#bc personally i'm deranged

[happi-tree]

hey what if 👉👈 i kissed a figment of you on the cheek in the pride 🏳️‍🌈 circle of hell 🔥 and we were both boys??? 😳

#and then when i realized you saw i told you that i thought it was real 🥺 #what then??? #oakworthy stans how are we FEELING??? #bc personally i'm deranged #HAPPY VALENTINES GROSS TEENAGE LOVE IS REAL!!!!! #i'm losing it they're taking over my brain fr #dndads #dndads s2 spoilers #oakworthy

[sandwizard9]

just read an ao3 fanfic written in Spanish that I poorly Google translated and??? the plot is so good and I like the method of writing. there are obv some parts the translator failed to show but it was still so good....

i kinda want to leave a comment in Spanish but I'm scared the translator will fuck it up??? haha guys should I do it. I really love it so much i can't wait for the update

#I wa curious bc of the tags (they were in English) and dug deeper and found GOLD!!! #it's an X reader fanfic #now I normally don't like x readers bc they're kinda too cheesy #but this one focuses more on the characters mental health issues and the reader is not given much personality other than deranged <- i love #the poor translation makes it even better imo l!!!!!!! #i think I'm gonna do it #txt #ao3

[optiwashere]

Needed to lay down and try to sleep for longer than an hour today, and in doing so I blearily looked at general fandom tags because I wanted to see silly fanart.

Instead I got hit full-force with reality of so much drama over the wildest little shit. I've been cursed with sight.

I have also never been happier to stay in my own bubble away from... all of that.

All that to say, I'm keeping this blog free of more stuff like this but holy fuck it hit me like a freight train. All this drama exhausts me and I don't know how anyone keeps up with it. I prefer to think of this place as the equivalent of a cabin in the woods, one where I emerge every few days with a few thousand words for people to devour with their eyes.

#personal nonsense #random fandom thoughts #these tags are deranged because it's very late here and I'm running on chunks of sleep no human ever should #holy fuck I knew people were going to be weird but watching a ~4 month speedrun of one of the WORST fandoms I've ever seen in my life is... #and now the weird VA shit I knew was going to be weird has gotten... weird! shocking. quelle suprise. #it's incredible tbh and I find it hilarious because I was playing over here in my corner by myself until then #I mean I'd gladly take weird shipping bullshit in my asks rather than some of the other weirdos that make it personal #but I'm beyond grateful I've managed to avoid that entirely I am blessed and my crops are watered #“I could never put another character with Character X because that gets in the way of Blorbo Y!” is a little cute at first #until you reach the logical conclusion of that holy fuck lmfao #on a minor note I'm glad I chose to stay away from the subreddits bc I peeked in and saw the equivalent of “I touched fire and it was hot?" #there is one person in particular obsessed with shadowheart there but is violently defensive of One True Wayism and it's insufferable

[nyerus]

Don't you think it's funny cause actual canon gay characters in BL manga will say "I love you" but only the shounen bromance can spew out some of the most romantic shit akin to a 19th century poet writing a letter expressing his surpressed love for his lover 😭.....

Hahaha, I definitely think it's pretty hilarious that the "no-homo, we're just bros" stuff often does produce insanely over-the-top romantic nonsense fdlgkjdflgjd It's like so you're telling me that you totally like girls and everything just fine but your entire character arc and motivations and blah blah are completely centered around another boy??? Sure okay, yeah. 👀 Like why are you as a man--

No but I think it also definitely relates to how "straight male culture" IRL is so... homoerotic in many aspects, often because of the same reasons (i.e. they're obsessed with how other men perceive them, and women are just kind of seen as objects to obtain in order to please other men) ANYWAY I obviously don't want to go too deep into that or else I might start getting weird ppl crawling all over my blog HAHA!

Also there's something to be said for the fact that "we" as a queer audience are doing a LOT of heavy lifting in these cases. Often because it's a genuinely more interesting interpretation, or just more fun lmfao. I don't have a lot of faith in most shonen authors to do any of that shit intentionally, because, well, they're shonen authors. 😭

#Anonymous #asks #like you guys are not ready to hear me talk about one of my favorite ships. if you're on my main blog you'll see i'm a HUGE timkon stan.... #and even though DC has been like 'they're just bros' for like three decades #one of them literally tries to clone the other back to life even knowing it wont be the same but bc he's so desperate to have SOMETHING #of his 'best friend' back.... and its like #that is SOOOO homiesekual i dont even know where to begin #at least timmy was canonically confirmed as bi and TO BE HONEST... average derange bi person behavior (source: me) #anyway.

[syn0vial]

yesterday, i learned that one of my acquaintances from church is like, gleefully and unreservedly supportive of the gazan genocide despite going to a church where every sermon for the past few weeks has been about the horrors and tragedy of said genocide. like, i could not fucking believe how hilarious he seemed to think it is that innocent palestinians are dying, just grinning and laughing and shaking his head and rolling his eyes when my pastor and i expressed horror at the innocent people being killed. just remembering it makes me choke up with anger.

anyway, i'm going to be very stupid and try to talk to him about it this coming sunday. i'll use all my teacherly tricks to try and gently lead him to feel one single scrap of empathy for the victims of israel's civilian massacre, but lbr: he'll probably respond with the same amount of glee and condescension as last night and it's going to end with me making me a scene at church.

but i know i shouldn't. so here are some things i should NOT say, no matter how angry he makes me:

i've always hated the sound of your voice, even before you said such horrible things. you say everything with such condescension. when you read the gospels in church, i have to hide my face behind my program to hide my grimacing. you make the words of christ himself sound like a grift of some oily used car dealer who thinks he's smarter than he actually is. i pity you for going through life with such a voice, and pity you even more for thinking it charming.

it baffles me that you'd allow something as basically human as compassion for the suffering of others to be so utterly sanded away by propaganda. it's pathetic that you could laugh at innocents dying. you've let yourself be lobotomized by a clumsy surgeon and style yourself wise with the icepick still sticking from your skull.

i've always thought your face looks like an easter island head sculpted from a raw chicken breast.

see? none of those would be productive, no matter how truly they express my feelings about this person.

thus: people of faith, pray that god grants me the wisdom and restraint to not light this motherfucker up in the middle of coffee hour. amen.

#vent post #personal post #this happened last night and i thought i'd feel less angry in the morning but NOPE #still incandescent about it #sometimes i think i'm a very self-righteous and unforgiving person #bc i can't seem to do the thing other people do where they can just chalk things like this up to a difference in opinion and remain friends #when someone is cruel‚ it feels like it completely deranges me #suddenly they're a monster in my eyes #buuuut none of the philosophies i subscribe to endorse this kind of black-and-white thinking. quite the opposite actually. #so. i've gotta work on seeing people as works-in-progress rather than writing them off as incorrigible monsters #but.... lemme just vent first 🤬 #love my pastor though. i was raised jewish‚ and he was adopted by a jewish family when he was 13 and almost became jewish himself #so i feel like we have similar spiritual backgrounds and see eye-to-eye on a lot of things #after my argument with the above asshole‚ my pastor and i spoke at length about what was happening in gaza and how horrible it all is #as well as topics like zionism‚ antisemitism‚ and the torah #he's such a good guy. i'm sad he's retiring :( #i feel like we need him now more than ever to keep speaking out about the genocide #and to make sure views like the one mentioned above don't take hold in our church #cw: genocide #cw: racism

[roseverdict]

bad bike lockup: looping your lock through the bike frame and nothing else

okay bike lockup: looping your lock through the bike frame and an immobile pole like a street sign

good bike lockup: looping your lock through the bike frame, the back wheel, the front wheel if you can manage it, and an actual bike rack

????? bike lockup: looping your lock through the bike frame, the back wheel, and the grated door of the propane tank storage unit at a gas station

#bicycling #biking #rosie babbles #wheels :) #like. ok. the metal of the door itself is pretty thin and easily sliced by somebody with the right tools #but WHO in their RIGHT FUCKING MIND would grab their angle grinder or buzzsaw and go 'this is fine' before attacking the metal next to #SEVERAL TANKS OF PROPANE #it's specialty lockpicks or bust and i'm gonna be long gone by then :) #in all seriousness can an experienced bike person tell me how deranged this is bc it Feels like a very deranged way to secure a bicycle

[pinejay]

just had a dream abt the torment nexus.....

#seriously that was such an awful nightmare #something abt being trapped in a time loop. repeatedly trying to get thru but they also know i'm in the time loop so they're just laughing #having to repeat the past while fully conscious of the consequences. i cut off someone's hand bc they were trying to kill me #but i end up looking like the deranged violent evil person every time #and then in the future me and my loved ones die excruciating deaths over and over

[jennycalendar]

there are so many things that stood out to me as i watched the dark age in full for the first time in a very long time. the standout is the fact that this is an episode that has something very clear to say about jenny -- insidious, quiet, not at all the larger point of the episode, but clear. and what it has to say is that she’s impermanent.

on some level, i was expecting some degree of narrative antipathy towards jenny as i continued to watch this show. i wasn’t expecting to see it this clearly and this early. i’ve talked before about how surprise and innocence both throw jenny under the bus in a way i find unfair, limiting, and lazy, but the dark age does it too! this is a consistent pattern with her! she’s presented as something that directly contradicts information we’re given later in canon: someone who cannot handle the reality of the man that giles is. the episode is structured to demonstrate jenny as someone who enjoys the unserious, flirtatious romance of her connection with giles, but who balks at the reality of being truly involved with him, and who flinches away from the man that he really is. it is done so in a way that is not halfhearted. it is incisively deliberate -- in the framing, in everything.

we begin with giles/jenny’s romance in bloom, emphasizing in particular that jenny is eager. she is forward. she is direct about wanting to sleep with him, and the way that she describes him is incredibly key to this as well: she refers to him as a sexy fuddy-duddy. her attraction to him is illustrated within the episode as something that stems from him being adorable and old-fashioned, and the episode itself demonstrates that while the adorable, old-fashioned librarian is a facet of him, it’s not all that there is. we’re given jenny’s and buffy’s reactions to this in tandem at the end of the episode -- jenny flinching away, buffy drawing closer. this is also incredibly important.

constantly, consistently, this episode juxtaposes jenny and buffy. they are placed next to each other in the computer lab, joined by their joint disbelief that cordelia would overlook such a key detail about giles. the conversation they share is one about giles, with buffy turning to jenny for guidance re: how to help giles and jenny -- this is important -- having NO IDEA. jenny and giles share an intimate scene in his apartment, as do giles and buffy -- yet the key factor is that the intimacy between giles and jenny, the moment of comfort, is entirely false. it is a manufactured illusion that a demon is utilizing against him. the intimacy between giles and buffy, in contrast, is something real -- an admission about his past that we never actually see him share with jenny. again, the end of the episode contains similar parallels. giles attempts to express his desire to remain in jenny’s life, and jenny, now fully informed about the kind of man he is, moves away from his touch. buffy seeks giles out and expresses her appreciation for him, entirely as he is, + how grateful she is to know him as a complete individual. how this makes her life easier.

i obviously did not enjoy this. i can’t pretend at objectivity as i write this up, and it’s still a constant war with myself as i try to figure out a way to write this in any way that isn’t just SOOOO obviously biased (don’t think that’ll work, though, lmao), because i personally don’t like the way that this episode just staunchly refuses the possibility that jenny could love giles as he is. this feels like an episode intended to be the kiss of death for giles and jenny’s relationship, and taken in and of itself, it’s actually a really convincing argument for them not being able to work. we’re shown the depths of buffy and giles’s relationship, but so much of it is about placing buffy and giles’s relationship right next to giles and jenny’s relationship in order to demonstrate how ill-suited jenny is for giles. she’s weak. she’s easily infected. she’s unable to cope with the reality of closeness with giles. she’s a liability to him and unsympathetic to his isolation. buffy, meanwhile, ADAPTS to the reality of closeness with giles, EVOLVES this episode to protect and support him, rescues HERSELF when someone attempts to make her a victim of eyghon. these are all things that the dark age illustrates with aplomb. we see giles sitting with buffy, spilling his guts -- we never see him that candid about his past with jenny, even as she herself will later be candid about her past with him. 

and that’s the thing, too! this episode demonstrates such an INSANE double standard when it comes to the way giles handles secrets vs. the way jenny handles secrets. when point-blank asked to explain his deal re: a secret that is actively putting absolutely everyone in danger, giles refuses, snapping back with particularly vicious anger and telling buffy to “stay out of it.” he is determined to handle this shit on his own, and as ethan points out, this is not necessarily the best course when it comes to actually keeping people safe -- yet this episode presents him as a sympathetic figure. a flawed individual who deserves to be loved, understood, and accepted. multiple episodes later, jenny is THROWN AGAINST A DESK, and buffy’s furious demands for the truth are immediately met with complete, earnest honesty on jenny’s part, as well as complete and total cooperation with anything and everything that the scoobies demand of her & throw at her (think willow’s pointed brush-off, buffy’s dismissive cruelty, GILES COMING TO ASK HER FOR RESEARCH HELP AND TREATING HER LIKE SHIT IN THE SAME BREATH) -- yet she is presented as someone who has gotten her just desserts.

one could quibble about the magnitude of the secrets involved, but eyghon is presented as less of a threat in large part because the only person it ever actually threatens is jenny. much like angelus, the only person that the monster ever actually harms is jenny -- and both times, she is presented as responsible for it to some degree by virtue of wanting something from giles. it’s striking that jenny’s significant romantic overtures towards giles (wanting to sleep with him, telling him she’s in love with him) are always paired with some sort of harm inflicted upon her -- death, or something only narrowly escaping it. it’s striking that in this episode in particular, jenny’s desire to sleep with giles becomes something monstrous, utilized to try and tempt him -- and when he doesn’t succumb, she herself becomes something entirely unrecognizable. it’s key that giles never succumb to the temptation that is jenny. the individual that is jenny exists only hypothetically, and only in the margins.

this episode is insistent about presenting jenny as a road that will only lead to misery for giles. it works as foreshadowing for passion, certainly, but it’s also determined to highlight the fact that the problem lies within jenny herself. she isn’t able to handle the supernatural. she’s not as strong as she thinks. what she loves about giles isn’t real, and when faced with the reality of him, she flinches back. giles himself says it: “i don’t think she’ll ever really forgive me.”

thing is, though, SHE DOES. and only three episodes later! and THIS is where my little blorbo agenda shows up with baffling intensity, because this episode’s thesis statement about jenny JUST DOES NOT MAKE SENSE when looking at EVERYTHING WE ARE GIVEN ABOUT HER. she makes the decision to get back together with him, despite the clear implications in the dark age that all she enjoyed about him was the “sexy fuddy-duddy.” she is revealed to have intense ties to the supernatural, despite the clear implications in the dark age that this isn’t a life she can handle or wants to be a part of. the dark age is saying something about giles and jenny’s relationship that doesn’t match up with what canon says later, which is that she makes the CONSCIOUS CHOICE to come back to him, and that she has ALWAYS been a part of this world that she’s theoretically too terrified to continue living in with giles.

i feel that there are plenty of ways to emphasize the most important theme of this episode -- which is, of course, buffy coming to recognize giles as a flawed adult -- without also having to emphasize jenny’s inability to recognize giles as a flawed adult! she’s a plot device in this episode, a TOTAL nonentity: she’s something that can demonstrate that giles is complicated. she needs to be a shitty girlfriend so that we can understand that giles is HARD to understand. quite honestly, i’m starting to understand where some of the less savory takes on jenny are coming from, because this episode in particular leans into the idea of jenny Just Not Understanding Giles Enough. jenny Not Being Good Enough For Giles. fun fact: the first time i watched this episode with my mom, her take was to say, dismissively, “jenny can’t handle it.” i think that that’s an important anecdote to slot neatly in here. if taken totally at face value, and if one already might resent jenny for any reason (shippy or otherwise), this episode can easily and quietly feed into that resentment. jenny is shown Not Handling It.

yet, as ever, the messaging re: jenny is so inconsistent -- a by-product of her status as a Sexy Lamp, which is really in FULL SWING this episode -- that even this statement cannot remain true within the greater context of her largely hypothetical character arc. though she is demonstrated as someone who Doesn’t Understand Giles, someone who Can’t Handle Him, the show goes on to draw back the curtain and reveal that 1) she wants to be with him & 2) she actually has her own little Tragic Backstory that neatly matches his! the way she’s treated this episode -- the way the episode frames her as pulling away from giles explicitly BECAUSE she can’t handle what he’s done to her -- is not consistent with the notion of her returning to him, nor is it consistent with her backstory. it does not make sense. 

(honorable mention to the foreshadowing of passion, which saturates the eyghon confrontation on a level that i truly didn’t realize until watching it now -- not just angel saving jenny, but how he saves her. how jenny-as-eyghon enters, and buffy steps in front of giles, but her furious attempt to block jenny is aborted and she’s thrown to the side. how jenny-as-eyghon is inches away from giles, from doing what she’s been “waiting to do for a long time,” before angel pulls her roughly away from him and wraps his hands around her neck. that is RIGHT THERE, people.)

(and btws this post is dedicated to @korinainspace​ + @alltheangstmygifttoyou​ bc y’all were very gracious about me going actually insane as we watched this and i greatly appreciate it. i hope you two are getting some excellent sleep. <3 )

#celia's buffy rewatch 2022 edition #meta #jenny calendar #btvs #lmao no idea what to do with all of these thoughts. hopefully they are at least relatively coherent! #i have very complicated feelings about this episode now that i've watched it and that makes me sad :( #all of my btvs takes are just literally never what i expect them to be as i watch it is deranged #anyway a little bit nervous about this because it's my first totally unhinged overanalytical jenny take in a really long time #and y'all have been getting the soft tosses for a year or so methinks bc i've been a little busy and tired #but if at least one person is like Celia I'm Feeling Unwell because of this post i shall feel encouraged

[sanstropfremir]

To add on your dancing/performing analysis list, I was wondering if you had any thoughts on yeonjun from txt. You previously spoke about txt as a whole a couple of times, and it made me think more about him, bc he's usually hailed as the best 4th gen dancer (which, kind of rude since Hwanwoong is right here, but also understandable, since the more an idol gets popular, the more their fans will swear that this idol's the best at doing X, and people who don't know any better will accept it at face value.) I find him satisfying to watch because his moves seem clean, but at the same time I don't find him interesting/entertaining and I can't pinpoint why? Maybe he's just another case of idol dancers who are good at mimicking choreography rather than embodying it? I'd like to have your opinion if you're not tired of talking about txt despite not being interested in them 😭😂

yeonjun doesn't really have a personality, that's why. technically he's very good, but he's not bringing much to the table other than 'boy', if you know what i mean. personally i do also think he's not super great at embodying choreo, but tbh the lack of personality in performance is a much bigger issue, and it's not just him that has this problem. most of the popular fourth gen male dancers are guilty of this; yeonjun, lee know, hyunjin, juyeon, even wooyoung and yunho have it to some extent as well. and i should point out that it's not just exclusive to kpop dancers - although it is significantly more prominent of an issue because of the focus on the face - but it happens amongst regular dancers too. it's pretty common for dancers to have very good technical skills but struggle to express emotion or character with their performances, and the best dancers are the ones that can do both. there's circumstances in dance where it's less of an issue, but in a performance form like kpop where the focus is so forward on the face and character of the idol, it's impossible to hide that lack. it's the reason why san, seonghwa, and hongjoong can put out much more captivating performances despite having worse technique, because they're playing to their specific strengths and they know exactly what you need in order to make a good performance in this specific form.

#txt w #obvs there's also the model face thing bc a lot of these guys are also visuals but bitch that doesnt stop seonghwa from makin an ugly face! #also as we've established kpoppies dont think of dance as art so of course how would they know who is good and who isn't #i'm of the opinion that kpop shouldnt be about perfect dance technique and instead it should be about giving a good performance #and to give that performance you need to embody a character and put that character out there. #i think a lot of younger idols don't understand that you can have a difference between your 'performance' and your 'idol' face #like a big thing now is 'being real/authentic' but you can do that in the ments and on variety or whatever and still pull a sick perf #like san seonghwa hongjoong are not that deranged when theyre talking normally to people on camera #and like i said about ten! his typical on camera personality is nothing like what his performances are like! #stage taemin is different from idol taemin! stage kai is different from idol kai! #you can wear more that one mask. it's cool and good actually #anyways. im back on my shit about authenticity ruining kpop again i'll stop we've all heard this before #text #answers

[heartbeetz]

It is so very cute when people draw Anton with a little demon tail. I haven't incorporated that into my canon bc to me he's Just Some Guy, but I like it when others do.

#I do give him fangs though. bc it's hot and I'm deranged and also I think he deserves it #and bc of that old dev tweet. ''he's like a little imp he's arguably not even human.'' so tail is 👍 but not something I personally draw rn #also yeah. ''just some guy who got his prized liquor stolen by The Real Devil and has to go fight him in hell?'' idk man don't ask me #game's not even out yet what do you want me to say #♡: 🔨🎰🥃 #roz posts

[dingusships]

bigass vent over general life things

things in general are really not great i don't really have any optimism for the future or making a life for myself. like i don't really have any drive or ambition to look forward or work towards anything good/meaningful because as time goes on there are going to be really bad life events that i just don't think i can keep facing anymore. and theyre going to be worse. i'm just dragging along life solely on the basis that i was plopped here to just Exist and that's my task at hand that i'm reluctantly upholding. just exist until it's over

#when i say 'i'm 25' 'i'm going to be 26' it does not feel right coming out of my mouth. i do not feel just 25 or 26 i feel far far older #mentally and physically #when i'm around other people my age i just feel on a completely different plane of experience from everyone else #idk. i've always been a naturally anxious and socially stunted person & def have some kind of lingering trauma that keeps me from connectin #w people. but also having no family members or relatives anywhere near my age (~17 yrs older than me at the least) while i was growning up #probably did something to me as well. my entire life has just been witnessing family members decline and die like dominoes over the course #of 25 years. like i know all about end of life care and legal paperwork and shit like that. i know what grief is like and #seeing how it affects people. i know the stages of dread and worry and numbness & guilt-ridden relief that comes with being terrified 24/7 #for an ailing family member over the course of years. knowing what it's like to grieve people who arent dead yet but you know it's coming #and then when the inevitable happens it's horrible. but also you're so exhausted from the strain that you're mostly numb. and then you feel #a sense of relief that the worst is over they're not suffering anymore you don't have to dread it anymore. which obviously makes you #question if you're some kind of deranged asshole for feeling that way. idk #25 for me has been a very eye-opening age where i'm fully realizing how fast time passes. i thought i was at around 18-20 but i was really #just first becoming aware of it. #i know how to view the world from that lens bc that's all i know. i only see life as a preparation for the end #instead of a beginning. or at least see it as a beginning at this current point in my life #covid/lockdown has definitely been a source of mental drain on me as well. the constant fear and paranoia of getting sick AND what sort of #long term consequences i could have due to getting it twice. and what i could have if i get it more than twice #add that with the general social and political climate right now and it's just...so very bleak. home life is bleak & outside world is bleak #vent

[dankovskaya]

Ok a couple people said divorce maybe I’m insane to make the opposite and more drastic assumption but have we ever been given even the slightest implication that divorce is something that can happen in the town on gorkhon.

#To each their own opinion of course but especially to get married and divorced in such a short span of time like Artemy would've had to #have irt that throwaway line...... It makes more sense to me that the poor girl would've just died #Plus ok I guess it could've happened in the Capital but in the town if he had married and divorced a woman there. #The thought that she would just be Around somewhere with everything else going on strikes me as kind of odd 😭 #Death seemed like the natural implication especially considering he was talking to Vlad #CLEARLY I'm digging too far into this it's just my own deranged thinking on the matter anyone is free to consider him epic divorced #Kind of funny to think about honestly. #And the line itself is optional so all this goes in the trash the moment you Don't choose it #It's just that the reason I mentioned it in the first place is bc of how much that stood out to me personally above a lot of the other #dialogue choices and I had it in my mind for a lot of the playthrough so naturally I have put some thought into it

[papirouge]

Lmao well the irl would certainly be illuminating but the coping and kicked dog descriptions of self and behavior are. The plot has been lost here but you can get it together if you see what a waste this looks like and focus on something pertinent to your own ability to function without sounding like a re-textured incel

English isn't my first language so I'm not sure of understanding this whole verbal diarrhea of an ask but I hope the irony of you, coming into my askbox, seething about something that I did or said while acting like that I am the one coping isn't lost on you.

Stop projecting babe. Me living in your head rent free isn't healthy. Be free.

#sorry anon but you sound deranged and obsessed #never in my life on Tumblr did I ever sent anon hate bc Im not that bothered against anyone #maybe you should take a few pages of my book #you'd love me IRL bc I'm the type of person that would appease your heart 😘 #answered

[5uptic]

.

#getting caught up on the twitter stuff and hsjdndjdj i live for people being petty. please continue it is very funny #i have a lot of opinions but let me say this. i used to like his chat better than ***'s chat. but i think it's just a smidge better #and that's saying a lot if you know me #anyways..... come over to tumblr! we'd love a bigger community here <3 #(and don't send me asks about this because i won't reply. i'm just watching this from the sidelines) #....edit nvm. don't come over here. i actually don't want you guys here #and yes we are superior. because we don't give a fuck. and streamer/mods are not over here <3 #jerma voice: every single person is my enemy #okay even more edits here we go #it's so funny to me how appalled people seem to be at the existence of cr/wfu fic #and everytime they stumble upon them it's like. they legit clutch their pearls #i have been in tumblr since i was 13 years old. nothing is sacred for me anymore i guess #it's a bit of a generational divide i think. (god is this an inside joke LOL) #I MEAN i would say that but these people are 19-22??? #and then talk about 'boundaries' like no. stev said he didn't want to SEE people use his face as pfp bc its awk #but hes not in tumblr. so why would i not do it... like i'm saying haha fuck steve i have no respect for him this is why i run this blog #like no????? tw/tter culture is just so deranged in all the worst ways #i hate how common the phrase 'touch grass' is because it is very annoying and people just use it whenever but. but #sometimes people forget how human behavior works like and it is most apparent on twitter #we all have to work on that. God Bles. #this has been my manifesto alright

[federsturm]

usually i avoid making characters with tragic/sad stories my comfort characters bc how much comfort do you get out of watching your favorites die/lose over and over again?

then there is ruon motherfucking tarka

#ok tbh if it wasn't for this rowboat tarka would've never taken over my brain like that #but i love it <3 #so thank u <3 #if i'm emotional it's bc i have been tested positive for covid *again* #and now i have far too much free time and nothing to do #i consider a disco rewatch #if you see totally deranged golden ratio posts the next day it's covids fault #at least i only have mild symptoms #also i have no excuse anymore for not drawing #cult!oros better watch out #personal

[bbibbirose]

tough to match someone's personality when they're also more of a listener

#I've been skirting around them the whole time till I gave up and started yapping like my usual self #and it was a relief #idk if he's matching my personality now or if he's acting like himself but I sure hope he's gonna be comfortable later on #or he just never contacts me again bc this is a waste of energy to think abt #I remember being so deranged last semester but I've gotten good at the detachment #like I wouldn't go into a 3 month long mental spiral if he ended stuff but I do think he's a good person #I mean I'm warming up to him kinda and so is he but it's all j kinda meh #I rlly do j like yappers more #.text