earth™.”

Enough with the reasons why Beth “needs to die”! At least this one isn’t insulting. But I don’t think it’s really supported by the text either. If she were a symbol of goodness too pure for this world, then she wouldn’t forget to feed her pet bird for a week and lose him to starvation. She wouldn’t get snappish when she’s bored, even if she does only vent her frustration on her doll. She wouldn’t struggle with social anxiety, or dislike washing dishes, or be explicitly described as “not an angel” by the narrator because she can’t help but long for a better piano than the one she has. Now of course those flaws (except for accidentally letting her bird die) are minute compared to her sisters’. It’s fair to say that only “lip service” is paid to Beth’s humanity in an otherwise angelic portrayal. But it seems clear that Alcott did try to make her more human than other saintly, doomed young girls from the literature of her day: she’s certainly much more real than little Eva from Uncle Tom’s Cabin, for example.

“She’s destroyed by the oppressive model of femininity she adheres to.”

This argument holds that because Beth’s selfless care for others causes her illness, her story’s purpose is to condemn the expectation that women toil endlessly to serve others. But if Alcott meant to convey that message, I’d think she would have had Beth get sick by doing some unnecessary selfless deed. Helping a desperately poor, single immigrant mother take care of her sick children isn’t unnecessary. That’s not the kind of selflessness to file under “things feminists should rebel against.”

“She’s a symbol of ideal 19th century femininity, whom all three of her sisters – and implicitly all young female readers – are portrayed as needing to learn to be like.”

Whether people take this view positively (e.g. 19th and early 20th century parents who held up Beth as the model of sweet docility they wanted from their daughters) or negatively (e.g. feminists who can’t forgive Alcott for “remaking Jo in Beth’s image” by the end), I honestly think they’re misreading the book. I’ve already outlined the ways in which Beth struggles and grows just like her sisters do. If any character is portrayed as the ideal woman whom our young heroines all need to learn to be like, it’s not Beth, it’s Marmee. She combines aspects of all her daughters’ best selves (Meg and Beth’s nurturing, Jo’s strong will and Amy’s dignity) and she’s their chief source of wise advice and moral support. Yet none of her daughters become exactly like her either. They all maintain their distinct personalties, even as they grow. Admittedly, Beth’s sisters do sometimes put her on a pedestal as the person they should emulate – i.e. Amy during Beth’s first illness and Jo in the months directly after her death. But in both of those cases, their grief-inspired efforts are short-lived and they eventually go back to their natural boldness and ambitions. They just combine them with more of Beth’s kindness and unselfishness than before.

“She wills her own death.”

Of all these interpretations, this one is possibly the most blatantly contradicted by the text. Just because Beth’s fatal illness is vague and undefined beyond “she never recovered her strength after her scarlet fever” doesn’t mean it's caused by a lack of “will to live”; just because she interprets her lack of future plans or desire to leave home to mean that she’s “not meant to live long” doesn’t mean she’s so afraid to grow up that she wants to die. It’s made very clear that Beth wants to get well. Even though she tries to hide her deep depression from her family and face death willingly, she’s still distraught to have her happy life cut short.

I’ll admit that I’m probably biased, because as as a person on the autism spectrum who’s also struggled with social anxiety and led an introverted, home-based life, I personally relate to Beth. If I didn’t find her relatable, these interpretations would probably annoy me less. But I still think they’re based on a shallow overview of Beth’s character, combined with disdain for girls who don’t fit either the tomboyish “Jo” model or the sparkling “Amy” model of lively, outgoing young womanhood, rather than a close reading of the book.

#little women #beth march #meta #literary criticism

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catsnuggler · 3 years

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What didn't help my whole subconsciously-missionary-minded, silent-echoes-of-Mormonism socialism illusion, which made me think it would be selfish and wrong to demand my own liberation, was the misapplication of standpoint epistemology - put simply, when "identity politics" goes bad.

Putting the rest under a cut, because this is a long post.

While it's crude and ultimately incorrect to only say, for example, "Listen to Black voices", without emphasizing the critical thinking skills and empathy necessary to listen to Cornel West, and dismiss Candace Owens for the right-wing corporate hack that she is, what is for certain is that someone like me, a 100% white American settler of Mormon pioneer stock (on one side of my family, anyway), and with no formal education on the subject matter, doesn't have authority to speak on the experience of Black people in America. I have no argument against that, because it's true.

Continuing further, just because, in spite of the fact neither racism nor colonialism oppresses me, capitalism still does, this doesn't mean I have as much authority to speak on it as a Black member of the working class does, as anti-Black racism and capitalism compound on and depend on each other, making the lives of Black working class people more difficult than the lives of white working class people. Doesn't mean I can't speak on capitalism, just means I'm not the leading voice.

That being said - I'm going to talk as if I'm still a believing Mormon, let alone Christian, in this and the next paragraph, to better explain the subconscious workings of my mind, due to their brainwashing - the difference in our positions can be wrongly perceived, especially by someone raised in the illusory colonial missionary mindset, similar to the position of those with "the gospel" and those "of the world", where those with "the truth" have more, but are, like all, oppressed by "sin", yet at least believe themselves to have the knowledge and wherewithal to resist, while those "worldly" people aren't blessed with the wealth of God's Word, nor the solidarity of the church, and are thus further deprived of the perfection God desires for his children than those of His Flock already are, and must be ministered to, brought into the Fold, and Saved from On High.

Yet there must ever be a humility to such actions, there must ever be self-denial, for all are imperfect, even those in the church, as, just as Christ shed His blood, and allowed His flesh to be pierced, even to His death, in limitless sacrifice for the sins of all of the Children of Men, that they may be redeemed, so have countless socialist, communist, and anarchist revolutionaries died for the cause, and yet all who live, who do not seclude themselves from the world and its markets, facilitate the continued exploitation and robbery of each other by the capitalist class. All are imperfect, and all would deserve bondage and bloodshed, were it not for the bleeding hearts of the martyrs.

So, you see, even someone who consciously attempts to reject Christianity can still fall victim to its logic, even after abandoning the official doctrine of it, if proper safeguards against the general thought processes of it are not taken. Returning to the original point I've tried to raise, I've fallen for a long time to a Christian-esque stance of personal martyrdom for the sake of "saving others" to the point I believed pursuing my own liberation would be selfish.

I'm mentally ill and neurodivergent to the point that getting myself to even get into the habit of seeking jobs is difficult, much more so landing myself an interview; and getting an offer of employment? Only happened once, at the end of my first interview. As you predicted, the job sucked, they were desperate to hire me because it sucks, and it wasn't 3 months before I quit. I quit in late September of 2018. It's been almost 3 years of me not having a job.

I got my driver's license in mid 2019, but got into a minor parking accident that only broke a headlight on the car I drove, and didn't damage the other car, in September of that year. It was over a year before I drove again, because of the depth of my depression and anxiety over one accident, which cost about $150. Since January of this year, I've driven somewhat regularly, and have some measure of confidence, but am still anxious every time I'm behind the wheel. I could drive to and from a job, if needed, but it would be a while before that would be comfortable.

I still live with my dad, at the age of 23, and barely have any friends where I live anymore; those local friends I still have, I haven't seen face-to-face for a long time. My dad... my dad could die any day, and I would be royally fucked. Something happened earlier this month, and he wasn't healthy before, but this was really serious. He amazingly got away with few symptoms, and can make a full recovery with the right effort, except... it could still happen again, it would just be less likely. If it does, he could die. Again, I would be royally fucked. I don't know how much his treatment cost, but I know it must be a pretty penny. There's only so long I can continue like this.

Due to my dependence and general impotent state, I can't do a goddamn thing for what I believe in right now. I have to fight self-hatred with the argument that if I die, I'll have died useless and unhelpful, when I could potentially have kept living til I got my act together and finally done something helpful before passing.

I have a college degree. Not a "real" degree, in the sense of it mattering, but I have an Associate degree, DTA. No major; I never could figure out what I wanted to do. It would have been a close call between anything in political science, which would have led toward a government job, which would be unacceptable as an anarchist, or perhaps a professorial job, teaching would-be politicians and bureaucrats, hardly educating anyone of revolutionary intent; or something in chemistry, perhaps biochemistry, leading to some kind of colonial agrichem shit, or making expensive medicines nobody would be able to afford for private entities' profits, possibly having research appropriated by Uncle Sam for weapons purposes - I don't know, but none of that was appealing. I graduated community college with Honors, as a member of the Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society. I could have had promise as some or other kind of technocrat or bureaucrat - but I wouldn't be able to live with myself. It seems the less one is exploited, the more they exploit others. I don't know what job I can take that would exploit me enough that I wouldn't hurt others so much, while leaving me alone enough that I wouldn't kill myself, which... which has been a temptation, at times. Not too strong, but it is fucking there. I have promise; at short-term memorization and obedience, at least, like a mongrel dog who can read; but no conviction, no confidence, and a surplus of fear.

There are more woes I can recollect, I can continue this pity party in a book, but enough of that. Suffice it to say, all this time, I should have wanted my own liberation. Colonized people (in an American context, Turtle Island Indigenous and Black) have it worse, LGBT* people have it worse, women have it worse, physically disabled people have it worse, people with greater mental disabilities than my own have it worse, and I can't lead any of their struggles. But I do have the right to demand my own liberation, and I shouldn't convince myself otherwise.

*I don't oppose the use of the other word, except people of my demographic have abused that word so goddamn much, I don't want to type it, myself, let alone say it. It's always tainted when it comes from those who aren't of that community. Please don't think I'm either a radfem or a libfem just because I didn't use that word. I support people identifying with that label in using it.

This post became increasingly personal toward the end. However, I hope my flawed perspective, perhaps unique (read: unrelatable) in some aspects, perhaps explaining, at least in part, some of the fucked-up mental hurdles of white socialist "allies" that we need to get our asses over yesterday, might help - whatever I might have illuminated, and whatever I surely missed. I can understand why someone might want to share and add, share and criticize, or leave this alone with a like, nothing at all, or an unfollow.

Not that I can prevent this from being shared in any way, except by not posting in the first place, but I'm okay with it being shared by other socialists, for whatever it's worth... although I understand the more traction it gets, the more likely I'll get anon hate about being full of myself (deserved, to an extent at least), for being some dumb socialist cuck (not exactly wrong, but rude, and likely from a Nazi, so fuck you), or perhaps from non-Mormon Christians accusing me, someone they'd call a Mormon (which is arguably almost a new ethnicity (not race though) as much as it is a religion) of daring to throw the Christian god and Christianity, in general, under the bus, accusing me of being in league with the devil. So be it.

If you're not a reactionary, nor a liberal, nor somewhere in-between, and you want to share this for some reason or another, you may do so.

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whump-town · 4 years

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Shattered Hearts, Fractured Lungs

(Chapter Two; Warnings for: school shooting, violence, language, and heart failure; you can find the first chapter here)

Emily Prentiss just wants to do her job but a messy case sends her sprawling into the arms of a dying man with a toddler and his weird, broken family.

“It’s been very rare to have known you, very strange and wonderful” --F. Scott Fitzgerald

She comes back the very next day.

It’s about noon and she’d seen the blonde one-- the happy one, uhm… Penelope! Emily had watched Penelope pull up in the driveway at about eleven thirty. So, she knows someone’s home over there but when she steps out on her porch she’s not expecting him to be sitting in that rickety old rocking chair.

Idiot-- because she’d seen, from her kitchen window, Penelope helping him outside. The woman was talking his poor ear off.

The icing on the cake, of course, is that she was creating a dialogue for what to say when she got over there.

Out loud.

So, he definitely heard her talking to herself like a crazy person.

“Hey,” she says lamely, stopping in her tracks. Now she’s in a really bad spot. He looks like he didn’t sleep last night and definitely not in a talking mood with the oxygen mask over his face.

Of course, she can’t really know that he didn’t sleep last night. Spent the whole night breathlessly fighting with Dave over his own health and how he was feeling. Of course, like shit is the truth but he’s fighting the clock and he doesn’t want to go to the hospital over a little labored breathing. Now he’s paying the price. He couldn’t even stand on his own this morning. He’d laid in bed until Garcia got here and been forced to ask her to help.

Life is slowly becoming unbearable.

“I need...” she blows out an unsteady breath. She has to clench her hands to stop them from trembling. “Do you have any bananas?”

Idiot.

Stupid fucking idiot.

But he nods. It takes him a moment but he reaches up and pulls the mask off his face, pinning it against his chest. “Just go…” he curses himself, mentally for his inability to do something as simple as breathing. Why should heart failure come with not only a permanent ache in his chest but also the double hit to the lungs? Anatomy is so stupid.

“Ask Pen,” he rasps, gesturing with a head tilt that he means for her to go inside. “She’ll get you one.” He knows there’s bananas in there because Garcia always brings him some from the store. He used to eat one every morning with his coffee. Now he can’t even stomach the thought.

Insult to injury is the awkward silence that passes between them as Emily steps into his house.

She comes out a moment later, Penelope trailing her. She shows him the bananas from last week. They’re pretty brown but she’s smiling. “Actually,” Emily says, stepping out and smiling between Garcia and Hotch, “the recipes Derek’s mom’s. She, uh, sent it my way to keep me from getting bored.”

Garcia nods and Hotch rolls his eyes fondly. He’d spent the last half an hour listening to Garcia go on and on about Emily’s sexy little partner Derek Morgan. And, as insufferable as it had been, he had seen the signals the two of them were sharing. The good thing is that he was visibly not the only person unsettled by Garcia and Morgan’s flirting.

Reid really hated it.

“She’s making banana bread,” Garcia tells Hotch, bumping her hip against him.

Emily blushes, “yeah but…” She twists her shoe uncomfortably in the dirt. “I’m not that great of a baker.”

Garcia shakes her head, “don’t be so hard on yourself! I’m sure it’ll be great.” She grins, “besides if you need any help Hotch and I are more than willing to be unbiased judges or helpers.”

Emily could laugh at the face Hotch makes. He most certainly does not want that. She shakes her head, “I’m gonna go throw these in. If they’re good, I’ll send you a piece?”

Garcia nods and they watch in silence as Emily goes back to the house.

The banana bread must not turn out so great because she never brings a piece over but the next day she knocks on his door with a plate of pancakes.

He’s in a sweatshirt-- Georgetown’s logo slapped on the front and worn with age-- and a pair of grey sweats that make her cheeks flush a little. Nice, idiot, she thinks as she explains she used the leftover bananas to make pancakes and wondered if he’d like some. Mercifully, he either ignores or doesn’t see her making intense eye contact with the floor so she doesn’t look anywhere near his hips.

After that, they form a strange pattern of her showing up with various baked goods or other types of gifts and such.

Otherwise, they’d both sit in their homes all alone with nothing but the silence. Or, rather, he’d have the silence because she is very loud. He likes to sit on the porch and listen to her blasting music through her house. Occasionally, he knows a song but mostly he just likes the way the rest of the neighborhood scowls at their houses.

It’s about nine in the morning when Hotch hears the knocking at his door. For a solid moment, he considers not even answering the door. There’s about a ninety percent chance whoever it is he doesn’t want to talk to. The number of people who have sent cards, and food, and made weird phone calls is numerous. So, if they don’t have the key to his front door or the familiarity to just come busting in-- it’s not worth his time.

Besides, he’s feeling grumpy and he’d like to just wallow for a moment… in peace, alone.

But then the door does bust open.

He’s trying to read the paperwork either the hospital or the school sent-- obviously, he hasn’t gotten very far into it if he can’t even tell what the papers are for. All that he knows is there are vibrantly colored sticky notes where his signature should be. But he isn’t just going to go singing his name willy-nilly. He’s not that far gone.

He looks up and Emily Prentiss is blindly-- her hands are over her eyes for some reason-- trampling through his living room.

“Can I help you?”

At the sound of his voice, her head jerks up. Two paired fingers separate and she looks just like one of his students as she lowers her hands and grins at him. It’s an awkward little grin but it’s not bad. “Uh,” she motions behind her to the door. “Sorry about that… Dave, he, uh, he told me that you’d be home all day and you are home all day and if I needed anything to just--” she grimaces as if she’s just considered how strange this is. “You didn’t answer and Dave said you always answer and you do and I didn’t want something to be wrong…”

She stops talking.

Mercifully.

Hotch grunts, “I do, normally.”

Somehow, the only good thing to come out of the last month is that Hotch gets to spend his days at home. Besides the drastic rise in homeschoolers in their town, the school had been gracious enough to handle his disability checks. Of course, everyone had smiled and thanked him for what he’d done to save his kids but Hotch is still very aware of the lawsuits and trouble David Rossi would cause if everything hadn’t gone smoothly.

Being the semi-famous author of a very successful line of children’s books earns Dave that power. Although, Hotch has seen him use it for good and for… well, mostly sex.

The downside is he gets pretty lonely at the house.

Jack goes to his aunts. Haley’s sister Jessica has been a huge help over the last few weeks. Reeling from the loss of her sister, she’d been more than happy to keep her only family close. Even if it’s just her ex-brother-in-law and nephew. Not that Aaron and Jessica’s relationship was severed just because of Haley and Aaron’s divorce.

It had been painful but not ugly. It had never been about the devotion they felt for one another or even the love.

Life just gets complicated.

A few teachers had still managed to get some more leave time and with Hotch’s heart actively failing, Reid, Garcia, and Rossi are on the receiving end of lots of understanding when it comes to asking for time off. They have a schedule set into place now: Garcia brings him lunch, Reid picks up Jack, and Dave brings stuff to make dinner for all of them.

It’s simple but affected. Daily and boring.

“Now this is going to make me sound like a dumbass--”

He’s known Emily Prentiss for all of week. He excludes the school thing from memory and the timeline. It’s better for his mental health-- which isn’t doing much better than his physical health if he’s being honest. The problem is, the woman is kind of crazy. It’s in an endearing kind of way but still.

Now he’s sitting in her living room. She’d come barging into his house just thirty minutes before, a hand over her eyes. He’d had to listen to her awful explanation for that while slowly and painfully making his way across the whole five feet separating their houses. The hand over her eyes had been in case he was naked because she may invade his personal space but she really doesn’t want to see his junk.

He’s not entirely sure where this comfort of hers is coming from. All he does know is that Dave has swindled his way into every aspect of Hotch’s life and now Hotch has his neighbor’s phone number. It’s for “emergencies”, of course. In case Hotch, God forbid, needs help and his only contact is his batshit neighbor.

“I mean it, Aaron,” she’s standing right in front of him with two spices in her hands. “It’s really going to make me sound like a dumbass here but what exactly is the difference between Cinnamon and Nutmeg?”

God, she’s crazy but she’s funny and hasn’t passed any judgement on his inability to get dressed. Just like now while she’s standing in a simple, well-loved tanktop and work jeans and he sits in his flannel pajama bottoms and a Hanes t-shirt that’s seen better days five years ago.

But they kind of passed lots of mile markers for judgment a long time ago. As in, last week.

He’d watched in silence as she emptied the contents of her stomach over the railing of his porch and she’d put pressure on the bullet wound that tore through his side. It’s why it was so easy for her to, after that night on the porch, to bring over a plate of pancakes and offer to grab him stuff from the store. Of course, he’d told her he was good and he, mostly, was.

Which is in direct consequence for why he’s here now.

“Nutmeg tastes like Christmas,” he explains because he has no idea how he’s supposed to explain this to a grown woman. “What are you making?” He’s suddenly very worried for whatever dish she’s making. Especially if she put nutmeg where cinnamon is supposed to be. It’s freaking September and, if he’s being honest, he really hates Christmas. That might make him too biased to figure out if she’s really messed up though.

She grimaces at the containers in her hand. She pulls her lip into her mouth and mumbles, “apple pie.”

His grimace is too much and if she weren’t so bummed with the aspect that her apple pie is most definitely ruined she might laugh. His accent is thick enough for her to comfortably assume he’s from the south not to mention he’s got a lot of that southern gentlemen charm.

“How much nutmeg did you use?”

Her face says it all.

He places both his fist on the sides of the chair and forces himself onto his feet. If Emily weren’t standing in silent horror that he might fall over or pass out or a hundred other things she might lend a hand. Then again, they haven’t established those boundaries and she can’t flawlessly just know like Dave does.

“Let me see the damage,” he grumbles but she can see that he’s not actually mad; he's just wary of what she’s done. He’s strange in that way. For a man who has made a career around working with children, he’s got a horrible resting face.

She lets him set the place, pointing him in the direction of the kitchen. It’s only a few feet but they make it two-steps before she decides she can’t do this silently watching thing. “Do you--” she offers him her forearm, the same way she’d seen Dave do the other afternoon.

He scowls at her arm but after a moment, he takes her hand. His skin is startlingly cold and his hand trembles until he settles his grip. It’s surprisingly easy and she doesn’t think much of it. At least he’s not dead weight to lug around. She’s had plenty of people hang onto her, she doesn’t even mind this.

“I think I might have used too much nutmeg,” she concludes before he can see the damage and rule her incompetant. It’s a warning.

He glances at her out of the corner of his eye… too late for the incompetant thing, she decides. He already thinks she’s a moron.

Rightfully so but still…

She’d known he was tall. It’s not that hard to see but as she’s standing beside him, his body pulled in and hunched over, he’s still towering over quite a bit. He’s a big man and he smells nice so he’s got a lot going for him. Too bad about the heart thing because he’s kinda cute.

“That’s all…” she moves him to the kitchen table and brings the pie to him. She really doesn’t want him falling in her kitchen. Dave likes her and she’d like to keep it that way. Besides, there would be so many awful and weird questions to answer if she had to take him to the hospital.

And now he’s sitting in horror at this pie in front of him.

��That’s all…” he repeats himself, shaking his head in disbelief. The pie is covered in a brown powder and he’s slowly processing that it’s all nutmeg.

She grimaces and nods.

He looks up at her, mouth open but disbelief making it impossible for him to say anything. He’s seen a lot of weird things. Preschoolers are… they’re a piece of work but this is testing every bit of training he has.

“It’s bad, isn’t it?”

He nods, “definitely.”

Huffing in a way that he recognizes from dealing with one too many headstrong four-year-olds, she places her fist on her hips. She scowls down at the pie. It’s cooked and it smells okay but if she’s been too generous with the nutmeg there’s no way that’s going to taste good. After a moment she hums and turns around, pulling out two forks she comes right back to the table.

“Well,” she says with a tilt of her head, “christmas apples can’t be that bad, right?”

He takes the fork being offered to him with no interest whatsoever in eating this pie but it's kind of funny and he’s having a good time. Together they break the baked dough and get a bite- sized piece. He’s fairly adamant but somehow it’s got nothing to do with his tricky stomach or the fact that he hasn’t been able to keep down much besides water and saltine crackers. It’s going to taste like shit and it’s exciting.

Emily chokes on her bite coughing and grimacing as she rushes to spit it out. To his credit, Hotch swallows his bite. “That was honestly the worst apple pie I’ve ever tasted,” he tells her, honestly.

She laughs and that feels so good. She hasn’t laughed in a long time.

He shrugs, “I’m not gonna lie to you.”

She tosses her fork on the table and shakes her head at the pie. So much for that.

“How exactly--” he bites down on the wave of pain that rocks through his body as he forces his legs underneath him. He stands, trembling and waving slightly with the effort it takes. “Why were you making apple pie so early in the day?”

Emily is still frowning at the pie so she doesn’t even look up at him. “Bored,” she mumbles. She’s upset about her pie. Damn… this whole nutmeg vs cinnamon thing is stupid. They look exactly the same so they should taste the same, right?

“Maybe you should try something else,” Hotch says, one hand still keeping his balance on the table. “Baking just doesn’t…”

Emily frowns at him, “I like baking, though!”

Hotch looks away, tilting his head and raising an eyebrow. “Baking doesn’t like you,” he mumbles.

She smacks his shoulder and he chuckles-- this isn’t the first failed attempt of her’s he’s tried. There was the cookies from Monday (that were burnt on the bottom and raw on top) and the banana bread he’d only seen but-- they could have killed a lesser man let alone him and his broken heart.

“Maybe I can try cooking,” she proposes.

He shakes his head, “are you gonna make me eat that too?”

She clicks her tongue, faking offense. “What, are you afraid?”

He smiles and it takes her breath away. He’s got high, sharp cheekbones and when he’s not carrying so much tension in his shoulders it’s so much easier to appreciate just how soft his dark hair looks. Her neighbor is hot. She’s not sure if he knows that though.

“A little,” he admits playfully, “but maybe you’ll be better at cooking than you are baking.”

She crosses her arms and scowls down at her pie. “I don’t think it’s going to take a lot to be better at cooking than baking.”

He makes a soft sound, “you said it, not me.”

She shakes her head at him but there he is smiling again. She can’t even be mad. “Maybe I’ll make dinner,” she proposes, tucking her hands under her armpits as she thinks. “Are you interested?”

Honestly, no but he doesn’t want to pass up on hanging out with her. So he nods.

“Six o’clock should be enough time to cook something, right?”

Jesus, she’s going to kill him.

“Why don’t I come over and help?”

Oh, she hadn’t thought of that. She nods, “okay. You wanna come over at three, then?”

It’s dangerous, without a shred of doubt there, but his heart does this little flutter. “Uh,” he has to clear his throat. “Yeah, sounds like a plan.”

Except three rolls around he’s a no show. Three turns into three-thirty and she’s not trying to be a buzzkill but the recipe calls for caramelized onions and she has no idea what that means but she hopes it doesn’t mean what she thinks it does. Carmel on onions? Sounds disgusting.

“Knock, knock?” She’s already barged into his house once today so it really shouldn’t be that big of a deal but something doesn’t feel right. She can’t shake it and she certainly can’t just… leave. “Hotch?” God, she hopes he’s just in the bathroom.

He isn’t.

“You okay?” she falls to her knees beside him. She’d never been this far into his house. Mostly, she’d never passed the living room but now she’s kneeling in his hallway and can see his bedroom from here. As much as she’d like to evaluate that-- because the space is strangely neat and God, who knew the bare minimum of a clean room was such a perfect green flag--

Right--

He shakes his head.

Oh.

“Should…” she knows he hates the hospital, who doesn’t? But… he’s gasping for breath on the floor, his pale hand clutching at his chest. The sight is very overwhelming and hurting her deeply because it’s bringing feelings back that she thought were getting better. “Do I need to call--”

To the school and to the blood pooling between their bodies.

He nods. He’s terrified but just seeing Emily brings some strange comfort. Her and her awful cooking might just get him through this. He won’t die on this floor. Not on this ugly ass rug Dave made him put down.

The ambulance comes, bounding the sirens shrill sound up and down the block. Making a spectacle out of an awful experience.

He winces when the IV goes in and she just stands, bouncing from foot-to-foot awkwardly watching. It’s not until he’s on the gurney, fighting the drugs rushing through his system. “You can come,” he rasps but no one can hear him clearly from behind the masks. Reaching up to pull it away, several hands swat his hand away and he makes a grunted, annoyed sound at hte back fo his throat.

An EMT leans over and calms him back down before Hotch starts trying to fight his way back up into danger. “Easy, buddy.” The EMT pushes on Hotch’s shoulders and it's not a lot of force but Hotch isn’t strong enough to fight it. “The pretty lady can come, okay? Just settle down.”

She stays with him and tells herself it’s because she doesn’t want him hurting himself but she really doesn’t want to leave his side until she knows he’s going to be okay. There’s no hand holding because they’re still at the point where they smack shoulders and stand feet apart but they’ve only known one another for a week and-- Emily can’t fathom what she’s supposed to do if he dies in the back of this shitty ambulance.

“Can you--” the EMTs give him something that nearly knocks him out on the spot but his breathing gets better and he stops gasping and wheezing. He just lays supine on the gurney. Limp. “Dave?” He can’t keep his eyes open but he hears Emily make what he thinks are words of confirmation but his sentence didn't exactly make sense so maybe she didn't understand him.

He’s pulled under by the warmth spreading through his limbs before he can repeat himself or worry with it.

“You can’t go back there, baby.”

Emily blinks and there’s an older woman stopping Emily’s zombie-like march beside the gurney as they rush Hotch off to the side. She can’t tear her eyes off of him. Watching numbly as they cut his shirt down the middle and start to attach to electrodes to his alarmingly pale chest.

Her hands are trembling as she pulls her phone out of her pocket. “Dave?” she’s breathless with the anxiety swelling in her own chest. “I’m so sorry--” and she’s crying. Why? He’s not her friend? He’s her neighbor who she’s known for a whole freaking week and yet-- And she can’t deal with Dave being mad either. But he isn’t.

The minute he steps into the hospital, he comes right up to and pulls her into a hug. She sobs into his arms and he lets her because he’s seen Aaron this bad before. He knows it’s unnerving.

“Do you have any news?” Dave asks her and she shakes her head. He squeezes her arm and smiles at her tear-stained face. “I’ll be right back, okay? They know my face, I might be able to wrangle some news out of one of the nurses.”

She nods her head and watches dejectedly as he walks away.

Aaron had told her that Rossi had slept with many nurses while he was in the hospital. She’s thinking about the way he’d smiled when he told her that when she falls into the waiting rooms stiff chairs.

#shattered hearts fractured lungs #aaron hotchner #tw school shooting #emily prentiss #whump #hotchniss #hotly #penelope garcia #spencer reid #derek morgan #david rossi

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aceandpetty · 4 years

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Britt, Britt, Britt. Listen, I love teenage girls. I would die for most teens to go through this last leg of childhood more safely and comfortably. I know you’ve been through shit. I have infinite empathy for being incapable of making decisions that are the right ones. I hope that if your character resonates with anyone, they learn and grow into the best version of themselves. If that’s you, I hope you become the best you could ever be for yourself and others. That being said:

This is abuse. You don’t have to be an out-and-out terrible human being to abuse anyone. You also don’t have to be condemned for the rest of your life for participating in abuse. You still have to stop. You still have to make moves to rectify your behavior. Gaslighting, manipulation, berating, belittling, isolating, making someone feel beholden to you, and, as we all know, slapping someone, is abusive.

Anytime you have power over someone, you are able to abuse that power. Relationships, especially romantic ones, are often exchanges of power. We become vulnerable to one another in order to bond and build intimacy. That’s why we see so much abuse and opportunities for abuse in romantic partnerships. We have to go through the terrifying ordeal of being known. Terrifiying because it can create imbalances of power. We can be unbalanced by finances, housing situations, geography, age, the workplace, education, and our physical and mental health. Someone is not weak in their personhood because they are poor, homeless or on the verge of homelessness, away from their family or home, younger, subordinate in their workplace, a student, physically and/or mentally ill, and/or disabled, physically and/or mentally. They are rendered weak by others ability to use those statuses for their own gain. Whether that be to exploit them, for monetary gain, sex, labor, or any combination thereof; or wound them, financially, sexually, physically, mentally, or any combination thereof.

Sander has been rendered vulnerable by the knowledge of his mental illness. Every Sonja had this knowledge. Every Sonja had definite moments of disrespect and abuse of this knowledge. It didn’t make them bad people, or even really abusive in their relationships. It contributed to their toxicity to their Even and his toxicity to her. Resentment built from being infantilized and in dead relationships. They were no longer good for one another. It needed to end. She realized it eventually and she came to terms with it, enough to show kindness to the Isak. Her reaction made sense in terms of someone moving from hurt. Britt has also moved from hurt, resentment, insecurity, and infantilism. However, she hasn’t just been abusive in moments. She’s abusing Sander.

Britt’s attraction to Sander seems to now be one of attraction to power. We know she has major issues with abandonment, infidelity, and betrayal of trust. That’s valid. I would never say otherwise, having lived as a teenage girl. What I will say is that her actions and relationships as a reaction to those fears are dangerous to herself, and especially, to others. She was abusive to Jana, and then had the ability to mold the narrative of her relationship to Sander as one of care and her victimhood. To JANA. Jana knows her. She knows what Britt is capable of doing when she feels justified in anger. And she STILL believed her. That takes skill. Skill at manipulating people’s feelings for her and their perception of situations. There’s a lot Jana doesn’t know (Robbe and Sander’s care for each other, the extent of Robbe’s mother’s illness, what growing up with a mentally ill parent is life, so on), which Britt used to her advantage. There’s a lot as an audience we don’t know (Sander’s family history, his relationship to his own mental health, his experiences with relationships and abuse, what he does and doesn’t know about Robbe’s family), and that was used to Britt’s advantage for our perception of Britt and her and Sander’s relationship.

I don’t think any of this was accidental necessarily. We see it in Skam repeatedly in this season. The denial of mentally ill people’s agency. Herculean efforts to tie every behavior to symptoms of mania or depression, as if that invalidates all actions automatically. Isolation, ostracism, lack of empathy, fear of the unknown, and blatant disrespect. The attribution of queerness to being mentally ill. (That’s a whole other post.) Britt, like most things in this version, is a mind blowing example of how bad those aspects can be, how bad people can be for each other, how badly we can internalize trauma and project it onto others, and how anyone can abuse their power.

I’m mad at her, as a character and as the many many people I have known like her. She needs help to no longer treat others this way. That goes for her boyfriends, her friends, people she dislikes, people she disagrees with, and those who make her feel insecure. Restoration of this will only come when she, and everyone else, realizes that she has controlled, manipulated, gaslighted, isolated, ingratiated herself to him, and physically abused Sander. She has made a martyr of herself. The victim of someone else’s struggle with mental health. She has belittled Sander’s entire right to autonomy. She has contributed to homophobic ideology with her views on Sander and Robbe’s relationship. She has said terribly triggering and harmful things to Robbe. She has to stop. Jana has to quit listening to her. We all do. And people like her.

I’m not blaming her for being a teenage girl. I’m not judging her anymore or less harshly for being a teenage girl either. It’s precisely because I believe that she can be rehabilitated from this cycle that I want to point it out. Just like our Robbe, who we’ve seen come so far from his toxic internalized homophobia, Britt can come out of this a better person. I just need her to do that away from Sander.

Sander needs support and respect. To be listened to and cared for by someone who doesn’t view him as a burden or test of strength and patience, but someone who wants to engage in care mutually. Recognizes his fully humanity as their partner, their equal. He needs real professionals that are invested in his wellbeing outside of their own personal gain and ego. He needs community and friendships that know his mental illness as a part of him. Not a part that trumps any other thought, feeling, or move he has or makes. But just a part of his full person. Something to love him for, not in spite of. Britt ain’t it. That doesn’t make her a villain. Just one of the villains of this story.

#britt ingelbrecht #wtfock #mental illness #mental health #abuse #homophobia #sander driesen #robbe ijzermans #jana ackermans #sobbe

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scriptlgbt · 5 years

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My story is about pirates. The MC is a trans guy and the captain is a lesbian who is some sort of big sister/mother figure to him. It's quite violent. I was wondering if it could be problematic? I know it's problematic to show trans woman being overly violent in fiction but what about cis lesbians and straight trans guys? Also, do you know about real any queer pirates i could read about? And what did pirates think about homosexuality/transness?) How was it being queer in the pirate world?

A conversation that I had, that is relevant:

ME: [PARTNER], do you know anything about queer pirates?

PARTNER: I know that there were many, and they’d sometimes be like -

ME: Sea husbands kind of thing?

PARTNER: Yeah, and one would inherit from the other’s booty, and when it was divided up, they’d share their share of the booty.

ME: [mischievous grinning face]

PARTNER: [nodding] And they might share each other’s booty.

Disclaimer: This whole thing is going to largely focus on what is known as the Golden Age Of Piracy. I’m also not a historian, I just hardcore, love pirates with my heart and soul. This is going to be a long post.

So, this is super generalized, but pirates, and even sea-faring folks in general (see: - or sea, hahahahaha - the LGBT+ history of Brighton in the UK), have tended to have a much higher rate of LGBT+ folks and minoritized people in general, throughout history. As far as most research I’ve done goes. Being in a travelling situation and having the anonymity of being able to move around with chosen family generally has great appeal to folks whose existences are filled with oppression and a sense of not belongingness. This has also applied for racialized people, women in general, impoverished folks in general, a lot of different people who wanted to reclaim a place in the world that ostracized them.

Another fun fact, the use of the term “Friend of Dorothy” as a euphemism for gay folks was investigated by the US Navy. They misunderstood it as meaning that there actually was a woman named Dorothy who could be routed down and coerced into outing her “friends” to the military. Cruise ships and others have also used this phrase to covertly advertise that there were meetings for these folks. (Source: Wikipedia | “Friend of Dorothy”)

But to get to the pirates, specifically.

Most pirate ships largely had their own code that everyone on their ship had to agree to. Some had things like, “you’ll be marooned with one knife, and no food if you are caught not reporting loot to be divvied up by the crew fairly” and things like that. But generally, whoever ran the ship, the Captain, would get to pick the rules. And with the partial-democracy that comes with the idea of mutiny, and the more notable reliance on the labour of it all, in general, things were able to be slightly more consensus-based than the on-land governments.

There are numerous women who became pirates to take ownership of their lives in ways that weren’t permitted on-land. Anne Bonny and Mary Read are historical figures that might be worth looking into. The two of them shared lovers, sailed together, had intense care for one and other and with their dressing up in masculine-coded attire and the like, there’s a lot to go off of in assuming they may have been romantically involved with each other. If not, at least they had some iteration of what a lot of contemporary folks might find comparable to a QPR.

The concept of “sea husbands” was also called matelotage (or bunkmate) depending on your crew. It was kind of the buddy system, but gayer. With little need to consistently explain it to outsiders, folks at sea were freer to explore the different ways a relationship with another person can be, without so much worrying about how it looks to others at a passing glance. And as pirates, there’s less concern that you’ll get shit from the law for gay stuff Of All Things.

Buccaneer Alexander Exquemelin wrote: ‘It is the general and solemn custom amongst them all to seek out… a comrade or companion, whom we may call partner… with whom they join the whole stock of what they possess.’ (Source)

It was just normal. They also had a version of health insurance where someone was compensated if they ended up disabled from battle. The compensation of death of your partner also works into this.

As for transness, these kinds of things have had fickle definitions and historically, it’s hard to be able to pinpoint specific people as fitting cleanly into contemporary cultural definitions of transness, because frankly, the past had different culture to now. When it comes to writing canonically trans characters in contexts where the language might have been different, it’s important to focus on making sure that a trans reader can identify the personal connection with that character’s experiences and feelings, just as much as it is to use language to name folks as trans.

Representation can go deeper than surface terminology and the like, and in cases where the terminology doesn’t necessarily match, it has to. Language like, “I never really felt like a [assigned gender] - I see myself more like [desciption of actual gender identity or name for it].” - is as good as just saying the character is trans in my opinion.

Depending on where the character is from, they also may have just outright had a word in their language for their identity.

Gender presentation was significantly freer with pirates than it was for folks on land. Things like earrings, frilled sleeves, varied hair length and similar, were not uncommon, although the gendered coding associated with these aspects of appearance had different implications than they do now. Gold earrings on seafarers were there to fund a proper burial if someone’s body washed ashore. Gendered clothing was also coded in more binary ways on land. Folks who wanted to be coded as men could do so by wearing pants and folks who wanted to be coded as women could do so with skirts and dresses. (Tangential but fun fact yet again: dressing in those big poofy skirts usually included massive pockets. They were generally not physically attached to the skirts, but if you wore it all properly you would easily be able to reach into them.)

Pirates and other seafarers also had clothing referred to as ‘slops’ for cleaning (if they were of the rank that cleaned anyway) which were pretty wide-legged pants that could almost pass for a skirt.

Material that pirates used for clothing was largely what they stole, but it was cut and sewn into the same shapes a lot of other seafarers wore. At the time, it was largely illegal (under English rules anyway) for people who weren’t the bourgeoisie to wear anything made with nice fabric. Rich people saw this as deceitful, and these laws enabled richer people to not mingle on an equal level with those of a lower socioeconomic status.

As pirates, if you’re already shunning the law, may as well wear full calico suits. (Like Calico Jack Rackham.)

There’s more info on pirate and privateer clothing here. (The link is to a free book in HTML format, complete with illustrations and talk of materials, and how the clothes worn at sea varied from clothes they wore when they came into shore and towns.)

I could write a book on this and still not have covered enough. But the gist is that pirates were a big counterculture of outsiders living their lives. LGBT+ people and racialized people got thrown into the mix (and jumped right in) and experienced much more liberated lives than they might otherwise. That isn’t to say they were flawlessly inclusive - there still definitely were a lot of things people thought of in congruence with colonial beliefs. There was racism and homophobia - but it looked a lot different, and was a lot lighter than you’d think. And there were some ships which banned women, but mainly I think that was because they typically didn’t have the background to hold their ground on the ships, and were considered more of a plus one to certain crew members (who brought them - the rules were specifically about bringing them onto the ship rather than them being there of their own accord) than part of the crew. Sometimes women were part of the crew.

Notably, Anne Bonny and Mary Read were in a polyamorous triad with Calico Jack Rackham. (I think a cis + het historian might argue about this but that would seem like denial to me tbh. There is much, MUCH more evidence pointing in this direction than against it, and it would be extraordinarily hard to argue otherwise.) I would definitely do some research on them!

I also recommend this book (link is the free text on WikiSource), A General History of the Robberies and Murders of the most notorious Pyrates. It is perhaps the most famous contemporary record of the lives of a number of pirates from the time, including Anne Bonny and Mary Read.

As for the sensitivity aspect of this ask, I’d say that what you are describing is completely fine. As long as the violence isn’t used to dehumanize or completely demonize, I would even say that I don’t have any warnings for you about it, or precautions to advise on.

Thank you for this opportunity to infodump about LGBT+ pirates. I hope this is not overwhelming, but I’m also happy to parse out segments of this better upon request. (Our ask will be open eventually, I promise.)

- mod nat

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thejakeformerlyknownasprince · 5 years

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Imagine that you were put in charge of a modern, high-budget, well-written Animorphs TV series. What changes to the plot/characters/world would you make while adapting it? (Books that you'd skip, arcs that you'd rearrange, things you would add or outright alter...)

[Important caveat: I have ZERO experience in set design, directing, editing, camerawork, or any other processes involved in TV production, unless we’re going to be super generous and count the bit of scriptwriting and stage-acting I did in high school. Ergo, these ideas might make no sense in practice.]

Animate it. I would much much prefer to see an anime-style show to a live-action one for a handful of different reasons:

Battle scenes, morph sequences, and alien appearances wouldn’t be constrained by budget realities. Although we’ve come a long way from AniTV’s practical effects, in 2019 Runaways still minimizes Old Lace (the sentient dinosaur) and struggles with her somewhat less-than-convincing appearance while she’s onscreen. I’d like to see real-looking battles between exotic animals and highly unusual aliens. I’d like to see Ax portrayed as a deer-scorpion-centaur with no mouth who also has complex facial expressions. I’d like taxxons and hork-bajir that match their descriptions in the books. CGI for a moderate-budget TV show can’t do that yet.

The characters’ appearances could match their descriptions in the books. I don’t really care about AniTV’s Jake having blue eyes or Marco having short hair. I do care about the fact that Cassie is described as short, chubby, dark-skinned, natural-haired, and androgynous in self-presentation… whereas AniTV’s Nadia-Leigh Nascimento is (through no fault of her own and 100% the fault of Nickelodeon) none of those things. I’d like to see all of the characters drawn in a way that matches their canon racial heritage, and voiced with actors of those ethnicities as well. For bullshit marketing reasons of bullshit, that’s not as likely to happen in a live-action show.

I’d want the show to convey the frequent mismatches between characters’ physicality and their personalities. It’s an important motif of the books. It’s part of the reason that Tobias has been claimed by the trans* community. It’s a major plot point, lest new viewers think that the vice principal of the school is actually trying to kill his own students. It doesn’t come off in AniTV, for all that I commend them for even trying (casting Shawn Ashmore’s twin as controller-Jake, portraying Chapman as straight out of Stepford), just because the nature of controller-ness and nothlitization are difficult to convey literally. Animation has a lot of tricks, from deliberately distorted drawings to screensaver-like “mental space,” that can actually convey concepts like mind control or body dysmorphia pretty well — Alphonse in Fullmetal Alchemist and Aang in Avatar the Last Airbender great examples of body-mind mismatch and multiple consciousnesses in one body, respectively.

Use a cold open for every episode. I am a sucker for Batman cold opens or any other opening scenes that pick up in the middle of the characters’ everyday lives, because they work so well to convey that there is a crapton of life happening outside of the plot of any given episode. Several Animorphs books (#9, #14, #35, #41, #51) open this way, to great effect, and I love the way that it gives us slices of life we might not otherwise see (morphing to cheat on science homework, completing entire offscreen missions, having dinner with the family) and help build these characters’ worlds outside of individual episode plots.

Introduce James sooner (and have better disability narratives). There are several aspects of Animorphs’ social justice consciousness that age okay (Rachel shutting down Marco’s constant flirting) or not well at all (Mertil and Galfinian). One important way the series could update Animorphs is through having canon disabled characters like James, Mertil, and Loren have bigger roles and not resorting to kill-or-cure narratives. Maybe James could come in sooner and form a Teen Titans West-esque team with the other Auximorphs so that he and Collette and the others could be recurring supporting characters with unique plotlines. Maybe Loren could still gain morphing power, but remain blind and brain-damaged so that the hork-bajir need to work with her to figure out accommodations while sleeping rough.

Modify Jake’s and Cassie’s parents to account for the contemporary setting. The fact that the kids so often disappear all afternoon or even overnight without anyone worrying just wouldn’t translate to a contemporary reimagining of Animorphs. Tobias and Ax are each other’s only family on the planet whereas Marco’s dad and Rachel’s mom are both overworked single parents. Jake’s family, however, and Cassie’s…

Cassie’s parents are so freaking cool in canon that they would definitely start to worry if Cassie went for an entire “weekend at Rachel’s” without answering any texts or calls. Maybe there could be some scenes with them talking about how they have this super-mature responsible daughter whom they can trust not to get into trouble even if she does hate cell phones, but oh well because they’re not big on technology either.

Jake’s parents are… less cool, but they still try their best. The show might explain their lack of concern about either of their disappearing kids through upping the hippie factor from his mom, maybe until she practices Free-Range Parenting. (Why yes, it is true that Jake’s family would have the necessary privileges to get away with free-range crap while Cassie’s family would not, because yes it is the case that black families have been arrested for leaving kids alone for 10 minutes while white families are allowed more passes under the law. Yes, that is a steaming pile of racist bullshit.) The other way it could go is by having Jake’s parents completely checked out, which could get in the way of plots like #31 that hinge on them genuinely caring about their kids, but could also introduce an interesting dynamic if it partially parentifies Tom.

Include at least one Rashomon plot. The TV series would by necessity lose the first-person narration, with all its brilliantly subtle shades of bias and misinterpretation. One way to try and bring that back in would be to convey the same events from multiple points of view with subtle differences in the way that each person perceives what happened. This could happen somewhere in the Visser One plot, with Rachel interpreting the scene as a straight Animorphs-vs-yeerks battle, while Visser One interprets it as Visser Three incompetently sabotaging her as Animorphs ruin her life, while Marco interprets it as a struggle to protect his mom and also save his friends, while Visser Three interprets it as the andalite bandits flagrantly plotting with Visser One, while Jake interprets it as Marco going off the rails from stress… and the only witness who has a sense of what actually happened is Eva. Other possibilities abound.

Start with a plan to make one episode per book… and modify as necessary. There are areas of the series I’d like to see expanded (#50 - #54 covers a lot of ground in relatively little space) and areas that I think could afford to be compacted (#39 - #44 feature a whole lotta nothin’). But instead of adding or discarding an entire book, I think you could spread out many of the plots by simple virtue of TV shows not being constrained by first-person narration.

Certain books just wouldn’t get straight-translated today anyway (#40, most notably). I don’t think any books are so bad or useless that they couldn’t be modified into decent television episodes.

The ramping-up that leads to open war happens mostly in the background of #44 - #51, but a bunch of scenes with just controllers talking to each other could go into that process in a lot more detail. This content could help fill out plots like #44 and #48 that frankly don’t have a lot else going on.

The entire plot of Visser happens over a nonspecific period of time between #30 and #45, so instead of getting one book we could get an entire running Yeerk Empire subplot with major consequences for the main plotline.

Similarly, the andalites’ decisions happen mostly offscreen but have major consequences for the Animorphs. The consequences for the Electorate after the events of #38 could also run for a whole subplot that sets up their decision to nuke Earth in #52.

The biggest absence from the last couple books is Rachel. Her last book is a friggin’ dream sequence, she acts out of character in #52 especially, and the narration order cuts off directly before giving her one last book. It wouldn’t be necessary to add an entire episode just to rectify this oversight, when #51 could still be Marco-centric but also show her and Jake on their sabotage mission, and #52 could have the same rough plot but with a few scenes between her and Tobias thrown in for good measure.

Anyway, maybe the various Chronicles could be a handful of Doctor-lite episodes where the Animorphs themselves are incidental and Elfangor or Aldrea has the helm. Maybe the events of the Chronicles could come out organically over the course of the show, for instance by expanding the memory-dumps Tobias gets in #1 and #33 or having Jara tell Dak’s story in #13 or #23. The Megamorphses, on the other hand, could pretty easily just occur as regular-series episodes, albeit possibly as two- or three-parters.

Lean into the comic-book aesthetic. Animorphs is written very much in the style of a graphic novel, from its “teens with superpowers save the world from aliens” plot to its heavy use of onomatopoeia. Even the use of hypertext symbols around thought-speak hearkens back to the comic book convention of using pointed brackets around alien languages to convey translation. The show could homage this motif through having dramatic transformation sequences, “uniforms” of multicolored spandex the kids use to morph, an opening credits sequence that emphasizes the power of each animal, and other superhero-comic elements throughout.

Have the violence be consequential. To keep the examples from earlier: in Fullmetal Alchemist, as well as in Avatar, characters that get hurt stay hurt. A character getting shot or stabbed is portrayed as a potentially life-changing event. Characters’ injuries do not disappear between episodes, and even alchemy and waterbending are not portrayed as total fixes. Characters scar, they become disabled, they spend entire episodes in recovery, they accrue trauma, and they do not shrug off life-ending injuries. Animorphs helps to justify the idea that six kids could (mostly) survive (most of) an entire war against a friggin empire through making the protagonists nigh-unkillable thanks to their healing abilities, but it nevertheless shows that shooting someone will result in that person bleeding and screaming and possibly dying. Having a sci-fi or action show meant for children isn’t actually a valid excuse for portraying violence as cool or funny or inconsequential the way that (Avengers Assemble, Teen Titans, Kim Possible, Dragonball Z, Pokemon, etc.) too many children’s sci-fi/action shows opt to do.

#animorphs #anitv #racism mention #long post #asks #anonymous #animorphs meta #ableism mention #teen titans #avatar the last airbender #fullmetal alchemist #Anonymous

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gegenji · 5 years

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Details - Chachanji Gegenji

BASICS

Full name: Chachanji Gegenji Pronunciation: Cha-CHAN-jee Geh-GEN-jee (Hard Gs) Nicknames: Cha, Chach, Chacha, Chachi, Chachan, Chagenji, Mallet Masher Height: 2′10” Age: 19 Zodiac: Byregot Languages: Eorzean Common, Doman Othardian, some Sign Language

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS

Hair color: Green with white “frosting.” Frosting is not dye, but caused due to time spent in training and meditation in an area of highly positive-aspected aether. Eye color: Violet, with a slight mirrory-silver hue. Silvery effect (and extra reflectiveness therein) also caused by training mentioned above. Skin tone: Lightly tanned, freckles on cheeks and shoulders. Body type: Stout and burly, still vaguely pear-shaped with a noticeable endomorphic musculature (think classic strongman rather than bodybuilder). Accent: “Eorzean accent” - which is a replicated mashup of Limsan and Ul’dahn accent made by Chachanji to appear more Eorzean when the whole “Doman scare” happened. Still does it out of habit (and enjoying it), though without it he does have a slight Othardian accent. Dominant hand: Right. Posture: Generally relaxed when not working, tends to lean back when sitting. Scars: Minor scar on his tongue from when it was split, very difficult to notice. Tattoos: None. Most noticeable features: Normally hair or eyes. When caught without form-blurring garb, his physique.

CHILDHOOD

Place of birth: Mountains of Prism Lakes. Birth weight/height: Below average height, above average weight. Manner of birth: Normal, no complications. First words: “Wark!” Siblings: Gogonji Gegenji (older brother), Nininya Ninya (older sister). Parents: Zozonji Gegenji (father), Jijinya Jinya (mother) Parental involvement: Was trained in Gegenji family smithing techniques from a young age by his father - stressed even moreso after Gogonji left. Learned business techniques from his mother. After the razing, frequently made trips to Mor Dhona to visit family there to help out or just for holidays. Family has since returned to Doma to help with the reconstruction, so involvement and interaction has understandably dropped.

ADULT LIFE

Occupation: Armorsmith (primarily), Blacksmith, and Leatherworker. Current residence: Personal smithy and home in the Goblet. Close friends: Jancis Milburga ( @jancisstuff ), Virara Wakuwa ( @onehundredplumblossoms ), Aya Foxheart ( @ayafoxheart ), among others. He is a very friendly sort. Relationship status: Single. Financial status: Quite stable. Owns his own smithy, and serves as seneschal/acting head of the minor noble House Dentra’s smelting guild in Ul’dah. Vices: Doman picture books and hero stories.

SEX & ROMANCE

Sexual orientation: Heterosexual Romantic orientation: Heteroromantic Preferred emotional role: submissive | dominant | switch | unsure Preferred sexual role: submissive | dominant | switch | sex repulsed | unsure Libido: A bit stunted, but otherwise healthy. Turn ons: Chachan is still trying to figure out what he likes in girls, but usually he is attracted to people who radiate positive energy. Energetic sorts, helpful sorts. How big your heart is often is what catches his attention most. Along with the basic physical attractions that comes from being a lad in his late teens. Love language: When in the early phases, he tends to give away that he likes someone through blushing and fidgeting and stumbling over his words like a dork. When in a relationship, he enjoys hugs, hand-holding, leaning against his significant other, resting his forehead against them. A lot of physical contact, really. Relationship tendencies: Chachan has only been in a couple relationships, so he hasn’t really developed too many noticeable tendencies. Mostly they are magnifications of aspects he has in friendship - a desire to see them safe and happy. Given his worrywart nature, however, does mean that he can be a bit overly protective. He also has a nasty habit of wanting to keep his own troubles quiet so that he doesn’t unnecessarily worry his significant other, especially when it seems like they’re already in a stressful situation.

MISCELLANEOUS

Hobbies to pass the time: Reading hero stories or Doman picture books, playing Triple Triad. Mental illnesses: Low self-esteem and self-worth, worrywart. Physical illnesses/disabilities: Small aetheric well and general ineptitude with magic. Alchemically-induced aethero-malleability with excess aether resulting in growth, can only be reversed through removal of excess aether. Left or right brained: Slightly right brained. Fears: Loss, those he cares about being hurt, severely harming or killing someone himself. Self confidence level: When smithing isn’t involved, generally kind of low. His poor self-image (in some part due to his somewhat un-Lalafellin physique, further hindered by his aethero-malleability compounding the situation) and frequent flounderings in his attempts to be helpful and heroic have left him a bit gun-shy on several fronts. It’s also why he tends to have a bit of a tsundere response to praise - deep down he appreciates it, but it conflicts with his self-image and self-confidence. Vulnerabilities: As noted, Chachan is very prone to worry (especially with friends and family) and oftentimes thinks very poorly of himself. Add that to his normally emotional nature, pacifistic nature, and bouts of Gegenji stubbornness... and he has plenty of vulnerabilities that one could exploit.

Tagged by: @againstthewiind and likely others that I’ve missed. Let me know if you did and I can add you here!

Tagging: Anyone who hasn’t done this yet and wants to!

#ffxiv #meme #chachanji #details #againstthewiind

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kkglinka · 6 years

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I see many writers characterizing Blake Belladonna as fundamentally timid, receding, someone “who has always run” etc, and I think that's wrong, for a number of reasons. I strongly suspect that pre-Adam Blake was anything but those things — that they aren't character traits at all, but outward coping mechanisms. Before I explain, I want to establish that we're on the same page:

Abuse is a pattern of manipulative or controlling behavior. The majority of abuse is emotional and psychological, followed by sexual, then physical violence, with financial aspects mixed throughout. The vast majority of abuse is non-violent and hinges on things like gas-lighting, causing financial dependence, isolating their victim from potential support networks, entrapment and coercion. The only uniting factors among abusers are relatively high intelligence and narcissism. They typically appear like nice, likable, often charming and admirable folks to anyone who is not their victim — enabling their abuse through social disbelief. Above all else, they want their victim's attention and energy, no matter what form it takes. Even constant, focused hostility is a desirable response because the abuser feeds off the emotional attention.

The majority of their victims are not weak-willed or stupid. That is a social myth, one often fostered by abusers themselves, because it leave their real targets unguarded. Beginners will start this way, but for most experienced abusers, a weak person is boring. They don't provide much fight, much effort, much resulting attention. Instead, they often target “strong” people that they can manipulate, whittle down, force into emotional attendance, take all that energy for themselves, then bask in the achievement of gaining and maintaining control over such a challenge.

Adam Taurus fits the Sensitive/Passionate Man model of abuser. He's suave, handsome, a charismatic leader, persuasive enough to both gain numerous followers and manipulate them into achieving his goals. Oh, but he's so sensitive, able to cry in very artful restraint in front of certain followers, gaining sympathy, evoking empathy because surely he must be in pain; he must be the true victim. And suddenly everyone is coddling, reassuring — even the victim themselves — showering the abuser with attention and support.

Blake's aggressive avoidance (preemptively fleeing) of emotional confrontations in which she believes she will be blamed by someone she cares about, even for actions over which she had little or no agency, is consistent with severe emotional abuse and gas-lighting. In this scenario, the abuser holds their victim responsible for any displeasure they experience. Even in cases where their victim is clearly not at fault, they are guilty of insufficient compassion and sympathy, especially if the victim themselves is in any way demanding emotional comfort. For instance, an abuser might attack their victim until they cry, then condemn them for “trying to get attention.”

Contrast this avoidance with what we know of her formative years:

Given that no one suggested Chief Ghira Belladonna be removed or replaced in office during the attempted coup, I believe that his office is hereditary, which is in line with other aspects of the Remnant universe. I'm guessing that he stepped down from the previous White Fang political party, and became Chief, when an older relative died. I'm inclined to believe any formal royalty the faunus might have had were executed by the victorious human forces prior to the establishment of Menagerie, but that's the cynical historian in me. Regardless, the Belladonna's clearly have a high social status, which also explains a puzzle: Blake's obvious lady-like behavior, which didn't fit with the peasant orphan narrative.

If she comes from a political line of succession — if her family is the equivalent of old money — then she would have been groomed for her role as a political leader her entire childhood. Even if she's not a formal heir, her family name carries enormous prestige, a valuable asset. She would have been well-educated, any leadership abilities she naturally possessed would have been bolstered. Her political and social engagement with a wider community would have been encouraged, and she would have studied strategy, public speaking, crowd control, along with the more subtle “good manners” that are used to guide small groups.

Yet we also know she participated in front line, violent protests. In many noble families, civil or military service is a tacit expectation. It might be considered a civic duty to experience the full range of human/faunus conflicts, to witness front and center what problems exists and the effects they have on their people Given their own pasts, it makes sense that Blake's parents would train their only child — and possible heir — to be equally engaged.

We know she was passionate enough about her beliefs to fight tooth and nail over it with what seems to be a very loving, supportive, and respectful family. A runner doesn't draw that sort of line in the sand to the point of rejecting their own family. What she did, as a naive but highly principled teen, wasn't run away; it was run toward and to hell with anyone who wasn't brave enough to stand with her on the front lines. Altogether, this suggests a pattern of confrontational behavior — an angry idealist.

She would have been the perfect target for a charismatic man with political ambitions — and I'm sure her parents knew it. If she was trained to have all the skills I described, she would have been a very useful lieutenant. Given her age when she joined RWBY, she was at best sixteen when this, at least somewhat, older man charmed her away — young enough to groom. Fortunately, she had a strong enough formative period that she was able to overcome the gas-lighting and escape on her own. This is a very difficult achievement for any abuse victim, but next to impossible for someone already inclined toward passivity and avoidance.

Next we have Blake's initial conflict with Weiss during Season 1. Background narrative tells us that the two were engaged in repeated verbal debates before Blake finally loses her temper, accidentally revealing her race to someone she knows is a key (future) political rival. Only after she reaches that level of confrontation does Blake's abuse-related coping mechanism come into play, triggering immediate and irrational avoidance. That level of pnaic is an excessive and abnormal learned behavior — not a mere personality trait.

Back up, rewind, abusers isolate their victims. They lie and manipulate friends and family into abandoning the victim. They disrupt outings, invent excuses to cancel events, fabricate evidence and lie about their victim to that individual's friends and family. They make the victim look bad, irrational, hysterical, unreliable, cowardly...You name it, until the friends leave in frustration. A particularly vicious abuser might even arrange harmful events that the victim learns about but is unable to stop. I can easily imagine Adam sending Blake's budding friends on suicide missions or otherwise putting them at risk, to sever their emotional support. Consequently, Blake expects to be rejected by potential friends; expected to be rejected by her own family.

In real life, an abusive ex will often violently target a new lover or partner, sometimes attempt murder, because it's only when their victim's emotional attention shifts away that the abuser feels threatened. So running in response to her former abuser enacting demonstrable harm to a new loved one was completely rational.

Adam is strong, intelligent and calculating. You'll notice that he didn't “lose his temper” (abusers always remain in emotional control of themselves), but made a strategic choice to demonstrate his continued power and control. Given that he successfully disabled RWBY's strongest member, given that abusers will use almost any tactic to separate their victim from supportive networks, leaving was the most logical choice. Abusers don't stop until they're appeased or their entire system of control is destroyed.

Blake's actions really did protect the rest of her team by "giving Adam what he wanted", but you'll notice that she headed straight toward another support network. Good on her; that was a sound, strategic choice and in contrast to another maladaptive coping strategy: the urge toward self-isolation.

Another thing in abuse survivors is overcompensation. Yes, she felt irrationally guilty over Adam's malevolent actions and Yang Xiao Long's conscious choice — neither of which are within Blake's agency — but her entire relationship with Adam probably centered on his feelings, needs and desires. Survivors need time to attend themselves, and Blake never really did that. She went straight from putting all her energy into Adam and the White Fang into serving RWBY. She was bound to be overwhelmed by a need for self-care sooner or later...but abuse victims learn early on that no one will do emotional labor on their behalf. So again, we've got a learned coping mechanism rather than inherent trait, and one that was repeatedly challenged by Sun Wukong and both her parents.

What we really have is two people, Blake and Yang, who have spent most of their lives doing emotional labor for other people — for different reasons — and won't ask for any in return. One has been taught harsh lessons about how risky it is to expect any. The other convinced herself she was too strong to need any. But in this latest seasons we see both of them begin trying. In Blake's case, she needed to regain confidence in her own judgment enough that she was able to command her community (which achieved what she wanted). Her confrontation with Adam demonstrated how much having support makes a difference.

In Yang's case, she better start bloody well asking for what she wants instead of cavalierly dismissing her own emotional needs. Yeah, that's on her; it's not Blake's job to play guessing and appeasement games. That's unhealthy. You don't hold a partner responsible for your own feelings, especially if you've made no direct, honest attempt to communicate them — which is called emotional avoidance. So I was relieved to see her break down in front of Weiss, confessing that need, but even moreso when she finally allowed herself to get past that machismo and cry. Baby steps, y'know?

In conclusion, Blake is a passionate, confrontational firebrand who acquired maladaptive coping strategies consistent with gas-lighting and emotional abuse, and those should not be conflated with core personality traits. Also, she doesn't have psychic powers and I look forward to seeing Yang use her words instead of brooding.

#fandom #rwby #blake belladonna #tw: abuse #bumbleby #rwby meta

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marissabelmonte · 6 years

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ABOUT HER ORIGINS.

What is her full name?

Marissa Amaya Belmonte.

What is the reason for her name?

Marissa was chosen by her mother because of the name sounding as if it was meant for someone strong, which is exactly what she wanted her daughter to be. Amaya was her grandmother’s name from her mother’s side.

What nickname(s) does she have and how did she get them?

Riss and Rissa are nicknames her parents gave her, as well as her extended family. She doesn’t use them anymore, though.

What is her date of birth?

She was born on October 26th, 1998.

Where was she born?

She was born in Norwich, England.

Where did she live since?

She still lived until she was eight in Norwich, then moved to London for three years. She then moved back to Norwich with her dad because of her parents’ divorce.

What social class does she belong to?

Upper middle class.

What are her parents’ names and occupations?

Her mother is called Celia and she works as a judge at the Ministry of Magic. Her father is named Emiliano and he works as an Auror.

What are her siblings’ names?

She’s an only child.

What is her relationship with her family?

She doesn’t get along with her parents. Her father used her to prove her mother what a great parent he was, disregarding how she felt. Marissa always had to be impeccable at everything, which left her with a lot of stress. Sometimes, she was under the impression that she would never be good enough, no matter all the efforts she made. She used to get along well with her mother. Marissa told her everything about her life, asked her for advice, but her mother betrayed her when she told her father about her girlfriend — when she knew how he would react. Marissa once relied on both of them for support, but she won’t after what happened.

Does she have children of her own?

She doesn’t.

If so, what is her relationship with child’s mother/father?

They’ll be married when they have children.

At what age did she become a parent?

To be determined.

ABOUT HER PHYSICAL IDENTITY.

What height is she?

She’s 5′4″.

How much does she weigh?

She weighs 57 kg.

What ethnicity is she?

She’s Cuban from both her parents’ sides.

What nationality is she?

She’s English.

What is her hair color?

Dark brown hair.

What is her usual hair style?

She lets her hair down all the time. She has messy wavy hair, but she arranges her hair every day so she has wavy curls without the messiness.

What is her eye color?

She has green eyes.

Does she have particularities (freckles, acne, birth marks, scars)?

She has a birth mark shaped like a crescent moon on her right hip. She has a scar on arm for when she fell off the broom in her first year, and a scar on her palm because she accidentally burned herself.

Does she have any disabilities (physical or mental, including mental illnesses)?

She doesn’t.

How is her health (sicknesses, allergies)?

She’s allergic to strawberries. Otherwise she rarely gets sick.

What does she consider her best feature?

Her eyes.

What is the worst they’ve ever been injured?

A broken arm during one of her first Quidditch matches.

ABOUT HER APPEARANCE.

What is her fashion style? How does she typically dress?

When she’s at home, as well as in general, she prefers comfortable clothes, such as sweaters and flannels. She loves wearing denim jackets. When she needs to be presentable, she wears a shirt and a skirt. As for the shoes, she wears combat boots or high heels.

Does she wear glasses or contacts?

She doesn’t. She has impeccable sight.

Does she wear make up?

She does, but still remains natural. She wears foundation, concealer, mascara and occasionally eyeliner.

Does she have any jewelry, tattoos or piercings?

She has a lot of necklaces. She doesn’t have a tattoo yet, but she wants one. She doesn’t have any piercings.

What is her style of speech (loud, mumbler, articulate, etc.)?

Her style of speech is articulate and imposing. She doesn’t have to speak loud to make people listen to her.

Does she have an accent?

She has a British accent.

Is she left handed or right handed?

Left handed.

What does her writing look like?

Her writing is clean and cursive.

ABOUT HER BELIEFS & INTELLECT.

How is her level of self esteem?

It’s great. She doesn’t think she’s superior to others, except maybe when intelligence is involved, but she recognizes her worth.

What languages does she know?

She speaks English and Latin fluently. As for Spanish, she only knows the basic because her parents rarely spoke Spanish.

What is her zodiac sign?

She’s a Scorpio sun, Capricorn moon and Scorpio rising.

Does she have any talents?

She can memorize what she’s studying fast.

What is her happiest memory?

The moment she kissed Alexa and she kissed her back.

What is her religious stance?

She isn’t a believer.

What are her pet peeves?

People who walk slowly. People pretending to be friends with her to get a favor. People who say “literally” too much. People misspelling or mispronouncing her name. People interrupting her while she’s talking.

What are her vices?

She doesn’t have any.

What are her bad habits?

Swearing. Not paying attention to people when she’s not interested in what they’re saying. Complaining. Eavesdropping.

Is she superstitious?

She isn’t. She literally has a half black cat.

How is her sense of humor?

A lot of sarcasm and irony.

How does she deal with stress?

She attempts to resolve the cause of the stress right then and there.

What does she do when she’s upset?

She distracts herself with one of her hobbies and isolates herself from people.

What about angry?

Depends on the kind of anger. But mostly, she isolates herself.

How does she react to frustrations (get worked up, calm down and think through it logically, give up, etc)?

First of all, she has a breakdown. Once that’s over, she’ll think of the issue logically and have another attempt again.

How does she accept failure (both from themselves and others)?

She doesn’t. She just doesn’t. That word doesn’t exist in her vocabulary.

What is her level of comfort with technology?

She grew up with both parents being wizards, but once she met Alexa, she accepted to have a phone in order to communicate with her. She keeps that phone with her because she agrees it’s practical.

Does she believe in the supernatural?

Definitely. It’s common knowledge that werewolves, ghosts, vampires and everything exist.

Does she believe in an afterlife?

She’d like to, but she isn’t sure.

Does she believe in happy endings?

Yes.

How does she want to be remembered?

As an incredible Quidditch player, but also for her ambition and kindness.

Is she good with their hands (practical, crafting or fine arts)?

Not particularly, but if she were to take a class or anything, she would be great.

How fast does she learn new things? Better with book knowledge or hands on approach?

Book knowledge. She’s a nerd.

How does she feel about asking for help?

She doesn’t like asking, but she recognizes sometimes she needs help too.

“Left brain” or “right brain” thinker?

She’s a left brain thinker.

Optimist or pessimist?

Depends on the situation, but most of the time she’s a pessimist.

Extrovert or introvert?

She’s an ambivert.

Leader or follower?

She prefers leader, but she doesn’t mind being a follower when she isn’t the best person for the situation.

Makes decisions based mostly on emotions, or on logic?

Kind of both, but her emotions influence a lot of her decisions.

Cautious or daring?

Depends on what aspect of her life we’re talking about.

Spontaneous or planner?

Planner, definitely.

Organized or messy?

She’s organized.

Worrier or carefree?

Worrier.

Artistic or mathematical?

Neither, honestly.

ABOUT SEX & INTIMACY.

What is her relationship status?

She’s in a relationship with Alexa, the person she wants to spend the rest of her life with.

What is her sexual orientation (is it something they question or a secret)?

She’s a lesbian. She isn’t questioning that at all and she isn’t keeping her sexuality a secret either.

Did she have any past relationships?

She didn’t. Alexa is her first girlfriend.

What is their “type” in regards to looks in a partner?

She likes girls. That’s all. She doesn’t have a type.

Qualities she looks for in a significant other?

Someone who will love her as much as she loves them, who she can count on and who will be there for her throughout everything.

Primary reason for being broken up with?

Doesn’t have one.

Primary reason for breaking up with people?

Same as above. But if she were to break up with someone, which she won’t because she found her soulmate, it would be because they betrayed her.

What are her views on sex?

Only does that with someone she loves, but she definitely likes sex.

Age and story of first kiss?

Seventeen, but I’m not revealing anything yet.

Age and story of loss of virginity?

Probably still seventeen. Again, not revealing anything yet.

Level of sexual experience?

Right now, she’s a virgin. She hasn’t kissed anyone either.

Have she lied about her previous sexual partners to the current partner?

No, she hasn’t. There’s nothing to lie about.

Has she ever been in love?

She’s head over heels with her girlfriend, Alexa. She’s her first love.

Does she fall in love easily?

Definitely not.

Does she take relationships seriously?

Very seriously. She isn’t scared of commitment.

Worst thing she’s done to someone she loved?

She hasn’t done anything bad to someone she loved.

Do they desire marriage and/or children in their future?

Yes, both. Though the latter scares her because of her own relationship with her parents, she knows as long as she has Alexa by her side, she will be fine.

Does she believe in true love or soulmates?

She does. She has her soulmate and the love of her life.

Thoughts on public displays of affection?

Definitely yes. She won’t hold herself from showing how in love she is with her girlfriend just because they’re in public.

How does she show affection/love to her partner?

By being there for them, through the good and the bad. Reminding them how worthy they are when they forgot. Telling and proving them how much she loves them all the time.

Thoughts on cheating/cheaters? Have they ever cheated?

She hates them. She hasn’t and never will.

What is her idea of a perfect date?

As long as she’s with Alexa, everything is perfect.

ABOUT HER RELATIONSHIPS.

What are her social habits (popular, loner, some close friends, makes friends and then quickly drops them)?

She’s quite popular but she only has a few friends because she’s a loner.

How does she treat others (politely, rudely, keep at distance, etc)?

She treats everyone politely unless they give her a reason not to respect them.

Does she trust people easily or tend to be wary?

She doesn’t trust people easily at all. It takes a long time to have her trust.

How often does she see friends and family?

She doesn’t keep contact with her family at all, and friends maybe once every few months.

Are they good at keeping in touch? If not, does this bother loved ones?

She’s good with the people who deserve keeping in touch with.

What is relationship with her family?

She only has her parents and she doesn’t talk to them after what they did.

Does she have any roommates or close neighbors?

She’s roommates with her girlfriend.

Who’s the person she’s most dependent on?

Alexa. She’s the only person she’s dependent on besides herself.

Who is she most comfortable around?

The love of her life, Alexa.

Who is her oldest friend?

Scarlett. They’ve known each other since they were around seven years old.

Who is her closest friend?

Besides Alexa, Scarlett. She’s always been looking out for her, even when she didn’t think she needed anyone.

Who is her worst enemy?

Her dad. From where she stands, he ruined her life.

Who is the most important person in her life?

Alexa. The person that matters the most to her.

Who does she respect and why?

Anyone that doesn’t give her a reason to do otherwise.

Who would they turn to if they needed help and why?

She would turn towards, what a surprise, Alexa.

How does she think others perceive her?

She thinks people see her as a cold person who doesn’t care about anyone but her success and her reputation.

How do others actually perceive her?

Someone they admire for the confidence and ambition she shows, but nonetheless someone they’re intimidated by and wouldn’t approach.

Argue or avoid conflict?

Communicate whenever conflict appears.

Thoughts on large groups of people?

She doesn’t want to be around large groups of people.

What is the quality they look for in people?

Loyalty and honesty.

Has she ever lost anyone close to her? How did she handle it?

She hasn’t lost anyone to death, but she stopped talking to her parents when they prevented her from helping her girlfriend. She was heartbroken. She counted on them her entire life, but they hurt her too badly for her to forgive them.

Does she act differently around strangers than friends? If so, how differently?

She does. She’s more reticent and polite.

Would they ever consider adopting a child? Why or why not?

She will adopt four of them.

ABOUT HER VOCATION.

What is her level of education?

She graduated from Hogwarts.

What is her profession?

She’s a professional Quidditch player. More specifically, Chaser.

What are her passions?

Quidditch and Herbology.

Which is more important – money or doing something she loves?

For Marissa, definitely doing what she loves.

ABOUT HER SECRETS.

What are her phobias?

Being abandoned. Being betrayed. Being heartbroken. Someone she loves getting hurt. Not reaching her dream career. Having failures in general.

What are her life goals?

Have a family of her own with the love of her life and becoming a professional Quidditch player.

What are her dreams?

Have an apartment with her girlfriend. Travel the world with her girlfriend.

What is her greatest fear?

The death of the person she loves most.

Most embarrassing thing ever to happen to her?

Getting set up for detention because some younger students didn’t like how she never got in trouble. Not figuring out they were setting her up.

Something she’s never told anyone?

She pretended she was fine on her own, but she was lonely. Sometimes she felt as if she wouldn’t find anyone who would be by her side.

What is her biggest regret?

Trusting her parents wanted what was best for her, when they didn’t.

What is her criminal/legal record (Crimes committed? If so, were they caught or charged)?

She doesn’t have one.

What she most wants to change about her current life?

Nothing. Everything’s perfect the way it is.

What she most wants to change about her physical appearance?

Nothing. She loves herself the way she is.

ABOUT HER LIKES & DISLIKES.

What are her hobbies?

Spending time with her girlfriend, taking care of her plants, gardening, reading and learning, decorating her flat with new things.

Indoors or Outdoors?

She prefers the indoors.

What is her favorite color?

Green. Not only because it’s her house’s color, but because plants and nature are green and she loves those too much.

What is her favorite smell?

Plants. Her girlfriend’s fragrance. Old books.

Favorite and least favorite food?

Favorite food is Ropa Vieja. Least favorite food is Lancashire Pot.

Favorite and least favorite book?

Favorite book is Quidditch Through The Ages, because of her obvious passion for the sport. Least favorite book is Ancient Runes Made Easy, because even as intelligent as she is, she had trouble understanding the book.

Favorite and least favorite movie?

She doesn’t watch movies.

Favorite and least favorite song?

Favorite song is “I Won’t Give Up” by Jason Mraz. Least favorite song “Treat You Better” by Shawn Mendes.

Favorite and least favorite holiday (and why)?

Favorite holiday is Christmas, for obvious reasons. I don’t think she has a least favorite holiday though.

Coffee or tea?

Both. She’s English, she obviously loves tea, but she needs coffee to wake up.

Does she watch TV? If so, what?

She does. Her favorite shows are How To Get Away With Murder, The Fosters and Orphan Black.

Favorite place to hang out?

Her own apartment.

Does she like music? What kind?

She does. She likes songs with meaningful lyrics, love songs included.

Favorite type of weather?

Rainy weather because she can stay inside.

How does she feel about traveling?

It’s one of her dreams to travel the world.

What sort of gifts does she like?

Thoughtful ones that make her realize how much the person cares about her.

ABOUT HER MORALITY.

Ever been in an argument (with who, about what, what happened)?

She’s been in a lot of a lot of arguments. She speaks up whenever she has an issue with someone.

Ever been in a physical altercation (with who, about what, what happened)?

She hasn’t.

What trait do they find most admirable and why?

Loyalty. Because she needs people who are loyal in her life.

Thoughts on violence?

She doesn’t like violence at all. She thinks most things can be resolved with communication, but in case they aren’t, it’s better to let go.

What are they most ashamed of?

Judging her girlfriend when she met her because she was a Gryffindor. In her mind, that shows just the kind of influence her dad had on her, and she hates that.

What are they most proud of?

Being a kinder and better person since she met Alexa.

Is redemption possible (if so, are there limitations)?

Depends on the act — but most of the time, she doesn’t think so.

Does the end justify the means?

Definitely not.

Can they be manipulative?

Yes, but only whenever she has to.

Do they think it’s okay to cry (if not, why)?

She doesn’t like crying in front of people, but she learned to be vulnerable in front of her girlfriend.

When did they last cry and why?

When she thought about how she had to tell her mom about moving in with Alexa, but then she remembered she can’t do that anymore.

Would they be able to kill (if so, under what circumstances)?

She wouldn’t. At best, she would knock out someone if Alexa was in danger.

Who or what would they die for (or go to extremes for)?

She would die for her girlfriend.

Do they have any prejudices?

She used to have them against Gryffindors because of her dad being one of them, but she’s fine now. She recognizes not all of them are the same.

How do they react to unwanted sexual advances?

Stupefy and leave them there until someone finds them.

How would they react to stranger being bullied/abused?

She would fight and after she was done with them, she would make sure the stranger was okay.

How susceptible are they to peer pressure?

Not at all. She only does what she wants, not what other people want.

How do they react to conflict, both verbally and physically?

Attempt to resolve the matter peacefully, if not, she would leave — but only after she proved the person how wrong they are.

Easily forgive or hold grudges?

She holds grudges for a long, long time.

Forgive self or live with regret or guilt?

Live with the regret and guilt for some time, but eventually she forgives herself.

Would they ever cheat someone? Under what circumstances?

She wouldn’t.

Have they ever been betrayed? By who? How did it affect them/their relationship?

Her mother. She doesn’t talk with her anymore.

Would they ever betray a loved one? If so, under what circumstances?

She wouldn’t because knows how shitty that is when someone trusts you and she wouldn’t place that situation on anyone.

Do they respect the belief of others, even if it’s at odds with their own?

Depends on the kind of belief. She has no problem with people having different religions or if their beliefs don’t affect others, but if the person’s beliefs are racist, homophobic or anything other that judges people for the way they are — she can’t respect that.

Stand up for own beliefs or hide/avoid discussing them with people who have opposing views?

She stands up for what she believes in.

ABOUT DRUGS & ALCOHOL.

Thoughts on drugs and alcohol?

She doesn’t drink or use.

Do they smoke? If so, do they want to quit?

She doesn’t.

Age of first cigarette?

She never had one and she doesn’t want to try.

Age when they first got drunk (what happened, consequences)?

Sixteen, during a Christmas party. What happened is that her father discovered her and she was grounded for the rest of the holidays. She didn’t do anything, but she wasn’t supposed to drink in the first place. She hasn’t drunk since.

Do they drink on regular basis?

Not at all.

Do they have any addictions?

She doesn’t.

ABOUT OTHER DETAILS.

Most important or defining event in life to date?

Moving in with her girlfriend, leaving her toxic life behind.

What is her daily routine?

Wake up, eat breakfast, water her plants, leave for her job, comes back and spends time with Alexa.

What are her sleeping habits? (Night owl or early bird? Light or heavy sleeper? Fall asleep anywhere or need specific conditions?)

She’s an early bird, light sleeper, and she can only fall asleep on a comfortable bed with the light off.

Typical Saturday night?

Either going out with her girlfriend or staying in and having a date night.

Most used word or phrase?

“Give me a break.” “I love you.” “You make me so happy.”

What is home like (messy, neat, sparse)?

I imagine their apartment being the perfect combination of messy and neat. The word coming to my mind whenever I picture the space is personal. They have a lot of things reminding of things they love or just generally showing how the place is theirs.

Pets? If not, do they want any?

She has a black and white cat named Figaro, but she wants an owl too.

Most prized possession?

Her books, her plants, presents she received from her girlfriend.

One word to best describe them?

Resilient.

What makes them laugh?

Any attempt of Alexa’s to make her laugh — even if the joke isn’t particularly funny, she will still laugh because she loves Alexa too much. Otherwise, she appreciates jokes that you need a moment to understand, as well as cat videos. After Alexa taught her how to use the phone, she’s on Instagram watching those videos.

Any special holiday traditions?

Putting mistletoe everywhere in the apartment just to have an excuse to kiss Alexa all the time. She’ll initiate that tradition during their first Christmas together.

Is there anything they always carry with them? If so, why?

Her phone and a picture of her girlfriend.

Ideal vacation?

She’s happy anywhere as long as she’s with Alexa, but a place where she can be around nature would be preferred. Somewhere in the mountains.

If they wanted to hide something, where would they hide it?

In her garden, since she doesn’t let anyone else touch her flowers.

Do they keep a journal?

She does.

Are there any places that hold special meaning to them?

Aside from Hogwarts and the town she grew up in, there aren’t.

ABOUT SITUATIONS.

24 hours to live – name 3 things they would do.

First of all, she would spend all her time with Alexa. Second of all, she would visit everyone who was part of her life and tell them what she needed to tell them. Third of all, she would go back to Hogwarts, walking around the places where she made memories.

If they could choose, how would they want to die?

She wants to die of old age, after she accomplished everything she set her mind to.

What would they do if they received large sum of money?

Buy the apartment she lives in with Alexa then save the rest of the money.

What would they wish for if they found a genie?

For Alexa to be safe all the time. For their relationship to last. For her to realize when people’s intentions weren’t genuine.

If they could have one super power, what would it be and why?

Relieving people from both from physical and mental pain — because then she wouldn’t have to sit by and watch the love of her life suffer without being capable of doing anything.

How do they deal with insects?

She isn’t afraid of them. She can’t kill them either, because of her love for nature.

How would they react to death of loved one?

She would be hysterical. Broken beyond repair.

Granted opportunity to change one thing in their past – would they do it? If so what would they change?

She wouldn’t allow her mother back into her life. She wouldn’t trust her as much as she did.

ABOUT HOGWARTS.

What house does she belong to?

Slytherin.

What kind of wand does she have?

Hazel wood with a Unicorn hair core 12 ¼" and Unyielding flexibility.

What are her parents?

They’re both wizards. Her dad’s Gryffindor and her mom’s a Slytherin.

What position does she occupy in Quidditch?

She’s a Chaser.

What is her Patronus?

Black Stallion.

What about her Boggart?

The death of her girlfriend.

What was her favorite class?

Herbology.

What was her least favorite class?

Care of Magical Creatures.

#about.

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vsavirtualschool · 3 years

Text

Online Learning: How the Internet Changed School

The internet has revolutionized the way we learn.

Students now have access to information and knowledge from around the world at their fingertips, through online databases, videos, websites, and more.

The days of picking up a textbook for every subject are long gone. Students now use digital sources for research papers in just about every class.

This is not only a positive change because it saves time and money on books but also because it allows students to pursue topics they're particularly interested in without having to worry about being punished by teachers who disapprove of "going off-topic."

The Internet has changed schools dramatically over the years as well - giving instructors greater ability to share course materials with students all over the globe and make classes available 24/7 via an online portal.

For many people, the internet is their #1 source of information.

This blog post will outline some of the ways the internet has changed education as we know it!

The Internet has changed the way people access information.

The internet has changed how students learn and what they're learning about.

To make connections, ask questions, or gather information on any topic imaginable, all you need is a connection to the World Wide Web!

The Internet has changed education in a variety of ways, both good and bad. It is important to be familiar with these changes as they only continue to grow more influential over the years!

One way that the internet has changed schools is by providing students access to information all around the world through online databases, videos, websites, etc.

It has also increased creativity in students. Studies have shown that kids who use technology are more open-minded and innovative than those who don't.

For example, creative expression, in terms of both visual arts and music with multimedia tools makes it possible to become a composer without years of training. Opening up this level to new creators not only might produce a lot of rich hits but may also widen the range of artistic styles available to take into account.

Additionally, the internet has also increased student/teacher connections. It is much easier now for instructors to reach out and get feedback from students all over the world, leading to a more interactive learning experience!

How has the internet changed schools for students in different parts of the world?

In many countries, internet access is not as widespread and has yet to seep into the education system.

However, there have been many studies that show an incredible value in online learning because of how easy it is to acquire information when presented in the right way.

Plus with the push for more technologically savvy classrooms, incorporating technology seems like the natural next step.

You can even get college credit by taking free online courses offered by top universities even if you don't plan on pursuing a degree.

The accessibility to information about virtually anything online opens up new educational opportunities for remote communities where the nearby library might have limited resources or outdated books.

There are several different benefits when it comes to digital, or e-textbooks.

First, less paper is used because students don't use physical copies of their textbooks anymore.

Second, some studies have shown that students with electronic tablets experience increased instructional participation because they can build relationships more easily with their classmates through online discussion boards, chats, and message groups.

Thirdly, it allows for adaptive assignments which helps customize learning according to each student's area of need to increase engagement and enjoyment." This ability is called "Accommodative Learning."

And finally, there are also psychological benefits to e-textbooks:

The ability to reread passages and annotate sections as needed.

Ability to speed up or slow down the audio narration of content, which can be especially helpful for people with reading disabilities.

Increased motivation because students are more likely to complete assignments when they know that there is immediate feedback.

What are some pros and cons to having an internet connection at school?

Pros

The advantages of Internet use by students have expanded over time. Technological advances such as increased speed and affordability have made information readily available near their fingertips anytime they need it.

Students from different cultures and backgrounds will be able to encourage each other, share their ideas, and learn how to work together.

Apart from their academic endeavors, students can use the web for research and entertainment.

In addition, it is a great way for children who come from single-parent homes or busy families that don't have the time to help their kids with homework, so they need that kind of assistance.

In this modern age, job applications are not only sent by email or fax anymore. Students can now apply to schools online and get their education from the comfort of home using a computer, tablet, or other electronic devices.

Cons

One major con would be that it slows down the lessons in class thanks to all the distractions people have when trying online.

Also, there are some dangers on certain websites that can affect students negatively. This can include seeing inappropriate or violent content that could potentially scar them for life.

There are as well many things that break down about socializing from lack of face-to-face contact which affects both teachers and learners.

Students can now take courses online that were once only available in person

Social media and the school curriculum

Social media platforms such as Snapchat, Instagram, and Twitter make it easy for students to stay connected with their classmates and teachers outside of school hours.

In fact, the use of social media in schools has increased significantly over the last few years.

An advantage to schools using social media platforms would be having immediate feedback when correcting mistakes or grading papers. This could certainly motivate students to complete their assignments.

However, some parents and school administrators are concerned that these platforms can be a distraction for students who often spend more time on them than they do with their homework or other classwork.

This could lead them away from academics, which can make some parents and school administrators concerned about the potential risks involved.

With social media's popularity on the rise amongst teens, it also makes staying connected much easier and opens up potential risks such as cyberbullying.

The Future of Online Learning

The Internet has had an unprecedented impact on our society's education. It is now easier than ever before for individuals of all ages to learn new things or gain knowledge about topics they were previously unfamiliar with, from anywhere around the world.

We have seen how this vast resource has significantly impacted classroom learning by providing students with more resources outside of their schools' reach which includes higher quality textbooks (e-textbooks), educational videos, and even live lectures online given by prominent faces in their fields such as professors and PhDs.

"Technology has changed nearly every aspect of modern life that it touches - including education." -Bill Gates

The internet, as a tool for learning, is now equal parts necessity and luxury. All over the world, schools are using technology to provide their students with opportunities not previously available when studying from books alone.

Online courses allow teachers and learners alike to take classes on subjects they can't find near their home - without leaving it!

Furthermore, connecting with classmates through social media platforms such as Instagram makes staying connected outside of school hours easier than ever before while increasing creativity amongst peers who may never have met otherwise.

And let's not forget how even job applications can be submitted online these days!

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bcnjaminollivandcr · 5 years

Photo

Benjamin Garrick Ollivander + Questionnaire

trigger warning ; miscarriage & teen pregnancy

ORIGINS & FAMILY

Name:

Benjamin Garrick Ollivander III

Nickname(s):

Benny, Ben, Benji

Reason for name:

There have actually been two other Benjamin Garrick Ollivanders among his ancestors but Benjamin was his great uncle’s name and Garrick his grandfather’s name.

Birthday: Fifth of June 2003

Gender: Male

Place of birth: Diagon Alley, London, England, UK

Places lived since:

Diagon Alley from birth

Hogwarts during the school year from age eleven to nineteen

A house in St Albans that he bought for himself and Skye MacDougal

Parents’ names, backgrounds, occupations:

Gervaise Ollivander - father - son of Garrick and Morgaine. He is a halfblood and Gryffindor alumni. He worked at Ollivanders Wand Shop since he was nineteen until his son was old enough to take over. He never done or wanted to do anything else - wanted, even needed, his oldest son to follow in his footsteps. He married Sophia in 2001 and has two children, Ben and Laurel

Sophia Ollivander (née Fawcett) - mother - daughter of Alaric and Ingrid. She is a pureblood and Ravenclaw alumni. She is a housewife but sometimes helps out at Ollivander’s Wand Shop with her son. She is married to Gervaise with two children, Ben and Laurel

Number of siblings: One

Laurel Ollivander

Relationship with family (close? estranged?):

Although Ben does not want to work for the family business, he and Gervaise have an okay relationship. It is only strained for Ben because he never told his father that he would rather do something else with his life. Otherwise, they have always had a decent bond and can have conversations about other aspects of their lives with no problems.

Ben has not told his mother, Sophia about what he actually wanted to do with his future but part of him believes that she knows. Sophia is always the one to change the topic when a conversation about the wand shop is brought up which he is eternally grateful for. Ben is a huge mama’s boy and would never let anything happen to her. He hopes to find a woman one day that loves him as much as his mother loves his father and vice versa (and he has).

Laurel is more than a younger sister to Ben. She’s his best friend, his shoulder to cry on. He’s her protector, her guide whenever she needs it. He believes that even if they weren’t brother and sister their souls would be entwined and they’d be destined to love each other in the way brothers and sisters do. He isn’t sure what he would do without her and would do anything for her. Even give up the future he wants for hers. His one goal in life is to see her happy, always.

Happiest memory: The day that Skye McDougal agreed to marry him and then when they eloped.

Childhood trauma:

Ben has lived a very happy life, with little trauma. If he were asked about the most traumatic event in his life, he would say when he fell down the stairs at age seven from his home above the shop into it. He broke two bones and was left with a nasty scar on his head, often hidden by his hair. He was in a coma for two weeks and suffered temporary short term memory loss.

Children of his/her own?:

Karina Ollivander-MacDougal (unborn) - Ben got Skye pregnant in his sixth year and she had decided to name her Karina. She had a miscarriage so she was never born but Ben still considers her his child.

Apolline Davies (pretend) - Ben is not actually her father but when Natalie Davies told him that she had gotten pregnant by a teacher, he volunteered to pretend to be the real father to protect them. Apolline is actually Ben’s goddaughter and he is very close with her. It is becoming more and more obvious that Ben is not the real father but he still keeps up the act.

PHYSICAL

Height: 6″

Weight: 190lbs

Build: Athletic, Incredibly Buff

Nationality: English - African & Filipino descent

Disabilities (physical or mental, including mental illnesses):

Ben potentially has addictive tendencies. After his breakup with Gigi Perri and finding out Skye was betrothed to Jace Greengrass, he started drinking all the time. He cleaned up his act before it got really bad but given his partying past, it is likely he would have become a full blown alcoholic.

Though never diagnosed, Ben often experiences dissociation when going through traumatic experiences. This became prominent after his fall down the stairs when he got out of the coma. One prominent time that this happened was after Ben found out that Skye had had a miscarriage. It is usually only Laurel who can bring him out of these states.

Complexion (freckles, acne, skin tone, birth marks): Clear

Hair color: Black

Usual hair style: Shaved

Eye color: Dark Brown

Glasses? Contacts?: 20/20 Vision

Style of dress/typical outfit(s):

While at work, Ben tends to wear fairly smart clothes; a nice shirt and black trousers, occasionally with a nice jacket as well.

When out of work, Ben simply wears jeans and a t-shirt. When he was younger, said t-shirts would have had funny slogans across them but now they re plainer.

If Ben wears anything in bed, it would simply be boxers but frequently he sleeps naked.

Health:

Ben is incredibly healthy. He eats well and exercises to keep fit. He rarely gets sick although he is prone to the occasional scars or broken bones from Quidditch and accidents.

Grooming:

Ben does not wear makeup. He goes for a run some mornings or evenings and usually showers after that. If he doesn’t run, he showers in the morning. He keeps his clothes clean and rarely wears any that smell or have stains. He does not pluck his eyebrows. He cuts his hair frequently to keep the shave close to his head.

Tattoos? Piercings?:

Ben has several tattoos but there are four very important ones: a blue, watercolor feathered wing on his left shoulder as seen in his Instagram profile represents Gigi (though he did not tell anyone that), a laurel wreath on the middle of his upper back to represent Laurel, a cloud to represent Skye on his left ankle and the Karina constellation on his upper left arm for his unborn daughter. He has no piercings.

Accent?:

Predominantly English.

Ben speaks broken Tagalog with a Filipino accent which sometimes breaks through when speaking English too.

Unique mannerisms/physical habits:

Ben runs a hand over his head, especially when stressed or upset.

He cracks his knuckles in anticipation before a Quidditch match or important event.

INTELLECT

Level of education (high school drop out, undergrad BA/BS, PhD, MD, etc.): Hogwarts Graduate

Gifts/talents/skills:

Ben was a beater for the Ravenclaw Quidditch team at Hogwarts and was considered an excellent player with the exception of one or two matches where he had been drinking beforehand.

Wandmaking is part of the Ollivander genes. Ben was taught how to from a young age by his father and despite not wanting to do it, he is good at it.

Ben was always a fan of music. So much so that he asked for piano lessons when he was younger which his mother arranged. He only sometimes plays now.

Ben is good at picking up languages. He speaks fluent English and Spanish and is learning Latin, French and Tagalog.

Shortcomings:

Extremely overprotective is one way that Ben has always been described. This may not sound like a bad thing but he would literally rather be unhappy than let those he cares about be unhappy themselves or get hurt.

Ben used to have serious trouble with commitment. He would give up on something when it got difficult. For example, in his first relationship with Skye, they were fighting so much that he just broke if off without trying to figure out the truth.

Ben is prone to drinking and partying. Less so now that he is working, married and trying to have children with Skye but when at Hogwarts it got to the point where it was nearly a problem.

Benjamin is allergic to nuts.

Style of speech (loud, mumbler, articulate, etc.): Ben speaks articulately especially in a formal setting and he usually uses a strong and confident tone which reflects his personality. He speak less confidently when using other languages.

Religious stance: Agnostic

Cautious or daring?: Daring

Most sensitive about/vulnerable to:

Karina is one of the things that hurts Ben most to talk about. Not only because he’d lost a child but also because he didn’t know about it and gave up on his and Skye’s relationship the first time around without knowing the truth. Not many people know about it though.

Ben’s past relationships are also a topic of sensitivity for him. Despite his difficulty with commitment back then, he was very much in love with both of them and deeply regrets the mistakes he made.

Optimist or pessimist?: Optimist

Extrovert or introvert?: Extrovert

RELATIONSHIPS

Current marital/relationship status: Married to Skye MacDougal

Sexual orientation: Bisexual

Past relationships:

Skye MacDougal - Ben initially dated Skye when they were in Hogwarts. It was a near perfect relationship but when she fell pregnant and shortly afterward had a miscarriage, they started fighting and eventually broke things off. A few years later, they rekindled the relationship and quickly got engaged and then eloped.

Level of sexual experience:

Ben has slept with many, many people, male and female. During his years at Hogwarts, he was known to be a player when he wasn’t in a relationship due to his naturally flirty and charming personality. Known people he has had sexual relations with is Skye MacDougal, Gigi Perri, Aleksander Gaunt and Apolline Davies.

Most comfortable around (person): Laurel Ollivander, Skye MacDougal, Natalie Davies & Aleksander Gaunt

Oldest friend: Aleksander Gaunt

Pets?: Tabby cat named Laurie, after his sister

VOCATION

Profession: Manager at Ollivander’s Wand Shop

Past occupations: N/A

Passions:

Quidditch

Piano

Partying (formerly for the most part)

Attitude towards current job:

Ben does not like his job but he does not let that be known to anybody and just deals with it day by day.

Attitude towards current coworkers, bosses, employees:

Ben runs the Diagon Alley branch on his own as his dad stepped down from the job after his son graduated.

SECRETS

Phobias:

Arachnophobia / Fear of Spiders

Fear of Unhappiness / Being Unfulfilled

Life goals:

Ben‘s life goal is actually his sister’s. He wants her to be a successful professional Quidditch player and not get dragged into the family business like he did.

He wants to start a family. They have been trying to have children with not a whole lot of luck but are not giving up yet.

Greatest fears:

Ben’s greatest fear is 100% losing the people he cares about including his sister, wife, his daughter/goddaughter and closest friends.

Most ashamed of:

Finding out about Skye’s pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage after the fact and not trying to figure out why the fighting had started back then.

Compulsions:

Up until recently, Ben had a serious problem keeping his sexual desires in check. During his relationships, it was easier to control but before, after and in between, he could be reckless with the people he slept with. That might be why it was so easy for people to believe that he had knocked up Natalie Davies.

Crimes committed:

Ben has taken part in underage drinking & drug use but was never caught or convicted.

What he/she most wants to change about his/her self/life?:

He wishes he could choose a different career path but he knows that will never happen.

DETAILS/QUIRKS

Daily routine:

On weekdays, Ben wakes up at around seven and goes for a run on most mornings. He then showers and gets ready for work. He apparates to Diagon Alley opens the shop about nine and spends the morning serving customers, sorting wands and making them. He closes the shop for lunch between twelve and one and then does the same thing in the afternoon as the morning. He closes the shop at half past six. Usually he apparates home after that but occasionally he might stop for drink at the Leaky Cauldron or, if Skye is working a night shift, he might go and visit Natalie and Apolline in Hogsmeade before going home and going to bed.

On weekends, Ben’s plans can vary from babysitting his goddaughter, spending time with his wife, friends and/or Laurel, or possibly doing a weekend shift at the shop depending on the time of year.

Night owl or early bird?: Night Owl

Light or heavy sleeper?: Heavy Sleeper

Favorite food: Waffles

Favorite book: Quidditch Through The Ages

Favorite movie: Citizen Kane

Favorite song: Likes most music

Favorite color: Purple

Coffee or tea?: Tea

Crunchy or smooth peanut butter?: Crunchy

Type of car he/she drives: Does not drive and does not plan to learn.

Lefty or righty?: Righty

Cusser?: Definitely

Smoker? Drinker? Drug user?: Occasionally. Definitely. Rarely.

#tw: pregnancy #tw: miscarriage #sdhqtask1 #&& wandmaker #cd #tasks #what's wrong with a little queue

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the-stoned-ranger · 7 years

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hey guys, i did an analysis of JJ Leroy’s birth chart! time and place are guesses, mostly based on outward personality and appearance (the astrologer’s age old method of determining ascendant). it’s not done: i need to add info about planets and aspects, but enjoy this house delineation of his chart in the meantime. ask box open for any questions about this chart and jj’s character!

Ruler of 1st house in 12th: Creates outer persona to mask fears.

Ruler of 2nd in 12th: Must overcome fear in order to make a living. Gives to charities. Wants spiritual safety net rather than monetary.

Ruler of 3rd house in 1st: The way JJ communicatescomminucates influences the way people perceive him. His communication is a big part of his personality. Siblings affect communication style.

Ruler of 4th in 11th: Family and friendship are closely intertwined, ie: family members are also friends, friendships close enough to be considered family. Family relationships influence how JJ makes friends, and who he chooses to be friends with.

Ruler of 5th in 5th: Loves children and is something of an eternal child himself. Musicality. Has a unique “voice”, whether written or spoken.

Ruler of 6th in 10th: Hardworking. Does the work on a day-to-day basis. Has a reputation for being a hard worker. Health conscious. Gains professional recognition through sport/training.

Ruler of 7th in 7th: In love with concept of marriage/life partner. Partnerships (business, legal, love) are important.

Ruler of 8th in 7th: Deep emotional attachment to marriage and marriage partner. Sex important to marriage. Incompatible sexual desires can lead to marriage problems.

Ruler of 9th in 6th: Frequent work related travel. Encounters people from different countries/cultures in work. Job revolves around fitness/nutrition. May be a health/fitness “guru” of sorts.

Ruler of 10th in 12th: Professional pressures can lead to desire for “escape”. Fame can cause isolation. Relationship with parents can make JJ want to escape. Maladaptive daydreaming.

Ruler of 11th in 11th: Loves making friends. Friends can be “fans”; JJ is probably the most influential person in his friend group. Detached and somewhat aloof in friendship.

Ruler of 12th in 9th: JJ gets in touch with his spiritual side by travelling. He may be interested in the mourning/death rituals of other cultures. Travel is a means of escape.

Leo 1st House (Ascendant): More outgoing and gregarious that your average Cancer. People think he loves being the center of attention, but it actually stresses JJ out. It is hard for him to stop “performing” in social situations. He is likely quiet and quite submissive when left to his own devices, but he feels pressured to be the extrovert when in social settings.

Mercury 1st house: Talkative and intensely curious. Powerfully self-expressive. Logical and analytical outer personality, introspective and prone to anxiety in private. Issues in early education and/or with siblings in early childhood.

Leo 2nd house: Makes money off of his “persona” and performing. May make a living related to sports competition. Gains confidence from possessions/material wealth. May own his own brand.

Virgo 3rd house: Can be a compulsive worrier/overthinker. Prone to anxiety. Bogged down and preoccupied by details. Can lose sight of the bigger picture. When not anxious, can analyze and organize information skillfully.

Libra 4th house: Likes decorating. Wants home to be beautiful and pleasant. A peacemaker within the home; may have trouble asserting himself for fear of causing conflict.

Chiron in 4th: Difficult relationship to parents. Deepest psychic wound suffered in the childhood home. JJ may feel like a “black sheep” within his family, and consequently always feels like he doesn’t quite belong to any group he joins.

Scorpio 5th house: Intense involvement with sports. Creative expression of sexuality. Sexually playful. Attracted to people with a lot of gravitas. May try to “test” partners or have secret affairs. Sexually attracted to the taboo.

Pluto 5th house: Dramatic. Passionate. Creative. May become obsessed with their art. Their creative pursuits allow them to confront/process early childhood traumas. Can be overprotective of children and loved ones to the point of being stifling. A jealous lover, possibly obsessive. Attracted to secret affairs and unavailable partners.

Capricorn 6th house: Hard working. Driven to succeed in fitness/sport. Bodily self-mastery.

Aquarius 7th house: Attracted to unusual partners or partnerships. May have multiple partners. Friends become lovers, lovers become friends. Partners in romance are also partners in a cause.

Uranus 7th house: Attracted to relationships with little commitment. May have long distance partners or partnerships with a lot of independence. May be attracted to people in relationships or otherwise unavailable.

Neptune 7th house (JJ’s Neptune is within 5 degress of the 7th house cusp, and is considered to be in the 7th house): Living out the unconscious self through others. Can fantazise about/ idealize their loved ones/partners and may remain in bad relationships because they lack perspective in love. Thinking every one is “the one”. Believes in soul mates, bonds with partners through arts/creative expression.

Aquarius 8th house: Conflicts between friendship and romance. Promiscuous. Attracted to group sex. Likes to use technology/toys in the bedroom.

Pisces 9th house: Intensely spiritual, compassionate, and self-sacrificing. Finds common ground with others through religion/spirituality. Blends religious beliefs and philosophy with creative expression.

Jupiter 9th house: Lucky and optimistic. Generous and openminded. Most with this placement are intellectuals, but due to other factors in JJ’s charts (esp. the interception of Sagittarius/Gemini) this is less important to JJ’s personality. He is eager to learn, it may take him a long time to learn a skill. Once he learns something, however, he learns it for life and is eager to share what he knows.

Moon 9th house: Constantly searching for the truth about life and your place within it. Interested in religion and philosophy and seeks emotional comfort from these ideas. Bored easily. Restless. Wanderlust. May travel to escape emotions rather than dealing with his problems.

Aries 10th house: Assertive and driven in job. Known for being a strong personality, perhaps aggressive/argumentative. Known for his physical fitness. An aspect indicating a star athlete.

Saturn 10th house: Powerful ambition and drive. May feel, however, that he has too much responsibility or does not work hard enough to deserve his professional success. Can be self-sabotaging and overwhelmed by responsibility/expectations of others.

Taurus 11th house: Has a loyal, dedicated fan base. His fans and friends demand consistency and find change disturbing. Determined to reach a common goal with friends/peers. May have friends in the arts or humanitarian fields.

Venus 11th house: Friends-to-lovers. Staying friends with past partners. May belong to many groups or professional unions; likes the feeling of belonging. Attracted to quirky people. Unconventional relationships/group relationships.

Cancer 12th house: Needy, moody, self-destructive tendencies. Needs to be taken care of. Love/hate relationship with mother.

Sun in Cancer in 12th house: Very attached to family, especially the mother. Sensitive and moody. Can have a goofy sense of humor. Has a strong divide between his inner and outer personas. Identity is closely tied to family faith.

Mars 12th house: Bottled-up anger. Fights other people’s battles rather than his own. Always has to have something to fight for. Displacement of anger can manifest as passive aggression. Interestingly, also an auspicious placement for athletes: JJ is never skating for himself. He is skating for his family, his country, an identity larger than his own.

Intercepted Gemini and Sagittarius in the 5th and 11th house: An unusual learner. May have felt out of place in school/traditional learning environment. Prefers to learn through travel and experience of different cultures. Difficulties communicating, perhaps a learning disability. Has trouble expressing his opinions without sounding dogmatic. Problems with romance and children. Unrealistic hopes and wishes. Conflicts within peer groups.

#yuri on ice #yoi astrology #jj leroy #jean-jacques leroy

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gaiatheorist · 6 years

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Standards.

I started this one yesterday, inflamed by the Tim Lott article in The Guardian. My impression of the column was that he was suggesting that women created their own mental health issues, by virtue of being virtuous. Maybe I read it wrong, maybe, in my perilously precarious psychological state, I’m looking for issues that aren’t there. What do I know, I’m only a woman, with mental health issues. (No current formal diagnosis, I’m free-range mad.)

I am not a virtuous woman. I try to do the ‘right’ thing more often than the ‘wrong’ one, and, as much as I rant about amusingly disturbing revenge on the neighbours that steal my bin, I don’t actually intend them harm. The reason that I didn’t finish this yesterday was other people’s standards. The ex in-laws were collecting my son, to take him to his Dad’s for the weekend, and the house looked like it had been rolled down a hill, due to the kid being back from uni, and having no concept of putting things ‘away’.

Domesticity isn’t my strongest suit, if I was a domestic Goddess, I’d be Kali, I’m barely house-trained, house-proud is an alien concept, but the in-laws look at me all disapproving if the house is untidy. (Manic urge to tell them to wait outside next time, I have a thundering headache from the Mother-in-law’s gallons of perfume, and the Father-in-law has a habit of picking up and inspecting things that don’t belong to him. The kid has given me very stern instructions NOT to ‘leave’ any sex-toys on top of the cupboard that the F-i-l likes to have a good old nosey at.) It’s me, it’s not them. Years of the ex telling me to ‘straighten up a bit before my Dad calls.’ resulted in resentment, because it was his mess I was expected to ‘straighten.’

His standards were embedded by being raised as the blue-eyed boy who could do no wrong. A mother and an older sister idolised him when he was young, then, when his mother died, his father married the ironing gremlin, with her three daughters, and equally spoiled, and much-longed-for son. They’re weird-to-me, with their shopping-trips, and flowers, and soap operas, and chocolate, a different kind of dysfunctional. I don’t suppose there’s anything really ‘wrong’ with them, on a cosmic scale, I was just a square peg, refusing to spin in their chosen direction to fit a hole I didn’t want to occupy. I was a feral thing, the ex sometimes said that the ‘spark’ in me reminded him of his Mother, which is way too Oedipal to unpick at half past two in the morning.

I was feral because I hadn’t really been ‘raised’ by my parents, Creepy Carpet Tile Man referred to me as “An experiment, to see how far a person could be pushed, and sill remain vaguely functional.”, he has a point. A brutal, awful, impoverished, abusive childhood, with two parents who were barely functional. If there had been some sort of test that people needed to pass before having children, my brother and I wouldn’t exist. I’m covered in scars from wounds that should have been stitched, but my Dad was ‘scared of hospitals’, and my brother had a minor obsession with setting things on fire, how the two of us made it to adulthood still astounds me. Dirty, scruffy, feral children, and I have no idea how that happened, because both sets of grandparents ‘kept a nice house.’ My parents muddled through, times have changed, and there’s no point at all using my now-knowledge to reflect on all the ‘missed opportunities’ for that scruffy little girl and boy, I’ll park all of that in the ‘shit that happened’ file.

Standards, in my early development, were essentially “Do as you’re told the first time, or you’ll get a crack.” There were lots of ‘cracks’, sometimes there would be an identifiable trigger, more often not, if there had been a lovingly hand-sewn cross-stitch thing above the fireplace, it wouldn’t have said “Home sweet home.”, it might have said “If you don’t stop crying, I’ll GIVE you something to cry about.”. Dad hit us because he was an unpredictable, egocentric alcoholic, Mum hit us because Dad hit her, and she’d never really wanted us in the first place, we just tethered her to him. No fancy finishing school for me, I sit with my knees together in public because I hate the thought of uninvited physical contact, and, if you put me in a fancy restaurant with more than one knife and fork, I wouldn’t know whether to start with the inside ones, or the outside. (It’s outside, isn’t it? It has to be, it doesn’t make sense the other way. I do, however, know which side to ‘serve’ from.)

Chaotic, dirty, and very often hungry, my mother lit endless cigarettes from the gas-fire, and my father had endless ridiculous ideas to make his fortune. (Hello, direct comparison to my ex, and his stupid, expensive ‘projects.’) It was our ‘normal’, all we’d ever known, we didn’t know that other people didn’t have a goat living in the house, we just accepted that there ‘was’ a goat. We didn’t know that other people’s Dads didn’t butcher pig-heads on the manky kitchen floor, with missing tiles, and no doors on the cupboards. (I still have the scar from that, it was the only way I could tell left from right, I’ve always been a bit odd with directions.) Dirt-poor, too poor for cheesy chips in front of the TV, Jamie Oliver. Our ‘standard’ life quite frequently involved our mother, covered in tears, and snot, sometimes blood, dragging us out of bed in the middle of the night, putting our coats on over our pyjamas, and driving us to a friend’s house, ‘leaving that bastard’ again. She always reneged, and brought us back after a couple of days, though.

I was 7, and my brother 5 when she did it properly. I’ve never asked her what the catalyst was, I always assumed it was just the cumulative toll. “More power to you.” was a line she threw me in a text-message conversation the other day, in some ways we’re similar, but not very many. She made an appalling decision in the direction she moved us in, again, I’ll file that under ‘shit that happened’, and move on. She would have been 28, so I’ll give her the points for ‘getting out’ of the abusive marriage at a younger age than I did mine, but I’ll take them away again, because she went on to marry another violent alcoholic. (I’m not awarding myself any points for staying married to an emotionally controlling, coercive egotist for nearly 20 years.)

The point of re-telling all that seemingly disjointed history does loop-around to standards. She moved us away from my father before he killed her, or one of us, she worked, and paid the mortgage on a crappy house on a rough estate, we had food in the cupboards consistently. It was shit food, and she was a terrible cook, the St Ivel Gold margarine, and the frozen curry sauce microwaved on the pickings from the Sunday lunch triggered my ‘Eating disorder not otherwise specified.’ I had no control whatsoever over any aspect of my life, so I’d periodically stop eating. Nobody noticed my little rebellions of pushing the food around my plate, and not actually putting any of it in my mouth, because we ate in front of the TV. It was never a body-image thing, it was the mid 1980s, all that malarkey hadn’t been given a name yet, it was just me controlling the only thing I could. I buggered up my appetite with that, I’ll still go days without eating at all, and I can’t stand cheap-bland food, it tastes of ‘what happened to me.’

Major, major issues with, and around food. The last two tabs open in my browser are Jack Monroe’s ‘Bootstrap Cook’ site, and a Google search on recipes for lobster. I know, right? Looking up 20p meals on one tab, and lobster on another. I ‘fell into’ Jack’s website quite badly yesterday, because I needed something to focus on, distract-deflect, it’s what I do. Food seemed like a relatively safe rabbit-hole for me to stick my loopy head into, and distract myself from the imminent in-laws applying their standards to a life that’s none of their business. (Side-loop, they’re prolific ‘feeders’, the father-in-law likes fat women, and the mother-in-law likes making people fat. I’m not quite “All elbows and Adam’s apple.” emaciated, like I was a couple of years ago, but I cover myself in baggy clothes, I’m like a train-wreck that’s collided with a jumble sale.) The ex didn’t like cheap food, his family aren’t exceptionally wealthy, but there was always ‘good’ food, and plenty of it. The ex was spoiled, if he didn’t fancy what his step-mum put on his plate, he’d ask for something else, and she’d make it. He thought that was normal behaviour, “I’m sorry, love, I can’t eat this, is there anything else?” I’m having a BFG-moment here, the BFG explaining to Sophie that “There is no ‘else’.”

I’m unemployed, and disabled. There’s a frozen lobster thawing in my fridge. Have that, Jamie Oliver and crew, with your ‘poor people eat rubbish.’ theory, the kid and I are having lobster tomorrow. Stand down with the soap-boxes, I was working when I bought it. The juxtaposition of 20p meals, and suggestions for lobster would have amused me more if I wasn’t looking at the “This woman has tattoos, and mirrored kitchen tiles.” article. Other people’s standards, yet again, it’s a good thing it’s an old blog, because I’m pure outraged at some numpty commenting “Economy brand food is not nutritious.” They’re missing the point entirely, tinned pulses and frozen veg are probably more nutritious than fancy-flouncy ready-meals. Yes, there is some skills-gap, where people who were not ‘taught’ to cook-from-scratch will see own-brand chicken nuggets for 69p as a less contentious meal-choice for children than explaining what all the ‘bits’ are in something cobbled together from tins. Nobody ‘taught’ me to cook, my mother was a disaster in the kitchen, and my only concrete memories of Home Economics lessons at school are how to rescue a sponge-cake mix if you add the eggs too quickly, and carrying a Roses chocolate tin full of slightly warm chilli the mile home from school.

Standards. I’ve stopped buying the ‘emergency’ £1 ready-meals, for the days when my cognitive fatigue makes sharp-knives-and-hot-pans a dangerous activity. That’s partly because £1 for a single serving isn’t affordable on Universal Credit, I was splitting the single meal across two meal-times. It’s more because they’re not ‘really’ food, the stress of the last year has massively flared my digestive issues, and the value-range ready meals invariably contain either wheat-gluten to thicken them, or artificial sweeteners, both of which have undesirable outcomes for me. Far-away trolls and commenters, telling poor people that a bag of carrots is 50p have different standards. I’ve siege-mentality stocked my cupboards and freezer, because I won’t be able to afford groceries soon. My work-coach has started offering me food bank vouchers, which I’ve declined, because I still have food in the house, some of the new Universal Credit claimants won’t have had time to stock up.

Gods, I went the long way around that, didn’t I? Everyone has their own ‘normal’, their own ‘standards’, and Tim Lott’s column, saying that women might have fewer mental health issues if they lowered their standards irritated me. They’re not ‘our’ standards, Tim. They’re the standards imposed on us by others. Most of us don’t want to spend hours making ourselves ‘presentable’ in line with whatever the glossy magazines tell us is aesthetically acceptable this month, some choose to, and that’s their business, not mine. I don’t think any of us enjoy ironing clothes for other people, or cleaning yet more piss off the toilet. We don’t do these things because we want to, we do them because nobody else does, and we can’t inhabit environments that hover between ‘Men Behaving Badly’ and ‘Bottom’. Asserting that ‘women’ might be happier if they didn’t expend energy being ‘nice’, or ‘good’ enraged me, because we’re expected to be both of those, continually, and unconditionally. Good-wives.

My ex had standards that he expected the pixies to maintain. He’d stuff his rancid worn socks down the arm of the sofa, and then buy new socks when he couldn’t find any clean ones. (In his SOCK DRAWER.) He’d leave used crockery all over the house, and then suggest I ‘have a quick run around with the Hoover’, because he was expecting visitors, and the house was covered in toast-crumbs and dog-hair. I put up with that for far too long, and, when I started to challenge him on it, he’d reply “Yeah, in a minute, I’m just watching this.” His parents embedded that in him, that he could do as he pleased, and somebody else would pick up after him, they skewed their standards of acceptable ‘house-keeping’ onto me. I was ill yesterday, because I knew that they were coming, and that if they realised that I wasn’t coping, they’d judge my competency at dusting, rather than my disabilities, due to me being ‘female.’ I’m still not free of their expectations, and they’re nothing to do with me, I can’t ‘just leave it’, because they’ll see the mess, and want to help, I don’t want them anywhere near me, so I tidy to give them the impression that I’m managing.

I’ve had contact with my various parents and step-parents recently. My step-mother is a mouse of a thing, terrified of my father. My mother looks at my step-father before she speaks, as if asking permission, she has to iron his clothes just-so, and made reference to an argument they’d had recently, where he’d burned his arm on the iron after she refused to do it for him. She was messaging me as she was ironing. We’re extreme examples, I know, but the assertion that ‘women’ would be in better mental health if we stopped being ‘good’ or ‘nice’, stopped caring doesn’t work. We’re still being conditioned to care. By other people’s standards.

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advertphoto · 4 years

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Utah Divorce Code 30-3-10.3

30-3-10.3 – Terms of joint legal or physical custody order.

• Unless the court orders otherwise, before a final order of joint legal custody or joint physical custody is entered both parties shall attend the mandatory course for divorcing parents, as provided in Section 30-3-11.3, and present a certificate of completion from the course to the court.

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• An order of joint legal or physical custody shall provide terms the court determines appropriate, which may include specifying: o either the county of residence of the child, until altered by further order of the court, or the custodian who has the sole legal right to determine the residence of the child; o that the parents shall exchange information concerning the health, education, and welfare of the child, and where possible, confer before making decisions concerning any of these areas; o the rights and duties of each parent regarding the child’s present and future physical care, support, and education; o provisions to minimize disruption of the child’s attendance at school and other activities, his daily routine, and his association with friends; and o as necessary, the remaining parental rights, privileges, duties, and powers to be exercised by the parents solely, concurrently, or jointly. • The court shall, where possible, include in the order the terms of the parenting plan provided in accordance with Section 30-3-10.8. • Any parental rights not specifically addressed by the court order may be exercised by the parent having physical custody of the child the majority of the time. • The appointment of joint legal custodians does not impair or limit the authority of the court to order support of the child, including payments by one custodian to the other. • An order of joint legal custody, in itself, is not grounds for modifying a support order. • An order of joint legal or physical custody shall require a parenting plan incorporating a dispute resolution procedure the parties agree to use before seeking enforcement or modification of the terms and conditions of the order of joint legal or physical custody through litigation, except in emergency situations requiring ex parte orders to protect the child.

Types of custody orders

There are two kinds of child custody: • Legal custody, which means who makes important decisions for your children (like health care, education, and welfare), and • Physical custody, which means who your children live with. Legal custody can be: • Joint, where both parents share the right and responsibility to make the important decisions about the health, education, and welfare of the children. OR • Sole, where only 1 parent has the right and responsibility to make the important decisions about the health, education, and welfare of the children.

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Parents with legal custody make decisions or choices about their children’s: • School or child care • Religious activities or institutions • Psychiatric, psychological, or other mental health counseling or therapy needs • Doctor, dentist, orthodontist, or other health professional (except in emergency situations) • Sports, summer camp, vacation, or extracurricular activities • Travel • Residence (where the children will live) Parents who share legal custody both have the right to make decisions about these aspects of their children’s lives, but they do not have to agree on every decision. Either parent can make a decision alone. But to avoid having problems and ending up back in court, both parents should communicate with each other and cooperate in making decisions together. Physical custody can be: • Joint, which means that the children live with both parents. • Sole or primary, which means the children live with 1 parent most of the time and usually visit the other parent. Joint physical custody does not mean that the children must spend exactly half the time with each parent. Usually the children spend a little more time with 1 parent than the other because it is too hard to split the time exactly in half. When 1 parent has the children more than half of the time, then that parent are sometimes called the primary custodial parent. Sometimes, a judge gives parents joint legal custody, but not joint physical custody. This means that both parents share the responsibility for making important decisions in the children’s lives, but the children live with 1 parent most of the time. The parent who does not have physical custody usually has visitation with the children.

Types of visitation orders

Visitation (also called time-share) is the plan for how the parents will share time with the children. A parent who has the children less than half of the time has visitation with the children. Visitation orders are varied, depending on the best interests of the children, the situation of the parents, and other factors. In general, visitation can be: • Visitation according to a schedule: Generally, it helps the parents and children to have detailed visitation plans to prevent conflicts and confusion, so parents and courts often come up with a visitation schedule detailing the dates and times that the children will be with each parent. Visitation schedules can include holidays, special occasions (like birthdays, mother’s day, father’s day, and other important dates for the family), and vacations. • Reasonable visitation: A reasonable visitation order does not necessarily have details as to when the children will be with each parent. Usually, these orders are open-ended and allow the parents to work it out between them. This type of visitation plan can work if parents get along very well and can be flexible and communicate well with one another. But if there are ever disagreements or misunderstandings, this kind of an open schedule can cause issues between the parents, and the children may suffer as a result.

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• Supervised visitation: This is used when the children’s safety and well-being require that visits with the other parent be supervised by you, another adult, or a professional agency. Click for more information on supervised visitation. Supervised visitation is sometimes also used in cases where a child and a parent need time to become more familiar with each other, like if a parent has not seen the child in a long time and they need to slowly get to know each other again. • No visitation: This option is used when visiting with the parent, even with supervision, would be physically or emotionally harmful to the children. In these cases, it is not in the best interest of the children for the parent to have any contact with the children.

Deciding custody and visitation

The law says that judges must give custody according to what is in the best interest of the child. To decide what is best for a child, the court will consider: • The age of the child, • The health of the child, • The emotional ties between the parents and the child, • The ability of the parents to care for the child, • Any history of family violence or substance abuse, and • The child’s ties to school, home, and his or her community. Courts do not automatically give custody to the mother or the father, no matter what the age or sex of your children. Courts cannot deny your right to custody or visitation just because you were never married to the other parent, or because you or the other parent has a physical disability or a different lifestyle, religious belief, or sexual orientation. In addition to custody orders, the judge will probably also make child support orders. Keep in mind that a child support order is separate from child custody and visitation, so you cannot refuse to let the other parent see the children just because he or she is not making the child support payments that the court ordered. And you cannot refuse to pay child support just because the other parent is not letting you see your children. But child support and custody are related because the amount of time each parent spends with the children will affect the amount of child support. Click to read more about child support. Sometimes, if giving custody to either parent would harm the children, courts give custody to someone other than the parents because it is in the best interest of the children. Usually this is called guardianship, where someone who is not the parent asks for custody of the children because the parents cannot care for them. Click for more information on guardianship.

Ways to get a custody and visitation court order

In most cases, parents can make their own agreements for custody and visitation, without a court order. If you make an agreement between the 2 of you, the agreement becomes binding and enforceable. But if 1 of you does not follow the agreement, a court cannot enforce it until it becomes a court order. So if you and the other parent agree on custody and want a court order that either of you can enforce if 1 of you violates the agreement, you can turn in your agreement to a judge. The judge will probably approve the agreement, sign it, and it will become a court order. After the judge signs your agreement, file it with the court clerk. Click for more information on writing up a custody and visitation agreement or parenting plan. If you cannot agree, the judge will send you to mediation and a mediator from Family Court Services or another court-related program will help you. If you still cannot agree, you and the other parent will meet with the judge. Generally, the judge will then decide your custody and visitation schedule. Learn more about mediation of custody cases. In some cases, the judge may appoint a child custody evaluator to do a custody evaluation and recommend a parenting plan. A parent can also ask for an evaluation, but the request may not be granted. Parents may have to pay for an evaluation. The judge also may appoint lawyers for children in custody cases. The judge will also decide who will pay for the children’s lawyer’s fees. After a judge makes a custody or visitation order, 1 or both parents may want to change the order. Usually, the judge will approve a new custody and visitation order that both parents agree to. If the parents cannot agree on a change, 1 parent can ask the court for a change. That parent will probably have to complete certain forms to ask for a court hearing and prove to the judge that there is a significant change in circumstances (for example, the children would be harmed unless the order is changed) or other good reason to change the order. Both parents will most likely have to meet with a mediator to talk about why the court order needs to be changed. The Different Types of Child Custody

Physical Custody

Physical custody means that a parent has the right to have a child live with him or her. Some states will award joint physical custody when the child spends significant amounts of time with both parents. Joint physical custody works best if parents live relatively close to each other, as it lessens the stress on children and allows them to maintain a somewhat normal routine. Where the child lives primarily with one parent and has visitation with the other, generally the parent with whom the child primarily lives (called the custodial parent) will have sole or primary physical custody, and the other parent (the noncustodial parent) will have the right to visitation or parenting time with his or her child.

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Legal Custody

Legal custody of a child means having the right and the obligation to make decisions about a child’s upbringing. A parent with legal custody can make decisions about the child’s schooling, religious upbringing and medical care, for example. In many states, courts regularly award joint legal custody, which means that the decision making is shared by both parents. If you share joint legal custody with the other parent and you exclude him or her from the decision-making process, your ex can take you back to court and ask the judge to enforce the custody agreement. You won’t get fined or go to jail, but it will probably be embarrassing and cause more friction between the two of you — which may harm the children. What’s more, if you’re represented by an attorney, it’s sure to be expensive. If you believe the circumstances between you and your child’s other parent make it impossible to share joint legal custody (the other parent won’t communicate with you about important matters or is abusive), you can go to court and ask for sole legal custody. But, in many states, joint legal custody is preferred, so you will have to convince a family court judge that it is not in the best interests of your child.

Sole Custody

One parent can have either sole legal custody or sole physical custody of a child. Courts generally won’t hesitate to award sole physical custody to one parent if the other parent is deemed unfit — for example, because of alcohol or drug dependency or charges of child abuse or neglect. However, in most states, courts are moving away from awarding sole custody to one parent and toward enlarging the role both parents play in their children’s lives. Even where courts do award sole physical custody, the parties often still share joint legal custody, and the noncustodial parent enjoys a generous visitation schedule. In these situations, the parents would make joint decisions about the child’s upbringing, but one parent would be deemed the primary physical caretaker, while the other parent would have visitation rights under a parenting agreement or schedule. It goes without saying that there may be animosity between you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse. But it’s best not to seek sole custody unless the other parent truly causes direct harm to the children. Even then, courts may still allow the other parent supervised visitation.

Joint Custody

Parents who don’t live together have joint custody (also called shared custody) when they share the decision-making responsibilities for, and/or physical control and custody of, their children. Joint custody can exist if the parents are divorced, separated, or no longer cohabiting, or even if they never lived together. Joint custody may be: • joint legal custody • joint physical custody (where the children spend a significant portion of time with each parent), or • joint legal and physical custody.

Joint Custody Arrangements

When parents share joint custody, they usually work out a schedule according to their work requirements, housing arrangements and the children’s needs. If the parents cannot agree on a schedule, the court will impose an arrangement. A common pattern is for children to split weeks between each parent’s house or apartment. Other joint physical custody arrangements include: • alternating months, years, or six-month periods, or • spending weekends and holidays with one parent, while spending weekdays with the other. There is even a joint custody arrangement where the children remain in the family home and the parents take turns moving in and out, spending their out time in separate housing of their own. This is commonly called bird’s nest custody or nesting.

Pros and Cons of Joint Custody

Joint custody has the advantages of assuring the children continuing contact and involvement with both parents. And it alleviates some of the burdens of parenting for each parent. There are, of course, disadvantages: • Children must be shuttled around. • Parental noncooperation or ill will can have seriously negative effects on children. • Maintaining two homes for the children can be expensive.

Utah Divorce Lawyer

When you need legal help with divorce in Utah, please call Ascent Law LLC for your free consultation (801) 676-5506. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

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