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miniwheat77 · 1 year

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By Nature, She’s Naughty. (141 x Reader.)

THIS IS THE GANGBANG VERSION TO "LUST". I ADDED A TINY BIT MORE BACKSTORY BECAUSE I WANTED TO XD

You can find the original mutual masturbation story here

!CW! NSFW, smut, gang bang, rough sex, overstimulation, squirting, oral sex (m receiving), unprotected sex, 141 being great at aftercare, (lemme know if I missed any)

(Summary): 141 finds out how wild Y/N was in her youth.

I’m referring to Captain Price as John and Soap as Johnny just in case there’s any confusion.

The hot cup of coffee to your lips settles the boiling anger flowing through you. An annoyed sigh leaves your lips and you hear a laugh behind you. "Something funny John?" You spin around and send him a glare. "No, not at all sweetheart." He raises his hands in surrender. "Thought so." You roll your eyes. Everyone slowly begins to file into the meeting room. Sitting around the massive Oak table for their next assignment. "Y/N, what are you doing here?" Gaz asks. "On the next assignment with you guys." You smile. "Tread carefully boys, she's grouchy when she's woken up too early." You raise the cup of coffee. "This right here will save you all from your impending doom." You joke.

"For someone so young you think you'd be able to run on much less sleep." Soap laughs. "Yeah, I partied all of the youngness out of me. Believe it or not." You laugh. Soap tilts his head. "Partier huh? You'll have to tell us about it sometime." He winks. You roll your eyes. "Yeah right, I barely remember any of it. Cocaine is a hell of a drug." You kick your feet up on the table, only for Captain Price to immediately shove them off. "Wait, really?"

"For legal reasons I'm not answering that." You smirk. John rolls his eyes. "I've heard the stories from Laswell. She's done some pretty crazy shit." You smile at him. He had no issues selling you out. "I know Laswell did some pretty crazy stuff too so she better be careful telling you my business." You laugh. "You too Captain, she's told me about all kinds of things." You send him a wink, making him shake his head in retaliation. "Anyways." He clears his throat. "Onto this next mission." He starts.

—

The wind blew harshly against your clothes. The mask you wore helped shield your skin from the harsh sand beating against you. "This sucks." You roll your eyes. "Not too bad actually. Better sand than bullets." Gaz shrugs. "Yeah, if you're a pussy." You wink. He rolls his eyes. "Takes one to know one." He nudges you. "Pay attention." Your Captain snaps. "Yes sir." You salute him sarcastically but he can't see it. You really shouldn't be giving him this much attitude but you are. "I'm beginning to think we're lost Captain." Soap says. "Yeah, me too." He rolls his eyes. "Seems like Laswell sent us on a death run. You do something to piss her off Captain?" You joke. "Hope not. If I did, none of us are leaving here." He laughs. "So all of those people back there, what do you think they were?" Gaz asks. "Not sure, I just hope there isn't any more of them." He continues. "Don't think so. Looked more like a wannabe group of Al Qatala. Not many weapons, not very guarded buildings." You shrug. "True."

Finally, after a few hours of walking, you find yourself walking upon an old abandoned house. The inside was caved in a little bit, only two rooms were still intact, the living area and the kitchen. Sand had flooded the inside and you were each left crammed into one room. Captain Price was in the living area on the radio with Laswell, and the rest were crowding the kitchen, looking to see what they could find. When his conversation was over, he makes his way into the kitchen. "Laswell sent us in the wrong direction by accident. Thinks it was intentional because Al Qatala is leading us the wrong direction because they're doing something they're not supposed to be doing." Everyone nods. "Exfil can't get to us until morning so settle in."

Those were your Captain’s instruction, so everyone did. You took up one small corner of the living area. There was an old couch, and everyone had set up around you, almost in a circle. All you had was a sleeping bag and an emergency blanket for comfort so you laid them both out. It was still too warm so you were sitting on top of it. You tried getting comfortable but it was a little hard. Everyone had a couple emergency MRE’s and first aid kits. You tended to your wounds, patched up, and ate one of the MRE’s.

“I don’t have sweats or extra clothes in my bag so you’ll all just have to be okay with me sleeping in my boxers.” Soap calls out.

“That’s fine, no one cares.” You reply. “Use a buddy system if you have to go outside for any reason.” Your captain calls. He’s laying on his own sleeping bag a couple feet from you. Soap starts removing his clothes, tucking them near his bag and laying down. The room fills with an awkward silence and everyone shifts uncomfortably. It was clear no one would be getting much rest tonight. A deep sigh brings everyone out of their own thoughts. “Maybe we should do something. Like.. play a game.” Soap says. “What, like one of those ridiculous games we played in grade school?” You laugh. “You got any better ideas?” Soap rolls his eyes. “Not really. I’m in.” You shrug.

“Truth or dare?”

“Can’t really do many dares, Soap.” You laugh. He smiles. “Alright alright, truth or truth?” You laugh, sitting up in your sleeping bag. Everyone follows suit. “I think I seen some old bottles of vodka in the kitchen. Maybe we can do a drinking game like never have I ever.” Gaz suggests. You nod your head, standing up. “Captain could probably pick out good liquor. He’d be able to tell which is good to drink and what’s bad.” You smile. “Damn right little lady.” John pushes past you, you follow him into the dingy kitchen and he opens up a couple cupboards, finding 2 unopened bottles of liquor. Gin and Vodka. “Alright. We’ll just pass around the bottle.” You nod your head. “Before we start I’m ditching my clothes too.” You complain. They were dirty and had blood all over them. “Yeah me too.” Gaz complains. Pretty soon everyone is just sitting in their undergarments. Most of you were pretty beat up. Bandages and cuts and bruises all over.

Each of you form a circle and John picks up a bottle.

“Alright so.. if you don’t already know, never have I ever works like this. Someone asks a question, and if you’ve done it, you drink, if you haven’t, you don’t.” You explain. Everyone nods.

“Alright, I’ll go first. A warm up question.” Gaz sits up. “Never have I ever… been stuck in a dingy house in the middle of a desert.”

Each of you pass around the bottles of liquor.

“Bloody hell that is shite.” Captain Price flinches. He lowers the bottle of gin from his lips and shivers. “Steamin Jesus that is horrible.” Soap laughs, passing the bottle of vodka to you. You take it, tipping it back. Flinching as you set it down. The burn coursing through you. “Alright. Soap, your turn.” Soap laughs. “Alright uh..” he pauses, thinking to himself. “Never have I ever gotten into a fight.”

Everyone passes around the bottles again.

This goes on for a few more times and everyone is starting to feel buzzed, loosening up. “Okay, Y/N.”

“Never have I ever had a dirty dream about someone in this room.” You smile. “Ooooh. That’s a good one.” Gaz laughs. Your captain, Soap, and Ghost each take a drink.

The game goes on like this until most of the liquor is gone. Everyone had been targeting you, trying to figure out what exactly you had done as a teenager. They dug deep to figure out just how wild you'd been in your youth.

Eventually everyone settles into their own little worlds. Playing on their phones, reading. Or just relaxing. The same tension is still thick in the room, everyone can read it. “Alright. I hate this. Let’s try something else.” Your Captain says, sitting up. “What do you mean?” Gaz laughs, taking a breath. “I was thinking we find another way to relieve some tension.”

“What, a gang bang?” Gaz jokes. “Hate to break it to you cap, but I don’t think poor Y/N could handle that.” Your mouth props open and your cheeks burn. “I like your taste Garrick, but that’s not what I meant. I mean.. similar. But.. less hands on.” Ghost pulls off his mask, this wasn’t the first time you’d each seen his face. “Are you suggesting we.. touch ourselves?” Soap asks. John nods his head. Everyone steals glances at each other. "What makes you think I wouldn't be able to handle it, Kyle?" You smirk at Gaz, his eyes widening. "I just assumed. You talk a big game but don't have the will to back it up." He shrugs. You pick up the bottle of Vodka, tipping what's left in the bottle back. Swallowing it all down and setting it back down. You wipe your lips off and send him another evil smile. "Try me Garrick." You cross your arms. "You know what. I think we should. Fuck the attitude right out of her." Ghost smirks. One of the only things he's said all day. "Yeah, she has been giving everyone attitude all day." Soap glances at you. Right now is where you began to get nervous. It was four against one right now. You were for sure losing no matter what. The thought of all four of them using you to pleasure themselves makes butterflies swarm in your stomach. "Earth to Y/N." your Captain waves in your face. "Y-yeah, sorry. What?"

"You want to do it or not?" He smiles. "Uh.. yeah. Yeah I do."

"It's going to be a lot." He smiles. "I know."

"Before we start, I want to make a safe word." You nod your head at his suggestion. "Okay. How about 'Stop'?" Gaz suggests. "Sounds good. You know how a safe word works, right sugar?" He asks. You nod your head. "Alright. Let's get started." His hands wrapping around your thighs and tugging you toward him, laying on your back on the ground as he eagerly pulls your panties down your legs. Revealing your most delicate parts to everyone in the room. On show for them and fuel for whatever filthy fantasies are going through each of their heads right now. Your bra is next, Ghost unclasping it almost too quickly, incriminating himself just a little bit with the move. Your Captain decides to take it easier on you in the start. Helping stretch you out and prep you. He spits on his fingers, opening you up. A moan leaves your lips and you prop yourself up onto your elbows to watch him. You notice Kyle is now fully naked, moving to your left. He pushes your chest down so that you're laying on your back. "Relax." He smiles. Simon joins your other side, Johnny at your head. "You're gonna be a good girl for us right?" Johnny smirks. You nod your head, having no real response to that. This was happening, really happening. "Nothing smart to say?" John says. You smile, but say nothing. You think about saying something sarcastic but choose not to, considering it looked like he was going first. Your smile fades when you feel the tip of his cock prodding at your entrance, disappearing between your folds. Your eyes shut tightly, a moan leaving your lips. "Shit, stretching her a lot Cap." Kyle laughs. "Yeah, probably should've stretched her a little more huh." He laughs. "Oh fuck!" A whine leaving your lips as you clutch at Johnny and Kyle’s thighs. Kyle laughs. Hand moving up the shaft of his cock, slicking it up with his spit. Johnny's fingertips glide over your cheeks and you tilt your head back to look up at him. "Fuck.. Look so pretty looking up at me like that sweetheart." He smiles. He moves his hips forward, cock nudging at your mouth and nose. You waste no time, taking him into your mouth and swirling your tongue around the tip. "Oh fuck!" he gasps, hips jerking back.

He relaxes a second, only just now realizing how long it'd been since he had done this. You reach upward, wrapping your hands around his thighs and forcing him to stay still as you took him down further. By now, John was fucking into you. He wasn't going too fast, giving you even more time to adjust to his size. Once you're sure Johnny will stay still, you reach your hands out. You can hear the squelch of Simon and Kyle jerking off, so you stop them, taking them into your hands. "Shit, maybe I was wrong." Kyle laughs. “Maybe you can take it.” He groans. Thrusting his hips into your hand. You moan around Johnny, John sliding right into your spongy spot, he’s got a death grip on your thighs and your hips buck. “Fuck.. like when you moan around my cock like that sweetheart.” Johnny glides his hand over your throat. He takes hold of you, holding you still so that he can thrust into your mouth, trying not to be too rough. John moans out, feeling you tighten around him. “Fuck.. so fucking tight.” He moans. He relaxes himself. He’s worked up, approaching his orgasm too fast for his liking. He slows his thrusts, pinning your hips to the ground and taking slow deep thrusts into you. “She’s fucking tight-“ he groans. “So fucking good.” He tilts his head down, watching his cock disappear inside of you. “Doing so good for us Princess. So much better than I thought you would.” Kyle laughs, fingertips gliding over your chest at an attempt to soothe you. Your heart was pounding and your skin was bright red and warm. Already so worked up. He lets out a deep chuckle. A taunt. “She’s good at this too.” Johnny groans out, tilting his head back too look at the ceiling. Having to force himself to think about something other than your lips around him. “Got a lot of experience hm? Little slut.” Johnny swats your breast, earning a moan from you. You squirm when he squeezes it, fingertip gliding over your nipple. John felt himself growing closer and closer to the edge of his orgasm. Working through it. “Fuck- fuck.” He gasps. He groans. You’re wet around him, soaking the base of his cock. He admires it.

Johnny slides out of your mouth for just a second, and you gasp in a breath of air, followed by a “I’m gonna cum!” Before Johnny holds you still. “Fuck- me too.” John groans. “Me too.” Johnny’s eyes roll back. Kyle chuckles. “Gonna make them both cum sweetheart. Such a filthy fucking girl. Fucking your Captain and sucking your Sergeant off too.” Kyle leans down, attaching his lips to your nipple, lowering a hand to rub at your clit. He’s running quick circles over it, and you cry out around Johnny’s cock, nearly choking when he ruts his hips into you, pushing himself as far into your throat as you could take and cumming deep inside your throat. John pulls out of you quickly, earning a mewl from you at the loss of your orgasm. Pumping his cock quickly until he coats his hand and your stomach in a layer of his cum. When he cums, it’s sexy. He doesn’t try to hide how good he’s feeling, panting, groaning. When all of their hands are off of you, and Johnny has slid out of your mouth, you’re panting hard. Eyes are watering and your skin is beat red. “How are you doing sweetheart? Can you take it?” Your Captain smirks. Your nod your head lazily and he laughs at this. So pathetic and used already and they’d only just begun. Kyle swaps spots with John, and Simon trades with Johnny. Giving himself a minute before he fucks you. You jerk his cock lazily, same with John. They were both sensitive as they’d just climaxed. Taking this as a moment to relax. “See if I can’t make you cum hm? I know how bad you want it.” Kyle smiles. You lay back, hair damp with sweat as you look up at Simon, forcing your eyes not to widen at his massive size. A deep chuckle leaves his lips, causing chills to raise on your skin. “S’alright, no need to be nervous.” His deep voice puts you in a trance and you look up at him. “Such a pretty girl hm? If you can’t take it all, that’s alright. Just as long as you try f’me.” He smiles. You take a deep breath, adjusting the way you’re laying for a second, opening your legs up for Kyle. He bites his lip at this. Still ready for more.

He wonders if you’ll still be by the end of this.

Kyle’s tip pokes at your entrance and he’s a little more rough than your Captain, starting in fast. The sound of his hips slapping into yours echoes throughout the room, cries leaving your lips at the intensity until Simon leans forward. You swallow down the moans, opening your mouth for him. You’re ready for it, and his thick cock glides into your mouth. You release John and Johnny, forming a death grip on the sleeping bag beneath you. You suck hard at Simons cock as he fucks your throat, breasts bouncing with every hard thrust Kyle takes. “Want this pussy cumming on my cock.” Kyle growls. He’s holding both of your thighs tightly, hips hammering into yours. John rubs gentle circles on your clit, Johnny leaning forward to suck at one of your nipples, fingers gliding over the other. You’re crying out around Simon and he’s struggling to keep himself together. You’re sucking hard and the vibrations from your moans feel so good. He lowers one of his hands, fingers rolling his balls around, stimulating himself even more. Kyle’s teeth are gritted, John was right. You’re wrapped tightly around him, your body naturally milking his cock. You were made for this. Made for pleasuring them. You’re swallowing down gags, you don’t want them to notice your weakness, not even for a second. Simon grits his own teeth, clutching your hands over the sleeping bag. He’s mumbling to you. The others can’t hear it too well, but you can. Strings of moans and curses are leaving his lips. “Such a good girl.. like sucking my big cock, don’t you?” He chuckles when you moan around him. Knowing you can’t answer his questions. He’s stretching at your lips. A sting that you find yourself loving. “Mmm… doing so good. Getting me so close.” Simon releases your hands, you return them to pump at the others’ cocks. Earning groans from both of them. So sensitive, yet still ready for more. He’s more rough than he intends to be, holding you still by your hair and fucking himself into your throat. Watching you turn a deep shade of crimson, choking on his cock. “Oh fuck- just a- just a second longer sweet girl. Take my cock. Take it- Agh!” Simons hips buck, cumming down your throat just as Johnny had earlier. “Jesus LT-“ Johnny laughs. You take in a deep breath when he pulls away, the color fading from your face from having your air cut off. You’re panting, the black dots that had clouded your vision are slowly starting to disappear, the numbness in your body felt amazing, the buzzing in your head blocked everything out. The only thing you seemed to be able to feel was Kyle’s hips slamming into yours.

You’re moaning out, cries and whimpers leaving your lips each time he hammers into your cervix. You prop yourself up, eyes burning into Kyle’s as he fucks into you. He bites his lip hard, hips not stopping for even a second. You reach your hand down, rubbing at your clit, maybe a little harder than you intend. “Fuck.. think she’s about to cum.” John laughs. “She likes that, look at her.” Your hips buck up, eyes rolling back as your body lurches forward. Kyle tilts his head back, “fuck I’m gonna cum.” Kyle’s thrusts slow, and he’s taking hard thrusts into you, riding out your orgasm. When you fingers drop from your clit to clutch the sleeping bag, John replaces them. Earning a few cries from you at the overstimulation. “Oh- fuck!” Kyle gasps out. He slides out of you too, coating your stomach in his cum just like his Captain had. It was time for the next rotation. You were worn out, eyes heavy. Body numb and throbbing. Beads of sweat coated your body and your heart thumped through you. The room buzzed and felt way hotter than earlier. “Need another drink before I fuck her. Johnny is next.” Simon growls, standing up. He was last, and was by far going to be the biggest, you were nervous thinking about it.

Johnny swaps with Kyle, John moving up by your head. It was his turn to feel those pretty lips wrapped around him. “How about we try something else sweetheart?” Johnny smiles. “On your hands and knees f’me baby.” He pats your thigh. You listen, legs wobbling as you move. “Are you alright, Princess?” John asks. You nod your head. John smiles. “No more attitude out of you Hm?” He pushes your hair out of your face, a gasp leaving your lips as Johnny slides into you, grasping hold of your hips as he starts fucking you. John laughs, leaning in to press his forehead to yours. He smiles. Eyes looking into yours. “Am I a good girl Captain?” You smile. “Yeah, doing so good for us.” John’s cock is rock hard again, hearing you say that. Asking if you’re a good girl. It makes him want to bust right there. “Are you ready for more baby? Ready to taste my cock?” You nod your head eagerly. “Such a good girl for me.” He groans out as you lower yourself. He lifts himself up onto his knees, cock level with your mouth. You take him into you, body jolting with each thrust Johnny takes. Kyle squeezes at your breasts, fingertips gliding over your skin to soothe you like he had done before. He knew they were overwhelming you. But you were almost done, and you were proving him wrong. So so wrong. Johnny’s head is tilted back, hearing your moans have been muffled by his Captain’s cock. His cock was overstimulated, but he was still going. The sensitivity makes the sex feel so much better. So much more intense as your body clenches down onto him, relaxing. You can feel another knot building in your stomach, and Johnny can tell. The way you’re clenching around him sells you out. Kyle is running circles over your clit steadily, even with the shaking from Johnny’s thrusts. Simon sits on the couch, bottle of Gin in hand. He’s watching. Your body is so stimulated. Mouth full of cock, cock buried in your pussy. Nipples and clit being stimulated. Your hands are clutching at the ground beneath you. You’re fighting off another orgasm, he can tell from where he’s sitting. If Johnny doesn’t make you cum, Simon would. By the way Johnny’s thrusts are getting sloppy, he’s not going to get you to another. A smile plays at Simons lips. He was about to make you see another fucking world.

Sure, he was a little cocky about it. But he was waiting to go last for a good reason. He’d stretch you more and wanted you to be completely ready.

You swallow down every last bit of cum that your Captain has to give. His hips buck into you, and you try hard not to gag. He relaxes, your head hanging as you cry out. Johnny’s thrusts are sloppy and you know he won’t be able to make you finish, you’re too overwhelmed. Johnny releases a loud gasp, sliding out of you just in time as he pumps his cock hard, orgasm spilling out onto your backside. You collapse onto your stomach, body weak and numb. Kyle laughs. “M’tapping out sweetheart. You’re all Simons now.” Simon stands up from the couch, setting down the empty bottle of gin. He kneels down by your legs, helping you roll into your back. Chuckling at how weak you are. “You remember our safe word right honey?” He smirks. You nod your head weakly. “What is it?”

“Stop.” You croak. He smiles, “can you take more?” You nod your head weakly. “Just lay back and relax. They’re going to take care of you.” You nod your head. A sigh leaves your lips as you lay back. Simon folds one of your legs over the other until you’re on your side. He lifts one of your legs higher, spitting on his hand and rubbing it over your pulsing entrance. As fucked out as you are, you’re still desperate to cum again. Simon starts to glide into you and your mouth falls open. “Oh my god!” You suck in a harsh breath. “It’s okay sweetheart.” John rubs a hand over your hair. They’re all watching Simon stretch you. “Stretching me so much-“ a sob leaves your lips. Simon bites down on his lip, trying not to thrust right into you until you’re crying. Tears start to slide down your face, so overstimulated. But it feels so good. Better than anything you’ve ever felt before. “Ah-“ you move your leg until you’re laying on your back again, pushing down onto Simon, and he groans when he prods at your cervix, bottoming out into you. “Someone’s eager.” He chuckles. When he takes his first thrust, your head falls back into John’s lap. He chuckles, “you’ve got a safe word baby. Don’t forget.” You shake your head. Earning a smile from him. “Doing so good for Simon baby. So good.” He chuckles, running his fingers through your damp hair. He draws his hips back, thrusting into you again. A moan leaving your lips. They didn’t get to hear too much of it before. Your mouth was full. Your moans are perfect and they egg Simon on. He starts to be a little more rough, hips hammering into yours until your body is jumping with each one he takes. Simon won’t last long, but that doesn’t matter.

Because neither will you.

His thick cock brushes right up against your spongy spot, and your eyes roll back. Shutting tightly. “Ah! S-Simon- feels weird.” You whimper, “S’okay baby. Just let it happen.” John breathes, they all know what’s coming, stealing glances at each other with a smile. Your body began to shake, cries leaving your lips. You try to squirm but John holds you tight. Johnny moves forward, rubbing circles over your overstimulated nub. “A-Ah! I’m going to-“ a cry leaves your lips and Simon fucks you through it, body jerking hard as you reach your high, your arousal squirting out around Simon, fluids coating Simon as a scream leaves your lips. Simon groans, still fucking into you as he reaches his own high. “So fucking good. Fucking tight around me.” He grits his teeth. He knows he should pull out, but he doesn’t. “Agh- can’t fucking stop,” he growls. He takes a tight hold on your hips, burying his cock as deep as it’ll go and reaching his orgasm. Filling you to the hilt with his spunk.

Your body gives out completely, panting. You’re drenched in sweat and coated in bodily fluids. Most not even yours. Simon moans when he sees his cum spill back out of you. Pumping out with each pulse from your pussy. John let’s go of you, giving you a moment to relax. They all stand up, admiring their work. “I was wrong, she could take it.” Kyle laughs. Each of them standing around you like a pack of wolves, that’d just devoured their prey. Your eyes are heavy and don’t stay open for long. You fall asleep quickly, still nude and coated in fluid.

“Let’s clean her up, everyone else has clothes so she can sleep with Johnny.” They nod their heads, making a mutual agreement. You didn’t have back up clothes and neither did Johnny, which meant you could keep each other warm through the night. It was the desert. It would get freezing. With whatever wipes and clothes they didn’t need, they cleaned your skin off, using a damn cloth to wipe your face off before using it for the rest of your body, even between your legs so that you didn’t feel uncomfortable. They helped put your undergarments back on so that you wouldn’t wake up naked, and discarded your ruined emergency blanket with a mutual agreement to gift you another when they returned. “I found an extra hoodie in my bag, let’s put it on her too.” Gaz passes it to Johnny. He moves your body to slide it onto you. “M’gonna take her bra back off than. That can’t be comfortable. She complains about them every time she’s around.” Johnny laughs. “True.” He tucks your bra into your bag and unzips your sleeping bag for more warmth over the both of you.

He forces you awake for just a second for a drink of water and after, you’re fast asleep again. Johnny gets settled with you, pulling you into him so that the both of you are warm. Once everyone settles in, they turn their lights off.

The next morning, Johnny is shaking you awake. “Exfil is a mile out lass. Cmon.” You nod your head, going to stand up. Your legs buckle underneath you and Johnny laughs as he catches you. “Just sit there for a minute yeah?” He smiles. “Simon, I’ll take your bag. You get her.” He nods his head, moving closer. He passes Johnny his bag, kneeling down in front of you. You climb onto his back and he’s lifting you up. He has a hold of your thighs, your arms wrapped around his front. You were riding piggyback on him. They cover your bottom half with an emergency blanket, luckily Gaz’s hoodie was long and covered you as well. “Alright. One mile. Let’s do this.” They all nod.

You rest your head on Simons back, eyes growing heavy once again.

ask and you shall receive my babies XD

@shroomje @mothcelestial @lillianastuff

#call of duty mw2 #soap mw2 #cod mw2 #ghost mw2 #captain john price #price mw2 #alejandro mw2 #captain price #johnny soap mactavish #mw2 smut

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a-dauntless-daffodil · 5 days

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the idea of a "not zombie plague" at the hotel.... what an effing comedy it could be...

thanks @sunsetcougar and @insert-funny-name-here69 for making me picture it XD

Vaggie comes back from Cannibal Town snuffling, no big deal, maybe it's all those feathered hats and fur stoles (sUSaN) or nice flowers or whatever. Vaggie goes to bed like normal, wakes up the next day GROANING, stiff and grumpy and shuffling around the hotel

Oh no!- Charlie the protective gf cries- what if there's some hellborn illness angels are weak towards??? It's time to physically carry Vaggie back to bed for rest (and keep doing that a few times until it sticks and she puts Razzle on guard at the door) (also print out and past their room's windows with pics of her own pleading pout so Vaggie won't try flying to freedom again) (and crashing again)

well this is kinda a weird and kinda funny for the rest of the hotel... until the Symptoms start to spread

sneezing is the first stage, the infection fun, a sign you've already got it, but everyone wants to blame Susan and Susan's specific perfectly matching (aka hostile harsh and annoying) choice of perfume lingering around the hotel, so they all (not vaggie) (vaggie thinks susan is The Coolest) just walk around sneezing and yelling "FUCK YOU SUSAN" afterwards instead of "bless you" or whatever

loss of appetite isn't that big a deal at first- between the guy with the drug addiction, his friend also with a drug addiction, an alcoholic, a tiny woman who can fill up on a single ritz cracker, a guy who eats rotting dear corpses, a pig who regularly gets his appetite spoiled with treats, an egg boi who doesn't know what he eats without his boss around to tell him, a goat demon stuffie hell bent on only consuming doughnuts, a demon princess too busy singing and scheming happiness plans to do things like SLEEp never mind EAT, her girlfriend who will care about stuff like hunger once everything else is taken care of and not a second before, an the KING of hell who hasn't even had an appetite for LIFE in ages.... no one notices the lack of eating going on at first, until it's Too Late

stiffness and aching of the joints has everyone complaining when it hits tho. Angel Dust is pissed it got in the way of his performance. Husk feels old again and gets grumpy when he gets called old man which makes him even MORE grumpy. Niffty enjoys it for 4 minutes until it throws off her rat kill rate. Alastor pretends to feel nothing but every time he moves there's a horrible CRACK from any and all bending joints and Cherri finds him stiffly stuck in a chair a least once. Cherri is the best off bc she mainly just feels like she got blown up and is used to it. Vaggie is having flash backs to the pain and weakness right after losing her first wings- Charlie wants to help but is hunched over so far she regularly rests her chin on Vaggie's head and doesn't have the energy to drag her back to bed. Lucifer is ACTUALLY hobbling around using his cane, snapping to false casualness whenever someone looks his way, secretly using a rubber duck as a stress ball. They grudgingly agree they can't blame this one on Susan (actually...) and migrate to the lobby as a group, trying to figure out what KIND of hell bug they've somehow caught.

Now is where the loss of appetite finally gets notices. Vaggie dragged out some food for the war council and NO ONE can stand even LOOKING at it. there are, however, at lot of OTHER looks going around....

Husk edges away from Angel, who's eying him even more hungrily than usual but without any of the sultriness. Niffty scuttling past gets his attention and makes his tail do the little pre-pound wiggle as he sinks his claws into the sofa to keep from FOR REAL pouncing. Cherri is staring at her bestie Angel Dust and gritting her many sharp teeth at the hallucination that he's limbs are actually full of drugs. Alastor's eye is twitching, the hotel gusts all having taken on the shape of deer carcasses from his point of view. Lucifer is fine until he looks over at Vaggie- he looks away instantly and shoves his ducky in his mouth to BITE, panics, yanks it free again, and when he looks down it's morphed into a stylized duck version of Vaggie with bite marks. Vaggie has gone dead quiet and is staring at her future father in law, clutching her spear, mentally roasting him over hellfire on a spit in her mind's eye.

Charlie sees all this happening like what is going ON guys, why are you all acting so... sooooo............Hm. Charlie wonders aloud if Razzle, Dazzle, and the Egg Boi have always had such a close resemblance to juicy little roast chickens?

Then Niffty bites Husk's tail and the hotel is overrun from the inside

it's not a ZOMBIE plague- it's CANNIBAL FLU- and now sinners are chasing sinners down the halls with knives and forks, Charlie is trying NOT to eat the little hellborn as they try and fail to nibble on her lanky limbs, and Vaggie and Lucifer-

there is a new hole in the hotel where Vaggie tackled her future dad in law through the roof and now anyone looking the hotel has great view of them both snarling, circling each other in the air, spitting out mouthfulls of feathers from successfully blocking each other's bites while failing to to grab any FLESH with their own

Thankfully Rosie had finally gotten wind of Vaggie leaving with a 'slight head cold' last time and waltzes over just in time to toss some of her best stock into the hotel, a fine selection of sinner, hellborn, and even some leftover angel steaks from the battle, smartly distracting the hotel crew from hunting and tearing into each other instead

One very upsetting but ENERGETIC meal later, the blankly traumatized (and blood spattered) hotel crew huddle in groups back in the over turned lobby, listening as Rosie assures them the worst is over and they should be good as gore by tomorrow morning!

Alastor politely informs Roise that the mention of gore at just that moment might not have been the BEST choice of words

right on cue, Husk starts making hairball noises, and everyone else looks suddenly sick

Vaggie sighs, patting her gf on the back as Charlie tearfully hugs Razzle after having had her jaw unhinged in preparation of swallowing him whole when Rosie made her timely arrival (Razzle forgives her, he was planning to try devouring her from the inside out or die trying) (meanwhile Charlie had put both Fatty Nuggets and the Egg Boi on a frying pan and was preparing to have a nice cozy ghibli-style family meal- of friendship. literally. of friends)

-alright, Vaggie gives in, fine. Just one time I'll say it too.... Who do we blame for all this?

SUSAN everyone growls

this reminds Rosie to pass out the "shove your groaning up your asses" cards Susan made for all of them, which are, of course, scented

Vaggie sneezes at the scent and there's a stampede as everyone not wildly in love with her tries to run and save themselves

cannibal flu. it puts the "i" in cannibal as in that's what it makes YOU

cannibals are immune to this party bc they would barely even notice if they had it, for them, it's just suddenly turning into picky eater for a few days until the craving is satisfied :3 sometimes with your next door neighbor but really, isn't that what neighbors are for~?

(charlie falls into bed that night, exhausted, only to look around at a strange chewing noise)

(it's vaggie. on the window seat, hunched over with wings huddled around herself, looking up frozen in the act of gnawing on lute's torn off and left behind arm)

Vaggie: ".... Susan sent it over for me, special."

Charlie: "Uh huh."

Vaggie: "I'm not sick anymore! I just, was kinda curious..."

Charlie: "Vaggie, I support you biting the arm of the woman who tore out your eye. And you look great smeared with angelic blood." (pouting) "....but can you be cannibal curious in the morning and snuggle with me now?"

Vaggie: (tossing lute's arm into the bathroom) "Always, sweetie."

Charlie: "Mmm gooood. Now kisses!"

Vaggie: "Shit wait, I should wash my mouth-"

Charlie: "Or not?"

Vaggie: "..not?"

Charlie: "I'm kinda curious too~"

and thus was Susan's cannibal propaganda successfully spread, by the power of gay love, and how hot the demon princess of hell thinks it is when her angel girlfriend is spattered with someone else's blood

#hazbin hotel #vaggie #charlie morningstar #chaggie #husk hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon #angel dust hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #niffty hazbin hotel #cherri bomb hazbin hotel #rosie hazbin hotel #susan hazbin hotel #incorrect quotes #utter silly nonsense #what if they were overcome with the urge to BITE BITE BITE #XD

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chenziee · 6 months

Text

Revelations (we could do without)

Content warning: pure chaos

My brain refused to let me sleep last night because it took a random dialogue line in Punk Hazard and ran away with it and decided to make it everyone else's problem xD I hope it makes someone laugh just a little bit :)

[ READ ON AO3 | KO-FI ]

—————

Nami couldn’t believe it. She had thought that with Robin and Usopp there, Luffy and Zoro wouldn’t do anything completely stupid or insane on that burning island. She had also thought that staying on the Sunny would be safe.

But here they fucking were.

In but a few hours, Nami found herself standing in the broken remains of some laboratory in the absolutely freezing, semi-deserted half of said island, stuck in Franky’s giant, iron body while surrounded by children of various sizes playing happily around them. An alligator centaur was glaring at her. They barely just got rid of a talking severed head only for it to get put on a walking pair of severed legs—going off to search for his creepy moving severed torso. Her body was likely currently being groped by Sanji and ogled by Brook. At least the charges she was planning to collect would be somewhat worth it, she supposed…

But then the children started collapsing from terrible drug withdrawals and Nami really had to wonder what kind of cursed star she was born under.

And if all of that wasn’t enough, now the creepiest fucking guy Nami’d ever met was just standing there, casually chatting with Luffy as if 90 % of everything she just recounted wasn’t his own damn fault. And he wouldn’t even get her back inside her own body! Sure, Sanji was still better than Franky but she wanted her beautiful, delicate figure back, goddamn it! She didn’t work so hard to stay in shape, pampering her skin and hair just to lose it, simply because Mr Warlord here thought it was funny or something.

And as if that wasn’t enough—

“I am going to go with your decision, but Luffy—” Robin said, tone serious— “but betrayal is all too common with pirate alliances.”

—there was this goddamned alliance thing.

Nami knew there was no point trying to talk Luffy out of it but that didn’t mean she was happy about it or didn’t try. And god, did she try.

The entire walk back from the stupid mountain back to the laboratory, she did nothing but argue with him, trying to explain all the reasons why an alliance was a bad idea but it was like talking to a snickering wall.

She loved Luffy and she would die for him but she really hated him sometimes.

Stubborn idiot.

He was so lucky Nami was too tired to get mad about it anymore.

“Who’s the doctor?” Trafalgar Law asked, full of exasperation after his short-lived, pointless argument with Luffy about helping the children, then groaned when everyone wordlessly pointed at Chopper, lying immobile on the ground after Franky and Luffy’s collective abuse.

“I’ll help you with the drug antidote but I can’t really walk right now,” Chopper said apologetically. “Can you carry me?”

For a moment, it looked like Law was regretting every single life decision that led him to this point—and good riddance, it was his own fault—before he clicked his tongue in annoyance. “Fine. But you’ll have to hide.”

“I’ll get you ready, Chopper.” Usopp hurried over before he grabbed Chopper’s little backpack and started stuffing all the equipment he had used on the children earlier inside.

Meanwhile, Law was rubbing at his temples and Nami was sure he was having a headache about as bad as she herself did.

Just then, Luffy approached Law, that bright, blinding smile of his plastered on his face. “By the way, Torao,” he started, poking Law’s side a few times to get his attention.

“What?” Law sighed, sounding absolutely exhausted.

“You said there was something you wanted to take back from me earlier? What did you mean?” Luffy questioned, his eyebrows furrowed into an adorable frown while he tilted his head to the side curiously.

Law was silent for a moment, simply regarding Luffy silently before he clicked his tongue again, looking away. And this time… he looked almost embarrassed as he opened his mouth to speak.

“I meant my heart, Straw Hat-ya,” he muttered, obviously trying to keep his voice down enough that the rest of the crew didn’t hear. Unfortunately for him, however… this cave-like structure did nothing for secrecy, with all the echoing.

And so… Nami could still hear him loud and clear.

Her eyes blew wide as her mouth fell open. She exchanged a look with Usopp, the man looking about as horrified as Nami felt. She wasn’t sure if that made her feel better or worse.

Because holy shit.

Trafalgar Law, the Surgeon of Death, one of the Warlords of the Sea… really said that.

“Did he just confess to Luffy?” Usopp mouthed in her direction.

Nami’s eyes flickered between Law, Luffy, and Usopp before she nodded stiffly. Then, she turned her attention fully to the pair, taking in the scene before her.

To her surprise, Luffy didn’t look the least bit shocked or taken aback or creeped out or… anything along those lines, really. Instead, he was standing in front of Law confidently, perfectly relaxed; only his frown had deepened even more while he stuck his bottom lip out in a pout.

It looked like he was actually unhappy about what Law had said—or maybe disappointed?

“But why?” Luffy whined, this time grabbing at Law’s sleeve and pulling sharply—an action that only got him a dirty look. “I like it! It’s not like you need it.”

“Straw Hat-ya, a person can’t live without a heart,” Law retorted, unimpressed.

Luffy simply rolled his eyes in response. “You know what I mean, you ass.”

At that… Law chuckled. Actually chuckled.

“Fine, have it your way. Don’t blame me if you die later because of it.” There was a teasing smirk on his lips as he spoke.

And then…

Nami’s eyes blew even wider if at all possible as she could do nothing but watch while Trafalgar fucking Law leaned down, pressing his mouth to Luffy’s. While Luffy let him. Then laughed happily when Law pulled away again.

If she wasn’t so frozen, Nami would have screamed.

Because oh god.

Oh.

God.

They kissed. They fucking kissed like it was nothing, like it was normal, like they had done it a hundred times before.

Nami had no idea what was even happening anymore. Luffy did mention Law had saved him after the war but this? This was something completely different. It was absolutely insane, actually.

“I think your crew’s going to explode,” Law noted, finally breaking the oppressive silence that had settled over the lab—or at least seemed to have; it wasn’t like Lufffy and Law had stopped talking after… that but Nami couldn’t hear anything they said over the static in her brain.

“Can you blame us?!” Usopp cried, his hands flying up to cover his eyes as if the sight had burned them.

“Oh.” Robin chuckled. “I think you’ve neglected to mention something, Luffy.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Luffy asked, full of confusion once again.

“You didn’t tell them we’re dating?” Law asked, his eyebrow raised as he glanced at Luffy.

Luffy, who merely hummed in a way that made it clear he thought it didn’t matter—or thought it was too much of a drag to explain. But finally, he turned to the present members of his crew, placing his hands on his hips and proudly declaring, “Guys, Torao’s my boyfriend.”

“Tell us these things before you scar us for life!” Usop screeched, his face still buried in his hands in despair. Or maybe he was trying to claw his eyes out. “I don’t even want to know what that thing about his heart was anymore.”

A happy smile spread on Luffy’s face and he started talking animatedly. “That one’s so funny, actually! Torao’s power is super weird. He can take organs out and it’s so cool, okay? He let me play with my intestines and stuff.”

A strangled, horrified noise came from Chopper, the only reaction from the one normal and sane doctor around, apparently. It was a reaction that perfectly conveyed how Nami was feeling in that moment.

“Luffy, please—” Usopp started but Robin interrupted him.

“Please continue, that sounds fascinating,” she said, apparently paying rapt attention to whatever creepy shit Luffy had just said.

“No! Please just shut up!” Nami begged, her hands quickly coming up to cover her ears in a vain attempt to stop the words from reaching her.

Luffy, however, paid neither her nor Usopp any mind, his grin widening at Robin’s prompting; he continued, now even waving his hands around in excitement. “Yeah so, we couldn’t have a vivre card made on Amazon Lily so Torao just took out our hearts and switched them so now I have his heart with me. It’s such a funny feeling, you guys should try it!”

Nami didn’t have the brain capacity for this anymore.

She really should have just stayed with Arlong.

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hotcat37 · 5 months

Note

pls pls pls Käsh fic recs 🤲

KÄSH MENTIONED 🔥🔥🗣🗣 I'll try to strike a balance between ICIP universe Käsh and normal guys Käsh fics!!

by @morbid-things This is art and not a fic but idc everyone should look at it because Alistair COOKED and I'm obsessed with how well he drew Tommy being weird abt Jere <3 (the art where Tommy fingers Jere's wound is also highly recommended 👀)

by @lintubin2!! (I forgor to complete the tag lmfao) What is a Käsh fic rec list if not for Splinters.... This one is pretty hard to summarize, it follows Kä and Tommy after the ICIP mv and there were a lot of surprises in this fic. You will probably be disoriented and ugly sobbing by the end of it 👍 (would read it again ofc)

by @darkerthanblack-666!! An interesting look into ICIP!Käärijä's psychology and his relationship with Häärijä. I included it here because Tommy is important to the story and his relationship with Kä is kind of sweet in a fucked up way XD

by @hazzybat !! I am so sorry for recommending your drabbles out of all the amazing fics you've written but there's so many great concepts in there I just had to!😭 The princess! Jere x knight! Tommy and the one where Tommy does a handstand hit different ngl (bonus rec: their fic Hatefucking!! Angry Tommy fucks a forgetful Jere)

by @cinder-rose!! I'm sorry for dragging you into yet another fic rec list but I'm afraid you ate with this one. Big CW for somnophilia and drugging!! Tommy puts Jere to sleep and has his way with him 👀 Completely consensual, ethically questionable and somehow tender all at once

by chokeherout!! This is ABO which I am not into whatsoever but this fic is genuinely funny and the smut was so good I almost forgot I was reading an alpha/omega fic lmao 😭😂 It basically follows the music video plot but with the added sexy(?) twist ;)

by Natiushq !! Tommy and Jere in a shower, what will they do?😳 Tommy is such a menace in this and i love how Jere is genuinely puzzled by his attraction to him lol Part 2 is also excellent and there's interesting character study stuff in this one too :)

by BoldnotBrash !! Succubus! Käärijä AU 👀 Tommy is just really horny and going along for the ride (heh) so he can get laid 😭 Their interactions are rlly funny in this fic and the Succubus lore was genuinely interesting to read too!

by Rising_Starship_Phoenix !! Fic where Tommy is really into Jere's leather look ;3 Includes some light bondage, honestly just a fun fic where they mess around and admire each other's hot bodies <3

#käärijä #tommy cash #käsh #these fics are for a very specific audience but tbh that goes for anything Käsh related lol #Fic rec #anon ask

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b4mpyre-k1zz3s · 7 months

Note

For the sake of being in the Halloween spirit, and also inspiration from your name-

Vampire!Bam x gn reader where Bam and reader are already together, and reader thinks it’s funny to make Bam dress up as Dracula for a Halloween party. 🤭 I could literally come up with more Bampire scenarios lmaoo I just feel like younger skater boy vamp Bam would be so cute 😭

Bite Me!

Bam agrees to go along with Y/N’s costume idea- on one particular condition.

Bam Margera X Gn!Reader

(Fluff)

2.7k Words

Warnings: Suggestive content, alcohol, drug mention, biting, hickies,

An: Aaa happy early Halloween!! I’m not sure if you can tell from how I write this but I don’t go to too many Halloween parties XD I really liked writing for Bam early on in his Jackass career in this one, but yet again I like writing for Bam in general. I’ve never been super into the whole vampire romance type thing but I think writing this changed my mind! ;)

“Come on, Bam! One couple’s costume isn’t gonna kill you.” Rolling your eyes at the sound of your boyfriend groaning, you smeared on white face paint in the bathroom mirror, the sink below you crowded with containers of various products. “Its fuckin’ stupid! I mean,” He reluctantly peeled himself off of his spot on your bed, walking to the bathroom to squint over your shoulder at your reflection, “A ‘Bampire’? Really?”

You turned to him, your faces so close you swore you got makeup on him, “Yes. It was either that or Lamb Margera, and I didn’t feel like being Little Bo Peep. So there.” Not to mention, you thought he’d look adorable in the whole cape and puffy shirt getup. Planting a peck on his cheek, you went back to your makeup before you felt his hands snake around your waist as Bam leaned in towards you, mumbling against your neck, “Fine…but on one condition.” God, it was so easy to get to him. You nearly giggled as he continued, his teeth grazing your skin, “I get’t bite you tonight.” Oh, there was no way you could say no to that. “Alright…” You feigned annoyance, “Just not too hard?”

A Halloween party the two of you went to would be a good way for you to meet some of your boyfriend's new friends, you thought, gazing out the window as you drove along dim streets. As of one month prior he was a tv star, which you still hadn’t gotten over yet, but all you knew about what he did was the new and progressively grosser injuries he came home with. When you imagined his co-stars, you pictured a room full of cool extreme dudes that wear lots of baggy jeans and listen to edgy music.

So when you opened the door, you were kinda surprised. “Hey, sexy!” A man who could have been the real life Tarzan clad in the tightest patent leather playboy bunny costume, complete with satin bunny ears and black high heels, grinned at your boyfriend, leaning against the doorframe. Woah. You couldn’t deny, this guy pulled it off. Turning to lead you in, he shook his genuinely impressive ass a little, showing off the fluffy white tail he had on, “Bam has been telling us all about you!” Your boyfriend played it off like it was nothing but you nodded, trying not to make it obvious what you were staring at as you filtered through the crowd towards the kitchen. He chuckled this charming stoner laugh, leaning against a countertop cluttered with half empty liquor bottles, “I'm Chris, by the way.” You smiled when he shivered a little as his skin felt cold marble, giggling.

Talking over the loud music, you chatted with him and Bam for a while about the show and how well everything was going with the show- they might even be getting renewed another season in a few months! Oh, you were so excited to hear you leaned over and planted one on your boyfriend’s cheek. He rolled his eyes childishly, keeping up his tough guy exterior as you giggled. Suddenly, with your arms wrapped around his shoulders, something caught your attention from the corner of your eye- a rainbow blur followed by a fireball from the far side of the marble counter that lit up the dim, crowded room in a hot orange glow before, just as quickly, flickering out. You could hear Bam, and everyone else at the party, cheering for the guy in the multicolored clown costume as he landed with exaggerated bravado. One the applause died down, he made his way over to you and Bam, grabbing a couple beers from the fridge. Your boyfriend grinned, taking one from him, “That wath, like- theriously gnarly dude.” As much as he tried to downplay the lisp, you really found it kind of cute, but he’d kill you if you said that in front of his buddies. Bam threw his arm around you, “Thith ith Y/N. ” His huge pupils almost looked like a part of his clown makeup as he fist bumped you, speaking with a voice that sounded like he gargled tacks, “Hey, dude! Wanna beer?” Before you could answer, one was already in your hands, but it’s not like you would deny a beer from a clown. Bam chuckled as the clown left as soon as he arrived, “And that wath Theve…”

The party buzzed hotly around you, just so many people doing so many substances- a hotbed of sweaty activity. Not really listening to whatever you were saying to him at this point, Bam glanced over your shoulder, eyes widening as he gestured to someone just out of your line of sight to come over. A few moments later, you felt a broad shoulder brush against your arm and you turned. God, he looked straight out of one of those old westerns, especially with the way he tipped that black cowboy hat as he smirked, leaning down to you and drawling sweetly, “Howdy.” God, why does your boyfriend have so many hot friends? You chuckled as Bam took to introducing him, “Thith ith Johnny, n’heth probably the cooleth dude here bethideth mythelf.” Johnny chuckled, cracking a crooked smile, “Aww, you flatter me.” Thinking of something, he turned to look towards the living room, “Hey, me’n the fellas are settin’ up ‘Pin The Dick On The Jackass’ over there. Wanna join?��

That’s how you ended up holding a brass tack with a giant red construction paper penis dangling from your hand. You nervously stared at the bubble butt in front of you, not wanting to stick Chris and probably give him tetanus. “C’mon, c’mon- just do it!” He giggled, looking back at you with an unexpected level of giddiness. The people around you laughed and cheered as you squeezed your eyes shut, your hands shaky as you slowly moved them closer, until…

You felt Chris jump, his little bunny tail bobbing as he patted his chest, giggling, “Ooh!!” The room went wild at the sight of the paper dick swinging as he bounced on his toes as he chuckled, still managing to smile despite the tack in his ass, “Usually that feels pretty good, but that stung a little! Somebody get me a beer!” You couldn’t help yourself but to smile a little- these guys know how to have a good time.

“Really? A couple’s costume? Cute.” Ryan stood with his arms folded, leaning against one wall on the sidelines of the action. Bam rolled his eyes, “Oh yeah? N’whatre you thuppothed to be? Evel Kinevil?” Propping his helmet up on his hip, Ryan turned to him, grinning, “First off, I’m a motocross dude. Second of all,” He pointed to you in the center of the circle of people, “Y/N’s hand’s gettin’ pretty damn close to asses that aren’t yours. ‘You gonna do anything about that?” Ryan knew to play on Bam’s jealous streak concerning you, bored and wanting to see something happen.

Johnny gazed into the water of the big tin bucket, “Jesus…if you’re that bad with your mouth, I’d worry for Y/N…” Yanking his head up, water dripped down Bam’s forehead as he shot a glare at the cowboy, “Yeah, tho I’m gettin’ the damn apple!” It had been five minutes. Dunn chuckled, his teasing from earlier seeming to have done its job in making the party more interesting. You found it kind of cute to watch him frantically searching around for an apple, the fangs stuck to his teeth in no way helping him bite one. After what felt like forever, he whipped his head up, water spraying everywhere as he emerged victorious with the crisp apple wedged firmly in his teeth. “Alright dude!” Steve came up all smiles, patting him on the back with a gloved hand, leaning in, “By the way, I totally pissed in that water.”

“Are- are you theriouth?” Bam received a nod. Laughing, Steve got punched in the arm by your reasonably pissed off boyfriend (no pun intended), leading you to imagine this sort of thing was pretty routine for them. Gross. You could only wonder what other bodily fluids have been on him. As he stormed off to the bathroom, you felt a familiar hand grasp yours, leading you away from the hot crowd. Oh. Oh? Ducking down a dark hallway, you trailed behind Bam, not even thinking about how wet his hand was as the liquid dripped down your fingers.

Closing the door behind you, it was like you had just stepped into your own little world away from the chaos of the party. Music thumped through the walls softly, making your whole body vibrate as you leaned against the wall. You watched your boyfriend rinse his hair off in the sink under half burnt out vanity lights. Bam ran a hand through his soaked, dark curls, now half plastered to his forehead as he looked at you from the porcelain with those piercing blue eyes.

“Tho…” He stood up and took a step closer to you, his hands finding their place on your waist. Your noses nearly touched as he leaned in close to you, his breath warm on your skin as he raised an eyebrow, whispering against your ear with a fanged grin, “How ‘bout that bite now?” Heat rose from your toes all the way up to your cheeks as you blushed, flustered. He turned his head to the side, spitting the fangs out in the sink before dipping his head and closing in on your neck. You held your breath, but he seemed to hesitate for a second, watching your tense reaction with a smirk. He was playing with his food. Finally, after what felt like forever, you felt his teeth sink into your flesh.

You let out a whimper, not even noticing when the unlocked door to your side creaked open. Hell, you didn’t even pick up on it once the snickers started pouring in, too consumed by the purple, throbbing hickey Bam was presently biting into your neck. It took Chris leaning in, asking, “Hey, can I get one next?” To shake you out or your trance, whipping your head around at the crowd as they childishly giggled and gaged in mock disgust. Your face somehow turned redder than before, but Bam didn’t seem to be bothered in the slightest, chuckling, “How much’a that did you guys catch?” Johnny grinned, leaning against the door jamb, “Just enough.”

#jackass #bam margera #johnny knoxville #ryan dunn #chris pontius #steve o #jackass fanfiction #jackass fanfic #fluff #jackass x reader #bam margera x reader

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kennys-parka-jacket · 6 months

Note

Kenny for that ask game! And all of the questions, or how ever many you feel like answering.

This took me, like, an hour and a hslf to type.

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

On surface level he's really cute and silly. Then you realize he's perverse and swears like a sailor. Then you learn he's a loyal friend, good at emotional support, and will do anything for the people he loves.

He's also pretty versatile. He can be a beautiful princess, a batman-esque vigilante, an eccentric mad scientist, a whitetrash redneck, a talented opera singer, a skilled musician, etc. He can do anything!! (Except sew and cook apparently XD)

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

How he broke the cycle of abuse that's been going on for generations in his family. Also, despite arguably having the worst home life, he never let himself become villian-like like some other characters in this series.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

His tendency to be ignored by the writers. From being 'permanently' killed off to being reduced to a background character for a few seasons to just kinda being forgotten about halfway through some episodes.

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

Sanrio, any animated run. I just think it'd be funny if this little orange nugget was running around the hello kitty universe being his usual R-rated self and every line of dialogue slipping past the censors.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Promotion Man by Merzbow. Same reason as All Star, despite the pain of existence he stays silly!! But in a much more noisy and industrial kinda way. Also I think Kenny would listen to harsh noise. (Tumblr wont let me link it :( )

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

Already answered.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

In fan art he's often smiling when no one else is. Not in a way that feels like his happiness comes at the expense of others, but moreso he just has a different mindset. Or perhaps he's just high among his sober friends; which, given how he acts in canon sometimes, might be possible.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

When fans portray him as a casual sexual predator and it gets played off as just him being a flirt. The second half of that is the important part.

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

That's a big fat NOPE lol. He's messy as hell, cant cook, and, with his luck, he'd probably die every other week. Sorry, but there's no way no how it would ever happen.

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

Probably, yeah. Kenny gets along with pretty much everyone and I get along with most people too. I see no reason why we couldn't be friends.

11. Would you date this character?

He's 10 XD. But if you mean when he's around my age, still likely no. Reasons I'd rather not get into.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Some items he never leaves home without: a loaded handgun, drugs of some kind, 20+ dollars in loose change, the same phone that he's been using for the past five years.

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

🧡😸🍊 reminds me of him

🌮😏🤘 IIRC canonically those are his most used emojis

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

You know those shirts they sell at Spencers? Yeah.

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

In no particular order:

- Kenrietta. lady who's goth throughout x guy who's secretly goth but looks like the sunniest guy alive. They compliment each other nicely but also lend some funny contrast.

-Kammy/Kentam. The two poorest people in town, match each other's energy and craving for physical affection, are fiercely loyal to each other.

-Stenny. Sooo much angst and hurt/comfort.

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

Tbh never been extremely fond of that trope where his partner acts like they dislike him. But whatever, it just isnt my cup of tea.

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

This is such an oddly specific question lol. Anyway, i enjoy him and craig, but a lot of content for them feels rather one sided. With that said, they absolutely deserve their reputation as one of the most popular ships in this fandom's history.

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

Basically the plot of season 24 is that everybody loves him even when no one likes each other. I strive to have that kind of relationship one day XD.

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

I dont know WHAT is going on between him and his grandpa, but something aint right.

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

Everybody because everyone loves him.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Already answered.

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?

Love how people write about his demise; everyone does it differently and it's epic each time.

Ngl it's pretty funny when fans write about him doing sex work sometimes. It's often comical how much he's willing to do for so little in return. Homeboy's seriously risking jailtime for a buck fifty.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

His muffled speech kinda reminds me of Coco from FHFIF. Also Rada from Chowder.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

First impression: the cutest little tangerine in the whole wide world.

Now: I would protect you with my life. I'm gonna go buy another pair of socks with your face on it.

#Thanks for the ask!!

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victorluvsalice · 5 months

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Merry Christmas Newt!

@dont-offend-the-bees Sooo, you had no specific prompts for me, which opened the floor for me to write something -- weird. Something that combined a couple of things I know you're interested in, because I've seen them on your tumblr. Something that, specifically, crossed over your new obsession with the Saw movies...with a certain British gameshow hosted by Greg Davies that I myself rather like. I actually came up with this idea a little while back and meant to message you about it, but forgot -- and I'm kind of glad I did, because that allowed me to write this ridiculous thing as a surprise. XD Hope you find it funny!

Tasksaw

“Well – we’re in a bit of a pickle, aren’t we?”

“I’d say it’s more than just a pickle,” Josh snapped back, tugging on the chain attaching his leg to the wall to test its strength. Depressingly, it seemed to be pretty damn well bolted in there. “Or do you get drugged and wake up in moldy old bathrooms with your leg manacled to the nearest wall often?”

“I can’t say I have,” the other fellow – who’d introduced himself as James – admitted, giving his leg a cursory kick. The chain attached to it rattled, snaking across the filthy floor. “Though I have been in my fair share of shitty bathrooms before.”

Josh squinted at him. “Was that an intentional pun, or. . . ?”

James just gave him a smirk – which was quickly replaced by a frown as he looked around the room again. “It is a very odd place, though. You have any idea why we’re here?”

“Not a bloody clue, mate,” Josh said, letting his chain slip from his hands. “I mean, obviously we pissed off somebody, but I don’t know who or why.”

“Yeah, me either. The guys in Pindrop weren’t that upset about us breaking up,” James muttered, scratching his head. “Which was actually a bit insulting, if you think about it – oh! Hang on!” He snapped his fingers, pointing frantically at Josh. “We need to check that our kidneys haven’t been stolen!”

“Our – our kidneys?” Josh repeated, baffled.

“Yeah! That’s the main reason people get kidnapped, isn’t it?” James said, rolling up the side of his shirt to stare at his abdomen. “To get their organs harvested? And I rather appreciate having my kidneys inside my body!”

“You’ve been reading too many conspiracy theory sites,” Josh said – though he did slip a hand under his shirt, just to feel for any new scars. “Besides, I think we should have woken up in a bathtub full of ice if that was the case.”

“Nobody said our kidnappers had to be good at harvesting organs.”

“Excuse me!”

Both men looked up as the door on the far wall, just out of reach of their chains, opened, admitting a rather awkward-looking man with a scruffy beard and gapped teeth, dressed in a smart black suit and carrying an iPad. “Hello,” he greeted them, with a smile that didn’t seem entirely natural. “Would you like to play a game?”

Josh stared for a moment, trying and failing to come up with an appropriate way to respond to this. “Um. . .”

“What game?” James said, rolling his shirt back down and giving the newcomer a suspicious look. “Who are you?”

“Right, right, let me just. . .”

The man did something on his iPad, then held it up, displaying an image of a rather portly and extremely tall late-middle-aged man in glasses, sat upon an ornate golden throne. “GREETINGS, PEONS!” a powerful voice rang out from the tinny speakers. “Allow me to introduce myself – I am THE TASKMASTER! Your one true love, your reason for getting up in the morning, your NEW GOD AND MASTER! Over the next few days, I shall set you a series of tasks, overseen by my admin and general puppet-man Little Alex Horne! I shall score these tasks according to my whims, and at the end of our time together, whoever scores the most points wins the most valuable prize of all – THEIR LIFE! The loser will be killed in an appropriately ironic fashion. So play well, and amuse me. Puppet-man, I leave things in your hands. DON’T SCREW THIS UP!”

The recording ended in a burst of simulated static. The man – Alex – immediately pulled a piece of paper, folded and sealed with a red wax bearing a “TM” logo, out of his jacket and delivered it to Josh. “If you could just read that aloud, please?”

Completely and utterly baffled, Josh broke the seal and unfolded the paper. “‘Clean your half of this bathroom,” he read out. “‘Cleanest bathroom half wins. You have one hour. Your time starts now.’” He blinked, then looked up at Alex. “Clean – what? How?”

“All the information’s on the task,” Alex replied calmly, starting up a timer on his iPad.

Josh facepalmed into the paper. “Seriously? You’re going to be like this?”

“Well well well – looks like we’re going head to head on this one, Josh!” James said, with perhaps more enthusiasm than the situation warranted. “And I plan to win – puppet-man! Get me a cabbage and a red dress.”

#dontoffendthebees #merry xmas #christmas fic #xmas fic #fanfic #taskmaster #saw #okay first things first #yes that is Josh Widdicombe and James Acaster #no I didn't pick them because they host Hypothetical together I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THAT XD #I picked them because Josh is everyone's favorite bullied champion #and James just one of my favorite British comedians in general #and come on his season (7) is one of the best of the series #I probably had a lot more fun than I should have imagining this scenario in everyone's voices #I hope you do too XD #queued

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mastomysowner · 1 year

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Okay, maybe I’ll get roasted for this, but I still have to tell the truth: I can’t stand Dr. Hiriluk. First of all, because he believes that the “do not harm” principle does not apply to him, but let’s start from the beginning.

Robbery and arson are strange signs that a good guy has come into your house, but mmkay, maybe he’s like Robin Hood - stealing from the rich to heal the poor, like that. There’s also the apocryphal Hippocratic oath, where there is a phrase "may the gods curse the one who heals for free".

Wait, what’s an all-purpose drug? Is it like an all-purpose cleaner?

Take this pill of rabbit's dung,

It's been really well done!

It's much healthier than honey

Though it doesn't taste so fine.

And although it isn't sweet,

And some people die from it,

Those who manage to survive

Live a long and healthy life!

Come again? He was testing his drug on people without even knowing how to administer it? Did he know the dosage? He didn't even know what kind of disease the patient had. If he wanted to help him, he could have just left the syringe with the family.

Maybe the drug should've been administered via an enema? For some reason he didn't want to try it on himself, I wonder why.

Annnnnnd... It was the last time we saw this family or heard about it. Hiriluk wasn’t shown to subsequently wonder what happened to them or try to make amends, so the father's ultimate fate remains unknown. Looks like the anime makers also thought it was kinda wrong.

But, as far as I remember, they didn’t change this scene.

What Kureha said doesn’t mean “about a hundred people”, it’s 何百人, hundreds of people. I honestly don’t know what else to say.

But when he meets Chopper later in this chapter, Hiriluk will do a really noble and brave deed, I mean it sincerely.

Whyyy did he feel the need to ruin everything after such an inspiring scene?

Why is he like that with his friend? What did Chopper do wrong to him?

He doesn't even deny that Chopper could've died. I always crack up at how they reconciled after fight, but Hiriluk never apologized, this is a special kind of funny XD

But still, after this incident, Chopper was truly happy during the year he was Hiriluk’s accomplice apprentice.

I can hardly say what's going on in this frame, but Chopper seems to have returned the sentiment. In fairness, the guards here are still far from them, and Chopper could’ve turned into his giant form and throw Hiriluk far, far away, just like he did to him. A good joke is funny on any day...

But still they could only be together for one year.

It’s a heartbreaking scene, I don't feel like blaming Hiriluk, because it caused him a great deal of pain... But wouldn't it be more sparing to prevent Chopper from becoming too attached and keep him at a distance from the start than to painfully tear him off later on?

It amazes me how Kureha is worried about how Chopper will feel, but doesn't understand that if his only friend in the world suddenly hates him and drives him away like everyone else has done before (and breaks his promise to never ever shoot at him, btw), it will cause him much more serious trauma.

The same thing happened later in One Piece Film: Red when Shanks took the blame for destroying the island in order to save Uta from guilt and left her. Did he really think that it would be easier for her to survive that her closest person in the whole world massacred the population of an entire island, and then betrayed and abandoned her?

Anyway...

Because of all of this, this motivational speech makes me think “Wow, this guy really has a nerve, I even envy that confidence”. In Chopper’s case, people were saving their lives (at least, so they thought). In Hiriluk’s case, it was basically the same.

Interestingly, people didn’t resent him...

...They'd think twice before saying this if they knew what Hiriluk would do to them if they stood in his way (just stood, in the literal sense of the word).

#dr hiriluk #tony tony chopper #one piece #Op meta #one piece meta #пионер всегда говори правду люди это любят

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nonbinarylocalcryptid · 5 months

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MAG8 - Burned Out

I don't Know where to start with this one. Construction guy has beef with spooky tree. Statement of Jonny Sims, regarding worldbuilding within his horror podcast. Hm, both seem like good ways to aproach it.

It has a lot of stuff going on ngl

Quotesssssss:

"There was a knock at the door, and the feeling abruptly vanished. I was cold again, lying on the bare floor. I struggled to my feet as the knock came again. My hand shook as I opened it. By now I didn’t know what to expect. Would it be Raymond again? Agnes? Or some other thing to announce the end of my sanity.

What I did not expect was a Catholic priest." - Ivo Lensik, March a3th 2007

The statement it's creepy and mysterious and then, pum, Catholic priest. Why is it so funny?

"As I stood there in the cold, my eyes fell on the tree. That creepy, damn tree." - Ivo "I had beef with a tree" Lensik

"Ah, head trauma and latent schizophrenia – the ghost’s best friends. Aside from excessive indulgence in psychoactive drugs, it seems to me that there is simply no better way to make contact with the spirit world." - Jon Sims, April 8th 2016

Joooon, why are you so mean? xD

"There doesn’t seem to be any print evidence of what happened to the house; no news stories or similar regarding the fire. But one resident did provide a photograph of the house in flames." - Also Jon

this bit is so, so funny, like, that resident really said "yeah we didn't call the firefighters but hey, I took a photo :D"

Small review:

God bless worldbuilding

Spoiler Stuff, go to General Overview if you don't want to read it:

Well, Ivo Lensik's father wasn't schizophrenic, he just happen to know Michael a bit too well I guess

General overview:

Vibe: wut

Horror: spooky, but not too much, I may be wrong

Audio: nice

Humour: Jon being, someone throwing hands with a tree

Score: 10/10

#tma shitpost #tma #jon sims #jon sims being jon sims #mag 8 #tma review

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after-nine-at-the-oasis · 3 months

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Abbott Elementary Episode 4: Smoking!! I lowkey forgot Abbott aired last night till I saw a clip of it on YouTube earlier, I believe lol. I watched it earlier today and did not liveblog it, but I'm here to talk about it a bit now!

Not much though, because it's late and I had a show tonight, and more tomorrow and Saturday lol.

The fact that they were discouraging substances while all actively using substances is hilarious xDDD It's not where I was expecting that to go lol! Idk what I was expecting, but not that xD

I'm glad it really talked about how broken the system is. I hope that kid doesn't get suspended <3.

Also the jokes the kids made about their vices were wild 💀. That dust bowl was out of control XDD Iconic all around though lol

I'm glad Jacob decided to give up vaping lol, good for him :') <3. Out of all of them his was honestly the most actually harmful lol.

Even though I don't love the detail that he vapes (mostly because you'd think being against it would be one of his many liberal policies lol), I really love that it brought back that smoking comment from the pilot!! Also I can totally spin this into a vices from deep anxiety thing which is lovely lol. Also the air bit was hilarious xD

Anyway they're all idiots but I do love them all lol <33

Also Janine was wild with that teacher lol 💀. I do think there were some things she was right about (like. the literal education parts lol) but dang girl xD love that the sub did not care at all lol

Unrelated but I love Jacob immediately blaming Morton for the smoking lol xD

Anyway seeing them all being chill at the end was great xD. Like Barbara trying the oil, Jacob quitting, etc lol. Good for them :).

This episode caught me off guard a bit, especially since I don't use substances, but I kinda like that, once again! This season is really throwing me off my game in the best way possible - we all need to be made uncomfortable sometimes to learn stuff :). This episode it wasn't too much, because I don't disrespect anyone who uses drugs (of the safe kind), but since I don't it's still a view into the other side.

Also Gregory's was so him xD. Honestly all of them lol - Janine's makes so much sense in hindsight (also Gregory's comment to her about like "Did you smoke last night" 💀 XDD iconic lol), Melissa's (and her smoking background - which by the way, the comments about that were funny too lol) made sense, Barbara's was- yeah xD, her lol, we basically already knew about Ava xD. And of course Jacob's is a callback lol! And it does kinda make sense for him, even if I thought he would know. I mean hey, we do things we know are bad all the time lol, and nobody can resist everything. Also I think I'm in partial denial because I don't want him to have gone through what it puts you through lol xD. Anyway, they were all super accurate :D.

I loved this episode!! I thought it was really great and I'm so excited for the next one :D. I am also utterly terrified :). Help me please :'). The title and description are scaring me and I swear to goodness they better be a mislead. I think they probably are but still xD.

Don't break them up please I need them lol

Also I'll just pretend it never happened anyway xD

Oh dang I probably won't be able to see that episode live either- eh we'll deal with that later.

So yeah! I loved the episode :D. I thought it was really great and super interesting :). I'm excited for the next one!

This has been my review for. . .

Abbott Elementary, Season 3, Episode 4: Smoking

It was really good :)). I'm really excited to see the next one but y'all I am so scared lol.

I'll be back next week for my review of. . .

Abbott Elementary, Season 3, Episode 5: Breakup

See you guys then!!!

#abbott elementary #ae #oasis's ae chatter #abbott elementary 3x04 #it's gonna be the choir it's gonna be the choir it's gonna be the choir it's gon-#xD #anyway!!#as I said I just did a show (like two hours ago lol) and I have two more ahead soon so I'm gonna head out xD #gonna eat and then go to bed lol #get some rest y'all :))#I love you all :DD ❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!#byeeee :))) 🥰🥰🥰🥰 <33!!!!

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phagechildon · 2 years

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Soo that darker themed Sasamiya/Kagihira Halloween idea? It’s a thriller slasher type, so naturally, warnings for violence, blood, and such. It’s rated M for mature. A classic horror movie type deal XD It’s not written out like a story, just my ideas, most of them more detailed - the outline of it basically XD Past tense and present tenses are all mixed in whoops. I’d write it but it’d be super long and I need to focus on my Sasamiya fic Haze x.x

They go to a pumpkin patch for Halloween. There’s a corn maze for children and it’s packed, so they go to the hedge maze which is an oddly long walk from everything else. The hedges are pretty tall, even Sasaki and Kagiura can’t see over the edge when they jump (or with Hirano sitting on his shoulders).

Screams are heard throughout the maze, making them uneasy. They chalk it up to just being Halloween gags, but then a hedge comes up between them, pairing Miyano and Kagiura together and Sasaki with Hirano. The sound of chainsaws go off right after, nearing them. Sasaki tries to jump the hedge, but gets badly cut by barbed wire that’s inside the fake bush. Taking a closer look, they see not only barbed wire, but also glass, knives, razor blades, etc, making it impossible to climb or even try to fit through. All the hedges have this.

With terror for themselves and each other, the chainsaws grow even closer, making them realize if they used real blades that cut Sasaki’s hand and knee up pretty badly, those were probably real chainsaws with crazy people controlling them.

In sync, the chainsaw men turn the corners and into the group’s view at the same time, hardly giving them any time to reach as they make a mad dash for them. Miya and Hirano try to tell the the “actors” that they want to leave and that this isn’t funny, but they don’t listen.

Kagi grab’s Miya’s wrist and pulls him out of the way, seeing the man plunge the chainsaw right into the hedge where he’d just been standing. If he hadn’t moved Miya, Miya would’ve been impaled They all run, Kagi pulling Miya along while Sasaki and Hirano had a similar experience.

All of them hope and pray everyone’s safe, and that their friends keep their boyfriend’s safe. When the guy pursuing Kagi and Miya catches up, they notice he no longer has the chainsaw, but a sword instead. The chainsaw must’ve gotten stuck and broke because of the hedge and all the metal/sharp things in there, which is good for them but now they have to figure out how to disarm him. However Miya’s only good at running short distances, so he’s starting to falter. Kagi’s super athletic so he’s kinda frustrated that Miya’s holding him back from finding Hirano, but would never leave him (he’d never leave anyone behind, especially a friend). Instead he makes Miya hop on his back once they gain enough distance, giving him a piggyback ride until he feels like he can run for a bit again (much to Miya’s absolute frustration).

Hirano and Sasaki are fairing a little better, but Sasaki’s the one that is starting to lag behind as Hirano is more athletic. Their guy still has his chainsaw, and both agree they have to figure out how to disarm/disable it because Sasaki won’t last much longer. A risky plan that may result in one getting hurt (not too bad cause they still have a longggg night), they manage to disarm the guy and even pin him (Hirano doing most of the pinning and questioning. Imagine him sitting on him, grasping his shirt, fist ready to punch him in the face again(?) )). They hear voices and sounds so Sasaki cautiously takes a peak around the corner, only for the maze to shift (which they learned the maze is always shifting) and blocks them off from each other. Hirano tries to pry info from the guy, but all he’s doing is laughing over and over again, pissing him off. He punches him a few times, but he’s still laughing. Searching he finds rope, unnerving him, but uses it to tie him up. There’s a lot of rope, duck tape, zip ties, etc, along with what looks like drugs of some sort in pre prepped needles. He throws a rope and knife over to Sasaki to use if need be, and they both are forced to go their separate ways

Hirano runs into Kagi and Miya, glad to see they’re okay (though Miya looks exhausted, cheeks completely flushed red and panting hard), and manages to reassure him that Sasaki has a weapon to protect himself with now, all they have to do is find him.

Along the way, Miya spots a hole in one of the hedges, and upon closer inspection, sees a car. Hopeful, and wanting to do something useful (feeling useless), he very very cautiously goes in, having the other knife Hirano stole from the guy. A little ways in, Miya hears insane laughter and Kagihira freaks out, meaning there’s another psycho there. They don’t say anything to him, probably not wanting to give it away that Miya’s in the hole, so Miya keeps going, trying to figure out what to do when he did make it out to get help for everyone. When he finally peaks out, he sees a few cars, only for his hair to be violently grabbed and pulled by it. Miya shouts, one hand instinctively moving up to hold the attacker’s wrist while the other swings the knife around. Someone kicks him in the head after he feels the knife hitting something that felt like someone’s leg (and he’s horrified before disoriented). He tries to recover quickly, managing to get up and turn only for his hair to be grabbed again, something poking his neck. Fire rages inside his body as he’s injected with something, and with adrenaline he swings the knife again, this time it getting stuck. As he’s passing out, he sees it in someone’s leg, not too deeply and starts losing consciousness.

On the other side of the hedge, back with Kagihira, there’s two people going at them. They manage to knock one out, and they think they got the second only for them to trick them and lunge up at Hirano with a shard of glass. Kagi pushes Hirano out of the way, getting stabbed in the side, and in a blind rage Hirano attacks the other guy, almost hurting him too badly when Kagi stops him. His faltering voice makes Hirano panic and go back to his side, his mom mode coming out as he quickly takes off his jacket and manages to use it to wrap around the wound.

“Why the hell would you jump infront of the glass you idiot!!”

“Because… I didn’t want to see you get hurt,” Kagi smiled warmly, his bloody hand cuffing Hirano’s cheek. Realizing what he’s done, he apologizes profusely while Hirano angrily pulls the fabric tighter, making the wound hurt on purpose.

“And what made you think I wanted to see you hurt, dumbass!!” Hirano is of course very worried for Kagi but doesn’t know what else he can do aside from wrapping the wound tightly. He calls for Miya, asking if he’s found the exit, but the silence is so unnerving he goes to the hole, seeing Miya gone. There’s something at the very end of the maze on the ground. Taking out his phone, not wanting to leave Kagi alone who can’t lean down, he goes to picture mode (no cell service obviously) and zooms in, seeing it’s the knife he gave Miya with what may be blood on and around it.

Panicking even more, Hirano’s now stuck with the choice of leaving Kagi injured and by himself, or going to find Miya who may have run away and could be fine.

The man drags Miya to a place where there’s a tripod set up, asking the viewers what he should do to his newest victim (while tying and gagging him), creepily calling him a beauty and such, being really gross and inappropriate. It’s revealed this is all being streamed, this whole “event,” and while the guy waits for people’s responses on what he should do to Miya (mostly sexual and mutaliting things), the two fangirls who always show up with Sasamiya accidentally walk into view (they sadly got dragged into this XD). The man tries to “scare” them off, but they obviously recognize Miya and manage to make the guy chase after them.

Sasaki hears people screaming and peaks around the corner since the screams are going further away, and his blood runs cold seeing Miya tied up and gagged. He runs over, mortified, unable to wake him. He notices the camera set up right infront of him and rages, saying if anyone’s fucking watching that they’re sick pieces of shit and if they had any sense of human decency or emotions they’d call police to come save them, telling them where they are (at such and such farm in the back trapped in the hedge maze). Sasaki’s never lost his cool like this before, but not knowing if Miya’s okay, his life - his world, he spirals into darkness again.

Naturally he unties and ungags Miya and carries him bridal style for a while, hoping beyond hope he’d see the other’s eyes staring into his own when he eventually glanced down. Eventually he can’t hold him like that anymore, and instead moves him so Miya’s on his back (with much difficulty).

Eventually Miya wakes up, completely out of it and drowsy. Sasaki practically collapses on the ground and pulls Miya into his arms, finally taking a long needed break. Miya reveals he can’t see and he’s scared, which makes Sasaki hold him tighter, fearful too but manages to stay calm for Miya’s sake.

Miya manages to convince Sasaki to search again (Sasa was fighting because he wouldn't be able to carry Miya without more rest), saying he trusts him to guide him so he walks slowly behind him, hands tightly holding one another. His eye sight’s getting a little better, seeing dark outlines of things.

The ground underneath Miya is suddenly gone, Miya stepping on something (a trigger trap) that Sasaki missed. Sasaki barely manages to tighten his grip in time, nearly falling in himself. They hear a chainsaw getting close to them, and Miya looks bravely and solemnly into Sasaki’s eyes, telling him to let go.

“You gotta let me go-”

“No-”

“You can’t lift me up and I’ll fall anyway if they kill you! You have to let me go!”

“I am NOT dropping you!!”

“I can’t live knowing I’m the reason you died!!” Miya lets go of the hand that was holding the other’s wrist, making Sasaki slide more inwards as he tightens his grip on Miyano.

“Don’t you fucking let go Yoshikazu, I can’t live in a world without you!!” The sheer tone and roughness surprises Miya, almost wanting to listen to him because he loves Sasaki so much hearing him like this makes him cry. But the chainsaw sound is getting closer, he can hear the footsteps thundering closer.

As hard as it is, Miya gives his best, biggest, warmest smiles that’s filled with all the love within himself, tears falling endlessly. “I love you, Shuumei. I love you so much. Please escape, for me, and find happiness again.” His fingers uncurl from Sasaki’s, the realization in his lover’s face bone chilling. “Thank you for showing me what it’s like to love and be loved.” Thanks to the blood on Sasaki’s hand, Miya slips from his grip. The look of utter devastation as if he was told everyone he ever loved had been violently killed makes Miya lose his composure, only to grow surprised seeing Sasaki coming in after him (narrowly escaping the chainsaw man). He manages to hold Miya’s hand.

“My happiness is you.” Everything goes black.

Miya comes to first, out of it, almost forgetting what happened. He hurts all over, but panics as he realizes Sasaki is lying still. He shakes him. “Sh-Shuumei, Shuumei Wake up! Please, please you have to wake up!!”

Eyes open in such a small slit Miya almost doesn’t realize it. “Mm ake,” Sasaki struggled to mutter, probably trying to say ‘I’m awake.’ His voice is so weak it terrifies Miyano out of his mind.

All the while Hirano helps Kagi walk around, the wound getting worse as he’s losing more and more blood. At some point Kagi staggers, legs giving out, and Hirano stops, knowing anymore will kill him. Naturally the basketball player assures him that he can keep going, even if his voice is fading along with his sight. He’s so pale Hirano starts thinking of the worse possibilities, all of which are too much for him to bear.

Probably more stuff happening to Kagihira, but can’t think of it right now x.x

Half way through Hanzawa and his brothers, who are enjoying the pumpkin patch, hear people whispering and talking about some nightmare level livestream happening and that they should leave. He asks someone if he can look and goes cold in fear when he sees a guy with a mask kneeling down in front of Miya when he’s unconscious. He grabs the phone from the stranger and looks through the comments, seeing other links to other videos, the previews all showing people, some he knew, in the maze. Just as he reaches for his phone to call Hirano, Sasaki shows up, and he watches and listens, learning he’s at the same place he is, but hasn’t seen a hedge maze advertised. Pulling the stream up on his phone, him and his brothers find the maze, call the cops, and enter, wanting to help as many people as they can. They’re smart and bring stuff to protect them in too.

It’s either sick psychos coming together or a cult. They spent months making the hedge maze and one of the owners of the pumpkin patch are one of them, wanting money and fame from the streams. Though later they claim they had no idea there was even a hedge maze there and that they’re horrified to learn about what happened!

Naturally everyone lives cause I don’t like killing characters, and they have a lot of trauma and healing but they live happily ever after with bonds far stronger than before~

#sasamiya #hirakagi #phage writes #sasaki to miyano #hirano to kagiura #tw: blood #tw: violence

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