#a very informal study log but still

[languagelvlup]

Got these 3 manga in November and then didn't look at them for 4 months. Finally got to starting on とんがり帽子のアトリエ today. It's cute so far! I got 34 pages in and feel confident I can keep up a pace of 30 pages per day.

#study log #a very informal study log but still #japanese #manga #japanese langblr

[neteyamsyawntu]

Kinkmas Day 12

K u r u P l a y

Teylan x Human!Reader

Warnings: 🔞MINORS DNI🔞, Slight corruption, hypersensitivity, Teylan being a little subby baby, dom!reader, grinding, interspecies relationship, size difference,

‼️Potential spoilers for Avatar:Frontiers of Pandora‼️

You had only recently escaped the RDA, having been a botanist on the western frontier at one of the drilling sites. You were mortified with what the RDA was doing to Pandora and its effect on its inhabitants. Luckily enough you were out in the field researching when the site was attacked by the resistance.

It wasn’t long before you found your way to the resistance with that of a guiding hand from one of the long lost Sarentu warriors, and while most of the members of the resistance welcomed you in, a particular member of the remaining Sarentu was almost as curious about you as you were about him, even offering to show you around HQ. He had so many  questions about you and your work, especially the technology you used that he found himself getting side tracked with the tour. 

“S-sorry I’m getting carried away aren’t I?” Teylan said in a soft voice, fiddling with a broken radio that was strapped to his chest, bowing his head slightly, clear embarrassment in his features. “Haha, it’s alright, Teylan. Really I don’t mind the questions.” You muse enthusiastically, instinctively grasping his free hand to grab his attention, which you achieved much faster than you had thought. His tail quickly rose to attention then began swaying back and forth wildly, eyes wide as his shocked expression turns into a tooth grin. “Really? Well if you’re sure do you mind if we sit? I have so many more questions to ask.”.

 You can’t help, but smile wider as he gently takes your hand, guiding you to sit on one of the soft pillows in the living quarters, sitting beside you with large and eager eyes, “Sure, but under the condition that I can ask you some questions as well.”. He almost reminded you of a puppy with how passionate and excited he got when you began to explain about the tablet you used to scan, log, and store information on the plants you studied. He was so cute, so eager to learn. It seemed very evident that Teylan was the odd one compared to the other members of his small clan, wearing more human apparel and taking interest in their tech, while the others focused on finding themselves and their past culture, yet even as you spoke to him, you couldn’t help, but trace his beautiful stripes with your eyes. 

He wasn’t treating you like the little human you knew you were, he was just interested to know of your studies, yet you couldn’t wipe away the idea that he was still nearly 10ft tall. 

“Do you mind if I see your hand again?” You ask a little timidly holding out your much smaller one for him to place his into. Again his ears perk and eyes go wide as his eyes study your hand for a brief moment, the smile that had been on his face the entire time twitching a little bit, “My hand? Sure.”. As Teylan places his hand into yours, palm up, you immediately feel the weight of it, unconsciously bringing your other hand to support it. Your eyes light up as he feel the texture of his hands, “They’re so soft.” You whisper under your breath, giving his hand a gentle squeeze in your own, of what you could fit, making a mental note that it was probably due to living in a classroom all his life, not having to fight for survival and overuse them, You hadn’t even realized you had spoken aloud until Teylan chimed in with a, “Oh- uh thank you, yours are soft too.”.

You are suddenly brought out of your thoughts by the voice, now kicking yourself for being so careless as color rises to your cheeks. “Sorry I didn’t mean to say that out loud.” You laugh a bit nervously, now avoiding eye contact with the na’vi, “It is alright.. I don’t mind if that was your concern.” He reassures you, his tail tapping happily against the pillows beside him. You can’t help, but smile at his body language, releasing a soft giggle as you continue to examine his body, your hand and eyes trialing up his arms, admiring the striped pattern of his skin, not failing to notice the shiver that runs through his body as you run a finger along one of the stripes of his bicep, a small muffled noise coming from his throat.

“Are you alright, Teylan?” You ask looking up at him with a mix of concern and intrigue, “Yes… just a tickle.. that’s all.” He responds is a quick mumbling of words. You simply nod and go back to your thoughts. Of course there were parts of the na’vi that were similar to humans, but the parts that weren’t were so fascinating. The part you feel you envied most was his neural queue. To have the ability to connect with any living organism around the world was almost mind boggling. “Do you mind if I ask a bit of a personal question?” You ask lowering his hand a bit to rest it against your thigh as you continue to hold it in your grasp, “Not at all, ask away!”, “Your neural queue… what is it like? Having one I mean, like being able to connect with everything?”. 

Teylan’s brows crease a bit as he contemplates this for a moment and then shrugs, “It is odd… a little scary if I’m being honest, I’ve only ever really connected to Eywa through the Tarsyu, but I don’t do it very often.” You silently nod in understanding as your thumb absentmindedly caresses over the palm of his hand, sending another tingle through his body, “Erm.. would you like to look at it?” He asks perking his ears up, his enthusiasm being more than contagious, agreeing to him without an argument. You can’t help but notice the small blush on his face as he pull the long and thick braid over his shoulder, holding it gently in his hand, presenting it to you. 

Immediately Teylan has your full attention as he flips the end of his braid up to reveal the pinkish-purple tendrils that swirl and tangle on themselves in the air, waiting for something to grasp onto. “Woah…” you hums in fascination, slowly leaning closer to get a better look at them. “So… what do you think? Is it… weird to see up close?” Teylan asks somewhat hesitantly, coaxing you to instantly switch your gaze to his, offering him a soft smile, “Not at all! I think it’s incredible. It’s actually kind of pretty.” 

Again the color on Teylan’s cheeks seem to darken as you move slightly closer, “Do you mind if I touch it? Just the braid, I promise I won’t touch the tendrils.”. You can hear Teylan audibly gulp with a nod and adjust his position slightly to hold his kuru out a tad closer to you. Time seems to still as you extend your petite hand up toward his braid, you wanted to be as delicate as possible with such an intimate part of his body. Your heart was pounding in your chest as your fingers extend to delicately caress the thick braid of his kuru. The moment your fingertips brush the dark hairs, a slightly broken gasp forced you to retract your fingers, looking up at Teylan’s flushed face with concern, “I- I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you.”, “No! No it… it didn’t hurt. I was just a little surprised, no one has ever touched it before, but me.”. 

A warm smile crossed your features as you nod, placing your other hand in his own, “Here you can squeeze my hand if it becomes too much… just don’t break it ok?” You chuckle a little awkwardly, but it seems to put his mind at ease as she allows you to continue with a second attempt. Again his body stiffens as your fingers make contact with the braid, a shaky exhale leaving his body, closing his eyes as a means to concentrate on something. You watch his body language closely adding his mannerisms and reactions to a place in your brain to write down and analyze later. Of course your specialty was in plant-life, but the na’vi were such fascinating beings. 

“I’m going to move my hand downward, ok?” You state, wanting to make sure you didn't catch him off guard or do anything to make him uncomfortable. With a slightly breathy “O-ok.” You take your granted permission as gently drag your hand down the length of his kuru. Teylan’s ears immediately flatten against his head, his non-existent brows rising and lips parting to allow a faint whimper to escape him. The sound of his tail batting against the pillows more roughly catches your attention as you shift your hand further. You hadn’t expected his kuru to be this sensitive, originally assuming that the tendrils would’ve been the area to coax this much of a reaction out of him, and perhaps to some extent they still would, yet you would never venture to investigate, wanting to respect his boundaries. However that wouldn’t stop your curious nature from experimenting further with the rest of his kuru.

You weren’t even sure why you did it, maybe just caught up in the moment of analyzing his body’s reactions, but before you know it, your eyes had drifted to the tent pitching in his loincloth. The heat in your face rises at an alarming rate as you avert your eyes before he has a chance to notice. Now the gears in your head had shifted to a slightly different approach, however inappropriate the best or worst form of the sense. Cautiously, your palm begins to wrap around Teylan’s kuru, now holding it gently in your hand. Teylan subtly squirms in his seat, releasing another broken sigh, his eyes flutter closed yet again, to which you take the opportunity to let your gaze wander down between his thighs again, just in time to see his cock twitch beneath his garment. 

Your mind now raced as you slowly shifted your body closer to his, positioning yourself between his thighs. Sensing your presence and feeling your body heat, Teylan opened his eyes, watching you with his lips parted, his breath catches in his throat as your hand begins to travel up his kuru, toward his skull. “Y/N… wha- what are you doing?”, “I just want to see if it’s more sensitive at the base of your skull…” you explain calmly, locking eyes with him. A heated look between each of you is exchanged. While your expression was one of allure and confidence, Teylan’s was that of lust and full of trust. A clear submission playing behind his eyes, that he would let you continue with your venture. With the silent exchange giving you further permission, your hand glides up his braid, toward the base of his kuru at the back of his head. His body instantly begins to rock and squirm, his breath hitching with a heavy gasp and a waning whimper escaping him before he can fully hide it by biting his bottom lip. 

The moment your hand tightens its grasp on the base of his kuru, even with it being ever so slightly, Teylan’s large hand suddenly encompasses your back, pulling you flush against his body, his face burying into your shoulder as a muffled whine echoes in your ear. Your eyes widen, heart now rapping violently in your chest as you fear you may have overstepped, your hands quickly moving to push back against his chest “T-Teylan I’m sorry I-.”, yet you are met with resistance as his hand on your back effortlessly keeps you exactly where he wants you, “-No. No, don't stop… please.”. Now breathless yourself, you look up at Teylan and watch as the previous look in his eyes shift to one of aching need, with your pelvis now pressed against his bulge.

He wanted this and you couldn’t deny that part of you, the part that wasn’t a scientist, that part that truly compelled you to the na’vi, wanted this too. Pressing your lower abdomen assertively against his throbbing boner, you snake your hand back around his head, and gripping his kuru with the same cautiousness you had before, taking joy in how easy it was to get him hot and bothered as he rested his cheek against the side of your head, letting another whimper slip from his lips, gently grinding his cock against your body. It was scandalous and outrageously unprofessional, but you couldn’t care less when his lips eagerly met your neck, the bill of his hat bumping against your head as he begins to leave soft, wet kisses along your skin. How long would it be until you were caught? You weren’t particularly in a private area. At any moment someone could walk in and witness a human and a na’vi engaging in such an intimate act… and this fact excited you as you leaned your head back, allowing him further access to your neck, your hand gripping his kuru slightly tighter than before, fueling the fire that was brewing inside of Teylan.

Tag list: @itchaboi-itchyboy @pandoraslxna @oakbuggy @plooto @xylianasblog @etherial-moon-blog @hikari-michiko @neteyamssyulang @blue-slxt @c-townes @loaksxhoe @xstarsdiary @neteyamswillow @akoyaxs @neteyxmsgirl @narwhal-swimmingintheocean @zafrinaxyz @neteyams-wh0re @neteyamyawne @kiri-tuk @beauitful-brown-skin-05 @akoyaxs @neteyamsstuff @puddleswimmingnerd-blog @ntymavtr @luvv4j4ybe11

#avatar12daysofkinkmas #avatar #avatar the way of water #avatar frontiers of pandora #frontiers of pandora #teylan #Teylan smut #frontiers of Pandora smut #Teylan x reader #Teylan x human!reader #afop

[bueckerssturns]

tag, you’re it - m. sturniolo

pairing: stalker ! Matt x OC

warnings: stalking, cursing, pictures being taken without consent.

summary: daisy just moved to a new home in a new town what happens when matt takes interest in her?

the triplets live in boston and aren’t famous during this.

ALL OF THIS IS FAKE! THIS IS PURE FICTION! matt will never do anything that is written in this.

-----------------------------------------------------

LOG IN:

USERNAME:matt******

PASSWORD: ********

open up file 5521?

yes no

FILE OPENED

NAME: Daisy Rose Larson

BIRTHDAY: July 10th, 2004

SIBLINGS: one sister. Alison Larson(12 years old)

PARENTS: Violet and James Larson

Daisy just moved a few houses down from me, she currently lives alone and moved here for college. She is nineteen years old, she loves to read and write she graduated from high school as a valedictorian. from what I could gather she has never had a boyfriend, she takes her studies very seriously.

matt looked away from his screen just in time to see her running around the block like she usually did every day in the afternoons, he ducked down a little to keep a closer look at her without letting her see him.

“MATT!” screamed Nick from the kitchen making matt quickly get up close his laptop and get out of his room “what?” he said looking at nick “i realized that we never properly introduced ourselves to the new girl that moved in a few houses down so we were wondering if you wanted to join us on saying hi” spoke chris while putting on his shoes “yea, i’ll go” replied matt putting his shoes on.

knock knock

the knocking grabs the girls attention as she pauses the show she’s currently watching and heads to the door to check who’s there, three figures are standing outside.

“hello?” she said softly as she opened the door to the three boys in front of her “hi, sorry to show up like this but we’re your neighbors we live a few houses down” nick spoke as he stretched out his hand for her to shake “hi, im daisy nice to meet you…” “nick!” he finished with a smile “these are my brothers matt and chris” he continued pointing at each one “nice to meet you guys come in!” she said opening her door more for the boys to walk in “your house is nice” spoke matt as he took in the layout of the house.

“thank you, i’m still decorating and what not but i’m glad you like it. would you guys like water? lemonade?” the girl asked making her way to the kitchen. “water is fine” matt and nick spoke at the same time “do you have pepsi by any chance?” asked chris getting a glance from matt and nick “what i really want a pepsi right now!” whisper chris to his brothers.

the girl made her way back to them with two waters and two pepsis giving them a smile “here you go water and pepsi”

-

friday march 16.

her house is beautiful she said she needed to decorate more but i genuinely think it looks fine the way she has it right now.

matt added more and more information about the girl as he progressively learned more about her. always keeping his eyes on her every time she left her house he would follow her “to make sure she was safe.”

he would also constantly take pictures of her, she went out for a walk? he was a few steps behind with his camera in hand snapping a photo, she was checking her mail? he was by his window sneaking pictures of her and looking around to make sure nick and chris didn’t catch him.

-

matt quickly made his way into his room locking the door behind him as he made his way into the foot of his bed pushing the floorboard down making it pop up, he pulled out a box with all the pictures he’s taken of her and the pictures of things she’s showed interest in. he added a few more photos he had taken earlier that week before placing it back to its original place.

as the girl opened her door about to leave for work she saw a box no mailing address and no sign from who it was from just her name on the top. she brought it inside deciding she’ll open it after her shift.

i have a spare minute she thought as she grabbed some scissors to open up the box. she gasped once she saw what was inside, a perfume she saw at the mall the week before. but who would buy this for me? i didn’t even mention it to anyone.. she thought. she let it go thinking maybe she let it slip awhile ago. she put it on and headed to work.

and that’s how it was for weeks any time she saw something she liked a week later it will show up on her doorstep. it weirded her out at first but she thought it was probably her parents sending her those things.

april 15.

she seems to really enjoy the gifts i’ve been giving her, she obviously doesn’t know it’s me who is giving them to her. she can’t know. no matter how much i want to tell her it can’t happen. i don’t need another incident like eliana. she seems different tho i don’t think i’ll have a problem with her.

daisy was taking one of her usual afternoon walks when suddenly matt’s car appeared next to her slowing down “hey, i was going out for ice cream wanna join?” he ask her as he kept looking to the road and back to her “um sure todays my cheat day anyway!” she laughed as he stopped for her to get in.

“so where are we going?” she asked as she paused her music “we’re going to tipping cow” “holy shit i’ve heard about that place but never had the opportunity to go!” she said with a smile.

the time they spent together the girl had a smile the whole time making the boy fall even more obsessed in love with her.

during that night once she got dropped off by matt she realized she needed to go grocery shopping. the clock read 10:30pm there’s nothing like going grocery shopping at night. she made her way to the grocery store since it was just a few blocks away from her neighborhood.

she was walking out of the grocery shop with a few bags worth of groceries when she heard footsteps behind her, ignoring them thinking it was her own she continued walking. but her gut feeling made her look behind her to see a man in all black following her. she ran as fast as she could throughout the whole parking lot until she got home.

-

weeks passed and she always had the feeling of being followed even if she wasn’t being followed. things stopped after weeks she finally felt free and not paranoid about constantly being watched.

or so she thought one certain day she was taking one of her usual walks around the neighborhood when she saw him again, the man in all black in front of her she quickly turned around and started running towards her house that was a couple blocks away. as she got in she locked her door and closed her curtains hoping that it would make her invisible.

ring ring

“h-hello?” she hesitantly answered

“you think you could run away from me? think again daisy you can never run away from me.” he spoke his voice deep and hoarse.

before going to sleep she made sure all her doors and windows were locked, she had her curtains closed. she took out the bat her dad had given her as a ‘safety weapon’ in case of emergencies like these.

that night everything was normal. the next morning she went out to check her mailbox when looking at them a certain envelope caught her attention “Daisy Larson” was in bolded letters when she opened it she found weeks worth of pictures of her. from her going on her daily walks to her being in class. she flipped the polaroid and in the bottom was written in red ink “say cheese”.

“say cheese?” she repeated in a whisper when suddenly she felt someone grab her from behind and put a cloth into her mouth. she struggled for a moment before knocking out.

DELETE FILE 5521?

DELETE SAVE

LOG OUT

YES NO

when daisy woke up she couldn’t move her arms and legs were tied up she tried screaming for help but the bandanna tied around her mouth prevented her from making any noise. she looked around the area analyzing it, it looked like an old basement or something similar to that she looked around for anything that could help her get out when her eyes landed on the wall in front of her in thick red bold letters was written:

TAG, YOU’RE IT. ;)

—————————————————————

hope y’all enjoy this um it was based off tag you’re it by melanie martinez (love her to death)

and hopefully this was good idek i feel like it’s rushed iddkkkk 😣😣😣

tags 🏷️: @breeloveschris @sturniolobendystrawsposts @hearts4chris @patscorner @lexisecretaccx @tubl-mc @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloblogs

#matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo smut #matt x reader #matt sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut #fanfic #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x you #nathan doe #nate doe #chris x reader #matt sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo imagine #melanie martinez #tag youre it

[shadowandlightt]

Of Nightmares and Memories | Twelve | Azriel x Rhys' Little Sister! Reader

Series Warnings: Kidnapping. Mistreatment. Cursing. Pining. Violence. Depression. Talks of suicide. Eventual smut

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight Part Nine Part Ten Part Eleven

You laughed as you walked through the forest with your mother and Michaa, your maid. Though, you almost could have believed she was your father’s bastard daughter. In another life, maybe she could have been your sister. You were on your way to meet Rhys, before continuing on to the War Camps to the north. 

You hated The Illyrians and their prejudice, but you loved your brother, Cassian, and Azirel. Although you weren’t sure if you’d see Az or Cass on this trip. It’d been too long since you’d laid eyes on them though, and you were aching to feel their arms around you. 

“How much further?” You groan, dropping your wings slightly, “Can’t we just fly?” 

“You know the winds are too strong today, my love,” your mother informs you softly, “I think we’d all father fly anyway, you know how much Michaa loves it.” 

The young woman only grinned and turned her eyes towards the sky. She was Illyrian too. Wings unclipped thanks to having been born in Valaris. Why she wasn’t in Illyria you weren’t sure, but you were glad to have her. Your life wouldn’t be nearly as fun without her by your side for all of the trouble you caused. 

You close your eyes for a moment and reach your power out, focusing on the soft shadows that lurked by the trees. You weren’t as good at commanding them as Azriel, but you had a small kernel of that power dwelling inside you. Something your father knew nothing about. 

I’m coming, you willed them to say. Before searching for their master. You felt his mental shields, just as strong and powerful as he. You stroked down those shields, gently, sensually. Begging for entrance to his mind. 

I’m in a meeting, his voice fills your mind. 

I plan on sneaking into your tent this weekend.

And you swear you can hear him groan. Not in frustration, but in wanting. You can feel it rippling through his mind. You smile down at your feet, heat rising in your cheeks. You knew the effect you had on him, just as he knew the effect he had on you. You were playing a dangerous game. 

Your father would likely kill Az if he ever found out. Which is why you had to get good at sneaking in the shadows, using them to conceal you from prying eyes. You were a quick study though, and was beginning to master the skill. Az was always proud of you when you manages it. 

Don’t get me in trouble today, he warns, although not sounding very convincing, I doubt the Lords would like it very much if I start smelling like I want you as badly as I do. 

You pause, nearly tripping over a fallen log. Your mother gives you a knowing smile, seeming to understand who you’re talking to. She only knew because she once caught Az sneaking out of your rooms just before dawn. Her and Rhys had been out flying all night and were just returning. She only smiled and turned around, wishing you both a goodnight as she went. 

I doubt my brother would like it very much. 

Minx. 

But you can hear the laugh in his voice. It fills your head and your chest, filling the void that always seems to be there when Azirel is not near. You rub your chest subconsciously, feeling that void a little more today knowing you’ll be seeing him in just a few short hours. 

“Rhys will winnow us to the camps, won’t he?” You ask your mother. 

“Yes dear, he’ll winnow you and Michaa first and then come back for me,” She tells you once more. 

I want everything with you, Az. 

I want it all too. 

You smile to yourself, knowing he meant it. If only your father wasn’t the male that he was, maybe you’d be allowed to follow your heart. Free to love whoever you wished. Not be sold for breeding when the time came. But you were still young, only eighteen. Marriage was still a good while away, thanks to your mother convincing him you still had growing up to do. She was right in some ways. 

“Pay attention to where you’re walking, Y/N,” your mother warned you, “Your Shadowsinger will still be there once we reach our meeting point.” 

You blush ferociously, heat flooding your cheeks so much that it radiated from them. Michaa smiled and let out a little laugh. She knew too, of course. You two sat up late most nights, when you weren’t out flying together, and talked about the Shadowsinger and just how wonderful he truly is. 

He’d seen such darkness already in his life, but yet his smile was still so beautiful it took your breath away. Sometimes that smile was reserved only for you. Sometimes you felt as if you were the only fae alive that got to see it, and you were okay with that. With the thought that he only smiled for you, and sometimes Cassian and Rhys. They were his bastard brothers after all. You were different though, you’d never seen him as a brother. From the moment you met him, as young as you were, you knew he was destined to be something else to you. You could already feel that strange tug in your chest, pulling you towards him. 

I’ll see you soon, you promise him, sending images of the two of you curled up together into his mind. 

You can practically feel him smiling against your skin, can practically feel him against you. You bite your lip, trying to regain control. But he seems to caress you in his mind, making you go weak in the knees. 

You pull away from his mind, noting how he seems to leave a small spot open just for you to return whenever you feel like it. You smile to yourself as you continue to walk. You wished you were strong enough to winnow more than one person, so you could just winnow to the camps and be done with this walking. 

But you weren’t far from the halfway point where you were supposed to meet Rhys. You would probably have to wait on him, seeing as he was apparently in the middle of training a new unit, but he would come for you one way or another. And he would take you to Azriel, whether he wanted to do so or not. 

But the shadows swirled around you as you reached a clearing. Your mother and Michaa falling silent. The whole world fell silent it seemed like. The shadows swirled, reaching your ears as you sniffed the air around you. 

Run, they said, run far and run fast. 

“Mother?” You question, smelling several distinctly male scents lingering in the air. 

She didn’t get the chance to reply before an arrow shot through her wings, causing her to scream out. You screamed too, seeing a flash of blonde hair in your vision, before arms came around you. Your wings vanished, too afraid of what might happen to them. But your mother, Cauldron, your mother’s wings. 

They grabbed Michaa next, holding a blade to her throat. You felt the cold steel kiss your own neck as lips caressed your ear. 

“Don’t scream,” He said into your ear, “Or I’ll slit your throat.” 

You swallow thickly. Fear gripping every part of you. You forgot the training Cassian and Rhys and Azirel drilled into you. Forgot that you weren’t a helpless little girl, that you had powers too. But all you could think of was the fear that gripped you and the smell of blood, your mother’s blood. And the realization that you were going to die, one way or another. 

You wake with a start, jolting up in your bed before hurtling yourself into the washroom nearby. You empty your stomach over and over again, before the sound of your bedroom door makes you stop. Cassian is by your side in an instant, rubbing your back. 

“I have them too,” He confirms, “Every night.” 

“I’m sorry I woke you,” You say softly, feeling the nausea fade. 

“I was already awake,” He sighs, sitting down on the floor across from you, leaning against the bath, “I heard you scream.” 

“It was that day,” You confide in him, “In the woods.” 

“We don’t have to talk about it,” He tells you slowly, “I don’t want you to have to relive it.” 

“I relive it every day. Everytime I close my eyes, it’s there.” 

His eyes soften at you. He reaches a hand out for you to take. He’d been too far away that day to get anywhere near you. He couldn’t have made it even if Rhys called for him. He didn’t know it happened until it was too late. He made it to the clearing not long after Azirel and Rhys, having flown as quickly as he possibly could. 

“It was Lucien,” You spoke after a long while, “I slept with Lucien.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” He replies softly, “You did what you had to do to survive.” 

“I did it to survive,” You agree, in your own way trying to convince yourself, “It kept Tamlin from darkening my door.” 

He sighs deeply, knowing you’d been through more than any of them. You watch as he gets to his feet, wings tucked in tight, and holds a hand out for you, “C’mon, let’s get you back in bed.”

You take his hand and allow him to pull you up before slowly walking you to your large bed. Big enough to accommodate wings, you realized. Big enough for more than one winged person. You had a lump in your throat, because once upon a time that was all you could’ve asked for. 

You climbed into your bed, allowing Cassian to pull the covers up over you before he walked to the other side and crawled in. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Not leaving you alone,” He said gruffly, curling his arms around your stomach and pulling you to him, “We all know you slept better when Az was in your bed, but seeing as he’s at The House of Wind, being an ass, I’ll just have to do.” 

You swallow and nod. Trying to fight the blush on your cheeks at his admission. You knew, of course, that he knew about you and Az. He hadn’t made his knowing very secret over the years. But was always smart enough to lose his tongue whenever your father was around. 

Now he didn’t have to worry about that. Your father was dead. You didn’t mourn him the way you mourned your mother. You didn’t feel the need to mourn him in that way. He wasn’t a loving man. He was the opposite of your mother. 

“Why won’t you fly?” Cass asked softly. 

“It hurts too much to try and summon my wings now,” You tell him honestly. It seemed that tonight would be the night to let all of your secrets go. 

“Hurts too-” 

You cut him off by rolling over onto your front, your nightgown cut low enough in the back to reveal two long scars stretching down your back. You know the moment Cass saw them, because he went rigid and sucked in a deep breath. He reached out, fingers carefully brushing the top of the scars. 

“Hurts in more than one way,” You confirm, “Emotionally, and physically. The scars are thick, right where the wings should be.”

“You didn’t heal?”

“Faebane.” 

He rolls you back over so you’re on your back now. You refuse to look up at him, refuse to meet his eyes. You can feel him staring at you though, you can almost feel his emotions rolling off of him in waves. 

You shake your head and roll back over on your side, “I’m tired.”

You feel him nod behind you before wrapping you back up in his arms. You melt into his arms, missing the feeling of being held by someone. Maybe that’s why you turned to Lucien all of those years ago. He was there and he was in pain too, and needed someone to help him move on. He was sweet and gentle and not at all like his ruthless brothers, or Tamlin. 

It just seemed to work between the two of you. There was no love between you, no true feelings. It was physical, and that was it. He would occasionally try to go to bat for you against Tamlin, but much like how he was with Feyre, he would never really push his friend for fear of what would happen. 

You fall asleep quickly, and do not dream again. 

 You wake in the morning to the sound of a door opening and a low growl. Fear rips through you and you refuse to move. Even as arms retract from around you, even as the male next to you sits up in the bed. 

“You don’t get the option of being mad,” you almost let out a sigh of relief at Cassian’s voice. 

You were in the Night Court, you were safe. 

“You’re in her bed,” Azriel growls. 

“All because you weren’t here,” Cassian shrugs, or you assume he does, “She needed you, and you were sulking because she did what she had to in order to survive.” 

“You know nothing about what she did,” Az growls again. 

“They carved her back,” You feel Cassian shudder in the bed, “Two long lines, right where her wings should be, like they carved her up trying to get to them.” 

You wanted to tell them that he was right. That’s exactly what they did. They carved you up like a piece of meat trying to find your beloved wings. The thought made you want to vomit again. But you refused, you refused to let them see you like that again. 

“Get out of her bed.”

“Brother, you know I’m only here to help her,” Cassian said softly, “She needed someone. Preferably you, but I made do.” 

The bed dipped as Cassian got up, leaning over long enough to brush a kiss on your forehead. It’s a simple gesture, but he’d been doing it since you were a small child, maybe even before then. 

“It was Lucien Vanserra,” Cassian said softly at the door, “Which I thank the Mother for. Because at least he still had a heart, before Amerantha came. For all he’s worth, he was a good male, once upon a time.” 

Azirel growls again and shuts the door in Cassian’s face. Az’s shadows make their way towards you, curling around your body as Az slowly moves closer. You know they’ll tell him that you’re awake, but maybe he’ll ignore them and let you continue this farce. 

“I’m sorry,” He said pulling a chair up to the edge of your bed, “I should have handled things better yesterday.”

You finally peel your eyes open to see him leaning over, hands folded on your bed. You want to reach for those hands, those beautifully scarred hands. You wanted to kiss them again, like you used to do all those years ago. But it didn’t feel right anymore. 

“I shouldn’t have said what I did,” You admit, “It was wrong of me. I aimed to hurt you, and that’s something I promised I’d never do.” 

His head shook slowly, “I hurt you too. I promised I wouldn’t let you go. And instead I turned my back on you the second you said something I didn’t like.”

You prop yourself up on your elbows and reach over to brush a few strands of hair out of his eyes. You missed his eyes, so telling to you and cold to everyone else. The Shadowsinger of the Night Court, violent, cold, and deadly, yet so soft and warm to you. 

“I love you, Azriel,” You admit softly, feeling his shadows gather on your back. 

You knew what they were doing, even if he didn’t, but you didn’t try to stop them. He would want to see them eventually. But not this morning. Not when you already felt so laid bare in front of him. 

“I know you do,” He leans forward to kiss you, “I love you too. C’mon, Rhys said he should be back today. And Mor is waiting downstairs to eat breakfast with us.” 

So you find yourself sipping on coffee and eating a rich pastry with Mor when Rhys, and a very soaking wet Feyre and Amren slam into the floor of the living room. You all shoot to your feet. Moving towards the three quickly. 

“What the hell happened?” You questioned. 

“I’d like to know the same thing,” Rhys stated. 

“Did you get it?” Is all Mor can think to say. 

“Get what?” Your head rips to her and then back to Rhys. 

“Nothing.”

“No!” You yell, “Not nothing! Obviously not nothing. What happened in Summer?” 

And then you hear it, you hear the book.

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[from-izzy]

i'm home | tbz lee sangyeon

» ​PAIRING: tbz lee sangyeon x gn!reader (please tell me if i made a mistake!)​ » TROPE/AU​: established relationship au!, long-distance relationship au!, non-idol au! » GENRE​: loving boyfriend sangyeon, very supportive sangyeon, fluffy fluff, bit of angst (ok, maybe more than a 'bit'), comfort comfort and...comfort, reading blushes cause of sangyeon (hehe), boyfie sangyeon who's taller so that you can comfortably hide your face to his chest » WORD COUNT: 4625 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~17 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): mention of religion once, proofread once, workplace hardships navi/masterlist!! 🤍 part of 'especially to you...'

i was a little bit nervous about posting this, especially since it was very rushed! sorry, i didn't plan this well 🥹 nothing came up till the last minute 😞 def didn't freak out or anything— 🤠 i'm gonna hype myself up and think this is fine considering i was racing against the clock (which i didn't manage to beat 😞) and have study to do (exams who? nov 9 who?).

but first of all to me: i know you rejected a lot of opportunities, drowned yourself in a lot of regrets, and i understand that planes are scary for you. i hope that you will find a reason soon to finally see the world like your younger self was dying to do. you were so close to doing it in july and i'm so proud of that first step. keep going, okay?

and! to you @winterchimez...i don't think there are any words needed. welcome home, soulmate! 🫂

Nothing will ever feel as much at home to you as Sangyeon could ever be.

You knew this the moment you told him about how you got the opportunity to work overseas. You remember when it felt like you were fighting endlessly with yourself. Around two years ago, after your weekly date, a loving kiss on your lips and the way Sangyeon would flash you that endearing smile, you thought that everything would be fine. You pushed, what you thought, to be a slim chance that you would be able to work overseas to the back of your mind. At first, you felt crushed about the video interview that you messed up, stuttering and using filler words while you internally scolded yourself for not preparing answers to simple job interview questions. Your head was overloaded with information between things to say and not to say, what would be the best answer and how to play your cards right. In the end, as soon as you pressed the red button on the video call interview, you reached out for your phone to call the first person on your call logs.

Sangyeon remembers that video call, the line of tears cascading down your cheeks as you vent your feelings out. He always waited for you to finish your sentences, nodding along to your words and giving affirming body language to show that he was actively following. Along your stream of words, you didn’t realise that Sangyeon stepped outside in the cold air, his phone at a new low angle and the lights from the buildings were the only reason why you were still able to see his smile across the screen.

“Wait…why are you outside? Where are you going?” You grabbed the new box of tissues from your bedside table, ripping the top part of the box with the dashed lines to help you retrieve a new paper instantly.

“Just grabbing some things.” Sangyeon leisurely answers, bringing the camera closer to his puckering lips, “I’m sure you did amazing, baby. Don’t worry too much, alright? And if you didn’t make it, then I’m sure God has other plans for you.”

You both continue talking over the phone, wiping your eyes, drinking a ton of water and burying yourself underneath the blanket as Sangyeon continues his little errand run. Soon enough, you finally understood why the phone was tilted upwards towards the sky and why Sangyeon didn’t show the things he bought—all the usual things that he would share with you during his random, night errand runs like this one. 

It was when he finally brought the phone up to be in line with his face that you recognised the familiar street background that he was walking in. You gasped, throwing your blanket to the floor, and opening the door suddenly to face your parents who looked at you with shocked eyes. They couldn’t even voice out any of their thoughts because you were out the front door as fast as you exited your bedroom door.

Knowing well that you found out about his plan, Sangyeon made a final sprint for your house, the contents inside the plastic bag ruffles and his earphones your excited laughs and words fill his earphones, mixed in with some of your still sniffling sounds from the devastating earlier events.

That night wasn’t the first time that Sangyeon would run over to you with no notice or hesitation but Sangyeon had been going through a tough time with his personal life and you didn’t know that he would still be able to have such energy to take care of you. It’s a miracle that you were able to still go on dates that these days would be impossible to plan. That night was a reminder to you, especially with the way that he lowered his lower body down, wrapped his arms around your waist, and lifted you as he buried his face into the crook of your neck, that you really love your boyfriend and that he has always been your number one supporter.

In his arms, with some final tears that Sangyeon wiped away delicately from your still-red cheeks, you were sure that everything would be fine. 

Your tears started because you were stressed but it ended with comfort.

But you got another huge headache about a week later when you got the final results of the interview. It could be the acceptance letter (that you were still sure you weren’t going to get), but you knew that you needed to at least open it, read it and accept whatever result it was to move on with your life. So, you tapped on the notification without much thought and you will forever remember this sentence: We look forward to working with you. You froze then and there, your jaw open in disbelief and your fingers went back to the main email page, pulling the inbox page down to refresh the screen. Lo and behold, you were faced with a challenge that you didn’t bother to think about.

You sprint to Sangyeon’s house as soon as the reality sinks into you. Once again, you left your parent’s house after breaking the news to the owners before leaving. Usually, you would have never been able to run that fast and long without a break. The adrenaline and anxiety took over your whole body, and you let your legs guide you to your boyfriend’s house. 

Sangyeon welcomed the news with open arms, his feet adorably tapping on the spot and a deep, soft kiss on your lips that still held his radiant smile. But unlike him, you could only stand at your spot in front of his house and give him a reluctant smile. To this, his smile drops and so did the arms that were in the air a moment ago to celebrate this new journey of yours. The vertical lines between his eyebrows made itself evident and you could only respond with a series of head-shaking and quivering lips.

“Hey…” He cradles the back of your head with one hand, the other on your cheek as he steps forwards towards you, “What’s wrong? You’ve always wanted this.”

Your arms surrounded Sangyeon’s lower body tightly, taking a handful of his sweater and your cold nose slowly became warmer thanks to his body temperature, “I know. But now that it’s happening, I’m having second thoughts.”

He continues to dig further into your thoughts, wanting to understand your feelings more and why you were having second thoughts about something you worked so hard for, “Do you want to elaborate further now? Or do you want to come inside first?”

“If I say the latter, will you cuddle with me?”

This is the you that he knows: the one that would always wish for a kiss, then a cuddle and then another kiss. You lift your face from his chest, increasing the distance between you both slightly. Sangyeon sees the sparkle in your eyes and the slight pout on your lips when you look up at him with a silent plea for a positive answer to your question. 

Who was he to refuse and break your heart like that? 

Plus…he wanted to cuddle with you as much as you did.

And so with the support of your loving family, chaotic friends and encouraging boyfriend, you packed up, headed onto the new country alone and started a new, independent life. Thankfully, you were able to find a place close to your workplace and the foreign place became your home quickly with your three kind housemates. Splitting the chores around the house, cooking, and establishing times to use the washing machine was never a problem. Living in the same house made it easier for you all to spend some time and get to know each other better, leading to routine Friday nights to be spent with each other, going on road trips and eventually overseas trips.

Your workplace has been rewarding as you found the same good qualities of your housemates in most of your co-workers. From day one, everyone has welcomed you to their lives with open arms and you knew for sure that these people wouldn’t be the reason that you would ever have to leave to go back home.

“It’s just so unfair.” It was the company, the workplace and the conditions that they put you in. The logic didn’t make sense: the place was understaffed yet they won’t hire any new people. Of course, there were many underlying factors around it, but after being so overworked, adapting to the new culture, being homesick and, your body trying its best to adjust to the new season changes that you would never have to deal with back home, it was inevitable that you were going to break down soon, “Why? Just why do they have to do that?”

“I’m so sorry you’re going through that.” Oh how much Sangyeon just wanted to jump out of the screen and hug you tight. When was the last time he ever got to do that anyway? He missed having you in his reach—his favourite love language not being able to be expressed for about half a year now, “Hang in there, baby. I know you can do this. Stay strong, hm?”

Through your blurred vision, you could still make out his sorrowful smile, his hand that just hovers the top of the camera on his phone as if to recreate the feeling that he was touching the side of your head.

Perhaps, the worst part of being away from home is your inability to ever interact with them in real-time. The time difference made it too exhausting for everyone on the other side of the world to communicate with you properly. Sure, there were rare days when they could, but the way their moon would rise when the sun said its greetings here made you swallow down your tears at night, forcing you to reassure yourself that ‘everything is going to be fine.’ Because of this, it was a routine for you to drown in your thoughts throughout the day, waking up with a heavy head and heart from the previous nights as you plaster on a weak but still genuine smile when you greet your coworkers. 

With the help of your housemates, your family and Sangyeon have managed to surprise you on both of your birthdays as well as some gaps between their schedules. Those memories would be the ones you would replay in your head as you cry your heart out in the middle of the bed that’s in the middle of the room, in the middle of the night.

Other than the visits and calls, the only things that would connect you to them are the daily pictures and videos. At the very least, they captured the lives of the ones you love back home. Unlike the memories that you could only see and keep for yourself, the physical evidence of their smiles is another big source of comfort for you, especially when all you wanted during your lonely walk home was just life updates from the people that you love most. Somewhere along the way though, the pictures and videos became too much for you, and you start to imagine what the picture would be like if you filled up the negative space within it. 

How would it be like to share that laughter, smile and experience of the atmosphere that the picture manages to capture? What was the air around there like? Humid? Cold? Warm? Aromatic? Or maybe perhaps, would you have been too entranced by Sangyeon’s presence that the only thing you could smell was his signature perfume mixed in with his laundry detergent? 

How would it feel just to have Sangyeon’s shoulder pressed up against yours whenever he has that habit of putting an arm around your back to grab the opposite side of your waist? To have his bigger hand securely intertwine with yours? To have him press a kiss on the side of your head after he whispers ‘I love you forever’ to your ears—knowing well that you were the only one in the world that he would ever confess that phrase intimately to.

How would it feel like to just have the familiar buildings of your neighbourhood, your city and the familiar murals or paintings in your life again? Would it be more comforting than the pictures of the same scenery on your phone? Would your heart be more at ease walking in the night even if all the lights were off or there were no signs of life?

As an answer to your thoughts, after two years of learning, gaining life experiences and missing the air of your home, you bravely decided not to pick up the pen on the table and sign your initials on the new contract paper. 

You decided: I’m going home. 

It’s been a really wild ride. A ride that you would never exchange for anything else. For one, you made friends from the other side of the world. Friends that you knew you could always hit up and visit if you ever come back. Two, it was real when people say that ‘the distance makes the heart grow fonder’. Sangyeon has always been the boyfriend who would cry and carry his burden alone but would always welcome your hardships into his life. Before, even though you could pick up some of the signs on some occasions, the limited video calls allowed you both to pour your feelings out, exchanging confessions and true thoughts. Had you not been across the world, you were confident that Sangyeon would step out of his shell eventually but you were thankful that the distance did its job healthily and your relationship with him strengthened with the tears and chuckles that he showed. 

When the time came and you finished training the new worker who would soon be taking your place in the company, you did your final preparations before stepping out of the house that sheltered you for two years. Final goodbyes, tears being shed, words of affirmation and promises for occasional updates were made before you drove off to the airport. Rolling down the car window, you twist your upper body to face the back of the car, your hand waving up in the air. 

The ride to the airport is bittersweet. You put your phone down after texting Sangyeon that you would call him when you pass through security. All you wanted to do at this moment was to look out the windows and take in the colours of the journey, half-scared that the scenery might turn monochrome soon if you didn’t pay close attention.

Keeping your promise, you connected your earphones and turned on your camera to be faced with Sangyeon leisurely lying in bed, one hand on the back of his head on the headboard, blinking his eyes to fight the sleep from his system.

“You should sleep.” 

Sangyeon shakes his head, straightening his back and sitting up. He takes a deep breath, his chest expanding in volume as he does so, “You only have a few minutes before you have to go anyway. I can stay awake and accompany you.”

“You’re the best, you know that?” 

Thankfully, you found a seat for yourself in the busy atmosphere. You place your backpack on the floor in front of you between your legs, being mindful of the other passengers in the busy airport who most probably had a long day before this, now having to spend overnight in a metal column.

“Love that hoodie on you. Where’d you get it?” Sangyeon wiggles his eyebrows playfully and you roll your eyes, “Good to know that you didn’t leave it behind.”

“I would be crazy to leave this behind.” You pull on the strings of the hoodie, fastening the circumference of the hood around the outline of your face, pouting cutely to your boyfriend who just laughs at you fondly.

“Can’t wait to hold you.” That sentence holds so many meanings and tugged on your heartstrings so much. It hurt for a bit to hear him say that, especially when his voice sounded so tired, “I love you so much.”

“I love you so much.” You whisper to the microphone, holding the tears that you didn’t want to show to your friends throughout the whole week, “I miss you so much. I can’t wait to go on physical, real-life dates again.”

“A few more hours.” He reminds the both of you, holding on just a little bit longer, “Everything will sort itself out then.”

That’s right.

A few more hours until you will both be able to be in the same space again. Just a little bit more before you’ll be able to steal a kiss from his lips whenever and wherever. 

You can’t wait to be back in the comfort of your bed, saying ‘goodnight’ to your parents and slipping out of your windows shortly after to meet Sangyeon at the convenience store. 

You can’t wait to spend some time with his mum—who he gets very jealous of sometimes—and steal more childhood, baby pictures of him. Along with that, you can’t wait for his mum to let you sneak into his room to steal some of his clothes. 

You can’t wait to see his blushing face as he freezes between the doorframe when his eyes land on how his sleeves would completely cover your arms, and your thighs and expose a little bit of your shoulders. 

You can’t wait for him to scoop you up in his strong arms, eliciting your series of squeals and giggles that he has fallen deeply in love with. 

You can’t wait for him to tuck you in bed, pulling his blanket up to your chin. He would then frame his larger body over yours throughout the night, making you sleep deeper and better. But your night, wouldn’t be complete until you delicately kiss him on his chin, cheek and lips. His night wouldn’t be complete either until he kissed your forehead, nose and lips, taking his sweet time on the last body part. 

Most importantly, the night wouldn’t be complete overall until your lips part each other and exchange ‘I love you’s.

As soon as you landed, the adrenaline of finally being in the same country, the same land, the same building knocked out the jetlag and you were suddenly wide awake. You felt a bit bad for the bottom of the seat in front of you and your backpack which was violently ripped out from its peace, but you would like to think that they would understand your sudden burst of energy. You race and slip yourself between the bodies of people who were most probably confused and amazed by how much your eyes were darting around the conveyor belt so quickly, trying to find your check-in baggage—but you didn’t care.

You care about is Lee Sangyeon.

Now, you passed through every security check, every random bag inspection, opening and relocking up all your luggage again one by one, your patience running out by the minute.

But it’s okay.

Because now, only one glass door stands in the way between you and all the people waiting on the other side. 

You watch from the distance as the automatic door opens and closes through other passengers. You were even able to catch a glimpse of some of your fellow flight passengers who spotted their loved ones immediately in the crowd, their hands releasing the handle brake of their trolley when they rushed into the crowd. Their loved ones cry and gasp at the presence that they have been so desperate for, their bodies swaying side to side to keep some of their emotions regulated in public.

Oh, how you know you wouldn’t be able to hold in your tears.

Exhaling and inhaling a couple more times, your hands grip the handle of your trolley, doing a final baggage check that everything is securely held in place and that you didn’t leave anything. Finally, you push the handle to release the brake and you start to walk over to the translucent glass doors. 

Time didn’t slow down. 

It just felt still. 

It didn’t stop though—it just felt still.

You could hear your heartbeat through your ears, your palms were sweating in nervousness and you could barely feel the ground that you were walking on with every step of your feet. The gush of wind pushes your hair back dramatically and your eyes water at the cooler air from the other side of the door. Metal barricades separate the arriving passengers from the crowd from both sides of your body and you force your teared-up eyes to carefully scan through the rows of the crowds and the signs that they held up. Your back straightens to accommodate your eyes’ effort in addition to your lips that move in the shape of the name of the person you miss the most. Unfamiliar faces fill your visual field and your feet finally take you to the end of the barricade, heart feeling heavy at the unsuccessful event to pick out anyone in the crowd that you know. 

But then…

“Found you.” 

His appearance explains why you were unable to quickly pick him out from the crowd if you didn’t focus on detail. Sangyeon grins at your shocked facial expression, watching your eyes slowly lift from the bouquet in his hands to the freshly black dye on his hair.

“Y-You—”

“What do you think?” His pointer and thumb raise to twirl a bit of his hair, his eyes still on you, “You always said that I would look good with black hair.”

“Good?” Oh, he knew what kind of effect this is having on you and he’s having fun with this, “Sangyeon, you—” 

His facial expression softens straightaway when the tears that you’ve been holding for so long finally drop to the ground and he strides forwards immediately as soon as he catches a glimpse of your quivering lips. Forget about the flowers, forget about the people around you, forget about how you were standing in the middle of the walkway. He sets his ‘welcome back’ gifts on top of your things, swiftly wrapping an arm behind your shoulders while the other one cups your cheeks. 

Sangyeon held your shaking body against his tightly, and it was good that he did, otherwise, you would surely be on the floor. You relished in the scent that you missed the most, purposely taking in deep breaths to ground yourself back to the present. The boy smiles at the realisation, letting your free cheek cutely rest on his chest. He hushes you softly, the swiping motion of his thumb on your cheek giving you a physical reminder of his presence—a reminder that he is with you at this very moment. Multiple kisses were pressed on your forehead in an attempt to calm you down and responded with a whimper as you tried to form words.

“It’s okay.” It really is, “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Your body responded to his affirmation, your arms finally wrapping around his waist, the tips of his fingers just barely intertwining behind his back. Your palms lay flat on his smooth leather jacket and your ragged breathing found a stable pace once again. The increased oxygen in your blood allows you to finally feel Sangyeon’s plump lips on your forehead and the blush begins to form across your cheekbones. 

“You’re really here.”

“I am.” You feel the way his chest vibrates at his deep chuckle. 

That’s all he said and it’s way more than enough. Eyes closed, in Sangyeon’s embrace, his familiar scent, his lips hovering on your eyelids to press kisses there—everything is starting to feel like home.

“You look handsome.” For the first time since you arrived, you finally look at this new hair colour properly. Your eyebrows furrow, almost a look of dissatisfaction and disapproval, “Too handsome.” This time, one of your eyebrows raised at the way he responded with a teasing smile, “How many people asked you out already?”

“Honestly,” He starts to act, tightly closing his eyes as if to think very hard. He prolonged his hum with the way you glared at him cutely, wanting to tease you for longer, “quite a lot.”

The answer made you scoff, tilting your head away and you started to pull away from his embrace. Sangyeon didn’t let you walk away fully though for he pulled you right back to his body. Your hands attempt to stabilise your body the sudden act by resting on the curves of Sangyeon’s shoulders. The playful look in his eyes disappears and the extra layer of moisture shows itself—it tells you that he has been waiting for the only person to ever see his tears to be within his arms again. Both his hands rest on your waist and your own eyes search for the emotions behind his, a hand wiping his lower eyelid. That act makes a tear fall before another one falls and it soon becomes a fountain of emotions for the older male.

“I missed you. So much.” The way that Sangyeon puts so much emphasis on the second and fourth words sent chills down your spine.

Your hand on his shoulder slides upwards to cup his face, the other downwards to do the same on the other side. With all the strength you have left in your legs, you put your weight on your toes, fluttering your eyelids close and lifting your body to press a longing kiss to his lips. You tasted his tears on the curves on his lips, but knowing well that it stemmed from love, made your heart slowly start to heal. Sangyeon reciprocates immediately, travelling his hands to the side curves of your body, stopping at your neck, gently tilting your face upwards to deepen the kiss. The kiss sweetly alternates with his own hugging your bottom lips, pulling away for oxygen, a little ‘I love you’ and diving back in to hug your upper lips.

This is what home feels like.

It’s not some building or some land that could be pointed out on a map. It’s not necessarily the photos and videos that you received, even though they comforted you on cold nights. It’s not necessarily the rushed talks and recounts of your lives because the second hand on the clock mocked the little time you would always have, even though you were thankful that you had that small gap to do so.

It’s actually experiencing all of the above, going through all those trials, all those confusing emotions, and still feeling love and support. It’s being able to just walk with defeat over the day’s work but as soon as you arrive back home, the feeling either washes away or you’re able to just vent it and cry it out. 

With the right people, you were able to let these experiences turn into lessons and precious memories—similar to how there are specific bricks to build the proper structure of a house. As those experiences build, so does the clear image and structure of a house. Sure, houses break down due to inside and outside factors but when it does, you’re confident that you can work it out and make it stronger. 

With those thoughts in mind, the corner of your lips tugged upwards and no words were needed for Sangyeon to know that the smile wasn’t mischievous, teasing or playful.

It’s one full of relief and happiness.

“Welcome home.” Sangyeon changes his words between your kisses.

You hum, waiting for the next time he pulls away to give a proper response.

“I’m home.”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 'especially to you' tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️

#deoboyznet #k-labels #k-films #tbz x reader #the boyz fanfic #the boyz imagines #the boyz x reader #the boyz x you #lee sangyeon #sangyeon #sangyeon x reader #sangyeon x you #sangyeon imagines #sangyeon scenarios #sangyeon fluff #sangyeon angst #sangyeon fanfic #tbz fluff #tbz imagines #tbz scenarios #the boyz #tbz

[whatacaitastrophe]

Everything Has Changed - Chapter 5

Previous Chapter

Chapter Song Inspiration: "Magic" - B.o.B ft. Rivers Cuomo

Chapter Warnings: none

Spotify Playlist: Here

Author Notes: Thank you all so much for reading, reblogging, liking, and commenting on this fic (and the first one)! If you are interested in supporting me in other ways, I have a Ko-Fi link. ya girl has been behind on bills for two months and i've got a dog to feed, and every little bit helps <3

Chapter 5: I've Got The Magic In Me

Gale stared at Astarion in disbelief. “That’s not possible. Are you sure?” 

“Positive. I know what magical blood tastes like; I’ve drunk enough blood from our former enemies to know. Plus, Fallon does have some magical power, even if she prefers a blade. The magic in her blood is faint, though. Yours…it’s strong. Really strong.” 

Gale ran his hands over his face and through his hair. “How is this possible?”

Astarion shrugged. “Didn’t you conjure Tara as a child because your parents wouldn’t let you have a cat?” 

Another wave of surprise washed over Gale, but it was a different kind of surprise. Gale was certain he told his companions that story very early into their adventure together, around the time they met Arabella, in fact. Astarion was the picture of indifference when it came to Gale on a good day. The fact that he remembered at all…Gale was touched. “You remembered that?” 

“Don’t read into it, darling, it’s not every day someone admits they were so petulant as a child that they conjured an extraplanar cat to defy their parents.” Astarion smirked. 

Gale rolled his eyes. “Tara isn’t a cat, she’s a–”

“A tressym , yes, yes, whatever. Did you or did you not conjure her before you had started studying The Weave?”

Gale’s head began to spin. “I need to sit down.” he breathed, his tone becoming a little manic.

“You are sitting down.” Astarion pointed out. 

Right. He needed to do something to make his brain cells begin working again so he could process the information being presented to him, and all it could mean. “This doesn’t make sense ,” He muttered again, to no one in particular as he stood, feet moving of their own accord as he began pacing. “When Mystra severed our connection, it’s not just that I stopped feeling her gaze and The Weave. She took away my knowledge of magic. Like I know I used to do magic. I see you and Fallon cast spells, and somewhere in my mind it registers that I’m familiar with what you’re doing, and recognize it as magic, but all of the technical aspects of replicating it are now foreign to me.”

There were so many layers to this revelation, and Gale’s desire to unpack all of the layers with Astarion, of all people, was very low. If he were being honest with himself, there was even a small part of Gale that resented the fact that Astarion was the one who figured out Gale still had magical abilities, because it meant Astarion could lord it over Gale, if Astarion wished. 

Astarion shifted uncomfortably, as though he wanted to be the person having this conversation with Gale as little as Gale did. “Maybe you should sleep on it,” Astarion suggested hesitantly. “It’s been quite the evening.” 

“Yeah,” Gale breathed, still pacing. “Yeah. I’ll– I’ll sleep on it. We can talk to Fallon about it in the morning; see what she thinks.” 

Astarion nodded and stood from his spot on the log. “Look, I don’t know nearly as much about magic as you do, but I know enough to know that no wizard with zero formal training could have conjured a tressym before even hitting puberty,” Astarion pointed out as he walked towards his tent. He stopped right before entering and turned to look at Gale. “Surely the fact that magic came so naturally before Mystra appeared to you means something.”

“Right. Right.” Gale said quietly to himself as Astarion disappeared. “Sleep is good. Sleep will clear my mind, and then I can make sense of this.” 

Gale did not sleep. On the contrary, he tossed and turned until the sun broke across the horizon. He still had magic in his blood; strong magic, even, if Astarion was to be believed. Perhaps that was part of why Gale was having such a hard time hearing this news: the one to deliver it wasn’t exactly someone he trusted, or could really even call a friend anymore. On the other hand, precisely because they were not really friends, Astarion had no motivation to give Gale any sort of false hope by lying.

Mystra, on the other hand, had every reason to lie to Gale; to make him believe from the start that the only way for him to access magic was through her. It all went back to his theory about the Karsite Weave, how controlling it and becoming a god was his true destiny. Mystra was quick to shut that line of thought down, to threaten him should he try to go through with his plans… had she known that he didn't need her to use magic, that he’d always possessed the innate ability? Even now that his connection to her was severed, Gale still felt the guilt lingering in his chest as he silently accused Mystra of something so severe. She wasn’t even his goddess anymore, and yet Gale still felt his thoughts to be sacrilegious. He scowled to himself, frustrated that Mystra still had that effect on him. 

He remained in his tent until he heard the sounds of someone else moving about the camp. Gale dressed quickly and went to greet them, hopeful that it was Fallon who was moving around so he could talk to her about this entire situation. Fallon was the only person Gale wanted to discuss it with, if he were being honest with himself. When he was met with the sight of Astarion, protected from the dawn rays in his now-typical head to toe all black attire, Gale did his best to suppress the disappointment that filled his chest.

“How’s Fallon?” Gale asked as he approached to rummage through their supplies at the center of their camp for breakfast items. Normally he and Fallon ate lighter in the mornings, sticking to fruit and maybe a bit of toast, but the elf needed to regain her strength, and Gale would force her to eat a hearty breakfast if he had to. 

“She’s awake– moving slower than usual, but awake.” Astarion replied, relief shining in his eyes from under the hood. Gale nodded in approval, feeling the same way. 

Arabella was next to emerge for breakfast and demanded to cook for them all, forcefully pushing Gale away from the campfire as she set to work.

“I thought we were even.” Astarion teased, and Arabella shook her head. 

“We will be after this meal, so just shut up and let me work.” She demanded, and Gale exchanged looks with Astarion, both men shaking their heads with exasperation. Her attitude reminded Gale of Fallon: determined to help whether or not you asked, and you were going to accept her help whether you liked it or not. Pride swelled in Gale’s chest. He’d always thought Fallon would be a good mother– her influence on Arabella was just proof of that. 

Fallon finally made an appearance as Arabella finished plating their breakfast, a bright smile on her face as she joined them all around the campfire. “This smells great, LaLa.” Fallon complimented, using the old term of endearment she’d coined for Arabella once upon a time. 

Arabella rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. “Gods, I’d forgotten about LaLa .” 

Gale squirmed in his seat as he picked at his breakfast, his racing mind and lack of sleep made him not terribly hungry. It probably would have been more tactful of him to wait until Fallon had at least half a mug of coffee before filling her in, but Gale’s anxiety wouldn't let him be silent that long. 

“It’s not often I’m at a loss for words, but uh, something….strange happened last night after the two of you went to bed.” Gale started. 

“Oh we’re doing this now .” Astarion quipped. 

“Doing what now?” Fallon asked, her brow furrowed. 

“Astarion, would you like to explain, or shall I?” Gale asked nervously, wringing his hands. “Actually no, you explain it, because I’m still trying to understand it.” 

“Why do I feel like you’re about to tell us you kissed or something?” Arabella joked and Fallon looked alarmed, her head snapping towards Astarion as she waited for an explanation. 

Gale’s eyes widened and his cheeks turned the slightest shade of pink. “Erm, no. That’s— that’s not what happened.” 

“Did you almost kiss? You’re blushing, so I had to—“

“LaLa, let them speak ,” Fallon chastised. “What happened, Astarion?”

Astarion sighed heavily, making a mental note to tease Gale for blushing later. “Last night, Gale offered to let me drink from him on the days I don’t feed on you, and, given that it would be beneficial to all of us for me to be at my strongest—especially after last night— I agreed to his offer,” 

Astarion carefully left out the part where he and Gale agreed that this arrangement was necessary for Fallon’s protection, as Astarion was still of the mind that his lover would not be happy about it if she knew the true reason. 

“When I did, though, I tasted magic in Gale’s blood. A lot of magic.”

Fallon’s jaw went slack, and she set down her half-empty plate. “But Mystra took his magic.”

“Can we all please stop bringing that particularly painful point up?” Gale sighed. 

“Mystra took your magic? Shit, Gale, I’m so sorry. What did you do?” Arabella gasped, and Gale ran his hand over his face, sighing again. 

“A story for another time, little one.” Gale explained. 

Arabella pouted and opened her mouth to argue, but she closed it again when she made eye contact with Fallon, who shook her head at the teenager. 

“How?” Fallon asked. 

“I have a theory.” Astarion answered. 

“And that is…”

“Gale’s not a wizard.”

“You think he’s a sorcerer?” Arabella chimed in, and Astarion nodded. Fallon raised her eyebrows in surprise, and Astarion watched as she did the mental gymnastics to figure out if his theory had any merit. 

“You know… it would make sense… it would certainly explain the Tara of it all…” She mused.

“I said the same thing.” Astarion agreed. 

“Except that I don’t even know how to test this theory of yours, so we may never actually find out.” Gale replied, still stunned at the idea he could still have magical powers. 

Astarion gave Gale a wry stare. “Yes, how could we possibly find out if you still have the ability to do magic? Certainly not by trying to perform magic, that’s just out of the question.” 

Arabella snorted with laughter, but quickly stopped once she saw Fallon’s glare. “Sorry.” She apologized quietly. 

Gale blinked “...right. Well, I suppose I could give it a try? A simple dancing lights cantrip wouldn’t hurt anyone.” Gale stood up and shook out his arms and hands, as though trying to warm himself up after not having done magic of any kind in almost a month. 

“Take your time, Gale.” Fallon encouraged him gently. 

Despite himself, Astarion couldn’t help but reach for Fallon’s hand and grip it with his own hopefully. Having a sorcerer on their side would be extremely helpful, especially once Gale learned how to use the magic properly. Assuming he truly had it to begin with. 

Gale looked at Arabella sheepishly. “I may need you to remind me of the incantation.” 

Arabella happily stood up and walked over to Gale, walking him through the motions and repeated the incantation. Once Arabella was sitting back on the log (and out of harm’s way, in case things went poorly), Gale closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and went through the movements Arabella showed him. He spoke the incantation quietly, not confidently, as though he was afraid it would fail. Afraid of disappointment. 

Only,... it didn’t. 

Suddenly, there were four distinct orbs of light glowing around Gale, waiting for his bidding. Gale opened his eyes, a look of shock on his face. Then, slowly, the look turned to one of elation as his eyes darted from Astarion, to Arabella, then landing on Fallon. “Are you seeing this? Elminster’s pants, I’ve done it! I– I can still do magic!” 

Arabella cheered, and Fallon looked as though she might cry. Astarion beamed beneath his face covering. “I knew it. Gale, you’re not a wizard. You never were– you’re a sorcerer .” 

“A sorcerer. My goodness, I never would have thought. I wonder what else I can do?” Gale dismissed the orbs of light and began to focus again. This time, he went through the familiar motions of casting Fire Bolt (easy to remember from watching the elves cast it recently) and aimed for the tree line. Gale bellowed the incantation and a bright burst of flame shot from his hands and flew through the air. Gale cheered with Astarion and the others, but the celebration only lasted a moment. In a single instant a different type of magic materialized, and whizzed towards Astarion, hitting him squarely in the chest. 

The world around the vampire began to twist and contort, and suddenly he was looking up at Gale, and the sorcerer was standing over him like a giant. Gale stared at Astarion in shock, but his expression very quickly turned into one of mirth, before laughing uncontrollably. Moments later, Arabella was cackling so hard she fell off the log, and Fallon’s face was contorted in a mix of amusement and pain as she desperately tried not to laugh, likely due to her healing abdomen wound. 

“What the devil have you done to me?” He demanded, but it was not his voice he heard when addressing Gale. It was a series of angry meows. Astarion looked down at his hands, and they were not his. They were white, fluffy paws. It seemed that not only was Gale a sorcerer, but he was a wild magic sorcerer. 

And he’d unintentionally turned Astarion into a cat.

Chapter List

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #gale #astarion #bg3 fanfic #female tav #astarion x female tav #astarion x tav #astarion x gale x tav #bloodweave #astarion x gale #bg3 fan fic #bg3 fanfiction #baldur's gate 3 fan fic #baldur's gate 3 fanfiction

[spamlets]

heyyyy…. its been a while 😅 somehow i’m still into rain world despite it being a few months since i joined the fandom haha (usually my hyperfixations only last a couple of weeks)

enjoy some iterator ocs as compensation, + some informational blurbs about them!!

they all occupy a single hand-shaped mega-superstructure that sits at the top of a giant space-elevator. so! spacerators!

this whole thing was something of a big study in character design and fabric, and im soo happy with how it turned out. the writing on the shirts of SotA and CotV are letters from daszombes’ iterator logs alphabet chart btw <3

please send me asks about them, i love them very very much they r my little guys

#rain world #rain world iterator #iterator oc #the virgo superstructure #<- general tag for this au/oc thing

[copperbadge]

Review: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

I am still trying to log my reading more diligently! And this one is the latest. Now there’s a title that makes it tough to recommend to people without a lot of disclaimers. :D

My psychiatrist is a specialist in medication management, and while he does see patients therapeutically, I’m not one of them; he sees me to prescribe ADHD medication and make sure I’m not having side-effects or misusing it. But of course part of the meeting is just chatting so he can gauge my behavior for himself, and in our last meeting we got onto the topic how I haven’t told my parents about my diagnosis because I don’t think any good can come of it. After explaining my somewhat complex relationship to my mother and stepfather, who I love but who also can be difficult, he recommended Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents (subtitle: “How to heal from distant, rejecting, or self-involved parents”) by Lindsay Gibson. 

It’s kind of a shame the book title is so direct, because I think my mother could actually really use to read it, but if you recommend a book like that to your parents it means you also read it and that...does not send a super great message about how you feel about them. 

I did a lot of highlighting.

Although, in the end, not for the reasons one would think. In part, while I recognized parental behaviors described in the book, I also recognized behaviors in myself. About halfway through, especially when Gibson was writing about how emotionally immature parents generally come from emotionally immature parenting themselves, I had to stop and think, “Oh. Maybe this is also me.” Fortunately I’m not a parent nor likely to become one, but it’s still a bit of a hard truth to see yourself in that kind of thing. I’m not much one to cause drama, at least not intentionally, and I try to be a generally good and emotionally supportive friend, but some of the stuff -- shallow emotional affect, difficulty with empathy and intimacy, anxiety surrounding strong emotion and personal relationships -- landed kind of close to home. 

The problem with self-help books and books like this which are on the edge of the self-help genre is that they tend to be written very structurally. They have a specific way of being, which if you’re already part of the way to the conclusions they’re presenting (or familiar with the scammier ones) can be less helpful. For one, because they are aimed at people who tend to be wounded and confused, they lay out whatever they’re discussing in a very systematized way, and human behavior often defies systems. I was seeing aspects of behavior in my parents and myself here and there, but none of us fit into the categories the book lays out. Most people won’t fit precisely, but being an outlier doesn’t really help. 

And, honestly, the case studies that are meant to resonate tended not to, simply because I looked at them and went “Oh, that person was abused. Those behaviors happened to me, but not at that level, and not in those ways.” I struggled too with the “workbook” aspects, where you’re asked to answer specific questions or make a list of things. One of the questions was “I wish people would just ______” where you fill in the blank, and like...I don’t have wishes like that. I’m still trying to figure out what I would even put there. Not stand in front of bus doorways so often? Stop voting Republican? I suspect that’s not what they’re reaching for.   

And when you get a little distance on stuff like the categories and case studies, what you start to see is a book that, like many books in this vein, could be half the length it is. So much of this book is designed to cause a resonance with the reader and then reinforce and reinforce and reinforce that resonance -- there’s a lot of repetition of theme in order to pull someone emotionally further and further into the book, meanwhile not really presenting new information, just the same information framed within a different anecdote. I don’t condemn that; it’s what you have to do to sell the book, and to sell the ideas within it to some people. Otherwise it’s not super publishable, and I get that. But once you see the manipulation going on it’s hard not to react poorly to it. 

A shorter, more informative book wouldn’t necessarily appeal to people who are pulled into the book via those reinforcements, but I started to do a lot of skimming because I knew I could. In that sense it’s a fast read, but I’m sure I missed some information here and there. 

And the real problem is that the solutions presented for how to deal with emotionally immature parents as an adult are all things I was already doing, which after all the emotional build of earlier was quite disappointing. The reason I’m capable of having a pretty positive relationship with my parents is that I know how to handle them without taking too much psychic damage, enough that it’s worth maintaining a relationship, and apparently that’s as good as it’s going to get. There’s a lot healing from the harm inflicted just in those behaviors, but also for anyone wanting to DIY the rest, there’s not much good advice -- it circles back around to “Go to therapy and heal your childhood wounds” which is fine, I guess, but not a super executable solution for me. It reminded me powerfully of reading a book about autism when I was younger; there was a chapter about resources for family members of people with autism, and within that chapter there was one paragraph about siblings. I can give it to you in a sentence: “Asking your neurotypical child to help their autistic sibling is very character-building and will teach them responsibility.” Sure, but could we not dig for something a little deeper?

So, insightful book, potentially very useful if you do have a fraught relationship with your parents, but unfortunately not terribly helpful to me personally. Still, worth getting out of the library. 

#book reccs #parental relationships

[kiyocuck]

kiyotaka tumblr user ramble

was thinkinf about this yesterday and i think ive cracked the idea of taka having tumblr, im an absolute genius and you will hear me out Okay

basically hes like a gimmick tumblr account that got famous for posting specific stuff and being Odd about it

the things he posts are like 5000 word posts just talking about his day in excruciating detail, talking about his studies and whatnot. it feels *weird* reading it bcuz hes describing oddly specific things like what he uses to clean his boots or whatever but its still Somewhat normal-ish.

he gets asks and replies to them with some unrelated tangent, some people ask him if hes autistic and hes like That is a very interesting question, I have actually done research in my spare time, because alot of my acquaintances are on the "Spectrum", and one of them, who thinks hes some 'Overlord of Ice', threw his pet hamsters at me and they scratched me on the face, and I had to go to the nurse in case he did not vaccinate them, I did not want to get rabies potentially, and-

basically letting his thoughts out without needing to sound like hes lecturing someone, he treats his blog like a diary and barely even realizes just how much attention he gets bcuz he logs in to post and then logs out

Occasionally, however, he will post something like "I cannot do this anymore I hate my life" and right after that he will post again "Apologies for the previous post, I was unmedicated, I am okay now. Anyway," and start talking about his studies again or whatever. and the funniest part is that he will not delete any sudden episode posts like that. he knows he can delete posts, but he doesnt think its worth hiding anything, which is why if he makes One grammar mistake in the 4 pages essay long posts, he will just reblog it correcting the ONE error like "*you're. I misspelled, sorry." and you are left to go look for that mistake he made in the first place

he will occasionally turn his posts into vents or nonsensical rambles like "I was reading a book about self-care recently, it was very informing. One of the chapters said 'It's important to have people in your life to support you'. Why does no one love me? Who should I rely on for support? What is wrong with me?" and people will reblog it like OP are you alright you can talk to us:( and he'll be like I'm perfectly okay dont ask me questions please (<-about to have another episode)

this turned out a bit depressive but take it in a funny way okay i just like to think about him alot even though i hate him and want him to die again by My hands

#danganronpa #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #kiyotaka ishimaru #danganronpa 1 #danganronpa post idk #should i mention now i headcanon him having bpd or #kiyotaka ishimaru bpd haver is real if you think about it SAME AS MONDO IM SO SMART GUYS

[lu-is-not-ok]

Do you do psychoanalyzing on other characters besides Yi Sang and Hong Lu? If so I’d like to hear you talk about Don and Faust, and why you think they share 2 egos (Telepole and Fluid Sac)

I mean! I can certainly try! Hong Lu and Yi Sang are just. I guess my field of expertise??? Since I care the most about those two??? But I can certainly try to analyze some other characters, though it might not be able to be as specific and detailed as I am when analyzing my favorites. Hope you understand!

Now then. Let's do this. Under cut we go as usual.

Fluid Sac

Let's start with the one we know less about, aka Headless Ichthys. In fact, we know... very, very little about Headless Ichthys.

Due to Meursault being the one to write the logs about this abnormality, we only get information on its physical characteristics, such as it having lost its head, and that there's something inside its sack that is said to bear resemblence to either a flower or a human nervous system.

That's it. That's all the definitive info we have on this abnormality. We can assume that it has Some religious significance due to its name, Ichthys, being the name of a religious fish symbol, but that doesn't help too much.

There is something interesting I want to note here, and that's the thing inside its sack. The fact that it's unclear whether it resembles a flower or a human nervous system is interesting... Because that mimics what Lunacy looks like. While Lunacy is described as rose-shaped by its Inventory description, the full Lunacy icon can also be interpreted as a brain on a brainstem.

I suppose, if you wanted to dig deep enough, the implications of it containing a symbol akin to Lunacy and having lost its head could could be interpreted as the abnormality being a symbol of a descent into madness. Which, honestly, that's the best I got from what little we have.

Because of just how little lore we have on the Headless Ichthys, unfortunately I can't go too in depth on Don and Faust with it in mind... But I'll still try.

Fluid Sac is a Gloom E.G.O, and though Gloom is one of those Sins I'm not entirely sure of, it does seem to represent taking actions due to one's built up negative emotions.

The main base E.G.O examples we have are Snagharpoon, which has Ishmael follow her compulsion to keep searching for "That bastard", and Land of Illusion, which implies that Hong Lu retreats from reality into his own dream world under heavy emotional stress.

As such, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Fluid Sac signifies something that caused horrible emotional stress to both Don and Faust, which would then kickstart their descent into madness. In more specific terms, this would be heroic delusions for Don and single-minded mad scientist-esque pursuit of knowledge for Faust.

As a brief sidenote, this would align quite well with the visual design differences between the two. Though the E.G.O outfits they wear are extremely similar, all the way down to both of them having green tints in their hair and fin decorations in the exact same spots, there are two notable differences.

One - the shape of the weapon. Don's weapon is shaped like a miniature Headless Ichthys clutching onto a perfectly round sack-orb. It looks almost more like a toy rather than a weapon. Faust's weapon is not only shaped almost perfectly like Headless Ichthys's sack, it also seems to have the same properties, as it bursts during Faust's Awakening attack animation.

Two - the article of clothing that mimics the Ichthys's hand-flippers. For Don, it's a cape-like piece of clothing that looks more like something you'd see on a kid's hero costume. For Faust, it's seemingly anatomically-correct recreations of the flippers that are attached to her jacket.

Both of those I think reinforce the idea of Don and Faust indulging in their methods of madness. Child-like obsession with heroism for Don (using toys and costumes), and endless scientific pursuits for Faust (only someone studying the abnormality closely could replicate its anatomy in this much detail).

It's a bit hard to tell anything from their dialogue lines as they are somewhat generic (my unrelated theory on that is that Fluid Sac is one of the first E.G.Os designed, based on its dialogue lines not having much to do with its abnormality, and due to its attack animations being uncharacteristically sparse in actual frame-to-frame animation), but they do seem to work as good reflections of Don and Faust in general.

Their Awakening lines seem to reflect their general attitudes, with Don's being jovial yet quick to resort to violence, and Faust's being self-assured and seemingly trying to predict all outcomes.

Their Corroded lines on the other hand could be a reflection of their attitudes after their descent into madness began. Don's single-minded "...Crush them." could be a reflection of how she views morality as black and white, and thus believes all that she considers 'villains' should be crushed by her. Likewise, Faust's line here implies that she's willing to do anything, even leave herself completely empty by 'disgorging everything', if it means she reaches what she's looking for.

Looking at the Sin Resources, both Faust and Don require Gloom and Lust to use Fluid Sac, and while Don also uses Pride, Faust uses Envy instead.

I already mentioned what I think Gloom means for Fluid Sac, and I think it being a requirement further reinforces it here. Both Don and Faust need to be acting under severe emotional stress to start their descent into madness.

Lust as a sin seems to represent acting according to one's desires, or more specifically, indulging in them. It also tends to have slight spiritual connotations in Limbus, making it the Sin of acting for the sake of some form of personal fulfillment as well.

Using it for Fluid Sac would make sense with the descent into madness interpretation. For both Don and Faust, their forms of madness are them overindulging in something they find personally fulfilling - heroism for Don, science for Faust.

Don's unique Sin requirement here is Pride. I already went into detail on what Pride as a Sin means in Limbus in the Dimension Shredder post, but to recap, Pride represents actions taken for their personal benefits, while ignoring their negative consequences on either other people or oneself.

This very much represents Don's madness quite well. Her heroic acts are rooted in what she personally perceives as doing good, and she completely ignores the collateral damage that she may cause in the process. Her willful ignorance of the harm she inflicts on others is one of the main things that led her to her personal form of madness.

Faust's unique Sin requirement here is Envy. Now, I won't go into detail on Envy just yet, as it's better saved for Telepole, but in very basic summary, it represents actions done in reaction to other people and their actions.

While there is still much we don't know about Faust, the inclusion of Envy as a requirement for her Fluid Sac implies that the root of her madness actually comes from someone else. There's not enough info for us to speculate on more details... but something tells me this might have to do with a certain Faustian Bargain, if you catch my drift.

So, that's Fluid Sac! For something with so little to dissect, it ended up leading to quite a good bit of analysis anyway! Call me Game Theory cause I'm about to put MatPat out of a job.

Telepole

Alright, let's once again start with the abnormality itself - Alleyway Watchdog.

The funny thing is that the Watchdog has the opposite problem to the Ichthys, as while the fish had very little lore, the Watchdog has a decent amount, but it's written by Yi Sang and as such it's hard to tell how much of its logs are facts, and how much is Yi Sang being Yi Sang and projecting onto the dog.

If there is one thing that is a definitive fact, it's that lack of being able to control oneself and being unable to tell who is controlling who is a recurring theme for this abnormality. The fact that it's unclear if the dog is in control of its own actions calls back to it, and the further muddling of what actually is in control of it only further adds to that theme.

It's unclear if the charred person on its back is controlling the dog, or if it's simply along for the ride unable to do anything to stop it, or if it is also under the control of something else. It's unclear if electricity is what is directly controlling the dog, or if it's something Yi Sang is projecting onto it due to his own experiences.

With that in mind, let's look at the three Sinners who have this E.G.O - Don, Faust, and Heathcliff. Now, I won't be looking at Heathcliff's case too closely, since this is meant to focus on Don and Faust, but I will be bringing him up when talking about Telepole on a general level, so that we have the biggest sample size possible.

In this case, having the Telepole E.G.O would imply these three have some issues when it comes to control, whether it's they themselves lacked control in their life, or whether it's their own degree of perceived control isn't as it seems. Since neither of those three have had their Cantos released yet, it's impossible for me to tell what exactly is going on here, but this is something to keep in mind.

Now, let's talk about Envy, as that's the Sin damage that all of the Telepoles deal. Envy appears to represent actions one takes as a reaction to what others do. This can take any form, whether it's revenge or following orders or being provoked or anything really. What's important here is that the action taken is a Direct Response to someone else.

The only base E.G.O that deals Envy damage is Heathcliff's Bodysack, which represents his impulsive and likely violent reaction to whatever Cathy did to him.

This all fits very nicely with the nature of Alleyway Watchdog, and Telepole E.G.O as a whole. The Watchdog's actions are all reactions to something else controlling it. Likewise, those using the Telepole E.G.O have their actions be influenced or even controlled by someone else.

Their Awakening lines (since there's nothing to analyze when it comes to their Corroded howls I don't think) all reflect a certain part of their personality, potentially implying that something about that is due to the influence of someone else.

Heathcliff's line expresses his impulsively violent tendencies, Don's ties back to her blind heroism, and Faust's has a clinical, detached feel to it.

As for Sin Resources, both Faust and Heathcliff use Envy, Wrath, and Lust, while Don exchanges Lust for Gloom.

Envy as a Sin Resource here once again ties back to the themes of control, implying that for all three, the actions they take are not entirely Just their own. Whether it's provokation or suggestion or something else, for all three of them, their actions are being encouraged, if not directly controlled, by someone else entirely.

Wrath is... hard to analyze. Partially because on first glance it seems to act as a shorthand for fire damage, and partially because no base E.G.O deals Wrath damage. My best guess based on other E.G.Os is that Wrath represents actions done out of self-righteousness. It's the "I deserve to do this, I DARE to do this." of Sins, in my opinion.

It's not necessarily tied to literal anger, as its name might imply, but rather a deeper reason that usually leads to anger - that being the idea that something should or shouldn't happen simply because you wish it so. After all, the most common reason for anger is for something to not go your way. Think children throwing tantrums over their toy being taken away, or a gamer smashing their keyboard over getting outplayed.

With all that being said, Wrath being used for Telepole could have several meanings. It could represent defiance, the idea that the Sinners act out because they believe they deserve better than the person trying to control them. It could also represent temptation, falling under someone else's control or provokation due to believing that they deserve something they don't have or to do something they can't without falling for it.

Now onto the more unique Sin resource requirements. Faust and Heathcliff both require Lust, a Sin representing indulging one's desires and seeking personal fulfillment. This would fit both Heathcliff and Faust, as their Telepoles seem to allude to the things they are already impulsive about - mindless violence for Heathcliff, and pursuit of knowledge for Faust. The actions they are being controlled or provoked to do are things they already wish to indulge in. Perhaps in their case, they are specifically being tempted into doing something, rather than being directly forced.

This however, is different for Don. Don's Telepole requires Gloom, which is a Sin representing actions done out of succumbing to negative emotions. This paints the actions she's controlled or provoked into comitting in a different light. Unlike Heathcliff or Faust, she isn't being tempted by personal fulfillment. No, in her case it's an expression of emotional stress. Perhaps in her case the control is much more forceful, causing her to act out, or perhaps her actions are a reaction to something bad happening to someone she knows. Either way, it's quite intriguing to note.

Unlike my Fluid Sac analysis, which I could get a little bit more detailed on thanks to touching on a facet of Don and Faust's personalities that are clearly evident, Telepole seems to more so reference their pasts, something that as of right now we simply have no access to.

I expect reaching Heathcliff's Canto will help a ton in this specific case, as it will help analyze the rest of the Telepoles thanks to being able to compare what it seems to reference in his revealed past to potentially similar events in both Don and Faust's pasts.

#limbus company #limbus company project moon #don quixote #don quixote lcb #faust #faust lcb #lcb analysis #fluid sac ego #telepole ego #ask #anon #lu speaketh #the only reason this one is longer is because i did two egos in one post

[kerubimcrepin]

Live-Read: "Dofus Manga" - part 1

(But only the bits with Atcham, Kerubim, or Joris.)

I'm sure that someday, I will read this comic. That day is not today, though. Today, we are looking for jurgencrepin content within it. Which isn't a lot, but it is present.

Firstly, I would like to note, that there is an appearance of proto-Kerubim and proto-Khan, in one of the volumes in the 2010-2013 time frame, as figurines. (the guy next to them is not Joris, but a whisperer.)

I do not know which volume, because I do not want to search for them.

To be exact, it seems to be the same proto-Kerubim, as the one that appears in this video, depicting one of the early drafts of the movie. (In this one, I am pretty sure Joris was still meant to be a homeless orphan. And Lilotte was always planned to be either a rogue, a princess or both at the same time.)

Now, onto actually canonically relevant appearances of the Jurgen-Crepins

Dofus: Issue 19

In a Brakmarian shop, Katar (guy who killed Goultard's family, idk, too long, don't know french, didn't read, know him from the short Goultard cartoon) sees a sword and wants to buy it.

It was ordered by a "very renowned Brakmarian ecaflip who will literally kill me if I don't sell it to him, he's That passionate about this sword. Please don't touch it," according to the shopkeep. Who is then promptly literally killed by Katar instead.

This will become relevant to us in a few tomes.

It is revealed that the king Clustus Sheran-Sharm has taken a dragon for his queen, — and it is revealed how that happened via a flashback.

NOTE: Clustus is an ancestor of the king Leorictus Sheran-Sharm (insane war-criminal, cause of the huppermage genocide, a probable target for Joris to have murdersuicide fantasies about, lives ~110 years in the future from Clustus), and Amalia and her family (who, in turn, live ~600 years in the future relative to Clustus, and are now the royal family of Sadida kingdom, and not Bonta.

NOTE: We do not know why Sheran-Sharms are now the royal family of Sadida, but, the king of Bonta that followed Leorictus is named Théome Beldarion, and he was put on the throne by Jiva after Bonta was without a ruler for 70-90 years — it is unknown if he is related to Leorictus or the Sheran-Sharm family in general.

Perhaps, all the warcrimes made it quite literally so that the Sheran-Sharm family had to seek political asylum in neighbouring lands after Leorictus's suicide caused the all hell to break loose and the following years of huppermage persecution ensued. But idk man. I'm not Tot Ankama.

By the way, Clustus is mentioned in the show, multiple times, — but this is the most direct reference that came to my mind.

Anyway.

The group of adventurers, — of which both Kerubim and his majesty Clustus were a part of, — wanted to collect the Dofus to hide them, to keep the world safe.

Kerubim and Crail (a guy, from the manga, don't ask me, man) studied under the same master, — Master Nabur, — albeit, in different years, so they hadn't met during their education.

At the comic's time, Master Nabur has passed away somewhat recently.

Kerubim pulls out his stupid anime armor and the hoes get scared. (Because if Kerubim is excited about a battle, one should be scared about it.)

He will keep wearing this armour for the next 600 years. Even as it loses its golden paint completely. Even though it has a huge-ass hole from that one time he got shot and died in it. Talk about dedication...

I regret to inform you, reader, that I still desire him carnally.

He says that "the probability of the logs hitting us is very small".

Things go as usual after he says that.

The king and the dragon fall in love, the dragon turns into a woman, and the two of them pretend that he rescued her from the dragon.

Only Kerubim realizes this lie due to his "strong ecaflip sense of smell" (honestly thinking it might be the whole "has so many luck buffs he can predict the future and be a medium or something" thing. and the demigod thing. Combined.)

He decides not to tell anyone, saying that everyone deserves a chance, while asking the dragon not to betray the trust he puts in her, by making this decision.

Dofus: Issue 21

I love you, Atcham...

Atcham has found the body of the smith and the fact that his sword is gone-gone. He waxes really poetically and neurodivergently about how much he loves swords and how badly the guy who did this is going to pay. Atcham is never beating the "swords are his special interest" allegations.

My headcanon, which ties into my "Atcham is autistic" agenda, is that when he was a child, weapons became his one way to keep himself safe, — so because of that, he developed a strong emotional attachment to them. (Though all of Jurgen-Crepins are very... passionate, about objects. But Atcham is mostly only like that about swords, in canon.)

Anyway, if Joris has the deragatory nicknames like "shorty", "kid", and "lil guy" constantly applied to him, then Atcham's personal never-ending hell nightmare is various combinations of "disgusting" "dirty" and "rat".

His response to being threatened with hanging for not attending Brakmarian political stuff is "uhh i don't give a sssshit?" and calmly correcting them that he is an ecaflip, not a rat. (They don't care, but he will make them care very, very soon.)

He's literally so funny for this. I am in love with him.

#ro liveblogs dofus #dofus #wakfu #krosmoz #kerubim crepin #atcham crepin #dofusmanga

[chemblrish]

Hi! Do you have any tips for studying chemistry? For some reason I cant seem to get all the formulas in my brain.

Hey!

My unhelpful but still favorite advice for shoving formulas into one's brain is to understand them 😅 A purely memorization-based approach is very bad for chemistry.

If the problem seems to be particularly understanding/ remembering formulas:

Ask yourself if this particular formula is just words turned into numbers and mathematical symbols. I think it may not work for everyone, but for example I found it easier to remember the literal definition of pH that is "the negative decimal logarithm of hydrogen ion concentration" rather than "pH = -log [H+]" bc otherwise I'd keep forgetting about the minus sign.

Check if you find deriving a formula from another formula easier than just memorizing it. Again, my personal example is I hate memorizing things so much I never really bothered to remember the equation that describes Ostwald's law of dilution - bc I knew I could easily, quickly, and painlessly derive it from the equilibrium constant for concentration + degree of dissociation (and I've done it so many times now it stuck in my brain anyway).

When all else fails, I turn to mnemotechnics. To this day I remember that Clapeyron's equation goes pV = nRT because many years ago someone on the internet shared a funny sentence whose words start with these 5 letters. The sillier the better.

If the issue is with chemistry in general:

Take it chapter by chapter. Chemistry, like most STEM subjects, is just blocks of knowledge upon blocks of knowledge. For example, if you want to learn electrolysis, you need to understand redox reactions first. Try to identify where the struggle begins and work from there.

Once you've picked a topic you want to work on, follow the reasoning in your textbook. If you get stuck, that might be a sign you're simply missing a piece of information from a previous chapter. If an example comes up, try to solve it along with the tips in the textbook.

If anything remains unclear, it's usually not the best idea to just leave it and move on. If the textbook becomes unhelpful, turn to the internet or maybe a friend. Otherwise, the next chapter may just turn out to be needlessly confusing.

Practice problems practice problems practice problems!! And not just the numerical ones. The theory-based ones where they ask you about reactions, orbitals, the properties of the elements etc. are important too.

Choose understanding over memorizing whenever possible.

Try to look at the big picture: the way certain concepts are intertwined, how one law may be a logical consequence of another law you learnt before, why some concepts are taught together, why you had to learn something else first to get to what you're studying now. Again, as an example, I think it's particularly fun to see towards the end of ochem, somewhere around the biomolecules: you need to integrate your knowledge of aromatic compounds, ketones and aldehydes, alcohols, carboxylic acids... Stack new information upon what you already know.

Study methods I'm a big fan of: spaced repetition, solving past papers (anything I can get my hands on tbh), flashcards for the things I absolutely have to memorize, exchanging questions and answers with a friend, watching related videos.

If by any chance you end up taking pchem, I have a post for that specifically.

I hope you can find something helpful here :) Good luck!

#inbox #chemistry asks

[sasusakucoded]

Sasuke is a famous mangaka. His first two mangas are very popular among readers. He's still studying and thus younger than most mangakas. Due to his fear that his works won't be taken seriously because of his age, he uses a pseuodonym —KuroNeko [BlackCat]. He also wears a black-cat-designed helmet during interviews to hide his identity.

One of his avid fans is Haruno Sakura, a college student taking up History course. She has read his 2 mangas and is hooked with the current one. She keeps on sending him letters about what she thinks of the storyline. Even if she doesn't receive replies, she continues to thank him for creating such masterpiece.

As a History student, she realizes that one of the panels in the manga is not accurate. She writes him a letter as soon as she's sure of her claims.

Dear KuroNeko-san,

I hope you're doing well these days.

It's me again, your #1 reader. I've noticed that you used our emperors as your reference for your manga (which is very cool btw). I just want to note that it's actually Emperor Taisho that had no charisma and not Emperor Meiji. In fact, the latter had many concubines and children.

I hope you can amend the panels so that the manga would be accurate. And I hope this does not offend you in any way. I'm a History student, so historical facts are close to my heart.

Thank you and please continue writing the best manga ever.

PS. Can I send you some snacks? My town makes the best onigiri. I heard that's your favorite, so I think you should try them out.

Sincerely,

Haruno Sakura

Sasuke receives tons of letters everyday. He flips through the pile and notices the pink envelope. He knows already who it's from. "Ah, Miss Haruno. Let's see what she says this time." Sakura's letters, just like the other fanmails, make Sasuke's spirit high whenever he receives them. He reads it and sighs. "Embarrassing. I should've researched more about it." He reports it to his team immediately and they make an erratum statement as soon as the next chapter is released.

Sakura logs into her account to view the new chapter. After the cover page, there's an announcement. "He listened! He corrected the information! Omg.. So KuroNeko-san reads my mails?"

Sakura is ecstatic. Although she doesn't know the manga artist personally, she feels like they're connected now somehow. She reads the announcement again and saves a copy into her phone.

The following week is bad for Sasuke's publishing company. A list of numerous s*xual harassment allegations and drug ab*se come out against the CEO and 3 of the board members. The readers are disgusted and threaten to boycott the company and all the mangas published under it.

Sasuke is nonchalant about the fiasco. For him, it's a way to escape from his current situation. Although he loves to draw and write, he has become tired of it because of the pressure from his management and readers. The only thing that keeps him going is his fans. "If I stop writing, it won't matter much.. They don't know me. I should be fine."

When Sakura learns about the issue, she becomes worried about her favorite mangaka. She looks for more info about it but all she sees are the petitions to close down the company. "Is KuroNeko-san okay? What will happen to him? To his manga?"

Days pass by sooner for the staff and artists. Even Sasuke is now receiving threats from his fans:

"KuroNeko!! I will boycott all your works! You go to hell with your company!"

"You don't deserve the traction that you gained! All of you shall be punished!"

"Jail time for all of you!!"

"Y'all are swines! No one will read your manga now!"

"GO KYS KURONEKO!!"

These threats don't bother Sasuke. Or so he thinks. Although he laughs at them with the other staff, he feels sad deep inside. One of the staff tells him, "they won't understand that it's only the higher ups and not us. It's really stupid. But I think it's really the end for all of us." Sasuke agrees and decides to post another announcement on the manga's website.

Hello! This is KuroNeko.

Sadly, this work of mine will be discontinued. Thank you for your support throughout the years.

Farewell and till then!

Everyone is shocked —both his management and fans can't believe what they're reading. Sasuke's decision is questioned by his agent. He answers him firmly, "what's the point of clearing up my name? One, they don't know me. And two, they won't believe my statement anyway.. It's okay. I quit."

Sakura cries after seeing the announcement. She feels so bad for him. She quickly pens him another letter. She can only imagine what he went through to decide to stop writing. "It must be the threats!" she thinks. "Some people are asses! They keep on harassing him, that's why!"

It's been a week. The publishing company closed down. There's no news about the mangas or the artists. It's as if all of them didn't exist.

Sakura has been down and is not able go to her classes for the past three days. Her mother is worried but Sakura assures her that she'll be fine. She rereads the completed works of KuroNeko to comfort herself.

Sasuke goes back to their building to get his remaining things. "Sasuke-san, don't forget to take the mails with you." He really intends to leave them. "You can throw them away. They're all threats and angry letters anyway," he answers. The guard is about to put them in a bin when Sasuke sees a pink envelope protruding from the pile.

"Wait, I'll take this one. Thanks. The rest, you can trash."

He opens the envelope as soon as he gets home. "What am I thinking? She's probably mad at me too."

Dear KuroNeko-san,

Are you well? I really hope so.

I saw the announcement.. I also heard the news and I really feel bad for you and the staff. I know you're innocent. I'm sure of it.

While I'm deeply saddened, I understand and support your decision. I wish you all the best, whatever path you may choose to take.

And always remember, if KuroNeko-san has millions of fans, I'm one of them. If KuroNeko-san has 10 fans, I'm one of them. If KuroNeko-san has 1 fan then that's me. If KuroNeko-san has no fans, that means I'm not on Earth anymore. If the world is against KuroNeko-san, then I'm against the world.

I am against the world right now. I am with you, sir. Thank you for everything.

Your #1 fan forever,

Haruno Sakura

Sasuke smiles for the first time after a long time. He hasn't smiled since the news broke out. "Yeah. As long as my #1 fan still supports me, I'm good. Life's good."

He decided to finish the manga for her. He even named the new character 'Sakura'. He's happy continuing the manga that he doesn't realize how fast he gets the chapters done. He realizes that it's still his passion and wants to pursue it again when he gets older.

He goes to the address on the envelope to personally drop the copy to Sakura.

When he sees the unit number, he puts down the envelope at the foot of the door and leaves. Sakura happens to see it soon as she's about to go out to buy some snacks. Her hands are shaking when she sees the name at the back. "K-KuroNeko-san?" She turns some pages and realizes it's the complete version of the manga. She leaves the package inside and runs outside to find him.

She's looking everywhere but there's no trace of a man. In her head, KuroNeko is a middle-aged man who wore a modern kimono, just like what he wears during interviews. "I lost him.."

She sits on the park bench to rest. She sees a guy eating some onigiri and asks him, "excuse me, sorry for disrbing you.. Have you seen a man wearing a kimono? Like a modern one?"

Sasuke looks at her and answers quickly. "No, sorry."

That voice is too familiar. "Is this good-looking guy the one who wrote my favorite mangas?" she contemplates. She moves in closer and says, "K-KuroNeko-san?"

Sasuke is taken aback that he drops his onigiri. "Sakura? I– I mean Miss Haruno?"

Sakura hugs him tightly and starts crying. "Why did you– Is it really you?" She realizes what she's done and pulls away quickly. "Sorry! Sorry! I just got excited.. I didn't think you're my age!"

"You thought I'm old? And wears a modern kimono all the time?" Sasuke laughs but quickly apologizes for his decision to discontinue. "Sure, the threats took a toll on me. But it's also a personal decision to walk away from writing. Sorry for that."

"I told you I will support you no matter what."

"Yeah. Thank you. Your letter kept me going."

"Of course! I'm forever yours! I– I mean I'm forever your #1 fan!" She's so embarrassed of what she just said. "Can I invite you over? I want to thank you for giving me a copy. Tomorrow, are you free?" Again, she's embarrassed that he might think she's liberated. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound—"

"I'm free. I'll come over."

---

Sakura is able to finish the manga in one sitting. She's about to reread it when a piece of paper fell from the parcel.

To my #1 fan, Miss Haruno,

Thank you for always being there for me. It makes me happy every time I see a pink envelope addressed to me. Those kept me going, especially the last one.

Honestly, I had no plans of finishing the story.. Until I saw your letter and realized that I still have a reader and I owe the ending to that person. So, I finished it for you. It's your prize for being my #1 supporter. You're the only person with a copy, so I hope you'll like the story as much as I do.

I wish you well and I am forever grateful to have someone like you as a fan. I'll never forget you, Miss Haruno.

Your manga artist,

KuroNeko / Uchiha Sasuke

"Uchiha Sasuke? That's his real name? Wait.. So, he completed this for me? And I'm the only one who knows the ending aside from him? And he named the new character 'Sakura' who ended up with the main character 'Sasuke'?" Sakura giggles at the thought. She re-reads the note again, smiling widely at the message.

Her mother interrupts her thoughts, "the boy who's coming over.. Is he your boyfriend? The food you want to be prepared is a lot." He better be your future husband.

"Oh, how I wish he is.."

"Do you like him?"

"Yeah.." Sakura thinks, "I liked him very much then when I didn't know much about him.. I like him more now that I've met him.. Or is it love?" Sakura catches herself thinking this silly thought and brushes it off instantly.

"What's his name?"

"Sasuke.. Uchiha Sasuke."

---

After one month, Sasuke gives Sakura a one-shot manga.

"Th-This is our story.."

"Yeah."

"And the last page.." Sakura realizes that it's the same place where they are. She reads the speech bubble in the last panel with her eyes. "Sasuke-kun—"

"Will you be mine, Miss Haruno?"

"Yes! Of course! I've always been yours," she hugs him and they share a passionate kiss.

#sasusaku #sasusaku au #sasusaku fanfic #sasusaku fanfiction #sscoded no 239

[punishing-eden]

Yours Truly, Your Senior...

Human Au

Langston Smith (Human! Chrome) x Reader

Summary:

Whatever the cost maybe, you cannot fail. Perfection is a must, even if you don't have the ability to achieve it, he will do it for you. Because, he's truly your senior.

Tags: Canon divergent, age change (Chrome is 25), Human Au, reader is still a student in F. O. S Military Command College, Bullying to some extent.

Dear Candidates of F.O.S,

Do you feel stressed from your studies? Unmotivated and losing spirits as your final years are approaching? Or you need help in getting through the semesters?

We are happy to announce the F.O.S is hosting an Alumni Seminar for this semester to offer insight and help with our student’s worries. We have invited top graduated alumnus of great esteem to be role models for our candidates.

Esteemed guests:

Commandant Viktor of Babylonia

Dr Marsha of Babylonia Engineering Team

Commandant Langston Smith of Strike Hawk

We are very grateful to have our guest to help lead our candidates towards a brighter future.

There are limited seats for the event, please RSVP at the administration office for a seat.

Hope to see you there!

-Student Council Team

********************************************

Dear Commandant Smith,

We are very grateful for your attendance and participation in our annual Alumni Seminar. The feedback from our students in regards to your seminar was overly positive.

On behalf of the F.O.S body, I sincerely thank you for being the perfect role model for all of our students at the F.O.S. It was a pleasure and we would love to have you back again.

Most sincerely,

-XXXXXXXX

Dean of F.O.S Military Command College

********************************************

Feedback Fourm:

"The seminar is super helpful! I learned a lot from the alumnus. Hopefully, I can be a top graduate!"

-Candidate 1

"I am so excited to see the Commandant of Strike Hawk! He's so smart and cool! When I join Babylonia, I want to work with him!"

-Candidate 2

"Very informative seminar. Thanks to the alumnus' insight and tips, finals don't seems too daunting. Would attend again if Commandant of Strike Hawk is there again."

-Candidate 3

"The seminar is helpful in some way. I am grateful for the Student Council to host this event. However, I feel I could benefited more if the talks tackle about practical study advice to enhance our understanding of the learning material."

- [Y/n]

********************************************

Package delivery to: [Y/n]

Address: Domotriy no. 15, F.O.S Military Command College, XXXXXXXXXXXXXX,XXXXXXXXXXXXXX,XXXXXXXXXXXX

Parcel type: Documents/ Books

Sender: —

Return Address: —

Message:

I heard you have trouble with your studies. I would like to give this to you, something I also used during my time in F.O.S. Hopefully, it can bring you much help.

Yours Truly,

Your Senior

****************************************

Warning Letter!

Addressed to: Langston Smith

Reason: We have noticed your absences in our headquarters. Please request an On-Leave ticket before leaving Babylonia's premises.

****************************************

Library Check out log:

"Anatomy of the Human Brain" - check out time 10:43am, 20/xx/21xx, [y/n]

"Recreational M. I. N. D" - check out time 09:25am, 18/xx/21xx, [y/n]

"Bioengineering basics" - check out time 10:24am, 16/xx/21xx, [y/n]

"Art of war" - check out time 10:30am, 13/xx/21xx, [y/n]

- -

Lecture Hall no. 8 record:

20/xx/21xx: 11:00am- [Guest Card], [y/n]

18/xx/21xx: 11:00am - [Guest Card], [y/n]

16/xx/21xx: 11:00am - [Guest Card], [y/n]

13/xx/21xx: 11:00am - [Guest Card], [y/n]

- -

****************************************

EXAM SCORE BOARD [Sophmore]

1. [Y/N]

2. XXXXXX

3. XXXXXX

.......

****************************************

Comments:

'I hate the finals!' - Candidate 7

'The exam is too hard, who on earth can score a 4.79?! Must be cheating.' - Candidate 10

'Someone got a 4.79... I smell cheating.' - Candidate 34

'Having a rich family must be nice. Buy your way to the top, am I right?' - Candidate 54

>reply:'Really, they are that rich?'

>op reply: IDK, there has to be one explanation right?

'No. 1 = Cheater :)' - Candidate 5

****************************************

Dear Commandant Smith,

Your appeal has been approved.

After a thorough investigation, no violation of academic ingetriy was found. Therefore the case will be dismissed as you requested.

Best,

XXXXXXXXX

F. O. S Examination borad Director

****************************************

CASE REPORT:

Candidate no. XXXXXXXXX

Name: [Y/n]

Status: Third Year

Overall Score: 4.79

Comments:

-Display a massive improvement in academic work.

-Suspicions in Academic Integrity.

CASE RESOLVED

[Dismissed]

***************************************

Standing by a section in the library, you kept your head down as you read the content from the book in your hand. The small whispers behind you had caught your attention for quite some time now.

The gossip and jealous snickering followed you around since you entered your third year in F.O.S Military Command College. During last year’s exam season, your score ranking shot through the top, subsequently taking the spot of “Top Graduate”.

This surprised you greatly, your friends and family all were happy for you. At the same time, this resulted in the inevitable animosity and jealousy of a few classmates around you. Which, in your perspective, you don’t see the reason behind it, other than the rumored new Commandant and Construct team from Babylonia : Grey Raven. News spread through the college like wildfire, a position, that a lot of students in the F. O. S aspire to achieve.

An elite teams comes with an excellent candidate. One has to be perfect. Thus, all eyes were on you, the perfect candidate.

Yet, you are not.

You still make marginal errors. You still need help from time to time. You are just a human like everyone else.

One by one, you picked up the books from the shelves, and went to the automatic scanner to check the materials out. The library was a good place to study, but nowadays you couldn’t help but feel a little isolated by your peers.

However, being liked wasn’t your top priority right now. Your military training was soon coming to an end. After handing in your thesis, exam season came in full swing. It was test after test, and given the timetable of exams, there was a small gap between the lesser exams and the grand final.

Last week, there was a mock final. Much to your dismay, your score made you felt like you were falling short. Were you too proud of yourself? Did you not study enough? Or was you at your best during that day?

Others chose to take a break from the gap, you on the other hand, didn’t want to stop. You need to work harder. Walking out of the campus building, you made your way towards the lecture building, where in one of designated classrooms, your senior, an alumni of the F.O.S, Langston Smith was waiting.

His posture upright, his suit in pristine condition, Langston waited patiently for you to arrive at the designated time. From the window, he can see you jogging your way towards the lecture hall, carrying a number of books from the library. Without a word, he opened the door for you to rush in.

Entering the lecture hall, you tried to catch your breath. The books were hastily placed on one of the desks. It scattered out a little from the friction, and Langston peered over to see which books you got. Involuntarily, his lips curved a little upwards. His heart filled with happiness and pride. He was proud that you managed to get all the necessary study materials he told you to get.

“Just right on time.” He said with a cool yet gentle voice. His attitude should have remained stern, like the Great Commandant of Strike Hawk of Babylonia, Langston Smith. However, with you, he couldn’t help it. He didn’t want to be this cold and demanding Langston Smith.

He wanted to be the reliable, earnest and diligent alumni of perfection. With you, he is not Commandant Smith, nor is he the ‘pedigree’ Langston Smith. With you, he is Langston Smith, your senior.

Your senior, who wants the best for you and will do anything to make you perfect.

“So, shall we begin?” He asked.

You settle down and open your note taking device and other reading material. Diligently looking at your senior, you nodded.

---------------------------------------------------

Author's note:

Got ambitious with this one.

I just thought I it would be interesting to write human constructs.

(C) Punishing Eden

#pgr #punishing gray raven #punishing eden #punishing: gray raven #pgr chrome #pgr x reader #Langston Smith #Human Au

[drgamenstein]

So, going back to some of my older posts about character and setting TTRPGs let's talk about Vampire: the Masquerade. Here's real quick, a fun or stupid way to play each of the 13 clans. First though, if anyone somehow finds this who isn't familiar with the VtM lore, I'll offer a bastardized version of the disclaimer the core rulebook does; there's no such thing as a morally good PC in this game, you're going to be playing as a killer, stalker, monster, however you want to put it. Vampires are monstrous reflections of humanity, and as such can emphasize certain traits that are seen as distasteful or wrong. This isn't an excuse to be an overt and openly bigoted asshole at the table, and no GM or player should ever tolerate real world hate speech at the table when speaking OoC. We cool? Cool.

Ventrue: a new age shop owner, who sells homemade essential oils, skin care products and crystals that mark potential targets for siring based on the virtues each clan upholds. They're cursed blood makes them obsessed with very specific scents, meaning they can't feed on someone unless they're wearing something that makes them smell appealing.

Toreador: a plastic surgeon, who's idea of beauty is the imperfection of the human form. They run a budget clinic and are able to avoid losing their license due to malpractice, because they have a close personal bond with the Nosferatu, and love to skincraft them into an appearance that while still leaving them deformed, could pass as injuries or illnesses, making them less likely to violate the Masquerade. These favors give them connections to blackmail and extort anyone, enough that they can hire a Ventrue lawyer to protect them.

Gangrel: a Pational Park Ranger, who may or may not have connections to many, MANY missing 411 cases. They hold a position of neutrality between almost every faction, by upholding the laws of the Camarilla, by keeping the masquerade intact, while simultaniously cultivating their own open-air human meat restaurant. A safe place for werewolves, and other kindred to engage in their most animalistic urges, without fear of leaving evidence behind.

Malkavian: an autistic dark web information broker, that somehow knows what their customers want long before they even make contact. They have a habit of logging every email, password or other piece of identifying information that pops into their head. Breaking the fourth wall, the player could improve this by listening to business, economics or true crime podcasts during sessions, and talking as if it's a conversation they're having to what's going on at that point in game.

Tremere: a character who wants to form their own autonomous enclave, separate from any form of government be it human or kindred based. This wilderness commune is under constant surveillance by several human law enforcement agencies, and is publicly recognized as a cult, though they are petitioning to be recognized as a religion. They sire high ranking members of their organization, only after several years of indoctrination, at which point the Frog has boiled over and been reduced to a fine broth. The appeal of the cult to outsiders are the opportunity for travel, under the guise of medical and disaster relief efforts. All members are also frequently asked to donate blood for "those in need." Internally they don't believe in any religion, the player could make the argument that Kain wasn't cursed by God, but instead was the first evolutionary offshoot from mankind, and they internally view each vampire clan as related in much the same way as humans are related to other apes. This internalized vampirism racism while a massive negative trait, is effectively used by studying each and every clan solely for the purpose of learning how best to manipulate them.

Bruja: (this one's shorter than all the rest) During life they were a decorated cold war era military veteran, who was honorably discharged with injuries after certain government experiments. After their siring they have dedicated their un-life to spreading good old fashioned western values to the oppressed and impoverished parts of the world as a PMC.

Nosferatu: since almost every nosferatu have the same MO, preferred hiding spots and methods of travel, I think this clan is best defined by they're personality and view of the world. The owner of an Incel forum, who uses it both to unironically post their own thoughts and feelings, but to gather info from their users about all the Chads and Staceys in need of some punishment for their arrogance. They also frequently browse social media, and may or may not be responsible for at least a few throwaway accounts responsible for doxxing public figures. They are an absolute bitch for drama, and spend their downtime binging tea channels and Beauty-tubers but can't see the irony of this hobby.

Lasombre: an old fashioned head of a boston mafia group. He's made a fortune exploiting the working class and extorting the needy for decades, and running a successful shipyard and fishing company. His preferred targets for siring are dock workers, and local gang members that he sees as either beneficial to his criminal empire, or someone that his enemies would hate to lose. He has a unique point of view among most of the kindred, in that he doesn't discriminate among humans, Vampires or oan of the other creatures and organizations around him. They're all of equal value in his eyes, that value being equivalent to a character pip from the Game of Life, meaning tiny l, worthless bits of plastic, that take up space and are only worthy of notice when they directly impact him. His closest friend is actually a human butler, that picks out his clothes, make sure he's in proper order, and takes care of him. He will never sire this friend, as they are fully aware of his true nature and have asked him kindly to not do so. This blatant violation of the masquerade is barely tolerated as an open secret, since covering this particular leak would cause more trouble than just leaving it alone.

Tzimisce: a geneticist, who's network has a hand in every animal centric organization in the world, whether it's pet care, breeding, meat production, pageantry, racing, or law enforcement training, they can somehow be linked to it. They are fascinated by genealogy and genetics, obsessed with the true history of the world and want to prove the lineage of every clan and bloodline, simply for the satisfaction of having that knowledge. They were a successful dog breeder in life and now may or may not be practicing human and clan breeding in secret. They have a strange fascination with the Caitiff, and are regularly observed by many, acting friendly with these undesirables. They have a genuine love for animals, and would never harm any of their precious creatures, but see humans as lower than scum, utterly disgusting parasites hellbent on destroying their precious mother nature. They have no desire to sire an heir, unless eventually forced to do so, have no feelings whatsoever toward the idea of harming humans, seeing their acts as mundane or even justified, and this hatred goes so far that they frequently push themselves to the brink of frenzy just to avoid drinking from these vile creatures. Before their embrace, they had a pet dog that they loved more than anything in the world, but sadly killed during their first frenzy. They keep their friends collar on them at all times, despite the guilt they feel, it's the only thing that gives them comfort and let's them sleep at night.

Hecata: (I thought of this as an experienced player, or storyteller's PC) an elderly person, though not ancient. A member of a long lived and wealthy family dating back possibly to the Methusala. A family man, with an actual family, they sired before their embrace, with the knowledge that they will one day need to make arrangements for their children to be embraced. You take on the role of a mentor figure, teaching them the ways of the kindred, necromancy, and hunting, but are planning to, at the end of their training, have more promising of your spawn, diablerize the other.

Banu Haqim: a vigilante serial killer, think Vampire Punisher, or Dexter. Seeking out rogue kindred who've strayed from their respective code, regardless I'd they're Camarilla, Sabatt, or Anarch. The kindred you hunt are blatant violators of the masquerade and do so without even the little bit of control the Sabatt has over its members. More than anything, they are the biggest threats to kindred society as a whole and expose us all to the threat of human exposure. They are the perfect target for one such as yourself, both as self-proclaimed peacekeepers, and to satiate your own clans curse. It's your solemn duty to ensure that no evidence of kindred society is left behind.

Ravnos: a backpacker, spelunker and base jumper. They are a very popular Social Media personality and travel vlogger that enjoys documenting cave exploration and nighttime adventures into the wilderness. They know all the best tourist spots, what every kind of human blood tastes like, and won't shut the hell up about how they need to take you to Venice to try genuine Venican blood fresh from the source. They have a lot of annoying habits, and frequently humble brag about their enlightened un-life, but are generally good company and easy to get along with. You still wouldn't call them a friend though. They're the type of person that always sleeps over when they visit, but you can never remember them specifically asking if they could crash on your couch.

Ministry: You are a bio-terrorist. After your embrace, you took an interest in medical sciences for all the wrong reasons. Fascinated with your new undeath, and immunity to human illness, you start to question the limits of your new undead body, and decide to push it to new limits, concocting plagues, viruses and diseases and testing them on unsuspecting vampire populations. Occasionally, maybe, sure, some human populations get sick as well, pandemics, happen, and hundreds of thousands die each time you conduct a test, but that's the price of good science.

Caitiff: literally just don't play Caitiff. It's hard to come up with a creative or unique story for this "Clan" since they are effectively nobodies. The best comparison to be made I guess would be that Caitiff are the vampire equivalent of that weird conspiracy theorist who works in retail, has a substance abuse problem and is constantly trying to get you and all his other "work buds" to rise up and unionize against the man, but doesn't have an actual plan or any understanding on how any of that works.

Thin-bloods: Why is this a clan we can pick? Who is picking this one? Don't do it.

#writing #gaming #vampire: the masquerade #world of darkness #ttrpg #character ideas #story concepts #vampire clans

[tokidokitokyo]

2023年8月31日

お久しぶりですね！Hello, I'm still here! My study log has been on a hiatus since the end of May, but I am here to regale you with tales of my Japanese studies. Why the hiatus? The usual suspects: Work, real life (including vacation!) and family had to take some precedence, but I am still here studying behind the scenes.

I feel refreshed from having had to put down my pencil and focus on other things for a while during the month of August, and so I feel rested and refreshed and I don't feel overwhelmed to come back to my studies. I don't feel like I have to catch up or like I haven't been doing enough during my time off. Rather, I feel very excited to get back into my regular study routine.

お久しぶりですね！まだここにいますよ！日本語の勉強日記が五月の終わりからお久しぶりですね！まだここにいますよ！日本語の勉強日記が五月の終わりから休暇中でしたが、只今戻りました！休暇の理由は？いつも通りでしょうね。仕事や生活や家族ーバカンスも入れてー色々で忙しくて休まなければなれませんでした。しかし勉強の休みはなかった。

8月に色々に集中しないといけなかったので、その間リフレッシュができて今は勉強を続くのは楽しみにしています。バカンスが楽しくても、勉強についてがっかりしているわけじゃなくて、むしろまた勉強ができてわくわくしています。バカンスも大事だし、自分の時間を過ごすのも大事だし、これからまた頑張れると気がします。

Study Methods I Used in June, July, & August

In June through August I mostly studied Vocabulary, Kanji, and Listening. The areas I focused on the least were Writing and Grammar. The study tools I used most were mobile tools so I could bring them with me on my phone anywhere I went.

My pro study tool this summer was the mobile app for renshuu.org because I was able to use vocabulary and kanji flashcards to get in some practice even during busy work days and holidays.

Podcasts were my second pro study tool, especially the Let's Talk in Japanese podcast. I could listen during my work commute, on the plane, while the baby takes a nap, and just before bed.

ママ友 or mom friends are a great way to practice listening & speaking. My son just enrolled in a Japanese preschool and I've already made a few new friends for playdates. Playdates are useful for improving his Japanese and mine!

My 2023 Goals Progress

I laid out some broad goals for my Japanese study in my 2023 Japanese Language Goals post, so here is an update with my progress towards these goals.

1. Read one page a day of 日本の歴史366 (にほんのれきし366) everyday in 2023.

How is it going? Terrible! I did not bring this book on my vacation, so I have not kept up. But I will get back into reading the daily pages as often as possible. I am not going to finish the entire book this year, but that's ok. I still learn something new every time I pick it up, and even retain some of the information! Goal: Read as many entries as possible by the end of the year.

2. Finish 日本語総まとめ N3 (にほんごそうまとめ N3) workbooks.

How is it going? Good! I plan on returning to these workbooks now that things have settled down after my holiday, but I will only be able to do extensive practice on the weekends. I still have two weeks left of exercises in the books, so I think I am on track to finish it by the end of the year.

3. Review and learn the first 6 levels of the 常用漢字 (じょうようかんじ), specifically the 教育漢字 (きょういくかんじ) up to grade 6.

How is it going? Okay! Although I didn't have much time in August to review kanji during my holiday, I was able to get through reviewing Grade 3 of the Kyoiku Kanji during June and July. Goal: Review through at least Grade 4 during the month of September.

4. Read at least one book every two months.

How is it going? Terrible! I still haven't had the time (nor the motivation) to pick back up the books I stopped in March, and I'm trying to be okay with that ^^; I would like to pick back up one book in September and try to finish it by the end of the year. Books are a big commitment, and I have to prioritize my studies, so unfortunately books tend to be the first thing I drop.

5. Improve my speaking and writing by finding a tutor.

How is it going? Terrible! I have not begun to even look for a tutor, despite telling myself I would for the entire month of June. I am not sure if I am going to try to find a tutor at this point or if I will just continue with self-study, writing sentences on HelloTalk, and getting some help from my husband. I would like to try to write more and get my sentences corrected by native speakers. I'd also like to interact with native speakers, but finding the time is really tough.

6. Study Japanese for at least 10 minutes every day.

How is it going? Good! Although the rest of my goals have suffered greatly this summer, my goal of continuing to practice a little bit everyday has allowed me to persevere and to feel like I've accomplished something.

Going Forward in September

I am a bit sad to see the summer go as it's my favourite season, but the changing of seasons is always exciting and motivates me to try new things and continue moving forward.

Focus on Grade 4 of 教育漢字

Write in Japanese on HelloTalk

Read one of the books I started this year by the end of 2023

Read 日本の歴史366 as continuously as possible

Review N3 Grammar

What does everyone else have planned for Japanese study in the fall?

皆さんの秋の勉強予定は何でしょうね？

#日本語 #japanese #japanese language #japanese langblr #japanese studyblr #langblr #studyblr #日本語の日記 #japanese diary #japanese goals 2023 #japanese studyspo #tokidokitokyo #tdtphoto #my photo #japanese goals june 2023 #japanese goals july 2023 #japanese goals august 2023