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#and my dad told me i was worthless
thegrandesoeur · 2 years
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Eating a lemony icy treat because work full on is giving me flashbacks to summer 2019 and I need something that tastes sharp to distract me.
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charlotterenaissance · 6 months
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having an almost comically bad couple days so i'm microdosing on all my fixations by alternating episodes of kids in the hall, night court, h2o just add water, and conan o'brien remotes. just having a normal one
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sensitivegoblin · 9 months
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Vent
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thehealingplum · 2 years
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If you flat out tell your parents "please stop yelling at me" and they continue to belittle you and put you down, they're not giving you "tough love." They are incapable of respecting you as an individual.
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maldito-arbol · 2 years
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It’s time for Mal to Talk in the tags again because I’m too tired to do homework or write so I’m gonna use my energy for this
#ranting online is kinda therapeutic since I can’t get therapy? ok so I just wanted to mention this and ramble#i about cried talking to my himbo friend over the phone the other day because he told me. the day I read that chapter (well. 1/4 of it)#to my discord server in the vc he came in and checked on me a few times and he said he hasn’t seen me look that happy in so long and it#hurts because I had to end that event early because I couldn’t breathe but I had so much fun talking to ppl and doing the reading bc I get#✨dramatic✨ and shit and yknow overall it was just such a great experience except for the not breathing part (the gods are punishing me for#the Bye Bye Air Collar from WJH) and anyway it just reminded me all over again how Unhappy I am constantly. i have spent my entire life#being treated like complete dirt by family and friends and bosses and coworkers and classmates and everyone under the sun so the second i#feel appreciated by Anyone I break into tears it’s So Bad. so like I enjoy going to work because even tho it’s so tiring and it’s so hard#dealing with customers sometimes I love it anyway because like. i feel appreciated there. by my boss and a handful of coworkers at least.#and that’s so much better than being in this house and feeling like I’m the devil’s spawn all over again sent to ruin everybody’s life by#merely existing. so work is a double-edged sword because it’s another source of Pain but it’s ALSO an escape which is Totally Healthy but#then there’s my fanfics. writing what I wanna write and sharing it with you guys and tormenting you and my blorbos is a kind of happiness I#will never find anywhere else. reading that to the server was one of those moments of pure euphoria even if I was plagued by Stage Fright#at the same time. so yeah. it really really really deepens my already horrid depression that I can’t write and I can’t release content rn#bc it means that source of pure happiness is gone with it and I’m left feeling all worthless again. idk how to fix all this. idk if I can.#I’m just so so so tired;;;;;#i forgot where I was going with this I feel like I keep repeating myself but anyway that’s all for now I’m gonna go see if I can cry#oh! one more thing. i haven’t talked to my Blood Family (apart from my sisters and Rarely my dad) SINCE I GOT KICKED OUT but last night my#aunt called me and we talked about my mother and she had a breakdown to me over the phone so I remembered all over again what it was like#living with my mother and maybe realized I never actually processed any of that trauma. it’s all just coming pouring out thru my writing.#all the Abuse themes going on in CMTO? 100% projection so sorry u had to witness this guys 💜 but anyway she told me I rlly helped validate#her own feelings and apologized for crying to me ab this but I told her what I tell everyone—that Crying Is Good For The Soul#and maybe that’s why I’ve been crying so much lately. because I need to. and I need to stop holding everything in. my friends are genuinely#worried and I somehow convinced myself that they have better things to do than listen to my whining. so anyway I’m gonna go cry 💜#for self care purposes. ok done for real this time see y’all soon next time I decide to rant in the tags again#mal rants
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swooshywoo · 8 months
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my parents are trying to get me to get my N again..... i legitimately feel sick :,)
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delliques · 9 months
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even tho my dad didnt do hard liquor it was still a lot of damage and careless wasteful frustrating shit he'd do breaking things and getting mad and having to see your father in an angry dumb state like that for most of your life just ughhh...
had a dream i still lived there and i came downstairs to find he bought a bunch of food for himself (no big deal im not hungry) but he clogged the kitchen sink trying to clean something (no big deal i'll fix it) and i had to hide fixing it (it'll make him upset) and i found he shoved a bunch of paper towels and rags down there and my clothes down there (it's ok i'll pull it all out) and he'll get mad at me or feel bad if he sees me pull them out or if i'm upset. (he cant help it)
i used to hide when he was drunk. and he'd come home and just get drunk. just better that way to hide. i wouldnt have to see the dumb stuff he's do or say that i didnt know how to reply to. or deal with it. just better to clean up the aftermath.
in the dream i put all my clothes and rags in a bag and snuck out (could never do irl) i thought i was going to my mom's friend's house but it was the wrong house. a friendly old woman was living alone making a recipe. she invited her other old friend to make it with her. they offered to help me too but i was on the verge of tears and didnt want to talk to them so i declined and stumbled into an olvera st type place. i ran, i didnt want to be perceived, stopping to look at candies and scenery on the way. i was just angry and sad and wanted to run.
sometimes i want to run from my current life but things are so much better these days. i dont feel the need to hide from anyone. i'm more at peace.
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yandere-kokeshi · 3 months
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This might honestly be uncomfortable. But I would like to know Dad! Ghost reaction on this topic.
How would he react if his kid came to him, explaining that they were SA.
— Yandere Dad! Ghost reacting to his kiddo confessing they were SA
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Warnings: yandere behavior, mentions of SA, nothing descriptive, mentions of trauma, comfort. 
A/N: To be honest with you, I really like these types of dark asks. If you’re ever in a situation of needing help, please call your local police. You’re not alone. 
Icon of Ghost belongs to @/Yumithefrostypanda — NOT MINE
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Dad! Ghost blinks at you, before whispering a small “What?”
His body stops, he stares at you with everything. His brown-doe eyes widening. And suddenly, his chest becomes hard to breathe — someone hurt you. His blood chills in his veins, icy shards trickling throughout his system and lodging themselves into his heart repeatedly against his boney cage. 
He looks at you, swallowing thickly. “W… when?” 
It’s only a matter of seconds before he brings you into a tight hug, a hand grabbing the back of your head and pushing you into him. You two stay like that, minutes or hours, your crying echoing into the house as he rubs your back. There aren’t many things he can truly sympathize with, but he can when it comes to this matter. Especially when he cares about you so much.
“Hey…” he starts, biting his lip when you don’t look at him. “Hey— look at me. It wasn’t your fault. None of it. And I promise ya’, that I’m going to make ‘em pay for what they did to you.” he grabs your cheeks, wiping your tears before kissing your head. 
He’s fuming. Seething in a way you’ve never seen him before. Tempted to find the prick, and break every single bone in their miserable, worthless body. He’s going to hurt them. Hurt them so bad that they’ll be begging for death instead. His hands are shaking, hugging you so tight that you end up squeaking out words. 
For the rest of the next few days, Dad! Ghost has eyes on you. Focusing on your days getting better, and seeking out therapy for you. Always being an open arm for cuddles or talks. Another thing is that he’s happy you told him; something like that, hiding it, could kill. And he’s, in a way, relieved you can get help. 
From his experience, Dad! Ghost understands how hard it is. The self-blame. Continuous flashbacks and nightmares. The feeling of being a disappointment. And to that, he’s there for you. Willing to sleep with you to help with your terrors, take you out of school no matter the time, and help you in any way, shape, or form. 
Without your knowledge — Dad! Ghost becomes unforgiving. Finding out things about the person who hurt you. And ensuring that they suffer. He promised nobody would hurt you. And he’s living up to that with every fiber of his being. 
Masterlist || Please consider reblogging and commenting instead of liking. It helps me as a creator!! Stay well!!
© yandere-kokeshi 2023 — Do not copy, modify, edit, repost, or use my works for ASMR readings, tiktoks, or other content.
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dotster001 · 4 months
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For Tuna; Duel End
You can vote for the next ending here
Chapters One Two Three Choose a different ending
“I've had it! They're all worthless!” Grim shouted as he stormed into Ramshackle. 
You looked up warily from the book you were reading on the sofa.
“Who's worthless, Grim?” 
“They are!” He screeched, throwing some folders on the ground. You sighed at the mess you would no doubt have to clean up.  
“Well, why are they worthless?” You moved to start cleaning up the folders, and he hissed at you. You retracted your hand. 
He stared for a moment, before looking off into the distance. 
“I, uh, have to do a partner project, for extra credit. And I'd narrowed it down to who I thought I should pick, but all of them are stupid head poopy butts.”
“That's rough, Grimmy,” you sighed, noticing one of the folders had a familiar name. You raised a brow. “How is Silver a stupid head poopy butt?”
Grim scowled. 
“He just is. Don't ask too many questions!” he sighed sadly. “I don't know what to do,Y/N, everyone I thought was perfect for this project is awful. I feel like I'm starting over!”
“Well, can I be your partner?”
“That would defeat the entire purpose,” he pouted.
Ah, probably an assignment that was meant to build his independence from you.
“Deuce always needs extra-”
“Blech!”
Not Deuce then. Got it.
“Well, what if you make a list of all the possible people who aren't, what was it?”
“Stupid head poopy butts.”
“Right. Then you can pick one randomly. If that one turns out to be a…well you know, you can pick a different one. And then if no one is good, please just go to Deuce. For the love of God, your grades reflect on me as well!”
“Go to Deuce?” He spat. “You have no idea what you ask of me, human! But still….your idea of picking randomly is not bad! Perhaps I have been putting too much thought into something that requires no thought at all!”
You highly doubted that. 
But he seemed happy again, putting together a list of seemingly unrelated names. You noted he wrote down your lab partner Alano’s name, before snickering and crossing it out.
Once he had all the names written down, he pulled a name out of a hat.
“Sebek?” You asked. “He's smart. He has a lot of life experience too. I bet he'd be a great fit.”
“Yeah, and his dad's a dentist,” Grim said with a worrying smile.
“Yeah,” you said, trying to sound excited for him, despite your confusion. “If you want, I can walk you over there. I need to give him back the notes I borrowed, anyway.”
“I don't know if that's a good idea,” Grim frowned.
“Okay, I can ask Mal Mal to bring the notes then-”
“I've changed my mind. Come with me.”
….
When Sebek wasn't in class, he was in the Diasomnia courtyard, dueling the training dummy. It was worse for wear; chunks of it were missing, and the parts still together had deep scars.
Never had he felt such painful turmoil in his life. Everytime he closed his eyes, he saw you on someone's arm, be it Malleus, Lilia, Silver, Leona, or any of the numerous people Grim had chosen, then fired, within the past week.
Fired. They wouldn't be with you. But still.
He was snapped out of his heated fighting with the clang of metal against his sword. He blinked back to awareness, and processed Silver standing before him, sword in hand, body in an offensive position.
“You need to snap out of it,” Silver said. Sebek snarled, and swung at Silver, and was deflected easily.
“Do you think you're good for anyone right now?” Silver asked, and Sebek swung again, blind rage building up in him.
What the hell did Silver know about him? Who did he think he is?
“Father and Lord Malleus are both worried about you. Is that any way for a knight to act?” 
“SHUT YOUR MOUTH, HUMAN!”
Swords clanged against each other, one knight at peace, the other bursting with rage.
“If there's something you want, go get it!”
“You don't know anything about me!”
“I know the face you made when Grim told you he chose me, and the relief in your eyes when he changed his mind.”
“SHUT UP!”
Clang. Clang. Silver landed a hit with the flat of his blade, making Sebek fall back. His anger, if even possible, rose to new levels. He ran at Silver, sword swinging, only for Silver to side step and make Sebek trip.
“Y/N is a wonderful creature. You would be good together!”
“Ah!”
Clang.
“They bring out a gentler side to you that makes you a well rounded knight.”
Clang.
“But you have to admit what you want, Sebek!”
Clang. Clang. Clang.
“What do you want!”
“I want Y/N!” Sebek shouted, finally disarming Silver, and knocking his feet out from under him.
He breathed heavily, wiping sweat from his brow as he stared down at his defeated senior. Silver, as always, was smiling peacefully. A little too peacefully. He pointed over Sebek 's shoulder, and he turned to look. He felt immediate horror as he saw you standing with your cat creature.
You shyly waved at him, and Sebek felt his face grow bright red.
“I, uh, came to give you back your notes,” you said with a bashful smile.
“Oh.”
“And Grim wanted to ask you if-”
“It can wait, henchhuman! You two obviously have some things to talk about. Come Silver!” Grim turned on his heel to go, then turned back to Silver with a horrific glare.
“I said, let's go. You've clearly lost.”
Silver laughed happily.
“I'm not sure I did lose, Grim.” He stood up, gently clapped Sebek 's shoulder, and leaned in to whisper “good luck.” He hummed happily as he followed Grim into the Diasomnia castle.
Sebek stared pointedly at the ground, neither of you ready to break the silence.
After a bit, “You want me, huh?” Followed by a soft giggle.
“Who wouldn't want you? You're an excellent human,” he muttered.
“You're very sweet, Sebek.”
He looked up in shock, as you smiled at him. You weren't…rejecting his advances? And Grim wasn't stopping him? Had the world come to an end, and this was just a blissful dream in his last moments? No, Malleus would be in the dream too.
He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted as his ringtone played the Valley of Thorns national anthem. He apologized quickly and picked up, expecting Master Lilia or his royal highness. 
Instead he was greeted by the voice of your cat.
“I'm giving you a chance, crocodile boy. You know what that means right?”
Sebek grunted in affirmative, turning away so you wouldn't see his face.
“There had better be three cases of luxury tuna on Ramshackle’s doorstep tomorrow morning, or you can kiss Y/N goodbye.”
He almost completely derailed himself by imagining kissing you, in any capacity. 
“Understood,” he grunted. There would be no tuna. He didn't need Grim's manipulations to hold your love. But he didn't want to deal with the argument, not when he was seconds away from getting the one he longed for.
“Good.” Grim hung up, and Sebek turned back to you. 
“Malleus was just…it doesn't matter,” he ran up to you, wrapping his arms around you and burying his head in your shoulder. He held back the slight tremble his body wanted to give at finally having you in his arms. You wiggled a little bit, and he tightened the hold, not ready to let you out of his grasp yet. He was so unbelievably happy.
“Sebek, you're all sweaty!” You whined.
He pouted, taking a step back and placing a hand on your head.
“I am a knight, human. I train day and night to protect the ones I love. You're going to have to get used to the sweat of hard work!” He proclaimed proudly, before grinning. “After all, part of why I'll be training is so that I can be worthy of you.”
You gave a mock sigh, then opened your arms to him. He didn't hesitate to embrace you once again, tightly holding onto you, and the memory of this day, both of which he intended to hold onto forever.
The End
Tag list- @leonia0 @lleoll @eccedentesiast-sapphic @supertmntgirl @cxsmicdustdreams @aethermostbeloved @krystalkiller25 @asmallbean3 @theneurodivergentdummy @candlewitch-cryptic @smilingfox22-blog @phantomgaming1920 @the-dumber-scaramouche @noidonothavetimeforthis @bontensbabygirl @xxoomiii @somany-fandoms-solittle-time @bre99 @stupidsimp @sus0daddy @a-small-tyrant @imlost-sendhelp @mizukiblogs @savanaclaw1996 @kazumify @fatally-incorrect @glo0b @alleykat2014 (I combined your idea with a second idea I had 😁)
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creatorofarcadia · 9 months
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The idea that Sam somehow has an easier childhood than Dean makes me want to claw my own eyes out.
I think I sort of fell into this trap too at first watch, but rewatching it as an adult holy shit. Obviously Dean has to deal with intense parentification, I'm not discounting that, but I think we forget that Sam is essentially raised by another child. No matter how hard that child tries (and I'm not saying Dean doesnt try) being raised by someone 4 years older than you IS NEGLECT and there's no way Sam doesn't suffer as a result of that.
The idea that Sam has it easier because John treats him better also kind of baffles me. Sam pretty explicitly says in S01 E08 that his Dad views him as a freak. Kids don't just pluck the idea their parents think that from thin air, meaning in some capacity John has led his son to believe this growing up.
Furthermore, while we as the audience can appreciate that the amount of responsibility placed on Dean as a child isn't a good thing. From Sam's perspective growing up, his brother is this perfect being, completely worthy of trust, responsibility and respect from their Dad. Whereas Sam isn't trusted (e.g., with knowing about hunting) and his opinions/questions are met with blazing arguments. The fact he trusts himself enough/ has the self-esteem to even attempt Stanford is literally incredible considering the message he's been receiving for years is "you're unworthy of trust/your thoughts aren't worth listening to/ your achievements outside of hunting are worthless".
Overall, just because Sam and Dean suffer in different ways growing up, doesn't mean one has it worse than the other. Perspective is crucial here - Dean thinks that his Dad prefers Sam because even when they're fighting John is showing him concern. Sam thinks his Dad prefers Dean because the fights are seen not as concern, but rejection and derision. Dean is crushed by responsibility, Sam is implicitly told he's unworthy of it.
But idk maybe I'm crazy.
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sensitivegoblin · 1 year
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Vent
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cameronspecial · 28 days
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A New Kind Of Normal (Part 2)
Pairing: Dad!Rafe Cameron x Reader
Warnings: Cocaine Hangover and Attending Sobriety Resources
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 2.4K
Summary: Rafe wakes up the next day remembering his mistakes and realizes he needs to change.
Masterlist
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The massive headache he has from the cocaine he did last night makes him question why he does it in the first place. Jaw pain is not unusual for him thanks to the substance, but it still doesn’t mean it can’t hurt. He rubs the sleep from his eyes and it helps him clearly see the sweat stain on his pillow. The deep breath he takes brings clarity to last night's events; panic starts to weave through his mind. Y/N is never going to forgive him for going to her house while high and saying what he said. The fury she held is definitely not one he want to meet in court, especially since he built a case against himself. This stress needs to leave him and he knows one substance that would help him relax. It’s the same thing he turns to every time he argues with his dad. He sniffles in an attempt to bring moisture back to his nose, but it doesn’t work. His hand shakes as he tries to open the ziplock bag filled with the white substance. 
And then he thinks about those small blue eyes that match his eyes. The excitement in her voice as she saw her mother. The way her beautiful hair blew in the wind as she ran around the counter. It stops his fingers from going any further. If he keeps turning toward drugs, he will never get to see her again. She’ll never get to know that he is her daddy and that he cares for her even if she doesn’t him. She’ll never get to tell him about her favourite TV shows or food. He wonders if she needs a night light to go to sleep and how many stories she likes to read before bedtime. He doesn’t even know his own daughter’s name. 
He needs to change because he wants to find all that stuff out. He told Y/N that he would’ve changed if he knew about their daughter and he is going to prove that he truly meant it. The first thing he needs to do is get a therapist and get clean. That’s his new goal. All he wants as of now is to be the best father he can be to the little girl. 
——
“I’m Rafe and I am an addict.” The other members of the meeting all retort with the typical anonymous meeting greeting. He didn’t think he had a problem, but his therapist begged to differ. She says that if he really wants to be in his daughter’s life, he has to show Y/N that drugs aren’t more important than their daughter. “I started using it when I was in my senior year of high school,” he starts to explain. “Most parents say they don’t have a favourite when their kids ask, but my dad was different. It was always clear to me that my younger sister was his favourite. No matter what I did, Sarah was the perfect one and I was the worthless one. Coke was the only thing that made his tiny voice in my head stop.” The group gives him sympathetic nods. They wait for him to continue, “I think that’s all I’m going to share for today. That’s all I need to get off of my chest right now.”
“Thank you for sharing,” Diana thanks. The meeting goes on and Rafe listens intently to the others’ stories. Listening to their journeys, he couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen the signs of his own addiction before. The clacking of chairs folding finds his ears as he helps clean up. He doesn’t hear Diana’s footsteps as she approaches him, “So what made you decide to get sober if you don’t mind me asking?” He looks at her and finishes putting the chair he is holding away. “No, I don’t mind. Um… I recently found out that I have a daughter. I didn’t react so great when I found out that she was kept a secret from me, so I realized I needed to get better for her.” 
“It’s good that you realized you needed help. What’s your little girl’s name?”
“I actually don’t know. I was too high to ask. Another reason why I need to get sober is so I can get to know her.” 
“I see. Well, if you need a sponsor, I would be more than happy to help. I’ve been sober for three years. I know how difficult it can be to try to change.”
“That would be great. I’ve been sober for a day and I’m already struggling with it a little bit.” 
They exchange numbers before Rafe goes on his way to his next meeting of the day. 
——
Anger management right after a narcotics anonymous meeting may not have been the best idea on Rafe’s part. He really did want to get better, but with therapy, he has been doing a lot of talking about his feelings and it is exhausting to him. “And what do you think your anger triggers are, Rafe?” Corey asks, leaning forward in his chair. Rafe feels irritation fill him, “If I knew, then why would I be in anger management?” The look Corey gives him makes Rafe feel like he is receiving a warning from a parent. 
He cowers a little under the look. “Okay, I’m sorry for being snippy. But I’m hoping that I can figure this out. I want to figure out what makes me angry and how I can express that anger in a healthy manner,” he reasons. Corey agrees with his statement, “That’s exactly why I am here to help. Why don’t we talk about times you were angry?”
“The last time I was angry was when I found out that someone I slept with five years ago had my baby and didn’t tell me for five years.” 
“Right and were you more angry about the lie or the fact that you had a kid?”
“I am more upset by the lying. I told myself that I would be a better parent to my child and she didn’t give me a chance to do that.”
Rafe feels nervous with Corey’s eyes on him; today is the most he has been vulnerable since the night he met Y/N. “That is very angering. Now, how do you think you could’ve managed your anger?” Corey pushes, moving one leg over the other. Rafe takes a second to think, “I should not have gotten high that day. Instead, I should’ve opened communications with her. She tried to talk to me before I ran off, but I didn’t give her a chance.” “That’s right, Rafe. This is a very good start for your first session,” Corey applauds. 
——
The blast of music can be heard from outside the front door. Rafe has to laugh at the off-key and incorrect lyrics that are sung about five seconds too late. His daughter might look like his twin, but she seems to have inherited her mother’s musical abilities. He pauses as his fist lifts to knock on the door. The two girls in the house have their own lives. They already know how they fit into each other’s lives and he could off-balance their equilibrium by worming himself into it. He can’t mess up being a father if he isn’t in her life. But then he also couldn’t be a great father if he just left without trying to make things right with Y/N. 
He shakes off his anxiety and knocks on the door. The singing stops and the music dims. He can hear her footsteps approaching the door. Vanilla. It seems to haunt him whenever he is around her. He is glad fear doesn’t flash through her eyes when she sees him. He wouldn’t be able to handle knowing he caused her to feel that way. 
Her hair falls over her shoulder as she looks over at their daughter behind her. “Stella. Why don’t you go play in your room, Baby?” Y/N suggests, blocking Rafe from the little girl’s sight. Stella shoots up from the couch, “Okay, Mommy.” Her little running legs slowly down at the calling out from her mother to walk. With Stella out of earshot, Y/N finally gives him her full attention. “So her name is Stella. It means star, doesn’t it?” he thinks out loud. She slowly nods her head, “Yeah, I thought of it when I was stargazing while I was pregnant. Plus, my grandmother’s name was Luna so I thought it was a good homage to her. Rafe, I thought I made it clear that I didn’t want to see you again unless you were suing me.” His hand moves his watch face back and forward on his wrist. He doesn’t want to look her in the eyes. 
“It’s a beautiful name. And you did make it clear. I want to apologize first. I shouldn’t have shown up to your house high. I probably scared you and Stella, which I never meant to do. 
“Apologizing won’t fix the fact that you came over high while my daughter was in the room.”
“I know, I’m sorry. But seeing our little girl, Y/N. I never thought that I could feel so much love for a person I didn’t know before. It made me realize that I need to change. So I started going to NA, anger management and therapy. I want to be mentally healthy. For Stella.” 
He can see the way she is processing his words and it gives him hope that he has a chance. “Rafe, I’m glad you are trying to get better. I really am, but I don’t know if I can trust you. You haven’t shown me that you are responsible enough to be Stella’s father,” Y/N explains and she doesn’t want to admit that the sad look on his face causes her some pain. He finally has the courage to look at her, “I understand. I wouldn’t trust me either. All I’m asking is that you give me a chance to show you that I am serious about being there for her. I’m hoping that if I stay sober for a month, you might consider letting me meet Stella as her father.” The silence that comes from Y/N absolutely kills Rafe and he feels like time is dragging on. “Okay. Stay sober for a month and Stella can meet you. But I want to meet you every week to get to know you more to make sure you are someone who can be around her,” she offers.
Rafe’s smile fixes the pain she felt before. He throws his arms around her to give her a hug, “Thank you so much, Buttercup! Can you do dinner tomorrow night?” That nickname. God, she didn’t think she could feel this many butterflies in her stomach at a simple name. She remembers why they are having this conversation and removes herself from his arms. “Dinner feels too romantic. How about lunch?” she counters. He gives her a thumbs up as he walks backwards toward his truck, “I can do lunch, great. I’ll pick you up at twelve. See you tomorrow.” 
He gets in his car and starts it. As he does so, he feels a pang shoot through his heart. She didn’t like the idea of going on a date with him, which tomorrow wasn’t going to be. He doesn’t know why he feels that way about it. He shakes off the feeling and focuses on the road.
——
Given that they are here because of Rafe, he offered to pay for lunch. They had decided on a small cafe near her house. “Were you able to find a babysitter? I can pay them for you if you need,” he states, playing with the food on his plate. She shakes her head at his offer, “My brother is watching her, so you don’t need to pay anybody. I certainly don’t need you paying for anything else either. I’ve been able to provide for her just fine so far.” “Right, right. I’m not saying that you can’t take care of her. I just want to make up for not being there for the first few years of her life,” he clears up. She takes a bite out of her sandwich, “You don’t need to make up for not being there. I knew where to find you and it was my choice not to tell you.” 
“Right…So you have a brother?” 
“I do. I have two actually. An older one and a younger one. How about you? You have a sister, if I remember correctly.”
His heart flutters at the fact that she remembers him talking about Sarah. He looks up to see that her attention is fully on him, “Yeah. I have two younger ones. Sarah and Wheezie.” “Wheezie. That’s an interesting name,” Y/N tries to pretend it isn’t strange. Rafe chuckles at the look on her face, “It’s a nickname, Buttercup. Don’t worry.” “Of course, I’m glad your parents had enough reason not to make that her legal name,” she jokes. Her beautiful smile that Rafe loves has returned, “Me too.” “How are you feeling about being sober so far? Any withdrawal symptoms?” she worries. He feels a twitch in his hand at the mention of his sobriety, “I’m not going to lie. It’s hard. I’m always tired, I’m more hungry than normal and I feel an unpleasant itch throughout my whole body. Not to mention the need for the drug is driving me crazy. But then I think about Stella and remember what I am doing this for.” 
The corner of her lips turns upwards at the thought of Stella helping Rafe stay strong. He must truly feel a love for Stella if she is helping anchor him during these trying times. “That’s good,” she says. “Button, I know I said I didn’t want to see you again, but if you ever feel the need to talk to someone, you can come to me. I know that addictions can be hard to overcome and I can see you really are trying. I want to help so Stella can meet her father.” The genuine care in her voice brings tears to his eyes. He barely knows her, yet she has shown more belief in Rafe’s abilities than Ward has in the twenty-six years that Rafe has been his son. Plus, using the nickname she gave him all those years ago must be a good sign that they are on the right track. “Thank you, Buttercup. It really means a lot to me that I have your support.” 
Taglist: @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @drewstarkeyswifehoe @kisstaya @magicalyoura @mp-littlebit @loverfu55ii
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readychilledwine · 7 months
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Hello. Hope u r feeling good. I was wondering if u could write something again. This one is particularly personal to me. Picture it. Reader is daughter of any one of the bat boys. If cass Or az then single dad. She has been bullied since the day she started school as a child because she has a problem when it comes to studying. As she grows it's her looks. The ic, notices her behavior is starnge. Like, snapping at small things, crying when they correct her or raise their voice. She has never told anyone because she doesn't want them to stress out and the bullies said that she was so worthless because she keeps running to her father for everything. Her dad finds out soon. U can decide the ending.
Oh my love 💜 all three of our boys got you.
Head Held High
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Summary - After being born with Feyre's looks, but illyrian wings, Rhysand and Feyre's daughter faces challenges wherever she goes.
Warnings - bullying, signs of low self-worth, anger, inferred adhd or other learning issues, older brother coming in to do the older brother thing while protective dad does the dad thing
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You had him wrapped around your finger the second you came into the world.
His beautiful baby girl, wide eyed and filled with curiosity and happiness.
You truly were a stunning little thing, but how couldn't you have been with parents like Rhysand and Feyre? He loved you even more for being the small version of your stunning mother. Her nose, her lips, her hair. The only piece of you that screamed you were his were those star flecked eyes.
Your childhood was filled with love and joy. With you constantly praised for your looks, for your smarts, or your imagination. Rhys and Feyre never thought anything of your wild mind. They loved it. They loved how sporadic you were, how one thing was never enough for you to stay focused on. They loved your random outlook on the world.
To Rhys, Feyre, and your significantly older brother Nyx, you were the world. They sheltered and loved you, thick and thin, protecting you from darkness and meaness at every turn.
It wasn't until you began lessons that you truly saw how unkind fae, especially those your own age could be.
You hated school and struggled to focus during lessons. You were busy, you told yourself in your little mind. Busy day dreaming of far away places, daring sword fights, a knight just like daddy or Uncle Az and Cass, mainly Uncle Az if you were honest with yourself, rescuing you from enemies.
Your grades reflected that. As did how your peers treated you.
"Silly y/n," one girl giggled when she thought you couldn't hear. "It's a good thing she's pretty, 'cause she's dumb."
"Her mommy couldn't read either. Maybe that's why."
In class the jabs were subtle enough that your teacher didn't notice, and when they did, nothing was done.
No one at home noticed either. No one noticed when you began to hide away more, when you stopped playing with your big brother after school. No one noticed when you weren't dreaming about being rescued anymore, but instead dreamed of running away.
Things did not get better when you were sent to Illyria, Uncle Cass and Aunt Nesta in tow, to begin training. You knew comments about your intelligence would be coming. You'd never expected comments about your looks, though.
"Imagine looking like your mom and trying to pass as an Illyrian."
"Her mom isn't even that pretty."
"Never said she was either."
You'd hide behind your wings constantly in public. You'd started eating alone. Stopped talking at home.
Cassian had tried asking what was wrong one night. His large hand running up and down your back as he spoke gently enough to you to shatter your aching heart a little more. "Just leave me alone!" You finally screamed at him. "I just want to be alone."
He wrote it off as homesickness, calling for Rhys and asking the High Lord to come visit you.
Rhys noticed it then.
He noticed the way you tucked behind your wings in shame. He noticed you eating alone. He noticed you never had a training partner.
He noticed your loveliness.
"Darling," a soft knock came at your door. "We need to talk." You curled further into your bed, your father refusing to enter or leave without your permission.
"Little love, please," his voice was pleading with you. "Let me in. Let me help you." You felt the gentle claws on your mind and blocked him out harder.
"Y/n, please. Don't shut me out." You'd never heard his voice break like this. The Crack that indicated he was about to cry. "I know what it's like to feel like you're the outsider here. I know what being this lonely feels like and how it eats away at you."
You heard something soft hit the door. "Babygirl, please. Let me come talk to you. Let me settle any feelings you're having. Let me help you. Please don't make me force myself in."
Shadows appeared in the corner, blue reflecting in them every so often. "I have her, Rhys. I'll come get you in a second." Your father yielded then. Yielded you to the arms of the Shadowsinger. "I've been watching for a little while." He admitted, "we've been worried for a few weeks."
He sat down on the bed next to you. "You stopped writing all of us. I know I violated your privacy and independence, but we all know how being out here can be. We all knew there was a risk of you being targeted the way we all were and the way Nyx was."
Azriel placed a hand on your back, rubbing small circles. "Your dad is the most worried. He did not want to send you here. He wants to bring you home."
You sniffled hard, finally lifting your body and shifting to sit next to him. "It's not any better there. I'm stupid in Velaris. I'm ugly here."
Azriel's jaw tightened. "Let me go get Rhys." Your uncle stood, walking to the doorway and leaving it open as he spoke softly down the hall.
Your dad was a mess when he entered. His hair was sticking different directions from how frequently he was running his hands through it. His face was tear stained. His shoulder slumped in defeat as he practically dragged his feet.
Azriel motioned for him to sit next to you, shutting the door so the three of you were alone and pulling a chair from across the room to sit in front of you. "Tell him what you just told me, little bat."
Your breath hitched as your hands began to shake. You could feel your eyes watering as you looked down to your unkept nails. "Taking me home won't make a difference."
Your dad pulled you close to him. "It would make all the difference, darling. We'd just send you back to regular-" Azriel shook his head at his brother, silencing him.
"Tell him the rest of what you said, y/n."
"I get made fun of in Velaris for being stupid, I get made fun of here for being ugly. It wouldn't make a difference."
Your father's world shattered then and there. Azriel stood, leaving the room to allow you to time alone now that the truth was out. Silence hung in the room. Interrupted every so often by your soft sniffles.
"How long," your father's voice broke again. "How long have you been getting picked on?"
You shrugged. "Since you started sending me to lessons."
He nodded, looking up. "I'm sorry I didn't notice, darling."
You didn't respond, only holding yourself tighter. He started. "I learned around your age, that holding my head high and not letting others see how much their cruelty hurt me tended to lead to it ending, but There is no merit in either of those statements"
He pulled you close to him, resting your head on his shoulder. "Are you easily distracted in school? Yes. Uncle Lucien always pushed us to teach you outdoors in a less formal environment with private help. You would have thrived in that setting. That is on me, y/n. I picked a public lesson setting so you could socialize." He paused. His jaw twitching. "You are not stupid in any sense, though, y/n." He motioned to the countless books stacked on your dresser. "Those are all educational texts or intense world building fantasies that you have taken the time to notate in a color system with separate journals filled with notes. That is not the action of someone who is stupid."
He tilted your face to him. "And you are not ugly. There is not a single court or location in this world where you do not meet or exceed their beauty standards. Anyone who says otherwise is either in denial of their attraction to you or blind. I never want to hear you say you are ugly ever again, darling."
A loud slam interrupted the heartfelt talk as your other brother entered the room followed by your cousins. "This is nice and all pops, really it is. Touching." Nyx walked to you, getting on his knees in front of you. "Their names, sis."
Rhys hid his smirk. "I never said your uncles and I weren't also going to do this, Nyx."
The heir rolled his eyes. "You can have their piece of shit fathers. I get the ones my age." Nyx grabbed your chin forcing you to look into his eyes. "Their names, y/n."
You gave them to him without hesitation. "Be nice," you said softly.
Nyx froze in the doorway. "You have mom's heart, y/n. I have dad's. You handle it with kindness and grace, I'm going to handle it with my fists and intimidation."
Your father pulled you close to him again. "Never change anything about you, little love." He stood moving in front of you and tilting your head up by your chin. "Just hold your head high, y/n. Hold your head high, walk away, and let dad and Nyx take care of the rest." He placed a kiss on your forehead. "Now, if you excuse me, I have a camp leader to beat the shit out of."
He paused at the doorway, turning to you. "I'll be right back. I promise. Maybe you could make us some hot chocolate and we can have a cuddle date like we used to?"
Your eyes lit up for the first time in years, making him smile and laugh. "There you are, darling. My beautiful girl."
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AITA for arguing with my mom over toys?
I (15) have ADHD and autism and my mom (65) knows but doesn't really believe it. So right now, my hyper fixation is spiderman and barbie. I'm like obsessed and I love looking out for cool toys or merch of them. I rarely ever ask if I can buy them- I don't have a job yet so I have to ask my parents, but when I do it's usually a no. Wich I'm not usually too upset about, I get it. I'm a bit bitter about it, given that when my brothers (18 and 19) ever ask for something my parents will get them it with no questions asked. Besides the point.
A while back, we where in target and I was looking in the toy isle and there are these spiderman figurines and they have ones of spot, Gwen, Peter and Miles. I was obsessed the moment I saw them and asked my mom if I could get Gwen cause she's my absolute favorite. And she said no because she already has all of them at home. She hadn't told me this before but i was excited cause she showed me photos and she had all four of the dolls along with the new Margo Robbie and Ryan gosling barbie and ken dolls. The entire time she was making it out like she had gotten them for me, and I was super excited.
When we got home I waited for a bit, kinda thinking she'd bring them out and show me, but she never did so I eventually just asked "hey! Can I see the Spider-Man dolls?" And she said "no I've already put them away." Turns out she has all of them but she had no intention of ever giving me them and they're all in a bag in her closet. And so I was upset and went down to my room and ended up having a good cry cus this isn't the first time she's done something like this.
Skip forward to today, we where at Walmart and I see the Spider-Man dolls and ask if I could get one and she said "no you already have them." So I said "no, you have them. You keep them in the closet, those aren't mine." She argued back saying that they would be worthless if we took them out. (She has no intention to sell them.) But it went like that and she ended up saying fine and letting me get Gwen. She also let me get one of those 5 dollar Barbies and a Tin of popcorn that was spiderverse themed cus again, hyper fixation.
When we where leaving the restraunt, she made a snide comment telling me she spends so much on me and how I'm so ungrateful. I always say thank you and I always ask before putting things in the cart and I take good care of the dolls I have.
Later today I heard her complaining to my dad (69 haha) about it and calling me a spoiled brat and now I'm worried that I'm just being a bad person and wondering if I'm actually an asshole.
Sorry if this was all over the place, I go off on tangents alot.
What are these acronyms?
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andreabandrea · 14 days
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i think all the time about how hard it is to be a kid even in the best case scenarios. like yeah as a kid you have very few responsibilities and youre innocent etc but i think the thing is that adults (at least in the USA) largely do not consider you to be a human.
i remember when i was a kid, my parents were nice to me and supportive and so on-- i didnt have a bad childhood. but there were times where my dad would just take things from me, or interrupt me on the computer/tv, not because i had exceeded screen time or anything but just because "im the dad and im more important so i can do what i want". i remember how powerless i felt when adults would shout at me, especially if it was over something i didnt understand and/or hadnt been taught.
i remember adults laughing in my face sometimes when i was crying or upset, and i think about this when i see those 'toddler/kid freakout' tiktok videos mocking a child's reaction, even if it is for something "stupid" like they dropped their candy or whatever.
even the most well-meaning adults will often write off your pain and negative emotions as 'overreactions', and this goes triple if youre neurodivergent. i had pneumonia as a child and my doctor thought i was just being dramatic.
your input on things is largely seen as worthless. if your parents want to travel the country in a van, but you want to go to school and have friends and have your own bedroom, they'll just pack you up and take you in that van because you're the child and you're their property. i think about this when i see those 'van life' families, and i think about this as i'm reading the Wavewalker book about the girl who was forced to live on her parents' boat with little to no schooling for 10 years.
if your parents spank you and hit you, largely thats seen as their "choice" as parents, no matter how many studies tell them it traumatizes children. and youre dependent on the adults around you and if those adults suck, or if youre in a bad situation, you have very little to no ability to change that and you just have to endure.
and thats what drives me insane about desantis is that we see more and more rhetoric like "the rights of parents" and "protecting children" but these kids are being told that they do not have rights. its as if people truly believe parents deserve to know everything, even if the child doesnt feel safe telling them. people think parents deserve to control their kids' every choice and every move. but when it comes to protecting kids from gun violence and protecting gay/trans kids and especially kids of color, republicans could not give less of a shit. hell, even the grand majority of democrats barely care.
yes, i get it. parenting is unimaginably hard. the nuclear family is unsustainable especially in today's double-income-not-even-making-rent economy. the world is fucked up. sometimes kids are shitty and it might hurt you as an adult. but kids are not evil, and kids are not adults who are acting with fully developed brains and social skills and empathy and so on and its important to keep that in mind.
on the chance that anyone wants to reply with "well i hate kids :/" look. you dont have to be a parent. but at least be kind to children in your life. let the kid in the park ramble to you about skibidi toilet or fucking whatever. you do owe people kindness, especially children
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