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meltwonu · 4 years

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| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 | [CHAPTER 12]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, sex toys, overstimulation, tiniest mentions of daddy!kink, a lil bit of a filler chapter!, this is the most btsvt chapter that it’ll ever get so i’m sorry if you dont like that!! 😭😭, a bit of a lighthearted chapter too tbh to ease everyone back into cherry bomb! 💕 I know its been like two fuckin weeks since the last update which is honestly insane to me! I almost couldnt remember where we even left off lmao kdjfhds 😩💕💕 Thank you for being so patient with me and waiting it out while we had two weeks of Monster Mash! Starting Monday, I’m gonna be going back to my normal posting schedule! 💕 have a great rest of the weekend, yall! 🍒

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - ?

“Wait, seriously? You want to work here? But--but I thought you were from out of town?”

Jun’s eyes light up with excitement; fingertips crushing the resume you passed to him moments prior. “Um, well, there was a change of plans… and I’d really like to work somewhere where I have a friend! If you guys are still hiring, that is...” You reply back meekly.

It’d taken you all morning to write up a resume, blushing a little when you realize most of your income had been from camming. It’d also made you pause for a moment when you realized that it meant Jun would also know your real name too; as well as everyone who came through the diner and all of your coworkers.

“Yeah, of course! I, um, just give me a second to pass this to my manager, okay? I’ll be sure to put in a good word!” Jun shoots you a wink before he turns to leave.

You take the opportunity to sit down at a nearby booth, fishing for your phone to text Seungcheol.

‘I think I might be getting the job!!’

cheollie ✨: oh? Not that I doubted you, but is it confirmed already?

‘Mm… Jun is trying to put in a word for me! But I’m confident!’

cheollie ✨: thats my baby ;)

You hear someone call your name hesitantly, only to find Jun standing a few feet away looking at you sheepishly. “Um, sorry, your name’s on the resume so I figured…”

“Oh! Yeah, it’s fine!” You awkwardly giggle. “I figured writing ‘Cherry’ as my name wouldn’t be too smart when you need to cross-reference my ID if I get the job.” Jun laughs as he takes the seat across from you in the booth, papers in hand.

“Well, I convinced my manager to let me interview you. Told him that if we’d be workin’ together that I’d want to scope you out for myself! He bought it, can you believe it!?” Grinning, he sets your crumpled resume down next to a small stack of papers. “I don’t doubt you’d pull your weight around here but I do have to ask… Why here of all places? I thought your, uh, other job was enough? Or I guess I assumed...” You bite your lip, flip-flopping on whether or not you wanted to let him know exactly what happened that led to your sudden decision.

“Um… There were just some big life changes I had to make on the fly and I’ll be living around here now! I’m trying out some new things… I also figured if I worked with you, then you’d know my schedule the best too! And you seem like a really nice and cool guy.”

Jun nods, smiling back at you.

“You got that right!”

“You’re seriously going to start working there?” Jeongguk raises a brow, cables in hand as he sets up the extra PC in his streaming room. “And the guy working there knows you? That doesn’t bother you?”

Seungcheol laughs under his breath, “Yeah and he knows me now too. And knows I’d kick his ass if he tried anything.” You pout from your place in the expensive gaming chair; eyes focused on Jeongguk who shimmies under the desk to start plugging in the cables.

“Well, yeah he does know me, but he’s also one of my regulars and knows the schedules I’ll need, so I think we can trust him!” They both nod and Seungcheol is quick to cross the small room until he’s right behind you.

“He seems like a nice guy though, I don’t think we have to worry.”

Jeongguk slides out from underneath the desk, dusting off his pants as he stands. “And if he does end up being a weirdo, there’s always a place for you at the roller rink!”

Seungcheol rolls his eyes, hands gripping onto the backrest of the chair.

“No.”

“Hey guys, welcome back to Golden Closet Gaming! I’m JK, your regular host! Today, we have a suuuper special guest! Why don’t you introduce yourself, pretty lady~”

You take a deep breath as you lean in close to the mic; somewhat nervous and a little out of your usual element. “Hi everyone~ I’m Cherry! Some of you may know me from, um, the other side of the streaming-sphere but I’m joining my friend today in hopes of boosting our channels together and having a ‘lil bit of fun!!”

Seungcheol sits at the side as he watches the two of you; a small smile painted on his lips at the way the two of you seem to fall into your characters easily despite the somewhat different platforms and influx of different viewers.

The sound of donations and comments pour in a lot quicker than Jeongguk, himself, is used to; eyes wide and eyebrows raised as he pauses to watch them flood the screen.

sleepy_wonu has donated $100

xcaliburDK has donated $100

sleepy_wonu: never thought i’d be donating here but here we are

xcaliburDK: i was always a silent watcher but u kno i had to donate for my favorite girl!

seokGENIE: i feel like i’m entitled to something for taking your shift so i wont be donating, sorry pretty girl

j__min: can’t believe this kid got a collab with you before i did :(

j__min has donated $200

dtsug__a: i dont normally watch streams either but im curious

Jeongguk laughs, still in disbelief as the donations continue to pour in from a combination of your viewers and his. He always made a decent amount from his viewers but he couldn’t deny the pull you had from your viewers as well. “Wow, um okay, my donations are adding up a lot quicker than they usually do. That’s… Hey, whaddya say to streaming with me regularly?” He jokes.

A shy laugh bubbles up your throat; ears and cheeks burning hot at the idea. You had never collabed with any other streamer before and despite your initial hesitance and unsureness, you too, were shocked to find how well the two of you were doing without your usual content.

“Erm, I’m not very good at gaming though… I don’t think your viewers would like it very much...”

seokGENIE: thats ok jk sucks at gaming too, it wouldnt be too different

j__min: lmao fkjdhf

dtsug__a: does he get roasted often on this channel? If so i’ll be tuning in more often

dtsug__a has donated $100

dtsug__a: for your troubles, pretty gal

“On second thought, let’s let this be a special occasion, huh? Maybe collabs for the holiday, Cherry?” Jeongguk grumbles and Seungcheol has to bite his lip to keep in his laughs from his side of the small room. You start to feel more and more comfortable at the lighthearted atmosphere; tucking a stray hair behind your ear before you lean in towards the mic again.

“Ah! Speaking of, don’t forget to tune into my camshow tomorrow~! JK and I will be gaming on there as well but… with some added fun to match my channel~! 21 and over only~” You blink at the computer screen, still a little unused to the idea that you weren’t technically being filmed. Although, it was a nice change for once; not needing to be all done up for a show and simply just talking to your viewers and reading comments.

sleepy_wonu: is dom daddy gonna be on the show too?

“Dom daddy? Oh you mean Se---”

“Yes! Kind of!” You cut off, laughing nervously. Nobody knew Seungcheol’s name except for Jun and you were trying to keep as much of him private as possible, until he was ready. “In a sense, he’ll be there! You guys will just have to tune in to find out!”

Jeongguk laughs into his own mic, scooting in closer to his desk as he loads up the game.

“I think that’s enough chatting for now, huh? Let’s get started! Tonight we’ll be playing Phasmophobia! We’ll be playing something more lighthearted on Cherry’s channel, as she requested. So tonight we’ll be playing something I picked out. You ready, baby?”

Seungcheol narrows his eyes, quietly taking a sip of his water.

“Ready when you are!”

“I gotta say, sweetheart, for someone who doesn’t play video games too often, you’re not too bad.” Seungcheol comments, nodding his head in amazement as the three of you exit Jeongguk’s PC room. He’d had a hard time keeping in his laughs as he watched from the side and he had to admit, you were even cuter when you were outside of your usual element.

“I have to agree with hyung, but maybe it was also the adrenaline and screaming that kept you goin’.”

The two males share a laugh as you pout and plop down onto Jeongguk’s living room sofa. “Hey, how were the numbers for tonight, by the way?” You ask quietly.

“Honestly? I think we made almost triple of what my channel usually sees. I know I don’t really make a ton off of my streams since I don’t really do anything, like, crazy but shit… Even I’m shocked at how much we made.”

Seungcheol’s lip ease into a smirk; Jeongguk really had no idea how much the two of you had made off of a couple videos alone.

“We still have one more stream to do and then we can just pool up the money and split it down the middle!”

Jeongguk nods, stretching as he sits himself down onto the other end of the sofa. “I’ll bring my spare PC stuff so we can set up a little early tomorrow, if that’s cool with you two? Maybe have some food before we get started too ‘cause god knows I’m gonna be starving.” You look to Seungcheol who nods and checks his phone for the time.

“Yeah, we need to set up the cameras and lighting a little differently too so we’ll probably start earlier. Just text me before you drive over so we know when to expect you.”

You yawn next to Jeongguk; adrenaline having worn off as the tiredness finally sets in. “It’s so weird, usually I’m only just starting my stream right around this time but I’m so exhausted now...” Seungcheol’s eyes from cute crescents as he smiles down at you, stepping closer as he goes in to smooth down your hair.

“You really were screaming a lot, to be fair. How about we head home and you can sleep in the car?”

“Okay~”

Seungcheol lets you sleep in on Saturday morning, watching as your chest rises and falls with soft breaths.

He takes a moment to think over the last few weeks of his life and he can’t help the disbelieving expression that crosses his features when he realizes just how much had changed over the course of just weeks.

When the two of you had met, he wasn’t expecting much. He expected the two of you to hang out for a few days before you went home and forgot he even existed outside of your camshows and the comments section. But now that so much had happened between the two of you, Seungcheol felt a deeper connection to you and felt the need to protect you even moreso than ever.

He sees you shift slightly, sleepy eyes blinking open as you peer up at him. “Good morning, sweetheart.”

“Mm… g’morning ‘cheol…”

You grimace sleepily at how hoarse your voice sounds, “Ew, I sound so… gross.”

Seungcheol moves to get out of bed, leaning in to kiss your forehead before he shuffles towards the bathroom. “I’m going to wash up but you can stay in bed if you like. I’ll make you some tea for your throat, okay? We have a long day ahead of us and I don’t think you wanna sound like that later tonight.”

Nodding sleepily, you lay back down as you yawn and let the sleep take over once again.

“Are you really sure ‘bout this?” Jeongguk takes a bite of his pizza as he watches Seungcheol pull the desk closer to the bed.

“What do you mean?” You ask; readjusting the light that was closest to the younger male. “Like, I dunno, I’ve never been on a cam show like this so… I mean do I have to do anything different?” You laugh lightly as you go in to pat Jeongguk on the shoulder.

“No, just be you. And we went over it already earlier, the only thing that’s different is going to be me! No weird tricks or anything, I promise.”

Seungcheol places another monitor on the tabletop, grunting as he goes. “Yeah, and in all honesty, I would hate to have to watch you get off, ‘Guk.”

“Oh shut up, hyung. You say that like I don’t know what you’re packin’ under those sweats. I think it’d only be fair! Just two bros getting to know each other.” Seungcheol pretends to gag just as you double over in laughter. “No, absolutely not, ‘Guk. And also, nobody told you to watch those videos!”

Jeongguk pauses, lips pressing into a firm line. “You right, you right…”

You leave to get changed just as Jeongguk starts to help Seungcheol set up the last few bits of equipment. He leans in close to the older male, eyes glancing around the space to make sure you were completely out of earshot. “Hey, hyung, honest question.”

“Sure.”

“Are you really okay with all this?” Confusion crosses Seungcheol’s features as he raises an eyebrow at the younger male. “What’s ‘this’ exactly, ‘Guk?”

“Y’know, her living here and you camming all of a sudden, among everything else really… And the question if you’re in love with her which, by the way, we still all know that you are.”

A blush coats Seungcheol’s skin, fingertips almost losing grip of the camera he was about to mount to the desktop. “Listen, yes, okay, I do… like her a lot. But she’s going through a lot right now too and I don’t want to freak her out either. There’s a lot of life changes we’re going through so I’m just going to ...wait.”

“You’re a good man, hyung.”

“Hi everyone!”

You wave to the camera, winking and blowing a kiss to the camera propped up between the two monitors on the table. “I know, this setup is a little wild and not my normal but this is part two of my collaboration with Golden Closet Gaming! Do you want to introduce yourself to those who missed our other stream?” You turn to Jeongguk who nods; this time a little nervous as he stares directly into the camera.

He’d said he was okay with being filmed since he wasn’t actually part of any sexual acts, but he still found himself a little camerashy now that the two of you were live.

Seungcheol sat directly behind the monitors and cameras; his phone open to your cam show to watch from a different angle.

“Ah, hello! I’m JK of Golden Closet Gaming! I’m a friend of Cherry’s and no we won’t be fuckin’.” Jeongguk ends with an innocent smile that has you holding back your laughter.

therealchan99: i dont think dom.cheol would like that very much anyway

universe_WZ has donated $100

universe_WZ: unless he’s into watching

dom.cheol: no

alphagyu97: oh shit hes back

angelhan: huh, so hes not there?

“Oh, he is! He’s behind the camera~” You gesture beyond the camera to where Seungcheol sits and he leans over to quickly wave upside down in front of the camera to prove his existence.

j__min: ah, of course~ we know your daddy would never let you play with anyone else~

j__min: he likes you too much ;)

emerald.tae: oh? also hi new watcher!!!

emerald.tae: ur videos were great!!

emerald.tae has donated $200

therealchan99: im gonna need to start fighting ppl for ur attention i swear

gentleman_josh95: implying u had it

chwenon: yooooooo lmao

“You guuuuys, be nice! Just for that, I’m gonna be sending you a special private pic, okay ‘therealchan99’? You guys pick on him too much!” You pout.

therealchan99: hahaahhAHhhahaHAAHAA FUCKIN LOSERS SUCK ON THAT

tangerine_kwan: bruh

chwenon: damn guess we should can it

You respond to a few more comments as Jeongguk sits by and watches the way you interact with your viewers. He also takes note that you had a donation minimum before you started actually doing anything on your channel and that you’d already hit it pretty quickly.

“Okay! I think we should start now, huh? Oh, I should explain what’s going on!” You giggle cutely, settling into your space on the bed. “So JK and I will be playing this stilt man game! We have to get our character to the finish line without falling or the level restarts! JK has to get to level 30 and I have to get to level 20 and whoever reaches their goal first, wins!”

“I have a higher level to reach ‘cause our skillsets are different and we all know I’d smoke her if we both had to reach the same level.” Jeongguk grins.

seokGENIE: sure

seokGENIE has donated $69

sleepy_wonu has donated $100

hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $100

“And the reason why ‘dom.cheol’ is behind the camera is because...” You pause, eyes twinkling with playfulness as you stare directly into the lens. “In order to get me to do my best, he’ll be controlling a special toy I’m wearing~ Hehe, if my character falls, he’ll raise the vibration setting each time as punishment and leave it on until I cum…”

“Which we are assuming will be a lot. Unfortunately, no medic on standby.” Jeongguk jokes. Seungcheol rolls his eyes as he laughs from behind the camera.

“We have a safeword, don’t we, sweetheart?” You nod in response, “Mmhmm!”

“Let’s get it!”

It takes all of four stages before your character falls for the first time.

Seungcheol turns the vibrating panties on and you immediately jolt as you try to keep your character upright on screen. “Oh, f-fuck!”

kitty_junjun: uh ohhhh it begins

artist8hao: i don’t think she’s gonna last.. babygirl is so sensitive, she’ll probably cum soon

xcaliburDK: i’m giving it until level 6 before she cums

emerald.tae: oh are we placing bets

“Noooo~ Don’t place bets on me, I’m weak!” You whine; already squirming as the vibrations attack your clit. Seungcheol grins from in front of you as Jeongguk laughs from your side, already on level 7 on his own screen.

You had to admit, it was a little weird for someone else to be in the room with you while Seungcheol basically used a toy on you, but the younger male seemed to not care about it at all. Although, he had already seen most of you and Seungcheol at this point.

Your fingertips are shaky on the keyboard and computer mouse; already fearing the way Seungcheol’s eyes almost become darker the longer you struggle.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart? Is the game too hard?”

“A-ah, n--no, it’s not that b-bad…” Squirming, you grind down a little harder onto the bed just as your character falls on screen and Seungcheol raises the setting to the second highest in the blink of an eye. “Ngh, fuh---fuck!”

“Uh oh~ Should I slow down to let you catch up?” Jeongguk teases.

“N-no, I can beat y-you!”

The donations and comments pour in as you struggle to keep your calm and get your character to the finish line; letting out a sigh of relief as you finally enter the fifth level. You let out a choked sob as you already feel your panties starting to stick to you like a second skin from how wet you were getting and Seungcheol can’t help but chuckle.

“You know, you’re technically allowed to cum whenever you want. It’ll just… slow you down, is all.” Grinning, he watches as you look beyond the camera towards him as you pout.

“But I--I wanna win!” You cry; palms clammy as you try to rush through the fifth stage, only for your character to fall almost immediately. “Nooo~”

Seungcheol clicks the vibrator to its highest setting and your body goes rigid as the vibrations wreck your body. You start to grind against the toy as you chase your orgasm and forget about the game almost completely. In a perfect world, Seungcheol would have his cock snug between your walls, but instead you clench around emptiness as you crave his cock.

artist8hao: ah shes already cumming lol

seokGENIE: on level 5? Fuck

universe_WZ: her cute lil cunt cant take it, poor babygirl

seokGENIE has donated $50

emerald.tae has donated $75

alphagyu97: cum baby, u kno u wanna

alphagyu97 has donated $75

A small choked whine is all you can manage before you do cum; eyes clamped shut and fingers wrapped tight around the computer mouse as the waves of pleasure crash down onto your body. Donations and comments flood the side of the screen from a combination of your viewers and Jeongguk’s as they watch your face contort in pleasure.

“Ah, sweetheart, you’re really falling behind~ JK is going through the stages so quickly while you’re sitting there cumming~” Seungcheol teases. He licks his lips, simultaneously wishing you were sitting on his cock while you played your game.

That’d have to be for another time, he thinks.

It takes a second for Seungcheol to turn the toy off and your body immediately slumps forward as you catch your breath. “Ngh, d-damn it…” You grimace when you re-adjust yourself and find your panties soaking wet.

“I’m already on level 17, babe. You gotta catch up!”

You can only groan in response, flexing your clammy fingers before you try to focus on your own screen again.

kitty_junjun: oho looks like our princess is focused now

tangerine_kwan: u got this baby

j__min: show ‘em who’s boss, babygirl

You tune out the sounds of the comments and donations as you manage to get yourself to level eight without falling, but level nine proves to be just a little too hard as your character falls and Seungcheol turns the vibrator back on to its lowest setting again.

“Be careful, baby. Wouldn’t want to fall behind again would you?”

Seungcheol feels his cock throbbing in his sweats as he watches you bite your lip. And for the first time all night, he wishes that Jeongguk would just win and go home so that he could have his own private time with you.

“I’m on level 22 already. D’you think she can even catch up?” Jeongguk teases. He spares you a side glance, taking in your form slumped closer to the table as you try to fight the vibrations.

Your body was already extremely sensitive from your first orgasm and you quickly losing your confidence as you struggled to keep your character upright. If you came even just one more time, there was no way that you’d be able to beat Jeongguk with how quickly he was going through the stages.

therealchan99: she’s cumming just as quickly as JK is getting thru the stages hfdsf

gentleman_josh95: shes so cute when she cums tho

angelhan has donated $50

angelhan: thats the real prize angel

“T-thank you…” You whimper out, fingertips twitching against the keyboard and mouse as you focus your attention to the game to the best of your ability.

You manage to get to level ten with no more issues just as Jeongguk gets to level 25 and you let out an exasperated sigh as your character falls over again. “Uh oh~ I think I’m gonna win!” Jeongguk cheers; giddiness washing over him as he works to get to the end.

“Nooo~ That’s n-not, ah, fair!” Whining, you grip the mouse tighter as Seungcheol raises the setting on the toy again, watching as you rub your thighs together at the feeling.

hoshi_tiger_xx: sadly nothings fair in the gaming world babe

hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $50

dtsug__a has donated $50

dtsug__a: cute for thinkin so tho

“I don’t th--think I can, hah, c-catch up...” You moan. Your character on screen falls over one more time and all you hear is Seungcheol’s small ‘tsk’ under his breath as he sets the vibrator to the highest setting and leaves it there.

It doesn’t take long before the vibrations prove to be too much for you and you let go of the keyboard and computer mouse as your hands ball up into fists on top of the table.

The pleasure washes over you in sharp pin pricks; small whines and whimpers falling from your lips as your eyes completely clamp shut.

Jeongguk lets out a surprised noise at the way the donations and comments almost make the screen lag and for the first time, his character on screen falls over at his split second loss of focus.

“Ah, fuh--fuck!” You start to squirm once the pleasure starts to bleed into overstimulation and Seungcheol is quick to respond, “You’re gonna cum one more time as punishment for giving up, sweetheart.”

alphagyu97: ooo she's in troubleeee

gentleman_josh95: ahhh daddy still has to punish you after all

seokGENIE: damn is this what this channels abt? this is hot

artist8hao: babygirl always misbehaves

chwenon: she seems to like it too much 😏

dtsug__a: hooooo shit, thats hot

“It’s n-not my f-fault, hah, JK is j-just good at g-gaming...” You mumble.

Jeongguk manages to get to level 30 within the time you sit and grind against the toy; small noises of excitement falling from his lips as he cheers for himself!

“Aww, poor baby. Maybe you’ll focus a bit better next time, hmm?”

You nod frantically as a small tear slips down your cheek and your lips part in a breathy moan. “God, I--I’m c--cumming!”

Your body locks up, ears ringing as you cum one more time. Seungcheol wishes he could work you through it; hands massaging your skin as you take your pleasure or thrusting his cock into you as he chased his high with you.

Instead he watches from across you as your body twitches as your face contorts in unadulterated bliss, licking his lips the entire time with images of what could’ve been dancing behind his eyelids.

Jeongguk watches as the donations far surpass what the two of you made on his channel; brows disappearing into his poofy head of hair. “Wow, uh, y’all seem to really like it when she gets punished, huh?” He mutters under his breath.

“Don’t you?” Seungcheol teases.

“Truuuuue.”

A garbled moan has both of their attention on you as you try to shy away from the toy still vibrating against your overly sensitive clit. “Ah, ‘m too sen--sensitive now...” You cry.

Seungcheol turns the toy off completely as your chest heaves in deep breaths; pouting at the fact he wasn’t able to enter the camera frame to take care of you.

Jeongguk grimaces slightly at the way your body sways in tiredness next to him, unsure of what to do next now that he’d won.

“Haha, um, medic?”

#cherrybomb!cheol #seungcheol smut #scoups smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #scoups scenarios #scoups imagines #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol scenarios #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #svt fic #seventeen fic #scoups #seungcheol

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sherlollydramoine · 4 years

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Zara’s Red Carpet Debut

This is just a follow up to the Uncle Rami piece I wrote yesterday. I had an idea and I ran with it. Thank you to @diasimar for the ideas and suggestions. This is just tooth rotting fluff, so watch out, if you don’t already have it, you might end up with a case of diabetes after reading this.

Word Count: 2185

Zara was Rami’s absolute favorite child. She wasn’t his child of course but of all of his nieces and nephews, okay he only has one niece, this child was his favorite. So when awards season rolled around and he was once again invited to attend the Oscars he instantly knew exactly who he wanted to take as his date.He’d called in a favor to one of his designer friends at YSL, and once his sister had sent him Zara’s measurements, had placed the order for the custom dress. He even had his jacket made to match some of the tiny details of Zara’s dress.

When Zara found out that she was going to be Rami’s date she was so excited that she could barely contain herself and then she firmly reminded him that no outfit was complete with a tiara. He softly chuckled to himself and as soon as she disconnected the line, he immediately went about calling in favors from some jewelry designers until he found one that could create exactly what he was looking for. She was now going to be the proud owner of a real diamond and ruby princess tiara and he was eagerly anticipating her reaction.

The several weeks leading up the event consisted of daily phone calls from Zara reminding him that he better take her to McDonald’s and also that he had to introduce her to Captain America because he is sooooo cute. He rolled his eyes and promised that if he was there that he would ensure a meet up.

His sister flew with Zara out to LA and only stayed a few hours before she had to catch a return flight back home. Rami would be flying with Zara to take her back home in a couple of days, so that Z could also spend some time with Uncle Sami and grandma. Before his sister left she made Rami promise not to let Zara get too bossy and no McDonald’s. Rami just smiled at his sister, crossed his fingers behind his back and lied his ass off much to Z’s delight.

On the big day they had spent most of being groomed and pampered. He had someone come in to do his niece's hair exactly how she wanted it, she got her nails done and was even allowed to wear a little makeup though his sister would ream him for that one later. Little Z was loving every second of the attention that was being lavished on her, but she was quite particular. For one so small she sure knows exactly what she wants and how she wants it, much to the chagrin of the unsuspecting hairstylist.

Other than being a little sassy she was fairly calm throughout the preparation process, even took a nap for her uncle to help prevent any meltdowns later. As it were she was currently full of excess energy. She was such a chatterbox throughout the afternoon asking her hairstylist, the nail tech, and the makeup artist every question she could ever think of to ask and Rami had to intervene a few times when she started sharing personal details about her two favorite uncles. Rami was still an incredibly private person so having details of his life spilled because of his niece’s mouth was embarrassing. It was a risk he was willing to take by taking her along with him tonight.

“What’s that?” Zara asks the hairstylist when she started to mess with the box that Rami had left on the table as he walked away to go get dressed.

“It’s a special surprise Z,” Rami called out through the bedroom door that had been left slightly ajar.

“I wanna know what my surprise is!”she demanded with a pout, one that was so adorable and rivaled that of her two uncles.

“I’ll be out in a second and then you can see. Remember what I told you about tonight?.”

With a dramatic sigh she mumbles out, “Patience.”

“That’s right. Patience. It’s hard I know, but there might be some waiting around tonight and you might get a little bored but remember patience is going to be key.” Rami explains as he emerges from the bedroom wearing just his pants and his dress shirt that was only partially buttoned.

“You can open it now” he tells the stylist, who with a nod opens the heavy box slowly.

Rami visibly flinched when little Z saw what the box contained and let out a piercing, high pitched squeal of delight.

“You remembered! My princess tiara!”

“Of course little one, I wouldn’t forget such an important detail as the princess tiara. According to you no outfit is complete with a tiara. I even have a small one that I’m going to wear tonight pinned to my jacket. It matches yours.”

The stylist reaches into the box and pulls the tiara out so that little miss attitude could inspect it up close.

“Are those real sparklies or just fake ones like my tiaras at home?”

“Z, would I let you go on a red carpet with fake sparklies?”

”I LOVE IT!!!!” she screams again, and everyone in the room flinched.

“This is the glitteriest, sparkliest, prettiest, most awesomest princess tiara in the whole wide world.” She inspects it again, and then hands it to the hairstylist and begs her to hurry up and get it put in place so she can see her reflection in the mirror.

Rami does a little dance inside at Zara’s absolute delight at her surprise. Once the tiara had been put in place and firmly secured Z couldn’t stop staring at her sparkly reflection in the mirror.

“It glitters like a real princess crown and I’m the prettiest princess in the whole wide world,” she rambles.

Rami just laughs and continues trying to fasten the buttons on his shirt, and making sure that everything is properly tucked into place.

After the hairstylist left Uncle Sami stopped by bearing gifts of food and drink for everyone so they could have a little treat together before Rami and Z headed out. Z screamed again at the sight of her other favorite uncle standing there holding a little red box with the golden arched handles.

“Wow, look at you Z you look like a real fairytale princess.”

“I do! Uncle Rami and you are the bestest uncles in the whole wide world!”

Sami sets the bags of food on the table and kneels down to envelop Zara in a hug but she backs away suddenly.

“What’s the matter Z?” he asks, just as Rami steps out of the bedroom straightening his tie.

“I’m all princessy. I don’t want to get messy before I gotta go with Rami. He says it’s not good to be wrinkled when I have to be with famous people.”

Sami just laughs and cocks a brow.

“Z that's not what I said.” Rami says from the doorway of the bedroom.

“Yes it is!”

“No, what I said was that you didn’t want to get all wrinkled before your photos. You better eat up kiddo. I’m going to go get you a towel so that you don’t get any stains on your pretty dress.”

“Get one for you too!” both Sami and Zara said at the same time.

Rami just shook his head as he realized that even his seven year old niece knew how clumsy he could be.

Sami helped set up Z’s food while Rami got the towels wrapped around her so that she couldn’t spill anything on her dress.

“Where’s my chocolate milk? I wanted chocolate milk!” Zara complained loudly, making a pouty face as she looked up at her uncles. Her blue-green eyes a similar shade to her uncles were swimming with unshed tears. She really knows how to get what she wants from her uncles, and they’ve never denied her anything.

“Z we decided that it was probably best for you to have Sprite this time just in case you do spill a little bit. It won’t stain your dress.”

The little one just couldn’t seem to understand exactly what both her uncles were trying to explain to her as she began to let a few crocodile tears roll down her face.

Rami kneels in front of her and places a hand gently on her shoulder.

“Hey-hey. Z don’t cry you’ll ruin your pretty makeup. I promise that after the show you can have all the chocolate milk you want but we don’t want any accidents to ruin your pretty dress.”

She snuffles a little bit as she puts her head on her uncle's shoulder.

“Fine. But I don’t like it,’ she huffs indignantly against Rami’s shoulder.

Rami just releases a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in preparation for a full blown Zara meltdown. Her meltdowns were known to be epic and long-lasting. She’s a stubborn little thing and everyone knows it.

Sami, Rami and Zara finished eating quietly, and with a few minutes to go everyone made their final preparations for the evening.

A knock at the door signaled that it was time for Rami and Zara to head to the car, which they did hand in hand with Zara delightedly singing some pop song.

*ARRIVING AT THE EVENT*

Rami did the best he could to prepare Z for the insanity that was the red carpet. He’d discussed with her how bright and loud that it can get, and if at any time she gets scared to let him know so that he can make arrangements for her to go with his assistant.

Stepping out of the car he immediately began to hear the fans cheering and the flashes began going off. He was used to this but little Z wasn’t. THis was her red carpet debut after all. He turns around and helps Zara out of the car, and with her small hand in his makes his way towards security.

Showing his ID and surrendering his tickets to the man at the entrance, the two of them hand in hand began to make their way down the red carpet. Zara handled the majority of it like a champ.

People yelling his name and wanting his attention, he knew he’d have to stop and do some interviews so he did. But all along the way he would kneel down to Zara’s level when the interviewers were asking him questions.

“So who is this?” one interviewer asked him.

“I don’t know Z, you wanna tell her who you are?” he says from his crouched position next to his niece.

She smiled brightly for the cameras and responded with,”I’m his favorite niece. I’m Zara and I’m seven.”

“You have got to be the luckiest girl on the whole red carpet” the interviewer says.

“I am. I have the best uncle in the whole entire world. He even bought me my tiara which is made up of real sparklies not like the fake ones I have at home.”

“It’s gorgeous Zara. I’m sure it rivals anything that the Queen of England owns. So Zara, who are you wearing tonight?” the interviewer asks.

“Only the best. My uncle called his friend at YSL and they made me this dress. Isn’t it pretty?” she says as she gives a little twirl to demonstrate the swooshiness of the skirt.

“It’s absolutely stunning! You are for sure the best dressed on the whole carpet tonight.” the interviewer says. Rami chuckles and Zara beams proudly.

“So Zara, one of the questions that we’ve been asking everyone tonight is about hidden talents. Do you or your uncle have any hidden talents?”

Zara stops to think for a second before she rambles, “Yeah. I never stop talking and Uncle Rami is the best at burps and Monster Voice.”

Rami looks mildly horrified for a second before trying to intervene with a nervous chuckle.

“Z, I don’t think that’s what she means by hidden talents.”

“Monster voice?” the interviewer questions.

“Yeah. It’s this thing that he does when we play pretend sometimes. He does lots of other voices too but his Monster voice is my favorite. He’ll chase me around doing the monster voice and it’s so scary but really funny. Then when I let him catch me, he tickles me until I can’t breathe. Then I pretend to escape and I run away and he chases me again.”

“Could we hear the Monster voice?” the interviewer asks.

“No, I don’t really think that’s-”

“Please Rami? You do the best voices and I love Monster voice.”

Rami sighs and of course he’s going to do it. He never says no to little Z. He clears his throat and puts on his “Monster face” that goes with Monster voice and pretends to try and attack Z.

“Monster Rami is gonna get you!” he says, while wiggling his fingers at Z, who responds by squealing in delight and pretending to try and run away.

They finish the interview and few more that go quite similarly to how that first one went. All in all Zara was a hit on the red carpet.

Tag List: @xmxisxforxmaybe @free-rami @txmel @r-ahh-mi @itsme690 @ramimedley @safinsscar @ladyr0b0t @youthtea @ramisgirl512 @mrhoemazzello @hissom1933 @spacedustmazzello @sassystrawberryk @ramimalekpan @breadnbutternips @doing-all-write @itslula1991 @warmommy @imnottiredofgettingoveryou @alottanothing @mezzomercury @theultraviolencefan @the-real-ramimalekpeen @hazeleyedbeth @w0lfglrl17 @adoremalek @rawmemalek @lunasasylum @lablanchett @diasimar @zodiyack @sasha--1996 @will-grammer @rami-malek-trash @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye @anotheronebitesthedick

#Rami Malek #Rami Malek Fluff #Rami Malek fanfiction #Rami Malek fanfic #Rami Malek family

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worryinglyinnocent · 4 years

Text

Dead Man Walking (6/?)

Summary: Prime Ministers don’t normally wake up in morgues after they’ve been murdered, but that’s exactly what Robert Sutherland has just done. Right in front of Lacey’s nose. With limited resources and not knowing who to trust, Sutherland and Lacey must work together to get to the bottom of the attempted assassination.

Based loosely on this dream I had.

Rated: T, eventually E.

Note: This is meant to be ‘darkly humorous and amusing mystery’ rather than ‘gripping political thriller’…

[One] [Two] [Three] [Four] [Five] [AO3]

===

Dead Man Walking

Six

“So, I’ve got two questions.”

Considering what they were about to undertake, Carrie would have forgiven Ursula for having many more than two questions. Carrie herself had several questions, most of them coming back to the ultimate question, one to which she did not know the answer: why had she drunk so much elderflower wine tonight?

“Fire away.”

“How are you going to get in once we get there, and do you even know what you’re looking for once you get inside?”

Carrie pondered these questions for a moment. They were certainly very good questions, and shamefully enough, they were not among the questions that Carrie had been asking herself.

“Actually, I’ve thought of a third.” Ursula glanced over at her passenger. “Are you completely, absolutely insane?”

“Darling, you have to be a little bit mad to work in the civil service, it’s the only way that any of us are able to survive all of the politicians.” She paused. It was true that she had launched into this plan without much of, well, a plan, but one thing that years of working with Sutherland and everyone else in government had taught Carrie was that she was very good at thinking on her feet. It made her proud to remember just how many seemingly inevitable catastrophes had been avoided at the last minute due to her quick intervention.

Failed assassinations had never yet featured on the list, but it seemed like as good a thing as any to add to her repertoire.

“Right.” Ursula was silent for a long time as they drove through the countryside, the dawn beginning to break over them. “And about the other two questions?”

“Well, considering how hushed up Spencer is trying to keep everything at the moment, I should imagine that I’ll be able to get in on sheer audacity alone. I’m the PM’s Chief of Staff, they’re not going to stop me without good reason, even if Spencer told me to go home.”

“Right.” Ursula was still clearly unconvinced. “And what are you looking for when you get there? I highly doubt that the culprit will have left a lot of evidence lying around. This isn’t Midsomer Murders.”

“Maybe not, but I’ve played enough games of Cluedo in my time, and you can’t deny that this is a large and ominous country house.”

They were nearing the Chequers drive now, the house just visible in the distance, and Ursula nodded.

“Yep, very large and ominous, I’ll definitely give you that. I thought we’d established that he was poisoned, not hit with any lead piping.”

Carrie sighed theatrically. “Do you have to spoil my analogies? I’m doing the best I can here.”

For the first time since they had first met her on their journey to the hospital, Ursula really laughed. It was a genuine laugh of amusement, nothing sarcastic or malicious in it, and Carrie smiled.

“OK, I’ll trust your judgement,” she said eventually. “Now, do I just drive straight up, or should I park around the corner, or what? And please don’t suggest speeding through the barrier, I don’t think that the insurance would like me for that.”

The security checkpoint was coming up, stereotypical red and white barrier across the road.

“You might as well drive on up.” Carrie squinted through the windscreen, trying to see who was on duty in the security booth, but it was impossible. “There’s no point in trying to sneak in if there’s no need to.” She rummaged in her bag for her ID as Ursula inched the car closer and closer to the barrier.

Steve was on duty in the booth, and Carrie thought that she might be in with a chance. She’d spent enough time at Chequers that she knew all of the security staff probably better than they wanted her to, and Steve was one who could be considered a friend in a time of need. She hoped.

Steve looked at her ID, at her, back at her ID, and then at his watch.

“It’s five o’clock in the morning,” he said.

Carrie raised an eyebrow. “You don’t say.”

Steve looked at her in disbelief. “What could possibly be so important that it can’t wait until later?”

Carrie was about to say something along the lines of the Prime Minister being dead, but she stopped herself just in time. “When did you come on shift, Steve?”

“Two o’clock.”

“And has Spencer spoken to you at all about certain events that transpired last night in this very building?”

Steve shook his head as he handed her ID back to her, and Carrie gave a theatrical sigh.

“Well, I’m sure that what you don’t know can’t hurt you, but there’s certainly a lot that we’re going to have to catch you up on at some point. Suffice it to say, I have some urgent business to attend to.”

“Do you want me to phone up to the house and let them know you’re coming?”

“No, no,” Carrie said, hoping that she didn’t sound too hasty. “They’re expecting me. I’m sure it won’t take long, but you know how they all are.”

No elaboration was needed. Steve did indeed know how the Civil Service were, having worked alongside them for enough years to be able to take all the red tape in his stride.

The barrier lifted up and Ursula proceeded up the driveway towards the house.

“I can’t believe that worked,” she said.

“Oh, I can.” Carrie grinned. “Spencer likes to play his cards close to his chest. He always has, it’s one of the many things about him that really, really infuriates Robert.”

“Right…” They fell silent again until they were parking up in front of the house, whereupon Ursula spoke again.

“You know, I’ve never really known what this place looked like until now. I’ve always known vaguely that Chequers was a place and the Prime Minister lived there sometimes, but I’m not sure what I was expecting. So, this is what my hard-earned taxes go towards.”

“Yep, mine too.” Carrie patted her new friend’s arm. “Now, you just wait here, and I’ll go and see what I can find.”

“Are you sure you’re going to be all right on your own?” Considering how sceptical Ursula had been for the entirety of the night so far, Carrie was quite touched by her concern. “I mean, you’re already hungover if not still drunk.”

Carrie was not quite as touched by that remark, and she hopped out of the car. “I’ll be fine, darling. I always land on my feet.” This statement was not helped by her losing her balance as she tried to shut the car door, and she caught Ursula’s raised eyebrow. “I’m fine!”

She stood outside the house for a long time, pondering the best way in. On the one hand, just going up and knocking on the front door probably wouldn’t get her very far, because the people inside the house would be aware of everything that had happened overnight, and Spencer had likely instructed them not to let her in. On the other hand, given the vast amounts of CCTV around the place, sneaking in through a window was not going to be a valid idea either.

Still, nothing chanced, nothing gained. She could always think up a new plan later. Carrie strode up to the front door and knocked sharply. Not that she really needed to knock, they would have seen her coming. Announcing her presence loudly might not have been the best option, but she had a few tricks up her sleeve yet. Namely, the fact that Robert was indeed still alive and kicking, and not in the hospital morgue where he was supposed to be. This would have thrown Spencer off balance, and hopefully, he would be so busy trying to perform damage limitation that she would be able to work around him.

Sure enough, a few moments later the door opened, and Carrie stepped inside to find herself face to face with a bleary-eyed security guard.

“Good morning, Charlie.”

Charlie looked her up and down and then up at the clock on the wall. “You’re here early. Spencer said that you’d gone to stay with your mother after…” The sentence trailed off.

“Yes, yes.” Carrie waved Charlie’s statement away. “I forgot some things, darling. You know, with everything going on, my head was all over the place.” She caught the guard’s slightly incredulous look. “Well, more all over the place than it already was. If you just let me through like a sweetheart, I’ll be in and out in two minutes.”

Well, that wasn’t likely, considering that she still didn’t really know what she was looking for in terms of evidence, but no-one else needed to know that.

Charlie was definitely in two minds about the whole thing. Whilst the internal security team were definitely aware of what had happened, Carrie wasn’t sure how much Spencer would have told them about the events that had occurred after the Prime Minister had been taken away, and whether or not he would have instructed them to keep her out of the building after he had sent her home.

Finally, Charlie stood back and let her through. “All right. But be quick. Spencer’s in a real mood tonight. I mean, it’s a huge shock, I can understand that, but he’s being even more of an arsehole about it than usual.”

Carrie air-kissed both of Charlie’s cheeks before practically dancing through the metal detector. “Darling, you’re a treasure.”

She was in, and no real subterfuge had been needed. Now all she needed to do was find her evidence whilst hopefully avoiding Spencer.

The first port of call was Robert’s office. The open doorway was sealed off with strips of police tape, and it took a bit of wriggling to ease her way inside. For a brief moment she wondered if she should have worn gloves to avoid leaving fingerprints, but then she remembered that she was in here so often that all her prints would be all over everything anyway.

The coffee cup that Robert had drunk from, and that had most likely poisoned him, was conspicuously absent. Spencer had obviously taken away that particular shred of evidence. There wasn’t likely to be anything else in the room. Carrie leaned back against the desk with a sigh, finally accepting that she had not thought this through properly.

It was as she was looking at everything on the desk that inspiration struck. It would be a tricky idea to pull off, but if it worked, it was the best shot that she had.

She needed Spencer’s phone. He never went anywhere without it and if there was going to be anything incriminating anywhere in Chequers, then it would be there. The downside to this, of course, was that he never went anywhere without it, so getting her hands on it would be difficult.

She straightened up and squeezed out of the doorway again, creeping down the corridors on bare feet towards the office that Spencer used on the rare occasions that he came down from London. She could hear him talking as she got closer, and it made her smile to hear that he seemed rather flustered.

Carrie inched closer, trying to get the gist of what was being said. Maybe this conversation would be enough in itself and she wouldn’t need his phone after all. She grabbed her own, setting it to record, and she pressed herself up against the wall.

“Yes, I know that bodies don’t get out of morgues without assistance!” Spencer was saying. “No, I don’t know where he’s gone! I can understand kidnapping a living Prime Minister but kidnapping a dead one is just ridiculous!”

There was a long pause; Carrie couldn’t make out the voice on the other end, but they didn’t sound impressed. She wondered who on earth he could be talking to, her heart beating painfully in her mouth. Since beginning to suspect Spencer, she’d always had the horrible sinking feeling that he wasn’t working alone. Although he was certainly scheming - he wouldn’t have risen to his current lofty position had he not been - she didn’t think that he was intelligent enough to think up an assassination plot all on his own. Especially not one that used a niche poison that simulated natural death like Robert’s had been.

Robert had his enemies, all politicians did, and being Prime Minister meant that he had more than most. Carrie shook her head, not wanting to get into that train of thought. She worked with all the cabinet on a daily basis and whilst she knew that there were power struggles and more than one person with their eyes on Robert’s job, she didn’t think that any of them would stretch to murder.

She hoped none of them would stretch to murder.

“Yes, I’m sure!” She could hear the exasperation in Spencer’s voice and pressed a hand over her mouth to stop her from giggling and betraying her position. Oh, this frustration really couldn’t have happened to a nicer person. “Look, he’s dead, he can’t exactly have gone far. Yes, I’m sure he’s dead!”

Carrie began to creep away. She’d heard more than enough, and Charlie might be coming to look for her at any moment. She was almost at the end of the corridor when she heard Spencer’s door open, and she jumped through the nearest doorway to avoid detection, ending up in the small cloakroom where visitors could freshen up before meeting the Prime Minister. There was some kind of commotion going on at the front of the house, and her stomach churned, hoping that Ursula was still ok in the taxi.

Spencer marched down the corridor, right past Carrie’s hiding place none the wiser, and began barking orders. Carrie peeped out, waiting until the coast was clear before scuttling back towards the front door and Charlie.

The guard seemed rather relieved to see her; the front door was open and from outside, Carrie could see Ursula being herded back towards the car by one of the other guards.

“Is everything all right?” Carrie asked.

Charlie nodded. “She was trying to get in to look for you, muttering something about being left stranded without you paying the fare. Did you get what you were looking for?”

“Oh, yes. It was a very successful trip, thank you, Charlie.”

Carrie waltzed out of the door towards Ursula, whose expression turned into one of relief as they walked quickly towards the car.

“Don’t worry, I’m here. Your fare will be paid in full as soon as we get back to my mother’s.”

“I, erm, I wasn’t actually worried about the fare.” Ursula looked up from fastening her seatbelt, her face a little sheepish. “I was more worried about you. I thought a distraction might help and it was the only thing I could think of.”

Carrie could only nod, stunned. “Well, it certainly worked, thank you.”

“Glad to be of service. Did you get it? Well, I don’t exactly know what ‘it’ is supposed to be. Did you get something?”

Carrie waved her phone. “I did indeed.”

“Great.” Ursula seemed genuinely happy to hear of the successful plot, and the trip back to the de Ville residence was made in uncharacteristic quiet. Carrie kept glancing sideways at Ursula as she drove, still gobsmacked that Ursula had been worried about her and had tried to help in her not necessarily legal endeavours, especially after everything else that had happened during the night.

She was definitely beginning to see her new friend in an entirely different light.

#rumbelle fic #sutheracey #sea devil #Cruella De Vil #Ursula #Fic: Dead Man Walking

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somnilogical · 4 years

Text

modular "ethics":

a wrong and two rights make a right

<<I've been known to cause outrage by suggesting that people who really care about something shouldn't have romantic relationships. Think what would happen if I dared to suggest that those people should also seriously consider getting castrated. That would be crazy! And who am I to suggest that basically everyone claiming to be doing good is faking it? Then people would feel bad about themselves. We can't have that!>>

https://squirrelinhell.blogspot.com/2018/02/men-have-women-are.html

previously i talked about an infohazard about altruism that seemed to fuck with grognor. it feels useful to pass by the dead and look at their lives and choices.

i dont think that castrating yourself is a good intervention for doing stuff you care about, like this is patchwork constraints for an unaligned optimizer. if you arent altruistically aligned from core values, castrating yourself wont make you more aligned.

the "altruists" having babies thing is actual insane and pasek is right about that. pretty much all of society will try and gaslight you about this the way sometimes people are gaslit about "i need to have sex with lots of attractive fems to keep up my moral so i can do super good stuff afterwards.". like if people want to do good for the world it will flow out as a continuous expression of value not some brent dill kind of deal that institutions like CFAR accepted until there was too much social pressure for them to maintain this facade.

the entire premise that morality is this modular thing and you can help set the utility function of an FAI while being a terrible person, is wrong. yet organizations like CFAR keep thinking it will work out for them:

<<We believe that Brent is fundamentally oriented towards helping people grow to be the best versions of themselves. In this way he is aligned with CFAR’s goals and strategy and should be seen as an ally.

In particular, Brent is quite good at breaking out of standard social frames and making use of unconventional techniques and strategies. This includes things that have Chesterton’s fences attached, such as drug use, weird storytelling, etc. A lot of his aesthetic is dark, and this sometimes makes him come across as evil or machiavellian.

Brent also embodies a rare kind of agency and sense of heroic responsibility. This has caused him to take the lead in certain events and be an important community hub and driver. The flip side of this is that because Brent is deeply insecure, he has to constantly fight urges to seize power and protect himself. It often takes costly signalling for him to trust that someone is an ally, and even then it’s shaky.

Brent is a controversial figure, and disliked by many. This has led to him being attacked by many and held to a higher standard than most. In these ways his feelings of insecurity are justified. He also has had a hard life, including a traumatic childhood. Much of the reason people don’t like him comes from a kind of intuition or aesthetic feeling, rather than his actions per se.

Brent’s attraction to women (in the opinion of the council) sometimes interferes with his good judgement. Brent knows that his judgement is sometimes flawed, and has often sought the help of others to check his actions. Whether or not this kind of social binding is successful is not obvious.>>

https://pastebin.com/fzwYfDNq

<<AnnaSalamon 2/6/09, 5:54 AM

Aleksei, I don’t know what you think about the current existential risks situation, but that situation changed me in the direction of your comment. I used to think that to have a good impact on the world, you had to be an intrinsically good person. I used to think that the day to day manner in which I treated the people around me, the details of my motives and self-knowledge, etc. just naturally served as an indicator for the positive impact I did or didn’t have on global goodness.

(It was a dumb thing to think, maintained by an elaborate network of rationalizations that I thought of as virtuous, much the way many people think of their political “beliefs”/clothes as virtuous. My beliefs were also maintained by not bothering to take an actually careful look either at global catastrophic risks or even at the details of e.g. global poverty. But my impression is that it’s fairly common to just suppose that our intuitive moral self-evaluations (or others’ evaluations of how good of people we are) map tolerably well onto actual good consequences.)

Anyhow: now, it looks to me as though most of those “good people”, living intrinsically worthwhile lives, aren’t contributing squat to global goodness compared to what they could contribute if they spent even a small fraction of their time/money on a serious attempt to shut up and multiply. The network of moral intuitions I grew up in is… not exactly worthless; it does help with intrinsically worthwhile lives, and, more to the point, with the details of how to actually build the kinds of reasonable human relationships that you need for parts of the “shut up and multiply”-motivated efforts to work… but, for most people, it’s basically not very connected to how much good they do or don’t do in the world. If you like, this is good news: for a ridiculously small sum of effort (e.g., a $500 donation to SIAI; the earning power of seven ten-thousandths of your life if you earn the US minimum wage), you can do more expected-good than perhaps 99.9% of Earth’s population. (You may be able to do still more expected-good by taking that time and thinking carefully about what most impacts global goodness and whether anyone’s doing it.)>>

https://www.greaterwrong.com/posts/4pov2tL6SEC23wrkq/epilogue-atonement-8-8

like opposing this isnt self-denying moral aestheticism or a signalling game of how good you can look (credibly signalling virtue is actually a good thing, i wish more people did it by for instance demonstrating how they win in a way that wouldnt work if they werent aligned. whose power seeded from their alignment.). its like... the alternative where people do things that it makes no sense for an altruist to do and then say that when they go to their day jobs they are super duper altruistic they swear; compartmentalizing in this way ...doesnt actually work.

people who want to obscure what altruism looks like will claim that this is moving around a social schelling point for who is to be ostracized. and that altruism as a characteristic of a brain isnt a cluster-in-reality that you can talk about. because it will be coopted by malicious actors as a laser to unjustly zap people with. these people are wrong.

both EA and CFAR are premised on some sort of CDT modular morality working. it is actually pretending to do CDT optimization because like with brent at each timestep they are pretending to think "how can we optimize utility moving forward?" (really i suspect they are just straight up mindcontrolled by brent, finding ways to serve their master because they used force and the people at CFAR were bad at decision theory) instead of seeking to be agents such that brent when brents plans to predate on people ran through them, he would model it as more trouble than it was worth and wouldnt do this in the first place.

CFAR and EA will do things like allowing someone to predate on women because they are "insightful" or creating a social reality where people with genetic biases who personally devote massive amounts of time and money to babies who happen to be genetically related to them and then in their day job act "altruistically". as long as it all adds up to net positive, its okay right?

but thats not how it works and structures built off of this are utterly insufficient to bring eutopia to sentient life. in just the same way that "scientists" who when they arent at their day jobs are theists are an utterly insufficient to bring eutopia to sentient life.

<<Maybe we can beat the proverb—be rational in our personal lives, not just our professional lives. We shouldn’t let a mere proverb stop us: “A witty saying proves nothing,” as Voltaire said. Maybe we can do better, if we study enough probability theory to know why the rules work, and enough experimental psychology to see how they apply in real-world cases—if we can learn to look at the water. An ambition like that lacks the comfortable modesty of being able to confess that, outside your specialty, you’re no better than anyone else. But if our theories of rationality don’t generalize to everyday life, we’re doing something wrong. It’s not a different universe inside and outside the laboratory.>>

to save the world it doesnt help to castrate yourself and make extra super sure not to have babies. people's values are already what they are, their choices have already been made. these sort of ad-hoc patches are what wrangling an unaligned agent looks like. and the output of an unaligned agent with a bunch of patches, isnt worth much. would you delegate important tasks to an unaligned AI that was patched up after each time it gave a bad output?

it does mean that if after they know about the world and what they can do, people still say that they specifically should have babies, i mark them as having a kind of damage and route around them.

someone not having babies doesnt automatically mark them as someone id pour optimization energy into expecting it to combine towards good ends. the metrics i use are cryptographically secure from being goodharted. so i can talk openly about traits i use to discern between people without worrying about people reading about this and using it to gum up my epistemics.

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lorentibbs-blog · 4 years

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Manic Depressive

Manic Depressive.

Every morning he makes me a cup of tea.

Once he even delivered a Harry Spesh- one-part espresso, one- part hot water and one- part steamed milk, to me in the shower. I wondered whether Espresso Cartel could offer this service during alert level 3 in the current pandemic.

“I do not want a relationship”. He looked at me with eyes verging on panic. Our conversation before that had also put me on edge. I had introduced myself and he said ‘I know who you are. We are friends on Facebook’. It had made me feel uncomfortable to have been connected on social media with someone who I did not recognize in real life. He had even come to my flat to collect a costume from my flatmate before the party we were at and I did not recognize him then or now.

A party on top of a mountain. Well because my life had become rather progressive and trendy from the outside looking in. My flatmates had introduced me into a world of polyamory, sophisticated and successful people who cared about the environment, radical self-acceptance ( I only understood it as a concept at this point), and drug use that took me to places I’d never imagined. Inside however, I was in absolute turmoil. I was very unwell and did not know how sick I was at that point.

We had laughed as he explained that we had matched on Tinder and I had insisted on communicating on Facebook. We had arranged to meet at Toad Hall for coffee but 10 minutes beforehand I had decided it was all too much for me. When I looked back on that conversation, Sebastian had responded eloquently to my crazed blow off message and even said that he had had a lovely morning at the market instead. He has this way of understanding and making you feel human for your flaws rather than an insane nut job. The jury is still out for me on that one

The party itself was too much for me. I had climbed a mountain on LSD with two amazing wahine and then stepped into the lodge which was full of equally astounding people. I was terrified. I made my way to a bunk and clung on to my safety duo, Clara, and Tess. We went through the motions, the costumes, dinner (more vegan options than not), excruciating anxiety, the drugs, the fashion show, and the sex pile. The fashion show had ended with my flatmate Ngairi, whose birthday it was, atop a human pyramid. I dropped some MDMA like most of the party goers had. I had hoped this would curb my anxiety and fatigue. It helped but I did find myself going back and forth between the main room and my bunk all night. At one stage I had been led onto another bunk by my other flatmate Ryan, who was Ngairi’s partner. They are polyamorous you see, and he had asked me if I had wanted to hook up.

I always feel so good the next day after MDMA. I should probably explore why this is. I guess when I am on the drug, I have all these revelations and then the next morning potentially I feel lighter?

So, after 12 hours of stepping into the lodge I was finally ready to introduce myself to someone.

Sebastian was by himself pretending to look busy with a broom. I enthusiastically (probably the most energetic and social I had felt the whole time) introduced myself and the conversation flowed around depression, anxiety, and Sebastian’s house build. I had suggested that we go for coffee at Toad Hall like we had initially planned to 2 years before. This is where I was taken back with his response of “I don’t want a relationship” it was like he had seen my brain ticking off all the characteristics I was valuing as we spoke. “sensitive, understanding of depression, attractive, a Colgate worthy smile, built his own house, older than me, mutual friends and blue eyes that saw right through me”. Later I would tease him about his panicked response as if I were ‘just’ asking him to go for coffee

Getting to know Sebastian has been a remarkably interesting journey since then and has been the catalyst for much introspection.

As I walked down the mountain that afternoon, I did a lot of self-reflection. I was thankful that one of our trio had left us early and I was left just walking down with Clara Keel. I found it so easy to talk to Clara. I think she found it easy to talk to me too. Even in a manic-depressive episode I was able to make beautiful connections with admirable people. Her girlfriend suffered from major depression and anxiety and was on Venlafaxine. It was very enlightening to hear from Clara as a partner with someone with depression. Clara invited me to go snowboarding with her and her friends over the winter and we promised to see each other very soon. I did not see her again for a long time. Turns out she is outrageously hard to pin down. I am stoked about that though because Clara keeps herself busy with a lot of incredible environmental and political work. We stopped and chatted to various people from the party down the mountain. Our ride Mikey Clementine was running down the mountain and said he was happy to wait for us at the carpark. We caught up with Sebastian and a crew he was walking with. We walked down with him and I was very aware of him positionally to me. I did not really talk too much. Id taken a mushroom and weed coconut concoction that my ex had made me and I was vibing with the trees and my surroundings. I was very appreciative of the conversation Sebastian and Clara were having and was happy just witnessing it

On the ride back, my mushroom trip was really kicking in. Mikey blew my mind when he described his interest in the dominant and submissive scene. He made a point I have never forgotten and in that moment a switch flicked in my head. He explained that with every sexual session all participants would sit down before hand and have a discussion around their expectations, wants, limits, and fetishes. If either party felt uncomfortable or did not feel like their sexual style matched, then nothing would go ahead. I felt like these conversations should be happening around any kind of sex. It would save so much miscommunication and boundaries being crossed. In the history of my sexual life these conversations were really lacking and had there been space for them that may have saved a lot of suffering. Interesting that this style of sex is viewed in quite a dark and risky light by most but could potentially be the safest kind in terms of discussion, boundaries and consent. Purely because a discussion is expected and is compulsory beforehand.

Ngairi was absolutely filled with joy after her birthday party. We chatted in the kitchen and she was fizzing about the weekend’s events. I began to tell her the story about Sam and I and our failed tinder meet up. She paused me mid-way through and vomited rainbows and unicorns over her experience of Sebastian that weekend. She described their rendezvous in the pile of costumed MDMA cuddle puddle participants. Ngairi was on top of Sebastian in the cuddle puddle. “Ryan bounced up to me in his bunny costume and I was so happy to see him” she described their embrace as she disclosed into Ryan’s ear “Sebastian has a boner!”. Ryan and Ngairi both giggled and shared a cheeky grin as he bounced away. Sebastian was fingering Ngairi the whole time the interaction took place. As it turned out, Ngairi and Sebastian had fooled around in the cuddle puddle and had intercourse before Ngairi returned to her bunk with Ryan. Later Sebastian would tell me he thought I had known that him and Ngairi had slept together the night before when I asked him if he wanted to go for a coffee. ‘yeah I thought you knew and were still asking me out. I thought wow this polyamory thing is real eye-opening stuff

Ryan in turn had hooked up with a large percentage of the party, me included. When Ryan and I had hooked up I was taken back when he stopped our encounter and told me he was going back to the party. It was interesting to initially feel rejected he did not want to take things further like I thought we were going to. I am thankful for the experience of having someone stop me in my tracks sexually. Anyone can stop any sexual encounter at any time. I guess I was just flabbergasted momentarily as I have never had any male stop me before. I stayed in the bunk and rested after this. Ryan came back to check if I was okay. I was so exhausted, and my brain was very fuzzy at this stage.

I will not deny that I was disappointed when Ngairi had told me about her encounter with Sebastian. In fact, I will go as far as to say I thought “fuck you Ngairi, you have the best boyfriend can’t you be happy with that”. I reflected on this thought process and by the end of the week I was disappointed in myself for thinking this way.

Ngairi Newton chose to live her life this way. She was in a committed polyamorous relationship with Ryan Mcgregor This relationship allowed her to explore any other relationship in any way she liked and vice versa. I had found her perspective on relationships so exciting initially. Polyamory was a new concept for me, and I had found myself in the household of the most exceptional and liberating relationship id ever heard of.

So how did I find myself in the position I was in? Unemployed, depressed, anxiety ridden and barely coping, living with two of the most inspirational and functional people I have ever met?

I was living with Ngairi and Ryan for the second time. The first time was only a three week stay while I was in between places. I am always in between places as you will find out. I am in between places right now as we speak. And will be 5 times over by the time this story is done.

Emilie my flatmate at the time had invited me to a Halloween party. Emilie was a very bizarre and unnerving woman but one that was difficult to say no to. I remember feeling instantly connected to her when I first viewed the room. We engaged in deep conversation incredibly early on, I mean I do not believe I was there longer than half an hour. We both identified our fathers as the cause of all the turmoil in our lives. She did not hear me when I first knocked on the door even though I was bang-on on time (sat outside in the car for 20 minutes because I was early). She was on her kitchen floor pulling all the contents out of the cupboard. Her current flatmate had told her about a book that was about de cluttering your life (literally). She had just flown back from a disastrous 3-month trip in France and was experiencing some severe jet lag. She had just cleaned out her wardrobe and I left in a state of glee with all the gorgeous garments this exciting woman no longer wanted. Two weeks into moving in with Emilie I knew I had made a mistake. We found ourselves in a very messy situation in the end that was further complicated by my close friends taking the room I was not quite ready to give up.

I had realized that I could not live with her. She had taken it to heart when I told her this and somehow my telling her I was thinking about looking for a new room turned into me giving her two weeks’ notice. I guess there may have been a miscommunication. Little did I know how scarce accommodation in Nelson was at this point. Anyway, through all of this we managed to stay civil and she invited me, like the Gemini she is, to a party the weekend before I was to move out. We found it difficult to find the party and when we did it was really humming. Turned out to be a party of a woman who I had met before. Again, on the path to finding the right accommodation. Chrissie and I had met at Claudia’s house. Claudia owned a house I had fallen in love with, the room available was Christie’s room. I did not get the room. This party was a housewarming for Chrissie’s new place. I had enquired about this place as well. Chrissie had told me over text that she was looking for a new house because she wanted to take drugs over the summer and have more of a party living environment. She then said that she thought it would not really suit me as at that point I had intense social anxiety. Since then I have befriended several people in a circle of friends that Chrissie and I now share. We have encountered each other a few times. Each of those times I have been unwell. She is beautiful, funny, Canadian and she is an engineer. Its hard not to be starstruck by her. I imagine Chrissie and I would get on like a house on fire if I were at my best when I ran into her, I always seem to be unwell though. Emilie is gone within moments of us entering the sea of costumed people. I make a bee line to the table of snacks. And I start munching on chips and dip as if my life depended on it. I am not sure how it happened but I found myself in a conversation with a woman in an amazing shiny pants suit, the blazer atop a sequined bikini top, her face was painted in a Mexican skull design and she had a platinum blonde bob. What a bad bitch. (id never actually say that in real life. Real hero behind a keyboard type stuff)

When Mel, a fellow volunteer from the Wellness Movement, suggested asking her if she would rent out her spare room, I was not picturing Ngairi as the woman in from of me.

I had imagined a 40 + year old slightly chubby Maori woman with a couple of cats. As it turned out Ngairi only had one cat named Espresso. I am fairly sure Espresso wouldn’t have had me if she had had a choice in the matter. Fair enough too as it turns out.

#polyamory #bi polar

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thebritishblabbermouth · 6 years

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Jungkook Fanfiction- BTS Mafia AU

Heyya :))

@atricksterwithwings requested a beautiful BTS mafia au, and I loved writing this for her. I’ve split it into three parts. Scroll down for the first and for the link to the latter.

A/N: I’ve mentioned Zhang Yixing in this fanfiction aside from the other BTS members. Its totally okay if you dont know who he is...although you probably do, he’s like such a popular sheep ;) Find information about him here .

Tell me your thoughts on this fanfic, Id love to receive any sort of feedback on my work and I totally think that likes and reblogs are recognition too :) Have fun reading, I know I really enjoyed writing this :) Its like 12 pages long on a word doc...idek anymore xP Jungkook is gorgeous. :)

Also...there is cursing in this, mention of the mafia from different nationalities and part two and three are rated M (its smutty xP) Reader discretion is advised if any of these things bother you.

Lots of love :) <3 - Enjoy :)

PART 2

PART 3 (final)

Jeon Jungkook stood at the 77th floor of Euphoria, the headquarters to the largest crime syndicate east of the Pacific Ocean. The height was dizzying for most, but not for him.

Jungkook had no fears; or so was assumed.

The man himself, was built at an impressive 6 feet and constituted of raw muscle, protein and a rather cynical approach towards life. Outwardly, the leader of the most legal crime syndicate was cold, intimidating and the type to burn you to ashes with a glare from his heated eyes.

Inwardly, he was exactly the same.

He was well aware of the effect he had on his employees, men and women who knew exactly of his affiliation with the Japanese Yazuka and the Italian Camorra yet pined to work under Jeon, the sheer power of his company bringing everyone to their knees with respect.

Euphoria was a giant.

It had dealings with government run telemarketing firms, banks, real estate agencies, alongside finance and technology markets. An easy way to convert money earned through extortion, gambling and trafficking to its pure and pristine form. The corrupt politicians whose elections he had funded didn’t complain. No one cared where the money came from and no one dared to ask otherwise. The cause of the founder’s formidable aura wasn’t a secret. Everyone knew how he had been tortured by his father, abandoned on the streets by a mother who seemed to love Heroin more than her own son. The story had been plastered all over the internet, and Jungkook would never deny reading through its many exaggerated versions. They were entertaining and did well to remind himself about how important money and power were, without those weapons, he too would be sitting in a room, writing about a life that belonged to someone else.

Materialism was reality and wealth- it’s currency.

~~~~~~~~~~~

‘’Sir, your coffee…’’ you said, walking through the office doors, a skip in your stride. There was no knock. No hint of awkwardness, no aspect of fear in the way she spoke. If anything there was the undertone of coercion, almost coaxing the man to leave his billion dollar thoughts in the gutter and focus solely on the warm drink.

Your playful extortion had worked, he was focused. Just not on the coffee.

Three months ago, Euphoria had issued an internal opportunity- PA to Jeon Jungkook. The post received 3 applications from his 20,000 employees. Min Yoongi, his chief of finance and operations took to appointing the least qualified of the bunch, a woman- aged a mere 22 years. The pitch to his ever frightening boss had been simple. ‘’You’ve let down 30 men in the last 6 months. I am done handling my job as well your shit. Those Harvard lunatics are too busy tending to their stupid resumes and I don’t have time for the garbage they throw at me when you fire their sorry arses. You’re settling with the woman, she’s got sick parents to feed- she won’t give a damn for ego as long as you pay her on time.’’

Jungkook could only snarl at the curses, the audacity of the man to speak in the way he did. Anyone else and they’d be lying in a pool of their own blood within seconds of the first word spoken against him. But Min Yoongi couldn’t be touched and this was a fact.

Jeon Jungkook was putty in the hands of his elder brother.

Today, he sent thanks to his sibling, for his aggressive outburst and daunting approach. You were priceless and the best decision ever- professionally of course.

He gave no reply to your request, not even a glance spared in your direction as your placed the drink onto his desk. There were just a series of footsteps, the man walking over to his maple work table, ready to do as he was told.

You had no idea of the prerogatives you held, and at that point, neither did him. The slight tease in your voice had mellowed down completely- replaced with the air of innocence and obeisance. Jungkook groaned at the sight.

‘’So I was thinking…it’s Christmas Eve tomorrow…and well…’’ you said... Shuffling your buckled black heels.

‘’You aren’t leaving early.’’

His abrupt command had no thought behind it. Other than the fact he couldn’t let you out of his sight for more than a few hours, often paging you unnecessarily just to make you think of him.

He doubted you ever would if he didn’t.

‘’I am not…my parents are flying in tomorrow…it’s a small get together at my place with a few colleagues. I figured since you didn’t have anything planned…you could join us?’’

Your apprehensive feet clicked across the hardwood with anticipation, the weightlessness behind your request holding the air in a trance.

‘’You’re my personal assistant, not event manager. You do not handle my private affairs so don’t think for a second that I care about your stupid Christmas dinner or the family I saved from crumbling.’’

It wasn’t what he had intended to say. Rather, his mind had flourished a thought he needed to keep locked away. He wanted to tell you that he’d love to join your family, share potato salad and amusing anecdotes across the table... All the while pressing his hand into your thigh- a subtle promise of sinful satisfaction later that night. But he wouldn’t dare to voice his feelings. You didn’t need to get involved with his shit, the scars that graced his back or the life full of gluttony and gambles he had chosen to lead. It was compulsion, to remind you every second of every day that the apartment which he bestowed upon you just 3 floors below his office- was a gracious boon, a gift given to improve your petty life. You had to be reminded of your father and how had been released from Jail after almost overdosing on the crack he had envisioned to peddle. Jeon Jungkook had to remind you of how ugly your tear stained face looked as you begged on your knees- begged for him to save your family.

There was simply no other way.

If you weren’t reminded, you’d crawl your way into his heart and sit there- encasing it completely.

He was just a damned moth to your flame.

‘’I know…and I am trying…I am trying to repay you. Please. Come over. I won’t waste your time.’’ You said. The words articulated with a purpose, were laced with meaningful sorrow but you couldn’t help the small smile that graced your lips.

He hadn’t declined.

Jungkook noticed how your full lips turned upwards, noticed how you had bent your head downwards, trying to hide your amusement. He knew he hadn’t said no, he knew inside the pits of his soul that was going to attend. Your reaction publicised his private notions completely.

It wasn’t hard to hate you.

Rather, it was the easiest thing in the world. His life had been built upon layers of lies, fear, judgement and mistrust. You tore everything apart with one look. He despised the hold you had over him, envied your purity and tried his best to tarnish it with his own two hands. Even if it meant burning your entire persona to ashes. He was well aware of the impact his audacious remarks on your large heart, knew just how much you wished to throw your small fists at his chest in rebuttal- he could see it in your eyes. But he knew you’d never break.

‘’Get out. I don’t have time for you.’’

Fuck.

Why couldn’t he just say no?

Probably because the thought of abjuration had never once crossed his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~

11 pm saw him standing at your door, a bouquet of Lilly’s in his hand. The flowers had almost wilted away. What the hell was he doing? Why was he even here? There was no noise from behind the oakwood and why would there be?

Your offer had been for dinner, not a midnight snack.

He wasn’t going to come, prove you wrong and act smug about the ordeal. However he had shown up, at 7 pm, flowers fresh and suit prim. Ready to tap onto the door and shimmy himself into you…your apartment. But his confidence dropped as he heard your laughter, it was beautiful, natural and something he had never experienced before.

Jeon Jungkook had never made you laugh, but had every thought of hearing you scream.

It wouldn’t have mattered to him if you were any other woman, but the lack of knowledge frightened him, made him think there would be another man who would have the pleasure of witnessing both sounds.

Every. Single. Day.

His heart beat erratically, edging him into a state of worry and insanity. What the fuck was wrong with him? It would be a complete lie if he said he hadn’t just stood in front of your door for 3 hours, praying he didn’t hear sounds of men. The silence at 11 pm provided comfort and he walked away, only after dropping the Lilly’s inside the vase at your desk.

You had been pleasantly surprised the next day, and you knew exactly who they were from. The flowers- drained from their pretty colour -were beautiful nonetheless and you couldn’t help but run your hands over their soft petals.

They were perfect- just like him.

~~~~~~~~~~

‘’See that guy over there…he’s checking you out hon.’’ Lisa, the American-Chinese intern, stirred her tea at an exceedingly sluggish pace. Her eyes were glued onto the 27 year old accountant who stood in the corner of the room, photocopying his work and humming to himself. She’d been a temporary employee at Euphoria Inc. for a bare 3 weeks but had done well to pair 4 couples with her self-praised matchmaking skills.

3 of said relationships had broken up within 24 hours. And thus, It was only natural that her impeccable track record attracted many an employee to her small cubicle, ready for her to set them up with dates and one night stands.

It seemed that you were her next target.

You sighed and turned to look at Jamie. He was tall, considerably well-built and had this collegiate boyish charm to his appeal, his long-slightly raven locks sat faultlessly over his glasses.

The image was so immaculate it made you uncomfortable.

However in your opinion, the man on the 77th floor was nothing short of perfection. His ruffled hair didn’t need to be waxed and placed as it were; it fell naturally and it made you want to run your hands through it. His rugged and damaged personality sheltered his otherwise kind heart and you saw right through the vile facade. You didn’t hope for him to change. Didn’t hope for him to suddenly become a goofy cheeky soul; the kind who would sit and chat with his workers.

You loved the man as he was. A little broken but a hell of a lot confident.

‘’Lisa…I don’t really want to date him…’’ You mumbled, eagerly emptying coffee beans into the machine.

She laughed at your reply and peeled her eyes away from the man. ‘’Who said anything about dating love? I just said he was checking you out.’’

It was hard not to grimace at her words but as crude as they were you had to smile politely. Offices were run on brutal honesty and cut throat depositions. There was no room for pleasantries or hospitality and any that appeared were a courteous formality. You hurried in your steps and brewed the concoction with ease. It was 8 am and he required his morning fix, even though he never actually asked you to prepare it. You had just finished placing his black on the tray and had turned around to deliver it when a firm body crashed into yours, spilling the brew all over your clothes and the floor. The heat burned through your blouse and scorched your skin, it had been hard to not curse at the pain but you dealt through it, eyes shut tight in response.

‘’Oh my gosh! I am so sorry!’’ said the voice. It was a man, sharply handsome, his cheekbones were protruding and you were sure his skin glowed. It didn’t take long to recognise him.

Kim Taehyung.

He had been a prospective fiancé, from a year ago.

From a time when you had no viable job, no future and the money the Kim Family offered in exchange for your hand in matrimony, had been a welcome surprise to your household. They were staunchly against same sex marriages and Park Jimin had been banned from their home with immediate effect. The marijuana had inflected your otherwise gentle father and he had agreed in seconds to the proposal, not once considering your opinion. You had declined Taehyung in private, and he had hugged you in thanks. The man was humble and docile in more ways than one, and his heart had been taken years ago- by none other, than his childhood piano teacher. There was no way Taehyung would’ve agreed.

‘’Tae!’’ You screamed, surprised yet elated at the discovery.

‘’Hey there fiancé. Glad to know you remember me…but really, why do we always meet in the worst of situations.’’ He walked over to the counter as he spoke, grabbing up as many napkins as he could find. His gentle hands took to patting at your chest, handing you the tissues while doing so and it didn’t take long for to dry up your blouse.

‘’I thought you’d be more respectful than that. Letting your fiancé walk into my building and displaying yourself open for the man. Tch Tch…I guess a lowlife is always a low life no matter what her circumstance.’’ Jeon Jungkook stood against the door, leaning onto it with a posture that screamed indifference. But in all reality, Jungkook was seething.

The small Glock tucked into his suit was ready to fire and destroy Kim Taehyung and maybe even leave a flesh wound inside Jamie the accountant.

However in that minute, his primal desire had been to destroy you. How dare you hide the news of your engagement? How dare you wear that damned pastel pink blouse to work, and let another man touch you so unabashedly? How dare you smile when you saw your betrothed? He hated you for everything.

And he hated himself for falling for you.

‘’And who the hell is this Joker?’’ Taehyung turned around to look at Jeon, the tissues in his hand soiled from the spillage. He had been invited to the corporation by Min Yoongi, a dear friend who had promised him help with TaeMin Designs, an upcoming entrepreneurial, founded by his beautiful husband. It didn’t occur to him that he’d meet you, but he was pleased that he had.

You were wonderful.

If it hadn’t been for your confidence, he would have never proposed to Jimin, never left his awful family and never been as happy as he was now. He owed you his life and his prosperity.

‘’Tae…he’s my boss. I’ll talk to you later. Please. I’ll call you hmm?’’ you tried your best to nip the fight in the bud. Taehyung was cool headed but an agitated version of the man could lead to the emergence of fists and blood. You were lucky he understood your pleas, and he grunted towards Jungkook while exiting the room, the daggers leaving his eyes were filled with venom and anger.

‘’I’d like you to pay attention to your job. Not to every single man out there. Why don’t you just do as you’re told? I don’t care what you do and who you do it with when you’re out of here.’’ Jungkook straightened himself against the wall and pocketed his hands. He told himself he enjoyed watching your eyes brim, told himself that his anger was justified. But god knows how much he wanted to cradle you and whisper apologies until you were forced to believe them.

‘’Let’s keep your sluttish acts away from the office hmm?’’

It was a harsh blow, enough to cause the first tear to slip from their confines. Why did he have to behave like that?

Why did you have to love him regardless of the way he did?

~~~~~~~

‘’How long is it going to take you leave? It’s pretty simple. Take the bag to KM Constructions, drop it there and leave. What’s so hard? '' Jungkook’s anger had sky rocketed ever since the incidence in the cafeteria and he didn’t even understand why he was asking you to be a bag drop. Never once in a career spanning 6 years had he ever made a woman a part of a deal. But it seemed that you were an exception with everything.

‘’I am just leaving Sir.’’ You said, buttoning up the grey pea coat.

He noticed how inappropriately dressed you were, how feminine and vulnerable. He knew how lecherous men could be, knew it wasn’t safe. But annoyance clouded his senses and he threw the thoughts away. It was simple enough, no interactions. You’d be fine.

If only he knew.

Part 2

Part 3

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rabidwrestlingfan · 6 years

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Wanted To

Author's note: Yeah, this one got away from me too. Requested by @ohcristimhookedonhavocimsodunne 💙 If you didn't know oVe has taken over our lives. 😂 This one will also have a sequel (who would've known) but after them I promise you'll see some others. Hope you guys like it! 💙

#102. "You hear that? That's the sound of my awesomeness."

Jake Crist

The woman couldn't help but think of leaving as she neared the venue. Her green eyes glanced at the note sitting atop her purse when she parked. Shane had told her that things would be set up, but had given her the note just in case. The first thing she noticed when she got out of the car was someone walking towards her. She couldn't make out the details under the heavy coat, but she was sure it was a man. "Hi." She waved nervously. "You must be the one Shane sent." The man speculated once he reached her. His voice made her eyebrows shoot up. She didn't know why he'd taken her by surprise, but he had. "Sorry to inconvenience you. I let it slip that I'd be in town and Shane insisted that I make a stop here." She was quick to explain, knowing the man probably had better things to do. "It's not a problem. Ya just took me by surprise is all. Didn't expect ya so early." His words made her back up towards the driver door. "I'll just come back later..." She trailed off with another small wave.

"No! God, that sounded rude. I'm sorry. I just meant that it'll just be us for at least another three hours." He explained, glad that the freezing Ohio winter covered his blush. The woman smiled and nodded. "I'm alright with that if you are. I'm Nova... And you're Jake Crist." She stuck her hand out but he was stuck on her name. "Nova? I'm not even good enough for your real name?" He asked with feigned hurt. It had taken him by surprise that she introduced herself under the name. The woman dramatically rolled her eyes. "I was conceived in the backseat of a Nova and my mom wanted something unique." As if to prove her point she took her id out of her pocket. He couldn't help but laugh when he seen that her name was in fact Nova. "I think it's cool! She definitely succeeded with unique!" Jake exclaimed when she started laughing. Before she could put her id away he noticed something else. "You're from Columbus?" The blonde asked with a smile. Nova shook her head as she slipped the plastic card in her pocket. "Just where I ended up when I left home." Jake nodded slowly. He could tell it was something she didn't want to discuss.

They agreed to meet in the ring once they got inside and changed. In the meantime he had told Shane that she'd showed up, and even told the guys they had a guest. Shane seemed to think this woman was something special. Jake's head shot up when he heard her nearing. "Your hair..." He muttered softly. Instantly her hand smoothed over the top of her hair. She'd had it tied back and tucked into her hood outside, but now it was in two braids. "Is red and blue? I'm aware." Nova joked as she slid into the ring. The top layers of her hair were dyed bright red while the bottom were vibrant blue. "Shane sent me a clip of the show last week. If you're that good why aren't you booked everywhere?" He blurted. Sure a few seconds weren't enough to truly judge her skills, but they were enough to know she was good. "My ex didn't think women should be in the ring. After about a decade of lies I decided I didn't care what he thought." She explained tensely. "Sorry. That was probably too personal to ask. I really didn't mean to offend you." The blonde apologized after meeting her green eyes. "Fuck him and his stupid ass opinions. I'm just glad that I'm back in the ring." The woman said with a genuine smile. "I have a feeling we're all going to be happy about that."

Over a year later Nova was sitting ringside at the aptly named Barbed Wire Massacre match. Almost immediately she was gripping Taya's hand and questioning her sanity. "Hey, they've been through worse. These crazy fuckers have been in Tournament of Death, this is... Almost nothing." Taya said in hopes of calming her. Nova knew deep down that she was right, at least about Sami. She'd been by the man's side since they were teenagers. Sami had a decent sense of judgement. Sure he had fireballed Konnan and backed LAX into this match, but he wasn't dumb. He figured this madness was their best shot. She knew that the trio were doing what they had to so they could keep the titles. However that sentiment didn't make watching the match any less brutal. In the end Jake's torso had been completely wrapped in barbed wire, Sami had been beaten with a bat wrapped in barbed wire, and Dave had skewers sticking out of his head. As soon as the ref hit three the two women were rushing backstage. Nova was doing her best to prepare herself for the aftermath of the match.

By the time the two made it backstage two trainers were just passing by with Dave. Nova could make out the splotches of blood in his brown hair. "I don't care what Thing 2 and the Cat in the Hat are doing. If you don't think I'm forcing them to the trainers too then you're insane." Taya hissed to Dave who was trying to deny the trainer's help. It seemed her words had stuck because he finally let them lead him away. The look on the blonde's face was downright dangerous. "Our best friends are fucking dumbasses, you know? One is wrapped in barbed wire and the other got the snot beat out of him... And they really think they don't need checked out. I'll drag Jake by the fucking barbed wire and Sami by the hair if I have to." She growled, shoving past anyone who was in her way. Nova was right behind her though she was apologizing to everyone they inconvenienced. In the back of her mind the screams of pain that Jake had let out during the match were on replay. She had never dealt with anyone after a hardcore match like this. In reality she didn't know what to expect from any of the men.

Two pairs of eyes shot to the door when it slammed into the wall. "Told ya." Jake grunted from his spot by the wall. He was doing his best not to cause any more harm to himself. His head was against the wall and his back was awkwardly arched. Sami, who was lying on the floor, blindly flipped him off. All the anger seemed to leave Taya when she seen the pair. Nova was still stood fidgeting in the doorway when the woman knelt in between them. "I'm not going with all this shit." She heard Jake mutter. That shook her from her trance. "You can take Sami and check on Dave. I'll help Jake get free." Immediately Jake turned his face to look at her. "You don't have to do that, supernova. I know that this whole thing kind of threw you off." He told her with a minuscule smile. She knew the nickname was supposed to ease her mind, but it didn't. "Are you going to try to unwrap yourself? Or cut it off by yourself? Both of those sound absolutely idiotic. You begged me to come support you and I did even when I was scared. Let me help you, Jake." Nova stared him in the eyes the whole time, eventually ending up sitting in front of him. When he nodded Taya handed her a pair of wire cutters and heavy duty gloves.

They decided that cutting the wire in small sections and peeling it away would be the best option. The job had already gone quicker than she expected. The first layers had fallen off without a problem. However the closer to the skin they got the more ensnared the wire became. "Hey, look at me." Jake whispered when he seen her eyebrows furrow. She'd come across three different strands that had woven together. Green eyes met blue when she heard the words. "You're doing great." He complimented before grabbing one of her gloved hands and squeezing it. "You say that now, but wait a few more seconds. The rest of it is all shirt and skin." Her eyes went back to his torso as she clipped a few more bits of wire. Jake did his best to focus on anything else. Except his thoughts were all about various little details about her. It wasn't the first time that he'd noticed any of it. He knew she bit her lip when she was stressed. He knew the small jagged scar behind her ear was from when she was thirteen. It hit him in that moment what his feelings had become. He was utterly in love with the woman in front of him.

Jake was shaken from his thoughts by a stinging pain radiating from his torso. His grunt made her quickly let go of the wire. "You hear that? That's the sound of my awesomeness." The blonde joked to calm her down. She playfully rolled her eyes at his words. "Really? I thought it was the sound of your craziness biting you in the ass." Nova shot back with a smirk of her own. "Two sides of the same coin." He concluded, reaching down to finish pulling the section of wire. He knew that they were finally in the home stretch of things. The woman took his action as a sign to keep going, and started gently puling another strand. Once it was all off of the front of him he started unbuttoning his shirt. "Figured we could peel off the shirt with it and kill two birds with one stone." He explained after he stood up. She knew he was referencing the trainer wanting to see the marks. The shirt came off with few problems. He ended up looking a lot better than she expected. "Thank you, Nova. It means more than you know." He observed as he opened the door. The woman kissed his cheek before she spoke. "You're my best friend, Jake. You helped me when I had no one. This is nothing."

Ten minutes later Jake was lying on a cot in the trainers room. He'd been cleared of anything serious and was told the others had been too. Now all three men were just trying to psyche themselves up to move. Nova could hear Taya muttering something to Sami across the room. Even Krystal had come out of hiding to check on Dave. "You didn't have to do this." Nova whispered as she gently ran her hand over his broken and bruised skin. "I know. Wanted to. Needed to... For my own sanity." He told her just as quietly. His blue eyes tiredly ran over her face for the millionth time. "I'll be fine, supernova." Her eyes went back to his with a small smile. "I know. You're a crazy fucking badass." She replied with a laugh. When she started to pull away Jake's hand shot out. "Promise if you do that for a few more minutes I'll get up." He offered with his best smile. "Kids, there are other people in the room. Save it for the hotel." Dave joked before his laugh turned into a groan. The woman's cheeks were almost as red as her hair but she did as Jake asked. "If you're not careful she'll kick your ass, bro." The blonde warned with a laugh of his own. "Don't worry, Thing 1. I'll wait until you're healed up." Nova shot back after a few seconds. Sami groaned, flicking Taya's arm before he spoke. "You made it a thing. Of all things it had to be that one that stuck!" He whined playfully.

Jake dozed off the second his head hit the pillow when they made it to the hotel. Nova even had to slip his shoes off before she went to shower. When she opened the bathroom door twenty minutes later she seen him blinking in the dim light. "Didn't mean to wake you." She apologized. The man shook his head before he gently moved to face her bed. "You know I don't sleep this early." He pointed out with a chuckle. "I figured tonight would be a special occasion. It's not every day one of your best friends has to cut you out of barbed wire." She could see the pained look in his face when he heard her words. She knew she'd worded it wrong. "Jake, no." She said as she moved to sit on his bed. Nova grabbed his hand before he could speak. "They only won because Konnan stuck your brother in the head with Skewers. You guys had that match won." He already knew that arguing would be pointless. Without thinking she picked his hand up and kissed his palm. Once she realised what she'd done her cheeks went bright red, hands quickly covering her face. "Oh my god. That was weird. I'm so sorry." She repeated a few times. Suddenly he was leaning up on his elbows and pulling her hands away. "It's okay." Jake mumbled quietly. Slowly Nova lowered her hands and looked into his blue eyes. The woman suddenly became acutely aware of the inches separating them. She didn't know who started leaning but soon enough she could feel his breath on her face. That's when there was a knock on the door, causing her to jump back. "Brought you guys some burgers." Taya said in a singsong voice. "I've got it." Nova mumbled before jumping up.

#i write stuff #wrestling imagine

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ezm-imagines · 7 years

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blood and water

Draco x slytherin weasley!reader Request: draco is secretly dating a Wesley (red head, hand me downs, very obvious except shes a slytherin) and her sister and Hermione are the only ones who know and it accidently gets spilled to her brothers and how they react and all that junk if you wouldn't mind?! Id love if you did! note: you gave me a prompt and i wrote waaaay more surrounding the story than anyone ever asked of me so idk here you go lol ----------------------------------- Draco bit his lip. Clearly you were a Weasley, with the bright ginger hair and moth eaten hand me down cloak, yet he couldn't deny you were certainly attractive. More than attractive, if he were being honest. It was rather unfortunate, he felt, that such a wonder could be lost to such a dumb family. He'd watched you from afar for years, but today felt different. Today he wanted to talk to you.

He licked his lips and strode towards you, determined to ooze his trademark charm to make you swoon. Normally, he wouldn't go out with a Weasley, but you were a Slytherin, so he felt you would be much better than your ridiculous Gryffindor siblings. "So, tell me," he questioned you, casually falling into step beside you, "How exactly did a Weasley like you get into Slytherin? You managed to break your family curse and join the high ranks. Tell me your secrets." "Sod off." "I was joking." "And I wasn't: sod off. I'm not in the mood to deal with your crappy teasing today." "Crappy? I'll have you know it's rather high quality. Besides, it's not teasing. It's banter. It's... flirting." "It's annoying. A rose by any other name and all that..." Okay. This conversation wasn't going where he'd planned... "Do you need help carrying your books?" He changed the subject, nodding at how your arms had changed positions multiple times in an attempt to more easily carry the weight of the books. "Yeah right," you scoffed, "Like you'd actually-" The first two books came toppling to the ground. You let out a frustrated noise and blew the hair out of your eyes before squating to try to pick up the books. But before you could, Draco had already done just that. He took another book off of your pile as well and started walking. You frowned and sped to keep pace, "Why did you do that?" "Is it such a crime to help someone carry their books, for Merlin's sake?" "For you it is." He sighed, "Then maybe you don't know me." "I'm pretty sure I know you well enough to know that helping someone isn't in your nature, Malfoy." "Ouch. You must talk to your brother a lot." "I don't need to talk to my brother to find that out. Everyone knows it." "Then, how about I show you a different side of me. One that no one knows." You stopped walking, "What?" "Go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend." "Are you... are you serious?" "Completely. And if you find that I'm as much of an arse as you think, then you can tell everyone that I'm exactly like that. But if not... Well, then, I guess we'll see. Is it a deal?" You furrowed your eyebrows, "You lost a bet, didn't you?" "What? No!" "Yes, you did. Someone dared you to do this." "I'm not a Gryffindor, I don't do dares." "Well, then it's some lame practical joke. And I don't think it's funny..." "It's not a prank, I promise." "Like I would trust you! You're probably going to curse me somehow, or have everyone jump out and laugh at me for believing it's real, or tell everyone that I'm-" "I like you, okay?" He announced, frustrated, "I think you're really pretty and cool, which I find insane because I vowed a long time ago to hate all Weasleys but then you showed up and I don't know I just can't hate you. I thought I hated the Weasley's ginger hair but you actually look really cute with it when you have it down and curly, or when you're in the library and you put it up in a ponytail so it doesn't distract or bother you when you study, which you do pretty often. And then sometimes you forget to take it down afterwards, like now, and the ponytail bounces when you walk. And I don't know, somehow you pull off wearing oversized hand me downs from your brothers and make the bagginess look actually really adorable. Which makes absolutely no sense to me, and yet you still manage it. And then you-" "Okay," you breathed, blinking from the sheer amount of the compliments he just gave you. "Okay?" He paused, confused. "Okay I'll go to Hogsmeade with you." His face broke into a smile, "Really?" "Yeah," you nodded, "Yeah, I will." *** You giggled and playfully slapped Draco on the hand for his joke, "That's so dumb!" He chuckled back, before taking another sip of his butterbeer. "So how's this for a one month anniversary? Same place, same table. Same orders," he winked at you. You couldn't believe a whole month had passed since that first date. "It's great," you beamed back at him, "You're the best boyfriend ever." "Just wait," he grinned, pulling a small box from his pocket. "What's that?" Your eyes widened. "I got you a gift." "Aww babe! But I didn't get you anything..." He shook his head, "No, no, I don't need anything. I just wanted to get you something. I ran it by Ginny and Hermione before I bought it last week, though, to make sure you'd love it. I trust their judgement pretty well." You blinked, "Wait, but... Draco, I hadn't told Ginny about us yet." He furrowed his brow, "Really? That's weird. She didn't seemed very surprised when I walked up to her... And she didn't react oddly..." "Weird. And she didn't come talk to me about it at all," you smiled, glad she was gracious enough to not confront or be angry with you for dating Draco. "I'm sorry if I messed anything up between you..." he apologized. "No, babe, don't worry about it. Everything's fine." You leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "So what is this amazing gift that I'm going to love?" He grinned and nudged the box toward you. You bit your lip with excitement before undoing the thin green ribbon and opening the small, black box. "Oh, Draco," you whispered, slowly lifting the small heart locket that had a silver snake curling around it. "I charmed it so that the snake can move. He'll protect the inside so no one can open it unless you want them to." "What's on the inside?" You replied, your eyes lighting up. He smiled back, "Open it." You carefully lifted the lid and saw a moving picture of you and Draco kissing and laughing. "Oh my god, Draco," you replied, tears welling in your eyes, "It's so beautiful, oh my god. I love you so so much," you moved over to his seat and gave him a massive hug. "I love you too, babe," he chuckled back, "I'm so glad you like it." "I absolutely LOVE it!" You squealed back, excitedly fastening it around your neck. "I was originally planning on getting it in gold, but silver is much more Slytherin." You laughed, "As if the snake wasn't already Slytherin enough!" "Hey," he defended, jokingly, "There's nothing wrong with a little house pride! Especially not when it's where I met my wonderful, beautiful girlfriend..." You leaned in and gave him a peck on the lips, "Thank you." "I don't deserve more than that?" He teased. "Hmm..." you pretended to think about it. He pulled you onto his lap as you yelped in laughter. "Fine, fine," you giggled, before reaching over and kissing him harder. You threaded one hand into his platinum hair and slid the other one across the smooth fabric on his chest. "Y/N?!" You froze, your eyes widening with alarm, before slowly turning to see Ron. "What on earth are you doing?! And with HIM?" Your brother spat, stepping forward to attack. You reached out to stop him, "Ron, calm down, he's-" "He's fucking with you, is what he's doing! Why on earth would you trust a Malfoy?!" "Y/N has the right to make her own decisions," Draco growled, prepared to fight him back. You stood up and jumped between them before any wands could be pulled. Ron hissed, but stepped down, "That's it, Y/N! Family meeting NOW. If you don't believe me, then maybe everyone else can talk some sense into you..." *** "I mean, are you bloody kidding me?! Malfoy, the most evil git on the planet?! You had to go and date him?!" Ron exclaimed. "If he comes over to the house, that means we'll have easier access to pull pranks on him," Fred whispered to George. "I already have the perfect one in mind..." George added, a grin spreading across his face. "No!" You screeched, "No, you are not pranking my boyfriend!" "Yuck, please never call him your 'boyfriend' ever again..." "Oh, shut it, you idiots!" Ginny scoffed, "I know Draco can be an asshole..." "You can say that again," Ron rolled his eyes before crossing his arms. "Hey!" You protested. "Draco can be mean," Ginny continued, "But at the end of the day, he makes Y/N happy, and that's what's most important. So we should all try to be happy for them, even if it might feel weird to us. And, I mean, you should see him talking about her. He's practically a whole different person..." You looked at her, incredulously, "Really? So you support it?" "Of course. And really, you should've seen him when he came asking me about that," she nodded to the silver locket around your neck, "It was really sweet how much he cared about getting you a perfect gift. He's a good guy." Ron scoffed, "He's probably just pretending to be nice to trick you..." "Ron, he's not pretending! We've been dating for a whole month for Merlin's sake!" "A month?!" Fred and George said, simultaneously. "Yeah. That's what this was for," you reached down and extended your locket so they could see it better, "One month anniversary gift." You smiled as you opened it to show them the wonderful moving picture of the two of you. Ron furrowed his brow and grimaced, "You really... like him that much?" You chuckled, "Um, yeah." "But he's... awful, Y/N." "He has an awful reputation, yeah. But he's not actually like that. Besides, that reputation means he protects me. That group of Slytherins that's been bothering me in all of my classes stopped because Draco confronted them. He really does care about me." Ron crossed his arms, "Fine, whatever. But the second he tries anything, I'll kill him." You laughed and rolled your eyes, "Whatever you say." *** "Come with me," Ginny instructed Ron, taking his hand and leading him away from where he'd been talking with some other Gryffindors. "Merlin, what do you want, Ginny? I'm busy!" "No you're not," she teased, dragging him down the corridor, "It's important." Ron sighed but let her continue anyway. Ginny motioned for him to be silent before peering around a corner. Her face broke into a grin, an she quietly waved Ron over. He frowned, but shuffled to her nonetheless and followed her gaze around the corner. "... an apology for messing up things with your family," Draco was saying to you in a completely empty corridor. Your eyes lit up as he pulled a bouquet of red roses from behind his back. "First the necklace, now this?" You gasped. He shrugged, "Guess it's just the giving season." "It's March," you laughed. He bit back a smile, "I don't know. I just like giving stuff to you. I like the way your eyes sparkle with excitement. It's beautiful." You blushed before pulling him into a small kiss, "You're the sweetest boyfriend in the whole world." He smiled back before handing you the flowers. "What happened to house pride?" You giggled, jokingly nodding at color of the petals. "Red's more romantic," he winked. You chuckled before taking a big whiff of the flowers, "Mmm. You know, this is rather close to what I think amortientia would smell like. Fresh roses and your cologne." Draco didn't reply, he just looked at you with an admiring wonder at what he did to deserve you. He'd never know, surely. You were by far the most beautiful thing about his life, and every day he couldn't believe he was actually dating you. Ginny smiled and looked over at Ron before whispering, "He looks at her the same way you look at Hermione." Ron bit the inside of his cheek for a moment before nodding and whispering, "Yeah."

#draco x reader #reader x draco #draco malfoy x reader #reader x draco malfoy #draco #draco malfoy #harry potter imagine #harry potter #draco imagine #draco malfoy imagine #ron weasley imagine #weasley imagine #imagine #also umm this is the lamest title but whatever #my post #my writing

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surveysonfleek · 7 years

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512.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 27

2501. What image, scent, memory, etc. would you take with you into the dark/light, the land of dead, heaven, infinity.....? my whole existence tbh. 2502. Who is the most annoying musical artist EVER? that catch me outside girl lol. 2503. If you HAD to go to one of the following concerts, which would it be: Snow Vanilla Ice NKOTB Milli Vanilli BSB <----- easily NSYNC 2504. Do you believe in manifest destiney? what?

2505. Have you ever fallen for an email forwarding hoax (send this to 13 people and old navy will send you a $200.00(100 pound) gift card)? Do you ever think 'well, maybe...' and actually forward those damn things? never. i haven’t forwarded a chain letter in years. 2506. Let's say there are 2 schools. one for boys and one for girls. They are both supposed to offer the same facilities so that the girls and boys get equal education. Would you take this to mean that the same courses should be offered to both girls and boys or that the same amount of money should be spent on each school? i’d take it as if they’re both being offered the same courses. Imagine that in the boys school fifteen boys sign up for calculus. In the girls school only five girls sign up for calculus. Should the girls calculus class be dissolved and replaced with an easier one? no. if they have the staff they should conduct them both. if not, they should combine them. 2507. Would it bother you if you found out that the fruits, vegetables, and meat that you eat is genetically altered (in lots of cases it is!)? i’d have to research it to understand. 2508. What does this world need? love. 2509. Is there anything you do just because you want to even though it has no redeeming social value? yup. like surveys lol. 2510. If you drink what kind of drunk are you? a loud one. 2511, Do you ever 'conveniently' forget something you don't want to remember? nope. 2512. If you have any cousins are you close? none of my cousins live close to me but we all get along really well when we’re together. 2513. Are you in love with yourself (your beautiful self)? haha no. 2514. What was the first movie you got on dvd? bug’s life i think. 2515. If you're sexy and you know it clap your hands. Did you clap? nope. 2516. have you ever called a: psychic hotline? suicide crisis line? sex line? dating line? none. 2517. Have you ever placed a personal ad anywhere? nope. 2518. Do guys look good in make up? some do, it all depends on skills. 2519. What are 5 things you don't care about? soccer, golf, working, drugs and my future lol. 2520. wHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO UNTIL YOU DIE? i don’t knowww. live. 2521. What 'issue' do you think your opinion is so right about that you end up trying to sway others to your point of view? i don’t try and sway people tbh. everyone is entitled to their own opinion. i hate it when people get all preachy to me. 2522. What age do you hope to live until? over 80. or at least to see my grandkids grow up. 2523. Do you like to tie others down during sex? nope. Have you ever been tied down? i don’t think so. 2524. Do you own any "toys"? no. Do you ever use them? no. 2525. Have you ever been spanked in that sexy way? maybe a couple times. it’s not a usual thing. Have you ever spanked anyone else? no. 2526. Do these questions make you uncomfortable? no. Do you like that feeling? what feeling? Does it turn you on? no. 2527. You know those ___ for dummies books (COMPTERS FOR DUMMIES, SURFING FOR DUMMIES, GOLDF FOR DUMMIES, WICCA FOR DUMMIES)? yes. Which one do you need to reaad? life for dummies lol. 2528. What do your socks look like? they’re mostly all black. 2529. Which of these really famous music artists started their career as a mime: Alice Cooper David Bowie Bruce Springsteen Moby Jewel Frank Zappa no idea. 2530. Does love float away if you let go? i don’t think so? it probably sinks lol. 2531. Do you think that most people in today's society are: kind? calm? humble? peaceful? helpful? happy? spiritual? creative? friendly? independant? intelligent? having fun? coming up with new ideas? no to all except this. able to think for themselves? able to really connect with others? If you answered no to any of the above, why do you think that is? the world sucks, let’s be real. there are some brilliant people out there but since the question said ‘most people’, it’s a hard no from me. 2532. Do you believe that every action has a sexual motive (think Freud)? nahhh. 2533. Speaking of Freud, did you know he was on drugs (think cocaine)? i don’t know enough about his life and studies. 2534. Do you trust psychology as a valid science? to an extent. can’t comment much since i don’t know enough abou tit. 2535. ID: In Freudian theory, the division of the psyche that is totally unconscious and serves as the source of instinctual impulses and demands for immediate satisfaction of primitive needs(sex, food, agressive behavior, drugs, alcohol, yelling, anger, fighting). SUPEREGO: In Freudian theory, the division of the unconscious that is formed through the internalization of moral standards of parents and society, and that censors and restrains the ego. So, which one do you express more, your ID or your SUPEREGO? idk. i’m too tired to think right now. 2536. Do you think that people who are alone and depressed are depressed because they are alone or alone because they are depressed? it can go both ways. 2537. Can you complete any of the following lyrics: I stop and I stare too much, afraid that I care too much... You're a new and better man, he helps youtounderstand,He does everything he can, he's.... Took the needles from my arms and put them to the sky... Top Gun shut down your Firm like Tom Cruise.... Don't you take it so hard now, And please don't take it so bad.... i don’t think i know any of these. 2538. How about these? From around the way, born in '73, Harcore B-boy named... And this feeling shivers down your spine, Love comes in colors I can't deny.... Before he hung up the phone he took a deep breath, stopped, and replied.... When I want you in my arms, when I want you and all your charms, whenever I want you all I have to do is... Silly games that you were playing, empty words we both were saying... 2539. Have you ever been to see a ballet? nope. 2540. What is the differance between Satan and Pan? i have no idea. 2541. What should a poem be or do if it is a sucessful poem? evoke thought or emotion. 2542. When you interpret a poem can each line mean anything you want it to? yes. 2543. Are you an orgasm addict? haha no. i love it but i wouldn’t say i’m an ‘addict’. 2544. Are you a sugar junkie? no. 2545. WHAT are you DOING? this. WHY aren't you marching in line with the rest of them? ooookay... 2546. Do you only hear what you want to? nope. 2547. Are you anal-retentive? i don’t think so. 2548. In and Out Over and Under Around and ??? about? lol. 2549. What was the last thing you returned to the store? a candle. 2550. Why ask why? why not? 2551. What is your favorite song or artist that is: jazz: metal: rock: new wave: psychedelic: eh, idk for all. 2552. What are your feelings about: Picasso? love his style. Van Gogh? good paintings lol. Michaelangelo? incredible attention to detail. Da Vinci? cool. Einstein? smart. Tesla? cool cars lol. tbh i don’t know much about the inventor. 2553. Who else can you think of that made a MAJOR contribution to art or science? anyone and everyone who contributed to everything we have today. 2554. Who can you think of that made a major contribution to modern thought? idk. 2555. Why is it called 'coca cola'? no clue. 2556. Would you ever buy a Ford car? i used to have one. 2557. Donald or Daffy duck? donald. 2558. What is the most memorable thing about Pee-Wee Herman? never watched his stuff. 2559. Lease or buy a car? buy. 2560. Have you met Real Talkin' Bubba? no. Do you love him to death? - 2561. Have you ever been in a situation where you weren't sure if you were seducing or being seduced? nope. 2562. Can you 'pinch an inch' on your belly? yep lol. 2563. Have you ever been to: a temple? yes. a bar? yes. a massage parlor? yes. 2564. Would you ever want to visit Thailand? i wouldn’t mind it. 2565. What culture are you fascinated by? japanese. 2566. Have you ever worn a cape? probably. 2567. What is the difference between 'nude' and 'naked'? haha i’m not sure. 2568. What can you get for a dollar (.59 british pounds)? a soft serve from maccas. 2569. What makes you who you are? my dna. 2570. How do you search for meaning in life? idk. 2571. If your partner collected internet porn pics of celebs s/he thought was hot would that bother you? yeah, it would be kinda weird if he collected it. 2572. You are alone with your lover's diary. What do you do? flick through it hahaha. 2573. You read some and find out that a whhhiiillle back your lover had a crush on someone else, but you two were together. You both still hang out with this person. What do you do? question him to clear the air. 2574. Are you an old fart? no. 2575. What were your favorite things to do in the yard as a kid? ride my bike, pretend my yard was another world, play with a ball, jump rope etc. 2576. Why don't people have more fun? idk, maybe they have other things to worry about. 2577. Have you ever wanted to have a pet skinned and turned into an article of clothing? hell no. What pet? What article of clothing? 2578. Do I come off sounding normal, mildly irrational, blatently insane or completely certifiable? none lol. 2579. Did you ever feel that you were unable to function in society? not really. 2580. Is it nap time yet? very soon. 2581. Do you have to have the space next to the door or can you walk from the other end of the parking lot and still be okay with the world? let’s be real, the closer the parking spot to the entrance, the better. 2582. Do you like trains? i hate them. 2583. What's in Hungary? budapest. 2584. Have you ever felt like you were holding someone else back? no. Has someone ever held you back? kinda. 2585. What do you think of the term, 'organized religion'? nothing really. 2586. What do you think of the name 'Orson'? sounds very old timey. 2587. What frustrates you? people. 2588. Winkin, Blinkin and Nod, one night, sailed off in a sea of dew.. cool. 2589. Is ten dollars (5 pounds) a good price to pay for one lipstick? yes. Does anyone else remember when lipstick was, like, 2 or 3 bucks? no. 2590. Are you ill? no. 2591. Where were you the night of.....oh hell, last night? working. 2592. Do you pronounce the 'er' sound at the end of words(lookER or lookA)? the australian way. 2593. Do you drink only 100% juice? nope. 2594. Do you remember the bills you have to pay...or even yesterday? yes. 2595. What duck? donald. 2596. Do you collect coins? no. How about stamps? no. 2597. wHAT'S the best way to learn a new language? duolingo or a class. 2598. Is god in you? maybe. 2599. Are you in god? maybe. 2600. Do you know which fork to use at a formal table setting? the most outer fork first lol.

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

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beatconductor-blog · 7 years

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Today at 12:35 AM

beatconductor hey uh can i ask you a question

deadramchild yes y0u can

beatconductor oh hey hope im not distracting you from anything or whatever anyway does your dad hate me

deadramchild y0u are n0t

beatconductor or is he always like that or i just dont know how to deal with him like

deadramchild i d0nt think he d0es n0

beatconductor mr deuce and boxcars are pretty chill to be around i mean i have no doubt that they could wreck shit but theyre just yanno kinda buddy like

deadramchild well they are certainly easier t0 get al0ng with yes why exactly d0 y0u think he hates y0u?

beatconductor and then theres mr stabby stab slick whos a little inpredictable like he seems like the kinda guy that might stab you for saying the wrong word or just shrug it off depending on the mood but idk your dad is kind of something else no offense he just gives me the chills

deadramchild haha he d0es have that effect 0n pe0ple y0u are right ab0ut slick t00

beatconductor so is that not just me

deadramchild n0

beatconductor i mean its rare that my fear is stronger than my stupidity but just fuck dont tell him i told you that alright

deadramchild but im curi0us did he d0 s0methig that made y0u think he hates y0u?

beatconductor uh doesnt matter its more all the stuff he doesnt say

deadramchild yes it d0es l00k... he is n0t g0ing t0 actually hurt y0u he d0esnt hate y0u and he has n0 reas0n t0

beatconductor if you say so

deadramchild he kn0ws that y0u are 0n friendly terms with with deuce and b0xcars and friends with me and the 0thers he w0uldnt hurt y0u with0ut a damn g00d reas0n n0t physically that is but i cant deny that he is a danger0us man 0bvi0usly he is

beatconductor not physically

deadramchild he likes t0 play games

beatconductor you might think thats kind of reassuring but thats like the opposite of that id deal with a direct open threat on my life better than this

deadramchild 0h i kn0w that

beatconductor like shit man the about of times karkat told me hed stab me and i know he would

deadramchild but i want t0 be h0nest with y0u

beatconductor and were still bros ah damn it

deadramchild well let me try t0 explain a little better he enj0ys hmm... teasing pe0ple? he likes t0 get a reacti0n 0ut 0f y0u and at the same time he is testing y0u hes perfectly aware that y0u have relati0ns t0 the felt t00

beatconductor aw man of course he does i mean

deadramchild and while he d0esnt 0utright distrust y0u just f0r that (i mean his b0yfriends br0ther is a number) it still takes m0re t0 gain his n0t quite trust

beatconductor well im not expecting him to ever trust me just

deadramchild he d0esnt fully trust a l0t 0f pe0ple th0ugh

beatconductor yeah thats what i need in my life even more mind games

deadramchild im s0rry 0n0

beatconductor eh whatever

deadramchild i really am

beatconductor its not your fault dont apologize

deadramchild i d0nt want t0 sugarc0at things th0ugh

beatconductor so what should i just give him the reaction he wants or play it all stoic and aloof

deadramchild im n0t sure what reacti0n he wants?

beatconductor alright i can work with that

deadramchild i think any reacti0n that isnt betraying us in any way is a right 0ne is this ab0ut uhm what happened the 0ther night? what he said ab0ut y0ur little kitty friend?

beatconductor urgh yeah thats definitely the most recent and glaring one

deadramchild well that0ne was really just a win/win situati0n f0r him... he likes teasing her

beatconductor oh great

deadramchild and he kn0ws perfectly well that y0u tw0 are an item s0 it was the perfect 0ppurtunity f0r him t0 test y0ur l0yality

beatconductor i see well at least i didnt completely fuck that one up huh

deadramchild n0 the situati0n is c0mplicated the situati0n with her i mean i guess y0u sh0uld really ask her if y0u want any uhm details 0n what happened im n0t sure if he wants y0u t0 j0in us p0ssibly y0u are useful and we always need m0re pe0ple but regardless i think this is his way 0f tryin t0 sh0w y0u what happens when y0u ch00se the felt 0ver us n0w he may be my father but i cant actually read his mind s0 keep in mind that im 0nly guessing here t00

beatconductor wow ok message received i am now kinda let this get too much to me caught me off guard i guess

deadramchild i d0nt think s0mething like that can n0t get t0 y0u i kind 0f want t0 ap0l0gize f0r n0t being ar0und t0 help y0u but thats s0rt 0f silly isnt it? and we b0th kn0w y0u w0uldnt have accepted any help i c0uld have 0ffered anyways

beatconductor dunno considering who i work with i should know better

deadramchild mind y0u im n0t saying that t0 shame y0u its just a fact

beatconductor what oh yeah dont worry i mean there were people i just didnt want to hear any of that idk next time maybe

deadramchild i mean i kn0w y0ure a big b0y y0u can have y0ur mental breakd0wns all 0n y0ur 0wn i still wish i c0uld have helped but y0ure 0kay s0 thats all that matters i guess

beatconductor hah yeah thanks how do i politely tell everyone else that ive been doing this long enough to know me

deadramchild i d0nt kn0w "hell0 ive been a huge mess f0r 25 years n0w i kn0w the drill but thanks f0r caring"?

beatconductor damn thats spot on

deadramchild "s0rry i am currently n0t em0ti0nally capable t0 deal with y0u w0rrying 0n t0p 0f this leave a message after the beep?

beatconductor hah i mean basically thats it alright

deadramchild im sure they will understand 0r at least try t0 they cant help w0rrying th0ugh i w0uld be lying if i said im n0t w0rried but i trust y0u en0ugh that y0u will at least keep y0ur stupid ass alive and c0me t0 me when y0u are ready at least i h0pe s0 i mean y0u s0rt 0f did

beatconductor yeah idk considering im still alive after all maybe im secretly immortal or some shit

deadramchild id rather n0t have y0u test that the0ry y0u d0nt want me t0 yell at y0ur gh0st d0 y0u?

beatconductor im usually trying not to you know dying and being stuck as ghost is kinda the worst i can imagine but the thought of you yelling at my ghost butt kinda sweetens that but you can do that while im still alive so

deadramchild i didnt even yell at y0u s0 far ...n0 wait i did after y0u sh0wed me anime being stuck as a gh0st sure d0es s0und unpleasant i h0pe the actual afterlife is nice th0ugh

beatconductor no afterlife would be nicer i know some poor sap stuck all alone in some kinda eternal limbo i mean shit that sucks doesnt even have any demons and satans to torture him for his sins or something just his nest and my idiot ass dunno if its like that for everyone that ever dies i sure hope not

deadramchild maybe y0u are the dem0n t0rturing him that s0unds really weird are y0u sure y0u didnt just dream that

beatconductor oh yeah thank you well dunno id think so too but that means im kinda hallucinating chatting to him all day too and thats getting kinda awkward

deadramchild very awkward...

beatconductor so yyeah

deadramchild well i guess i cant judge

beatconductor im pretty sure hes real i hope so

deadramchild even if he is imaginary

beatconductor dont make me doubt myself here ok

deadramchild well it t00k a while t0 realize that im actually hearing the dead instead just being well insane

beatconductor well see i got over that phase much quicker

deadramchild thats g00d have fun with y0ur dead friend

beatconductor yeah thanks im trying he seems more pleasant than your average visitor i mean usually its me whos haunting him

deadramchild hes n0t just a v0ice either i assume s0 that already makes him better c0mpany

beatconductor yeah probably

deadramchild s0unds like y0u ike y0ur dead friend thats g00d

beatconductor yeah i mean dreams with him are pretty alright

deadramchild thats g00d perhaps y0u sh0uld sleep s0me m0re then

beatconductor you know im trying man i wish i could bug the hell out of my friends every night

deadramchild haha maybe y0u can dream visit me t00? y0u sh0uld try m0stly because im heading t0 bed n0w try t0 sleep s0me dave g00d night

beatconductor do you really want that believe me you dont want me on your sleep too im enough of a menace when awake but if i ever find out how to you can bet your ass im gonna haunt your dreams

#logs #deadramchild #talldarkloathsome #for mention #ooc #pvt #long post #sry @ mobile users

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vinilsoup · 4 years

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ok so this is a vent post caus is 2am and i woke up in pain, and im sad. Under the read more bc probably will be negative

My whole life has been a big mess. My parents were old and had an overly anxious kid (me), my mom had depression and treated me as an equal and not as a fucking child and i didnt have maturity to deal with her problems, and i started showing signs of depression really early. But instead of getting me into theraphy they put me into meds, and they always blamed me for my bad behaviator once I hit like 10 yo but like they only listened to me and my problems if i made a big deal abt it otherwise it was brushed off. They always complained to me that people said I was spoiled and it was true and somehow it was my fault and not theirs. I always felt that if I never had been born they would be happier, bc I only caused trouble and didn’t exactly knew what I did wrong. If they were in a good mood, they wouldn’t even be mad, but if I did the same thing in a bad day it was suddently a big deal.

That would have been enought to traumatize me for a long time, but idk i guess i pissed off some god or something in a past life bc I literally had to see my mother suffer a long and painful death at a hospital when I was 14. I was very close to her and the only reason I didn’t started trying to kill myself earlier is bc she was able to calm me down always, not sure how. From her death foward my life goes to complete shit. Had only one person i was able to get close to after that, and it was a pretty toxic friendship for both of us(nowadays its my best friend but i cant deny the bad past). I was also very very lonely, didnt get along with my father bc my mom used to paint him as a monster to me and i still believed that and ended up blaming him for her death which i feel really bad abt bc he was literelly depressed after her death. He told me multiple times I was the reason he was still alive, the worst part is that my mom used to say the same thing for me while I was growing up. So when she died I literally felt I had no reason to be alive anymore.

Oh yeah and I was born into the mormon church lmao and when my mom died i started to slowly stop going to the church activities and they got mad at me bc of it like ???? when I decided to stop going, the bishop came into my house without calling, just showed at the door, and told me even if I kept following the church rules,I would still not get to heaven bc I wasn’t going every sunday. I had told him before that i still believed it but I didn’t feel like going anymore bc I got home depressed every time I stepped into that church. After that, I wasnt able to pray for about a year bc i was terrified god would tell me to go back to the church and i didn’t want that to happen. I felt like I was going to go to hell if god was real, bc i really used to believe the mormon shit.

When things started to get better, when me and my dad started getting along and I had finally found good doctors to help me with my suicidal tendendcies (I literally tried to kill myself every month for like 2 years), my dad died. I had just turned 18. I have several issues because of trauma. I can’t trust people, I always think they’re with me bc I agree with everything and people will hate me if I don’t. I still have a lot of trouble with sexual themes bc of the mormon, i feel like i can’t slight inconvenience people or they will hate me, i feel responsable for other people hapiness, and still am not able to find I reason I want to live, I always think to live for other people, I care too much about what other people think, I’m overly sensitive, I can’t stand up for myself without feeling I’m wrong, and usually I have a panic attack if I have to stabilish boundaries with someone who disrespects me. I don’t know how to fix this. I’m trying, but its so hard to not be afraid of other people.

The good part is that I stopped trying to kill myself every month, but it still happens ocasionally. But its still very hard to me to believe things will get better, like from the beginning my life wasnt easy, and it only got harder, I absolutely still feel like my mental illness is my fault and I’m not trying hard enought to ‘beat it”. Its just so unfair, I am not able to be dependable on other people bc i feel like i can’t, i feel like i can’t be a burden and i always isolate myself. I’ve been in quarantine completely alone the last 5 months, and don’t have money to go see my family, and they seem like they don’t want me to go see them anyway. I live far from all my friends. I know this is a very bad thing but sometimes my friends tell me about their problems and I can’t take it seriously after all I’ve been thought. I try to, bc i know what is like to not have you problems be taken seriously bc people think its not a big deal. Im very sensitive and never had my feelings taken seriously.

Like, Im supposed to believe it gets better?? It was always been hard, and I havent been able to actually enjoy life. Life was always painful and unkind to me. I had a friend who said he enjoyed life and I remember thinking he was insane, I didn’t understand, I thought life was shitty to everyone, but then I saw it wasn’t. Some people are happy. Some people don’t even have big problems. I never saw that friend of mine complain about anything. I feel bad about it bc i remember getting genuinely angry abt it, and I shouldnt be angry that other people have a good life, but I genuinely don’t understand why some people are so happy and in the other hand some people are so miserable. And I know I don’t have it that bad. It could be worse.

I’ve been dealing with my mental health my whole life, but most of the time I feel like I’m too broken to be fixed. That I never will have a life that makes me feel that being alive is worth it, because to me being alive feels like a sacrifice, it always felt. I’m scared, what if I’m never able to move foward? I don’t know if I have the strenght to fix by myself everything I have been throught. Ever since I was a kid I always said that I didn’t asked to be born and it stands to this day. I still feel responsible for my unhapiness, but I didnt ask to be me. I feel like if i was another person, id be able to deal better with all of this.

I know its a very negative point of view, but right now its how i feel. I’m just tired, very tired.

#tw death mention #negative #vent post #trauma #This is like very personal but i dont really care if anyone reads it

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scottmapess · 4 years

Text

BITCOIN ABOUT TO SUFFER FROM US FEDERAL RESERVES CRAZY DECISION! Is your bank account safe??!!

VIDEO TRANSCRIPT

Mortgages, necessities, car payments. Bitcoin’s one of the last things that they’re going to buy is any of anything. If these guys are holding Bitcoin, they’re going to liquidate to pay for what they need to take care of most and hopefully do it soon because at some point you won’t be able to do that very easily. Who else looks in the mirror and says, I need a haircut? I know every damn day I look in the mirror now. I need a haircut. I need a haircut. Getting back, I started hang over the years a little bit. I just can’t hang with that. Can’t hang with it. You know, you guys who have hairdressers and people like barbers that live with you. Has a lucky guy. Just don’t know what you got until it’s gone. And of course, I know a haircut is probably just something stupid to complain about compared to some of the other things that we just don’t have right now because of the lockdowns. Basic doctor appointments right now are so hard for people to get. If you’re neither dead nor dying, it’s like it’s hard to get into a doctor. You know, it’s very it’s just insane. Everything is insane. But here today, today, we’re that’s what we’re to talk about. We are going to talk about insanity. We don’t talk about the craziness. We’re gonna talk about just like the woe factor of the market and bitcoin and just everything going on. Let’s just have that kind of conversation. Let’s lead off with this. My tweet, I put it earlier today, every banking institution in the world uses fractional reserve banking. You deposit one hundred percent. The bank uses 90 percent. And 10 percent of your actual money is reserved. The Fed and all central banks put I don’t know, I put out it’s supposed to be put put the reserve to zero. OK. The reserve is zero. This will bleed all markets, including Bitcoin. Now we’ll explain how it can be bitcoin here in a second. But yes, basically, if you deposit this, imagine right now you’ve got millions of dollars in the bank. Okay. Let’s pull Donald Trump. Millions and millions and millions of dollars. Thank God I can’t do that. Well. I can’t sound like that much of a crazy person. But imagine if you had millions of dollars in the bank right now and you find their fractional reserve is at zero. Has to trust the FDIC to insure that money. That’s actually just really insane. And many of you right now are saying, well, bitcoin is the answer. Bitcoin is the answer. No. Bitcoin clearly has not been the answer. Okay. Bitcoin has not been the safe haven to go and put your money. Okay. As a store of value. But what Bitcoin has been is the safe haven to move your money from one country to another, which we’re going to address that also. Okay. I won’t tell you what’s going to happen to bitcoin. Twenty twenty is going to impact bitcoin and even your bitcoin bitcoin you have in your wallet. It’s going to impact that bitcoin too. We’ll explain how that’s going to happen. But going back to the tweet game with this federal fractional reserve just basically going to zero, there’s no fractional reserve, no reserves there. This is chaotic. That means the money that’s in the bank, the money you put in the bank, zero reserves on that. This is going to bleed the markets. Why is this going to bleed the markets? Because of the irresponsibility. Right now, what we’re seeing is a synthetic solution to fight the corona virus. That’s what the stock market that’s what the Fed is doing. The Fed is trying to fight this virus by synthetic means, by manipulation, by doing things that you can say are very unethical, things that are high risk. And these actions are causing investors, especially investors, a lot of money, gay to be actually a lot more conservative. And yeah, you might be saying, well, the stock market’s increase in stock market’s done. Well, this is true. It has done very well. But how much money that we print. Think about this. In 2008 when we had the market crash of 2008. We did quantitative easing that we did now, but nothing compared to what we’re doing right now. The Wall Street market cap rate is like twenty two or twenty three trillion dollars. Eleven trillion of that. Eleven trillion of that 22 to 23 trillion dollar market cap is quantitative easing money. Now, think about that for a second. That funny money, that quantitative easing money was used to hold that market up. It’s exactly what we’re seeing happen right now. It’s all synthetic. Your investors, your people and you people aren’t done right. You’re real. Investors aren’t dumb. This is all being held up synthetically. Something else you think about a case, we have all this quantitative easy money coming into the market, pumping the prices, holding things steady. They have unemployment at 17 million in three weeks, 17 million Americans. That’s just Americans. Can you imagine what the unemployment rate is around the world? A third, a third of renters, United States, one third of renters were unable to make their rent this month. They estimate that it was almost the same amount of commercial renters that could do the same thing, either make their store front rent. I mean, it is insane what is happening. It’s just a matter of time before these numbers, these numbers start to catch up to the B.S. We saw that happen in 2008. When the market was crashing, right? Nothing was nothing was really. The markets weren’t reflecting what was actually happening. It got to a certain point. We just couldn’t deny it anymore. That was becoming very blatantly clear that the market was held up as strictly manipulation. The same thing is going to happen again. And this is where it’s going to bleed us. You see, they take that fractional reserves as zero banks are taking that money and utilizing that money to pump up things synthetically that things are still going to fall. But these things don’t benefit you. They benefit your bigger corporations. Right. And they’re going to bleed. They’re going to start to bleed. And as we have seen, every time the traditional market starts to bleed, the crypto market bleeds as well. So if you think Bitcoin is going to walk away from this unscathed, I’m telling you right now, this system right here, fractional reserve banking going to zero, will slowly trickle as way down to the bitcoin market. It will and is going to hurt Joska, I think, as people start losing their asses. Where are they going to come up with the money to really go buy bitcoin when they have other things to take care of? Mortgages, necessities, car payments? Bitcoin is one of the last things that they’re going to buys. And if anything, if these guys are holding bitcoin, they’re going to liquidate to pay for what they need to take care of most and hopefully do it soon because at some point you won’t be able to do that very easily. Now, many of you guys right now probably sit there thinking, why are you so bearish right now in Bitcoin whenever everything you’re saying solidifies the case for Bitcoin? Well, yes, it’s true. Bitcoin can’t have these problems. It can’t exist. These problems cannot exist. But there is a massive weakness in Bitcoin that’s created by all of us because our focus is to get wealthy with USD, with bitcoin, not wealthy with bitcoin, meaning everyone wants one bitcoin hit a million dollars. Everyone’s a bitcoin be worth a hundred thousand dollars. It’s very hypocritical to sit there, say the one thing that’s a solution needs to be tied to the problem, and that’s how you going to measure your level of wealth. Everyone says, well, one bitcoin is going to be my retirement planning is one bitcoins to be worth a great amount of money. But you’re still you’re still perpetuating that broken system. Now, if you think Bitcoin itself isn’t broken, that’s not true. Bitcoin. Okay, the price of bitcoin is actually heavily determined by this entity right here. bitfinex bitfinex is one of the is the entity basically with USD. They own USD USD. T is the backbone OK for bitcoin? It is our fed, it is USD. She acts as her fed. Inflating is as necessary. You print more USD T to pump that into the markets. You increased prices of bitcoin. I feel like all this chaos owes me correct bitcoin. It is. Bitcoin is in for a massive correction and I really don’t think that I personally don’t think at the end of this bitcoin ID be lucky if you very lucky to be able to sustain a $3000 price point. And again, many of you guys write me saying all you’re crazy, you’re crazy. A lot of people buying. No, no, there’s not. There’s not enough people buying it. There really isn’t. I’m a show you something right now. Okay. This is off Mazari. This is where people go when they want actual factual numbers on what’s happening with Bitcoin. I want you to look at this. Bynum’s BTC USD t you’re telling me that is the backbone right now of bitcoin? You are telling me that seven seven hundred M.E. Almost a billion freaking dollars is pumping through 24 hours in the past 24 hours. Unbind and USD. Come on. Come on, guys. Look at the closest competitor coinbase right now at one hundred forty three million. Now you might be saying all the agents trade the trades. I create a trade like crazy. The Corona virus has got a massive grip right now on the Asian market. Okay. Yeah. You want to watch the news? Believe news. Great. But you need to look into people who are actually there. Did you know 21 million cell phones disappeared off their networks a few weeks ago? Twenty one million. That’s 21 million people. They disconnected from having any kind of outreach. I’m telling you what’s happening there is really, really not good. It’s not. It’s very bad. It’s a matter of fact that Chinese economy right now is being held up by PPE, personal protective equipment. They’re selling off medical devices and medical equipment around the world. And COBA 19 testing around the world is actually what’s holding them up. Every country, a nation is rethinking their relationship with China already making moves. Pull things out. Look at Japan. Japan said, hey, listen, you know what? We’re going to spend billions of dollars to get our produce, our producers, our factories, our manufacturers out of China. Here’s some free money. Come back home. Let’s do this. You can see that same song happen around the world. People are going to pull out of China. China will not be the manufacturing king of the world after this. Right now, a lot of these people know that what you’re seeing with BTC USD T, this is it’s it’s the same damn thing the Fed is doing. Okay. This is not. It’s very synthetic. It is synthetic. And it’s necessary because so many of these projects right now, especially finance, is dependent on the price of bitcoin being up. And if you think that the big guys right now, the big giants, not crypto space, are you thinking, oh, bian’s is too big, nothing will happen to them, they’re not going to bleed. Nothing’s gonna happen to them. They’re not going to lose. Well, you talk about why are they going to. Why are they going to pump this? I’ma tell you why. Because organically, what’s happening? They’re bleeding bitcoins. They are bleeding bitcoins, just like all your other giants are. Look a bit Max has been leading bitcoin since black Thursday. Since black there is a bit mixed. Users have withdrawn bitcoin from their exchanges in droves. A March 13 bit held three hundred six thousand eight hundred fourteen bitcoins by April 9th. This summer had dropped to two hundred twenty two thousand twenty five bitcoin. This represents a 38 percent decrease in bitcoin holdings, guys. That is massive. Can you do the math on that? Can you do the math on just how big of a number that is? I guarantee you right now I know is actually for a fact. I don’t know anyone personally and finance, but I know people from other exchanges. Okay, bigger exchanges. I promote a pretty big one on a constant basis. People are taking their bitcoin off of exchanges. People are don’t trust it right now. Is so much uncertainty, which is why you’re seeing bitcoin wall addresses go up because people are taking them off. The exchanges are just kind of like locking them now, like, OK, I don’t know what’s going to happen here. I don’t know how this is going get liquid. I don’t there’s too much uncertainty. People don’t trust the exchanges. There’s a lot less trading happened. Look at levers, trading platforms, for instance. They’re just their volumes are being shot. There’s not enough retail money coming in to really, really hold things up. Here’s what’s really funny. Bismack CEO hearthrug through Arthur Hayes guy, he actually said that this year Bitcoin was going a retest with $3000 region aerosol. No, it’s not going to do that. You’re just playing a game because you’re gonna go long. And everyone went long thinking that he was playing a game. He wasn’t dead. The three thousand our region. Now he is saying that Bitcoin is likely to drop between twenty one hundred and three thousand dollar range. And I do not disagree with him because I think what’s going to happen. All right. I’m very certain of this year see stocks plunge. I agree with them. Stocks are going to plunge. Okay. Right now, the Fed is holding things up with quantitative easing money, funny money, monopoly money, fake money to hold things up, allowing the big guys position themselves to strategize themselves. And then you’re going to see a massive dump in the market. You will you’re gonna see a massive dump in the market, because the data clearly says people don’t have money to spend right now and the government is too busy trying to give away free money. And the people are going to take that free money and spend it on necessity and not on the things that they don’t need right now. Things have really changed. The price of Bitcoin is going to get smacked around by this. I think a lot of people, especially your smarter investors, are taking advantage of this and say, you know what? It’s time to time to play it safe. Now, my look on the price of bitcoin is that this is my short to mid-term. I do believe absolutely do believe long term the rise of Bitcoin. Pick a number. I mean, you know, in a five year timeline, pick a number. We’ll probably hit their 10-Year line time, not a 10 year timeline payment. Speak straight. Pick a number. We will probably hit there. It’s very likely thing. It’s how Bitcoin works by think short term. I think so many people are gonna get crushed by the happing as a minor. As me talking to other miners, I’d tell you right now. Everybody is bearish. People are liquidating their equipment right now. They’re liquidating their equipment because right now they weren’t anticipating. It’s just not going to be profitable. So liquidate the equipment because there’s money there. Cause you can always buy back after the halfling is. Now you’re more liquid. Right. So, I mean, it’s it’s I don’t know. I can’t I don’t know how to communicate to you guys that the price of bitcoin is being bet against. So. Listen, that’s all I have for today. A lot of chaos out there. A lot of synthetic solutions to a real problem out there. How is all this going to end? I think with a whole new way of life personally, that’s how I personally see it. I think a whole new way of life. As a matter of fact, you want to interesting read Google Disney CEO. Disney CEO. And there’s a should be an article in there talking about his thoughts on what’s going to happen with businesses after this. Then it’s kind of funny is I don’t think he’s wrong. Like even the Disney Corporation is talking about, we’re going to do this. We get back to work with less people because we don’t actually need all these people. We don’t actually need all these buildings, you know? You know, I’m saying they’ve spent too much money on real estate. They just don’t need. And that’s the truth. They’re. It’s just not just a Disney corporation’s, it’s complex, but I have so many satellite buildings here and there. I think that’s the new way of life. That’s something new you and I see is a lot. I think commercial real estate is going to be hit the hardest on this. I think business is going to be more at home productive. I do. I think it’s gonna be a whole like a lifestyle change for the globe. I do think it’ll be for the better. I do. I think all of us were ready for something different. You know, really are not just not just from a lockdown, just from the way things actually have been. So, I mean, I think long term, I think there’s a lot of positive things that come out of this. Honestly, I do. I know it sounds kind of crazy, but I think long term, even for Bitcoin knows me a lot of good things that come out of this. Listen, that’s all I’ve got for today. I know this is kind of a rant by decide to share all this stuff. So, yeah, hopefully all the guys are are safe. Keep your family safe. Hopefully guys won’t look like me with a big bushy hair. And yeah, until next time he’s out.

source https://www.cryptosharks.net/bitcoin-about-to-suffer-from-us-federal-reserves/ source https://cryptosharks1.blogspot.com/2020/04/bitcoin-about-to-suffer-from-us-federal.html

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heatherrdavis1 · 4 years

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BITCOIN ABOUT TO SUFFER FROM US FEDERAL RESERVES CRAZY DECISION! Is your bank account safe??!!

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Via https://www.cryptosharks.net/bitcoin-about-to-suffer-from-us-federal-reserves/

source https://cryptosharks.weebly.com/blog/bitcoin-about-to-suffer-from-us-federal-reserves-crazy-decision-is-your-bank-account-safe

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