#anyway god i love reincarnation and complete darkness

[nyoomiin]

roommates: part one.

your new roommate is... odd, and recently, so are your dreams. still, despite the secrecy, the mystery, and his ice cold exterior, you have the feeling you'd waltz right into love with him. (maybe you already have before.)

pairing. scaramouche x gn!reader

tags. no warnings, slice of life, fluff, slowburn, friends to lovers, reincarnation au, post irminsul erasure

masterlist. next.

Needle and thread in your hands, a hum dancing under your breath. A bell chimes as a door swings open, and two hushed, urgent voices can be heard. You look up from your sewing.

One, a brunet with a charming grin, and the other, partially hidden behind him. It catches your eye — those violet eyes brimming with curiosity, meekly peeking through long hair, blue as the wine-dark sea. You’re struck with a faint surprise, then a surging sense of excitement.

“Archons, you’re perfect,” someone breathes.

It’s you.

You awaken, mood tinged with a secondhand embarrassment you can't quite place. Stretching as you clamber out of bed, you try to recall the dream you just had.

It's futile. It drifts away.

You're excited to meet your new roommate.

Your previous one had left after he got his own house, so you've had the place all to yourself for the past few months. Frankly it was getting lonely, as peaceful as it was. The "rooms” your landlord rented out were more like apartments, really, with two bedrooms, a bathroom, a living room and a kitchen.

You hope you get along with them, whoever they are. They'd be arriving today, you think. You wonder if they like soup.

Just then, you hear clinking keys, and the front door swinging open. Standing eagerly, you rush to greet your housemate, nervous and delighted all the same. You turn the corner to look, and —

— “Archons, you’re gorgeous,” you breathe.

Sharp-eyed and porcelain skin, a slender build and hair a royal blue — not to mention the way his outfit brought out everything good in him to a tee — white, and blue and utterly angelic. You only realise you’ve said something completely out of pocket when you notice the expression on his face.

You blink.

He doesn’t.

… Whoops?

“Hi! It’s so nice to meet you,” you say cheerily, introducing yourself. You decide never to think about how absolutely horrendous your first impression must be ever again. “Do you need help moving your things? I made soup for dinner — do you want some?”

He shoots you the most disgusted look you’ve ever seen. “Where is my room?”

“Oh! Ehm, it’s the door furthest down the hall, and the bathroom’s the one closest to the living room.”

Saying nothing more, he brushes past you brusquely. Seconds later, a door slams shut with a resounding thud.

You frown, huffing. What a cold guy. Still, did he have to react like that…? Maybe he was shy, or something. Your… blunt comment would’ve caught anyone off guard. Anyway, pretty people are always difficult at the start, you think, reminded of how unapproachable you believed Alhaitham to be before you had befriended him.

Well, you’d just have to try again another time.

Knocking on his door, you call, “I left you some soup in case you get hungry later. Remember to heat it up before you eat.”

You don’t get a response, but you can hear his shuffling footsteps, and you decide that was enough for now.

( Inside, the wanderer curses everyone and the gods above.

To ‘rehabilitate him into society’, Nahida had basically forced him into… whatever this arrangement was. Now, he had to deal with you too?

You knock on the door then, and he stiffens.

“I left you some soup in case you get hungry later,” you say. “Remember to heat it up before you eat.”

He scoffs. Truly, what a fate worse than death. He’d find a new place to stay as soon as possible. The past was no more, and thus there was no longer a reason for your life to be entangled with his.

His heart thuds a slow, steady beat. It's a sensation he has yet to get used to.

Unwilling as he may be, he wonders if your soup still tastes the same as it did all those years ago. )

#—stellaronhvnters. #scaramouche x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin #decided to split the oneshot into chapters bec yes

[xhoneygirlxx]

i personally don't like when people buy me things. often times when someone gets me something i feel bad that they spent the money on me.

anyway here's a little thingy while i work on some writing :)

18+ minors go away

Eddie would be the kind of boyfriend who would buy you things, whether it was a small snack from the gas station or a brand new eye shadow palette you've been wanting for a while, and every single time you'd thank him followed up by a little chastising for spending money on you.

He's told you plenty of times before that he has the money, that he bought it because he wanted to and he likes to see you happy, so there is no reason for you to feel bad that he spend x amount of money on a little gift for you.

After a while he starts to realize that your little rant about his gifting isn't just about you worrying about his bank account but you simply don't think that you're worth it.

This gives the metalhead an idea, for every rant you give him about spending money on you he has to remind you why he does. So, the next time he brought home a little present for you and you reprimand him, he takes you straight into the bedroom where he pins you underneath him and shows you why he does what he does.

"You're so perfect, honey. Did'ya know that, hmm?" Eddie questions, his breath lingers hot and heavy on your neck.

You whine loudly, not just because of the compliment but because of the way he's driving his cock in and out of you so perfectly.

He pants heavily as he pulls back from his spot in the crook of your neck, arms steading him as he cages them by your head. Guitar pick necklace and dark curls dangle over your face, a greek god reincarnated right above you.

"Fuck, you're s'good baby. So fucking good f'me." He praises.

You keen into his sweet words, gripping around him tightly as his words edge you closer to the end.

"Feel s'good, Eds. Love how you feel." You're completely cock drunk, lost in the hazy cloud of euphoria.

A breathy chuckle escapes the kiss bitten lips of your boyfriend, enamored completely on the way he's got you. His rhythm picks up, hips snapping at a faster pace causing the squelch of your sopping cunt to be louder than before.

You're not sure what he does, whether he angles your legs higher to your chest or if he switches the way he fucks into you, all you know is he is now hitting deeper inside of you causing the air to be knocked out of your lungs.

You're a live wire, sparking and crackling ready to explode at any moment. He's everywhere, filling each of your senses, and you're not sure if it's heaven or hell and if this is how you were to go out, you'd be fine with where you ended up.

"S-shit, squeezin' me so tight," Eddie grits out, "You gonna cum, baby? Yeah, y'gonna cum all over my - fuck- all over my cock?"

At this point you're not sure if he's teasing you and quite frankly, you don't care if he was, all you care about is the string in you're belly that's ready to snap.

"Come on, sweetheart, cum f'me. Be the good girl you are and cum."

That's it, that's all you need to hear before you're finally pushed over the edge. You're back bows off the mattress, toes curling so tight you'll probably cramp up, and your eyes roll straight back into your head.

You release with a silent scream, an airy gasp followed by the oxygen being ripped from you. It's a big one, probably the biggest orgasm you've had in your life, and God does it feel good.

It feels like you've been pulled out of your body, floating straight into the clouds only to free fall at a slow speed. You always wondered what people meant when they said they were on cloud nine but now you know because you've seem to reach there in this moment.

It clearly was a big one because the moment you fall back to earth, Eddie already has you cleaned up and a cup of water waiting for you. He sits on the side of the bed, boxers haphazardly thrown on, as he pets the hair out of your face that clung on to the drying sweat.

"My sweet girl, you okay?" It comes out concerned yet not frantic enough to alarm you.

Words seem to be too much of an issue for you, tongue to heavy to move. Instead you resort to nodding your head, giving the best smile you can despite being completely drained of energy.

"Did I go too hard? Was it too much?" Big brown eyes study your face, afraid that you've been injured in some form.

You shake your head rapidly, "M'okay, Eds. It was perfect." Although your voice is hoarse, your eyes tell him all he needs to know. You're being honest.

Letting out a subtle sigh of relief, Eddie coax you to sit up as much as you can, putting the rim of the glass to your lips to encourage you to drink.

"My good girl, did so good f'me." He coos sweetly. Placing a soft kiss to your forehead, he places the glass on the bedside table before helping you lay back down.

Once you're settled back into bed, Eddie takes his spot next to you, pulling you into his chest to hold you. It's silent for a moment, a comforting calm after all that's happened. He lets you soak it up for a moment, allowing you to regain yourself before pushing you to say anything else.

"Thank you, Eds." It comes out muffled from where your face meets the skin of his chest, however he still hears it loud and clear.

It might not mean much to anyone else but to him, it means everything. Finally it's dawned on you that he doesn't just do the things he does because he he feels like he has to but simply because he wants to. It's not just about him fucking the absolute shit out of you but the fact that he took care of you right after, not because he has to or because you made him, it's because he did it out of the kindness of his heart.

You deserve nice things, whether it's a dollar bag of chips or a mind blowing night of sex followed by after care, Eddie does these things because he wants you to know he loves you and you deserve everything good in this world.

He lets these words soak into his skin, going straight into his veins and causing a heat to fill his body. You don't see it, not when you're eyelids are too heavy to open, but he's smiling. It's not a smile from winning a competition or contest, but a smile of pride. He has finally proven to you that you are worth kindness and thoughtful actions without any sort of rebuttle on your end.

"You're welcome, sweetheart. Now get some rest, it's been a long night."

His words seem to soothe you because not even a second later you're humming into his chest contently.

___

This sucks but I felt the need to share. Eddie Munson would 100 percent spoil his s/o and no one can convince me otherwise.

I hope you all enjoy this and if you find any sort of spelling/writing error, no you didn't :)

_ __

#eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x you #im running on fumes and i'm tired so i hope this makes sense lmaooo

[himejoshikomaeda]

LES FOISFOIS FAVORITE SONG FROM EACH TOUHOU SOUNDTRACK

th01 highly responsive to prayers: gotta be eternal shrine maiden. angel’s legend is good, but eternal shrine maiden just has what the PC-98’s soundboard did best. little beeps and boops that somehow sound so chock-full of emotion. fantastic stuff.

th02 story of eastern wonderland: love-colored magic is, of course, legendary, but my favorite for this game is complete darkness. absolutely masterfully work with that melody.

th03 phantasmagoria of dim.dream: obligatory respects to strawberry crisis to make sure i don’t get mauled for saying this, but reincarnation is my personal favorite off this soundtrack. there isn’t really a place to note this, but the SC-8850 version of reincarnation is fucking phenomenal, too.

th04 lotus land story: blah blah blah bad apple okay no but seriously it’s maiden’s capriccio. that’s reimu’s theme. i don’t care about this mystic oriental love consultation shit, this spring path crap. maiden’s capriccio. the imperishable night version fucks hard too.

th05 mystic square: this one is really hard. romantic children rules. plastic mind is unreal. the grimoire of alice fucks. but the best one in my opinion is alice in wonderland. extra stage themes tend to be really good, but i looooooove this one.

th06 embodiment of scarlet devil: locked girl ~ the girl’s sealed room. again being a contrarian here and not picking UN owen was her. cuz. i dunno. i like it.. be nice to me.. side note, but i love how the instruments in eosd and dolls in pseudo paradise sound.. idk, out of tune? it’s nice.

th07 perfect cherry blossom: there are a lot of really good ones here but i’d be lying if i said it wasn’t necrofantasia, contrarian though i may usually be.

th08 imperishable night: i don’t knowwww this one’s too hard they’re all so good.. illusionary night ~ ghostly eyes, nostalgic blood of the east ~ old world, flight of the bamboo cutter ~ lunatic princess, and extend ash ~ person of hourai all come to mind, but honestly i think i have to give it to love-colored master spark. i know it’s not “from” this game but it’s my favorite on the soundtrack, sooooo.. whatever. my list.

th09 phantasmagoria of flower view: wind god girl. “that’s from shoot the bullet” i knowwww shut upppp i’m not doing side games.

th10 mountain of faith: faith is for the transient people, full stop. the gensokyo the gods loved is practically the “touhou theme” to me, but sanae’s theme is like. in my top 3 favorite songs in the series. those guitars kick ass. this game’s soundtrack is phenomenal.

th11 subterranean animism: green-eyed jealousy. followed closely by satori maiden ~ 3rd eye. literally every song on this game’s soundtrack is a banger. a real no-skip album. but i am fucking addicted to parsee’s theme. it’s like bitter, ugly crying as music. i can’t sing its praises enough.

th12 undefined fantastic object: this game sucks ass but the music’s good. emotional skyscraper ~ cosmic mind is the best song.

th13 ten desires: it’s shoutoku legend ~ true administrator, but i wanna give a shout-out to night sakura of dead spirits anyway, because it’s great.

th14 double dealing character: kobito of the shining needle ~ little princess. but i mean. i am kissing reverse ideology on the mouth with tongue. i love you seija i love you shimmy you’ll get ‘em next time

th15 legacy of lunatic kingdom: honestly? unforgettable, the nostalgic greenery. i love the spacey sound of this soundtrack, and none of them capture that sound better than that. the lake reflects the cleansed moonlight is good for the same reason. i have a lot of love for the sea that reflects one’s home planet, too.

th16 hidden star in four seasons: not huge on this soundtrack, but my favorite song is swim in a cherry blossom-colored sea.

th17 wily beast and weakest creature: electric heritage. what a tasty piano in this one. the gorgeous melody is also present in entrust this world to idols ~ idolatrize world, but i like the piano in electric heritage better. idolatrize world is an easy second, though.

th18 unconnected marketeers: this soundtrack is so romantic. very lovely melodies. my favorite is the perpetual snow of komakusa blossoms. it’s memorable to me for whatever reason.

th19 unfinished dream of all living ghost: i’m gonna choose to limit myself to the songs that aren’t covers of existing touhou songs, cuz some of them are pretty similar even if i might like them “more”, like corpse voyage ~ be of good cheer. so i’ll go with the deviants’ unobstructed light ~ kingdom of nothingness. the vocal samples are cool.

i’ll list my favorite songs from the doujin albums in a separate reblog, because damn this is getting long!!

#💘

[lipglossanon]

Lipgloss I have come up with a new type of Leon. What about greek god Leon. Cause some of the mods make him seem like one.

He gets bored one day and decides he wants to leave Olympus and hang out around some of the humans. As he's hanging around then (y/n) comes up to him. She doesn't know hes a god and offers him so fresh picked figs. He is absolutely smitten by her. He decides from that moment further he will do whatever it takes for her to love him. Once that (y/n) has fallen for him, he reveals who he truly is. (Y/n) doesn't care who he truly is because she has fallen hard for him. But because he is a god and she is a mortal she doesn't live as long as him. So he finds (Y/n) in all her lives and she continues to fall for him in every one of them.

Oh but the all the stepdad Leon's as gods are just 🥴🥴🥴. They had all thought (y/n) was her mom when they had meet her because she had similar features, til they had actually meet (y/n). That was all of their mistake. OG stepdad waited a bit to come clean about it to (y/n) once the time was right. She kinda had a feeling but didn't say anything just in case she was wrong. Dark stepdad tells her after a month and she doesn't believe him at first since, she had only known him for a sort while. It isn't til she has a dream about him does she finally do. He's very possessive of her. Not like its anything new. Sweet stepdad trys not to say anything just so she doesn't feel obligated to continue the cycle that they have going. But she wants to continue it. Its the only thing that feels right to her.

OG and Dark don't like to share her with any mortal or god. They believe (y/n) should only be theirs. While Sweet once in a blue moon invites Apollo to join. He has on rule for him. Don't cum inside his darling. Which Apollo follows if he wants to continue fucking (y/n).

Now here is where the smut comes in. He loves and i mean LOVES to fuck her in his temples. As its like a power trip for him. He once thought about fucking her in one of Zeus's temple but he didn't want the old fuck to try and get her. He will find anyway be buried in her pussy. To him its like paradise. He once found a loophole and got her up to Olympus just to fuck her. Then proceeds to her cockwarm him in his private bath chambers. In more modern times he likes to bring (y/n) to tropical places. A private beach with a cottage where he just keeps his cock inside her. He has a pent house in New York where he invites (y/n) to live. That way he can fuck her however he wants to. Has her sit on his face while in the bath she he can eat her pussy. Its his second place in the pent house to do so. Both are totally into bdsm. Uses his godly power to his advantage while fucking her. Once brought her back to Greece just to refuck her in all the locations they had done in her first life.

[I might wait a bit on the blog just because i want to see if others would like to read some of my stuff here. I also love see how you react to them since there no one in my personal life that likes some of this stuff. But i do hope you enjoy this one Lipgloss.😊]

-🐉

Howdy 🐉 anon!! 👋

I love new concepts with Leon; why keep him in a little box when you can make him into anything you want! 🤭

And every time you meet him there’s just something in the back of your mind that draws you to him 😌and the sex is always completely life altering 🤭

But the secret love affair aspect is so juicy 🥵 and then he just keeps finding your reincarnation??? 😩 ugh that’s so good 👏 👏

The temples!!!!! 🫣 yes!! Ugh, and back in ye olden days of Greece, you’re so nervous to blaspheme a gods temple so Leon makes sure to drag it out until you’re just senseless with pleasure 🤭

Awww I completely understand!! You’re always welcome in my inbox 🐉 anon!! 💜 🥰

#ask box #🐉 anon #lipglossanon #lipglossanswers #greek god!leon

[pinkvaquita]

brainrot about gods and freedom again so here's me rambling about the concept of freedom and death being one in the same

I've always loved how people take Venti, a character from Genshin impact and the world's god of freedom, and regard him as not just a god of freedom, but a god of death as well

Freedom in it of itself is meant to be complete unentanglement from holds you to the earth

Death is a very good example of *true* freedom, your body may now be unmoving but *you* are gone, you are free from the world

That is if you don't get hit with the reincarnation spell, then you're running a different kind of time loop

But continuing on, freedom is followed by death constantly, as if it's bringing it with it

Consistently, ever present, it has taken hundreds upon hundreds of deaths for those seeking freedom to actually gain it, and even then, nobody is ever truly free

People are still looked down upon constantly, there is no true freedom

Freedom is only really truly a thing if no one knows you exist, no one learns your name, learns your face, finds reasons to disturb you

But that kind of freedom is lonely, in a way that hurts most, because by any and all reason, you are no one

That kind of freedom gives you no name, no face, nothing

It gives you nothing but the void

I think it's interesting, to forsake the freedom you'd want, where no one would bother, no one would find reasons to hate, in favor of a better kind of freedom

Death beside those you love, no matter the circumstance, as long as you're with them, as long as they knew your name, knew your laugh, and knew you

They knew you

And they stuck by your side until your last breath

That's the kind of freedom I'd like, maybe I'll get it

...MAN THAT TOOK A DARK TURN SHIT SORRY DIDN'T MEAN TO GET PHILOSOPHICAL UP IN THIS SHIT I JUST LIKE THE FUCKING VENTI GOD OF DEATH HEADCANON WHOOPS

SORRY 'BOUT THAT AMIGO ANSIWBAABSIABA

ANYWAY GODS OF FREEDOM ALSO REGARDED AS GODS OF DEATH ARE COOL CONCEPTS PEOPLE SHOULD DO THEM MORE I'M GOING BACK IN MY HOLE

...

* pulls out a notebook and writes this down *

You are a fucking genious

#Never play genshin impact #Neither i will #But i have a friend that has an oc that is the representation of death and OMG THIS IS GOOD IDEAS

[thebindingofpillo]

Bethany

Bethany is a bit of an odd one out, because unlike the rest of the cast, she is not reincarnated! This is her first time ever being alive! The fact that she happened to be Lazarus’s sister was a complete coincidence. This means she’ll never have to deal with unpleasant memories resurfacing, but also that she’s completely in the dark about anything supernatural going on around her. She doesn’t know about angels, or demons, or that her brother is THE Lazarus, and he is totally cool with that, he wouldn’t want his little sister scarred forever anyway. So… Bethany is just a normal gal! A bit of a nerd, she likes comic books and silly t-shirts (the ballama split is her favourite one), is a huge bookworm and while introverted, she still likes to spend time with her friends and doesn’t mind going out with them. Her introduction is done, more stuff about her under the cut!!

Bethany is Lazarus’s younger sister, and has spent most of her life following her brother to the ER. While not sick, Lazarus was incredibly unlucky, and got into a series of increasingly ridiculous accidents, which landed him in the hospital every single time. Anyway, due to the hospital being quite strict with kids running around and/or being loud, Bethany quickly grew up to be a quiet, introverted kid, perfectly content to spend time on her own. Her parents tried their damn best to always have at least a babysitter or even a neighbour watch over her, but more often than not, the very young Bethany was left to her own devices. This resulted in her spending a lot of time in the hospital waiting room, and when she was old enough, the school’s library, where she quickly developed a deep love for reading. While this was a great way for her to pass time, spending so much time in the library took a toll on her social life, and she didn’t have any friends until way later in life. Even now, most of her friends come from Lazarus’s clique, and are much older than her. She met Jacob and Esau in the hospital (they were in the same room as Lazarus) and Jacob was the one who first introduced her to comics (her second biggest passion after the Lord /j)

Anyway, when Lazarus wasn’t trying to end his own life in a very stupid way, they usually visited their grandparents (who are not gonna feature in the story bc they’re either dead or live too far away and I don’t want to design them), and this is where Beth had her first introduction to Christianity. They even gifted her the Book of Virtues! Something she still holds dear to this day. While her parents were usually too busy to give much thought about religion and Lazarus didn’t really care either way, Beth found solace in her faith, which helped her feel less alone in general. Who wouldn’t feel alone in knowing their guardian angel was constantly watching over them? Beth would spend quite some time talking to god and her guardian angel (in private! As to not be caught talking to herself by the other kids) but this didn’t really helpe her make any new friends. While elementary school was bearable, and her classmates were essentially used to the quiet girl with her nose always buried in a book, things took a turn for the worse in middle school. The kids were shuffled into new classes, her old acquaintances ended up somewhere else, and little Beth found herself surrounded by completely new people who weren’t used to her “quirkiness”. Bethany was quickly singled out by her new classmates, and what started as admittedly innocent teasing, quickly spiralled into full-on bullying. More often than not, Beth would find her beloved books damaged, her personal items stolen and her life generally being made hell. This culminated into an incident where all the girls in her class cornered her in the bathroom and convinced her to let them put makeup on her, to disastrous results.

At the time Beth didn’t really have the tools to communicate what was happening at school, and wasn’t really able to understand that the attention she was receiving from the other girls wasn’t… good. But not having had anyone explain to her what healthy boundaries were, she didn’t really understand what she was going through. She would however, develop quite a bit of school-related anxiety, but not knowing anything about this new and foreign feeling, she just never thought much about it and powered through three years of misery. The only silver lining was her brother, who was always there to support her and help her when the stress got too much for her and she risked failing her classes. Thanks to Lazarus, Bethany never went below a B grade.

Highschool was marginally better, but years of teasing and fake kindness had left Bethany absolutely traumatised, so she didn’t really make any friends there either. Lazarus and the twins tried to mitigate the damage, but an eight year age gap is pretty difficult to fill. During all of this, Beth’s only comfort was her faith. She would pray to God every night, and even if He didn’t really respond, talking to Him still made her feel a little bit better.

Once highschool was out of the way, Bethany’s parents pushed for her to get a degree, and she enrolled to study medicine. Spending so much time in hospitals made her realise how much people needed eachother, and she was eager to help. Or at least, this is what she told herself every night, pouring over increasingly difficult books, taking one class after the other. Bethany might have realised that being a doctor might not be the right career for her, but she’s already got two whole years of university under her belt, it would be a waste to drop out now, right? And her parents are counting on her! She would never let them down. When she’s not studying, Bethany is slowly trying to expand her social circle. She met Samson through Esau, and while the two aren’t incredibly close, she still likes him well enough. Her biggest achievement was meeting and getting to know Maggy and Azazel Zachary, two lovely people she met at mass one Sunday. She’s been working up the courage to ask them to hang out together, or even grab a coffee. And that’s where we are now! She’s currently living with her brother in an apartment their parents have rented for them, so Bethany could be closer to her school. Said apartment is also conveniently close to Jacob and Esau’s house, so the four of them can still hang out together after all these years!

Her personality Ever since I envisioned Beth’s character, I knew I wanted her to be like Ella, my favorite character from Lucifer (which is a pretty good show, esp. the first three seasons). Despite her crippling shyness, and still quite a bit of anxiety due to her past, Bethany is trying her best to be more open to new people, even if it leaves her drained most of the time. Even then, she’s not one to turn down an invitation to go anywhere, or do anything, usually being the first one who suggests outings or activities. It’s almost like she’s trying to prove something! Mainly that she’s not the shut-in of her teenage years anymore. This is Big Girl Bethany, and she has tons of friends and is not afraid of anything and anyone.

On the downside, this often makes her… a bit overbearing. Not everyone can handle somebody who tries to be cheery 100% of the time, and Beth might even overstep a few boundaries while trying to be as friendly as possible. And by constantly trying to put herself out there, she runs a big risk of burning herself out, which in turn could reflect poorly on her grades. Her only friends at the moment are the one she met at mass, so Magdalene and Azazel (who she doesn’t know is a demon) and even then, they haven’t really hung out together yet. But one day!

Note, this “party girl” persona is not a mask, she genuinely likes going out with people and making friends, she has to leave herself enough time to recharge afterwards. Moreover, she still feels unsafe about sharing her interests (mainly reading, comics, and being a nerd) for fear of being ostracised like she was in middle school, so if asked about what she likes to do in her spare time, she either tries to avoid the question or change the subject. She knows, objectively, that adults don’t make fun of other adults for something mundane such as liking things but her trauma runs deep. If shown genuine interest and respect tho, Bethany is quick to open up to people, but this also makes her incredibly easy to manipulate (she’d do anything for her friends) so she tends to approach any and all social situation with extreme caution. Very few of her acquaintances ever made it past the “small talk” stage.

Her faith is also a big part of her identity, and Bethany holds a lot of the core Christian values dear to her heart. However, she does not want to push her faith on everyone else, and is an incredibly accepting person. This is also something she doesn’t really like sharing with people though, as she’s been made fun of for being a prude, or for going to church every Sunday. She soon learned that inviting people to mass with her would have been another source of ridicule, so she stopped talking about anything related to the Lord altogether.She has since gotten over this, and while she won’t invite people to mass with her, she has no problem letting other know she’s Christian and reserve herself sometime to pray and do Christian things.

More stuff that I didn’t know where to put

Her birthday is January 9th because of an inside joke with a friend

Eden is deeply fascinated with her. None of the others had any “normal” siblings for quite a long time, and while they’d love to get closer to Bethany, Lazarus is NOT having it, and will chase them away with a broom if needed

Bethany and Lazarus live together, in an apartment their parents have rented out for them. Lazarus was the first to move out, and then let Bethany have his spare room once she had to go to uni, so she would be closer to her school

She still prays to God every night, more as a way to wind down after a long day or meditate on her current situation. It gets worse when she’s really stressed, and she might even need to excuse herself to recite a couple of Hail Marys to calm down during the day

When she was younger, her parents were the ones who took her to mass, but once she was old enough to go on her own they stopped. Lazarus still goes with her sometimes (mostly for the big celebrations, like Christmas or Easter) but 90% of the time Beth goes alone.

While other kids her age had a witch-y phase, Beth had an angel phase! For a brief period she couldn’t get enough information about angels, and still owns a bunch of books about them. In some way, she’s still interested in them, but more in a spiritual sense this time.

Cannot stand horror movies, but will still try to power through them. I weirdly okay with horror comics and books.

Aaand, that’s kinda it! I’m sure I’ll think about ten other things I wanted to say about Beth, but they’re not coming to my mind right now. Hope you’ll like this stream of consciousness that I didn’t proofread! Feel free to ask about her (or anyone else!) my inbox is always open and I have no life.

#reincarnation AU (working title) #tboi reincarnation #tboi bethany #tboi #binding of isaac #the binding of isaac #tboi fanart #character sheet #tboi au #pillart

[cosmicjoke]

Ah, what the fuuuck, this is some of the saddest shit I’ve ever read.

This freakin’ part

“If he could make sense of this, if he could lend it meaning and thereby contain its monstrousness, then he would be some saint of God.  I saw soiled and starving monks in caves.”

Like man, Armand having to watch all the other boys he’d basically been raised with in Marius’ home, literally thrown into a fire and burnt to death in front of him was possibly the most horrific thing I’ve read in this entire series.  That was brutal, man.  And the implications of that quote above, of how the guilt of being unable to do anything to save them, unable to protect them, drives him to needing to believe it meant something, that their deaths weren’t in vain, that this horror he’s just experienced and witnessed wasn’t for nothing, and how that makes him think back to the monks in the caves, to believe, against everything he’s learnt and been taught by Marius, that that kind of suffering, that kind of deprivation and total devotion to suffering, is the only right and meaningful path to God, it’s just really the definition of tragic.  This really is just Armand’s mind breaking, here, scrambling and grasping to make sense of a totally senseless act of cruelty, and the result is his total devotion and sacrifice to this cult which has abducted him.  A devotion which would last for three hundred freakin’ years until Lestat, mercifully, it turns out, was able to break him from it. 

The thing that makes it all so sad, beyond just the horror of it, is how Armand blames himself for the deaths of these children.  How you can see he really believes that this is happening because he went astray from that path of self-denial and suffering, driven home by the accusations of these other vampires.  Armand was vulnerable to it anyway, given his history in Russia, given the path he was on before he was abducted and sold into slavery.  And then it all just sort of culminates on him here, witnessing what he believes is the death of Marius, and then the absolute horror of watching these boys he’s grown up with murdered in the most brutal way in front of him, and converges in this perfect storm to send him careening down the path which leads him to the state we find him in in “The Vampire Lestat”. 

Really, it’s no wonder Armand’s so messed up.  Like Lestat, he only really wanted to do good, was devoted to it even, like Lestat, and also like Lestat, everything came crashing down on him in the worst way to send him into a nightmare of darkness and despair and extreme guilt. 

And it really does explain why Armand did what did to Lestat.  It’s not an excuse.  It’s still wrong, what he did to Lestat initially, and to Nicki, but it casts it in a totally understandable light.  Why he was so shocked by Lestat, why he reacted to Lestat’s willful nature the way he did, the way he was living, etc...  In Armand’s eyes, it was a replay of the very thing which had lead him to experience so much horror, living a life of luxury and self-fulfillment.  In Armand’s broken mind, Lestat must have been like the reincarnation of the very thing which had lead to so much awful suffering and despair for him. 

And then Lestat just cast off the threats of that very same cult so easily.  Dismantled it all, really, with just some words.  The very same cult, threatening him and those he loved with the very same things, which had completely destroyed Armand’s life.  No wonder then that Armand became so sunk in confusion and despair and even madness following it.  He’d just watched Lestat shrug off the very thing which had, for him, controlled and taken over his life for three centuries.  Like Nicki said, things which are impossible for others never seem to be impossible for Lestat.  Or at least, that’s how it seems to those looking at him from the outside.  And you can see how that would be enough to shake the very foundations of Armand’s mental hold and stability. 

Again, it doesn’t excuse what he does to Lestat, and it’s still not right to blame Lestat for any of it happening (Lestat, after all, was just defending himself), but it definitely adds a lot of sympathy to Armand’s actions.  And really, isn’t Anne Rice a master of that?  Going back and showing us that these character’s who seemed so monstrous before weren’t ever really the monsters they seemed to be. 

#The Vampire Armand #Armand #Lestat De Lioncourt #The Vampire Chronicles

[dullweapons]

anacanoa’s thoughts on hylia are more grey : she grew up devoutly religious & knew the reincarnation of hylia as zelda . a girl in her school . a friend she lived near & the one who helped save the world . someone she later reconnected with once they came down to the surface & found her with lamatar — with child .

she continues to be religious until her child grows up troubled . she prays that hylia guides him to a better path but it never comes to that — & ayrin becomes ray . she becomes a demon . ray tells her of how demons where treated at the war & she cannot excuse it completely away as she loved a demon & is now one too . she does not reject hylia but … shelves her . she follows the goddesses teachings but she doesn’t pray for a long time . ana feels almost dirty . not like in an shamed away — but like i cannot eat until i was washed the dirt from my hands .

it takes her time to processes these new thoughts & ideas that challenge her perception of hylia . the more ray speaks ill of her — ana feels both anger towards ray & to hylia … but also to herself . she failed to consider the flaws of her god in a blind worship .

soon enough she … picks hylia back up . in a new light she sees that she does not need to pray or offer anything to the goddess but hope . believe in her that one day you could see the light at the end of the dark tunnel . to her , hylia is a symbol of hope , of betterment , perhaps even of love & understanding . rather then seeing her as a perfect person she understands she to , has flaws .

i suppose the best way to put is like jesus knowing judas would betray him with a kiss but allowed him to do it anyway for he knew to trust god ?? does that make sense ?? idk . regardless , she still worships hylia but in a more … softer way rather than so catholic ? she puts intent into her day to day life to choose to be a lover & not a fighter , a defender not the aggressor . to give back what you take & to know that it is darkness before the dawn .

& ray hates it . he hates this … but ana’s teachings do echo in rays beliefs when he speaks of light & dark are not enemies but rather the same . that there is a balance that must be kept & you have intent in your actions . that things can get very dark but can become bright once again … but often this mindset can get blinded by his anger that he refuses to let go , no matter how much ana tells him it is for the better . she never says she’ll pray for him but that she hopes he can one day heal this pain .

one day i’ll finish reworking anacanoa …. one day ….

#⸻ anacaona : about ✦ i recognize the divinity within me ˎˊ˗

[callsignbaphomet]

Been sitting on this all day and I wanna word vomit about it for a bit. Might put a read more if I think it gets too long.

I wanna move forward in Oracle. What do I mean by that? I mean, in a lot of posts you'll often read phrases like "when he (Jelani) finally gets his memory back" or "when Jericho unlocks his (again Jelani) memories" or when I phrase things that pertain to his "old self" in the future tense. I wanna get that part over with and carry it forward from now on.

EDIT: Yeah, this is long as fuck lol but there is/was a lot of information that goes into this and honestly I tend to overexplain stuff and suck at summarizing stuff. So if anyone actually bothers to read any of this, let alone the whole thing, just know that I love you and you now own my soul.

I have a lot to say about Jela and this entire ordeal honestly speaking. There's a lot to him that was done from the get go, some that developed over time (hell, I'm still developing this as I go) and some that was brought over from other AUs believe it or not. Some was on purpose and some that was completely unintentional. Anyway, if anyone's been keeping up, Jelani is actually what in the setting of Oracle is known as a Maker. To recap a Maker is a god to the gods, the god to a pantheon and so on. If there was a tier list from most powerful to least powerful in a deity sort of way it'd have to be:

1. Maker

2. God

3. Demigod

4. and everything else under demigods.

Like I said in a post like a month or two ago, there is nothing higher than a Maker...except for Concepts (we're not gonna get into those at the moment, those are way too difficult to get into and this subject matter is already difficult enough as it is). However, Jelani falls into a weird category. Originally, back when he was known only as Eldest One, he only answered to the Concept of Existence. The pecking order goes as:

1. Concept of Existence

2. Eldest One aka Jelani

3. All the thousands of thousands of Concepts.

4. Every other Maker.

5. Gods

6. Demigods

7. Everything else

Why the hell is he, a Maker, above other Concepts if they are these uber powerful ideas that answer to nothing? Because Eldest One was the very first thing to be created. Not the universe, not the stars, not planets, dark matter, antimatter, matter or anything else. It was Eldest One. So from Eldest One everything else was made. Eldest One is the foundation for literally everything.

But then why is he born to two berserkers? Because he was "killed off" and was reincarnated and this reincarnation stripped him of his memories, powers and abilities. Whatever he knows before Jericho was slowly unlocked on his own and even then he's still operating at 1% of that power.

As Eldest One he was instructed to create a patheon, it would be the very first pantheon--the Primordial Pantheon. From this patheon came Jericho, Iain and several other unnamed gods. As life kept creating itself and evolving each god fell into a role. Death, life, afterlife, creation so on and so on. Concept of Existence took a backseat and just monitored everything. The only thing They had to do was make sure existence kept going, no matter what. As long as there was existence They really didn't care how it was. They would also task Makers with this job: keep existence existing and if there was a threat to existence it was any and all Makers's job to snuff out that problem no matter who or what it was.

CoE sat back and relaxed, made Eldest One an Arch-Maker and for millions of years shit just happened. Some few millions of years later, if you wanna put a timeline to it I guess you could say a little before the Big Bang, Eldest One needed some help managing shit and who better than Jericho. She was trustworthy, reliable, loyal to a fault and capable so Eldest made Her a Maker.

*Makers aren't born, they are ascended by other Makers.

Iain was sort of put off by this because She felt She could do the job better than Jericho could. Could She? No, She was always busy handling Her own thing and was about as helpful as a dick on an elbow but She still felt some type of way. So instead of proving Herself useful or you know, doing Her damn job She instead started spreading the rumor that Jericho bribed Her way to that position. Iain legit thought Jericho was a total yes man just to get rewarded but that was not the case. The rumor spread between the pantheon and other pantheons were starting to lose control of their ranks so to speak and this in turn caused some turmoil and creation as a whole halted. CoE was summoned but all They said was that it was in the hands of the Arch-Maker (Eldest One). Long story short an uneasy agreement was reached but Iain being Iain She kept inciting others behind Eldest One's back which culminated in a coup because Iain managed to convince many gods and Makers that Eldest One operated by favoratism and only those They were fond of could rise to power and before you know it the vast majority of these deities were against Eldest One and Jericho along with a handful were on Eldest One's side. Unfortunately with time Eldest One grew paranoid and trusted no one, not even Jericho. Time passes and the paranoia grows more and more, unrest gets worse, bickering gets worse and creation suffers. The realm being created is almost at a standstill with nothing progressing and a war is almost fully developed until it blew up. An old god of death wanted an audience with Eldest One to see if something could be done to ease tentions but an argument broke and Eldest One killed the old god of death. This was the first ever recorded death to take place. Their corpse was tossed into the half-baked realm to be displayed for all to see and when another Primordial god came forward Eldest One killed that one in a way that caused a massive explosion and from the body and soul came the Big Bang and put everything into motion. However, Eldest One was sort of in a state so a war broke out and They intended to go for everyone since everyone had turned Their backs on Them. Not true but They were so deep in Their paranoia and hurt by it all that They couldn't see reason. Jericho tried to stop Them but They saw it as an attempt to kill Them so Eldest One attacked and injured Her and before They could kill Her CoE finally stepped in and restrained the Arch-Maker but millions of years of paranoia had kind of taken their toll on Them and They were deep in a sort of psychosis. Given that They were immensely powerful and currently a threat to existence CoE had no choice but to kill Them. Sort of.

CoE killed Them physically but Their essence was very much alive and floating in the aether trapped in complete silence and darkness for actual eons. Everyone and everything else thought They were dead and the surviving gods of the Primordial pantheon disbanded though none were ever the same again and no one knew it all started because of Iain's bitch ass.

Here's the thing. CoE could've killed Eldest One but They were the foundation for creation and if They die everything else dies with Them and CoE would have to start all over again. So CoE decided that freezing the prince of existence away until They calmed down was the best choice. They could and should've left Them trapped but CoE had placed a timer on Their prison and when it ran out Eldest One was released but instead of just coming back They decided to move on. Basically the equivalent of changing your name, changing your look a little and moving to a different country to get away from your toxic and bullshit family only a little more complicated.

Memories? Scrubbed clean. Powers? Locked away. Essence? Killed off and passed onto a new self. For all intents and purposes Eldest One is dead and the new owner of the title of prince of existence and the new Arch-Maker is Jelani. Neither of them are the same person. At all. However, Jelani inhereted several things from Eldest One and you can argue that it's not fair since he wasn't responsible for any of it nor did he ask to be the new Arch-Maker and prince. It is what it is though.

So instead of being born a Dreadstar berserker as he would've been had Eldest One not passed on Their role to Jelani he was born as the new Arch-Maker. So what does that mean for him? A lot of things actually. He inherited the powers, abilities, privileges, status and all the negativity as well. When word got out that Eldest One was now this person born from mortals (using that term loosely here, what I really mean is not of divinity) and raised as one all eyes were instantly on him. Both Iain and Jericho knew CoE couldn't just kill Eldest One and they waited eagerly to find Them again and exact revenge in their own way. However, through the years She had Her suspicions about Jelani but She had no tangable proof. She'd get close and observe and even tried to test him in ways to see if what She suspected was right. She even went so far as to try to kill him (managed to injure him though) but She knew better and this inkling of a feeling in Her chest wouldn't let Her do it. She still absolutely hated him, hated him so much She would torment him with hallucinations, night terrors and even made his sleeping disorder worse at times. Speaking of, yeah, the constant migraine attacks he gets are because of Eldest One. CoE crushed part of Their crown and stabbed a bunch of the shards into the right side of Their head and face, which is where the migraine attacks always hit Jelani. Jela's phobia of the dark is the result of Eldest One being trapped in darkness for millions of years. Like I said, Jelani inherited all the negativity from and because of Eldest One. Along with that Jericho and Iain's hate as well as the hatred from thousands of gods and Makers. So when Jericho fully confronted him She saw he couldn't remember anything, hell, he didn't know Her at all and that's when She put two and two together and honestly felt disgusted that Eldest One would just place the burden of it all on him without his consent. She saw how confused by it all Jelani was and to be frank he's had an identity crisis his entire life so in an act of "kindness" She placed Eldest One's memories on him and unlocked all the powers and abilities. No, She shouldn't have done that because She set in motion a lot of bullshit.

Now Jelani was aware of a lot of crap he honestly was not prepared for, was pretty much outted to a ton of other powerful forces that hated him for shit he didn't do and wasn't even aware of, exposed him to Iain and severely pissed off CoE. No one aside from CoE and Jericho knew the truth and as much as Jericho wanted to clear his name She was silenced by CoE so Jelani bore the brunt of it all. Jela wasn't quiet about it though, he was adamant that he wasn't Eldest One but it mostly fell on deaf ears, no one (I'm talking in a cosmic divine level, not his family, friends or non-divine) trusted him and like I keep repeating a lot of them hate him for what Eldest One did. The stress of it all was crazy, he was constantly attacked and/or threatened not just by Iain but by other divinities. He barely slept, barely ate, barely got out of bed and for the second time in his life he actually tried to kill himself but Jericho stopped him. She managed to calm him down enough to get him to see reason mostly in the form of convincing him that he couldn't do that to his husband, his brother, his family and friends. She was basically his one and only (divine) ally.

So after begrudgingly accepting that that was how shit was gonna be from now on he and Jericho went after Iain. Took a while but in the end he managed to kill Her but not before getting Her to confess that She was the one that initiated that whole mess. So what happened after that? Even after all that trouble and hard work a lot of them still didn't trust him but they didn't full on hate him especially when Jericho vouched for him. In the end Jelani wants absolutely NOTHING to do with being an Arch-Maker or anything to do with outer and cosmic gods and the Concepts. He finally got his answers, for better or worse, and unknowingly carried out Eldest One's revenge. Jericho volunteered to take his burden as prince of existence and as a secondary Arch-Maker to carry out all of his duties. Where does that leave Jelani? Self exile. He gave up his duties as prince of existence but he is STILL an Arch-Maker and his place in the pecking order hasn't budged. All the perks and privileges are at his disposal and all that good shit that would make anyone lesser than go power hungry are his but he doesn't acknowledge it and doesn't use it UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY (read: some world ending catastrophy). Yeah, he was bitter for a while and a little lost to be honest but eventually he went back to his old self. CoE tries to steer him back but Jelani pretty much ignores Them and doesn't talk to Them unless it is the absolute last option. Think of it as him going no contact with CoE. Jericho shows up every once in a while to check in. Both he and Jericho were fucked over and a sort of weird friendship formed between 'em.

With this sort of parallel to Angelus it made both his and Angelus's love all the stronger. They both saw themselves in each other, born as something unexplainable, often ostracized by others (Angelus for being a Crossedbreed and Jelani for being the son of two berserkers but not being one himself, feeling like he was a complete disappointment to his family given the rich history of his family from his mother's side), never having the chance to fully understand who they really were because of outside circumstances, being hated for being born something that was completely outside of their control, being completely misunderstood and often times the subject of jealousy from others coveting their power and abilities. Both actually got to a point where they thought of themselves as dangerous monsters and were so afraid of hurting other people but the truth is both are extremely caring, loving and protective people who would rather hurt themselves than to hurt someone else especially loved ones.

With this development a lot of other story-arcs open up especially one of my favorite ones that I'll sit down and write someday lol. Some older enemies become a little more threatening, others become lesser than and other ideas can be explored. I just thought it was about time I moved this forward. I wanna move a lot of things forward but this is already long enough. If you read this to the very end you officially own my soul and I love you.

#Jelani tag #<- goddamn it i love them so much like i put them through hell and dragged them through the mud and all but he comes out of it #bruised battered and scarred for life but they make it out #the parallels between him and Angelus are pretty obvious for anyone that's been paying attention but i feel like it draws them to each other #and makes their bond and love all the stronger 'cause they just get what each goes through even if it's a different kind of messed up #i'm so fucking serious when i say i'm so proud of this oc i just think they're neat and i love them so much #they're my little baby #pretty much on the same level as Angelus is #Oracle tag #Oracle Corp tag

[goodieghosty]

What if Virgil had died on the battlefield instead of Orpheus? 👀 w e l l! Thay would be tricky, and would mean the enemy had divine weapons on their side.

And would also lead to Virgil begging Orpheus to take his title and powers, with his last dying breath, because "you are the only one I trust to do this. You're the only one who can-please." Knowing that of he dies with no one to take his place, it'll be catastrophic. And he wishes it didn't have to be like this. He never wanted Orpheus to ascend to godhood like this

Things are... tricky, afterwards. Grief makes things feel like they're moving at a snail's pace. Orpheus spends his time spreading Virgil's message-which soon becomes his own. His way of honoring his lost love.

He doesn't know what he's doing for the longest time, but he can only hope he's making Virgil proud.

As for Virgil, what happens? Does he become reincarnated? Well-in a way. Part of himself is, however, another part is trapped in the divine weapon that killed him. Which now sits in a museum, awaiting the day it's reunited. And it will be. When a visitor is inexplicably drawn to touch it and the entire city is suddenly plunged into darkness

Mortal bodies cannot withstand the soul of a god. Mortal Virgil was born weak with white hair and a birthmark that took up 70% of his body and was often painful to touch. Anyways- his mortal form is completely torn to shreds now, and the poor newly born again god is left frightened in this museum as memories begin to flood back to him

Orpheus is called down to the mortal realm to handle it, darkness being his thing and all

And meanwhile Virgil has reverted back to his once feral state that he had when he first came down to this plane all those years ago. It ah, takes a lot of time to get him to calm down. And it takes Janus seeing him to recognize that it's their Virgil. Which is, ah, very emotional. And Virgil is overwhelmed because he just lived through millennias of memories in the span of a day

And where is Remus, if Orpheus never died and was never reincarnated? Well, he's still born. With a mortal twin brother. He's less chaotic here, still kooky. And goes by Romulus once his brother passes, to honor him. His brother loved this one creation he did, roses. So Romulus spent much of his time maling more, and all sorts.

#goodie talks #godsides au #character Death #calling this #??? #the death swap route #idk #deathswap

[sharlulu]

Hi! Hi! It's me again! Loved your previous answer! Stephan and Gray are truly made for each <3

Also if you don't mind I'd like to know which manhwa/manga are your favorites? And which underrated manhwa or anime would you recommend is a good read/watch?

Thanks and have a good day!! (Guessed it might be day where you are since our time zones seem to match. It was pretty late where I live too when I sent the previous ask😅)

Hi anon! Yup, it's day for me too, hehe.

Fav mangas:

Pandora hearts (i actually own physical copies of this one; if I were to rank my favs, this would take the first place. Great worldbuilding for a fantasy story, great characters, and the end just left me in tears) completed

Witch hat atelier (started reading it not long ago, and just loved it! I adore the magic system here and the concepts that this story explores are also immensely interesting) monthly updates

Frieren: beyond journey's end (a very melancholic fantasy story, I loved the atmosphere and the characters; and the artstyle was also great)

The apothecary diaries (one of my fav main characters and a great detective-ish storyline + palace intrigue + setting in ancient china) but oh my god are updates slow

Adabana (a very dark story about sexual abuse, murder and just angst in general. Nearly all men here, except for one, are trash. I guess this has an interesting potrayal of female rage and I'm pretty sure that the main heroines loved each other) completed

Fav manhwas and recs:

Duty after school (one of my first favs, has a very interesting artstyle and storyline. It's, hm, humans vs aliens war, but focuses on the characters and their relationships. And, eh, they are all high schollers) completed

Annarasumanara (actually has a k drama adaptaion, beautiful love story, just vibes no plot) completed

Hand jumper (has a very interesting fantasy concept with a morally grey and very smart mc, who is also not op) on hiatus

The weight of our sky (a story inspired by real events in 1969 kuala lumpur malaysia, emotionally gripping and also made me cry) completed

And ofc weak hero ;)

They are all available on webtoon btw. And I would say that half of them are criminally underrated

Oh and i also have the guilty pleasure of reading all those villainess reincarnation manhwas. Tho i never finish them 😅. The only ones which i can kinda recommend are Your Throne, Raeliana, Who made me a princess.

Underrated anime recs (not sure if these are underrated, but anyway):

A place further than the universe (slice of life, a nice story about chasing dreams) 13 episodes

Death parade (have no idea how to describe this 😅 interesting concept and great execution?) 12 episodes

March comes in like a lion (a story about a shogi prodigy; focuses more on internal struggles that actual shogi. I'd say the season 2 is better that the first) 2 seasons, 22 episodes each

Magi (typical fantasy story with great animation and character design. Keep in mind that it's not finished, and won't get a continuation any time soon) 2 seasons, 25 episodes each + a prequel

Whoa, that took a long time 😳, thanks for the ask, i had so much fun making this list, hehe

Have a nice day, anon!

#manga recommendation #manhwa recommendation #anime recommendation

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Hi do you have anymore facts about your OCs? I really enjoy hearing about them 💕

Anon, first you must know how much messages like these warm my heart. They make me happy as a clam, friendly as a fed cat. You are the light that makes life that much better, in a world that is sometimes very dark. So just know that.

Now, let's see if I can't treat you.

Something I've recently realized/decided is that there's no reason Luca and Rowan cannot both be Prefects. Why not? Because they were assigned to the same Dormitory? That's hardly a reason. The game itself even plays with this idea, what with the question of Charlie and what happens if MC is a Gryffindor Male. At least in HPHM canon, two boys, two girls, or anyone else, can be Prefects together. So to that end, I say both Luca and Rowan were Prefects, and would have been Head Kids together. Dumbledore even told Luca as much.

What I know about Luca is that they endure a devastating loss in Year 6. This is just the thread of their destiny, there's no severing it. When I initially wrote them, it was Jacob. As of the canon, it's Rowan. But by definition, my "Rowan lives" AU would still always feature Jacob's death in lieu of Rowan's demise and, frankly, I still feel as though the loss of Jacob suits their character and story a little more. But Rowan can work as well.

I'm still so damn torn about Luca's career, though I have narrowed it down to either Healing or working with magical creatures. Though they have the skillset to teach, they won't. The only subject they'd ever want to teach is C.O.M.C, and we all know that job goes to Hagrid. Even if it didn't, Luca would step aside for Barnaby. They don't want to be back at Hogwarts anyway. If they go into Healing, they can have a constant support system in the form of Chiara, Penny, Talbott, basically anyone who showed interest. I can head-canon them as becoming Healers too.

But the main problem? Luca is not a good student. They get pretty damn terrible Marks, and I've even toyed with the idea of having them fail their O.W.L.s. (Not that it's possible to do this in the actual game.) And since Healing is the equivalent of becoming a Doctor...yeah, St. Mungos won't take them if they didn't have the Marks. By contrast, Luca would work well with creatures, but I don't know who would go with them, and I don't want them to be too much like Newt, y'know?

Let's get into later life. Into Luca's adulthood and golden years. I've thought about fan-kids a lot. I've debated the idea. What I do know more than anything is that I want Luca's child to be called (or have the nickname) "Pip" to echo what Jacob calls MC in the game, but not because Luca gives them the name. It's a coincidence. It's something I've done with characters who have been versions of a potential kid for Luca in the past - though Scruff's character is probably going to be reincarnated somewhere else. The one thing I know for sure is that Luca's child is adopted.

I had this idea recently, that they could have a child called, "Pippin." Because it's a gender neutral name (I think...) has the "Pip" nickname, and it just generally sounds nice to me. The only thing that really stops me (and god if this isn't ironic) is that I know Pippin can also be a nickname for "Peregrine" (or at least it was in LOTR.) Speaking of birds, Pippin's Patronus is a Cardinal, and yes, that is completely because of The Owl House. What can I say, I love me some Flapjack.

I've semi-committed to Chiara in my Luca file, but I still might go with Merula as Luca's canon love interest, because this dumbass just can't make up their mind. Ah, me. Either way, something else I could do. (That I've see other people doing, anyway) Is writing new OCs to be love interests to their original OCs, and I might consider that but I don't really have any ideas for that. Either way, I see Luca being the sort of person to take relationships slowly, even when they're sure about who they're with. Possibly not marrying for several years. Which isn't to say they have issues with commitment, (Gail is the one who is more likely to have that problem) no, quite the opposite. Like, I could just as easily see them jumping into something if it felt right.

I originally gave Luca heterochromia by means of one of the magical eyes, like the one Moody has. Trouble is...as silly as this might sound, it's a bit overpowered. MC is already an Animagus and a Legilimens, do they need X Ray vision as well? Then again, I consider it to be a bit of a theme with Luca that they have great power, but they resist it. Or, maybe I should say potential. Luca will never be a truly powerful mage because they refuse to harness their power - much to the frustration of people like Rakepick. So Luca might just have heterochromia naturally (or may not have it at all, who knows) but I also really like the idea of them losing an eye to the Ice Knight? It really symbolizes the beginning of their quest for Jacob - everything up to that point was just tutorial, really. But in the Ice Vault, Jacob directly speaks to MC and gives them a mission.

For this reason, I've also toyed with the ideas behind other magical powers and signatures. I've said this before, but between Luca and Gail, one of them will become an Animagus, the other will master the Patronus prior to adulthood. But neither of them will have both abilities, because that's just too OP. The only question is, which ability suits which character? On that same note, one of them will master Occlumency, the other, Legilimency. The trouble is, Luca is open and Gail is private, so Occlumency makes more sense for her...but so does Legilimency because Luca considers it invasive and would never use it, meanwhile Occlumency is also more defensive, which suits Luca's style. At this point, Luca's Animagus form is an Otter and Gail's Patronus is a Gazelle. But I could just as easily flip those. (The abilities, not the animals.) I wouldn't be surprised if, after Y6CH18, Luca lost the ability to cast a Patronus...for a while, anyway. George had something similar happen to him after losing Fred.

Thinking about other magical signatures, I can't think of any greater Erised vision for Luca than the one the game provides. In this particular instance, the canon is bang-on. Luca, Rowan, and Jacob all together? Is Luca's dream future come true. I like to imagine that Luca had a very level head about the Mirror and was wary of it's power. They could see how much it was affecting people they cared about like Tulip, Merula, and Talbott. At the end, when Dumbledore offered to let them look, Luca refused...but curiosity, their most Ravenclaw trait, overcame them, and they looked...doing so affected them a great deal, but fortunately, not in a negative way. They dreamily told Dumbledore that what they saw was none of his business, before returning to the Hufflepuff Basement. When Chiara asked why Luca was so distant (albeit in a great mood) Luca simply said. "I looked into The Mirror...I know my Heart's Desire now. I s'pose...it could never have been anything else." I do think they shook off this trance-like state by the next day, but Luca is the kind of person who's very in check with their emotions, so while the Mirror would have a profound effect, I also don't think it would debilitate them the way it would for someone like Harry, or Tulip.

So, Luca's Boggart. It's tough, because as far as their primary phobia, I'd say they're claustrophobic. Locking them in a closet or something is a great way to make them panic and cry. (LGBT metaphor, perhaps? Nah, it's a coincidence.) In timelines where the Lethifold incident happens, they also have an irrational fear of cloth in general. (Something I consider an homage to the best Albus Potter fanfic ever.) but in those cases, their Boggart could take the form of the Lethifold. All I know is, it's not Voldemort. It was never Voldemort. I think Jacob makes a hell of a lot more sense, for canon MC and for Luca. But after the Portrait Vault...it could change to Merula being tortured. I dunno, I don't really have a set and defined answer for this one, but I think I'm still gonna go with my original concept of it being Jacob, and later changing to Merula in pain. Because Luca loves them both but it's very complicated because they're both...flawed people. And because of them, Luca will always seek out toxic people and relationships, all unconsciously, because that's what they learned.

Luca's Amortentia scents are a bit simpler and easier to nail down. First of all, anyone who smells Luca in their potion will smell the scent of cinnamon. This was decided long before a certain other character was confirmed to have that scent, and I refuse to relinquish it because I like cinnamon, and because there is still no possible way Alanza could have known that, not without being much closer to Rakepick than she claims to have been...anyway. Luca themself would inhale the scent of cat fur, which reminds them of their beloved kitty cat, Mitten...as well as the scent of candlewax, which takes them back to late nights studying in the library with Rowan, and finally of liquorish. Which might seem odd, but it comes from memories of Jacob, and of eating that candy with him. I could easily substitute one of these for something like cloves (Merula's canon scent) or vanilla (my headcanon for the scent of Chiara's hair.)

Something I've had be true in the past is have Mitten, Luca's cat, be a mirror of Merula (at her best) and have Bitten be a mirror of Luca (at their worst, bless Bitten.) Which is why, in past versions of the story, Luca and Merula have both been Animagi and their forms have resembled Bitten and Mitten to the point of looking identical. It's why Mitten has been snowy white and Bitten has been soot black. But here's another place where I'm too damn fickle. Because none of the skins for the cat look enough like Mitten, I've been using the Kneazle Kitten to represent her on my file, but I'm kind of torn on that because...well, personally? I don't really like it when a fictional universe creates an animal that is just a real world animal but "intelligent." This is usually done to have a version of said real world animal as more of a character...y'know, you can always just, like, have a version of that animal as an intelligent character. Cats aren't stupid. (Neither are dogs, Martin.) But I also really like the look of Kneazles in general. The coloring of Mitten and Butten was also something that was reflective of the whole "yin yang" idea, so that could change. I could even have Bitten go with Luca, and Mitten with Merula. Or entirely different characters.

Or I could keep absolutely everything. I'm a really fickle writer if you hadn't noticed.

Something else I know about Luca is that they had Dragon Pox in youth. When they were young, well before Hogwarts. Jacob had it too, he brought it home from school. So this was before he went missing. Luca was cured by the time enrolled at Hogwarts, but they still had (and have) scarring on their back and legs that occasionally gets irritated, though this can be temporarily alleviated and cleared up with potions. Otherwise, I like to imagine Luca has pretty well kept skin without really trying, so no one would ever expect this. (In stark contrast with Gail, who regularly picks at any visible skin as a kind of nervous habit.) Speaking of the time they enrolled at Hogwarts, I further like to imagine that their sorting was, not a Hatstall or anything, it was pretty quick - but the second House that the Hat considered for Luca was Ravenclaw. Which is ironic as Rowan would have gone to Ravenclaw if not for them asking to follow Luca into the House of badgers. Hell, they might have both asked. Luca, expecting Rowan to make Ravenclaw, might have asked to go there, but the Hat refused because trying to choose a House for the sake of a friend is much more "Hufflepuff." Which is why it agreed to Rowan's request instead.

This can reflect the rather close relationship Luca has with the House of the Eagles in particular, outside of being a Hufflepuff. Some of their favorite people, including Tulip, and the one teacher they actually bond with, Flitwick, hail from Ravenclaw. But I also tend to think Luca's personality type compliments Slytherin most of all. One of my favorite tropes being, if you couldn't tell, that "the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one." But I sometimes wonder where Jacob Fawley would go. In canon, he goes to MC's House, but he doesn't have to in head-canon. Sometimes I like to think of the Fawley kids as a trio, each representing different branches of this world. Jacob's want (again, ignoring canon) has a Phoenix core, Gail's has a Dragon, and Luca has a Unicorn. She's a Slytherin, they're a Hufflepuff, and I feel like Jacob might have been a Ravenclaw, too. Luca is the heart, Jacob is the brains, and Gail is the brawn. (Though if you ask her, it's the opposite, and she's the brains.)

We have a problem and his name is Peregrine. Far be it from me to negate the "evil parent" trope, I mean, I literally went with that in my original headcanon, and I think censoring that to be an uncle, or something, is...well, ignoring that parents can very often actually be evil. Trouble is, Luca's father, and their mother, are characters I've been working on more as time has gone on. Their names are, at least currently, Kenzie and Farrah. And Kenzie is, so far, a good man. The brother of Alice Longbottom, who, like Kenzie, was born with the "Fawley Curse" suspected to be the cause of her unfortunate fate. Not every Fawley, but most, are born with the "Mark of Despair" on their right hand, which is why Luca often wears gloves. I've given it different designs in the past, but right now, I'm thinking of it as a Black Rose. Kenzie lost both his sister, and his twin brother Callen, who committed suicide. It seemingly drove him mad, and he tried to remove the Mark by amputating his own hand. The Mark simply reappeared on his left hand, because - did he really think it was going to be that easy? Eventually, I'm thinking he died from dragon pox, but perhaps not.

Meanwhile, Farrah Fawley was born Fatima Farrah Shafiq, the other family on the Sacred 28 that we don't ever see. So Luca, Gail, and Jacob are all biracial. Half Middle Eastern, and Half...probably white, I guess? The Fawleys ancestry traces back to the War of the Roses so I suppose it makes sense. Wizards don't particular care about religion, but I'd imagine that the Fawleys were raised Jewish. Because I've always head-canoned Rowan's family as being Jewish as well, and that gives Luca and Rowan another icebreaker, so that's nice. I'd also imagine Luca is Lactose-Intolerant, and Gail is Dyslexic. I've talked about all of this before. But getting back to Farrah, she's been written to be evil in the past, the leader of R. That might not stick here, though it might. Either way, she's definitely an imperfect and arguably narcissistic parent who tends to favor Gail, but she also treats Jacob far better than Luca. When the twins were born, she had to send away one of them for reasons that are still undefined, and I think she intended to send Luca away but accidentally sent Gail instead - and never forgave Luca for that in her own heart.

I have a thought, that just occurred to me right now, and it's totally inspired from "Holes." To those of you who know that book. (I also heard there was a movie but I never saw it.) Luca's family is cursed because their ancestor, a fowler, killed a prized swan that "belonged" to the highborn ruler of that area. A lord, a king, whatever. They were both muggles, but the highborn man had a wizard in his employ force the fowler to eat black rose petals, which did not kill him, but cursed his bloodline. What if...what if Merula is descended from the lord/king? What if the only way to banish the Curse forever is to bring her a swan? Or something to that effect. Because I do want this generation of Fawley kids to break the curse, one way or another. I only say this idea because the HPHM story seems hell bent on uniting MC and Merula, they seemed to be joined by the threads of destiny.

Man, I really need to get my facts straight in order to get full posts together about Luca and their siblings....

#Hogwarts Mystery OC #Luca Fawley #HPHM Jacob's Sibling #HPHM Headcanons #Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery #My anons are the best

[touhou-music]

02. KARMANATIONS (03:52)

Artist: 暁Records

Arrangement: Stack

Lyrics: Stack

Vocals: Stack

Album: BloodDark/KARMANATIONS

Original: Reincarnation (Track 10)

Source: 蓬莱人形 ~ Dolls in Pseudo Paradise

Genre: Pop

#(i wanted to post this when i posted blooddark but the album download only gave me certain songs?? so) #(spotify instead :) #anyway god i love reincarnation and complete darkness #karmanations #akatsuki records #stack #blooddark/karmanations #reincarnation #mima (touhou) #touhou mima #touhou dipp #dolls in pseudo paradise #pop #touhou #touhou project #touhou doujin music #doujin music #audio #spotify

[dark-noctis]

Favorite tropes/AUs list to inspire writers

I personally find these posts very helpful when I'm experiencing writer's block, which I currently am, so I thought why not do something like this in the hopes of getting inspired myself along the way. If your writing has any of these tropes, tag me. I want to see them so badly

Romance:

- Angry love confession but make it a bit more angsty: Character X risks their life to save character Y and they barely make it out alive. Cut to X waking up only to be greeted with an absolutely furious Y. They ask something in the context of why are you so mad at me, dumbfounded, but Y just yells because I love you

- Hurt/comfort is top notch for friends to lovers slow burn, to be honest. BUT it's before the relationship is established, and they're touching each other way too much, the line between friendship and something more intimate utterly blurred. The hug extends longer than it should, the one who's comforting the other strokes the other's hair in a way that can't be platonic, that type of shit. The pining and inner panic. Bonus if it's queer.

- Rivals/enemies to lovers and forced proximity. Either they're united under the same goal, locked away, or any other plot device you use to improve this. The slow burn and banter this trope serves is probably unmatched.

-Character X is bilingual. Before a particularly dangerous mission or the aftermath of a catastrophic event, Character X calls Character Y a word of endearment in their native tongue (could be love, darling or anything you wish really) and Y only understands what the word meant when they hear it with context days/weeks later. (Preferably enemies to lovers again)

- Okay this one is a personal favorite. Character X confesses their feelings for Character Y, truly believing that their love is unrequited. The dialogue goes something like Say that again / Don't mock me, please / You misunderstand. I am not mocking you, [name], I am asking the person I love to tell me they love me again.

- Characters X and Y had a really bad fight that ended in X saying they never want to see Y again. A few weeks/months/years later, Y goes to X, about to die, says that they wanted to see X one more time before dying then loses consciousness. Ultimately up to you if they die or not, but I love the angst either way.

-One MC being completely oblivious to the other one's jealousy. So fun to both write and read.

Character arcs & plot:

- Fantasy/sci-fi MC going BAMF. I don't care if there's romance for this or not, I just love it. Sheer show of power. Awestruck enemies. Aftermath that leaves the MC questioning their morality. God-tier.

- Already low-key morally grey protagonist slowly turning evil. Bonus points if it's in fantasy and their actions are grander than they could ever be in contemporary. Because let's face it, the sunshine friend becoming a cheater doesn't really do much, but a hero turning against the people who they would have sacrificed everything for mere months ago? Phenomenal.

- One MC being extremely hurt, bloody and bruised, knocking on the other MC's door, saying I didn't know where else to go and collapsing before the MC can even make sense of what's happening. Except that they're the most unlikely person —either a protagonist/antagonist, hero/villain or similar dynamic— they would ever go to, but MC has no other choice but to help. Not necessarily romantic, but that also works just as well. (Again, probably works best in fantasy. Apologies to my contemporary writers, I swear I'll do you good.)

- Usually emotionally distant character being really honest and vulnerable and loving when drunk. This isn't necessarily meant for romance, it can be a friendship, mentor/mentee bond, found family, or QPR. Anyway, the MC is vulnerable for the first time in front of the other(s) and they find it endearing, their bond naturally strengthening after whatever progresses.

- The private school friend group trope will never get old for me. Especially if they're overtly pretentious and elitist, and the whole book is just a mockery of that whilst still developing the plot & character arcs efficiently.

Some other things I love:

- Literary references. This usually appears in works with Dark Academia themes like The Secret History, but your work desn't necessarily have to be like that. Quotes in other languages, references to classics, quoting poetry.

- Mythology retellings. Bonus if it's something other than the Trojan War, there are rather a lot of books on it. (And I eat it up every time, what about it?) Doesn't have to be Greek Mythology, I love seeing more unique ones, especially Egyptian and Norse.

-Poetic language. This is more about the writer's style and the scene being written, but I love flowery language at times if it flows well and doesn't outshine the plot & characters.

AUs:

(This part is for my fanfiction writers. I adore you all. Anyway, getting to the point.)

- Modern Royalty AUs for historical dramas or period pieces. When I tell you that this AU is so good if you want to write forbidden romance and angst I mean it.

- It may be the biggest cliche ever, but I'm weak for coffee shop AUs. Sue me, but they're comforting. Amazing opportunity to write fluff, if you will.

-Can't go wrong with the aftermath of torture + hurt/comfort combination.

-Reincarnation AUs. Pretty self explanatory, I think. Bonus points if it's matched with a soulmate AU if you're writing romance and they fall in love in each life time.

#writing prompts #my writing #writing prompt #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writing #tropes #dialogue ideas #ship dynamics #enemies to lovers #fantasy #villain x hero #hero x villain

[aziraphales-library]

Hello, I’m looking for a really good reincarnation fic I can’t find.

The premise is that instead of having their set corporations, Aziraphale and Crowley just get reincarnated over and over again in human bodies. But they don’t have their memories since they are born, they gain them back later in life. And for some reason they keep reincarnating near each other and their human versions keep falling in love with each other and getting romantically involved before they get their memories back, so sometimes they get their memories back and the two of them are already married with children while still being mortal enemies.

I would also like recommendations for other good reincarnation fics. Thanks

Hi. Not sure on your specific lost fic, but here are some possibilities and a bunch of great reincarnation fics for you!...

You're Human (Re)incarnate by Cryptand_Bismol (M-E) (Series)

Reincarnation series, where Aziraphale and Crowley have been cursed to live and die as humans. Unbeknown to Heaven and Hell, the curse only partially works, causing the pair to be reincarnated over and over. Their memories may start wiped with each iteration, but they always remember each other, and their past, eventually.

Good Omens Soulmates AU by SlyKing (NR, G) (Series)

In this Alternative Universe, Aziraphale and Crowley are soulmates; they reincarnate at different times and always find each other.

From the Top (Say Your Lines Once More) by CoffeeStars (T)

Crowley lives and dies and wakes up to repeat the cycle. And every single time Aziraphale is there, a different face and new memories.

Doubt Thou The Stars Are Fire by Princip1914 (E)

“Oh God,” Aziraphale said to the empty bookshop, pouring himself another drink, “Oh, Lord, tell me, if we had been humans together, with short lifespans and squishy bits and all that.” Aziraphale interrupted himself by hiccupping. “Would we have fallen in love? Are you listening lord? If you hear me, give me a sign, please, I beg you.”

Unfortunately, or fortunately--one can never really say in such ineffable circumstances--the almighty was, indeed, listening.

Single-Use Lives by hanap (E)

Things go horribly wrong when it turns out Agnes Nutter's prophecy isn't what Crowley and Aziraphale thought it would be. They were expecting to be destroyed. Instead, Heaven and Hell strip them of their immortality and their memories of each other - but Heaven and Hell don't know that they've switched bodies.

Now human, Crowley and Aziraphale run into each other on Earth for the first time - again - and again - and again. It doesn't take them long to figure out that there is something very strange going on.

over and over and over again by NaroMoreau (T)

Crowley finds his soulmate and he should have been ecstatic. Except the mark is on the picture of a noble dead at least two hundred years ago.

The Book of Prometheus by lyricwritesprose (T)

As far as Ezra Fell knows, he's an ordinary bookseller who has no reason to be so strongly attracted to the strange man in dark glasses who comes in looking for an old book. And he certainly has no reason to pursue that connection after the man goes away. He's doing it anyway.

As far as Crowley is concerned, Aziraphale was completely destroyed in 1656. But then he came back again. And again . . .

They meet in late 2007. They don't know how close they are to running out of time. They're about to find out.

Pray For Us, Icarus by Atalan (G-T) (Series)

For three centuries, Crowley has been reincarnated over and over as a human with no memory of his past. Aziraphale has tried to find a way to restore him to his true self, but all he seems to do is hurt them both. This time, he only means to steal a brief moment when he walks into Crowley's flower shop. But Crowley can't let it go...

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #ineffable partners #reincarnation #memory loss #human au #mod d

[dangermousie]

Hello !

I was wondering whether you could rate and tell us of your top 5 favourite webnovels/cnovels of all time ?! (Sorry if this has already been answered lol😅)

Thank you, stay safe and have a nice day🖤

Awww, thank you and that is such a lovely ask!!!

From n1 to n5, here they are (they happen to be all danmei.)

1. The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha) - my n1 forever and ever.

Taxian Jun, the horrific cultivation emperor of the world who razed cities and destroyed sects, is surrounded on his mountain. The righteous sects are terrified to confront him but tired of living, Taxian Jun consumes poison and dies by suicide at the age of 32. And opens his eyes as 16 year old Mo Ran, Mo Ran long before he became Taxian Jun, Mo Ran who is excited at a chance to save the one person he loved and lost. Oh, and to deal with his loathed shizun, the unapproachable and strict Chu Wanning, his past life’s biggest enemy.

I have no idea if it’s objectively the best on this list but it hits every trope I love, its bleak worldview (the world will change only incrementally but that’s enough, average person will not appreciate the sacrifice but it’s still worthwhile, and love is worth everything) mirrors mine, and the sheer complexity of the plot and cascade of plot twists each of which is insane and yet completely logical, is amazing (this is a rare novel where it’s even more fun to reread than read for the first time because you keep seeing all the hints and trail crumbs laid out that you did not see the first time.)

And the characters!!! I mean, this novel has multiple universes/timelines, a side trip to the Underworld AND the demon realm, a plot more twisted than a store’s worth of pretzels and yet the thing that hits me the most are the characters. Mo Ran is my favorite web novel character of all time and I love Chu Wanning so. All the secondary characters are wonderfully written (and some of them made me bawl) and they are all complex. My opinion of all of them changed many times over; the novel doesn’t make it easy to love some of them but then you do and it’s so worthwhile! That slow change is one of the delights of the novel - I started out disliking the unpleasant, superior Chu Wanning and cruel, callow Mo Ran and then I loved them so so hard and cried for them so so hard and was in awe of their heroism and sacrifice and selflessness and capacity to love.

Oh, and the fact that this novel does something almost impossible - it has its protagonist start out as so clearly irredeemable and then slowly and painfully and thoroughly redeems him (without ever letting the reader forget what it is he needs redemption for.)

Also, for a novel that made me cry so hard I felt ill, this book is just so damn funny with the most sarcastic sense of humor imaginable (the serious angst doesn’t even kick in until 90+ chapters!)

Anyway I should stop or I will write a dissertation. But this is the one web novel that I would put in my top 5 not just web novels but any novels in any shape or form. The plentiful trigger warnings are there for a reason so stay away if they are an issue, but if not, if anyone hasn’t read it yet, what are you doing with your life?!

2. Stains of Filth (Yuwu) - another novel by the author of 2ha. Clearly she just pushes all my buttons every time. This one is much shorter and has a plot that is twisty but less twisty than 2ha. Still, all that means is that intensity and the pain are more concentrated.

Aristocratic Mo Xi and former slave Gu Mang were both legendary generals of the empire and lovers. But Gu Mang betrayed the country and switched to the enemy. Now he is back as a peace offering by that country and Mo Xi has to deal with the fact that his feelings are as strong as ever.

This novel!!! So much pain and intensity!!! So many amazing plot twists and supporting characters. The same bleak world view, the same unjust society, the same protagonists doing right things despite the cost. Mo Xi’s intensity and inability to let go (he’s imprinted on Gu Mang and that’s it) is romantic, bone-shakingly intense, and tragic all at once. And oh Gu Mang! So many times I just wanted to reach into the book physically to protect him. The novel deals with unjust societies, memory versus personality, what it’s like to be good in a bad universe etc. And it both made me sob and giggle, repeatedly, and sold me on literally death-defying (but not honor-defying!) love.

Oh, and special shout out to the fact that like 2ha, you may start out hating some characters and end up a rabid fangirl (cough Murong Lian!)

3. Qiang Jin Jiu - a dense political tome that takes a while to get going but then it’s a runaway train.

In a fictional dynasty, Shen Zechuan, the only remaining son of a disgraced aristocratic family and Xiao Chiye, the younger son of a family of generals guarding the border join forces (and then something else) to get power and pull down the dysfunctional system.

This is so elegant and smart (a rare web novel I’d recommend to anyone who just loves solid period fiction) and you probably need a notebook to keep track of the politics and military strategy. These characters are very very smart not just because the author says so.

As to the characters, there is a large cast and I love many of them, but for me the novel is made by Shen Zechuan and Xiao Chiye. SZC is gorgeous and delicate and icy and can kill you before you have time to blink. Saddled with the sins of the family he had no pleasant interaction with, he claws his way out of hell (seeing the sinkhole he was trapped in, literally as well) to take down those who wronged him but also to amass power so all the tragedy and corruption won’t happen again and the whole rotten system comes crashing down. XCY is a military genius who is trapped as a hostage in the capital because the court doesn’t trust his family. He longs to return to the plains of home and to take his rightful place. The two men start out as bitter enemies, then reluctant and sniping allies, then as friends and eventually as one of the most gorgeous, tender, swoony OTPs.

Anyway this is one is a bona fide masterpiece, equal parts smart and emotionally intense.

4. Wu Chang Jie - are you an emotional vampire? I am and this novel is a banquet.

In a highly fantastical setting, we meet our protagonists - the sunny Xie Bian and the intense and surly Fan Wushe. Xie Bian is a human who assists his master in conveying souls to the underworld and making sure no mishaps happen. Bian is concentrated sunshine in human form and to meet him is to love him. When the novel opens, his drunk master brings back another human to be his shidi and assist with duties - said human is uncommunicative, intense and surly Wushe. Bian is excited to have a shidi but little does he know that a story dealing with the horrors of past lifetime is about to start.

Anyway, why WCJ? So many reasons. It has such a dark bleak worldview - this world is a horrifying system where powerful cannibalize each other’s cores for an impossible chance to ascend, where gods have sealed off their realm and all that’s left is neverending human misery and hell (the only way you’d see a deity is if they’d been sent down to suffer over and over and over), where even reincarnation doesn’t fix things and bad acts are often unpunished. And the novel then asks - is it worth being a good person in such a world? More, is it worth being a good person in such a world when nothing good has ever happened to you and you have been repeatedly betrayed due to your goodness? And the answer, on Bian’s part, is an uncompromising yes.

Ah yes, the other reason to love this novel - the protagonists and their fucked up fucked up relationship. Bian (who was Prince Ziheng in the past life) is so genuinely good. But he is that rare thing - good but not saintly, noble but not cloying. So much of the novel is his getting taken apart over and over and barely able to put himself back together every time but his soul is still as amazing as ever.

And then there is Wushe (who was Prince Zixiao in past life, Ziheng’s not-bio-related brother.) Wushe is not a good person. He is a monster. And he loves Bian/Ziheng more than his life and his soul and the entire world but he’s also the one who hurt him more than anyone else ever could and did it over and over. His love survived a literal century of torture in the worst kind of hell and refused the usual memory loss of new life. But it also humiliated and broke Ziheng down to his constituent parts.

One of the things that is so fascinating to me about this novel is the question of what can be forgiven/what should be forgiven/what kind of expiation is enough/can you ever love someone who you loved so much and then he hurt you so badly and is now repentant? And it never sweeps trauma under the rug or hand waves it away but deals with it head on.

If you want healthy relationships, you should stay far away from this novel but if intense insane ones with a feral barely human one capable of destroying the world leashed by love and guilt to the sane deeply good one is your bag, come right in.

There is also the world building and the fact that yes, the big fall out between Ziheng x Zixiao is based on not knowing all the facts but it’s not “why can’t you talk?! This is dumb!” But is totally in keeping with both events and their characters. It’s reasonable for Ziheng to do what he does and for Zixiao to misunderstand and decide Ziheng is now his biggest enemy (but still one he’s fixated on) and for Ziheng to never be able to clarify.

Anyway, once again this is trigger warning central so please heed those, but if they are no issue, this one is wonderful.

5. OK, this is hard and switches between Sha Po Lang, Heaven Official’s Blessing and The Golden Stage depending on my mood. So what the hell, I am gonna write about all of them.

Sha Po Lang - so smart and so much clever world building. There is enough politicking to satisfy a Qiang Jin Jiu fan, it’s steampunk, and our two protagonists - Gu Yun, the empire’s most powerful general, who’s loyal to the empire despite being badly wronged by it, and Chang Geng, a cursed prince with barbarian blood and horrifying childhood - are wonderful separately and together. This is a huge slow burn but it’s totally worth it! They fall in love with each other’s hearts and brains and ability as much as anything. (Yes, this is the one with the yifu thing. Gu Yun is made Chang Geng’s foster father when he rescues him and brings him back to the capital as a way to keep CG safe in imperial strife. They are 12 and 19 at the time so clearly it’s never a parental relationship.)

Heaven Official’s Blessing (TCGF) - I love it’s sprawling narrative and cast, I love its inventive setting and picaresque story. It’s hilarious and can make me cry. But the novel’s place on this list is due to Xie Lian who is part Kenshin part drama WWX part pure goodness wrapped in heartbreak and trauma wrapped in sunshine.

The Golden Stage - two smart and principled (yes, they both have principles different though they may be) men navigate their arranged marriage, their past friendship and their past break up, become a super couple (one of the healthiest danmei couples I’ve ever read and proves healthy doesn’t have to be boring), save the country and bring down the emperor or two and just generally this is my rainy day book.

I guess I didn’t write as much for the three n5 candidates as I did for 1-4 but my brain is beginning to curdle so...

#cnovel #heaven official's blessing #2ha #yuwu #sha po lang #qiang jin jiu #wu chang jie #the golden stage #tcgf #asks