#anyway kinda a part two to yesterday’s post (as in: I made sure they were both ready at the same time so i could queue them together lol) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lightupmyass · 2 months

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The Reaper and The Angel

Pairing: Shuji Hanma x Tetta Kisaki's older sister (Unmei or reader)

Warnings: slightly dark themes (ie. light stalking), possession, first time, mentions of death, size kink, praise, multiple rounds, unprotected sex

Summary: Since he was a teen, Shuji Hanma had been down bad for his friend's big sister. But, after years apart, would he finally be able to make her his after so much had changed?

A/N: Hello everybody! I wanted to post this yesterday but I was at work all day so I didn't finish it, but it's finally done! This has a bit more story than my last two, it's definitely a bit longer, but I like it a lot and I hope you do too. I'm trying to post at least once a week, mainly on Wednesday nights, but with two jobs it kinda makes things a little difficult. Anyways, here you go! Enjoy! 💜

Shuji Hanma never thought he’d be the kind of guy that could be tied down. He never thought he’d be the kind of man to love so hard it hurt. Love wasn’t something he thought he was capable of. That is, until the first time he went over to the Kisaki household.

Sixteen years old, full of rage and hormones, he felt like he was on top of the world, that he and Tetta would rule all of Japan together, maybe even the world, without anything standing in their way. “Just sit wherever you want, but if you break anything, I’ll kill you.” Tetta warned, shedding his jacket off and organizing a bit. Shuji had made himself comfortable on the bed, acting as if it were his own and lounging against the pillow. It was super neat and organized in there, but he’d expect nothing less from his friend. The dull, seemingly ordinary teen had filled his life with color, brighter than any circus. He thought life couldn’t get better than this, more exciting, so imagine his surprise when the door opened and he was blinded by the sun.

“Tetta! Mom said it’s your turn to do the dishes, you were supposed to do them right after school. I’m not gonna get bitched at because you didn’t do your part. Go get them done.” Hanma’s smile faded as he sat up, staring at the beauty in the doorway. She was short, jet black hair with blue underneath, busty chest that spilled out of the little black tank top and showed off a tattoo of flowers above her heart and shorts so short Hanma was sure if she turned around he’d see part of her ass. Fuck, was he in love?

Tetta groaned loudly, slamming his fist on the desk. “Dammit, Mei, I just got home! And I have a friend over! I’ll do it later, just get out!” He shouted. The intruder sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes, popping her hip out. “Little shit. Does it look like I fucking care? Get your shit done before mom gets home or I’m kicking your ass.” She huffed before slamming the door closed, Tetta growing in frustration. “Fucking hell, can’t she get off my back for a single fucking second? Dumb ass bitch.” He grumbled, organizing things aggressively now. “Who is that?” Shuji whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed excitedly now. “My bitch ass sister, Unmei. Be happy you’re an only child. Can’t stand her.” Tetta explained. “Hey, why don’t y-hey, where the hell are you going?” He asked, turning around to find Hanma already heading out the door.

His feet were carrying him before he could think, searching all around for her. Hanma’ caught a glimpse of the long hair turning the corner, the tall teen jogging after his new obsession. He followed her all the way to a bedroom, staying at the door while she slipped out onto the patio. Shuji watched as she sat on a chair and lit up a cigarette, feeling his knees get weak. Did he just meet his dream woman? “What the hell are you doing?” Tetta came up behind him, grabbing his shoulder. The smaller teen peaked out from behind his friend, seeing what had him in a trance and scoffing. “What is your problem? Why are you staring at her like that?” He snapped. Hanma’ sighed dreamily, smiling like a fool and resting his head against the door frame. “Kisaki, I don’t know how to tell you this but…I’m gonna fuck your sister.” Hanma clapped, Tetta not even having time to respond or stop him before Shuji was out the patio door.

Unmei looked up at him annoyed, but Shuji had a big stupid smile on his face, crossing his arms and leaning against the door to stop Tetta from sliding it open. “Can I fucking help you?” She asked, the sassy tone giving him butterflies. “Ah, you looked a little lonely out here. Thought I might come out and give you some company, beautiful.” He tried to play it cool as Tetta banged on the door. Unmei grimaced as she looked him up and down, scoffing as she took another drag of her cigarette. “I don’t need any company, shitbag. Go bother someone else.” She told him, looking at the parking lot. Hanma laughed, not one to give up as he turned to look at Tetta, giving him the finger and walking backwards to lean against the railing. “Aw, c’mon, you ain’t gotta be like that. Just tryna strike up a friendly conversation. I’ll even smoke with ya.” He insisted, Tetta crossing his arms and tilting his head to watch what unfolded patiently. Hanma lit his own cigarette, Unmei watching him blow the smoke into the air as he draped his arms over the railing. “I didn’t know Tetta had a sister. Gotta say, you definitely got the looks in the family. Why don’t you and I ditch ‘im and go for a ride? Could show ya some real nice spots.” He wiggled his eyebrows and licked his lips.

The way she looked up at him with a cocky little smirk tugging at her pretty plump lips had him thinking he had it in the bag. When she curled a finger to beckon him closer he moved instantly, leaning down in front of her and blatantly staring at her chest. Her pretty manicured fingers grabbed the collar of his shirt, tugging him down so they were face to face, Shuji feeling her breath on his lips and feeling himself tremble. Her smile faded, her pretty hazel eyes staring right into her soul as she grit her teeth. “Get. The fuck. Out of my room.” Unmei grumbled, breaking his heart as she let go of him. While he was still bent over in front of her she took another drag, blowing the smoke in his face. Before he processed it all a car door slammed from the parking lot below, Unmei looking around him and huffing out a sigh. “Unmei Kisaki, what have I told you about bringing those dangerous hoodlum boys around my house? And are you really smoking right now?” A shrill voice screeched, Hanma standing up to see a woman stomping towards the building. “I didn’t bring him, mom! It’s Tetta’s friend! They’re out here bothering me!” Unmei shouted back, getting up and pushing him back with a hand on his chest. “You liar! You! Get out of my house this instant and leave my no good daughter alone! I swear, you are a disgrace, Unmei!” Their mother started ranting as Hanma opened the door, letting Tetta hear everything. The younger muttered under his breath and stepped out, waving to the woman. “She’s right, mom! This is my friend, he’s just over so I can tutor him!” Tetta lied, their mother instantly relaxing. “Oh, alright, sweetie. Sorry about that, love! But, you should stay away from Unmei, she’s a bad influence. And put that damn cigarette out, young lady!” She called out, Unmei rolling her eyes and puffing at it again.

After that day, Hanma found every excuse he could to come over. But, it was easy to realize who was the favorite child. Tetta constantly complained about how over bearing his parents were, always encouraging him to get the best grades and always do school work. Unmei, on the other hand, was the problem child. Not that she really did anything bad, she just didn’t get good grades and hung out with some shady people sometimes. Shuji noticed she was forgetful, and she had the mouth of a sailor, but every time he was around her he fell more and more in love with her.

Their relationship never improved, he was always her little brother’s annoying friend, but he was sure he’d change that eventually. That is, until the Tenjiku and Toman fight happened. After Tetta died, he felt a hole in his heart. His life lost the color, becoming dull and boring once again. Of course, he was also a fugitive, so he couldn’t exactly make an appearance at the funeral. He did show up, though, dressed in a black hoodie and staying towards the back to avoid being seen. Of course, his eyes were on Unmei most of the time. Her long hair was pulled up out of her face, a nice blazer and skirt on as she sat behind her parents, who were sobbing. Her face was neutral, though, not a tear in her eyes as she started at the ground with a frown.

After the ceremony he’d followed her outside, seeing her sitting by herself on a bench with a cigarette. He wanted to go up to her, to say something, apologize for the part he played in the tragedy, say anything. But, he stayed back as her mother came stomping out, standing right in front of her with her hands on her hips. “Are you serious right now? Are you really smoking at your own brother’s funeral? How could you be so inconsiderate?” She yelled, slapping the stick out of Unmei’s hands. The young woman stared at the ground, face never changing. “I cannot believe I was cursed with such an ungrateful, belligerent, disappointing daughter! Y’know, maybe if you were a better influence on Tetta, none of this would have happened! I swear, you are the worst, Unmei!” Her mother cried out, turning on her heels and balling her fists at her sides. “He had so much potential. He was such a good, smart, respectful kid. It should have been you.” With those last words, she walked away, leaving Unmei to sit there in silence, remaining the same as sadness filled her eyes.

Unmei knew it was true. Of course, as much as she bickered with her brother, she loved him, and she wished she was a better influence on him. Maybe if she had done better, was closer to him, none of this would have happened. It should have been her. She’d been repeating that since it happened. But, she felt so empty, she couldn’t even react. So, she lit another cigarette and walked out, heading home to pack her bags and leave home.

Even years later, nothing had changed. She still felt nothing. She’d made ends meet at a dead end job, enough money to get her own place and buy basic things, like some food and plenty of alcohol. Day in and day out she woke up hung over, went to work, came home and ate a light meal, and drank herself to sleep. She had no friends, no aspirations, just loving day to day like a zombie, doing the bare minimum to keep herself alive even though she wanted nothing more than to die.

Shuji saw all of it. He couldn’t stop himself. The first time he visited Tetta’s grave after the incident, he promised that he’d make sure Unmei stayed safe. After that night…

“God, I hate you!” Tetta shouted as he slammed his door shut, huffing in frustration as Hanma laughed. “Mei Mei troubles again?” Tetta rolled his eyes at the little nickname he’d given his sister, plopping down onto his desk chair and tossing the bag of chips at him. “She’s so frustrating. Mom’s pissed because she doesn’t want to go to college, because she doesn’t think she’s smart enough, but I keep on telling her if she’d just apply herself and put in even the smallest effort that she could go far in life. She’s not stupid, she’s damn smart, she’s just so lazy and doesn’t believe in herself at all.” Tetta complained. “Weeeeell do you think maybe that’s because your mom always calls her a dumb piece of shit? Could be a possibility.” Hanma pointed out. “Mom only says that because she’s lazy and doesn’t want to do anything. Maybe if she acted as smart as she is, there wouldn’t be a problem. I just wish she’d start believing in herself a little. I’m worried she’s gonna end up on the street or in some shitty relationship relying on a man because she doesn’t think she can do anything on her own.” Tetta sighed. Hanma grinned wickedly, rocking side to side and laughing. “Aaawww, you wuv your big sister, don’t you?” He teased, Tetta’s face flushing red as he got embarrassed. “Shut the hell up! I’m tried of your dumb ass.” He huffed as he threw a half empty water bottle at his friend.

Shuji knew how much Tetta actually cared about his sister, so his first visit to his grave he promised to keep an eye on her. And he did, a close eye on her, even if she didn’t know. He made sure she got home safe every night, kept guys away from her, even got her the job she had after “convincing” the owner. She never had any boyfriends, he made sure of that. None of the guys he saw her talking to looked good enough for her, so he made sure they didn’t think they had a chance. Did he think he was good enough? Absolutely not. But, he’d be damned if she was going to end up with someone that didn’t meet the standards her brother had for her.

“God dammit.” Unmei groaned loudly as she poured the last of her whiskey into the can of Pepsi. She didn’t realize she was almost out, which meant if she wanted to get wasted tonight she’d have to go out and get more. Reluctantly, she shrugged on a jacket and slipped her shoes on, grabbing her keys and heading out the door. It was a simple walk, not too far away and one she did often. The liquor store was only 3 blocks away, but of course she kept her knife in her bra, always keeping it on her just in case. Unmei was always paranoid, always thinking someone was watching her. Whenever she was out, whenever she went home, at work, even at home, it felt like the eyes of the world were fixed on her, watching her every move.

She paid the man at the counter, bottle in a paper bag in her hand as she stepped outside, looking everywhere to check her surroundings. The night air slipped it’s way down her jacket, giving her a shiver as she bundled up with her free hand in her pocket. It wasn’t that far of a walk, she could be safe at home in about 10 minutes if she walked fast enough. Behind her, she jumped as she heard the sound of men laughing and giggling like school girls, Unmei looking over her shoulder to see the group. It was about 5 of them, maybe just out of high school. One of them was looking right at her, nudging his friend in the gut to get his attention and whispering to him, bringing all of their attention to her. Her body ran cold as her chest tightened, her feet moving faster as she tried to rush home.

Footsteps behind her got louder and faster, Unmei panting as she began to sprint down the street, hearing the laughing and calling out to her, telling her to stop and slow down. She was terrified, her heart racing as she ran. There was no telling what could happen if they caught up, she was incredibly outnumbered and outmatched. Tears spring into her eyes as she prayed she’d make it home okay.

The loud engine from a motorcycle came roaring down the street, Unmei watching the headlight get closer and closer as she hoped whoever was driving would notice. The bike came to a screeching halt right in front of her, Unmei stopping in her tracks as the tall figure dressed in all black revved the engine. “Unmei! Get on!” The deep voice called out to her, the footsteps behind still approaching. She didn’t have time to think, the man getting off and helping her sit down before he turned to the group, who had now come to a stop and began chattering amongst themselves. Unmei frowned as her savior let his hood fall down, the long black hair confusing her as he cracked his knuckles. Did she know that voice? And this bike, hadn’t she seen it before? Where did she know it from?

Hanma chuckled as he stepped closer to the group, the one in the middle stepping forward. “Look man, he ain’t mean no trouble. Just wanted to talk to the girl.” The young man insisted, putting his hands up in defense. Unmei watched as the bike owner swung without a second thought, knocking her pursuer out in one hit. The next few minutes were a blur, Hanma moving fast and quickly taking them all out while laughing, having more fun than he had in years. His light was back in his life, the long and dark night had ended the moment she looked at him, his sun rising above the horizon once more. As soon as they were all laid out on the ground he rushed back to his bike, getting on behind her and feeling how small she was against his body. “Grab the handlebars and hold tight.” He told her, Unmei tucking her bottle between her legs and doing as he said. His large hands engulfed hers, Unmei’s eyes going wide when she saw the tattoos, her heart skipping when she realized who it was while he revved the engine. “Shuji?” She whimpered quietly as he sped away.

He brought her back to her place without even asking, Unmei getting a sinking feeling in her gut when he parked. “You alright? They didn’t touch you, right?” He asked as he turned off the bike, helping her off carefully. Unmei was panting still, looking up at him and having the tilt her head all the way back. The golden eyes she knew so well looked down at her, long blond bangs framing his thin face as he tucked his hands into his jacket pockets, keeping her between him and his bike. “Shuji? Hanma? Is that really you? I-Its been so long, I-I don’t…” She whispered, shaking her head as she tried to process his presence. Hanma laughed, the sound giving her tingles all over. What was that feeling in her chest? “Its me, Mei Mei. It’s been a while, I know. You’re not hurt, right? Did they say anything to you?” He asked, pinching her chin to examine her face and make sure there weren’t any marks. “N-No, but…where the hell did you come from? How did you…how did you bring me home?” She asked, looking around her parking lot. “Your home? You live here too? I gotta friend that stays on the fourth floor, I was just driving by and saw you getting chased so I figured I’d help out and bring you back to a safe place. That’s all.” He lied. He lied through his teeth, so quick he even surprised himself. There was no way he could tell her he was watching her, that he knew how to get to her house from anywhere in the city. And of course she would believe it, because what other explanation would there be? “Oh, really? Wow, what a coincidence. I live on the third. I was just going to pick something up from the store, but when I left these guys started chasing me, and I was so scared. I’m glad you showed up, Shuji.” Unmei smiled at him, her first genuine smile in years. It blinded him, his heart melting as he smiled back. “Me too. I’m glad you’re okay, Mei Mei. Well, I should probably get back upstairs, my friend is waiting for me. See you around, yeah?” Shuji knew what he was doing. He was acting cool, nonchalant, knowing exactly how she would react.

As he turned on his heel, Unmei felt her heart drop, her breath hitching as she reached out for him. “W-Wait!” She gasped, grabbing him by the back of the jacket and keeping him there. “Hey, um, do you…maybe…wanna come over for a bit? It’s been so long, there’s so much to catch up on. Besides, I just got a new bottle. Have a few drinks with me?” She asked, her voice sweet as honey as he slowly turned around. Hanma looked her up and down, admiring her up close for the first time in years. She’d let her natural hair grow out and cut off all the dye, the dirty blonde hair falling in waves just barely pushing past her shoulders. The golden frames of her round glasses sat on the bridge of her nose so elegantly, she was looking more and more like her brother every day.

Hanma let out an exaggerated sigh, looking behind him at a random door. “I dunno, my friend’s been waiting for me for a while. Probably wondering where I am.” He frowned, looking back down at her and seeing the absolute disappointment on her face. How cute. “B-But…it’s been so long since I’ve seen you…and there’s so much to catch up on. Ever since we found out what happened and that you left I’ve been so worried about you, I didn’t know if you were alive or not, it scared me. I’ve missed you, Shu.” Unmei whispered. Hanma felt like he was on cloud nine as she looked up at him with those pretty doe eyes, knowing he was still wrapped around her finger. “I don’t have any friends, never had a boyfriend, my parents haven’t talked to me since the funeral, I’m so alone.” Her body began to shake, the weight of it all taking over her as her eyes filled with tears. She was alone, she had no one. But now, there was someone she wanted around right in front of her, and he wanted to leave too? It was too much for her to handle, just the thought of not being wanted by him anymore sending her into a downward spiral. She always knew that he had the biggest crush on her. At first it was annoying, but then it turned kind of sweet. Then, everything happened and he disappeared, so by the time she was willing to come to terms with the fact that she had feelings for him, he was gone, supposedly forever. But now he was here again, and she had to beg for him to stay, she couldn’t let him leave.

Shuji smiled, stepping closer to her and gently placing a finger under her chin, tilting her head back to look at him properly as he towered over her. “Well, looks like you could use some company, beautiful.” He whispered, Unmei feeling her knees get weak as she smiled and giggled, remembering when they first met.

She led him up to her apartment, her stomach swarming with butterflies this whole time. It’d be a lie to say he didn’t get hotter. When he was young, the stupid up-do of his annoyed her sometimes, but the first time she saw him with his hair down after he’d taken a shower at their place, she realized maybe he wasn’t so ugly after all. But now, he was so much older, and the shoulder length hair was definitely working for him. Of course, the bags under his eyes an obvious sign he wasn’t sleeping well and making him look years older. Where was he even staying? Did he work? She had so many questions, but she couldn’t find the words as she kicked her shoes off. “Sorry, it’s not much. You can make yourself comfortable though.” She told him, setting the bottle on the counter and grabbing some glasses. Hanma looked around, interested to finally see the inside of her place. It really wasn’t much, just a kitchen that lead to the bedroom/living area, and a door he assumed lead to the bathroom, but it was cozy. It smelled nice as well, and it was pretty clean.

Unmei felt him move behind her, his hand resting on her hip as he pushed past her, making her toes curl as her body heated up from just having him so close. He heard her breath hitch, smiling to himself as he let his hand drag across her back before he made his way into the other room. It was decorated to the bare minimum, just a small dead plant in the window and a few manga on the shelf next to the TV. Very basic, but still cozy. He made himself comfortable on the floor, leaning against the bed and waiting for her to come in with two glasses and the bottle she just bought in here hand. “I hope you like whiskey, it’s the only thing I really drink.” She laughed nervously, setting it all down on the kotatsu and sitting down. Hanma laughed, smiling at her to relax her. “Whiskey is my favorite.” He told her, grabbing the glass she set in front of him and holding it up so she could pour into it.

It was silent for a bit, an awkward tension filling the air as Unmei looked around anxiously, unsure of what to say. One drink in silence turned into two, then by the third Hanma finally spoke up, tilting his head and smirking as he looked at her. “You bring me up here just to drink or did you wanna talk about something?” He asked, Unmei sitting up straight with wide eyes and gulping. She did wanna talk, she really did. “Sorry. I just…I don’t know what to say. Still kind of in shock you’re actually here. How…how have you been? Where have you been? What are you doing nowadays?” She asked, crossing her legs and bringing them to her chest. “Ah, this and that, been all over. Still on the run, y’know. Just keeping a low profile.” He sighed, twirling the glass and making the ice clink. “Right. I’m sure you’d probably get a lot of time for what happened. Our parents couldn’t believe Tetta played a part in what happened to that girl. Shima? Sora? I don’t remember. They dismissed it like it never happened, even when the cops insisted he did it.” Unmei said sadly, hanging her head low. “Sano. Emma Sano. And, don’t put the blame on him. Her own brother’s the one that made us do it. It wasn’t Tetta’s fault.” He lied.

The words made Unmei’s bottom lip quiver. Was that really true? Did her brother die from being someone’s puppet? “Who was it? Who made him do it?” She asked, looking back up at him as her breath shook. She saw his eyes darken as he frowned, the man letting out a deep sigh. “Izana Kurokawa. He was the leader of the group we were in. He died that day too.” He told her. Unmei could feel the world crash down around her. So, not only was her little brother used by this guy, but he was dead, so she couldn’t even get revenge? It hurt, she had no outlet for her anger. “Fucking shit. Why did he…why did it…fuck…” Unmei’s voice cracked as she felt a rush of grief for the first time in years. Every day had been dull and boring and emotionless, but now everything she’d pushed down the last few years instantly came flooding back, overwhelming her as tears spilled down her cheeks.

Hanma lunged forward, wrapping her up in his arms and gripping her hoodie as she gasped loudly, surprised by his embrace, his warmth. Was this what it really felt like to be hugged? It’d been so long, she forgot what such a touch felt like. “Its alright, beautiful. I’ve got you. You can let it out.” He cooed, Unmei whimpering as her lip quivered again. She wouldn’t have been able to hold it back even if she wanted to. Her arms wrapped around him as her face buried into his shoulder, muffled sobs and cries breaking his heart while her nails clawing at his back to keep him close made him feel other things.

“I know, baby. I know. I miss him too. But it’s not your fault, no matter what anyone says. You’re a good big sister, he loved you a lot.” Hanma whispered, hearing her wail and stroking her hair. How would that make her feel better? It just hurt more, her heart breaking into pieces. She loved her brother so much, why did he have to die so young? He had so much potential, he could’ve done amazing things, and this is what fate had in store for him? He could’ve been successful, he could’ve had a family, she could’ve been an aunt. But now all of the dreams she had for him were gone, any hope to see the boy she helped raise grow up washed away. “It should’ve been me. It should’ve been me. He was so much better than me, so much better.” She cried out, Hanma pulling back a bit to look at her properly. Her face was completely red, soaked with tears and bangs a mess from being smashed against him. “Darling, no. Can’t think like that. You shouldn’t die either. Tetta would’ve been crushed if you did. He had so many big plans for you, so many dreams. He wanted to see you grow up and be happy, get a good job and meet a nice man, have a nice family. If you died instead, he wouldn’t have be able to live with himself. He’d have been broken.” Hanma explained, cupping her cheeks and wiping her tears away. Unmei stared at him in shock, her pretty lips parted as he wiped at the corners of them. “He…had dreams…for me?” She whispered, grabbing at his jacket and balling the fabric up in her tiny fists. “Of course. He wanted you to have the world, Unmei. Told me all the time how much potential he saw in you. He knew you could do great things, he wanted to see you thrive in life.”

The words hit her so deep. All of these years she wanted the best for her little brother, he wanted the same for her, and what did she have to show for it? If he was still alive, he’d be so disappointed, she knew that. Hanma saw her about to lose it again, shushing her and grabbing her by the waist. He tugged her onto his lap, holding her tight with a hand splayed on her back and the other tangling in her hair. She was so in shock from the action she didn’t even cry, her eyes like saucers as she sat in his lap, straddling him as he held her like his life depended on it. He was so big, so warm, his embrace completely surrounding her and giving her more comfort and safety than she’d ever felt in her life. “I know. I miss him too. So damn much. Everyday I wake up and think ‘I should’ve been with him’. ‘It should’ve been me’. It’s just not fuckin’ fair.” Unmei let out a shaky breath as she felt his body tremble against hers, his deep voice cracking as he gripped her hoodie. She never even thought about it before, but Shuji was the best friend Tetta ever had, he was there when it all happened. Why did she never consider he might be hurting just as much as she was, maybe even more? She frowned as she slowly reached up, stroking his long hair as his face buried in her neck, the quick, shaky breaths that fanned over her skin making her weak. “I know. It’s okay now. You’re here now, Shuji. Don’t have to feel alone anymore.” She cooed, brushing his hair out with her fingers.

Unmei felt so small in his grasp, Hanma slightly worried if he squeezed any tighter she might break. He always dreamed of holding her like this, to be so close and feel her warmth, smell her perfume, or cologne more like. She smelled amazing, like lavender and musk, but in a way that wasn’t overwhelming, it fit her perfectly. Everything fit her perfectly. She was perfect. There was nothing he wanted more in the world that to hold her forever. Even his guilt didn’t stop his heart from pounding, the gentle thrum of her own pulse beating against his temple. He wasn’t alone. He was with her. Neither of them would ever be alone if he had a say in it.

He pulled back a bit, his face hovering next to hers as time slowed. She could feel his hot breath, the goosebumps that formed on her skin as he turned his head, nose nudging against her cheek. Unmei pulled back to look at him, her eyes scanning his face as he leaned in closer, their lips almost touching. It felt like the world stopped, all of their grief and anguish melted away as a fire burned brightly between them, tension rising. “Not alone anymore…because I’m here with you…all I’ve ever wanted…” He whispered, moving his hand from the back of her head to her jaw, cupping it gently and brushing his thumb over her cheek. Her entire being melted, unable to help the whimper that escaped as she looked into his half lidded eyes. “Shu…I…you…” She whispered. Her heart was racing, chest heaving and body aching, for his touch, for his warmth, for all of him. She’d never felt need like this before, never had the desire or passion. All he had to do was look at her and nothing else mattered, all she cared about was that he was finally there with her, and that’s all she needed.

Nothing was going to stop him now. He had her exactly where he wanted her, in his arms, under his finger tips, and he was never going to let go. The moment he leaned in, he felt his heart beating like a drumroll, years of waiting and craving all leading up to this moment. He’d never wanted anything in life as badly as he wanted her. Every morning he’d wake up wishing she was beside him, every minute that passed of the day he wanted to be by her side. Every night he dreamt of her, holding her close, touching her all over, feeling her soft skin under his calloused hands and tasting her everywhere. She’d consumed his mind without even knowing it, the thought of her being with anyone besides him eating away at him day in and day out. From day one she belonged to him, he knew it in his heart and in his soul. Unmei was his, and now the time had finally come where he would give his all to her, and take everything she had in return.

The moment their lips touched, Unmei felt the years of loneliness and suffering wash away like a waterfall pouring over her. Everything that Shuji was flowed through her as he moved his lips, Unmei becoming worried. She put a hand on his chest, pushing him back gently as he begrudgingly let their lips part. “What’s the matter, baby? Going too fast for ya?” He asked, a little out of breath. “No, no it’s good. I just…I don’t really know how to kiss. Only kissed one person before, and that was years ago. Scared I’m not gonna be good enough.” Her voice was small as she confessed, her head turning away and eyes fixed on her bed. Fuck, how did she not know what he was doing to him? Just the thought of her kissing someone else sent him over the edge, his body moving before she could react. He picked her up with ease, sitting on her bed with his back to the wall and his hand on her hips as he pushed her down onto his lap again, grip firm as she squealed. “Don’t worry, baby. I’ll take care of everything. Just do whatever feels right for you and I promise you’ll feel good. Alright?” His lips curled into a smile, her toes curling while his hand trailed up underneath her hoodie, rough fingers trailing over her back and tracing up her spine. She let out a soft sigh, her head rolling back and showing off her neck to him, Shuji just picturing how pretty it’ll look once he’s covered her perfect skin in his marks. Unmei nodded, looking back at him and cupping his cheeks while giving him a sweet smile. “If it’s you, I’ll do anything. Just wanna be with you, Shuji.” She whispered to him, her radiance blinding him.

With that, she leaned in again, initiating the kiss this time but letting him take over instantly, Hanma guiding her and easing her into it. A million thoughts ran through his head, all the ways he could take her, claim her, make sure she never thought of anyone else besides him. Maybe he was being selfish, but he honestly didn’t think he was. It’d been a long time coming, and he knew he loved her from the very start. He'd been so good the whole time, keeping his distance, making sure he didn’t make her uncomfortable, respecting boundaries. Okay, well, the last part was a lie. The boarder line stalking could be a boundary cross, but she didn’t know about it, so was it really that bad? He was only protecting her, he was doing a good thing, right? Whatever, it didn’t matter, because she was in his arms now, kissing him with so much passion and need, he could barely tell she was a beginner. She followed his lead easily, catching on quick and moving against his lips gently. His hands roamed her body, fingertips grazing all over her back and sides as she trembled, letting out a shaky breath while her hips bucked against him subconsciously.

Hanma was aching, dying to feel her more each time she grinded over the tent in his pants. She might not have even known what she was doing to him, the effect she had. The roll of her hips stuttered as she moaned softly, her toes curling and head falling back. Shuji thought the was a perfect opportunity, needing to hear more of the pretty sounds. Every night he’d dreamt of what she might sound like when he’s making her feel good, if she was a moaner or a curser or a whiner, maybe all three. The soft gasps now were good, but not good enough. The desire to hear more tipped him over the edge as he moved her to straddle his leg, pushing her down onto his thigh and rocking her against it as he licked a long stripe up her neck.

“Ny-ah! Fuck!” Unmei squeaked, gripping his shoulders as she shook on top of him. It made his brain and heart melt to hear her like this, the sound so cute to him. He tugged on her hips, pressing his thigh up into her as he moved her while licking, kissing and sucking all over her neck. It was driving her wild. Unmei didn’t know how much she’d like neck kisses, but they might become her favorite thing. Especially when the tip of his tongue flicked over a particular spot just under her jaw like a snake, her hand moving to the back of his head. “There. Right there feels real good.” She moaned, Shuji wiggling his eyebrows as he nipped and sucked at the spot. Her hips bucked sharply, his thigh pressing up into her again as pleasure surged through her Unmei moaned loudly, losing herself while grinding on him. His leg was on the skinnier side, but it was firm under her, and even through their pants it was more friction than she’d ever felt before. It made her head spin, face turning pink as she leaned back to look at him with a sultry face that was almost porn worthy.

Shuji smiled, his thumbs tracing the bottom of her bra. “Feeling good, pretty girl?” He asked, watching her hips roll. The nickname made her heart flutter, an adorable smirk forming on her pretty lips as she nodded. “Really good. Don’t wanna stop.” She admitted breathlessly. “Good. Don’t stop. Feel good, baby. Lemme see how pretty you look when you lose your fucking mind.” He encouraged, slipping her hoodie up over her head and making quick work of her bra, staring shamelessly at her chest. “Fuuuuck…god you’re so fuckin’ beautiful. Better than I dreamed of.” He whispered, almost to himself. But, Unmei stopped for a moment, staring at him with her lips parted. “Dreamed of? You dreamed of me?” She asked softly, Shuji looking up at her as he groped her breasts. “Every night, doll. Always been my dream girl. Drove me fucking crazy, would probably get embarrassed from all the things I dreamt of doing to you.” He chuckled.

Something inside of her snapped, a cord splitting apart as she whimpered, remembering all thee things she wanted him to do to her. All the nights wanting his hands on her, the fantasies of him being buried inside of her instead of the toy she had. Wondering if he was bigger, if he’d be better, if he’d be able to make her feel better than she did. Her hands moved without much thought, stripping him out of his jacket before lifting his shirt up, tossing it wherever hers ended up and running her hands over his bare chest. It was so warm, so firm under her dainty fingers, she couldn’t help but whimper as she imagined how much stronger he was, how he could probably manhandle her. Their size difference was definitely one of her favorite things about him, her mind wandering to how easily he could pick her up, pin her down, it made her hips move again just thinking about it. “Would it be bad if I said I thought stuff about you too?” She asked softly, doe eyes looking at him with such innocence he thought he’d lose his mind. “Yeah?” He hummed, putting a large hand on the small of her back to help her with her movements. “Like what?” Hanma asked, desperate to know. Unmei smiled and giggled, her hand moving to the back of his neck and twirling his hair around her finger. “Whatever you want.” She told him teasingly, watching his eyes darken as his smile faded.

Within seconds Unmei was on her back, Hanma nestled between her legs and pressing her hard into the mattress. His breathing got heavier, Unmei squirming and staring up at him with her chest heaving. “Do you want that, sweetheart? Want me to have my way with you? Gotta warn you, I’ll go easy, but it won’t be gentle. You sure you wanna try and take me on?” He asked, his tone dropping as his fingers traced up her arms, hands moving to lace with hers and pressing them into the bed. She looked so pretty under him, all of his fantasies in the palm of his hands, so close he could almost taste it. But, he wouldn’t do it unless he knew she wanted him just as bad, as long as he knew she knew she belonged to him and only him. When she nodded how knees almost gave out, the little smile making his chest tight. “Want you, Shuji. Always wanted you. Just make me yours already, I don’t care what you do. Just, please, hurry. Aching for you, almost hurts.” Her voice cracked as her legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him down to grind against her. Hanma groaned loudly, eyes screwing shut as he pressed hard into her, letting her feel all of him and dying to feel her wrapped around him. A dark smile spread across his lips, making her heart skip as he looked down at her. “Don’t worry, Unmei. I’ll give you everything you need. Gonna make you mine.” He grumbled, giving her goosebumps as his lips hovered over hers.

He kissed her again, grabbing her by the jaw and prying her mouth open to slip his tongue inside, swallowing her moan and using his other hand hiked her leg up, fingers digging into her thigh as he rocked his hips. His head was already dizzy, her soft and tiny body under him giving him such a wild sense of strength and power. He got the go ahead, he could do what he wanted, and what he really wanted right now was to see how she looked when she came, even if it was just from a little dry humping. She was almost too innocent, moaning and whimpering like crazy from the steady, firm movements. It made him wonder how loud she’d be when he filled her up, how tight she’d be when he finally slipped inside. Could she handle his rough thrusts? Would she scream his name? How many times would she have to cum before he broke her mind? He’d find out soon enough, apparently.

Unmei was already feeling the warmth bubbling in her tummy, nails scraping at his biceps as their tongues swirled together. Just the feeling of the bulge rubbing against her had her seeing stars, vivid colors splashing over the back of her eyelids as she drowned in him. She wanted to lose her mind, to only think of him, be his completely. Nothing else mattered to her. Years of loneliness, longing and worrying for him, it all washed away, only the tidal wave of pleasure consuming her as he moved faster. He bit her bottom lip as her old bed began to creak, her whole body moving from the sheer force of his grinds. “Mmnah, Mnu…ni…mnood, mm fuh…” She babbled between the heated kisses, her hips bucking up against him as her chest heaved. He could feel her shaking, toes curling against the back of his legs as his cock twitched in his pants.

He pulled back from her lips to get a good look at her face, her eyelids fluttering open as her eyes crossed slightly behind her glasses, lips hung open for bated breaths and soft whimpers to spill out. “So pretty, baby. Cum for me. It’s alright. C’n cum like this, then I can stretch you out real nice, get you ready to take my cock. Want that? Wanna feel these insida you?” He asked, holding his long fingers in front of her face. They were almost twice the size of hers, her heart and pussy fluttering at the thought as she nodded. His fingertips tapped at her bottom lip, her tongue sticking out to graciously accept his middle and ring finger into her mouth as her lips wrapped around them, sucking and swirling her tongue around them while she moaned. Hanma was afraid he’d cum just from the sight, burning it into his memory. Her innocence was slipping, being completely destroyed by him so quickly as she turned into a lewd mess, tits bouncing with each thrust of his hips.

Unmei felt the build up, the snap, her legs squeezing around him as the ecstasy flowed through her like a big wave, swallowing her and mind turning to mush as she crumbled. Her body twitched and shook as her mouth hung open, a loud moan echoing through the room while he rocked her through it, Hanma’s eyes fixed on her beautiful face. It was the best thing he’d ever seen, watching her completely lose herself almost sending him over the edge. But he couldn’t, not yet. He had to hold back, keep his own desire under control until he was inside of her, until he could fill her up so full he’d never doubt his ownership over her. Slowly he eased up, only stopping when her breaths slowed and her body relaxed, kissing her over her neck and collar bone as she came down. Unmei let out a breathy laugh, a big smile on her face as she takes her fingers through her hair. Shuji sucked at her neck, feeling her press her body against his before he pulled off with a pop. “Ready for more, baby?” He asked, stroking her cheek with his thumb. Unmei giggled and nodded, pushing his long hair behind his ear as she admired his features. He’d definitely changed since she last saw him, his baby face changing and becoming manlier, cheeks hallowed a bit more and jawline sharper. She was in love, she could already feel it. There was nothing she wanted more than all of him. “’m ready. Want more, Shu.” She agreed, making him smile.

He kissed down her body, licking and sucking and leaving marks in his wake as he grabbed the waistband of her leggings, slowly dragging them down the length of her legs. Her legs closed from embarrassment as her cheeks reddened, gulping hard as she suddenly became nervous. Sure, she wanted him, wanted to be his, but she was still self conscious. No one had ever seen this much of her before, so of course it’d make her anxious. Hanma rubbed her calf as he sat back, looking her up and down and feeling a deep, feral urge to ruin her bubbling inside of her. Like a little bunny at the mercy of a ravenous wolf, he was salivating as his hunger for her became insatiable. He chuckled darkly, moving his hands up and down her legs. “Don’t get shy now, baby girl. Want me to give you everything, lemme see all of you.” He cooed, tilting his head curiously as she turned hers to the side. Unmei took a deep breath, hiding behind her arms as she let her legs spread, too embarrassed to look him in the eyes.

Lucky for her, Shuji wasn’t looking at her face. When she opened up for him his eyes were fixed on her glistening core, tongue poking out to lick his lips as he let out a shaky breath. He dropped onto the bed, face hovering over her as he put her legs over his broad shoulders, Unmei gasping when she felt his hot breath on her skin. She sat up, seeing the hungry look in his eyes and gripping the sheets. “W-What are you doing? Why are you so close? It’s embarrassing.” She whined. She earned a sharp, warning look from him, making her squirm. “Embarrassing? Baby, you’ve got the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen. Don’t be embarrassed. Can’t wait to be all the way inside of…here.” He hummed, slipping his middle finger knuckle deep into her, watching her head fall back as she moaned. It was a new and strange feeling, Hanma not waiting to begin pumping it in and out. She’d tried to finger herself, but her fingers were so small it never felt good enough. The depth he reached, the way he curled it, she was losing herself already.

Hanma stared at her hole swallowing his digit, feeling her tight walls pulse with her heartbeat as he felt all around. It was hypnotizing, addicting, his mouth salivating at her essence soaking his skin. She was a mess just from the little friction, drenched and inner thighs glistening as she clenched and twitched around him. He was so hard it hurt, so he was going to have to make quick work of this so he could finally get some release. He slipped another finger inside, curling against the perfect spot that had her back arching and thighs trembling around him. “Fuck! There, feels so good there. Fuck, don’t stop, Shuji.” She moaned so pretty, egging him on as he dipped down and flattened her tongue over her clit.

The feeling was indescribable. Every nerve in her body tingled as he swirled his tongue around her sensitive bud, her hands instantly flying to his head as her legs curled up. If she cared enough, she would be worried the neighbors could hear how loud she moaned. But, at this point, nothing else mattered except the pleasure she felt coarsing through her body. “Ah! Oh my go-ahd! Fucking shit!” Unmei squealed, pushing his head down and keeping him in place as her hips bucked. That’s exactly what he wanted, for her to give into her desires and feel good. He lapped and sucked at her clit, slipping a third finger in and stretching her out, the sloppy, messy sounds filling the room almost as much as her moans. Her body ached, chest tightening and she felt that build up again, coming faster than she expected as she felt herself teetering on the edge. He was moving fast, too quick for her to even grasp what was happening as he pulled his fingers out and wrapped his arms around her legs, holding her tight against his mouth.

She tasted better than any sweet he’d ever had, he couldn’t help but lose his composure as he ate her like a mad man, slurping up every drop she gave him and tongue fucking her fast, loving the way her legs squeezed around him and her fingers tugged at his hair. Unmei looked down to see his tatted hands wrapped around her thighs, his head shaking side to side as he looked up at her for a moment, catching her gaze and winking up at her. She whined, her heart melting as pleasure and love swept over her too fast for her, her body coming undone a second time as she shook violently. It was more intense than before as his wet muscle continued to squirm around, drawing circles into the pulsating nub. Of course, he had to spell his name on her clit as she came. Would she really be his if he didn’t? Even if she was gasping for air, even with her toes curling against his back and her voice cracking while she tried to push his head away, he took his time and traced out every letter from the H to the I. Only then was he satisfied, giving her soft kisses everywhere as he finally let her relax.

Unmei was relieved once he stopped, her hips still circling as he gently licked her clean and kissed all over her inner thighs while rubbing her legs and hips soothingly. Hanma gradually kissed his way up her body until he was hovering over her again, his lips and chin glistening with her essence. “Fuck, you taste so good, angel. Wanna spend the rest of my life buried in your legs.” He chuckled breathlessly. Unmei whimpered and rolled her body again, desperate for more while Hanma dipped down, brushing his nose against hers. “Want something else buried in ya now though, don’t ya baby? How bad do you want this?” He asked, grinding against her sensitive cunt. His jeans were rough, making her cry out from the friction as sweat began forming on her hairline. She only nodded, trying to tug him closer and nails scraping at his back as she panted. Hanma laughed tauntingly, grabbing her by the jaw and keeping her head still as her lust-blown pupils stared up at him pathetically “Don’t tell me you lost your words already, little one.” Shuji teased, pinching her cheeks together and watching the light in her eyes shift. Her body trembled as the nickname did something to her deep inside, setting a blaze in her as she completely melted under him. He saw it, he knew it, and he was going to toy with it.

“Oh? What’s that look for? Don’t tell me you like that. Got a size kink or something?” He hummed deeply, letting go of her face and dragging his large hand down her torso. Unmei bit her lips shut, turning her head to the side out of embarrassment, unable to find the words. She didn’t have to admit it, it was obvious he was right. “You do, don’t you? Dirty little girl. My teeny, tiny baby.” He whispered, leaning back down and smiling as his lips hovered above hers. He felt her shaky breaths on his skin, running his hands up and down her body as he completely engulfed her, mind wandering to how they must look from above. In his head, all he could see was him and her legs helplessly wrapped around him, the thought alone sending him into overdrive. “Don’t be embarrassed, sweetheart. I like it too. So tiny, could just pick ya up and fuck you on my cock with no effort. Honestly might not even be able to fit inside, little pussy probably can’t even handle me.” His hips grinded again, Unmei feeling the outline of him and thinking he might be right. But, she was more than willing to try. “No, wanna try. Please, Shu. Need you. Please.” She begged breathlessly, her fingers tangling in his hair as her bare chest pressed against his. The need in her voice told him it was time, neither of them could wait any longer. “Alright, alright. Gonna go slow, though. Tell me if you need me to stop.”

Hanma sat back to unzip his pants, grabbing hold of his length and groaning loudly. After all this time enjoying her, he was aching, leaking and twitching from his own touch as he throbbed. Unmei watched with her lips parted, tingles spreading through her body as she wondered how she’d ever be able to take that. He was huge, of course, long and thick, the angry red tip intimidating her. He was going to break her in half, but the thought kind of excited her. Precum coated the palm of his hand as he stroked himself, looking down at her with hungry, hooded eyes. “You ready for all of this, baby?” He smirked, Unmei’s heart skipping a beat, throat tightening as she swallowed hard. “W-Wait. You’re gonna use protection, right?” She finally found her voice, looking up at him nervously and closing her legs a bit. He was afraid this would be an issue. Welp, time to be a little toxic.

Shuji frowned, putting a hand by her head and giving her puppy dog eyes while leaning over her. “Unmei, I’ve been waiting for this for so long. Never been with anyone else before, only ever wanted you. Now that I finally have you, now that I can make you mine forever, I don’t want anything getting in the way of feeling all of you. Don’t you want that too? To be completely one and have nothing separating us? Don’t you want me?” He asked, sounding heartbroken with his voice slightly cracking. Unmei gasped, Shuji playing her heartstrings like a harp. “Of course I do. Want all of you, Shuji. But I just…what if something happens? I don’t think either of us are in a position to deal with the consequences if I got pregnant or something.” She pointed out, draping her arms around his broad shoulders. Hanma sighed, cupping her cheek and kissing her forehead. “Don’t worry, that won’t happen. I’ll pull out, I promise. Please, Unmei?” He begged. How could she say no to that face? Unmei pulled him down into a kiss, sighing sweetly into his mouth as he crumbled for her. “Okay. I’m okay with it. Just be careful, okay?” She smiled, Hanma overjoyed. He laughed and kissed her back excitedly before pulling back and looking at her with hearts in his eyes. “Don’t worry, Unmei. Gonna give you everything, make sure you feel amazing. Just take deep breaths and relax for me, yeah?”

He held himself in his hand again, looking down to watch her spreading her legs further for him and guiding himself to her entrance. His tip rubbed along her folds, the slickness making his breath hitch while Unmei squirmed. He’d never felt happier, the excitement and anticipation drumming through him as his heart beat faster and faster. Years of waiting, imagining, dreaming of this moment, and it was finally here. So much work he’d done to protect her, keep her safe and pure and his was finally paying off, but he had to make sure he didn’t let the joy get the best of him. Patience was key, and even though he wanted to pound into her more than anything, he had to get her used to him, let her stretch to take him and ease into it. The moment he popped his tip inside, he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to hold back. Unmei cried out, back arching off the bed as she grabbed the sheets, the stretch from that alone almost splitting her open. “Fuck! Breathe for me, baby. It’s alright.” Shuji groaned, grabbing her hand and intertwining their fingers as he pinned it down.

She was gasping for air, eyelids screwed shut as her head trashed side to side. “No no no no no, too big, too much, I don’t think I can do it.” She whined, tears filling her eyes from the heartbreak. After all this time, all the years of saving herself and keeping herself pure for the one she loved, it hurt to know that she wouldn’t be good enough for him, that she couldn’t even take him as he already stretched her to her limit. “Ssshhhh sh sh sh sh, relax, Unmei.” Shuji cooed, kissing her cheeks and jaw as she choked on a sob. “’m sorry, Shu. I’m so sorry. I-I don’t think I-“ “You can do it, I know you can.” He encouraged her, nudging her nose with his. “I promise, you can take it. Don’t be sorry. Just keep breathing for me. Nice and slow.” He pushed in just a little bit further, Unmei wrapping herself around him and clinging onto him for dear life while her head pushed back into the pillow. Hanma was holding back so much, he didn’t even know he was capable of being so cautious. But, in all honesty, he wouldn’t be able to push all the way in yet, even though he wanted to so bad. She was so damn tight, even though he played with her. Her walls were squeezing him like a vice grip, just barely letting him give her shallow thrusts to ease into her bit by bit.

Unmei tried to control her breathing, to slow it down and stop crying. She thought after using her toy for so long, it might’ve made it easier. But, he was way bigger than that, so her preparation had been fruitless. Nothing could’ve prepared her for this, and she was scared and excited at the same time, tears dripping down her temples. She was completely wrapped around him, legs locked on his waist and arms around his shoulders. Shuji’s face was buried in her neck as he groaned and gripped the sheets, steadily pushing in just a bit further. “Doing so good for me, gorgeous. Half way there. Takin’ it like a champ. ‘m so proud of you.” He praised, lips pressed to her skin. Unmei choked on a sob as the pain and pleasure bubbled together. It hurt, but it was such an amazing feeling as well. The heat radiating off of him, every ridge and vein on his cock rubbing through her walls with every shallow thrust, she couldn’t help but giggle, grabbing his attention. Hanma’s eyebrows furrowed as he pulled back, a confused smile on his lips as he watched her little giggle fit. “What’s got you so giggly, sweetheart?” He asked stroking her cheek with his knuckles. “’m sorry. Just really really happy.” She admitted with a small, sweet voice. Shuji’s smile faded for a moment while he stared at her face, her big beautiful eyes looking right at him with all the stars in the universe, lips curled into the biggest smile and soft cheeks rosy pink. She was everything he wanted, always and forever, he wasn’t going to let her slip through his fingers ever again.

Shuji laughed, peppering her entire face with kisses and making her giggle and squirm, her inner walls massaging him as he stayed still, enjoying the feeling. When he reached her lips it took her breath away, the giggles switching to soft moans. He pulled back and dragged his hands down her body, sitting up and smiling. “I’m happy too, Unmei. Never been happier. And look, you’re more than halfway there. See?” He pointed out, bringing her attention to where they were connected. The sight make her brain numb. His thick length nestled inside of her, his abs, hands on her thighs, it was the most lewd thing she’d ever seen. “Oh, fuck…” She whispered, licking her lips as her hips circled, unable to stop the heat pooling throughout her body. The pain had started melting away, and when he gave an experimental thrust, she knew what she wanted, she felt ready.

“Just do it, Shu. Go all the way, I can handle it.” Unmei whimpered, grabbing his wrist delicately. His eyes widened, heart skipping a beat. “You sure? Don’t wanna hurt ya, now.” Hanma cooed, rubbing circles into her hips with his thumbs. But, she was positive, she wanted it, no matter what it felt like. She wanted all of him, as fast as possible, or she was going to lose her mind. “I’m sure. Please, Shuji. Just do it. Like ripping a bandaid off.” She nodded assuredly, making him smile. “Alright. I’ve gotcha. Just hold my hands, okay?” He agreed, locking their fingers together. Unmei took a deep breath, focusing on the stretch and the pleasure of his pulsating cock, the beat matching the pounding of her heart.

Hanma could barely contain himself, eyes locked on her core as he prepared mentally. In one fell swoop he completely shoved himself inside of her, bottom out as their cries filled the room. Shuji toppled over and pinned her hands it the pillow as Unmei screamed, body convulsing as an orgasm unexpectedly washed over her. “Shit shit shit shit shit!” Shuji spewed, trying his best not to cum yet. It was so hard, her insides practically milking him as she shuddered. It was pure bliss, feeling him so deep inside, completely filling her up. It was impressive that she managed to handle it, the pleasure beyond words, incomparable to anything she’d ever felt before. Her breathy moans slowed down as her eyes glazed over, Unmei taking off her glasses and setting them on her nightstand as he stayed still. “You alright? Feel good?” He panted. She nodded and smiled, still blissed out and relaxing back into the mattress. Unmei grabbed his hand again and brought the back of it to her lips, kissing along the dark marks. “Fucking amazing. Keep going, baby. Fuck me like you mean it.” She smirked, not knowing what her words were doing to him.

It made something click in his brain, the need and desire taking over. A wicked grin spread across his thin lips, the kind that’s scare the biggest and baddest, but only excited her more. “Like I mean it, huh? Don’t get too cocky now, little one. But alright, I’ll give you what you want. Brace yourself, baby.” He chuckled, grabbing her hips tight and lifting them up.

Nothing could’ve prepared her for what he had in store. In one quick move he pulled out all the way to his tip and slammed in again, Unmei screaming loudly as her body lurched from the force. Hanma moaned, throwing his head back as he did it again and again, his tip easily hitting the deepest spots. The way she squeezed and massaged his cock was heavenly, silky walls welcoming him into a vice grip as she arched and squirmed in his grip. “Fuck! Shu! Ah, god, fuck!” She squealed, her toes curled and fingers gripping the pillow as the bed creaked violently. She could practically feel all of the thoughts in her head melt away as nothing but pure ecstasy flowed through her like a tidal wave. Each snap of his hips had her seeing stars, the sounds filling the small space downright filthy.

Shuji moaned and groaned, grunted and growled. Watching her body move was like art. Plump pink lips parted for her sultry moans to spill out, eyelids fluttering as she stared at him, tits bouncing and tight cunt coating the length of his cock in her listening slick. Nothing in the world could compare to how breathtaking she was, and his mind just kept going back to the first time he saw her, the moment he knew he was in love with her. This was everything he’d ever wanted and more. When he felt the fire burning in the pit of his stomach, he knew he couldn’t stop. He had to distract her, had to make sure she wouldn’t notice what was about to happen. Maybe if she came again too, it’d cover up his own release. So, that’s exactly what he aimed to do.

He pounded ruthlessly, grabbing the back of her legs and folded her, Unmei’s eyes going wide. She gasped when he gripped her calves tight, forced to watch his cock sink into her sensitive hole over and over again. Her head was spinning, mouth salivating as drool seeped from the corner of her lips. It felt like the whole world was spinning, her body weak to the abundant pleasure as she laid helpless beneath him. Her moans got more high pitched, mixing with the lewd squelching of her cunt. Hanma could feel himself tipping over the edge, hips beginning to lose their rhythm. “Fuck, fuck fuck fuck! Doing so fucking good for me, baby. Pussy feels like heaven. Wanted this for so fucking long. God, I fucking love you.” He moaned, letting one of her legs relax over his shoulder so he could grip the headboard.

Love?

Unmei stared up at him in shock, feeling the tears well in her eyes again. He loved her? He really loved her? She wanted to point it out so bad, but no words would form in her throat. The only sounds she was capable of were moans and whimpers. But, it was the thought alone that had her seeing stars. He loved her. Shuji Hanma told her that he loved her, to her face. It pained her that she couldn’t even say it back. The only thing she could think to do was show him. So, she grabbed his face in her small hands, pulling him down and crashing her lips onto his, surprising him as she licked into his mouth. It was deep and passionate, he could feel every hair on the back of his neck as a chill ran down his spine. That was the snap, his cock pulsating as he released without warning, letting the waves crash through him. At the same time, he felt her clamp around him, thankful his plan worked as she moaned into his mouth, her fingers gripping his hair tight and legs wrapping around him.

But, he couldn’t stop. Even if he was sensitive, even if he knew it might be too much for her, his body wouldn’t let him stop. He only pulled out long enough to flip her over onto her stomach, Unmei’s face buried in her pillow as she put her ass up in the air, having enough brain power to know what she needed to do and what was coming next. She hugged her pillow tight, swaying her hips as he liked his tip up again. It was like second nature for her, all of the videos she’d watched and things she’d read, all of the wild fantasies she’d had preparing her for this. However, Hanma was frozen for a moment, seeing the ink etched into her back. Pretty wings decorated her skin, a low groan rumbling in his throat. That wasn’t there before. “Oh fuck me…” He whispered to himself. It was too much for him to handle, and he pushed inside of her once more, pounding to his base once again and letting his brain slip away. All he could think about was how good she felt, how he was going to feel this every day for the rest of his life, and how he never wanted to stop. It was like he was 16 again, humping his pillow thinking about her, picturing this exact thing in his head, but a million times better. “Fuck, Unmei, so fucking sexy! Love watching you, so tiny and pretty and perfect. Feelin’ good, baby? Tell me you’re feeling good, fuck! Please say it, angel.” He choked, doubling over and slipping a hand underneath her, hand splayed across her chest and lifting her up a bit.

Her eyes were crossed, jaw slack as she gasped and moaned. She’d never felt anything from behind, always very basic and flat ok her back while using her toy. It was driving her wild, tears spilling down her cheeks. “Please tell me, baby. Wanna hear your voice. Need ta hear ya.” He begged, voice cracking as his strong and cool demeanor slipped. He needed to know he was doing a good job, that she was feeling as good as him, that she felt the same way. If not, everything he’d worked so hard for, waited for, would be for nothing. Eventually, Unmei started babbling, realizing she could probably spit something out. “Good! Fuck! Shu! Don’t stop! Down!” She cried out, Hanma gasping and dropping her back down onto the mattress. When she was bent over again he hit the best spot, her hips bucking up to help him hit it again. “There! Ri-ah-there!” She screamed, hugging the pillow again as she rocked back, meeting him thrust for thrust.

Shuji grabbed her hips tight again, watching, mesmerized by her fucking herself back on his cock, the bend of her spine, the intricate tattoo, the jiggle of her ass cheeks. Unmei’s brain was turning to mush, chasing the high as it bubbled up in her again. Her clit was aching, so she reached down to rub it in fast, tight circles, desperate for the little extra push. It made him smile when he felt her spasming around him, her legs shaking and moans getting louder. He picked up the pace a little more, pushing down on her back to arch it even more. “Fuck! Shuji! G’na cum! Harder!” Unmei squealed. He could do that. The snap of his hips grew harsher, going deeper as he slammed into her. His grip kept her still as he abused her cunt, sending her over the edge again. It hit her so hard her legs gave out, knees slipping out from under her as she collapsed, a convulsing and spasming mess. Hanma lowered himself on top of her, and kissed her shoulders and neck, his cock rubbing against her ass cheeks so he wouldn’t lose the pleasure built up. Her pants and moans slowed, Unmei turning around under him to smile up at him. “You good? Not too tired yet, right?” He chuckled, kissing her forehead. She shook her head, licking her lips as her chest still heaved. “One more. Please, just one more. Like this again.” She whispered, wrapping her arms and legs around him again, letting him completely mesh against her. “So I can tell you I love you to your face while you do it.”

Shock froze him, his body as still as a statue as he stared down at her. “You…you what?” He croaked, thinking he heard wrong. Unmei threw her head back as she laughed, fingers gently trailing up and down his biceps. “So you can say it to me but get surprised when I say it back? I said I love you, asshole. Do you need to clean your ears?” She teased, poking his temple.

She loved him. She loved him. She loved him. It kept playing on repeat in his head, over and over again. She said it. It was real. He wasn’t imagining it. “Say it again.” His tone dropped, Unmei getting butterflies as his stare intensified. “I love you, Shuji.” She repeated, giving him a soft smile. “Again.” The command made her quiver, spine tingling. “I lo-ah!” before she could even get the words out he pounded into her harder than ever, the movement firm and possessive as his eyes stayed fixed to her blissed out face. “Don’t stop, Unmei. Keep saying it. Wanna hear you say it.” Shuji breathed out, muscles tight as he started a heavy, deep pace.

Of course, she did as she was told, repeating the phrase as much as she could while he took her completely. Body, mind, soul, heart, it was all his, completely and utterly. “That’s it. That’s my girl. Keep it going. Love hearing you say it.” He cooed, feeling her tighten at the praise. If she kept doing that, he knew he’d cum again, needing to feel that sweet release. “My good girl. My pretty girl. My little baby.” He moaned over her chants, hearing her squeak and gasp. “Like that, dontcha? Feel you clamping around me, my pretty little girl likes praise, hm?” A smile spread on his lips when she nodded, watching her lips form into a focus pout as she closed her eyes, letting the feelings he was giving her take over. “So fuckin’ cute, baby. Don’t worry, I’ll keep tellin’ ya all the sweet things, as long as you keep taking my cock and tellin’ me ya love me. I’ll do anything for ya. You’re mine now, always gonna be mine, forever.” It was a promise he intended to keep. Now that he had her, nothing was going to tear them apart. He'd die before he sees her walk out of his life again.

Unmei started tearing up again as she crumbled around him, knowing she couldn’t take much more. Her body was weak and aching, her heart was racing, and her words were coming out slurred and jumble as her mind slipped away from her. The only thing she could think about was how much she loved him and how good it felt to have him on top of her, inside of her, claiming each and every inch of her for his. His voice, his touch, his kiss, it broke her, but she was beyond thrilled. Whatever he wanted was his, she didn’t care about anything but him. She’d never have to be lonely again, would never have to try and fail to find love, because she found it, in the man she always knew would be her one and only. The broken pieces of her life and heart were finally coming together in the best possible way, at the most unexpected time.

He felt her body behind to tremble and shake, her nails raking against his bare skin as her head thrashed from side to side. Luckily, Shuji was getting close too, wanting to fall over that edge together. “Look at me, sweetheart. Want you to look me in the eyes when you cum around me. Show me how pretty you look.” He grunted, going faster and harder. He wrapped one arm under her to hug her tight against him while the other cupped the back of her head gently. Her eyelids fluttered open as her moan softened, staring into his eyes through hooded lids as she panted. The end was approaching fast, too fast for her. A whimper erupted in her throat and a tear rolled down her temple as she clamped her legs around him, never wanting him to pull away. “Shu..I…lah…ahve…you…oh!” The words panted out before he completely let go, Unmei choking on a sob. Wave after wave coarser through her veins as she released, feeling something leaking from her hole and down onto the sheets. It wasn’t as violent as the other ones, not fireworks or explosion, but a very soft and sweet release of pleasure, drowning her as she sank into the feeling of ecstasy.

The sloppy sounds got even louder and messier as her little hole squelched around him, sucking him in and opening up further all at once, making it easier for him to pound into her until he fell into oblivion. His hips stopped as he still inside of her, head falling into the crook of her neck with a low growl. Unmei panted under him and traced small patterns into his hot skin, letting him relax and too blissed out to even realize he never pulled out once. Shuji pressed kisses to her neck and shoulder, slowly making his way up to her lips. It was slow and deep, full of passion and love, better than she’d ever thought. It was torture when he pulled away, Hanma chuckling when she whined. “Fuck, I can’t tell you how long I’ve waited for this.” He muttered, pushing her hair back and tucking the strands behind her ear. Unmei giggled and did the same for him, the long black and blond locks surprisingly soft. “Probably longer than I have, but I know what you mean. So glad you’re here with me now.” She whispered.

He pulled out and they moved around to lay together, Unmei cuddled onto his side while Shuji kicked his pants off and pulled the blankets over them. Her hand rested over his heart, desperate to feel the best of his heart and the subtle rise and fall of his chest. “So, is your friend still waiting on you? Are you gonna have to leave?” The heartbreak in her voice was evident, the reality of it all crashing over her. He did say he was staying with a friend, would he have to leave her? What was next? What was this going to lead to? They loved each other, but he was still on the run, hiding from the law. How would this work? He felt her shaky breath fan over his chest, her body trembling in his hold. “Hey hey hey, don’t do that.” He cooed, cupping her cheek and lifting her head so she could look up at him, seeing her eyes glistening with tears. “I’m not going anywhere. Fuck him. Got my baby now, not gonna leave when you’re right here.” He assured her, wrapping both arms around her and pulling her on top of him. Unmei sniffled and laughed, leaning down to kiss him over and over again. “Good. Don’t want you going anywhere. Can even stay here, if you want. I know its not much, but if you want to…” She trailed of, a blush creeping over her cheeks as she looked to the side. Hanma smiled, playing with her hair as she looked back at him. “Only if you don’t mind. Its not easy harboring a fugitive. Hope you know what you’re getting into.” He teased. “Baby, if you keep dicking me down like that, I’ll hide you from the cops forever. I’ll be your ride or die, just keeping lovin’ me and I’ll do anything for you.” She replied.

Of course he was going to keep doing that. He’d do anything for her, and if that’s all she asked of him, he’d go above and beyond. There wouldn’t be a day in her life she wouldn’t cum on his cock and fall asleep in his arms ever again. This was a promise he made to himself and her. No more beating people into giving her things, no more keeping guys away from her, she belonged to him, now and forever, and he’d be damned if he ever let her forget it for a second. “You got it, angel. ‘m yours forever.” He cooed, letting her fall into his side again and relaxing into her embrace.

#tr smut #smut #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers smut #lightupmyass #hanma shuji #hanma smut #shuji hanma x reader #shuji hanma #shuji hanma tr

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hiraunia · 3 months

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With the final chapter of TCWKTM by @crinklytinfoil upcoming I have decided to celebrate with more doodles. YAY!

(Did I say upcoming, I meant release. Apperently I posted this 3 minutes after the last chapter updated)

I don't know why I have decided that Shrike always wears those night vision goggles(?) now but they look cool at least(GOD I LOVE THEM).

I think I've finally gotten a hang of Dani's hairstyle for my design which is a blessing because in order from the easiest to hardest hair texture to draw is Coily>Straight>Locs>Wavy>Braids>Curly with a jump of times 4 from braids to curly(My hubris for giving Cyan short curly hair has and will continue to keep biting me in the ass).

Speaking of Cyan, I've also updated him. He always has eye bags now cause he feels tired now, more so than the start of the fic at least. Since, unless I've missed something, he's still wearing Black's suit I felt I should make it a part of his outfit. One of the issues I was having when I drew him though was that we still call him Cyan but he wasn't wearing cyan anymore which is an issue when I read the story but when I drew him it just felt odd. My solution to that hangup of mine was to keep the suit and belt black’s but give him the gloves and boots so there's at least some cyan still on him since I don't think it was ever stated that Johnny cut those off, there wouldn't be a reason to and they would fit him better than Johnny's anyways. He also isn’t wearing his backpack thing or helmet(not that I ever drew anyone with theirs anyways) since I figured they probably lost it or some shit. In this pic no one is wearing theirs but that’s just because I wanted them to look like they were chilling, Cyan straight up doesn’t have his.

Funnily enough this is the one that took the least amount of time to make, I started it yesterday and finished it like now though I do attribute that to a stroke of sudden inspiration that I was able to draw in my sketchbook so honestly most of the work was the coloring.

Drawing these guys just kinda being silly is so fun it's unfair, especially Purple. This man has done so much bullshit, I should shoot him on sight but the moment I pick up my pen he appears, the motherfucker! A pretty fun aspect of these purple are, as you can see, he's using Grey's skin. While I'm pretty sure in the story he looks the exact same I figured it would be more fun for drawing purposes to mix the two of them together to create some distinction rather than just drawing Grey with a purple suit.

My design for Grey had him as average height but more stout(at least comparatively for my artstyle) while Purple was a little more scrawny and tall which worked well for what I wanted to do. His bangs are center parted when Grey's bangs are gathered in the center. Also I drew their expressions differently, when it's Purple I draw his more bitter/sour, I decided that most of his expressions are squinty and tend to furrow the brows while Grey's are more, I'm not sure how to put it, genuine?

As you can probably tell I really enjoy trying to come up with the character's designs myself but I know when to throw in the towel and admit someone did better than me. I tried to come up with a design for Olive/Finch myself but I just could not come up with one I liked even equally let alone more than @krysmcscience 's design. They really captured their energy well so I’m just using theirs.

Ayy, I drew my take on good old Johnny boy. I think I did a pretty good job making him look older without him becoming a mass of wrinkles.

Drawing Flayer's ship was pretty fun, I've been trying to draw backgrounds and objects more so it was good practice. We obviously don't know what it actually looks like yet other than it is made of flesh and metal so I definitely had to just make shit up. For these bitches sake I hope it's bigger than what I designed because it is going to suck otherwise. Just as I'm typing this I kinda already wanna redesign it though.

I went for something more simple based of the premise that ships are complicated and difficult to make; the whole thing is kinda supposed to look like the flesh is doing a lot of the work to keep it together to compensate for a lack of technical knowledge and skill but just now I remembered that Flayer was the head of the mechanics so she almost certainly has more than enough knowledge and experience to make a good ship on her own even without the flesh. Oh well, I can redesign it when we learn more. I'm keeping its face though, the face was a completely but incredibly happy accident.

Also, I find it interesting that the Imposter’s missions are usually about them destroying biomechanical technology but one of Flayer's named imposter abilities is to use her genetic material to create machinery that fuses artificial and organic material.

Bounus Doodles!

I'm pretty sure these were all drawn sometime before the new year but they were all I had and I didn't want to post one image of doodles so enjoy them now.

While I am still proud of Brown and Devon making out I think my favorite doodle here is Cyan and his judgmental ass face. Why is he staring at Finch like, he is not in any position to but judging like that.

I also borrowed Kry's designs for Red and Umber, I couldn't help myself for Umber, it was just too perfect!

Not sure how I feel about my take on Skeld!White(Finnegan I CANT-). I'm not sure if it's just I'm so used to seeing Kry's design that anything else feels weird or just that I made him too baby faced and princessy. I tend to draw men that are very pretty and feminine so I think I went overboard when I tried my hand since he was usually described similar to how I would normally design a man.

#among us #fanart #the crewmate who knew too much #crinklytinfoil #hirart #hirantalkstoomuch #Wait why do the colors look so much better on my phone than my monitor?#My computer is so fucked up its not even funny

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cowboy-like-mee · 1 year

Text

i wish i could change

summary: depressed! reader and boyfriend! harry

warnings: depression, mentions of wanting to d word

word count: 1.1k

a/n: hello. i am ending my year and a half long hiatus. i am writing this in the midst of a depressive episode, so it is based off real life me rn! it was kinda therapeutic tbh. i feel a lot better after getting this out. i listened moon song by phoebe bridgers, my tears ricochet by taylor swift, and a different age by current joys on repeat while writing this. have fun!

p.s. i kind hate this :/ i feel like the end is rushed but whatev. i hope you enjoy. i feel like i might want to write more about this couple. i have many ideas also! if you have any requests let me know! or i can post what my ideas are and yall can tell me what you want first!

masterlist

Sitting in the filth of your room never made it any better. But you just couldn’t help it. There were empty bags of chips and dirty clothes everywhere. The floors need vacuuming. The bed hasn't been made in weeks- the fitted sheet isn't even on the bed anymore. You've just been lying on the bare mattress with a blanket covering you that doesn't even reach your feet. The smell of old food and dirty laundry stings your nose every time you breathe in a little too deeply. You needed a shower. There were clumps of your hair sitting next to a pair of scissors on your desk from where you had decided it was a good idea to chop a few inches off at 3 am yesterday.

You're pretty sure you hadn't been to a single class in at least a month. You were failing only two at the moment, luckily. Last semester it was three. Emails and text messages were piling up in your inboxes. There was no point in setting alarms anymore. You knew you weren't going to wake up anyway.

You really just missed your mom. You missed her encouraging words and her hugs. Her hugs. Any of your problems were made to be nothing with just one of her hugs. You know she would be beyond disappointed to see the state of your life right now.

Nothing even happened to make you feel this way. It's just a part of that never-ending cycle of depression that seems to hinder everything you try to do. There are no words to describe what happens in your head when you get like this. No therapist or medication could ever stop this feeling. It's like the weight of the world sits on your chest. You can't breathe. You can't think. You can't move. You can't even provide yourself with the basic necessities one needs to survive.

You try to tell yourself to get out of this funk, but nothing will help. Nothing has ever helped.

Well...maybe one thing has.

Harry.

Your boyfriend on two years. The man who has helped you out of funk numerous amounts of times throughout the last couple of years. Of course, you don't always feel like this. It comes and goes. It seems nowadays it mostly comes. It never seems to go. But when it has come, Harry has been there for you. He has fed you and showered you and loved you and kissed you and never ever judged you.

You feel like a burden.

No matter how many times he tells you he does it because he loves you. He hates seeing you like that. He wishes he could take all of your pain away. You mean everything to him. He loves you. He loves you. He loves you. He loves you.

You don't know why. What kind of man wants a girl who goes four days without showering at times. Or a girl who wakes up at 3 pm because at night her thoughts wander so far she has to hit herself in the head to stop them. A girl who can't just...be normal.

Either way, you know one thing is for certain. You love Harry. You really do. You probably wouldn't be here if it weren't for him. He has changed your life. There have been more good moments with him than bad. He kisses you just to kiss you. He watches your favorite movie with you weekly (even though you know he despises it.) He goes out to brunch with your parents because he loves talking to the people who created you. He buys you flowers every time he goes to the market just because he loves to see you smile every time he gives them to you.

He really was made for you. Nevertheless, you felt like you didn't deserve him.

You wish you could change. You wish you could change for him. You wish it was easier to be alive. You wish you didn't want to die. For him. Not for yourself. You wish you could be the perfect girlfriend. The girlfriend he deserved, not one that rots away in her room.

Harry walks in. You hear the door to your apartment creak open and gently shut. Footsteps lead into the kitchen, probably putting down the food you know he probably bought for you. You sit up and try to put on your most neutral face. You sniff your armpits and wince a little. It's only been since yesterday morning you showered, but a little deodorant wouldn't hurt. Your door opens letting in light, making your eyes squint and your hand instinctively come up to block it.

"Y/N?" Harry says. You smile for the first time since you saw him last a few days ago. "Hey, baby." He gives you the softest, pure smile you've ever seen in your whole life. He tilts his head at you with a concerned look on his face.

"Hi." You croak out, using your voice for the first time in a while. He walks up to your bed and pulls the blanket down to lie with you. You scoot over to make room for him. He climbs in and immediately wraps his hands around you. His face buries into your neck and plants soft kisses along your throat. Your hand goes into his hair and softly brushes through his soft curls.

He hums. "Mmm, I love you." He kisses you again right on your jawline. "I've missed you, baby. How has my girl been?" Your throat tightens. You're regretting not answering his texts. He's probably been worried.

You smile sadly. "I love you more, angel. I-" You pause to think of an adequate answer to your disappearance the past few days. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I haven't answered your texts. I've just been...not feeling well. I've missed you too. So much." Your eyes are welling with tears, but your room is dark so maybe he won't notice.

He pulls back a little to look at your face. His heart breaks. His girl has been feeling bad and he hasn't been here for her. "Oh, honey. It's okay. You know I just want to make sure you're okay." He kisses you sweetly. Your heart swells. He really is perfect. "I brought you dinner. I hope you haven't eaten." He smiles at you.

You laugh wetly. " Eating hasn't really been my number one priority today."

He frowns, "Y/N, you have to eat, love. It's important to take care of your body." He sits up and grabs your hand. "Come one. Let's go eat and watch Silver Linings Playbook." He pulls you up from your nest. He wraps his arms around you and engulfs you in a hug. Your head rests on his chest and you just breathe in.

You reach up and kiss him. You will never understand how this man can be so selfless. He really has changed your life. You will love him at your highs, and you will love him at your lows.

#harry styles angst #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfiction #harrystyles #Harry Styles #harry styles fanfic #boyfriend!harry

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therebelcaptainnetwork · 1 year

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Hi, I have two questions I thought y'all might be able to answer for me! First of all, how old is Cassian really? I know when Rogue One came out he was supposedly 26 but now with Andor I'm not so sure...

Second, what's the origin of the ship name Rebelcaptain? I think it's absolutely hilarious but I'd love to know from someone who was there when it was created and why! Also, I assume Rebel refers to Jyn and Captain to Cassian?

Thank you so much for taking to time to anwser my nerdy questions - it's really appreciated! And keep doing what y'all are doing - It's awesome :)

Thank you! Welcome to the fandom, and we're glad you're enjoying TRCN 🧡

Sadly, we're not able to give a definitive answer to either of these questions. The response still got very long, so the rest of it is below a cut...

1) The "RebelCaptain" ship name

The first teaser trailer for Rogue One was released in April 2016. Most fans assume that the "rebel" part came from Jyn's iconic line (which ironically didn't make it into the final cut of the movie): "This is a rebellion, isn't it? I rebel." However, Cassian isn't referred to by name or title in that trailer, so the "captain" part must have come from supplemental promotional materials.

The earliest stories tagged "rebelcaptain" on AO3 are dated June 2016, but they're orphaned, so we don't know who wrote them. (It's also possible that they were edited sometime after posting to include that tag.) Tumblr's search feature is useless for this purpose, of course, and Google Trends isn't much help either; there's no obvious peak and a few outlier searches long before Rogue One was even in production which muddy the waters. Once the film itself was released in mid-December 2016, the term seems to have taken off immediately.

So if any fan remembers exactly where/when the ship name started or can take credit for coining it, they should step up!

2) Cassian's age

Short answer: it depends which source you choose; long answer: neither age makes perfect sense, so who the hell knows.

Although no ages are given onscreen, when Rogue One was released, Cassian was stated to be 26 and Jyn 21 in official tie-in sources like the Ultimate Visual Guide. (Even at the time, plenty of fans felt that was ridiculous given the actors' ages.) Cassian was also given a few scraps of backstory (born on Fest, Separatist family, etc); if you're curious, images of the relevant pages are at the end of the post.

Then Andor Season 1 came out, and Cassian's backstory was completely altered. Now he's considerably older, likely to avoid (then) 39-year-old Diego Luna playing someone supposed to be in his early 20s. The current Wookieepedia article has a decent rundown of the cumulative evidence for his age in the film now being 33.

This was a controversial choice among longstanding fans, because it significantly delays Cassian's commitment to the Rebellion and makes his statement in Rogue One that he's "been in this fight since [he] was six" much more ambiguous.

Here are a couple of Tumblr posts with fandom reactions:

#replies #mod: incognitajones

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stevenbasic · 2 years

Text

Growing into the Job Post 263: Anderson's Warning

I haven’t…I haven’t felt like this in ages, I remember thinking, as I took the chance to reflect during a quick break in the hall between patients. For the moment I was alone, girls were all in rooms tending to business, and I was thumbing through - for maybe the twentieth time haha - the pics that Melissa had sent me from our date. That particularly racy one always made me pause - haha swipe through, brother! No 9-inch boners when you go in to see Mr. Kowalczyk!

Anyway, yeah, I felt great. Despite my health issues (I really should find someone to��y’know...check me out), despite my diminished authority here at work (I kinda sorta felt like I worked for Sheryl and Olivia now), and despite my collapsed marriage (all my fault!) I was working with an energy I hadn’t had in years. Maybe, in fact, my recent uptick in attitude was actually because of my divorce: I feel free! Or because of the change in management here: less hassle, right? Or even because of the fact that I was now a short, short man with - haha go away, buddy! - near-constant erections: remember Friday night? Standing next to her, below her? The view, the feeling I get being dwarfed by her…oh man. And my boners are like a tribute…

Check out that shot…

Melissa. This was all due to Melissa. Hired as my new, absolutely-under-qualified Office Manager just over two months ago more on account of her cup size than her resume, Melissa had gone from my secret object of fixation to…to…

Remember those kisses, just before lunch today? We’d found ourselves alone for a quick moment in the breakroom, and she’d pinned me to the soda machine with her mouth and a stream of giggles after I complimented her pink sweater. Or the way her hair found the last light of the day coming through her office windows as I sat with her yesterday? Her smile, when she brought me my warm milk this morning (laugh all you want I think it’s adorable), or when she showed me the new picture of her cat? Good god - Melissa was beautiful! And sweet! And - in her own way - funny, quirky. Despite always being the hot girl in the room she was generally humble. She didn’t talk too much about her past, her family or upbringing - in fact she always casually steered away from them in conversations - but she had some fun stories to tell, was ebullient and kind.

Wow, she’s so cute in that one…

And, for some reason, she seemed to like me! Somehow, despite all I’d mentioned - the mess of my divorce, my recent loss of authority and financial stability, and the fact that I was more than ten years older and a foot shorter than her, an absolute twerp - Melissa seemed honestly, truly excited to spend time with me, get to know me. And seeing her, talking to her here at the office - even just in quick, casual moments - had become the brightest parts of my day. The looks she gave me, the music in her laugh at my corny jokes, made me think she felt the same way. I daresay we were falling head-over-heels for each other. Yes, we’d had just one date but this had been brewing under the surface for some time, unspoken. For months I’d had the hots for her and she, apparently, for me.

Melissa was, for sure, so different from Sheryl, the woman with whom I’d had the longest, deepest relationship of my life. Sheryl had been my equal or better on so many levels intellectually. A fascinating, captivating, driven and committed person, Sheryl challenged me. Melissa, on the other hand, was softer. Not the most intelligent girl, she wasn’t book-smart, well-read, or even able to spell. She was not well-versed in history, politics, science. Basic accounting obviously flummoxed her. She didn’t hold strong opinions in the way I would normally find attractive in someone. But she had another kind of intelligence, an emotional intelligence. Well, yes…she was good with people, but it was maybe more of a sensual intelligence that shone out of her. She knew her body, her appearance, her sexuality, how to use it with others. And oh my god the sex of her! A force of nature! She was like a big bulging bag of estrogen, a walking hormone. Well, maybe not a walking hormone. More like a strutting, bouncing, jiggling, six-foot-plus tall pulsing and throbbing hormone.

Fuck me it’s like I can smell her in the air around me, I marveled to myself as I signed a prescription for Mr. Kowalczyk, I must be falling for her…

Hm. An alert, an email. That guy again.

Another one from “ANDRSN”. Well, at least from the subject line I think it’s that guy, the guy that’s been sending me these random weird links and articles. It’s from a different address every time but it’s always the same poorly grammatized, all-caps-like-he’s-always-yelling shit.

I huffed, annoyed that I’d been interrupted from my reverie by this crap. I should have just junked it, I know…who had time for this paranoid, conspiracy theory bullshit? But, something inside me, some weird little voice of caution always nagged at me to open these things, take a look. What was he saying this time?

WARNING!! FORIEGN CONSPIRETOR COMPANY MAKING PHYSICAL INROADS TO YOR PLACE OF BUSINES AS WE SPEAK!

CURENTLY BEING POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS BY YOUR OWN ENPLOYEE!!!

Okay, what? I laughed to myself. This dude Anderson (don’t know if he had a first name) was, as far as I could tell, the brother of one of the young women in the clinical trial study for Evolution Pharmaceutical’s new product. Of all the study subjects over the past week, she was one that stuck out in my mind: an overgrown, narcissistic teen with a god complex. Mary Jane, if I remember. I’d seen her last…Wednesday?…given her her sixth dose of the supplement, and her brother wasn’t too happy about it, her getting these vitamins or whatever they were. He came across as a paranoid weirdo and I didn’t have time for this especially since I should go in and see Mr… Kowalski?

His email went on, ranting about some huge overseas conglomerate with geopolitical aspirations posing as a lingerie manufacturer or something. Yikes haha right?

He then went on, I read, shaking my head, incredulous, informing me that SHE MAY BE AWARE OF MY SURVAILLANCE and that he COULDNT RISK EXPOSING THE RESITANCE and had fled his house, GONE UNDERGROUND, adding AND I SUGEST YOU DO THE SAME!!

WOOF THIS GUY WAS CRA- haha, sorry. This guy, whoever he was, was crazy. But something struck me in his message, that little nagging voice again that distracted me from starry-eyed thoughts of Melissa, when he told me to go investigate what was happening in the office: RIGHT NOW.

Haha fine, after I go in and examine Mr….how do you say his name?

==============================================

thanks to Stella5945 for the original morph in the second image

more more more at my Patreon

#growing into the job

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secretgamergirl · 5 months

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A controller with a scroll wheel, you say?

Well this is a little funny. Yesterday I posted the first part of a series of post on the fine details of how computers work, mentioning how I've been looking into this as part of a personal project I've been working on, and today I wake up to see Masahiro Sakurai posting a youtube video lamenting the lack of... this exact thing I'm working on.

Apologies for how much cat hair is in this photo, that's a bit of an occupational hazard, but this here is a photo I took back in September when most of the parts I had to order were in for the prototyping of this thing:

That's a really bad MS Paint mockup, but yeah. I'm designing my own game console, and one of the key features is a big ol' scroll wheel right in the center of the controller. Another is that I'm planning to just put all the designs of the circuit boards and 3D printer files for the casing/buttons up online for free, making it this totally open DIY thing where anyone who's a big enough nerd can just make a couple downloads, order some dirt cheap components, and build their own copy of the system (or people with better setups than me can build and sell them, whatever). So I'm not super worried about anyone stealing my ideas or whatever, but I WOULD like to establish a standard and all that, and figured it was worth noting that this is something I've been slowly working towards for like a year or two now, and didn't just get the idea from this video:

youtube

But yeah, now that the idea's out in the public consciousness, here's the plan for the controller (that I was planning to keep under my hat until I had a working prototype and some demo software sometime next year).

First off, the plan is that this is to be the standard controller for a whole console I'm also plucking away at designing, which is a bit more ambitious of a project, so I figure I might as well make it compatible with something that's already out there. So specifically, I'm designing this so that you can take one, plug it right into an SNES (or with a different connector at the end, an NES, because turns out they use the exact same input handling standard and it's just the shape of the plastic on the end that differs), and have it just work. Or mostly work anyway. I'm hoping I can process a signal out of the scroll wheel in a way that it either just needs the 3 extra bits of the input signal I don't have buttons for in my design (more on that later) or failing that, I can get it to output the same sort of signal as one wheel in the SNES mouse, which just rides along the second data line very few things use. I think that plan might break multitap compatibility and require an extra chip on the controller PCB, but it would leave this slightly more compatible with existing games on the same hardware. I might also do something weird with the button mapping to be sure NES select is on a shoulder and it works right out of the box with that whole library.

Working out exactly how to handle signals from the scroll wheel happens to be the point I'm currently stuck on by the way. I got this baggie full of rotary encoders for just a few cents which... almost fit in my first draft 3D printed wheel housing, but I have NO documentation on them, not even a part number/manufacturer besides "H-9," the pins don't fit a breadboard, and I've kinda been scrambling for rent so I can't afford a nice multimeter or oscilloscope to poke around with. Plus again I need to redesign this wheel print to even get it to spin right, and... this was a gift from a friend with a printer who is Not Local. Solvable problem, just needs more time and/or outside expertise.

But yeah, once I have those kinks worked out, it should be easy enough to get a custom board design made, replicas of end-cap of the controller cord are another problem easily solved by ordering a 1 dollar part or 3D printing something. The actual cord might be tricky since I don't know where you actually order something like that from, but it should be easy enough for anyone who doesn't mind a little assembly work to put one of these together and have it good to go for any software made with it in mind, or retrogames where you don't mind a weird button count. So... what's the pitch on this scroll wheel anyway?

Well for starters, there's the stuff Sakurai got into this morning. Any sort of RPG or text heavy game can use it to quickly scroll through menu options, or stuff in a text-heavy game. You could also pan the screen with it, something a lot of early 16-bit games assigned to the shoulder buttons or holding up and down while getting used to the new options the hardware was giving them.

Past that, you'll notice in my design it's at a 45 degree angle. I might have to tweak it a little, but my thinking is for a game that uses it heavily, one thumb or the other can slide over easily enough (I'm going for a pretty compact overall design) so we can have some games where you take your thumb off the D-pad, and have this nice analogue steering wheel. Nice for fine control in a racing game, or if you want some little radio-tuning/safe-cracking sorta deal.

Alternatively, move your right thumb over, use the D-pad to steer, shoot and dodge or whatever with shoulder buttons, and use the wheel to rotate a turret for a twin-stick sort of game maybe.

Or just use it for the sort of stuff mouse based games stick on the scrollwheel. Changing weapons, changing powerups... I'm planning to officially label the directions "hot" and "cold" to encourage weird gimmicky things like... I dunno, a platformer where you have a thermostat in your controller you can always mess with, freeze water coming out of pipes, crank up flame jets? Have a shot charging mechanic where you just really crank it to get to max strength? Weird minigame stuff. There's some fun space to explore with it.

Then we have the rest of the design here... which basically comes down to me being just plain sick of how every controller made by anyone in the past... 20 years give or take has kind of the exact same layout? 4 good face buttons, a D-pad, 4 shoulder buttons, 2 sticks, and 1-4 annoying to reach tiny awkward middle buttons, and we're just kind of overdue for a change-up?

Like first of all, hey, this is just too many buttons. There's a ton of games that really only need a D-pad, and maybe 3 buttons (attack jump pause) and the two things that aren't fully standardized is how awkwardly placed the D-pad is and how awful and awkwardly placed the pause button is. Shoulder buttons can be nice, but I've never really felt like 4 of them awkwardly crammed on the rim has been really useful or ergonomic, and that's coming from someone who's been playing a ton of FF14, which gets more use out of them than anything else I could name. And really, aside from games doing fake twin-stick stuff and using the whole grid like a second D-pad, I'm having a really hard time thinking of any game I've ever played that really makes good use of 4 good face buttons? Like people will use them if they've got'em sure, but unless you do that keyboard style thing where you lay the controller on a table and use all your fingers, you can really only comfortably hit 2 face buttons without sliding your thumb away from them, maybe comfortably make a quick pivot to a third.

Also, really, a lot of designers just sort of feel compelled to map SOMETHING to every button, even if it's clear the design didn't really need them. So basically I figure I'll try kinda just taking a "less is more" approach here. Here's the buttons that it's comfortable to rest your thumbs and fingers on, here's a dedicated pause/menu button where people often stick a kind of redundant menu button, here's my gimmicky scrollwheel. That's it, work around that.

I'm also going a little Gamecube inspired (literally using replacement membranes for one in my prototype design, even). Gonna make a great big primary button and use different shapes for the other two. Trying to label these in a less arbitrary fashion than most. If shooting a gun is a thing you do in this game, and there isn't a real good reason not to, default it to this nice right trigger you can hold down all the time. If we're advancing through menus or jumping or holding down gas in a car, here's the big GO button. Need brakes, need to break stuff with a melee attack? Go back in a menu system? There's your other face button. Have a quick dash move or a run you hold down, let's just use the other shoulder.

So yeah. That's my controller. Need to work out the kinks on the scroll wheel, source a cord, and hopefully I can slap things together and this will be something you can just order bits for piecemeal and put together for like, $5-10 after shipping? Maybe less? The parts are shockingly cheap so far.

But yeah if anyone has any insight to the scroll wheel or cord issues, let me know. Also the whole thing is presently a tad back-burnered because I am in a serious financial crisis and I don't want to have electronics spread all over my table if I have to abruptly find a new place to live if I can't scrape next month's rent together. So as usual, donations are incredibly welcome.

#hardware design #video games #diy projects #electronics #scroll wheel controller #scroll wheel #Youtube

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fluffytriceratops · 2 years

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Forever & Always.

Iris belongs to @digitl-art-monstr + Alba & Ro belong to @rheawritesforfun !

Read Iris’ parts here: Part One & Part Two.

Read Alba’s part here: Wedding Night.

Read Ro's part here: Pillow-fort Talk.

Notes: Here you are, here’s your food— I loved this little series so much I just had to write a teeny addition to it! I had the day off today so I spent the majority of the time doing chores, dancing in my kitchen, and pulling this from my ass. I can’t be bothered to edit it properly so it might be full of mistakes, but eh— just ignore em. X’D I hope you enjoy it anyway! Take care of yourselves!! HAVE THE MANY VIRTUAL HUGS!!! <333

Warnings: mature language, mild nsfw/sexual mentions,

Tags: @thelaundrybitch @turtle-babe83 @mysticboombox @leosgirl82 @drowninghell @post-apocalyptic-daydream @squirrelfurs @raphslovemuffin80 @raphielover @tmntspidergirl

(If you want to be tagged in my future TMNT related posts, feel free to let me know and I’ll happily add you!)

—

“Well, that was rather unexpected.” Kristina mumbled as Raph helped Donnie off the floor. Too drunk to even walk back to his own hotel room properly. The purple masked terrapin had just finished his little karaoke performance. It was practically radiating passion and heat. All of it directed towards the red haired kitsune.

“Tell me about it.” Ro murmured, swirling the remnants of her drink in her glass. Mikey all but glued to her hip.

Kris took a sip of her own alcoholic beverage, glancing around the room for Iris, taking quick notice that she was no where in sight. “Where is Gigi?” She asked, brow raised quizzically. She locked eyes with both Ro and Mikey, who simply shrugged their shoulders and joined her in glancing around the room. Kris let out a small hum and set her drink on the bar, waltzing away in a specific direction in hopes of finding her friend. However, she didn’t have much luck.

She was still looking when a large pair of arms wrapped around her torso. Kristina gasped in surprise as her back was pulled flush against her husbands chest. She peeked up at Raphael through her feathered lashes and chuckled in amusement as he rubbed his snout against her cheek. “You smell good—“

“Have you seen Iris?” She was on a mission to make sure her friend was okay, and no one was going to get in her way of that. Even if that special someone was her supposed soulmate.

Raph blinked at the sudden question, “I saw her run to the bathroom earlier, but— hey, where are you going?” Kris was quick to leave his warm embrace and make her way in that direction. Ignoring Raphael’s whines and complaints. Celebrating Leo and Alba’s love reminded him of the love he held for his own wife. It felt like just yesterday they were holding a similar (kinda) party for their own wedding celebration.

Unfortunately, when Kris got to the bathroom Iris was no where in sight. This made the brunette pout. She placed her hands on her hips and left the room in search of Alba, hoping that perhaps she’d have some decent answers. It didn’t take long for Kristina to find her. She and Leonardo were almost always together and he was pretty easy to spot. The long haired maiden ignored Lee’s whines and grabby hands, simply brushing him off as she talked to his wife.

“So I went to check on Iris after Raph came back from escorting Donnie, but—“ Kris briefly explained that Iris was no where in sight, and the only thing of her’s she managed to find was an intimate clothing item. She didn’t get to finish her sentence as Donnie’s echoing moan cut her off. Kristina’s face heated and she smiled at Alba rather sheepishly. Who had a tiny flush to her own cheeks at the realization. “Well.. I think I found her..” Kristina caught Leo’s smirk and huffed in amusement. She opened her mouth to say something when Raph cleared his throat from behind her, and she jumped at his sudden proximity. She still wasn’t used to his ninja skills. After all these years one would think she’d be able to see a giant mutant turtle coming her way. “I say we turn up the music—“ another moan cut him off and he winced. He gave Mikey a look and Mikey gave the DJ a signal and then everyone was partying as if they had never heard the sounds in the first place.

For the remainder of the night, Kristina tried to ignore what she had heard along with the intimate tension around Alba and Leo. More so the latter, who she noticed couldn’t keep his eyes off of his wife. He was practically salivating just at the sight of her. Kris made some sly comments about “watching out for drool” and “keeping his mouth closed so he wouldn’t catch flies”. Every time she passed him. He’d say something snarky in return, which she simply found amusing. Kris and Raph spent some time at the bar, but they made sure to drink responsibly. Opting to be the “sober” ones of the group, just so they can keep an eye on everyone. But having a drink or two wouldn’t hurt. Then Kristina did some karaoke. Was it good? Not at all! But Raphael cheered her on anyway! Exclaiming proudly to anyone who’d listen that she was his wife. They also spent a lot of time mingling and dancing. They were slow dancing together when they realized that people were starting to leave. Leo and Alba were no where in sight. And Kris couldn’t really feel her feet anymore so they decided to call it a night. They said their goodbyes and made their way to their own hotel room.

Raph offered to carry her, but Kris didn’t mind the walk. Insisting it’d be good for her. Kristina had taken her heels off and was walking barefoot down the hallway to their room. Swaying a bit in her tired and mildly tipsy state. Raph was carrying her shoes in one hand, his other was wrapped tightly around her much smaller one. When they finally got into their hotel room, Kris wobbled to their bed and flopped face first into their mattress. Letting out a muffled sigh.

Raphael snickered at the scene and locked the door behind them, placing her shoes gently on the floor. “Can you believe that Leo and Alba are married?” He asked, unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it aside.

Kris rolled on her side so she could look at him, watching him undress with a tired smirk. “I can. They’ve been together for so long, and it’s about time we’re not the only married ones.” She yawned and forced herself to get up, “Can you unzip me?”

“Guess so—“ His eyes dropped to the small of her back, which was exposed to him due to a slit/hole in her black dress. Her dress that hugged all her curves perfectly. In all the right places. Kristina unpinned her hair, allowing it to fall and cascade down her back. She drew her hair over her shoulder, exposing the zipper. He caught a lovely waft of her soft perfume. Kristina saw the far off look in his eyes from over her shoulder and she snorted, clearing her throat to catch his attention. “Earth to Raphael?”

“Huh?”

“Get a little distracted there big guy? C’mon, unzip me!”

“Oh, right!” Raphael’s big hands fumbled with the tiny zipper. Face hot with all the lewd thoughts that managed to crawl into his mind. He managed to get it undone and Kris wasted no time slipping out of it. Exposing her bare breasts and cute little pink panties. She also had a lovely bunch of fading hickeys all over from a few nights ago. Cleverly placed so no one would spot them. Raph didn’t even bother hiding his stare as she sat on the edge of the bed and brushed her hair. Kris caught his eye and snickered. “Now look who’s drooling~” She cooed, getting up and making her way to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

His hand caught her wrist and she was pulled against him. Chest pressed against his plastron. His mouth placed on top of her’s feverishly. Kris’ eyes widened but she took no hesitance in kissing him back. She giggled lightly at him and pulled away a tiny bit. “We can’t—“

Raph smirked against her lips in return, “Why not?”

“We’re supposed to be the responsible one’s, remember?” She placed a hand on his plastron and pushed him away, matching his smirk with one of her own. Raph sighed exasperatedly. “How am I supposed to be responsible when you’re teasing me like that?” He gestured to what she was wearing and Kris rolled her eyes. “I’m your wife. You can have me anytime you want me. Just not tonight.” She wagged her finger at him and grabbed an over sized shirt, pulling it over her head. “Better?”

Raph dragged his gaze up and down her and she snorted, waving him off and walking into the bathroom. “You’re hopeless.”

“Not my fault I have a sexy wife.” He sauntered after her, grabbing his own toothbrush and getting ready for bed. “Not even a little fondling? A heavy make out? Waist above stuff?”

Kristina looked at him in the mirror, her expression was answer enough. She finished brushing her teeth, ignoring her husbands grumblings and began to wash her face. “Can we cuddle at least?” She laughed at that. “Of course we can cuddle.”

“Ah good. I was beginning to think I wouldn’t be able to touch you at all.”

“Stop being a baby. It’s one night! We need to set a good example.” She left the room and once again, he followed her. Kristina began to fluff up her pillows and draw the blanket back, eagerly sliding underneath.

“We do set a good example. A healthy sex life is a good example.” He did the same, taking his mask off and setting it on the bedside table before crawling into bed. And on top of her. With his arms on either side of her head, he hovered above her. Lips inches away from her own. “From what we heard earlier, the walls are super thin here. The last thing we need is everyone knowing that besides your two younger brother’s, who are most definitely getting some, we did too. Besides… I’m tired..” Raphael laughed softly and placed a few loving kisses to her face. All which she happily accepted.

“If you were too tired, you could’ve just said so. No need to make up all this responsible bull—“

“We are the responsible ones!”

“Even still~” He brushed her hair away from her face, starring down at her with all the adoration in the world. Kristina felt like she was falling in love with him all over again. “I have work tomorrow-“

“I know.”

“And we’re still celebrating with the family later-“

“I’m aware.”

“Plus I promised a friend we’d babysit-“

“I was there.”

“I’m running on 48 hours without sleep-“

“I told you to go to bed, but you wouldn’t listen.”

“I had to study!”

Raph’s lips twitched up in a crooked smile, “I’m just teasing you, baby. We can fondle each other another time. Get your rest.” He pressed a firm kiss to her lips and she melted. “Are you sure? Because if you really want to—“

Raphael hummed, “I’m sure.” He lay on his back and Kris crawled on top of him. Nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck with a content sigh. “I love you.”

He placed a hand on her back and rubbed calm soothing circles, knowing it helped her fall asleep. “I love you too.”

Kris yawned, “Do you really?”

“Forever and always.” He whispered, churring quietly.

—

The next morning, Kristina sat next to Raphael at the breakfast table. Hair tossed up in a messy bun, bags under her eyes, but looking gorgeous nonetheless. And of course, both Donnie and Iris plus Leo and Alba were missing. Ro and Mikey sat across from them, enjoying merry conversation and delicious food. Kris cradled her coffee mug like it was the most special thing in the entire world. Raph rubbed a hand up and down her thigh softly, a joyful smile on his face as he talked to Mike about something.

And finally after what felt like forever, Leo finally joined them. Alba no where in sight. Raphael greeted his brother normally, but Kris, forever curious and suspicious rose an eyebrow at the sight of the newlywed without his wife. So of course she asked him where she was. When Leo responded with “she’s resting” Kristina immediately scoffed. A knowing look on her face as she sipped the delightful beverage in hand. Leo’s smirk only widened at her expression and Raph grew ever confused. But before he could even ask the two about it, Iris and Donnie finally showed up. The entire table practically starting giggling and whispering to one another like a couple of school girls.

“You guy’s sounded like you had fun~”

“Kristina!” Raph hissed, not wanting to replay what happened last night. Face bright from second hand embarrassment though he too couldn’t stop his grin from growing.

“What? I’m just saying, I didn’t know Donnie could make such high pitched noises—“

Poor Donnie and Iris looked like they were about to faint. Raph tried to reassure them that it wasn’t as bad as it sounded. Splinter was passing a couple bets around with the rest of the table. Ro munched on her food happily, just enjoying the general splendour. Mikey cooed and made kissing noises. Kristina ushered Leo away, saying he needed to provide good aftercare for her sister-in-law. Then she looked and Iris and said, “You’re next.” Referring to the fact that the next sister-in-law, was going to be her. Even if Kris already considered both Iris and Ro as her sisters.

Kristina winked slyly before turning her gaze onto Raphael. “Told you they’d fuck.” And his juice shot out of his nose.

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millhavenn · 11 months

Text

Reddit repost 2—Stranger Things subreddit.

There was a post about them yesterday, but it got locked because people decided to make it about a ship war rather than an appreciation of how great their friendship is.

Really looking forward to seeing them actually work together in season 5, because both should have pretty major roles hopefully. Will understands Vecna like no one else does, and I think that’s going to be key to beating him. And with both Mike’s girlfriend and best friend being important to the fight, there’s no way that Mike can’t be involved.

Hoping we can get a scene with Will being honest with Mike about how he feels, because his character deserves it. There’s a zero percent chance that Mike would be anything other than accepting of him, and Noah Schnapp would no doubt crush the scene, like he did with the van scene in season 4.

The van scene was one of my top 3 favourite scenes this season, because whilst heartbreaking, it perfectly displayed how strong their friendship is. The way Will was able to know how Mike was hurting, put his own feelings aside to recognise how important El was to Mike, and capture how important Mike was to both El and himself was beautiful. He knew how much it hurt him to see Mike in love with El, but he helped his best friend anyway. Unrequited love is hard, but Will powers through it.

Edit: Ok I didn’t plan on writing this much, it kinda just happened.

Yeah I was in that posts comment section. It is part of the reason why I made this. I wanted to see what exactly caused people to react in such a negative way.

I still don’t know what caused it. But this post is doing incredibly well, and I am glad. It is a very small step to bringing back some sort of calm to this community! Lol

I agree with everything you said. I am hoping and praying that a coming out scene is written into the script for season 5. After everything he has gone through, Will deserves the relief, comfort, and safety that comes with sharing your true identity to the people that will love you unconditionally.

A Mike + Will duo/partnership in season 5 would be AMAZING. I need to see them fucking up a bunch of demo(gorgon/bat/dog)s side-by-side. The two of them saving the world together (or helping to) would be a beautiful way to bring their storylines to a close—they both get their revenge on those that had caused them, and the people they love, pain.

It does not matter if it is platonic or romantic—the final blow should be theirs and I will die on this hill !!

I think the negative reactions come as a result of any perceived implication that their relationship is romantic; as whilst majority of fans are relatively positive towards their friendship, the common consensus around here is that it’s just that, a friendship. And whilst I personally agree with that judgement, the constant desire to turn any mention of their friendship into a ship war is tiring.

Seeing Mike get his hands dirty to defend El and Will from some monsters would be a sight to behold, and it’d be cool to see Mike confront Vecna similar to when he tried to take on Billy in the sauna in season 3.

In regards to the “final blow”, I’m about 99% sure this will still technically go to Eleven. But I don’t think it’ll be as simple as El holding out her hand and screaming whilst everyone cheers her on. There’ll be multiple layers to the fight, which is where the rest of the kids, and the adults will come into it.

That is really sad to me, but yoy are right. Hopefully that mob (sort of) mindset changes. I feel that I would be able to have many lovely discussions (such as this one) with users here if implications of romance were not taken so personal.

And the above applies to both sides.

For anybody wondering, my post is not alluding to a specific dynamic in regards to Mike and Will. Users have been lovely thus far of sharing their own interpretation of their dynamic in a mature, and quite beautiful, way. It makes me happy, and I hope it stays this way, even if for a little longer.

Is that wishful thinking?

Yes!! I say Mike Wheeler should be given a chainsaw in season 5. Nancy/Will teaching him how to shoot a gun would be great, as well. There is a lot of potential in season 5, if they choose to go the apocalyptic route, really.

Oh yeah, definitely. I am sure a bunch of powerless teenagers would not stand a chance against powerful entities, such as Vecna and the Mind Flayer, on their own.

That was a joke on my part, but it would be funny if Will just, like, walks up while Vecna is at his weakest, and hits him on the head with a random chair. Imagine going through all of that evil planning, nearly winning in your attempt to control the world, only to die by a random gay kid. I would cry

You definitely do see a similar mindset with other aspects of show. Whenever there’s a post celebrating Mike and El’s love for each other, you’ll usually find someone going out of their way to tell everyone how “fake” or “toxic” they are together. Like I get that Reddit is a platform for sharing opinions, but sometimes I wonder would it not be easier to just downvote and keep scrolling, rather than offering a factually incorrect assessment? Same thing here for when people suggest Mike has been a bad friend to Will.

Maybe just a healthy dose of optimism.

Honestly as long as we get a decent scene with Will standing up to Vecna, I’ll be happy. The poor kid has spent the past two seasons in the back seat.

TLDR: I agree with you big time, and that should be a mindset everybody has!

It most definitely would be.

I feel that there are people who do want to have proper discussions with others of differing opinions, hence why they do not downvote and move on, but it has become clear that it is not something which is possible in the subreddit. Regardless of your preference towards Mikes relationship with Eleven, or Mikes relationship with Will, you are going to receive an immature response. It is best to ignore.

There is a minority in this situation that does deserve more support than what they are currently being given, however, this does not make them innocent—I would know. I have started and partook in many arguments myself, and now that I look back on them, it was stupid of me to replicate the way I was mistreated onto other people.

Everybody in this subreddit needs to learn how to have a proper discussion before ever considering confronting another individual about their opinion. No one is ever right, and if that cannot be accepted, it takes a simple downvote and scroll to continue with the day.

Mileven, Byler, it is not as big of a deal as people here make it out to be—enjoy your ships in peace, and let others enjoy their ships in peace, too!

#byler #stranger things #anti mileven

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anticomedygarden · 1 year

Text

Keeping the Faith part 3

title from billy joel's 'keeping the faith'

also posted on ao3

Part 1 | 2 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

“Now that we’re all here, you’re probably wondering why we’ve called this meeting,” Marlene said dramatically, as if their friend group didn’t have meetings like this weekly.

Although, James reasoned, perhaps Marlene was making an announcement for the benefit of her girlfriend. This was Dorcas’ first Marauders meeting, after all. (None of the others had taken to the group name as James had, not even Pete, but he still used it whenever possible, hoping it would catch on. So far, it had not.)

Marlene and Lily were standing at the head of the dining table in 300 Fox Way, apparently about to enlighten the group on why they all had to be here at this particular moment. The girls hadn’t even given them time to rest after practice, just told them all they needed to meet at their house for ‘shocking news’, so James, Remus, and Marlene herself were all sweaty and gross, not to mention starving and exhausted.

Lily held up her pointer finger. “First, Mom made food.” She made her way to the fridge and pulled out what looked like a whole lasagna. She set it on the marble top kitchen island.

James clapped his hands and jumped up. “Yay! I was afraid you had invited us all over to starve us to death.”

“I think they’re actually trying to poison us with the smell,” Sirius said, pinching his nose. “Seriously, did any of you shower?”

“You mean after practice when these two-” Remus gestured toward Marlene and Lily “-screamed into the locker rooms that we’d better get our asses moving or they were coming in to drag us out?” He grabbed some plates out of the red cabinet over the sink and set them next to the lasagna.

Sirius blushed but grabbed a plate. “You could’ve…rinsed off at least.”

Remus turned to James, a look of disbelief on his face. James just shrugged, amused by his friends’ and slightly amazed they hadn’t realized yet that they were both deeply in love with each other.

“Where were you, by the way?” Remus asked, looking back at Sirius, then repeated the question when he saw Sirius’ back was turned with his bad ear facing Remus.

“I was in the art room working on a project,” he answered, far too quickly to be true. Remus looked at him skeptically but dropped it, and James decided not to press.

Suddenly, someone poked him in the back, and he jumped. “Move,” Dorcas said. “You’re blocking the lasagna.”

Lily snickered. “Yeah, James you’re blocking the lasagna.”

He looked at her, fully prepared to give a retort but stopped when he saw her vibrant smile. He blushed and looked away, quickly scooping some pasta and moving back to his seat. (And, no, the irony was not lost on him. He was just as bad about Lily as Sirius and Remus were about each other.)

A few minutes later when everyone had gotten food and came back to the long wood table, Marlene started again. “So, yesterday,” she said around a mouthful of pasta, “Abraxas Malfoy came in for a tarot and palm reading.” She swallowed.

It wasn’t particularly extraordinary on its own that Malfoy had come here, though it was strange that he would come for their services and not intimidation. Malfoy was either incredibly stupid or incredibly desperate. Either way, there was clearly more to the story.

Lily picked up where Marlene left off. “The tarot reading was normal. He apparently has some big decision to make, or someone close to him has to anyway, and he’s a rich asshole, but Marlene got a vision when she tried to do the palm reading.” Lily turned to Marlene who had just returned from getting seconds. “You wanna explain this?”

“Sure,” Marlene said, putting her fork down and brushing a strand of blond hair out of her face. “I touched his hand for the palm reading and immediately went into a vision. I had a really clear image of a world map with all these crisscrossing strings. I’m not sure if the map was in Malfoy’s house or if he just saw it somewhere, but he was there, kinda looking at the map, but there was another guy there that Malfoy kept calling ‘The Dark Lord’. He was old and bald, and his nose was completely gone. Actually, his skin was really gray, like he was sick or something, but he was also kinda ripped, so-”

“Marlene!” Lily stopped her, which was fine with James, and one glance at Sirius confirmed he felt the same way.

The girls didn’t know simply because they hadn’t been as close when Sirius was still living with his parents, but the man Marlene was describing just so happened to be the guy that ran the gang Sirius’ biological parents were not only a part of, but were an integral piece of the inner circle.

“Tell them the important part,” Lily urged.

Marlene glanced up, having been ripped from her detailed description of the worst person in Henrietta. “Oh, yeah!” Dorcas smiled fondly at her girlfriend. “So the map was called ‘Leylines’, and there was one running straight through Henrietta.”

Next to James, Sirius drew in a sharp breath and stood. “I-I need to leave,” he announced. He made his way shakily to the front door and wrenched it open, barely closing it on his way out.

James looked after him and stood. “I’ll go talk to him,” he said, not having to think twice about it. At this point in his life, James had pretty much accepted his role as the ‘mom friend,’ as Sirius liked to call him.

When he got outside, he quickly spotted Sirius leaning against the passenger side of the Pig, facing the street. “Hey, Pads!” he called. “Where did you think you were going?” He held up the keys and jangled them.

Slowly enough that James was afraid Sirius hadn’t heard, his brother turned his head to look at James, fear evident in his eyes. James unlocked the car and they both slid inside.

After a moment of silence, James said, “Did you actually want to go somewhere, or are we just gonna chill?”

“Just here is fine,” Sirius said, looking out the passenger window.

James nodded. They sat there for another couple minutes until Sirius finally said, “He’s the reason I left that night. The Dark Lord. His real name’s Tom Riddle, but he calls himself Voldemort, makes his followers call him the Dark Lord.” Sirius shook his head. “Anyway, my parents had decided that they would officially recruit me into the Death Eaters that night. I came home to Voldemort already at the house. I still don’t know where Regulus was. He could’ve been at a friend’s, at school, or, hell, still in his room, but I never even made it upstairs.”

James drew in a breath and rested his hands on the dark steering wheel. For how close James and Sirius were, the older Black had kept that night under lock and key, never even giving a hint as to what had happened. James had known it had been big, but he’d just assumed Walburga and Orion had found out Sirius was gay or something like that. He never would have imagined it was this big.

Sirius continued. “Before I tell you the rest of this, there’s something else you should know.” He paused, trying to figure out how exactly to say whatever it was he was about to explain. “I know all about leylines. I’ve seen the map from Marlene’s vision. It’s in 12 Grimmauld Place because that’s where Voldemort lives. I actually helped make it.” He paused again.

James decided to help him along. “How do you know all of this?”

Sirius winced, poking at the leather seat. "That's the hard part." He looked James straight in the eyes, and, to be honest, James got a little nervous. "I have powers," he said.

James stared. "Like, psychic powers?" he asked, not sure Sirius was being genuine.

Sirius scowled and fiddled with gearshift. "No, James, not psychic powers,” he said, seemingly offended. “At least, I don’t think they’re psychic. It has something to do with the leylines. If I'm on a leyline, I can sense everything happening within about a 20 mile radius, and I can control hotspots."

"What are hotspots?" James asked, carefully untangling Sirius’ fingers from the gearshift and gripping it loosely, Sirius’ pale skin standing out against James’ light brown.

"They're places where two or more leylines cross," he explained. "Here, that's Cabeswater."

James furrowed his brow. He had so many questions. "So when you say you helped make the map-"

"I mean when I was little, my parents would put me on this giant world map and have someone mark the places I went the most. As far as I can tell, it's all correct. I was always drawn back to Henrietta, though I don't know if that was because I knew it was home or because it had the strongest presence." He wrung his hands. "I still don't know how they figured out I had powers. It's not like there was a test they could run at the hospital for it. Either way, I don't think they know the full extent of what I can do, because if they did, Voldemort wouldn't have let me go so easily."

James nearly protested. Sirius' valiant escape from Number 12 Grimmauld Place could not in any context be described as 'easy'.

Either not sensing or ignoring James' disagreement, Sirius kept going. "At first, it was very casual. Introductions were made, and we had dinner. I mean, it wasn’t that casual since it was still my parents and no one has skin that gray or slits instead of a nose.”

It took a moment for that to register. “Wait, what?”

Sirius’ mouth split in a grin. “Yeah, his skin’s legit all gray, and he doesn’t really have a nose. It’s just these two red slits. He’s also completely bald: no head hair, no eyebrows or eyelashes, and no body hair. It’s freaky.”

James started. “Maybe he shaves it?”

He shook his head. “No, there’s never any stubble or anything. Reggie and I have a theory that he’s part reptile.” He gazed out the windshield. “Anyway, throughout dinner, Mother and Father did their whole Death Eater, bigotry bullshit rant, but after we were done eating, they started talking me up, which was worrying in itself. Turns out, they were building up to telling Voldemort about my powers. Apparently, he has some mission that requires the use of leylines. He decided he just had to have me. I told them I wasn’t going to whore myself out to a bastard like Riddle, and they told me if I wasn’t going to give myself to the cause, they would make me. We fought, and I ran.” Sirius cast his eyes downward and tightened his hold on James’ hand. “You know the rest.”

Indeed. James would never forget that day. April 12. A year and a half ago, James had just gotten in his car after working out when his phone started ringing with a call from Sirius, immediately sending James into panic mode as, a, the Blacks didn’t know Sirius had a phone, and, b, Sirius never called anyone. Answering had only furthered his panic as he was met with a frantic ‘help, park’ and then nothing.

Needless to say, he had raced to the local park, probably breaking several traffic laws. What he found there was forever ingrained in his memory: Sirius, passed out on a park bench, blood caked to the side of his head, phone lying on the ground surrounded by broken glass. The subsequent trip to the hospital was the fastest James had ever driven, and he hoped he never had to drive that fast again (though looking back, it had been exhilarating - in the worst way possible). A week later, Sirius was released to the Potters without hearing in his right ear but with a giant cast on his leg that had stayed on well into the summer and had taken months to fully heal, not to mention the emotional aspect.

James leaned his head against the headrest. Why did all of his friends have so much fucking trauma?

“Okay,” he breathed, still clutching Sirius’ hand. “What do you want to do about it?”

Sirius turned his face back towards James. “That’s it? You’re not gonna tell me to press charges or say you don’t believe me?”

“You got enough of that when you ran away,” James answered. “And I trust you. If you say you have magical powers, then you have magical powers.”

Sirius practically deflated, and James wondered how long he had been carrying this burden around. Probably as long as he’d known he had magic.

“Besides, I have a different question,” James said. Sirius groaned. “Is this why you won’t go for it with Remus?”

Sirius choked. “Of all the questions,” he muttered, shaking his head. He straightened. “No, this is not why. I won’t go for it with Remus because he doesn’t like me, and I don’t want to destroy our friendship.”

“Oh, come on, Sirius! You and I both know that’s bullshit,” James said. Sirius looked taken aback, but James continued. “Because it seems to me that you still feel guilty about what happened and are afraid Remus will hate you if you tell him.” Which was incredibly frustrating because James had it on good authority that Remus was involved in things that were just as shady, if not more so, and if one were to ask James, the two of them getting together would really help ease their individual guilts. But of course, no one was asking him.

Sirius gave him a grumpy look. “Fine, you’re right. But that’s not all it is. What if Voldemort suddenly decides I’m useful and comes after me? I don’t wanna put Remus in danger.”

James softened because that was actually a legitimate concern, though it could also be dismissed if Remus was willing to share just a little bit more about his life outside of the Marauders.

James tried to respond in a way that would convince Sirius to get over his fears while also not revealing anything Remus wanted to keep private. It was a tough line to walk. “Do you think,” he started gently, “that maybe you should leave it up to Remus to decide what danger he is okay with? And maybe give him the benefit of the doubt in that nothing that’s happened to you is your fault and that you are the only person who blames you?”

Sirius blinked at him as if those thoughts had never crossed his mind. “I-” he hesitated. “I see your point, and I will think about it.”

James knew better than to press. He had been trying his two best friends together for years, and it was through several deep conversations not unlike this one with each of them that he had gotten this far. “Thank you. But seriously, what do you wanna do now? I’ll sit here as long as you want, but everybody is waiting for us, and I am their ride home,” he said.

Sirius glanced at his phone. “I guess I should tell them what I know,” he said.

At that, James looked at him. “You don’t have to tell them anything, Pads,” he said harshly.

Sirius rubbed his neck. “I know, but it’s relevant, now, and they should know-”

“No, they really shouldn’t. What you want them to know is up to you, not the greedy maniac that thinks he runs this town.”

Sirius thought for a moment. “Do you think I could tell them about Voldemort without telling them about my powers or my parents?”

“I think that could work,” James answered. “But only if you want to.”

Sirius paused, and then- “I think I do.”

James unlocked the car. “Then let’s do it.”

When they returned to the house, the others were all talking about the lit presentation. Apparently, Marlene and Dorcas had chosen Hamilton as their work of fiction, and Marlene was trying to convince Remus to give another theme analysis.

“Come on, you’re so good at this stuff! You came up with the Puss in Boots one so fast,” Marlene was saying to Remus who shook his head.

“I’m not helping you cheat, Marlene,” he insisted. “Besides, I’m sure your girlfriend has some great ideas.”

They turned to Dorcas who nodded. “I have several.”

Lily spotted them first. “Hey, guys.” The others stopped talking.

Sirius must have still had a weird look on his face because Remus frowned at him, concerned, and mouthed, Everything okay?

James didn’t see Sirius' reaction, but he guessed it wasn’t acceptable because Remus continued to look worried.

By the time James sat down, Sirius had put on his ‘I am not okay, but I’m going to pretend I am’ face. “Everybody look at me, I have an announcement!” he declared, face full of false bravado. James had to give it to him; he was really selling it.

“Jesus, guys, any more shocking news, and I may faint. What’s this, three in the last two days?” Marlene observed.

“I don’t think it counts when you were the subject of two of them,” Remus said.

Marlene shrugged.

Sirius clapped his hands. “Okay, back to me!” Then, before he could be derailed again, he said, “I know who the Dark Lord is.” The others broke out in chatters, but Sirius held up a hand. “Please, hold your questions until the end. This is a long story, and I want to finish it today.”

He launched into the story he had just told James, careful to avoid any mention of his powers, brother, and parental treatment.

He finished with the part about the night he ran away, just saying a curt, “They wanted to recruit me, so I left.”

They sat in silence for a moment as everybody processed the information.

Finally, Dorcas broke the silence. “It seems to me that everything we need to know is at Grimmauld Place.”

Lily and Remus nodded. “The map, Voldemort, information on the Death Eaters…it’s all there,” Lily confirmed.

“The only problem is how do we get that information?” Remus said.

Dorcas put her hands on the table. “I could always ask Regu-”

“No,” Sirius cut in. “If Voldemort or our parents catch him, he’s dead.”

Dorcas’ eyes hardened. “That’s assuming they catch him.”

Sirius met her head on. “That’s not a risk I’m willing to take.”

“It’s not your decision,” Dorcas countered. “It’s been a year and a half, Sirius; he’s his own person with his own mind.”

Sirius fisted his hands. “This is not his problem, and I refuse to put him in danger.”

“All right,” Remus broke in before Dorcas could offer another counter point. “We don’t have to decide anything tonight.” He glanced at the oven clock. “And it’s only 6:30. How about we get started on those lit presentations?”

James sent Remus a look of gratitude, thankful someone intervened before Sirius and Dorcas could really start arguing. Then every single thought left his mind as he realized he and Lily were about to spend an indeterminate amount of time alone together.

Lily stood. “That’s a great idea, Remus! Why don’t you two take my room, Marlene and Dorcas can work in the reading room, and James and I will stay here,” she decided.

Remus cocked his head at her. “You don’t want your own room?”

Marlene snickered. “She probably doesn’t trust James in the same room as her underwear drawer.”

“But you trust Sirius?” Remus said, disbelieving.

“It’s not her that needs to be worried,” Sirius said, biting his bottom lip and winking.

James sighed internally. They’d get there somehow.

Once Sirius had closed the door to Lily’s bedroom, Remus turned to him, a strange look on his face. “I know that there’s more you’re not telling us.”

Sirius guiltily turned his face toward the floor. There was no point in trying to hide it. Remus would figure out, he always did.

“But, I don’t want you to tell me if you’re not ready,” Remus finished and held up his hands, because he was actually the best person in the world, tied with James.

Sirius took that as an invitation, crossing in front of the bed to bury his face in Remus’ chest and hug him tightly.

Remus stumbled a bit but quickly righted himself. Sirius smiled when the tawny haired boy’s arms came up around him. “Alright,” Remus muttered, resting his chin on Sirius’ head.

“You give nice hugs,” Sirius observed. It was true. Remus’ tall, muscular frame allowed for the best of bear hugs, and his sweaters were so damn soft, Sirius wanted to cry.

“Not that this isn’t nice,” Remus started, pulling back slightly, and then laughed when Sirius tightened his grip, “but is there any particular reason for it?”

Sirius hummed, then, surprising himself, said, “Regulus texted me last night.”

“What?” Remus gasped, chin slightly digging into Sirius’ head. “Thats-that’s big, Pads.”

“I know,” Sirius said casually, as if he hadn’t just dropped the biggest news of the past two days. He was totally beating Marlene.

He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t told James. He hadn’t been sure how to feel about it, and the whole thing had just seemed so personal that he wanted to keep it to himself for a little longer, but he just couldn’t anymore. It was too much.

“It was just a couple sentences, but it’s more than we’ve spoken to each other in so long, and I almost blacked out when I saw his name, Moons, I swear, it was-” His breath hitched, and he realized with a distant sense of surprise that he had tears streaming out of his eyes.

“Hey, hey, hey.” Remus pulled back until he was looking Sirius in the eyes. “This is a good thing, right?”

Sirius nodded.

“Good,” Remus said, bringing Sirius back into his arms. “Did you text him back?”

He nodded again. “I just told him that I miss him; I didn’t know what else to say.”

“That’s enough, Pads, just the fact that you answered is enough,” Remus insisted, hugging Sirius tightly.

And that - that was fine, because Sirius had only been in love with Remus for three years, three years of pining and avoiding touches, of careful flirting, and it was entirely not worth it, because Remus was so damn nice (not literally of course, his sarcasm could destroy nations), and his sweaters were soft, and he gave the best hugs, and he always went out of his way to make sure everyone else was okay, and James was right, there was no point at all in not going for it.

Fuck it. He looked up at Remus. “I love you.”

He watched Remus’ eyes widen, and suddenly he was no longer being held as Remus stumbled backward. “I-w-what? You what?” He appeared to be going through the five stages of grief.

Well, that certainly wasn’t the reaction Sirius had been hoping for. He tried again, running his fingers through his hair. “I’ve been in love with you for three years.”

Remus breathed out sharply through his nose. “You’ve got to be kidding.” He rubbed his face with his hands, and Sirius felt his brow furrow. He’d thought Remus would at least believe him.

He walked back toward Remus, just on the verge of crowding his personal space. “You know, there are a lot of people who would kill to be in your position right now,” Sirius said, voice wavering slightly yet still earnest.

Remus took his hands off his face to reveal an open mouth pulled into an amused smile. “Well,” he smirked, “too bad for them because I am also in love with you.”

Sirius blew out a relieved breath, mouth splitting into a wide smile. “Really?” He wasn’t even embarrassed when his voice came out an octave higher than normal.

The boy in front of him nodded slowly, and then Sirius' lips were suddenly, amazingly on his.

Abruptly, Remus pulled back, eyes crinkling when Sirius whined.

"Are you really sure about this?" he asked. "Because this kinda ends our casual friendship."

Sirius snorted. Sexy, he thought. "I'm pretty sure our friendship was never casual to begin with."

"That's good enough for me," Remus said, going back in for another kiss, and all thoughts of leylines, his family, Voldemort, the Death Eaters, and school left his mind, at least while Remus' lips were on his.

He wished it could last forever.

Remus had just settled into bed when his phone buzzed.

Marlene: so how far did everyone get in their presentations

Lily: we got pretty far actually

Lily: we only have a couple slides left

Marlene: over achievers 🤮

Marlene: where’s james

Sirius: he goes to bed at 9

Marlene: he does not

Remus: yep, every night

Sirius: except weekends when he gets a whole extra half hour

Marlene: oh my god

Marlene: what about game nights

Sirius: he passes out as soon as he gets home, so around 10:30

Lily: james being an old man aside, how much did you get done

Marlene: a decent amount

Sirius: so you just sat there while dorcas did everything

Marlene: no, you ass, this is our first school thing together, she can’t know i’m that kid yet

Remus: understandable

Marlene: and what did you two get done

Sirius: oh, you know, a few slides

Lily: i’m sure

A notification popped up with a private text from Sirius.

Sirius: she has no idea

Remus: :) but we really do need to start on it

Sirius: meh

Remus: oh my god i can’t believe i’m in love with you

Sirius: :))))))))))

Remus: 🙄 good night

Sirius: nighty night lover

Remus smiled, then turned over and went to sleep.

Regulus, your father and I have decided that it’s time for you to officially join the family business. You’ll take the Dark Mark next weed.

Those words had been bouncing around in Regulus’ head all night, ever since his mother had cast them at dinner that evening.

If she got what she wanted (as she usually did), Regulus would be initiated into the Death Eaters next week, starting with the gang’s gruesome snake and skull sign tattooed on his forearm, lovingly named the Dark Mark.

He hadn’t even tried to fight it. There was no use. He would never win against them.

But there was one person he knew could stop it, or at least could tell someone else who could.

But Regulus couldn’t. He had barely been able to just send him a text the night before; how could he ask this of Sirius so soon after reconnecting?

Of course, this problem was one of the exact things Sirius would want to know about, and he was one of the few people who had the power to help.

But wasn’t it Regulus’ responsibility to take care of himself? He wasn’t Sirius' problem anymore.

On the other hand, it had been a year and a half, and Regulus was no closer to his own goals now than he was then, personal or otherwise.

Finally, after four hours of fighting against his guilt and feelings of failure at needing help, he dug his phone out of his mattress, resigning himself to the help of others.

Regulus (10:17 p.m.): I need your help. I want out.

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pinkiepiebones · 2 years

Note

I will send u love, tho i cant write it in a characters voice, so ill just say im proud of u too, and u deserve that doll, do tell what one u get <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

That's okay, I appreciate you!!!

As for doll

So I was a big Monster High person back in the day- I still am, tbh. But back in the day, when you couldn't take three steps in a store without seeing something monstrous, I would constantly talk myself out of certain dolls. I guess I wanted to focus on just one or two characters; I didn't have the space for displaying e v e r y doll (I was obvs focused on Ghoulia but I also had quite a few Clawdeens. She had a lot of purple so yeah).

Anyway, years later, I'm an adult- uh, moreso than I was, I guess- and dammit I'm getting the mermaids. The three new girls in the mermaid line were WILD- one had two heads! One had four arms! One... well, I'm still not sure what is going on with her but I need the full set.

So first I got Peri and Pearl (daughters of the Hydra).

Their tail can fold to double as a stand! They have scales! They have TWO HEADS!!! I managed to find them on ebay with all their jewelry intact (earrings are usu. the first things to be lost)

Next was Kala Mer'ri, daughter of [REDACTED]

Kala's having four arms was always so cool to me... her squid tail also gives her the widest hips of all the MH characters which is a whole Mood lol. I got her off ebay too, all jewelry intact. Her tentacles act as a stand and can rotate and her fingers have suction cups and her arms are segmented alfrpndndsod so pretty purple squid girl

and then yesterday I got the final girl, Posea Reef, daughter of Poseidon*

She always seemed to me the most ""normal"" of the three, what with the one head and two arms, but she's got this kinda "I AM the coral reef" vibe what with her tail being made of seaweed and her body jewelry and the little fish and crabs tangled in her seaweed... I'm starting to digit. and her body sculpt has these intricate... bump scars? idk what to call them but it's beautiful

So yeah, by next week I'll have all the mermaids (excluding the main cast girls who got turned in to mermaids for this story line; my goal was the "real" mermaids lol)

I ALSO treated myself to Gooliope Jellington, daughter of "Unknown" (it's the Blob), the first of Monster High's 17inch tall dolls with more flexibility~

I didn't get her NIB but I'm posting the in-box image to show the care that went in to her- look at how she's posed in there! Clearly too big for the standard box! And the plastic, made to look like it's breaking, she can't be contained! She's a circus freak, wearing an old circus tent as a dress, wagon wheels for earrings, parts of an organ for a crown, SKELETAL CAROUSEL HORSES MAKE HER HEELS!!! Her hair looks like cotton candy, her eyes have a shine shaped like a radiation symbol, her pink body has the tiniest shimmer, her limbs have little drips like she is melting... she's also got more joints, including a torso joint, allowing for greater pose options. Here she is holding a regular MH doll

and here she is dunking sick baskets on the court

So yeah I'm getting the dolls I denied myself back in the day 💖💀👍

#monster high

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popsicle-parfait · 2 days

Text

Unfortunately I ended up losing interest in this draft and with the drama that keeps happening at Nijisanji I also lost the same likability in the streamers I once did. So if anyone wants to pick this up or just read it I'm going to leave it here.

It's a reader x Ike Eveland.

You have been playing video games for a couple of years now, and while you're not the best at them you do have a lot of fun while doing so. You've gone from gaming noob to posting professional tutorials for others like you on your blog. If you can't play a game you'll just watch streamers and analyze it so you can at least be aware of certain mechanics if you do end up buying said unobtainable game. The streamer you've spent the most money on was probably Ike Eveland, you weren't too interested in vtubers but something about his eloquence and how he engaged with his audience caught your eye.

You've been watching him for a few months now so you can properly say you're a part of the quildren, as the fans put it. Apparently a new game came out and it was on everybody's wish list, but luckily you pre ordered it a long time ago, all that was left to do was boot it up and start playing. It was a classic mmo game and like the person you were, you decided to pick the female avatar since they have more cosmetic choices. You were a mage class so you'd have an easier time grinding and upgrading your skills compared to other classes, plus who doesn't like to buff yourself every now and again?

You were in the middle of farming for a new armor set when someone sent you a group invite, who could this be? Their username was "TheNovelist" and they already seemed to be 5x higher than you in levels, so what could they possibly want with you? You decided to bite the bullet and clicked join, there were three people already active; one of them being the party owner in question.

You took a quick look at their character profiles and the other two party members were a gunslinger called "Lionsgate" and a healer named "PotassiumFighter12", only one of those made your sweat drop. TheNovelist looked to be a swordsman, carrying a heavy greatsword and what looks to be a really OP armor set that got released. You all typed your hellos in chat before the forsaken conversation of 'Why' began to circle.

Bellflower: Wow! You guys are stacked, are you about to do a raid?

Lionsgate: Hell yeah! We're gonna defeat the newest mini boss! ∩( ✧Д✧)∩

PotassiumFight… : Unfortunately, we don't have enough potions to cover our stats so we asked our friend here to find someone who'll help

TheNovelist: It's ok if you're not a high level, we'll share the exp anyway! (^_^♪)

Bellflower: Oh alright! If you need anything from me just yell, my attention span is kinda bad lol

Lionsgate: Don't you worry your head Milady! We'll go in guns blazing! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

TheNovelist: Starting now

Honestly you've never been carried so hard in your entire life, but you can't deny the princess treatment isn't nice every now and again. The milady comment was odd considering you were sure you placed your gender as male in your profile but you'll take what you can get. After a few waves of monsters and drops to last you a few days, you were actually really enjoying yourself. The guys were funny and they all had such different personalities from what you could tell, plus they all seemed to know each other irl since the inside jokes were a bit odd. What the heck is a Shubert anyway?

You were a bit confused but overall these guys really warmed your heart up! Afterwards you all parted ways and not even an hour later, you got a friend request from TheNovelist! The next day you decided to take a break for a bit since your hands were cramping and opened up YouTube to watch Ike's daily stream. It looks like he was playing that game you downloaded yesterday too, which you guess is pretty expected considering it was new and all.

#male reader #male reader insert #x male reader #nb reader #gender neutral reader #gn reader #non binary reader #reader insert #nijisanji #ike eveland #x reader

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a-god-in-ruins-rises · 1 year

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You mentioned yesterday that the most Hamiltonian 19th century presidents were the ones who got killed, firstly, do you think the British were behind those assassinations, or something else? And secondly, why do you think the three were Hamiltonian? Lincoln yes, but as far as I'm aware Garfield was a free trader and McKinley was opposed to a national bank, neither of which are Hamiltonian policies

yeah i was speaking pretty loosely with that post. i posted it in between a bunch of longwinded responses to other anons about other stuff. i saw that quote and just kinda screenshotted it and threw it out there with the half-baked comment in the tags and didn't think about it again until now.

so let me clarify.

do i think they were all assassinated by the british? lincoln i'm pretty confident about the british being at least indirectly responsible. as for the other two? i'm not really sure. i'm honestly not typically a very conspiracy-minded person (this is a lie: i am and i just try hard to fight it) so i tend to err on the side of the simplest explanation; garfield was just killed by a madman and mckinley was killed by a radical. so when i made that post i was half-joking but also half-musing to myself. because i had never really investigated the assassinations or the contexts of the latter two. and when i saw that passage it got me thinking. because i /do/ know that garfield was concerned about the presence of the british in the new world (i'll get to that in a minute). so remembering that and reading that passage just made some constellations connect in my mind. but again, i was half-joking and not making a serious implication.

but yeah about the hamiltonian thing. yeah i use the term "hamiltonian" pretty loosely. because it's rare to find people that /exactly/ match hamilton's vision. but i just use it to refer to people that are hamiltonian-esque. /generally/ approximating something like hamilton envisioned, even if it's not a 1:1 comparison. but i would say that lincoln, garfield, and mckinley come pretty close to this ideal. to varying degrees obviously. and just to be clear by hamiltonian i am referring to the american system/school: protectionism, nationalism, federalism (strong central government), internal improvements and subsidies, regulations, supporting scientific research and development, education, etc. things along those lines. i would even include fiat currency in that list even though hamilton didn't advocate for it. but that's part of my point. gonna be rare to find people that perfectly match my vision; not even hamilton. but some are approximately closer than others.

so garfield. yeah. i'm not sure where you're getting the idea that he was a free trader? i would have to find my notes but i have seen quotes from him being pretty clear about how he thinks tariffs are a good thing. i think you're maybe referring to him wanting to lower /some/ tariffs? specifically here in latin america. i don't think that's really contrary to hamiltonianism. hamiltonianism isn't about high tariffs in principle. it's about strategically placed tariffs. a hamiltonian can support lowering tariffs on certain goods and still be a hamiltonian. like there's no point in us placing super high tariffs on coffee beans. ain't no major coffee industry gonna pop up in america.

but going back to my earlier point about garfield. he wanted to lower tariffs with american countries to drive british trade out of the new world and replace it with american trade. this is valid i think. it's strategic. i'd have to look up what specific goods he wanted to lower tariffs for (or precisely by how much and whether they were export or import tariffs or both?) but i've not seen any info about it being anything concerning. america's tariffs at the time were generally pretty high anyway so he could probably afford to lower them a bit. and, depending, it might even be good. but yeah if the british needed a motive to kill him that could have been one. again, not saying that /seriously/. just something interesting to note.

as for mckinley, is that true? i don't think i've ever heard his opinion on banks. where can i find it? but even if it is true, like i said earlier, he may not have been perfectly hamiltonian (by my definition) but he is approximately close. enough that i would have voted for him, even if i don't agree with his /every/ policy (*cough* gold standard *cough*).

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kawamagi-crow · 1 year

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November 30th, 2022 (7:39 AM) entry 14

a lot happened yesterday!! first, i had two exams in one day (and i have another exam today TwT), I think i did well tho.

After school finished, i went to the house of one of my friends to make the group project we had for today. we baked a cake!! and made the project out of pasta americana (idk the english name), I'm gonna post the pics of the cake here later <3

Anyway. after that, we watched The hunchback of notre dame while we ate pizza >:3

it was pretty fun!! there was a moment were my friends smaller sister, turned to us and said "Look what i do to (friend's name)" and slapped him so goddamn hard (not in the face, in the belly lol) it made a loud sound. AND IT LEFT A MARK LMAO

like, you could OUTLINE her hand!! and she's a kid! like a little kid. You could see the fingers in the mark and it was super red lol. it was pretty funny tho (and he later said that she never slapped him this hard)

Also, after we got of the subway (when we were going to my friends house), A sweet woman called me over, to whisper to me "Oh your pants are dirty", bc i got my period and didn't notice because i was so distracted. I swear to God she's an angel. she made sure i knew about it without calling too much attention to it. My other two friends helped me hide it.

Funny enough, Both friends that helped are AFAB, one is a trans dude, and other is nonbinary. they INSTANTLY knew what to do once we noticed, my nb friend offered their hoodie so i could hide it (another angel lmao)

the two other friends that were with us were both dudes (AMAB) and they got so goddamn confused lmao. like they're going "wait is everything okay? whats happening?" and we all went "nothing is happening. its okay."

if there's an AFAB Bro code, its this.

(TW BELOW: DEATH,CANCER, IT GETS PRETTY SAD)

AND THERE'S MORE! when i was going back home, i was informed my parents's friend died :(. he had cancer, and his cancer was so fast in killing him, i was kinda surprised. like we knew he was dying but not THIS fast...

bc of covid, my parents weren't able to say goodbye to him (they both have covid), so this sucks extra hard for them.

for those who don't know, my dad also has cancer(on both kidneys), but we're lucky he got in a GREAT treatment program (that's still being tested, but so far his cancer is being cured!) that's covered by our insurance. My dad tried to get his friend into the program too but wasn't able to.

My dad's friend wasn't so lucky, and he went with SUS (our public health system), outside of the waiting, he did beat the cancer once but it came back a second time. Since he was already weak because of the previous treatment i guess that was worse...

Once the doctors realized there's nothing they could do, they tried so hard to get him out of the hospital (which was kinda weird, but i get it. you need to open up beds for those who CAN get treated), in the end before he died, they gave him a lot of morphin (is that the drug that sedates you?... like he wasn't feeling any pain) so he could pass on without any pain.

I'm more sad for my parents, who lost a friend they made in college (back when they were around 20-25, and they're 57 and 60 now), and weren't able to say goodbye one last time (i know that pain tho. lost my grandpa and didn't get to say goodbye either...)

I didn't know my parent's friend well. and I'm also pretty weird with grief so I'm not feeling like, rlly rlly rlly sad. I'm just sorry for my parents who have to see their friend go without saying goodbye.

(TW ENDS HERE)

Well. yesterday was rlly messy huh. hope today is more calm.

Outside of all of... that. and the sad part. i think in total my day was good. messy and busy. but good.

#personal diary #Trigger warnings!#Cancer #Death #TW cancer #tw death #you can jump the triggering part though #i marked it well

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jasntodds · 2 years

Text

The First Punch [18]

Pairing: Boxer!Tom Holland x Boxer!Reader

Word count: 4,007

Warnings: Swearing, angst, mentions of injuries, mentions of sex, mentions of drugs and drug addiction, I think that’s it??, a tiny bit of fluff? Kinda??

Summary: You have a plan, not good one, but a plan you’re willing to share

A/N: It’s been so long since I’ve updated lol I originally canceled this series but thanks to @softholand and @spiderboytotherescue I decided to bring this back!! A new chapter will be posted every Thursday (okay today is Friday but I thought yesterday was Wednesday so like ya know). I wish this chapter was longer for y’all but I’ve honestly been really sick so I split it into two to make sure I could post this week!! So, lemme know what y’all think and if ya wanna be tagged, just lemme know!!

ch. 15 || ch. 16 || ch. 17

series masterlist // masterlist

A plan. You have a plan and that’s great. It is finally something. Something to hopefully get all of you out of the mess you’re a part of. It’s just a little bit of relief. Just a little. Because part of Tom is wondering why you’ve been up here thinking of a plan after you’ve just had this fight and you thought he actually left. And with your mom being back. You’ve up here thinking of a plan when you could have been doing literally anything else, possibly a healthy coping mechanism. But, then again, it wouldn't quite be you if you had healthy coping mechanisms.

“So, I was rereading my book on mollusks for like the hundredth time.” You start and Tom just raises a brow.

“You’ve read a book on mollusks a hundred times?”

How are mollusks going to help? Who reads a book on mollusks after that kind of fight? What is going on?

“Why do you people always interrupt me? As if you haven’t read a damn book about fucking Jupiter or something a hundred time.” You snip, not trying to sound annoyed but wanting to get to the point.

Whenever you mention something that isn’t completely related to the topic, everyone wants to question that. Why is everyone so interested in everything else instead of the whole situation you’re all in? Can’t everyone just stop asking so many questions for a few minutes and let you just explain things?

“'s fair.” Tom nods, gesturing a hand out for you to continue.

“Anyway, one is nicknamed a dancer which made me think about a gala--”

“Isn’t that…what you did last time?” Tom cuts you off, remembering you talking about breaking into Arthur’s office during an event.

Tom’s voice is not confident and you’re not oblivious to his skepticism. Yes, it is exactly what you did last time that got he caught you but this time it’s different. Tom and Harrison have no else that Arthur can touch. Last time, there was more Arthur could do. This time, what’s he really going to do? He can’t take Harrison away, he can’t take Tom away, he won’t touch you. He could go after your friends but you’re planning to account for that if you get caught. But you don’t think you’ll get caught this time.

“Yes. But, last time, I was with Ian’s brother. Ian’s brother had, well, Ian. Someone Arthur could destroy. So, he threw me under the bus to save his ass and Ian’s. Fair enough if you ask me.” You explain.

You’ve never been mad about it. Well, in the moment you were mad because you had a plan and Ian’s brother went against that. It kind of blew up and it got you burned. It sucked but in the end, if it were Travis, you would have done the same thing. So, you hold no anger in your words, just understanding.

“What’s gonna be different this time?” Tom asks, worry radiating off of him.

“I have you.” You respond, words short and simple, easy.

Tom pauses for a second and you’re so confident he wouldn’t turn on you. And maybe he wouldn’t. He hates thinking about the possibility of turning on you. That would not be ideal and it would crush him. But, there’s a part of him that knows it doesn’t matter. Harrison has been his best friend nearly his entire life. If it were him, if he had to throw you under the bus, he would. It’s horrible to admit and it’s a bit crushing but at the end of the day if he had to pick who to pull out of a burning fire it would always be his best friend.

“He won’t touch Harrison.” You start, almost seeing the thoughts running through Tom’s mind. “If he does, he risks fucking up your whole fight. So, you don’t have to worry about him. And the gala, if word is right, is gonna be at his house. Makes things a bit easier. People let their guard down in their homes, I have no doubt Arthur will do the same. He also won’t think I’m stupid enough to try this again.” You shrug your right shoulder with a sense of ease.

“Right.” Tom nods slowly.

He doesn’t really know what to say. He, also, thinks it’s stupid to try this again. It really is. Break into Arthur’s computer while a gala is happening? And he’s right here? And at his house? This sounds like an absolute train wreck about to happen and he is not wanting to do this. But he looks at you and you aren't smiling but you have this confidence about you where you really think you can pull this off. For whatever reason, you believe in all of you. So, he decides to trust you.

“You and Harrison are gonna have to go. So, you’ll bring me as a date which hey, we’ll get a laugh out of it because Arthur won’t like it but he won’t argue it either. He’ll want you both to have dates as ya know, some weird ass social norm or whatever. So, Harrison will bring Matty.”

“So, what exactly is gonna happen hen? We just show up with you and Matty?” Tom’s sighs, enough to give you the reassurance that he’s on board.

“We go together, we make nice. Play along for the night. And when the time is right, me and you sneak out and head to the office. Matty and Harrison stay in sight of Arthur. They call us, our phones on vibrate, telling us he’s left.”

“How're you even supposed to know where--”

“I’ve….” You start, pausing for a few seconds before shifting on your feet. “Been in his house a time or two.”

“What?” Tom nearly yells and it’s like every time he gets one secret and he thinks that’s all there is, another one comes to the surface.

“Yeah, I’d rather not talk about it.” You divert your eyes to the floor, chewing the inside of your cheek.

It’s a past life, one you don’t like to think back on too much. Just another thing that blew up in your face. You become happy, something good happens, and then it gets ripped away. It’s just not something you’re ready to discuss, one even Matty and Mikey don’t bring up. It’s a need-to-know basis and Tom doesn’t actually need to know all the nitty-gritty of your life before him. Sometimes, secrets mean nothing besides just keeping some privacy.

“Is it somethin’ I should be concerned about?” Tom asks, brows furrowed with bits of frustration and confusion.

“Nope.” You pop the ‘p’, keeping a straight face. “Has nothing to do with any of this or you.”

Tom opts not to push further. It’s not really worth it in his mind. You’ve just got done fighting and making up and this whole thing is just going back and forth. It’s starting to even make him motion sick, the constant back and forth with you. Ups and down, fights and good days. It’s just a rollercoaster, keeping him on his toes. For once, just for once, he’d like to be able to relax, not worry about anything, not even think about anything. But he just can’t seem to get so lucky.

“What if we get caught?”

“We go in the nearest room, make each other look a little messy. Everyone will assume we went off for a quickie.” You give Tom a small smirk with a chuckle.

Tom scoffs with a laugh. “That’s your answer to everything, ya?”

“Oh, do you really think people are gonna start asking a fuck load of questions when we roll out of a room with messy hair and smeared makeup? Blissful smiles? Oh, come on now, Pretty Boy, they're not gonna question our sex lives.”

Tom shakes his head and it’s just. You have it all planned but there’s so much that can go wrong. So much. If Arthur leaves and Harrison and Matty don’t notice? Problem. If Arthur follows you? Problem. If Arthur won’t allow you to come? Also a problem. How is this even supposed to work?

“I..I don’t know, y/n.”

“We have to.” You plead, your eyes softening as you put your hands on his shoulders. “Okay, you don’t have to help. I’ll do it myself. I’ll do it with or without you because this is all we got. We have to prove what he does. We have to have proof otherwise, we got fucking nothing. It’s do or die.”

“Feel like you’ve lost your mind a bit.” Tom mutters.

“Everyday that goes by and I’m stuck in this never-ending loop of agony, I lose my mind a little more. Sometimes you gotta lose your mind to find yourself.” You say, word level and on the brink of being nonchalant.

“Did ya just read that somewhere?” Tom’s brow knit together, not amused.

“Maybe.” You give Tom a crooked smile making him laugh.

“Fine.” He agrees with defeat but a smile is still etched across his face.

You put up a finger. “Saved the worst for last.”

“Fuck’s sake, what else?” Tom lets out a groan, hoping this will all be over soon and you can just go back to your friends.

“There’s gonna be this fight, it’s a throwaway. Extra bets, extra money. Just a way to pin two people against each other that people really wanna see. We’re gonna fight each other.” You explain.

“What?” Tom raises his voice, brushing your hands off of him. “How do you even know that?”

“Arthur, he’ll want us to fight. He’ll place the most money on it, probably get more people to bet on it. Fights with the most money are the ones that get put on the card. He’ll wanna make sure you can beat me.”

A sense dread falls over Tom as he knows what you’re about to say and he will not do it. The whole point of this is so you won’t fight each other. It’ll be a blood bath if you do. Tom isn’t gonna just throw in the towel and he doesn’t even have to ask you because he knows you won’t pull your punches even if your life depended on it. You’re too proud, too much of a fighter. You won’t.

“No.” Tom’s word is completely flat, expression blank.

“You’re gonna beat me. I’m gonna let you--” You disregard the comment and continue.

“No. I’m not doin’ it. You’ve gone fuckin’ mad. I won’t.” Tom shakes his head, absolutely against this idea. It’s not happening. No way in hell.

“Yes, you will. If you don’t, you mean nothing to Arthur. He will know you won’t win then. He’ll throw you away then. So, you’re gonna fight me, I’m gonna let you win, but you can’t….you can’t go easy. Give it all you got. Make it look real, Mikey and Matty will be there. I’ll be fine.” You try to reassure, not really succeeding.

“I’m not gonna--”

“You will and I know you will because everyone pretends like they’re self-sacrificing but they aren’t. Gun to your head, you’ll save yourself.” You completely cut him off, not willing to listen to him say no another time. “Or, you’ll do it for Harrison.”

Would he do this to save just himself? Or would he do it for you? How right are you? Tom likes to think he is a least somewhat self-sacrificing. It hurts a little to think you don’t think he would sacrifice himself, to some extent, to help you. You’ve already done plenty to help him. Why wouldn’t he do something to help you? Now, of course, you have a point about Harrison. He will do it for Harrison and you know that.

“What about you, then, huh? Matty, Mikey?”

“I will be fine. I’ll talk with Ian, he’ll run with it so me losing does nothing. Me losing this one fight, that doesn’t actually matter, won’t affect me or Matty or Mikey or Travis. This fight, only affects you.” You ramble it off and you see the defeat in Tom’s eyes and you feel so guilty but there’s no other option. “I am telling you to do this. You have to. If you don’t, that’s it. This fight is in like a week, I think? Maye two. You have no choice. The gala isn’t until after that. We can’t do this alone. Not properly with a better chance of pulling it off. I need you to do this. For you.”

"This is gonna suck, you know that, ya?" Tom asks, eyes pleading for a change.

"Yeah, but..." You pause, going back to chewing the inside of your cheek. "That's the game, I guess."

"I hate it." Tom responds.

"I don't..." You just shake your head, wanting to be done with this and wishing you would have just held off on this bit until tomorrow. "I don't want it to go like this but it has to. And...." You let out a soft breath, eyes filled with sorrow. "I am truly sorry I'm asking you to do this. It's not fair and I acknowledge that. It's just....all we got, Tom."

Tom sighs and takes a small step toward you. "I know."

He caves in. It's not right. It's not fair but if this is really how the fight is going to happen, he knows you’re right. Why would Arthur waste time into Tom if he can't be you in just some fight that doesn't even matter? He wouldn't. If anyone can take a loss and suffer nothing but some bruises, it'd be you as much as Tom hates it. But, a part of him is hoping Ian will hate it and you won't have a choice but to put in everything you have. If you have to fight each other, fine, but he doesn't want you not to try. It's different.

“We can’t tell Matty or Mikey. They’ll just freak out and by the time the fight comes, they’ll either be so unbothered by it they'll look suspicious or they’ll be so worried it’ll be suspicious. So, they can’t know. I’ll take full responsibility for that one.”

It’s one thing to ask for this but now this has to be kept from your friends? They aren’t gonna be happy and Mikey already isn’t Tom’s biggest fan. Surely, this is only going to make this worse. But, you have been right up to this point and you know your friends better than anyone. If they seem suspicious, it could send a red flag to Arthur which would make the whole thing more complicated.

“Remember when I said I’d make it hard for you to not like me?” Tom asks and you nod. “You make it very hard to like you a lot of the time.”

“Yeah, I’ve got that effect on people. Are you in or what?”

“You’ve not given me much other choice.”

“Nope.”

“You sure ‘bout Ian?” Tom asks, the worry still etched in every wrinkle of his face.

“Eh, yeah, I’ll swing by and talk with him. He'll roll with it. He wants his brother back, or at least to know what happened. If I let Ian in, he’ll let me slide a few weeks without paying him.”

“He fuckin’ choked you last time? Think he’s just gonna be fine with this?” Tom questions, brow raised with doubt.

“He’s not like…..yeah. He will. I’ve known him a long time. You don’t get into debt with a dug dealer you haven’t know long. I got word he was almost busted a few nights ago. Means he’ll be cooling down on his own using and that’s mostly when he’s the worst. Half-sober he’s not terrible.”

“There’s still so much I don’t understand about you.” Tom lets out a sigh, shaking his head.

Everything is a bit insane but there’s something about the way you handle everything that makes Tom believe everything is gonna be okay. You fight, everything about you is this fight mode. You fight against everything and anything and come up with a way around the problem no matter how ridiculous the idea is. You just….do. Maybe it’s because you’ve always felt you’ve had no other choice but to be the one on the front line, the one ahead of everyone else to protect them. Maybe it’s just how you are, something in your bone. There’s something, something more than just childhood trauma that’s led you to this point. Lead you to be this fighter that you are today.

You pat his shoulder. “And you never will, Pretty Boy.” You flash a sweet smile before going to the bed and grabbing a blanket. “Ready to join the rest downstairs then? If we’ve sorted this out?”

Tom nods. “Yeah, yeah, guess that’s fine.”

“We okay?” You ask, watching over Tom as he shifts in his stance and he hesitates.

It’s the hesitation. If people are really okay, okay with each other, maybe there shouldn’t be a hesitation. There shouldn’t be anything to think about. It should just be a simple “yes”. But that’s not what Tom’s doing. He’s looking at you, hands going into his pockets, clearly trying to think if you’re really okay or not. Of course, you are but to what extent? You apologized which is nice. It's a work in progress. But….you’re just so nonchalant about it and that worries Tom. If everything goes to plan, do you really have a future? What are you if you aren’t fighting something bigger?

“What happens after this? If it works?” Tom asks, taking the blanket from you.

“What do you mean?” You furrow your brows, not sure what he’s getting at. The goal is that you’ll both be free, it doesn’t really matter what happens after.

“With us?” He points between you. “Seems we’ve only gotten this far cause we’ve been fighting this.”

You shake your head, taken aback. “No.” You scoff. “I mean, guess it brought us together but….I-I-I-I’d like to think there’s more, I guess? More than this bullshit.” You pause for a few seconds. “We don’t….” You shrug your shoulders. “We aren’t guaranteed anything. I like you, is that not enough?” There’s a softness in your voice, something Tom has only really heard with your late-night conversations and he knows it’s more than just this fight. It means something to you, too.

“No, no, it is.” Tom rushes the words out. “Just wanna make sure there’s…I don’t know.” Tom cuts himself off, not sure why he brought it up because even if there isn’t anything concrete between you, it doesn’t really change where any of you are or what’s going to happen. So, does it really matter?

“You can tell me.”

“You’re just so calm about it all, makes it a bit worrisome.”

It’s more than just a you and Tom thing but something with you. He’s kind of worried you’re ready to give it all up. Call it quits with this. Not between you and Tom, but the fight. Like the fight he likes so much in you is gonna die soon. You’re so calm, like the calm before things start getting really bad. Like you’re at peace with any outcome. He’s so scared you’re ready to give up if one thing doesn’t go the way it’s supposed to.

You shrug again. “Panic makes people stupid. People make mistakes when they’re panicking or freaking out. So…” You suck in a breath. “I stay calm, think the whole thing through a thousand times over without a word so everyone else can panic and freak or whatever the hell they want. If I stay calm, I can figure it out. I don’t panic so everyone else can.”

“Don’t think it’s good to bottle it up.” Tom takes your hand in his, a thumb gently brushing over the top of your hand.

“Nah,” You shake your head, looking at your hands. “But I’m not given a lot of other options so.” You walk towards the door, pulling Tom with you. “I promise, I’ll work on it though….if, uh, if you’ll give the time.”

Tom offers a small smile and follows you. “‘Course, I will.” Tom says softly, offering you a gentle smile.

Doubts, those are normal. Everyone has doubts about everything at some point. It’s normal so it doesn’t bother you that he’s doubting your relationship, doubting you, doubting all of this. You dumped a lot on him. A part of you would be surprised if he didn't have some doubt in his mind. That’s the thing about trust. Having trust in someone doesn’t mean you can’t question them or have some type of doubt in them. You trust someone and still question if they’re doing the right thing. The problem is blind trust. Blind trust just lets people get hurt. Everyone has to be able to question intentions and outcomes. Think for themselves. If this isn’t the right choice for someone, they should be able to choose another route. So, for you, it’s something refreshing.

Matty and Mikey trust you beyond almost anything and you do them. But you’ve been friends so long it’s almost hard not to have that blind trust. All three of you know you always have the best intentions for all of you above anything else. But with Tom, he doesn’t know you like Matty and Mikey do. He shouldn’t just blindly trust you even though you have both of your intentions at heart. Sometimes, it’s just nice having someone question you. It makes you think harder. Is this the right thing to do? Is this the best option? What if it does fail? Can you afford that? All questions you wouldn't be wondering if it were just Matty and Mikey because they wouldn’t question you like Tom does. Not in the same way. It makes you trust Tom more.

“You okay?” Matty asks as Tom and you make your way into the living room.

“Always.” You mutter while Tom takes a seat beside Harrison on the couch and you take a seat on the floor between Tom’s legs, blanket wrapped around you.

“We’re good.” Tom confirms, the rest of the boys looking over at him.

“So, what're you gonna do about she who will not be named?” Matty asks, half-joking with attention turning to you.

“Ignore her until she eventually goes away.” You laugh. “She’ll be out of here in a week.”

“Are you sure?” Mikey asks from the chair to the side of the couch. “She seemed more concerned this time?” Mikey says it as a question, hesitance in his voice.

The truth is that he hasn’t seen your mom show up caring that much, ever. She seemed honestly upset by the whole ordeal. He’s not saying or insinuating that you should hear her out. That’s not his place and he’s never been in your position but he wants to make sure you’re making the right decision for your own mental health. He doesn’t want you to, for any reason, regret not talking your mom.

“I know Arthur called her which ya know, how the fuck does he even know her? Like the fuck is that about?” You roll your eyes voice growing annoyed. “But she’s here to distract me. Leaving is what she’s best at.”

“How do you know it was Arthur?” Harrison asks.

“I know it wasn’t Travis. She wouldn’t just show up on her own after all this time. It’s not some type of a coincidence that we’re getting closer to the end and I’m not backing down. Arthur is a desperate, slimy, piece of shit.”

Tom remains silent and he just gets so angry. Not at you or your friends but at Arthur. He’s also sure it was him based on what you’ve said about your mom. He doesn’t think she’d just show up. He wouldn’t be surprised if Arthur was buying her off to show up here and try to mess it up. The thing that pisses him off though is why? Why can’t he just continue to mess with Tom and Harrison? That pisses you off, too. Is that not good enough? Why does he have to come for your family? And this doesn’t just affect you. He doesn’t know Travis, but it’s probably affecting him, too and now he’s the one stuck with your mom. It’s all a bit fucked up and every day that passes is just another day Tom sees the lengths Arthur will go to get what he wants. And that just won’t do.

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