#YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF SIR

[sebastianshaw]

Shaw hating Mother’s Day not for anything to do with his own nonexistent mother but for ALL THE ANGRY MOTHERS OF HIS INNUMERABLE PROGENY DEMANDING HE DO SOMETHING FOR THEM TODAY

#out of shirt #imagine him cornered by the horde #back against the wall #nowhere to go! #YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF SIR

[ghost-bxrd]

Tim can’t breathe. He can’t breathe.

He thought— the Tower was bad enough. He hates being kept out of the loop, especially for “his own protection”, but he never thought—

It is Robin who had been threatened. Robin that Batman had been taunted with. Enough times, and with grisly enough descriptions of what might happen to him, that Bruce sent Tim to the Titans as a last ditch effort to keep him well out of reach of Gotham and its newly minted crime lord.

But Hood took Bernard, and Tim can’t breathe. Can only stare at the grainy picture from an unknown number, showing his boyfriend tied up and gagged in someone’s— Hood’s, probably, oh god— bed.

Tim wants to throw up.

Please god, please no.

— sneak peek of “Modern Day Cain”

#the misunderstandings are STRONG in this one #Jason pls THINK about the placement of your hostage before sending ransom pics #you’re gonna give poor Tim a heart attack #meanwhile Bernard is having the time of his life because that’s RED HOOD and he’s soooo gonna use this opportunity to ask so many questions #nah sir he ain’t scared that’s HOOD #he protects innocent people #he must just be in a silly goofy mood #you think Tim survival instincts are nonexistent? #brace yourself for ‘imma become besties with a crime lord’ Bernard #meanwhile Jason: I did not plan this through did I #modern day Cain #jason todd #Bernard Dowd #Tim drake #TimBern #TimBer #tim drake x bernard dowd #batfamily #titans tower au #robin #red hood #sneak peek #fanfiction

[reindeerswillsavethisworld]

Corpse au case fic where the trio decided to try cracking a murder mystery, except instead of angst it's a comedy of errors where they make everything worse.

Like. Danny comes out of a portal dead and translucent and glowing, and there's charred remains of a human body on the floor. So now all three of them are freaking out, and instead of asking for help, or finding an adult, or telling literally ANYONE, they decide to just. Get rid of the body. As one does.

So that's what they do: they break out Tucker's nice shovels (because god forbid Sam's family owned something as pheasant as a shovel, and Danny's too afraid of touching their family's Patented Fenton ShovelsTM for... reasons), they find a nice desolate clearing in the woods, and then they bury Danny's body like one would a very unfortunate hamster who met their demise too soon under very suspicious circumstances. They even stay at the new "grave" in silence for a minute or five in respect and DEFINITELY nothing else, you know. And so, they bury the body, and then they (try to) forget the experience as some horrific nightmare.

And then, a year later, there's an uproar: the Amity Park's police department found the child's remains in the woods! And you see, Amity Park is not THAT big of a town, and the police estimated that the body belonged to a 14-15 year old child, and, look, there's only so many schools in a small town, alright. Obviously, the rumours start very soon in Casper High: about how the kid could've gone to their school, about how they could've died, about whether or not anybody was missing them, about their identity, and some definitely-truthworthy-would-I-lie-to-you-bro-come-on sources insist that the kid was murdered around a year ago, around the time ghosts started showing up. And these rumours obviously reach the ears of Sam, Danny and Tucker.

Now, you would've thought that their first thought would be something like "oh no, they found Danny's body", or "oh no, they know", or even simply "we're sooo fucked". Except. You see, the night they buried the body? It was really cloudy. And dark. And, y'know, it's very easy to get lost in a forest. And they were too high-strung, you see, they completely forgot to leave some sort of a marker or anything. And also like, it was so long ago, you know? A lot have happened, they were sooo busy and the likes, you can't really blame them for forgetting some things.

And here's lies the problem: all three of them just fucking forgot that there was a body left to bury at all.

And then it gets out that the police can't even conduct any sort of DNA test because it became corrupted to the point of being absolutely unrecognisable due to exposure to a large amount of ecto-energy.

It's now looks like a bad set up for a joke: an identifiable body of a child, cause of death unknown; the probable involvement of ghosts or at the very least a very large quantity of ecto-energy; a probable murderer on the loose, which naturally breeds suspicion and speculation; a town full of all kinds of rumours; and a trio of absolute dumbasses, who after hearing that ghosts were involved immediately went to stick their noses where they don't belong.

Rejoice, Amity Park! Sam, Danny and Tucker are now on the case! Except they are all teenagers, and nobody in their right mind will allow teenagers to solve a murder case. Plus, them poking around would be highly suspicious, but Phantom, on the other hand?

(people seeing Phantom helping solve this case and coming to the conclusion that the ghosts were definitely involved was not on their bingo card, but oh well)

They don't go to the cops, obviously: Danny at least in part because he's worried they will call GIW on his ass or try to arrest him, and Sam and Tucker simply because fuck the cops (one because the police is involved in a militaristic, capitalistic corrupted system that breeds injustice and furthers the divide between average people and the wealthy, and the other because cops suck and will probably call GIW on his friend's ass). They also can't go to any other authorities: cops are out of the question, as is the mayor; laboratory personnel will most likely just throw them out; and there're no witnesses or known relatives, so they're stuck.

Therefore they decide that desperate times need desperate measures, and so they enlist all of their ghost allies on a quest, hoping to find the ghost of the kid. Considering the amount of ecto-energy they were subjected to, they MUST have formed a ghost, they only need to find them.

Except. The Ghost Zone is a big place, and they only have so many allies, even if some of them are a queen and a god. So Danny bites the bullet and does the most stupid (debatable) thing he has ever done: he goes to his enemies for help. They're surprisingly understanding and willing to help, even if some of their reasons are a little... strange (Skulker and Johnny entered some sort of competition on who finds the ghost first, Box Ghost starts to seek out coffins (??) and Youngblood is not above to start torturing people to finally have a friend that is not either an adult or a complete stick in the mud). And even then they still can't find the ghost.

In the end Danny goes to Clockwork in a desperate hope that he will be able to glimpse at least a little of what had transpired on the night of the murder, and to Danny's annoyance Clockwork laughs so hard he almost pops a ghost equivalent of a blood vessel.

A few weeks down the line Sam hesitantly brings up Danny's buried corpse ("MY WHAT" "Your corpse which we buried in the woods, Danny, don't you remember?" "Yeah, bro, I think you dissociated the whole time we were digging the hole and carrying your dead body" "WE DID WHAT-"), reasonably saying that, you know, they ALSO technically buried a body in the woods. On that Tucker just shrugs because obviously it was not Danny's body, the place of the burial was way off, he remembers that there was a really big stone to the left of the grave (he doesn't and there wasn't), so they are in the clear. During that exchange Danny's sitting on the floor and having a panic attack, because he really did dissociate the whole time and afterwards legitimately forgot that there was a body to bury at all.

After that conversation all three of them leave with a certainty that Danny's body is still there where they left it, whenever it was. And so the shenanigans continue.

#yes i know that is custom made for some delicious angst and identity shenanigans #but also consider: this scenario would be very funny #three teenagers running around a crime scene trying to solve a murder case #and not realising they ARE said murder case #idk whether or not there would be an identity reveal down the line but if there would be one #i like to imagine vlad just sitting in his office alone afterwards head in hands #wondering WHAT he did to deserve this stupidity that went for MONTHS #like sir you did it to yourself when you decided to make a 14 years old your arch-nemesis #jazz is both horrified ('IT WAS YOUR WHAT') and exasperated ('what do you MEAN you forgot') #she's out there secretly hoping this sort of stupidity is not hereditary (in her case it kinda is lmao) #his parents are simply horrified (tho jack a few months down the line finds the whole ordeal rather funny) #the ghosts all forget about this shitshow rather quickly #except for ember youngblood kitty and johnny. they will NEVER let danny live it down. NEVER. #also danny waking up at 3am in cold sweat and remembering cw laughing his ass off: THIS MF KNEW ALL ALONG- #danny phantom #sam manson #danny fenton #tucker foley

[varilien]

it doesn’t matter how heavy your cross to bear is; you can still smile!

#trigun #trigun fanart #trigun stampede #wolfwood #nicholas d. wolfwood #screencap redraw #SAW WOOF. GOT DRUNK. MADE ART. BON APPETIT LMAO #extremely concerned about him why are your clothes so small sir explain yourself. someone feed this fishbone of a man #he did NOT have to fucking say this oh my god i already know it's gonna hurt so bad later. woof honey ur killing me #he looks sooooo skeevy and for why?? silly lil guy. lil bit unhinged. i love him he's silly. #AND MERYL SHE LOOKS SOOOOO GOOD OH MY GOD?? #milly sweetie i'm so sorry i'm so sorry you got replaced with DE NIRO FHDKJFHDKHFD #(gesturing vaguely but emphatically) i have a lot of feelings most of them pretty good actually idk what else to say lmao #mildly concerned woof is gonna turn out to be a kid purely because of the ill-fitting clothing and the LOLLIPOP #but that's just cuz i love him don't get it twisted i just want godo things for him and going through All That as NOT AN ADULT #is like. so sad actually it HURTS PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO HIM #okay that's all :) goodnight

[coquelicoq]

girl help the beautiful man at the food truck flirted with me and shook my hand with his big gorgeous hand and held on a little longer than he needed to (but in a good way) and then he gave me a free mango lassi and THEN left his food truck unattended to go get me a bottle of water after i asked if there was any water available and after all that all he wants in exchange (other than payment for the food i ordered) is for me to rate him on google maps. but girl i don't even know how to do that

#how hard can that be you may ask. well for your information he told me my smile is beautiful and he was very sweet AND #he has a gorgeous beard and voice. so. kind of distracted at the moment. #this is nice. lately the attention i've been getting from strange men is like. a guy on the bus offering me his half-eaten ice cream tube #(didn't even know ice cream came in tubes) and a guy propositioning me for $5 while i was waiting to cross the street #so for a man to give me free things & hold my hand & ask how i am doing WHILE being handsome at me was a little much all at once #i was so overwhelmed i made such a fool of myself. i almost gave him MY ADDRESS???? #get yourself together @me #anyway i guess i have to figure out how to rate places on google maps now. i didn't even know that was a thing people did #my posts #even though i know how flirting with customers works when you work in food service it does not make it any less overwhelming #to be on the receiving end of. i used to flirt with customers all the time. but i am not drop dead gorgeous so. #watch where you point that smile sir i am going to expire

[thetriggeredhappy]

I HAVE NOW 100%’ed STARDEW VALLEY

THREE TIMES.

#shut up me #i did a completionist run like years ago right and it was time consuming but i did it #then came the ginger island update. and like 80 more hours or content and so much more completionist shit #i believe i had two jobs at the time but whatever who cares. grinded it out in a few weeks #then mr conape himself said IM NOT THROUGH WITH YOU and YOU KNOW WHAT SIR #FUCK YOURSELF #HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO DO THIS OLD MAN #stardew valley #sdv #mr ape i have only one request. the ability late in the game to marry multiple spouses. that’s all i want. #i just want to be able to marry both harvey and shane. shane takes him to sports and harvey makes him eat vegetables #and i make hundreds of thousands of gold every season with my optimized sprinklers and junimo huts

[synthshenanigans]

okay but like why he covered in oil tho like what's going on

#also why does he look at the camera like it was our fault #whys he lookin at me like im the one who threw chocolate syrup at him tf did i do #you did that to yourself sir #also why #i cant even like #theorize anything #what is he doing #my best guess is BDG ig???? #sad its not cjph but i hold out hope #no idea tho #okay but why the streamers tho #did he kill a pinata before this or smth #he went from always looking sad or pissed off in videos to now always looking insane or taking insane photos #chonny jash

[cowboycannibalism]

Hannibal being sad about Will being locked up will never not be fucking hilarious

like GIRL you put him there!!!

#dude cmon #you put your boyfriend in jail and now youre staring at his empty chair like he's gone off to war #SIR YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF #hannibal lecter #hannibal #hannibal nbc #will graham

[last-flight-of-fancy]

tfw you find out that the most popular Re:CoM cutscene compilation on youtube is missing one of the most important scene’s wrt riku’s motivations

#it could be a mistake but boy if missing one of the most overtly gay bits in the game (if not the whole series) aint a bad look #'YOURE ALWAYS WORMING YOUR WAY INTO MY HEART' like sir you are gay. #you have inherited riku's gay crisis repliku im sorry #stop talking to yourself flight #kingdom hearts #tbh the biggest thing im upset about is that CoM and 358 are the two biggest ones for 'didnt play but did watch' bc of their gameplay #and its like! important context! #how many people... just dont know.....

[moongothic]

You know I realize I forgot to mention this before in the Crocodile Power Level Speculation Post/Ask (btw I did go back to edit it so it's actually legible and has a point now lmao)

I really wanna know if Croc has any new tricks with his hook

Like in Alabasta the dude had a poison hook under his regular hook, which was also hiding a tiny blade beneath it as well. This is all fine and dandy, absolutely iconic etc etc

And then we never see him reuse either feature again.

Now to be fair, the only other time we could've seen Crocodile use them would've been in Marineford, but the dude just escaped from prison. Although people are quick to meme about the Marines being 'kind enough' to let Crocodile keep his gigantic fucking hook in prison-- If we're being realistic here, they probably let him keep the base of the hook simply because without a hand any shackle would just slide off his wrist and fall off. Of course he wouldn't still be able to escape or anything since he'd still have the Seastone cuff on his right, but if they wanted to keep him properly shackled then letting him keep even just the hook base would just be the easiest option for the Marines.

It's the fact that the Marines went out of their way to retrieve his missing hook attachment and gave it back to him that's a bit wild

But let's keep in mind that Luffy did break the poison hook back in Alabasta. Even if the Marines let Croc keep the hook attachment, I find it extremely unlikely they would've gone out of their way to fix/replaced the poison hook when the guy's going to jail anyways. If anything it'd make far more sense if they got rid of whatever poison might've still been left in the base and confiscated the blade. Like there's an argument to be made for the Marines letting Crocodile keep his hook due to disability reasons, but the poison and the purely stabby weapon? Not so much

So really, it's very likely the reason Crocodile never used his other weapons in Marineford might've just been that he literally didn't have them on him at the time, just the basic hook

But hey, it's been two whole whooping years. That would be plenty of time for him to replace the broken hook and blade and get some new poison into the hook base too while he's at it

Or

Are there any new weapons Crocodile could've gotten inserted into his hook base that he could whip out

Like just because he could get a new poison hook it doesn't mean he has to get a poison hook, same for the blade as well, right

To be fair, dude feels very old fashioned so I'm not expecting any Inspector Gadget kinda tech from him. Like I don't think Crocodile's knowledgeable about stuff like that himself, at least not enough to install any technically advanced weaponry into the hook on his own, and IDK if he'd trust his hook with anyone to "upgrade it" either for an extended period of time either

But could you imagine if Croc had gotten access to a busted ass Pacifista and stole a laser and had it built into his hook base. He just pulls of the hook and starts blasting people with the laser. How fucking funny would that be. Franky eat your heart out

#Moon posting #OP Meta #Sir Crocodile #A machine gun inside his hook would also be funny as hell but. Dude can create giant sand blades what does he need a gun for #Honestly I think the coolest and unironically the most useful new hidden weapon Croc could potentially have in his hook base #Would be some kind of a Seastone weapon. Like a Seastone Hook or a blade or even just a stick like Smoker's #That shit would be so OP but also make him such a massive threat. Like much more than his poison hook ever did #It's just where the fuck would he even get a custom Seastone weapon to build in to his hook #Like it's the WG who hoards the shit for themselves so getting one would not be easy. Or cheap #Since you can't just make stuff out of Seastone yourself like you need specialists for it etc #But like I said. I think it'd be the coolest fucking thing he could possibly whip out #Aside from a Pacifista Beam but lmao that ain't happening as funny as it'd be #For the record yes it is possible Croc's hook isn't detachable at all #I just have to question how he ever changes clothes if he can't even take the hook off #Also for the record. Croc's hook could've been treated the same way his clothes were treated in Impel Down #Like Oda totally could've just drawn him without the hook and then just told us in the SBS the Newkama had stolen it from the guards #And returned it to Crocodile after he escaped since he could use it etc. While he got some fresh clothes to wear etc #Like that totally could've been an off-screen thing that could've happened. But if it was something that unimportant then why even bother #He might as well keep the hook for the brief scene in the jail cell because it doesn't actually matter for the narrative

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

idk sometimes there is a certain absolute horror to be had when you snap out of it for a brief moment to remember how abnormal it all is

#this is specifically about the experience of feeling clothing soaked with blood and realising you did that to yourself but also other things #like to the doc today i said something about 'that's normal' and he said 'it's very much not' #which. yeah i knew. i was trying to explain how it felt to me. but his point was valid #idk emotions are going weird today #personal #tw sh #and in case you're wondering no i have not harmed more than the once tonight im just. still thinking abt it #also see: the horror when you're watching for how much blood and it refuses to bleed for a time and just sits and gapes at you #yes i promise none of these have absolutely required stitches or i would get stitches. but they get by #ugly scars? sure theyd be neater stitched. but also no #imagine facing the doctor after that! 'yes sir i know i promised i wouldn't bring seirous harm to myself for these two weeks however' #puddleglum hours

[joi-in-the-tardis]

Yesterday, an older lady called me over with "sir" but when I spoke she said "oh you're a ma'am" and then there was a brief pause "or you're whatever you want to be." I told her I'll answer to anything other than "late for dinner" and we shared a laugh.

That nonbinary energy, acknowledged.

#i also had an older man tell me if i didn't push through his coupon he was going to a register with a cashier to get it fixed #his face when i told him he absolutely could do that was priceless #and will live rent free in my head forever #sir it's no skin off my nose if you make more work for yourself #only to have them tell you the same thing i just did #which is read the coupon to you 🤷‍♂️ #(i worked it out so he got the discount btw but he was still spitting mad by the time he left) #but thanks nice lady lol #joi rambles #work stuff #self-checkout stories

[eepypigeon]

what did the deck cost..?

#rewatching from the fey wild arc and like... did we ever find out what the deck of many things actually cost? #whats up with that #jrwi #jrwi spoilers #like what price did chip pay for such a magical and dangerous item fr #like wtf do you mean deal or no deal sIR- #WHAT ARE YOU #NOEL EDMONS?? #EXPLAIN YOURSELF #WHY

[theinfinitedivides]

hey does SRK giving the locker room speech during the last half hour of Chak De! India (2007) cause you to spiral into an emotional meltdown late at night or are you normal somewhat

#film: chak de india #chak de india #bollywood #local gay watches Bollywood.txt #no but you don't understand #'go. go and steal those seventy minutes from yourself. from your life. from God. from anyone that did not have faith in you. #go and steal your seventy minutes.' #i usually have a rule of thumb when it comes to my consumption of the Bollywood industry #and that is to never thank Salman Khan for anything #but i am making an exception here #ty Salman Khan for turning down this role so i could sit here and say that it has been added #to the ever growing list of things that chemically altered my brain #Shah Rukh said this for me #he came out here in 2007 and said this for me after giving this role a second chance bc he knew #he knew!!! #all the way in 2022 i would need to hear this #crying and shaking rn sir iconic performance

[faithinlouisfuture]

thinking thoughts (x)

#I was hoping someone sane would post this so I’d just have to reblog with cursed tags but no one did so here you go #when inanimate objects are living your dream #sir please #detach yourself #you’re in public! #Taormina #louis and his mic #currently googling: how to turn into a mic?

[my-name-is-daniel-yes]

.

#sometimes i think about the fact my dad raised me to be cautious of my surroundings... #by constantly showing me videos of people falling through the gears of broken escalators #or people getting run over by cars. i still vividly remember the motorcycle bouncing on someone's head video #or elevators dropping all of a sudden #and just many. many videos of people getting into accidents. while i was like. 8 #and he wonders why im so afraid of these things. sir you are the one who raised me and call yourself a good father #i still don't understand why he did that other than his thinking of 'the only way you can learn is through fear'