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whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst · 3 years

Text

Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1

🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶

Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??

Yes.

Wushanju Crew Chat

Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.

Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS

Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.

Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES

Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol

What glittery bead curtain

Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.

What could this mean?

Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?

Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES

Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat

Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU

I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS

BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING

GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS

PANIC AT THE DISCO

Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.

Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.

Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT

SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?

Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES

BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.

Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop

Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.

Wang Pangzi: LOL

Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?

Zhang Qiling: No.

Wu Xie: okay who’s next

Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN

REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM

IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)

Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?

Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.

Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS

BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL

ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS

Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted

Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL

Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off

Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year

He and I go way back

Zhang Qiling: Way back where?

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT

IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS

YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM

Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.

Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY

LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE

Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.

Main Chat

Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival

Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that

Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.

Re: the trip

He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju

Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital

And frankly the hospital hates him too

Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL

I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT

A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE

WOULDNT YOU SAY

XIOAGE

Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?

Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?

Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.

ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED

Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?

Li Cu: uh nope

Unless u count the outdated memes

Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing

Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet

Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really

(I mean maybe? but who knows)

Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age

Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age

Wu Xie: …hey:(

Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.

Wu Xie: ????????

Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck

Unknown Number: …close enough.

Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that

Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck

Are you

Li Cu is underage FYI

So Im staying on this chat

Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that

Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g

u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember

And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat

we have been discussing u

Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!

What a surprise:)

hi so nice to meet you:)

Main Chat:

Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT

FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT

IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS

Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?

Not my problem? Good.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU

HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH

IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE

Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance

has he been collecting on two allowances??

Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?

Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.

Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?

Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)

Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.

another dangerous adventure. again. prick.

Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago

Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago

Li Cu: That isn’t funny.

Unknown Number: …What?

Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.

…I use humor as a coping mechanism?

Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?

Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means

He doesn’t cope, like ever

In fact

It’s kind of why we met

Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh

Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao

Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?

Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why

Main Chat

Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv

Who do we know who spends time in jail

Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process

Also how’s the curtain case coming along

Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?

Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure

Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH

Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat

Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit

u are sus as hell

Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night

I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles

Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved

Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.

Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha

Forget i said anything

Delete this chat even

Li Cu: shit I meant

Legally, biologically, I meant—

shit

…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?

Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!

Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here

lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e

Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff

Wu Xie: uh…okay.

Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail

As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less

I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”

Well maybe the sand

that shit was everywhere

Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.

Li Cu: no, no it’s just

I do technically have a dad

who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.

So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there

Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh

Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right

Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that

Li Cu: ew tmi

Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery

I moved my stuff here, I live here now

So you can’t die anymore

Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned

anyways abt the curtain

Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea

I am in tears.

Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here

Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb

Go hug Pangzi or something

Maybe delete this chat

Or the curtain thing

Focus on the curtain thing

Just stfu and go away

Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3

Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.

Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything

Main Chat

Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*

Wang Pangzi: I MEAN

HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH

BUT SURE

CUTE I GUESS

Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)

Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.

Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE

NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN

DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID

Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid

Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?

Wu Xie: right

Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH

Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.

Unnamed Chat:

Unknown number: so the curtain…

Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know

Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive

Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out

#ultimate note #whomst #wu xie #dmbj #the lost tomb #pingxie #iron triangle

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danteinthedevildom · 3 years

Note

yes! i hate it when people say belphie doesnt care for mc, this is a personal opinion but i feel like even if we werent related to lilith (and somehow we came to life again) he would be close to us, and try. seeing how the people he cares about the most react to someone he thought was just a human dying would probably push him to get to know MC. i know some people also think and argue that beel sees MC as a replacement for lilith too; but i know 100% he doesnt, he hasnt been able to verbally talk about his sisters passing to anyone, i mean almost right after she died belphie was taken away and beel assumed he was in the human world on "buisness", so for beel to openly talk about lilith with us as much as he does it feels special. i know he sees mc as their own person because of how much hes able to share with us, beel talking with mc about his feelings means hes able to finally move on, not to say that he'll forget about her, but he knows hes ready to finally stop beating himself up for it yk? i feel like people were also conflicted about seeing belphie as someone who cares for mc, especially the 180 he does when he finds out we're liliths relative; but belphie has had so much trauma, seeing the person he loved the most die, being separated from his brothers for years and years, etc. he was locked away with his mental illness for a long time, the anger bottled up and he took it out on mc, of course it explains it but it doesnt excuse it, you can still continue to hate belphie idc but i feel like he loves mc more than the other brothers do because of it, its the same thing with beel, mc allowed both of them to cope and talk to them about their sisters passing, yk?

Honestly the whole of Chapter 16 and associated fallout is p. controversial simply bc of it being us that it happens to; the game's written for us to imprint on the MC, and because of that, some scenes - like Belphie's betrayal and his glee at having killed MC - becomes very, very personal. It's very easy after that to become biased against a character, because there's genuine emotional scarring that we're left with as players that the game then just... fails to acknowledge to its fullest. (Which is why we get so many "MC might have forgiven Belphie but I haven't" fics on AO3.)

But to say that Belphie doesn't care for MC is just. Wrong. And I can def. get your annoyance on that!

He didn't care for MC to begin with, yes; MC was a random human he knew nothing about, a ticket to freedom and the first step into enacting revenge for something he's carried with him for millenia. They didn't matter to him outside of that because he never got to see them - or spend actual time with them - outside of the short visits they could afford to update him on their pact progress. That's undeniable.

But to say that he still doesn't ignores the entire point of the Lilith revelation. Being related to her gives Belphie something to connect with MC over. It gives him a reason to overcome his hatred of humanity and to bond with MC in general - which is selfish, yes, and kind of shitty, true, but so much of Belphie's (admittedly misplaced) anger comes from being a survivor of an incredibly one-sided war and (arguably, in his mind) the reason Lilith died to begin with. Because Beel saved him instead of her.

It's not like any of them were ever given a good way to cope with the trauma of the Fall, or Lilith's death. It's not like any of them even knew her actual fate until Chapter 16. Belphie's way of coping was to become apathetic, and to try and place the blame onto something he could take action against.

To him, that meant humanity. Because she fell in love with a human. Because they'd already fought God and lost, so he wasn't going to get closure there - but maybe ending the cause for her death would help the hurt.

He hated humans because of Lilith. In the realm of good story-telling, the best way to end that hatred is likewise through Lilith. Stories are best when they have that cyclical nature to them - especially since it can then transition into Belphie overcoming his trauma (and Lilith's death) through humanity.

So, yeah; it's a selfish reason to get close to someone, to take back the really horrific thing you were going to do, but all of Belphie's anger stemmed from the Fall and what he perceived as her death. Finding out that she didn't actually die? That she became human - became the very thing he wanted to destroy - and lived out a long life? That she had children, and that her family line is still alive in MC? Of course that's going to stop him dead in his tracks. And of course he's going to want to get close to MC, the last remaining fragment of the sister he's dedicated his entire life post-Fall mourning.

Belphie's an incredibly apathetic character by nature. He doesn't care about a lot of things, and everything he cares about is overshadowed by how much he loves Lilith. He needs that connection to get him out of his natural apathy. He cares about Lilith above all else; he'll care about MC at the drop of a dime if they're anything to do with her.

But that's not a bad thing. It means there's an opportunity for him to genuinely get to know who MC is, in a positive light.

It's an opportunity for him to try and make a connection with MC that simply wouldn't have existed otherwise, and through them, to finally, finally put his memory of Lilith to rest. And he does! He gets to know MC, gets to know why Beel adores them so much - outside of just being "Lilith's descendant" - and ends up loving them for who they are.

He puts his hatred of humanity and his single-minded attachment to Lilith behind him, and he still cares for MC. He wouldn't do this if he'd really not formed some sort of bond with them before that point. If he only cared for them because they're a fragment of Lilith, then they'd mean nothing to him once Lilith wasn't such a fervent part of his daily life.

I think the game's just... really bad at showing that, however. You put it really well when you called it a 180, because in all honesty? The game glosses over it much too quickly, and doesn't do a totally good job explaining the logic behind why he'd change his mind so fast.

There's not enough time spent on allowing MC - and the player - to overcome the emotional wreckage of Chapter 16 + fallout. We're not given the chance to process it before Belphie has, to build up a natural relationship with him that transitions slowly from him seeing MC as a Lilith-connection to him seeing them as their own, defined person. It's way too easy to still be emotionally hung up on it while he seems perfectly fine and dandy.

On your bit abt him overcoming it even without the connection to Lilith - I agree tbh! There is a lot Belphie would do for Beel, and I genuinely think seeing how against him Beel is after killing MC, even if they're brought back to life, would ruin him. Belphie being locked up, trying to convince Beel that he was doing the right thing, only for Beel to disagree with him and show genuine anger/disgust, would knock the world from under his feet. If he thought trying to hurt MC would make him lose Beel too - if Beel pleaded with him to just play nice, because he can't choose between them both, not again - he'd likely (albeit begrudgingly) postpone his intended revenge plot.

And he'd try to stay bitter, and for a long time he likely would - but then he'd see how happy Beel is with MC around, and how much it means to Beel that they seem to get along, and how much Beel opens up to them about Lilith, and he'd start to... reconsider. Just a little. Just a bit. Moment by moment, day by day, until he realises that MC isn't a replacement for Lilith, but that they bring something to the table that the brothers have been missing for a long, long time.

Which would afford Belphie the moment of catharsis; where he finally, on a quiet night, opens up about the Fall. How he felt, how angry he is, how helpless. How much he misses her, how the pain and hurt consumes his every thought. And then the player would get the chance to overcome the emotional strain with Belphie, showing him that his anger shouldn't be aimed at humanity when his Father is the one at fault, and Belphie, very quietly, admitting that they're right.

It could work, and work well. It's just a point of finding - and hitting - the right story beats.

On the topic of Beel - honestly, the concept that he sees MC as a replacement for Lilith is just... I personally couldn't imagine it. I can see how someone else could - being her descendant, the attic sandwich club, their little escapade together once Belphie's back in with the family - but that includes seriously misreading/ignoring a lot of Beel's character arc/development.

Beel talks to MC about Lilith and Belphie way before he knows anything about their relation to her. He sees a lot of her in them, yes - he mentions this a few times, I think, in relation to little things they do - but he also sees a lot of what he wants to be in them - which is best seen in their ability to defend both himself and Luke, which be very subtly compares to his own inability to save both Lilith and Belphie.

To Beel, MC stands as something a little idealised. MC is everything good he saw in Lilith (as well as some of the things he loves most about Belphie), and everything he wishes he could have been. MC is a reason to be better, stronger, more capable - both so he can protect them the way they protect others, and so he can feel as if he's on their level.

But that doesn't mean he sees them as a replacement to the people he's lost. It's arguable that he's projecting, sure, I'll admit that; he sees things he misses most of the people he's lost in MC, and I'm sure forming a bond with them helped him cope while he was without Belphie. But MC is still always MC to him. They're always still their own person, and someone he cares for because of that fact.

Beel cares too much about his family to replace them with someone else. Lilith meant too much to him as a person for him to look at MC and actually see Lilith. He misses her, not the idea of her. He feels guilt that he couldn't save her. His trauma revolves almost entirely around the failure of (self imposed) duty and the subsequent loss of life. His Survivor's Guilt is the main reason Beel can't put her memory to rest - because he's constantly haunted by the thought that he could have saved her.

His trauma, the way it is, does not create a setting where he would believably see MC as a replacement for Lilith. He's all too aware that she's gone. He's all too aware that he lost something he can never get back that day. Her memory is special to him, and being unable to talk about her hurts him because that's a bit like killing her off for good.

MC can't replace Lilith, even being Lilith's descendant, and I genuinely can't believe that Beel would even want them to. He's so defensive over Belphie and Lilith, even just over the memory of them; to suggest that MC could replace one of them I feel would anger him more than anything. Not only because it's an insult to Lilith, but because it's an insult to the person MC is. To the person Beel admires.

With just how much he cares about Lilith, I think Beel's enhanced attachment to MC is more the steadfast defence of her lineage to make up for what he couldn't do for her. He still sees MC as their own person, it's just that now... now he has a chance to make up for what he failed at before. And bit by bit, he can learn to forgive himself. Can learn to stop blaming himself for something that was never his fault to begin with.

Belphie and Beel have a special relationship with MC because MC is a direct link to Lilith that helps them overcome their individual Lilith-related traumas. They're naturally going to be closer to MC due to this, yeah, but that's... not the only reason they're close to MC. To try and push down everything they feel and do with MC to "it's only because MC is Lilith's descendant" is to. Well. A) make an incredibly unsatisfying story and character development, but also B) completely ignore that MC helps them bury the memory Lilith. MC helps them move on. Their care and love for MC is what helps them finally let go - to stop living in the past, in hurt, and to finally take a step forward to a future without the weight of Lilith's death constantly burdening them.

Like. If Solmare had just spend a little more time on these two, that might be clearer. Because it's definitely there! And it's why I love Belphie and Beel so, so much. But it's also fully understandable why some players still really dislike Belphie, or why they're not convinced that Belphie/Beel see MC as anything outside of Lilith, bc the game does kind of fail on that a little by rushing a bit too much. Just. Aagh!! You know?

I could honestly go on abt them for hours. So I should prolly stop here before I go on too long adfgh.

#obey me #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #I still have no idea what to tag half of my shit as adfgh

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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years

Note

you talk a lot about magnus and camille dynamic and how they started and all that great meta content that you know i love but here's a question that idk if you ever got: how long do you think they were together? bc i can't think of a specific timeline and personally i love the one you talked abt at some point how she was pretty much right after asmododo or something like that, so he went from one type of abuse into another... but how long was he there? was camille with him for 20 years? 80? 130? any theories?

ugh that's a complicated one because i don't really have an answer for that and i think about it often as well

altho i think you got confused about her being right after asmodeus, i definitely don't think she was. i mentioned it my post about the timeline to say that magnus COULDN'T have been born close to the 1800s because that would make it asmodeus and camille way too close and that can't be the case because it would imply camille is basically the only person he dated before alec doajsdoaj and we know that's not true cuz there's also other ppl like george and etc. it was more a point in favor of "early to mid 1600s" for his birth date

anyway! let's go through this. i mentioned in another post that i think he got together with camille right after george, and that i think george died around the middle of the US civil war, which lasted from 1861 to 1865. so let's say they got together around 1863. now, we have a few pieces of information:

magnus mentioned that he hadn't been with anyone for "almost a century" when talking to alec. i know i think magnus is time blind but he can't be TOO off here. that was in 2016 so that would make their breakup date be a little after 1916 if magnus remembers correctly

literally the only thing about the timeline in that time period that i can remember is that one picture there was in his file of magnus surrounded by girls at a party, which looked to be in the 20s to me. since camille was an abusive asshole probably sabotaging his every chance to meet people, that couldn't have been when they were together. so i'd say 1920 is like, the limit for when they could have broken up. it's up to you whether or not you think magnus would be jumping into his party animal role immediately after the breakup or if it would take some time for him to heal; personally i think both make sense (i think she made a huge number on him so it would make sense for him to take a while to get back to that kind of thing; on the other hand, a lot of people turn straight to being party animals after breaking up abusive relationships, especially because for so long abusers have kept them from doing anything fun. so both work imo) so it's up to you

conclusion: they broke up in 1920 at the latest, so the max you could go for is 80 years, if you go with a timeline where camille was right after george (george can't be after camille because magnus has had no relationships after camille, but there could have been a bigger gap between george and camille than i personally hc). it could still be less tho, because we literally have NO information whatsoever on what happened between 1861 and 1920. even if you go with "they broke up and magnus immediately went full party animal" (which is perfectly valid), it's also entirely possible that this happened in say, 1901 and that pic just happened to be from the 20s, years later. but i also don't think it could have been a lot earlier than 1901 because magnus said almost a century, implying less than a century between the year they broke up and 2016. and while i do think that any immortal would lose track of time after a while and mingle years and decades together, nevermind adhd time blind icon magnus bane, if they had broken up in, say, 1880, magnus would remember that over a century has passed, if anything because so much has changed since then. so i think for him to say that the breakup should have happened in the 20th century at least

so that's the analysis from what we've seen in the show. personal opinion! i think 80 years makes sense, but is a bit much. it makes sense because there does seem to be a pretty obvious gap in magnus' file from the 1860s to the 1920s and then it goes back to having many pictures of him, and that "disappearance" makes sense in the context of him being in an abusive relationship (which limits your interactions and going outs by a lot). it does seem to be a bit much because magnus is at max 400, so, if they had been together 80 years, that would have been 20% of magnus' life spent with camille. or 1/5. added with all the time with asmodeus, it seems to be... a bit much dioadsoaijd and like look i'm not judging, i know abusive relationships can last many years and decades even for mortals, nevermind immortals, but i just don't like the idea of it lasting this long personally, especially because i think it makes him getting with alec seem actually a bit soon considering how long the abusive relationship lasted, and that's ignoring asmodeus' abuse on top of it

so personally, i like it morenif its around 40-50 years. i think it makes sense. it would mean the breakup was sometime around the 1910s, and while, okay, there is a gap in his file that seems to only end in the 20s, we must not forget an important fact: shadowhunters are stupid. so i actually think it makes sense that like, magnus emerges from his abusive relationship and is still getting back on his feet, and shadowhunters just don't care. like who is that guy? oh some warlock, no one's heard of him since like the 1860s lol. whatever happened to him? who cares. anyway, we love racism

and then around a decade later it turns out that magnus is healing enough to be a pain in their ass; say, that is when he becomes HWoB, or simply that they are reminded of how powerful magnus actually is once he is back in activity, and so they go back to like, investigating him and updating his file. so the file gap could be explained in that case. it also actually makes more sense that it would take shadowhunters a while to pay attention to him again, and since magnus was healing from an abusive relationship, the time it would take for him to draw their attention might well be around a decade

and with 40-50 years of an abusive relationship that would mean magnus has spent 10-12% of his life with camille; which is a LOT of time (for comparison: my first abusive relationship lasted a little over a year and i was 16 at the time; that makes it have lasted around 6% of my life at the time, and it did a HUGE number on me, taking me almost 3 years to have a relationship again), but not quite as much as a full 20%. not just that, but him taking "almost a century" (it would actually make it be a little over a century in this timeline, but again, magnus is immortal and time blind, so give him a break) to get with anyone again makes sense. that would be around double the time he's spent with her before he heals enough to be with someone else. that tracks, because abuse fucks you up fast and unfuckening yourself up takes longer. magnus isn't even fully unfucked up (which is okay, he doesn't have to be), but for him to be ready to take such huge steps as he is taking with alec, i think around double the time he's spent with her spent on healing makes sense

(again, i'm mostly going off my own experiences here; my abusive relationship lasted almost a year and a half, my next relationship was almost three years after the breakup. so almost perfectly double the time before i was ready to have another relationship. and again, i know recovery isn't the same for everyone and a lot of factors go into this, but i just think a timeline where he's been with her for 80 years and then gets with alec less than 100 afterwards is a bit too fast)

i still think 40 years is kind of a very long time to be in an abusive relationship and like holy shit i cant even imagine, but also i mean, mortals have abusive relationships that last that long and to an immortal itd feel like less time, and it does seem to be what best fits the timeline, so

and yeah i think those are my thoughts dadsajdsa

LAST MINUTE EDIT BEFORE THIS IS PUBLISHED CUZ IM NOT REDOING THE WHOLE THING: i got an anon today saying that magnus said something about not having seen camille in 130 years (link) which i didnt/dont really remember but i trust that theyre right and im wrong because i dont remember a lot of shit from this show. 130 years before 2016 would be 1886, meaning that if they broke up at that time and got together right after george's death as i personally hc, that's a 20-year relationship. that sounds like it fits the timeline as much as any other to me, and like i said in that ask, i think it makes sense that magnus would play it down to alec by saying "almost a century" instead of how long it's really been cuz it's a bit too vulnerable, and plus, we know one of the ways he protects himself is by not letting people pinpoint exactly some important dates from his past, particularly his birthday and etc

and okay i know that 20 years together, then 130 years recovering is a huge difference, but also i think with twenty years together as opposed to my comparatively short abusive relationship the scars of abuse would deepen a lot and quicker, so maybe it makes sense that it would take a longer time to feel confident enough to get to dating again. plus, like i said, there's no real math to be had in that process, everyone is different, has their own history and recovery process and etc so it's not like there is a deadline. so actually scratch everything i said above im going with this timeline. the one thing that doesn't track with that is the gap in his file but also like i said shadowhunters are stupid, so. yeah 20 years together is probably closer to it

in the end its kind of a relief cuz i was like "holy shit 40 years is so LONG" so... yeah udndidn

#me: i don't really now. also me: gigantic essay with lots of numbers and a relatively narrow time gap as a result #sh #shadowhunters #magnus bane #camille belcourt is an abuser #camille's trash party #magnus bane meta #anti shadowhunters #abuse tw #death tw #mentions of war #meta #ask #some-thrilling-heroics #there is too much math in this post tbh #q #adhd magnus bane #time blind magnus

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jemmydoolz · 4 years

Text

Edgar Has Always Been Kind of a Bitch

hi okay so it's a little after midnight but I'm posting a fic rn bc it's the first fic I've written in like,, a yr and a half and also I'm rlly excited abt it??

anyway battle buddies/fahc jeremwood angst based on ramblings in a gc

(warning for minor assault implications at the beginning, and brief mentions of a suicide attempt at the end)!!!

Fiona and Gavin decide that what Jeremy needs is a night of bevs, and, to put it simply, get wasted, so the crew settles on going to a club that Friday. Jeremy only has one or two drinks, but boy does he get fucked up.

Ryan’s sitting and talking with Geoff and Jack in a booth, sipping a diet coke. He looks over Jack’s shoulder to see Jeremy standing at the bar with a much taller, more intimidating man looming over him. The guy reaches out toward Jeremy, who leans away from the touch. Jeremy nervously laughs and his eyes frantically dart around for someone, anyone who might be able to help him.

“Hello? Earth to Ryan?” Jack waves her hand in front of Ryan’s face.

“Oh, yeah. Yeah. sorry. Hey, um, I’m gonna go home, I’m just not really feeling great,” Ryan murmurs as he slides out of the booth, already heading toward Jeremy.

“Um, alright, I guess? Drive safe,” Jack calls after him.

Ryan speeds up when he sees the man grab Jeremy’s arm. Jeremy’s face flipped through a thousand emotions at once when he saw Ryan approaching, but eventually landed on confused but grateful. He gave Jeremy a look that said just go with what I’m about to say.

“Hey, babe,” Ryan says. The man immediately drops his grip on Jeremy’s arm. Jeremy does his best not to choke on his own spit when he hears the word babe come out of Ryan’s mouth. He hadn’t heard it in so long, and he didn’t think it would still hurt so much.

“Oh, hey!” Jeremy turns to Ryan and reaches up to peck him on the lips. “Where’d Edgar go? It’s his birthday, I figured he would wanna hang out with his friends!”

Fuck. Mentioning something about their friend ‘Edgar’ was always code for I don’t feel good about this, let’s leave. Edgar’s birthday meant I’m having a panic attack, I need your help. Ryan wanted to punch the guy that was practically feeling Jeremy up. No—he wanted to fucking kill that bastard. He and Jeremy may have had a severe falling out, they may have suffered years of heartache and longing, but he still felt responsible to make sure Jeremy was safe.

“He said he kinda wanted to go home. He went to the bathroom while I found you. You, uh, just about ready?” Ryan’s eyes flitted between Jeremy and the other man, who cleared his throat and mumbled something about needing to go find his friends before walking off.

Jeremy and Ryan both sigh in relief once he’s gone.

“Wanna head outside for some fresh air for a minute?” Ryan asks, getting a meek, obviously shaken-up nod in return.

Jeremy says something that Ryan can’t quite hear over the music as they walk outside.

“Hm?”

“Oh, nothing. It was dumb.” Jeremy shakes his head. Ryan has had enough experience to know that it was better to just leave it alone. They both wordlessly come to a stop and lean against the wall of the building a few yards from the door. Almost as if they had been working as partners for years. They spend a few minutes saying nothing, watching people on the street, looking at the stars in the sky. Ryan can’t help but study the intricacies of Jeremy, realizing that so many things have changed, but somehow almost nothing about him is different. Jeremy’s hair is just a tad bit more grown out than it ever was at the agency (also, it’s bright purple and orange, which is not exactly the most appealing color combination, but that’s a topic for another day), but he still runs his hands through it when he’s lost in thought. It’s curlier than it used to be, but maybe that’s just because it’s longer. He still clenches his jaw so hard it seems like he’s going to break his teeth when he’s scared. He still wears a tank top under his shirt, no matter how hot it is outside. His eyes still crinkle at the corners when he lets out a bark of laughter that Ryan still swears up and down sounds exactly like a squeaky toy. He’s changed, though. Ryan can see in his eyes that he’s become aware of reality. He knows the responsibility he carries, the heavy consequences that come with his actions, that death is around the corner at every moment.

“D’you- d’you want me to take you home?” Ryan says barely above a whisper, but loud enough for Jeremy to hear. “You can go back inside if you want, but I know you always used to want to go home and be alone after Edgar shows up.” Jeremy lets out the tiniest breathy chuckle.

“Edgar has always been kind of a bitch, hasn’t he?” Jeremy says as he looks away from the sky to meet Ryan’s gaze, and his heart falls apart all over again for the thousandth time. That fond look of reminiscence and joy was one Ryan donned frequently at the agency. “I- Yeah. yeah. I’d really appreciate a ride home. I’m just a little too drunk to drive, I think.”

“Alright. I parked just down the street. Penthouse or your apartment?” Ryan hadn’t even noticed that Jeremy did seem somewhat tipsy; his Boston accent slipping in occasionally and his words slurring the tiniest bit.

“Um, apartment,” Jeremy says. “D’you rem-”

“Yes, I remember where your apartment is, Jeremy.”

It’s only a few minutes into the drive to the other side of town when Jeremy pipes up. “I honestly didn’t really expect you to help me. I didn’t expect you to remember Edgar, either. I dunno why I said it, I guess just vaguely hoping you would even though it’s been, what, three years?” he pauses for a moment and just takes in Ryan's profile. “I always hope you remember things from then. I know it went to shit, but we still had so much fun. We made so many memories and did so much dumb shit there. But I’m glad that stupid fuckin’ place collapsed. All of it was complete bullshit. I just wish it all fell apart before we did.”

Ryan doesn’t know how to respond. So he doesn’t.

“All those meetings I had to stay late for? Fuckin’ useless. They served no purpose, and I don't know why I was forced to go to them. I feel like the only reason I had to go to those meetings was because someone was hiding something from me. It was obvious that so many things were kept from us.” Jeremy stops for a second to try to will away the lump rising in his throat. “I thought you were cheating on me. For the longest time. I still don’t know whether you actually were. You were always out on ‘special missions’ and shit.”

The moment Ryan hears Jeremy let out a shaky breath his heart breaks.

“Was it me? Was I not good enough? I promise I tried my hardest to be what you needed. I’m sorry if I wasn’t. All I wanted was the best for you, Ryan. Even now, I just want you to be happy. If you're happier with someone else, then that’s what I want. I don’t blame you, though. I don’t deserve someone like you. You deserve so much better than me. I would do anything for you, Rye. We were together for so long. We did everything together! I thought I was gonna marry you. I was saving up money to get a ring. I guess I was too stupid to see that you didn’t want me anymore.”

Ryan looks over to see the tears staining Jeremy’s cheeks reflecting the soft orange glow of the streetlamps. Is this really what Jeremy thinks?

“I was so in love with you, Ryan Haywood. I’m- I’m still in love with you. I love you so goddamn much it hurts sometimes. Every time I see you hurt, upset, angry, anything other than healthy and happy my heart aches. I’m sorry I wasn't enough. I promise I tried. Fuck, I tried so hard.”

With every sob Jeremy lets out, Ryan's heart breaks just a little bit more. The short distance left until Ryan pulls up to Jeremy’s apartment building is spent wordlessly. Jeremy’s clambering out of the car and reaching to grab the door when Ryan speaks.

“Hey, Jer, do you want me to walk you up? I just want to make sure you’re safe.”

“No. I’m fine. I’ll be fine. I’ve already been a pain in your ass tonight, I don't need to waste even more of your time. I’m sorry. I’m sorry about everything.” Jeremy sniffles and wipes his cheeks, giving a half-hearted smile before shutting the door and walking away.

Ryan sits there for a second, unable to process fully what he just heard. He starts driving without even knowing where he was going, and he’s so lost in his thoughts that suddenly he’s sitting in his car in front of the boardwalk along the beach and crying. He can’t believe anything he was just told—there is no way in hell that the brilliant, witty, talented Jeremy Dooley ever doubts his worth. It’s jarring to think that part of it was because of Ryan. He was going on extra missions because the agency was growing more and more demanding. For months they tormented Ryan with the threat of kicking out Jeremy. They said they’d do other things to him that Ryan doesn’t want to remember. Why did Jeremy never bring it up? Why did he just accept that Ryan had ‘moved on?’ Their lives were so intertwined with one another that Ryan never felt truly whole again. The only reason Ryan went with the break up was that he saw how distant and cold Jeremy had gotten. Ryan had assumed that, for whatever reason, Jeremy had changed his mind. He hated it, he was devastated, but he didn't know how to fix it.

Ryan decides he doesn’t want to go back to the penthouse tonight. He pulls up to the nearest crew safehouse, and suddenly things click.

Jeremy had always struggled with bad self-image and depression. He had gone to Ryan for comfort, which he was always more than willing to give. Jeremy was doing better. At least he told Ryan he was.

Jack had mentioned a while ago that when Jeremy first joined the crew, she had found him after a suicide attempt and barely left his side until he recovered. The only reason for it Jack had told Ryan about was ‘emotional trauma from a past relationship, that he didn’t really want to talk about.’

Ryan did that to him.

Ryan made the love of his life want to die.

The pieces left of his heart fall into more shards than there are grains of sand in this world.

He collapses onto the couch inside, too exhausted to even get to the bed. He knows he’s not going to be able to sleep, though.

To: Geoff

Dropped Jeremy off at his place, he was pretty drunk though so check on him please

To: Geoff

I’m staying at kung fu safehouse for the night

#my fic #holy fuck #i did that !!!#thats a whole ass 1874 words babeyyy!!!!!#fahc #fahc ryan #fahc jeremy #fahc au #angst #battle buddies #fake ah ryan #fake ah jeremy #fake ah crew #fake ah au #minor suicide mention #suicide mention tw #ragehappy

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spirit-shroud · 3 years

Text

i replayed kz again tonight and managed to beat it in 4 hrs instead of 11 !!! which is rly cool imo, i think i got a max of like 50 deaths or less for the full run ??? i was just playing regularly but usin the prism blade for the cool blood effects, not in speedrun mode for the counter, and i managed 2 drag my friend into hyperfixation hell with me :} but also i have some thoughts and opinions im not rly sure how to compile in a meaningful way, so here’s the like. pure brain-down-on-blog post version under the cut. if this gets auto-tagged into the real actual tag for this game im very sorry for my hubris im just. thinking emoji

so id like to start this with the final boss makes me SO sad :( like yeah she doesnt have much dialogue but idk she just makes me so sad. she’s so desperate and she Knows shes going to lose and im just like. no!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you’re so cool!!!!!!! Please Be My Friend We Can Work Together. I Know A Guy :c like usually final bosses are like weirdly emotional for me but she was just SO COOL and realizing like WAIT THIS BOSS OPERATES UNDER THE SAME RULES I DO was just like WOW even if as i kept dying (and i think i spent like... 3 hrs on the final boss alone lmao the first time, i killed her on my third attempt this run which was very cool of me) i finally realized that she IS pretty repetitive and got all her patterns n variables down super easy, but like, fighting another null who Should for all intents and purposes be just as absurd and powerful as i am, and eventually being able to down her effortlessly, and then the withdrawal affects of the chronos kicking in as well, and its just like. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

dont even get me STARTED on that ‘to be continued’ like yeah there’s a dlc comin but the game mentions repeatedly that its just the first act which has me like OKAY. SPECULATION TIME (what am i speculating on? literally no idea im not even rly at the speculation phase im still in the WOW COOL VIDEO GAME phase)

and i rly like the dragon/fifteen but the first time i saw him i was just like. who’s this f*llmetal alchemist looking bitch ??? what’s he doin here?? go HOME and controlling him is AWFUL i hate the dragon tape so MUCH >:C but also he’s like. cool. i want to know more about him n his plot 2 take down Juncture n the government n whatever.

but also i was listen 2 Full Confession bc it’s just. what the heart wants rn. i need to be sad and caffeinated in order to get into the Writing Zone rn and then i was THINKIN like my friend mentioned while we were playing the dragon tape that the song that plays is very similar to Full Confession (which i had sent him earlier while i was losing my mind over the final boss) and then i was like. Hm. these are very similar but have such wildly different moods -- Breath of the Serpent is much more like. ‘you’re going to be afraid of me’ while Full Confession is like ‘i’m afraid of you’ and i think that the different Vibes from these two soundtrack bits about important Null characters is just like. WOW and i wonder how a version of it that was purely Zero’s might be. would it be more triumphant? more flat? what desperation or emptiness is in there that could be drawn out by this melody??? i dont KNOW and i can’t write music unfortunately but im just like AAAAAAAAAA

i also rly wanna know what snow has going on ??? like. shes clearly important. she is a vital npc. but Why. she didnt even rly do anything except Show Up???

fuck V. all my homies hate V. the motorcycle fight was a lot of fun tho i rly liked that section even if my therapist was mad at me afterwards

also i think elizabeth/the little girl is rly cute and the fact zero was just like. ‘hm. well guess i have a daughter now’ so fast w/ her (at least, with the dialogue trees me n my pal kept going down) and im just. So Hoping we can rescue her in the dlc :( i miss her so much and im so like. worried abt that like pls give me back my daughter you dumbasses i cant even read ur dialogue without my brain being like ‘yeah these r just squiggly lines, boss. gl’

i also want to believe that the masked men arent real (bc idk, it’s just easier for me to process that they’re the result of chronos withdrawal) but the problem w/ that is like. they definitely kidnapped elizabeth, and i want so desperately to believe that elizabeth IS real n that zero genuinely wants to protect her (and by extension, the part of himself that is still human)

ALSO THE PSYCHIATRIST i was just like. Okay. I Must Get A Good Grade In Therapy. n kept being nice n cooperative and helpful to this clown ass and then THAT ENDING ??? like i didnt even get the Bad Therapist Ending i was just like. fucka you! attacka you with a rock! (i do however want to try the therapist boss it sounds like a lot of fun) but i just. i hate him! he sucks! find a better therapist zero u rly need one im sorry for ur problems disorder :( like hes clearly a guy who just works for the government n wants 2 keep a leash on our man

n the contradictions, hes like. yeah ur killing everyone related to chronos so it can no longer be produced ♥ but dw ur special we totally wont just withhold chronos from you as soon as u finish ur tasks dw about it ♥ and its like. Hm. I Dont Think Thats Right !!!!

also i wanna learn more about what Juncture has going on??? what are they like. Doing besides poisoning water n making lighters ?????? it’s clearly a lot

also the art for this game is just so GOOD,,, like. i didnt rly notice a lot of the backgrounds my first playthrough bc i was just losing my mind the whole time trying to solve each puzzle but the second playthrough im just like. AAAAA. and the soundtrack? effervescent. groundbreaking. perfect. So Good

and the GAMEPLAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my GOD i was SO vibing with it, the difficulty curve was kinda extreme imo but as soon as i started like. Getting It? and started looking at each room less like combat/fighting and more like a puzzle that needed to be solved it made it so much easier 2 get into the headphase of ‘okay how do i clear this’ and it was just like. YOOOOOOOO

and zero is just a lot of fun 2 play as. legitimately everything about him is just so ridiculous. his dialogue options? ridiculous. his design? absurd. the implications that hes like. 22 and just having the worst 10 days of his life? mood, buddy. this guy likes samurai movies and card games and mushroom pizza and has worn the same outfit every single day for who knows how long and hes also a war veteran, an emotionless serial killer and a drug addict. and hes 22 and 5′10. literally NOTHING about those traits make sense together but here he is, just Vibing.

i love him so much. im going to make a self insert oc that’s just giving him a friend who knows how to cook n is just like ‘oh wow, that’s rough buddy’ when hes like ‘i only feel alive when i kill people’ and conveniently knows how 2 get bloodstains out of things bc i think he needs that kind of person in his life since his like. therapist is conspiring against him n he keeps having 2 kill his friends

also, unfortunately, i want to get every achievement, which i feel like is going to become hld....2!! where i get all but 1 of them and am stuck at 96% for 2+ years >:T

#kc chirps #hello gamers i am vibrating! very vibrating. losing my marbles at this 420am on a thursday

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7hyuns · 5 years

Text

passions and intellect (2)

jaehyun x reader

word count; 6.2k babey

warnings; mafia au bc we love that ig, smut, choking, slight angst (?) maybe, blood mention but it’s very passing, mYsTeRy, will i ever be able to write proper endings? no!

songs; west coast - lana del rey, you must be a natural - the handmaiden soundtrack

a/n; well well well, look which writer finally wrote a proper full length Okay fic. it’s been a long time and we are ready 2 go once again :) i’m not sure abt this one but i :/// really hope it’s ok

The space beside you on the bed was still empty and cold when you woke up. You weren’t entirely sure what time it was, or how much time had passed since you’d first trudged your way to your bedroom for the night. You didn’t think it could have been too long, the room still covered in darkness despite the crack in the curtains, the lack of a light shining through the hallway telling you the likelihood of Jaehyun being home yet was low. You debated moving, getting up from the bed and seeking something to do while you waited, but knowing that it had been late when you’d finally caved in to go to bed made you decide it was probably best to stay put. The warm sheets curled around you and the softness of the mattress below you did nothing but cement the idea that you should just stay in your bed instead of trying to find a way to entertain yourself.

It was strange. This was only the first time you’d found yourself in the bed alone, and you hadn’t fully comprehended yet that this was something you were going to eventually have to get used to. The room seemed far colder when there wasn’t an arm draped around your waist, and it felt impossibly difficult for you to imagine yourself back in the same position you were living comfortably in just a week ago. A week, you had begun to decide, could truly change a lot in a person’s life. Or maybe you were beginning to decide that making sudden and massive life decisions that change most aspects of your life in a single week was the thing that had shifted your own life.

That small thought seemed to be the thing that had declared itself to be worthy of sitting at the forefront of your mind, demanding more and more of your attention as you huffed and turned onto your other side. Your body was now fully facing the wall that held the window, and through the darkness your eyes adjusted to see the items of furniture surrounding you in vague shapes. Seeing the room without the light shining down to show the details of all these items felt oddly eerie, and out of place in the safety you’d searched for since arriving at your, you supposed, new home.

It wasn’t that you felt unsafe necessarily, because most of the time, you were strangely able to completely ignore the context in which you’d both followed Jaehyun back to his home and quit your own job to do so. But when the house was empty except for you and the sky outside darkened considerably, you couldn’t help but find yourself thinking anxiously back to the night you’d spent in the back room of the club with him – how your heart had felt like it was beating too fast for you to understand, how your head had felt like it was spinning, how softly Jaehyun had spoken to you when he’d noticed the fear in your eyes.

You sat up, rubbing at your eyes and sighing deeply. You’d found yourself doing this in the short glimpses of moments where you’d been all alone, your mind twisting and turning as you tried to figure out whether this was ever going to look anything like a good decision on your part. Swinging your legs over the side of the bed, you huffed in irritation with yourself for being unable to push this to the back of your mind, standing up and heading over to the door of your bedroom. Gripping the handle roughly, you yanked it open to reveal the darkness of the hallway, the sight making you hesitate in a childish worry for what could be hidden there.

Breathing in sharply, you stepped out into the hall, running your fingertips along the smooth texture of the blank walls in order to find the light-switch that you knew rested somewhere to your left. You flicked the switch down to show the hall in greater lighting as soon as your hand found it, your eyes scrunching closed as you struggled to get used to the sudden shock of the bulb going bright. Almost finding yourself groaning in discomfort, you dragged your feet a couple more steps, until your toes were dangling above the cut of air between the landing and the first step on your way downstairs. You dropped your hand to rest on the bannister, taking a quick peak downstairs to check that everything was still where you had left it when you’d gone to bed, before beginning to take the step downwards.

Just as your foot met the top stair, you heard the loud jolt of a noise where the front door was being flung open. Impulse made you yank yourself backwards, almost tripping over your feet in your desperately quick attempt to be out of view to the people walking in. Some shallowly buried curiosity told you that you shouldn’t go back to your room just yet, that you shouldn’t slam the door shut to keep yourself out of hearing range, that you shouldn’t pretend you’d been sleeping until you absolutely had to.

This curiosity won, easily, within you. Dropping to sit on your legs that folded beneath you, you ducked behind the wall closest to the start of the railings on the landing, keeping your body tucked away into the security of the hidden space. The carpet felt more uncomfortable underneath you than you had first assumed it would, and you found yourself shuffling to find a more comfortable position until you heard a voice begin to speak. You cut your movements short, assured that if you kept adjusting somebody would either hear you, or you wouldn’t be able to hear them.

Unmistakably, the voice was Jaehyun, although he was speaking quietly and evenly in a way you could barely make out what he was saying. Leaning yourself just past the cover of the wall, you attempted to hear what it was that he was talking about, and how many other people there was inside the house with him. You’d drawn a blank, however, still unable to pick out noticeable words from the volume of his voice, and you wanted to slump back against the wall and give up already. The position you’d currently found yourself in made you feel ultimately like a child: legs tangled up underneath your body, your mind wishing you had an empty glass to press to the floor of the landing to help you listen through the floorboards.

“I understand,” you heard a different voice respond to whatever it had been that Jaehyun had previously said, his voice much less filtered and leaving his mouth in a confident and rather loud manner. This peaked your interest, and you found your mouth falling open and your eyebrows furrowing as you focused entirely on being able to hear what the conversation was about.

You heard another flurry of conversation from Jaehyun, still finding yourself completely unable to hear specific words or enough words that would give you any kind of insight as to what he was saying. “What does he want us to do about that?” You heard a female voice ask, driving your curiosity up another notch. A part of you already knew to presume the, ‘he,’ was whoever Jaehyun’s boss was – not that he’d ever given you a name to refer to that person as.

Listening in to the short snippets of conversation between Jaehyun and some of the people he worked with made you think even harder about how catastrophic of a decision this could have been. You decided, in order to get the most out of listening to the conversation going on downstairs, you were just going to have to push the entire thought process about what you should or could have done differently to the back of your mind. Things seemed to have gone entirely silent for a few moments, and you felt yourself tense as you imagined the chances of somebody having heard a slight movement that you’d made.

“He hasn’t given a direct instruction yet,” you finally heard Jaehyun’s voice loud enough to be clear for you to hear. His lack of response for a few moments leading to such a simple statement caused both a rush of disappointment and suspicion to move through you. You wondered if, by some strange coincidence or odd secret talent, Jaehyun had seen or simply known you were listening in. The likelihood of that seemed low, though, you reassured yourself, because you couldn’t be seen and you were sure you’d been next to dead silent.

You tilted yourself closer to the edge of the wall, hearing a soft murmur of voices before the sound of the doors to the only room in the house you hadn’t been in yet were pulled open, and you counted the few seconds between that noise and the resounding sound of the doors being slammed shut. Sighing in drawn out disappointment with yourself – whether that was for the fact that you’d most likely been discovered despite your attempts to stay hidden, or because you had even thought listening in on a conversation about Jaehyun’s work was a good idea in the first place, you didn’t know – you rose to your feet.

Letting the annoyance spin and turn within you, you hoped without rationality that it would just turn into tiredness, and would help you sleep for the rest of the night without any more interruptions. Recently, though, it seemed that even the mention of being rational was enough to set your mind into berating you, into explaining exactly why it is that you can never again be deemed a rational person in any shape or form. Falling back on your bed, you realised just how long of night this was setting itself up to be, your eyes fluttering closed despite your brains protest to the action. Something inside of you was insistent on being awake, on getting away from stillness of the bedroom and being as far as you possibly could be from the house for the night.

Balling your fists up tightly, you dug your nails into your palms, hoping it would remind you that this was just one night. After tonight, or maybe even after another little while, you’d come to forget this feeling, this pit of helplessness and mixed feelings in your stomach. Your hands slipped over the mattress underneath you, searching for the material of the duvet, a sigh of relief passing your chapped lips as you finally found it. Bringing your knees up to rest against your chest, you pulled the duvet further up the bed, tucking your legs underneath you as you spread your body out again, turning with your back to the door as you did so. You hadn’t re-opened your eyes through completely these actions, the warmth of the sheets curled around you giving you that sense of security, making you forget whether you knew it to be false or not.

Just as you were reaching that in-between stage of consciousness and complete sleep, you heard a series of loud and far too sudden for your liking noises. Keeping your eyes tightly shut, you let your body tense in its natural reaction to its presumption of danger, before you began to remind yourself that this more than likely meant nothing. Footsteps that were heading towards a newer sound of a front door being opened and left that way for a few beats before it was promptly slammed shut again, met your ears. Your body had been fully awoken by its own reaction to these sounds, although some part of you refused entirely to make any movement. Whether this was your own conscious decision or a reaction you had no real choice in, you didn’t want to waste your energy thinking about. The sound of someone making their way up the stairs wasn’t a noise you were unused to. Going up and down a flight of stairs was, as you were just now thinking of, a world-wide experience. Often, you couldn’t tell who was walking the stairs simply by listening to the sound of their footsteps, and that seemed to all of a sudden be the biggest issue in your life as it had currently passed.

The door to your shared bedroom with Jaehyun – the passing thought of him making more concern bubble within you, for him or for the current situation you were finding yourself in, you could never know – was swung open. A vague rush of panic moved through you, your body tightening its muscles as you prepared for whatever would happen next. The sound of footsteps had come to a stop, the room falling back into silence as you waited in a tense moment for something more to happen.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were pretending to be asleep,” you heard a voice you recognised too-well mumble into the silent atmosphere. Knowing it was only Jaehyun dropped your anxiety levels back down, but still the un-shifting weight of the questions you were keeping trapped behind your closed mouth was prevalent.

Cracking your eyes open, you slipped your elbows to press against the mattress and supported yourself to push into a sitting position, letting the fall beside you afterwards. Looking over at Jaehyun, you struggled to make out his outfit in the dull light pouring in from the hallway. “Maybe you woke me up,” you retorted gently, avoiding the subject that hung in the air around you.

The look on his face told you already that he must have somehow noticed you were listening in, and the knowledge that he always seemed to find himself one-step ahead of you caused a small nag of irritation to make its way into your head. However, he did nothing but shrug his shoulders at you lightly in response, “What were you up to?”

His inquiry made another rush of suspicion move through you, similar to earlier but now entirely directed at him. You were sure he was just waiting for you to give him some form of confirmation that you’d been eavesdropping, but you couldn’t give him the satisfaction of having talked you into confessing. Again, the entire set-up around you felt strange, out of place, like it should be incorrect but it was never incorrect enough to cause you to want anything different.

“Trying to sleep,” you defended, turning your body to face his as he tugged his the leather material of his black gloves off his hands, not dropping them onto the surface of the desk in the corner of the room as he usually would, instead keeping them in his hands as he looked over at you.

Jaehyun hummed in response, “You were? Because I couldn’t help but notice the light in the hall’s been on since I got home.” His response, or more so his observation of the one thing you’d thought nothing of, caught you off-guard. You had no excuse for it, maybe if your face hadn’t spun into the guiltiest expression possible you could have smoothly danced around it, told him you’d just forgotten to turn it off before falling asleep and made him believe that maybe he’d just overthought something.

But you hadn’t, and Jaehyun had noted that you remained quiet as he turned his gloves inside out, placing them gently down onto the wood top of the desk. “How much did you hear?” He prompted you, his voice having softened down in its usual way of telling you he wasn’t in any sort of bad mood. You found the suggestion that he wouldn’t be at least slightly angry with you over possibly upsetting his, ‘business partners,’ to be a little far-fetched, but you couldn’t just give him the silent-treatment for no viable reason.

“Not much,” you mumbled, only now feeling that shame for listening in on a conversation you weren’t supposed to hear in any way. Glancing up to meet his eyes, you saw the slight glint of disbelief in his brown orbs, and found yourself looking for a way to justify your answer. But how do you prove that you hadn’t heard something? There’s no way to give solid evidence on such a trivial thing. “You, uh, talk too quietly, I couldn’t hear.”

A breathy laugh passed his lips, his eyes dropping away from yours as he kicked his shoes off, letting them land wherever they chose to. He nodded a little, reaching to grab the hem of his shirt and tug it over his head before he spoke again. “What about what other people said? Did you hear any of that?”

At this, you shrugged, shutting your eyes in sleep-deprived irritation, “Honestly, I didn’t understand any of it anyway, so it doesn’t matter.” You wanted to get up, you wanted to walk out of the room, all the way to the bottom of the stair-case and out of the front door. After that, you weren’t sure where you’d go, which direction you’d turn in, where you’d be heading, especially not when you were pretty certain you wouldn’t get more than half an hour away before you wanted to curl up in bed again. Even if you did do that, where would that leave Jaehyun? And on that topic, was being away from Jaehyun really the thing you wanted, or did you just want a space where you didn’t feel as though you had to think?

Looking back at Jaehyun, he had his head tilted at you in wonderance, as if he was observing you for an answer to a question he wasn’t letting you in on. It wasn’t a lack of confidence or even a surge of nerves that stopped you from interrupting his thinking, that stopped you from pushing him into telling you what was going on in his head. The sheer desire to get away from the same building you’d found yourself following the same routine for seven days was beginning to take up most, if not all, of your thinking power.

“Does that bother you?” You heard his voice inquire, your head snapping back over to look at him as you pondered over it for a moment, “does not knowing everything bother you?”

His addition to the question made you immediately start shaking your head, “I don’t want to know everything, I just,” you paused, letting your eyes shift away from holding his gaze, “I don’t want to feel like I’m purposefully being excluded from knowing the things you know.”

At this, his head tipped at you again, his eyes holding a pushed back curiosity that must have matched yours almost perfectly from earlier. “Why?” He asked, making the question seem like he was genuinely confused as to what circumstances had lead to you not wanting to feel like you had been locked out of multiple conversations for reasons you couldn’t understand yet.

“Not knowing makes me feel…” you paused, unsure of how to explain a natural concept to someone who was looking at it as if it was an entirely alien one to them, “it makes me feel like you have something to hide.”

A small scoff left his lips, his eyebrows furrowing again, “I can’t just, tell you everything. I thought you already knew that.”

His response, while entirely true in the last remaining rational part of your brain, made a childish need to throw your head back and whine rise up within you. You grimaced, heaving a drawn out sigh as you let your eyes finally glance him over, attempting to chastise yourself for checking him out in a moment like this. Getting back to catching his eye contact, you smiled softly, “I wouldn’t tell anyone, if you told me stuff,” you hummed, giving into the childlike need to know anything about everything.

He chuckled softly, finally sitting on the edge of the bed, pushing hair back off of his face as he looked back at you, “I know,” he confirmed quietly, reaching over to grab onto your hands lazily, and you found yourself moving close enough to him to feel the heat radiating off of him. “But it’s not because I don’t already know that, hm? I want you to be safe.”

You groaned in irritation, playing it up so he’d think it was completely fake, adjusting your position so you could be sat on his lap. Your hand groped out behind you, a small hiss leaving your lips as you accidentally caught it on the bed-side table, Jaehyun’s eyebrows raising at you, his hand knocking yours away as he flicked the lamp on the table on. This new wash of warm orange light over the room let you finally see him in full detail, and you couldn’t help but note the small collection of minuscule red flecks on his jawline. Giving him a quick glance over, you couldn’t see any injuries on him, or no fresh ones anyway.

Since that night fumbling around with him in the dark red light of the club, you’d come to notice he had a fair collection of bruises and scars marking up his body, although he constantly told you not to waste your time worrying over them. Of course, no matter how much he assured you, you still found yourself feeling the same concern you’d feel for him if you didn’t know what he did for a living. You’d always find yourself thinking back to a stupid quote you’d seen somewhere once, about how secrets could kill you, and it always made fresh bursts of both a sick curiosity and a deeply-rooted concern move through you.

Jaehyun’s hand came to cup your chin, making you look back at his face instead of keeping your eyes trained on the marks on his bare chest. The shirt of his you’d slipped over your head earlier in the day seemed to be too overbearing, a surge of heat moving through you as you felt his arms wind around your waist. “Stop overthinking things,” he mumbled, pressing a fleeting kiss to your neck as you dropped your head to rest against his shoulder. His statement was well and good for someone with his ability to just do that on command, but you weren’t like him at all in that respect.

“I want to,” you grumbled back, shifting to find a different position against his lap as he continued to press the tiniest of kisses to the skin of your neck.

Jaehyun’s arms tightened around you, bringing you impossibly closer to his chest, “Then why don’t you?” He asked, pulling away from the crook of your neck, inadvertently making you do the same so you were looking at one another. His face seemed so close to yours in the moment, like if you just leant forward for barely a centimetre, you could press your lips against his.

Your brain finally computed his words, a sigh leaving you as you tried to comprehend why he didn’t understand that most people couldn’t just stop thinking whenever they felt it necessary to do so. “I can’t just, turn my brain off,” you retaliated, letting the slight bubble of annoyance seep through into your words.

Jaehyun hummed, attempting to think seriously of a way around something he was beginning to perceive as a form of obstacle. “Go back to sleep, hm? You won’t have to think then,” he began, already shifting to place you back in your original spot on the bed.

Tightening your hold on him, you whined, shaking your head at him, your lips accidentally nudging against his own as you laughed lightly. “Can I have a kiss?” You asked quietly after a moment had passed, eyes focusing back on Jaehyun’s as he rolled his eyes at you in response.

“You need to ask?” He teased, closing the gap between the two of you. For the most passing of moments as his lips touched yours, you could have convinced yourself that nothing had changed, or that nothing negative could ever or had ever happened. It was almost as if you felt that if you could just keep your eyes firmly closed, you could still hear the phantom sound of the song he’d played that night, you could still feel every single thing he’d made you feel that night. But, you supposed, if you mentally travelled back to that night, you’d have to hear all those other, unplaced noises, too.

You decided instead to attempt to grasp some of the control hanging in the balance between the two of you, speeding your lips up against his as he groaned softly into your mouth. His hands had moved to properly grip your hips, holding you still despite your inclination to grind down against him. The pace set for you both was heated, and just as it had previously, the shirt felt more constricting surrounding you than it had earlier. The only cooling for this sensation was the feeling of Jaehyun’s hands slipping past the edge of the fabric, sliding up until they met the bare skin of your hips, continuing their action of holding them in place.

Letting his lips slip away from your own, you dropped your head back to give him more access to the skin of your neck, feeling his mouth harshly already beginning to create marks there. A quiet moan bubbled past your lips, your hips struggling against the strength of his hands keeping them in place. You found yourself out of breath, but you couldn’t find a cohesive thought to tell you why, instead you just found your mouth falling open until you dropped your head forward to seek for his mouth to press against your own again.

It felt like everything was moving too slow, your body craving things to speed up despite his seeming protest to this, his lips pressing back to yours in a slow manner, even softer than you had ever expected them to get. You felt his tongue brush over your bottom lip as it slipped into your mouth, naturally implementing itself as the dominant one as you found your hands tangling in his hair.

Finally finding the clarity to move your mouth away from his, you began to trail kisses down his neck, relishing in the familiar way he grunted in response. His hold on your hips suddenly tightened considerably, your positions changing so fast you could’ve sworn he was trying to give you whiplash. His body now hovered above your own, one of his legs nudging your own apart so he could have easier access to slip his body to rest lightly there. Your lips were now left to the cold air as his own travelled back down their previous path of the expanse of your neck, his hands coming to grip the hem of his shirt that you were still, much to your disagreement, wearing. The discomfort and irritation for the feeling of the shirt still bunched against your skin lasted hardly a second, Jaehyun pushing the fabric the rest of the way until it was off over your head, your eyes observing as he threw the ball of material somewhere behind him.

Your mind was too clouded to comprehend or remember that you were now completely bare in front of him, not that being that way for him was ever or was beginning to turn into something unusual in your day-to-day life. His lips brought you further back into the moment, the feeling of them trailing further down your chest making a series of moans leave your mouth on a nearly unstoppable loop. For a moment you wondered if your volume when he was still doing so little should embarrass you, but you concluded fairly quickly that it wasn’t going to be something that would cause him any form of disturbance. After he seemingly grew bored with the torturously long amount of time he’d spent mouthing over your chest enough to leave a collection of marks you’d be blessed to discover again later, he moved further down your body, picking up the slightest amount of speed.

His fingers hooked around the sides of your underwear, taunting you as he caught your eyes, pulling them down as slowly as he could possibly make his hands move. The caution and calculation behind his actions made you wonder if he felt the same pit of need grow within him, if he wanted the same thing as you did in the same quantity, or if this was an easy thing for him to slow down a crawling pace.

Whining softly, you let your hands fall on-top of his, lifting your body slightly as you did, pushing against them as he laughed at your desperation. Huffing, you adjusted your legs to make it easier for him to mercifully pull your underwear completely off, again moving to throw them somewhere you’d find yourself searching for them later. Spreading your legs further apart for him, he seemed to discount his previous teasing, easing himself closer to you before his mouth attached to you immediately. A sharp moan left you, your head dropping back into the sheets beneath you, your hips bucking up of their own accord before Jaehyun slipped an arm across you to push them back down onto the mattress.

His actions didn’t give way at all, retaining their speed and aggression until you could physically feel the coil within you begin to sharpen, as if you were about to feel it snap and have the expected wave of pleasure crash over you. Just as you could almost taste the sensation, his lips pulled away from your core completely, and you could sense the feeling fade all too quick. Groaning in vexation, you snapped your eyes open, adjusting to sit up on your elbows and glare down at Jaehyun, who was already grinning at you as his lips began leaving fluttering kisses against the skin of your thighs.

Tipping your head at him, you snaked a hand down to where his forearm still held your hips down, shoving it away roughly as you ghosted your hand impossibly close to your core. Not dropping the eye contact, you watched as he rose his eyebrows at you, not sparing your hand a glance as it debated its next movement. “If you don’t wanna finish me off, I’ll do it myself.” You answered his silent question, feeling him swat your hand away after you finished speaking.

“You know you can’t make it feel as good as I can,” he retorted, his fingertips skimming over the opening of your core as his lips drew closer and closer to where you wanted them to return to most.

You hummed, “No,” adjusting your hips to gain a further closeness of his fingers, he grunted, pulling his hand further away from your attempts, “but it’d get the job done faster, wouldn’t it?”

Jaehyun evidently bit back his laugh, his lips remaining turned upwards in the ghost of a grin before he finally slipped his fingers inside you, earning a moan of contentment in response from you. “We’ll have to check that theory sometime, huh, babygirl?” He bit back, grinning as you made no attempt to swipe back at him, simply nodding at him, unaware of what he’d actually said.

Feeling yourself grow closer to the edge again, you found yourself hoping and wishing that he’d let you have it this time. The frustration built up within you didn’t want anything else in the moment, and even if you’d never admit it to anyone later, you found yourself giving in, letting yourself indulge his want to hear you beg for him to give you what he was so capable of in that precise minute.

He traded in the use of his fingers for moving his mouth back to your core, only a few seconds before you felt the coil in your stomach tighten and then begin to unravel. You let yourself bask in the ecstasy that the feeling brought you for a minute, your chest heaving up and down to catch air you didn’t remember losing. His body have moved to hover over your own, only to your slight surprise once you’d finally tugged yourself back into the moment, your lips pouting outwards in a childish desperate request for another kiss.

The grin didn’t leave his lips until it had to, the kiss moving far slower than before, his hands moving from their place of cupping your face to pushing his underwear down the rest of his legs. You tried to figure out at which he’d found the time to undo his jeans and push them off, but you couldn’t quite create a comprehensive timeline when he was close enough to you for you to feel the heat radiating off of him again. His lips hesitantly pulled away from yours, although he didn’t move fully away from you for a moment, seemingly unable to force himself far enough from your touch to do anything else. Laughing breathily, you craned your neck to the side, leaving him obvious space open for him to press more kisses against your skin.

Jaehyun scoffed teasingly, dropping to your neck and leaving the smallest kisses possible there, his new positioning allowing you another view of the red flecks of something you were failingly trying to not place, against his jawline. You curled your hand onto the other side of his jaw, pulling him rather roughly back to your lips, slamming your mouth to his and hoping the heat stirring between the both of you would be enough to push the image out of your mind completely, or at the very least to the back of it.

Without detaching his mouth from yours, he slid himself inside of you. Your mouth fell away from his as a gasp tumbled through your lips, whether it was in surprise or relief you didn’t care. Letting your head drop fully backwards, you relished in the way his mouth immediately attached itself to your throat, only finally leaving as his hand curled in its place instead.

The feeling of his hand snaking its way to push against the sides lightly, just enough to let you know the sensation was only happening purely because he knew how much you basked in knowing you could trust him enough to give it to you, made you moan even louder. The small grunts he released let you vaguely keep track of how close he was getting, if you could get your mind to focus on anything other than your high that was approaching faster – or had it just been longer than you had realised? – than usual.

Your attempt to let Jaehyun know you were getting close grew caught up, turning into just another moan of his name as his hips snapped against yours harder than they had been before. The coil in your stomach tightened sharply for the second time that night, Jaehyun’s hips that faltered every so often now against your own telling you that he was growing too close to keep to a steady rhythm.

With a strung together stream of his name falling from your mouth, the coil in your stomach came undone again, your head dropping forward to land against Jaehyun’s shoulder, his hips jutting against yours a few more times before he evidently hit his high too. He rode out the feeling, whether he was doing that purely for himself or for the both of you, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care, until small jolts of overstimulation began to move through you.

Jaehyun moved from above you, immediately pulling himself to sit at the edge of the bed. This response, instead of his usual action of falling to lay beside you until you’d drop your head to rest against his chest, made confusion move within you. Now, though, in the brighter lighting, you could see a larger smudge of red spanning from the very edge of the front of his right shoulder, to the lower part of the back of his shoulder, stopping against his back. The sight made something startle within you, but it was never enough to make you do anything but close your eyes tightly once again to envision yourself never having had to see it. If you thought of it like that, it was almost as if nothing was different than a normal, every-day relationship. You were too tired to question him, however, keeping your body dropped back on the mattress as you observed him rise to his feet, glancing back at your form as you fought off the feeling of drifting off to sleep.

“I’m just gonna go shower, I’ll be back soon,” he began, already passing out from where you’d be able to see him if you found it in yourself to open your eyes, heading down the hall to the bathroom as you waited for sleep to fall over you again. “Go to sleep, I’ll be five minutes,” he called in finality, letting the bathroom door fall to halfway shut as you stayed in your place on the bed.

Groping around again, you found the soft material of the duvet, tugging it to cover your body from the presumably imaginary draft in the room. Turning to have your back to the window this time, you faced the door with your eyes still determined in their path to stay completely and immovably shut, your mind wishing for nothing other than sleep to completely overcome your senses as you waited for the secure warmth of Jaehyun’s body to comfort you once again.

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bleedpure · 5 years

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mark lee vc: LEZ GEDDIT ! i’m al or ally, i’m nineteen, i’m in the cst timezone aka the midwest, so u know what that means ! it sucks ! i don’t even know how to transition out of that. i’m so bad at talking about myself, so i think we’re just gonna not do that....... we’ll talk about seulki instead, which i can assure u he’s 100% more interesting than i will ever be ! u can find his info under the cut and if u wanna plot hit that like button and i’ll come to u or u can hit me up on d*scord ( which i would love tbh bc it’s easier than tumblr ims ) @ the jonas brothers did that#7625. okay, onto the intro !

- ̗̀✰ • 【 LEE MINHO, CISMALE, HE/HIM 】 ❝ did you see KIM SEULKI on the train back to hogwarts? they’re a HALF-BREED (VAMPIRE) in their THIRD year as a TWENTY year old RAVENCLAW. apparently they’re the ENIGMA around the grounds; most likely because they give off an aura of DROPLETS OF CRIMSON LIQUID DRIPPING OFF PEARLY WHITE FANGS, FORM FITTING JEANS THAT HUG JUST THE RIGHT SPOTS, HEART SHAPED LIPS CURLING INTO A DEVILISH SMILE, THE FEELING OF A PIANO PLAYING EERILY IN THE ROOM NEXT DOOR. of all the social media platforms, they’re definitely most obsessed with their INSTAGRAM; probably because they’re ELOQUENT, but also MANIPULATIVE. however, on the new manifest app in mr. carlos’ english class, they’ve already managed to anonymously steal the username: BLOODLUST.

ALSO ! if u want a better look at him, u can check out his pinterest board here ( follow me too that’d be so sexy of u ) !

information.

i’m gonna just do this in bullet points bc i’m lazy and have had a really long week so if it’s choppy.... i am so sorry u are just gonna have to deal w it KMSKSMK

seulki was born in seoul, south korea to a kang insoo, a wizard man, and kim eunbin, a vampire woman, seulki himself being her first born

he doesn’t remember much of his own father, the only image he has of him is his bloodied corpse after his mother ripped his throat out when he was five years old

she was a cruel woman is what he had learned from that moment on

most half-breeds are misunderstood creatures, but the kim line of vampires were the monsters they told u abt in horror stories, the ones that hid under ur bed and took u from ur room in the depths of the night

being descendants of vlad the impaler, yes he really was a vampire!, had death and destruction lacing through their veins, darkness and deceit wrapping around their bodies

growing up, he watched his mother give birth to three more children, all of which were full fledged vampires, unlike himself

at first, he never let it bother him, he was raised up to be a vampire, to let the magic gene within him go dormant. he fed off humans and shed the blood of other’s with the influence of his mother, but even being her puppet was never enough for her

secretly, she had always resented her falling in love with a wizard, a human, someone that wasn’t of their own kind. because she did actually fall in love with him, only to be blindsided by her own family, a powerful clan of vampires pulling who she was and who she had always been out of her

because of the resentment matted in between her bones, the anger and frustration of her family ruining her life, of insoo ruining her life, she began to see the human traits within seulki even more often than not, creating a drift and a barrier between the two of them

seulki was the eldest brother, the one who took it upon himself to help raise them, to protect them, to never let their bright souls be diminished by the thought that they were monsters. they loved him and he loved them, but his mother didn’t like that

she didn’t like how they cared for each other because they cared for each other more than they cared for her. she was selfish, wanting the love she never was able to receive, wanted to feel smth for all that she didn’t

his mother hadn’t been fond of him for a while, only using him to do her bidding and while him and his siblings got closer and closer, she got angrier, knowing that they were each others’ heartbeats and she wasn’t included in that

so because of her selfish and deranged nature, she wanted to eliminate her younger children to cause torment to seulki. ganging up on the children one night with the intent to kill them, but she didn’t get as far as she wanted to

she severely injured her second oldest, giving a few scratches the the other’s before seulki came in, eyes black and charging towards his mother. it was a bloodbath after that, the two youngest pulling their sister to safety as they called for seulki

their cries and calls snapped him out of his loss of humanity and in front of him was his injured, but not dead mother unconscious. it was then that he took his chance, packing whatever he could that was valuable and fled with his siblings

they spent time spent a long time running, bouncing from city to city more bloodshed falling onto seulki’s hands to protect the only people he held dear to him and he would do anything for them.

he struggled a lot actually with maintaining his humanity as it would slip from time to time due to the trauma even if he had his siblings to tether him down. at some point, seulki, while strong, felt himself getting exhausted from being on the run and it was when they’d found themselves in scotland being found by hagrid of all people offering seulki a place at hogwarts and his siblings a place in his hut

at first, seulki declined, not fully trusting the man with his siblings even though he would be right in the castle near by. but, after some thought and the push of the second oldest, they accepted the offer and seulki’s been attending hogwarts since he was eighteen and his siblings have found a residence with hagrid

tidbits.

he ages like a normal human up until he’s twenty-one when he quits aging and begins the phase of immortality.

seulki can and will drink blood to survive, but if he goes without it it’s not detrimental to him until he quits aging altogether which means he can eat regular food, he actually quite enjoys it.

he has fangs, he can go out into sunlight, but not for an excessive amount of time or he’ll get a rash. seulki does have inhuman speed and strength, but nothing overpowering u know? when he loses his humanity, his eyes go full black and when the vampire takes him over, his eyes are red, and his regular eye color is brown.

losing his humanity means he loses his heartbeat, most of the time either due to losing the things or people that make his heart beat or from intense and severe anger or negative emotions such as the like. though, it can be voluntarily done as well by switching it off ( kind of like tvd . . . fucking disgusting ). but, seulki being only half-vampire has an easier time, unlike his siblings, to regain his heartbeat back and for his humanity to fluctuate when it’s lost because of his human side. his siblings are his heartbeats actually, so that’s where the intense need to protect them comes from as well as just being their brother.

seulki is a Big Bi ! loves it fucking all.

he’s not super great at magic since his magic gene was pretty dormant until he came to hogwarts, so he’s pretty much just skirting by at this point.

his siblings mean the world to him, he would do absolutely anything for them and wouldn’t let a single person harm a hair on their heads. but ! no one knows they exist, though i’m sure if there were special people in his life they might !

while he sleeps around a lot . . . he’s a secret romantic. he’s always wanted to find love, but it way too terrified of it.

oh yeah he has a blood kink............ that’s important ig

personality.

seulki is definitely an interesting person. he’s wise and intelligent, having been through a lot in his life. he’s eloquent and good with his words, most would call him honey-tongued because of how he can persuade almost anyone to do what he says. seulki is kind of a dick or well, like a suave dick. he’s charming and flirty, his signature is a smirk and like arms crossed as he leans against a doorway u know? seulki is uh. how do i put this? kind of a whore. he doesn’t tend to care about others which is deep rooted in the fact that he’s never felt real love . . . his own mother hated him to the core. he’s overprotective of the people he cares about and will do absolutely anything for them. he’s an ass if i didn’t mention that before, it’s to protect himself and his siblings from ever being hurt again because he’s so terrified of letting people in for them to just tear him down in the process. he’s guarded and u never know what he’s thinking because he doesn’t show it on his face or let u know. UH I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY MY BRAIN DOESN’T WORK............ he’s p manipulative............. uh he cares a lot. but deep down and he doesn’t want ppl to know that........... he’s definitely a Big Brother type when he cares abt u, makes sure u’ve eaten, makes sure ur warm and are comfortable....... yeah idk that’s it i’m done

wanted plots.

A HEARTBEAT ! — whether platonic or romantic, this would be someone who, just like seulki’s siblings, makes his heart beat thus keeping his humanity in check, they would be a WHOLE, WHOLE lot to him.

A TUTOR ! — as i mentioned earlier, seulki isn’t super well versed when it comes to magic, he’s not very good at it and it’s hard for him to navigate sometimes, so having someone to help him get his mf grades up would be lovely !

AN EX ! — obviously, this didn’t go down well because seulki is terrified of commitment and people getting close to him. it could play out in so many ways, so if it sparks ur interest we can chat !

A ROOMMATE ! — so which sucker is gonna have to live with the vampire who has a blood kink ?

A BEST FRIEND ! — obviously this is pretty self explanatory, this would be someone that seulki trusts with probably his life and they mean a lot to him, even if he’s bad at showing it.

LOVE/HATE ! — bruh give me that good shit. these two can’t stand each other, but because of that it’s formed some sort of fondness where if anyone is messing with the other they’re like who tf are u that’s my job !

A BAD INFLUENCE / GOOD INFLUENCE ! — self explantory . . . someone be a good influence for seulki and let him be a bad influence for someone else.

AN UNREQUITED CRUSH ! — my friend gave me the idea to maybe have someone have a cute little crush on seulki . . . and i was like but that’s SO sad........ then i was like u know what i love pain so here we are........ also could be requited we shall see !

FUCK BUDDIES, FRIENDS/ENEMIES WITH BENEFITS, FLINGS ! — i’m just getting lazy at this point to explain this shit . . . fuck him, let him fuck u he’s a true vers my friends.

OTHERS ! — cuddle buddy, old friends, confidant, rivals, skinny love, annoyances, a brother/sister type of relationship, and if there’s anything else we can just vibe ! tbh we don’t even have to do anything from this list, whatever fits the muses, these are just ideas !

#mhq:intros #°࿐ ✦ ༉ 𝓐. ooc ﹠ 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙠𝙪𝙨𝙝 .#huh. can't believe y'all have to read this...... i feel bad for u all #also i didn't proofread this so just go w it

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