#but I just want to enjoy things without feeling bad about it why is that so HARD

[chrzzboo]

(Un)forgettable Birthday

Summary: You've never been a fan of your own birthday but that changes thanks to a certain F1 driver.

Reader x Lando Norris

Genre: fluff

Note: I'm back from the death 🤪 I know it's been a while and i deeply apologize for it 🙏 but school has been a mess with deadlines everywhere. to make it up to y'all I'm back with a new fic. Enjoy!

Loud music drilling into my eardrums, colorfull lights decorating the place and people’s chatter filling the room. I’m currently at my close friend’s Kika’s birthday party, accompanied by my boyfriend Lando. Speaking of him I don’t know where that guy is but he’s probably doing Lando things somewhere so I couldn’t care less. Right now I’m talking with a few of my friends and the birthday girl herself.

“Wauw Kika you planned this party so well!” “Yes, honestly one of the best ones I’ve been to in a while!” Was heard from Carmen and her sister. Kika smiled “I know right! All thanks to Pierre he helped me plan most of it!” I smiled seeing her happy. “You’re very lucky Kika!”

We continued chatting spilling the tea that we hadn’t told each other yet and were just joking around as well.

I was feeling so comfortable until the topic of birthdays came to light again.

“Y/n your birthday is in a couple of days, what are the plans?” I started moving around a bit uncomfortably on my feet before replying. “Euhm I don’t know birthdays aren’t really my thing.” All the girls looked at me with frowns on their faces. “What do you mean? Celebrating your birthday is one of the most important things in your life!”. I looked at her not very convinced. “I mean it’s just like any other day it’s not like I’ve ever celebrated it. It’s just a normal day for me tbh.” The girls looked at me with a sad smile before Carmen broke the silence. “At the end of the day it’s your birthday so it’s up to you what you do.” I smiled at her thanking her for understanding me.

I quickly changed the subject because it was making me kinda uncomfortable since I don’t like it when other people feel bad for me. So we carried on talking and without noticing that Lando had heard everything despite the loud music.

~~~

Later that night Lando had found his way back to me and we were currently enjoying each others company. Lando had his arms wrapped around my waist from the back while I rested my head on his chest enjoying the vibe around me. Lando kept thinking back about your words from earlier it all makes sense now. Because every single time he had asked you what you wanted to do for your birthday you declined it stating that you were too busy with work. He shook of those thoughts and decided to bring it up again.

“Are you enjoying yourself love?” I looked at him smiling. “Very much!” Lando hums meanwhile trying to figure out how to ask you about your birthday.

“Babe question but don’t get angry please”. I look at him confused “Baby what did you do?” Now fully turning to face him. He pulls me closer and holds me tighter.

“Nothing nothing don’t worry about it! But first promise!” I roll my eyes at him. “Alright I promise!” “Babe say: I promise I won’t get mad at you!” I looked at him annoyed “Lando!” “Alright alright” he took a hold of my hands and started speaking again. “What do you want for your birthday?” I sigh looking at him. “I told you already my birthday is just like any other day so I don’t need anything.”

Well that’s kinda a lie the only truth is that I don’t need a gift from him since I don’t like him spending money on me. But to be honest I’ve never had a birthday party or anyone caring about it. When I was younger my parents didn’t pay attention to me at all so why would they even bother giving me a nice birthday. At uni people only congratulated me with their words nothing much and the same goes to my work colleagues. So that’s why I always told people I didn’t like my birthday simply because I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve never had the birthday experience everyone else had before.

“Babe I don’t know who put those words in your head but you’re important and so is your birthday! I mean we’ve got to celebrate the day that my amazing sexy gorgeous girlfriend was born.” I laughed at his words “I appreciate that love but there’s more to that than a simple birthday party.”

Lando looked at me confused before I decided to tell him the truth. He looked at me with wide eyes. He knew that my bond with my parents wasn’t the best but forgetting about their child’s birthday was something he didn't understand.

“Anyways we’re at a party we have to enjoy our selfs and not mop around.” Before he could reply to me I was swept away by one of my friends to go and get some drinks.

Lando kept staring at me watching me disappear in the crowd. “Yo bro what are you doing here all alone? People are gonna think you’re a weirdo or sum staring at everyone like that.” Was heard from his bestfriend max.

Lando stared at max for a few seconds before getting an idea. “I want to throw a surprise birthday party for y/n” Max looked at him confused. “Birthday party? Doesn’t y/n hate them?” “Well yeah but there was a reason for that and all I know is that we can heal her inner child with throwing a birthday party for her. So are you gonna help me?”

Max looked at him surprised, he knew that you two had an amazing relationship but he didn’t expect Lando to do this much for you.

“Alright bro I will but stop staring at me with that creepy smile as if you sitting here alone wasn’t already creepy enough.”

~~~

The following days Lando kept himself busy with all the arrangements for your birthday. Even though he was busy with his work he always found a gap to fix stuff for your birthday surprise.

Currently he was at home on the phone with Max deciding the last few things to finish off the secret birthday party.

“Alright so you have the invitations ready right?” Lando asked his best friend. “Of course all we have to do is sent them out without y/n noticing.” Lando hums “Yeah exactly we have to be extremely careful because y/n always finds out about the smallest things.”

He laughs remembering one time he had planned a surprise date but it was all ruined because you had figured it out, all because you heard him make a reservation on the phone for a restaurant.

“Alright Max send me the invites and I will send them out.” “What invites?” Lando looked at you nervously. “Euhm Max I will call you back.”

Without letting him reply Lando hung up the phone. “Oh baby you’re back early?” You looked at him confused “what do you mean ? I always come back around this time?” Lando gulped hoping you didn’t hear the entire conversation. “But answer me Lando what invites were you talking about.” Lando looks around trying to find an excuse. “Euhm a friend of Max needed invitations and he asked me where I had gotten mine done from my party last year.”

You look at him not very convinced but decided to let it slide. “Okey… anyways let’s go eat I’m starving.” Lando sighs in relief happy that you fell for his lie. “Alright baby you go first I will come right after.”

Later that night laying in bed Lando was occupied by his phone. “Babe can you put that phone down for a second and give me attention please.”

Lando looked at me for a second and quickly turned back to his phone. “One second babe this is important” “But that’s what you’ve been saying all day long.” Without sparing a glance at me Lando replied with a quick “Please baby I will give you all my attention after this.”

Suddenly his phone starts ringing and he goes out of the room to take it but not without quickly kissing my forehead. I huff and turn to the other side to sleep.

The next day when I woke up Lando was nowhere to be seen, so I figured that he went to the gym.

Getting up I went to wash up and get ready for the day. While I was getting ready I got a sudden thought. It’s kinda weird how Lando went from bugging me about my birthday to radio silence in a few days. I brushed it off figuring it was probably because he’s so occupied with racing and all.

Going into the kitchen to make some breakfast for myself, the calendar on the board in kitchen caught my eye. Checking the date I got a little sad knowing that it’s my birthday tomorrow.

“Honestly I would sell my kidney to be able to skip tomorrow.” (Dramatic much innit) Sighing I go back to what I was doing.

The next day I woke up without Lando next to me again. I hoped that he would’ve stayed a bit longer in bed to wish me at least a happy birthday.

“Maybe he left a message or something.” I grab my phone but I see nothing. Only a few congratulations from my co-workers and friends but that’s it. Not even from my own boyfriend.

I’m used to be disappointed on my birthday but even then when my boyfriend would congratulate me it would make me a bit less sad but I guess today is going to be full of disappointment. I got out of bed to get ready for the day.

While I was making breakfast I got a text from Kika.

I smile at her message. At first I wanted to decline her offer but then I thought about the fact that my own boyfriend didn’t do shit for my birthday so why not.

“This is the least I could do to get that birthday feeling I guess.” Sighing to myself I reply to her and started to get ready.

~~~

“There she is the beautiful birthday girl.” Kika immediately engulfs me in a hug followed by the rest of the girls.

“Hey why do you look so sad girly cheer up it’s your birthday!” I looked at here with a forced smile deciding not to tell her the truth about Lando and all that.

“Nothing nothing let’s go bestie your wallet needs to spent some money on me.” I smirk winking at her. She gives me a fake angry huff but it's quickly replaced with a laugh since she can’t stay serious for a moment. “Alright girly let’s go!”

~~~

I was having an amazing time but I kept checking my phone with hopes for a message from my boyfriend. But every time I was met with disappointment. I didn’t want the girls to question it so I put on a fake smile and carried on with the lunch date.

“Alright girls it was a nice lunch but I have to go.” “NO!” Kika yelled panicked making me confused.

“Euhm you can’t leave yet we have to get you a cake first girly.” She looked quite nervous.

“You know that you don’t have to right.” I looked at her with suspicion. “Euhm.. I know but we wanted to so let’s go!”

And with that I was pulled into Kika’s car heading to what I assumed was a bakery.

“Francesca we’ve been driving for a while now how far is this bakery actually?”

I stared to get annoyed because we had been on the road for half an hour now and the rest of the girls that were with us during lunch also disappeared but I was too annoyed to even ask about them.

“We’re here girl calm your tits yeah.” I stepped out of the car but I was met with a big building. Looking at Kika confused I decided to ask her about this.

“Girl I ain’t no baker or anything but this is for sure no bakery.” She looked at me sheepishly. “Doesn’t matter girl let’s go in.”

Before I could even reply she dragged me in. The place was dark but I could tell that it was big.

“Kika what in the world is this?” Without saying anything to me she pushed me forward. And before I could question her even more the lights suddenly turned on.

“SURPRISE!!!”

I was shocked I stood there frozen trying to process everything. Everyone that I knew was there: my friends, family, colleagues and most importantly my boyfriend.

I was pulled out of my shocked state by Lando pulling me into him. “Happy birthday beautiful you deserve all of this.” I couldn't contain my emotions and soon the tears started pouring down my face.

“You did all of this?” I looked at him still shocked. He smiled and wiped my tears away.

“Of course baby like I said before you deserve it.” “I thought you forgot.” I tell him with new tears pooling in my eyes.

“I could never baby I’ve been planning this all week long, I told you we had to celebrate the day my sexy and gorgeous girl was born.”

I smile at him slightly pushing his shoulder laughing at his words. I pull him by his collar and connect our lips together.

“Thank you so much Lan this means the world to me.” Before he could reply Kika came in between us.

“Girl c'mon we have to celebrate properly you can eat each other’s faces later.” She winks. “C’mon beautiful let’s enjoy this day.” I smile taking his hand. For the first time in my life I enjoyed my own birthday.

~~~

I had a blast we danced, sang, drank and I even got presents! This day was simply amazing but also a bit overwhelming so I went to get some fresh air outside.

“Here you’re birthday girl, I was looking for you beautiful. What are you doing here alone?”

I smile a the voice of my boyfriend. “I wanted a bit of fresh air it was all a bit too overwhelming.”

He smiled sitting down next me. He put his arm around me and pulled me closer to his chest.

“I understand pretty girl, but you deserve all of this you know?.” He said kissing the top of my head. “It’s just nice to finally have a real birthday. Thank you so much baby.” “Of course beautiful today is all about you and I just wanted to show you that you also matter.”

I smile looking up at him. “Thank you handsome for making this an unforgettable birthday. I love you.” He smiles grabbing my face with both of his hands and joining our lips together. “I love you too baby.”

He gives me one more kiss before standing up. “Let’s go back inside pretty girl, and enjoy the rest of your special day.” He holds his hand out for me to take. With our fingers laced together we head back inside.

It’s safe to say that for the first time in my life my birthday felt like an actual birthday and all it took was an amazing man that drives cars for a living to fulfill my wish.

The end.

#lando norris x reader #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #lando imagine #lando x reader #lando norris #lando fluff #lando norris imagine #lando norris fluff #formula one #lando norris fanfic #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #lando fanfic #lando f1 #f1 fluff #f1 fic #Spotify

[mammonsrockstargf]

Solomon has a bad leg. At first, he didn't really notice it, or maybe he just assumed that he pulled a muscle or something. Whenever he's been sitting down for a while and he has to get up, he feels a slight pull in his right leg. When he has to bend down to grab the thing he dropped or get on his knees to collect a certain root, a small, sharp pain shoots up through his leg.

Solomon has lived a long time. He's experienced a lot of pain, but it's always gone away eventually. Sometimes he needed a healing spell, or he would borrow a little power from one of his pacts to heal it. But this stupid pain in his leg won't go away, no matter what he does. He's tried every single healing method he remembers, and it just won't stop. 

He feels silly. He feels helpless. He wonders if the years have finally caught up to him. 

He wonders if all the times you teasingly called him an old man were just a secret ploy to curse him. Because he certainly feels like an old man now. 

He's good at hiding his pain. Expertly, in fact. So it takes a while for you to notice. But you do, and when you do, you get really upset. 

"You’ve been hiding this from me? Why didn't you tell me?" you ask, and Solomon sighs and grips his leg. It's so stiff that he has a hard time walking around on it. Usually, it isn't all that bad, but he was in the human world the other day, and the temperatures were unusually cold, and now his leg is acting up, and wow the world really isn’t on his side these days.

"I didn't want you to worry," is all he responds, and you cross your arms, staring furiously at him, trying to control your temper. 

"I want to worry about you. I want to know if you're hurting!" you say, and Solomon feels a flash of annoyance. Not with you, but with himself. For making you worry and for making you upset. 

You go to him and cup his face, worry etched into your face from the way your eyebrows furrow to the way your lips purse. "Let me in," you ask, and Solomon feels his heart swell with sorrow. You give so easily, you open so easily, you never ever blame him for anything. So why can't he do this one thing for you? 

"I've been alone for so long," he says, and you nod, bringing him closer to you. Your foreheads touch, your noses brush against each other, and he closes his eyes, surrendering himself to your care. 

After that, whenever his leg acts up, you hand him an ibuprofen. The first time you do, Solomon feels very silly. All this wisdom, and it never once occurred to him to take a pill. What's even worse is that the pill works. His leg begins to feel better.

It still acts up sometimes, but you recognise the signs by now and hand him the pill each time without a single word. 

And he no longer feels silly. He just feels very loved.

a/n: i'm working on a longer fic, and i wanted to post a lil something, so here's a quick little thought i had. hope you enjoyed it, thank you for reading, mwah mwah mwah <- free kisses for anyone who wants one.

read more here. >:D

divider by @/cafekitsune.

#ficlets #solomon #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me solomon #obey me x reader #obey me solomon x reader #obey me headcanon #obey me swd #obey me fluff #obey me drabble #obey me x mc #obey me x you #obey me solomon x mc #obey me solomon x you #obey me solomon headcanon

[junislqve]

ᯓ seasons — ot7

syn i used to hate it, until i found out it was your favorite thing. (1504 words)

pairs ot7 + reader | cw petnames — mlist navi

note synopsis was actually more of a prompt but err i hope you guys enjoy anyway >< also im writing this half asleep so im sorry if there are any mistakes !! everybody thank peng cause without her this wouldn’t even be here rn

LEE HEESEUNG

“why don’t you warm me up?”

heeseung never liked winter. he hated the coldness and the gloom that came with it. ever since he was young, he’d stay cooped up in his room refusing to go out and play with the snow.

even as an adult, heeseung would be more silent during the season, chattering his teeth even though he wore about a dozen coats.

well that was until he knew you. you were the complete opposite. you loved the coldness and the festive feeling of winter. finding the beauty in the falling snowflakes.

ever since heeseung started dating you, your love for winter created a small fondness in him. he loves it when he gets to see your pretty smile and your nose red-tinted from the cold.

he loves it most when you both would take the train back after a day out and you would fall asleep on his shoulder, hands tucked on his to keep yourself warm.

PARK JONGSEONG

jay had never really been picky with anything. having being the cook back at home and even now cooking for you made him accustom to people’s likes.

one thing, however, that never had he enjoyed was caffeine. he hated the bitter aftertaste of it. the smell that always lingers.

but when you once bought him an americano back when you both were still friends, he downed the whole thing. making you laugh, he liked hearing your laugh, it was addicting. he saw how you were savoring the taste after every sip. thinking that if you liked it, it shouldn’t be that bad.

and now, every morning before you woke up, he’d add coffee-brewing to his routine. making both of you coffee before heading for work. but really, he just loved seeing you hum in delight after a sip, a small smile on your lips.

“you’re so good at this, babe” you say, complimenting his brewing skill.

“why don’t you give me a kiss for it then”

SIM JAEYUN

you loved musicals. from hamilton to phantom of the opera, you’ve always loved watching them if they played in theaters near you.

jake, however, would rather spend his time playing soccer or watching a movie at the comfort of his home. he didn’t find musicals interesting, refusing whenever his friends offered to go watch one together.

however, when you offered, he found himself sitting near front seats in a large theatre. completely invested in the story line. he took down internal notes in his head knowing you’d start talking about it the moment you both walked out the theatre, just so he could give his own perspective in case you asked.

he would listen to you talk all day if it meant having to watch musicals often. asking you to repeat things to see your smile grow. his eyes linger on you, observing the pretty smile you have and the excited glint in your eyes as you talked away.

“wait, can you explain again about what happened to her in the end?”

PARK SUNGHOON

possibly the biggest hater of mint chocolate chip ice cream, sunghoon would not get near it. if he had a choice, he’d rather choose something more simple like vanilla.

but all in all, sunghoon never really liked ice cream. he doesn’t understand the enjoyment people get whenever they’d crave it.

apparently all it took for him to finally try the flavor he most despised was for you to (barely) beg him to hang out with you. he was too flustered when you asked him what flavor he wanted and when you asked if he wanted the same order as you did, he just nodded. barely registering what you said.

he unfortunately did not realize this until he scooped up a spoonful of the ice cream and tasted the familiar, yet, unfavorable taste. however, after much thought and probably the sweet smile you were giving him, he concluded that it didn’t taste as bad as he thought it would.

after dating, sunghoon would often pick up ice cream for you two after a long week, eating it together while huddled up watching a movie in your living room.

the taste of it was always there, but he understood why you adored the flavor. it growing on him more than he’d expected, especially when you’re the one he’s eating it with.

KIM SUNOO

being alone creeps him out. he gets terrified if he was ever left home alone. that’s one of the reasons why he loved going out.

he finds it comforting being surrounded by people, chatting along with anyone and everyone, catching up with them.

before you were in his life, he felt like being alone further makes him feel unwanted. busying himself with anything if, in a case, he were to be left alone.

when you did come into his life, though, it was like you rearranged the meaning of being alone. you love the peace and quiet of being alone. the silence that seems to fill the room letting you breath for a moment.

technically, he still didn’t really like being alone. sometimes, he’d call you to his apartment to ‘be alone’ with you. none of you speaking any words to each other, just laying down and listening to each other’s breathing. so many words unsaid but the feelings able to be conveyed through gestures.

you’d taught him how to enjoy the quietness. he finds that when he’s alone he felt more calm and centered. still, as a person who loves talking, he would always prefer being with people.

but, you redefined the meaning of being alone and he loves you for it. he loves the way you look happy and at peace all the time, he loves it when you both be alone together.

YANG JUNGWON

“babe, can you get my socks pretty please?”

as a person who gets cold easily, you love bundling yourself up before sleeping. your necessities were your 2 blankets, a pillow for your side and socks.

jungwon always found it iffy to wear socks in bed. even if he were to buy new ones to wear only in his house, he still wouldn’t like the feeling of it.

that was until he was introduced to you by a mutual friend. when you two started talking, he found your many quirks adorable.

however, one that he only found out when you started dating, was that you loved wearing socks to sleep. his horror back then showed on his face when you asked him if he were okay.

overtime, you gradually convinced him. especially if it was winter and the coldness would go up by twice the usual weather. being used to your routine, he didn’t even realize he started wearing socks to bed until you pointed it out when he was sleeping over.

the realization he had was baffling, but as he accustomed to it he didn’t find it weird at all. he would start buying you both matching socks when he was out and was thinking of you.

NISHIMURA RIKI

“let’s get back to bed, love”

everyone knows riki is not a morning person. he hated waking up early more than anyone. it’s not weird to find him coming out of his room at 1 pm.

by 1pm, you’ve probably already went to a cafe, had breakfast, catches up with a friend, and had a 2-hour lecture.

when you got involved with riki, you tried your hardest to wake him up early. his friends had told you to give up many times saying they’ve tried over and over again.

but miraculously, on your 7th try, he woke up. although, grumbling, he started sitting up and asking what you were doing at his dorms.

the first time you tried you were just there to drop off some food to your big brother. but when you knocked and no one answered, you were about to leave. until one of his dorm mates opened the door to let you in.

they were all stood crowded in front of his room, shouting at him to wake up, but he never moved. still sound asleep after a whole debate session ensued in the dorms.

after your brother and his friends collectively decide to leave him alone instead of trying to wake him up, you put it upon yourself to try as well. little did you know, he’d heard all your wake up calls, just too afraid to face you, seeing his bedhead and all.

7th times the charm however, when he finally braved himself to wake up and reply to you, although his heart pounding abnormally when you smiled at him.

when you two started dating, he couldn’t not wake up before you. much more aware of his surroundings when he’s around you.

riki however is riki. if he were to wake up earlier, then you would also have to wake up later sometimes because of him. deciding to stay in for a bit longer when he asks to, surrounded by his warmth.

© junislqve 2024. liking, commenting, and rebloging are appreciated.

#── 🐚 junisfics ᝰ.ᐟ #© junislqve 2024 #enhypen smau #enhypen texts #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen x reader #enhypen smut #lee heeseung x you #lee heeseung x reader #park jay x you #park jongseong x reader #park jay x reader #sim jaeyun x you #sim jaeyun x reader #sim jake x reader #park sunghoon x you #park sunghoon x reader #kim sunoo x reader #kim sunoo x you #yang jungwon x reader #yang jungwon x you #yang jungwon x y/n #riki nishimura x reader #riki x reader #riki x you #niki x reader #niki x you #niki x y/n

[raineandsky]

Hiiiii, love ur writing!!! May I request a story about the strong and undefeatable villain getting some head injury (maybe concussion) during the battle with some third party, and after that peacefully resting on a bench in alley, but then hero finds him and decides to help, even though these two don't like each other. Pretty please 🐹☘️💗

your please was so pretty i couldnt not write this! i really enjoyed this one, i hope you do too :D

Part of the hero’s job is helping those in need. Stopping when they cross someone lying on a park bench, in the dingiest, darkest part of the park, just feels normal to them in the moment.

That is until they notice who it is.

“[Villain]?” The hero can’t think of anything else to say. Their hands are already halfway to the cuffs in their pocket. “What’re you doing out here?”

This is the part where the villain leaps up with a laugh about how the hero’s fallen into a trap, leaping into a monologue before the inevitable battle.

But instead the villain opens his eyes to glance at them, his gaze not fully focusing on them, and simply says “‘m tired.”

The hero crouches down to his level. It’s clear he has no intention of getting up. They open their mouth to say something curt, distrusting, but they stop themself short.

They’ve noticed the blood painting the other side of the villain's face, dried into his hair and on his skin. Panic flutters in the hero’s gut. How bad is it? What happened? Their training only covered the basics of first aid. This wasn’t part of it.

He looks so small like this. The hero had always thought of the villain as indestructible, perfect in every evil way. But this—he’s defeatable, he’s normal, he’s human. Just like the rest of them.

They carefully push the villain over, earning a disgruntled “eugh” that they ignore to brush his hair away and take in the damage.

“Are yo’ shoes clean?” he says shortly as the hero grapples with a tissue from their pocket. “I think… I’m gonna throw up.”

“Please don’t.” They carefully take their tissue to the villain’s head, which he tries to cringe away from. “Can you tell me what happened?”

“Wha’?”

“What happened to you, [Villain]?”

The villain’s eyes train on the hero's idly, unseeingly. “There’s stars on your face.”

“Okay. Okay.” Blood has turned the tissue into a crime scene, but it’s making little difference to the state of the villain. “We need to get you some help.”

It barely even occurs to the hero to do otherwise. A hero isn’t a hero without the soul to do the hardest parts of kindness, they know. To show mercy to those who might not deserve it. To help those who likely don’t want it. To show the villain compassion they know they’ll never get back.

The hero pulls the villain upright, with absolutely no help from the villain. They get him sitting up and he almost keels straight back over the moment they let go.

They settle on the bench next to him, careful to hold him up. “How’re you feeling, [Villain]?”

“I hav’ the… worst headache.” It comes out disjointed, like he’s piecing the sentence together as he says it. The hero pulls his arm over their shoulder. “Wha’s going on?”

“We’re going to the hospital.” The villain barely reacts to this, when before the hero probably would’ve had to drag him there kicking and screaming before. “We’re going to stand up, okay?”

“‘Kay.”

The villain sways on his feet as the hero pulls him up, a slight stagger almost taking them both down. “Oup,” he says with a short breath of a laugh.

“Okay,” the hero says again, more to themself than to the villain. “Let’s get you fixed.”

The hero walks the villain all the way to the hospital, the journey slow and full of close encounters with the pavement, and makes themself at home in his hospital room.

The villain would never do the same for the hero. They’re a villain. Obviously. That’s why the hero is the good guy. They'd expect nothing less.

But when the villain wakes up properly, coherent and all-there, the first thing out of their mouth is an absolutely seething, entirely genuine “thank you.”

#creative writing #writblr #writers on tumblr #writing #writing community #heroes and villains #hero x villain #LAST DAY AT WORK TOMORROW BITCHESSSSS #i am So Excited to leave it has been a tar pit ever since i handed my notice in #fukn BYE

[imagine-a-life-like-this]

Accidentally In Enemies : Epilogue (S.CB)

Word Count : 1.4k

Warnings : swearing probably, accidental bullying, minor argument, obsession kinda, honestly pretty fluffy with minor angst

A/N : It's finally out! Now that I have completed this story, keep your eyes peeled for Minho's! I hope you enjoy the last installment of Changbin's love story!

          Watching her angrily get out of the car and walk towards the house brought back memories of their school days. He couldn’t help the small smile that made its way onto his face as he thought of how they ended up here like this. “Oh now you’re smiling? You’re insufferable, Seo Changbin.”

            “You’re insufferable, Seo Changbin.” She spat at him, holding back her tears. There were so many things he wanted to say, but his mouth couldn’t form any words. They died at the tip of his tongue. Every time he opened his mouth to say something, only silence followed. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

            “I don’t want to.” He spat out, earning another glare from her. To her it seemed like he enjoyed making her life miserable. As if he was only alive to torment her, tease her. Like he enjoyed seeing her barely holding on, barely blinking her tears back.

            But that’s not what he meant. He never meant to make her life a living hell. He never meant to be a pain to her. She intrigues him, draws him in unlike anyone else he’s ever met before. Some would say it was just that: intrigue, interest, curiosity even. Just wanting to know her, learn about her.

            Changbin knew it was more than that though. From the second their eyes met while he was practically dancing on her diorama, he knew. Love at first sight seemed so childish, so surface level, so elementary. Calling it that didn’t seem to capture exactly what he felt for her. He’s still unsure how exactly to put into words what he feels for her, what he feels when he looks at her.

            He didn’t want to leave her alone because he couldn’t. It was as if she was a siren, beckoning him out to sea with her song. And even if at the end was death, he would follow the sound. He would allow her to drown him at sea if it meant hers would be the last face he’d see.

            It had to be more than love. He felt it in his heart. Looking at her brought him calm. She felt like home in a person. He would fight a thousand wars and more for her. Just for a moment of her time. It had to be more than love.

            He’s read about love in books. Watched movies about love. Seen love with his own eyes between his parents. This wasn’t fireworks and butterflies. It wasn’t once upon a time and happily ever after. This was something better. Bigger. Stronger.

            Yet he couldn’t put it into words. His mind goes blank around her and he says the wrong thing. Even now, he couldn’t even muster up an apology after ruining her laptop. Spilling a drink on it while trying to give it to her after seeing her study for hours without a break. “You’re my bad luck charm.” She mumbled to herself, trying to clean up his mess. And still he couldn’t even mutter the word sorry.

            She takes a couple steps closer to him. He can smell her perfume; it’s the one her bought for her birthday only a few months ago. The one she said was going to be her special occasion perfume, so she’ll have a scent to remind her of all the special memories they’d make together.

            Today is their first anniversary as a couple. He told her he had a special date planned for her. She got all dressed up, wearing a dress he bought her as a surprise gift, just because. It fit her like a glove, as if it was made with her in mind. Like the designer saw her and made the dress just for her to wear.

            In her mind, Changbin forgot, lied even. He’s just the same Changbin he’s always been. Living to torment her, watch her fall apart. “Does my pain bring you joy?”

            “Does my pain bring you joy?” She looked up at him, surrounded by her belongings, scattered on the floor. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out, seemingly confirming her thoughts. He moved to help gather her things, accidentally kicking something further away. “I don’t know what I did to you, but please stop. I’m begging you.”

            He turned to look at her, seeing that she was still looking at him, tears slowly sliding down her cheeks. His eyes widened in realization, thinking back on all the times he’s accidentally hurt her. She’s never cried so openly like this. Not in front of him, not like this.

            He wanted to wipe her tears away. Explain everything to her. He wanted to bare his entire heart to her. Let her know that his entire existence is made for loving her. That the only thing he really knows how to do is love her.

            But he could see in the lifeless stare she gave him that she didn’t want to see him. So without a word, he walked away. No explanations, no heartfelt confession. He walked away with his hands in his pockets and his heart on his sleeve.

            He would look back for only a second, seeing a man taking his place, helping her gather her things together, and help her to her feet. A man he’s seen her with many times, a friend of hers. A friend that looks at her the same way he does, but he seems to get his words right. “Treat her well, Choi San.”

            She doesn’t know that this was all part of his plan. “No.” He answers simply. “Never has.” He reached out to wipe away her tears, the way he should have the day he accidentally tripped her. “Tomorrow, I promise I will make everything up to you.”

            She’s putty in his hands. Melting at the same touch that she used to flinch away from. Her anger melted away too as Changbin press a short kiss to her lips, asking her to give him a small smile. “I hate you.” She smiles.

            “I love you too.” He leads her inside the house they moved into recently. The first thing she sees is a trail of rose petals, and she glances over at Changbin, who was trying his best to hide what he was feeling. But his excitement was written all over his face with a wide smile and a starry look in his eyes. He told her to follow it, lightly pushing her forwards, while he walked behind her.

            The walls were adorned with lights and pictures of the two of them throughout the year they’ve been together. From their first date to the day he officially asked her to be his girlfriend to the day they moved into the house. She was quite literally walking down memory lane, taking in every small detail.

            Memory lane lead her into their backyard where there, in the middle, sat a floral arrangement that said turn around.

            Changbin was kneeling on one knee with an open box, her dream ring inside. “I’ve known since the moment I met you that this was more than love. And it’s taken me years to find the right words to describe exactly what I feel for you. I adore you. I cherish you. You complete me. You’re my soulmate and I want to spend the rest of my life adoring you and cherishing you if you’d let me. So Y/n, my greatest love, will you marry me?”

            She, in all her years, had never felt so much love. All her years loving San felt like nothing compared to this. To love San she made an effort. She held on as tight as she could, even when it hurt her, because she thought that’s what love was. Even when she knew San was slipping away, she held on tighter. She forced herself to love San.            

But loving Changbin, being with him, it was effortless. She didn’t have to hold on tightly because she knew he wasn’t going anywhere. It was as if she was born to love Changbin. Like she didn’t know anything else except how to love him. For her, there really was only one answer to this question. It wasn’t yes or no. For her there was only, “Yes.”

back to masterlist

@mxnsxngie @maeleelee @turtledove824 @moon0fthenight @dinossaurz

#stray kids imagine #stray kids x reader #stray kids au #stray kids series #stray kids #skz imagine #skz x reader #skz au #skz series #skz #seo changbin imagine #seo changbin x reader #seo changbin au #seo changbin series #bang chan #lee minho #lee know #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #lee felix #lee yongbok #kim seungmin #yang jeongin

[marshmallowprotection]

I’d actually like to hear your thoughts on that Unknown birthday cg

I actually love the composition of this artwork. It'd be wrong to share it without sharing the other half to it, though. Saeyoung and Saeran are a package deal. But, as it stands, these images stand in contrast to each other for a reason. Saeyoung's at a party that his friends put together for him, and Unknown's at a party Rika made for him. There are undeniable facts about these images.

Unknown's staring into a mirror, his eyes in a trance as he watches his reflection, and to me, it's always read like a dissociative episode. He's spaced out for a reason. He was trained to hate his face because it was his brother's face. He avoids looking into mirrors for a reason... and yet, on his birthday of all days, he's staring into a large mirror at his reflection.

A reflection that's known to spark feelings of contempt, sickness, and anger in his heart.

Why?

Why is looking into a mirror when mirrors are known to make him feel sick? Unknown wouldn't choose to do that on the day that sets him off. He wouldn't! I think, one could argue that maybe he would if he thought it might remind him of why he's upset to begin with. But, he doesn't purposefully go out of his way to trigger himself throughout the game, if it happens, it's far from happening on purpose.

Which is what led me to believe Rika hung the mirror from the wall OR choose that spot purposefully—to hurt Unknown. That much I can say for certain.

Even on his birthday, he's not ALLOWED to forget what she's trained for. He's not allowed to be happy. He's only allowed to think about the brother who STOLE EVERYTHING from him while he rots away with nothing to his name in the walls of a Paradise that will never a sincere Paradise. He has to think about the brother who MADE HIM feel bad. He can't escape it. Rika won't let him escape it because he's a simply a weapon for revenge now, no longer does she see him as a son.

His birthday cake is made of chocolate and his pint of ice cream is chocolate, too. There aren't many things he talks about enjoying in the game, but he does make it clear that he enjoys mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Ray revealed that fact in 2019. I mean, could that be his favorite flavor and not Unknown’s favorite? That's always possible, after all, they're not the same person. But, I have always operated under the suspicion that they share favorite ice cream flavors. They like how it stays on your tongue, cold, sweet, and just a little bit chewy. It's nice on a hot day.

I don't think he's super picky about ice cream since you probably can't go wrong with ice cream in his eyes, but the fact that he's able to establish a favorite kind of ice cream shows me that he does care about what he gets if he's allowed to have a choice. Like, I would love vanilla ice cream if it's offered, but if you had an assortment, I'd want chocolate or mint chocolate chip!

This is a character who has been repeatedly robbed of his autonomy time and time again, both with contempt and with a naive thought to protect them without thinking of his choice, and if he was asked what kind of ice cream he wanted for his birthday here, I think he'd pick his favorite if he could.

He clearly didn't pick here. I mean, you can check out the seasonal chats if you want to for 2020. Unknown tells Yoosung and Zen that he loves ice cream and even if they think he's some kind of program and not a real person, he still wants them to leave out the ice cream because, hey, what kind of person wouldn't want an ice cream if it was offered to them? I don't know people who would turn down the ice cream.

But, again, if you can choose the ice cream you're given, won't you pick your favorite flavor?

If you buy the folders from the market, you'll be treated to Unknown and Seven enjoying each other's ice cream, but while Saeyoung looks content with his ice cream, Unknown isn't enthused by Superman ice cream. My boy isn't picky about ice cream but he probably wouldn't want to consume his twin brother's favorite flavor... especially not at a time wherein anything related to Saeyoung makes him want to gag.

If the only ice cream he had to eat was that of his brother's favorite flavor, I think he'd do it, but I don't think he'd be happy about it in the end. It would take the ice cream experience, but he's not going to say no to something that makes him happy in a world that already has caused him to feel apathetic about most things. Yeah, it might not make him happy to have something that reminds me of his brother, but most things remind him of his brother and it's an inescapable tragedy. 

I don't think I need to talk about the representation of black roses in this game when it comes to this character, either. He is given this particular flower whenever he is in a timeline that doesn't bode well for him. It is a representation of the fact that he no longer has hope for a brighter tomorrow. All he sees on the horizon for his life is death and apathy.

Death can also be transformative, but that is not the reference we are meant to take away when we see it represented like this. GE Saeran's got a black rose around his throat during the RAE when you team up with Rika to turn him into a product of consumption to "survive" in a world that lets Saejoong get away with everything. But, anytime I see those flowers with him, I associate it with a loss of autonomy.

I associate it with Rika's control.

The one thing that's bothered me ever since I've seen the image is that bottle of alcohol sitting in the background. I mean, it doesn't have to be alcohol in that fancy sparkling glass, but there aren't too many drinks that are placed inside of those containers and the more I think about it, the more uncomfortable I become. I try not to think about it, and I often tell myself that the only reason why it's there is because the artist might not have been told about the character's trauma.

After all, if the artist was made aware of this fact, it means the choice was intentional to place the bottle of alcohol within the image. I have no idea if the artist was made aware of that fact. The only reason why I tell myself that the artist might not have known is because Rika was also represented with alcohol in one of her birthday pictures, and she does not consume alcohol frequently or at all, either. 

In fact, Rika canonically scolds Jihyun and Jumin often for their poor drinking habits and reminds them to be responsible. There's a chat in Another Story where Jumin and Jihyun turn silent when you echo the words Rika once told them about alcohol.

The alternative in this situation if we don't believe the artist made a mistake without being aware of the lore is for me to believe that she specifically chose to put alcohol on the table knowing that it would trigger him. 

Because, unfortunately, since the artist made that decision, it leads the player to interpret that she purposefully put that bottle there to hurt him. I recognize that most people aren't going to think that hard about this and for the most part, it might fly over your head without a second thought, but it bothers me. I am a stickler for fine details and if you're a person who loves to speculate and dig into some media for everything you can find, this is one of those things that’ll haunt you. 

At the end of the day, it comes down to how you want to interpret the image, if you want to take it at face value for what it is and recognize that the artist likely didn’t know, that’s okay. If you would prefer to read into it as something that makes your stomach turn into knots knowing that Rika might’ve hit him where it hurts most, that's alright, too. 

I try to suspend my disbelief as much as I possibly can to ignore that bottle, but the bottle is there, and I can’t avoid it no matter how much I want to unsee it.

I have a hard enough time in the fandom when it comes to people representing the twins and alcohol as it is. These two are never going to drink a drop in their life, and if they do—There is a situation where Saeyoung drinks champagne in V Route, but it’s when he’s hit rock bottom and he thinks his brother is dead and it’s been two and a half years since then.

The last time his brother was alive, there was going to be a party. The trauma is going to come back to life as soon as the party is brought up again, and that is the only reason why I think he decided to drink that day. He was at the end of his rope, and he decided he would do the one thing he promised never to do because he thought it would numb his emotions enough to survive the way he saw his wretched mother tried to numb every miserable moment of her existence. 

I don't think he enjoyed it, though. I think he took a sip of it, and then he immediately wanted to throw up. He gets rid of the rest of the tiny glass and he never touches alcohol ever again. 

I've seen far too many people represent these two as characters that will drink without a second thought. There is no mention of their trauma, there is no regard for what they've been through, and there is not a second in the narration that even remotely points to the fact that they have trauma that stems from their mother's alcoholism. 

I can't tell you not to write something you want to write, just as much as someone can't tell me not to write what I want to write, but when you have no regard for this specific trauma, it makes me wonder how much compassion you have for somebody who has the same kind of trauma in real life. 

Because, this may be a huge stretch, I know, but if you can't respect a character who said they don't want to drink anything that contains alcohol and you write them doing it anyway, who’s to say that you’ll respect a real person telling you the same thing? 

Far too many countries have socialized drinking to the point that anybody who doesn't want to drink, regardless of the reason, will be shamed or ostracized for it by others in the room. I can't tell you how many people have tried to tell me to take a small sip of alcohol since becoming an adult, and I’ve refused. It's fine and dandy if that's what you want to do, as long as you're doing it safely!

But, why am I the one who is asked questions for saying no?

I don't shame anybody for enjoying and consuming alcohol, so why is it that I hear, "Well, just take a sip! How can you know if you've never had it? Here, let me shove this in your face and keep pushing you to do something you're clearly not okay with!" I don't want it.

This is also the case for many people my age who aren't interested, because I've heard the same thing from others who have been poked and prodded at like me. None of us owe you an explanation as to why we don't want to consume alcohol for whatever reason. No means no. That should be respected at the end of the day, point blank. 

Saeran hasn't said it as bluntly as Saeyoung, but you should be able to infer quite easily.

#mod kait #ask #mystic messenger #anon #mysme #saeran choi #mysticmessenger #mm #choi saeran #saeyoung choi #unknown #saeran #unknown mystic messenger #unknown mysme #unknown mm #character analysis #tw alcoholism

[chrisbangs]

hello... (and bye ig 👋)

#👋😭 hi... #i haven't come on in about a month and i didn't realize a month passed by like that... i've kinda stopped using any apps on my phone #i barely even talk to my friends anymore lol 😭 #i just saw my follower count this morning and realized i hit 13k and i was like 🥸 huh... #uhhhhhhh 😭 idk i wanted to say thank you i guess 🫂 #i'm done with stayblr and tumblr in general 😭 this much has been obvious for a while now... i tried to fit myself back in during 5star but #i think i realized i've outgrown the vibes here and in online spaces in general... i don't really enjoy it anymore 😭 which is weird cause #i've used tumblr since i was in middle school so 🫡 end of an era some would say... #i think it sucks because i don't have the same feelings about this place or skz or anything in my life right now... i tried to ignore it bu #it's so obvious now that the entirety of december passed without me really talking to a single person / without me using social media / #without me really doing much except for like homework and assignments lmao #i think genuinely i've stopped enjoying everything i used to like and i don't know why 😭 it hit me the other day bc i don't even enjoy #pc collecting anymore which is CRAZY considering how much time and money i've put into that hobby so 👋🥸 who knows what goes on #i haven't consumed any skz content since rockstar dropped 😭 and that also feels weird to me... idk... i would say maybe i'm going through a #depressive episode but i don't really feel how i do then... i think i'm just tired like i always am and that's just how i am now .. i think #i'm just not really interested in things anymore? weird but .. yeah idk😭 if i knew what was wrong i would Fix It sndjdndkd mostly i'm just #sad because i haven't been talking to friends... i keep ignoring everyone and not replying to any texts from anyone because ???? #i tell myself i will do it later but i know i won't ... idk i genuinely don't know why i'm struggling to talk to ppl anymore 😭 i've become #even more of a reclusive hermit than i already was 💀 and the worst part is i feel normal abt it #i don't feel /bad/ i just feel guilty that i'm not replying to ppl bc i don't want to hurt ppls feelings... on my end i feel Normal abt it #like i ??? is it weird that i'm so detached from everything that not even a month ago made me so happy..? that's weird right 😭 like idgi #i don't feel (as) depressed (as i usually do) but clearly ?? smth is wrong ?? like ik i'm not a clingy sentimental person but ? it kinda #makes me sad wondering if i really don't care abt ppl anymore ... but i think 😭 it's also the object permanence issues that come with adhd #not seeing or talking to the ppl i love . not doing my hobbies or seeing the groups i care abt . makes it easy to not care or forget what #they make me feel etc etc ... i get it... but idk 😭 if that's what this is . well wow it sucks ASS.. cause i feel guilty for not feeling #anything at all ... 😭 idk how to explain that HENSKDNISJS anywayyyy 💀 #i came on cause i wanted to say thank you for 13k followers 😭‼️ and that i probably will not be online anymore unless i really want to say #this was a really long winded way to say i feel bad but i'm done with stayblr fr 👋🥸 i tried so hard for the last 2 years to make it feel #like home again but it stopped ages ago so 🥹 that's ok.. i still cherish my memories here 🫂 anyway thanku and sjsjsksksks bye i guess 😭 #who knows maybe i'll enjoy it one day again and come back :') never know what the future holds 🫡

[transmechanicus]

“I’ll be fine i just need to uhhhhhhh idk kill” but like…what if i did haha

#my stuff #dear diary and the several thousand mfs who can see it. Despite arguably good academic performance today feels like a bad day #bc i skipped lab to take a nap #and i feel lonely and incapable of connecting more than superficially with my classmates #like i can talk to them and i do and we get along well but i never…hang out w em #or at least not as much as they seem to without me #it’s not a malicious thing i think a huge part of it is groups of ppl living or working in the same space #and i’m in a different lab building than a lot of ppl #idk…struggling to find anything that sparks joy. unable to see the future with optimism #it’s just day after day of Job where i’ll beat myself up on weekends if i don’t do Even More Work #bc that’s the nature of grad school. always homework or literature review to do like i give a shit abt the latter #i don’t care what other people are doing i don’t wanna obsessively comb through journals to make sure i’m doing Brand New Shit #i want it to stop #i don’t want to read anymore. i don’t wanna have to worry about my job outside of work. #i want to cry and scream and #like i don’t wanna quit after i worked so hard to get here #i don’t wanna wuss out #but i’m always tired. i’m never rested or relaxed or truly enjoying myself #why is this only hard for me…how tf is everyone else able to read and remember and understand this much?? #like yeah maybe i should be on adhd meds but those are fuckin spensive and a pain in the ass to get #i’m tired of being tough #i want to curl into a ball and be told it’s going to be okay and that i can rest and have it not be a lie or a half measure

[seithr]

Randomly remembered the half-reason i call my oc-verse by the name it has while laying in bed. One-half of the reason i still knew, but I had forgotten what had truly, really cemented it jointly until now

(it was a song from my favourite band I haven't listened to in a while.)

(the song fit so well at the time, still does, that i needed to hold onto it for the main protagonists forever, by partially naming their story in reference.)

Does this explanation make any sense? Does anyone know why I'm tearing up remembering this. Aahh

#(I'm emotional because I've been feeling bad about it all lately. enjoying things I make I mean—art or ocs or frivilous things.) #(So remembering that song and when it came out. That I couldn't see them in person. But i held onto it my own way. As something I loved) #(Something I still do love a lot... Parts of me saying no—you don't hate it. No. I'll help you remember more. I'm a little misty about it.) #The song is just The Killers - Run For Cover. I couldn't see them in person all those years ago—family went without me. #All my new oc rework with Zin and Hunter and Caia were like a year old or so. #It's a little silly. But the character Zin's derived from was a lightning mage so I stuck to it—I like monhun's zinogre for what its worth #So there's recurring theme and imagery. Thunder's not lightning but the sound and the feeling after the flash the flame and strike. #There's that meaningful thought—the story is the aftermath of a big tragedy. It matches what I like in monsters and other chars. #And at that time—my favourite band I missed out on puts out a really good song I download everywhere and it goes like: #He motioned me to the sky/ I heard heaven and thunder cry/ Run for cover/ Run while you can baby don't look back/ You gotta run for cover #And it goes on of course. The rest of the song's still really good. There's more that fits but point is; More evocative imagery. #So there. Why my bundle of OCs—Zinadia Hunter and Caia's story—is called Thunder 20XX. minus the 20XX. That's tongue-in-cheek #About some day I'll manage to make something tangeable or broadly shareable with them. I guarentee this century! #Thunder... oh my darling Thunder. Eight years man. More than that if I really want to count pre-rework INTO the complete original work. but #I like that it's definably 8. I like that I remembered I've always loved them a lot. Always been my thing to lean on even by name... #I need to get to sleep. Ive gotten a little more emotional over one song than I'd rather regularly be. Give it a listen maybe? Goodnight #Armour clanking #I need an oc tag #What have you gathered to report to your progenitors?🎶Are your excuses any better than your senator's🎶He held a conference #and his wife was standing by his side🎶He did her dirty but no-one died🎶 #I saw Sonny Liston on the street last-night black-fisted and strong singing🎶Redemption song🎶 #He motioned me to the sky🎶I heard heaven and thunder cry🎶RUN FOR COVER #What are you waiting for—a kiss or an apology?🎶You think by now you'd have an A in toxicology🎶 #It's hard to pack the car when all you do is shame us🎶Even harder when the dirtbag's famous🎶 #I saw my mother on the street last night all pretty and strong singin🎶The road is long🎶 #I said 'Mama I know you tried!'🎶But she fell on her knees and cried🎶RUN FOR COVER #Just run for cover - you've got nothin left to lose...

[machinavocis]

.

#re: previous reblog: this is also why i don't like Anticapitalist Onboarding Rhetoric that borrows the narrative tropes of Grand Conspiracy #sorry but genuine systemic analysis is fundamentally incompatible with the image of a Secret Room full of malicious cackling puppetmasters #like is that not the WHOLE POINT..? that there are conditions under which Bad Things can perpetuate themselves absent Bad Actors..? #(like we could evaporate all Racist People with an anti racism laser tomorrow but b/c of current inequalities in income housing school etc #without actual wealth redistribution that won't actually FIX the inequality because it's entrenched enough to have become self sustaining) #idk maybe it just exists disproportionately where i've been looking but i feel like i'm seeing a huge upswing over this past year #in people who act as if the only two narratives are 'Everything Wrong is Your Own Fault' or 'Someone is Fucking With You on Purpose' #& i've felt like a crazy person for a while shouting about how leaning into the rhetoric & mentality of the second one is NOT HARMLESS #just because you point it at some person/people too powerful for you to really materially do harm to. #(introducing it under those parameters alone doesn't domesticate it! doesn't make it Safe to keep with you in your brain house!) #like i didnt Really Not Enjoy the gleeful countdowns of 'only x hrs of air left in that submarine lol' b/c of my deep love for billionaires #but i was struck by how many selfdescribed leftists really do seem to want to act as the agents of an equitable redistribution of suffering #& that just...doesn't ever lead anyone to good places. & it feels insane that i have to say that lol. but i'm right. & it doesn't.

[termagax]

like i think to fish theyre just both people who shouldve died a long time ago and now they arent allowed to. because they need each other. and they both crave that and resent it.

#they WANT to be so important to him that he would fall apart without then AND they resent that they cant fall apart without hurting him #they were having a perfectly decent apathetic slide into eternal misery and then he had to go and ruin it with love. whatever. #like they want to be this essential part of his life because they loooove having that power over him they really really do #and theyre mean about it too. but like. they dont like that it goes both ways #they dont like being looked after or cared about because they get too used to it and they feel themselves falling in love w him again and #they run away. and eventually they come back or he comes back to them. and they tell themselves its just transactional like #they have something he needs and he has something they want #animal sir chloe style #but just like that its like. its NOT that. they need him so fucking bad and they feel better when hes around even when they hate his ass #and espeically after they start 'working' for jr with him its like. they really really love him so bad and they hate it. #these stupid assholes making them feel alive again. making them feel FEEELINGS. liek a PERSON. eugh #and i think they hate how scared they get when something happens to roadhog. theyre supposed to know better than that basically #they feel like needing him is vulnerable because it opens the door for him to hurt them again which is why they so enjoy being the one in #control + being the one who leaves #and the one who lashes out and ect ect. but they cant help themself and they hate hirself for it. so like. well the only solution is that #you shouldve killed yourself two decades ago so i couldve wasted away mad at you like i was supposed to and wed be done with it. #fishs got a case of wanting to die in such a way where they wont take any active steps to get there #but they resent being alive and they resent every minute of pain they endure by being alive. hence the very sex booze violence lifestyle #but the frustrating thing about him is that they. most of the time. like being alive with him. so they have to endure more #more pain and heartache and frustration. and they dont want to but they cant do anything else. they cant even leave again at this point #anyways. my fishy #🐟 #they have every disease

[juice-enjoyer]

being on tumblr more and seeing literally no discourse has made me realize

1. how much I need to do a serious purge of my twitter timeline

2. how fucking irritating my twitter tl is

#sorry for the negativity ill probably delete this later #i am an adult i dont want to see discourse over fucking fiction anymore #i just feel kind of bad for the people that constantly engage with it now #txt #if im gonna see people get mad about stuff on the tl id rather it be about real shit #not a 10000 word essay on why everyone that doesnt enjoy things the same way you do is wrong and why every video game is awful and terrible #negative #like one of my mutuals deactivated recently and it made my tl so much more peaceful but two of my mutuals still just constantly engage in #discourse over completely inane shit. it drives me insane. #the one that deactivated always had just the worst opinion of every other video game and like four of our shared mutuals treated their word #like gospel and would also proceed to shit on that game relentlessly #happened with bg3. then that mutual found wotr and decided it was the best game ever made so our shared mutuals also agreed it was the best #game ever made and have been posting about it nonstop for months #and every time they post about it they have to compare it to bg3 for some reason? and talk about why bg3 is so bad and everyone that likes #it is an idiot for liking it #like omfg guys . you can enjoy something without comparing it to other things. It feels like you just enjoy things out of spite.

[zeawesomebirdie]

Actually I'm going to be salty outside of the tags. I don't think it's polite to shit talk someone genuinely enjoying an old show or movie or whatever, and then spend time watching shows and movies exclusively to talk about how shitty they are. I'm sorry I'm not a hater I'm a lover and if I want to watch something from 1966 and enjoy myself the whole time then just leave me be, I could never watch something that I didn't enjoy at least a little bit and I certainly could never sit through an entire show or even movie just because I wanted to make fun of it.

#vent post #delete later #maybe #sorry im not feeling good and i just. #i just want to watch something without people making comments all the time #and maybe i just Cant Comprehend the concept of hate watching ??? #like #maybe im just not socially aware enough #but why the FUCK would you put on a show and then spend THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME complaining about how bad it is?? #fucking hell #(im now hiding in my room despite my not enjoying watching things on my pc so. love wins) #(love and fanfic forever 😌)

[orbleglorb]

nothing makes me feel stupider than reading poetry i just can't fucking understand. unfortunately that is most poetry.

#i can't understand abstract things no matter how hard i try #unfortunately that does mean that most people find me stupid #i want to understand So Bad but i can't unless i'm walked through it #and even then i sometimes don't get it #and asking for help is just a great way to be called an idiot #i am so bad at understanding why poems are as emotionally impactful as everyone finds them #like i conceptually can understand richard siken poems but i don't get them like everyone else does #and it makes me feel so fucking stupid #i've had too many teachers mad that i didn't 'just get it' to NOT be made to feel like an idiot #everyone talks about how stories without symbolism are empty & ppl who enjoy stories w/o symbolism are... many things #unwilling to do critical thinking AT BEST #idk i want to. i just fucking can't because i'm fucking stupid #i cannot look at anything in a story and understand its symbolism #i can only barely grasp themes and then it's hard to put into words what it is #“oh there's no right answer” 12 years of school have taught me otherwise

[mwagneto]

ok so which part of "i dont want to have in depth discussion about the war on my silly fandom blog that i (and probably a lot of people who would end up seeing said discussions) use to get away from my real life where there is a war and 500 other horrors" is so hard to get

#mf i got like 10 asks about it bro i dont want to think about it !!!!!!!!!! #can i just dissociate and look at funney posts and gifset once every few days without #ppl treating me like a political blog. i already said all my opinions if u want them that bad just read them again #like questions about basic shit are fine but im not getting into deep political stuff that's not why this blog exists #if i post an opinion there's like a 90% chance it's coz i broke out of my dissociative slumber for #a few seconds in order to have A Thought ™ and I'll never think about it again. if you agree and #wanna expand on it that's one thing but im not a debate club and im especially not a discourse blog #anyway. dont send me asks that prompt discussions on the war or inflation or anything like that #i cant do anything about it and the more i think about it the worse it gets. ion wanna #log on here and open my ask box only to see 5 more asks about your russia headcanons especially when it's #straying into conspiracy theory level shit #im not a newspaper im just some mentally ill guy im here to look at gifs . please #barking #like again idk how to phrase this without sounding like i dont want any asks #asks about fandom discourse are always welcome. i might not publish it if the take is too hot but i always enjoy them #questions like ''how do you feel about /current bad thing/'' are ok but if it's #something I've been asked before i probably wont have anything else to say #essays about the war/economic crisis/housing crisis/etc... no ? please ? im just trynta enjoy whatever show im insane about currently #on here anyway. escapism and all

[yeslordmyking]

I want to be a crazy fashionista fangirl again 💔

#not that i'm like not anymore. i just feel guilty for enjoying worldly things so i stopped watching tv and listening to music #it's been months. it's torture. i want to watch lightyear and thor and listen to harry's latest album and be an ahgase again and- #but i'm satisfied by things other than God. i'm unholy. so i can't enjoy life anymore #just bible study and praise and prayer and service and holy suffering #i can't believe i'm sitting here not knowing what wonho's facade album sounds like and i won't ever get to watch jackson's cruel mv cuz 😈 #i know the song is about »fighting« your demons and i think he wins but Jackson baby boo imma christian i can't be seen streaming that mv😅 #it looks risky y'know. i know you've been through some dark times tho. that's the story you're telling #just don't know if God will be pleased with my support of it because i'm second guessing everything 🙄 #like i didn't see multiverse because... and it kinda kills me cuz i think that's a pivotal film for following the mcu story #will i ever watch mcu and disney films again? will i listen to music again? will i like clothes without being attacked by anxiety? #all these things of the world. is it ok with God to care about them and enjoy them? everything feels evil now. and most things are 🤷🏽‍♀️ #forgive me Lord for the people i love and the things i enjoy. i didn't guard my heart i suppose. i know i can't avoid absolutely everything #but how will i ever enjoy life if i psychoanalyze and scrutinize everything for unholiness? i'll find bad in everything and everyone #i'll have to hate everything.... #i'm so tired.... i can't do this... Lord why am i on this earth only to have to hate everything my heart wants? #and to reduce the people i care about to wicked sinners i mustn't support anymore? #what.... what do i do???