#and like theres really no reason for me to live like

[splatoonmaster69]

.

#vent tw #on one hand i dont think ill live past highschool #like im not sure ill attempt again but idk #on the other i dont wanna br another statistic #but st the same time im not spiteful enough to stay alive just cuz i dont wanna be a percent #and like theres really no reason for me to live like #im horrible at school so university is gonna end up out of the question whether i like it or not #which means ill need to get a job cuz dad says when we graduate we either go into further education or start paying rent #but knowing me ill end up yelling st my boss or something so ill just get fired #and really like its not like i have anything to contribute to the world other than being the shittiest cashier ever #im bad at like everything i do #and even the things im 'good' at like drawing i can only do every few months #the most drawings i got out near eachother were all simple chibis and they were exhausting #i can cook but i cant control the stove temperature or anything well so when i make food its a coinflip if its over or under cooked #im decent at gaming but not good enough to win tournaments and not funny enough for youtube or twitch #theres nothing i can do well enough and consistent enough for me to do anything at all with my life #even if there was the world is burning half the worlds countries are going to shit and im too cowardly and lazy to try and do shit about it #so really what am i even doing #wasting my dads money and energy? being a burden on the education system because you cant teach someone who wont learn? #distracting everyone around me from things that could actually be important? #theyd all be better off if i never existed #and yknow the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago the second best time is today #sure theyre attached to me now but theyll get over it. every day where im not dead is just ruining things for other people #man. first day unmedicated again and im already like this lmao #i wish i was back on the blood pressure ones not because they actually fixed me but because then id be too tired to think again #i could just wake up dizzily get out of bed fall walk downstairs and fall asleep on the couch before my legs got too tired #sure it felt horrible at the time like i couldnt do anything but stleast i had a reason for not being able to do anything #and theres something comforting about popping four pills in ur mouth knowing theyre the thing making you feel so bad every day #plus if id stayed on them i wouldntve had to go thru the withdrawal and that sucked

[puppyeared]

Atla live action 😐

#thats my honest reaction 😐 #to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid #like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat #or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already #good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive #to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil #i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better #but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because #it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak #and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but #come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and #makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality #i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was #IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys' #and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall #AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think #plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS #a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason #im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your #audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small #thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small #its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers #i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang #anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and #rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz #netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub #no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same #ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me #i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing #yapping

[gaycavendish]

can i put you guys onto t4t dakavendish. take my hand… what a beautiful world…

#my personal um. headcanons for them #THIS IS SO EMBARRASING FOR SOME REASONS probably bc i project a little But whateve. #anyways Dakota transmasc genderfluid + bi.. transitioned after becoming an adult #and cavendish OK STAY WITH ME HERE cavendish went on puberty blockers and transitioned pretty early. #hes lived as a guy for most of his life & i think in the back of his mind theres like a Tiny nonbinary Itch. #but he has a job so he doesnt really care about that right now. #oh and gay that goes without saying given my url #chitchat #Anyways.. #SRY i see so many cis cavendish headcanosn and im so sad ant with bindle about it #i really believe that guy is transgender

[rohirric-hunter]

Also I'm vaguely offended at the implicit assumption that hobbits as a general rule don't already know who Morgoth is

#this is about something i posted a long time ago but its been eating at me #like obviously they know who morgoth is #they know who sauron is #or at any rate have as much of an understanding of him as anyone else who isnt a scholar or resident of gondor #so it stands to reason that they would also have a basic understanding of morgoth #a dark lord who has just about the same amount to do with them and their lives #i mean i think people get this impression that hobbits are dumb and dont know things from pippin and sam #pippin is a child #and while sam himself is curious and smart and eager to learn and know things #i would put money on it that you could tell the gaffer that the earth was round and he would immediately forget that information #because it doesnt have anything to do with his life and he therefore doesnt need to know it #so sam hasnt really been told as many things as a lot of people #both of them are bad examples #compare them to bilbos ability to infer things in the hobbit based on a general background knowledge of the world at large #like he knows what a furrier is! i dont even know what a furrier is! #but anyway the point is i think the hobbits know how the world works #they keep to themselves but theyre not isolated lmao #like idk if yall are aware of this but theres this road that runs right through the middle of their country called the GREAT EAST ROAD #they turn suspicious people back at the borders but there are plenty of perfectly respectable people who come through #down. you know. the GREAT EAST ROAD #they know whats out there. they just dont care

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog #didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move #across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s #so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help #with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the #location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright #colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird #like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the #southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December #it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but #i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and #jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen #im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and #the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier #for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy #but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked #up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents #r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes #better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book #like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭 #so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-] #unrelated

[alstroemerian-dragon]

chiaki is such a good and interesting character. wish she was in a better game

#personal #do you ever wish danganronpa was better gkdjfjskkfks #literally the only interesting thing that the anime ever did. To Me. was make chiaki a real person #because if you just take the game on its own its basically. she was just a computer program. you cared about a person who wasnt real. #hajime fell in love with a computer isnt that fucked up #but. with the added context of her being a Real Person who Existed. and the reason the program looks like her is that deep down #they all just Wanted Her Back. like that fuckin HURTS DUDE #her death was the last straw it was the final thing. that grief is what drove them all into despair in the end #fuck the brainwashing bullshit. losing chiaki broke them. #like so few of them had anyone in their lives that just. unconditionally cared. without any strings. #but she Did. she loved them all so much. she wanted them all to be so happy. for themselves #and then junko drove them all into their own heads. and then she took chiaki away from them. #no wonder they didnt give a shit about anyone else’s lives. if this is a world that can take something as unconditionally caring and bright #as chiaki nanami and Break Her and Tear Her Apart and Throw Her Away. it doesnt deserve kindness. fuck humanity. #its definitely something they all have to reckon with for a Long time going forward #like. junko haunts the halls of the island’s facilities. but so does chiaki. #not nearly in the same way but shes there all the same #theres definitely a time early on when they finally feel up to talking about her and the other four are discussing who she was before #the Real chiaki yknow #and hajime has to be like. No I Know She Was Different. I Knew Her Too. #and just him having to tell the others that chiaki was basically his only friend when he was in the reserve course #they really have to mourn her twice. fuck dude

[bmpmp3]

its dave time.....we’re in dave mode....

#art #traditional art #watercolour #oc art #ocs #oc group: dave #oc: dave #WEIRD FACT: i have this urge to draw all socks like that - white with green toes heel and stripe on top (not pictured) #REASON: because when i was like 8 or something my family got a really good deal on bulk socks so like everyone was wearing #for like so much of my life. these white cotton socks with some tiny green stripes at the toe #the exact same socks (we labelled per person and my brother is tall so he had a different size) #so in highschool i simplified it to these lil green and white beasts and i have just. never stopped #i dont know why #i still have those socks. most of my family has moved on because their pairs broke down some of mine are still going!! #(although theres a few pairs with holes forming RIP) #i have other pairs now too tho. my beloved mom likes to knit so shes given me quite a few pairs of knitted socks and those are nice :) #but anyway. i still live in white with green accent cotton sock world #now its like. a compulsion. i draw ankle length socks and i wanna colour them with green accents #haunts me. these socks. its a part of me. forever

[caffeinatedopossum]

I just heard someone say that getting married is the hardest thing they've ever done.

I'm sorry but if getting married is the hardest thing you've ever had to do, I don't think I can talk to you. That's fine, that's totally okay if that's hard for you. I just need a long moment of silence for my misjudgment of the average amount of suffering that any given human experiences.

#and obviously theres shit like forced marriage and things #however #if you are choosing who to marry of your own volition. that shit should be easy #i cant even count with all of my fingers and toes the number of things that have been harder for me than getting married #for one. the reason im not yet legally married which is that im disabled and im in a very intenese match of Do I Deserve Rights #with the government #after that weve got recovering from an ed. not sure how im managing that. plus i couldve easily died #you know from malnutrition. not only from me starving myself but also due to severe malnutrition in my entire childhood #due to neglect and abuse. its tge reason i never grew properly. i have a hole in my jaw. its also why my jaw is underdeveloped #ive got severe insomnia and anxiety to the point that i wont sleep for days without strong meds #and cant really leave my house alone #i lived through untreated hypothermia and likely heat stroke as well and those were both MUCH harder than getting married #i experienced child labor and escaped what was probably a cult given that i had to run away to an undisclosed location #cut off contact with everyone i knew from it and remain anonymous #i ran away from home because of the abuse and when the cops were called on me i had to sit thete #with a straight face and listen to social workers and authorities tell me that what i was calling abuse was ok and that i had to go back #i had to fight for an education that i never really got. same for medical care including emergency medical care #anyway point being i will be very relieved to spend the rest of my life with my favorite person after all of that #there are no regrets or uncertainties about that. my life is the best its ever been and she only makes it better

[hotmess-exe]

dang, it must be a trip to grow up without every single one of your "non-conventional" interests, inclinations, and emotions being reacted to with "No you don't" or "But why? That doesn't make sense."

#i have lived with so so so many versions of imposter syndrome my whole life #basically when it comes to everything but writing #and i really really do mean everyfuckingthing even down to being queer and being black/african #i thought it was the emo kid still in me but like... theres a reason the emo kid me felt that way too #just thoughts #family will fuck you uppppppp

[235uranium]

there's a lot to say about how house md treats women but I will say the show lets the women be way more complicated than some shows today

like yall still aren't ready for cameron

#☢️.txt #cameron fascinates me. both how fandom responds to her and within the show itself #her moral conflict IS interesting and the bizaare pedestal she put house on is microscope worthy #actually how she views house in general interests me. shes the first to realize a lot of what he does is to intentionally distance himself #but she also misreads him in ways no one else does. specifically because she accepted that he does care! #i also still think about how she assumes house is at fault when chase kills the dictator which tbh is a REALLY interesting opinion to me #dont get me wrong house definitely changed chase and it turned into him becoming a lot like house #however. house freaks out every time a patient asks to die. even when its reasonable house spirals out of control #trying to find a reason for it to be unreasonable. it doesnt matter if a patient is about to die unless hes completely out of ideas he #physically cannot stop. its compulsive. he does offer euthanasia in certain circumstances and theres patients where he clearly #does not care if they live or die. but his entire medical identity is based on saving lives regardless of who they are #he doesnt /care/ that a dictator got killed and probably does think chase made a decent choice. but its not what house wouldve done #house mightve set something up. tipped off an insurgent. let someone into the room. but he'd force the decision into someone elses hands #but cameron does think house would kill someone if he hated them enough. because he plays god constantly #which is such a fascinating misunderstanding of house's motives from someone who generally likes him

[sad--tree]

well shit. just checked out the lineup 4 bluesfest this year and i may have 2 actually brave the crowds 4 once. there might just be enough ppl id wanna see to make it worth it, altho tbh matthew good is almost enough for that on his own lol coz like. matthew good!!! that's the music of my freakin childhood man!! (*the most canadian sentiment ever)

#but also: ben howard; orville peck; charley crockett; mother mother #and of course. motley fucking crue. for some reason. i mean why not right? lol #ftr no i dont know why its called bluesfest when theres so much non-blues. they DO have blues its just. theres a lotta other stuff. #idk. perpetual mystery here in the nations capital. #i REALLYYYY wanna see matt good tho i was supposed to in 2020 and he CANCELLED instead of rescheduling like every1 else 😭 #still might go to mtl in april to see him tho. festival sets are just Not the Same lbr #NOW i just gotta see if any of the artists i wanna see are on the same days..... pls..... so much more cost effective.... #my whole life ive lived here and ive never been 2 bluesfest. maybe thisll be the year that changes #hmmm. $280 for a 'pick any 3 days' ticket is Not Bad At All.... definitely gonna b Pondering this further.... #tho $410 for a full pass is also not terrible. relatively speaking bc tgats is still Not A Small Amount of Money #not sure the full lineup is worth that 2 me tho #HMMM #anyways hey bluesfest. why the FUCK is your website so bad my god the scrolling lag good fucking lord. what the fuck are u DOING back there #also also. on the topic of music festivals. i KNOW its not coming back but.... heavy mtl return W H E N 🥺😭🙏🔥 #i just. wanna go 2 a metal music fest. w/o breaking the bank and/or subjecting myself to festival camping. which i refuse 2 try by myself. #not that we really have that sorta festival here at all but it seems the Really Big european ones are like that and uhhh. #it just seems like A Lot to do that solo. for a first time doing smth. #ANYWAYS !! still contemplating whether i want 2 spend altogether Too Much Fucking Money to see metallica and iron maiden later in the year #like on the 1 hand its A Lot Of Money plus id have to travel (edmonton 4 metallica; mtl or TO 4 maiden) #on the other hand. those guys arent gettin any younger. and the FOMO is unfortunately real af when u never know if theyre gonna retire #or like. DIE. (ok ok or like. idk break a hip or smth lol) ( they arent THAT that old just. u kno. fear.)

[satansleftnutcheek]

Thinking about how Miguel claimed that Miles is the original anomaly despite Gwen being right there. Like my guy if you're going to have a logical fallacy at least be right about it

#i havent read every spiderman comic so for all i know theres a story where she lives #HOWEVER comma she said that in every other universe Gwen Stacy falls in love with spiderman and in every other universe Gwen Stacy dies #so im taking her word on it #I know why Miguel called Miles the og anomaly and it makes sense #love the in story and out of story reasoning behind it #But Miguel my man you cannot found a superhero club dedicated to fixing anomalies only to not see Gwen dies in every other universe Stacy #as an anomaly #idk bout you bro but thats pretty anomalous if you ask me #AND shes spiderwoman in her universe so thats especially anomalous #Miguel do you know how your own world view slash belief works bc it doesnt seem like it lmao #its just really funny to me #across the spiderverse #into the spiderverse #atsv #astc gwen #astv miles #astv miguel

[eggbagelz]

Enough of fun sexy zones its time for derelict zones. Hashtag rotting buildings core

#hashtag bodies in the desert #hashtag starving #hashtag yknow how this is an apocalypse #fr tho i think abt the zones as this sort of fucked up ghost town so often #like obviously theres a lot of people but #they dont own that space. nobody has for a long time #they have a deity devoted to death for a reason #also smth ive been thinking abt a lot is making everyones outfits and gear and such seem a lot more used #making jewelry out of shit they find in the desert. like kobra and poison's key pendants #clothes are all handmedowns. theres a trade system #i like to think the only ppl who really have shit put together are dr d and his crew #and tommy chow mein who is a capitalist #ooooooh you wanna ask me about my danger days worldbuilding so bad #danger days: the true lives of the fabulous killjoys #chattering

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#yesterday i was wandering around the campus where ive resided these last 4 years bc ive banned myself from running until my leg heals #and i was thinking like. what am i gonna miss about this place when i leave? bc im always thinking abt the things i cant wait to get away #from. and its a real short list. ill miss the palm trees bc i never get sick of seeing thrm. theyre so weird #ill miss the yucca. again bc theyre so weird looking. ill miss the way u can see where all the ants r bc in the non human populated areas #there isnt grass everywhere bc desert. ill miss that there r so many birds of prey hanging around. and the road runners and all the lil #lizards. and maybe in an abstract way ill miss being so close to the boarder bc when u live near a boarder boarders feel like bullshit #like staring down the road into another country. idk theres something i like abt that. ill probably also miss being able to run outside #all year long bc in the winter during the day all u need is a light jacket lol. where im going it gets real cold 🥶 #maybe ill even miss the constant blue skies. but idk ive always liked a cloudy sky better. makes me think of home haha #ill def miss how convenient my apartment rn is. the loft bed. the low cost. the 5min walk to campus. sigh. but thats pretty much it. i #dont think ill miss anything else. im not really close with anyone. my boss was the reason i came here and she left this school in January #so thats it i guess. i think i stayed a year too long and was not well for a lot of my time here but so it goes #just gotta move to the next place. just gotta pray pray pray that i find an apartment soon. i dont even wanna say anything abt it bc im #afraid to jinx things. even tho thats irrational. like. i just gotta somehow project how good a tenant i am. im so quiet u will never see #me and i never complain abt anything bc i have brain problems. sigh. i cant wait for this transition to b over #im so so so ready to be in a new place doing new things. but at least my energy is back. im back to high energy on little sleep lol #i dont understand how my body functions lmao. somehow when i get a normal amount of sleep it's a sign that i feel awful #unrelated

[coridallasmultipass]

I'm still internally laughing about that goth Dirk post, so I dug up the pics from the time I did a goth Dirk Strider to an NYCstuck meetup in like 2014/15ish... and this first pic is sending me lmao... it's so cringe and perfect.

My caption on the selfie:

#i didnt wanna jack their post and put my shitty pics on it but yeah this was a thing that happened #it was fucking cold that day but i had a blast #also sorry i dont mean any offense by cropping people out #... i just dont know if they want their old pictures shared again so thats that on that #throwback tuesday #hEY ITS TUESDAY YOU FAT NASTY TRASH omg i finally remembered that on a tuesday #me #dirk cosplay #goth dirk #the reason i am good at gothifying cosplay is because i was a metalhead for the longest time and had all this goth shit #ppl dont get theres a difference between metalhead goth emo scene punk etc unless u live it like lol theyre adjacent but not the same #Cori.exe #Post.exe #Image.exe #popped collar #man i should try to rock the popped collar look again it really is rad there #nothing is better than roasting your past self. i like my roast well done. #homestuck #sorry dont mean to put it in the hs tag im just tagging it in case someone has it blocked #i miss going to these meetups man.... ppl were so nice to me even tho i was a quiet nerd who is bad at socializing