#anyway I am already not handling things well.

[lpsgirl109]

This is a post for @just-allovertheplace because they brought up a point on one of my Phin posts and I wish to elaborate

So when I say some of Phin's actions should've been a result of her own ignorance, I dont mean like, all. The attacks against Roxxon should absolutely be done from a place of hate, those fuckees killed her brother and are selling off nuform as a clean energy thing despite Knowing it's harmful. Everything against Roxxon is fine to have been malicious intent

What I mean with that post is I feel there should've been an emphasis on Phin not really thinking about the damage her attacks may cause to innocent people until after the fact. She's not putting civilians in harm's way just for shits and giggles, Roxxon is her first priority and her grief sort of blinds her to how she may be hurting others in the process. The reason I like to add her warning the people at the rally to run is that the fandom Loves using that scene to call Phin a horrible person for putting Rio in danger. And in my honest opinion, some of that can be equated to bad writing, since Phin is sort of all over the place in terms of her actions. I can definitely word this better when I finish my replay of the game but like, there's moments where the narrative villainizes her a bit Too much and it leads to people hating her more than sympathizing with her, which really doesn't work when the point of her arc was to make the player feel bad for her by the end, not cheer for her death.

This is why it works better for me if she's going into these attacks clouded by her own rage and not entirely understanding the consequences until after it has been done. She doesn't want to hurt innocent people, she wants to hurt Roxxon. She just doesn't realize innocent people Did get hurt until the action is already done. And one could say I'm watering her down and making her less evil or some shit, but I also do this because I don't really like how her or the Underground are handled in the game. You have to tread carefully when playing with the "character figting worse character is Doing It Wrong and is therefore just as bad" trope, especially in the context of the 'worse character' being a corrupt rich asshole in charge of a corrupt company who is knowingly making people extremely sick with his product just so he can sell it. And the game uses this trope pretty poorly, with how horrible Phin and the Underground are portrayed. The Underground is a literal terrorist organization and Phin herself shows no care for the people she hurts in the process of taking down Roxxon. She doesn't even care that the Underground is getting sick from handling the nuform, and that's a scene that really Icks me because there are Connotations behind saying the black girl trying to fight a huge corrupt organization that killed her brother has become no better than the white man who owns said organization and just about takes Pleasure in what he's doing. I really hope this is not a hot take and I am not the only one who thinks this.

Anyway, that's largely why in my rewrite, I tone down both Phin and the Underground a bit. If they were the only villains in the game and weren't fighting any sort of higher power, I'd probably be fine with them the way they are. It's the fact that their goal is to stop a large organization from harming the city with their product, and are written as terrorists who don't care about the innocent people they hurt that makes me look at them and go Hm. This was not handled well. At all. It's why in my opinion, Phin works best if her attacks are never meant to hurt innocent people, rather she's sort of in over her head and didn't think about the damage she'd be causing until it was too late. And like this also checks out when you remember she is an 18 year old girl, yeah she's gonna fuck up. Girliepop never even made it to her 20s /ref

Anyway this has been an episode of Peg Speaks

#peg speaks #spider man #insomniac spider man #spider man miles morales #phin mason

[pippin-pippout]

I'm also so mad at Garp. Like I knew I would be. He is that kind of character. He knows that on some level the marines are bad. That they are too corrupt. He, like Koby, thought he could be a force for good, and saw the evil that pirates were doing. But that's because the marines are a lot better at hiding their evil.

He walked into Impel Down, past the tortured screams, took the elevator down past Levels 1 - 4 where even Level 1 was enough to make Vice Admiral Momonga feel sick to his stomach at the treatment of the prisoners with light sentences.

Garp then goes to a chained up Ace, who presumably went through a lot of torture, who has done much less evil than Blackbeard – the man the marines just let into the warlord club – and laughs. He berates him and Luffy for not being Good Marines like he wanted them to be. And when Ace begs to be killed, Garp just tells him nothing can stop that now, knowing ace wants to be killed there - before whitebeard can risk himself to rescue him.

And of course Ace brings up their blood and their fathers as why he and Luffy turned out the way they did. But as we see, the real reason Ace is a pirate is because Whitebeard was the only one to act like a father to him. And that role that was supposed to be GARP'S job.

Garp's belief, even when facing all of this, is that the marines are still the lesser of two evils. Or perhaps he just doesn't believe another alternative is possible. And I guess until Luffy came about, it really wasn't.

So he'll tolerate the Celestial Dragons and turn a blind eye to slavery, though he won't let himself be promoted so he doesn't have to report to them (out of sight out of mind). He'll visit Luffy and the strawhats with Koby on a friendly visit and promise not to take them in, and then attack Luffy's new ship with firepower enough to kill some of them and certainly with the goal of capturing them and putting Luffy in Impel Down. And he'll visit Ace in prison before he dies, though do absolutely nothing to help the kid he swore an oath to take in, who he already failed.

The tragedy of Garp is that he tried to do the right thing at every turn, but unfortunately was wrong every time.

#monkey d. garp #portgas d ace #one piece #monkey d luffy #fire fist ace #I'm not sure if there is any more to Ace and Garp's conversation at this point #but boa hancock is on her way to meet ace #and I know Ace gets moved immediately after that because Luffy is too late to free him #anyway I am already not handling things well. #gonna punch garp in the face mayhaps #at this point my new plan is to make friends with the showrunner of opla and via him oda and convince them to save ace secretly

[elftwink]

been learning to play ironsworn (gritty fantasy ttrpg which you can play with a gm but is mostly suited for solo or small group co-op gmless play) after having the rulebook pdf for several years (stars finally aligned to remove invisible thing blocking me from reading it idk) because i'm on another solo ttrpg kick & i don't know what took me so long to get around to this game because it genuinely is exactly what i was looking for. years ago when i was playing through solo 5e modules i should have just been playing ironsworn (believe it or not, 5e isn't very suited to solo play and is extremely clunky when you try lol).

also though i have dabbled in some other solo ttrpgs, a considerable amount of them are journaling games which is fun but imo considerably more work (usually by the time i'm a quarter of the way through the journal entry, i know how to entire scene played out and i want to move on to the next gameplay thing, so i get frustrated and bored quickly. it feels like when you solve a level in a video game but don't have the coordination to pull off the necessary move so you have to spend 20 extra minutes doing something you already figured out), so i really appreciate like not needing to write something for the game to progress (ive been taking notes for my own record since im playing solo and thus am not really out loud roleplaying the way you do in a group, but i definitely could do that instead and not take notes and the game would still function perfectly)

& ive been playing by myself but also in the past ive played a lot of ttrpgs in very small groups which has been other games but is mostly dnd and like. we also should have been playing ironsworn so that having a gm was not necessary. have definitely played games where we had to adapt the rules soooo much to do something that is just base game included in ironsworn. plus it's rules-light enough to do pretty complex moves that pose difficulties in bulkier games (ever introduced someone to dnd and they tell you they want to do a sick backflip and catch something and then attack and you have to tell them that will require several different consecutive rolls and some creative liberties with how the rules are 'supposed' to let you move? you can just Do That in ironsworn. use the strike move and describe it. done!)

the one thing is that although it's rules-light enough to theoretically play any setting or genre (some with more difficulty than others), ive found so far that like... the grittiness and sense of threat is very built into the mechanics so that would be sort of difficult to work around or change (but i think it's great from a game design perspective). what i mean is like, okay: you start with 5 max hp. there isn't really a way to raise this max hp, you just slowly gain abilities (assets) that make you less likely to have to lose the hp in the first place, or that make it easier to recover. when you encounter foes, you rank them on a scale of 1 -5, and enemies on the lowest side of this scale do one harm to you, while enemies on the highest side do five harm to you. so even though encountering an epic enemy won't always be deadly due to the assets you have, they are ALWAYS capable of taking you down to 0 hp with one good hit. so the feeling of threat is much more present compared to games where your character starts to be able to just tank and push through a failure or huge threat.

admittedly also i'm playing solo, im still learning how to balance combat, and also i built a character who has NO combat talents and iron (the close quarters fighting stat) is one of my lowest stats so i personally am under much more threat than if you built a character who knew how to fight or who could do deadly harm. but also the other thing about combat is it's extremely difficult to maintain control of the fight; you have to score a strong hit to do it on basically all moves, and there's a really limited pool of moves available when you don't have the initiative, and obviously none of them really favour you. i don't know that this makes combat genuinely more difficult, but it does make you feel like the fight is always about to spiral out of your control. every second you let it drag without decisive action feels like it brings you closer to dying. like i said, this is a feature of the game design and not a problem in any way. just thinking about it because when i was initially learning i was going to try to supplant it into a homebrew fantasy world of my own but the tone just wouldn't be right. and that it is somewhat difficult to replicate the kind of worlds that i typically play or run for dnd, which tend to lean somewhat sillier and definitely much higher fantasy

but i like to try new things and tbh especially in dnd i find that i very rarely feel that sense of threat and when i do feel it, it has nothing at all to do with the actual mechanics and reality of the combat and everything to do with how well the dm sells it to me and makes it sound and feel scary and dangerous. which is a testament to what a good gm can do for you but i do appreciate the threat feeling more built-in and also being actually real.

#good idea generator #kas plays ironsworn #am giving it a tag because i will continue to talk about this. its my blog #idk i just find in dnd like. players often FEEL threatened WAY before they actually are threatened #which makes it really hard to balance combat because players treat evenly matched fights like hopeless death traps #so instead they do underleveled combat that feels boring for some hard to pin down reason #but like. the reason is even though you're nervous about the dm's description and the things the monsters can do #there is no real threat. especially in bigger parties where the players DOMINATE action economy. they are always in control #so of course it gets boring. it drags out so everyone can take their turn but it never forces you to make difficult choices #or to totally exhaust all your abilities. after awhile the combats start to feel same-y #because even if the monster is different. you never have to do anything different to defeat it #ofc this is a subjective assessment and also if youre reading this and we play dnd together this is not a gripe abt our table i love u #i think it's really easy to get trapped doing this esp in tables which like rp more than combat #because its also like. once you're used to a certain balance of combat if your dm suddenly threw you a big one #you assume that this is a uniquely large threat in the narrative as well (rather than a rebalancing attempt) #and treat it accordingly. which is to say with way too much caution because it isnt actually that big of a threat #so then as a dm when you have to maintain the feeling of threat and the mechanical threat #(especially when sometimes the mechanical line between 'cakewalk' and 'tpk' is razor thin #and is more about the initiative order and luck than anything else) #you start to prioritize the feeling of threat. which is imo the right call always #but its just after awhile when you feel the threat but nothing ever happens to anybody. the dissonance starts to affect the table #also balancing dnd combat as a dm is really hard and often requires a LOT of on the fly adaptation #because sometimes the CR is useless and you don't know how it's gonna do until the dice are on the table already #anyway. my point is that im enjoying how ironsworn handles this problem

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Beginning to really wonder how much of my financial concern is manufactured and handed to me as opposed to something I'm genuinely concerned by

#bc like. i'm getting by just fine. i don't have anything to be reasonably worried about #but also when i was a kid my father would break down my mother's paycheck and basically explain how broke we were #and that May Have Affected Me Somewhat #as well as just. the way you consistently see the advice to just save! don't get takeout! necessities! and i'm not intent on living like #a monk nor am i intent on being on that grindset for financial gain #it's like i don't intrinsically care but i have so many messages given to me about how i need to care a lot and it puts me in a weird spot #i am simultaneously standing still and moving at mach speeds #i mean right now i just need a safety net while in between jobs; after that i need to save up to move out of state bc the uh #political situation and upcoming presidential election don't seem very sustainable for someone like me anymore #they weren't to begin with but i don't wanna stick around to see how bad it's gonna get #but it's like. okay and then what? save for what? going back to school i guess? idk #i feel like i keep asking myself what i'm trying to accomplish and keep trying to force myself to have answers #here and now when i have to be okay with taking things one step at a time instead of having everything here and now #it's simultaneously fine and terrible and i am holding two conflicting yet equal truths #i feel i may have a clearer head once i leave my current job. i'm trying to look but nothing feels appealing given how #burnt out i already feel. i dread going back into my workplace and i fear it's showing to the patients and i don't want that #i want a month off to rediscover who i am as a person outside of getting yelled at in retail and then pick something back up #could be feasible. genuinely could be. i need to sort out the health insurance aspect but. that's lowkey the plan? #to construct a financial safety net and then slam on the breaks for a while; see if i can strike up a deal with the staff about me #coming in for specific tasks bc we already know i'm quick and efficient with the inventory so i do have a little leverage #you know what. this is getting some of it off my chest and i'm starting to feel confident again lmao #i won't be doing weekends starting either next week or the week after so that's a start! i just think i want everything done right now #bc i'm afraid i won't have the chance again but i will. i definitely will #i just need to let myself get to that point; it's just the immense drain from the register work and the Everything that comes with retail #also having to accept that it's okay to leave this; there's not something wrong with me like. ''not being able to handle it'' or w/e #no mindfulness or detachment could've saved me; it was shit and i'm hitting the bricks and that's all there is to it #i've been thinking a lot about it all lately bc it's what's most prominent in my life rn of course #idk. pondering. introspecting. as i am wont to do #anyways if you've read all this you're a real mvp and i am kissing you on the hand #shai speaks

[cathalbravecog]

Man... I can't stop thinking about the things that were talked about on the stream, especially the answer on my question - so... get ready for a ramble! its a long one. oops. i dont even know where im going with this, im just dumping my thoughts somewhere. half is about ttcc lore in general and the streams, the other half is about cathal and me projecting onto him deeper.

before i even hop deeper into this, it wasn't until early today that i learned that there was a whole drama about cranky's answers (regarding the graham and flint question and the whole "keep it sane" thing. i thought it was...off, but i understood it as 'do what you want people, just don't start any harassment because of ships and your favorite pairs'.

definitely could have been phrased better, though. at least we got a good response and an apology later from maven on twitter. but i legit did not know this was a drama until those twitter posts were made LOL. i dont interact with the fandom so i do not know how that answer was percieved by most. or if anyone except for me and my friends have had any thoughts about the question i asked that got answered.)

and what im tryna get to is that i get cranky isnt the one to be answering lore things, and probably didnt know what to answer... but it's still something to think about

because being told "cogs and toons just dont become how they are out of the blue" (paraphrasing here) as an answer to what cathal initially thought of seeing his dad be bet up and thrown off a tower is... confusing? he did say first and foremost that it has to be built upon before saying that. i understand that this is... a lot of characters! and cathal did have some focus on him thanks to the comic and they wanted to focus on other managers... but some have deeper, more intricate lore that's easy to grasp (especially the more, well, angstier managers like chip and misty.)

and we have gotten some extra lore for other managers like belle, mary, tawny.... thanks to thomas' rambles.

and it's definitely difficult for a team of volounteers working hard on a fan game together to make lore for all the characters, that are still very young in their *life span*, having been around for less than a year. despite ttcc being more character driven and focused on the cogs, it's still a game they have to run so they cannot focus on lore only and some game management has to be done first. there's a bunch of things they have to consider, like consistency and how fans may react, or possible themes or what they want the story to be...

and. yeah. its hard since. come on lets admit it. clash has an issue with how these are all given to us. hell, there's lore bits i still dont know about and im still learning because it's..so all over the place. a new player will not know about it. maven acknowledged this in the tweet and i really appreciate that, as it's honestly been my number one issue with clash, especially as someone who is there for the lore. (i mean, and the gameplay, i know some people who don't play the game itself much. well i sure do a little TOO MUCH because i have PROBLEMS. but im interested in the lore, too, yknow?)

some lore you cant learn from the wiki, and unless you interact with the community, you may never learn *where* all of this even is. if you werent live for certain lore there, it's hardly accessible to you. lore locked behind one time events, an arg website, wikis, discord chats... all that. it's hard to keep track of! i'm sure it's like that for both the fans and the writers. these characters are great, fun, and i love them, but the way we are given this information is... not the best. it's very easy to miss certain details.

it's especially bad if you're like me - only ever interacting with a close group of people you trust, (because people are scary especially a lot of... lore driven fans. yeahnoimeanshippers.sorry.and just big crowds of people in general) having only gotten back into the game recently AFTER most of the major lore events (first played once in 2019, then never again until january 2023) and also you dislike youtube and video content, so you dont watch it. something in your brain would rather if you step on a nail than watch a playthrough video (especially with commentary).

like in general it shouldnt be necessary to go through all these hoops just to know the lore! especially for things that may have little lore...

anyways, uh, back to cathal. i cannot stop thinking about this.

it definitely wasnt an answer to what i specifically asked - but possibly more so about... why cathal is the way he is? and despite what my brain and low self esteem during hard times may tell me - i do not believe that anybody is truly "lazy". i just dont think that exists. there's always some reason behind a person being unmotivated or lazy. even the little things!

but like... that's just kinda obvious. all toons and cogs have motivations. thats like... one of the basics of writing characters. have motivations for characters and reasons for why they are how they are. doesnt have to be anything tragic, just.... how they are as people.

it's totally unrelated to the question of what cathal thought about seeing his dad like that... but oh well! i asked that because i made up my own story around that already, and i just wanted to see what someone working on the game thinks about the same idea.

not to be Tumblr User CathalBravecog, but, of course I have projected heavily onto cathal. i have already stated how important cathal is to me as a character, especially with appreciating myself when im.. not exactly the most motivated. when im not doing much. taught me to appreciate breaks. hell! i keep preaching this myself. its okay to take breaks! and yet i often end up not doing it and i overwork myself on games and art and other things.

there's... a lot of things "wrong" with me that i don't have names for yet, especially due to not having a diagnosis for them, but they're very real feelings and they cause me to be unable to do things a lot of the time. various mental blocks and a new member of the gang... physical pai! hooray.

this... endless productivity we are forced and expected to do. it can take a toll on you. breaks are just as necessary and to say it's a thing that has to be re-learned is... sickening. hooray for living in a Corporate (clash) society, fellas.

one thing i can say is that i absolutely headcanon that cathal has adhd - though, maybe not the same type i do. i do not think he gets randomly hyper and wants to (and does) jump around everywhere and blurt things out randomly and impulsively. cathal here has the low energy, yknow.

i like that a lot of the content around him doesnt even describe him with the words "lazy" and "sleepy" instead.

every day is the same... even if his job is relatively simple, just watching over the camera feed - it's definitely boring... and having to do it every day is not rewarding. and being mostly alone and without consequence, he gives into wanting to do something else. he's got these huge screens and a room to himself, and he loves watching shows and cartoons... so he's gonna do that. it's more fun. it's stimulating. and especially with his dad being the one to give him his position, he knows that he's got nothing to really worry about there.

i also think it's a bit hard to be motivated knowing that... this war between the cogs and toons is just. endless. hell, again, he has to see his dad *everyday* be attacked by them. his body damaged after the fall - only to be fixed again. rinse and repeat. i would too, find it pointless. especially if you're like cathal, since i pointed out before that he is very kind and caring towards the other cogs. he's also thoughtful, noting that yknow... a lot of stairs to get to his room.

why do all that when you can chill... and feel good. do something that feels nice...

i don't have any names for this, but with how sleepy he usually is, that's definitely a thing to consider too. and just, from experience... being tired and/or sleepy it... dismotivates you even more. its so hard to start tasks even if you *want* to do them. and considering cathal mooost likely doesn't want to do his work on his own - then these tasks can be just. impossible to start.

like, i have struggled with this my entire life myself, just because of my adhd screwing with everything, but after getting covid and most definitely getting a form of chronic exhaustion from it.. things have been even harder. i pull myself through day and i barely have the energy to even start anything. sometimes i dont even do anything all day and... woops! still no mood or energy to do anything. i just work on random bursts of motivation and things that captivate me...

not sure how it relates to cathal, but, hey, if im personal here ill ramble about it too because WOW it has been biting me in the ass and i need to speak to Professionals About It

like... i dont think hes being "lazy" willingly, yknow? theres a reason behind it. it definitely is just... being sleepy, the comfort... the fun and stimulation doing something fun he's interested in (his shows) are just... stronger desires and way easier for him to get to. why struggle through something when it takes up all your energy, and then you feel no reward for it? yeah. exactly. even just "not feeling like it" is a reson. "not having energy" is a reason. hey, are these things to get better about if needed? certainly. i wish i could get help with this, it would help me in my life so so much. but should it be seen as ENTIRELY negative and as being a "hinder to society". hell nah. and i think thats swag. cathal is swag he can do this, good for him lmaooo. my brain is deteriorating i apologize.

there was... another thing i wanted to say, but i forgot. so i'll move on.

but just... yeah. i dont think cathal is just lazy. i dont believe in "laziness". he's got reasons for why he prefers naps and just... watching tv instead of doing his work. perhaps he does want to do these things, but gave up on trying. its not worth the effort, it does not feel good. its not stimulating enough to keep him going.

#long #ramble #cathalposting #i...may delete this later i dont know. i both wanna talk to ppl i know about this #but also Do Not Percieve me. I am Afraid Of What People Think #Stay Back Foul Beasts ! #alsoy eah i had other stuff to talk about...more on the negative side i guess but??? its. a bit difficult to #give and .. angstier things? negative thoughts? to a character who you see a lot of comfort in. they make you happy #they help you feel better about yourself. you want to see them happy. if theyre happy #youre happy. if theyre sad...well. you are sad. sadness is natural. its a real thing. it happens sometimes. its a part of life #and i have attached some of these things to cathal already. but a few things are hard for me to consider because of The Brain Worms. #i dont want to see him hurt either yknow. #anyways i hope you enjoyer my mental illness ramble. im not normal and you shouldve known that when you followed me #thank you for existing cathal ray toby braveswag #hey fun fact remember how i said i get tired of stuff myself easily well this whole thing made me tired. i was gonna #answer an ask but now im like. man. (melts into a puddle) #(doesnt take a break bc i need instant stimulation and makes things worse for myself) #do yall see why i like cathal so much now gamers? #ya. sorry this got personal. if any of you can handle reading this u deserve a reward. #and maybe i need to start talking about personal things this much. but whatever #this is my blog i can talk about anything and thats the COOL THING! #MWAHAHAHHAHAHA! #dies #ivegot a lot going on in my brain rn cant u tell

[afniel]

AH I REMEMBERED WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY EARLIER but it's kind of stupid, lmao.

So my partner is getting into brewing beer and I got them a Tilt, which is a Bluetooth hydrometer. It measures specific gravity and temperature, which are things you want to know so that you don't kill your yeast or whatever. Except the sensor's Bluetooth range is super short, and it basically runs via a phone app, and the temperature we're logging currently is the crawlspace, accessible via the staircase closet. So they were like, wait, what do we do about this, because I can't leave my phone in the closet, that's my alarm clock.

In a kind of ridiculous turn of life imitating art, I was like, hold up, I got just the thing right at my desk. Bam. Old phone. We just needed to scrounge up a charger because the battery is so dead that after charging just enough to power on it claimed it was at 53% (to be fair to it, there is a very real chance that it's correct, and it just holds no charge at this point so the capacity is just THAT low) and now it lives in the closet logging sensor data.

And I was like, you know...didn't I just solve a major story detail with a much larger version of this...yeah, no, this is all vaguely familiar somehow, power supply issues and all. Kind of cool that the concept works though. Kind of weird that it came up at all?

We are not gonna talk about the fact that I still have at least two more ancient-ass phones in a drawer where that came from because look, man, sometimes you just need a camera/mic/mini computer with Bluetooth and wifi that fits in a pocket, and people just get rid of these things, but not me. I actually could build a shitty security system out of them if I was reaaaally inclined. I mean. I'm not. But it's technically possible.

For real though, If I pick up any stupid maker projects I still high-key am thinking about slapping Bluetooth into a necomimi headset and running that through an Arduino and learning to code just enough to let me skip songs/change the volume on Spotify with my brain, because it's entirely doable, and I mean yeah I could do that on my phone remotely too, but that's not funny, now, is it. I'm just not sure it's $350+ of parts funny. Kind of a big investment just to prove the point that haha look I am the extremely ADHD type of lazy where I would rather solve a problem via the most convoluted and complicated Rube-Goldberg type ass machine way possible rather than just perform a single simple action.

YEAH I'VE BEEN THIS SCATTERED ALL DAY AND I REALLY SHOULD GO TO BED SHOULDN'T I. I started playing Satisfactory. Mistakes were made. I'm going to dream about conveyor belts again and I did it to myself...

#you know I used to mostly blog about witchcraft and paganism #and now I'm like. you know what I want to do? chain an EEG sensor to the Spotify API and skip songs with my brain. #it's kind of like magic when you put it like that. maybe things haven't actually changed that much after all #the headset idea actually came about bc I'd gotten so far into the writing zone that I literally just. tried to skip a song with my brain. #because I had so much reploid characters on my mind that it just sounded like a normal course of action I should be able to take #obviously it didn't work and cue me sitting there for a full 3 seconds going 'why didn't it. wait. why did I think it would?' #followed immediately after by 'YEAH BUT I PROBABLY COULD DO THAT ACTUALLY' #because you just Cannot write a character like Glitch without it rubbing off on you a little bit and WWGD kicked in real hard lmao #well obviously he'd [ridiculous chain of ideas ending in 'anyway I installed some shit and now I can control Spotify with my mind'] #and I gotta say I do not like the idea of sticking a sensor on the *inside* of my skull. sounds very bad. #but it doesn't have to be on the inside to work soooo there's that! #I have a friend who for quite a long time had a rare earth magnet in one finger so he could find live wires by touch #he ended up removing it for work eventually but when I say I was jelly. man. but also kinda squeamish about it. #I do not like sharp things and I am Very funny about my fingers as an artist/writer/used to be musician. #but man that sounds cool. I want the magnet senses. I don't think I want them enough to have a magnet under my skin though #I think I wouldn't use them enough for that to be helpful actually lmao #anyway do I even need more senses? probably not. mine are already unfiltered and loud as shit. #'boy I wish I could sense magnetic fields' says idiot guy who can hear the mains hum even with no electronics currently turned on #like when the power goes out I can FEEL the fucking difference in the air and it's unnaturally quiet and kinda spooky #I do not think I need help on this front actually. I think I got it handled pretty okay lol

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

if anyone needs me i will be rewatching trigun 98 and tristamp over and over until my brain explodes

#had a bad time in therapy today sigh #first time i cried in front of the new therapist wooooooooo #and we havent even started talking about the painful stuff yet. how tf am i gonna handle that #(spoiler: im not <3 we dont have to talk abt it if i never bring it up) #also being. slammed with nostalgia (/neg) and i cannot get rid of it and it fucking sucks #got a. bad taste in my mouth. from like. everything rn #anyway. if anyone needs me i will be bolting myself into a shitty tin can and sending myself to the bottom of the sea. #not to see the titanic bc im not dumb and full of hubris. but just like. in general #im down there now. i want to fucking explode #sorry bad joke <3 i wanna kms so bad. i wanna wake up tomorrow and be in a universe that is Not This One #aaughrggghrghr. im angry and j dont know what im angry at . i wanna. fling myself into space #so instead i will watch trigun and if i start posting about max in the next day or so well can you blame me. #i hope someone draws him for artfight. specifically. hes rlly cool #i have his page uploaded already but im sooooo bad at making descriptions #oh fuck i also learned how to fucking tag things on artfight now omg. i didnt know that was a thing. #how did i do three years of this shit and not TAG anything. what the fuck #anyway. wish i was a guy covered in blood rn. maybe i should watch hannibal instead #is it time to bring out ol reliable and watch the stab scene from mizumono on a loop again #and perhaps i will listen to sodikken misery meat and people eater. idk. spice it up a little #girls when they say they want to be held: screenshot of the way hannibal holds wills face before gutting him like a fish #im feeling rlly normal rn if you cant tell

[terrorbirb]

I think permanent corrective actions and root cause analysis exist solely to cause people with OCD and anxiety disorders to ruin their brains.

#totes bro #every time i make a mistake i make 3 mistakes #1 i mixed up letters in a word and pulled the wrong thing #2 i know i mix up numbers and letters so i should have had a system in place to prevent this #3 whatever system i come up with is guaranteed to not be permanent so if anything similar happens its also my fault #and then it's 'if you keep asking why what is the cause of the problem' #and the answer cant be human error or lack of funds so its some system i didnt design always #and this is sthe same thing if someone else makes a mistake because i didn't design a process that would have prevented that #and once again whatever i do change is guaranteed to fail in the future and then it's nicole didnt you try to fix this already #but often its like some tangential problem like i pulled the wrong qty of the right item #i tell my therapists this and they ask is there an answer where i am not to blame in this entire company and the answer is no #♥️ #because I design the processes and if people dont follow the processes its because i designed them wrong #anyway! having really bad anxiety hours #I've tried to bring this up and I get told 'well design a better process where this isnt the problem ' and that.... misses the point #Because now the problem is i feel anxious because i failed to make processes that are infallible (which is the expectation) and so i need t #make a process to handle my anxiety which is guaranteed to fail #and is also my fault that i feel the anxiety because why didn't i correct for this sooner when i started my anxiety #they say these things like 'look on the bright side you can improve' and really i cant because even if i do i wont fully improve #which you know makes the permanent corrective action not permanent #and they say you know permanent doesnt mean definitely permanent but then any time theres a problem theyre like 'why wasnt it permanently.. #and i try to say you told me last time permanent doesnt mean permanent and its no. bad. youre just trying to stop short of a well polished #process. look at 5s #and it starts over and over and over #i try to say the way we do this doesnt work for me because everything is my fault even if its someone elses error #and because it causes me anxiety because I know no process is perfect but it was supposed to be permanent #but hr my bosses everyone just do not empathize with me at all and cant figure out why im anxious and how this makes it worse #because there's room for improvement! #also if its not clear many of the mistakes are because im dyslexic

[biff-adventurer]

FFXIV COMMUNITY WIDE FYI

-no one expects you to be perfect at rping a non-western character

-however, when rping a non-western character, you shouldn't be doing cursory research by itself

-it is not a high standard for people expect you to take ownership for writing racist tropes by accident. accept your mistakes and move on.

-it is not offensive if someone calls out an action as racist. that person respects you enough to tell you the truth. honor their respect.

-it is not ok to tell people not to feel offended by the mistakes you might make on this journey

-people will inevitably cringe when you get things wrong. it is a part of life. it happens when you learn languages not native to you.

-grow a thick skin. be humble when people offer their corrections.

-it's on you to learn how your character thinks and breathes through the lens of their culture, and how that cultural influence affects them as a person. take care not to literalize this, though.

-ffxiv does not present great examples of cultural knowledge. don't consider it gospel, but inspiration.

-read between the lines of cultural references in regions. be gentle with your assumptions. tread carefully on subjects you write.

-try to learn the irl history, what the irl people think of their own history, and how people talk about their own culture now. watch television, read books, look at philosophies in depth.

-i promise, the real world IS always relevant to the game world. you can't actually escape reality. sorry to be the one to tell you.

-if you don't know what a word means, try to find a different way to write about the thing. 100% of the time, you will find you have avoided doing The Racisms. speaking as an ex doer of The Racisms.

-don't be afraid to ask questions. you look dumber when you assume shit. you might look like a genius if you happen on the right questions.

-have pride in the fact that you are trying. every day, you're getting a little bit better. i'm proud of you for trying your best.

-if you aren't up for the challenge of straying from your comfort zone to learn new things, consider more familiar areas of interest.

-reblog to potentially save other fans of color from future discomfort

#ffxiv #ffxiv rip #final fantasy xiv #final fantasy xiv roleplay #ooc;; #i am SO tired of racism y'all #someone had the nerve to tell me that calling something racist is offensive #like BITCH NO. CALLING A SPADE A SPADE ISN'T RACIST. #DOING THE RACISM IS OFFENSIVE! #anyway i know nobody really cares about this shit #everyone wants to live their fucking oriental fantasy #but if you can't handle my hairy brown ass then you shouldn't be here #if you don't wanna fuckin learn about stuff and wanna stay a frog croaking in a well? you shouldn't be here #telling me my feelings are nbd when i'm literally offended is arguably the whitest thing anyone could do #anyway i love everyone who is just trying to get by out there. #this time i didn't bother pulling out my master's to that person b/c they already showed they didn't give a shit about me or my values #but no i'm not naming names #we should all be living as best as we can regardless #that's what final fantasy xiv teaches us - to try our best to do good no matter what #wherever we can #and to have compassion for everyone who is struggling

[spade-club]

Reminding myself that I did all of my goals I had for this year. Even if some of them turned out to be mistakes, I've come a long way in the past half a year especially, and even if I am currently struggling with the weight of it all right now, these achievements are nothing to ignore or take value away from.

#anyway considering quitting my new job because I almost died for it already and I cant handle all of the all of it. #I had to call out sick today and I got told off and a manager basically said he thought I was lying because I didnt want to work there. #it felt so bad and I just.... ugh #its just all so overwhelming #like. I'm incredibly sick right now. dealing with a whole cheating scandal going on. Christmas was hard as fuck. this new job is overwhelm #I just... cant handle it all. #plus my old job never gave me my last paycheck so I have to deal with that #and I am trying so hard to get in contact with this new therapist guy but I keep just not having time to set things up. #im overwhelmed. so much. #the one good thing I have going for me is my friends and even then I'm starting to feel like a burden on them for struggling so much #idk! its just a lot! #but hey. I didnt kill myself this year! and instead I have been living a life and thats not nothing #checked *kiss a second person* off my list. yeah they were also kissing many people I didnt know about including their girlfriend but ! yk #things happen haha (im devistated) #and I checked off *get a job* and *leave the state I was living in* and *start driving* #and two of those are still going well! #mostly I mean. I do still kinda hate driving and have almost killed myself on accident twice #but really the point is im trying lots of new things and figuring out what works and what doesnt! #im not just living but im alive and thats all that needs to matter #the pain of all of this is the proof im alive and I can still feel. I just am convincing myself thats a good thing

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

i really think im on the upward trend mentally. much reduced suicidal thougths and i went for four days without any a few days ago. this is wonderful.

however i am beginning to stress about uni. it's reminding me of how difficult stress is and how fragile i am actually. but yeah. progress. :)

#im... Not doing well with a couple of work related things and that may drop me in hot water. same with chasing up uni stuff #if i think about handling continuity of care stuff for uni (midwifery) i get short of breath bc stress #but i have to do it so. im sure it'll be fine #and honestly? if i have to go talk to lecturers and say hey im genuinely feeling a lot of anxiety around this and need a bit of a hand #they'll help me. i know they will. they want everyone who is capable of passing to pass #personal #puddleglum hours #honestly even writing this tags out im already stressy again but yea. #i should probably find a job for while im in uni but i might just go talk to my old employers and say hey can i just grab that job again #low stress and all #am realising just how debilitating my stress levels are at times . hm . to be considered .... #because this is nothing like the stress ill have at uni but i can already feel teh stress-avoidant patterns setting in again #yknow te patterns that made me nearly fail a unit last semester? those ones #altho now i have ransom and also a better understanding of those patterns #im not sure if ill find new psych tho by then. haven't done anything about it #and that just adds stress #but anyway yeah at least my commute to uni will only be half an hour to forty five minutes . at old place it was an hour plus #so good

[nerdie-faerie]

This has got to be the worst move out yet

#packing perils #student living #Uni shenanigans #ace is a mess #oh my god. okay so we start on Tuesday ive been gradually moving my stuff over to my friends house #cus were moving in together in September and shes staying in her place over the summer so well have everything in one place to move in #so take some stuff over to hers on tuesday before her shift then we walk to work together i collect her keys and say bye #go back to mine pack up some more stuff warned her i planned on doing 2 trips while she was working so start figuring out whats going #end up with two tote bags a crate a box and a large bag of boxes decide ill take the heavier tote bag and the box on the first trip #as i cant really carry much else with the box due to its awkward size even though its not particularly heavy and cut through the park to #shave off some time feel pretty good when i get there it wasnt unbareable esp after Saturday when carrying 4 heavy shopping bags ended up #covering me in bruises and scratches and messing my back shoulder and neck up so i feel like underestimated myself on this trip and like i #can take everything on the next trip well its already late in the day cus my mate does evening shift so by time i get back its half 9 so i #decide to cut through the park again to save time but the large shopping bag with my saucepans casserole dish etc is difficult to carry due #to how bulky it is and the crate tho it has handles is also unwieldy so my arms are being bruised and scratched up i cant waste time carryin #everything back home just to put one thing down at this point but im considering putting the biggest bag down in some overgrown plants in #the park speeding to my mates and coming back for it its a stupid and risky idea but its getting dark the sun is almost completely set and #no matter how often i rest i just cant manage it and my damn brain starts worrying about being murdered so i ditch the bag and i can move #much quicker now so rush to my mates and rush back reassure her as im leaving hers that i am bringin her keys back its just after 11 at this #point cus its over 35 minutes to get to hers i get back to the park in just over 20 my bag is still there! and i dont get attacked get my #stuff to her room then hustle to get to her job before she finishes at 12 get there a few minutes to spare shes not ready to go yet anyway #she tells me shes not comfortable with me walking back in the dark i should stay at hers i cant ive got an assignment so she says shes #walking me to mine then going to her boyfriends 5 mins down the road get back to mine shower have dinner and crank out my Wednesday 4pm #assignment by 7am go to bed get about 2 hours sleep before tge fire alarm is tested and then ive got to be up for a meeting with our new #landlord anyway and ofc its raining come back from our meeting grab food and start packing up some more sht get buses over to hers this time #together come back pack some more hope the rain dies down a bit but it doesnt look like its stopping and i somehow fcked my foot carrying #stuff earlier so she texts a coworker asking if they can pick us up they agree so organise a few more things but then a puddle causes their #car to break down the next bus is in over half hour so mate decides shes gonna run to her boyfriends to charge her phone while we wait for #the next bus to be due while shes gone i finish sorting things she then calls asks me to book a taxi cus the rain has only gotten worse when #taxi arrives realise that student accom is basically flooded deciding what to do while at hers cus the weather is unbareable she goes to get

[gender-euphowrya]

huge dev update my grandma is gonna see a psychologist

#pogchamp #finally i don't have to play that role i'm not trained or mentally stable enough to handle anymore #she should have gotten therapy DECADES AGO sis lost both her children through tragic circumstances and had a miserable childhood #she didn't because her generation just worked like that ig and i'm not blaming her for not going but i am GLAD she will now #hopefully it works out she So needs it she's got so much on her mind and super bad anxiety #honestly i'm proud of her for even considering it because she used to dismiss the thought with 'eh at my age it's too late' #plus if she sees my psych i can make the trip with her no problem #And i already know him really well so if she's got any questions about what he's like i can answer those ez #honestly he's the first and only psychologist i've been to but he's Brilliant #super respectful super invested in his patients' well being will never pry too far will never make you feel wrong or blamed #absolutely Nailed handling my coming out has a lot of experience with all kinds of people nice and calming and friendly as hell #i hope it's not an issue that i'm seeing him too like idk if they have some sort of thing where #seeing members of a same family could interfere or something #i don't think so that doesn't seem quite right but who knows ??? #anyway So glad for her i really hope she can feel better with this #even if it's just talking to someone about all her thoughts and her fears it's already such a big step to start feeling better #because like. she talks to me but she doesn't say Everything y'know. especially stuff about my transition #she's scared she'd hurt or upset me so she keeps a lot to herself and she just ruminates on it all day long #her brain doesn't have a single second of rest and she worries about Everything #example. she was anxious because her apartment has a bathtub but no shower so she's only been able to wash from the sink #they're going to install a shower soon and she was happy because Finally she's gonna be able to wash herself fine #but now she's anxious about the construction and how she's gonna arrange her furniture and her water consumption #a problem solved = a new problem with her #i honestly suspect she might be autistic because she's also like. very. routine-ish #like This Item Has To Be Here. i have to go to This Place on That Day at That Time #she doesn't like sitting still she doesn't really pick up on jokes and sarcasm there's just... #a LOT of unresolved things with her. she really needs help and i can't wait for her to get it

[berryhobii]

Baby Mama Drama(jjk x reader)

Pairing: BabyDaddy!Jeon Jungkook x BabyMama!Female!Reader

Word Count: 3.2K+

Warnings: reader and Jungkook coparent, they have a daughter who is mentioned but doesn’t appear in the story, reader and Jungkook technically aren’t together but they still love each other and fool around🥴, reader irritates the hell out of JK but he can’t stay mad at them, reader is definitely a little toxic, Smut(18+ but I don’t control what you consume), oral(m and f receiving), 69 position, the sloppiest of top, face riding, fingering, reverse cowgirl, reader rides like a pro, missionary, reader has a tattoo🤭, reader is also dragging that wagon, reader also also has that certified WAP, reader is flexible, squirting, unprotected s*x(don’t do this and then turn into this couple), creampie, dirty talk, one face slap, multiple ass slaps like seriously JK is obsessed with reader’s badonk a donk, a little degradation and a dash of dumbification

A/N: I’M BACK EVERYONE!🥳for anyone who didn’t read my last post, my tumblr was suspended for a little while so that’s why I wasn’t posting. Anyway, it’s over so I’m back to work. This is a piece inspired by @joonberriess and their Sleazy!JK storyline. Shoutout to them. I love everything about the way they write JK and reader so definitely check them out if you haven’t already! Their stories make me want a sleazy baby daddy who can’t leave me the hell alone but I know I’ll never be able to handle that in real life so fictional is good enough for me!🤣this fic is just kind of a reverse of theirs where I made reader a sleazy and jealous baby mama. I know this kind of behavior is a stereotype among the black community but I am in no way condoning it. It’s just fiction and meant to be entertaining. Anyway, please let me know what you guys think as I am always open to criticism and please look forward to my upcoming posts! Much love and thanks for reading 🤎🤎🤎

~

“So, do you have any kids?”

Taking a sip of his drink, Jungkook nodded. “Yeah, one. A daughter. You?”

“Two. Their father is an absolute nightmare though. Thank goodness we have a court order. I can’t even be in the same room as him without wanting to pull all my hair out.” She bitterly laughed with a shake off her head, tossing the rest of her drink back. “What about you? Is your child’s mother a monster?”

Jungkook titled his head, a strained chuckle leaving him. “Um, well she’s…..something.”

The woman hummed. “I get it. A real bitch, huh? I hate women like that. Ones who can’t let their baby daddy’s go and are somehow always around. So annoying. Like don’t you have something better to do?”

“Yeah and I do it 4 times a week in my Queen sized bed.”

Jungkook stiffened at the sound of that familiar voice. There was only one person he knew that spoke that crassly to strangers.

The scent of your perfume and the smell of the mousse you used on your braids invaded his space and solidified that shit was about to go downhill.

The woman, who’s name he don’t think he ever caught, made a noise of surprise once you appeared before her. Your body stood right between her and Jungkook, forcing her to step back a little. Arms crossed over your chest and hip cocked out to the side, your eyes roamed up and down this woman’s body in a scrutinizing manner.

“And who are you?”

Leaning back a little, you plopped yourself right on Jungkook’s lap.

Looking her up and down once more, you answered simply with a big smile, “I’m unimpressed. Nice to meet you.”

Ignoring you for a moment, the woman looked around you to make eye contact with Jungkook who was shooting her a look that screamed, “please walk away!” She didn’t really understand what was going on. Who were you and why did you walk into their conversation on 10 like that? It was one thing to interrupt a conversation but to be that disrespectful to someone you didn’t even know? That didn’t go down well in her book.

Copying your previous stance, the woman replied, “Well I’m unimpressed with your attitude. Didn’t your mother ever teach you any manners?”

“No but she taught me to how to wrap a bitch’s hair around my wrist and keep swinging until my arm gets tired.” Your smile was sugary sweet but your words cut deep like knives. The woman was stunned. No one has ever spoken to her this way and it was a rude awakening. She didn’t even know how to respond.

Not wanting to see you demonstrate your mother’s teachings, Jungkook quickly stood to his feet. “Well, we should really be going. It was nice meeting you. Let’s go.” He grabbed your arms to start pushing you away from the woman.

“No it wasn’t!” You called out, both of you leaving the shocked woman by herself.

Once you two had made it outside, Jungkook’s frustration boiled over.

“What the hell is wrong with you? Why is it everytime I meet someone, you show up and scare them off? We aren’t together anymore. Is it not getting through your head? Like what the hell-“

His rant was flying right over your head because all you could focus on was how unbelievably sexy he looked today. How dare he walk outside like that? And he was going to waste all of that on some random stranger in a bar? Yeah right. Not as long as you had a say about it.

Your greedy eyes trailed from the top of his head to those bulging veins in his neck and down to his soft cock that was pressing against his jeans. Whew, just imaging that monster had your panties sticking to you. It was so big and warm and when he was giving you back shots…..

“Are you listening to me?”

You blinked a few times, your eyes slowing raising until they met the searing glare of your baby daddy.

“Uh yeah. Something about airline prices. So what are you doing tonight?”

Jungkook couldn’t fucking believe you. God you pissed him off to no end but he always had a way of letting off some steam.

“Let’s go. Now.”

“Yes sir.��� You purred with that mischievous glint in your eye. Jungkook’s own eye twitched at the implications behind your tone but he decided to ignore it in favor of turning around to begin walking to his car, you hot on his heels and a Cheshire like grin on your face because you were getting what you wanted.

The drive back to his place was quiet, as was the ride up the elevator and the living room as he moved to sit down. He didn’t even raise his eyes to look at you once since you got in the car. Although you could see right through his petty act.

Flopping down on the couch next to him, your head leaning against your hand, you said, “come on, baby. You’re not still mad at me, are you? I said I’m sorry.”

No answer.

Moving closer to him, your hand trailed over his chest and up to his face to turn his head to face you, lips just centimeters apart. This wouldn’t be the first time you were on the receiving end of his heated glare and it certainly wouldn’t be the last but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t turn you on.

“What do I have to say for you to forgive me? I hate when you’re mad at me, baby.”

“Then stop doing shit that pisses me off and I won’t be.” He fired back, that low tone of his sending shocks down your spine.

“I’m sorry. Now let me make it up to you.” He could pick up on that sultry voice anywhere and those bedroom eyes you were currently shooting him was a dead giveaway as well.

He rolled his eyes. “You need to stop expecting dick everytime you come over here. It’s not gonna fix anything.”

Gasping dramatically, you moved back a little to hold a hand to your chest in faux offense. “You wound me, tater tot. I came here with pure intentions to apologize to you. Can a woman not apologize to her baby daddy without him thinking she has an ulterior motive?”

An unimpressed look crossed Jungkook’s face from your dramatics and from that stupid pet name you gave him all those years ago.

“Whatever.” He mumbled. “Fine. I accept your apology. Just don’t do it again.” A warning that fell on deaf ears because yeah, you’d definitely do it again if needed but for now, you’d bask in his forgiveness.

“Thank you, baby. You know I only want to make you happy.”

“You do,” he whispered, those doe eyes lifting to connect with yours.

Your lips met, your hands pushing Jungkook back against the arm of the couch to climb into his lap. He went willingly, melting into your touch and the feeling of your plump lips. His own hands traveled up your thighs to squeeze at the plushness of your ass, his grip forcing your covered cunt to rub against his growing erection.

His grunts mixed with your low hum of pleasure as you grinded against one another but Jungkook could only tolerate about a minute of that before he started getting impatient.

Groaning against your lips, he struggled out a, “fuck. Sit it on already.”

The sounds of your giggles made him pause, eyes cracking open and his eyebrow raising because what the hell was so funny?

“Oh nothing.” You said as if reading his mind. “I just remember a very certain someone saying not to expect dick everytime I come here yet that same person is telling me to sit on his dick. How the tables have turned.”

Rolling his eyes yet again, Jungkook suddenly heaved himself up, forcing you backwards. Your giggles increased, the contagion of your amusement finally breaking him and stretching a full blown smile across his face.

“You’re so goofy.”

“Then do something about it, Mickey.”

In a show of strength that turned your panties from a pool into a water park, Jungkook heaved you over his shoulder, hand coming down on the fat of your ass.

“I’ll do something about it alright.”

Once you made it to the bedroom, Jungkook tossed you down onto the bed and was about to climb on top of you but you were a little quicker. Grabbing his arm, you pulled him down until he was flat on his back with you straddling his waist—his hard cock pressed right against your clothed cunt, just waiting to be released.

Leaning down, you captured him in another kiss while he captured your ass in his grip.

“Damn I love this ass….” He murmured into your lip lock which made you giggle.

After deeming him throughly kissed, you sat up to take in his flushed face and reddened lips. Perfect.

“Forgive me yet?”

He hummed, fingers playing with the hem of your top. “Maybe after you take this off.”

Ever so compliant, you gripped both sides of your shirt and pulled it over your head to reveal your bare breasts to Jungkook. His eyes could have popped out of his head, the groan he let out a mixture of arousal and slight irritation.

“You’re not wearing a bra?”

Shrugging one shoulder, you simply answered, “I knew I was coming here. What’s the point? Do you want to know if I’m wearing underwear?” That cheeky smile answered the question for him and it only sunk him further into the already unhealthy infatuation he had with you.

Gripping your ass, he roughly grinded your cunt down on his erection. The friction made both of you gasp, the air starting to feel electric as desperation began eating at both of you.

It didn’t take long for both of you to undress each other. Jungkook helped you wiggle out of those tiny shorts you wore, letting out a curse as a little drip of sticky arousal snapped back against your inner thigh. Sitting up, he grabbed the back of his shirt to pull it over his head and toss it somewhere in the room. Now you could feast your eyes on the hard planes of his body and trace your fingers those intricate tattoos that marked up his skin.

Leaning down once again, you trailed kisses from that sweet spot on his neck, down his chest and over his abs until you reached your destination. Your eyes never left his as you began your descent, hands tugging at the waistband of his jeans to pull them down and Jungkook helped kick them off. You licked your lips at the sight of Jungkook’s hard cock slapping against his abs once you freed it from the confines of his pants . He could see that hungry look in your eye, smirking as he took hold of his erection and began lightly pumping it; a motion that drove you fucking crazy was watching him stroke himself. It just did something to you.

“You want it, bug?” He teased to which you nodded frantically.

“Yes, baby. Give it to me.” Opening your mouth, you held your tongue out to lick at it, Jungkook hissing at the contact. He slapped it against your wet muscle a few times before letting the tip slip in your mouth. You immediately wrapped your lips around it, suckling at it like a desperate whore. Which you were but only for him. No one else could make you act like this.

You replaced his hand with your own, licking and spitting all over his cock to lubricate it. Taking him down your throat, you began bobbing your head up and down, making sure to twist your wrist just the way he liked it.

Jungkook let out a series of low moans, curses, and the tiniest of whines everytime you went down. One hand gripped at the ponytail you put your braids up in and one hand behind his head, he let you take the lead. You knew just how he liked it, just the way to flick your wrist and tighten your throat to throw him over the edge in minutes.

Coming off him with a wet cough, you continued to stroke his cock, your spit soaking your own hand but that only helped the glide. Your hazy and hungry eyes stared right into his, your chin and mouth soaked in saliva. “I love this cock so fucking much.” You gasped before taking it back down your throat and bobbing your head.

Tossing his head back, Jungkook let out a strangled moan, forcing your head down. You let him, of course, relaxing your throat so he could fuck up into your mouth.

“Come sit on my face, baby. Right fucking now.” He demanded.

Pulling off him a little, you maneuvered your body until your pussy was right over his face—69 style. He gripped both of your ass cheeks in his palms, pulling you down until he could suck your neglected clit into his mouth.

You let out a sharp gasp around his cock, finally getting some type of relief. Sucking his cock made you a different type of horny and he could see that with the way your cunt was dripping.

His mouth and tongue started going crazy, ravenous as he alternated between sucking and licking, making sure to dip his tongue in your opening every once in a while. His hands continued to slap and grip at your ass, one wandering sometimes to pull your slippery lips apart so he could really get in there.

His hand trailed down from your ass to your tight opening, squeezing a finger into your spasming walls. He located that sweet spot with practiced ease, slipping in another finger in beside it and stretching your snug cunt open. The squelching of your walls was like music to his ears, adding to the salacious ‘gluck gluck’ noises your throat was making as you swallowed his cock.

Since you were horny on your way here, it didn’t take long for that feeling to start burning hot in your belly.

You pulled off his cock but continued to stroke him, your cheek resting against his thigh as high pitched moans left your lips.

Jungkook flattened his tongue, his grip on your ass guiding you to rut against his face. The fat of your ass almost suffocated him but Jungkook couldn’t imagine going out any other way. He hooked his fingers right into your gspot, your eyes rolling back and head hanging low as you used him for your pleasure.

“Oh yes! Oh yes, daddy! You’re gonna make me cum!” Lifting your head, you took his cock back into your mouth, burying it all the way to the hilt in your throat. Jungkook’s hips jumped, him groaning against your clit, the vibrations sending shocks right through you.

A few swallows around his cock and a few more jabs to that spot inside of you and both of you were cumming. Your body tensed, hips rutting faster against his face to ride it out. He thrusted his hips up once, twice, three times before letting out a drawn out moan as he pumped his release down your waiting throat. Your body shivered as buzzing pleasure raced down your back and to your toes. You don’t think you’ve had an orgasm like that since…….three days ago when Jungkook ate you out in his car after he had to pick you up because you forgot to get gas.

Amazing car head aside, the party wasn’t over yet.

“Sit on it, bug. Hurry.” Jungkook rushed you, tapping your ass a few times, his breath labored and tone dripping with desperation.

Good thing you were just as eager because you crawled forward on your weak knees until he was lined up with your entrance. Reaching between your legs, you held his wet cock steady as you slid down on it. Jungkook’s hands held your ass cheeks apart to watch, eyes blurring slightly as your hot, tight, and gushing walls wrapped around him. You weren’t faring much better, your head knocking back as his thick cock stretched you to your limits. It didn’t matter how many times you had taken his cock, the pure g i r t h always knocked the breath out of you. This is why you couldn’t leave him alone, his cock was just too fucking good. You’d be damned if you ever let someone else take it from you.

Once you were settled to the hilt, your body leaned all the way forward to rest between his legs and you began bouncing your ass on his cock.

Jungkook was mesmerized by how your fat ass rippled and moved against his pelvis. At this moment, he didn’t give a damn how many women you threatened or how much you pissed him off; just the sight of your ass and the feeling of your juicy cunt wrapped around him was enough to make him remember another reason why he couldn’t let you the hell go. He loved your pussy too much. And if that wasn’t enough, the sight of that tiny ‘♡JK’ tatted on your left ass cheek certainly let him know.

Jungkook’s hands came down to slap repeatedly on your bouncing ass. “Faster baby. Fuck, this ass is so good!” The seat of your ass was wet from a combination of spit and cum, the wet slapping noises filling the space. Your moans were in competition with the clapping of your ass, your cheek pressed against the sheets and your nails digging into his calves.

“Ahhh! This cock is so b-big,” you whine, “love it so much…..right there….! Oohhhh-ohhhh fuck!”

Lifting up a little and adjusting your knees to a better position, you began throwing yourself down on his cock, the head brushing against every spot you had and sending you reeling. You’d come all the way up until just the tip was inside before slamming back down, the bed shaking underneath the force. Jungkook’s toes curled, your cunt gripping him tighter than a vice.

He was about 98% sure his soul left his body, eyes rolling and head knocking back against the pillows as his lungs struggled for air.

Not able to hold it anymore, Jungkook was quickly flipping your positions. Now it was your turn to be on your back, your legs spread in a wide V shape, his cologne invading your senses and his lips covering yours. He was everywhere, all over you. Your skin was on fire from his touch, sweat soaking your back and air becoming sparse as he kissed away what little oxygen you had left. You were obsessed with him. He was yours as you were his. Nothing would ever change that.

His cock buried itself back into your walls, a deep moan of pleasure getting caught in your throat once he began jackhammering into you. Your hands gripped the bottom of your feet, keeping them apart so he could continue to plow into your soft spot. His hips moved like a well oiled machine, making noisy contact with your ass with every thrust.

Your mouth dropped open, “oh my…..fffucking g-god…!” Tears welled up in your eyes as blinding pleasure spread over every nerve in your body.

Jungkook grunted, his own pleasure peaking at the sight of your fucked out face.

“Yeah? You about to cum? Are you gonna what the fuck I say and stop acting so fucking jealous? Huh?” Drool dripped down the sides of your mouth as you tried to form sentences but hurried ‘yes yes yes’ were the only words you could manage. “How many times do I have to fuck you before you get that through your thick head? I only want you. Fuck you push my fucking buttons but I know it’s just because you want me to fill up this tight cunt, isn’t that right?” A slap came across your cheek, orgasm crashing into your body without warning from the sudden strike.

Jungkook could feel wetness soaking his pelvis and cock, jaw tightening as he began moving even harder—the headboard knocking into the wall so hard that he doesn’t think he’ll get his security deposit back for this place.

“Juicy fucking cunt squirting all over me. Mhmmmm….I’m gonna fill this pussy up. You want that? Want me to send you home with my cum running down your legs?”

Your ears were ringing, his dirty talk propelling you right into another endless orgasm, your toes curling in the air as blissful overstimulation began to take over.

Jungkook wasn’t far behind, a few more thrusts and he was burying himself deep in your sopping cunt. His cock throbbed inside you, the thickness pressing right into your abused gspot. Your hands released your feet to scramble against his back, sharp acrylics digging into his skin and making him hiss in slight pain.

“Ohhhhhh shittttttt….fuck baby,” He groaned out as he pumped creamy ropes inside your clenching pussy, your spasming walls sucking him in and milking him for everything he was worth.

Both of you collapsed from exhaustion, Jungkook’s face planting itself in your breasts and your legs falling weakly to the bed with a light thump. Only the sounds of your heavy breathing filled the room, both of your hearts beating wildly as you two came down.

~

“So am I forgiven?” You asked as you two soaked in the tub, the scent of an apple scented bath bomb wafting around the room.

Jungkook was behind you, head leaned back against the wall as he tried not to fall asleep. “I guess so. Just stop doing that, okay? It’s so embarrassing.”

“Deal.”

A beat of silence washed over the room, just the sound of water lapping against the sides of the tub filling the space.

“One more time.” You suddenly said.

“Huh?”

“You asked me how many times do you have to fuck me before I get it through my thick head to stop being jealous. I think one more will do the trick.”

Jungkook let out a chuckle, opening his eyes only to find your beautiful irises staring back at him with that playful and lustful glint.

“You’re impossible.” He scoffed with an endearing shake of his head.

“But you love me.”

“Yeah, I do.”

#bts #bts x black reader #bts smut #bts fic #bts imagines #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

this is a lil part two for this lil request fic i wrote about katsuki takin' care of a drunk reader ! yall rlly seemed to like it n asked for a part two so, here it is !! hope yall enjoy !

no pronouns mentioned, just pure fluffy katsu, microscopic angst maybe kinda and if you squint HARD (reader gets a little bit upset), soft katsu but he's also an asshat but we love him anyways, mentions of food n eating, mentions of bein drunk, lemme know if i missed sum else !

"ya told me you loved me yesterday."

it's all katsuki utters in the quiet of your apartment as he looks out the window.

you promptly choke on your toast.

you manage to cough down your bread. clearing your throat as you try to speak as naturally as possible. “oh yeah ?”

katsuki grunts in response, taking a sip of his orange juice and smacking his lips before speaking again. still looking at the window and away from you, it makes you nervous. “yeah, thanked me for always takin care of ya, r’something”

katsuki is trying his very hardest to speak casually and he’s praying to every god there is you can’t hear the slight quiver in his voice or see the slight shakiness of his hand when he brings the glass of juice to his lip.

“oh.” your heart beats so loud you can hear it in your ears. you try to salvage the situation and you force out an awkward laugh. “ i mean—i am thankful to you, y’know.”

“ya should be, nobody else could handle takin’ care of your ass.”

“hey !”

you think this is fine. you were drunk and stupid and you’re fine with him brushing off your accidental confession like this if it means it won’t make things awkward. if it means he’ll keep coming over to your house like he owns the place and cook for you because you apparently don’t know how to cook for yourself well enough for his liking. as long as you can keep hanging out with him and going out for drinks and having him take care of you. though, you might not drink as much next time you two go out.

after a minute or two he speaks again “did you mean it ?”

your hand is already reaching for his half bitten piece of toast when you freeze for the second time “did i mean what ?”

katsuki scoffs, smacking your hand away from his toast with two fingers, you let out a little whine “ i know you’re not dumb, so quit actin’ like you are.”

“but i don’t know what you mean !” you inwardly cringe at your dumb response.

“when you said you—“ katsuki cuts himself off with a quiet groan, grabbing his toast and splitting it in half, chucking one of the pieces onto your plate “whatever” he mutters to himself. your heart squeezes when you see the sad frown on his pretty face he doesn’t seem to realize he has.

you don’t know if you’ve still got alcohol in your system, you don’t know if you’ve fully slept it off yet, if you’re fearless or crazy or just plain stupid, but after taking a bite of the toast he’d given you you blurt out something you were sure you would’ve only had the courage to say if you were black out drunk.

“i did.”

katsuki turns to you the moment you finish your sentence, bright red eyes widened as he tries not to let his surprise show, he fails to though. “ you did what ?”

in the back of your mind you want to pout at him because you know he knows what you mean. you know he just wants to hear you say what he wants to hear and it makes you a little grumpy because it’s early in the morning and you don’t look your best at all right now. you’re too embarrassed to even look him in the eye yet his bore into you so hard it feels like a magnetic pull, like you’re being forced to look at him despite your best efforts not to. you want to be at least a little mad but you can’t blame him, you feel like you owe this to him in a way.

“ i did mean it..when i said..” you’re incapable of looking at him as you feel shame creep onto you, clinging onto you like a sweaty shirt, you manage to swallow down the piece of toast“ when i said that.” you trail off quietly.

no sound is made and no voice is heard for at least a minute, but you feel yourself wanting to cry more and more with each second that passes.

you get the courage to look up at him and instantaneously which you never had when you see a smirk on his annoying face.

“that ? that, what ?” he jeers with a grin bordering on evil, sharp teeth on display.

you throw your head back and groan “katsuki, oh my god !” leaning forward across your table you try to pull his nose after you hear him chuckling. he swiftly dodges you, grabbing your wrist and then your other one when you try to pull a fast one on him, unsuccessfully. you grumble as you sit back down and if you weren’t as enamored with him as you somehow ended up being you’d have knocked that stupid smirk off his face. everything seems to be against you, including your heart.

he hums once you’ve sat back down “ooh, you mean when you told me you loved me, right ? s’that what you meant ?” he snickers, shit eating grin on his face. asshole, he’s not even trying to look innocent.

“you’re not funny.” you huff, crossing your arms and glaring at him. “ like, at all.”

“you’re right, i’m not.” he responds, leaning his forearms against your table “ i’m hilarious, actually.”

a part of you wishes you could punch him. hard. another louder part of you just wants to kiss his smug expression off his face, both options sound extremely tempting but one of them more than the other.

“hilariously stupid.” not your best retort, but you’ll take it. katsuki huffs out a laugh as you pout and look off to the side, you’re so fucking cute.

his smirk doesn’t fade as he keeps staring at you but his eyes soften as he leans in to rip your arms away from your chest “ relax, m’just fuckin’ witcha.”

“yeah. haha. funny.” you spit. katsuki starts getting actually worried he’d hurt your feelings and quickly tries redeeming himself. he pokes at your cheek once, twice and you swat his hand away when he goes for a third poke. then he leans forward so he can tickle your side and inwardly sighs in relief when you swat at his hand trying to hold back your laughter. the way he’s leaning against the table is a bit uncomfortable for him but as long as he keeps that warmth on your face he couldn’t care less.

he gets up and grabs his chair, dragging it against the floor causing it to squeak and making you cringe, you let out a noise of displeasure but katsuki doesn't look the least bit phased as he bring his chair to sit next to you.

his cheeks are red, you realize it now that he's sitting so much closer to you. he speaks after a moment of silence "so you meant it, yeah ? when you told me you.." he trails off at the end of his sentence. he's quieter than you're used to. there's a certain hopeful urgency in his eyes that has you shyly nodding your head in response.

he’s looking at you and you’re looking right back

“i meant it.” you whisper.

“i know.” he whispers back after a beat, before pressing his lips to yours.

the kiss lasts about 10 seconds before he pulls away, then leans in again for another, slightly longer one. when you separate your breathing a little heavy. you place your hand on his face and rub his cheek, admiring the way his eyelashes flutter slightly and how the feeling causes shivers to run up his spine. you can't help the goofy smile that pulls at your face and neither can he, you both chuckle slightly.

then you take a breath as if contemplating if what you were about to say was worth it. but katsuki knows you don't care and he's right because you say it anyway.

"we should go out for drinks to celebrate !" you giggle. he playfully rolls his eyes, pinching your side making you let out a squeal.

even though you call it a celebration katsuki knows it'll be the same charade as usual. you'll drink until you pass out and he'll bring you home. he'll help you clean up and take you to bed and have breakfast made for your hungover ass in the morning. but this time, you'll be his. and to katsuki, that's worth so much more than the headache he knows you'll give him.

#here is part two of that lil fic i wrote a whhiiiillee back cus some ppl asked for it ! #hope yall enjoy !! #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugo fluff #bakugou imagine #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugou fluff #katsuki x y/n #katsuki x you #bakugou drabble #bakugou x you #bakugou x y/n #bakugo x female reader #bakugo x reader #bakugo x you #bakugo x y/n

[erwinsvow]

an idea… rafe and shy reader having sex for the first time

everything's overwhelming with rafe, but this is particularly so. you thought you were completely ready for it, from the way you had handled everything else so well. in fact, rafe was the one taking things at the slowest pace possible, trying to make sure he didn’t pressure you into something you weren’t ready for.

you didn’t like it—thought he was trying to be something he’s not. he’s gentle with you but never like this, never to this extent. it must be a big deal then, sleeping with rafe, giving him your virginity, you finally decide, if he’s acting so differently about it.

in fact, you think you’ve been ready to give it up since you first started dating him. rafe brings it out of you, coaxes a different side of you out with gentle words and soft touches. you’re going mad over it. you can’t count the amount of times you’ve crawled into his lap at any given opportunity, anywhere the two of you are alone—his truck, the couch in your living room and at tannyhill, the hidden booth at the country club. you’re begging for it, not sure how much more obvious you can get.

you finally decide tonight’s the night—following a nice dinner with the two of you. you had spent extra long getting dressed up, a pretty white lingerie set on underneath your blue dress, all done up for rafe. finally back at tannyhill, entire body vibrating and tingling with excitement, you don’t wait another moment, crawling into rafe’s lap and kissing him hard. you take off your dress and rafe stops just for a second to take in how forward you’re being.

“hey,” he finally breathes against your lips, pulling away. “c’mon, you’re not ready for this.” 

“yes i am!” you whine, impatient and horny, feeling rafe get hard underneath you. you want him to be able to do all the things you know he wants to do, want them done to you. “i am, i am-” and you lean back to kiss him, ending up pinned underneath him before long.

he knows you’re not, but he plays along. you’re so wet already he doesn’t have to do much, but he makes you cum all over his fingers anyways, hoping it’ll satiate you.

“please, rafe,” you moan against his mouth, pushing in for another needy kiss. “wan’ it inside. please.” and he does know you, knows everything about you, but even he can’t resist when you say things like that.

you watch with big eyes while he lines himself up with your wet hole, hovering over you. you think you’re so ready, that three of rafe’s fingers inside you should be comparable to what you’re about to feel, that you’re more than prepared. your eyes squeeze shut when rafe pushes inside, all the air leaving your lungs. you try to moan out but it’s more of a gasp than anything else, one that rafe swallows into a kiss. 

your eyes get watery—it’s just habit. it hurts, too, because rafe is so much bigger than you expected. you bite your cheek, looking up at rafe through teary eyes and clasping a hand over your mouth—you don’t want to admit that he was right. 

“c’mon kid, give it up. y’not ready for this, i know you,” rafe says, leaning in close to your ear to whisper it quietly. he’s not even half-way inside you.

“i-i can take it,” you hiccup. you hate disappointing rafe.

and it’s not that he doesn’t want to—he does, desperately so, wants to fuck you within an inch of your sanity every time you walk into a room and look at him with your shy eyes and sweet smile. he wants to break you, wants you cumming on his dick until there’s nothing left in your head, no shyness left in your heart. but he wants it when you’re ready for it, not like this.

it only takes another minute, you finally admit you’re not ready, and rafe pulls out of you. you feel like crying, terribly sad and dejected, wishing you could just be normal for rafe for once, be what he wants. 

“stop,” he says, wiping away a stray tear. his arm rests over your stomach, trying to get you to lighten up. “when you’re ready for it, i’ll fuck you until you can’t think. s’just not today, kid.”

you finally agree when he says that, getting over it because you know without a doubt in your mind—rafe knows you better than you know yourself.

#omg what a lovely lovely prompt thank you babe <3 #this may not be what you were expecting #to me the very first time they have sex its too much for shy reader so it doesn't actually happen happen... but it is still the first time #i rlly wanted to write something like what you guys would expect but i really felt like this is more real of their relationship lol #anyways <3 i hope you like it! #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #shy reader