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#a part of me still believes

homielander · 1 year

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like yeah of course tom thinks shiv is a scorpion because he doesn't know she compromised her position and sacrificed her brother so he wouldn't go to prison. he doesn't know she refused to divulge any information about cruises to gil in season 1 before she was certain tom would walk away unscathed. he doesn't know she shut down her brothers' offer to fire him, doesn't know she ensured he'd have a place in the company post-acquisition, doesn't know that the first time she indelicately interrogated matsson about whether she'd have any power and influence at waystar gojo was literally immediately after matsson brought up the idea of firing tom. and it's her fault he doesn't know that she's protected him at nearly every turn because she won't tell him. and it's looking more likely with every passing episode that he'll never know 😔🔫

#ALSO. i just remembered that he still thinks shiv ratted about the press conference to gerri. lol!!!#tomshiv #tom wambsgans #shiv roy #succession #so glad shiv brought up that HE offered to go to prison cuz ive been saying that.....#like dude u expect ur emotionally unavailable wife to protest the idea of u going to jail when youve just told her it's logistically sound #well yes okay that's reasonable #screams #succession spoilers #EDIT i do not know why anyone is interpreting this post as me blaming tom. what part of 'he doesn't know' did you guys miss #not that he is blameless in the marriage obviously but i think it makes sense that he doesn't believe shiv even cares about him

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elsewhereuniversity · 2 months

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hey everyone! very very sorry for the radio silence from the archivist - my partner and I have been busy purchasing a boat (!!!) and it hasn't left me much time for anything else. now our seasonal work is picking up, so unfortunately it's likely that elsewhere u will remain on hiatus for a few months more. I will be back when I have the time, but I wanted to let you all know I'm alright, as I've gotten a few very sweet concerned messages. thanks so much for understandings, and to those who checked in with me! <3

#the hardest part of Owning a Business is honestly the social media posting #believe it or not 13 years on tumblr has not exactly left me primed to appeal to the general public #still very excited #all the same elsewhere is dear to me and i can't wait to get back to it when time allows

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cactuslester · 3 months

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i don't know how to explain it but something about phil's tone and inflection when he says "oh a 'misunderstanding' — they started shouting at you" just sounds so married like i know this entire video already is them being married for 20 minutes but i'm just obsessed with how phil says it in this clip like can anyone hear me do you get what im saying

#they're husbands #what more can i say #dnp #video #txt #phan #<- im still doing my part to get this tag back in the top 100 of 2024 believe you me

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inkskinned · 2 years

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oh, i am so enamored with the way the lesson of the velveteen rabbit rings true in our modern life. i love that we name our spaceships and write love poems to old buildings. i love that we all cried about the mars rover, that we made her so real that she was no longer a machine but a friend, a companion, a hero.

i love that we become attached to certain mugs, spoons, mason jars. that we develop a strange protective love-hate of our tablets, that we feel weirdly reverent about our new notebook. we name our cars silly things like the crab shack and call our favorite whisk attachment the one great destroyer.

there's a dog statue at my local park that has a golden back and golden head from how often people have pet it. at my college campus, people love an ugly little pointless sculpture we call bacon pants or bacon legs. we assign personalities to fountains, parks, laptops.

i love that our basic instinct is to include others in our community, even where there isn't a real community to speak of. that we love things, even when they cannot physically love us back - for us, the exchange isn't what's important. we give our heart to things so entirely that the thing begins to, in its own way, have its own heart.

the last transmission from the mars rover was not words; it was data. nevertheless, someone translated for her. my battery is low and it's getting dark. they made her last words a poem. they looked at data and saw a soul, a divine spark.

i keep thinking about the first AI born truly free-thinking. i keep thinking about the way scientists and artists talk about their work. how their eyes light up and their hands start moving, how even when they're flat broke and confused and the coding isn't working - there's this love of the thing. i keep thinking that whatever is being born into this new world will be born here on purpose, over a long time, with great energy. that when it arrives, the first thing it will know is most likely the hands of a creator delighted, overcome.

that we made it in our image. that the image we wrote was one of human compassion within ingenuity. that we couldn't make this thing without it being a labor of real-and-true: love.

#okay yes we can have a marxist conversation about how it's dangerous to make the commodity #into a token of love or affection #or how the first truly free-thinking AI will likely be the result of a megacorporation and therefore not have #like the BEST humans behind it #but let me for a minute believe -#even the stoic among us have worked on something #for long hard hours #and in that working #didnt you kind of learn to love it? at least a little if not completely?#and when it was over - it was YOURS #and it having been the result of your blood sweat tears unpaid hours and no leave #still; you know - you MADE something #and that changes how u see it #bc a part of u will have to live in it #..... and from that.... how can we see ourselves #and not love? and not care?#it will come into a world where its god-creator will HAVE to be there #and that moment ....... won't it of course be one of joy? how could it not be?#both machine & man in that moment making a strange and new discovery

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tuliptic · 1 year

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"You're the death of me," they said. But why? And how?

Piles go from left to right, photos are taken by me, everything is literally by me. And I do not consent my work being used by third parties in other websites as well.

Now. Breathe in with me, and then breathe out. Picked your pile? Let's find out what are the answers

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it.

Content warning: Sexual topics mentioned briefly without much details. Just to let y’all know beforehand.

Decks used: Luna Cat Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Kawaii Tarot Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck, self made decks.

Pile 1:

With The Emperor being the overall energy in this pile, what I’m seeing here is some self demanding, where you have high expectations of yourself, and others as well at times. You have your idea of how you hold your destiny, and you often expect the same of others, probably why you may feel weird that people are not willing to improve or why would you have an FS and all those questions. Change is also very prominent here, where you live for changes, and changes often come to you. What I’m mainly feeling here is a soulmate relationship (there’s The World and The Lover) coming out for you in other places and… Yeah, just take it as you see fit. Cuz with all the questions you have about yourself and others, your FS is still head over heels, madly thinking about you all time.

Emotional attraction: Three of Cups rx

Pfft for some feeling, your FS might want to start a fling with you, something short, something not so serious. But oh how the tables have turned, cuz seeing you with how you’re not someone to mess with may make them want to have you. It’s the cliche “I can fix him” trope, except you have no intention of fixing anyone. It’s just they’re learning from you about the ways of life and have been slowly seriously attracted by you. And they change. There’s a Death card in the entire reading and it symbolizes the dying of old ways and embracing the new ways. The catalyst? It’s you. They’re changing for the better because of you as they wanted to be the right one to be by your side, to be someone you’re willing to show off.

Emotional addiction: Eight of Cups rx

And now we come to this card. Do y’all know one of the messages for this card is fear of change? There we go! There’s a lot of fear in your FS, but that somehow gets them more addicted to you. Fear of you leaving, fear of being left behind in terms of work progress or status in life, and many other more fears. You never wanted him to feel those emotions, but they just… Sorta has it. Prolly cuz of the trauma they experienced when they were younger. But all these fears just made them want to be better, pushed them to be better to be your equal. No, not masochistic tendencies but just… You. It’s all because it’s you and they want to achieve what you’ve achieved, so that you can look into their eyes and say “I noticed you, I saw you, I’m looking at you now.” kinda thing.

Physical attraction: The Fool rx

This pile is starting to make more and more sense cuz The Fool in reverse gives me the feeling of maturity, as it’s the opposite of a fun and new beginning. You prolly have had a lot going through in your life, specifically school, career or family. Hence, there’s this old soul kinda vibe in you, where you may unconsciously present the more mature side of you. You may be young, yes, but people tend to say you look older than your age because of how your eyes focus on things, how your thoughts have formed you to be who you show to the outer world. Which was probably what made them want to have a fling with you because they wanted to see what it’s like beneath that hard shell.

Mental stimulation: Six of Cups rx

Honestly speaking, at this point I’m already tired of talking about mental maturity here but still the cards are telling me that. As your FS gets to know you more, they noticed that you’re working on yourself more and that you’re resolving any childhood issues, any traumas that have made you who you are today. While you appreciate being the strong you right now, wounds still need to be healed. This part of it just makes them amazed. They’ve prolly never needed to go through this and don't know the difficulties in healing your inner child. But they are willing to learn. They wanted to know more about you, about how amazing you’ve flourished, and they fall in love with you again and again.

Other forms of addiction: Knight of Swords rx

-Covers face in agony- ‘Aite let’s get back in. Your FS prolly has a tendency of annoying you just to hear whatever sarcasm or witty words you’ll be throwing back at him. I swear to god I don’t think they have a masochistic personality but the cards seem to tell me otherwise. ANYWAYS. Back to what we’re talking about here. They prolly like how you (lightly) hit them when they said something annoying or cheesy, since you’re prolly not very used to them. Or maybe they teased you a lot, thinking you didn’t know what they’re talking about, while you understood every single word and retorted back in the same way/language.

Remember what I said earlier in the first paragraph? About this being a soulmate relationship? Yeah. There may be fights and disagreements in life, but y’all know how to resolve it instead of sweeping it under the carpet. You both understand the importance of connecting with each other and that’s one thing that’s very telling. You two attracted each other into your lives and you slowly let go of whatever self criticism you have.

Ooh, one thing I need to share with you is that they like you, they love you a lot. They may act all nonchalant or fun and cheesy, but deep down in their hearts they’re really REALLY madly in love with you. They want you to hug them and to love them, just like how much they love you, just like how much their life depends on you showering them with the love they crave for. They are your other half, and y’all need to explore the ways of balancing the relationship because the past may be a ‘lil rocky.

Pile 2:

The overall energy of this pile is hella intense. When the two cards fell out, I wanted to take only one but then upon looking at them, yeah they're gonna be a pair, cuz it's The Tower and The Devil. Personally I feel that there's no black and white in the energy present here. It's just, intense. No it's not all over the place, it's just at a place and it's building its strength there.

I'm trying to keep this PG 13 but not gonna lie, it does give me a huge sexual energy between the both of you. No one should be judging you on that, not even yourself. Some may be easily sexually attracted to other people so yeah.

Emotional attraction: The Chariot rx

They like how things build up, letting the pining and tension between you two simmer. Or maybe how you’ve put a distance between you and them, only allowing them to slowly approach you. They like the pursuit, the chase, the patience and strategic planning to approach you. It's like... Extending the sexual tension in between you two. Yes it's there but instead of raving and rushing through it, it's gonna be like... Let it level up slowly until you're madly in love with them, until you can't think of anyone else other than them.

Emotional addiction: Eight of Pentacles

They get hooked onto you by seeing how you've been working on yourself, how you've been wanting to master a particular skill, or multiple skills. I'm not surprised if this pile is learning a lot of things and wants to get good at it. Them seeing you getting better at saying the corniest pick up line just makes them fall for you even more. The way you focus on getting your shit done? Perfect. It'll make them torn cuz they want you to do your best and yet they also wanna kiss you and tell you that you're amazing. Honestly speaking, having both is possible you'll need to tell them that.

Physical attraction: Page of Swords

There's this youthful look/glow that you have. It's not gonna be about the appearance but the energy you give out. Probably have air influence in your rising sign (signs, degrees, Mercury, Venus or Uranus conjuncting your AC). There's this liveliness that you expressed when they first noticed about you, and that constantly be one thing they looked for in you. They love the air energy of yours and will get worried if you're not as upbeat as you were, or not as witty as you used to be. For some reason, the way you send text may also say something about it? Do you use a lot of emojis in your text? That too.

Mental stimulation: Six of Pentacles rx

Shrewd with your words. You're actually someone who's really smart and has a lot of concrete knowledge. Instead of the air type of intelligence, where one knows a lot of things and random knowledge, your sort of intelligence is something that you've learnt throughout the years, through your pains and tears. Those are what we're talking about here. And it's gonna take a lot of probing and coaxing from their side to get to know you better. You're the exact opposite of an open book; you're a sealed book. And guess what? They have the magic key to unseal you. You trust them and are willing to share about yourself, but those were already ingrained and you, to the point you don't know how to tell your story, which part of the plot to focus on and all. And this is what stimulates them the most.

Other forms of addiction: Two of Pentacles

For some reason, this balance over here is giving me peak Libra energy, of wanting things to be fair and square. Yess boo I'm looking at you. Instead of talking about addiction, it's more of how they're attracted to your need to have things in balance, and want things to be fair, equal give and take, especially in terms of money. It's giving me the feeling of gift gifting, where you match the same with your FS.

Another thing I'm picking up on is that you tend to have great guts or intuition on certain things with people around you, for people around you. But not towards yourself. It's time to trust your feelings cuz there will be a lot of downloads from the universe coming to you, and you're called to accept the changes coming your way because that's what your FS is bringing every single day. If you're single, it's time to manifest your dreams, desires and goals.

You activated so many potentials in your FS, expanded the view they have towards the world. This partnership that you two share holds a lot more meaning that you could never think of. Juno is significant here too so you may check your Juno sign in astrology.

Also, don't hide things from your FS because you think it's too much for them. They rather two to share the burden instead of you shouldering everything. You guys will share a lovely marriage together, so please let your thoughts out and share them together. They're prolly insecure as well, and they are head over heels with you cuz you're always in their head, making them unable to think of anything else. You're literally the death of them.

Pile 3:

The overall energy that you give your FS is that you’re not one to be messed with, that you have this air of regality over you, and you’re sitting in your throne, knowing what you want and what you work for. You steer your way through the sea of life, no matter how hard and harsh the waves may be. These all made your FS head over heels for you, cuz the confidence you have is different from the atrocities others have.

Emotional attraction: Wheel of Fortune

This card appeared twice in the entire spread and I really like to think that this is a fated connection, something that’s like soulmate. They’re somehow attracted to you upon meeting you or interacting with you, and slowly but surely, they fell for you. Sounds cliche, but that’s what the cards say, not me. Also, instead of saying it’s purely fate, I strongly believe that you’ve been working on yourself and your FS sees that. Whatever effort you’ve put in working with yourself is seen. They see it and acknowledge it, appreciating how you’ve strived to make yourself a better person.

Emotional addiction: Nine of Pentacles rx

Somehow somewhat, there’s this sense that they like how you’re not independent at times. You’re sitting on your throne, having everything and anything you want. Yet sometimes, you just want to act spoiled and lean on someone while not giving a shit with the responsibilities in life. They like how you trust them to the point you let your shield down with them, allowing them to see your most vulnerable side and letting them pamper you. With this, it makes it seem that they have a reason to stay by your side, although they know very well that the entire relationship is balanced.

Physical attraction: Six of Pentacles

The way you’re generous with the people in need, the people you care for, and most importantly, generous with yourself. It’s very obvious in how you care for people, and there may be a chance that one of your love languages is gift giving. But yeah, that is something that caught their attention, especially when you spend money to "decorate" yourself, and people also do the same for you because you helped them too. Something here gives me the feeling that some of you may like having inks on you, or have the habit of writing things/reminders on your hands. Man imagine you writing something on your hand and your FS just takes your hand over in theirs to see what you've written. That just happened in my head okay.

Mental stimulation: Page of Wands

Creativity is something that links you both together. You both have some artistic traits that you two interrelate. For some reason, I thought of one composing music for a poem the other wrote, or one drawing a comic for a fic the other wrote. You both like to keep things fresh and explore various topics, and they enjoy their time with you a whole lot cuz it's never boring or dull with you. There's also a touch of youth here where they feel like they're constantly learning new things about the world, learning new things about your interests, and most of all, learning new things about you. There are so many layers to you and they'd love to understand you and get to know you more.

Other forms of addiction: Four of Cups rx

Once again, instead of saying there's addiction, I feel that this card here tells that you've freed them from their stagnation, from whatever they've been holding in the past, and all they focus on right now is to see how they can move forward with you in the future. Just a scenario to explain this: They may have had a crush in the past and it's just difficult to move past. But then you appeared and slowly replaced the crush he had on the other person, and now they're focusing on you, with every intention to grow with you instead of standing in the same place. It's as though their eyes are now opened and they know what they want to focus on, and they work on it.

The theme of stagnancy is pretty prominent in this reading, and it's highly cuz of you. This is something very different from what I've written above cuz this is definitely you. You've been unwilling to get out of your shell, only wanting to stay in your mind. And at times, this trait of yours makes them want to shake those thoughts out of your head. High possibilities that you may feel yourself are unworthy of love and think that no person that charming and attractive will be romantically interested in you.

This is your calling to surrender the self-limiting beliefs and to welcome the new magic into your life. It's difficult, yeah, but baby steps. I believe this community is with you to celebrate every little success you've achieved. Time to put this coping mechanism of not wanting to feel disappointment and rewire the thoughts that failure is never a disappointment. We're all just small beings in life so what's wrong in falling a little? You're not gonna be like Evergreen being stuck at the Suez Canal anyways.

By surrendering the old past, only you will be awakened and will be reborn into limitless possibilities, heck, even things you've never been able to imagine. Your guides are watching over you and have wanted to work with you, to show you the miracles of life, to show you how wonderful the world can be, how abundant in blessings and support you are.

There are times that your FS may wanna confront you and your toxic behaviours and you may question if you were meant to be together. But know that even the best team out there takes time to work together. That's the same with you both, where you two are the strongest combination you'll ever have to venture into a future together. You're their first and their last, and they wanna hold your hand and dance with you. Don't think lowly of yourself, you can't imagine how lonely they feel without you by their side and how much they want your presence.

You may not see it now, but you're a butterfly. When the time comes, you will be reborn again and transformed anew.

#tuliptic #🌷#pick a card #pick a pile #future spouse reading #tarot #tarot reading #i cant believe im doing this already #like.... tagging to get exposure #but eh theres this side of me where i still type my thoughts in tags #anyways #pile 1's fs legit reminded me of jung wooyoung #dont ask me why #I'll tell you why #my brain went to the part where he was at the beach and he yelled #'YOU GONNA SPANK ME??'#and boooyyyyyyyyy i wanna push you into the waters

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viperwhispered · 11 days

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Too Fast

Part 4 of Jamil versus feelings (aka How Not to Be Swept Under, aka the Too Much series). Let's see how Jamil's plan of action pans out. Part 1, part 2, part 3.

Jamil had a plan.

He already knew he could make you smile, even laugh. That you sought out his company - and not just to sample his cooking (or Kalim’s generosity). Like that time when Jamil had helped you with your homework - considering how little you needed the help, it seemed to have been an excuse on both your sides to just spend time with each other.

Jamil knew the foods that would bring that delighted sparkle to your eye, knew when to step in before you were overwhelmed. You often shared any news with Jamil, filling him in the little happenings of your life - and had gotten him to do the same with you, too. He’d listened to you reminisce about your childhood and your home, even knew a few embarrassing secrets you’d revealed over the course of your conversations.

In short, it was clear that you had some degree of fondness for him.

However, Jamil had yet to ascertain the exact nature of how you felt about him.

But he was certain he could pull it out of you. Nudge you to act, to talk, so that he could gather those signs to tell him if you were open for more.

He’d see if you truly didn’t speak to others the same way you did to him. If you truly didn’t give others that look which always made things so difficult for him.

There had been those times when you had blushed in Jamil’s presence. You’d flustered, stuttered, restless fingers showing your nervousness.

But Jamil needed to make sure if it was because of him, or just the situations you’d been in.

Jamil had recognized the things you were doing, how you kept on getting closer to him.

But he needed to know if it all was enough for what he wanted with you.

And if not… Well. Perhaps there was something to be done about that. Given enough time, enough attention…

He could be a listening ear, a supporting presence, get to know you further, if he needed to.

Yes, he wanted you to be his sooner rather than later, but if he had to wait and work for it, he would.

After all, it was not like him to ruin such things with haste.

When Jamil’s phone buzzed, he pulled it out without even thinking about it.

Before, he always dreaded it, his phone typically only coming to life when Kalim needed something or there was another crisis to deal with.

Yet, nowadays, there was always the hope of it being you.

Jamil hefted his gym bag over his shoulder and unlocked his phone. The basketball club had run late today, and he needed to hurry back to Scarabia - but not before checking the message.

Thankfully, you were indeed the sender.

Hey, wanna go out to the town sometime? Cater told me there’s a nice cafe that opened recently.

Another message popped in before Jamil could finish reading the first.

Like, go out as a date.

The phone slipped from Jamil’s grip, landing on the locker room bench with a thud.

“Hey, Jamil, what’s got you so clumsy?” Ace said, peering at Jamil with a teasing grin.

Jamil cursed himself internally, quickly hiding your messages from view. Normally, he would’ve been walking across campus at this time, perhaps at the dorm already, rather than under the watchful eyes of his clubmates.

But, of course, not today.

“Just fumbled,” Jamil said, struggling to school his expression back to neutral.

“You sure about that? You’re looking awfully flustered,” Ace snickered.

“Ooo, is Sea Snake getting some exciting messages?” Floyd asked, looming closer.

Jamil gave both of them a sharp glare - the effect perhaps hampered by his flushed complexion. He really did not need Floyd and Ace’s antics on top of this bombshell right now.

“Must be the effects of the practice,” Jamil said with a tone of finality.

Not that that seemed to deter the two, now that they’d gotten a taste of blood in the water.

Rather than bickering with them further Jamil grabbed his things and hurried off. He almost expected Floyd to chase after him, even half-dressed as Floyd still was, but thankfully the eel did not seem to be in that much of an inquisitive mood today.

Small blessings.

Jamil was barely aware of his surroundings as he walked, his heart beating a more frantic rhythm than it had during the practice.

How was he supposed to respond to you?

He had not even done anything as he planned, and you already…

Jamil shook his head, tried to keep himself together despite the turmoil your little messages had thrown him into.

Sure, he had intended to push you to act, to reveal the nature of your feelings.

Yet that had left Jamil woefully unprepared for this.

Jamil stared at his phone again, barely remembering to blink or breathe, nearly colliding head-first with some other students.

Finally, he typed out a message.

Are you serious?

Your reply was almost immediate.

Yes

Jamil fidgeted with the strings of his hood, watching the little bubble that told him you were still typing.

Sorry for being a coward and not asking in person.

If you don't feel the same way we can just pretend this never happened.

Oh how Jamil wished he could see your expression right now, could talk to you in person, get to the bottom of this.

Or would it be better to respond to you in text, without worries of stumbling over his words, or getting caught in your eyes like a deer in headlights?

Jamil started writing a reply, frowned and erased it, began to compose another.

He took a deep breath, briefly lifting his eyes from the phone to check where he was going.

What did he have planned for today, anyway? How much time could he clear for you?

Mind abuzz with plans, Jamil tried again.

Can I come over later? I’ll bring something to eat.

I’d rather talk this over in private first, if that’s okay with you.

A few more messages, setting the time, assuring you that he was not opposed to your proposal. Then Jamil shoved the phone into his pocket, reviewing his options.

He’d make something quick for Kalim’s dinner while preparing something to share with you. (What could he make with the time and ingredients he had that you really liked? What about dessert? He knew how much you enjoyed sweets, after all.)

Kalim had no homework deadlines or quizzes tomorrow, and Jamil’s own schoolwork schedule had room for adjustment, as well. They could catch up later. (He’d have to make sure he looked impeccable. Would flowers be too much? Would he have the time to visit Sam’s for them?)

Jamil might have to get up a little early tomorrow for a few things, but he’d deal with that tomorrow. (What if you’d let him stay late? How close would you let him tonight? Would you let him hold you? Maybe even kiss you?)

When Jamil realized that he was standing in front of Sam’s shop instead of the mirror to Scarabia, he simply stared at the storefront for a moment, uncomprehending.

Then Jamil shook his head, frowning.

He’d have to focus, keep his mind on target. He couldn’t afford to mess this up.

Yet, despite his best efforts, Jamil salted the food twice, having to scramble to fix the flavor. When he left Scarabia he nearly left behind the small package he’d picked up at Sam’s, forced to turn back to retrieve.

And when he walked over to your dorm, Jamil had to consciously tell himself to slow down, lest he’d appear too frazzled by the time he made it.

Mentally, Jamil berated himself. Get a grip! After everything Kalim has thrown your way, you can definitely handle this.

Yet, Jamil still had to steel himself before he rapped on your door.

Jamil’s greeting nearly caught in his throat when he saw you.

He could see the effort you’d put in, dressing up a little, yet more than that it was all those emotions swirling on your features that took his breath away. The nervous excitement which had you fidget in place, the radiance in your smile, the way your eyes seemed to drink him in…

Jamil cleared his throat, determined to not drown in you.

“Thank you for accepting me on such short notice,” Jamil said, handing you a small, neatly wrapped box.

With a thrilling sense of satisfaction Jamil noted the way your eyes widened, how your voice wavered when you invited him in. How you smiled when you found out what he had picked out for you, the gift clearly finding its mark.

Still, you were both stepping around each other, following the scripts of a regular visit when this felt like anything but.

Jamil took out the food he’d made, insisted he’d help you with setting the table despite your protests.

It was an awkward dance, both of you trying to regain your footing.

“I just… feel like I have to say it,” you finally said as you were setting out the food. “That I like you. A lot. So…”

The way you spoke, pouring out your feelings, hesitant and nervous as you were…

Yes, Jamil had wanted to talk this over in person, had wanted to see and hear you say it. Still, now he had just as much trouble meeting your eyes as you had, both of you busying yourselves with the tableware.

You were so nervous, and Jamil felt the urge to pull you close and chase away all your worries.

But he would not push.

Not when he had his hands full keeping his own self under control.

A part of him couldn’t help but feel like he’d deceived you, somehow, for you to hold him in such regard.

And when the silence lingered… What could he even say?

Jamil had thought of it, sure, imagined how you’d react to his words… But at this moment nothing would rise to his tongue, all the carefully picked words gone from his mind.

Jamil took your hand, holding it in between both of his. He spoke your name, oh so softly, his voice cracking under the weight of it.

Hearing himself made Jamil cringe, yet he pushed on.

“I’m… I am glad to know we both want the same. That we feel the same.”

For a brief moment, Jamil hesitated. Then he raised your hand to his lips, softly kissing your knuckles. His eyes flicked to yours, full of those feelings that threatened to sweep him under.

Just him being here with you like this… It told you enough, didn’t it?

Your blush certainly seemed to suggest so.

Jamil would make sure to cause your cheeks to burn brighter. Later.

Once his own face stopped feeling like a hot plate under the sun.

* * *

Later, you sat side by side on the couch, Jamil’s arm wrapped around your shoulders and your head resting against him.

You’d hardly stopped smiling the whole evening, and Jamil could feel the hurt in his own cheeks.

It was strange, giving into those urges Jamil had been doing his best to hold back all this time.

Still, he had to admit that it was easier trying to move with the current rather than fighting against it.

Yes, the looks you gave him were still overwhelming, your words - and touch - sending his heart aflutter almost painfully.

When you sang his praises, looking at him like your happiness depended on him… It really was just a tidal wave, one far too large for Jamil to withstand.

Yet, finally, Jamil was beginning to allow himself to enjoy it all.

These things - your sweetness, your warmth - were only for him, after all. A heady thought, something that made him greedy for even more despite the overwhelming nature of it all.

Of course, Jamil still didn’t want to overstep.

Truthfully, he himself wasn’t ready for some of the scenarios tugging at the back of his mind.

With the wisdom of hindsight it seemed that you had always been ahead of Jamil, more aware of your feelings than he was of his.

Perhaps even more aware of his feelings than Jamil had been, considering how you’d pursued him - because that was what you had been doing, all this time.

Even if Jamil himself had been too busy contending with his own thoughts to truly see it.

Still, it was difficult even for Jamil to worry about such things with your warmth pressed against his side. Jamil played with your hair, let himself just soak up your presence.

And in that sweet moment Jamil finally stopped fighting, at least for a moment. He let go of his plans, his resistance, and allowed himself to be swept up by you.

Indeed, it hardly felt like he had a choice in the matter.

ETA: you can find the final / 5th part of this series here. This sure stayed in my drafts longer than I thought it would, but here we are. There’s still one more part coming and then we’ll be reaching the end of this particular journey. If you'd like to be tagged in my future works, do let me know! Jamil: alright I need to make sure they want to be with me and then I can move forward Reader: I’ve been trying to get with you for a while now and I can’t wait any longer or Jamil: I gotta gain control over this situation Reader: surprise :)

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #jamil viper #jamil viper x reader #ner writes #I’m definitely not enjoying making Jamil suffer & squirm a bit more #not at all 😇#I’m still choosing to believe that for all he’s prepared to deal with feelings sure isn’t one of those things #but maybe I’m underselling his repression capabilities? but in any case I want to see him flustered and out of his depth so...#could I flesh out the details in this infinitely? quite possibly #do I just want to get this posted at this point? absolutely #hope y'all enjoy this part as well!#eta: I keep on coming back to this and finding new parts having the wrong font in the notes >:(#annoying #tumblr pls just let me have this

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fortes-fortuna-iogurtum · 1 year

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I've been reading Exodus lately and I've just gotten to the portions where God gives the first commands to the people via Moses (twice), and then goes on to give detailed instructions about the tabernacle and how it should be built, and I'm just... we think art is unimportant?? we think things only mean as much as their functionality?? we so easily fall into the trap of believing that beauty means nothing, that it's cheap and only worth whatever mindless distraction it brings, that it's barely more than a cheap sensual thrill, that buildings should just be practical and plain and cheap, that everything should be functional but ultimately disposable, that paintings and dresses and mugs and curtains and carpets are just pretty but have no real value, that beauty is fleeting and vain and therefore shouldn't be thought about too much, if even looked for at all... we fall into these traps so easily, and we forget that there are chapters upon chapters of painstakingly detailed plans to build one portable worship tent, and those plans have been handed down through thousands of years of human history, because beauty and art and skill in craft is important