#and why does it feel like its healing me ???

[ciderjacks]

ik everyone and their mother has said this already but I appreciate how many episodes of puppet history focus on non-white stories and are both respectful and dont just focus on mass suffering at the hands of white people, and when they do have episodes involving that they still make sure to focus on the people fighting back and not just "oh this horrible thing was done, sad!"

Also I appreciate how Shane makes an effort to pronounce shit correctly, and to be respectful of people's cultures and spirituality, and to find lesser known stories from these cultures. It's always cool to go into the comments and see people who usually don't see their history or people acknowledged talking about how happy the episode made them.

#I hope he does an episode on ndn history I feel like it would heal the part of me who had to sit through 30000 white history teachers #all telling the same story #as good as it is to be in a time where colonization and native people get acknowledged beyond the basic “they were there and then we were!” #bs it's also like. ive had several times where ive had to step out in class bc my white teacher was talking about how white people #slaughtered ppl like me. in horrific horrific detail. some stories which still haunt me. #I know much of our history is soaked in tragedy but I would be happy to see a puppet history episode talking about what we did divorced fro #the white man or at least. what we did when we werent being betrayed and raped and murdered. yk. cause i feel like thats literally all #people know about us. its probably a reason why so many white americans think we're not around anymore haha #if I could commission a puppet history episode i'd commission one on ndn history tbh #sorry tags got ranty #puppet history #shane madej

[perfectly-clear-from-here]

i know literally no one asked but lads it's been like 6 odd years since I've listened to twenty one pilots but now I'm obsessed with them again AND I FEEL LIKE IM BLOODY 12 YEARS OLD AGAIN. AHHHHHHHHH??

#is this what healing your inner child feels like? probably not BUT ITS STILL ALOT #your first band obsession stays in a very special corner of your heart ill tell you that much #WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH THOUGH?? #anyway GUESS WHO GOT TICKETS TO GO SEE THEM WHOS COMING WITH ME 🗣🗣🗣🗣 #listening to them again has actual brought back a tsunami of memories from when i was a wee kid tho and MANNNNNN #never beating the weird kid allegations 🙏 #they paved the way for my milex obsession genuinely. #twenty one pilots

[captainshyguy]

i do wish that people hadnt been so rabidly critical and vicious towards steven universe back in the day, because now it feels like u cant discuss any parts of the show u didnt like without getting lumped in with those guys lol

#like idk man i liked the show a bunch #but i did also fall off becayse like. yeah i can see the tragjectory of the show now! #i can see that it was always gona be about this broken family of the diamonda and all that #but like. idk man. i tend to prefer when we focus on the little guys #and yeah we did do some of that. but that (planned) swerve near the end there really lost my interest #like i know rose being pink does make her infiitely more complex and its a fine choice to make but it still didnt do anythng for me #i still would have mich preferred to focus on the corrupted gems #on the people with no power in this struggle #its lik how i understand that the diamonds are basically a metaphor for someones like. bigoted aunt or something #but that still doent mean that i like that the people who razed dozens of planets to the ground were given time and priority #over the footsoldiers man!!! #like yes yes i get it its a metaphor its a escalation what else where they gonan do but like idk man i can still not like that turn!! #i can still wish they just....idk overthrew them or bubbled them or something. idk pull an anndrias from aphibia. community service lol #i can still wish that steven had healed the corrupted gems like it felt like it was foreshadowed #(since. yknw. rose can heal physical things- and stevne can a bit too but he can astral project into -peoples minds.) #and the corruption was an inury of the mind first and formost. #like. why would u set that up and not do that jgsnsgknkjdnjkgds #i can stil lthink the proportion inconsistenies were weird and too me out of the moment #eh idk its frustrating #like it feels like u say somehng like this and u have one guy going 'ikr the ahow SUCKED steven shoulda KLLED THEM' #and another going 'omg its a KIDS SHOW SHUT UP FORVER NO CRITICSM' #abd im sitting here in the middle like i tihnk theres some nuance here lads. i think we can habe a middle ground #luke rambles

[skz-miroh]

so what does it say about me that everything I hyperfixated on between the ages of 11 - 14 I am now back to hyperfixating on??

#and why does it feel like its healing me ??? #I need answers #this is about something very specific #but like I feel like I’m allowed to just like these things now and not be ashamed and how I can just express it freely #oversharing on the internet? more likely than you think #hyperfixations #youtube #kpop #anime #music #science side of tumblr #can you please answer this for me #is this what people mean by healing their inner child?

[hecksupremechips]

Fucked up how happy I get whenever I make content of Shinjiro Aragaki being actually loved and getting to heal and learning to love the little things in life and getting to express himself. What’s up with that

#persona #shinjiro aragaki #hes the only one i really respect here #its like so annoying though that i even care like whats wrong with me why does this bother me so much #just cuz i see myself in this character and also feel like shit and idk when he doesnt even get to live doesnt get to recover #and this is treated as a good game with a profound theme and this is treated as good writing #its hard not to be hurt when its like. im barely hanging on man #and youre telling me he can be saved by someone noticing him and caring about him and he can get through it and be loved and try to heal #but this is treated as some sorta disservice to the narrative and that you cant have the theme work this way #its like. but this is the only way i can even feel anything about this theme this actually makes me wanna try #seeing the character going through mental issues like mine die just like. it makes things suck idk #and its like why do i even care like this shouldnt matter but idk its like #if he can make it then why cant i #and im just really attached to this and i really really want to make my fic of him exist cuz. nothing is going good for me rn #but if i can make this one thing thats important to me where someone gets to recover then maybe ill feel less helpless #its what im trying to tell myself so i can stop feeling like im. idk cringe or something cuz im emotionally attached to a fictional #character and the wellbeing of this character feels like motivation for me #i just wish i wasnt so damn desperate about it 😩 #anyway can someone please slap me with a fish so i can stop being insecure about my writing and just fucking do it

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#listen. sometimes. when i get emails pertaining to a specific project i worked on that nearly broke my brain. i just stop what im doing #and start playing Losing My Religion by REM. and i wish the person emailing me could see me face down at a table listening to thay song #mostly its fine. its just when someones trying to manage the data files so i kno im gonna have to go back thru and update my code #for a bunch of tiny stuff and its like: does this sound ok? and i just dont care so much that i want to start screaming #and then at the end of the day i hike up a fucking mountain going over what im gonna tell a therapist when my insurance switches #and im gonna say it in a way thats v calm and agreeable but i want to scream and tear my hair out. or maybe i wont b agreeable. i wasnt #last time i was in a therapist office but that guy deserved it and i wasn't being that bad #ugh. im just mad bc working on my stuff makes me so miserable that when i stop its like wow im no longer in agony. cool #coool. fun times. becoming increasingly apprehensive abt how im gonna try to b more healthy abt working while taking on triple #the responsibility with a phd project and being a student and being a TA. i mean. ill try but its gonna b fucking interesting #ugh. had to bust out the burnout playlist. which like. when u try to look at other ppls burnout playlists they all suck #theyre all like former gifted kid burnout Playlists and im like fuckkk offfff. why do u not have the incredibly specific vibes that im #looking for? i just demand the perfect burnout playlist and somehow nobody puts No Surprises on there #like what??? y not? its a song abt being so totally saturated that youve had enough. a heart thats full up like a landfill. a job that #slowly kills u. bruises that wont heal. how is it not THE burnout song? but whatever. i listen to too much radi0head. #ugh. but now my burnout playlist is becoming too much like my My Brain Doesnt Feel Too Good playlist #listen. i just need to curate playlist so that they can express the feelings for me #unrelated

[gayforminatozaki]

someone told me i'm a lesbian stereotype COMPHET IS BACK GUYS!!

#just bc i didn't find an anime guy attractive 😭 #i am severely incapable of not experiencing comphet every second i'm alive #i literally even have comphet dreams I've never had a dream where I fall in love with a woman its always a man #and even in the dreams i don't wanna do straight shit i'm always severely uncomfortable why does my brain do this to me #once i had a dream where i fucked some guy and when i woke up i felt so disgusted #guys imagine in the future i actually meet other lesbians and don't have to fake attraction towards men and heal and be able to find people #attractive and express that normally and not feel like an unempathetic hypocritical piece of shit for not liking men 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 #lesbian #comphet #compulsory heterosexuality

[toastsnaffler]

i keep getting irrationally miffed at ppl 😐😐

#'impressed by how much u can talk abt this considering youve not played either game' #fuck off. as if im not just trying to show interest bc u + another friend are both into them + constantly talk abt them in our gc!! #i mean since u guys talk abt them all the time + theyre huge on tumblr like. it would be hard for me to not know anything abt them at all #literally what else can i talk to u guys abt anyway. i dont think there are any interests i personally have that they both gaf abt #if anything they actively dislike most of the things im hyperfixated on. or at least she does so like i cant bring that up can i. #all i did was share a post i saw on tumblr that i thought was funny. its not like i had some negative/controversial opinion #i just saw it and thought hey that makes me think of my friends bc they like those things maybe theyll find it funny too!! #dog sitting outside the door with rly big sad eyes offering them a stick i found in a puddle #i like listening to them talk and i will eventually play some of the games theyre into myself cuz they make them sound rly cool #and even if theyre not my kind of thing i like sharing interests with other ppl and sometimes thats enough for me to be able to enjoy it #i literally own some of them already but im just not in the mental space to start smth new right now. which i have SAID!!!! #why do u even care girl. as if u dont already have a ton of friends playing it that ur talking to abt it???? i wont have anything to add #and thats not gonna stop u from being able to talk to me abt it anyway????? like 2/3 of our conversations atm are abt bg3 #man. i know its not that deep but it makes me kinda sad for some reason. im just trying. i guess next time ill just let u guys talk- #to each other or at me and not comment or say anything so u can pretend im not here or whatever it is u want #ughh. she probably didnt even mean it like that and ill feel stupid for getting annoyed and delete this later but whatever. #might work out early today and then i can like draw or play a game or smth the rest of the day. alright lets go #.vent #listening to my silly little jfunk/jazz/soul playlist and i already feel over it. healing

[selfundiagnosed]

&&the mental gymnastics they do to sleep each night without a guilty conscience so they can convince themselves their disgusting behavior is justified toward you🤥

#weird but creative lies #oddly specific enough to be believable lies #the reality of your actions & lack thereof are SO painful youd rather convince yourself of a lie to make you feel better #i am DYING to know what other lies you tell your loved ones about me haha #but the fact that someone who trusted your word snitched on you and told me your weird idea of smearing my name thru the mud #and with what you lied about its clear it comes from a place of deep insecurity of what you know im telling other people you did to ne #idk the parallels between me talking abt my lived experience with you as a close friend vs what you told your family im saying about THEM? #just own up to your wicked good ability to displace blame and make me look like a crazy person #oh youre telling everyone i put you in danger?! #i need to put you in more danger and make you look like your word is paper thin! #see theyre calling random people theyve never met nazis!! obviously i did nothing wrong not telling you i brought one to your house #you are so sick ive been wrestling for over a year since i found out #for you to take how uncomfortable that made me feel knowing you had a chance to tell me and didnt #and over a year later you still wont see why it hurt #but I understood why you didnt tell me so i trief to ask for spacr to heal our relationship and you snaked around that boundary #and tried to manipulate the people AROUND ME into forgiving you before i was ready #everyone does things to other humans that fuck them up. it does not reflect you. what reflects you as a person is how you handle it #and youre just burying your head in the sand acting like youre above it

[estoysugoi]

Since this account is “dead” im vomiting some spicy brain stuff here (deleting later):

I feel fucking boarderline fucking devastated i havent seen my friends in WEEKS, im afraid to reach out bc i feel like i did smth wrong or im not being a good friend but if i ask if that’s the case i risk making things awkward and/or upsetting them somehow and i dont want that and my brain is being spicy with bad thoughts and im constantly digging my finger into myself for not meeting my expectations as an artist AND a full grown ass adult there’s so many things i need but i feel overwhelmed about what to do and asking people i know for help feels like im burdening them and taking valuable time out of their busy schedules and they may not even be able to help me in the first place, which is one of the reasons why i barely ask my dad for help since he’s always busy and the rest of my immediate family either have their plates full or can’t actually help me for whatever reasonable reason so i need to learn how to do things myself i just dont know where to start or what resources to refer to. We live in an age where information is act ur fingertips and I STILL cant push myself to look for a simple tutorial i dont know whats wrong with me my brain is fucked up and im worried that i have some kind of executive dysfunction i dont know how to go about it outside of just setting good habits, like how we develop hygienic rituals everyday, i just need to put in the effort to build some kind of well planned schedule or something maybe then i can get a fucking grip at improving my life let alone my skills as an artist i keep taking so fucking long to do what feels like mediocre work and i want to improve so bad but for some reason i do all this thinking and imagining and planning ideas out but my body can never move something’s wrong with me and i dont know what to do i sometimes get scared if im not bottleing up anger towards myself as i just sit there and vegetate im just so tired of being tired and not doing anything worthwhile with my life i just want to be better i want to feel better and i just need to do better i dont know i just dont know how else to go about it aside from vomiting words like this there needs to be some kind of outlet for all this noise its almost like gossip through old walls with peeling wallpaper and i hate it i hate that i keep imagining the worst situations like im trying to prepare to feel ready and making plans for what i could do in hypothetical stressful situations. I think that’s just a by-product mechanism i developed after losing my mom suddenly, i kept thinking that she would be ok and come back from the hospital but things just got worse and more machines and tubes and wires filled her hospital bed until she couldnt take it anymore one day. There have been days where i could even feel what she experienced while being trapped like that its terrifying and im scared to think about it even if it comes from a habit of trying to understand others by placing myself in their feet and dont get me started what i imagined what my dad went through and my brother and my mom’s sisters and brothers and her mother i dont know how things didnt get worse than they did. Ok maybe things still turned sour but i guess thinking it could’ve been worse is just me excusing the circumstances that a part of me feel did me wrong like some kind of injustice i didnt deserve to go through all that and neither did my family. But i think whats worse was the divide that formed im part to blame for that but i dont know how to connect with people that are like 40 years older than me i dont know their past that well and they dont want to burden me with their pasts so im just left to pick up hints and pieces. But how can i find the help i need when im still overcome with an old desire im trying to let die finding a romantic happily ever after was never in the cards for me to begin with im not conventionally attractive enough for my type to be attracted to me nor am i in a good place to be dating or risking my heart to get broken again i just dont think i can bear that pain of loss in another form i fear it woul break me so now im-

#-trying to learn to be ok with dying without ever finding romantic companionship #i dont know who he is or who he could be but i always imagined he’d be really nice #always making me laugh reassuring me and giving me so much love #from this I realized i needed a sense of love and i shouldnt limit it to romance #i think im just scared of doing anything that would risk losing things i cared about #maybe that’s why i always pick the Healer in RPGs #it feels nice to be needed AND helpful AND useful #at least youre thought of often when ur in pain #its easier to heal an arm or leg than a broken heart #im still trying to mend mine #i had hoped that my potential bf would be the one to heal me better but now i know i have to do this myself #maybe for the rest of my life #i hope it gets easier #i really hope it does #i hope i live long maybe even be immortal #maybe that’ll give me enough time to heal #thinking about the truth of death scares me to the point of a panic attack #i try not to think about it #i hope this gets easier #i want this to get easier to manage i dont want to burden other with these thoughts #i can feel that those around me can help with finding a solution #i can only find temporary self-soothing things to calm me down #im sorry to anyone i made worry over me i cant promise it wont happen again #i cant bring myself to being a burden i feel like i need to do this myself #its my body my mind my emotions so my responsibility

[be-good-to-bugs]

itd be so cool if the shitty people in my life were not shitty and were actually slightly decent

#the bin #:/ i wanna stop feeling horrible abt shit with my sister but it makes me so angry and upset ALL the time #im so fucked up abt this. how could i not be. i guess. hhhhh. i dont know what to do. it sucks so much. #its so hard to deal with the aftermath of a deeply abusive relationship in general. and when you cant talk to anyone about it or tell #anyone who knows that person. and you have to continue to be nice or at least civil with them. probably forever. #that SUUUUCKS. she is so awful. shes always been awful. i want to heal from that experience but i feel like im still stuck #probably mostly because im literally physically stuck 1000 miles away from everyone else i know in a place where shes the only person i know #but even after that i think ill still feel so stuck. theres a lot of things she has that i really need to get from her before i do anything #that might make her mad at me. i want to delete our stupid chat full of uncomfortable shit vut thats gonna piss her off #she has a lot of pictures of me from when i was younger and those are pretty much the only pictures of me from then #i can barely even remember those years. id like to get those if i can. also i wanna see if i can convince her to delete all the weird videos #she took of me without my consent while i was having psychotic episodes bc like. what the fuck. AND i know she literally just shows them #to her friends and laughs at them bc shes told me she does. which is very upsetting. and if i can get her to delete them id feek so much #better and not be upset over that all the time #i just cant get iver how much she fucking sucks. she does so much fucked up shit and its so awful. why would she ever think its ok ti record #me when im not in a good headspace. without telling me. and then upload it to her snapchat also without telling me #i only found out about her doing that originally because she decided to show me some of the funny things people said about me on the #video i didnt even know existed and had no memory of what happened. she loves to claim shes so chill and nice and good about mental #illness and she understands it so much and would never ever do anything weird and ableist like that. and then does that. #i feel so much worse abiut myslef and all the behaviors i have caused by my myriad of mental shit specifically because of her #ugh i am so not looking forward to being in a car with her for 20 hours when i move. but thats how it has to be.

[junkie-virus]

why does no one talk aboiy how scary wisdom teeth surgery is like guys wgat the gelll…..

#ro rambles #we should not normalize this. #<- guy scared of dentist and doctors and lots of medical stuff in general really #umm rambling about it and how it feels in detail so dont read if u r also like me but also maybe do for comraderie or something. #like the feeling pf something being missing or replaced the bone deep avhe #STITCHES sticthes in my mouth…. #if i think too hard about it it makes me freak out a little. #DRY SOCKET…… WHY DOES THAT EXIST….. #like you feel ot all yhrpugh your jaw like #why are the nerves so finicky literally fucka you !!!!! #i dont have that but im paraboid #im not even in PAIN its just discomfort mild at best and the AWARENESS that something is missing and replaced & hurt/healing so i want it t #o heal bit i dont anat to fuck ot up because thatll make it hurt again #its soover bros #think ik having a root canal amd i literally dont know how to handle that either #i feel like ots gonna be different. and maybe worse roght. #dental shit disturbs me so bad #lik its fascinating in some ways but also i was literally shaking on the chair thing #+ i cant take pills so usually medicine stuff is relly tedious for me and also similar levels of anxiety for me… #dentist called me a acaredy cat 💔 #probs bc i croed BUT IT LITERALLY WASNT EVEN MY FAULT MY FACE WAS NUMB AND I DIDNT FEEL THE TEARS FALLING #its also iromic bc overall i think my pain tolerance is pretty decent ? or at least how i manage it #i just dont like ot aksdjdjkdhdk #like my dads experience…. yeah no i wasnt like. i wasnt that bad #i think its the stuff entering my body that i dont fell is safe or im not fsmiliar woth #actually maybe thats it… #pills needles any surgical instruments……… DO NOT ENTER ME !!!!!!!! #its so ride like have some manners they dont even ask……. #WHY DO THEY JUST HAVE FEELING !!!!!!! #the nerves they jump…….

[biteapple]

i do also feel like The Pale Beyond holds your hand TOO much in some aspects but not enough in others

#there are parts in the story where literally a popup appears telling you why one of your traits made a character say something to you #and thats something i would MUCH rather like. interpret or figure out on my own. in a story-based game #and also makes like ... makes me feel like i can SEE behind the curtain of the game. that should be secret to me. #let ME think about why someone said something or did or didnt do something. dont TELL me why in a convenient popup #and in some parts of the game doing certain actions seemingly arbitrarily ends the day or is final when i really wish the game was like #just a small sentence telling me what actions are progression-based and what aren't. SOME of them are color-coded but not all #there was one point where the game was like ''you can choose one of these'' and then prompted me to assign someone to something #so i thought *I* could choose one and assign a person to another because a prior event had me do that #and me assigning the person WAS my one action. just wish it was clearer in some aspects in wording its finality. #espectially when it mirrors what the game has taught me prior and then does the opposite of what the expected outcome is #there are certain mechanics that feel unfair where (potential spoilers ahead) you can assign people to the med bay to rest but... #if there's open beds and you forgot to assign someone else into the bay you're out of luck and cant pull up the menu again #like. why cant i? the engineering panel allows me to pull it up again. as does the cooking pot. as does every other panel. why not this one #that specifically just feels like an oversight. that among OTHER things #like special items not proccing twice when they should #there's one item that when warming up freezing crewmates #the engineers will warm 2 instead of 1. but. if you assign two engineers to the task the same time #then they'll only heal 3 people total because the code accounts for the action preformed not the amount of engineers assigned to the action #and if you assign them in succession they'll do it successfully. which is annoying to have to remember and a huge oversight

[mostly-imagines]

Banished

jason todd x fem!reader

aka jason misses his girlfriend

warnings: extremely mild angst, he’s just mopey (he’s fine)

Jason sits slumped over the kitchen island, head lying in his crossed arms. His now soggy cereal disregarded after barely a few bites.

Dick’s been rummaging through the cabinets for the better part of twenty minutes and Tim sits atop of the nook table shoving donuts in his mouth for the better part of thirty.

Damian trudges past them to the nook bench, taking out a knife and beginning to whittle away at a block of wood.

He glances at Jason with a scowl. “If you’re going to be so miserable, can’t you do it in your own home?”

Jason just grunts.

He wishes. You and Bruce had conspired to trap him at the mansion for the week so he could heal from injuries sustained during the last mission without risk of him suiting up and sneaking away from you in the middle of the night.

It’s not even the fact that he’s basically being babysat that’s got him so disgruntled. He wouldn’t mind it at all if you were here too. But you were dead set that the manor was too far out of your way for work, so you’d stay behind. A lose-lose for Jason.

“He’s just mad his girlfriend kicked him out.” Dick teases, swiping through the fridge.

Tim snorts from the doorway, “Me too. He’s a lot more depressing on his own.”

Jason kept his head down as he blindly reached for the spoon in his cereal and chucked it at Tim’s head.

Tim catches it without thought, continuing, “A lot more irritable, at least. Why isn’t she here?”

“She’s gotta work.” Dick says, scanning through the pantry.

Damian peeps his head up from his project. “But Todd has a rather large supply of less than legally obtained money, does he not?”

“Yeah, but she said she wants to pay her own rent, I think.” Dicks hums, finally giving up on his quest for a snack.

Damian pauses.

“So she wants to live in a tiny apartment?” He asks, a mixture of confused and horrified.

“Watch your mouth.” Jason mumbles.

“It was a genuine question!” Damian protests, face screwed up.

Jason finally lifts his head up, turning to his little brother with a raised brows. “And I’m genuinely going to break your nose.”

It’s an empty threat, maybe. But it was enough to shut Damian up anyways. Jason turns back to his cereal and swishes the bowl around.

Dick rests his arms on the counter across from Jason and speaks lowly. “You know, it is just a few days. She’s coming back.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Jason was never one for showing his feelings—let alone talking about them.

He misses you, plain and simple. Dick could see that much clearly, though the longing looked unfamiliar on Jason.

Bruce lingers in the hallway, just past the island, listening.

He’ll admit (to himself) that he’s worried about Jason. It’s been three days and Jason has yet to show a crack in this demeanor. And while it’s not uncommon for him to stow himself away, there is something quite wrong with the way he hasn’t countered his brother’s jabs at him or teased them.

And while he could do without the blatant threats, he’s proud to hear his son defending his girlfriend, even over trivial things. It’s one of the few moments where he feels like he did right by him as a father.

And now here’s his son, caring about someone else more than he cares about himself. Someone who’s a good person, no less. It had been your idea to trick Jason into staying at the manor, you were scared that he would push his body past its limit when you couldn’t do anything to help.

Bruce knew you didn’t feel great about basically banishing him for the week but he could see that you just wanted what was best for Jason. He could see it so clearly. Maybe Bruce could never have been a perfect father, could never have given his son everything he needed despite having more money than he could ever use. Maybe he couldn’t help him, even now.

But you could.

Bruce peers around the corner, leaning up against the doorframe.

He watches Damian give up on carving at his block and start into the leg of the table.

He watches the bickering that broke out after Tim grab the last glazed donut, which was apparently the only thing Dick could possibly fathom eating.

And he watches Jason.

As Jason’s phone lights up on the counter next to him. He glances down at it with a frown before his face absolutely lights up.

He scrambles to pick the phone up and starts typing away. A quiet action that catches the attention of all of his brothers.

He types and types, waits for ten seconds for a response and types and types again—smile on his face.

The Waynes didn’t need to be the greatest detectives in the world to know who he was texting.

#jason todd loves his gf #jason todd x reader #jason todd imagine #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd fanfic #red hood x reader #red hood imagine #red hood fanfiction #red hood fanfic #dc imagine #dc x reader #dc fanfic #dc fanfiction #batfam x reader #batfam imagine #batfam fanfic #batfam fanfiction #jason todd x you #red hood x you #batfam x you #batfamily x reader #batfamily imagine #batfamily fanfic #batfamily fanfiction

[nihiltism]

let's hear about poor That Guy

ok so prefacing by saying that all of the events that befall my poor dnd character today have the rough comedic timing of This Video.

that's a good sign. anyway our team gets ambushed by goblins, this is our second actual combat encounter.

we all roll initiative. that guy gets a Two.

because they do not have time to distance themself (they are a ranged fighter generally) the closest goblin hits them with OVER HALF THEIR HP.

they distance themself and try to fire back. MISS with a fucking. 12. best roll that session.

their next turn they use arcane weapon to give their pistol a buff and roll to fire. They Roll A One.

this guy's pistol misfires, blowing up Straight In Their Face for not only 1d10 (+2!) piercing but ALSO 1d6 lightning damage from the spell they just fucking used. killing them instantly (they were fine)

god. bless.

#i feel like its worth mentioning i was swapping between dice the entire time because the set i picked for this guy hated me #and the roll20 dice hated me. we think its because i was doing a bad job at rping a robot and it took offense. #so i had picked out a few sets and asked my dm to pick which to roll #and the one she picked got the one... #btw they were fine the paladin had a stupid amount of healing power for being level 1 but like #they sure did almost figure out if theres a hell for robots in the Second Session. theyd be more freaked about if they werent just #so fucking embarrassed about it #also bonus misfortune point: while the battle finished up i was checking my inventory and . somehow i did not have tinkers tools #hey (dm)? why does a warforged artificer not get rolled up with tinkers tools? #dm: the economy is in shambles #this is absolutely ideal though i love my little haunted british robot getting to be the chosen slapstick toy by The Fates its just right #vee shut up #kazzies dnd shenans #so stay tuned for next session where this guy gets to be Extra Quiet and in the corner fixing their damn gun arm the entire session #because the dm did grant me tinkers tools and also they dont want to fucking talk about it

[snekdood]

whats really unfortunate is im p sure my sister was the catalyst for why people in my town like to just gossip and make shit up about me without asking. like it started with her talking to my middle school bully about me behind my back, probably telling her all kinds of bullshit bc my sisters a compulsive liar, then that bully followed me to highschool for a brief moment before leaving, spreading all the bullshit that started at my old school to my new one before dipping. and then people started making shit up about me at highschool. i was so excited to finally get a fresh start in highschool only for that bitter cunt to come along and sour shit for no fucking reason bc idk she has a weird hate boner for me, who can say (maybe it was some bullshit my sister said 🙃 i wonder!). and since my high school was way bigger and she had a wider range of people, word just spread through the grapevine of whatever dumb shitppl were coming up with mixed with actual events that happened that painted me in an embarrassing light or whatever. and im like. kinda sure that the only reason my ex decided to turn on me so hard, shaming me in every capacity down to just who i am inherently was bc alllll of those stupid rumors came to them after we broke up. like. yall just wont let me escape this NOR EVEN GIVE ME THE FUCKING CHANCE TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT IN ANY CAPACITY. why in the FUCK are you SO FUCKING INVESTED IN TRYING TO FUCK UP MY LIFE?? WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING DAMAGE??? LEAVE ME THE FRESH FUCK ALONE!!! IF YOU’RE STILL TALKING ABOUT ME AFTER HIGHSCHOOL WITH PEOPLE WE WENT TO HIGHSCHOOL WITH YOU LITERALLY HAVENT MATURED FOR SHIT AND I FEEL BAD FOR YOU ABOUT THAT. LIKE HOLY FUCK. yall are dense self absorbed pieces of shits who think you’re so above whoever you decide to throw under the bus but you’re literally the same staple mediocre mean girl from every other fucking school anyone has ever fucking seen. if you’re not even going to give me a list of my sins. if none of you assholes are even going to approach me to ASK ME DIRECTLY IF WHAT SOMETHING SOMEONE SAID WAS TRUE. INSTEAD OF HANGING OUT WITH ME TO SECRETLY GET INFO AND HOPEFULLY GET INFO ABOUT THAT OUT OF ME. IF YOU’RE NOT EVEN GOING TO WELCOME ME INTO THE GOSSIP CIRCLE SO I CAN TELL ALL OF YOU **AT THE VERY LEAST** MY PERSPECTIVE, OH, LETS FORGET BELIEVING VICTIMS WHEN IT COMES TO ME, REMEMBER, IM PROBABLY LYING ABOUT EVERYTHING MY FAMILY OR ANYONE WHOS ABUSED ME HAS EVER DONE RIGHT LOL 🤪 KILL YOURSELF. You literally dont deserve anything you could ever benefit from being my friend. i hope all of you selfish drama-vampires, who apparently cant survive without gossiping like its fucking air, rot

#anyways yall remind me of a catholic cult #anyways idc what happens to anyone in my old town either #yall basically exiled me so now i just kinda dont give a single fuck or shit what happens to any of you c: ! #hows it feel bitch? #dont think imma do anything for any of yall if you ever need me to. dont think ill be there. lord knows none of you were. #lord knows none of you cared #what. whats your justification for treating me this way? #tell me in detail. exactly. why? #because i grew up rich? well so did my sister and brother and yall had no issues with them #because i was blonde or something? because i was confident? because i didnt know how to socialize in an Un Weird Way? #because i liked playing pretend? because i liked drawing? because i watched tv shows and liked making ocs and drawing tv show characters #fucking or whatever? #is this really my greatest sins? #bc like before highschool? yall dont really have shit to hang on for why you treated me the way you did. like AT ALL. #granted bc of ptsd i cant remember much of my childhood anyways but i knew i didnt hate anyone ever #otherwise why would i keep letting my middle school bully in to interact with me and hoping we could mend things and become friends? #only for her each time to lie and go make fun of me with other people in the class? #and when it came to highschool. the worst thing about me was that i thought it was ok for me to say slurs it 100% wasnt ok for me to say #bc i was under the impression that 'the world was peaceful now and these thingsd didnt have impact and ppl could start saying whatever and #it wouldnt hurt people anymore and the world is healing and its just a word now and my brothers friends seem ok when he does it so?' #yeah ik ik i was optimistic. maybe my middle school couldve done a better job at emphasizing that *those were still issues people faced #and that the world isnt healed and perfect and that it doesnt always get better' bc one of my teachers 100% directed me to the- #it gets better website #regardless. that along with group roasting sessions essentially with my brother and his friends where we made fun of the way we all looked #kinda made me think saying some things were okay that weren't. not an excuse but i wasnt a fucking bigot and ill die on that hill :)! #and sure i got into new age conspiracy theories but *i* didn #'t know it was anti semitici in nature. ive mentioned before that any websited i read never mentioned jewish people EVER #i just liked the idea of aliens being real as it was an idea i never let myself explore before. i was more into demons initially sdhdhgs. #aliens and the new version of spirituality which essentially promised me everything as long as i believe strong enough lol #regardless- im pretty sure other ppl at the time didnt know it was bad either. or if they did. then they should take issue with my ex nick