#basically im all over the place

[chiquilines]

Currently obsessed with her. What's better than a cocky man? A cocky woman next question

#soooooooo many Ideas for fem!hawks #like yes she is 80% me projecting my ideal woman #but there is also Plot in there #i feel like she'd be much more overt about her beef with the HPSC #cause as a woman #shed be more pissed about being used as a honeypot for the mission #oh have i forgotten to mention #in this au she was sent to infiltrate the LOV by seducing shigaraki #neglecting that he is in fact aroace #she however takes this extremely personally #shes a great spy/murderer without the seduction fuck you very much #she does end up seducing someone that neither her the HPSC or the seduced are particularly happy with #but it falls together in the end #and by falls together i mean the HPSC gets nuked and they all live happily ever after #i do love the genral hawks headcanon of workaholic so we're keeping that #those arent fake nails by the way i just gave her talons cause i think theyre cool #basically im all over the place #but so is she #so its a tribute really #hawks #fem hawks #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #chiquilines draws

[stuckinapril]

the neurologist i shadow is so funny bc she has a valley girl accent and yet she's the smartest person in the room. this woman was casually doing case consenus ab a man w frontotemporal dementia in the highest girliest voice imaginable. i want to be her i think

#case consensus is basically where several neurologists/doctors meet to decide what the patient's case actually is #im genuinely not sure why this medical center does it this way but they write down data on paper THEN input it into the digital system #which i have qualms w bc i feel like it wastes so much time #but literally my whole role at this internship is inputting this data into the system so i should probably be grateful they do it this way #but in that one meeting everyone was all over the place so this at the ending of the meeting this woman goes #“that... was frantic.” #in the most valley girl accent known to man #and ever since ive integrated this as my response to everything #youre right. that WAS frantic #she also was like “sorry im unfocused. need lunch rly bad” at one point during the meeting #this neurologist is just like the rest of us fr

[puppyeared]

man

#maybe im being pessimistic abt this. im not saying u should wear a mask every waking moment of your life god knows i cant #but also. hell no i dont trust u if anything i distrust u ppl even more after how things played out for the past 3 years #like there are situations where it might be inevitable catching covid. most of my family members are nurses and in constant contact #but there are also a ton of ways to make that risk low as possible like masking and wearing a face shield and having sanitizer #for me its not enough to just say oh we're in a small group and we're all vaccinated #motherfucker your kid is sick from preschool EVERY TIME WE VISIT. of course ill be wearing a mask she gave me covid last year #also no the fuck it isnt seasonal the cases go up because lack of caution makes the virus spread and mutate especially around times when #ppl gather. add that with virus transmission in cold weather and its a matter of different factors increasing the risk of spread #im also tired of ppl not understanding that i wont be their responsibility if i do get sick. maybe they can help me recover #but at the end of the day the risk of death and long term health is all on me. i cant change that #the govt barely gives me accommodations what makes u think theyll do anything for every individual case of long covid or worse #im so tired. im so tired #i dont even know if its possible to want this to be over anymore i just wish we didnt have to deal with this in the first place #ALSO COUGH INTO YOUR SLEEVE SERIOUSLY HOW IS THIS SO HARD TO REMEMBER #oh its just a cold/dry throat its not like i have covid or anything. no!! its basic hygiene!!! how is this so hard to understand!!!!!!!!!! #and no this isnt abt whether people have the means to protect themselves this is me bitching abt my relatives not taking me seriously #vent #my art #myart #doodles #covid 19

[lobotomyladylives]

my tracklist btw (: all are finished lyric wise I just need to write the actual music lol. I have the melodies in my head but not on paper.

#the psalms duo are like. part 1 part 2 of the same exact theme just past present & future. the first is 10:31 bc its my bday & ??? is #future focused #24 dnp is about a girl w/an ED who dies from taking that drug #independence day is about a woman whos friend is an abusive relationship & they kill him together #W.M.D. is about fame as a concept & how destructive the panopticon of publicity can be #angels interlude is just instrumental #i just saw a ufo is basically the song version of everything i see on my ufo forums + my experiences #scum is self explanatory #late bloomer is the only love song #the good old days is from the perspective of a housewife in the early 20th century talking to future generations of women who romanticize #the past. on a lighter note is just a convo that starts as small talk but keeps getting weird #last song of the kauai o o is the actual last song of that species calling for a mate that doesnt exist anymore except im responding #with instruments in the same tone as the return call . no lyrics #the genre of the album is all over the place. what is sonic cohesion. #LX3 op

[kingtuna]

i have a very stupid au

it's basically just 'hey here's all this crazy shit that would not happen in canon and it's all piled in this storyline'

a part of it is Rex being deployed early and at first I was like: hmm maybe half a year? a year? a year and a half? and then I went: fuck it everything is already crazy as fuck why not lower that age even more

I made up an explanation in the au but basically everything is just 'things that are stupid and would not happen'

my question is: after I finish my corrie rex au should I write and post it? cause I have the storyline fleshed out, but I don't know if i should share my crazy with the world

#i just stole a bunch of different ideas from places and piled them on top of each other and slapped a plot over it #its got everything #angst #command batch and rex #heck even force sensitivity #all the angsty kamino things stuffed in #and then in the next part of the series #(which takes place after their deployment) #theres the irrational deployment-of-child #but it has an in au explanation #star wars the clone wars #clone wars #the clone wars #star wars #clone wars au #star wars au #the lowering of age was basically just becasue #im a sucker for my faves being concerned for my fave #and one surefire way to make them even more concerned is if hes in shitty situations even younger

[spacedlexi]

it honestly frustrates me when i see people reduce the ericsons cast down to "just some teens in the woods" acting like theyre no different than any other group of lone teenagers from other existing properties and treating them like an overused trope

it is sooo important to acknowledge the "troubled youth" aspect of the whole equation. theyre not just some random teens in the woods clem stumbles across. these kids were abandoned by their families for their various "difficulties" and fucked up by The System before the outbreak even began. and then once zombies started roaming the streets their familes never came back for them and the adults that were in charge of taking care of them just left them there to rot in that old boarding school (except for ms martin who was like their lee 🥺 the only person who ever saw them as the scared traumatized kids they were and died protecting them)

the whole aspect of them already being fucked up by the adults that controlled their lives is like.....kind of important when discussing the whole "delta is stealing kids to force them to fight in a war they have no real part in and want nothing to do with" aspect of the season. and its important when comparing them to clem and her journey of also suffering at the hands of the adults around her forcing her to become self reliant. AND its important when discussing the "just trying to build a safe home (and future) worth fighting for in this world that wants them dead" aspect of the season as well

these kids were forced to come together to survive. and a Lot of them didnt... theyre the only family they have left and you can tell that even when they argue with each other theyre still a close knit group who looks out for each other. theyre a Real family before clem even gets there (and its why what really happened with the twins and brody and marlon hits them all so especially hard)

all of this is what REALLY makes ericsons such a perfect home for clem. its a Real community of her True peers. theyre not Just teens. they mightve had a layer of safety clem never had by at least having walls to keep them safe. and having the benefit of the school being hard to find. its the only reason theyre still alive when clem shows up. but theyre also some of the only people who can Truly understand where clem and aj are coming from. and its why it hurts so much when they vote to kick them out. but its also partially why she merges back into the fold so easily when she returns. plus the fact that shes Really the only one who has any idea what shes doing. shes their rock and she makes them feel safe because underneath it all theyre still just those scared traumatized kids ("EVERYONE is scared, clem..." vi was Definitely including herself in that 'everyone'), and on some level, so is clem

they saved clementines life. and she saved theirs. "the school was supposed to help them with their trauma, now they help each other" its about the LOVE the COMMUNITY the SUPPORT!!!! and thats the shit that makes good zombie media honestly 👌

#it speaks #twdg #there i go again writing another essay but i will Always defend the ericson cast theyre one of the strongest out of all 4 seasons #complaints ive seen about s4 typically include mentions of the teens as a trope being overused and im like.......did you even pay attention #the fact they were branded “troubled youth” and basically thrown away by everyone who was supposed to take care of them is SO IMPORTANT #these kids are Fucked Up but theyre Trying to make a kinder world #nobody talk to me i fucking love the ericson cast 😭😭😭 theres not a single one of them i dont like im serious #them using poor pilgrim of sorrow in ep3....ericsons is heaven to clem 😭 all the comments she can make about feeling safe there 😭😭 #clem being everyones rock but violet being clems rock back 🥺😭💕 waaaaahhh thats why it was over for me when vi stood up for them in ep 2 #vi having the courage to stand up to her group for aj........... yeah she had me in a vice grip after that. she fought for them so hard #and if it wasnt for her advocating so hard for them to stay they ALL would have been taken or killed #vi cared about clem so much she undoomed them all #and aj loved clem so much he undoomed her :') #s4 is just the perfect ending to clems story truly itll make me happy for the rest of my life im so happy for u clem 🥺 #tfw the media you like gets a good ending and the main characters are respected and it feels like it was made from a place of love #instead of being like...actively hostile to its fanbase and destroying its own characters for the Laughs #and when i say “good” i dont necessarily mean “happy” i just mean “competently written" #i wouldnt call it perfect but it survived both a cancellation AND the financial collapse of a major game studio. its perfect to Me #for what it is (and what it originally almost was with the clems house plot) we truly lucked out so fucking hard #truly a return to form of season 1 but with less despair and more hope which i appreciate :') #all the things ive liked over the years that were destroyed for me by bad or weird writing decisions... clutches onto twdg like a lifeboat #god i love s4 so much nothing has ever been More Specifically Written For Me Personally

[why-the-heck-not]

hate hate hate the feeling of turning in a part of an assignment and being hella embarrased abt how it is :3 like, feeling someone’s just gonna email me like ”hey?? what the fuck ??? what are u doing here this is garbage” like yeah dude i dont know what to tell you, things did not go well this week

#doing one that’s like a bigger thing but has weekly deadlines #and this week hasn’t been good for that so it’s like very fucking pathetic of how little I got done #and it’s all basically shit anyways like i know it doesn’t work and won’t work with the way I’m going about it #also I’m only submitting the previous version bc i don’t even fuckin know what’s going on with this current one #like the code’s all bad and all over the place and I have no clue where i’m trying to go with it #so it’s like i basically didn’t get shit done this week #only made myself more confused #i need to take a step back and like really fuckin think what I’m going to do with this bc it’ll just get worse if I just keep trying to go #with this shitty thing i have on my hands rn #and also im like over an hour late already bc gotta write a weekly report and idk what the fuck to say like #’’oops sorry dude it’s shit rn i have no clue what’s going on but also dont have anything i could ask help with bc im too confused so it’s #just uhh this thing now; a mess <3’’ #the way i’ve been handling this course like ?? uh oh will i ever have the audacity to step a foot to my campus ever again lol #yes im now writing this to procrastinate writing that weekly report thing #ughhh yes im hella positive rn all is shit #(also there was parliamentary election today and it didn’t end well so that might be why everything feels 5x more shitty rn) #april 2023 #2023

[indigodawns]

.

#been sitting here for 1.5 hours now trying to decide if i should go see my friend as promised #or not. basically i texted earlier like heyy sorry can we do tomorrow im all over the place (mentally extra unstable*) i don't wanna #make you deal with that #but she said she might not be able to do tomorrow and she's told me she hates when ppl cancel bc so many ppl have been #cancelling on her and yk. feels bad. so i really should go but im also just. ??? #idk what it was but today is just so not it ive been crying a bunch and barely working and i v much needed #my noise cancelling headphones on the train and then i just kept them on for 1 #and then i just kept them on when i got home and ive just been on my bed scrolling and trying to decide dhsjsjdjd #yes i was supposed to work 8 hours today 💀💀💀 #so that's the other part like if i go see my friend i know tomorrow will probably be rougher and i also need to work then yk #ugh anyways i should go we can just chill im sure #* headphone context for myself bc im just like 🤨🤨 am i just kinda sad and tired today or do i really need to rest #anyways. Thoughts? dhsjjdjdjd #other context is that my friend rly isn't doing good at all and i haven't seen her in a week and it's been #even longer since we could talk 1 on 1 #like 2 weeks rip #maybe i just need food tbh ive mostly had sugary stuff today rip

[sylkana]

it's so frustrating constantly hearing autistic being used as an insult like bro... it's 2024. what are you doing

#im not diagnosed but i think i might be autistic so it just. stings. ya know? #but also theres so many other words to use?? why do people always resort to that or the r slur 😭 #sorry if this post is all over the place. basically im sad that people are mean #kenzie.txt

[entropy-sea-system]

While g3 is a lot better about including different body types, I feel like ppl are applauding the bare minimum just bc they made Draculaura's doll have a pear shaped ish body but like. Thats just an average body type?? Sorry but thats not far from the body type of our body and we are not considered fat. The rest of the characters are often simply at least a bit skinnier than whats actually average. I feel like Iris Clops and Tundra Bominable are probably the only humanoid body characters whose bodily types even diverge a bit from the norm?? And I feel like they made Clawdeen in the show (and practically every character ofher than Draculaura) very skinny compared to her live action counterpart.. It feels like media franchises want to be lauded for just having a doll and character with an AVERAGE body type and that being "body diversity" for them. Media in general makes it seem like average is "skinny but not so skinny that your bones show"

#impromptu rant and. Im not fat myself so sorry if Im speaking over fat people #but I have a gripe with ppl acting like including an average body type is so progressive #I feel it detracts from ACTUALLY including fat people in society and representing them in media #when shows are hailed for making a character have an average sized body #thats still basically not even fat #I know that the new drac doll helped some ppl w an ed #but. uh. the norm should not be made “skinny is average and this character whos a little bit bigger is body diversity” #like. Im sorry but all characters and dolls etc. shouldnt be on average made this skinny in the first place #it just promotes the false idea that the “normal” body is very skinny #and I think it functions as “thinspo” without being intended that way #or maybe it is intended. you know how corporations are #g1 mh is even worse bc all of them are stick-thin #like. bro. what. very few ppl look like that wtf..and if they did you would see their bones it wouldnt #be like “average body but just thinner everywhere” it would be like bones poking out #bc thats how bodies look if they actually have that less fat and muscle !! #monster high g3 #mh g3 #mh g3 dolls #fatphobia in media

[pinkanonhopes]

feeling weird rn but its okay. sometimes all you need is a shower.

#ive been feeling very sad and very happy lately???? #my mood is all over the place #idk #now im getting worried #but its probably just the stress #it will get better after this week #now all i need is a good shower and to clean my room #my room is a mess #and ive been in bed all day basically #not good babe you can do better #leo scrive

[deeisace]

..

#sorry sorry I just woke up and im having yesterday-was-weird thought again #and they are going here so i don't have to talk to the person that they're um about yet #basically im glad that im in a good enough space now that um #someone ive ive had text-based sex with and uhhh sent an ill-advised video to in like oct when i was Feeling Bad™ and doing. hm. too much. #like 6 months post text-based sex/ill adised video now aha and we've not spoke at all since like january and that was 'how was hols' #they asked to meet up 'not for sex just as friends' or i forget exact wording but basically that #no-pressure museum not-a-date #and i said I'd think about it. because i am as everyone knows a fucking idiot. #basically im glad that im in a better place now than the last time someone like expressed an interest in me as a person #because while this did give me a day long wobble i didn't have a full weekend long actual panic about it #tho they are two v different situs #an ace poly friend asking to go out with me vs someone i uh virtually fucked aha um asking to meet up for (mostly) being-friends purposes #same several-hours-later 'oh god no what have i done bad bad bad no thank you actually no sorry i cant sorry' but less intense this time #but at least i only said ill think about it? #and not actually immediately said yes because it's nice to feel wanted #and then gone Maximum Regret™ because actually all of this is way too much i don't like it i don't want it thank you but im sorry no #weird. i guess i don't have such a high baseline stress level any more? since i'm not at uni n stuff #and someone over messages going no pressure you want to be irl friends (maybe fwb no pressure)? is um #is different. to someone irl going you want to go out acely? yeah? awesome lets hold hands here is the discord with a whole buncha people #i guess #but i am being equally aro-not-super-ace Autism™ about it aha #and i am. eventually. going to be like. thought about it and no sorry. eventually. #if they ask again #i am kinda hoping they'll leave it there and forget they asked so i don't have to navigate social stuff #im much better at navigating canals everybody leave me alone please thank you #(everybody over there leave me alone. y'know. you guys are fine.)

[dykemerrilll]

was gonna wait til i finished act 2 before posting my nightsong thoughts but actually i want to get my first impressions out to see if they change but…currently i’m pretty disappointed by it because from an rp perspective i literally don’t see a single reason why the pc would let shadowheart kill the nightsong if they weren’t already allied with the absolute.

from a practical perspective your whole aim is to get rid of ketheric’s invulnerability - i guess killing the nightsong might achieve that purpose but to me at least the implication throughout the gauntlet is that if you kill the nightsong as part of the dark justiciar trial she doesn’t actually die. (never mind the fact that aylin seems far too important to both ketheric and shar for her to be sacrificed if an ordinary selûnite would do). obligatory disclaimer that i didn’t let shadowheart kill her so i don’t know what happens in that instance, but that doesn’t really matter in this case because i’m talking about how the choice is presented to you, and to me at least it did not seem like killing aylin would be in any way strategic.

in which case it’s not really a choice because a) practically you are strongly encouraged to let aylin go and b) morally your tav has to justify the murder of a defenceless woman for…what, shadowheart’s career goals? even if you’re romancing shadowheart (which i am) convincing her requires a straightforward persuasion check, the mechanics of which thus far have meant you convince her that your position is correct - there’s not much in the way of lasting relationship consequences in that she won’t get so mad at you she leaves the party because you’ve already convinced her you’re right.

all that is to say that i think this is reflective of bg3’s overall binary attitude towards its major choices - there’s a good route (save the grove, defend isobel, free aylin), and a bad route (destroy the grove, ally with marcus, kill aylin). a lot of those choices compound, as well - other people have talked from actual experience about how allying with minthara will lose you a huge amount of content and allies, thus railroading you into picking a side from both a narrative and gameplay perspective. you’ve a huge amount of freedom in how you go about achieving any of those things - stealth, persuasion, combat etc., but the objectives themselves are pretty static.

so when you then have a companion’s personal quest tied to intrinsically to the plot it negates a huge amount of player choice. thematically, the companion quests are binary because they can either break or perpetuate cycles of abuse - that’s an instance in which binary choices can be very compelling. but the thematic concerns of shadowheart’s very intricate and heartfelt personal quest are totally undercut by the necessities of a pretty straightforward choice. i can’t play a hands-off tav and let this be shadowheart’s decision without to all appearances letting ketheric win. this isn’t a truly grey choice like the decision to sacrifice isolde or go to the circle in dragon age origins. it feels like that’s what bg3 was trying to do here by combining shadowheart’s quest and the main narrative, but because that main narrative is actually relatively inflexible, it just means shadowheart’s quest suffers by comparison.

#bg3 spoilers #bg3 #havent spoken to aylin yet so maybe my thoughts will change #this isnt even getting into the fact that overall i think the apparent motivations of the absolute cultists are completely #all over the place #something obviously worsened by the game’s reliance on chaotic evil races like goblins #ketheric is individually a great character but he doesn’t really tie in to the narrativr at all #yet — obviously he could but like. ive 65 hours in this game alreadg so i would kind of hope to have seen #a little more of my villains’ motivations #by now #this really isnt helped by all your major act 1 villains ending up dead by the end of it #and gortash and orin appearing super late #and the emperor still fucking about #im genuinely very confused by a lot of the main quest and im not stupid. ive played rpgs before #like i just. dont understand. why your player would ally with the goblins in act 1 #ive seen some people come up with truly great rp about that so like. its possible to justify #but i just dont think a game touting itself on freedom #and choice should need that much convoluted character work to justify its basic ‘bad’ choice #ais.bg3

[magnoliamyrrh]

this is gonna sound like a stupid thing to b excited about to anyone else but look at this!! its the southern trees!!! its those trees that you see in any movie or whatnot that's set in that part of america!! ive always wanted to see them and now my parents have :0

#sometimes it dawns on me all over again that america is real #regardless of me being in america for like a dozen years now #sometimes it hits me. like Oh its real real? that place from movies ans shit??? #... i actually think i saw these when i was in florida im pretty sure but i was dissociating so bad that whole trip #and felt so bad that i have only 3 short memories maximum of florida i cant remember shit basically