I rewatched “the boy in the iceberg” the other day, and it’s not an episode I revisit often, but when I do, I’m always kind of amazed by the level of insight it provides into katara and sokka’s upbringing, but only when you watch it through the lens of having already seen the entire show.
for example, kanna as a character does not register for the viewer unless you already know her backstory as it’s revealed to us in “the waterbending master,” at which point the fact that she is shown to be unflinchingly harsh and stern and keeps preventing katara from the fun and adventure she clearly yearns for actively signals to us what kind of toll the war must’ve taken on her and the responsibility she feels towards keeping katara out of trouble. the fact that we see kanna push katara from aang, warning her to not pin her hopes on this boy and telling her she needs to do her chores, is really interesting because it frames the fact that katara does a lot of chores not as something she might have volunteered to do, or even is expected to as a girl, but rather something that kanna forces her to do as a distraction method (both from her grief and from her impulsiveness).
it’s clear that kanna sees far more of herself in katara than she does in sokka, but that comes with the acknowledgment that katara has the capacity to be just as adventurous, reckless and impulsive as kanna was at her age, and that means keeping a close eye on her at all times. I’m convinced that if kanna had ever said “sokka, be a man and wash your dirty socks,” sokka would’ve done that shit without question, but instead kanna made katara do all of the laundry because it meant keeping her in their house for longer, where she can keep an eye on her granddaughter and make sure she isn’t running off to go penguin sledding or exploring the ruins of an old fire nation ship (two things she immediately does the second she makes a friend her age) or god knows what else. kanna has no need to keep an eye on sokka because he is extremely cautious, takes his duties very seriously, and refuses to entertain the notion of having fun of any kind, so there’s no chance of him wandering off and getting into trouble.
when sokka says “I knew I shouldn’t have taken you fishing,” because of what he says next (“leave it to a girl to screw things up”) he makes it sound like it’s because he believes that women can’t fish because their tits get in the way or whatever, but I bet that katara begged him to take her because she was bored and was clawing at the walls desperate to go outside and explore, even if it meant putting up with her annoying ass brother (not like she has any other friends her age). she probably went through all her chores really fast and then caught sokka on his way out and did adorable puppy dog eyes and had a whole numbered list ready with reasons she should go until sokka relented (only to immediately realize that fishing is just as boring as doing laundry).
kanna did not approve of the idea of katara going alone with aang to the north pole, but once it was sokka’s idea to go rescue aang and travel the world, (and it was clear he had packed the necessary provisions, unlike katara, whose decision to leave with aang was a spur of the moment thing,) kanna gave them her blessing. and her respective farewells to both of them are also so telling in that regard, because she is giving katara permission to be hopeful, to finally live up to her heroic potential, whereas she tells sokka to look after katara. on their travels, katara does have some practical skills sokka doesn’t (sewing and midwifery being the primary two things sokka is fucking useless at) that she acquired from spending every waking second since kya’s death doing chores with kanna, but she is also constantly getting herself into trouble, with or without aang (or toph) as her accomplice. and every time sokka is just like “yup, classic katara shenanigans. just so you know i disapprove but also will do everything in my power to help you out of this mess.”
watching out for katara, making sure that she doesn’t get herself into trouble, and then helping her out of said trouble, is the exact kind of thing both hakoda and kanna told sokka his primary responsibility was, and it’s clear he takes that responsibility very seriously. it’s also probably why he was way more chill about the consequences of toph’s scamming. like, he told her to be careful after noticing her wanted poster, but he wasn’t mad about it the way he was when katara attracted the wrath of pirates, because he didn’t spend his whole life being shown and told that toph needs someone responsible to keep her in line. and he does feel a level of responsibility and protectiveness towards toph, that much is clear, but he also trusts her judgment because he’s never actually seen her make an actively bad judgment call (excluding katara from the scams was mean and wrong of her, granted, but it’s clear he doesn’t wanna involve himself in their beef).
“never turning his back on katara” is always sokka’s first priority, above anything else, and that shows even when he’s being a dick to her, saying inflammatory shit like “leave it to a girl to screw things up.” again, once you've seen the show in full, it’s pretty clear that sokka is just saying that because he’s insecure that all the warriors left him behind, so he’s projecting his insecurities onto her, but if you don’t have the context to understand how much the idea of “not being a true warrior” means to sokka, it just seems like he thinks boys rule girls drool. and if you don’t realize that kanna is actively making katara do more chores on purpose, whereas she trusts sokka to be responsible for himself, it does seem like katara is taking on an unfair amount of responsibility, in a gendered way. you take that conversation at face value, because you don’t realize (at first) that they’re both projecting their insecurities and blaming their personal frustrations on each other. you don’t realize that sokka is minimizing katara because he sees her as his annoying little sister who always gets into trouble, and you don’t realize that katara is telling herself stories of grand adventure because she feels cooped up at home, because this is the inciting incident where adventure does await, so sokka’s suspicion and exasperation seems out of pocket, whereas katara’s wonder and eagerness seems totally justified.
it’s similar to how when zuko sees the light from the iceberg opening iroh warns them that they’ve gone down this road before and not to have too much hope. kanna tells katara the same thing. both zuko and katara believe in the avatar as their salvation, and are so eager to put their faith in this narrative that they accept it without question. of course, we as the audience know that they’re right, but it’s also perfectly reasonable for sokka and iroh to warn them not to get their hopes up, to be careful and patient. it makes you wonder how many times not only zuko, but also katara have gone looking for the avatar before, firm in their belief that he’s still out their somewhere, and they will be the Chosen One to finally find him (of course, they’re right, but no one had any way of possibly knowing that). katara and zuko are obvious foils whose journeys mirror and intersect, but iroh and sokka are too, and they’re both there to support and guide their younger, less jaded family member, both in giving them the space and encouragement to be the best versions of themselves they can be, and also cautioning them or saving them once they get themselves into trouble due to their shortsighted impulsiveness.
the same way that zuko’s always yelling at iroh that he’s just a lazy old man who doesn’t understand the importance of honor is how i view katara’s rant to sokka that he “doesn’t do anything around camp” and “from now on, he’s on his own.” like, what does she even mean by him “being on his own”? his primary priority at all times is literally protecting her. he’s not the one making her do his laundry, their grandmother is. blame her, katara! (actually ykw i bet she does but just yells at whichever family member is in vicinity in that moment.) katara has every right to be bored and frustrated, but her anger is mostly misplaced (other than calling sokka sexist, that’s fair). and it’s clear that sokka doesn’t take any of what she says to heart anyway, because the entire time she’s ranting he’s just sitting there thinking about how they’re gonna get home without a boat.
what makes kanna so fascinating is that we only ever see her agreeing with sokka, but it’s clear she’s secretly rooting for katara, for her naive, impossible worldview to be somehow, against all odds, right. and when she is, when the avatar is revealed to be alive, kanna thanks her for bringing back the dormant hope she long thought gone for good. sokka, like kanna, has been utterly jaded, all and any sense of wonder pulverized by the war. but aang and katara bring it back, through their sheer optimism against all odds, their sense of adventure, their commitment to justice, and their dedication to preserving their childhoods amidst all the grief and violence they’ve had to suffer.
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hey btw if you're in the USA at 2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.
if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.
additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.
i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."
"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.
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i really think having an emotional connection is so important to bakugou sexually.
like, i think he has to be in the exact right mood in order to get off by himself at home alone. can't be too tired, can't be too stressed out, can't have too much on his mind regarding work or other things, and even if it's been a while and his body is sensitive and wanting for it—if his head is not right, he can sit there for hours and never reach his peak.
which is why i think ultimately he doesn't do it that often, because it pisses him off to waste the time and not find the release. makes him more agitated. i think porn for the most part doesn't help him because he's too picky, literature probably helps a bit more, but he's still picky, and his imagination can get him there, but his headspace has to be right.
i think he's slow to hands-on stuff, when your relationship starts, and you can tell he's going to be like that pretty quickly. he responds to your touch like it's an accident; you reach out to hold his hand and he pulls his back like your knuckles have knocked by chance, like you're too close. it's not meant to be a rejection of any kind, it's just—he doesn't want you to touch him if you don't want to. if you don't mean to.
but when he realizes that you mean to, that you want to—
it has him skyrocketing. surprises him terribly, the affect you have on his body, and how quickly, because not even he can always have that affect on his own body.
you reach up to push some hair out of his face and your fingers skirt his cheekbone and he feels like a stupid gross disgusting puddle of mush. you loop your arm through his and lean into him while you're walking and he feels like a prize, like he's yours and you're his and you want everybody to know and that gives him a rush of pride that makes his head woozy.
he's dropping you off at home after date number he-doesn't-know and you're staring up at him outside your front door and he knows he should kiss you so he does and his whole body lights up with a heat he doesn't recognize at all. just from that.
and then he finally gets it: that heart-aching, stomach turning, body shaking want he's only ever heard about, and now finally feels.
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