#are as horrifying as they are impractical

[giddlygoat]

last night while getting ready for bed i was paranoid af because i had stumbled upon a disturbing youtube short [i hate its algorithm and have been thoroughly reminded of this!] and not only did my shampoo bottle have the AUDACITY to randomly make a loud popping sound while i was brushing my teeth, but my lotion bottle also fell off the shelf and scared me again. i had to sleep with the lights on. it was rough

#and this paranoia is so impractical too. it’s not even “oh no what if someone breaks in” i’m just scared of the dark #and idk i don’t think that’s childish. the genre is called Horror after all #if i consume horror content because i enjoy it and then i’m scared later it’s not a biggie. i signed up for this and it was worth it #but when i stumble upon a horrifying “based on true events!” kind of short where they try to capitalize on someone’s real life trauma #that is. different. and also soooo disrespectful and cruel honestly. it makes me so mad #and because i know it actually happened to someone it makes the paranoia soooo much worse #even tho it’s something that realistically will never happen to me. just knowing it is possible makes my heart 📈📈💥‼️‼️ #anywayyyy #vent #gear diary #ougfh. going to try and focus on the good now

[godzexperiment]

silly little thoughts-

something about the angels in d.ominion really like 'i value my vibe over being practical' with their clothes sometimes *shhh i know costuming etc but i like to think it's an Choice* (there is no way having long cloaks,etc while flying isn't kinda hazardous/annoying as fuck) is *chefs kiss*

#<<insomniac vampire speaking>> mun post #(it isnt always but it is often that it seems even in the middle of drama they're like i gotta be the hottest around mentality inclined) #(meanwhile nix that values oversized n comfy but that fits etc so he can move fast without issue) #(nix 'damn i admire the commitment but also personally i'd want to commit murder given how fast i go its an literal danger too') #(-angels doing what they do and fighting etc-) #(-nix who respects it but is horrified by the thought of getting whipped in the eyes by your own jacket etc-) #(he flies so fast- extra fast because of having more boost in that department so it makes for concern) #('they're higher angels or archangels etc surely they fly fast? and it's an hazard? no matter how good they are') #(answer: probably have adjusted how they fly/don't like hurtle through the air like he does lmao) #(he doesnt know that though! he only can view it an impractical and dangerous/that he never would dare to try it)

[livingjoke]

I think the most horrible part of batch 89 is how impractical they are. What possible purpose could you wish to achieve from surgically grafting wheels to a walrus or implanting a steel muzzle into a rabbits face? It's just pure sadism. Cruelty for the sake of cruelty. And it's horrifying.

#gotg #guardians of the galaxy #gotg vol 3 #batch 89 #teefs walrus #floor rabbit #lylla otter #rocket raccoon #high evolutionary #it's so horrific #I get so sad and distraught thinking about it

[cassolotl]

UK government planning to scrap a major disability benefit

I'm only just scraping by and the government are proposing to take away PIP (a disability benefit), which would be HALF of my income wiped out.

"Reforms to personal independence payments (PIP) could include stopping regular cash payments, and instead offering claimants one-off grants for things like home adaptations." -- "Disabled people face end to monthly benefits cash", BBC News, 29 April 2024

And:

"The plans, which will be consulted on over the coming months, also include proposals to “move away from a fixed cash benefit system”, meaning people with some conditions will no longer receive regular payments, but instead access to treatment if their condition does not involve extra costs." -- "People with depression or anxiety could lose sickness benefits, says UK minister", Guardian, 29 April 2024

That's what the NHS is supposed to be doing...

Genuinely absolutely terrifying.

Can anyone living in the UK join in with an (hopefully!) overwhelming cascade of unique emails to their MP opposing this? WriteToThem.com makes it very quick and easy.

They're proposing to replace it with one-off grants that the individual can apply for, which is absurd and horrifying, so feel free to point out how that won't work as well!

Here's what I'm writing, and do not just copy-paste my letter/email, because that makes it less legit. Do your own thing, even just one sentence telling your MP that you're opposed is enough if that's all you can manage. Whatever you want to say is what your MP needs to hear.

Dear [MP's name], Today I learned that the government plan to scrap PIP, and maybe replace it with something like a one-off grant application process, before the next election. ("Disabled people face end to monthly benefits cash", BBC News, 29 April 2024: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cn0ry09d50wo) PIP is about half of my income (about 44%). I don't spend it on occasional large purchases, I spend it on countless things that are more expensive for me than they are for other people. PIP is in place to acknowledge, as it says in the above article, that disabled people's lives are more expensive than non-disabled people's lives by hundreds of pounds per week. ("Previous research from Scope suggests households with at least one disabled adult or child face an estimated average extra cost of £975 a month to have the same standard of living as non-disabled households." That's £225 per week, and the maximum amount of PIP you can get is £184.) So firstly, it could be argued that PIP doesn't even cover the additional expenses of the average disabled household. And next, the cost of implementing an alternative system would be worse for disabled people, totally unsuited to its purpose, and more expensive to run. Worse for disabled people: Currently PIP acknowledges that being disabled takes a lot more work to maintain a comparable standard of living, and as it's an amount of work that the claimant cannot sustainably do, they are given money so that they can pay someone else to do it. These costs are distributed across all living expenses, in addition to occasional one-off purchases of e.g. mobility aids. Having to apply for one-off payments for expenses would be more work on top of that, so if the disabled person isn't able to do it (which is very likely) they will either have to work less in their day jobs in order to spend more time applying for one-off grants, or they will have to also apply for one-off payments to pay someone to apply for more one-off payments. This is self-evidently a waste of energy and time, and totally impractical, as well as being counter to the entire point of disability benefits. It would also be extremely undignified for the disabled people, and arguably against human rights (right to private life and dignity), to have to justify each purchase to the government. Totally unsuited to its purpose: One off-grants are not suited to ongoing higher expenses such as having to buy more prepared food (e.g. carrot batons are more expensive than raw carrots and go off much more quickly). Does this policy assume that disabled people's PIP is only for things like wheelchairs and walking sticks? More expensive to run: The system for PIP applications is already fairly backlogged, in that my last application took over 6 months to complete. I was awarded PIP for 10 years. If every application for a one-off grant had to be accompanied by an application of a similar scale that wouldn't be workable, so presumably an initial PIP application like the current system's would still be required to qualify for the system in the first place, and then following that, numerous smaller applications for money (e.g. for taxis, pre-chopped veg, painkillers, specialist clothing, etc.) would be carried out per person per month. The disability benefits system would have to be scaled up significantly, and it would be much more expensive. It is far cheaper to give people a set amount of money based on their needs; it's the same money that you would be giving them in grants anyway, but without having to process each purchase/one-off application. I implore you to oppose this proposal. It is blatantly unworkable to the level of absurdity, but more importantly it is inhumane. I look forward to your reply detailing your stance. Many thanks in advance. Yours sincerely, [My name]

But, again, if you can't manage anything long or complicated like that, your best is good enough. Even if they're not all perfectly written and detailed, we want to bowl them over with sheer quantity of emails.

#disability #disabled #armchair activism #UK #UK politics #PIP #personal independence payments #DWP #department for work and pensions #disability benefits #activism

[ambrosiagourmet]

Has anyone requested Marcille for the ask meme? If not then pls

Marcille!!!!!!!!!

First impression

Gay? Interesting elf girl with a really good design for a female character oh my god thank you. She gets to wear pants!!! It's a miracle!

Impression now

BELOVED HALF-ELF OF MY HEART... most determined member of the party, maybe second only to Laios. Not that it's a competition.

Girl who carries the weight of her existence in her heart everywhere she goes. Girl who doesn't know how to just exist because that would mean surrendering to the things time will take away from her. Girl with bloody knuckles who clings too tightly to the things she loves because she remembers a time when she didn't realize what they meant to her.

Girl who must shape a life too big to hold all at once. Who stares into that impossible task so unflinchingly that you kind of want to tell her to run away from it for a bit. Be a bit more of a coward, Marcille! But she doesn't have time to be a coward!! She's hurtling towards her goals at terminal velocity. But the same love that keeps her tumbling forward also pulls her back from the brink. Because she's still figuring out the balance.

Favorite moment

Rabbit chapter... my god rabbit chapter.........

Genuinely maybe my favorite chapter in the whole manga. It hits such an incredible peak of humor and raw emotion and impossibly ridiculous situations and grounded believable character writing. And no part of it is separate from the others.

What a fucking chapter. And what a fucking thesis for why Marcille is such a good character. Her being ridiculous and her being incredibly determined and her being powerful and her being scared are ALL part of her. Man. Marcille. She will do anything to pull through for her friends.

And then on top of it the way the Lion takes advantage of this moment to pull her strings. Which is just. So horrifying to watch because you want someone to give her a hug but all the people who would give her a hug are currently DEAD and she's left in a room along and exhausted with a manipulative, abusive, hungry opportunist. God. God. I love Rabbit Part II So Very Much.

Idea for a story

Umm hi sorry I am still busy thinking about Rabbit Part II. Please enjoy some shameless self promotion while I go lie down for a bit.

Unpopular opinion

She's bisexual!!!!! Normally I don't hold so fast to like "well canonically this character was into A Man so she can't be a lesbian blah blah blah" but it does bum me out that people ignore her succubus because I really do think that bi Marcille deserves more love. It doesn't make her any less into women sheesh.

Favorite relationship

Sorry I was thinking about Rabbit Part II again what was the question? Favorite relationship?

Yeah I dunno maybe Marcille and Laios? I kinda like the part where they rely on each other because there is no other way through and share an unnamed intimacy born in blood and bone and the way that they place impossible burdens on each other and owe each other their lives many times over and neither holds it against the other or asks for the repayment of debts that can never be repaid, choosing instead to keep walking into the future by each others sides because what else can you do. What else can you do.

They are pretty cool I guess. I'm normal about them though. Haha.

Favorite headcanon

I imagine that castle staff help Marcille with her hair on a day-to-day basis because leaving it just to personal friends and family would probably be impractical. But also I think Chilchuck, Laios, Falin, and also especially KABRU all learn enough to help her with it. I think that the first three learn some basic nice stuff but I think Kabru would get really into it.

That man could absolutely intensely hyperfixate on something like "nice hairstyles from another culture" for three to six months and come out the other side an expert.

#ask #ask meme #thank you for your patience!!! #and sorry it has taken me so long to get around to finishing these 😅 #I love Marcille so very much

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Fic prompt: character A falls asleep on character B, who needs to get up to get something but doesn’t want to disturb character A and therefore comes up with a maybe impractical solution to get the thing they need without waking up character A

There was kind of a lot going on when Ed was startled awake.

He registered the horrifying crash that had woken him up, the tail end of Stede's aww dammit, and, in pretty much the same moment, an awful gurgling noise caused by Ed reflexively jabbing his arm into Stede's throat in an attempt to curtail some imagined attacker.

"Stede!" Ed yelped, scrambling up from his formerly-comfortable spot curled in Stede's lap to straddle his hips, checking for damage. "Are you okay?"

"I was okay," Stede hissed, prodding at the tender red spot on his throat with his forefinger, "before you slammed your entire body weight into my throat, you nut!"

"Sorry." Ed grimaced, bending to press a kiss over the spot. Thankfully, the angle hadn't been very good, and his flailing had hit him mostly by accident. "What was that noise?"

Stede went quiet, starting to get a tinge of pink around the tips of his ears. "I needed to blow out the light," he said mildly.

"Blow out the...?" Ed shifted himself back into Stede's lap, flinging his legs over his thighs so he could see - oh, what the fuck.

Ed blinked at the pile of debris scattered around the side table next to their couch. Crumpled up paper balls, pillows, and a couple heavy books (what must have woken Ed up, he guessed) lay in a haphazard pile around the table, the oil lamp still burning merrily amidst the wreckage.

Ed immediately started laughing his head off, and, to his relief, Stede started laughing, too, his head falling to Ed's shoulder, pressing a kiss to the bare skin there between his laughs. "You're lucky you didn't start a fire, babe! Why did you think that would work?"

"I mean, it really doesn't need you to blow that hard," Stede shrugged, a hand landing easily, possessively, over Ed's hip in a way that just made him purr. "So I thought, you know, maybe the gust from something flying overhead..."

"Did you try -"

"Yes," Stede said, "I tried blowing from here."

He tried again, just blowing ineffectually into space, and Ed joined in to no avail. Stupid oil lamp just kept burning.

"Damn," Ed wheezed, breathless from his heroic attempt to blow out the light from across the room. "Why didn't you just get up?"

Stede brushed a strand of hair behind Ed's ear, his eyes crinkling with the softest smile in the world, the one he reserved just for Ed. "You were sleeping so well."

Fuck, but if it was possible for love to kill, Ed would've died ages ago.

"Alright," he said, straddling Stede's lap again and wrapping his arms around his neck. "I'll show you how it's done, watch. Just take me with you."

Stede laughed, pressing a kiss to his cheek before hoisting him up. Ed buried his giggles into the side of Stede's neck, wrapping his legs tight around his waist as Stede hobbled them over to the lamp. He held it up for Ed to blow out, and Ed loved him so much that the room stayed golden even when it was out.

"See?" Ed wrapped his arms tighter around Stede's neck, cuddling into his chest. "Wasn't so hard, was it?"

#ofmd #thank you so much for this one it was so cute!! #and don't be afraid to send weird ones pip! i can't promise i'll get to all of the little requests but these are fun! :) #pccp's kidney stone fics

[autumnmobile12]

About the Infant Skull in the Belmont Hold

Trigger Warning: Sensitive topics below.

In a post I made last year, I pointed out the small skull in this display is case belongs to a baby.

The 'crack' down the center of the forehead is a frontal suture which closes between the ages of three to nine months, and to showcase the fact it's not just a cracked bone, the animators included a fontanelle between the bony plates of the skull, which closes before the age of two.

There is the skull of an infant in the Belmont Hold.

So what's the story here?

Theory 1: The Skull is a Vampire

This could have been a human baby that was turned by a vampire for whatever reason. Maybe this was some vampire's twisted idea of a pet. Maybe it was a horrifying, psychological trauma where a human woman lost her baby and after becoming a vampire, turned an infant into a vampire so as to never experience that pain again whilst tragically blind to the fact an immortal infant would never grow up.

If either of these were the case, whichever Belmont found this child could have viewed his or her death as a mercy. Since the baby would be immortal, it would be impractical to keep it alive forever, not to mention almost cruel because what kind of life is that? And it would be equally inhumane to leave the vampire to starve to death, so the options are limited.

The skull was brought home not as a trophy but as a specimen to study and serve as a grim reminder of a harsh reality.

...

Theory 2: The Skull is a Dhampir

Carmilla's above comment gives me the vague impression that it's not unheard of for a vampire to have a child with a human and then turn the human into a vampire, creating a family unit. (Just the way she says it. Like the unspoken line was, "You married a human, you succeeded in getting a child off her, so she was free to become a vampire after, no?" Turning Lisa after Adrian was born was the next natural step in her mind, so it baffles Carmilla why Dracula's wife remained human.) So maybe dhampirs are uncommon, but Alucard is far from the first one to ever exist.

So if the skull belonged to a dhampir like Alucard, this opens up another set of possibilities, but before I go into those, I want to address the Belmont Clan's potential view towards vampires and human-vampire hybrids. It's not clear if Alucard needs human blood to survive. He eats human food, but so do the vampires. Lenore comments they get their essential nutrients from blood, but whether or not this also pertains to dhampirs is up for debate. In the Gresit Underground Keep scene, it does look like he had some form of blood transfusion system possibly sustaining him, but this could arguably be a life and death situation. As in, he doesn't need blood to survive, but it can also save his life if need be.

There's also the possibility the blood-drinking is not the same across the board. (Say Alucard doesn't need blood to survive, but another dhampir was saddled with the shitty genetics that make blood a requirement.)

For the Belmonts, I can see dhampirs being a controversial subject. From Leon to Trevor's time, there are four centuries and countless individuals with their own set of similar but unique values and opinions, so it would be understandable for various Belmonts to have points of contention as well as shifts in viewpoint down the generations as new information about the enemy comes to light. Some members might have the stance of, "Dhampirs do not need blood to survive, are not a threat to humanity, and therefore it is unnecessary to hunt and kill them," while others may have taken the more extreme stance of, "Dhampirs are unnatural creatures that do not belong in this world any more than vampires do." Without the precedent of Alucard and Trevor having a common enemy, there would be nothing to sway the entire family one way or the other.

So if this is the case, the skull could have come from a vampire family similar to Dracula, Lisa, and Alucard's, and that family could have been discovered by a Belmont who made the decision to eradicate the them, including the dhampir for whichever reason:

The existence of dhampirs hadn't been discovered/confirmed yet, so the infant was assumed to be a vampire and it was viewed as a mercy killing out of ignorance. (Remember, Trevor thought Alucard was a vampire when they first met, so there is no visual difference between the two species.)

Dhampirs are assumed by the Belmonts to need blood to survive and are therefore a predator to humans that needs to be put down, again out of ignorance or just plain malice.

This particular Belmont was a heartless psychopath who had no qualms killing an innocent baby just for existing.

...

Theory 3: It's a Dhampir and the Belmonts Have a Really Fucked Up History With Dhampirs

There is also the possibility the mother of the dhampir child was a human woman that was raped and impregnated by a vampire. (Surviving somehow...?) In this scenario, there is a woman terrified by the idea she is about to birth a monster and goes to the local vampire experts for help. The Belmonts take her in until she delivers this unwanted child and the fate of the baby dhampir is entirely in their hands, which brings us back to the mentioned controversy among the family members.

If the mother abandons her 'monster' child, the Belmonts are left which the choice, "Do we kill it before it grows up to kill someone or do we give it a chance and let it live?"

Another possibility is the dhampir was brought up within the household for the purposes of 'studying' or 'rehabilitating' its nature. Say the family discovers dhampirs don't need to subsist on human blood and are relieved. "Wonderful. Dhampirs can live as humans and there is no need to kill them." The dhampir grows up happily among his or her adopted human family.

But then there is a tragic accident where he or she doesn't know their own strength and fatally harms a family member. The Belmonts then make the decision: Lock them up or execute them as a monster.

Based on this precedent, the family then closes off the idea that dhampirs can live as normal humans forever and they subsequently commit infanticide against any future dhampir children that cross their path, a blanket decision based entirely on a one-time misfortune.

Theory 4: The Belmonts Were Not the Cause

This again calls into question how dhampir physiology works, but maybe the infant died of an illness of failure to thrive. Alucard is strong and healthy, but that may not be same for other dhampirs, especially ones that may have been rejected as a 'freak' by both humans and vampires. He had the advantage of having a loving family and a safe environment in which to grow up. Other dhampirs might not have had the same good fortune and their health suffered for it. (Or they got dealt a bad hand in the gene pool.)

As for how the skull wound up in the Hold, it could have been one of the 'weird stuff' the Belmonts found and brought back home with them.

This could also apply to a situation where a vampire killed a rival family and kept their skulls as trophies, and the collection simply wound up in the Belmonts' treasury after destroying said vampire.

"It's like a museum dedicated to the extermination of my people, so no. Not thrilled."

Whatever the truth of the skull, I'm inclined to believe Theories 2 or 3 because this scene struck me as a very subtle nod to how no side in a war is completely innocent. On the one hand, vampires like Carmilla, Cho, Godbrand, etc. hunt and toy with humans for sport and view them as lesser beings, and so the Belmonts seeking to eliminate them would be an understandable measure to protect humanity.

On the other hand, the presence of the infant skull indicates a tragic and bloody history of poor choices, old prejudices, potential atrocities committed by the 'heroes,’ and generational trauma. A past history even Trevor isn't particularly proud of for all the pride he has in his lineage. It really showcases the line between man and monster and aligns with the recurrent theme of 'we can be better than this' that occurs throughout the series.

But let me know if you've got any theories/headcanons different from what I have listed above. I'd love to hear it. Crediting Theory 4 to @thetvpenigma. Thanks for your help!

#castlevania #alucard tepes #trevor belmont #vampire skulls #belmont hold #dhampir #questionable history #medieval prejudices #belmont family #castlevania netflix #vampire hunters #skull anatomy #dhampir physiology #speculation #castlevania headcanons #httyd

[three--rings]

I finished reading Dungeon Meshi (aka Delicious in Dungeon, but it seems people kinda hate that translation).

Highly recommended. Like, I didn't know what to expect going in. I'd gotten the impression that the manga was kinda dark and disturbed, actually, from things I'd heard.

So I wasn't prepared for the wholesome, light-hearted tone of most of it. Found family dnd party gets into trouble and eats weird ass meals.

It seems like a lot of people focus on "oh it's not all fun and games, it's like HEAVY and shit" but it's very much both. It's very funny and very wholesome and also lots of (light) body horror and About Horrifying Things.

It never gets bogged down in it. I was kinda waiting for when Shit Got Real and the tone took a turn, but that never actually happens. It remains funny and absurd and warm even in the midst of horrors. At least half the characters don't realize they're actually experiencing anything horrible. And the others are mostly annoyed by the horrors more than horrified. For them it's just an annoying work day.

I do absolutely LOVE the world-building here and have started thinking very impractical thoughts about trying to set a dnd campaign in this world. (Even though I Don't DM!) But imagine doing a campaign set in this world where the players don't know Dungeon Meshi and therefore get to be blindsided by How Dungeons Work and Why. (My favorite part of the whole thing.)

I'm really looking forward to watching the anime now I've finished the manga. The bits I've seen look so perfect!

I may come back and do a full rec post for it after that. If I remember.

#dungeon meshi #threerings' reactions

[loving-n0t-heyting]

What would be funny about this insane floating pier the US wants to build for aid to gaza if the whole situation were not so horrifying: its some seasteading shit!! "What if we bypassed tricky problems of national sovereignty with an impractical floating construction project? Wouldnt that be cool,?" This is just ripped from the mainstays of technolibertarian microstate utopianising, as applied instead to aid during genocide. Defies belief there is nobody involved in the project who harbours some seasteading daydreaming themselves. Its so stupid it makes the mind reel

[catsnkooks]

if you want more whoreny thots here's one for you

ghost and reader have just gotten back from a mission, they're both worked up, and he's really worked up so he turns the lights off in the showers and grabs reader, kisses her neck and pushes her into the shower stall >:D

yessss all the whoreny thots

i'd imagine in this scenario, it's before ghost is comfortable showing you his real face, so if you have an intimate relationship with him, he either makes sure you're facing away from him, he keeps the mask on, or it's in the dark.

in this situation, its too impractical to keep the mask on in the shower, so he just decides to take the easy way and turn out the lights. it definitely freaks you out (i mean, the lights turning out while you're wet and naked is horrifying) but once ghost makes himself known by shushing you and pushing you against the wall, you definitely relax.

it's nice to feel his lips against your skin without the mask impeding him in any way. it's also nice to be able to run your fingers through his hair, even though it's wet with the shower. ghost is a very passionate man under the mask, and it shows when he fucks you.

which means he's hauling you up to prop you against the wall of the shower, your legs wrapped around his hips to make it easier for him to fuck up into you. his mouth is all over your neck and chest, always sucking on something whether its your skin or a nipple teased between his teeth.

and ghost is very, extremely, efficient in the way he makes you cum, methodical in the way he pushes you to your limit even in the confines of the shower.

#things kooks says #asks #tailorvizsla #smut #18+ #simon ghost riley x reader

[haroldhighballjordan]

The Batfamily and Water Apparatuses

It’s time for another random, nonsensical DC post. Here are my indisputable headcanons regarding the batfamily’s preferred method of hydration while on patrol.

Bruce: Does not drink water. Much to Alfred’s absolute horror, this man goes out on patrol with no water whatsoever. And then he gets back to the Batcave and drinks, like, a single glass of it before passing out.

Barbara: Definitely has something sleek and practical that can attach easily to her utility belt. Like those disposable travel water pouches that hikers use, so she can lighten her load every time she finishes one. Also makes it easy for her to be that Mom Friend TM and share, since she can just rip one off and hand it to someone when they need it. Looking at you, Brucie boy.

Dick: Goes on patrol with the most impractical sports bottle. You know, the ones with the straws? And I’m not talking about the flippy straws that don’t spill when you tip them over, I’m talking about those long plastic straws with the caps on them. This one, to be specific:

It’s extremely obnoxious and everyone gets super annoyed with him because he constantly forgets it on random rooftops while on patrol and insists they have to go back and find it.

Jason: He has been using the same plastic Ice Mountain water bottle for the past several years. Like, he is literally refilling a crumpled plastic water bottle with the hoses on the back of peoples houses and it horrifies absolutely everyone. One night Babs was like, “Jason, please just let me buy you a water bottle,” and he was like 🤨 “I have a water bottle?”

Cass: Shares from Jason’s plastic water bottle. Shares from everyone’s water bottles, in fact. I promise I’m not trying to be lazy with this one; I genuinely think she does this. And if whoever is on patrol with her for some reason forgets their water bottle, she takes it as a personal offense, because they forget their water bottle. Now she’s going to dehydrate, and it’s all your fault.

Tim: The only one smart enough to have something along the lines of a CamelBak hydration bladder built into his suit. However, it’s almost never filled with water and contains something completely counterproductive. Like, it’s probably filled with Hawaiian punch, or something equally as stupid.

Duke: Similar to Barbara in terms of practicality, he has, like, small sports bottles that attach to his belt. The ones that marathon runners use. However, he also forgets to fill them up and clip them to his belt half the time he goes out on patrol. It’s okay though, because he works the day shift. And the small businesses in Gotham are very used to preparing water for The Signal in case he stops by to rehydrate. He’s made good friends with his most popular stops.

Steph: Similar to Dick in obnoxious absurdity, but even less practical. She literally goes on patrol with a purple glitter Starbucks collectible cup. This one, to be specific:

Also leaves it everywhere, but gets it returned to her by random civilians because it has “SPOILER” bedazzled on the front.

Damian: Like Father, like Son - does not bring water on patrol. Years of training under the League of Assassins, Heir to the Demon’s Head, Damian Wayne al Ghul is more than capable of surviving extended periods of time with minimal hydration. His body is in peak survivalist condition and he will not be weighed down by unnecessary items such as water-bottles… (he shares with Dick when no one’s looking).

#batfam #batfamily #Bruce Wayne #dick grayson #Jason Todd #barbara gordon #cassandra cain #Stephanie brown #Duke Thomas #Damian Wayne #Tim Drake

[that-irrelevant-ricecakeaddict]

SIC PARVIS MAGNA {Charac. Profiles Pt.1}

an au by @that-irrelevant-ricecakeaddict & @seventhcallisto

SERIES MASTERLIST, Charac. Profiles Pt.2

Reader: Kang Y/N

[21 years old]

>Forensic science student at Okja Central College

>Lives in Seoultham with her elder brother, Kang Taehyun, who travels often for work but helps to pay for expenses

>One of the 2 registered residents staying at Felony Alley, Halazia Apartments

-Level 3, unit 03-01

>Works as a convenience store cashier and a lab assistant at the college when she's not in lectures or class

>Parents were killed during a break-in at their childhood home and town that her and Taehyun chose to move out of when Taehyun had enough money to take them somewhere else (Seoultham was the cheapest option)

>Rides a bike everywhere, despite how often it gets damaged or has its parts stolen by the many thieves roaming the alleys

Kim Hongjoong {Lucky Quinn}

[25 years old]

(based on Harleen Quinzel, Harley Quinn)

Backstory: Grew up in Seoultham and started studying psychology in college at a young age. At 17, he was kidnapped by and experimented on by notorious Seoultham villain The Joker. He was eventually forced to take a serum derived from the same chemicals that drove Joker insane and bleached his skin. Naturally, Hongjoong suffered from the same effects and even developed a sick admiration for the villain. He did everything and anything he could in an attempt to earn Joker's trust and approval. However, Joker and his other followers would often ostracise and abuse him, eventually kicking him out to the streets to die after a few years. Luckily for him, his childhood friend Mingi found him and took him in. With Mingi's help, Hongjoong was able to gain back some sanity and somewhat integrate back into society. Well...the society that he had known for the past few years, at least. He founded Birds of Prey with Mingi.

>Unemployed to avoid being detected by the government

>"Kim Hongjoong" was classified as dead after getting kidnapped by the Joker, so he's known by local law enforcement as mad vigilante Lucky Quinn

>Adopted his alias from his psychology professor, Prof. Quinzel, who had been with him when Joker came to kidnap him. Professor Quinzel was killed in the process, and Hongjoong wanted to honor her

>Still a little messed up in the head, but tame in comparison to how he was when he was still under Joker

>Spends his time either at New World Underground Crime Ring or back and forth between the other members' homes

>Known in the crime scene as a dangerous and violent vigilante who crashes illegal dealings and ongoing crimes, but is highly unpopular with the police for his impulsive behaviour often causing a lot of collateral damage in the city

>Learned how to fight from living with Joker for years

>Captain of the team

>Despite his impulsive and unpredictable nature, hes very caring and understanding of his members (even though their clumsiness causes him trouble occasionally)

Song Mingi {Flying Fox}

[23 years old]

(based on Barbara Gordon, Batgirl)

Backstory: Child tech genius who grew up in Seoultham. From young, he was always very socially awkward and introverted due to how much time he spent inventing and programming. He built seemingly impractical but highly advanced machinery and programmes, which he would later on make use of as a vigilante. When Hongjoong, his only friend growing up, suddenly went off the grid, Mingi dropped everything to try to track him down. After a few years, he succeeded in finding Hongjoong and took him in. Horrified after hearing of Hongjoong's experience, he soon started the Birds of Prey with him in hopes of finding other like-minded outcasts who wanted to help keep Seoultham safe.

>Computer-science student at Okja Central College

>The only other registered resident at Felony Alley, Halazia Apartments

- Level 2, unit 02-01 (reader's downstairs neighbour)

>Learned martial arts as a kid and has photographic memory

>Due to his side gig of being a vigilante, he's quite busy, so he usually only attends online classes and lectures

>One of, if not the ONLY, Birds of Prey member thats on neutral terms with the police since he occasionally helps them with detective cases

>Tech support and happy pill of the team

>A little clueless on things that aren't related to fighting or tech, meaning that, more often than not, the members have to look after him because he himself won't

Park Seonghwa {Ivy}

[26 years old]

(based on Pamela Isley, Poison ivy)

Backstory: Moved to Seoultham at 17-18 to study biotechnology and plants there. He fell in love with his biotechnology professor and let her conduct experiments on him. After undergoing the experiment that permanently altered his DNA to that of a plant's, the professor lied about having an antidote and instead abandoned him and ran away. A 19 year old Seonghwa developed hatred of women and extreme trust issues, and started isolating himself and his plants from the world. For years, he hid away from society to learn about his new abilities, and would only leave his hiding places to go to bars to seduce people that he could bring home as food for his carnivorous plants. This was how he met Hongjoong, who had been bored and wandering the streets by himself. When trying to feed Hongjoong to his plants, he was taken aback by how the light-skinned man was more fascinated than afraid. Hongjoong talked about the Birds of Prey, and Seonghwa decided to join them. The two men bonded quickly due to shared experience and trauma of being betrayed and ruined by someone they admired.

>Certified plant biologist, works as a lab assistant at Okja Central College

>Knows and is friends with the old lady who owns Halazia Apartments, hence he stays in the basement from time-to-time

-the landlady and her daughter, Chungha, are the only women he's comfortable with (before meeting reader)

>When he's not fighting crime as Ivy, he's in his "human" form

-meaning most of the time, hes just a tall, thin and pale nerd with faded red hair, and very weak presence that is often ignored by people (in comparison to his true beauty as Ivy being too distracting and dangerous)

>Spends his free time experimenting with different plants and flowers, occasionally accidentally creates drugs that he gives to Hongjoong to sell for money

>Finds comfort in being able to look after the other members

(Park) Yeosang {Orphan}

[23 years old]

(based on Cassandra Cain, Orphan)

Backstory: His parents were contract killers from a secret society, and he was trained from a young age to be a highly-efficient killing machine. He was deprived of a normal childhood and did not fully learn to write or speak, hence his lisp when talking. Mingi had ran into a 19 year old Yeosang on accident while investigating the organisation's activities. He brought him back to the Birds of Prey because he felt sad seeing how isolated and hopeless Yeosang was with the organisation.

>Unregistered in Seoultham, or anywhere for that matter (hence the censored barcode in his profile card!)

>Spends his time either as a bodyguard for Hongjoong at New World, or following around Seonghwa and Mingi at Okja Central College

>Was only referred to as "Yeosang" while training with the secret society, so he doesn't have an official surname

>Was very quiet but clingy to Seonghwa when he first joined the team, leading to his cover story of being Seonghwa's younger brother (hence why he's sometimes referred to with the same surname 'Park')

>When fighting crime, nearly his entire face is covered

>Despite his unique and advanced set of skills, he dislikes using violence and often only uses it as a last resort

>Best fighter on the team

>Doted on and babied by the rest of the team

#ateez #ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #park seonghwa #ateez au #kim hongjoong #song mingi #kang yeosang #park seonghwa x reader #kim hongjoong x reader #kang yeosang x reader #song mingi x reader #ateez au crossover #atz fanfic #atz au

[animentality]

I for one think they should be all of the above.

But what are you thinking?

Full description of my own personal assassin's shenanigans below.

Transcribed:

Twenty-three-year-old CEO Don Francisco wants one of the richest women in the world dead. Which one? Daphne Oakland: actress, model, heir to the Oakland financial empire, and unbeknownst to the general public, talented demon summoner. But since Francisco isn’t nearly as rich as the established Oakland family, he hires the only assassin he can afford: Sebastián Monterey, a down-on-his-luck, struggling demon summoner, the cheapest and lowest ranking one there is.

But Monterey is nothing like Cisco expected. He’s high-spirited, reckless, relentlessly cheerful …and worse, he’s a bit of a slut. The CEO is horrified to find out that Monterey has not just one, but seven angry exes in the killing business, who will stop at nothing to get in the way of an already impossible hit. Not only do they have personal reasons for wanting to see their former lover dead, they also have professional reasons: they are all currently employed by the Oakland family members!

To make matters worse, Monterey finds out the Oaklands are each protecting a demon ritual artifact for Daphne. When brought together, all 7 can be used to summon a demon more powerful than any currently contracted on earth. If he is to carry out this hit at all, he’ll have to interfere with the summon by stealing every artifact, and maybe even summon the demon before Daphne can.

But that's only if none of his exes kill him first!

#polls #writing #writers on tumblr #fantasy #romance #prose #spilled ink #ao3 #BOOK IS FREE GUYS #Till May 7th #If you ever wanted it now is the time

[onefellsloop]

More from the National Maritime Museum's Stephen Maturin starter kit:

(1) Pair of flintlock pocket pistols, perfect for lending to your girlfriend

(2) Wholly impractical chest/writing desk/washstand for Killick to lovingly polish

(2) Horrifying surgical instruments for whipping off legs etc

#stephen maturin #aubreyad

[sliceoflasagna]

my empathetic friend shaking their head growing increasingly horrified as i describe in detail various punishments featured in impractical jokers

#conversation we were having today on discord she was shocked #lasagna posting #impractical jokers

[docholligay]

Yellowjackets S2E2: Lottie

Hello! This is about up to Season 2, Episode 2 of Yellowjackets, and ONLY that of Yellowjackets. I have not seen beyond this spot, at all, and know NOTHING about this show. Please do not spoil it for me.  Things that are spoilery in nature, for me, include: saying things like  “Just wait!!” confirming or denying anything I put forward, outside information about the cast interviews or creator statements, leading questions like “Do you think “blank moment” means anything?” etc. Remember  that Y’ALL HAVE SEEN THE SHOW AND I HAVE NOT. This informs the way you  talk about things relating to the show. Just be really careful is all  I’m asking. Also: If there is LITERALLY any stance I  could take on this show or character that would make you upset, please  just fucking block the tag

If you WOULD like to discuss the show and my takes on it, the Discord is right here! I don’t go there, so it’s a great place to get every emotion out.

Please thank @sailorsunspot and @moonlight-frittata for backing this odd way of doing a liveblog, and remember my tip jar is always open

Okay, so let’s start this off with my own honesty. I HATE Lottie. Lottie is pretty much everything I hate about a person, I hate her impractical, woowoo, honor your own heart, feel the rhythm cult leader bullshit. I want to note that is most defintiely informing my read of this situation. Despite all that, I ask you to pleas please please not attempt to inform me of nayhting or spoil me. Okay. 

I do not for one second believe that Lottie ended up fucking…accidentally killing Travis because of a BUTTON MALFUNCTION. I could go into how she could have lifted up his legs and put his feet on her shoulders to help keep him from FUCKING DYING, and ALSO how he didn’t actually need to be more than an inch off the ground, but this isn’t about what Lottie failed to think of in a moment of desperation, because I don’t believe in the moment of horror and desperation.  

Remember, when she’s weaving this splendid little tale, SHE IS WEAVING THIS SPLENDID LITTLE TALE. She is the framing device for what happened with Travis. She even sets the stage, with a bunch of candles in a dimly lit room, covered in soft furnishings, as if it were a sort of confessional, and she the priest, communicating the will of God. 

THis is a story, that she is telling to Nat, a woman who has proven she is willing to severely hurt someone, and who is deeply entangled with Travis. Why WOULDN’T she frame this in a way that a woman who is absolutely haunted by the choices she made in the woods would understand? Travis wanting to make it all make sense, Laura Lee showing up and horrifying Lottie*, a moment that had horrific consequences, Travis saying --a nd of course POOR Lottie would never say this unless directly asked--that Nat would just make things worse. This entire story is being cast with the sort of lens that Nat would relate to IMMEDIATELY. It has great fucking narrative flow. 

Lottie might believe her own bullshit, but I’m not sure I think she does. The show is tipping its hand to the fact that Lottie enjoys her position of power, the way she fucking corrects her little follower about her healing smoothie, and corrects Nat about the specific color they use (which in itself is something else--heliotrope is the answer to a riddle in Finnegan’s Wake, a very confusing novel altogether that requires a lot of patience and untangling, and I think there’s something in that but I can’t really get it set in my head right). She doesn’t wear heliotrope, she wears goldenrod, or whatever she would call it. Lottie thinks herself above the people she leads, and I think that was true even back in the cabin. Maybe Lottie can commune with something, but she’s ALSO a fucking grifter. I want all of it to be true. 

“Sharing is in session” eat my entire dick, CHARLOTTE. 

I mean in fairness, Nat doesn’t believe her either, and I do think that is a great impulse. 

*I concede it is intentionally played ambiguous whether or not this is a part of the story Lottie tells. I, obviously, think she does, but again, I’m admitting my anti-Lottie bias here. 

#Doc watches Yellowjackets #Yellowjackets S2E2