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abundanceofsoph · 11 months

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SkyFire 3: Chapter 18

Relationships - Beginnings, Middles, and Ends?

:September - October 2018

Word count: 3.6k

SkyFire 3 MASTERLIST

As the end of September began to near, Niall returned to London and he caught up with Aurora for lunch. They sat outside a cafe nearby the studios, enjoying the sunshine. Niall had spent the last half an hour lamenting his dating woes to his happily married friend.

“It’s not fair,” he sighed. “You and Harry are perfect for each other and Lou and Elanor are back together and happy… I just want that, you know?”

“I do,” Rori agreed. “I’ve never known you to have a hard time meeting women though.”

“It’s not meeting them that’s the problem,” Niall replied. “It’s easy to start dating someone, it’s keeping it going that’s hard.”

“Maybe you just need help picking better options. What are you looking for?”

“Honestly? Someone that I can just be myself around.”

“You didn’t feel that way with the others?”

“It always ends up feeling like they’re dating Niall Horan,” he explained and Rori knew what he meant immediately. Being famous could be really fun and it came with a lot of benefits, but the downside was that it was often hard to know if people genuinely liked you or just liked your name and what it represented. “I just want to find a normal girl,” Niall continued, “with a normal job that wants to settle down. I want something serious.”

Aurora was quiet for a moment, her thoughts ticking over. Perhaps it was the pregnancy hormones, or perhaps it was the stability of staying in one place for several months for the first time in years, but Aurora was feeling overwhelmingly content and wanted to ensure those around her were too. “I might know the perfect girl, actually.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. I’ve actually always thought the two of you would be great together but whenever one of you is single, the other’s been in a relationship or on a dating break.”

“Who is she?”

“Ella,” Rori explained.

“Ella’s not interested in me,” Niall scoffed.

“Are you kidding me? She’s always had a bit of a crush but you either weren’t available or she was too intimidated. You should ask her out.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” Aurora promised. “Call her and ask to take her to dinner. I promise you won't regret it.”

xXx

The following week, Louis and Rori were talking about the fact that Louis had been speaking with Zayn the previous day.

“So you’ve fully patched things up now?” Rori asked.

“I wouldn’t say we’ll ever be like we were in the band,” Louis admitted. “I think too much has happened for us to go back to being brothers like that, but I feel we’ve fixed things enough to be friends.”

“I’m glad,” Rori said. “I mean, I’m not glad you’ll never be like it was in the band, but I’m glad you can be friends again. I was hurt when he cut us all off, but I know it was way worse for you than it was for me.”

“Yeah, I guess it’s a combination of getting out of all of that toxic shit and also just growing up, but I can look at it now and I get that he needed to get out to save himself.”

“I tried to call him so many times afterwards,” Rori admitted. “He probably blocked me because I never heard from him.”

“I think he changed his number.”

“That makes sense,” Rori nodded. Louis watched as she fidgeted with the pen on the table in front of her, her eyes locked on the blue plastic.

“Do you want his new number?” he asked. “Maybe now’s a good time to heal old wounds.”

She finally looked up to meet his gaze. “Do you think he’d even want to talk to me after all these years?”

“He replied to me when I reached out, and you didn’t drag him online like I did.”

“Maybe you could give him my number and tell him it’s ok if he doesn’t want to talk to me, but I’m here if he does?”

“I can do that,” Louis agreed with a soft smile.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

xXx

Zayn texted her 3 days later, asking if she wanted to get a coffee and she quickly accepted.

“I just don’t understand why you’re doing this?” Harry asked for a third time that morning.

“Because I have questions,” Rori explained again as she buttoned her jeans up in their walk-in closet. She watched Harry in the reflection of the mirror as he stood in the bedroom behind her.

“Like what?” Harry scoffed. “Why was he a selfish prick that blew everything up instead of just talking to us?”

“Harry,” Rori sighed. She was exhausted from having this same argument on repeat for the last several days. “I’ve already explained this so many times. He was my friend, he was in pain and I missed it. I want to know how I missed it. I want to know what I could have done differently so that he could have felt safe talking to me.”

“What he did wasn’t on you,” Harry argued. “The only person responsible for what he did was him.”

“I have to go or I’m going to be late.”

“Yeah, sure. Just dismiss me again.”

“Harry I can’t have this fight with you right now and honestly I don’t want to have any fight with you. I’m going now and I really hope you get this attitude in check by the time I get home.”

xXx

Zayn was already waiting for her in a booth when she arrived at the Golden Stag. It was awkward at first, with neither of them knowing what to say or how to start.

“I read you and Harry bought the place,” Zayn said after several awkward pauses in conversation.

“We did, yeah,” Rori nodded. “Helen and Greg couldn’t afford to keep it and I wasn’t ready to say goodbye so we bought it and have been updating it a bit.”

“Fresh coat of paint?” Zayn asked.

“That and the stage,” Rori agreed, gesturing over to the small platform that had been recently built in the far corner of the room near where her piano was set up. “We want to start organising open mic nights. Music, Comedy, and maybe even some pub trivia nights. Just some different ways to get people in and spending their money, you know?”

“Sounds awesome. You guys have really got things sorted by the sounds of things.”

“We’re certainly trying… How about you Zayn? How’s your life been?”

They chatted for a while, updating each other on their lives before finally building up the courage to talk about what had ended their friendship all those years ago.

“I really am sorry I ghosted you,” Zayn finally admitted. “The guys were just so angry when I told them, I couldn’t imagine you feeling differently. Especially with how angry Harry was.”

“Harry’s temper has always been his downfall,” Rori admitted. “Especially when he uses it to mask when he’s been hurt. I won't lie, you hurt me but I understood you were protecting yourself.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t written a song about it to be honest,” Zayn admitted. “Most of the boys have.”

“I did,” Rori replied, “a few years ago.”

“D’you ever record it?”

“No, I sold it,” Rori replied. “Wanna hear it?”

“Yeah I would,” Zayn agreed, watching quietly as Rori pulled her phone out of her pocket and opened spotify. She queued up the track before handing a headphone to Zayn and placing the other in her own ear. She didn’t miss the slight flinch as his fingers brushed her prosthetic. The opening piano riff of Tell Me How filled their ears, and then Hayley Williams started to sing the words that Aurora had written years ago, only a few months after Zayn had vanished. He refused to meet her eye as the first verse played, and instead stared at his hands, clasped together on the table between them.

I can't call you a stranger

But I can't call you

I know you think that I erased you

You may hate me, but I can't hate you

And I won't replace you

Tell me how to feel about you now

He didn’t lift his gaze until the bridge, finally looking up at his former friend.

You keep me up with your silence

Take me down with your quiet

Of all the weapons you fight with

Your silence is the most violent

“I never really thought about the damage I caused when I left,” he finally said when the song ended. “I knew the guys would hate me but beyond that I didn’t stop to consider anyone else.”

“I meant what I said before, I don’t blame you,” Rori replied. “You were fighting for survival. It’s not selfish to save your own life.”

“You make what I did sound noble.”

“Maybe not noble, but definitely necessary,” she elaborated. “I’m just sorry we didn’t see it happening and step in to save you first. We failed you.”

“No,” he replied. “No, I was ashamed so I hid what I was feeling until I couldn't anymore.”

“Can we agree that we both could have done better?” Aurora offered as an olive branch. “I’m pretty sure we could go back and forth over whose fault it was forever and we’d never get anywhere.”

“I think that seems fair,” Zayn agreed with a soft smile.

Aurora smiled back, turning the conversation to lighter topics and within minutes it felt like they were back on a tour bus all those years ago, sharing quiet conversations on long drives in the middle of the night. Things were going great and flowing easily, but Aurora couldn’t ignore the way Zayn’s eyes would occasionally flick down to where her prosthetic was resting on the table. Everytime it happened it was just for a split second and for a while she tried to convince herself that she was imagining it. Eventually she couldn’t ignore it any longer and certainly couldn’t ignore the way his brows would pinch together slightly.

“Do you have a problem with my prosthetic?” she finally asked, a little more bluntly than she intended.

“What?” Zayn gasped. “No, god no.”

“You keep looking at it and frowning and it’s hard to think of another reason,” she explained. “I understand that it makes some people uncomfortable but honestly Zayn…”

“No,” he interrupted. “No, it’s not that, I promise.”

“Then what is it?”

“When I saw the news about the shooting,” Zayn started. “When I saw that footage of Steve carrying you to the ambulance, it was awful.”

“I hear that a lot,” Rori replied.

“And I felt so guilty,” he continued.

“Why would you feel guilty?”

“Because I was a terrible friend to you and I thought you were going to die hating me.”

“But I didn’t die,” she pointed out, “and I never hated you. Why didn’t you reach out then?”

“Because I’m a coward,” Zayn admitted, “and I thought you and the guys hated me for what I did. It would have been selfish of me to show back up then.”

“Zayn there’s nothing I would have loved more than for you to reach out after the shooting.”

“I’m so sorry, Rori. I’m sorry for everything.”

“I know you are,” she offered with a smile, “and I forgive you, just like Louis does. We were all just kids and we fucked up a lot of things back then.”

“Do you think Harry will ever forgive me too?” Zayn asked and in that moment he seemed so small and so young. “I’ve spoken to Niall and Liam since Louis and I patched things up but it’s been radio silence from Harry. It’s why I was so surprised when Lou gave me your number and said you wanted to reach out.”

“Harry’s stubborn,” Rori sighed. “He’s still holding on to a lot of anger and I don’t know whether he’ll ever let it go.”

“Yeah, I thought as much,” Zayn agreed. “Can’t imagine he was thrilled about today.”

“He’s not,” Rori agreed. “We’ve kind of been fighting about it for the last couple of days.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. He’s been a bit of a dick lately, but I guess that’s a part of being married. Sometimes the person you’re married to acts like a dick and you put up with it until they pull their head out of their arse and apologise.”

“Are you happy, Rori?” Zayn asked softly. “I mean apart from the current predicament of your husband being a dickhead?”

“I am,” she replied with a chuckle. “Are you?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“I’m glad. We deserve that.”

It was late afternoon by the time they said their farewells with promises to stay in touch and Aurora made her way home, hoping that Harry would be in a better mood than when she’d left.

xXx

Harry hadn’t continued their argument when she’d returned to their flat, but over the next few weeks his bad mood continued and while Rori was pretty sure she’d caused it, she couldn't for the life of her figure out what she’d done wrong.

A week before the first live shows were set to begin, and a week after Aurora entered her second trimester, she was starting to feel exhausted and her feet ached constantly. By the end of each day all she wanted to do was get home as quickly as possible so that she could curl up and fall asleep. It was a Thursday in October and after a long day working with her contestants, Aurora headed straight home, barely making it to the couch before she collapsed in a hump and fell asleep. When she woke, it was dark and she could hear Harry coming into the apartment, he’d just slammed the door which is what had woken her up. She was groggy and it took her a moment to catch up to what was happening and the fact that he was yelling.

“Where the fuck were you Aurora?” he bellowed.

“What are you talking about Harry?'' she mumbled as she struggled to catch up with what was happening. .

“I said where were you?”he repeated, looming over her where she was still laying on the sofa.

“I was right here,” she replied. “Why are you yelling at me?”

“Because you were supposed to meet me in Soho for dinner with the movie execs and you never showed! I thought something happened to you and now I get home to find you asleep on the sofa. What the fuck Rori?”

“No, dinner isn’t till Thursday.”

“It is Thursday and you weren’t there!”

“Oh god!” Rori gasped, placing a hand over her mouth in dawning realization. “I’m so sorry, Harry.”

“I asked one thing,” Harry continued to shout, his anger not abating as he berated her. “I asked my wife to be supportive of me for one fucking meal and you couldn’t be bothered to show up for me!”

“Harry I’m sorry,” Rori sobbed, “I was exhausted and I genuinely didn’t realize it was tonight. Can we reschedule?” She stood up from the sofa, reaching out for him, but taking a quick step back when he lurched away from her.

“No, Aurora! Because not everyone on this planet is just going to change their plans to fit around you. My god, when did you become so selfish?”

“That’s not fair, Harry. Please stop yelling at me.”

“No. I'm mad and I have every right to be and if I want to yell in my own home then I’m damn well going to!”

“I'm sorry. How can I fix this? Please, just let me fix this,” she begged.

“You can start thinking about anyone but yourself for starters.”

“Do you really think that? That I’m selfish? That I don’t think of you?”

“You’ve made it pretty bloody obvious lately, haven’t you? There’s a reason we're here in London. There’s a reason you’re pregnant with a kid that’s not ours.”

“Both things that you agreed to,” she reminded him.

“I guess I just didn’t realize I was agreeing to everything being all about you.”

At that, something in her snapped and the anger rose in her to meet her husband's temper. “Is it all about me Harry? or is it that for the first time in our marriage, I don’t revolve around you like you're the sun? Is your little narcissistic ego bruised because I’m doing something for me for once?”

“This isn’t about my ego. This is about yours! This is supposed to be a partnership. We’re supposed to be doing things together. But you seem pretty happy off on your own.”

“We can’t be joined at the hip! That’s not healthy,” Rori yelled. “I’m more than just your wife or the girl who plays piano in your band.”

“You’ve made that painfully clear. Honestly I don’t even know why I’m here.”

Aurora felt like she’d been slapped. She’d known Harry had been angry for weeks. She’d known that something was wrong between them, but she hadn’t realised how much he had grown to resent her. She felt so betrayed by him in that moment that she lashed out, saying the worst thing she could in that moment. “Why are you then?” she screamed. “If you want to be in LA writing your next big hit then just go! Don’t let your selfish wife hold you back. You just go and live your rockstar dreams and surround yourself with people desperate to make it all about you.”

“You know what? I will.” Without another word, Harry turned on his heel and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him, the sound echoing in the dead silence left in his wake.

The silence that was finally broken by the smashing of the glass fruit bowl as Aurora lashed out at it, causing it to fly off the end of the kitchen counter and shatter against the tile floor. She looked at the broken shards for a moment before turning on her heel and heading to their bedroom, angrily throwing herself onto the bed that smelt of her and Harry.

xXx

She barely slept, unable to stop Harry’s angry words from swirling around her head. She felt so defeated and so incredibly guilty for not seeing how much her actions had been affecting him. Of course she knew that Harry’s feelings were his own responsibility and that he was being unfair to accuse her of being selfish for taking the X Factor job, or for being her parents' surrogate. He should have talked to her about how he felt about the changes they had made recently, but that didn’t stop her feeling guilty for hurting him, whether she’d meant to or not.

By the time she heard the front door open, she’d decided that the best thing for them would be for Harry to go to LA and write while she stayed and finished the show. She climbed out of bed, still wearing the clothes from the day before, and met him in the living room. He looked awful, his clothes disheveled and his hair a mess. Even from a few feet away, she could smell the bourbon wafting off him and she wondered if he was still drunk.

“I’m so sorry for last night,” she began, her voice soft in the awkward atmosphere.

“Rori…” Harry began with a gravely, pleading tone.

“No, please let me go first,” she interrupted. “I let you down last night and I feel terrible for it.” Harry’s head dropped lower as she spoke, unable to meet her eye and his guilt was painfully clear to see, but she pushed on regardless. “While I think a lot that you said last night was out of line, you were also right about some things too.”

“Rori, please just let me…” Harry tried again.

“Harry, I think you should go to LA to write,” Rori continued. “You can stay at Dad’s Malibu house and you can work on the next album and I actually think it could be really healthy for us to have some time apart for a few weeks or a couple of months. I mean most couples don’t work together every day and maybe we just need to reestablish ourselves as individuals.”

“Rori I slept with someone,” Harry confessed. She froze, shocked beyond words and unsure what to do. “I was so angry when I left here that I went straight to a club and I got so black out drunk and this girl was all over me and I hate myself.”

“You need to leave,” she finally said.

“Rori, baby. I’m so sorry. I was so stupid and I don’t…” Harry began.

“I said you need to leave,” she repeated quietly. “Go to LA, get a hotel, go stay with Anne. I don’t care where you go but I want you out of this house.”

“Baby, please.”

“Harry, I swear to god if you don’t start packing a bag, I will. I love you, but I don’t want to even look at you right now.”

“Let’s just talk about this.”

“GET OUT!” she screamed, finally unleashing the pain that was burning its way through her chest. “Get out and don’t come back until I’m ready. I mean it Harry, if there is any chance for us to save this, then you need to give me space.”

She didn’t give him a chance to respond as she headed for the door, grabbing her coat and bag on her way out the door. She didn’t pause to put on shoes, simply scooping them up as she walked out barefoot.

Author's Note: I am so sorry for this one but I had to put them through this to make Fine Line

NEXT CHAPTER - coming soon

OR CONTINUE READING ON AO3

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