#and living through self-actualization self-realization and love from that.

[ishcliff]

something interesting about canto VI to me is the way the structure of the story revolves around heathcliff's self-esteem, and that's actually a part of why i don't really regard the conclusion favorably.

the lead-up to and introduction of the canto starts with heathcliff revealing his insecurities. it's not entirely his will; his reactions are difficult for him to control, and his vulnerability is very hard on him. he deals with teasing in his direction inelegantly, and is easily torn down by virtually any criticism in his direction. he is fragile and needs support, and eventually he does get it as the sinners recognize he needs people on his side as he approaches a great personal difficulty.

and with their support, he has a moment of clarity, where he sees himself as someone who has grown past what the estate represents to him. the ways he was demeaned, debased, and devalued just by virtue of growing up in wuthering heights didn't matter. he looks into the eyes of his most prolific abuser and feels an empowering sense of pity, and recognizes the worthlessness of those who hurt him. he is the man who he thought he had to become to be better than what he thought catherine saw him as. the "revenge" or "reckoning" he sought to bring to wuthering heights was successful; he exists on his own legs without them.

and then, this confidence is ripped from under him. he is so upset by the news of catherine's passing that he threatens to kill himself and everyone around him. the support that was vital to him is mostly useless, and it's only through physical violence that he can be reached. first with getting knocked out, then with the battle against his distortion. the lead-up to the distortion is further deconstruction of heathcliff's monumental successes as a survivor of lifelong abuse. the erlking teaches him that he is worthlessness embodied, and that his successes mean nothing because they did nothing positive for catherine.

and catherine's memories lend to this view the erlking has, where she 1) on their first meeting, stakes claim on heathcliff when she realizes hindley doesn't "want him", and 2) tells nelly that heathcliff has nothing without her, while off-screen he is experiencing the empowering character development he later reveals as described above.

the usage of his ego at the end of part 2 is, seemingly, pointed; he wants to put himself into the bag, drag himself to hell, and show himself endless suffering. then this is capped with his distortion, where he regards himself as a mindless beast and an utter fool of a man for thinking he could possibly grow as a person. and that no matter what strides he makes, no matter what miracles he witnesses, they are worthless without catherine.

once his sanity is mostly restored, the canto continues with explaining his foolishness. his reason for even having the character development he previously prided himself on is made into a simple misunderstanding, something that simply would not have happened had he listened a moment longer. and heathcliff cherishes this. and he looks at all of the lives he lives when catherine is erased, each unique and diverse and shows all the people he could become without her, internalizes it all, and decides still that none of it is worth it. everything is for catherine, as it always should have been. as demian explains, a garden is worthless in the eyes of someone who loves only one rose.

it is extremely romantic. a beautiful gesture of devotion, and the idea of soulmates. but in the specific context of heathcliff's character development, it feels a bit like a pit. a man who was forced into servitude in his own home deciding on his own terms that his independence is worthless is a tragedy in his own source material, but in this, it is romantic. and the ego that was, again, seemingly a pointed comment on how heathcliff views himself, now has a line about his devotion to catherine.

it would be different, if the worlds were truly like the erlking, every catherine, and nelly said. but the mirror world that shows the happiness of heathcliff and catherine together (an even more explicit reference to hareton and catherine 2) disproves their arguments, and dissolves the erlking's aggression in his last moments. the entire point of the canto is, seemingly, about how it never needed to exist to begin with. and therefore, heathcliff's sense of closure isn't a victory so much as it is just another thing that happens to him, and a peek into his next struggle.

it feels confusing, and ultimately despite being a lifelong fan and dedicated reader and writer of romance, i find myself not compelled. and as a fan of heathcliff in limbus company, his arc being upended and the meaning of it getting neutered by the ultimate pointlessness of it leaves me dissatisfied.

#canto vi spoilers #canto vi part 3 #lcb heathcliff #limbus company meta

[meirimerens]

i'll write it down so hopefully i don't have to walk anyone else through that for the twelfth time since i've had this blog it's been a Long Time Comin especially since a previous version of this has been in da drafts since 2021 i'm also going to try to be as loving and like clear and concise (i am Not mad this is is not a Mad post i'm not sure how the tone will come across because. it's a poast innit but i'm just trying to be. at the very least informative)

i promise you that the homosexual blogger who has a homosexual headcanon about a character whose interactions with the opposite gender can be read as entirely platonic and even demeaning in ways Does Not need to be told on their own blog, in which they extensively share their art or writing or discussions about thinking of this character as homosexual, after they haven't asked, that you personally think that character likes the opposite gender (too) actually. they know. they do know. most people think most characters like the opposite gender. most people think most living people do.

you are within your god-given rights to make your own posts and your own writings and your own arts and talk about it when asked it's a free fucking website babeeyy and to associate and discuss between people who share the same headcanon as you do dearly and heartily but i Promise, I Promise you no homosexual with their homosexual headcanons for characters whose interactions with the opposite sex can be read as completely devoid of romance needs to be reminded, when they didn't ask, that you don't see it that way. they've seen it around. they've been around. we've seen it. we know.

#girl help this has happened when i was in tew when i was in mgs and when i was in patho it's been going on for so long i actually had this #in the drafts like not the whole thing but that second paragraph has been in my drafts since. 2021...?😭😭😭 #wait i think this was about the Gay Solid Snake Theory comic originally........ #i think. bc i posted it late 2020. the more things change.... #i know it's very hard for people who are Not homosexual to like get in the head how bones-grindingly psychologically exhausting it is #to be reminded of other-gender attraction when you're just vibing and not asking (esp. in spaces that people boast are so accepting of you) #but for pride month. could you spare us a thought. a crumb of it #neigh (blabbers) #it's my blog. on it i've chronicled me spending over 9 months writing over 90k words about burakh realizing he's a homosexual #and living through self-actualization self-realization and love from that. #i think my position is quite clear [becomes transparent]

[harmoonix]

💃🏼 𝐕 𝐄 𝐆 𝐀 𝐒 💃🏼

Astrology Observations

💃🏼 If you have Capricorn or Aquarius Placements and you suddenly start to feel like your life turns more chaotic than ever is probably Saturn telling you that you need to change something, maybe your routine, maybe your sleep schedule, maybe your self - worth etc (Capricorn/Aqua Sun/Moon/Rising)

💃🏼 Sagittarius Sun/Moon//Rising/Venus/Lilith people easily get attached by them for their outgoing nature and spontaneous energy

💃🏼 Leo Lilith/Leo Placements they are very attractive at the first sight, they are remarkable at making good first impressions

💃🏼 Aries Sun/Venus/Rising/Mars > People always make good boundings with them, they are these main characters who always unite people

💃🏼 Pluto aspecting Mercury > These natives are always so intuitive, they can tell when someone lies to them or when they're being fooled by someone

💃🏼South Node aspecting Sun natives probably didn't focused much on themselves in a past life, you have the chance now! Same for Leo South Node

💃🏼 Mars in fire signs feels so excited, their energy grows over night, extremely passionate, everything they do is with passion and love

💃🏼 Jupiter/Sagittarius in your 11H helps you to manifest things fast, if you actually use methods of manifestation...it can be very helpful

💃🏼 Libra Mars/Mars in the 7H. These natives have one hard challenge and that is to find peace among their relationships, sometimes you tend to argue with your partners and chaos comes rapidly after

💃🏼 Aquarius Placements/11H Stellium creates beautiful friendships, their communities are so unique from a person to another

💃🏼 Moon/Sun or Mercury in the 8H are those people who stay in the shadow yet they know everything about anyone like their some detectives or spies

💃🏼 Lilith aspecting Sun, people can dislike/hate you for who you are, they secretly envy the person you are inside and cannot help it but to hate it instead

💃🏼 Lilith aspecting Mars natives can find themselves around with misogynistic/selfish/arrogant people quite too often, cut these people off from your life

💃🏼 Chiron aspecting Venus natives, people don't understand what they are going through romantically, they usually don't like to talk about their love lives if they're not feeling comfortable

💃🏼 Capricorn Chiron natives, that person who is hurt but doesn't wanna talk about it, they can get exhausted way faster than other people, pretends everything is fine when is not

💃🏼 Scorpio Lilith/Venus/Moon easily attract people who want to use them for their power or for their own benefits, your intuition can tell you the most of it

💃🏼 Venus/Lilith/Juno/Mars in the 12H can dream about their future spouses/future partners, you can aslo have a feeling of "deja-vu" when you'll met them

💃🏼 Gemini Venus/Venus in the 3rd house, their voices are so catchy!! Venus rules over your voice here and it gives you beautiful artistical talents

💃🏼 Moon in the 9th house can indicate your spouse's family can get along with you quite easily. Like not a very attached relationship but you have common respect for eachother

💃🏼 Lilith aspecting the Midheaven can be very liked by people but disliked in the same time because in way people wish to be like you

💃🏼 Lilith in Gemini/Lilith in the 3rd house gets crazyyyy, Lilith here is more communicative than ever if she doesn't like something she'll say it right

💃🏼 Jupiter aspecting Sun natives can easily be liked for their personality and aura, they have a sense of generosity in them

💃🏼 Aries Saturn and lesson with needing to have patience for the things you really want is very real, things may come for you but you need patience for that

💃🏼 I start to realize that Cancer Saturn's natives karma is not always about their family but about creating their own type of karma as well, about nurturing the family you gonna have (when you grow and have kids or a spouse)

💃🏼 Pluto in the 7H natives are literally those type of people who go through a major changing in a relationship, but be careful because a relationship can change into a good thing but also in a bad thing (If is a toxic relationship is time to say byebye)

💃🏼 I adore 10th and 11th house Venuses for standing their ground when they're in a toxic relationship. They won't stay with someone who drains their life and they know their own standards

💃🏼 If Mercury is in a fire sign or fire house the native can be brutally honest when they're talking. Like that type of honesty is rare

💃🏼 Mercury Retrograde is actually a hidden blessing because is represent "Find your voice" at the right moment you'll need it (Ofc Mercury Retrograde in a natal chart not a transitioning one)

💃🏼 Pluto aspecting Juno can get into really toxic/posesive relationships if they don't take care, actually you can be approached by people who share those traits

💃🏼 The ruler of your 9H can help you to embrace your faith way easier:

Sun - You can embrace your faith by being yourself

Venus - You can embrace your faith by loving yourself

Jupiter - You can embrace your faith by believing in yourself

Mars - You can embrace your faith if you follow your ideas/desires

Saturn - You can embrace your faith by using teaching technics

Moon - You can embrace your faith by trusting your guts and intuition

💃🏼 1st house ruler in the 11th can make you to focus more on your friends/friendships more than anything else something like "Friends over anything"

💃🏼 11th house ruler in the 10th house can indicate most of your friends working in the same job/career as you, also you can influence your friends about work and jobs

💃🏼 2 jewelry tips about your Venus!!

Venus in Air/Water Signs can wear more silver/white gemstones

Fire and Earth Signs can wear more gold/red or yellow gemstones

💃🏼 Heavy Sagittarius in your chart can indicate you have a very spontaneous personality, good jokes, good charm and catchy appearance

💃🏼 Cancer/Libra/Pisces/Virgo Moons can have watery eyes in general, their eyes play a big role in their appearance

💃🏼 Heavy Aries or Taurus in someone's chart can indicate someone who is more grounded with a leader spirit, they can just be everyone's type

💃🏼 Talking about types, men with earth Venus or Mars make sure to treat their partners with respect and love, I love that common respect they have

💃🏼 Sun in your 7H makes you to attract partners who have the same hobbies/passions as you, same goes for if you have Leo in the 7H

💃🏼 Uranus in your 5th/7th house can have unexpected relationships, like you met someone new, then someone between you 2 starts to fall in love and y'all end up in a marriage overnight

🏜️ Is Friday today so we have to party 🏜️

H a r m o o n i x

#astrology #astro observations #astro notes #birth chart #placements #astrology observations #astro community #horoscope #ascendant #astroblog #astroseek #astro seek #astrofyp #astro #astra #asteroids

[whytheylosttheirminds]

I Remember Everything - Rafe Cameron (Chapter 2)

Summary: You left the island two years ago, leaving the love of your life a shattered man in your wake. Now, when you return, you find the sweet boy you once loved has transformed into a monster of a man. How can you detangle the real Rafe from the terrible things he's done?

Timeline: begins toward the end of obx season 3 and is mostly canon.

Content: this story contains sexual content, alcohol and drug abuse, and brief mentions of violence. All chapters are 18+, minors do not interact!

(Prologue and Chapter 1)

You tried to close the door quietly behind you, wincing everytime it creaked, but as you tiptoed through the foyer into the living room you quickly realized your stealth was of no use. Your mother sat in her chair in the corner of the room, flipping the page on whatever cheesy self-help book she was worshiping today. She looked up at you and then to the oversized clock on the wall pointedly.

“Really? Sitting up under a single lamp light?” You rolled your eyes. “What are you gonna say next, ‘where have you been young lady?’”

“Actually, I was just going to ask if you had a good night,” she said in her all-too-familiar-guilt-trip tone. “But since I’m apparently such a stereotype, maybe I should ask where you’ve been. I’ll be the overbearing mother you’ve made up in your head.”

You just sighed. “I’m not doing this with you, goodnight mom.”

“Don’t forget we’re having dinner at the island club tomorrow night!” She called after you. “Just you, me, and Chip.”

You winced. “I don’t know if the Island Club is really my vibe anymore, mom.”

“Y/N,” your mother said in warning. “The other 51 weeks of the year, you are welcome to walk around like you’re better than all of us. But this week is my week and I want to have dinner at the Island Club with my daughter and my fiancé.”

In your twenty years on earth, you’d had approximately one million fights with your mother. You were wise enough by now to know which ones you were going to lose.

You sighed in defeat, “Alright mom, I’ll be there.”

Like she said, it was just one week and then you could get the hell out of here. Thinking of the night you just had with a pang of sadness, you thought, this time maybe for good.

Two Years Ago…

“Happy birthday, baby,” Rafe said, beaming.

“Rafe what did you do?” You asked.

“Got you something,” he shrugged, his casual tone betrayed by the big, bright smile on his face, his dimples on full display. He looked so excited it made your heart swell.

“You got me a car?” You said in disbelief.

“Not just a car, your dream car!” He extended his long arms, displaying the vehicle like a Price-is-Right model.

“You actually bought me a car?” You said quietly, shaking your head in awe.

“Do you like it?” He asked, now wringing his hands nervously. His sudden timidness made you weak, wanting to hold him in his vulnerability.

“Baby,” you said quietly before suddenly breaking out in a run toward him, leaping into his arms. Even in his surprise, he caught you, like he always did. 

You tucked your head into the crook of his neck as your arms and legs wrapped around him. He held you back so tightly, you thought he might never let go. 

“I love it,” you mumbled into his skin. “You have no idea.”

He pulled his head back to get a look at you. You had tears in your eyes as you beamed back at him.

“I love you,” you said before dropping a gentle kiss to his lips.

“You have no idea,” he said, before kissing you back harder. 

The kiss turned more passionate as he started walking the two of you toward the car, removing one hand from you to open the door to the back seat. He lowered you in slowly, both of you laughing into the kiss. You scooted backward to the other side of the back seat, pulling your legs to your chest to make room for him. For a moment, he just stood in the open door, taking you in. You giggled nervously under his hungry gaze.

“You gonna join me?” You asked, taunting him with the low, sexy voice you knew made him crazy.

“Just wanna look at you for a sec,” he explained. “Wanna remember.”

You leaned forward and started to crawl towards him, hands and knees sinking into the soft leather seat. 

“You have your whole life to look at me, baby,” you assured him. 

Once you were close enough to him, you stretched your neck forward and kissed him again, grabbing his shirt collar and pulling him into the car with you. He gladly obliged and shut the door behind him. Once he was settled, you threw your leg over him and climbed in his lap, arms outstretched past either side of his head to hold onto the seat back behind him. 

“You're not gonna hit the road in the middle of the night and leave me here now that you’ve got your own ride?” He asked, close enough to your lips that you could feel his breath sweep across them as he talked.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you promised. “Unless you’re in the seat right next to me.”

You leaned in to kiss him again, but he pulled back before your lips met. You furrowed your brows in confusion.

“I got you another gift,” Rafe said.

“Rafe,” you said, “you already got me a car. I don't know what could possibly top that.”

Removing one of his hands from your hips, he reached into his pocket, pulling out a little black box.

“Open it and find out,” he held the box out to you.

With wide eyes, you took what was clearly a jewelry box from him and opened it slowly. Rafe reached up to turn on the car light so you could better see what was inside. It was a dainty gold ring, twisting around itself to make a small knot right in the middle. It was simple, but so beautiful.

“It’s a promise ring,” he explained.

You watched him watching you, realizing he was nervous, afraid you were about to reject his gesture. You could tell by the look on his face that he had more he was struggling to say, so you silently reached out your hand and placed it on his cheek, letting him know you were listening, that he was safe.

He nuzzled his head into your soft hand and closed his eyes for a moment to gather his thoughts. After a moment, he opened them into yours and took a deep breath.

“You are…everything,” he said, eyebrows knit together in sincerity. As if he could somehow look at you hard enough to make you understand. “I don’t care what our parents say, or what all the people on this fucking island say, you are it for me, y/n. I will love you forever. Even if they cut us off, if we have no money and have to live out of the back of this car, I don’t care, I want you. Forever.”

He searched your face for any sign that you’d reject him, or laugh at his earnest desperation. You’d never treated him like that before, but he had been raised to believe that vulnerability was weakness, and even with all the loyalty you’ve shown him, he couldn’t fight the thought that when he told you what he was really feeling, you’d shoot him down.

Instead, you simply said, “Well, am I going to have to put it on myself?”

He laughed, relief spreading through his chest. He took the box from you and removed the ring, slipping it on your left ring finger before placing a kiss over it.

You grabbed his face with both hands and looked at him hard, praying he’d believe you when you swore, “I will love you forever, Rafe Cameron.”

His lower lip flinched slightly as he fought back the tears he could feel springing up. He kissed you quick, hoping you didn’t notice. You did notice, but you kissed him back to take his mind off of it, knowing how much he hates crying in front of people. You slid your hands back to tangle your fingers in his hair, tugging gently in appreciation as he moved his lips to your neck. 

“Don’t leave any marks,” you whined. “My mom…”

“You’re 18 now, baby, she can’t do shit,” he mumbled before going back to sucking on the tender spot at the base of your neck. 

“Yeah, except stop feeding me and kick me out of the house,” you protested, though not exactly pushing him away.

“Like I said, we’ll just live in this car,” he joked. 

“Or,” you said, pulling back from him to separate his lips from your skin before it could change color, “you could leave your mark somewhere she can’t see.”

With those words, you lifted your shirt over your head. Rafe watched hungrily, your words and movements making him grow harder than he already was. You smirked as you pressed down on him, making him hiss. Eyes locked to his, you reached back to unclasped your bra, letting the straps slide away as you revealed yourself to him slowly.

“Fuck,” he whispered as he took you in. He’d seen you naked countless times now, but the way he always looked at you like it was the very first time was the hottest thing in the world to you. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” With those words, he sunk his head down and started pressing gentle kisses to the top of your breasts. 

“I love when you talk to me like that, baby,” you gasp and arch your back as he captures the sensitive skin just above your nipple between his lips and starts sucking, taking you up on your suggestion to mark you somewhere no one will see. 

 You grab the back of his neck for stability, lightly letting your painted nails sink into his skin, the blissful pain of it making his hips buck up into yours. You moan as his length presses perfectly against your clit. You’re so wet you wonder if it's soaked through to his jeans yet.

“You like this?” He asked before releasing his lips and sinking into a spot on your other breast to add to the masterpiece he was leaving on your skin.

“I love it,” You answered.

“It’s your day, baby, just wanna make you feel good,” he told you.

“You always make me feel good,” you whimpered as you continued to writhe on him.

He pulled his mouth from you suddenly and moved his hands to your ass, holding you up so you couldn’t push down on him anymore. You pouted slightly, and he smirked at your neediness. 

“Today’s all about you,” he said. He moved you off of him and laid you down on the seat, kneeling so he could hover over you. He caged you in with an arm at either side of your head. You twisted your neck to look at his arm, admiring the veins that ran up the side, committing the sight to memory. You loved everything about your boyfriend’s body, but something about his arms really drove you wild. Impulsively, you leaned over and placed a kiss on the inside of his forearm, loving how soft his skin was. 

The gentleness of the moment made his skin break out in goosebumps and he looked down at you with hearts in his eyes. The only thing in the world he wanted at that moment was to make you feel how in love with you he is, so he lowered himself between your legs and got to work on your third gift of the day.

Now…

Rafe had two meetings today to sell some of the melted gold, both of which went exactly how he’d hoped. He didn’t understand how the high from the sale could wear off so quickly. So, like most nights, he found himself at the Island Club bar, three bourbons deep. He chuckled to himself, shaking his head at the conversation he just had with Topper about Sarah not answering his calls. 

“What a cuck,” he said to himself under his breath. 

Little did he know that just a few yards away, inside the club dining room, the girl he used to regularly ditch all of his friends for was sitting down to dinner.

You liked Chip just fine, he was a deputy at the sheriff’s department and though you had never been a huge fan of cops, he seemed to genuinely care about helping people. He made your mom happy, and she appears to have worked through some of the anxiety issues she had in your teens, which you were grateful for.

Even though you were tucked in a dark corner of the Island Club dining room, you and your mother still clocked all of the stares from nosy neighbors, wine moms, and kids you grew up with. It was like an Elvis sighting, after the wildfire of rumors that had engulfed the island after your disappearance two years ago. Chip, however, seemed to be none the wiser to your storied past. You didn’t know if your mom had told him all that had happened, and you kind of hoped she wouldn’t. He seemed like a simple guy with a simple view of the world, and you’d appreciate it if your mom would let him stay that way.

Chip was telling a story about one of his coworkers getting their arm stuck in the vending machine, when a commotion from outside the restaurant cut him off.

“I pay just as much as all of you assholes!” A man’s voice bellowed through the open windows.

Your heart froze and you closed your eyes, recognizing the voice immediately. When you looked up, you caught your mother’s glare, she had apparently placed the voice, too. 

A glass shattered, followed by the voice yelling, “take your fucking hands off me, douche bag!”

“I’m just going to…” you set your napkin on the table and pushed your chair back.

“Y/N,” your mother said in warning. “We’re having dinner.”

“I’m just going to make sure everything is okay,” you said, hoping she didn’t realize that you were trying to convince yourself you had a reason to go out there just as much as you were trying to convince her. 

“You’re not here for him,” she said. “You’re supposed to be here for me, for your family.”

Chip’s eyes darted quickly back and forth between you and your mother, totally lost. The two of you gave each other a look that clearly had years of history behind it, and he decided he might want to just stay in the dark.

“I’ll be right back,” you said definitively, standing from the table. Your mother sipped her wine bitterly as she watched you go.

You made your way out onto the patio, following the booming of Rafe’s voice over to the bar. He was face-to-face with another member, a middle aged man who was jabbing his finger into Rafe’s chest as he yelled at him.

“Everyone here is just trying to have a nice evening and you’re over here running your mouth,” the man spat.

Rafe shoved the man’s hand away from him and looked to the much younger woman who was standing behind him.

“I’m sorry for ruining your date with grandpa here, sweetheart,” he joked loudly. “If you ever want to be with a guy who can get it up without a truckload of Viagra, you give me a call, gorgeous.”

The man shoved Rafe and he stumbled backward, laughing, clearly drunk.

“Woah there cowboy,” Rafe chuckled. “We wouldn’t want to make a scene, now would we?”

He was being smug, dripping with arrogance, and it was making you sick. You couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. You thought this time you’d be able to confront him, try to understand why he was treating people like this, but the twist of your stomach forced you away from the scene as you fled from the patio towards the beach.

Rafe was about ready to cock his fist back, too drunk to care about escalating the situation further, when he saw it again - a flash of long hair and a flowing skirt disappearing from view. He suddenly felt completely sober. He patted the guy on the back and threw back the last of his drink before following the mysterious figure down to the beach. 

You stood at the edge of the water, doubled over with your heels in your hand, trying desperately to catch your breath. Maybe your mother was right, maybe you should just keep your head down and act like the only thing that matters to you on this island is her wedding. But both of you knew that wasn’t true, that it could never be true, not when he’s here. Not when something has clearly changed him, and you can’t sleep at night not knowing what horrible thing could’ve happened to make him behave this way. Just because you buried your love for him, didn’t mean the ghost of it had stopped haunting you.

You composed yourself and decided to go back to dinner. You’d fake your way through the rest of the week. You’d lie low, send your mother on her honeymoon, and finally get off this island for good. But when you turned back toward the club, he was there. Standing ten-feet away, just watching you.

“It is you,” he whispered, the wind knocked out of him from the shock of seeing your face in the moonlight.

“Hi, Rafe,” you say, but it doesn’t come out in the confident, casual way you had practiced for the last two years, preparing for the moment you’d inevitably see him again. Instead it’s meek, shaking with your unstable breath.

“What are you…” Rafe is speechless. For just a moment, he’s that soft, insecure boy you used to know. The boy you loved, who loved you desperately in return. He must catch the faint smile you can’t hold back, because his mouth slams shut and his jaw clenches. His wide eyes become steeley again as his shield flies back up.

“What are you doing here?” He practically spits.

“My mom is getting married,” you say, no smile gracing your lips anymore. “I thought you would’ve heard.”

“Been busy,” he shrugs. “Believe it or not I have actual shit going on.”

You chuckle humorlessly, “I can tell.”

“The fuck’s that ‘sposed to mean?” He takes an angry step towards you.

“Just the way you were talking back there, and at your party the other night,” you say. “Looks like you’re the big man now.”

It was you at the party. Rafe shakes his head in disgust, this is the final confirmation he needed to make-up his mind about whether he’s pissed at you. He’d prepared for this moment too, not sure if when he saw you again, he’d want to kiss you or kill you. Right now he was leaning toward the latter.

“Yeah, maybe I am,” Rafe says. “Now that I don’t have all of you holding me back.”

There’s a flash of something you can’t quite place in his eyes. For just a moment, he’s not here, like he’s losing a battle to stay in the moment. You wonder what kind of demons are roaring in his mind. You wish you didn’t want so desperately to exorcise them.

“All of us?” You repeat his words back to him, wondering who else joins you in the club of people Rafe Cameron now hates. You look him up and down with soft, sad eyes. 

“What happened to you, Rafe?”

“I don’t have to fucking explain myself to you, Y/N,” your name shoots off his tongue like a bullet, nothing like the way he used to coo it in worship when he held you, or moan it in awe when he was inside of you. “Why don’t you just fuck off back to wherever you’ve been. You don’t belong here anymore.”

You just look at him, head tilted as your narrow eyes size him up in a way that makes him feel like an exposed nerve. You know the second you get home tonight, the tears will come, but right now you put on a stoic demeanor to match his own. This was the opposite of the reunion you had dreamed of. You thought you’d be back in the arms of the person who knew you better than anyone in the world, but instead you stand face-to-face with a total stranger.

You start to walk back up the beach in his direction, noticing the way his Adam's apple bobs as you get closer to him. Once you’re next to him, you look up into the blue eyes that you used to imagine your kids would have someday. So many things you’d wanted to say, hundreds of letters never sent, millions of tiny memories you’d hold onto forever, but now, with his frame looming over you, all you could think to say was,

“I hate your hair.”

And for the third time this week, he stood breathless as he watched you disappear.

(chapter 3)

a/n: THANK YOU so much for all the support on chapter one, I am actually blown away I did not think so many people would enjoy my words!! Special thank you to bestie @nadvs for all the inspo and advice!!! 🫶🫶🫶

taglist: @maybankslover @dark1paradise @lmg-stilinski24 @idkdudsworld @mimipanini09 @patis643 @readingsmuts

#rafe cameron #rafe obx #rafe cameron x reader #obx fic #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x you #rafe x reader #rafe outer banks #obx smut #rafe cameron fluff #rafe fanfic #rafe x you #rafe fanfiction #rafe smut #rafe imagine #rafe fic #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfic #rafe cameron and you #rafe cameron and reader #rafe cameron and y/n

[ratioaven]

spoilers for 2.1 !!!!!!!

aventurine rant, please keep in my mind that these are my own thoughts and interpretations. im extremely sleep deprived lol so im sorry if i got anything wrong

something thats been on my mind since yesterday are these lines.

from the start to me, it was very clear aventurine had self esteem/worth issues because of how he treats his own life, but the line that says “the other hand is below the table, clutching your chips for dear life” stuck out to me.

i always assumed aventurine was so incredibly confident in his luck but in reality he is afraid. he’s terrified that he’ll lose. it’s an act. he convinces himself, he fools himself, he forces himself to act like he’s confident he’ll win, when in reality even if he does win, he’s still clutching his chips under the table for dear life because of how terrified he is of losing.

that really messed with me to be honest. i feel tricked and what’s ironic is that he tricks his opponents into thinking he’s confident, and he also tricked ME the player but really, this made my heart break in two because i had absolutely no clue up until now.

so why does he act this way

all throughout his life, aventurine has had his pride stripped away. just try to imagine being in his shoes. i myself do not think i could deal with the situations he was put in. i cannot stress this enough, aventurine has a mark on his neck that screams to him that he has once belonged to someone. he has had his pride stripped away from him countless times. but it’s ironic because aventurine is introduced as a very prideful and flashy man. you start to realize the front aventurine puts on is his own way of protecting himself. it’s how he’s able to live basically. i wanna go into more detail but i will later.

as it was said before, aventurine is an uptight person who worries. he is extremely afraid of losing and he has a massive inferiority complex. aventurine may seem like a go lucky person on the outside, but in actuality he is not. he is not happy. he has no self worth, he believes he has nothing to live for, and he has no problem with throwing his life away. aventurine believes the only good thing he brings to the table is his luck.

but this brings me to my next point.

aventurine may not realize it, but he is so much more than his luck. he has so many good qualities and he doesn’t seem to realize it. even if some of it may be an act, he’s still able to pull it off. he’s still an intelligent business man who is both charming and cunning EVEN if it may be an act, those are still amazing qualities to have in his line of work.

but more importantly, aventurine chose to live. despite witnessing his family die, being a slave, and tortured, he chose to live. he chooses to. i cannot stress this enough. this man has gone through hell and back. he truly has had an incredibly difficult life to the point where my heart hurts so so badly for him. he made the decision to stay alive.

that says more than enough about his character.

and last but not least, aventurine wants one thing, and that is to be with his family. he’s witnessed horrible things in his life that no one should ever go through. he lost everyone close to him, he lost his people. he has nothing to live for and he values his life so little to the point where he has no problem with dying. the only real thing that he wants is just to see his family.

and he will one day, but in the meantime, i genuinely hope this man can find a reason to live, and ratio already gave him one just by that note. i just truly wish aventurine happiness while he lives the rest of his life.

i guess this is a topic that really hits me hard because i know all too well that choosing to live life isn’t easy sometimes and i just love aventurine.

let’s all appreciate how truly amazing his character is.

#i didnt proof read this #aventurine thoughts #aventurine #hsr #hsr 2.1 #hsr aventurine #honkai star rail

[dolliestfairy]

𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟'𝑠 𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑦 𝅄ֹ ׅ♡ ೀ ʚĭɞ ‌ིᨴּ ˒˒۪

(Crazy) Yandere [Nerd] Boy x Soft!Chubby!Fem!Reader ༢𓏲๋ ⊹ ֢

𔓘 Tw : Kidnapping, Extreme Noncon (y'all are strangers bro), Rushed Fanfic, Mentions Of Blood, Virginity-Take, Extreme Somnophilia, Stalking, Extreme Obsession, Impregnate, A little of Bondage, Seriously dude you're fucking with a crazy nerd boy who is a freaking stranger to you like y'all didnt know each other but this madman is really know you to the soul from all his stalking and stuff. this fanfic is quite the Dead Dove Do Not Eat. Chubby reader fics with no skintone of reader mentioned.

𔓘 A/N : y'all.. this are f***king insane bro.. like this is kinda disturbing imo as a writer of this and also a lot of suffocating. Read at your own risk. me myself actually like the extreme yandere fics but this is still the prefix of it. stay safe while reading this because again; y'all are a stranger!! if a dark content yandere isnt your cup of tea then i highly recommend you to spend your shit at other blogs!! ty.

W/C : 6,4K for Stranger Fucking 💀

Currently thinking abt nerdy men who looks like they would shit in their pants when someone raised their voice at them, but the truth is; he's really really quite the strong. he's a nerdy man who arent shy at all (or maybe just a little) and he's simply just dont like to be bothered by anyone else. he's also a nerdy man who told himself countless time to just focus on studying and studying, and at the first moment; he actually manage to do it within his daily life, well until he met you.

You; plump, soft looking girl with chubby cheeks and doe eyes. you dont even know how much you affect him didnt you? arent you just dumb? walking there and then with such a tiny skirt that almost showed up your plump ass cheeks. walking down in the hallway with such dress that hugged all of your curves together perfectly. oh if only you find out how every night he would spend his time in his bedroom alone while his hand thrust his own cock up and down, thinking about you. he would be drown in his thoughts about how you would find out all his dark fantasy about you. but.. he do realize he shouldnt be doing this actually, no really, he should just be studying, but the soft laugh and those.. those whimpers terror you gave him just drove him to his edge.

And the fact that he masturbate about you when you both are clearly still stranger - is fucking crazy. he mostly had heard of how'd you talk, whimper and moan (wait.. how did.. he know?) and stuff like that while your own self being completely un guard around him. he swear to his thumbs he hated you for making him felt like this, i mean how could you?? a plump girl just trying to get into her daily life as normal as usual can make some nerd dude mad in love with her without her being aware at all?! he cant do this.. he cant do this anymore..!

And he really cant do it anymore. as he go to your apartement at midnight after finding out where you live. peeking through the window to what you were doing only to find you dressing in a short pastel rainbow dress lingerie with big bows placed in the back of your hair, dancing to some songs.. and oh my god he cant even explain how much he want to ripped those colorful dress lingerie off your body. he has no doubt at all that you have the most beautiful body he would ever sees in his entire life.

As he drown himself in his own thoughts until he heard a telephone ring -- it was your friend! your male friend! as you picked the phone up, talking with your friends, while he sees with his own eyes about the way you laugh softly at what-god-knows your friend was muttering to you. he doesnt and he would rather bury himself alive than admitting about the fact that he was really, really, envy and jealous. as he harshly breath at you, while all his body is literally focus with you. his eyes seeing you from head-to-toe, his ears listening carefully about the conversation you're having as his mouth try to resist to open it again because well um -- he is quite the drooling over there. that was it until you start to walk towards the front door where he was outside!!

As he sees you carefully, while hiding himself in the corner, and focused on the door handle you're about to open. until........

Until he quickly enough to put his arms and placed it onto your mouth, shuting you up until you passed out and bring you to your new home his home. as he open the bondage he placed at your mouth, and pinch your chubby cheeks until he sees your whimpering again. thats it! thats the thing that always drove him mad everydsy everynight. thinking about you whimper at whatever he was doing was like a holy candle for him. he then stood himself up, looking at your half unconscious body, and then start to strip you... to naked.

As he softly ripped all the dress lingerie you weared, and after he got the look at your boobs, he slowly put his hands up at where your nipples on, and start playing with it. while his eyes focused on your face, waiting the reaction he have been wait. and until then... you are moaning. honestly he have been thinking that he was in a dream that time. i mean -- he do have seen you moan by the way he always check on you secretly.. but he never except his own self to be the only one who could capable enough to hear your soft moan. as he sped up the phase of his hands playing your nipple, while his own other hand strat to undress himself.

And until he and your own finally completely naked. and... oh god to be damned. he swear he always sees you at some kind of whore while your other friend sees you just as an innocent normal girl, and he always have no doubt about his feelings That you have such an erotic body and at the end.. he was actually right. you do have a very very.. pleaseable body. as he placed his hands into your half unconscious body, lowering it until his hands touch your private part -- your pussy. he slowly but surely put his 3 long fingers in to play with you, and to be surprised or.. shocked even, that you are so so fucking damn tight! he even sure that your pussy is one of the most tightest thing he'd ever placed his hands on, as he quickly sped-ing up his pace at playing your pussy, watching you moan and whimper become one, he cant believe what he saw. you're literally still half unconscious! but yet you somehow still manage to bring out the sound he would die for with! at this rate he doesnt know if he wants to wake you up or just let you still be half unconscious so when you wake up, you're gonna have a some extra surprised with your naked body that has been covered with his cums. as he thinking about it while he placed his (quite big) cock at your pussy. trying to rip those tight wall of your pussy off. thats what he was trying to do until your pussy start showing a little drop of blood out of it.

Oh.. he get it.. yeah he actually get it. You're a Virgin arent you? oh.. such sweet cheeks.. well too bad yoi're going to give all of your innocents left as his own hands and dicks. the body of someone you dont even know at all. he actually felt (just a little) bit of guilt. but who cares anyway? you're literally still half unconscious! as he said it to himself while he tried his possible to pound your ass up at your fat pussy. going in and up in every corner. at first it was slowly, but then he start to change the position into a mating press just so the cums and the blood are still there. as he quickly but surely speeding his pace up like a mad man. at this rate he was at the edge of doesnt gave a fuck about the fact that you're still half unconscious but then he's also at the edge of shock and unbelief because of how you are still not waking up at his pounding.

And all of those pounding ends when his cock start to dried out with how your fat pussy suck all his cums and sperma in. pulling his cock out of your pussy only to see the view of the inside of your pussy, being drown with his cums. as his hands hold your body up just so all the cums he had restored isnt goung to spill. and until then he slowly put his hands down, letting your body down into the mating press position, watching your pussy spilling all of his cums like a fucking waterfall. (his cum waterfall) and then he placed his palm hands at your cheeks softly, while quietly muttering about how he would take care of you, and keeping you safe and that you wouldnt need to be scared of him (even after all his done to you) as he placed his other hand at your undressed belly, and then stroke it with such gentleness because he knew that right now, right at the almost-morning time, that you're going to be swellen with thousands - thousands of his sperm, and at the end of the month, he would see you placed your own hands at your bellies who at that time was full with his kid. oh how he cant wait... he just hope that you wouldnt be freaked out about the fact that you just found yourself in a unrecognizeable place with a literal fucking stranger who is now has placed a baby inside of you. yes, a baby -- his baby.

TSUKISHIMA KEI, ITOSHI RIN, MEGUMI, Itachi, Shikamaru, Nanami, Neji, Tobirama, Deku, KUNIMI, Muichiro, SEMI EITA, Konoha Akinori, Venti, XIAO, AL-HAITAM, Akaashi, KOZUME KENMA, & hatake kakashi.

did i forgeting anyone? insert ur fav!

Dolliestfairy's © Works. Do Not Repost My Creation at Any Platfroms Without My Permission.

#chubby reader #plus size reader #anime x chubby reader #haikyuu dark content #haikyuu x chubby reader #jujutsu kaisen x chubby reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #naruto smut #naruto x reader #itachi x reader #itachi smut #tw.dark content #tw.yandere #tw.pregnancy #tw.virginity #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x chubby reader #tsukishima kei smut #rin itoshi x reader #yandere blue lock #blue lock x chubby reader #genshin impact smut #yandere genshin #genshin x reader #genshin smut #kakashi x reader #kakashi smut #kenma smut #kenma x reader #al haitam x reader

[jsluvtzu]

late nights

g!p minatozaki sana x fem!reader

summary: you get a taste of her version of an after-party

cw: smut!!! really nasty smut!!!!!, somnophilia, breeding kink, honestly no plot, men dni

wc: 2k

a/n: wrote this while listening to muse by pnd anddd lemme tell yall… this fic is so muse coded

you splashed your face with water one last time, pat drying it with a towel.

it was 11:24 pm on a friday night, and you decided to have a self-care night while your girlfriend drank her life away at a work party.

the song you had playing on the bluetooth speaker paused and got replaced with a now blaring ringtone.

you disconnected your phone from the speaker and answered it to hear the one voice you’ve missed all day.

“y/nnnn, my favorite girl everrr, hiiii”, sana’s slurred words and giggly tone filled the ear you held to your phone.

you chuckled at your girlfriend’s cute greeting, wondering how many shots of soju she’s had already.

“hii cutie, you having fun?”

“mmm i guess.. nayeon unnie keeps crying and telling me how pretty i am.”

you hummed and walked into your shared bedroom, switching the call to speakerphone and placing your phone on the bed.

“what’ve you been up to without me?”

“i just finished getting ready for bed, that’s all.”, you missed being able to have some time to yourself, but you missed your girlfriend more.

“yeah? what else did you do?”

you heard shuffling noises and small grunts over the phone, but thought nothing of it as you took your sleep shorts off, sliding into bed with nothing on other than sana’s oversized tee.

“hmm, i cleaned a little, took a nice, hot shower, did a face mask, and-“

sana interrupted your rambling with louder groans and you finally realized what she was doing.

“mhm, keep talking for me baby.”

your cheeks burned up immediately at the thought of sana touching herself to the sound of your voice.

“sana.. aren’t there people around you right now?”

“i’m in a stall love. don’t worry about me, ‘just wanna hear your pretty voice.”

“why don’t you just come home and let me help you? it’ll feel so much better, i promise.”, your mind getting filled with dirtier thoughts by the minute.

“fuck, i can’t baby, not yet. jeongie wants us to play some dumb drinking game.”

you groaned in annoyance and pulled the comforter higher up your body.

“i know, ‘m sorry baby, i’ll be home in an hour or two, okay?”

“mhm, whatever..”, you knew that was a lie. every time sana went out with her coworkers, it would always be an all night thing.

unfortunately, sana got you all needy for her from just one phone call, but she wasn’t there to help you relieve your urges.

you turned to lay on your side and rubbed your thighs together in an attempt to soothe the throbbing pain between your legs.

“shit, i gotta go y/n, just wait for me. i’ll be home soon and make you feel better, yeah?”

reluctantly, you agreed and hung up the phone, placing it on your nightstand and turning on a random show on the tv, putting the volume on low.

the dim light from the living room was the only source of light that shined through your open door, the warm ambience calming you into a state of drowsiness.

you fought with yourself to keep your eyes open in hopes that sana would actually keep her promise and come home at a reasonable time.

that fight ended rather quickly.

—

several hours had passed when sana finally came home, extremely drunk and horny.

she stumbled her way through the hallways, bumping into anything and everything in sight.

when she got to the doorway of your shared room, she stopped and held the door frame, stabling herself.

she stood there, staring and observing your peacefully sleeping figure.

you were laying stomach faced down and had one leg hanging out of the blanket, ass fully on display for her.

sana pushed herself off the wall and carefully approached the bed, trying her best not to make any noise.

not that it would wake you up anyways, you were always a pretty heavy sleeper.

as she made her way over to you, she kept her eyes locked on your visibly wet pussy, simultaneously slipping out of her leather jacket.

she got close enough to brush her fingers over your ankle all the way up to your waist, and up again to your face, softly caressing your cheek with the side of her finger.

your messy hair covering half your face. your soft, deep breathing and curved figure. you sobered sana up better than a good night’s sleep could.

she had a moment of clarity. never having thoughts any clearer than right now.

she needed to fuck you. just like this.

sana reached her free hand down her crotch to unzip her jeans, fishing her own cock out in hand.

it wasn’t enough to just stand there and stroke herself to the mere sight of you, she needed to use you.

she stood up straight and lifted one leg up and over the bed, clumsily straddling herself over your legs on her knees.

her skinny jeans were limiting her movement, so she pulled them and her boxers further down her thighs, allowing them to pool at her knees.

sana’s cock was hurting at this point, just eager to have your tight walls wrapped around her.

she ran her tip along your puffy folds, collecting your previous arousal on it and mixing it with her leaking precum.

soft moans escaped her lips when she accidentally dipped herself inside you, throwing her head back and biting her lip, relishing the moment.

“fuck y/n, you’ve just been here all wet and ready for me, huh? poor baby must’ve been so tired, she couldn’t even stay up a few more hours.”, sana whispered.

she was mumbling the filthiest things and having a whole conversation with herself.

“i know this is wrong love, i shouldn’t be this hard when i see you laid out like this. lookin’ all pretty for me while you’re sleeping.”

sana slid your shirt up your back as far as she could without lifting your body, losing her grip on reality when she saw the way your back was slightly arched.

“arching for me even in your sleep? fuck baby, you want this. yeah, you were waiting for this. just waiting for me to take advantage of you when you can’t tell me yourself.”

sana rubbed her hands over your ass, gently massaging your flesh.

“ ‘this why you wanted me to come home so bad? so i could fuck you out of your dreams? wake you up with my dick so fucking deep inside your pussy? huh? my pretty girl..”

you let out a small, short grunt, stretching and adjusting your position, still fully asleep.

sana paused her movements in fear that she woke you up before her fun started, but she smiled when she realized you actually had no clue what was going on, subconsciously angling yourself at an even better position for her.

“look at that.. poor needy little thing just begging to be fucked even when she’s unconscious. how cute..”

she tapped her cock up against your clit a couple times before she ran through your slit down to your entrance, inching herself inside.

dragging out her slow thrust, she made sure to feel every single bit of you, taking in how your pussy stretched around her thick, long cock.

she let out a low groan when she hit your cervix, the whole length of her cock disappeared from view.

“shit.. y/n. you take me so fucking well. god, look at you baby.”

she pulled out of you at the same leisurely pace with no struggle, given how wet you already were.

sana lifted up her t-shirt with her left hand, bunching it up just above her breasts, her abs flexing with every breath she took.

her right hand stayed on the small of your back, holding you in place while she teased herself inside of you, thrusting in and out of you painfully slow.

“you feel so good like this, y/n. fuck, you were right. i should’ve just- fuck- came home and let you help me.”

her pace was getting sloppier, words struggling to become coherent.

“still not awake yet, love? better be dreaming of me if you’re sleeping this good.”

sana was closer to cumming than she thought, her neediness getting the best of her.

she leaned over your figure, hands landing on either side of you, lowering herself to fuck you at an insane pace.

“ ‘gna put a fucking baby in this pretty little pussy.”

you heard her voice right in your ear, slightly stirring out of your sleep.

sana moved her hips in an uncoordinated and messy rhythm, her drunkenness still apparent.

her thrusts were heavy, the whole bed shaking when she started fucking into you roughly.

you were almost fully awake now, feeling how full of your girlfriend’s cock you were, moaning lightly at the way sana pushed up against your sweet spot.

“s- sana..”

“aww, is my baby finally up? change your mind?”

sana stopped and waited for your approval, or any sign that you were genuinely uncomfortable.

“no, please. keep going..”

she leaned down to kiss your cheek, moving down to your neck, the smell of alcohol on her breath pungent.

“i knew you wanted it, baby. such a pretty fucking slut for me. you’d let me use you anytime, wouldn’t you?”

your breathy moans and whines encouraged sana to fuck you even faster than before, her growing urge to cum inside you being the only thing on her mind.

sana straightened herself back up and grabbed your hips, pulling you closer to her so that you were supported on your knees, face still down on your pillow.

her bruising grip stayed on both sides of your waist, resuming her animalistic speed.

you clutched onto the sheets below you, screaming out in pleasure into your silk pillow.

sana hated that your moans were muffled, she needed to hear every pretty sound you made.

her right hand left your side and made its way up to your hair, grabbing a fistful of your strands, yanking forcefully until you were flush up against her.

you yelped at her roughness, moaning at the way it turned you on twice as much.

“fuck, sana. just like that, fuck- please don’t fucking stop.”

“yeah? you like it when i fuck you like the toy you are? hm? ‘love it when i use you like a fucking fleshlight. dumb slut can’t even think right when i’m fuckin’ her this good.”

you moaned uncontrollably at sana’s words, your mind going blurrier and blurrier.

both you and sana’s moans were in sync, a perfect harmony.

“shit- i’m so fucking close y/n. ‘gna fucking cum inside you.”

“fuck, please, yes, please, i can take it, ‘just fucking get me pregnant.”

you didn’t even realize what you said, too fucked out to think rationally.

sana was basically growling in your ear, holding you tightly against her with her arms wrapped around your waist.

she let her grip on you go, flipping you over and pushing you down on your back, thrusting into you inhumanly fast.

tears rolled out the corners of your eyes, the pleasure overwhelming you.

sana’s hands wrapped around your throat, her eyes staring deeply into yours and her mouth slightly open, letting out short groans and curses.

“fuck fuck fuck, ‘m gonna cum, oh fuck-“

sana slammed her hips down, stilling her movements and moaning every time her cum pulsed out of her cock.

you felt her warm liquid filling you up, whining at the way her dick twitched inside you.

her hands loosened from your neck, her body crashing down onto yours as she tried to catch her breath.

she didn’t pull out yet, her dick too sensitive to move.

you reached your hands up to her hair, raking your fingers through her tangles, stroking her head gently.

the sleepiness was sneaking its way back to you, your eyes fluttering closed.

after a couple minutes of sana laying on top of you, she pulled out and looked up at you, kissing her way down your body.

she reached your sticky, cum-filled core, hovering over it with hungry eyes.

“let me clean you up, baby.”

you didn’t even care that sana stayed out too late anymore, she definitely made up for it.

#twice imagines #twice x reader #twice smut #kpop x reader #kpop gg #sana x reader #sana smut #minatozaki sana

[enchantressiren]

❝𝐏𝐀𝐂: 𝐈’𝐦 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞; 𝐧𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐞. 𝐈’𝐦 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐦.❞

Who are you and what makes you seductive? (Advice + Detailed)

Subliminal channel | Masterlist

Tips | Paid Readings

This is a tarot card reading. 3 cards were chosen. I added advice as well.

Normal intuitive readings: @sefinaa

Divider

Pile 1:

6 of wands, the hanged man, and 9 of cups.

Your desire for success and your goals to get whatever you want without letting obstacles hurt you are what make you seductive. I can feel that you have the fire within you, and you don’t let other people step over you. You also have a sense of enjoyment from protecting what you want, as you are reserved with your goals. Therefore, no one can sabotage you, and you cannot sabotage yourself either because it doesn’t make any sense to you. Why have the need to sabotage yourself like in the past? You come to the realization that it's not worth it because you have this mindset where you know you deserve good things. Some of you are questioning how this makes you seductive—nowadays, it’s very rare for someone to have this mindset. To be so authentic with other people without putting on a mask. How can that not make you seductive? To be able to have other people in your fingers, yet you do not have any intention to harm them. How can these qualities not make you seductive?

You don’t even do anything, and you’re able to get people to find you so attractive that they're actually turned on by you. Some of them have fantasies about you that are very spicy, and some of them have sexual fantasies about you that they actually want to pursue. A specific fantasy I’m feeling for them is that they want you to be submissive because I feel that a majority of you are a top leaning towards a vers. I’m getting that it’s a power dynamic situation. You have this persona of a dominant person, the leadership aura, which is people’s perception of you, but in reality, you’re very soft and calm, and I think this is what makes people so intrigued by you because you’re contradicting their impression of you.

With the hangman, this card represents self sacrifice and a release for something. So I’m feeling that some people that you are close with know that you are a person who values justice, and you do have this desire to help others without asking for anything in return, which would make sense with your soft personality. I hear that a lot of men actually find this very sexy, and I have an image of someone that you are acquainted with or know. They have a bright smile, and they have black hair. They’re light-skinned, and they wear casual clothing, primarily sweatpants or jackets, and you don’t see their shirt often. This person has feelings for you, but not as a crush, only as sexual attraction. I feel that this person often daydreams about BDSM with you and desires to pull your hair and dominate you, but they also want to be pegged by you when you are their dom. I’m also feeling this person is a masochist in terms of sex, and they definitely love to call you mistress/master or mommy/sir. Some of you feel uncomfortable with these terms, and some of you like them, but I feel that if you were to get into a friends with benefit relationship, you should be open with them about what makes you uncomfortable. Also, you’re going to enjoy the relationship, as it will open up the guards that you hold dearly. This person broke through your guards and showed you happiness and freedom; however, if you don’t get into a relationship with them, then you will find it on your own terms, which is the idea you have in mind right now. Some of it is your career, some is going back to college to change your major (which is something you have been scared to do; this is your confirmation), and for the rest, it’s living a little more. I see that you already do, but intuition says, “Explore more, eat such food, do something that you want too, but couldn’t do because of x. Take this time to enjoy life to the fullest.”

Going back to what makes you seductive, I’m also feeling that your idea of love—the way that you express your affection for other people—is also another way for you to heal yourself. I’m picking up that you used to be very selfish in the past—not in a way where you did things for yourself and prioritized yourself but in a way to hurt or harm others. Some of you did not acknowledge that you hurt them, but intuition tells me you’re doing this as a way to repay your sins. People have actually noticed and started to appreciate this quality because you have opened up about it. With this quality, you were able to have another secret admirer.

Intuition tells me this is a close friend of yours or will be; she has a goofy and sweet personality, and she likes wearing 80s clothing and/or cute clothing. She likes to experiment with her makeup style and prefers purple and maroon-red lipstick or purple and/or pastel green glitter eyeshadow. If you haven’t met this person, you will meet her in 2 to 3 months.

With the nine of cups, I'm able to channel that one of the best qualities that make people find you seductive is that you know you’re worth, you’re confident, and you truly love yourself. You are so proud of yourself for how long and how hard it was for you to come back from this mindset that you grew up with and got out of. Your environment wasn’t great, and it did not have the best influences, but you were the one who taught yourself how to better yourself, not for others but for self-improvement. This is what has triggered people to find you beautiful.

“They have all the qualities I want in a person to love and cherish. I want them, but I can’t have them because they want themselves.”

You were able to offer people this desire to come after you because you could offer them some sort of safety or protection. They feel so safe with you because you’re authentic with them, and it is so hard nowadays for authenticity. But because of the hardship that you went through and the environment you grew up in, you learned to understand how important it is to be your real self. Your authentic vibration is so hard to come by because you’re able to influence people in the best possible way. That is why you have so many people after you; that’s why you’re so seductive; that's why you’re so attractive because you have one of the best frequencies, authenticity.

I finished the reading at 4:49, and 449 means you should stay open to the opportunities life brings you. That you should understand that everything happens for a reason, and I feel as if you found this reading because you were looking for a sign to keep going. So you should keep going so you can open up your horizons even more than you already have. I think you should keep this mindset, because whoever you believe in—gods, god, the universe, yourself, etc.—will help you achieve what you want. This mindset is bringing you closer to your desired self or higher self, and some of you are struggling to keep at it because it's hard, and I completely understand. But I do want to remind you that I’m incredibly proud of you and that I am with you. So if you do not have anyone, please be aware that you have me.

Pile 2:

Queens of wands (reversed), kings of sword, and the devil (reversed).

The reason you are considered so seductive is because you portray a dominant and bold persona. You have these goals in mind, and you do not sit around. You actually work hard for it and obtain the desire that you want. You also have this mindset where, like, you don’t let anyone step over you. You also feel this need to push yourself to the limit to achieve what you want because you know the harder you work, the more you can achieve. But I feel that your intuition or your inner child wants you to back it down because you don’t have to work that hard to get what you want. I’m also hearing that your inner child wants you to take it easy and relax because they know that you can achieve what you want, and it's also important to prioritize your mental health or mental diet. Because without it, you won’t be able to function properly, and I feel like the majority of you reading this pile are burned out completely, and you’re actually killing yourself about it. But it is not necessary to do such thing because it is normal behavior. Also, my intuition says to take care of your mental health before you start achieving your goal again. Another thing that makes you attractive is the determination that you possess when it comes to your hobbies. I feel as though many of you have active hobbies or vigorously challenging hobbies in order to improve your growth in knowledge and physical strength. A lot of people have noticed that you have worked tremendously on your mental concept, and they have also noticed that you possess this sexiness by creating new goals or ideas to achieve when you’re in a stagnant period of your life.

With King of Swords, I’m picking up that you have this very smart mindset with people, like you’re very intelligent, great at explaining things, persuading people, and manipulating people, but I’m truthfully picking up that you have this magical aura when it comes to your knowledge. I can’t explain it properly, but the feeling that I feel as of right now.. is like I am in a fairytale with the smartest person in the world who is guiding me into the right path or my life purpose. That is how I feel about this pile. You have wisdom, and you guide people to the right path or whatever they have in mind. You have so much intellect to share because you have experienced so much, but you also have this power to change people’s minds. You’re also very calm, and I can also feel that you use your calmness to make people fall in love with you, so I’m also picking up some of your manipulation of other people, which makes you have them in your grasp and get what you desire. But I think, despite some of you having a manipulative interest when it comes to such things, you do honor your morals. Because I feel that those who have a manipulative personality reading this pile only do it on a whim or because the person deserves it. The majority of you have a moral code and aren’t manipulative; you truly honor your morals because, in a way, it keeps you grounded from doing something that you will regret in the future. And I know that a majority of you have done actions that you have regretted, and now you’re able to use the past to make the right choices in the present moment and the upcoming future.

With the devil card, I’m actually picking up what I wrote in the second paragraph. This card stems from freedom and release, as well as releasing control. I’m feeling that a lot of you actually spoke to people about the trouble you have with manipulating other people, and I know that some people find it seductive and you have noticed it. However, I think with the devil card, you actually understand that having such power can be dangerous, and you’re trying to change the way you manipulate your admirers. Some of you are trying to let go of the satisfaction of having such control, and the rest of you are trying to release this guiltiness when you unintentionally manipulate someone. And in order to incorporate what you desire, you must understand that these desires are natural to have, and you must understand not to kill yourself over them like you keep doing. If you implement the idea that this is wrong, this is right, and this is neutral, you are going to have this ideology that every small thing you do is wrong and the small mistakes are wrong. But you’re also going to have this assumption or idea in your mind 24/7 of what is right and what is wrong, and this idea will or has already drained you, and I believe that is what you were feeling right now.

Aside from the blunt answers that I have written for you, I think the most important thing that makes you seductive or why people are drawn to you is that you put yourself out there. A majority of you have an egotistical mindset, and some of you have a self-centered mindset. I see that all this stems from trying to protect yourself so you do not get hurt, which is ok, but if you were to implement your morals into the way you speak to others, then you'd be able to achieve what you desire because I know that this pile wants to better themselves and learn to not be so afraid of getting hurt.

Now, if we are speaking about the sexual part of this reading and what makes you so seductive, then you should know it’s the way that you act. With the word seduction, it sounds very sexual, but I think with this pile, it’s more like your appearance can seduce men without even trying. You have confidence, and people don’t expect that from the way you look. You kind of are a surprise to people, especially men, as people think you are an enigma. And I see that you are because during sex you are very submissive, or you’re a bottom unless angry.

When they degrade you, it’s kind of like a thrill for you because you get this anger inside as you use anger to bring out your dominant side. You flip to your masculine energy upon them as you take control during it. I also feel that you tend to use ropes when you take control with your person, partner, or whomever, like fwb, or one night stands, and such. But I feel that you somewhat have a rougher side when it comes to taking control, and I think you kind of seek entertainment when they’re slightly in pain (which is consensually). I also feel that, in general, you like to wear tight fitting clothing and "slutty clothing." Which breaks people's perception of you because of your presence or how you speak to them. I think when it comes to your face, you look younger than your age and have a baby face. And, as mentioned before, you are more confident and egotistical, so I believe you draw many eyes towards you because of your outfit, which is what truly makes you seductive. Because a lot of men will not admit it, but they do like this type of person (I am speaking of those whom you meet), and you like their attention, so you tend to accentuate your assets. Which works, and this is why you tend to be certain of their attention as well.

Pile 3:

Six of pentacles, four of wands, and ace of swords.

As a person, you like to prioritize other people's feelings, but you seem to forget about yourself. I’m seeing a golden cup that is filled with coins, riches, and jewels. I see 4 to 5 crows circling around as they peck on the coins, and the crows are the people who are after you because you let them walk over you. The jewels, or riches, are the love and generosity you give them. But the golden cup is your heart. My intuition is telling me that you are pure as a river as it flows around a rocky area. The rock area is the weight in your heart that is trying to balance out being kind to people while also being kind to yourself and trying to understand not to be a doormat. At this moment, I’m really picking up this feeling of sadness and anger. I feel like you guys are very angry with yourself, you’re very emotional, and you’re really hating yourself at the moment because you let people walk over you and you try your hardest for them, but you don’t get the same appreciation. When you let people walk over you, you allow yourself to fill a bottle; in this case, the bottle is overflowing, and some of it has exploded for others. I can feel a lot of wrath in my heart right now as I channel this message. There are a lot of emotions, and I cannot describe them all, but you must learn to channel the anger into something that can be symbolic for you. Trying to at least communicate how you feel with other people; if they do not reciprocate, leave them immediately because you must learn to self-respect yourself; you must learn to love yourself—that is what my intuition is literally screaming to me. You can also put your anger into words, like writing a song that you do not have to publish, writing poetry, writing a story, drawing, running, punching a pillow, etc. But what I do hear is that you must communicate with other people, because letting yourself be walked over does not benefit you in the long run. It only causes you more pain, and then you have a tendency to self sabotage.

The thing is, your good heart is what makes you seductive, but only from the people who show you the same love and appreciation. People get turned on by your innocence and your kindness. I’m also feeling that there’s a particular boy in your life who has a major crush on you despite your sexuality, and they like how cute, pure, and innocent you are. They have green eyes, brown hair, and a mole on their left cheek. I hear that some of you have a mask of this “cuteness persona,” and they can see right through it. But I’m not talking about the mask that you put out; I’m talking about the pureness inside your heart despite the hardship, despite some people not showing the same appreciation, despite people walking over you, etc. Despite all this.. you still show the same love nonetheless, and I know you have anger inside of you.. but I know you still show such kindness to other people because you think that people deserve the same kindness. You believe everyone has a bad day, and you know what that’s like, so you want to spread kindness and positivity to people, and frankly, I think that’s quite gorgeous—and so does this guy.

With the four of Wands, I can see you as a person who has a lot of respect for the homeless shelters and those who volunteer. I also see you as someone who has a desire to help poor people and those who are also orphans at the orphanage. Some of you are actually already volunteering during your free time with homeless people, and you guys have a great reputation within the community. As for the rest of you, you don't have enough time for it, or your parents won’t allow it, as some of you do live with your parents due to cultural backgrounds or because you do not have enough money to support yourself. I'm feeling that the majority of you, though, do live alone, whether with a roommate or in your own apartment. But you really do want to help the homeless, which is what I can feel. With the four wands, the card is about community and support, showing a sense of security and safety. And honestly, that is what I feel with you guys. You guys are basically this tarot card. You guys have a sweet and caring soul. And you bring a sense of safety, and people feel at home with you. And as I mentioned before, this is truly one of your biggest qualities with you being seductive. People have noticed your genuineness in helping others without expecting anything in return. And you look forward to this. Your enthusiasm to help others is what has brought a lot of people to you, especially in this community. Even if you haven't started to volunteer with other people, when you do, more people will come to you because your heart is so pure. People can feel it. Try to imagine an angel on Earth. That is what my intuition is telling me and showing me this image of you where a bright white light is surrounding you and glowing inside and outside of you. That is your energy.

Another thing that makes you seductive is the way you present yourself to others with the facade when your admirers know damn well you aint innocent. You do come off as pure and innocent. But I know that a lot of you are not because you guys are some kinky people lol. I swear, I can feel you guys having a dirty (emphasis on dirty) mind. But you like to hide it with your innocent facade. And some of you watch adult content, and some of you read steamy books. You guys like the steamiest things, and honestly, some of you are ashamed of it, but please do not be; it's completely normal, and that's not something to be ashamed of. But I do like to remind you that your admirers do like this part of you; for them, it is simply a mystery. I believe they like this idea of fun, as if you’re a puzzle in the wrong puzzle box. That is the energy I feel. Because of your contradictory personality, you have achieved this idea of sexiness without even realizing it.

With the ace of swords, I feel as though you already know about the struggles and trauma you are facing. The majority of you are having a realization of what’s wrong. That you allow people to walk over you like you are a doormat. The ace of swords is, in my opinion, about strength and about how we can find solutions within our minds because we are all intelligent. I find that people go through external means to find a solution. But with you, I feel as though you’re working on it internally to understand how to give yourself more self-respect. I believe I have already mentioned this; however, I feel What makes you seductive is self-explanatory. I believe that with the energy that I’m channeling, your last seductive quality is how you work on your own problems without bringing other people down and asking for help. You rely on yourself because you know that people will always come to you for advice. I can tell that you have come to the realization that you are the key that opens up people's worlds, and you open it up, expand their horizons, and make them understand their worth. So now you’re embodying this idea, this ideology, onto you, and I feel that as of now everything makes a lot of sense. I feel like this is why I could not channel your message for 2 weeks because your energy just changed. When you read this, you will have shifted to the right path, as my intuition says.

I hear my intuition tell me that some of you wanted to ask a question, but then you guys are looking at tarot card readings on Tumblr, and some of you are finding them on different sources. I also feel like some of you guys are using those spinning wheel generators with yes, no, and maybe for questions that need to be answered. I need to tell you that the answer that you are looking for is within yourself, but you do not accept it because you do not like the answer. Sometimes we have questions about life and we want a different answer, and sometimes when we find out, we want to change it because that's not what we want, but that does not help us in our path and how we can enjoy life, so you must listen to yourself and your intuition because all of you do not listen to it at all. Some of you say logic this, logic that, and some of you say or listen to what your heart feels at that very moment, and both of these are ok, but it is important to prioritize your intuition because it knows best. And I understand what it’s like to follow logic more than your intuition, as this is how human brains function because of what society taught us and this is how we have grown up. However, it is important to prioritize your intuition in these circumstances if you want to heal from the trauma that you’re putting away from fear.

I know that a majority of you wanted to come here and find out what makes you seductive, but you got more advice than qualities, and I believe it’s because you need to focus on your healing. I did mention 3–4 qualities, which is very true for you, so do not worry that you are not seductive because you are, and I can feel your energy. It’s very beautiful. However, I want you to really focus on healing yourself and saying positive affirmations. Try to at least allow yourself to disconnect from those who do not treat you well, and make sure to learn how to say no and prioritize yourself so you don’t end up in a rabbit hole. Because I feel your emotions right now, and it has a lot of anxiety, and that is what I’m feeling right now. My heart is beating very fast, and that is what you guys feel on a daily basis, so please take care of yourself. I would truly appreciate it if you learned how to do the things that make you happy, because I feel like if I were to meet you, I would want to give you a hug, and I don’t like to do it that much. I feel like you guys need so much affection and love, and your inner child is hurting, so at least show them that love. So prioritize yourself, make sure to take care of yourself, and do not worry if people do not like you when you learn to do better for yourself. You're doing this for a reason, so you can become your higher self. The people who are meant to stay in our lives are meant to be with us and will help us achieve our higher selves. For those who are not meant to stay with us, I truly believe they are a lesson. I feel like they are there to teach us something so we can become the people we are meant to be, but we cannot become them if we don’t learn what’s right for us.

I also feel like some of you need some words of encouragement, so allow me to be that person.

“You are a strong person, and I truly believe that you are meant to do great things in life. I truly believe and I see your future that you will be happy and you will have the most beautiful things you cannot imagine as of now, but when it does happen, your heart will be content and you will find the person who makes you feel all giggly inside, whether that’s a platonic lover or a romantic lover. Your family does not despise you as much as you want to believe. It is true that your family cares for you. I’m not talking about your biological family, as the majority of you have a lot of trauma and a shitty family; I’m speaking about those who are friends or coworkers, or even your pet(s) or one of your siblings. They care about you, and they love you. A family does not have to be blood related. It can be anyone; maybe your favorite YouTuber or social media creators are like family to you; then, so be it, and they care about you. I feel as some of you feel it with me.. I prefer to be humble, but I feel like some of you feel like I am there to help, that I listen, that I care, and that you enjoy my content and that I’m like family to you, so be it. People love you, and people care about you. I care about you, and I enjoy your company, whether it’s anonymous or not, but you must know that you are not worthless. You are worthy and you are so loved right now, and I can feel this sense of peace right now as I channel your message. I can feel this sense of comfort, and some of you right now are taking a picture of this or screen recording it. And I also feel some of you are crying because I can feel your inner pain or because I understand you (because people don’t), and I am glad I can be the light for you. I am glad you found this pile because it's meant for you. I am delighted and blessed you want to change yourself and that you want grow as a person and feel more safe within yourself. And I know you are scared right now because you do not know what will happen, but do you know that this journey will be beautiful. It will not be all rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes it will be skulls and lightning. But that is how all journeys are, and at the end, it’s always the most beautiful of them all. And that is who you will become. I can feel this beautiful and mesmerizing energy from your higher self. It’s so calming and so soothing. I feel like I’m in heaven right now. I feel peace, I feel happy, and I feel like crying, and honestly, I feel like once you achieve them, you will feel the same peace I feel right now.” —my intuition.

#18+ tarot #free tarot readings #tarot reading #pick a photo #collective reading #tarot community #channeled message #free tarot #PAC #pick a card #pick a pile #pick a pile reading #divination #tarot deck #tarot readers of tumblr #tarotcommunity #daily tarot #tarot #tarot cards #tarot witch #witchy #witches of tumblr #witch community #witchcraft #oracle #spicymessages #18+ only #18+ post #18+ content #18+ minors dni

[tim-drake-scholar]

Tims “main event” timeline is actually so wild bc he became Robin through bc of his hyper-fixation when he was 14, trained for 6 months in Paris. Something about lady shiva? Stuff happened. He’s in boarding school. His roommate has a drinking problem. Then his mom died, his dad almost died, went into a coma, woke up, went into rehab, dated his nurse, married his nurse, lost the family fortune forcing Tim to drop out of boarding school and move into an apartment downtown and go to public school. He meets Bernard. His dad learns he’s Robin. Tim quits being Robin. Stephanie becomes Robin for a bit? Tim goes back to being Robin. His dad is murdered by captain boomerang. Stephanie died? Jason comes back to life? There’s a school shooting and his public school is closed. He goes to a different high school. Bruce tried to adopt him and he invents a fake uncle. Stephanie is alive. Jason playfully tries to kill him/commit acts of psychological warfare? Damian shows up. He’s no longer Robin. Bruce goes missing in time/dead? Jason tried to kill him again? Red Robin era. He dropped out of high school. Bruce is alive, Tim was right. Oh Tim just realized he’s bisexual and he has to save his crush from the pain cult. They’re boyfriends now. He lives on a boat. He’s 18/19

All the while he was in teen titans and young justice. His best friend died. He did cloning experiments? He watched Santa die?? He traveled the multiverse several times? Stephanie was pregnant at some point? He dated so many girls? His future self is evil and loves to psychologically torment his present day self? Wild

When did you have the time Tim? When?

I know this timeline isn’t 100% accurate but it’s pretty damn close

#Tim drake #absolutely incredible #over achiever #what does his google calendar look like #dick grayson #jason todd #damian #damian wayne #bruce wayne #red robin #tim drake robin #dc comics

[theerurishipper]

I feel like people really underestimate the importance of Dick being the first Robin. Like, reverse Robin AUs are interesting and such, but I just hope people realize that in the context of canon, they would never work. The reason Batman and Robin ever works is because the first Robin was Dick Grayson specifically. Because Bruce would never have taken in any child if Dick's tragedy hadn't specifically happened to mirror his own experience. Dick Grayson was the only one Bruce truly saw himself in first, because the fundamental event that defines them is the same. And he sees the opportunity to help someone the way he was never helped, to make sure that Dick didn't go down the dark path he did. So, my point here is that the only one Bruce actually made the choice to take in, the only one who could kickstart it all, is Dick Grayson, because he is the only one with whom Bruce could immediately empathize and connect with.

This never happened with any other Robin. He took in Jason because he missed Dick, he took in Tim because Tim forced himself into the role, he took in Steph because he was trying to make Tim come back to being Robin, and Dick made Damian Robin. Of course, he loved all of them, and they all have their unique relationships with Bruce that are very important and inform their characters, and he does need them too. But he specifically formed this connection with Dick that made Dick the only person he ever considered taking in. It took a very specific set of circumstances in Dick's backstory that made Bruce commit an impulse adoption that just isn't really present in any other Robin's story. And the reason Jason or Tim or Steph or Damian or anyone else whom Bruce has taken under his wing even got that chance is because of the work Dick Grayson put into Bruce Wayne.

Before Dick, Bruce was reckless and didn't care at all about himself, to the point of almost being borderline suicidal. He was more brutal, more violent, etc. The reason all this changed, is because of Dick Grayson specifically. He was the one with whom Bruce opened up, with whom Bruce was forced to grow up, to take responsibility and learn to take care of both Dick and himself. Dick, to Bruce was the one who brought "color to their [his and Alfred's] monochrome lives." Dick Grayson's specific brand of happiness and joy changed Bruce for the better. Dick gave Bruce hope. This is true for other Robins too, but only because they followed the precedent that Dick Grayson set, only because they slid into his role (they have their own interesting relationships with Bruce, but this specifically is from Dick that other Robins carried on. A legacy, if you will). Dick Grayson turned Bruce into the kind of man who would become a serial adopter.

Without his influence, without his precedent, there would be no Batfamily, because Bruce would never have gotten to the point where he would be able or willing to take in someone else and care for them properly (It took living through his trauma again to get him to take Dick in lmao). Hell, there would be no Batman because Bruce would have gotten himself killed a long time ago if Dick hadn't helped him learn self-care. Dick knows Bruce best, because he understands him on a fundamentally deeper level than anyone else in the world. And he's the only one who can make Bruce open up at his rawest, most downtrodden state. He is the only one who can give Bruce at his lowest that kind of hope. There is no Robin without Dick Grayson. It's literally a tribute to his parents, using their colors and the name his mother called him. He created that identity as a symbol of hope. He helped Bruce become the kind of man who could and would let other people that he had to care for into his life. Without Dick Grayson, you can simply forget about any other Robin or the Batfamily as a concept even existing.

#DC #DCU #DC Comics #Bruce Wayne #Batman #Dick Grayson #Jason Todd #Tim Drake #Stephanie Brown #Damian Wayne #Nightwing #Red Hood #Red Robin #Spoiler #Robin #The Batman 2022 #Robin I #My meta #Meta #TL;DR Dick Grayson is the only one who is emotionally intelligent enough to be an emotional crutch to pull Bruce Wayne out of the darkness #And without him Bruce never would have taken in anyone else #This post is mainly about The Batman 2022 btw #I see a lot of people asking for Robin but they want Jason to be the first Robin for some reason #And that's interesting but Bruce doesn't need just a Robin. He needs Dick specifically #That's what's best for his character progression and it makes the most sense from a thematic perspective too #But that's for another post

[makingqueerhistory]

Queer Books Challenged in Florida Schools and Libraries

There are some affiliate links below in case you want to support MQH.

Gender Queer: A Memoir, Maia Kobabe: Now, Gender Queer is here. Maia's intensely cathartic autobiography charts eir journey of self-identity, which includes the mortification and confusion of adolescent crushes, grappling with how to come out to family and society, bonding with friends over erotic gay fanfiction, and facing the trauma and fundamental violation of pap smears.

The Color Purple, Alice Walker: Separated as girls, sisters Celie and Nettie sustain their loyalty to and hope in each other across time, distance and silence. Through a series of letters spanning nearly thirty years, first from Celie to God, then the sisters to each other despite the unknown, the novel draws readers into its rich and memorable portrayals of Celie, Nettie, Shug Avery and Sofia and their experience. The Color Purple broke the silence around domestic and sexual abuse, narrating the lives of women through their pain and struggle, companionship and growth, resilience and bravery.

Julián Is a Mermaid, Jessica Love: While riding the subway home from the pool with his abuela one day, Julián notices three women spectacularly dressed up. Their hair billows in brilliant hues, their dresses end in fishtails, and their joy fills the train car. When Julián gets home, daydreaming of the magic he's seen, all he can think about is dressing up just like the ladies in his own fabulous mermaid costume: a butter-yellow curtain for his tail, the fronds of a potted fern for his headdress. But what will Abuela think about the mess he makes -- and even more importantly, what will she think about how Julián sees himself? Mesmerizing and full of heart, Jessica Love's author-illustrator debut is a jubilant picture of self-love and a radiant celebration of individuality.

Drama: A Graphic Novel, Raina Telgemeier: Callie loves theater. And while she would totally try out for her middle school's production of Moon over Mississippi, she can't really sing. Instead she's the set designer for the drama department's stage crew, and this year she's determined to create a set worthy of Broadway on a middle-school budget. But how can she, when she doesn't know much about carpentry, ticket sales are down, and the crew members are having trouble working together? Not to mention the onstage AND offstage drama that occurs once the actors are chosen. And when two cute brothers enter the picture, things get even crazier!

Cemetery Boys, Aiden Thomas: Yadriel has summoned a ghost, and now he can't get rid of him. When his traditional Latinx family has problems accepting his true gender, Yadriel becomes determined to prove himself a real brujo. With the help of his cousin and best friend Maritza, he performs the ritual himself, and then sets out to find the ghost of his murdered cousin and set it free. However, the ghost he summons is actually Julian Diaz, the school's resident bad boy, and Julian is not about to go quietly into death. He's determined to find out what happened and tie off some loose ends before he leaves. Left with no choice, Yadriel agrees to help Julian, so that they can both get what they want. But the longer Yadriel spends with Julian, the less he wants to let him leave.

I Am Billie Jean King, Brad Meltzer: This friendly, fun biography series focuses on the traits that made our heroes great--the traits that kids can aspire to in order to live heroically themselves. Each book tells the story of one of America's icons in a lively, conversational way that works well for the youngest nonfiction readers and that always includes the hero's childhood influences. At the back are an excellent timeline and photos. This volume features Billie Jean King, the world champion tennis player who fought successfully for women's rights. From a young age, Billie Jean King loved sports--especially tennis! But as she got older, she realized that plenty of people, even respected male athletes, didn't take women athletes seriously. She set to prove them wrong and show girls everywhere that sports are for everyone, regardless of gender.

This One Summer, Mariko Tamaki: Every summer, Rose goes with her mom and dad to a lake house in Awago Beach. It's their getaway, their refuge. Rosie's friend Windy is always there, too, like the little sister she never had. But this summer is different. Rose's mom and dad won't stop fighting, and when Rose and Windy seek a distraction from the drama, they find themselves with a whole new set of problems. One of the local teens - just a couple of years older than Rose and Windy - is caught up in something bad... Something life threatening. It's a summer of secrets, and sorrow, and growing up, and it's a good thing Rose and Windy have each other.

Marriage of a Thousand Lies, Sj Sindu: Lucky and her husband, Krishna, are gay. They present an illusion of marital bliss to their conservative Sri Lankan-American families, while each dates on the side. It's not ideal, but for Lucky, it seems to be working. She goes out dancing, she drinks a bit, she makes ends meet by doing digital art on commission. But when Lucky's grandmother has a nasty fall, Lucky returns to her childhood home and unexpectedly reconnects with her former best friend and first lover, Nisha, who is preparing for her own arranged wedding with a man she's never met.

And Tango Makes Three, Peter Parnell: At the penguin house at the Central Park Zoo, two penguins named Roy and Silo were a little bit different from the others. But their desire for a family was the same. And with the help of a kindly zookeeper, Roy and Silo got the chance to welcome a baby penguin of their very own.

More Happy Than Not, Adam Silvera: In the months following his father's suicide, sixteen-year-old Aaron Soto can't seem to find happiness again, despite the support of his girlfriend, Genevieve, and his overworked mom. Grief and the smile-shaped scar on his wrist won't let him forget the pain. But when Aaron meets Thomas, a new kid in the neighborhood, something starts to shift inside him. Aaron can't deny his unexpected feelings for Thomas despite the tensions their friendship has created with Genevieve and his tight-knit crew. Since Aaron can't stay away from Thomas or turn off his newfound happiness, he considers taking drastic actions. The Leteo Institute's revolutionary memory-altering procedure will straighten him out, even if it means forgetting who he truly is.

Melissa, Alex Gino: When people look at Melissa, they think they see a boy named George. But she knows she's not a boy. She knows she's a girl.

Melissa thinks she'll have to keep this a secret forever. Then her teacher announces that their class play is going to be Charlotte's Web. Melissa really, really, REALLY wants to play Charlotte. But the teacher says she can't even try out for the part... because she's a boy.

With the help of her best friend, Kelly, Melissa comes up with a plan. Not just so she can be Charlotte -- but so everyone can know who she is, once and for all.

A Quick & Easy Guide to Queer & Trans Identities, Mady G, Jules Zuckerberg: In this quick and easy guide to queer and trans identities, cartoonists Mady G and Jules Zuckerberg guide you through the basics of the LGBT+ world! Covering essential topics like sexuality, gender identity, coming out, and navigating relationships, this guide explains the spectrum of human experience through informative comics, interviews, worksheets, and imaginative examples. A great starting point for anyone curious about queer and trans life, and helpful for those already on their own journeys!

This Book Is Gay, Juno Dawson: This candid, funny, and uncensored exploration of sexuality and what it's like to grow up LGBTQ also includes real stories from people across the gender and sexual spectrums, not to mention hilarious illustrations.

Little & Lion, Brandy Colbert: When Suzette comes home to Los Angeles from her boarding school in New England, she's isn't sure if she'll ever want to go back. L.A. is where her friends and family are (as well as her crush, Emil). And her stepbrother, Lionel, who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, needs her emotional support. But as she settles into her old life, Suzette finds herself falling for someone new...the same girl her brother is in love with. When Lionel's disorder spirals out of control, Suzette is forced to confront her past mistakes and find a way to help her brother before he hurts himself--or worse.

King and the Dragonflies, Kacen Callender: Twelve-year-old Kingston James is sure his brother Khalid has turned into a dragonfly. When Khalid unexpectedly passed away, he shed what was his first skin for another to live down by the bayou in their small Louisiana town. Khalid still visits in dreams, and King must keep these secrets to himself as he watches grief transform his family.

It would be easier if King could talk with his best friend, Sandy Sanders. But just days before he died, Khalid told King to end their friendship, after overhearing a secret about Sandy-that he thinks he might be gay. "You don't want anyone to think you're gay too, do you?"

Sorted: Growing Up, Coming Out, and Finding My Place: A Transgender Memoir, Jackson Bird: An unflinching and endearing memoir from LGBTQ+ advocate Jackson Bird about how he finally sorted things out and came out as a transgender man.When Jackson Bird was twenty-five, he came out as transgender to his friends, family, and anyone in the world with an internet connection. Assigned female at birth and raised as a girl, he often wondered if he should have been born a boy. Jackson didn't share this thought with anyone because he didn't think he could share it with anyone.

The Black Flamingo, Dean Atta: Michael is a mixed-race gay teen growing up in London. All his life, he's navigated what it means to be Greek-Cypriot and Jamaican--but never quite feeling Greek or Black enough.

As he gets older, Michael's coming out is only the start of learning who he is and where he fits in. When he discovers the Drag Society, he finally finds where he belongs--and the Black Flamingo is born

Explore the full list here.

#queer history #queer #lgbt #lgbt history #gay history #lesbian history #transgender history #transgender #making queer history

[inkskinned]

in recent years, there's been a push in therapeutic circles to shift the language from "attention-seeking" to "connection-seeking" behavior.

i was an attention-seeker. i was the textbook example of an attention-seeker. i was a troublemaker. i would self-harm. i destroyed my own relationships. i was uncontrolled, dramatic, sensitive. i took everything personally. i had "nothing" to be depressed "about," but made a big show of how sad i was nonetheless. i was really unsafe about myself in a lot of ways.

the strange thing about that is: it meant others could ignore me. the prevailing wisdom behind knowing something is "attention seeking" is to say: well, since you want it that bad, you're not getting any. it meant i was lower-on-the-list of concern. it meant an eye-roll.

the belief was that: since i was obviously doing these things on purpose, it would be bad behavioral training if i was "rewarded" for it. it would "teach me" that i simply had to make enough fuss, and i'd finally get all that missing attention and love. no, it was better to ignore that stuff.

i was suffering. and it felt like - oh, it doesn't matter how loudly i am in pain, nobody gives a shit about if i'm living or dying.

awhile ago, i went through my journals from that time. a lot of them read the same thing. in them, i am convinced i am invisible. that nobody wants to hear me, to see me. that i could die or vanish and nobody would even notice. i didn't even want attention - not really - because it was always dismissive, mocking. nothing i ever did would be good enough to get someone to actually-worry about me.

that's a terrifying thing for me to read as an adult. that is a child who fully has no problem committing. that is a child who has no concept of feeling loved. the most basic human instinct is missing from her life.

i needed help. i didn't know how to ask for it. i was a kid. i was a kid in a bad home, and whenever i thought things couldn't get worse there - they almost always did.

and the ways i showed that - the ways i tried to deal with that - they made others dismiss me. i wasn't suffering prettily. after all, if i was really in trouble, why wouldn't i just march into the first counselor's office and ask someone to help me? i had the opportunities, right? what did i think would happen, exactly? that someone would finally stand up and do something? who even wants that kind of responsibility?

i heard connection-seeking for the first time about three months ago. my therapist mentioned it when we were talking about my history. it rang some kind of horrible bell, deep inside me. i don't know what she said in the rest of her sentence. i just started... crying.

"oh no", i said to her. "i think i just realized: i have no idea how to forgive them for minimizing the ways i was hurting."

how many other kids, though. how many other kids were out there drowning, snatching around for a lifevest, some kind of rope - how many were straight-up ignored.

how many of those kids aren't gonna get old.

#the thing i teach my preschoolers is #if something bad happens to u #and it hurts you #tell someone #and KEEP TELLING SOMEONE #UNTIL SOMEONE BELIEVES YOU #it is NEVER your fault for telling the truth #it is THEIR fault for not hearing you #if you are like me and ''attention seeking'' #please #if u can #GET HELP. GET THE HELP YOU NEED. #at some point we all have to do this on our own #it has to be our own personal work #but you DESERVE someone who will help you to do that work #a therapist a teacher a doctor whomever #YOU DESERVE HELP. #you deserve connection #and i love you #suicide implied #tw self harm

[avatar-anna]

Heat Wave

it is once again extremely hot where i live and that means it's time for another self-indulgent blurb!

"No, bubba. Not right now. It's too hot."

"No? No?" Harry said, nuzzling his nose deeper into your neck, his hands gripping your sides and making you squirm beneath him. "I'm trying to love on you, and you're telling me no?"

"Please, H, I'm so sweaty, and you're—"

"Laying with my beautiful, lovely, sexy girlfriend," he said. "Come on baby. You really expect me to react differently when you're practically wearing nothing? I'm a gentleman, not a saint."

You huffed and rolled your eyes before resting your hands on his broad shoulders, trying to push your boyfriend away to no avail. Harry had always been the clingy type, and you always found it cute and endearing, but today was a little different. With this heatwave, you could hardly stand doing much of anything, least of all cuddle with your boyfriend. Harry didn't seem to be affected by the excessive heat, though. You were minding your own business on the couch while he answered various phone calls when he plopped himself on top of you. Even in just a pair of cotton shorts and bra, you couldn't escape the heat. And now that definitely wouldn't happen seeing as Harry was making himself comfortable on top of you.

"Come on, I just want a kiss," he insisted, raising his head up so your gaze could meet his. "Just one."

"It's never just one with you," you mumbled, passing your thumb over his bottom lip absentmindedly.

"That's because you always want more. Don't act like you're so innocent, missy."

He might've had a point. Harry may have typically been the one to initiate things, but you were always eager to follow his lead, maybe even sometimes take over. But not today. Not when it was unbearably hot.

But when he kept looking at you the way he was...

"One kiss. One," you relented, lacing a hand through his hair. He was right, you really couldn't help yourself anymore than he could.

Harry grinned so wide, as if you'd given him bigger news than allowing him a kiss. But that was Harry. From the day you met, he worshiped the ground you walked on, always giving the love he knew you deserved and never once making you question it. You loved him just as much, just as fiercely, you were just a little more subtle about it.

You awaited your kiss, thinking Harry would take his time, make it an extra long kiss to try and make you cave. But he just continued to smile at you, his expression becoming more and more mischievous by the second.

"Bubba? Aren't you going to—Hey!"

You'd been leaning against the armrest of the couch until Harry promptly yanked you down, your head hitting one of the plush cushions with a soft thud. You were too surprised by his actions to realize he was moving quickly now. He inched his way down your body before shimmying your shorts down your hips.

"H—Harry!" you stuttered, laughing through your astonishment.

"I said I wanted a kiss, I never said where," Harry said simply, crooked grin deepening when he realized you weren't wearing underwear under your shorts.

And he was holding true to that. Harry's nose brushed up against your stomach now, but he hadn't puckered his lips yet.

"Cheeky bastard," you muttered, a grin spreading across your lips. "Fine, you win."

"You make it seem like this is such a burden, he teased. "I could always just go, you know. I know you're really hot and everything and I have another call in a bit, so—"

Harry tried to get up off the couch, making a good show of actually wanting to move from his position when you both knew he didn't. But your grip on his hair tightened to keep him exactly where he was, which only made him give you a knowing grin.

"Here, let's get rid of this. You'll feel much cooler," he said, thumbing at the hem of your bralette and urging you to take it off.

You gave him an exasperated look before crossing your arms across your chest and taking hold of your bralette. Harry kept his eyes on yours as you lifted it up and over your head, though when you settled back against the couch, his gaze began to wander.

Rolling your eyes, you tipped his chin up with a finger, smoothing a stray curl out of his face with your other hand. "You're quite pleased with yourself, aren't you?"

Harry shrugged, everything in the movement almost irritatingly smug. He didn't need to say anything in reply, you could read his face like your favorite book.

"Better make that kiss count, bubba."

"I plan to."

#harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles fic #harry styles one shot

[nagy-bari]

on the appeal of Chilchuck Tims

short spoilery rambles on why i zero-ed in on this old man instantly and how i realized the patterns he gets to people.

subversion of the trope: oh they just look like a child while actually they are XXXX years old and--- yes. he's older than he looks, with a good 10 years and it's a boyman design now instead of a loli girl.

BUT wait there's more!

he's older than he looks and he has the experience of his actual age: that man is a father. of 3. the story he's in is his midlife crisis. he's planning on retiring from dungeering after this, he asked for payment UPFRONT (and got it) he has insane (for other characters, but really he's just normal, tries to be normal) work ethics - he got paid, he does the job, he's good at the job, he knows his own worth, strength and limits.

This Man Is Self Aware. He knows his weakness, the job's weakness (how adventure parties slip up and why) he knows he's seen as a bit closed up and he's OKAY WITH THIS.

what he's not okay with? not knowing if a party member is a cannibal or not when they are on this insane survival trip and he's the cook. what does he do?

he knows how to communicate and how much to disclose. Rare one, i know. With the party having an average gossip queen, an autistic foodie, and mysterious chef he knows when to take the lead so they can still function.

so to round it up:

Subversion of the 'looks young actually old', closed up and grumpy rouge who's motto is 'never trust those who don't ask for payment' and has the 'it's called personal life for a reason' philosophy rooted into their blood. Good? good.

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE

because he knows he and all halffoots look young to others he actually started up a guild so they can re-enforce their rights as adults and independent people, so they are taken seriously and they can work against bad stereotypes and all.

we see his struggle through volumes, how hard it is for others to finally understand that a short live-spam people is actually just as old and mature as a long live-spam would be, it's mostly the numbers that are different.

we can learn with the other character to take him seriously, to accept the differences.

so he has good work ethic, looks out for his people, has plans for his and other's future, CARES for the future in general and ACTS so it will be a reality- rather sooner than later.

so he's charismatic and lovable while still being the usual tsundere setup for any joke.

BUT WAIT

THERE'S MORE

we first learned that he's actually is an adult (middle aged in half-foot culture)

is an estranged husband

who was left by his wife

cause he cheated-

BUT WAIT ACTUALLY NO

HE LIES ABOUT THE CHEATING!

cause he wants to keep his work persona intact, and it fits more if he says he cheated, cause then people won't BOTHER him with further details

BUT HE DIDN'T

he just went home one day and the wife was gone, with a note

and we learn ALL of this through a subversion of a UNICORN BICORN TALE - a feckin roll up of the whole pure maiden true virtue stuff - and we find out cause the feckin monster SNEERS AT HIM for lying then bites him.

so he's really soft with all the hidden 'better keep to yourself' and don't jump to conclusions cause that only fuels drama, which will hinder your work. but he was clearly hurt by this.

so the subversion here? we are Marcille. the whole fandom is Marcille. we are just as nosy and gossipy as her and it's a tiny little metanarrative joke and i love it, it's wonderful writing and it keeps you wanting more and more, you want this grumpy middle aged father to finally tell you his life story, the mundane little things, to see him brag about his children and all cause he's so goshdarn professional about everything.

but is it subversion at all?

wait...

there's more.

while we get actual introduction to his daughters we truly never seen anything about his wife.

it reaches the hights of Mrs. Columbo level of secrecy and i love it.

but! we know:

they were childhood friends

married when Chilchuck was 13 (almost full grown adult for their culture) and had the twins(?)

left their village at 14

3rd daughter at 15

he started adventuring at age 24 and formed the guild.

wife left when he was 25

Chilchuck started to work with Laios at 26.

he's now almost 29.

they were childhood friends and married for a good 10 year. he was there when he was needed to be a good dad (he's clearly proud of his daughters) and their fallout only started when he started adventuring.

let me say it again.

they. were. childhood. friends.

as much as we see the unfolding of young love in media, with all the teen dramas finding true and forever love in highschool and live happily with the white picket fence for 50+ years we see less of the loves that fizzle out, but were and probably will be friends.

love this. love this little detail cause there's so much in it. The confusion, the still remaining anger, the fustration. they probably would be able to talk it out. they've known each other for most of their life, but his logic and compromises for work (clear communication and a clear head) does not work here.

we don't know how exactly he feels and i love that, but we know he struggles to be open about 'mushy' feelings, grand gestures and all.

he knows his limits. His wife probably knows it too. That's why she's with the middle daughter. The assumed-ly closest to her rather than the oldest (locksmith) or the youngest (conartist?freelancer?life-artist???)

if we learned anything from Dungeon Mushi, it's that Kui Ryoko is a master of diverse characters visually and personality wise as well.

you can reverse engineer the wife if you want to from the girls but i love the joke and the actual comfort this whole Mrs. Columbo it gives.

cause Chilchuck has Columbo vibes. He's competent in his work, knows his limits, knows how to help others and when, knows when to quit and when to move on. and this tiny flaw of his, this domestic mystery we assume is his background (and ground of his disarming normality) is just enough to keep you thinking and re-think and re-think and just grow to love and appreciate the little details and love that was poured into this character of many in this wonderful story.

BUT WAIT

THERE'S MORE

yes he's a father

the dad jokes. oh my good the hidden dad jokes all through-out the series.

the 'i don't want a pet' ---- 'proceeds to be unseparable from said pet' meme with Izutsumi

the actual care and attention he can give when someone is distressed

the TALK with Senshi. that moment.

he's a proud father

but he's above all - practical

well that's all the mad rambling i had in me for now

if you read through this thank you

and do share your thoughts and finds - and ideas about the wife.

#chilchuck's wife #chilchuck tims #dungeon meshi #spoilers #character ramble #with pictures this time #kudos for Kui Ryoko for sharing her lovely OCs and this wonderful adventure #and for all the backlore #and all the jokes #go read it if you haven't

[romeosharpae]

“FOUR MONTHS”

theodore nott x reader

(Yes after one year I'm back with toxic Theodore Nott). You don't have to read part one..

Warnings; Possessive behavior, manipulation, toxic relationships, mentions of obsession, mature sex scenes, unprotected sex, rough sex, swearing, smoking, degradation (Not a lot), theodore nott × female feader, toxic! theodore nott

parts: 1,

There was something in the air this morning, a soothing feeling that made you a little more peppy. So as you skipped to the great hall, books clutched tightly to your chest, a small smile couldn’t help but to be on your lips.

It was the winter — your favorite season, so perhaps that was the reason for your sudden happiness this morning. You’d even wore a little grin through transfiguration, your least favorite class at Hogwarts.

But you were a happy girl generally, nice to everyone who crossed your path. You helped little first years avoid experiencing the wrath of Draco Malfoy. You also helped professors (For sure not Mcgonagal) help clean up after compliance lessons.

That’s just who you are.

“You look pretty today,” Is what Hermione Granger, your best friend, greets you with as you took a seat aside her. No you weren’t a Gryffindor — but you often found yourself sitting at the orange and red more than your own.

“Yeah, I like what you’ve done to your hair.” Harry Potter lowly added in with a sly smile, and you simply reflected it. Ron Weasley, who was aside Hermione let out a little snort in response to his best friend’s attempt to flirt.

Harry Potter – the boy who lived, the boy who everyone without any sort of spite or jealousy in their body adores. Sometimes you even found yourself admiring him — considering him as a form of replacement from your last fling.

“Thank you both,” You giggled,

“Well, I’m happy that your happy, Y/L/N” Hermione declared with a smile, “You see how much happier you are now? Compared to when you allowed that psycho to contr--"

And just like that, there was a damper in your happy mood.

Hermione always made extremely bold comments about your previous unhealthy relationship with Theodore Nott; Which is probably why he hated the fact you two were friends, not because she was a muggle. Truthfully, she’s the one that hyped you up to end things with him — but as you more think of it, she forced you too.

Because despite everything the tall raging brunette put you through, you still found your self right underneath him with a dizzy smile. But that hasn’t happened in four months, not since the day he dragged you out of the party. Shivers roll down your spin as you remember the events that happened that day,

You’ve got fourth months with his touch, without his complications.

And despite missing Theodore some nights, you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t a breath of fresh air. Like the air didn’t feel lighter without him breathing down your neck about showing any other male besides him attention – without him declaring that despite his lack of commit now, you’ll be baring his children later.

You recall how hearing those words made you feel months ago — Well, it did make you finish, but that’s completely besides the point — it finally made you realize that Theodore Not didn’t actually love you.

And neither did he want anyone else too.

Not because he loved you, but because had a unhinged obsession for you. The more you thought of it, the more you realized how clear Theo’s behavior displayed fixation.

How did you not realize it back in first year when he got seriously angry with Blaise Zabini for trying to be your friend?

It makes your stomach twist to think that you and Theodore's friendship was build off of an obsession – one that clearly grew worse as the years progressed.

"You alright over there, Y/L/N?" Ron questioned reluctantly,

You pulled yourself out of your thoughts, turning to him with a small awkward smile across your lips, "Yes I'm fine, just got a little distracted, that's all."

"You always seem to suddenly get distracted when I bring up Nott." Hermione mumble, rolling her eyes. Because you're always telling me to leave him.

Is what you wanted to say, but instead you settle for a simple shrug.

You were sitting criss-cross on an knitted blanket in front of the black lake, skimming over the newest daily prophet in your hands. The full moon reflected softly against the lake water, making you awe.

Everytime a full moon lit the sky your found yourself out here, enjoying the peace. And no one knew about it — you weren't a prefect and your house leader would kill you if they found out you were out here past hours.

Well, you thought no one knew about your secret adventures to the black lake.

It was not until the loud familiar scent of smoke filled your nostrils that you understood that someone was here also. And with the heavy cologne that mixed with it, you didn't have to look back to know who it was.

"Leave. Me. Alone" You growled sternly, ignoring the thudding in your heart.

Of course you'd still hang with Blaise and Pasny every now and then. But when Theo walked in you immediately flee, knowing that being around him would result with him being inside of you in moments.

And your sure he knew that, which is exactly why the brunette is here. "So you don't think I've done that enough for the past four fucking months, Y/N?"

Venom dripped from Theodore's voice, and had you not been so used to Theodore being upset with the stuff you do — The coldness of his tone would have made you scared enough to jump away from him.

Your head snapped back in his direction, generally you were a nice happy girl. But during the times you weren't so sweet, it was Theodore Nott who got that wrath.

Who brought out that side of you.

"No, No." Theo's jaw clenched at your harsh words, lips parting slightly to allow smoke to slip past them. "Because I want you to leave me alone for the rest of my life."

"Did Granger help you come up with that?" Theodore snickered. There wasn't a actual thought in your brain when you rolled your daily prophet and launched it in his direction. He kissed it teeth when the parchment landed softly on his cheek.

The brunette takes another hit short of his cigarette, not giving your outburst a reaction. You stand up to your feet, preparing to collect your stuff and go back on school grounds.

He threw the cigarette on the ground, approaching you. You take a step back, not wanting to feel his touch — the touch that you have been craving for four months.

“Why does everyone get the sweet little Y/N except for me?" He cooed, eyebrows raising.

"What did I do to deserve this nasty side of you Y/L/N, huh?" Everything. "Did I not fuck you good enough last time?"

"You know it is not about that!" You defensively shouted out. Tears began pricking at the corner of your eyes, processing that the only thing you are to him is a fuck. "--You know that it's never been about that!"

You had like Theodore since third year, immediately awed with the matured boy that he became over the summer. And Theo knew your feelings for him — in fact, you told Theo about your feelings right before you had sex for the first time — he just didn't care.

He stared down at you, beautiful eyes glistening underneath the moon light. For a moment you swear you see pity flash in his eyes.. or maybe regret?

It makes you frown — You didn't want Theodore to pity you. It made you feel weak, always finding yourself with him when your in your weakness moments. Because despite his blunt toxic behavior, before your separation, Theodore always is there when you fail a test you study hard for or had complications with your family – He's the shoulder that you lean on, and the root of your problems.

“I miss you"

Something about those words fueled your feelings more, anger bubbling higher. "No you don't Theodore, you miss having me wrapped around your finger."

That regret.. or pity fades away quickly, replaced with anger in seconds.

“Do you even know how many girls I have wrapped around my finger, Y/N?" His mean tone makes you let a small sob. "How many girls wish upon stars that I had the feelings for them that I do you?!" Theodore takes this moment to grab your chin, yanking you closer to him before you got a chance to stop him. He hovers over you, fingers digging into the flesh of your skin. Blue eyes looking down at you like your prey he's prepared to fight for.

“You don't really care about me!"

"Shut up." He growled.

His mouth attacks yours in a feral manner, making you gasp loudly. The faint taste of his chapstick spreads is in your mouth,

And being that naive girl you are, you welcomed his lips eagerly. The hairs of your skin stood up fully, mind becoming foggy while Theodore desperately slides his tongue into your mouth. It makes you sob out louder, tears slipping from your eyes.

Hermione would be so mad if she knew how easily you allowed him in — The lack of fight that you put up with Theo. But you tried, you really did for four entire months..

You really tried your best too stay away from the boy that you loved so deeply.

“I--T--" Is what you choked out moments before Theodore hand slides to the back of your throat, making the kiss much deeper and tongue sloppier. Your noses were smushed against each other — there was nothing you could make out but his scent.

You didn't exactly get to register when it happened or how it happened. But someway, probably with magic, you ended underneath Theodore on your blanket.

Without wasting another second Theodore hooks his finger into the waist band of your shorts and underwear. "Why is things always so complicated with you?"

His words were harsh and the glare on his beautifully structured pale face makes you cry out even harder. The pad of his thumb catches one of your tears when it falls,

“Y/N Why can't you understand that this is perfect?" He wondered bluntly. His eyes look down at your exposed area, "That this is where you should be, with me."

“No--No I shouldn't--" You shouted, Theo grabbed your legs and spread them as far as they could go. "-- Your no good for me"

That makes the brunette scoff defensively – surely thinking that Hermione fed you that. But you knew it was true – If you stuck beside Theodore, you'd be mental by thirty.

A loud gasp fell from your lips when Theo pushed himself into you without any warning. Theirs something in your body that became at ease with the familiar stretch,

As if it been begging for it.

Not giving you a chance to prepare yourself, Theodore bottomed out in you. He groaned loudly as you flutter against him, practically welcoming him in you.

Theo begins snapping his hips forward at a pace that makes your eyes squeeze shut. You wish that you could hate him,

"Yeah, but that doesn't matter.." He finally responded to your comment. The loose curls of his hair brushed against your forehead as Theo leaned down, lips grazing softly against yours. A high pitched whimper left your lips at every thrust he gave you, an hot pain spreading inside in your lower half. Yet you couldn't stop your hips from jumping up, begging for more. “I'm good right now, aren't I?" He mocked,

His tongue invaded your mouth, like he's attempting to swallow your face whole. You kissed back instantly, tongue lapping over his as you both moaned.

Some moments you wished to know what Theodore was thinking when the two of you were together — and other times you didn't, not actually wanting to be right about his lack of love towards you.

His mouth left yours, spit following suit. Instead he began sucking on the skin of your new and chest, leaving bruises. "Mine." Theo growled, squeezing your breast.

You just shook your head frantically at his possessive words, not being able to form a literal disagreement. You weren't Theodore’s.. and unfortunately he wasn't yours.

He squeezed you harder, thrust forming a harsher pace as well, knocking the wind out your chest and making you gasp.

Tears slipped from your eyes from the pleasure, and your fingers began scratching against his arms. If your mind hadn't been so fogged out, you'd be embarrassed from how fast your release caught up.

“Say you won't leave again..." Theo spoke words were stone cold and you tried ignoring them — knowing that you planned on going back into hiding from him.

His cold hand snakes up around your neck, giving it a tight squeeze that makes you squeal. Your sure he notices that your avoiding his request and perhaps that's why his hips began to move at a slower pace – But you really had not expected him to completely stop,

The was absolutely no way he was going to leave you on edge like that. As your eyes flew open you sobbed out, Theodore wore a plain expression. His light eyes were already looking directly into yours,

You attempted to take matters into your own hands by beginning to slip up his length. But Theodore, who clearly wasn't having none of it, pushed you away by your stomach, pulling out of you completely now.

"Say it, Y/N!" He slightly shook you, "Or I swear I'll leave you like this-- Say it--"

"I--I'm not gonna leave!" The words left unexpectedly from your lips. And you really wish you could say you only said it to get your release but that wouldn’t be true. “..Ever again"

Theodore smiled widely at your words, pressing his face against your neck. And you both let out a loud sigh of comfort when he slid back inside of you,

You don't even know how you lasted four months without him.

Part three>>>

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[tarotwithavi]

3 things you need to let go of in order manifest your dream life

1. Fear of Rejection

Do you realize that your fear of rejection is holding you back from doing so many things? Also why do you fear rejection ever thought about that? Yes we all fear something and rejection is a really scary word. Nobody likes rejection but the truth is the fear of rejection is what is holding us back and those who have let it go of this fear have achieved great things. Everybody is afraid of rejection so to say but what kind of rejection? Societal rejection that the society won't accept you for who you are, romantic rejection that your crush won't like you back or rejection from your own self? Why do you reject yourself? Why do you reject your thoughts? Why do you think that you are not capable of what you desire? This may not be a big thing but in order to evolve and grow you need to go through these questions and ask yourself why you fear rejection.

3 things to do to let go of this fear

Understanding Impermanence: Recognize that rejection is a part of life, and it doesn't define your worth. People's opinions and circumstances change, and rejection doesn't necessarily reflect a permanent state.

Focusing on Growth: Embrace rejection as an opportunity for personal growth. Learn from the experience, adapt, and use it as a stepping stone towards self-improvement.

Building Resilience: Develop resilience by realizing that not every rejection is a personal attack. Building a strong sense of self allows you to withstand setbacks and move forward with confidence.

2. Expectations

Sometimes you expect too much from people and from yourself too and when you cannot fulfill those expectations you feel upset. You have a great heart and there is no doubt about how pure and innocent your energy is. You do your best in everything you do, if you love someone you love them from all your heart and you will do everything for them. You expect others to do the same for you, expecting is not a bad thing but being upset over others not fulfilling YOUR expectations is not good. You need to let go of those expectations. And you don't have to live up to others expectations also. As a human we always expect others to do something for us or we just expect something in return. It's in our nature. You don't have to fulfill others' expectations and others don't have to fulfill yours. So you just need to let go of “expectations”.

Mindful Awareness: Be conscious of your expectations and question whether they are realistic. Sometimes, expectations can set you up for disappointment if they are too rigid or dependent on external factors.

Embracing Flexibility: Cultivate flexibility and openness to different outcomes. This doesn't mean lowering standards, but rather being adaptable to the twists and turns that life may bring.

Communicating Expectations: Clearly communicate your expectations to others when appropriate. This reduces the chances of misunderstandings and aligns everyone involved.

3. Self-Doubt

We've all been there, right? Dealing with self-doubt is like a universal thing and is a common human experience. But, let's be real for a moment, when did we let that self-doubt become the boss of our lives? Like, where did it even come from? Because, let's face it, it's not like self-doubt runs in the family or is scribbled into our DNA. Nah, it's more about what others toss at us. I used to doubt myself and still do actually(sometimes). But hey, I'm putting in the work. The more I do, the clearer it gets why the wise ones always say, "Who cares what anyone else thinks?" It's like, do you, be you, and forget the noise from the peanut gallery.

Positive Self-Talk: Challenge negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Focus on your strengths and past successes to counteract self-doubt.

Setting Realistic Goals: Break down larger goals into smaller, achievable steps. This allows you to build confidence gradually and see tangible progress.

Seeking Support: Share your concerns with trusted friends or a mentor. External perspectives can provide valuable insights and encouragement, helping you overcome self-doubt.

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