#bitch sounds like a fucking glowstick
Note
Would you ever write another piece exploring Felix's anger? I really liked the story you wrote where he is angrily chopping wood. Maybe Pepa wanting him to express himself more or... I dunno.
I just think it's such an interesting headcanon/story.
I feel like Félix DOES hold a lot of the anger in. Let's explore it? Idk if it'll be smut or not atm, but we WILL get angry Félix, since you guys have been asking about it for a while.
Pepa was a woman to hold onto things. She held onto grudges, memories of the past, and the feeling that something was wrong. Like in her husband. A few days ago, she caught him in a fit of rage as she sent him to chop wood. They had the same raw, angry sex you'd expect from an angry Félix, and she thought that was it. But she was wrong. Félix didn't act out or say anything different, but as he was helping her cook some lunch, she just. Saw something.
Something that was amiss. They hadn't talked about it since then, which was so. Odd. Usually they always talked about their feelings. But whatever it was, Félix just. Clammed up about the topic.
"Félix?"
"Si?"
"I can talk to you about anything, right?"
"Of course! Always and forever. Why, did you kill a man? I can find a spot-"
"No no. I'm saying I can talk to you, so you can talk to me too. You...know that, right?"
Félix paused as he turned off the rice. She noticed it was only a second, and he disguised it, making it look as if it was just the rice that demanded attention, rather than his thoughts. Had he ALWAYS done that?
"Course. What, did I do something? If so, I might have been drunk. You know me after a few shots-"
"I'm talking about the firewood incident."
She shut down his ramble quickly, and she saw just how uncomfortable that made him. He started to grab dishes to pour the food into, putting them on the table.
"Dolores, get your brothers. And what about it, Pepa?"
This was so weird. It just occured to her that he called the kids down here, WHILE talking to her about this issue. Was it a deflection? Was it so she'd be just a bit more careful with her words? Was this in her head? Regardless, he wasn't getting away from her so easily.
"Why are you doing that?"
"Doing what?"
"Deflecting. I thought you'd open up to me about this by now. You always talk to me."
"Pepi, after the kids eat-"
"Three of you, eat upstairs."
Camilo grinned, clearly giddy.
"You NEVER let us eat upstairs! Antonio, let's GO!"
Dolores paused, before inevitably joining her brothers upstairs. Félix sighed.
"Look, it wasn't a big deal. We all have bad days, that was mine-"
"You don't have angry days. Sad, sure, but not once have I seen you that angry. And you were talking to yourself, muttering the same way Bruno does."
"Just. An off day. Really, it's nothing."
Félix tried to start cleaning, but she blocked him from the sink.
"No it's not. If it was nothing, you'd be talking about it. You're dodging."
"I'm not. I just. It's not a big deal, I'm fine. You're getting upset-"
She pushed the pan out of his direction. She wasn't going to let this man just up and do anything to keep him out of this conversation.
"I'm upset because YOU'RE upset and you're not talking about it, Félix. This isn't fair, why is it YOU let me talk to you, but I can't-"
"Because I'm ALWAYS angry, Pepa! So it's no FUCKING different than it is every other day!"
She paused at the volume of his voice. Apparently putting him in a corner was enough to push him. He pushed past her to clean, being rather loud as he started to toss things into the sink.
"I'm angry EVERY day! I'm an angry fucking person! Every day it's different bullshit! If it isn't the villagers acting like privileged brats, if it isn't the bullshit pressure Abuela puts you through,"
The anger came out of him like a faucet. He was loud, he was tossing things around in almost a fit in order to get things cleaned. Even as he lathered up a sponge with soap and water, it was done with anger, him huffing and puffing as he kept ranting.
"It's shit with my family! Oh be nice to Mateo, even though he's got NO fucking filter, I can't fucking talk to my own big brother because fuck having feelings apparently! And the worst fucking part, Pepa, you won't fucking believe this!"
Félix was scrubbing so hard, the damn paint was coming off from the pan.
"It's the fact that I don't tell you that I'm angry EVERY DAY! Because I'm supposed to be calm and collected Félix! And I feel like such a fucking fake to you, I feel like if you ever really knew you'd fucking divorce me, and I'm scared and confused and angry and I just-SON OF A BITCH!!"
He scrubbed so hard on a plate, it broke, cutting his hand. She immediately dove in, grabbing a towel to help deep the cut from being riddled in bubbles and soap. She opened her mouth to speak, but saw tears welling in his eyes.
"I made a promise, on our wedding day, to never lie to you. And I...I feel awful, because I've been lying about how I feel. I love you. And I just. Don't want you to think less of me, Pepa. I'm sorry, you were probably just trying to get me angry so we can have sex. Go upstairs, I'll-"
He stopped as soon as she kissed his cut. She met his eyes, and smiled.
"Félix...you shouldn't have to hide things from me. You want to be mad, be mad! No one is perfect. You can handle my thunder, let me handle yours."
"Pepa, I'm. I'm not as calm as you give me credit for."
"Félix. We're both imperfect. I eat all the chocolate, you don't cut your damn toenails."
"You snore, and I hog the blankets."
"You tell lies, and I don't beat your ass for it."
That got a chuckle out of him. He put his other hand over hers, and sighed.
"Pepa I...I genuinely didn't know how you'd react to me actually being angry."
"I'm a grown woman. I can handle three kids, I can handle you. By the end of every day, tell me how you felt, okay? I love you. I want to love YOU. And if you is angry, you're angry."
She stood there, watching this man absolutely melt on the spot for her. He took her hand, and placed it over his heart.
"You're my EVERYTHING, Pepa. I'm so lucky to have you."
"I'm luckier."
"And I'm the luckiest."
She kissed his forehead, before gesturing upstairs.
"Let's get you upstairs. You want to take a nap?"
"Only if you join me. And you know What'd make it extra sexy?"
"Hmm?~"
"If you do that thing I like. You know what I mean."
She did. She chuckled at him, before grabbing his head firmly, and with one sharp movement, made it crack loudly for him. They were both old at this point in their lives, so cracking each other's necks was as sexy as a lapdance. She had to hold onto him to keep him from falling, grinning down at him.
"Happy?"
"Very. You're SO talented ~"
"Uh huh. Off to bed, come on."
"You're so pretty too~"
Pepa rolled her eyes at him, ushering him up the stairs. Pepa knew she had so much more to learn about Félix. But she was more than happy to know that some parts of him stayed exactly how she remembered.
#not transformers#asks#encanto#it's not that Félix tries to hide it exactly#its just#it never feels like the right time#it's hard to be everyone's rock#but luckily Pepa absolutely makes this man soft#also headcanon that idk why i have but do anyway#pepa can crack any part of the body#and yes sometimes she makes people cringe with it#but simultaneously she's a god send#not to bruno though she'd crack her knuckles right in his ears#like a bitch#bitch sounds like a fucking glowstick#everything pops#including that puss-
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keeper characters as things my friends and i have texted!
i'm cleaning out my phone and found wayy too many screenshots
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sophie: i've almost got keefe convinced that storks drop off babies
sophie: this may or may have not incited a breakdown 3:30 am but i've almost done it
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keefe: i'm at the mall with biana she's looking for shoes i'm looking for hot people
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sophie: how does one develop insomnia in level 2? don't know but i'll call it endurance training
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fitz: shut up you simp for my sister
dex: i'm proud
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dex: HOW IS A DEAD PERSON GONNA BE TRAUMATIZED
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keefe: i think i kissed my pillow once when i was 12 or 13
keefe: you know, 70 years ago
keefe: when we still lit things with candles
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sophie with mallowmelt: rock bottom tastes better than it sounds
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dex: idk what it's like to pull a girl i was the one pulled
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keefe: bro my brain waves feel like a siren
keefe: yk what i mean
fitz: i do not
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dex (with braces): imagine loving someone
dex: ...
dex: who has braces
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keefe after sending a picture of himself: omg whos the stylish one i wanna meet him
biana hyping him up: me too he seems so hot wtf
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sophie: YOU WANT PROBLEMS
sophie: ILL GIVE YOU SOME
fitz: this doesn't sound good
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alden: i'm taking a samoa
biana: okay they're five bucks
alden: what no discount? i'm your dad
biana: six bucks
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keefe: i just have the need to be the hottest smarted person in the room at all times to make myself feel valid
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dex: i just wasted 20 mintues of my life on a koala i will never get to see
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fitz: i'm in a whole foods crying by the bobo's toasters
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marella: 420 what's your emergency
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biana: ur so bagelicisous
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marella: shut up band kid
dex: shut up lesbian
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marella: i hope sometimes when the guys at our school are getting a little too cocky they remember that there are literal 2d drawings pulling more bitches than them
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sophie: projection>>>having problems
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biana to keefe: sugar baby would look so good on you
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biana: i love being able to hit men's booties knowing they can't fight back
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dex: british people (derogatory) what tf is beans on toast
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keefe: i WILL breathe more air than you
tam: is this a threat
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dex: this be lookin a little homosexual 🫣
biana: ^us when we see keefe and fitz
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sophie: kmsing 🤭🤭🤭🤭
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biana to fitz: hate to break it to you, you don't like her, you like the boy you think she has a crush on
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grady: maybe getting older is...beginning to like and appreciate bananas
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kenric and jolie: i hope i'm important enough to be the main character from my grave
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sophie: lmao why should i care about anything i'm 15 and i eat chocolate 🤷♀️
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keefe: just bc you know you're making me sweat shake and shiver doesn't mean you can or should use that to your advantage (please do) like what the fuck
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fitz: i'm not that much of an asshole
dex: this is untrue
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dex: good news! no more cannibalism. bad news, beastiality?
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keefe about sophie: the way we're twinning
keefe: she drinks red bull and cuts bangs at 2am i impulsively get stitches with no thoughts in my head bc i think its cool
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stina: currently about to fight this seagull will update
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dex: i wouldn't mind a shorter guy actually if they're too tall i'm gonna have to break their knees to kiss them
biana: that's the fun part! like glowsticks 🤩
#kotlc incorrect quotes#keeper of the lost cities#kotlc#dex dizznee#linh song#tam song#biana vacker#sophie foster#fitz vacker#stina heks#councillor kenric#jolie ruewen#grady ruewen#marella redek
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Episode 2: Attack of the Clones
Loving how i can see the budget increase GOOD GOD THE CGI IS CRAAZY
Ohno padme's clone is gone
HELLO??? ANAKIN??? HES PRETTY NOW ofc he has the rat tail
Obi wan flop era uggo
Why does he give me young president snow vibes
OHMYGOD IVE SEEN THIS SCENE BEFORE ON THE INTERNET WHERE PADMES LIKE FIND WHOS TRYING TO KILL ME AND OBIWANS LIKE NO AND ANIKINS LIKE YES OFC ANYTHING FOR YOU SENATOR
Ok beginning of rebel anakin
Please tell me he doesnt go to the dark side for love
THE WORLD BUILDING IS CRAAAZZYYY THE SCReENS AARE SO CRISP IM SO IN AWE OHMYGOD
SNAKES IN HER BED SNAKES IN HER BED
OBIWAN JUST ZIPLINED WITH NO ZIPLINE ATTABOIY
How does the past look so much better than the future
I cant believe this is 2002 IT LOOKS SO MODERN
tHE HUMOUR THE CLARITY THE ACTION EVERYTHING IS SO FRESH
Ok anakin is crazy
DID HE JUST DRIVE INTO ELECTRICITY?? ANAKIN OBIWAN IS OLD FUCK YOU DISRESPECTFUL RAT TAIL HAVER
do you think you’re shelock holmes anakiN??? STOP JUMPING OUT OF MOVING VEHICLES ONTO ONCOMING SKY TRAFFIC ANAKIN
Idiot lost his lightsaber
“You’re the closest thing i have to a father” FUCKIN BITCH
Okay sorry about gay allegationing obiwan and vader when I DIDNT KNOW HE BASICALLY RAISED HIM
Bro anakins hair is something else
IS THE CHANCELLOR OLD GUY EVIL IS HE??? IS HE THE EMPEROR TO BE
Padme IS THEIR MOMMM
Bro yoda hates all the jedis hes so sassy for what “too sure of themselves they are, even the older ones” *pointedly stares at obiwan*
NOWAY PADME LEFT IT TO JARJAR IS SHE CRAZY
Ok anakin your job is to protect her not use her as a vent journal
ANAKIN CAT NOIR
I just know hes kicking his feet at the assignment
IS R2 THE CHAPERONE CDJBDEK
Bro anakin is cheeeeesssiiiinnggg HES SUCHHHA SIMPP IM GETTING SECOND HAND EMBARASSMENT ;))) one might even say ‘)))) we jedis are encouroegd to love eheh ;)))
IS obiwan walking into a huge ARMY trade deal KNOWING NOTHING and IMPROVING HIS WAS THROUGH
Oh STORM TROOPERS ARE CLONESSS
OH MY GOD THIS MEME
“SOUNDS AWFUL LOT LIKE A DICTATORSHIP TO ME”
“WELL IF IT WORKS” THIS IS WHERE ITS FROM
anakin : ugh i am so angry i serial killed ugh
padme: dw to serial kill is to human
(????ok enabler)
Ohmygodddd NOOO WHY WOULD SHE DO THIS IM SO SICK OF JARJAR
WAIT YODA USED STORM TROOPERS FIRST???? WHA HOW DID THEY END UP WITH THE EMPEROR THEN was it anakin
Ok not the biggest yoda fan
Wowww how convenient obiwan discovers an army ready for use right when theyre being threatened
Everytime they say dooku i laugh
Anakin is a stupid man child - RUNNING INTO PROBLEMS WITH GLOWSTICKS AND HOPING IT DIES PT39382992 - guess it runs in the family
OHMYGOD ANAKIN DOUBLE HAND LIGHTSABERING LIGHTBASAVERING
HAHA HE GOT HIS HAND CUT OFF LIKE HE CUT OFF LUKES he just wanted him and luke to share something :( he just wanted to teach luke :( its okay i forgive you for cutting lukes hand darthy
YODA IS SOSOSO COOOL
WHO IS THE EMPEROR HELLO?
(5/9)
(ALSO DW GUYS IM NOT FOLLOWING ANY STARWARS MUTUALS TILL IM DONE WITH PREQUELS SO ILL DO A SERIES OF HELOOOOS SOON)
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I think you could describe them even MORE out of context. A mega contextless list if you will.
aNON??? I... guess you will get your mega list after all! Don't go too crazy trying to figure out what goes to what muse!!
-- sir I know they say to dress your best but this REALLY is not the occasion to be doing this. sir you're going to hell not to prom. SIR!!
-- my favorite little mochi cameraman :] he's very friend-shaped, a little quiet but a good lad a respectable fellow.
-- l-l-lucky number four!! now get in the car, loser. We got seeds to buy from the store.
-- i roasted you so hard you got thanos snapped out of existence. also I think I also gaslit you once too.
...
oh my GOD YOU'RE FOURTH ON THE LIST AND YOU GOT LUCKY NUMBER FOUR'D. SUCK IT BITCH /j
-- is the neutron the powerhouse of the cell. are you the powerhouse of MY cell? dramatic gasp.
-- colors have voices. Orange sounds like a friend? enemy? Green sounds like people you hate. Purple sounds like your friend and your "friend's" roommate. white sounds like birds. pink sounds both like love and whores, supposedly.
you also have a talent for shocking people with no reason and never shutting the fuck up even if you REALLY need to.
Also please never take mushrooms ever again.
also the warehouse. shudders.
-- please stop biting the patroller. this isn't a funny bit this is a genuine cry for help /j
-- stop riZZING UP DEMONBANE but please do keep decking Plutone.
-- you romanticize the wrong sibling, sister. get a GRIP. i love you though. keep slaying, girlquestion.
-- the police but actually likeable. also she explodes you with sweets..
-- miss i know you're sad about your divorce but im TRYING to decode here miss miss PLEASE.
-- omg is that the mcdonalds employee is that the mcgirlfailure. you forgot my mcflurry I'm in AGONY.
-- fruity ass. fruitcake. friend of the lesbians, exploder of the homophobes. ily.
-- sir i know you're haunted by your boss's closet and the food she wants you to cook and the horrors but there's no reason to be THIS dramatic. DAMN.
-- if you disappear to the Bahamas one more time I'm gonna flop over and CRY.
-- punishment this sinner that why don't you stop bitchin' and get some bitches instead. god you're pathetic. /ref
-- you need therapy. and to stay away from the flames the do NOT speak to us they do NOT call our names.
-- sweet tooth with a side of murdering you murdering you mur-
-- you're one of two muses who are normal. congrats, have a cookie!
-- i'm sorry for cussing i'm SORRY i will find an alternative I sincerely aPOLOGIZE PLEASE DON'T YELL AT ME????? also I like penguins too can we be friends. i can ignore the fact you're haunted by the horrors.
-- the first person to ever rizz me before. under the sea rizz /j
-- i love you. you're the light of my life. i only want the best for you. [ throws the fauti at you like a homing missile ]
-- the marriage certifcate is fake and we both know it but at this point I'm too baffled by it's existence to really care. also stop surprise adopting kids that's just called kidnapping.
-- you went from fake marriage to a real marriage and i don't know if i respect that or hate that. it's been months and I still cannot decide. at least, the cake tasting arc was cute!! also give mE BACK MY MUSE'S COAT DAMNIT.
-- how did you murder your wife you are a WEAK bitch. possessed by demons. weak ASS.
-- alcoholic but glowstick
-- stop calling me babygirl i'm neither baby nor a girl.
-- how do you have a husband? no like genuinely i'm SO baffled. /lh
-- father in law.
-- cosmic eldritch horror but the real horrors is the fucking key you keep showing me. please let me go I just want to see my husband and daughter.
.
what do you MEAN he is my husband WHAT.
-- your letters have ruined my life.
-- my VERY real father. of course I get excited whenever i see you around you're very cool and I miss you :(
-- you got hit by the tram once while breakdancing and I'll never forget about that /pos /lh
-- please i just want the divorce papers... what do you mean, I don't NEED a marriage counselor OR a priest. also you threw your friend not once but twice and you're so real for that.
-- the TRUE toxic yuri. also you multiplied and became french which is funny.
-- too many rules to remember. also you're short and I want to rattle you.
-- twitter but cooler!
-- you canonically give spirits bad vibes which is fucking HILARIOUS.
-- i'm noT A FUCKING CAT UNHAND MEE YOU SLIMY WHELP. OUGHHHH also NO I will NOT take a break. >:(
-- the vibes are a WILD way to judge someone but it's even MORE wild the vibes are usually right.
-- the way you just grabbed him was so funny. weak as hell but you had the spirit!!!
-- not a muse i see often but there's like 3 of you floating around and THAT is a funny ass fact.
-- "this is my safety gun." "well can you put it away?" "but my safety gun :("
-- you can't do math yet somehow you made a plan to overthrow your brother and become a god practically and I don't know if I'm impressed or just saddened by that thought.
-- please leave my eyes alone.
-- the manager of the costco! i wonder if he ever got out...
... or unpossessed.
-- no running in the halls!!! /ref
-- bakery owner who i would forfeit all mortal possesions to <333
-- girlboss and her 203948043 vessels
-- peepaw i don't like guns. or fake yous.
-- how's your father's divorce going? do you need a hug. /lh
-- vida la revolution!!!
-- how did you get into my house and why are you talking about fireworks and poetry i just want to disassociate about my brother's traumatic death and disconnect from the world around me, i didn't ASK for an impromptu therapy session.
-- orphan.
-- uno card eater AND number one on the debt list. also your demons. that's fucked up.
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The SCP Foundation as things my friends have said
Bright: Oh I forgot myself at home
Rights: STOP FUCKING ME AND LET ME FINISH THIS LEVEL!
Gears: I don't want you all to die, but if you went missing, I'd say you told me you were running away from this and changing all your information.
Teeth (O5-7): *Distant eldrich shrieking*
Founder (O5-1): I think I just heard my spine snap in half at the mere thought of trying that
Rights: Break my back like a glowstick daddy (Sometimes I think I need new friends)
Bright: So now there are two of us.
Kondraki, to Clef: Why do you look like a gremlin in the intro, but I look normal? Shouldn't that be reversed?
SCP-049: Bonjour bitch.
Kain: I'M A GOOD BOY *Sound of something breaking*
Roth: You say I'm a human in a catsuit, I say you're a cat in a fleshsuit!
Any person in the Foundation about Bright: She might have pneumonia but it's ok.
I have so many more of these, but I want to see if anyone actually wants this before I post more of this. I have come to the conclusion that my friends are all on some kind of strange drug, and I want it.
#SCP#SCP Foundation#Dr. Bright#Dr Bright#Jack Bright#Agatha Rights#Dr. Rights#Dr Rights#Charles Gears#Dr. Gears#Dr Gears#O5-7#O5 7#O5 7 Teeth#O5-7 Teeth#O5-1#O5 1#O5-1 Founder#O5 1 Founder#Ben Kondraki#Benjamin Kondraki#Dr. Kondraki#Dr Kondraki#SCP-049#SCP 049#Dr. Crow#Kain Pathos Crow#Kain Crow#Dr Crow#Dr. Roth
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Barks, Storm, and Glowstick shenanigans
@canonically-a-genloser
Glowstick: What type of dog is this?
Barks: That’s a tortoise.
-
Glowstick: I am an expert at identifying birds.
Barks: Okay, what about those ones flying over there?
Glowstick: Yeah, they're all birds.
-
Barks: If you don't stop talking, I'm going to jump out of that window.
Glowstick: ...We're on the ground floor.
Barks: I know but I want a dramatic exit.
-
Glowstick: Is… Is that meant to be on fire?
Barks: No… not really.
Glowstick: Are you going to do something about it?
Barks: Hm… nah.
-
Glowstick: Barks, you’re such a genius!
Barks: Yes, I know.
-
Barks: If you think I’m playing favorites, you’re wrong. I love all of you equally!
Barks, earlier: I don’t care for Glowstick.
-
Glowstick: Are you this rude to everyone?!
Barks: Yup.
Barks: Don't think you're special.
-
Glowstick: What do you do for a living?
Barks: I exist against my will.
-
Barks: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done.
Glowstick: When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real.
Barks: They're not.
Glowstick: Haha, very funny.
Barks: I'm serious. Didn't you hear?
Glowstick: No... what happened?
Barks: ...Why would you fall for this again-
-
Glowstick: You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch.
Barks: What changed your mind?
Glowstick: Oh, I still think you're a bitch. I've just grown to like that about you.
-
Glowstick: Here is my wall of inspirational people.
Barks: Is that a picture of you?
Glowstick: Yes, I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.
-
Barks: Glowstick, where’s your report card?
Glowstick: My friends stole it from me at school, so now I don’t have it anymore.
Barks: Do you think I’m stupid enough to believe that lie?
Glowstick: What lie?
Barks: That you have friends.
-
Barks: I believe in you, Glowstick!
Glowstick, to themself: God, I must suck. The nicest thing Barks can think to say to me is that they don’t doubt my existence.
-
Storm: Evil never sleeps!
Glowstick: But ugly gets plenty of rest.
-
Glowstick: Hey, what’s your Netflix password?
Storm: ihopeyoudie
Glowstick: Thank you!
-
Storm: Why's it called an oven when you of in the cold food and you of out hot eat the food?
Glowstick: ...What???
-
Glowstick: That was a joke. Say ha.
Storm: Ha.
Glowstick: Now do it again.
Storm: Ha.
Glowstick: Congratulations, you are officially the life of the party.
-
Storm: You have Crayons?
Glowstick: Yes, I have—
Storm: You're— how old are you?
Glowstick: YES I AM AN ADULT AND I HAVE CRAYONS, I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE TV BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS.
-
Storm, trying to comfort Glowstick: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.
-
Storm: What if Cinderella was a baking slave instead of a cleaning slave, and her name was Mozzarella?
Glowstick: Don't ever speak to me again.
-
Storm: That sounds super! Doesn’t that sound super, Glowstick?
Glowstick: No.
Storm: I think I speak for Glowstick when I say it sounds really super.
-
Glowstick: I’m not stupid, you know.
Storm: Well, you’re doing a really good impression of it!
-
Storm: There is no i in happyness…
Glowstick: There is if you fucking spell it right.
-
Storm: Holy shit, Barks, do you know what this means?!
Barks: Kid, whenever you start doing this, nobody knows what you mean.
-
*Storm and Barks are texting*
Storm: Who are you? Someone changed the names in my phone.
Barks: What did they change my name to?
Storm: Chosen One.
Barks: Don’t change it back.
Storm: BUT WHO ARE YOU?!?!
Barks: I’m the chosen one.
-
Barks: Deep down, I'm sure I was always pretty okay with you.
Storm: Thanks, Barks!
Barks: It wasn't a compliment, numbnuts.
-
Barks: When I first met you, I did not like you.
Storm: I'm aware of that.
Barks: But then you and I had some time together.
Storm: Uh-huh?
Barks: It did not get better.
-
Barks: What does a winner do when life gives them lemons?
Storm: Um, make lemonade?
Barks: No, they squeeze them right back into life’s eyes!
-
Barks, passing their phone to Storm: I'm passing the phone to someone, who if I had to choose between hanging out with them, and having my organs removed one by one, I’d choose the organs.
Storm, passing the phone back to Barks: I'm passing the phone to my best friend!
-
Barks: I wasn’t that drunk.
Storm: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important.
Barks: BECAUSE YOU ARE!
-
Storm: My head hurts.
Barks: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.
-
Glowstick : What do you think Storm will do for a distraction?
Barks: They'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
Barks: ...or they could do that.
-
Storm, rushing into the room: It’s terrible, just terrible! I am so upset!
Glowstick: Storm, honey, sit down! Sweetheart, tell us all about it. Barks, would you get Storm some water?
Barks: What are they gonna do with water? Has water ever made you feel better when you were upset? Have you ever heard anyone say, “Thank God, the water’s here!”?
-
Storm: I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand!
Barks: Glowstick quivers before them!
Storm: Fuck off!
-
Barks: Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and…
Glowstick: Was diagnosed with mesothelioma.
Barks: Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said…
Storm: You might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies.
-
Glowstick: What would Barks think?
Storm: Okay, that’s an interesting thought, but hear me out: what if… we ran an experiment where we spent the rest of our lives finding out what happened if we never told them?
-
Barks: I have a bad feeling about this, guys.
Glowstick : Oh don’t worry, you’ll be fine.
Storm: Yeah, what’s the worst that could happen?
Barks, being bailed out of jail the next morning: I hate you all.
-
Barks: Glowstick, gather the others. We need to have another Storm-is-doing-something-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-them-before-they-hurt-someone convention.
-
*The gang is about to do something dangerous*
Storm: Shouldn’t someone give a pep talk?
Barks: Go ahead.
Storm: Be careful.
Storm: Don’t die.
Glowstick : *Holds back a laugh*
Barks: Great. We’re all bloody inspired.
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Thoughts on Teen Wolf the Movie while watching it pt.4
Not Eli just crouching in the corner
"Remember Simba" 🦁
Damn imagine that's how Derek introduced Eli to the pack💀 took him to the look out place/point? and held him up like Simba but he's a little wolf pup🐺 "and all the dragons roared as one" (srry I've been watching alot of Hotd)
Really fucked up of you to have Derek stabbed like that infront of his son who has no way of knowing his dad's not actually dead
Why'd they fall down the stairs?
nah grl ur fam got themselves killed
How poetic of Nogi 📜✒
"I can do this" or not
I stand by the idea that the only reason Eli didn't pass out was bc there wasn't a mirror around 😂
Poor Malia, she obviously cares about Eli very much
Oh, so we just out here stabbing ourselves now? Interesting development in our tale
Also that's the rock I'm talking about, the one where Derek could've brought baby Eli😂
"Can't we just call Stiles?" Is what he was going to stay
why is Jackson eating in every scene😂
...
....
🎶walk him like a dog, sis, walk him like a dog🎶
Second hand embarrassment 😳 Peter why they got you on the floor like that😭💀
I'm weak. Yes, Peter we can see the blood 5 feet infront of you, and you would've seen it too if you had been STANDING
What happend to that scene where Peter was reprimanding Malia "can you at least try to behave more human" We just throwing that out the window😭
Okay I'm done now, I swear
Jackson amd Malia both not understanding a word out of Lydia's mouth😂 (bc they were supposed to be the same person)
Anytime Scott opens his mouth Allison like *pokey stab* *pokey stab"
"...the moment you stabbed me" sir you stabbed urself 🤦♀️
If its all mountain ash then why could Malia, Parrish, and Jackson all walk on it?
Scott: "You remember" Allison: Bitch *kicks*
Malia and Parrish aren't bad, but one I don't think Malia should be in a relationship and two idk there's no background for it
Ahhh Victoria 😱
She is right, history does have a shit ton of handsome killers. So what have we learned? don't trust pretty people😂
I mean, personally I think Kate deserved it. Plus it's not like she stayed dead, so no harm done🤷♀️
Wonder how long Derek's been tryna wake Eli up 🤔
Just an illusion... I'll come back go this plot point later
Ew Scott put that thing away🤢
You know what Allison, if you think he's lying why don't you tell us how you think you died hmmm
Derek still being 🥇 supportive dad for Eli when they're in a hostage situation 💀
Hikari sounds so annoyed at this whole thing, I love her, she just wants to go back to her Ramen restaurant😂
Ain't nobody told Melissa about the devine move last time?
Nah, the other one Parrish 🙄
Boy it's been a recurring thing for years, you've just been too busy in London
Poor Isaac, did he get anything?
um Jackson, and Lydia, and Stiles. We just said his name sweetie
Well shit that's not his problem that you don't remember
"There's no such thing as fate" "There's no such thing as werewolves" why did you do this to me😭😭😭
If your a werewolf hunter shouldn't you know what ur supposed to do to help with wolfsbane
I'd be the same Eli. Gonna get a zillion diseases from his evil nasty ass hand🤮
He's trying, stop shaming him Nogi🙄
oop- Derek said I think the fuck not you trick ass bitch, here me roar
He has bad memories with road flares😬
"Scott you're my brother. So if you're gonna do this...your just going to have to take me with you then" ooooh now I just made myself cry😭😭😭
glowsticks😁
Derek: "Eli, did you see that? Did you see your eyes" Eli: "How the hell am I supposed to see my eyes, they're the things i use to see" 🤣🤣🤣
That is the best line! The best line!🤣
Damn Nogi why you so loud, it's not that deep 😒
That was kinda simple to bring Allison back to less homicidal
Oh we playing chess again, cool. Still don't know how to play😬
Scott got drampled by a herd of deer, Eli got trampled by a heard of hormonal, halfwits (lesser known Peter line) I'll take the deer thanks 👍
"I'm still in love with you" awwww 🥺❤ we know Scott, we know
So how could Jackson able to even touch the mountain ash? Is it bc he's a chimera even though they were supposed to be impossible unless they were genetically altered by the dread doctors?... Jeff explain.
Ow, poor Eli, now he knows the struggle😂
ahahaha Adrian woke up and chose violence lmoa
The main reason this is so funny to me is bc Mr. Harris was always so nice to Jackson wtf happend
How does he know about everyone? Oh well Monroe. But still, I like to believe he was a failed emissary & for people complaining about Harris "being back from the dead" they never actually found his body. I kept waiting for the series to finish that plot line but they never did so I'm pleased that he's the villian (which I predicted he was😁) I'm just confused on his motives and wish they explained it better
How did they ruin your life? And um didn't jennifer choose u herself 🤨 also I seem to remember you saying you helped crazy darach lady so u made ur damn self a loose end🥱
he's right he was in London 🇬🇧
but uh jackson honey, for future reference maybe don't talk when there's a man with a loaded gun, just you know, just in case he decides to shoot u👍
I say we yell fire 🔥
So what's the other layers and their purposes? Is the Nogitsune actually in their layer of the illusion bc remember when Scott, Stiles, Lydia, and Kira were in an illusion with the "Nogitsune" but he was just another illusion bc he was really outside w/ Derek and the twins🤔
Poor Derek, hasn't he been through enough, now he's afraid he fucked his son up by protecting him
i will add to this thou, I've seen a few people say that Derek is too much like Clarke Kent and that he would have a completely different parenting style and while I do somewhat agree we have to remember that people tend to act different around their family and especially with their kids than they are with other people. It's also been a lot of years where he has changed alot to fit having to raise a child by himself (who tf is Eli's mom and where is she?; Jeff said he wanted to explore that in another movie) plus he had to change, S2 Derek would be a terrible father and Eli would've been so fucked up
That cute little wave and the smile back 😊
Wish Stiles would've popped up, he could've been in Jackson place being threatened at gun point (it would make more sense bc Harris hated him) he didn't know why Lydia left, and he would've been the one to tell her it was just a dream
Even if it was a premonition (which I don't think it was, I think fear is a powerful thing and it manipulates you and when you've spent your whole teen years like them just constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, well...) you can't outrun fate
They wail in grief 😔
*clink* *falls to the ground with dramatic gasp* 💀
I still wanna know who the hell Greenburg was
Also calling Scott Greenburg still would be like 30...
Yea ur sons on the field 😁👏👏👏
Flashes to when Stiles was scoring all thos goals in season 2 and everyone was cheering for him🥺👏👏👏
"My dad was actually right. I'm actually pretty good" 😎
omg not him forgetting about his currently hostage father😭💀
Wonder how Derek feels listening to all this 😂
well no shit it's not over, did you forget that ur dead ex ain't the problem anymore smh
Pt.4-5
#teen wolf#teen wolf the movie#scott mccall#allison argent#derek hale#peter hale#eli hale#malia tate#lydia martin#jackson whittemore#stiles stilinski#jordan parrish#hikari zhang#melissa mccall#liam dunbar#mason hewitt#noah stilinski#isaac lahey
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So I got tagged by @diablitocachudo in this tag game so here we go
1. Are you named after anyone?
Yep, my dad named me after one of his exes LMAOO My mom didnt knew until I was like 15, she was not happy about it lom
2. When's the last time you cried?
Three days ago, therapy yknow
3. Do you have kids?
No
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Not anymore I think
5. What sports do you play/have played?
None i think? I played football when I was really young but it was like one soccer game and thats it
6. What's the first thing you'd noticed about other people?
Hmmm idk, their faces probably? I'm bad with names
7. Scary movies or happy endings?
Depends, I like the concept of scary movies but I am also a pussy, so happy endings
8. Any special talents?
I don't think i have one? But I do crack like glowstick lmao my bones do sound a lot
9. Where were you born?
México, Or a hospital idk what to tell you
10. Any Hobbies?
Drawing and writting I guess, listening to music and cooking too
11. 👁️ 👁️
What are u looking at
12. Do you have any pets?
Yes, too fucking many i think, I was known as the "the girl of the dogs" because like 5 dogs followed me to the store when I was younger, those we're usually street dogs I had become friends with. I had many dogs over the years, right now we have 4
13. How tall are you?
1.62 m or 5'4 I think
14. What's your favourite subject in school?
Idk I liked biology and math when I was in school, chemistry was a bitch
15. What's your dream job?
Something art related, maybe edition of photography or maybe comic books
16. Eye colour?
Brown 👁️👄 👁️
Anyway I Tag @jojotier @dash-n-step @autisticsupervillain whatever yall feel like, if you want to do it or not :b
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.
Just fucking love my dad going into Silent Bitch Mode for a whole day so far for unknown reasons.
He refuses to speak and is slamming practically every object he touches in some wordless tantrum over who the fuck knows what because the man wouldn't know healthy communication skills if they danced in front of him wearing nothing but rave glowsticks.
It's real peachy to have to spend my day tiptoeing around and getting glared at like everything I do is offensive and inconvenient. My nerves absolutely love the sounds of roughly handled dishes and cookware, slamming cabinets, and stomping feet. This totally isn't piling on top of all the isolation and medical stress I've been dealing with.
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Markiplier, Muyskerm & a few others play GTFO, Pt. 01
“What am I injecting?!”
“I am into this like a million percent. This is so up my alley.”
“I’ve got very big hands.”
“What’s happening, I’m scared.”
“Oh hell yeah, I’m gonna make biscuits with this!”
“Yeah, glowsticks are chill.”
“There might be bad guys in here.”
“That was trash tier. That was nothing.”
“The squishy, terrifying sounds of aliveness are not good news.”
“Damnit, hold it together!”
“Oh god, why did I get a boner during that presentation?!”
“We’re going in tits out, eyes in, butts up, balls clenched.”
“Let’s do some terrifying bullshit, nerds.”
“I can see your insides, mister.”
“We’re just dancing through this like it’s a meadow full of love.”
“Here, have some foam.”
“When they’re that close together, it pisses ‘em off.”
“Don’t touch the tentacles!”
“I’ve seen enough hentai to know where that’s going.”
“I feel like I was shot.”
“Slap my dick and call me Judy!”
“They did a stupid!”
“That’s not very cash money of you.”
“Crouch, you psychopath!”
“When things go tits up, which they invariably will, what do we do?”
“Your face looks like a fucking car crash!”
“This is a lot of responsibility. I’m gonna kill us.”
“Oh, why did we send the dumb-dumbs?”
“Oh, he’s stompy! Oh, he’s so stompy!”
“Ow! Frickity frack!”
“It’s a lot messier than I thought it would be.”
“That’s not great for situations where we must be stealthy.”
“We don’t have the resources for this.”
“Ready, set, uh…boned.”
“Why am I in charge of typing?! I hate all of you.”
“I don’t like when you say that.”
“This is gonna suck no matter what we do.”
“I’m always ready for a small suck!”
“I know how to handle small dick.”
“Cheese, bitches!”
“I’ve ruined it! It’s my fault! I’ve done everything wrong!”
“Who wants glowsticks?!”
“I go down like a bitch.”
#source: social media#made by red panda#rp meme#roleplay meme#rp prompts#roleplay prompt#rp prompt#rp memes#roleplay memes#roleplay prompts#rp starters
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Can I make a request? 🥹 Gojo being dumb, mistaking your period cravings, sickness and getting bloated as reader being pregnant 😂
JUMPSCARE - g. satoru
"babe, you don't look too good. everything okay?"
satoru watches you closely as you look up from your phone. you're curled in an odd position on the couch, shifting your legs every few minutes in a weak attempt to soothe the pain bubbling just below your abdomen.
if you're being honest, the discomfort was relatively merciful with you today. the seizing, sharp waves of pain that usually rendered you immobile for a few agonizing seconds were duller, so it was bearable.
you hum, the sound seeming to alleviate satoru's worries by the way his shoulders loosen.
"i'm okay, toru," you assure him, smiling up at your unnecessarily tall boyfriend. "could use some fried chicken right now though."
he blinks, jeweled cerulean eyes brightening as the worry seeps out of him entirely. he straightens, raising a singular toned arm to salute you with a grin.
"stay right there, princess!"
you're about to ask what that means, but before you can, satoru disappears from sight. you huff a short laugh and return to the weather app on your phone. leave it up to your lover, gojo 'the strongest sorcerer' satoru to teleport to KFC to bring you, his beloved girlfriend, some fried chicken.
• . ☆° ✦. °.
satoru idly bounces on the balls of his feet, hands stuffed in his pockets as he waits in the ridiculously long queue for his order.
concerned by your strange actions recently, a part of him still feels anxious. your peculiar desire for fried chicken over the last few days has led him to worry, not to mention his fifth visit to KFC in four days.
when he really thinks about it, you'd complained multiple times this week about your nausea but you'd assured him you were fine. he didn't believe that for a minute, of course, and insisted he stay within 3 meters of you in case something happened.
weird.
satoru smiles as he takes his order from the worker, thanking her politely before turning to exit.
you'd whined about being bloated too, he often found your hand cradling your stomach as your face contorted in pain momentarily. he'd been at your side immediately, kissing your face while you breathed through the discomfort.
really weird.
he briskly makes his way out of the double doors, flashing a pearly white smile at a nice-looking pregnant lady as he leaves.
huh. pregnant.
his steps slow down.
satoru turns around again, ocean eyes fixated on the male who gently helps the woman up the steps with a smile that somehow says excited to be a father.
the world seems to stop turning for a second, the eight letters that spell pregnant lighting up like glowsticks in his head. pregnant. the word bounces around in his head, ricocheting off the bone and making a home for itself in the tissue of his brain.
being bloated. the nausea. the cravings.
there was no way. well, there was a way, he can name at least twelve separate occasions in which he'd had you sprawled out under him, moaning his name as he panted into your ear like a bitch in heat during the last month.
satoru genuinely thinks he's been reborn on the spot, a new kind of euphoria surfacing in his brain.
(until some stupid rat-ass kid slams into his legs and he's kicked back into reality.)
he doesn't think he's ever teleported faster in his life.
• . ☆° ✦. °.
when he gets home, you've relocated to the bed. you're lying on your front, swinging your legs in the air as you paint your nails a sky blue.
(one time you unintentionally painted your nails the same colour as satoru's eyes and he never shut the fuck up about it. you now unconsciously paint your nails that colour. satoru swoons over it at every chance he gets.)
you hear the door slam downstairs, signaling satoru's return. he'd taken a bit longer than usual, and you turn to face him as the bedroom door flies open.
"toru, baby, what have i told you about slamming doors? this is the third time you've.." you trail off, raising an eyebrow at your boyfriend who's heaving, presumably from running up the stairs.
"what the fuck is wrong with you-"
"baby!" satoru cries, throwing your precious fried chicken to the floor as he kneels next to the bed. he takes your non-painted hand and holds it close to his heart, ignoring your curses at him over the food.
"why didn't you tell me?!" he whines.
your face only twists in further confusion. what on earth was he talking about?
"huh? what're you-"
"there's no need to hide it, my love. i already know!"
you blink, propping yourself up on your elbows as you eye him suspiciously. you're aware of his tendency to be dramatic, but you'd never seen him like this before.
you cock your head to the side, "know what?"
"about the, y'know," he says, getting close to your ear and whispering, "the baby."
baby? what baby? as far as you were aware, the only baby in this household was the large man-child wailing about something or other at the side of the bed.
"did you hit your head or something?" you ask genuinely.
satoru has to resist melting into your hold when your hands come to cup his face, checking him over for some kind of injury or fever. you find evidence of neither, so you pull back, eyebrows furrowing.
"no! i'm talking about our baby."
your mouth falls open in surprise. did you get pregnant without knowing?? that was impossible, you were literally on your period. and if that was the case, the only person who could be pregnant was...
"toru...." you start seriously, face hardening, "are you pregnant?"
satoru chokes on his own saliva. him??? pregnant?????? his eyes widen and practically fall out of their sockets as you double over in laughter, clutching your stomach and pressing your face into the pillow. clearly, you find this entire situation fucking hilarious.
when your laughter finally subsides and satoru has physically put his eyes back where they belong, you speak again, "no but seriously babe, what are you talking about?"
he pouts, climbing into bed with you and pulling you on top of him. he runs his fingers gently up the skin of your arm, tracing shapes and patterns as he tries to find his words.
"aren't you pregnant?" he asks quietly. "y'know, with all the nausea and the bloating and the cravings?"
you smile into the crook of his neck, partly moved by his genuine thought process no matter how fucked up and wrong it was.
"no, toru, i'm just on my period." you answer into his skin.
"oh."
satoru feels positively stupid, feeling his cheeks burning. he was fully prepared to be a father, he'd also debated pulling out that engagement ring that he'd been putting off giving you for a while.
you bury yourself deeper into his hold, sighing happily as his strong arms pull you flush against him.
"is this your way of telling me you want kids?"
his muscles tense in response to the question. a yes then, it seemed.
"kids would be nice, i guess," satoru mumbles, trying to downplay the excitement simmering in his core. you're experienced though, so you see right through him.
you simply hum in response, opting to press a sweet kiss to the junction of his neck as an answer. he grins lazily, kissing the top of your head affectionately as your breaths even out, indicating your movement into dream land.
maybe, just maybe some part of satoru wanted kids, and maybe, just maybe, one day that'd happen.
(he gets sent on another errand when you wake up to get twice the amount of fried chicken because of his carelessness with the last batch.)
BONUS:
"i blame you for this."
"what!? this is not my fault! i mean yeah, i might have stuck my dick into you a couple times these past few weeks but still-"
"would the both of you get the fuck out?" shoko's voice interrupts as she hands you back the positive pregnancy test, "you two act like an old married couple."
"yeah well my husband over here has some weird psychic powers," you retort, flipping satoru off with a scowl, "because guess who's pregnant after he accused me of being pregnant a month ago!?"
he grins, slinging an arm around your shoulders. "i'm just so great that i have the ability to predict the future too."
"can you look into the future and see if you two ever get the fuck out?" shoko asks tiredly, sinking further into her chair.
satoru grins, kissing your cheek sweetly and laying his head on your shoulder, "nah, i can't see that happening."
#♡. viascribbles#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jjk gojo#jujustu kaisen#satoru gojo#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#satoru x you#satoru x y/n#satoru x reader#gojo fluff#gojo fic#gojo satoru#gojo x you#ask n answer !!
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bone supdate
hello all, Glibet Linus here
thougt i would update everyone one the state of my bones ok Google switch to voice to text Siri hey Siri switch to voice to text
I believe I had last updated everyone after the initial failure of Doctor Joe Papadonkolous’s bone-extraction and slurry-injection surgery. Due to the slurry failing to harden, I had woken up with no rigidity to my body whatsoever, but was able to flop myself out of bed and call for help using voice-activated technology. God bless Mark Zuckerberg for creating the internet and computers. Without them I daresay I’d still be piled in a mound on my bedroom floor, slowly withering away of starvation.
I spent perhaps 2 weeks living life as a wet noodle. I was graciously taken care of by my cousin Gormald, who fed me my soups and shakes while I was out of commission (thank you, Gormald!). I spent my days spread out on the floor, wallowing in my seething hatred of the lying rat bastard of a fraud, Doctor Joe Papadonkolous. I realize this all sounds terribly cartoonish, but this is the hell I had to live.
However, I am pleased to announce that the bone slurry did eventually harden. The downside is that it hardened as one solid unit, freezing me into the position I was in. I had been sleeping while it hardened, and so I was frozen into the plank position with my arms straight at my sides.
However, lovely Gormald was able to crack my joints like a glowstick, and most of my animation returned. The first second I was able to move again I began my search to find that rotten son of a bitch Doctor Papadonkolous godamn fucking asshole lied to me told me he’d fix my bones took my fucking money godamn lying rat bastard of a fraud fuck fuck fuck I’m so stupid why did I believe him damn him damn him straight to hell I’ll show him I’ll show him what happens when you mess with Gilbert Linkus you get the fucking claws godamn it I’ll kill him just like I killed those two men in 1989 and I’ll get away with it too they can’t try me twice that’s double jeopardy yes yes that’s it once I find him I’ll show him the true meaning of justice is this thing still on oh criminy ok Google delete everything I just said.
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hey guys back in September i reread the first six Warrior Cats books and today i reread all the spam i sent Mary
y'all ready for this
tbh my One True Warrior Cats Headcanon
is that Darkstripe absolutely wanted to bone Tigerstar
just gonna imagine THAT Ravenpaw does in fact wear glowsticks and is constantly hauling around a boombox so he and Barley can mosh
once we got to "cats with MAGIC POWERS" everything went downhill lol
Firestar? no magic powers. big of heart, dumb of ass. gorgeous orange himbo. did a fantastic job.
"how can you be sure Barley will welcome me?" buddy you and Barley are going to have THE most loving and functional relationship in this entire neverending series
Thornclaw is one of those YA-novel immortals who dates teenagers even though he's centuries old and i, at age 32, think teenagers are fucking annoying children
me: looks up Thornclaw in the Warrior Cats wiki
me: sees shit about 'codebreakers' and a fucking Brambleclaw imposter and closes the window immediately
CINDERPAW MY PRECIOUS CHILD
and poor Brackenpaw, you're gonna be so neglected, dude.
Brackenfur is absolutely that neglected child who winds up super responsible at a young age and grows up well despite his upbringing
Bluestar: well you're doing a good job with Cinderpaw AND Brackenpaw so you might as well just Keep Doing That
me: poor Brackenpaw
Fireheart, himbo: Tigerclaw LIED to lure BLUESTAR to the thunderpath and CINDERPAW WAS BADLY WOUNDED WHY WOULD HE DO THAT TO MY APPRENTICE
Princess, has more than three braincells: wow that definitely doesn't sound like it was absolutely a trap for Bluestar
ah, poor Brackenpaw, passed around between temporary mentors like a hot potato...
Sandpaw: god dammit at least this kittypet dumpster fire is hot
Fireheart and Graystripe are getting into it!
THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGGGGG
Cloudkit rolling up to the ThunderClan camp like: i'm babey and i want power
lmao love how Fireheart's up on the rock like "let all cats old enough to FUCK IT GET YOUR ASSES OUT HERE NOW WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM"
Oakheart: these are DEFINITELY some abandoned kits and not my children with a ThunderClan cat
Graypool: that doesn't sound right but i don't know enough about ThunderClan to dispute it
i love how every description of Redtail is basically "snack-sized but absolutely will square up and kick anyone's ass"
AND THORNPAW
THE LEGEND HIMSELF HAS ENTERED THE RING
whoops turns out Mistyfoot and Stonefur are filthy half-clan abominations!
Brackenpaw continues to be neglected
if Graystripe could stop sliding into Silverstream's DMs for TWO MINUTES it'd be GREAT
everyone loves Cinderpaw and they're right to do so
Fireheart having a classic Orange Tabby Himbo moment - "oh wow, Stonefur and Mistyfoot look AMAZINGLY like Bluestar... IT'S SO TRAGIC CATS FROM DIFFERENT CLANS CAN RESEMBLE ONE ANOTHER AND YET MUST BE DIVIDED."
but he redeems himself by actually bothering to train poor neglected Brackenpaw
Graystripe: oh yeah this dead cat is my secret RiverClan girlfriend and these are my lovechildren
Tigerclaw: what the fuck
for once having a reasonable reaction to Our Latest Bullshit
ahhhhh i missed Sandstorm's frigid bitch side
SORRY GRAYSTRIPE YOU MADE SOME VERY BAD LIFE CHOICES
casual mention that Whitestorm and Willowpelt did the horizontal tango...
eyyyy Thornpaw Doin' A Rescue
i love how Thornclaw has just become, like... an Immortal Legend (with an underage girlfriend)
Leopardfur... absolute #girlboss... bit of a bitch but we respect her craft...
i love [Bluestar] but she DOES completely Lose Her Gourd over the next two books...
Fireheart: man Tigerclaw's tiny baby son looks pretty sus
like damn, even Tigerstar wanted to be powerful and lead the Clans and shit... Ashfur's just a Nice Guy
Mousefur out-#girlbossing Leopardfur... iconic
Fireheart: BUT THAT ITTY-BITTY TIGERCLAW CLONE IS STILL SUPER SUS
Fireheart: TIGERCLAW JR IS STILL HAUNTING ME
YES FIREHEART YELLOWFANG MAY DIE BECAUSE YOU DECIDED TO SAVE TIGERSTAR'S HORRIBLE SON, A HELPLESS KITTEN. FOR FUCK'S SAKE
Tigerstar: SURPRISE BITCH I BET YOU THOUGHT YOU'D SEEN THE LAST OF ME
Leopardfur's about to gaslight gatekeep girlboss her way into a Bad Alliance with Tigerstar
~caught in a bad romance~
good old Brackenfur... "he had the serious air of an older cat." that's probably all the neglect
ah, but at least Stonefur and Mistyfoot now get to learn they're filthy half-clan abominations!!
Fireheart: lame excuses for why Sandstorm shouldn't mentor Tawnykit
Graystripe: dude as your BFF... you're an idiot...
"this is why you haven't gotten laid yet, Fireheart."
Fireheart: THIS SMALL APPRENTICE IS STILL SUPER SUS
Fireheart is like. the equivalent of a grown man holding a gun on a kindergartner happily playing with some blocks
Fireheart: this kitten is a POTENTIAL WAR CRIMINAL
Fireheart: hot damn Spottedleaf is still SMOKING
meanwhile, Spottedleaf: PLEASE go bone down with Sandstorm, this is getting ridiculous
in my head Bluestar sounds like Cate Blanchett's Galadriel
every other time the poor guy tries to take a NAP his dreams just roll up like "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD"
also i love how One-eye is just... always there lol. she's ancient and grouchy but like hell is she gonna die anytime soon
she has to stay until Thornpaw is a warrior. he's the Clan's new Immortal Legend; she's gotta make sure she passes on the mantle
anyway fuck Darkstripe, Thornclaw is now the Immortal Legend he was always meant to be
love how Tigerstar barges in, kills an apprentice, and threatens to do the same to everyone else if Tallstar doesn't join him, and Tallstar's just like "u havin a giggle there m8? i'll bash your fookin head in i sware on me mum"
welp, Tigerstar fucked around and found out!
got sent to the Shadow Realm for his trouble
love how Barley vagues "oh, Scourge doesn't believe in StarClan" instead of outright SAYING "he doesn't have nine lives" because... that would've been helpful to know
THE END
that was one heck of a journey lol
but a fun one... those books got me through some tough times back in the day... thank you for riding the Warrior Cats Express
(bonus from my brief dive into the Warrior Cats section of ao3)
utterly REKT by the idea of Oakheart being like "well, i seduced Bluestar, might as well try it on her deputy too and see if i can complete the set."
Bluestar, upon reaching StarClan: ah, i can finally see Oakheart again... we did have an illicit relationship, after all...
Redtail: wait you too
Bluestar:
Redtail:
Bluestar:
Redtail:
#Warrior Cats#imo this is a pretty good summary of the series#nobody cares about this besides Mary and i but yolo
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2022-5-21
omg imagine the first time they discovered his hair glows -Pixel
Man that'd be beautiful-
---
At first, Dee had no idea why the hell Lif started cackling.
Didn't take him a second longer to realize why.
The two had made it one of their nightly adventures to find Eden in the pitch black, having texted him merely a good thirty minutes before. It was odd to them when Eden mentioned how easy it is to find him, simply saying to 'look for pink'.
But now he could see why, staring dumbstruck at Eden, squatting low to the ground and waddling around like an idiot in circles, with glowing pink hair.
"Eden, what the fuck??" Dee said in exasperation as Lif crumbled to the ground, wheezing. Eden excitedly cackled with her, shouting, "DEE! MI A ONE GLOWSTICK, YA BLIND PICKNEY!?"
He's gone Jamaican on them. Oh dear lord.
Dee himself had to turn his head away, because he was pretty sure he was also on the verge of a snicker at best, which he was not going to do for the life of him.
Lif practically bounced up, running closer to him as he bounced in place, seeming to grow even more excited when Lif gasped. "WAIT, your shoes glow too!?"
"An' mi makeup!" Eden shouted back, "And mi pants! Mi 'ave a glowin' dick-" Lif screamed in laughter, Dee choked on his own and covered his mouth, and Eden was whining his waist to emphasis his last statement, because he technically would have a glowing dick if he had one yet.
"What now? Glowing underwear?" Dee sarcastically rolled his eyes, scrunching up his face to hide the smile that was getting to him. Eden gasped, pointing dramatically at him.
"MI HAVE FI DO DAT-" "NOO!!" Dee shrieked in retaliation, Lif absolutely dying next to Eden as Dee crouched to the ground, hands in his red face. "I don't want to imagine that, what the fuck man!?" He complained.
The sound of quick footsteps made Dee shoot up, only to yelp when he saw that glowing pink disaster running full speed at him. "No! Get away you bastard!" Lif also took this as her cue to run at him when Dee turned on his heels, sprinting off.
But of course, he was the physically least capable out of the three, getting chased down by a pure monster of athletic spirit and a girl filled with nothing but sheer determination and mischief, so of course he got hunted down and caught, the two crashing into him and sending them all to the ground.
Dee squirmed more than he was sure he ever had in his life, trying to pull himself from this impromptu pile of idiocy, only to jolt when Eden held him tighter, face pressed to his cheek and laughing so freely, with Lif at his other side and giggling with such a carefree tone to her.
He was a blushing mess, hoping to God neither of his friends notice as he spewed complaint after complaint, body betraying him by simply melting into the traitorously warm embrace anyways.
"Oh God, help meeee." Dee finally slumped after a moment, getting the two laugh even more at his misery. "Ain't nobody comin' to save you DeeDee! You're stuck with us!" Eden gleefully cheered, Lif nodding enthusiastically.
Dee huffed, and to anyone he'd probably look genuinely annoyed, but not to Eden and Lif, all they could see was their friend flustered out of his mind, trying to hide it with the most terrible act of grumpiness imaginable.
"Right. Stuck with a shameless bitch and glowstick whore."
"WOAH HOLD ON FUCKER-"
"PICKNEY IF YA EV'A-"
Dee's scream went completely unheard in the middle of the night.
---
Yes, they made him regret it.
No, I will not tell you how. That's up to your guesses uwu-
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The glow attracts a shit ton of moths and mosquitos, which make a lot of noise, which in turn attract monsters via the power of 'turn down your music I'm tryina stalk the hallways menacingly'.
The fully corrupted could crack their bones like a lil glowstick to boost the light for whatever reason (maybe it makes them a human(?) flashbang), though of course, it hurts like a bitch. Bone heals a bit faster than normal though, so they can casually break both their legs and then start walking around good as new after like two days.
Bonus points if the fully corrupted cant talk well, because whenever they open their mouth they start dribbling glowstick fluid, which makes both a huge mess and the corrupted extremely embarrassed.
Thats a pretty interesting one. Atteact monters so that you can use the person as like bait in a plan. I was thinking something along the lines of being in the light slows you down or gives you energy. I think theres a lot you can do here.
I think something interesting could also be using it as a tracking mechanism? Getting the Glow Juice (infected blood?) and getting that on a monsters feet can result in tracks around the area temporarily. But that would be a side power to its main one.
While a glowstick monster sounds silly i do think it could be fucking creepy as shit. Idk why but someone breaking their own bones has always been especially creepy to me (hence why i gave akechi bone swords). I can see this thing breaking its arms, and its jaw just to be in full glow. Creepy shit.
Maybe both versions of this person (corrupted and non corrupted) blend into darkness VERY well when not showing off their glow, so its not until they do their thing that you can see them
#ask#prom is talking#funny that you bring up human flashbang tho#i didnt want to make that the power because thats what iree (my oc)'s power is#also glow stick isnt like...a Bright light yeah? its neon but its also more toned down in a sense
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i am ready
already starting out with a bop
yo this is great
also im tapping my foot as a stim bc these are good
facetime with my mom tonight reminds me of like.....pop videos....like pop music videos, im saying it reminds me of “what do you mean” by justin bieber, as it was also shot in a single room
ah yes the butterfly effect
hello socko
socko be spittin’ facts
aw :( poor socko
NSID
if only the companies during pride month said the same lol (some are legit)
“against racism in theory” uh-
yo butterfingers are kinda nasty (to me)
an avocado
A WHITE WOMANS INSTAGRAM OH MY GOD
damn it got real, you good white woman’s instagram owner
a dreamcatcher bought from urban outfitters oml
some ppl can shut the fuck up lol...i cant, i choose not to
for an hour, hell yes
also this lighting is very nice
yo what the fu-
*cries in inception*
him reacting to him reacting (and on and on) glass after glass, i honestly really like how he portrayed that. that’s kinda how it feels when i go on a tangent, and have to pick up the pieces of my original thought, especially if i’ve lost my train of thought.
IVE HEARD TIKTOK AUDIO OF BEZOS AND I OH MY GOD
ITS SO GOOD
this is going on repeat, and i love the meaning
the scream is really good too
im....horny honestly same
you send me a peach....ill send a carrot back...cool cool
we love asking for consent (as should everyone)
sit why do you have a knife
the sexting song reminds me of “orange juice” by melanie martinez
sir why do you have a knife-
*disassociates*
“well well, look who’s inside again, went out to look for a reason to hide again”
i didnt need to be called out
ah yes a wet hair segment
this is so 80s, giving me “holding out for a hero” we love it
bitch im trying to listen, shit ive been complicit, my brain
age is a very scary thing. i feel like a lot of people start throwing others away once they’ve reached a certain age and that isn’t really okay. people should be able to enjoy what they want to enjoy at any age (within reason, of course). the venom that some people face is so....gross. just because they’re in their 30s and enjoy reading fanfics, or making them like??? they arent hurting anyone, mind your fucking business. im honestly happy that a lot of my pals are older on here. i may not know what the fuck they’re talking about sometimes, but there’s still a lot of shared experiences, and things like that.
im absolutely terrified of getting older. i know and understand that i’m young, i’m literally 15 years old, what do i need to be scared of.....a lot. i just dont have a good relationship with death, and sometimes i lie awake at night, thinking about how nothing in life is permanent, besides the life cycle itself. things live, and things die. and i know it happens, i’ve just yet to accept it.
for so long, i’ve wanted to “be a big kid” and do all these different things, but i just...dont know. i feel like my brain is older than my body. and my thoughts, and things i like. it’s really weird. i’ve been told that im “mature for my age” and all that, which i see as a compliment, rather than someone trying to be a predator. which is understandable in both aspects. but i sometimes wonder if i wasnt...me...y’know. if i wasnt mature for my age, and looked a bit younger. (i look young in general, but eh, you get it) i look tired sometimes, (its because i probably am) but it’s odd. anyways, back to me reacting.
turning 30 is a bop
hes not out of touch, it’s honestly fine to not be on social media and shit
yeah, i already disassociate enough, it happens mostly when im listening to music...hmm
2030 i’ll be 40 and kill myself then.......yeah
ME EXPLAINING WHY I SAY WHAT I SAY SO PEOPLE DONT WORRY
dear lord, yeah its too real
i know i dont want to, but i really just....want things to stop sometimes. so i can breathe, and gather my bearings and get through it. things get a lot and i just need a break.
YO WHY DO I RELATE DEAR LORD
i really need help jesus christ
thank you for cleaning me mr burnham
yes i like the show, im not tired of it, its just fine :)
yo he put a whole game in this shit, hell yeah
yeah i want out of the house, but like......AUGH no
why tf is this so accurate
wake up at literally 4 in the afternoon, feeling like a bag of shit (oh no)
if i mentally feel like shit, i cant sleep it off lol, my dreams exhaust me at that point
“could i interest you in everything all of the time” me listening to tunes
THATS WHERE THE MANIACAL LAUGHING SOUND IS FROM AND IT CUTS OFF I DIDNT KNOW THIS INFORMATION
love ur forehead glowstick dude
i like the idea of it being like...contained, but im sure that im losing it because i havent been like...NEAR OTHER PEOPLE. the pandemmie has NOT been great. anyway.
total disassociation, total out your mind, googling derealization, hating what you find
PLEASE THIS IS TOO ACCURATE
aw :(
its 4 in the morning so my hands are gonna be up, and im just looking at him
this is so beautiful
yo he put a “the living tombstone” on that one
him sitting on the chair reminds me of the one scene in “kill your darlings” where the main character has diarrhea, and they’re sitting on a chair bare ass naked (so they dont have to take the pants off, yada yada) while also writing on a typewriter.
yo this was great
okay i admit that i was mad sad earlier, but like....im fine now. and especially not now. i’ve been told not to watch inside when not in a good mental state, and i get it. im fine now, but that was good. i honestly laughed more than anything. i dont feel like crying. it represented a lot of my thoughts and feelings well. i like it.
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