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norrisleclercf1 · 8 months

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Letter 1

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader x Lando Norris

Part. 6 to Our Boy Series

Rating: PG

Words: 1.1K

Warnings: Angst, maybe fluff?

Our Boy Series / Previous It's All a Lie / Next Broken Hearts and Duct Tape >

Synopsis: After leaving, you left all your letter behind. The ones you wrote and the ones he wrote. Elijah finally reads Letter 1, maybe it brings comfort? But sometimes comfort can hurt.

Elijah, you must hate me for what I did. Rightfully so, but first, you should know the story. The real story. This is how your father and I met.........

We met in 2016; I was 19 and he was 31. How do I even begin to explain this to you, the significant age gap and much less how we even got together. Well, I can thank Lewis for that one.

Lewis introduced us when there was a massive party at the beginning of the year, kicking off the new F1 season. I went with my father. He was invited and brought me along, wanting me to mingle. Father introduced me to Lewis when I was young. McLaren boys stick together.

Lewis was, is, an older brother to me and someone I've always admired. When he introduced me to Nico, I highly doubt he expected Nico and me to fall in love. I didn't even plan on falling in love with him. Sometimes, I regret it. Other times, I don't because you came from that love.

Stupid and young, I got drunk, and Lewis was panicking. My father would've killed him if he knew the state I was in. Nico offered to take me, but he never once made a move on me. Laid me in his bed and slept on the couch. Nico wasn't always the monster. I made him out to be. If I was older and got pregnant...things would be different.

Nico was so good to me. We didn't get together until Barcelona, god he was so angry, and we became close, almost friends. He regretted it. I know he did. After it happened, he left that night, already back in Monaco, and I was still in Spain. Hurt was the understatement of the century. I was devastated.

I don't know what it was about Nico, but he trapped me in a way I couldn't understand. Nico was the first person I ever truly loved, and it was something Nico knew. He loved me; I know he did. After Spain, I returned to Monaco and ran into him; he said nothing, just kissed me.

To say the least, we weren't safe, literally and metaphorically. Whenever we were together, it was either fighting or completely wrapped into one another. We didn't care what people said, those who knew and those who didn't. Dad wasn't aware of the relationship until I called him crying one night.

Japan, 2016. I still remember sitting in the hotel room holding the test. I was furious, distraught, happy, and scared. I only told Nico in Abu Dhabi. I figured he'd be so happy. Winning the World Championship and now having a baby? He'd be on top of the world. Anyway, I called my Dad 4 weeks after Japan.

He flew out immediately and went straight to Nico. Told him how he knew of the relationship, Nico was happy. He wanted Mika to know and confess how he loved and respected me. Fast forward to Abu Dhabi, and there we were in the middle of his hotel room. When I told him, he cried, hugged me, and said he'd marry me when we got to Monaco.

Waking the next morning, I was sure Nico loved me. Only to roll over and see him gone. Everything was gone. I should've known right then, and there he left me, but I thought maybe he was talking to my Dad or Toto. Instead, I went around the entire city only to be told he went back to Monaco and was retiring and moving back to Germany.

Dad didn't say a word when I told him. He simply nodded and helped me back to Monaco. Getting to our apartment, it was empty. It was all gone, the pictures, trophies, his stuff. Only my belongings remained.

And a letter, a letter I still need to open. It's in this box. You should read it before me. Nico left me, not you. I was so blinded by rage and heartbreak that anytime he reached out, the first part wasn't that my son would know his father. No, it was; I could finally get back at him for all the pain he left me in.

4 months pregnant, I met you, Papa. I knew of him, but he didn't know of me. I hid in the shadows at the races so no one would know of Nico and me. Upfront with me being pregnant, he just smiled. At 19, your Papa didn't care. We became friends. He knew I was heartbroken and wasn't ready for a relationship.

Yet when I was with him, he was different. Touches, words, feelings, everything with him was different. The kind of love I only wish you can find one day, Ducky. Charles loved you the first moment we met. He taught you how to walk; Cha was your first word. Elijah, our rock, kept us together and refused to let me waste away.

When you said Charles and Lando weren't your fathers, my world crumbled underneath my feet. My hatred and pain fueled your pain of not knowing Nico. But, Ducky, he's not your father. Charles and Lando are. They raised you.

Charles is the one who encouraged you to start karting and protected you. Lando is the one who holds you when you're crumbling. You're their first child and greatest love. No love is more vital than that of a parent and their child. Hate, curse, never speak to me again if you have to, but Elijah, never say they aren't your fathers.

Love,

Your Mama

Blinking, Elijah folds the letter. Standing up from his bed, he creaks open the door, seeing the house pitched in black. Elijah could still hear Cece crying and his Dad's soft words. Walking past, he heads to the main bedroom. Pushing open the door, it creaks.

"Lando? Did she finally fall asleep?" Elijah cringes, hearing his Pa's raw and scratchy voice. "Papa? It's me." A light clicks on, Elijah blinking as he takes in the sight of his real father. "Duc-Elijah? Something wrong?" Charles rubs his eyes, so red that Elijah's throat clamps shut. "I'm," Shuffling his feet, he gathers himself, but looking up, it all breaks.

"I'm so sorry, oh god." Elijah sobs. Charles moves quick off the bed. Without hesitation, Charles crushes him into his chest, cradling him like when Elijah was a toddler. "You're my," He gasps for air, arms squeezing so tight Charles couldn't breathe, but he doesn't care. "You're my father. You've always been my father. Oh god, what did I do?" Elijah sobs, shattering in Charles's arms.

"Breath, breathe for me," Charles whispers, but Elijah shakes his head, moving closer into his Papa's arms. Charles doesn't think twice as he moves Elijah to his bed, laying them down. "I don't hate you," Sobs rattle Elijah's chest as he hides away. "I, I," "Don't, don't say anything," Charles whispers, pinching his eyes as he tries to stop his own tears.

Charles just holds Elijah, unable to let him go as he lets his silent tears fall. "You're my boy, always my baby boy," Charles whispers.

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Taglist: @thomaslefteyebrow @a-stray-soul @formulas-bitch @mickslover @myescapefromthislife @glow-ish @kittyfluffypaws28 @ryntro @copper-boom @allabouthappiness @jaydaaasworld @christianpulisic10 @lyraleclerc @daddyslittlevillain @dreamerrosie @driveswiftly13 @harrysdimple05 @sueesstuff @why4anne @nataliambc @cwiphswmwasohmm @buckybarnessweetheart @makingmyway-downtown

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zegrvshvghes · 11 months

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Cheater, liar, whatever it was or wasn’t it’s over now-NH13

I also do not and would never think that nico is a cheater it’s just for the plot don’t get mad freaks.😛

As I sit here in my empty apartment, tears streaming down my face, I can't help but feel like the biggest fool in the world. How could I have been so blind? How could I have trusted Nico so completely, only to have him betray me in the worst way possible?

I remember the day I discovered his infidelity like it was yesterday. It was a Tuesday, and I had gotten off work early because I wasn't feeling well. I decided to surprise Nico with lunch at his house, thinking it would be a nice pick-me-up for both of us. But what I walked in on was a scene straight out of a nightmare.

There he was, hunched over his kitchen table, his lips locked with a woman I didn't recognize. At first, I thought it was some kind of mistake, that maybe they were just joking around. But then I saw the way Nico's hands were roaming all over her body, and I knew in an instant that there was nothing innocent about what was going on.

I didn't even wait for them to notice me before I turned and ran out of the room, my vision blurred by tears. I don't remember much of what happened after that – just snippets of Nico's voice on the phone, begging me to come back, and me screaming at him, telling him I never wanted to see him again.

The days that followed were a blur of pain and heartache. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't even bring myself to leave the house. I just sat there, staring at the walls, wondering how I was ever going to move on from the man who had once been my everything.

And now here I am, a month later, still reeling from the aftershocks of Nico's betrayal. I've tried to keep busy, to distract myself with work and friends, but it's always there, nagging at the back of my mind. The nights are the worst – I lie in bed, staring up at the ceiling, imagining Nico with that other woman, wondering how many times he'd done it before I caught him.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling particularly weak, I'll pick up the phone and dial Nico's number. He always answers, his voice thick with regret and apologies, but I can never bring myself to say anything. Part of me wants to forgive him, to go back to the way things were before, but the other part knows that I could never trust him again, not after what he did.

I try to tell myself that it's his loss, that he's the one who messed up and lost the best thing that ever happened to him, but it's hard to internalize that when all I feel is the crushing weight of betrayal. How could he do this to me? Didn't he know how much I loved him, how much I trusted him?

And the worst part of it all is knowing that, no matter how much I try to move on, how many new relationships I try to forge, that betrayal will always be a part of me. It will always be lurking in the back of my mind, whispering doubts and fears into my ear. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to fully trust anyone again, not after what Nico did to me.

But for now, all I can do is pick up the pieces and try to move on. It's not easy, and some days it feels impossible, but I know that eventually I'll be able to heal, to find someone who deserves my love and trust. And maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to forgive Nico, even if I can never forget what he did to me.

id get back with nico if he cheated on me a million times i would not care

#nico #hischier #nico hischier #nhl #hockey #nico x trader #nico hischier x reader #njd

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wolffapex · 1 year

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chapter six —when you look at me

there was nothing angel liked more than a good party.

→ words counting: 3,4k → warnings: none → khai’s notes: better late than never, right? i only have one thing to say: next chapter.

Chiara had never been in a Formula 1 paddock before. Therefore, she had to think a little about what kind of clothes to take because she imagined that it would not be a very comfortable environment, even more so with the heat in Abu Dhabi, even though it was a night race.

The driver wanted to take her straight to the Yas Marina Circuit, as Jim had determined, but the brunette asked that a stop be made at The Ritz-Carlton in town because there was no way she could go straight there. without at least showering and changing clothes after twenty-one hours on a flight.

After the shower, looking at the properly made hotel bed, she felt an enormous desire to simply give up pleasing her father and allow herself to lie down on that mattress that was extremely inviting at that moment, but a voice inside her reminded her that she shouldn't do that.

As much as her father always let her delays go by and said he was used to her flightier way, completely different from her brother, she knew that he didn't like it very much and always looked for other ways to try to show him that she was a girl responsible, even if she wasn't as serious and strait-laced as Sam.

The ringing of her cell phone took her out of her own thoughts, making her run around the room wearing only the pants she had just pulled up so she could get the device and see who was on the other end of the line.

— On the way? — Pilar's voice came from the other end of the line and she bit her lower lip for a few moments.

— I'm going to the Ritz to take shower and change clothes. — she replied, putting on the pants she had chosen to wear that night — No way would I go straight after twenty-one hours on a flight.

— You mean, you're going to be late.

— Maybe a little.

— I feel sorry for your future husband. — Pilar laughed — You're going to be a bride who won't be just a little late.

— Until the wedding, he will be used to my way of being. — she shrugged because that was something she didn't care about. For the next ten years, marriage or serious relationships were out of her mind — And if you keep talking to me, I'll be even more late.

— I know your excuses, Angel. — she sighed because she hated the childhood nickname, despite knowing it was in honor of her grandmother. — Do you think you can make it before the race starts?

— You talk as if the race is going to start in five minutes. — she laughed, stopping for a few seconds to mutter — It doesn't start, does it?

— No, we still have an hour and a half to start. — the brunette sighed a little relieved. — But we'll talk to Lewis and Nico.

— Who are them?

— The team drivers, Angel. — she replied as if it were obvious and the younger one laughed.

— Look, even you know more about Formula 1 than I do! — she teased, hearing her mother's laughter — I saw that there is a cute blonde at Red Bull… He caught my attention.

— Oh, Angel, if you are going to choose someone from this universe for yourself, choose someone from the team that your father is sponsoring. — she asked in a low voice — That time you got involved with the boy from City's youth team was enough.

The brunette's laugh made Pilar laugh too, remembering the confusion that had been the day her husband, a fervent Manchester United fan, found out that their daughter was having a relationship with a player from their rival, Manchester City.

— He was handsome, mom!

— But he was a rival. — Pilar laughed, shaking her head — I need to go… Your father is arriving with the head of the team.

— See you in an hour, mom.

— Do not be late.

— I am going to try.

— I'll ask an assistant to wait for you at the entrance with your pass to bring you to hospitality… Or do you prefer to watch from the garage?

— The drivers will be on the track, there will be no more fun in the garage. — she smiled weakly — I watched with you from hospitality.

— Okay… See you soon.

She hung up the call still laughing and put the device aside so she could finish getting ready as quickly as she could because really, this time, she didn't want to be late, even though she knew it would make her feel like a fish out of her depth water on site.

Even when she closed the bedroom door, the urge to go to bed was present in her because she was about to participate in something she didn't like, but she knew it was one of the burdens of the last name she carried and the image that her parents would like to present to the world.

So, there wasn't much choice but to embrace that part of her own world that she didn't like and make the best of it, as she always knew how to do so well.

Inside the Mercedes Class C that took her to the circuit, the brunette smiled to herself, leaning back on the seat and putting her thumb on her lower lip because she knew exactly how to turn a boring environment into something extremely fun and light, like her liked.

Alcohol.

She was sure the setting would serve champagne or, perhaps if she was a little luckier, something stronger, especially if the team won.

Suddenly Ratcliffe laughed at the thought that he would actually have to root for the team to win because she wanted a good party. After all, it would be necessary to celebrate the fact that INEOS is sponsoring the winning team of the year…

And there was nothing Chiara Ratcliffe liked more than a party. With reason to celebrate, she was would be on cloud nine — or hugging the best vodka brands on the planet.

– Come on, Mercedes!

Chiara couldn't say that she watched the race from inside hospitality because she didn't even pay attention to what was broadcast on television, her eyes focused only on her phone screen and her Instagram feed, following what her friends were doing.

However, when the narrator's scream announcing Lewis Hamilton's victory was present in the special, as well as the celebrations of the people in the place, she looked up at the television to follow it a little.

It was during that moment that her eyes went to him.

The podium ceremony was broadcast by the station. Lewis Hamilton had received first place for Mercedes and he was there to receive the constructors' trophy, being soon showered with champagne at the moment of celebration by his driver and the others who were also on the podium, but the brunette didn't care to know a lot about them.

She watched as he embraced Lewis, tipping the champagne bottle over him as well, but her attention was fully on the taller man she didn't know.

Was he a member of the team?

Strategist?

Engineer?

“Damn it, Chiara, why didn't you pay attention a little earlier?”, she asked herself, beating herself up for missing the chance to find out who the handsome stranger was.

Not long after the ceremony ended, Jim and Sam walked into hospitality, also soaking wet from having taken part in the team photos in the garage, but ecstatic from what they had just witnessed.

The english had no doubt that he would unite his company's name with Mercedes in a partnership far greater than just one race. That's because the feeling he had there, experiencing that moment, he wanted to have other times when he saw the team being champion again.

Samuel told the two about the invitations that the family received and Jim made it clear that he would choose to attend the team dinner at the hotel, but preferred not to go to the party that would take place on the rooftop of the Ritz-Carlton, which made the youngest smile widely.

An hour and a half after Mr. Ratcliffe's sentence, the brunette studied her own image in the suite's mirror to see if she had liked the red silk dress she had on her body. This was the second one she'd tried on, but unlike the first, she loved the way it draped over her body, accentuating her curves and making her a little more sensual in just the right places.

She didn't even have to think too much because that was definitely the best look, she could wear that night.

She opted for a lighter make-up, perfecting the red lipstick that was one of her favorites and, when she was satisfied, she looked for her cell phone, leaving the room at the same moment that Samuel approached to knock on her bedroom door.

— You're really trying to get a driver... — the oldest joked after looking her up and down, shaking his head.

— I just got ready to enjoy the night celebrating the title of the new team sponsored by dad. — she replied.

— Mom and dad might believe that, but I don't… — he smiled wryly in her direction. — Are you going to dinner?

— Sometimes I think you don't know me, Sam. — it was her turn to shake her head — Do I look like a woman interested in a meeting disguised as a celebratory dinner? - she laughed — The boring part, I leave it to you.

— It's never too late to think that a little sense has entered your head. — he winked at her.

— I have sense, Samuel.

— That's what you say, Angel.

She rolled her eyes at the comment as he chuckled.

— Be careful, okay? — he smiled in her direction. — When I get out of dinner, I'll stop by to find you and make sure you're okay.

— If I'm around any man, please pretend you don't know me.

— I will come to you. — he pointed her index finger in her direction and the brunette rolled her eyes once more before slamming a hand on his shoulder to push him away.

— Let’s go.

Samuel nodded, laughing as he was shooed away from the bedroom door, and the two siblings walked down the hall of the Ritz-Carlton towards the elevator.

The eldest let the sister enter first, entering the cubicle later, when she had already pressed the button for the rooftop so she could go to the party.

Instrumental music echoed through the speakers in the room and this caused the woman to drum her fingers on the glass as a form of distraction while Samuel arrived with the cell phone in his hands.

When the doors opened and the brunette noticed the loud music from the other room, a smile automatically appeared on her lips and she turned back to say a short goodbye to Samuel.

— Don't do anything I wouldn't do, Angel.

— You know that doesn't work for me, Sam. — she winked, blowing him a kiss and laughing before turning around so she could actually enter the indoor rooftop area.

Chiara took a few minutes to look at the place, first so that she could analyze what was happening, and she smiled when she saw some people already dancing, others drinking to the music that the DJ, on a stage, was playing.

She never had a problem going to a party alone. In fact, she even preferred to be alone than with half-hearted company, as if her brother were there. There was also the fact that none of those people knew her, which gave her the peace of mind to be able to drink and be merry without the slightest bit of guilt or embarrassment in advance.

She pivoted on the stiletto heels she wore, walked towards the bar and smiled in the direction of the bartender who was finishing serving a few other people.

— I want a shot of tequila. — she asked because she always liked to start the night that way and the man nodded, getting ready to pick up the order.

In a few minutes, the tequila, salt and lime were on the counter. The brunette did the ritual, smiling in a satisfied way as she felt the liquid go down her throat, burning the exact way she liked it.

— And now what? — the bartender smiled in her direction and she shrugged, laughing in his direction.

— Give me one more shot and surprise me with a drink that has a lot of alcohol.

— Let me guess… — he pretended to think for a few moments, before resting his arm on the counter. — Your team won today and your personal life is fucked up? — she repeated the words she had heard about thirty minutes ago and the brunette knit her eyebrows, shaking her head from side to side in the middle of a weak laugh.

— Who brought you this tragic story?

— The boss of Mercedes. — he shrugged his shoulders, as if that wasn't a big deal. — I'll get your drink.

She nodded in agreement, although she was stuck on the fact that the person in trouble was the head of the team. Due to her being late the day before and her arrival at Yas Marina, she hadn't had the chance to meet the man, she only remembered hearing his voice when she spoke to her brother over the phone.

While waiting for her drink, the brunette wanted to roll her eyes when she realized that Coldplay's Fix You echoed through the room, internally questioning what kind of DJ was the one that had been hired that put on such a sad song during the happiest night for all the people present.

Chiara laughed, letting her eyes roam the bar and the people who were seated, just like her, sighing weakly as there was no familiar face there. She had never been much of a fan of going to parties alone because she knew that once alcohol got into her body it was very easy to do some shit, but there was also no possibility of being in Abu Dhabi on the day Mercedes won the World Cup. her first title in the new era of Formula 1 and she was not going to participate in that celebration.

By God, there was nothing Chiara Ratcliffe liked more than a good party.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could tell when a man sat down on the empty stool next to her, but she decided not to make too much of him. She was still waiting for her drink to start her night and, after she had her drink in hand, she would scan the field to analyze the options she had.

Soon, her attention was called by the bartender who placed the shot in front of her and she smiled, turning her body so she could face the bar and taking a deep breath before bringing the glass to her lips, swallowing the tequila at once and smiling, with her eyes closed, as she felt the liquid burn her throat the exact way she liked it.

She remained standing in front of the bar and it didn't take long for the waiter to return with a colorful drink, placing it in front of her. The brunette smiled in thanks, turning the stool to the other side so she could face the dance floor once more, before taking her fingers to the straw so she could position it on her lips to try that unknown drink.

Chiara already had a certain resistance to alcohol. It wasn't easy to be knocked down by drinks and, even if she found them too strong, she knew perfectly well to enjoy them and enjoy them as much as she could, without remembering that there would be a day after. And when the next morning came, usually with vows against alcohol, she felt like crap, but she could remember pretty much everything she'd done.

— Hey, boss! — she heard a voice call and turned her face, finding the unknown man who was sitting next to her with his eyes locked on her. A strange feeling seemed to run through her body, especially as he was staring at her blue globes with an unfamiliar glow.

With her index finger raised, she pointed at the bartender, smiling slightly and indicating that the man had been called and he chuckled weakly before turning away. She could still hear him order a triple shot of whiskey as she got up to head towards the dance floor because We Found Love was starting to echo through the room and she wouldn't stand still at a party like that.

It didn't take long for her to be part of a group of unknown women who were also dancing and enjoying the music. The brunette swayed her body to the beat of the music, throwing her arms up and, at times, closing her eyes so she could really feel the beat of the music, moving her hips to the rhythm.

In the middle of dancing, she drank her drink, smiled at the women around her, starting to really enjoy that night the way she was hoping, enjoying the good music the DJ played and the alcohol that the bar provided. It was like she was in paradise because it was everything she loved the most.

Ratcliffe had no idea how long she'd been on the dance floor or how many songs had passed since the Rihanna one that sent her there. She had already danced with several strangers and strangers, listened to unnecessary flirting and finished her first drink of the night. The back of her neck was wet with sweat, which caused her to tie her hair into a bun in an attempt to bring some air into the room, and when Domino began to be touched, she decided it was time to go to the bathroom. bar to get another drink.

The stool she sat on the first time she went to the bar was occupied and, as there were no seats available, she stayed in the corner of the place, trying to attract the bartender's attention so she could place an order. However, her attention was caught at that moment by the fact that the man who had been watching her earlier was still in the same place as before.

At that moment, he was talking to Lewis Hamilton and a few other people who she had no idea who they were, but it certainly didn't seem like a conversation for a relaxed environment like the one they were. She watched the stranger take a sip from a bottle of beer before turning away, totally uninterested in the subject of the circle, bringing his gaze to hers, as if he were really looking for her.

Chiara wasn't crazy to say that she hadn't noticed that, on several occasions when she was dancing, she would find his eyes in her direction. At times, she had even moved towards him just to tease him and try to cause some reaction, but nothing happened and he just continued to watch her.

— Photo! — another man, with a professional camera in hand, approached the unknown group, asking them to join so he could record that moment and the man turned his face away, withdrawing her attention so that he could appear in the photo that would be taken.

This time, her attention was drawn to that moment because the first flash erupted with screams and hisses from parts of them. The distraction of the unknown man meant that she could stare and study him for a few seconds, trying to search her mind if she had seen him before.

When he approached Lewis, placing a hand on the Englishman's shoulders, and holding the trophy with him, it was as if another image had appeared right in front of the brunette: the podium.

It was obvious that she had seen that man before! He had caught her attention at the podium moment after the race, especially when his white Mercedes shirt was completely soaked in champagne.

A new flash broke out and she didn't care about the possibility of walking out in the background of the photo simply with her eyes locked on the unknown man because, suddenly, he had become too interesting for her and she started to care little about the fact that he stays the whole night watching her without taking any action.

She could take that attitude, no problem.

#toto wolff #formula one fanfic #toto wolff fanfic #toto wolff x oc #toto wolff fic #f1 x oc #f1 fanfic #wd

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ask-will-and-nico · 4 months

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Nico's entire being was so, incredibly exhausted, that he didn't dream at all, or, if he did, he didn't remember it. All he remembered was waking up sometime in the middle of the night, needing to pee. He considered waking Will up, but... He didn't want anyone to see him like that. Not that part of him. Still damaged and raw and-... He sighed, and slipped out from the covers. He wished his sword was here, he could use it as a cane, but he made do with the coat rack by the door. It was... Hard, and clunky, but he got there, knees wobbling the whole way, head spinning as he sat on the toilet.

Once he was done, he washed his hands, and found a drachma on the counter. So, he turned the lights on, and the hot water until it was steaming, and tossed it in. "Hazel Levesque." He muttered... Only to be met with 'She's not available right now. Leave a message instead?' Nico felt a lump form in his throat, but he couldn't blame her. It was probably 2 in the morning. So he sighed, and looked back up. "Hey, Hazy. Listen, I just wanted to let you know I'm safe. Will, um... He rescued me. I'm... Not in the best shape, but... I'm on my way. I'm... Sorry I couldn't make it for your birthday. I'll, um... I'll explain more in person. Love you, bye."

Nico felt his cheeks warm when he went back to the little cabin and found Will sitting upright, rubbing his eyes. “Nico?” He called. Hopefully he’d just woken up, Nico didn’t want to scare Will that he was gone again. He hadn’t thought of that when he’d gotten up. “It’s okay, I’m here, just had to go to the bathroom,” Nico said. He all but collapsed onto the bed next to Will. His chest burned, and his best guess was broken ribs, he’d had enough experience to know what those felt like. He was sure Will knew the extent, but he wasn’t sure he had it in him to ask. Will made grabby hands for him, and Nico was happy to oblige that. “Should’ve woken me up,” Will mumbled. He wrapped his arms around Nico without hesitation, this time tucking his own head in the juncture between Nico’s neck and shoulder. Nico smiled.

“You were sleeping so peacefully. Didn’t want to disturb that,” Nico said. He didn’t want to tell Will it was because he wasn’t feeling like he could expose himself like that again. Not even to Will. Not right now. Will mumbled a little hum, pressing a kiss to Nico’s neck. “Hands are all bundled. Did you wash ‘em?” Will asked. Nico couldn’t lie then, because Will was right. His hands were mummified for reasons he didn’t quite know. “No,” he said honestly, which made Will snort.

#asks #mini fic 10

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doevademe · 2 years

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Been rereading all of your little prompts (because holy shit they're all amazing) and the one idea of misunderstandings through memory manipulation is really great. Either the whole Percy remembers Nico's name instead of Annabeth (So much longing and so much confusion afterwards) but there's another scenario I was given by a friend. The whole fake dating memories but it's Percico. Oh God the angst. And technically whoever did it knows that they didn't need to fake Nico's memories but they did it or otherwise he wouldn't lie about it. Kudos if technically barely any new memories were added and it just changed a few things that were already there and if Percy is told that Nico didn't need the fake memories to love him

Either scenario is fine but I wanted to see your spin on it.

Percy felt like he was going to hurl.

The empty vial of gorgon blood was on the floor now, broken. Nico had to take half to cure his wounds from the harpies when they helped Ella.

Oh gods. Nico...

Beside him, the son of Hades had turned white as a sheet of paper. He let go of Percy's hand as if it burned. Percy did nothing to stop it.

"What's wrong guys?" Hazel asked, looking between her brother and his boyfriend worriedly.

"T-this... this is all wrong," Nico said. He looked at Percy pleadingly. "I- I didn't know! I swear!"

"What's going on?" Frank asked, eyes going back and forth quickly.

"We... Nico and I... we were never..." Percy tried.

"A god played a prank," Nico said, voice tight. "Percy and I... were never together."

Percy cursed. He knew things had been going too well. He had arrived at New Rome chasing his only memory, his boyfriend Nico, only to find out he was the brother of his newest friend Hazel. They had laughed, cried, kissed... and when Mars had showed up and demanded a quest after the War Games, Nico had insisted to come with them, even if he wasn't part of the Legion.

"It will still be three, then. I'll be a plus one," he had reasoned with the senate. "I won't lose him again."

Everything was perfect. Nico and Percy worked perfectly together. They never even questioned why Percy remembered their relationship so vividly when all other memories were nothing but a haze. Percy had just assumed that their relationship was so important Juno couldn't take it away.

Now he knew better.

"Fake memories," Nico said bitterly. "I... I need to go."

"Wait!" Percy said. Now he knew the truth but... most of the memories had remained intact. Their time in the Labyrinth, looking for the Sword of Hades together, their trip to make him invulnerable...

He still felt something for Nico.

"I can't stay here, Percy," Nico said, face showing nothing but pain. "You can yell at me another time..."

"But... the quest," Hazel said, making both of them aware of their audience once again. "You are on a quest with us, Nico."

"I'm not part of the Legion," Nico reminded her. "Technically, I'm not part of the quest."

"Things have been so much easier with you around, though," Frank said. "We need you."

"Truth is, I had something to look into before I decided to join you guys," Nico said. "I need to do that, and there's no real reason for me to stay."

He glanced at Percy again, and the son of Poseidon knew then. It was up to him. He had the power to make Nico stay.

"I want you to stay," he said. He wanted to untangle the fake from the real, to find out what he really felt for Nico. He wanted to know if Nico felt something for him. "Please..."

The longing in his voice was easy to pick up.

Nico looked sadly at him. He shook his head.

"Oh, Percy," he said. Percy noticed the shadows gathering around his not-boyfriend. "You must know... you drank the blood."

"I don't care! Nico, I'm..."

"You must remember Annabeth by now," he said before the shadows swallowed him whole.

This time, Percy did hurl.

----

Hazel sat beside him on the ratty bed that, decades ago, used to be hers. They were cleaning themselves up after Gaia had almost buried them alive.

"Nico's... in Tartarus?" Percy asked, voice trembling. Hazel nodded. "He's such an... idiot!"

"You still like him," Hazel guessed. Percy did not deny it. "What about your real girlfriend?"

"I... I don't know," Percy said helplessly. "I don't know anything anymore! Getting my memories back was supposed to make things clearer not... make an even bigger mess!"

"I don't know this Annabeth," Hazel said. "But I know my brother, and I've never seen him as happy as when he was with you."

"It was the fake memories," Percy said. "Nico hates me. He can't stand me."

"Before he even mentioned you, he was always... longing," Hazel said. "He always looked like he was looking for something, for someone... then one day, he told me he had a boyfriend, but that he was lost... and I understood his longing."

"It must have been—"

"You told me that your memories with Nico were barely altered," she interrupted him. "Just an added kiss or hug that didn't exist. Is it so crazy to think that it was the same for him?"

"...I don't know," Percy admittted. "What should I do, Hazel?"

"You choose," she said firmly. "Your girlfriend, or my brother. You don't have to do it now, but you have to do it... then, we'll rescue Nico, and you'll tell him what you chose."

Percy looked at her for a few seconds, he nodded.

"So, where to next?" Frank asked as he came out of the bathroom, as clean as the old house and cleaning supplies allowed him.

Percy looked at Hazel once more before turning to Frank.

"We go further North," Percy said, determined.

He had a quest to complete, a boy to save, and a choice to make.

#Percico #my writing #writing prompt #there's one more #but I'll do it tomorrow #this one just called to me #ask #rosabell14

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depressedacadamia · 3 years

Text

Lightweight

Summary: Will Solace can’t realy hold his alcohol but Nico doesn’t really mind.

A/N: 2 fics in one week? Oh my gods, who is this writer and what have they done with Persephone? Enjoyy yall- I really enjoyed writing this one!

Read on A03

“Hands off sunshine!” Nico warned as he held the bottle of vodka above his head, his arms outstretched.

“Give meee!” Will cried, his hand sloppily hitting Nico’s arm. The summer air was warm and Nico could feel the thin layer of sweat on his forehead- considering he had to stay in his tiptoes to hold the bottle above Will.

“Will, you didn’t even drink that much! How are you so drunk?”

“You don’t love me! Do you love me?”

“Of course I love you, ya little drunk shithead. You are totally wasted, no matter how many times you will doubt it,” Nico sighed, throwing Will’s arms over his shoulders in a vain attempt to carry him back to Cabin 7.

Will gave one long blink. Then another. “ Where are we going?”

“To your cabin. I’d shadow travel but I've seen a regular person’s reaction to that, I don’t want to see what chaos would come out of shadow travelling a hot drunken mess.”

“Did you just call me a mess?” Will pouted.

“Yes but I called you a hot mess. Focus on that part. It was mostly a compliment.”

“You’re sooo mean to meee. Do you even love me?”

“Yes I love you, stop being so heavy and carry your own legs please.” Nico shifted his back under the weight of his boyfriend's entire body and tried to manage a few steps- they would have been easy if his boyfriend wasn’t so damn fit and if he himself wasn’t slightly inebriated.

“Ni-” Will hiccuped. “-Co!”

“Yes?”

“Do you love me?”

Nico sighed again, slightly frustrated by the constant question. “Yes I love you, ask again and the answer may vary.”

“Phi Phi is so much nicer than you,” Will grumbled, his head leaning into the crook of Nico’s neck. Nico could smell the twinge of alcohol in Will’s breath along with the regular smell of the spearmint gum he would always be chewing.

“Phi Phi?” Nico snorted. “ Who in the name of God is that?”

“Your stepma! Phi Phi! She gave me so many nice flowers last time we visited!” Will paused before giving Nico an innocent look of disapproval. “ Do you not remember Phi Phii?”

Will accidentally dragged out the last ‘ee’ syllable in the word ‘phi phi’ making it sound like he was a 3 year old trying to read for the first time. Nico almost shivered at the mention of his stepmother; the last time he checked, she still had at least 157 variations of dandelions that she could turn him into the second he did anything going against her liking- afterall, she may have been the Goddess of the Spring but she was still the Queen of the Underworld.

“Yes, of course I remember Phi Phi.” He lowered his voice as he muttered the next few words under his breath to prevent them from being heard. “ How could I forget her and her stupid dandelions?”

“Phee Pheeee!”

“What about Phi Phi?”

Will paused for a few seconds. He tilted his head looking at Nico. “ Do you love me?”

Nico, awfully frustrated, decided to not answer the question honestly. “ No, I do not love you right now. Drunk you is a mess whom not only subject hops but also cannot walk coordinately.”

Nico did not think Will would take anything he said seriously but to his horror he was greatly mistaken. Will’s slow and steady breathing quickly became a rapid torrent of quick and unsteady breathing. Nico had thought that he was just mucking about but then he felt warm tears stain his shirt.

Tears streamed down Will’s flushed face, his freckles were almost invisible as the tears continued running down his face like a current. His chest racked with sobs and he pulled away from Nico and collapsed on the ground. He buried his head in his hands and let his heart beat harder with every cry that left his lips.

Nico watched, his mouth dropped. He had no idea what he had done or how to make it better. He reached out, trying to console the drunk and overly emotional Will but instead found himself feeling guilt beyond any he had ever felt before.

“Will?” He whispered. “ Will? You’re drunk. I was just joking, I didn’t mean anything I just said.”

Will's loud sobs started to slowly quieten down but the tears still freely ran across his face. He glanced upwards at Nico, his eyes rimmed red. His bottom lip wobbled and his eyes were wet.

“But.. but you said that you don’t love me…”

“I was joking. I was lying. I do love you. Only you.”

Nico plopped himself beside Will and shuffled himself closer, awkwardly. He tried to wrap one of his arms around Will but he found it to be too short and only barely touched Will’s other shoulder. So instead, he settled for rubbing soothing circles on Will’s back, calming him and forcing him to breathe slower.

“How do I know you are not lying to me now?” Will’s eyes were innocent and once again brimming with tears. “I always worry that you're just lying to me and then one day you’re going to just go poof and stupid me will be all sad.”

Nico thought he could feel his own eyes stinging- was this how Will really felt? Was Nico that bad a boyfriend that Will felt that every word, every kiss, every moment was a lie? Or did Will just consider himself so unloveable that every good thing that ever happened to him was just temporary or fake?

Nico glanced at the blonde eyelashes that were clad together with tears.

What happens inside that gorgeous head of yours, Solace?

“I love you William Andrew Solace. I choose you. You’re my significant other, significant annoyance- whatever you want to call it. And if I ever disappear, you’re sure as hell coming with me.”

Will wrapped his arms tightly and unexpectedly around Nico’s waist- causing Nico to be pushed onto his back while Will snuggled into his abdomen. Nico could feel his t-shirt stick to him due to the tears from Will’s face.

“I love you soooo much,” Will murmured into Nico’s stomach. Nico could feel his breathing hitch at the words. Nico kissed Will- light and innocent. That's what the kiss meant. He could taste the salty tears on Will’s lips and the bitter aftertaste of the vodka on his tongue. The kiss was quick, chaste and it may have not satisfied Will’s desire but it made him feel safe.

And to both of them, that’s all that mattered.

Will awoke the next morning with several life regrets but none as strong as the stupid amount of alcohol he had decided to consume the previous day or night. He could barely remember anything- let alone figure out where in the name of Zeus he was. The cabin seemed dreary but at the same time it was beautiful. It was dark and light and terrifying and beautiful all at the same time.

Wait. What Cabin was this? Whose Cabin was this? He didn’t think there was any Cabin that was so roomy with such a lack of accommodation. He almost felt like he was in a Cabin for a child of the Big Three- He remembered the one time he had taken a glimpse of the Poseidon Cabin and he remembered it to be huge- something he deeply envied Percy for.

It was only until Will noticed the black clad figure kneeling beside him that he realised where exactly he was. Beautifully tousled hair, gorgeous lips and eyes that one could get lost in forever- he only knew one person with features so defining. The question was, what on earth was he doing in Cabin 13?

Cabin 13- His boyfriend's cabin. Immediately, Will scrambled upwards. He looked Nico straight in the eye and tried to recall to what extent he embarrassed himself as a drunken idiot last night.

“How bad was it?”

“Shall I sugar coat it or give it to you straight?”

Will managed to squeak out, “Give it to me straight.”

“You tried to get into my pants and talked about how hot you thought I was.” Nico shrugged nonchalantly.

Will blanched and he immediately wished that had asked for the sugar coated version. He heard Nico laughing and he could feel his nerves both calm down and panic at the same time. Nico’s laugh was calming and beautiful and warm and made him feel all fuzzy like he was under a fluffy blanket. But he worried for what reason Nico was laughing.

“Calm down sunshine. I was joking- you should have known that I wouldn’t have been able to give it to you straight. You just asked dumb questions and cried a bit.”

“I cried?”

“It’s not a big deal.” Nico batted his hand. Will collapsed back onto the bed with an ‘ow’ and groaned something unintelligible about it being ‘too early in the morning for this’.

“It’s actually 1 in the afternoon but to each their own I guess.”

Will wanted to shout WHAT but he did not want to rack his head with an already painful headache so he instead settled for dropping his jaw.

“Close your mouth sunshine unless you plan on using it,” Nico mumbled. Will felt his jaw drop further before he snapped it back and swore internally. He made a mental note to never have a hangover near Nico because he would use it to his advantage.

“So why exactly did I cry yesterday?” Will asked as he sipped from the glass of water that had been placed at the bedside by, he could only assume, Nico. Will noticed that when asked that question, Nico tensed, his hands digging slightly into his jeans.

The corner of Will’s lips tilted upwards. “ What did you say?”

“What makes you think I said anything? Drunk you is a crybaby and you know it,” Nico huffed defensively, refusing to meet Will's eye.

“Yeah but you’re acting guilty.”

“What if I killed some boring skeleton zombie this morning and I’m only now mourning their already dead body?”

“Spare me the dark and frankly dry humour,” Will deadpanned, excited to hear the cause of his outburst yesterday.

Nico mumbled something under his breath, all while looking away from Will.

“What?”

“I said,'' Nico took a deep breath. “That I didn't love you-”

“-What?”

“But it was a joke!”

Will could feel his stomach churning and he couldn't tell if it was from the hangover or the current situation. He managed to resist a gag. “How is that a joke?”

Will’s voice was so hoarse and weak, Nico thought that he was going to break into tears all over again and he knew that if that happened, he would end up with tears flooding his own face.

“It’s because, well, drunk you kept on asking Do you love me and of course I do but drunk you is just so heavy and you kept on asking and so I of course gave a sarcastic quip and you just burst into tears and..”

Will stared at Nico and for a second, Nico was terrified that he had really blown it.He watched as his boyfriend buried his face into his hands and began shaking. His back was shivering and Nico could hear little whimpers.

“Fuck.” Nico had subconsciously let the profanity pass through his lips.

Will, suddenly, threw his head back and his laugh echoed around the empty Cabin 13. Nico felt stuned. Was he laughing in rage? Should he run?

“Will. I am so so sorry. I swear, it was a joke. I love you, I chose you William Andrew Solace. I’ll do it again and again.”

“You,” Will wheezed. “ Idiot! Did you really get so worked up over drunk me being dramatic? I was being hyperbolic!”

Nico tilted his head ever so slightly but his ravenous locks still fell over his eyes however he didn’t seem to mind as he made no effort to move it from his sight.

“So… you aren’t mad?”

“I mean I won’t reject any special treatment if you were thinking of offering as a way of showing your sorrow,” Will teased.

“Shut it.” Nico pouted. “ Do I not get a dramatic love confession? I gave you two.”

Will raised his eyebrow and threw his legs over the edge of the bed. “ If I can count correctly, and I can, I only recall one dramatic love confession.”

“You were too drunk to remember the first one.”

Will let out a groan before softly smiling.”I love you. I choose you, Nicolo Di Angelo.”

“Don’t call me Nicolo!”

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aleksa-sims · 2 years

Photo

My RL gameplay (18+)

CW addiction

Two hours later Nico came and I had calmed down a bit. N. wanted to get this thing straight with my dad, which I thought was totally crazy. Yeah, I told my dad everything, and I had nothing to worry about. But of course, I left out a few details. My dad doesn’t necessarily need to know, that I was in bed with N. & P., I mean with both of them. He just knows, that I have a relationship with P. too now. I warned N. on the phone and asked him to let this little detail out.

Dad: That you dare, to show up here, after what you did to to my daughter...and the shit you’ve done in my house, I should just kick you out rn! 😒

Nico: Sorry, but WHAT have I done so bad in your house? 🤨 🤷‍♂️ I was just trying to help her.

Dad: I don’t want to argue about the past with you anymore N., but before I go any further, I want to know one thing! What happened that day, when you almost broke your hand and hit a wall. 😠 You were alone with A. in your apartment.

Me: Dad! 😧 🤦‍♀️ That was nothing! And this has nothing to do with my current situation!

Dad: I need to know, if I can trust N.! I want to understand, why he was so angry and aggressive all the time.

Nico: I have no reason to lie to you, but I would blame A. if I told you what happened that day. But one thing is for sure! I didn’t touch her or hurt her!

Dad: You both have to be honest with me, so we can help A. I’m just trying to understand you! I want to be able to trust you.

Nico: First of all A. was not there, when I hit this....fucking wall! But she was the trigger for my rage and P. was with me! She lied to me and betrayed me, to get stoned with Sofia, a heroin addict. 😠 And this wasn’t the first time A. lied to me! Even our first night together, that damned graduation party, where everything just went wrong. I’ve seen how A. took drugs and with what kind of people she was.🤨

Dad: I remember exactly when A. came home, after that one night with YOU! She was all fucked up and looked like you did the worst things to her. 😠 You just left her like a....poor dog in front of the house and ran away. Why Nico? She cried & told me and her mom how much she loves you and that she doesn’t want to live without you. And just a few hours before that, her school called us and told us that you started a mass brawl. Just so you understand, why I couldn’t stand you!

Nico: Fuck!🤦‍♂️ ....Yeah, ok I shouldn’t have left her alone when she got home, but I had bruises everywhere. I was beaten up by 5 fuckers from A.’s class! I also looked totally fucked up. I didn’t want you to see me like this with her.

Dad: And one more thing, N.! You can’t possess anyone!!! That’s not how you treat someone you love! 😠

Me: I think this was my fault and not his. I wanted him to love me as much as I love him and I didn’t know how to tell or show him that. 😟

Nico: No, babe! I wanted this too, and ...I still want it 😉 😬 BUT ok! I understand what your dad means. I got it! You’re gonna have to manage on your own, without me.

Dad: Now, tell me what the fuck is going on with Philip?

Nico: Look, this is a very personal thing! 😳 But I saw how well A. & P. get along and the two spent a lot of time together, even when I was away, last time. And I trust Philip! I wanted her to be fine and not be alone when I was gone.

Dad: First you say you want A. just for yourself, and then... one day you just decided to share her with P .? 🤨 🤷‍♂️

Nico: There was a bit more to, why I wanted this, but I can NOT discuss this with you. But A. was not forced to do anything and I asked her dozens of times, if she really wants this. And belive me, she loves Philip & he loves her. So....yeah. 😕

Dad: This is your business and you guys need to work this out, because A., is not well, as you may have already noticed yourself.

Nico: I know! 😔 We have to sort this out with Philip, and we will, today!

Dad: But A., should definitely stay here with us for a while. She confessed to me, that she can’t last much longer, she’s afraid of relapsing. 😞

Nico: Is this true, babe?😟 .......And you want to leave me, or what? 😧

Me: No, ILY! 😢 But I’m not well N.! 😞 😢 I know that once you’re gone, I’ll be worse again.

Nico: Shit! 😨 But-...why? Is this because of me? Because I told you about that yoga ex? 🤷‍♂️

Me: No, but I just can’t take it anymore and I don’t think Philip either. He wanted to leave me yesterday! I’m afraid, I’ll lose him. Since you left, it’s just been hard for me.😢

Nico: Damn!🤦‍♂️ ... Ok, and what should we do now? I’ve..... tried everything! 🤷‍♂️ 😨 I’m just... tired. I mean, you were clean and stable for six months, and I could even get you to go down with your pills. But now... Idk what to do either! I can’t be there for you and that’s killing me.

Dad: You’ve done enough, N.! 😟 And you two aren’t alone either! A.’s got me and her mom! Who if not us, should take care of her while you’re gone.

Nico: I know! But.. she never wanted this! 😧 🤷‍♂️ She always started crying when I suggested, she should come to you while I’m away. She just won’t listen. 🙁 But I’ve seen her listen to Philip! She does what he says and he does it really well. Philip is taking good care of her! And believe me, I trust Philip, otherwise I would never have left A. alone with him. 😔

Dad: I wanna to talk to Philip too. We will take care of A., but she should move in with us for a while. Believe me, Nico, that’s for the best. I will take 2 weeks off and drive her to this addiction clinic. If I have to, every day! There she gets the right help! The doctors there know what to do! This is a psychiatric hospital for drug addicts, and unfortunately, A. needs such a treatment. And after that, her mom will stay home with her for two weeks. Philip can come here any time he wants, and so can you!

Nico: Ok......Babe? Are you ok? 🙁

Me: Idk? But I’m scared, N.! I have those dreams again, you know? 😰

Nico: This is just your sleep paralysis! This dark figure sitting on our bed while we sleep?

Me: Yes, and now, I think I know who this shadow is. But this is not all, I also dream other bad things. And whenever I had those... phases, something very bad happened after this, ask my dad and my mom if you don’t believe me. 😩 😰

Dad: Yes, but this was just coincidence, A.! 😕You're just working yourself up. Everything will be fine, I promise you! 😟

Nico: Yeah, babe, your dad is right! Such... things do not exist! Only you yourself decide whether you want to let this happen or not!

Dad: That means you’re supporting my decision to keep A. here while you’re abroad? I want to know, if I can count on your support. And this thing with Philip, I want you to clear this up! That was totally wrong and dumb of you! I don’t care how you decide and how this thing goes, as long as you treat my daughter with respect! You’re lucky I like Philip, and I know he’s okay, otherwise..... you’d be dead now! 🤨

Nico: It’s ok, man. And I apologize for my.... outbursts and everything I said wrong to you.

Dad: Same!.... Ok, guys! As soon as you’re gone N., A. comes to us. I’m going to pick up your mom A.! I’ll be back in an hour.

Me: Yeah, it’s ok!.....N.? I’m so sorry! 😞

Nico: I know you don’t want this! Living here, so I’m afraid, this may just make things worse for you.🙁 But Idk what to do!🤦‍♂️ That’s why I trust your dad.

Me: I’m afraid too! But more to lose you or P.

Nico: I can fix this with Philip. Just....trust me. I need to talk to him. And I don’t want you to go to nightclubs with Ana! That’s why you need P.! You’re gonna need a friend, and I only trust him. I’d rather to quit soccer and go back to the army, so we could stay together in our apartment.

Me: No! 😲This is the biggest crap you’ve ever said N.! 🤨 I don’t want this! 😟

Nico: But it’s true! I just don’t enjoy it anymore. 😞 I know how much you hate this! To live here! But...because of soccer, I can’t be there for you. That’s why....I feel so fucking bad. I love you and I just want you to be fine.😔 And somehow I feel guilty, I feel like you relapsed because of me, because I wanted you to sleep with Philip.

Me: What are you talking about? 😧 You really don’t need to feel bad about me N.! I don’t want this for you! ILY! And nothing was your fault! Did you hear?

Nico: Yeah....

So much is going to happen tomorrow. I’m going to disappoint N., and between the two of us, it’s going to end for a long time, before we meet again. But also between P. & me, a lot will happen. P. will also have to leave for a while, but of course, he will come back and....ugh, you’ll see! Just so much: I will have a baby with Nico as you know, but he will almost never be home (soccer) so I went to P. with my baby. 🤷‍♀️ Thats why a lot of people thought P. was my son’s dad, which made N. really mad! N. had to make an important decision. And we needed a solution for all three of us! I know! 🤦‍♀️..... But it’s gonna work out somehow. 😟 🤷‍♀️

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#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #my rl with my simself #simself #myrlgameplay #18+ content #cw addiction #cw sleep paralysis

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happyandticklish · 3 years

Text

Wake Up Call

Notes: For the anon request. I know the time in which I’m accomplishing some of these fics is taking longer, which is mostly due to needing to do life stuff along with this, but I still have a lot of fun writing them! Hope you enjoy~

Summary: Sometimes Nico has a hard time getting up in the morning, but Will has just the thing to help.

Warm sunlight filtered through his vision, making the boy squint his eyes in vague irritation. The lull of sleep tugged at him, and Nico groaned, turning around to hide his face in his boyfriend’s chest. He wondered what time it was. Whatever the answer, certainly too early to be awake. He wrapped his arms around the other, tugging him closer as he allowed unconsciousness to drag him under once more.

“Hey there,” a voice whispered into his hair, followed by a gentle kiss. “How’d you sleep?”

“Still trying to,” Nico grumbled in response, the effort of forming the words already too much for his jumbled mind. Waking up next to Will was becoming a more and more common occurrence—but really, could you blame Nico when the former happened to be the most comfortable pillow in the whole camp? “What time is it?”

Nico felt Will shift against him as he checked the clock on the wall. Vaguely, Nico assessed that the two were curled up in one of the many cots in the infirmary. He wasn’t sure entirely how they had got there, but he was certain it was a location they were not supposed to be in.

“Eh… seven,” Will replied, squinting a bit at the numbers.

“Seven?!” Nico exclaimed, his words ringing with disgust. “And you woke me up why exactly?”

“Oh, so you wanna be the one to explain to Chiron why the two of us were in here?” Will asked, arching an eyebrow at the other.

“You’re a doctor,” Nico pointed out, his words mumbled as he attempted to put himself back in the peaceful state he had been in before. “It’s an infirmary. What’s the problem?”

“The ‘problem’ is that I’m not supposed to be here overnight, and definitely not with a child of Hades in tow.”

“Mmm.”

Will sighed resignedly as he took in the other, the latter of which was clearly holding no intentions of moving. Seven was too late already. Technically, the others should be showing up around now, but his cabin had a habit of arriving late to opening time. He glanced anxiously towards the door, and then back down at his dozing boyfriend. However, as he did so he took in the way his shirt had rucked up in the fitful shifting of the night, revealing a pale sliver of his stomach. With his arms wrapped around Will’s neck and his eyes shut, he was entirely vulnerable to the idea formulating in Will’s mind.

“Nico~” he sing-songed, his hand drifting slowly down to his sides from where it had rested on the other’s back. “I really think you should get up now.”

Nico grunted, hardly taking in his words in his hazy state of mind.

Will grinned, almost pleased that the other had left him with such an open oppurtunity. “Alright then. But just remember, what happens next is on you.”

Nico twitched when fingers drew lightly up his side, pushing his shirt further up. A small smile slid onto his features as the tracing turned into light scratching. “No,” he muttered under his breath, though he declined to block the touch, choosing instead to merely hold onto the blond tighter. “Will…”

“Hmm?”

“C’mon—” Nico was squirming now, the light sensations making his already fuzzy brain turn to mush. “I-It—don’t!”

“You’re not making any sense, I’m afraid,” Will tsked, walking his fingers down to his stomach and scribbling lightly over the skin. “You’re gonna have to use complete sentences if you want me to understand what you’re saying.”

Nico squeezed his eyes shut, choked giggles escaping him despite himself. He attempted to draw his legs up, but with the way he was pressed against Will, curling up was impossible. That left his stomach entirely vulnerable to attack; it wasn’t his worst spot, but it was inexplicably unbearable in its own way.

“Wihihill!”

“Nico.”

Whatever Nico’s next sentence might have been, it broke off into frustrated garbling as the scribbling turned into playful poking.

“C’mon Nico,” Will teased, increasing the frenzy of the pokes so that Nico squeaked, his arm almost coming down to block him before grabbing around Will’s neck once more. “You know how to end this. You don’t want to get caught like this, do you?”

The idea of anyone seeing him in such a state was one that normally Nico would revolt at instantly. In the moment, however, he found that he was too tired to think about future consequences when the appeal of staying in the warm, comfortable bed, laughing into Will’s embrace, was as strong as it was. It had been a while since Will had pulled anything like this with the other, and Nico wasn’t rushing to end it so soon.

Will seemed to pick up on Nico’s reluctance, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, I see. Are you enjoying yourself, Mr. Ghost King? Hmm? Do you like being tickled, is that what it is?”

Warmth spread across Nico’s features, his stomach erupting into nerves at the revelation. It didn’t help that Will had slowed down the tickling in order for him to answer. “I—uh, no, of course not.” He fiddled with the back of Will’s shirt as he answered, still hiding his face in the hopes that it come somehow make the conversation easier to accomplish.

“Really?” Will’s words were laced with doubt. One hand rubbed up and down his side, a switch from the tickling from seconds before, in what was most likely meant to be a comforting gesture. Nico couldn’t help but twitch and tense every time his hand strayed too far from his path, however. “Because I couldn’t help but notice that you didn’t try to stop me once while I was tickling you.”

Nico froze, his heart racing as he was caught in his lie. He opened his mouth, struggling to find some way to get himself out of the situation he had led himself into. Before he could, however, Will interjected hurriedly.

“It’s okay if you do, you know,” Will reassured him. “You don’t have to be ashamed of it or anything. Lots of people like to be tickled—it’s a normal way of showing and receiving affection. Not to mention,” he added slowly, gently tweaking his side so that the other let out a startled yelp. “You’re awfully cute all giggly and squirmy like this.”

Nico’s blush worsened, but relief coursed through him with a cool assurance. After a moment of hesitating silence, he muttered, “I don’t… not like it. What, uh, what you were doing, I mean.”

Will blinked, having not expected such an honest answer. Gratitude zipped through him, spreading a pleasant warmth throughout his body. He knew the other probably wouldn’t have been as open with him if it wasn’t still the early hours of the morning, and for a moment, he worried that Nico was going to be angry with him for prompting the confession. But as he watched the curled in position of the other, his gaze focused intently anywhere but Will, he realized that Nico was more nervous than anything else, as though he were worried that Will was going to be the angry one.

“Hey.” Nico frowned as Will sat up, grasping his hand firmly. “Thanks. For telling me that is. It means a lot to me that you were willing to share this with me.”

“Oh,” Nico replied slowly, unfurling from his position with a confused stare. “Yeah, uh, no problem. I guess. You’re not… I mean, you don’t think it’s weird?”

“Nico, you summon people from the dead. Your chauffeur is a zombie. We live in a world of myth and monsters, and you still think that playing with the Pokémon versions of that is cooler. Liking tickling is the least weird thing about you.”

“Thanks,” Nico replied dryly.

Will pulled him closer, kissing the tips of his fingers lightly. Nico wrinkled his nose at the affectionate gesture, but there was a faint pink dusted across his features all the same. “This is just one more thing about you to love. And you know what the best part about all of this is?”

“What?” Nico asked hesitantly, trying not to focus on Will’s face, let alone his lips, inches away from his own.

“I get to do this whenever I want to!”

Hands were shoved suddenly under Nico’s shirt, climbing his sides and sneaking under his arms. Nico squawked, caught off guard by the sudden attack, and flailed back in an unsuccessful attempt to retreat. “Wihihill! Wahahahait!”

“No, I don’t think I will. I’m having too much fun, you see. Besides, I thought you said you liked it. Do you really want me to stop?”

Nico blushed, giggling uncontrollably as he attempted to tug Will’s arms away from his armpits. “Thahahat’s nahahahat fahahair!” he squeaked, falling backwards on the bed at last in an act of desperation. His hands were holding Will’s wrists loosely, tugging every once in a while unsuccessfully. His head was thrown back in a wild grin as carefree laughter spilled from his lips. Will’s heart swooped unsteadily in his chest, the sight of Nico like this first thing in the morning too much for him to handle. Consequently, he almost didn’t notice the voice ringing through the infirmary seconds later, echoing in the hall.

“Will? Are you in there? I thought I heard a noise.”

Will nearly gave himself whiplash from how fast he jerked back from the other, pulling Nico onto his chest on accident as the other’s hands were still locked about his arms. Nico’s face had dropped into that of cautious alarm, but there was still light dancing in his eyes, casting a content glow to his face.

Will cursed, letting out a disappointed groan. “Kayla. Dammit. We should probably get out of here so I don’t get you in trouble.”

“Me in trouble?” Nico exclaimed indignantly as Will pulled him off the bed, each of them struggling to kick the covers off of themselves. “Wasn’t it your idea to come here in the first—”

“Details, details,” Will interrupted quickly. “Now, do you want to get caught or not?”

Nico sighed, but followed him in a run as the two attempted to sneak out through the back doors.

In the end, Kayla ended up catching them and the two got put on Pegasus detail for the next two weeks. But Will decided it was all worth it, in the end, if it meant he got to hear the other’s laughter once more.

#tickle fic #solangelo #nico di angelo #will solace #pjo #hoo #trials of apollo #fanfiction #fic request #requests #tickling #percy jackson

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blackrose343 · 3 years

Text

Something Different

Warnings: None

Devil May Cry - Vergil x GN! Reader

Fanfic Summary: Everyday has been feeling the same. So you decided to do something different tonight: play Scrabble.

1,387 words

I started to play Scrabble recently with my boyfriend and family. While playing, I thought this would be a cute date night idea with Vergil.

Note: If I remember correctly, I think today’s Scrabble game comes in a red box. The Scrabble game in this fanfic is based on the one I have. It’s an old deluxe version with a lazy Susan built into it. (That came in a blue box.)

Barely audible classical music greeted you from your hard day at work. As always you found Vergil on the couch reading his book. Without looking up, Vergil motioned for you to join him. Eagerly, you made your way to the couch. Vergil lifted his arm so you could cuddle with him. You plopped on the couch, gave him a kiss, then rested your head on his shoulder. Once you were settled, Vergil read to you.

Vergil’s calming voice was always welcomed but you wished he would read something else once in a while. He read this book so many times, he could recite the whole thing from memory. You never said anything because you understood the importance of the book. It was just that it was becoming a bit too...boring? No, you always enjoyed listening to poems by William Blake. You just wanted to listen to something different once in a while.

Now that you were thinking about it, you started to realize your life was currently on repeat. Wake up, go to work, spend the evening with Vergil, and go to bed. Each evening with Vergil was the same: dinner, then cuddle on the couch. There were occasional date nights here and there. Just not often enough for your liking. Maybe you needed more of those. Or just something different to do.

What else is there to do that both of you would enjoy? TV? No, Vergil wasn't too fond of it. Take a walk? Not now, it was pouring. Play a game? Maybe...Does Vergil know how to play any? You had an inkling Vergil might not be too familiar with videogames. He was still getting used to technology with Nero's and Nico's help. The only other option was board games or playing cards.

You tapped Vergil indicating you needed to get up. You headed straight for your junk drawer in the kitchen. Your search for playing cards interfered with the music playing and Vergil’s reading. You tried your best to be as quiet as possible. The rustling of items ruined your attempt to do so. After taking your arm out empty handed, you darted to the bedroom. Vergil looked at you quizzically, wondering what you were up to.

After searching your nightstand, you gave up looking for the playing cards. You opened your closet, eyeing all your board games. Most games you had would be fun with 3 or more people. Some you weren't sure if Vergil would be interested in (or understand).

You rearranged your games to get a better view of the ones in the back. Little dust clouds attacked your face. You waved your hand back and forth during a coughing fit. Near the end, Vergil entered the room to see if you were okay. “Dear, are you-”

"THERE IT IS!" You handed Vergil the dark blue box. You used your sleeve to wipe the light layer of dust off. You took the box from Vergil, then headed to the dining table. Vergil’s curiosity led him to follow you without thinking.

"Scrabble" being revealed brought a nostalgic smile to your face. You used to play this with your grandparents during your teens. Your intention was to improve your spelling. Although you soon figured out some interesting words that you would have never guessed existed. Some of the words were challenged. If the challenged word was in the Scrabble dictionary, all of you would laugh at some of the definitions.

You haven’t played for quite some time. You rarely had time. Work dominated your life. Most of the free time you had, you wanted to lie down and relax. When you did find time to play, not many people you knew wanted to. (Or weren’t much of an opponent.)

"Want to play Scrabble?" Your nostalgic smile turned into a sheepish one. You silently hoped Vergil would at least be willing to play one round. You believed he would be a challenge and enjoy the game.

A tiny smile crept across Vergil. He gave you a light peck on the forehead, then took a seat. "Of course."

"Do you know how to play?" Vergil nodded while taking the board out of the box. You were a bit shocked yet should have known he would know how to play. What you didn't know was that he has been playing this game on the smartphone Nero got him. Vergil would never brag but he wouldn't deny he was pretty good at Scrabble.

You shook the bag before taking a lettered tile out of the bag. You showed Vergil your letter, then placed the bag in front of him. "I got 'E'. You pick one."

"J." Both of you placed your tiles back into the bag. You shook it once more then both of you got 7 tiles each. Vergil turned the board to you as you rearranged your letters to come up with a word. You lightly chewed your cheek. You didn't have the worst letter combination. But it could be better. You could come up with something but it wasn't going to get you many points. Eh, nothing to worry about too much right now since it was the first turn. You placed your word on the board then let Vergil take his turn.

Vergil proved to be a bigger challenge than you anticipated. (Or maybe your skills for this game declined.) Throughout the game you attempted to get control of the board. You meticulously placed your tiles to prevent Vergil from using multiple point spaces. While at the same time trying to keep them open for yourself.

Somehow Vergil was able to get points from words you would never have thought of playing. Some of the words you challenged but they were in the Scrabble dictionary. To mess with him a bit, you asked him to pronounce some of the words. Of course his pronunciation was perfect. Your attempts made Vergil laugh. You threw some potato chips at him in retaliation.

Laughter soon changed to stubborn silence. Both of you became determined to beat the other. Vergil tried to claim the triple word space, along with all the additional letter points. You knew you wouldn't get all of them so you continued to prevent him from doing so. You managed to prevent him from using the triple word on the left side of the board by playing "jeer". The "J" was placed on the triple letter score, making the word's total 33 points.

Vergil's brow furrowed when he watched you play "jeer". You didn’t make the board any better for him. He drew the ‘Q’ after his last turn. He didn't have a "U" and there were no free ones on the board. To top it, he suspected “jeer” put you further into the lead. Vergil’s situation was not looking too good. Especially since the game was at its end.

Vergil couldn't trade letters because you just took the last of them. He knew you wouldn’t trade any with him. Skipping his turn was not an option. You only had 2 tiles left. He was not going to let you run out of tiles before him. Vergil leaned back into his chair as he continued thinking of what to do.

Knowing Vergil was struggling with the "Q" brought a smile to your face. You believed Vergil was trying his best to hide his frustration. Too bad it was obvious.

Vergil's eyes narrowed when he heard you chuckle with amusement. Instantly you covered your mouth since you couldn't stop yourself. Vergil's eyes softened when he saw you were enjoying yourself.

You saw an open "I" on the board. Vergil could play "Qi" for 11 points. You wondered why he didn’t do it. Maybe he didn’t think it was a word? "Take your time. I know you're trying to get rid of the 'Q'."

“Hmm…” It felt like minutes since it became Vergil’s turn. He was at his wits end. To not keep you waiting any longer, he settled for playing “tap”.

"You sure? You know after my turn, I win?"

"I do." After you played your last word, Vergil totaled the scores. A victorious smile spread across your face when you saw the scores. You beat Vergil by 5 points. You excitedly kissed Vergil from across the table. “Next time, I will win.”

#devil may cry #DMC #vergil x reader #devil may cry vergil #vergil/reader #vergil x you #dmc vergil #Vergil #Vergil Sparda

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thebigqueer · 3 years

Text

Solangelo - "Home" - One-Shot

Summary: It's Nico's birthday, and Will has a gift to give him.

Word Count: 1620

Read on AO3

“Nico, just trust me,” Will pleads. His fingers tug on Nico’s wrist, pulling him along urgently. Nico tries only his best to stop himself from being dragged.

“Will, I am promising you, if you force me to watch another Star Wars movie on my birthday, I will be murdering you in your sleep tonight.” Nico snatches his wrist back from Will and crosses his arms over his chest.

Will grins. “Don’t lie, you know you like to binge watch it with me. But no, that’s not what I’m leading you to.” He leans in and takes Nico’s hands in his, rubbing his knuckles. It’s been almost a month since they’ve been “together,” but even then Nico can’t help the electricity that ripples through him at even a simple touch from Will.

“Then what are you leading me to?”

Will pinches one of Nico’s fingers. “I think you’ll like it. It’s in my cabin.”

Nico winces, doubt creeping up onto his shoulders. More than once has Will told him the situation was important just to find out it had to do with Star Wars. “I don’t know, Will…”

“No, trust me. It’s your birthday, Nico. I’m not going to force you to do something you don’t want.” He smiles softly and inclines his head. “I’ll force you to watch it with me tomorrow, though.”

Nico smiles and leans in a little. “I don’t hate Star Wars, just for the record.”

Will takes Nico’s hand again and leads him along, gliding his fingers over Nico’s wrist gently. A ripple of shock travels up his veins.

“I know, Nico. But I get it - maybe I can get a little obsessed.” A blush coats Will’s cheeks.

Dapples of sunlight dot the camp grounds as the boys move towards the cabins. Nico frowns at Will. “Yeah, but it’s okay. I’m not going to judge you. I had a Mythomagic thing. If it’s something you like, then I’m willing to do it with you.”

Will smiles. “Thanks, Nico. And I’m still ready to play ten hours of Mythomagic.”

Nico rolls his eyes. “I play one card game as an eleven-year-old and suddenly no one can get over it.”

The boys arrive at the Apollo cabin door, which gleams in the sunlight. As he pushes the door open, Will throws a careless grin over his shoulder. “Don’t pretend that I haven’t seen those cards in your cabin.”

Nico pushes a finger to his lips and looks around wildly. “Oh, gods, Will, don’t say it out loud. That’s our secret.”

Will throws his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay.”

Nico closes the door behind them and blinks. The shades are drawn in the cabin, filtering out any daylight. The cabin is empty of all its residents, which Nico finds quite strange - he’s only ever used to wild chatter and amusing arguments between the Apollo kids.

Will leads him through the shadows to his bed at a corner of the cabin. Large Star Wars-themed pillows line his bed and NASA posters flash around Will’s walls. Nico smiles at the scene; Will has always been obsessed with space, even when he was younger. As he got older, though, and realized he had a talent in healing - whether he wanted it or not - he started focusing less and less on the adventures and amazements of outer space. That loss of interest fills Nico’s heart with pity. He wishes Will would stop wanting to take care of everyone and just take a moment to think about himself and his own interests.

But Nico knows that’s hard for a medic. He has to be constantly on the lookout. Despite that, it’s obvious his medical career has had a negative impact on Will’s well-being. The amount of times Nico’s found him on the edge of a panic attack only emphasizes how much he needs to take care of himself.

Will reaches under his bed and pulls out a small brightly-colored packet, overflowing with equally-as-bright tissue paper. Nico takes it from his hands with a confused smile on his face. “You… got me something?”

Now it’s Will’s turn to look confused. “It’s your birthday. Why wouldn’t I?”

A hurricane of emotions swirl in Nico’s chest, almost throwing him off balance. It’s been so long since he’s properly celebrated his birthday, and even longer since he’s gotten a normal present (not like the chauffeur that Hades got him for his birthday the year before). There’s an innocence to it, a warm feeling at the fact that someone is willing to give him a present just because he was brought into the world. He didn’t care for his birthday after he lost Bianca, but knowing that Will got him something - and that some more friends are planning to celebrate his existence in the evening - suddenly makes him feel that maybe there is a purpose to life and living. It’s the happiness he’s found after all the sadness. The lovely people he’s going to meet. The changes that will happen.

Tears stab at his eyes, but he tries to blink them away. “I don’t know,” he murmurs. “I just… nevermind.” A wide smile flashes across his features. “What did you get me?”

Will pushes his hands to his cheeks and squishes his face in excitement. “You’ll see. I think you’ll like it. I thought I’d get you something that made you feel a little more at home. Something that might help you realize that Camp Half-Blood loves you.” He takes his hands away from his face and slips one into Nico’s fingers again. “I know you’ve had a bad experience here before, so I thought this could be, like… a symbolic gift. Kind of like a way for the camp to apologize for how it’s treated you in the past.” Will leans in a little, inclining his head low enough to almost touch Nico’s. “You deserve that.”

Nico’s heart swells, overflowing with appreciation for Will and his kindness. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. Just open the present.” Will balances himself over the edge of his bed and pats the mattress with his hand, inviting his boyfriend to sit by him.

Nico sinks into the bed and thrusts his hand into the packet, sifting away all the unnecessary tissue paper.

“What is it with you and tissue paper?” he complains. “You have an obsession.”

“Hey, stop. I take pride in my tissue paper.”

Nico gesutres to the rainbow colors. “I think you take the pride part a little too literally.”

“I can’t help that I’m homo.”

After a moment of groping around, Nico’s fingers graze upon soft fabric. He grasps the item and pulls it out of the mound of tissue paper, managing to throw at least half the pieces on the floor. Nico unfolds the item and braces himself for the reveal of it.

He holds it up and finds that it’s a black T-shirt. In white stitching, the words “CAMP HALF-BLOOD” roll across the chest, and a skeletal pegasus stands in the middle. Underneath the pegasus, the words “LONG ISLAND SOUND” jump out at Nico.

For a moment, he can’t understand why the shirt looks so familiar. Then he looks over at Will’s shirt, which is the standard CHB design, and it clicks in his mind. He blinks at Will. “You… got me a black CHB shirt?”

Will scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah. I actually got Chiron’s help in making it. He gave me permission to create it for you.” He offers a wavering smile. “Do you like it? Be honest.”

Nico spreads the shirt over his lap and runs his fingers over the stitching. Every thread he crawls over ignites a spark through his body. His heart thrums with admiration for Will. He can’t remember the last time someone has done something so sweet for him.

The shirt was made specifically for him. To let him feel like he really had a home here, to let him feel like maybe he really did belong. Tears prick his eyes again, but this time he can’t push them back. One slips out and bursts onto the black fabric.

“Nico?” Will asks. “Are you okay?” He edges his fingers to Nico’s wrist.

Nico turns his eyes to Will’s, suddenly embarrassed. “Yeah,” he says, voice thick with emotion. “It’s just… no one has done something this kind in a while. I…” His voice escapes him, floating out into the air around them, and another tear falls, then another, and another, until his face is red and blotchy and the glimmer of tear tracks flash in the darkness. He’s cracking from the inside, letting his truth spill out all over the place, making a mess over the floor.

Will’s eyes melt into clear water and he opens his arms. The tan of his skin glows in the darkness, and Nico only desires the warmth of him. He leans in and fills in the space of Will’s neck, finding solace in his arms.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I’m not sad. I really love it, Will. Thank you.”

“It’s not too weird?”

A small laugh bubbles out of Nico, falling over both him and Will. “No, I love it.” He stares up at Will’s blue eyes, entrapping them into his own dark ones, and a watery smile balances over his mouth. “Thank you so much.”

A blush crawls over Will’s face, sweeping over the freckled plains of his face. He smiles back and a new warmth crawls up Nico’s back. Will presses his cheek to Nico’s head and tightens his hold on his waist, applying a little pressure. Nico spills into the warmth of his arms. He feels at home in them.

“Happy birthday, Nico.”

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jobrookekarev · 3 years

Photo

Just to Break Me Like a Promise

T.S. x Jolex Week 2021 hosted by @thejolexgroupchat

Chapter One of Two: In the Name of Being Honest

Words: 6974

Summary: When Jo goes into labor, she finally picks up the phone and calls Alex to tell him that she's in labor with their baby girl. As she asked him to come back she remembers the life that they had together all too well.

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy.

Relationship: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson.

Characters: Jo Wilson, Alex Karev, and Levi Schmitt.

Rating: General Audiences.

Additional Tags: Angst, Taylor Swift, All Too Well, The Letter, Pregnancy, Labor.

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

AN: I do not own any of Taylor Swift’s music.

……………………………………………………………………

Jo held her swollen baby bump as she pushed open the red door of the loft. She didn't know why but it seemed heavier than usual as she pushed it open. Alex was always the one to keep the door well oiled, but now he was gone, that was her responsibility. However, it wasn't easy to remember to do the things that he used to do for her now that she was on her own. Sometimes the responsibilities seemed endless and she missed having a partner to share the burden with.

The Loft was cold and dark, and it reminded her of the first night she showed it to him as they walked through the door of the Loft together. There was something about this place that drew her in. She thought that they could take it and make it into anything they wanted, and they did. As she flicked on the lights, the warm light revealed the cozy home they had and the life that they created together. That other life they had created stirred in her belly as her daughter kicked against her hand.

Jo shrugged off the coat that she wore now that summer had turned to fall and hung it up on the hook. That morning as she and Levi left for work, she wished that she had her favorite scarf, but she can’t remember where it was and suspected that she left it at Meredith's house the last time they had waffles Sunday. They still had waffle Sundays, but it wasn't the same without Alex. Nothing was the same without him.

She waddled over to the cabinet behind the couch and put her bag down along with her keys and everything else. At 39 weeks pregnant, the only thing she wanted to do each night was collapse on the couch, watch TV, and fall asleep until she gave birth. Thanks to her friends, most nights, she did. They kept her fridge well stocked, so she didn't have to worry about cooking dinner. Link came over and did her laundry every week, and Bailey and Carina had her on a light work schedule, so she was home by 6 p.m. every night. Jo loved her new mentor, and after switching from surgery to OB, she had grown to admire Carina, and the two had become close friends. Jo didn't mind that she was keeping a close eye on her baby. Except when it meant keeping a close eye on her.

Apart from that, Jo had at least one visitor a night who would come in and check on her before Levi got home from work. Some nights Jo appreciated the company, but most nights, she felt like a toddler who needed babysitting. Still, the worry of her friends was much needed, especially since she didn't have Alex to worry over her.

Jo didn't want to think about the husband that left her tonight, but it was hard not to think about him when she carried around a little part of him every day. Her daughter had been quiet on the drive home, but as Jo walked around the Loft, she was greeted with a series of movements as her daughter wiggled around.

“Hello, my sweet girl,” Jo whispered as she pressed her hand into the side of her belly as her daughter kicked against her fingers. Jo moved her hand over and pressed into the other side of her belly as her daughter lightly kicked her hand again. They played a little bit of back and forth, poking and kicking for a second before Jo rubbed her belly and walked over to the kitchen.

The latest pre-made dinner was her favorite macaroni and cheese, made by Levi, although he did put broccoli in it. After she warmed up her dinner, she walked over to the window and watched the rainfall on the parking lot while the city lights glittered in the rain. The views from the Loft certainly weren't the best in the city, but it was nice, and Jo enjoyed watching the rain.

She looked down at her rain stained car next to Alex’s Audi. She didn’t know what to do with it, so it just sat abandoned beside her own. She remembered the time they drove upstate to stay at a cabin in Bellingham for a long weekend. She controlled the music and got him to sing along to Taylor Swift. He didn’t lie and say he only knew the lyrics because of the kids who blasted it on the ped’s floor. With her, he never hid what he liked. They drove through the autumn trees on a winding road and the leaves fell like the rain. Everything was golden as the setting sun came in through the windows and the red and orange leaves were a colorful paint on the grey pavement. The memory was as vivid as ever and she could hear his laugh as he insisted on carrying her into the cabin and straight to the bed.

She pulled her sweater closer around her shoulders and held her cup of tea close to her lips, feeling the warmth of steam and the sweet scent before she took a sip. As she looked around the Loft and waddled over to the couch. They had designed the Loft in a way that it always fit the fall theme. It was always cozy and warm on the dreary winter rainy days. Which was good considering that was pretty much the majority of the weather in Seattle. This October, Jo, and Levi had put up more decorations than usual. There were pumpkins everywhere, although their carved Mini pumpkins sat next to colorful corn cobs on the kitchen table. They had strings of leaves all around them, although a lot of those were just the ones that they brought in on their shoes. The theme of the Loft had always been red, and that red fall theme had trickled over into the nursery she had set up in the corner where the dining table used to be.

She thought she would set it all up on her own bit by bit, doing a little each day, and she did. She slowly bought everything she needed, but the day the crib and the dresser were delivered, her friends surprised her with a decorating nursery party in favor of a baby shower she wouldn't let April plan for her. Meredith, Jackson, April, Link and Amelia, Maggie and Winston, and all the kids came over along with Schmitt and Taryn and Nico, and the rest of the Grey-Slone family. They all put together the furniture, folded and washed the baby clothes, and put the toys away. They got the dresser, and the changing station set up all while Jo just sat in her new rocking chair and directed traffic. Everybody else from the hospital had stopped by and delivered gifts, and at the end of the day, Jo had a full nursery ready for her daughter.

It was so wonderful she nearly cried. After Alex left, she decided to go through with her pregnancy alone. She would tell him eventually, but for now, she needed to do this by herself. She thought that she would be completely alone, but Jo was never alone. She had a family now, and even in the loneliest of times, they all banded together to take care of her. That meant more to her than anything else. It was perfect, but the one person who should have been there putting together the nursery with her wasn't there.

Jo let out a sigh as she rested her tea mug on the end table and reached for the remote that was too far away. Levi always put it on the coffee table, not the end table like Alex did, and it was almost impossible to reach from her reclined position. She leaned forward and stretched to reach it as she bruised it with her fingertips before she grabbed ahold of it.

“I’m gonna kick you out pretty soon if you keep restricting my movements, kiddo. It’s bad enough that I can’t take the stairs or walk faster than a duck,” Jo huffed as she sat back and sipped her tea.

In response, her daughter gave her a series of swift kicks to her ribs.

“Ow, okay, I get it you want out too. I know there’s not much room in there, but it’s not my fault you're so big,” Jo said as she rubbed her belly to comfort her daughter.

However, this time, her daughter didn't kick her, and instead, a painful contraction gripped her stomach. Jo and mediately sat up and tried to breathe through it. She had had a few Braxton Hicks contractions earlier in the day but nothing this strong.

“No, no, no,” Jo moaned as she breathed out and tried to get through it. Once the contraction passed, she scolded her daughter. “You can't send me into labor now. I haven't even told your father about you.”

The day they had driven up to the cabin was long gone, but a part of him was still with her. She tried to pretend that she was okay, but she wasn’t. She knew she had to tell Alex about their daughter, but even then, it wouldn't fix anything. It wouldn't bring his love back. She had gotten so close to telling him a number of times, but every time she heard his voice on the phone, she just couldn't. The day she had her 20 week scan and found out she was having a girl, she had gotten so close to telling him. In a rush of excitement, she pulled out her phone and dialed his number to tell him that they were having a daughter. But the phone just rang and rang, and when he didn't pick up. She was once again left listening to his voicemail, her excitement had turned to disappointment, and she just ended the call. Looking back now, she didn't know why she didn't tell him. She should have, but she couldn't bear the thought of not seeing his face or hearing his voice when she told him. She wanted him to pick up the phone for her, but he never did.

Jo didn't remember the rest of the day too well, but she remembered how Meredith and Link, and to her surprise, even Bailey, offered to let her stay with them as her mood darken. But Jo was determined, maintain her stability for the sake of her daughter, and she didn't want to leave the Loft. It was her home and it held so many memories of Alex. It was hard to face the memories of him after he left, but when she found out she was pregnant, she clung to every bit of him that she could, in the hope that she could give it all to her baby.

Jo closed her eyes as she sat back on the couch and listened to the news anchor go on and on as she heard the rain pelt against the windows. She sat cozy and warm on the couch as she got lost in her memory. She could see it all again. The drive up to that little town with the cabin. She remembered the wind in her hair and the music of the radio. She didn't know what it was about her smile that day, but Alex couldn’t stop staring at her. He had looked over and stared at her with that little crooked smile, and it was only because she rolled her eyes and looked back at the road that she noticed the light turn yellow. Alex had to slam on the brakes to avoid running the red light. It was a bit scary, but she laughed because he got distracted by her, and she would never get tired of the way that he looked at her like that. It was happy and painful to remember, but she remembered it all too well.

She wasn't surprised when she fell asleep, she was so tired these days, but she was woken up only a few minutes later to another contraction. This one was just as strong as the one before, and Jo tried to remember all the breathing techniques and exercises that she had learned over the past few months now that she was an OB/GYN resident. She did her breathing and set her tea down. It was still warm in her hand as she set it down on the arm of the couch. Jo tried to move into a more comfortable position and rolled onto her side. As the contraction finally passed as she let out of breath.

“Hey you, I thought we agreed you weren't coming yet,” Jo said as she put her hand over her bump and her daughter replied with gentle and soft movements as she squirmed around but pushed her arm out. “You can't come yet, please.”

Jo got up and started walking around the loft, or rather waddling. She looked at her watch, waiting for the next contraction to come, but it never did. Jo finally relaxed, letting her shoulders sag as she finished her tea. She went over to the nursery, brushing her hand along the railing of the crib as she sat down and the rocking chair. She put her feet up on the ottoman as she gently rocked back and forth. She had chosen a classic glider, but it was insanely comfortable, and both her and her baby were calmed by the rocking motion.

She reached over to the nightstand to grab the baby blanket. It was the leaf printed muslin swaddle that she intended to bring her daughter home from the hospital in. She had been carrying it around so that it would have her scent on it when her daughter was born. As she grabbed the swaddle, her hand brushed over the photo albums she had been looking at a few days ago. It was Alex's photos from when he was a kid. When his mom had visited, she had brought it with her. The album was something she had created for Alex, Amber, and Arron.

Alex had cried when he first saw it. Neither of them had many photos from when they were kids. After Helen had gotten more stable, she started sorting through the things in the house and found all the photos. She had made each of her kids, and each album was filled with photos and little descriptions of the memories of each photo. Having the photo album meant the world to him.

Jo had loved the album too and she had sat next to Helen on the couch as they all went through every photo. Alex had blushed this deep red color and tried to keep certain photos from her, but she loved every single one of them. It was filled with photos from his childhood, from when he was a baby to when he was a teenager. Helen even managed to track down a few photos of him in college when he was on the wrestling team. Jo’s favorite was from when he was a little kid, sitting in a twin-size bed with dinosaur sheets. She smiled because she loved that little chubby kid as much as she loved her tall, scruff husband. He was just so cute and her heart just melted on the spot. Helen told her stories about him in the library, how he took care of his siblings, and his successes on the wrestling team. Jo loved every second of it, especially when Alex blushed and hid in her shoulders.

That night as he laid next to her before he fell asleep, he whispered that he wanted to do that for their baby. He wanted them to have a photo album and memories of their childhood for them to look back on. It was the reason Jo had the photo album out because she had started a baby book. She had written down every detail of her pregnancy and tucked away every little ultrasound. She had no idea what she was doing, but luckily the book was all set up, and all she had to do was write everything down and add the photos. It wasn't much, but it was something that their baby would always have.

Jo knew everything about Alex’s childhood, just like he knew everything about hers. She remembered how he promised that their baby would have a better childhood than either of them did. She put a hand on her belly and felt her daughter move around. She knew that their daughter would have that good childhood that they never got, whether she had to do it alone or not. She didn't know how they would work it out, but even if she and her daughter only had Alex part-time, she knew that he would be the best father in the world. In the meantime, she could be a good enough mother to make up for the rest of it.

She had another Braxton Hicks contraction and laid back and let go of the photo album as it fell to the floor. This one lasted a little longer, but it finally passed, and Jo looked down at the photo album open on the floor. She hadn’t been able to reach anything on the floor since she hit 30 weeks, and she can't remember the last time she was able to tie her shoes. At least Levi didn't mind picking up after her as Jo decided to leave it.

She looked down at the photo album again. It was open on pictures of Alex in high school. He was so handsome in his wrestling uniform. Despite how much she tried to tell herself that she could do this on her own, she knew she never could. The memories of their life together were so vivid and fresh, and Jo was glad that she got to keep them. As the fridge came to life and hummed, she looked over and remembered the night that they danced together in the refrigerator light. It was late, and they were both on night shift and had come home to make dinner. As they cooked together, Jo put on some music, and then she grabbed his hand and pulled him in the dance with her. He laughed and kissed her, then gave in and danced with her for a few minutes before the pasta started to boil over. She could still remember the sound of his laughter and the feel of his hands on her waist. She remembered it all too well.

This time after she fell asleep, she woke up to Levi gently calling her name and shaking her shoulder. “Jo, Jo, wakey, wakey,”

Jo groaned and swatted at the hand that poked her shoulder. “Leave me alone, Schmitt.”

“Fine, I just thought that you wouldn't want to sleep all night in the rocking chair,” Levi said as she opened her eyes, looking up at him as he pulled back and shrugged.

Jo sighed as she realized she was still sitting in the glider and held out her hands to him. “Ugh, help me up, please.”

Levi pulled her up, although not without a strain on them both. He wasn't quite strong enough, and although she was reluctant to admit it, she was getting too big. After he helped her up, she walked towards the bed as she heard him pick up the photo album and put it back on that nightstand.

“Was there anything else you dropped,” Levi asked as he looked around the room and collected her dinner dishes and then the mug of tea she left on the couch.

“No, just the...” Jo trailed off with a groan as she leaned against the post as she had another Braxton Hicks contraction.

“You okay?” Levi asked, but she just squeezed her eyes shut and ignored him. He had long since learned not to touch her or interfere when she was having a Braxton Hicks, or she would bite off his head.

“Yeah,” Jo said as the contraction finally passed, and she went over to sit back down on the couch. “She's just been dramatic today. I've been having Braxton Hicks since this afternoon.”

“You've been counting them, though right,” Levi asked, suddenly worried as he came over to her.

“Yes, of course, I've been counting them. I'm not a moron, and I'm not in labor,” Jo said, waving her hand to dismiss him.

“Okay, I'm just saying your full term, so it can happen any day now,” Levi said, walking back to the kitchen. “Did you have dinner already?”

“Yes, Dad,” Jo said as she rolled her eyes. She didn't need a lecture on how close she was to her due date.

It was something everybody, especially Meredith and Link, had been annoying her about. Jo was highly aware of it as the day she would have to call Alex and tell them that she had their daughter was getting closer and closer. She had avoided him for nine months, saying that she wouldn't tell him until she had the baby. She was still on the fence about whether she wanted him there, and she delivered. She knew that he would be there for her, and he would comfort her and hold her hand and get her ice chips and let her scream and cry and yell at him for leaving her. However, other times the thought of seeing him again while she was in labor was too hard. As she made her birth plan and attended to the labor and births of countless other birth givers and babies, she wanted things to be calm. She wanted people there who would support her, and although Alex was the best person for that since he left her, things had changed, and she wasn’t sure he would be.

Her daughter wiggled and painfully stretched out inside of her pushing on her organs as Jo let out gasped and rubbed up and down her belly. She pressed down on where her daughter's feet were. She had dropped lower a few days ago, giving her a little extra room, but she and Carina estimated that she was at least 9 pounds, so regardless, she didn't have much room.

“I know,” Jo said with a sigh as she talked to her baby girl. “You're ready to come out, but I'm not ready for you yet. You got to hang tight just for a little bit longer, please, baby girl.”

Her daughter relaxed as she gently kicked her hands, and Jo smiled. However, it doesn't seem that her daughter wanted to listen to her tonight. As then she heard a pop and felt a gush of water. It was just a little trickle, and Jo blushed in embarrassment as she thought it was her bladder releasing as her daughter pushed on it. However, as she drenched her jeans, instead of smelling like pee, it smelled a little sweet, and Jo suddenly realized what happened.

“No, no, not yet, please not yet,” Jo said as she put her hand on her belly as she looked down at her lap that was soaked in her amniotic fluid.

“What's wrong,” Levi said in a panic as he came over to her. He looked down at the dark patch in her jeans as her amniotic fluid continued to soak her pants and then looked up at her. “Oy vey, you're in labor, your water broke, you're in labor.”

“Levi,” Jo said through gritted teeth as she had another contraction. “Call Meredith.”

“Yeah, okay, okay,” Levi said, taking a deep breath as he scrambled to try and find his phone. “Oy vey.”

Jo tried to relax as best she could and breathe through the contraction, going to the technique of counting in her head as she breathed in and out. As soon as the contraction passed, Jo put her hand on the sidearm of the couch and pulled herself up. She looked back at the white couch that was now stained wet and a little red with blood.

She tried to remember not to freak out seeing the blood as she knew it was normal, but she couldn't help but grieve for the ruined couch cushion. It was kind of fitting that her water broke on their couch. The couch had been through so much. They had spilled beer and pizza sauce and teriyaki on that couch, but they'd always manage to get the stains out, but this was one stain that probably would mark the fabric forever.

Jo looked over at Levi in his little space where Alex’s weights used to be. He rummaged through everything on his twin-size bed, mumbling and trying to find his phone. Jo rolled her eyes as she made her way over to her bed. She grabbed her purse from the cabinet behind the couch and her pillow. Her hospital bag and the car seat were already in her car as she figured she didn't want to lug all of it down there while she was in labor, and she was so glad she did. Now that she was in labor, she realized she wanted a few extra things. She grabbed a few snacks from the kitchen, her favorite hair scrunchie, her headphones, and of course, the baby book. Jo put everything on her bed before realizing she was still in her wet jeans and grabbed a pair of sweatpants before she went over to the bathroom.

“What are you doing,” Levi asked, his head popping up as he rushed over to her. “You don't need to push, do you? Cuz if you need to push, I can be ready. I mean, it’s not like I haven’t seen you naked before.”

“Okay, first off, you are not going to be in the room while I’m pushing. Secondly, I don't need to push ye. I just want to change out of my wet jeans,” Jo said as she put her hand on the door handle to the bathroom and shut it in his face.

“Okay, but leave the door unlocked in case anything happens,” Levi shouted as Jo kicked off her jeans and left them in a mess on the floor.

There was a reason why she didn't pick Levi to be her labor partner, and now she severely regretted Meredith’s offer to let her stay with her. If Meredith were here, she would have already helped Jo change and then helped her to the car. But Meredith’s house was so crowded with Maggie, Link, Amelia, and all the kids. During the last few weeks of her pregnancy, Jo's nesting instincts had kicked in, and she felt the need to be at the Loft and make sure that everything was ready for her daughter. Besides, knowing Link, if she went into labor when he was around, he would probably be just as panicked as Levi.

It was a struggle to put on anything that involved her feet these days. She also had to pause as she had another contraction, but she managed to put on her sweatpants before she went back out. Levi was still running around the Loft collecting things, but at least he was on the phone with Meredith. Jo went over to the bed and got her things. Jo stood in the entryway with her bag on her shoulder, and her pillow under her arm as Levi still scrambled to find his things.

“Alright, I’m gonna go wait in the car,” Jo said as she waddled over to the door, reaching for her jacket and her favorite pair of gray slippers.

“Okay, I’m coming too,” Levi said as he scooped up his things before taking her bag and the pillow from her as they made their way down to her car.

Jo put her hood up and pulled her coat around her middle, although her belly stuck out and her white T-shirt got wet. She handed her car keys to Levi as she had another contraction and paused as she leaned on the hood of the car. They were still ten minutes apart, but now that her water had broken, they were much more painful, and she watched the rain fall on the windshield, trying to let it calm her as she followed the water droplets down the glass. After it passed, she let Levi help her into the front seat as he finished putting everything in the back. Finally, he climbed into the driver seat and started up the car before he froze.

“What now,” Jo said in annoyance, gritting her teeth.

“I think I forgot my wallet upstairs,” Levi said quickly, padding his thighs and then his butt only to come up empty.

“Well, go get it,” Jo yelled at him as he quickly scrambled out of the car and ran back upstairs. “And don't forget to lock the door.”

Now that she was finally alone in the car, with only the grey skies and the rain that pitter pattered on the rooftop. Jo pulled out her phone as she figured that now was as good a time as any to call Alex. She put one hand on her belly as she pulled up his contact. Even if she got his voicemail now, she knew she had to tell him that they were having a baby.

To her surprise, she had a voicemail from Alex waiting for her. She knew she shouldn't be surprised. He left her a few voicemails in the past few months. He always called in the middle of the night or early in the morning when he knew she would be sleeping, and even if he did call during the day, she never picked up for him. Since he sent the divorce papers and the letter, he had left her a few voicemails asking for her to sign the papers and send them back, but she couldn't do that yet. She quickly pulled up the voicemail and held her phone to her ear as his familiar voice came through her phone.

“Hey Jo, I was just wondering if you had filed the divorce papers yet. I still haven't heard from you, and Meredith won't tell me anything, so I just thought I'd call and ask you. I know this is hard, this is hard for me too, but,” Alex trailed off with a sigh, and she could tell that he had pushed the phone away from his ear and put a hand over his face like he always did when he was tired and frustrated. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry I had to end things like this. I'm sorry that it's all on you to end our marriage. I could make it easier for you, and I could meet up with your lawyer or you or something, just let me know. Again I'm really sorry Jo, but I really need those papers, please. Please just call me and tell me what you want to do, okay?”

She knew Alex better than anybody. She knew about his father and his mother and Amber and Arron. She knew that he was the wrestling state champion in junior year in college. She knew that Mr. Myers who worked the night shift with his favorite foster parent. She knew that even though Amber was grown up and had a family of her own, Alex still felt the need to take care of his baby sister, which is why they visited her twice a year. She knew he loved to drive as he always said it was where he could really think. She knew that he loved Taylor Swift music, and she knew that he loved dancing but only with her. She knew that when he found out about the twins, he had panicked and he ran. It was always his first thought, and it was hers too, but she had stopped running a long time ago, and she thought he did too, but his letter was his way of running away again.

“I swear I love him, but sometimes I hate him. I know he's your father's baby girl, but he is the most frustrating person I've ever met,” Jo nearly screamed as she clenched her phone before she let out a breath and rubbed her hand across her belly. “Even when we were together. And even now, I can tell that he still loves me too. He's trying to make the divorce easy for me, but he doesn't know that I’ve been put off filing the papers because I have you. Once he meets you, he's going to be faced with the reality of what he's done. I don't know if he'll come back to us, but I want him to be there for you. I wish this was easy, baby girl, and I'm sorry it's not. You deserve parents who aren't in the midst of a divorce. You deserve parents who are so much better than this.”

Jo took a deep breath as tears collected in her eyes. She had always wanted the best for her daughter. She wanted things to be good for her. So she had ignored the truth that things weren't in the hopes that if she ignored it long enough, Alex would come back to her and things would be good again. She knew now that she was foolish to think that. Every time he had called her since he sent the letter, it felt so casually cruel, but she knew he was just being honest. She felt like every promise he ever made to her, he broke again and again. All she could hear some nights with him saying that he wasn't going anywhere except home with her, but none of the words on the letter replayed in her head, saying that he wasn't coming home. If it wasn't for their baby girl, Jo thought she would have broken down.

She let a few tears fall down her cheeks before She had another contraction. This time she let herself cry out in pain. But when the pain passed, she wiped away her tears and took a deep breath. As hard as this was and as much as it wouldn't fix anything, she had to tell Alex. He deserved to know. She wasn't going to be like Izzie and keep his daughter from him. She couldn't do that to either of them, but she couldn't help but feel like she was throwing a bomb into the middle of his life.

Still, she picked up her phone and dialed his number again. He was the first name in her contacts and last call that she had gotten. So she wasn't surprised when it rang for a little while, but she was surprised when he picked up.

“Hi Jo,” Alex said with such sadness in his voice as if it physically pained him to say her name.

“Alex,” Jo breathed out his name despite the pain. He always filled her with a sense of relief. Jo took a deep breath as she looked at the clock, and she only had a few more minutes until her next contractions hit, and she wanted to get it all out to him.

“Look, about the divorce papers…” Alex started to say.

“Alex, I can't file them, not now, just not now, because I'm pregnant. I'm having our baby girl, right now actually. I'm, I'm in labor, and I can't file the divorce papers because they only allow family members in the delivery room right now, and you're my family, and I need you. Our baby girl needs you.”

Alex was silent on the other end of the line, and Jo was a little grateful for that because her next contraction hit, and she let out a moan as she tried to breathe through the pain again. She leaned forward and put her head on her arms as she leaned against the dashboard. She could hear Alex calling her name, but in the midst of her contraction, she couldn't respond until finally, it passed.

“Jo, Jo, are you still there? Are you alright? Is, is she alright,” Alex begged her for answers, and she could tell that he was moving around in the background. “Please talk to me!”

“I'm fine and she's fine too,” Jo said, still a little breathless from her contraction. “She's perfect actually, she's healthy, and she's strong, but my contractions are really strong too.”

“How far apart are they? Has your water broken yet? How long have you been having contractions? Are you at the hospital?” Alex asked a series of questions as he rambled off in a panic, just like she didn't know he would.

“Alex, stop,” Jo cut him off before he started asking her more questions. “My contractions are ten minutes apart, and my water broke a few minutes ago. So I've only been having them for a couple of hours. It's still really early, I can tell, but I'm headed to the hospital now. Levi's driving me, or he's supposed to be.”

“Schmitt is driving you to the hospital?” Alex asked as Jo looked up to the window to see him finally coming out the door of the apartment building and rushing over to the car.

“It's a long story. A lot has changed since you left, Alex,” Jo said in a whisper, so much had changed.

“I’m sorry,” Alex whispered too.

“Okay, ready to go. Did you call Meredith?” Levi asked, breaking their little bubble of silence as he got in the car.

“Just drive,” Jo said, putting her hand over the receiver as Levi pulled out of the parking lot before she went back to her call with Alex. “I'm headed to Grey-Sloan right now. I umm, I have Meredith and Carina, and they’re going to be with me through my labor but, but I want you there too.”

“Of course, of course, I'm going to be there. I'll be there as soon as I can, and you can scream and cry and yell at me or just hold my hand, and I'll feed you ice chips or something. I'll get you whatever you want, Jo,” Alex said in the same voice that he used to promise her the world with, and although she knew she shouldn't, she believed that he would keep his word this time.

“Okay,” Jo said with a nod, tears springing in her eyes. He was coming back to her, to her and their baby.

“Okay, do you want me to stay on the line with you until I get there?” Alex offered, god, he was so sweet, but Jo didn't know what she wanted.

“Don't you have to catch a plane or something?” Jo asked, trying not to hold her breath as she waited for his answer.

“No, actually I'm in Chehalis with…” Alex trailed off, not wanting to say her name, and Jo was glad because she didn't want to hear it. “I'm just, I'm in Chehalis, and I can be there in an hour if traffic isn't too bad.”

“You’ll have to go through Tacoma and the traffic in Tacoma is always terrible,” Jo said, closing her eyes and her tears finally fell down her cheeks as Levi drove through the downtown streets. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes as she looked at the road ahead of them. “Okay, just why don't you just get here as soon as you can, and I'm going to call Meredith, but not before I yell at Levi's for taking the wrong street.”

“I'm not taking the wrong street. This is the best way to get to the hospital,” Levi insisted as he gripped the wheel and painfully went this exact speed limit as he cautiously drove.

“No, you're on 4th ave, but you should have hopped on Highway 99. It’s faster!” Jo insisted as she pointed at the map he had up on his phone showing the option for the route she wanted.

“Yeah, but it's dangerous to drive on the highway,” Levi protested as he stayed the course. “And this is the way that I take when I ride my bike, so this is the way we're going.”

Jo threw her head back against the headrest and groaned as she had another contraction. She tried to breathe again as she gripped the door handle as if it was Alex’s hand. She didn't want to go through this alone. She wanted him here now.

“That’s it, deep breaths, Jo, you're doing great,” Alex's gentle voice came through the phone as he was there for her. “Just keep breathing and trying not to kill Schmidt. He should be careful he's got precious cargo.”

Jo took comfort in his words as she let out a breath and the contraction finally passed. “Our daughter is going to be so excited to meet you, so just get here as soon as you can, please, Alex.”

“I'm excited to meet her too,” Alex said, and for the first time since he left her, he sounded happy. “I can't wait to meet her, and I can't wait to see you again, so I'm going to hang up and hop in the car right now. I'll be there as fast as I can, okay?”

“Okay,” Jo said with another nod as she put a hand on her belly and Alex hung up.

His voice was still ringing in her ear as she remembered it all too well. Yet, soon she would hear his voice as he sat beside her and supported her as she delivered their baby girl, and she wouldn't have to remember because she would have him back. If only for tonight, if only for her baby girl.

……………………………………………………………………

AN: Part 2 is coming soon!

#jo wilson #alex karev #grey's anatomy #jolex #TSJolexWeek21 #otp: home and heart #grey's anatomy fanfic #my work #my writing #my fanfiction #my photos #my edits

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crow-in-a-teapot · 3 years

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tower of nero spoilers

i have just finished the tower of nero. and before i go searching for other people’s thoughts and art and more of the characters i love so much, i want to write down some of my own thoughts because i know as soon as i delve into that ‘ton spoilers’ hashtag there are going to be complaints and criticisms and so much that i don’t want to hear, or essays that’ll make me upset, or things that’ll change my perception on the book (because on this website people really love to hate the trials of apollo).

i want to start with: i loved it. it didn’t feel earth-shattering or huge and momentous like some of my favourite riordanverse books (house of hades, the blood of olympus, the last olympian and maybe some of the magnus chase books take those pedestals for me) but it was satisfying. and i think it was satisfying because it in no way felt like an ending. whether because eventually rick will write that will-and-nico-go-through-tartarus-and-save-bob novella, or because we (or at least i) will continue writing and imagining and creating for this world i don’t know. he didn’t wrap up the story in a perfect little bow like ‘nineteen years later’, he simply put it on pause. gave us a glimpse of where every character was at at the end.

the only thing that makes me so angry and upset is that i did manage to get some spoilers for moments that i know would have been so good to experience for the first time if i hadn’t been spoiled for them. the moment where rachel mentions penguins in a mansion near her house, nico getting mental health advice from mr d, the fact that will and nico were going to be in the book for so much of the story, but the big thing was literally spoiled for me two days ago, it was the reason i sat down to read it as fast as possible because i was terrified of getting more spoiled and not being able to experience the moments for myself, was that piper had a girlfriend. i know that reading that for the first time would have been so cool and surprising, and the fact that when it came up for a moment in the last couple pages all i felt was disappointment because it was spoiled for me and because it was now tinged with whatever that person was saying about her having a girlfriend.

but i still had some warm fuzzy moments, the two parts where apollo thinks he’s going to die but nico comes up behind him - so good. impeccable.

Leader Guy spat. ‘Now, I kill you.’

He raised his sword... and froze. His face turned pale. His skin began to shrivel. His beard fell out whisker by whisker like dead pine needles. Finally, his skin crumbled away, along with his clothes and flesh, until Leader Guy was nothing but a bleached-white skeleton, holding a sword in his bony hands.

Standing behind him, his hand on the skeleton’s shoulder, was Nico di Angelo.

and

Nero raised his hand, ready to give the kill command, when behind me a mighty BOOM! shook the chamber. Half our enemies were thrown off their feet. Cracks sprouted in the windowsand the marble columns. Ceiling tiles broke, raining dust like split bags of flour.

I turned to see the impenetrable blast doors lying twisted and broken, a strangely emaciated red bull standing in the breach. Behind it stood Nico di Angelo.

gods. poetic brilliance. i can’t believe i’m still a nico di angelo stannie in the year 2021. in five years i have not changed (ever since the tv show announcement last summer i have managed to morph into myself from 2017)

from here i’m not sure where to go next i kind of want to go through everything, except it’ll be more difficult than my tyrant’s tomb reaction because i wasn’t reading on a kindle and thus can’t just do funny little reactions to screenshots of quotes, so i’ll just skim through the book page by page and see what i can comment on (i’m not planning on doing analysis today, no thank you, just enjoying the end of my childhood and trying to squeeze as much out of it as possible)

i have an emotional attachment to mr. snake from the very first chapter, and am very upset that he’ll never get off on his baltimore stop and get to see his wife, lu had no reason to shoot and kill him like that.

that brings me to lu, i liked her, it was interesting to see how rick kind of brought in not only the overarching theme of abuse, but also people who let the abuse happen, i have more i could say on this i’m too lazy to right now, and i promised no analysis - or the fact that Lu had conspired to make the show non-lethal to spare Meg’s feelings rather than - oh, I don’t know - refusing to do Nero’s dirty work in the first place and getting Meg out of that house of horrors.

And are you any better? taunted a small voice in my brain. How many times have you stood up to Zeus?

Okay, small voice. Fair point. Tyrants are not easy to opppose or walk away from, especially when you depend on them for everything.

the parallels to meg and lester heading to percy’s apartment, and then to camp half blood to the hidden oracle was so cool to read, every callback to the hidden oracle just there to remind us readers exactly how far apollo has come and how he’s changed; the entire chapter with sally, paul and estelle just felt sickly sweet, it just didn’t seem real how wholesome and good that family is, like i get why apollo broke down and just sobbed in that shower.

also rick really saying acab again in toa, i thought he was done after that elf cop chapter in magnus chase (the magnus chase series is a masterpiece) but apparently not, with A ‘good cop’ is still a cop... still a part of the mind game.

the grey sisters, i forgot about them completely but this threw me back into was it the sea of monsters when annabeth summoned them? i’m not sure, it could have been the lightning thief either, they really remind me of the disney hercules movie. the whole ganymede paragraph was gold, i love gods being canonically confirmed lgbt in the riordanverse. i also love the whole eye-tossing part -

‘He will crush our eye,’ Anger cried, ‘if we don’t recite our verses!’

‘I will not!’

‘We will all die!’ Wasp said. ‘He is crazy!’

‘I AM NOT!’

‘Fine, you win!’ Tempest howled.

also, the explanation for why dionysus chooses to look the way he does was perfect, because it was something i often wondered about and wasn’t expecting to get an explanation for, and i imagine the whole mythological dionysus to look like.. well like a more feminine apollo i guess, beautiful in a gender non-comforming way.

Other Olympians could never comprehend why Dionysus chose this form when he could look like anything he wanted. In ancient times, he’d been famous for his youthful beauty that defied gender.

...

In retaliation, Dionysus had decided to look and act as ungodly as possible. He was like a child refusing to tuck in his shirt, comb his hair or brush his teeth, just to show his parents how little he cared.

every scene with nico at camp just BREAKS ME, i would throw in screenshots of every damn quote but unfortunately, as said above, cannot and would rather not type every one; we’ll start with, obviously apollo confirming to him that jason is dead.

He didn’t look angry exactly. He looked as if he’d been hit in the gut not just once but so many times over the course of so many years that he was beginning to lose perspective on what it meant to be in pain. He swayed on his feet. He blinked. Then he flinched, jerking his hands away from Meg’s as if he’d just remembered his own touch was poison.

ugh then will talking about how nico’s doing, confirming that he’s suffering with ptsd, mr d giving him advice, helping him sort though what voices in his head are real and which ones aren’t, then the paragraph that just recounts every horrific thing poor nico has been through, how will has to reassure him that he’s okay and ‘with friends’ when he wakes up after shadow travel

will’s kindness to apollo, buying him clothes, and apollo finding seymour the leopard’s head in his bed, put there by mr d aaaa AAAA A A A A A THE ORDINARY, EVERYDAY CAMP HALF BLOOD THINGS..

i could go on for years and years about how much i appreciate rachel having a big role in this book, and the visit to her apartment, everything, her art, the fact that she got what she wanted, she’s going to PARIS to study ART, she isn’t forced to be someone she’s not by her dad, and gets to be a big part of a demigod mission and not stand on the sidelines for once.

i love that her landscapes are still visions, that she still paints the quests demigods go on - the burning maze, jason’s funeral pyre, caligula’s ships; and how nico ~appreciates art~

‘And, hey, di Angelo -’ she pushed him playfully away from the canvas he’d been ogling - ‘don’t brush against the art! I don’t care about the paintings, but if you get any colour on you, you’ll ruin that whole black-and-white aesthetic you’ve got going.’

i. love. rachel.

WILL GLOWS!! THE HEADCANONS FROM LIKE FIVE YEARS AGO THAT YOU’D SEE FLOATING AROUND ABOUT HIM MANIPULATING LIGHT!! CONFIRMED!! CANON!! AMAZING

I AM OBSESSED WITH THE TROGS, I LOVE THEM, THEY ARE GREAT, not gonna lie, i was expecting something more dramatic and spooky with how worried will was and how dionysus was going.. visiting the cavern-runners isn’t ♫ good for your mental health ♫ but the little hat frog gremlins were a good addition. i like them very much and their funky little soup shenanigans. quoting the ghost king himself: trogs good. nice hats. (IM SORRY I KEEP MENTIONING HIM BUT I JUST) also how apollo starts wishing for breadsticks a s ajoke and theY STRAIGHT UP HAVE BREADSTICKS? HUH? WHERE DID THEY GET THE BREADSTICKS FROM??

yeah, i’m also still very much upset by every mention of jason grace, it’s funny how ever since his death in the burning maze i have grown to love him more and more and that’s not fun for me, for that boy to become one of my main comfort character’s and have his death and sacrifice and nobility mentioned every few chapters. i’m pretty sure i cried when he appeared to talk in apollo’s dreams, and this time the tears weren’t from the effort of keeping my eyes open and working for hours straight reading this book (i remember staying up until 2am to finish the sequel to beautiful, broken things, it was very much worth it)

‘All right, Jason. We miss you, though.’

ALSO. THE FACT THAT THIS KID. THIS CHILD. HAD TO THINK ‘BUT IF A HERO ISN’T READY TO LOSE EVERYTHING FOR A GREATER CAUSE, IS THAT PERSON REALLY A HERO?’ A KID ISN’T SUPPOSED TO THINK ABOUT THAT AND BE READY TO SACRIFICE THEMSELVES FOR THE GREATER GOOD,, i,, ugh,, he’s supposed to be finishing school and designing temples not being the perfect hero and soldier,, spain without the s,,

as @couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name said: ‘thinking about how ghost! Jason didn’t seem to understand why Apollo was so upset about his death because he’s been raised to believe a hero’s sacrifice is noble and his life doesn’t matter in the grand scheme and also if he doesn’t understand why the person who watched him get horrifically killed is so torn up over his death he probably doesn’t even realize his other friends are grieving him..’

IM SO UPSET THE ARROW OF DODONA IS DEAD D: IT WAS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CHARACTERS ALL THE FUNNIEST MOMENTS WERE BECAUSE OF THAT ARROW AND IT'S DEATH WAS SO SAD WTH LIKE WE FIND OUT HOW USELESS THE ARROW FELT AND HOW THE GROVE OF DODONA ALL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE CRAP AND WOULD FAIL APOLLO AND THEN ONCE WE FEEL BAD FOR IT, IT DIES??

the entire python battle was pretty grim, there is a part of me that's like because this is the last book series i would have loved say the magnus chase and kane chronicles gang in a giant battle with everyone like the battle of manhattan but even more dramatic, but even so, i did appreciate that python battle and the whole almost-falling-into-the-depths-of-tartarus thing.

him talking to artemis was cool, but JESUS: 'I turned and strode out of my room, trying to recall how the god Apollo walked.' like that HURTS. it was such a huge culture shock for apollo to go throught this huge character arc and be so human and understand the pain of others, to be around gods again who are so.. apathetic. also, zeus. 'Interesting how he put that: I had done him proud. I had been useful in making him look good. My heart did not melt. I did not feel that this was a warm-and-fuzzy reconciliation with my father. Let's be honest: some fathers don't deserve that. Some aren't capable of it.'

OKAY OKAY SO THE END?? CHIRON TALKING TO A CAT (BAST) AND A SEVERED HEAD (MIMIR) ABOUT SHARED PROBLEMS WITHIN THE PANTHEONS!! WILL AND NICO RECEIVING A PROPHECY FROM RACHEL TO GO TO TARTARUS AND SAVE BOB!! THE HUNTERS OF ARTEMIS, INCLUDING THALIA AND REYNA BEING BEST FRIENDS (qpr.. qpr..) HUNTING THE TEUMESSIAN FOX!! PERCY, ANNABETH AND GROVER, THE ORIGINAL TRIO, GOING ON A CHAOTIC ROAD TRIP TOGETHER!! - SO MANY STAND-ALONE SET -UPS PFSJSJSJ

okay quick word on the reunions at the end: funny little elephant visitation program with livia and hannibal. love that for them. calypso and leo's relationship seems rocky and complicated, but that's to be expected, i think even if they do get properly back together again it might not last long, because it does pretty much feel like a teenage relationship where the two aren't very compatible, but we'll see. hazel and frank are so funny with their gold plated necklaces. lavinia - tap-dance icon. almost cried at the mention of jason's temple-extension plan again. percy not being sure about what he wants to do in college is accurate and i like that that's left to be up-for-interpretation (rick does THE MOST for the fanfic writers pfsjsj). i am OBSESSED with aeithales, like i hate deserts so the burning maze setting is not my favourite but GOD that HOUSE, the vibes are off-the-charts. i'd love a house made of living trees that's also a greenhouse filled with dryads. meg gets a unicorn. that is so great.

i kind of wish the book hadn't ended with 'Call on me. I will be there for you.' because every time I imagine the friends theme song and i don't think that's the vibe he was going for, BUT i do love him talking to meg, that was genuinely emotional - 'You'll come back?' she asked. 'Always,' I promised. 'The sun always comes back.' ; i really wish it had ended with that, but i guess apollo does tend to break fourth walls and talk to the readers, like a lot of the protagonists of riordanverse books.

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bipercabeth · 4 years

Text

percabeth | hurt/comfort | 3k | commissioned by @mericatblackwood

a post-TLO fic in which we finally Let Percy Cry

Annabeth doesn’t know what to do with anger—her own or others’. She can take her problems to the sword fighting arena or bury her nose in blueprints for weeks, but she’ll still come away with a tight jaw. She doesn’t know what to do with her hands when they aren’t clenched into fists.

So when the tendons in Percy’s hands strain around his silverware at dinner, when his eyes are downcast and he’s closed off in that I’m-angry-but-trying-desperately-not-to-look-it way, Annabeth can only fumble over a painfully casual attempt at conversation and watch as he retreats to his cabin. He doesn’t even make an appearance at the campfire. The flames have been low in the weeks following the Battle of Manhattan, but they’re rising tonight.

The problem isn’t reading Percy; it never has been. Annabeth knows what’s hurting him and why. It’s the fixing part she struggles with.

continue on AO3

He’s been angry for the better part of a year, often because of the ambiguous impending doom of his sixteenth birthday, but not exclusively so. Annabeth caused more than her fair share of his anger, she knows. Rachel had been there to provide an escape in her place, but Annabeth supposes part of being Percy’s girlfriend means that it’s her who gets to provide solace now. Not that she didn’t before, but. There’s a deeper commitment now. He was always her person—as she was his—but it’s out in the open. She’s the first line of defense—she wants to be the first line of defense from danger, be it physical or emotional.

So Annabeth dons her Yankees cap and sneaks to Cabin 3, replaying the conversation where Percy shrugged and said he’s fine when she tried to call him out. He isn’t fine. She knows that much.

That doesn’t mean she expects to find him curled in on himself, bedsheets tangled around his middle. It shouldn’t be possible to look small in a twin bed, but he looks so small—not at all like the hero the other campers celebrate over the campfire. It’s a stark reminder that he’s only sixteen.

He lifts his head when the door opens, his eyes wide. Annabeth remembers that she’s invisible and knocks her cap off her head. She’ll pick it up later. Right now Percy’s breath stutters at the sight of her, his eyes shining like open wounds.

Annabeth can do dry anger: the cold, unfeeling rage that motivates, propels, inspires. But wet anger—the paralyzing, painful kind you cannot power through—leaves her scrambling for purchase. Annabeth is a runner. She doesn’t sit in anything.

The sheets rustle as Percy closes his eyes and takes refuge in his bed like a dog hiding his wounded paw. Despite his efforts, he cannot disguise his limp.

“Please don’t hide from us,” Annabeth pleads.

“I’m not hiding from you,” he says mildly, not lifting his head from the pillow. “I can’t hide from you.”

“But you came here.”

“I knew you would come.” Percy shrugs, casually stating as fact something Annabeth didn’t know herself until a few minutes ago.

In this moment, Annabeth envies Percy’s connection with Grover. She would kill to have a way to funnel her emotions into Percy’s brain in a way he could understand. All the love and concern she can’t articulate could exist in the world without the struggle of finding the right words.

Still, Percy specified her. Grover is out there at the campfire, probably sensing Percy’s pain like a twinge at the base of his neck, but Annabeth is the one Percy can’t hide from.

The thought propels her to the edge of his bed, sitting in the curve of mattress his torso folds around. His knees press into her right thigh as he shifts to close the space between them. Annabeth realizes with a jolt that he left this space for her to occupy.

On her other side is his face, youthful and soft in the moonlight streaming through the window. Blue light for a blue boy, swimming in blue sheets that should shelter him instead of giving him something to fist his hands in. His arms cage his chest as if his heart is trying to escape it.

Annabeth reaches for his hand, drawing it to rest between hers. If his heart is a burden, it’s not one he has to bear alone. They held the weight of the sky once. They can handle this.

For all their shared burdens, the one that weighs on Percy now is uniquely his. Annabeth is a hero, but not the hero. Shouldering “child of Athena’s final stand” for a few weeks is not the same as “hero’s soul, cursed blade shall reap” looming overhead for four years. Percy’s very existence has been dissected and politicized since the moment he was claimed, whereas Annabeth could’ve chosen a quieter, quest-free life if that’s what she wanted. She chose to pick it up. Percy’s choice was to stand under a weight that would otherwise crush him.

It occurs to Annabeth that everyone who has shouldered this burden before him is dead. The heroes whose birth was prophesied, whose death was prophesied, died fighting their battles centuries ago. There are no words for that.

Words are Percy’s strong suit, anyway. He has always known what to say to calm his friends down. Annabeth can’t recall the last time she saw someone do the same for him.

She squeezes his hand and focuses on being here, where it matters.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks, knowing he doesn’t. Or rather, knowing he doesn’t want her to have to talk about it.

As expected, Percy burrows deeper into the bed. Half his face is squished in his pillow; the sole eye Annabeth can see fixes on the empty space in front of him. He gives her a noncommittal shrug she doesn’t buy. But at least he won’t lie outright.

Silence follows. It nips at Annabeth’s ankles, nagging her to move, to do something, but she decides to sit with the discomfort. The confession he’s suppressing is a palpable thing: Annabeth watches it stutter in his lungs and claw its way up his windpipe. Percy will tell her when he’s ready, and she’ll be here when he is.

“I’ve been having dreams,” he says, still not meeting Annabeth’s eye. That’s okay, though. He’s getting the words out. That’s what matters, right?

“What kind of dreams?”

Percy grimaces. “Not the useful kind. Nightmares, mostly. About the war.” He doesn’t breathe between the sentences, just grits his teeth.

“It’s over, Percy. The war is over. We can rest now,” she tries.

“They can’t.”

Dread settles over Annabeth, but she asks anyway. “Who can’t?”

“Beckendorf,” he chokes, his hand tightening in hers. “Silena, Castor, Lee, Michael—I killed him, Annabeth. I told the others where to go, and they died because of me, but I killed Michael.”

Annabeth opens her mouth to interrupt, but the names keep coming. Percy steamrolls through the tears, leaving her to watch his anger limp along until it collapses into the worn bed of sadness.

“Ethan shouldn’t have been on Olympus. I should’ve hit him harder, then he might have stayed down. And Zoe—I knew she was going to die. We found out who her dad was, and I knew and I couldn’t do anything. And Bianca wasn’t supposed to stop the automation. It was supposed to be me. She could’ve come home to Nico, and maybe then—”

“Percy…”

He shrinks with each word, looking every inch the child Annabeth found on Half-Blood Hill: bruised, tired, and crying for his mother. “My mom died because of me. I didn’t even save her—I saved the world, because that’s what I had to do. Hades let her go, but she still died.”

Annabeth gapes at him uselessly. To love Percy is to know intimately the amount of guilt and unearned blame he assigns himself, but that doesn’t make it any easier to stomach.

“You saved your mom,” she reminds him. “You saved her and the world. You shouldn’t have had to do either, but you did.”

“But I didn’t save the others.”

“No one could’ve.”

“I should’ve. When you fight the way I can, the people who die around you die because you can’t get to them fast enough. If I had just been faster, I...” He takes a shuddering breath. “Why do I get to survive when they don’t?”

A lifetime of war games and war alike, and that question is the worst thing Annabeth has ever heard. Percy is just laying there, still not meeting her eye, and she doesn’t know how to help him.

Terrified of how he’ll answer that question, Annabeth leans down to kiss him before he can. She tries to pour everything into it despite not having too much experience. Kissing Percy so far has been fun, sweet, and definitely trial and error. Nothing this desperate, this needy. She inhales him like she can steal the painful words from his lungs before he says them.

Annabeth tastes tears and pulls back, terrified that she’s done something wrong. Instead, Percy’s hand catches the back of her neck, keeping her close enough for their foreheads to touch. It’s there, inches away from his trembling lips, that Annabeth finds the words.

“You saved me,” she pants. “From the Furies on the bus, at the Lotus hotel, when Polyphemus knocked me out—” her fingers travel to his grey streak— “when we held up the sky, at Mount St. Helens, on Olympus… Too many times to count. From the first day we met, you gave me hope.” She strokes his cheek and wipes away the tears, feeling her own eyes well up. “Every day. You save me every day.”

Percy clings to her hand on his cheek and releases a deep breath, fully exhaling for the first time all night. “You save me just as often.”

“So let me do it now, yeah?”

Percy looks at her, green eyes wet and wide, and nods carefully. Annabeth sighs her relief against his forehead before pressing her lips there with an aching softness. There is more to say, but she takes a moment to just hold him. The Fates deemed her his anchor to mortality, so anchor him she will.

“You survived because you were saddled with the weight of the world at twelve years old and the gods owe you a fucking break.” She looks at the ceiling, almost daring thunder to rumble. The sky stays silent. “More campers are alive than dead after a war with impossible odds, Percy. You saved so many, but you can’t save everyone. None of them would want you to blame yourself for this. We have to honor their sacrifice—and, in some cases, their choice.”

That breaks him. The last of his anger gives way to painful sobs, the ugly kind that squeeze your lungs like a spasming fist. In this moment, he is not the wounded dog, but rather the limp itself: the awkward cadence of his breath reminiscent of limbs struggling to hold new weight.

“What do you need?” she asks. “What can I do?”

The mattress jostles as Percy scoots closer, freeing up part of the bed. “Could you stay here with me? Wake me up if it gets bad? If you have to go back to your cabin, that’s fine—”

He’s cut off by Annabeth kicking off her shoes and crawling into bed behind him. There isn’t much room on the twin mattress, but she tucks her knees into the backs of his and wraps around him, and they fit well enough. She settles quickly to avoid overthinking, glad for the excuse to be close to him.

This is entirely unfamiliar territory, as Annabeth discovers when she tries to figure out what to do with her hands. She’s never spooned someone before.

Percy senses her hesitation and laces their fingers, pulling her arm around his torso. Annabeth squeezes him tight, like maybe lining up their hearts will calm the frantic beat of his. Between that and her body protecting his Achilles spot, she’s got him.

It’s a little awkward, the silence that follows. They haven’t exactly had pillowtalk before, let alone while calming Percy during a breakdown. Annabeth doesn’t know how to hold him to make all that go away, so she clings to him as tight as she can.

“You’re like a boa constrictor,” he chuckles. It’s a wet, half-hearted laugh that tells Annabeth he still has more to say. He’s at his worst when he’s deflecting.

Still, she moves to loosen up. “Sorry.”

He tugs at her hand. “No! I mean, it’s nice. I feel… safe.” He pauses, his breath deep. “I always feel safe with you.”

Annabeth hasn’t kissed much of him apart from his lips, but she liked the comfort of kissing his forehead. She tightens her grip again and presses her lips to his shoulder, just because she can.

“Sometimes they’re about you,” Percy whispers.

Annabeth lays her cheek on his shoulder, trying to see his face. “What?”

“The nightmares. Sometimes they’re about losing you.”

“Percy, look at me.”

The tension falls from his spine as he flips around, tangling further in the mess of sheets. Annabeth smooths everything out for him before laying on her back and tugging him close. He ends up halfway on top of her: his arm around her waist, her hands in his hair, their legs a tangled mess.

She holds his face, thumbs swiping at his cheeks gently. He may be invulnerable, but he’s a fragile thing. Maybe even more so with the invulnerability.

“Tell me about them.”

“What? No. Annabeth, I’m not— I can’t talk about you d— about losing you. I can’t say those words.”

Annabeth just holds his face and his gaze. “You should. Talk about it here, safe, with me, and maybe it won’t be so bad when you fall asleep. I’ll be here the whole time.”

The tension in Percy’s body is palpable as he resists Annabeth’s coaxing. But slowly, she slips her hands to his scalp and massages him there, leeching the stress from his body as he sinks forward into her. His weight presses Annabeth into the mattress. It’s comforting, having him above her. She can feel every breath he takes, every time his heart beats in his chest.

“We’ve almost died a ton of times, but that was always together.” He swallows, and his Adam’s apple bobs against her collarbone. “But then on the bridge with Ethan, when you took the knife…”

Percy takes a shuddering breath.

“Sometimes we get you to the hotel and Will can’t help. Or I can’t find Will. Or Blackjack can’t grab you. Or—” his grip tightens around her, and his tears fall on her skin. “Sometimes you, you die right there at my feet. You jump a second earlier, and Ethan hits you in the chest, and I kill him for it. I kill everyone on the bridge. Most times it’s an accident, just the river listening to me, but sometimes… sometimes I don’t know. Both scare me.”

One of Annabeth’s hands moves to his Achilles spot of its own accord. Percy gasps into her neck, where some tears fall as well. He’d fought his way through his confession, coming from somewhere so deep inside him that the deluge of tears was unavoidable. She hopes to distract him from them now.

“You saved me on that bridge,” she reminds him, her free hand scratching lightly at the base of his neck.

“But what if I didn’t?” he breathes. He sounds so small.

“Doesn’t matter. You did. Anything else is a hypothetical.”

“But in the future—”

“Uh uh.” Annabeth’s chin taps Percy’s temple as she shakes her head. “It’s like strategy. You can think and think and think and plan your whole life out, but it’s not real. You never know what’s going to happen until your feet hit the floor. Are your feet on the floor?”

“No,” he grumbles.

“No,” she echoes. “You’re in bed. You get to rest now.”

Percy is still for countless heartbeats. Right when Annabeth thinks he might’ve fallen asleep, he props himself up on one elbow to look at her. Even in the lowlight, Annabeth can make out his puffy eyes and wet cheeks.

“You know you’re my best friend, right?” He sniffles, his nose wrinkling adorably as he does, and his eyes bore into Annabeth’s. “You’re my girlfriend too, but you’re my best friend first. Always.”

Annabeth hears that statement for what it is and grins despite the tears prickling in her own eyes. “And you’re mine. Always.”

A smile breaks out on his face like dawn at this late hour, brightening up the small space between them. Exhaustion sets in to close it, drawing Percy to settle back into Annabeth’s neck with the slow pull of gravity.

They drift off in a bed made to be slept in alone as they share a burden made for one person. Newness tinges the corners of this memory, this moment Annabeth finds herself missing before it’s gone: Percy asleep above her, finally getting the peaceful rest he deserves. Part of Annabeth wants to stay up all night to make sure he gets the most of it, to watch his back as she promised to do, but her eyelids are heavy with sleep in no time.

What sticks with Annabeth is this: Percy’s breath slow and steady against her neck, his heartbeat reliable as ever as it syncs with her own. The world is warm and safe despite all the evidence to the contrary, and that’s what makes this moment untouchable. Despite all the evidence to the contrary, here they are. Together in every way that matters.

#i hurt myself writing this i am not going to lie #if u read this on tumblr all i ask is u give it some love on ao3 bc engagement with tumblr is Trash but i try to keep commissions accessible #commissions #my percabeth #my fic #mericatblackwood

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winryofresembool · 3 years

Text

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 37

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: New Year’s Eve, pt 2

A/N: A new chapter! We'll finally find out what happened after that annoying cliffhanger in the previous one. Anyway, I would like to note that this chapter deals with some mental health related issues and there is also a mention of a shooting (note: mention) so if you'd rather avoid that kind of stuff, then it may be better to skip this chapter.

That said, I hope you'll still enjoy this chapter! And don't forget that I'm always really happy to hear from you guys!

Words: 3500+

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: panic attack, mentions of shooting

previous chapter / AO3

...

“Calypso, I think you should come. Something’s not right with Leo.”

It took Calypso a moment to register what Nico had said. She just kept staring at him, a frown creeping on her face as she was trying to figure out if she had heard him correctly.

“Something’s… not right with Leo? Wha-what do you mean?” She finally managed to ask.

“We were just talking… I don’t know, not about anything special… and suddenly some fireworks went off nearby. Like, too close for it to be legal. He got really restless - even more than usual - and he wanted to go and look for you but given his state I told him it was probably better if he sat down while I would find you.”

“When you say restless, what exactly do you mean?” Calypso asked.

“He was shaking and his breathing was labored and he got this panicked look on his face… as if he was seeing something I couldn’t see. And when I tried to talk to him, he didn’t respond. He started tapping with his fingers, like he was trying to message me something that way. I don’t know. But I think he’s having a panic attack.”

Calypso’s heart sank. She wasn’t entirely unfamiliar with panic attacks either so she knew how horrifying it could feel. Based on her own experiences, when you were having one, it was really, really hard to convince your brain that it was going to be OK. It just wouldn’t listen. And that could go on for a long while. The worst part was that it could get triggered totally unexpectedly, like now in the middle of the party.

“Oh gods… where is he now? I don’t think he should be alone.” In that moment Calypso didn’t care what the others thought about her worrying; her instinct to be with him was much stronger.

“He’s still in the kitchenette…” Nico responded and Calypso didn’t waste any time, marching out of the balcony as fast as she could.

“So, you think the fireworks triggered the panic attack?” she asked Nico over her shoulder while she was walking.

It took him some effort to keep up with her. “Probably. Before it happened, he was just explaining to me that his family always needed to put Festus into the most light and sound proof room of his home during New Year and 4th of July because he really hated the fireworks. Apparently Festus’ fear is one of the reasons why he himself doesn’t like them.”

“That would certainly make sense,” Calypso agreed. She didn’t have time to ask more when they already reached Leo’s resting spot. Even though she had seen him angry and scared before, this felt different compared to those times. He had wrapped his arms around his shaky legs and when he heard the others approaching, he looked up, his eyes bewildered. Calypso even noticed that there was also wetness on his cheeks and she needed to brace herself so that she didn’t start tearing up as well. She sat down next to him and started speaking in as soothing a voice as she was capable of in that situation.

“Leo… It’s gonna be OK. I’m right here.” She started stroking his back with light, gentle motions.

“Cal?” He muttered with a broken voice. “Thank goodness… I was afraid that…”

“Afraid of what?” Calypso frowned, still trying to sound as calm as possible. “That I was going to go somewhere?”

“Not… here…” he murmured, referring to the fact that they had several pairs of ears listening to them.

“Oh. Right,” she replied understandingly. “Hey… I’m going to ask Frank if he’d allow you to rest in his bedroom for a moment. You know… just until this passes.”

“Fine,” Leo nodded slightly. Luckily Calypso didn’t have to go searching because Frank entered the room as if on cue.

“Frank, I think Leo needs some quiet space for a moment,” Calypso told him when he was observing the situation. “Can we borrow your bedroom?”

“Sure, of course,” Frank agreed instantly.

“Thanks a lot. Don’t worry, you’ll get your room back once he recovers,” Calypso addressed Frank before turning back to Leo. “OK, let’s go then.”

She took his hand and pulled him up, directing him towards the bedroom. When she turned to give the hosts a reassuring nod, she noticed they were watching her and Leo worriedly.

“Uh, do you need any company there?” Hazel asked.

“What do you say, Leo?” Calypso didn’t want to make any decisions for him.

“Just Cal is fine,” he muttered.

“Thanks, though,” Calypso addressed Hazel. “I will let you know if I need any help. I, um, have some experience with this kind of stuff so I think I can handle it.”

“Alright. We’ll make sure no one interrupts him,” Hazel referred to the other guests who were still partying on the other side of the wall. Calypso didn’t understand how anyone could still feel festive but then again, they didn’t know her boyfriend like she did.

Closing the door behind her, Calypso helped Leo on Frank’s bed and turned on a light on the bedside table. Then she sat down next to him and swept his hair from his eyes, pressing a soft kiss on his forehead. When she pulled away, she sighed:

“I’ve also had panic attacks in the past. I’m no expert by any means, but for me, it usually helps a bit if I lie down and just try to focus on my breathing. Maybe you could try that.”

“Alright,” Leo complied. He laid down on the bed, using her legs as a pillow for his head, and rested his hands over his chest. Calypso ran her fingers through his hair and kept talking to him soothingly.

“So what I do is that I breathe in slowly – I try to count to four when I do that – then I hold it for a moment, and then breathe out just as slowly. And repeat.”

Leo blinked to let her know he understood and followed her advice. Calypso knew that she should try to reduce the distractions in that situation so she didn’t say anything for a while; she just kept combing his hair with her fingers and humming the first song that came to her mind; New Year’s Day.

“Do you feel any better?” she asked once Leo’s hyperventilating seemed to have calmed down somewhat. She herself felt lighter as well seeing that he was starting to recover.

“A bit,” Leo answered hoarsely.

“It’s OK. Sometimes it takes a moment to pass but you’ll get there,” she said encouragingly. “Just keep your eyes closed and try to focus on something that keeps you grounded to this moment. Like something you feel or hear or smell or anything…”

“I like it when you play with my hair. It feels nice,” Leo stated bluntly.

“OK. I’ll keep doing that, then.”

It was quiet for a while again, aside from the sounds outside the room. Calypso was thankful that the firework sounds weren’t that loud at that moment because it could have set back Leo’s recovery process.

“Talk to me,” he said suddenly. “About anything.”

“Alright.” Calypso stopped to decide a topic for a moment. “This may sound weird, but when I’m having one of my bad moments, I try to picture my happy place. I think that was something my mum advised me to do already when I was a kid.”

“What is your happy place like then?” Leo asked quietly.

A tiny smile raised on Calypso’s lips when she started imagining it.

“It’s some place warm. Somewhere where I can see the sun shining and birds singing and smell the salty sea air and maybe some eucalyptus trees… Earlier… when I tried picturing it… I was usually alone there. Like, I wasn’t able to picture anyone else with me there for some reason.” She was glad that Leo couldn’t see her blushing because his eyes were closed. Normally, she would have a hard time admitting these kinds of things but seeing Leo’s vulnerable state, she felt her walls disappear. “But now? I think I’d want you to be there too. And why not Festus and maybe some other animals too if you liked that. Georgina doing her things somewhere in the background. And… Well, that was it.” Calypso did have another wish too, but it was way too personal and way too early into their relationship to even mention it, especially in the current situation.

“I think that sounds great,” Leo answered. A tiny, lopsided smile appeared on his face briefly and Calypso took that as a good sign. He wasn’t trembling anymore either.

“Yeah. Well, what about you? What’s your happy place?”

Leo thought about it for a while. “I… I feel most comfortable with my machines. So… I think I’d like to be in a giant garage. Where it smells like machine oil and where I get to listen to Rolling Stones or some other old school rock bands…”

Calypso remembered that Leo had once told her his mom had used to listen to those bands. “I get why you would want that, but wouldn’t it be lonely there?” she asked.

“No,” Leo shook his head. “I wouldn’t be alone there. I would like you to be there too. If you wanted to. And of course my family and Festus too.”

“But what would I do in your garage?” Calypso asked confusedly.

“You would have your own space there,” Leo answered slowly. “You know, for your own things. Sewing machine, fabrics, painting equipment, you name it. Maybe there would be a greenhouse outside the garage for your plants… or a garden… Whatever you prefer.”

“Oh.” Calypso’s mouth formed an ‘o’ when she tried to picture it. Leo had clearly thought about this topic more than she had expected. “That sounds amazing…”

She was already going to change the topic when Leo surprised her again by continuing: “You and I are both good with our hands, making new things, so we could try to create something together, combining our skills. Who knows, maybe we could even start a company or something together. Once we’ve graduated, of course.”

“Hold on.” Calypso furrowed her eyebrows. “You’ve put a lot of thought into this. Would you actually want to do that?”

“Yeah, why not?” Leo asked, finally opening his eyes and looking up at Calypso. In the darkness of the room they looked almost black but the lamp on the bedside table gave them a warm glow.

“You mean it?” Calypso had never had anyone who would have included her into their future plans in her life before and suddenly she felt a bit overwhelmed with emotion when she understood that someone actually cared about her that much.

“Yeah. Of course. You really think I start joking about that when I’m…” he gestured at himself, “in this state?”

“No, of course not,” Calypso tried to reassure him, removing one of her hands from his hair and squeezing his hand instead. “It’s a… really nice dream. Maybe… if everything goes well… it can become true,” Her voice started cracking because she had just realized how much she’d really want the dream to become true, for both of their sake, but she found it scary to think too far into the future. The quietness from her father’s end kept her on her toes even now and there were a lot of other question marks in the air as well.

“Maybe.”

“You’re not hyperventilating anymore,” Calypso decided to change the topic before she got too sentimental. “That’s good.”

“Your advice really helped,” Leo stated. However, his eyes were focused on something Calypso couldn’t see and that made her believe that something was still bothering him.

“Does this happen to you often?” Calypso wanted to know. “I mean, the panic attacks.”

“Not so often lately,” Leo replied. “Believe it or not, for the past year or so I’ve been pretty good.” He lowered his voice into a whisper when he added: “Even better when I got a new roommate. But before I moved in with my family and got some therapy, it was… it was pretty bad.”

“I hate that you had to go through that…” Calypso tightened her grip on his hand slightly.

“It is what it is,” Leo sighed. “At some point… you almost get used to it. But really, I have made some progress. Um, despite the slight setback at Christmas,” he added when he saw Calypso’s skeptical expression.

“But that was understandable. It can be a difficult time for anyone…” Calypso left the words ‘who has lost someone important to them’ unsaid because she doubted that Leo needed more reminders of that particular incident in that moment.

“Yeah… You might be right,” Leo muttered, and silence fell into the room again. Calypso kept absentmindedly running her thumb on the back of his hand while she listened to the chatting and laughing on the other side of the wall.

Eventually, she asked quietly: “Do you know what caused the attack? If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine, of course.”

“The fireworks… I remembered some things when I heard the bang…” Leo managed to say.

Calypso raised her eyebrows. “I’m sorry if I ask too much, but what things did you remember?”

“It was… I was living on the streets back in those days…”

Calypso allowed Leo to take his time, not pushing him to continue with his answer.

“It was late at night… I was still in Houston back then. I had this spot in the outskirts of the town where I thought I was safe from the cops and other people I didn’t want to run into so I used to hang out there a lot.”

“Safe from cops? What do you mean by that?”

“I knew that if they caught me, they would bring me right back to my old foster home… Or worse, a new one that was even worse than the previous. I’ve told you, I didn’t have good experiences in my foster homes.”

“Yeah… I remember,” Calypso nodded understandingly.

“Besides, I didn’t exactly have a lot of money so I may have had to shoplift once or twice to keep myself alive while I was on the streets. So, not exactly the cops’ best friend. But anyway, that wasn’t the point of this story. I was gonna tell you what happened on one specific day.”

“OK. No rush,” Calypso said. She noticed that Leo seemed to get stiffer again on her lap but as long as still wanted to keep talking, she didn’t want to interrupt.

“So, I was settling into my hiding spot for the night when I heard it. Gunshots nearby. At first I hoped that someone was just out there hunting in the forest, but it was pitch black outside so the timing didn’t make sense. Then I heard footsteps coming closer to where I was hiding and more gunshots. I decided I needed to leave my hiding spot until the people were gone but I made a lot of noise when I tried to withdraw farther from the road so the shooter probably heard me. I don’t really remember what exactly happened after that but I know there was another bang… and a bullet on the tree right behind me… only a few feet from my head.”

“Oh gods,” Calypso gasped. She wished she could say something comforting as a response but it was easier said than done. Leo saved her from the trouble, though, because he added bitterly:

“I got lucky that the shooter had the police after him because he didn’t have time to stop and make sure he had hit me. But… from what I later heard… not everyone was that lucky.” Leo sniffed loudly and rubbed his eyes, trying to hide the tears.

Calypso clenched her fists. “Sorry… I shouldn’t have made you tell me that. But what… What kind of person does that to other people? Especially to kids? I don’t… I don’t get it…”

“Yeah… me neither.”

“But that incident… The sound of the fireworks made you remember the shooting?” Calypso attempted to connect the dots.

“Yeah... When I heard that sound… I dunno. My mind started racing and I started wondering what if it actually was a shooter and not just some fireworks? I didn’t see where the sound came from because the curtains were closed, after all. And when my mind starts racing, it really starts racing. You weren’t there at that moment so I got afraid that something had happened to you. And the panic attack was ready.”

Calypso understood perfectly. When she was having one of her bad moments, she kept reliving her sister’s accident and worrying it would happen again with someone else. It had taken her a long while to convince herself that it was safe enough to drive a car or to be a passenger in one. Even though she was able to drive again these days, the small nagging noise still hadn’t entirely disappeared from her head and she doubted it ever would.

“Well, I’m here now. I’m alright. You’re alright.” She gave him a small, encouraging smile. “Come here.” She patted the spot next to her to tell him to get up from his lying position so she could hug him. Leo looked at him questioningly for a moment, though.

“But what if someone comes in and sees us?”

“I kinda don’t care right now,” Calypso stated seriously. “Besides… I think we are not that great of actors. They probably know anyway.”

“Alright,” Leo replied and sat up on his spot on the bed. He buried his face against her neck and wrapped his arms around her waist, stroking her back as if to get a verification that she was really there with him.

“Gods, I’m making you regret your decision to be my girlfriend, aren’t I?” he mumbled against her skin.

“No,” Calypso said firmly when she broke the hug. “If anything, I think I love you even more when I hear about these things. You’re a really strong person who has just been through too much, too young.”

“But… you shouldn’t have to be my therapist,” Leo noted.

“I don’t see it that way. I want to help you feel better because you’re important to me. Besides...” Calypso added, thinking that a little humor wouldn’t hurt in that situation, “I’m trusting you’ll do the same for me when I need it.”

“Okay, I’ll be prepared,” Leo promised.

Suddenly the two realized that the people outside the room had gathered together and were doing a countdown.

“Ten, nine, eight…”

“Woah, sounds like it’s midnight already. We must have been here for at least an hour…” Calypso said.

“Seven, six, five…”

“Yeah. Time flies fast when you’re having a panic attack,” Leo managed to ‘joke’.

“Four, three, two, one…”

“I don’t get how you can joke about it already, but OK.”

“Happy new year!” yelled a big group of people in sync outside Frank’s bedroom.

“Happy new year,” the flatmates said at the same time.

“Or at least a better year than the previous one,” Leo added. “Although, I will admit it did have some good mo… woah!”

Calypso surprised Leo by gently pulling him closer to her, her hands coming to rest on each side of his neck when her lips touched his. Even though they had already shared a few kisses since the moment when they had decided to cross the line between a friend and a lover, Calypso still felt the sparks flying down her spine like fireworks when she felt Leo responding to it. His lips felt so soft (had he been using lip balm, she wondered) and his body so warm against hers, and it wasn’t until then that she realized that she had been actually feeling rather cold in her dark sleeveless dress.

“Goodness, Cal, you’re freezing,” Leo noted when they broke apart, rubbing his hands up and down her arms. “This is where a gentleman would offer you a coat but as it happens, I don’t have one.”

Calypso smiled at him. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine. Guess I was at the balcony just a bit too long.”

“Oh. Well, don’t do that again,” Leo said seriously.

“What if I will?” Calypso questioned.

“Then I’ll build a sauna into our flat and make sure you use it no matter what my fear says.”

“Wow. I doubt our landlord would love that. I mean, you building a sauna without permission.”

“Pfft, who cares about his opinion?” Leo asked before turning his attention to the sounds of celebration on the other side of the door. “Hey, should we go back to the others? I think I can handle it now.”

“Alright,” Calypso agreed. “And remember, we can leave any time you feel like it.”

“Okay,” Leo nodded and got up from the bed. They held hands for a moment longer before opening the door and having to act like nothing had happened again. Calypso didn’t mind the acting too much, though, when she saw that Leo was able to smile and joke again. Hopefully that year really would be a better one.

#caleo #leo valdez #calypso #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #trials of apollo #my fics #caleo uni au

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hoodharlow · 3 years

Text

Daddy Old Man

AN: This is a complementary blurb/one to @twilightmomentswithyou ‘s request, but it's in Cal's POV. As always ty to @d-oaks for beta reading and editing. Forgot to mention Alexis Ximena is a different Alexis Ximena, remember I was redoing Wildflower (pr!Cal) and yeah, it in this AU. So don't be confused :) enjoy

Requested?: by like 3 anons

Warnings: lil sad moments, angst with a happy ending?

Word Count: 4015 words

Calum rolled over on his bed and groaned into his pillow, wondering who thought it was a good idea to call him at exactly six in the morning on Christmas eve. He patted the nightstand until he found his phone. Nico's mom. He sighed and answered.

"What do you want?" Calum grunted into his phone.

"Good morning to you too," She said sarcastically.

"Well, you'd be tired if your daughter decided to get up in the middle of the night requesting you to repack her bag because she wanted to take only clothes her mum bought her."

"Actually that's what I wanted to talk about…"

"Oh for fucks sake," he began. "You promised Nico. She hasn't seen you in months."

"I know, it just got hectic here with his family, and I can't make it for Christmas. But I'll be there for New Years."

"I'm sure you are."

"Calum—"

"Goodbye."

He locked his phone and tossed it to the side. Calum wasn't surprised that she made up an excuse and called him last minute. He'd be more surprised if she didn't call to cancel.

He settled back in his sleeping position and closed his eyes. Minutes later he began dozing off, but on the other side of his door he heard Nico, Duke and Alexis Ximena's Bernese mountain dog, Bernie. He caught their shadows on the bottom of the door.

The door slowly opened, letting the trio in. After loudly shutting the door, Nico slowly made her way to his bed while Duke trotted over to the edge of his bed. He tried jumping on, but failed. Calum stifled his laugh, pretending to be asleep. He couldn't hold it in as he watched Nico struggle to get Duke in bed.

"Daddy, help please." She grunted as she held Duke in her arms.

"Of course." He giggled.

With ease, Calum picked them up and settled them on his bed. Duke made his way to the foot of the bed and curled up into a ball. Nico crawled to Calum and settled on his side. She placed her small head on his bicep.

Once everyone settled, Bernie climbed into bed. It wouldn't be the first time that he joined them in Calum's bed, which was why Calum upgraded his queen size bed to a California king.

"Blanket, please," she said through her yawn.

Calum rolled his eyes and covered them.

"Thank you."

He hummed in response.

It wasn't long until they fell back to sleep. An hour in, Calum lost feeling in his arm so he carefully placed Nico on a pillow, where she'd be more comfortable. He turned to the other side and went back to sleep.

Around nine, he woke up. Nico had her small arm tightly around Calum's side and her face smushed on his back. Her soft snores filled the room. He carefully turned her and got out of bed. He slipped on his long sleeve shirt.

Duke lifted his head and gave Calum a disinterested look before laying next to Nico. Calum watched Nico wrap her arm around Duke. With that the dog fell back into a deep slumber. Bernie was already off the bed, waiting for Calum to open the door for him.

Calum did his morning routine and put on his socks last before he made his way downstairs. He spotted Alexis Ximena in the kitchen flipping a freshly made waffle onto a plate.

“Mornin’” Calum grumbled to her, going straight to the coffee pot.

“Good morning.” She greeted him. “I thought you and Nico were going to be next door for breakfast with her mom and grandparents.”

“Nico’s mum called a few hours ago, saying some shit about not being able to make it. You know the usual.” He said. He took a long sip of his coffee, sticking out his tongue as the hot liquid scalded his tongue.

"Waffles?" She offered.

"Please." He nodded before blowing on his coffee and taking a sip.

While Alexis Ximena finished, Calum looked back to the living room. Thanks to her, the whole place looked festive. It was like walking into a Crate and Barrel ad. It wasn't too over the top and tacky, but it wasn't simple either.

The only thing that seemed out of place was the Christmas tree. It was the first tree Calum ever bought when he first moved in. He only put out to have some festive decoration since he rarely ever spent Christmas in Los Angeles. After Nico was born, he couldn't travel with her as much. She barely handled flights from Los Angeles to Toronto, so Calum didn't even think about her flying to Sydney.

"I think it's time, we get a new tree," Calum said to Alexis Ximena.

"Finally. I fucking hate that tree," she confessed.

"Why haven't you said anything? You just let me put that piece of shit up?"

"I thought it meant something to you."

"I bought that shit at Walmart for about fifteen dollars."

"And it shows," she mumbled to herself, but Calum heard her. She slid a plate to him. "Eat up."

"Thank you," He hummed. He reached for the honey and swirled it around his waffles. Then he spread a huge dollop of cream cheese on each waffle. He took another sip of his coffee then remembered something. "Weren't you supposed to be in Tijuana?"

"Yeah, but I was just dropping off my dad at the airport." Alexis Ximena said as she cut her waffles in neat bite size pieces. "His flight was at eight. We left here like at four because he had to check in at six."

"Have you slept?"

"No," she snorted. "It's fine though, the past weeks I've been doing night shoots, so my sleep is off."

It was all a lie. Since Calum couldn't go to Sydney, Alexis Ximena decided to fly Joy and David out to see them. So she made up the lie that her dad needed her to drop him off at the airport when in reality she was picking them from LAX. Her dad wasn't even going to Mexico this year. He decided to fly to New York to see Alexis Ximena's mom.

"Daddy," Nico called to him from the stairway.

"Yes?" He answered back.

"Please come here." A few seconds go by. "The bed is wet."

"A shit," he mumbled. He got up from his seat and made his way upstairs.

A few months ago Calum started potty training Nico. It went by pretty smoothly, but they have occasional accidents. Especially the night before something she's excited for, like her mom visiting.

He found her on the edge of the toilet, running her pendant over its chain. A habit her mom would do whenever she was anxious. She met his gaze, and her eyes were widened; they filled with embarrassment and guilt. Tears brimmed around her eyes.

"Daddy, I'm sorry." She blubbered.

Calum knelt down in front of her and held her small hands in his. "It's okay. It happens to the best of us." He softly said.

"But we're late for mami."

Calum stayed quiet for a bit wondering how to tell her that her mom cancelled. Then she spoke up.

"Mami not here?"

Calum shook his head. "There was too much snow and the planes had to stay." He lied.

Nico nodded. "When will she?" she asked.

"Not sure. Let's run you a shower okay?"

"Okay."

Nico hopped off the toilet and exited the bathroom. She held onto Calum's hand as they went to her room. He helped her shower and get ready.

"Do you want your hair down or braids?" He asked her when he sat her in front of her small vanity.

"Down please," she said.

Calum nodded and gently towel dried her hair as best he could before brushing it. He sprayed a generous amount of leave-in conditioner and gently combed her hair.

Nico smelled like an orange creamsicle. Calum was forever grateful for Jesssica Alba when she sent him a PR package of her baby brand. He nearly cried of pure happiness because Nico finally found a shampoo she liked. He had spent months going through baby brand after baby brand to find one she liked and didn’t hurt her scalp. Since then that's all he uses on her.

"All done." He said, setting the comb down.

Her eyes widened at the work Calum did. It was simple, but Nico loved it.

"So pretty, like you, daddy." She gushed.

"Let's go eat breakfast. Mena made some waffles."

"Waffles?" She gasped. She clapped her hands and made it out the door. She poked her head back in her room. "Let's go, old man."

"Hey, who are you calling old?" he asked.

"You," she giggled, covering her mouth.

They made their way down to the kitchen. Nico instantly wrapped her arms around Alexis Ximena.

"Hi, mami Mena," Nico said softly.

When she first started talking, Alexis Ximena or plainly just Alexis were hard for her to pronounce, so she went with mami. Around the time, Nico barely saw her mom because she was on tour and for a while she thought Alexis Ximena was her mom. Alexis Ximena explained that she wasn't her mom, but she loved Nico as if she was her daughter. Eventually Nico started to add 'Mena' whenever she'd ask for Alexis Ximena. It was her way of distinguishing Alexis Ximena and her biological mom.

"Hi, pretty lady. Want some waffles?"

"Yes, please." Nico said. She walked over to her stool. "Daddy, up please."

"Oh so now I'm daddy," he said.

"Daddy old man." Nico giggled.

***

"Are you very sure you want this one?" Calum asked Nico when she finally decided on a Christmas tree.

During breakfast Alexis Ximena convinced Nico that a natural tree is better than an artificial tree, to Calum's dismay. Now Nico and him were at a tree farm an hour or so from home. They spent over an hour going over every tree. From height, Nico wanted a big one, 'taller than daddy', and color. Calum didn't mind explaining. He knew Nico was at that age where she was practically a sponge and absorbed everything. Though it did take her a while to understand that not all trees grow avocados and lemons like the ones her uncle Ashton and her grandparents had.

"Yes. I want this one." She pointed at eight foot noble fir.

"Okay. Go with uncle Luke and wait for me okay."

Luke reached for her and led them to a bench. Calum walked over to the worker and let them know what tree he was going to buy. They told him that it would be ready in about ten minutes. They attached a ribbon with his last name to the tree and went over to help another customer. Calum went back to Luke and girls.

Ashton was going to join them, but Max had somehow locked himself in his studio. So he needed to get him out. Michael was barely landing spending a week in Palo Alto with his godson and the kid's family, so he couldn’t make it.

"Smells yummy," Calum heard Nico say out loud. He watched her spin around until her nose led her to a churro stand. A churros stand Calum had spotted the second they walked in, but did his best to steer them away from it.

"Daddy, I want one," she told Calum once he joined them at the bench.

Calum shook his head, "Not today. We're going to get lunch with Luke and Rory once we get the tree in the car."

"I don't want lunch." She huffed crossing her arms, challenging him.

Calum looked over to Luke for some help. He looked as lost as Calum. It was a side of Nico they've never seen.

"Nico," Calum warned her. He's only used that tone on her once, and she stopped acting out.

"Mami buys them for me." She tried arguing.

"Well, she's not here is she?" he said out of frustration. He quickly regretted saying that to her. When he told her that her mom wasn't coming, she didn't say much. Her outburst is a result of her not reacting to the news.

Nico began tearing up. Her small hands balled into fists as she huffed, trying her best not to fully cry. Her chest rose as her frustration took over her body.

"I want my mami not you," she repeated until she broke into full sobs. Her voice hiccuped and cracked as she begged for her mom.

Calum got down at her level and pulled her into a hug. She kept begging for her mom, mumbling how she missed her. She gave in and wrapped her arms around him. He pulled away and wiped her tears.

"I know you're upset that she's not here, but that's no way to behave Nico. You're becoming a big girl. If you feel sad or mad, you have to tell me, so I can help you feel better. Okay?"

"Yes," she nodded. She looked down at her feet and dusted off the fake snow from her Doc Martens. "I love you, daddy."

"I love you too, Nico."

"These young parents need to have a heavier hand with their kids. Hugging and consoling them is just going to enable their tantrums." Calum heard one of the older parents say to another.

He was about to say something, but Luke beat him to it.

"Maybe you should stop talking shit about someone you don’t know and pay attention to your own kid that's playing in actual shit." Luke nodded his head towards the small child jumping on the reindeers' poop.

The woman gave Luke an offended look before walking away with the other woman.

"Everything good?" Luke asked them.

"Yeah," Calum nodded. "I'll explain in a bit."

Once Calum paid for the tree, they made their way back to their cars. Luke buckled Rory back in his car seat.

"Is she okay?" Luke asked him once he popped out of the back.

"Yeah, she just upset her mum's in Toronto when she promised she was coming for Christmas. I wasn't upset because she cancelled, not the first time she's done it, but because it's starting to affect Nico more, you know."

"Yeah. I'm sorry you and Nico have to go through that." Luke said.

"But we'll get through it, she has me."

"Daddy, I want lunch." Nico yelled from inside his car.

***

When Calum entered his street, Paola, Nico's aunt passed them while jogging with her dog. One thing Calum was happy about was that most of Nico's maternal family lived next door, and she was able to spend as much time with them as she wanted. They've been very helpful when Nico first entered Calum's life. They sometimes watched her when Calum was touring and Alexis Ximena couldn't because of work.

"Daddy, there's Tía and Karma." Nico pointed out when they drove past her.

"Let's drop off the tree and we'll go over." Calum suggested.

"Yay!" Nico clapped.

Calum pulled up to the driveway and grabbed Nico. They arrived at her grandparents' just as Paola came back from her jog.

"Thought I saw you two just now." Poala said, getting down to hug Nico. "¿Cómo está mi princesa?"

"Bien." Nico answered. "My daddy got a big tree."

"Oh wow! Santa's gonna leave so many presents huh."

"He's not real. Mi mami Mena leaves presents."

Paola looked up at Calum. "She's not even three and she knows he's not real."

"Not my fault. She saw a movie about it." He said defensively.

"Wanna come in? My parents are inside." Paola asked.

"Yes!" Nico nodded.

They made their way inside. Calum still remembered the first time he actually entered the house. It was when he dropped off Nico's mom after he made her cry at the studio. Fast forward to about five years, and the place still kept its homey vibe.

Calum helped Nico take off her jacket and hang It on the coat rack. He heard her make her rounds of greeting her grandparents. Before joining them, he sent Alexis Ximena a text that they're next door and might be there for an hour.

He made his way to the kitchen where Amelia placed a bowl of pozole in front of Nico. He hugged her grandparents and sat next to Nico.

"Love, you just ate." Calum said to her. At the diner she didn't want her chicken tenders so she ended up eating most of Calum's veggie burger. If someone should be eating, it should be him.

"But… pozole." She argued, pointing to her bowl.

"Fine, but you're giving me some." He gave in.

Nico agreed. She topped their bowl by the handfuls with 're-chicken'—cabbage—, onion and radishes as Calum shredded some chicken. While they ate, Calum half listened to what everyone was saying. It was mostly their plans for tomorrow.

Nico ate about five spoonfuls of pozole, before making her ' I'm full' face. Calum finished the rest. He felt her rest her head on his side. In a matter of minutes she fell asleep.

"Guess that's our queue." Calum joked when her snores got louder. He carefully picked Nico up. "Thank you for having us and for the food. Delicious as always."

"Come by tomorrow, we got Nico some things. If you can't, we'll just drop them off." Alejandro, Nico's grandfather, said to him.

"No it's fine, we'll stop by. At ten?" Calum asked.

"That works."

"Thanks once again. We'll see you tomorrow." He waved at them.

He grabbed their coats, draping his over Nico like a blanket. When he reached his house, the tree was already off his car.

There was laughter coming from outside his door along with some chatter. Calum immediately recognized the voices. It was his parents.

He quickly entered his house. Bernie and Duke were at the front waiting for them. He made a shushing gesture to them and made his way upstairs so Nico can sleep more comfortably. Not wanting to disturb her much, he only took off her shoes and covered her in his coat again. She softly hummed and hugged her stuffed crocodile, Crow.

Calum made his way back downstairs, but went through the back stairs that lead to the kitchen, so his parents wouldn't see him. He saw Alexis Ximena mindlessly handing Joy snowflake ornaments as she ate Shapes with onion dip. His father was on the recliner with his arms crossed, nodding off.

Before Nico, this was how he imagined spending the holidays with his family once he settled down. He just wanted the most important people in his life together. And it's what he has. Sure the circumstances that brought them together weren’t how he planned, but he's grateful for them because he had Nico and Alexis Ximena.

"Are you just going to stand there and stare at Alexis or are you going to hug your mum?" Joy said playfully, bringing Calum back from his thoughts.

"Sorry," he mumbled sheepishly. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "How are you here?—Not that I mind."

"What? A mother can't come see her baby and his baby?" She asked. "Speaking of babies, where's Nico?"

"She's upstairs slee—"

"Daddy! I'm gonna poop." Nico yelled from upstairs.

"She's upstairs… using the faculties." He pulled away from Joy. "I'll be right back." Calum ran upstairs to help Nico.

Joy went back to her little makeshift station of ornaments. Alexis Ximena went a little overboard while shopping for things to put on the tree Calum was buying it. She was more than happy to help her with decorating.

"Thanks for not telling him that I flew y'all out." Alexis Ximena whispered to Joy in case Calum came in. "I know he would have made a big deal about it if he knew."

"Don't worry about dear." Joy said softly.

Joy felt indebted with Alexis Ximena. Not for the plane tickets, but for everything she's done for Calum and Nico. She brought a side of Calum that Joy never thought she was going to see. He's grown so much in almost three years.

In a blink of an eye he stopped being that brooding and almost hostile guy that claimed love was bullshit. All that nonsense he continuously talked about disappeared when he held Nico in his arms for the first time.

"Pops! Gramma JoJo!" Nico exclaimed when she ran into the living room. She hugged David and then Joy. Still in Joy's arms she asked, "Where is Tiny Teddy?"

***

"Four." Calum said as he emptied his pockets with Tiny Teddy bags. Alexis Ximena looked at him, confused to whatever he was rambling about. "That's how many she had under her fucking pillow. 'Daddy, I can sleep myself,' my arse."

"Oh, I thought she took them because she was gonna share with the other kids when we went to Luke and Aaliyah's." Alexis Ximena said as she reached for a sprinkles bag from the pile.

"You saw her grab them?"

"Yeah," she giggled.

"That fucking little shit," he mumbled.

Calum grabbed the other bags and took them to the kitchen. He grabbed the box of Tiny Teddy and put them back. He closed the cabinet, but then opened it. He knew his daughter and she would find a way to get to them. Grabbing the instant oatmeal packages, he put all of Nico's cookies in the box and tossed the Tiny Teddy box.

He came back to the living room and found Alexis Ximena placing all of the presents around the tree. She placed the bigger boxes in the back and neatly stacked the smaller boxes in the front.

"Can you help me up?" she asked him, smiling at him. Calum knew that smile. It was the same one Nico did when she needed help from him. So he effortlessly pulled her up. "While you're at it, can you help me with my boots?"

"I still don't understand why you wore these? Everyone was in their pajamas." Calum asked her. He tugged them off her and handed them to her.

"Just because I had to wear these corny ass PJs doesn't mean I had to look all fodonga." Alexis Ximena said defensively. She rubbed the soft leather against her cheek. "Plus these are Alexander McQueen."

Calum settled on the couch and turned on the TV. He cursed when the movie blasted Tyler the Creator's song as the Grinch started, and he quickly lowered the volume. Alexis Ximena crawled on the couch next to Calum and rested her head on his thigh.

They were at the part where the Grinch and Max get an obese reindeer to follow their shenanigans when they hear their dogs’ trotting and Nico trying not to giggle. Calum watched Nico stop and smile brightly at the Christmas tree.

She turned to Calum and jumped happily. “Daddy, Santa came!” She squealed.

“Yeah and took all of your Tiny Teddies since we didn’t leave him any.”

“And beer?”

Calum nodded and chuckled, remembering Ashton explaining to Ethan, Max and Nico how in Australia they leave beer for Santa with the cookies.

Alexis Ximena sat up and gave her an exaggerated confused look. “I thought you said Santa wasn’t real?”

Nico toyed with her necklace and quietly said. “Ethan said he’s real.” She sighed and smiled to herself. “And so handsome.”

“Aw you think he’s cute.” Alexis Ximena teased her. She poked her sides, earning a few giggles from her. “Cal, don’t you think that’s—]”

But Calum was too busy talking on the phone to pay attention to her. “Hey Michael! Just calling to say that all future playdates between Ethan and Nico are cancelled. Merry Christmas.” He said.

He hung up and looked at Nico. She had a deep pout and tears brimmed her eyes.

“I like playing with Ethan.”

“Cal, why are you so worked up? Nico’s two and Ethan is four. They’re just kids.” Alexis Ximena laughed.

“Yeah, then he’s going to be five and starting kindergarten soon. You can never trust those kindergarteners.”

TAGLIST: @calumscalm @karajaynetoday @cherryxwildflower @myloverboyash @calpops @idontneedanyone @findingliam-o @5-secondsofcolor @spicycal @sexgodashton @sunshinebabycal @another-lonely-heart @fckingpernico

Special guests: @lukesfuckingbeard @rebelwith0utacause @oldmes

#singledad!Cal and roommate!OC #dad!cal #calum hood imagine #calum hood one shot #calum hood fluff #calum hood oneshot

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