#but I want more than just our favorite angel and demon

[thefoolishone666]

Kickin Chicken once said

@hiwelcometothemonstersancturary gave me the go to do this, which is mistake one for them, so here is my go at giving them what they encouraged while I pray it works well. And if not...well I at least tried.

* (Refering to Bobby) She is called Captain Heartbeat cause she will squeeze love out of your heart...and blood, but mostly love.

* (After speaking pr-bt for a 2 minutes) You ever forget your first language?

* Mods, take their swimming privileges away and put them in the pool.

* I would go evil, but I am going to follow dad's steps of being good...plus I saw they went shoe shopping so...

* What do you mean I can't seduce myself!?

* (Loud thud off Camera) PERCEPÇÃO DE PROFUNDIDADE!

* Our ship has a pool, an omelet bar, tons of rooms for you to sleep in, one would say that is a cruise, to which I say, fair, but have you seen the plank, cause I am about to get you real familiar with it.

* I heard some demons were touched starved. I got more than enough buckshot to help with that.

* Bubba, reading chat: "Kickin isn't the sharpest knife in the group," Well that is rude...

Kickin: I did eat packing peanuts when I was younger to be fair.

Everyone in room:

Kickin:...Wait is this new information for you?

Everyone: YES!?

* Wonder how many people come on to see me stream thinking "Oh hey, the voice actor for Kickin does streaming," or "Hey is this the official channel for the Smiling Critters show?" And they just come in on me saying something like, "I HAVE BUILT A TO SCALE JOLLY ROGER WITH POPSICLE STICKS!"

* Hey Theo, it's you! (Gets empty bottle thrown at head) Ow.

* White is the color of evil, cause nothing exists in it! Delight taught me that!

* I would cry, but I am too dehydrated to do such a thing. (Goes to drink some water, pauses, puts water bottle back down)

* It is always funny to see people react to my complete indifference to horrible stuff.

* I needed to find a way to get a gambling addiction, so I thought space could have the answer.

* (Seeing Bubba being affected by the blue screen) Bubba, I know you always wanted to become the one thing I love, but this is ridiculous!

* I am just saying revenge is amazing, ok? Yeah, you gain a tremendous amount of regret sometimes, but it is amazing.

* Cool motive bro, still murder!

* (In response to Angel giving them food) It hasn't been that long since I started streaming, it has only been...5 hours...

* This is my favorite bird. (Holds up middle finger before pointing to self) It is the chicken.

* (Wearing VR) The future is today!...I might need it adjusted though.

* Does dying take away time away from my vacation days?

* IT IS ALL A CONSPIRACY TO END ME! IF NO ONE EVER HEARS FROM ME AGAIN, IT IS CAUSE THEY KILLED ME, CHOPPED ME UP, AND FED ME TO THE WOLVES DANG IT!

* Fursuits are getting so good you can now subject yourself to your own form of trauma to fuse into it. Brought to you by Playtime.

* I have seen the internet and honestly, have seen worse. Which is saying alot.

* (Looks at Candy Cat in his lap before looking at camera)...Help. me.

* Theo: You finally did it! Did it help when you imagined it was me you were fighting?

Kickin: Not at all...worked when it was Dogday though.

Dogday: WHAT DID I DO?

Kickin: Hell if I know. As long as it works though.

* (Playing I Expect You to Die, dies trying to do an action pose)...(Starts singing the James Bond theme notes)

* (Reacting to "Unnecessary Feelings") Bubba, I was promised a crime drama, not a reminder that no one in this house knows how to feeling well, including us!

* I would boop you, but I don't want a pirate hook this early in my character development.

* William then preceded to commit several hours of joy, on at least an entire classroom of kids to learn why death does.

* You can have one hit Hoppy...Ah não, ela tem uma cadeira!

* Don't worry, I won't hurt you, I am just going to turn into a nuke to fall on you.

* (Stares at camera while winding music box)

* Chica, you wouldn't hurt your brother, would you? Or would you want me to be you and Foxy's kid, whichever makes you more merciful on me.

* I am here to break the stereotype that parrots can only be pirates and no other reasons at all.

* (Refering to how much money he has in game) $60!? I can finally afford 1 AAA video game! (Pulls up Balan Wonderworld steam page) I am going to buy this one guys!

* Kickin, coming into Crafty's stream: You mind if I borrow a picture.

Crafty: Uh sure...Why?

Kickin, taking one of the monsters: A reminder.

Crafty: A reminder of what?

Kickin: Of who in this family is an actual threat. (Leaves without elaboration)

* Don't make fun of me, I will cry will I beat you up.

* We don't even own a game cube, I just want to find a copy of Skies of Arcadia to display.

* When you get into a certain mindset for so long, it is so jarring to have to go into a different line of think, like you just suddenly ask, "Wait I don't have to ration this sandwich for the entire year?"

* WHY DID I LET THEO TALK ME INTO PLAYING THIS!?

* I am still surprised I recovered so well from all of that.

* What would the others do without me? Minus not having a heart attack everyday.

* I SURVIVED THAT FACTORY FOR OVER 10 YEARS, I WILL NOT LET A SLIDING PUZZLE DEFEAT ME!

* Have good night everyone! I don't remember how I end these...I will make you walk the plank! No, that is not it...

#is it clear I used Google translate cause I don't know the language? #i am very sorry for that #poppy playtime #smiling critters #au #smiling critters arg #smiling critters poppy playtime #kickinchicken #poppy worldwide

[the-woild-is-ye-erster]

Okay this may be my hottest take ever but I… bear with me… dislike how popular Ineffable Husbands is. Let me explain. Good Omens has been an incredibly important book for me since the first time I opened it at 11 years old. It’s shaped everything from my writing style to my views on society and the world. It’s safe to say I’ve read this book 8 times at least.

Season 1, also very dear to me. I loved seeing these characters on screen and although some parts were different or cut, everyone worked so hard in their roles that it brought the book to life.

Now, here’s where I get lost. Good Omens is a story about the end of the world, and while yes its “main” characters are an angel and a demon who are very fond of the world and each other, the simple fact is that they aren’t what’s important about the story. They are fun and deep and amazing characters, but so are The Them, and Anathema and Newt, and Agnes Nutter, and Shadwell and Madam Tracy, and Warlock, and the four horsemen (and other four horsemen)/ bikers of the apocalypse, and that one televangelist that lives rent free in my head, and that guy who sees the trees take over the city and R. P. Tyler and everyone else.

They make the story. They are the humans— sans the four bikers—, and this gets lost in the fandom and, dare I say it, season two. I will say right now that I adore season 2, it’s what I’ve waited 4 years for and I would never ever criticize Neil Gaiman as I am definitely not qualified enough for that.

But.

Season 2 makes it all about Aziraphale and Crowley. It loses the message of the book and becomes almost a sort of rom com (for all our yelling and heartbreak and accusations of liar, Neil was right. It is quiet, gentle, and romantic). This is not inherently bad at all, but to me, it’s not Good Omens. It’s not the same. Crowley and Aziraphale were never my favorites, they were never where the meat of the story is at, so that’s where my point comes from I guess.

I am so glad we have representation like them. Middle aged queer people who have god knows what gender fuckery going on. But, sometimes I wish we talked about anything other than them. I wish I could find thoughtful analysis and writing and art just about the book (and even the show) that wasn’t simply “Crowley and Azirapahle aren’t together and they’re sad but then they are and now they’re happy.”

I don’t want anyone to read this and think I don’t like the ship, I love it, it was my first ship. But, sometimes, I just wish Good Omens hadn’t turned into a romance. I wish it was still the delightfully funny and childishly dark story that made me think, for the first time, writing was something I wanted to do. Because it was more than just a story, it was an idea.

TLDR: I love Ineffable Husbands, but I wish the fandom could talk about literally anything else for a change

#good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens meta #maybe #this is probably controversial #Crowley #aziraphale #I know I’m just being picky #but I want more than just our favorite angel and demon #I want Good Omens to mean something more than just a romance show #ineffable husbands #hopefully this doesn’t upset anyone #and makes sense #I just needed to get my thoughts out there #and if anyone finds this with the same ideas as me #please direct me to the corner of the internet where you came from #I’m not reading this again so if there’s spelling mistakes no there’s not

[sing-you-fools]

thinking about Good Omens 2. and stories, and the shape of them, and Terry Pratchett and his themes. and something clicked.

Aziraphale is cackling.

it's not just the ball. he spends the entire season trying to force the story into a shape it's not, and everyone suffers for it.

i've seen some less than charitable takes on Crowley's actions and they all ignore how much Crowley did try to talk to Aziraphale, did try to ask Aziraphale questions, did try to help, only to be ignored or brushed off. because his questions, his offers, they didn’t fit with the story Aziraphale was telling himself.

quiet, gentle, and romantic. it was, if you're our favorite Angel - right up until the end, at least. because he decided that's the story he was in. from the very beginning, he's off in la-la land, living out this romcom with a cute little mystery wrapped up in it, completely ignoring what's actually going on around him. i'll set Nina and Maggie up! (completely ignoring that Nina tells him she has a partner, and at that point, he has no reason to think she's anything less than happy.) i'll take ~our~ car to go do investigate this silly little mystery (he's not taking it even a little bit seriously!) while you stay here and run the bookshop and it will be so quaint and domestic! soon we'll dance and confess our feelings that we obviously share because we're already so clearly a couple we just need to finally say it!

Crowley knows the entire time that they're in a horror story but Aziraphale ignores every attempt he makes to point that out because it doesn't fit the story he decided he's in the middle of.

he brushes off Crowley's concerns and questions - his QUESTIONS! - like they're nothing. he doesn't want to see it, so he doesn't. and Crowley should have told him more?

why would he?

when you are CLEARLY in distress and it's being BLATANTLY AND WILLFULLY IGNORED, what the fuck are you supposed to do? "Crowley didn't comminicate" well okay if I were having a panic attack about something and my husband completely ignored it, chattering on about our dinner plans or whatever, that wouldn’t exactly make me want to open up about what was wrong! that would send the very fucking clear signal that he didn't want to know!

words aren't the only way we communicate and Crowley's body language, the entire season, is that of someone who is living in a horror story, knows he's living in a horror story, and is fucking terrified. if Aziraphale were paying any attention to Crowley instead of focusing all his energy trying to set things up just so for the big climax of his love story, he would know something major was wrong.

why would Crowley have told him how cruel Gabriel was about the execution when Aziraphale's already so thoroughly convinced that heaven is pure and good and has shown over and over through the millennia that he's not really open to considering that it can be cruel!

just look at them at the dance. Crowley freaking out because there's a horde of demons out there and Aziraphale giggling as they go to dance. that's the whole season!

you know who Crowley reminds me of this season?

he's watching helplessly and with increasing levels of distress as Aziraphale shoves every plot point into the romcom hole even though it's obviously not remotely romcom shaped! and i'm sick of people saying he was abusive because he raises his voice about it a few times!

#good omens #good omens season 2 #crowley #aziraphale #neil gaiman #terry pratchett #square hole #sing-you-fools #1k #5k #neil approved

[rineptune]

hello! can i get a lucifer x fallen angel!reader, that is maybe seen as another parental figure for charlie, and there’s some jealousy from luci in the beginning before he realizes how much care reader has towards charlie? if that makes sense?

hell’s greatest parent.

summary: in which charlie thinks of you as a parent figure and once again lucifer’s genuinely distraught and scared that his one and only daughter would no longer need him.

a/n: he’s jus a little insecure, but lucifer’s doing his best and that’s what matters!!

lucifer could feel it. an irritated, uptight smile threatening to make itself known in his face.

“what was that, kiddo?” lucifer asks charlie.

“yn’s going to teach me how to make pancakes!” charlie answers. “it’s a great bonding activity that enhances familial relationships. they told me all about how pancakes made in heaven are soo different from the ones made here— i just had to ask if they could teach me!”

“she’s quite the persistent lady, your highness,” you chuckle. “i’m assuming she got that from you?”

“...yes,” he grumbles, straightening his posture. “but, charlie! why didn’t you just call me? no offense, but i make out-of-this-hell pancakes, too!”

“because, dad! you weren’t awake yet, and i wanted to surprise everyone here in the hotel with heaven’s recipe for a devilishly delicious breakfast,” she preened, hands clasped together. stars are shimmering in her eyes, possibly a candidate to outshimmer the pentagram in the skies.

lucifer sighs, defeated. “oh, alright... but i’ll watch.”

“ok! this could be a refresher memory for you,” she beams. “what first, yn?”

“well, to start, we need to wear our aprons.”

you held up one for charlie, the fabric littered with small red hearts for its pattern, which she gingerly took with delighted awe. you also offered one to lucifer, but instead of accepting what you had brought with you, he simply snapped his fingers, and with what’s left of his angelic magic, he conjured one of his own, which he wore with a smug grin.

“how efficient.”

“heh, i could do a lot more than that,” he proudly says.

“i would never doubt it, your highness.”

your indifference to lucifer’s (perfectly wrapped under the radar) jealousy is just perfect. not only did he deal with the radio demon, who had the balls to even duel him in a sing-off—now he had to win a cooking contest, too?

it’s crazy!

crazy if he doesn’t participate in it and properly show you why he’s the boss!

“and careful to put the batter, charlie,” you guide her hand to pour the batter onto the heated pan.

“whoa—.. i did it!” she cheers.

“good job, sweetie,” he tells her.

lucifer is on charlie’s left, observing how his daughter works herself around the kitchen. he had to admit, you were a pretty good teacher; that even he learned a thing or two about making pancakes.

would you look at that?

lucifer learning new things that he already thought he knew.

“now, what would you want to go with your breakfast, charlie?” you ask.

“there’s bloodied-sweet syrup, mini fresh eyeballs that a friend of alastor brought in earlier; oh— ah, here it is,” you pulled out maple and strawberry syrup along with some butter and fruits— actual fresh fruits that you managed to smuggle in your bag before the fall.

“what?! they actually have maple syrup, and not stale-oak sap?”

“yes, they do,” you chuckle. “would you like to try them?”

“do i? i’m so happy to!”

lucifer sits at the end of the table as charlie decorates her pancakes with the toppings and condiments of her liking. a smile is seen on his face.

he remembers the time when it used to be like this, simple and sweet. how times have gone by, really.

“pancakes?”

your offer brought him out of his trance of thought. a breakfast shaped into one of his favorite things in the world.

a duck with a little apple slice on its head.

“thank you, though you didn’t have to go through the trouble of...” lucifer’s absolutely speechless, and if it weren’t for the façade he has on, you bet your wings he would’ve been jumping up and down in joy. “serving it in this shape.”

“it’s no trouble at all, really.” you smiled.

and holy hell does that smile ease his worries.

“dad, oh my gosh! thesh are twe besht pancwakes, ever! like, weally—the absholoo best!” charlie says, words somewhat audible because she had her mouth full.

“charlie, dear, don’t talk while your mouth is full; otherwise you’ll choke,” you sigh, yet there was a smile on your lips, taking initiative to wipe away the excess syrup on the corner of her mouth with a damp cloth.

charlie giggles sheepishly, nodding.

“than’ weu!”

the realization sets in when lucifer sees this. that you actually care for charlie and are not there to replace him totally. he’s reassured, and happy as he finally takes a bite of his warm, delicious breakfast.

#classic ໒꒱ ink #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x y/n #hazbin hotel x you #lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer morningstar x reader #hazbin hotel fluff #lucifer x y/n #lucifer x you #lucifer fluff

[experimentfae]

Alastor x Wife! Reader

Oneshot / fluff

After you and alastor had moved into the hotel to “help.” Let’s just say that the rest of the hotel residents saw pda all. The. Time.

Vaggie watched as alastor kissed your hand again! “Sweet satan can those two get a room already that’s literally the seventh time he kissed her hand.” She grumbled out “aw come on vaggie you have to admit it’s sweet seeing love like that’s down here, it’s rare, except our love of course.” Stated Charlie.

“I get it, we get like that, but the difference is that we do it SOMETIMES they do it EVERY TIME they have the chance.” She Argued “and besides I just really don’t like that radio dipshit.” “Oh please you don’t like anyone attached to a dick.” Angel dust butted in while he laid on the other couch busy looking at his phone.

Vaggie could only roll her eyes in response “well I think our pda is not of your concern.” Spoke alastor with a smug look which made everyone except you jump a little “satan’s asshole do you always have to come out like that?!” Argued angeldust “it’s more entertaining to watch all of you jump in a little scare.” Alastor replied proud of himself to make them a little scared.

“Dear even if it was quite hilarious we can’t do that to them all the time… it wouldn’t be entertaining anymore like that.” You advised him while you walked towards him to be next to him. “You’re right my dear, wouldn’t wish that.”

“Yep a match made in hell.” Grumbled out husk then he continued to take his beer “husk is right my dear we the perfect pair.” “I don’t think that’s what he meant sorta, but we are perfect for each other.” Just then you looked to see the clock then you let out a gasp “oh Al we don’t want to be late for our dinner reservations.” You stated, “oh yes, we must get ready.”

With a simple snap of his finger’s you and alastor were completely dressed “what’s up with the getup?” Angeldust questioned “it’s our anniversary, so we going to the cannibal colony to alastor’s favorite restaurant.” You smiled “wait you’re a cannibal too.” Vaggie asked in shock “well… I did try demon meat and it’s not that bad.” You answers shrugging your shoulders “so that’s a yes? Or … no?” Charlie questioned further “mmm yeah I believe so.” You answered again.

“Huh didn’t take you for a cannibal.” Spoke husk “yeah have you ate another’s man pecker and Al if she did would you be ok with that?” Questioned angeldust “absolutely not.” You both answered “enough with the questions we must hurry (y/n).” Demanded alastor “goodb- you didn’t get to finish you’re farewell due to alastor, once again he snapped his fingers and you were at the restaurant.

“Thankfully my love we made it on time.” Alastor spoke while he grabbed your hand and guided you inside the restaurant. A host was at the front seeming to writing something “welcome to the FedOnPals how may- when he looked up he immediately panicked “T-The alastor by hen smiled wider “yes me the radio demon and my lovely wife!” Alastor stated proudly also just because you knew he was an attention whore so he wanted others to know he was there.

Of course some of the cannibals in the restaurant seemed nervous. “Well- yes um of course I see you’re name on the list so… let me b-bring to your table.” The man said clearly wanting to get out of this situation as fast as possible.

Of course you two got the best seats in the house “a waiter will be with you shortly very… shortly p-promise.” The host immediately left with only made alastor chuckle “I do love the perks of being an overlord.” “Aw even more than me?” You teased with a smirk, he smiled wider “no dear you know I can’t love anything more than you.”

You smiled “I love the outfits you picked for us by the way very classy.” “Of course, only the best for my wife.” Just then a waiter came in “hello I’m Mindy and I’ll have your orders.” The demoness spoke as she gave you two the menus.

As the demoness left you two picked out your orders, ate, alastor paid then you two left to go to a jazz club to dance “oh honey you rembered my favorite spot.” You spoke with pure joy “I could never forget, besides our love for jazz is how we meet.” You smiled brighten as you pecked his cheek making him lightly blush “adorable.” “Me? adorable!? dear don’t joke like that.” Alastor demanded making you laugh “oh honey alright just having a little fun.”

Alastor opened the door for you, the song ‘lets misbehave’ by Irving Aaronson filled you’re ears “oh that’s a good song.” You stated, you thanked alastor and went through and he went after you.

You immediately dragged him to the dance floor which he happily let you, both you begin doing the Charleston funny enough this song always reminded you have alastor.

He then brought you into the foxtrot dance, you both looked into each others eyes that are filled with love. He the suddenly gave you a kiss making you blush but immediately kiss back.

You two continued dance, happy to in each others arms and having a loving relationship and knowing that you two where always will be inseparable.

<- Back to MasterList or back to Hazbin Hotel

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x reader #alastor x wife reader #reader insert #hazbin hotel fandom #hazbin hotel fanfiction

[silkythewriter]

I had an idea for a few headcanons you could do if ya want—

Maybe Sir Pentious with a reader who is so obviously in love with him, and keeps pining over him while literally everyone else but Sir Pentious himself can tell they like him? Like he's just really oblivous until reader finally straight up tells him.

Sir Pentious with a clearly in love reader!(●’◡’●)❤︎︎

Warnings!: Non!

Fandoms!:Hazbin hotel!

Author’s note!: HI HI OMG I LOVE SIR PENTIOUS HES SO SILLY!!!! I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS AS MUCH AS I DID

Summary!: reader who’s clearly in love with our favorite snake demon

❤️Written by silkythewriter Do not steal or repost on any other platform please! ❤️

☆✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬☆

“Call me, you can call me

Boy, just call me (call me, call me)

While you stalling, I'm evolving

I'd give all me”

☆✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬☆

!🐍✨Sir Pentious✨🐍!

First of all, just to get out of the way, THIS MAN IS OBLIVIOUS!!!!, Autism be damned my boy can pull without even telling!!!!!

No but in all seriousness he is oblivious to your obvious longing for him.

Everyone can see you giving him shy longing stares only for him to be ranting about his latest invention. Not only would he not be able to tell but he’d always think your just being nice!

Of course he’s crushing hard behind his bedroom door to his little eggs. Happily stating and going on rambles of how gorgeous you looked today. He’d state everything! From the new hair style you tried to the new piece of clothing you bought and wore. When I mean he notices everything I mean it, but for some reason he can’t pick up on your obvious love for him.

The way he could stare in your eye as you tell him he looks breathtaking and still think you mean it just to be nice is astonishing. OF COURSE HES BLUSHING AND KICKING HIS TAIL, but he can’t bring himself to think you like him anymore than just friends!

He’d go to his egg boys and sadly rant on how you’ll only see him as friend. And the egg boys all share one Brain cell so they can’t tell you like him aswell!, maybe they might accidentally spill, or almost spill the secret of him liking you but he quickly knocks them away before you can make sense of what their saying.

All the residents watch as you do your best to drop hints only for him to complete miss it. Even angel cringes as he watches him completely be oblivious to the obvious flirting, it’s take Charlie and Vaggie to stop him from pointing out the obvious.

Husk almost always gives Sir Pentious as gaze of just utter confusion and tiredness.

He’d gladly take flowers from you that you gifted him and take care of it for weeks on end without realizing the romantic gesture!

Alastor, as always finds it humorous, although he usually doesn’t indulge himself in romantic like things he’s find it hilarious. “Even with three eyes he still can’t see the obvious! Ha!”

Charlie tries to help to the best of her ability to help guid him the right direction but it’s just end up with him more confused. Vaggie just face slaps internally,

honestly the whole crew wasn’t having high hopes for him as dim as that is. , look! He ain’t bad looking, but not many people would prefer his clumsy self, so they were honestly hoping he’d figure it out before you possibly moved on.

Even when your upset at the obvious frustrating situation he’s still be confused while trying to do his best to comfort you.

“Well I think the man isss clearly as dumb as a rock!”

It took you starring dead in his eyes for him to question if you were alright. Before you stated it was him

The way he just stood staring at you in pure disbelief, before snapping out of it and embarrassed as his previous words. But after the said embarrassment he’s full with giddy, why of course you love him!, he’s the great sir pentious!

Yea his embarrassment would quickly turn into pride, considering he got someone as beautiful as you to fall for him.

Definition of a clumsy gentlemen, he’d open doors so fast it’d smack him in the face, or pull when it’s a push door and be confused why it’s not opening.(´ω｀💧)

He’s just a silly lil guy! (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)

I feel like the crew in the hotel would be relief to find he finally figured out.

At the end of the night he’s squealing like a high school girl as he rambles to his egg boys about you in a new light!.

He’s gift you small little trinkets or happily spend hours with you talking!

He’s as lovesick as your are! He’s just a bit dense when it comes to accepting the fact you love.

It’s like the roles switched! Now he’s daydreaming-ly staring at you happy to have you as his, and him a yours.

Like I’ve said before! He’s a total drama queen, he can’t help it!, deny him a kiss teasingly? He’s crumbling down to the ground and holding his chest as if he just had a heart attack! (¬_¬)

He’s not at all secretive of his love for you, even if he wants to, to keep his image “professional”, he just can’t help and dote on you!

overall he’s a big dote and softy even if he tries to hide it, loves you with his whole being! ( ˘ω˘ ) He can a be a bit over the top sometimes but you’ll come to accept it! And hey who wouldn’t want a silly snake demons who’s tripping over their tail for you. Yea you got him in and over his head but he wouldn’t have it any other way. The roles have truly reversed(≖ᴗ≖✿)

☆✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬☆

I LOVE HIS SILLY LIL SELF SO MUCH MORE PEOPLE SHOULD WRITE FOR HIM :(. TYSM FOR THE REQUEST I LOVED IT SM!!!! PLEASE COME AGAIN!!

#x reader #deez nuts #hazbin hotel #anon <3 #all genders #main character #x y/n #i hope you like it #hazbin hotel sir pentious #sir pentious #hazbin sir pentious #sir pentious x reader #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #silly little guy #ty for coming to my ted talk #thanks anon! #sorry this took so long #i loved writing this #i love him i swear #hes a cutie patootie #please come again! #woooohooooo #ty for the ask <3 #character x reader #x you #x gn reader

[hazbn-oneshots]

Bathtime Headcanons

Just a few headcanons for sharing a bubble bath with the main characters. Enjoy!

Charlie:

oddly enough Charlie doesn’t partake in full baths as much as she favors showers.

She’s busy dealing with the hotel and along with ruling as the Princess of Hell so she much prefers a quick warm spray.

On the occasion, however, she finds herself tired enough that you might just be able to convince her to indulge with you. 

You make a point of dredging up any kind of bubble bath, bath bomb, lotion, anything you can find to ensure that you can provide the best bubble bath possible.

Music plays softly over a small speaker, but it’s drowned out the hushed whispers of words of love as you meticulously wash and condition her hair.

Conditioning is your favorite step. Charlie didn’t need it often as her hair somehow stayed so silky, so every now and then when you got to run a soft brush through her hair, twisting it gently to pin atop her head.

She tries to wash you in return but you always push her hand away, insisting on pampering her after a hard day.

Usually ends with you drying her off and carrying her to bed when she inevitably passes out.

Vaggie:

Vaggie loves baths but she’s hard pressed to admit it. Nothing feels better on sore muscles than a nice soak, ideally with lavender. She loves lavender.

The two of you had been dating for about 6 months before she even entertained the idea of going to you with such a request. 

She was too embarrassed to ask.

-in the end, how she broaches the subject is by surprising you one night when you return home. A few candles lined the edge of the bathtub that was filled nearly to the brim with bubbles.

”I just thought it would be nice, you’ve been gone all day” And you know better to react calmly should you risk spooking the flustered angel with the scarlet red face.

She’s the one that drags it out in the end. She’d wrap her arms just a little tighter around your waist and mutter about how the water would stay warm for just a little longer.

Vaggie gives sweet towel hugs.

Alastor:

Listen, Alastor takes pride in his hygiene. He takes the utmost care to keep himself and his dress in immaculate condition. 

He’ll invest in facial creams, hair creams, body creams, oils, lotions, you name it and he’s used it. 

But baths? No. Absolutely not.

You’ve only attempted to convince Alastor to take a bath with you and neither occasion ended particularly well. The radio demon wouldn’t speak to you for a week after the first failed attempt and had all but removed himself from your life with the second so you couldn’t say you were in any hurry for a third.

However, the two of you have come to a happy compromise. Whenever you found yourself in the mood to draw a bath you would sometimes find Alastor pulling a chair up next to the tub with a book tucked under his arm. So would begin a lovely tradition between the both of you.

More than once you’ve found yourself dozing to the soft static of the Alastor’s voice, and in response the demon would lightly tap his cane against the edge of the tub to rouse you.

Don’t fall asleep though, three strikes and he’ll leave you in the tub. No he doesn’t.

Husk:

Not. A. Fan. Considering his entire being consists of fur and feathers, Husk can and will do everything within his power to avoid bathing if he can. Look, it’s just not his idea of a fun night to sit down with a hairdryer and attempt to wring himself out as best he can.

Inevitably he’d miss a spot and end up with stale wet cat smell and no one likes that, especially not our resident grump.

He won’t make a fuss if you want to bathe with him though. What he will do is laugh while patting your shoulder. “I’ll wait for ya in the room”

The more comfortable he gets, however, you’ll start to see that eventually Husk begins to find reasons just to ‘wander’ into the bathroom with you. He misses you, you know it, but it’s still sweet to see him making the excuse of looking for his lucky pair of boxers.

”The water’s always warm darlin”

You better get the blow dryer ready, the only way you can convince him is if you’ll deal with it. You don’t mind though, the purrs are worth it

Angel Dust:

You and Angel take turns picking which bath bombs and bubble baths that you’ll throw into whichever potion you’ll be brewing up tonight.

Bathtime with Angel was always a favorite for you, you couldn’t think of anything better than getting to curl up with your cuddle bug in your arms. Although things never really stay that way for long.

It’s hard not to tease while washing each other. A slip of the hand here, just a little rough touch of loofah there, just a sweet little taste of what could be but the restraint comes easy in the relaxed atmosphere. Just in times like these Angel will be patient enough to wait until you can actually make it to the bed. 

Angel won’t let you wash his hair. You don’t know why he’s so particular about it but if you interrupt his routine of products then his entire night is ruined so you choose the peaceful route and leave the man be. That doesn’t mean he won’t wash your hair for you if you ask though, those four hands of his do wonders at massaging the scalp.

Angel will 10/10 let you towel dry him every single time and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t use it as an opportunity to make a show at bending this way and that, making sure to get every inch of him.

He looks like a fluffy mess afterwards but hey, he’s your fluffy mess.

Requests open!!

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel imagine #alastor x reader #alastor headcanons #hazbin hotel headcanon #husk headcanons #husk x reader #angel dust headcanons #angel dust x reader #vaggie x reader

[tumb1rprincess]

Thoughts on episodes 7 and 8 of Hazbin Hotel

The fucking "ace in the hole" joke with Alastor, that was funny.

I want Rosie as my therapist. I can't believe a cannibal is one of the sweetest characters on the show.

So angel weapons are the only thing that can kill angels, okay. I knew that was a thing, but I wondering if maybe Carmilla did it some other way. Also, her instantly recognizing Vaggie as an angel made me laugh. Was that supposed to be a nod towards the fans for figuring that out ages ago?

More fucking bops, hell yeah. I think my favorite out of this bunch had to be Charlie and Vaggie's reprise of More Than Anything. So fucking cute!

I legit that Angel Dust was going to be like "So, if this is our last night, how about we fuck?" to Husker, but I guess their relationship is going to be more of a slow burn. That's fine with me.

Alastor and Nifty are so cute, they're fucking weirdo besties.

Sir Pentious my beloved, you were a good boy. I didn't expect him to be the one to go, but I also didn't expect him to end up in Heaven. Does this mean that Heaven will finally see that redemption is possible?

We finally saw Adam's face! It's kind of generic, but maybe that's the point? Also, I just now realized his robes are supposed to look like a sports varsity jacket.

This fight was bloody, man. Angels getting ripped apart, Lute ripping off part of her own body to get out from under that rubble, Adam getting the shit beat out of him.

Lucifer and Charlie finally showing their true demon forms and showing their real power was so satisfying. Glad they showed Adam what for, although Nifty killing him was hilarious.

Dude, Alastor got shook during this fight. He got hurt, he had to run, and whatever deal he's in is suffocating him. I wonder if his favor to ask of Charlie is her figuring out how to free him.

So Lilith is in Heaven. This raises so many questions. Why is she there? What is she planning? Does she have Alastor on a leash or does somebody else?

This also makes me question where the series will go from here. Heaven probably won't be doing exterminations anymore since they don't want to lose anymore angels. Will the main conflict next season be getting Heaven to recognize that redeeming sinners is possible? Will Heaven even let Charlie and the others know that Sir Pentious got there? Will Lilith be the big bad? What's Lute's next move now that she's in charge of the exterminators?

I guess me theorizing so much about season 2 shows how much I loved season 1. I'm so glad I got into this series, and this show has gone from a little Youtube pilot to a full fledged show with one season done another on the way. The only thing I hope is that season 2 will have more than eight episodes, I want more time with these characters and to see their development more. I want to see what happens next. God, what a show.

#spoilers #alastor #rosie #carmilla carmine #vaggie #lucifer #charlie morningstar #adam #lute #lilith #sir pentious #nifty #angel dust #husk #hazbin hotel

[foolishlovers]

Hi! I love your recs so much! Thank you for all the work you put into them! I hope it is okay to request my own? I would love to see a list of your favorite humorous explicit fics starring our ineffable idiots. I prefer non AUs, but if you have an absolute masterpiece, I'll take it no matter what!

Only if you want to, of course! Thank you, again!!

hey, that's so sweet, thank you so much!! 💜

of course, here are some of my favourite non AU humorous explicit good omens fics: [you can request more fic recs here.]

i made an excuse (you found another way) by orphan_account (1k) “Angel, the restaurant’s right there.” It was. Crowley gestured to it with a definitive arm wave. The Ritz was at the corner of Piccadilly and Arlington, and they could see the hotel facade as they stepped out of the park. “We can walk there.” “Let’s drive.”

Booty Call by emmagrant01 (2k) “It’s called a ‘butt dial,’ Angel. A ‘booty call’ is something else.”

The Angel Line by FancyTrinkets (2k) The one in which Aziraphale purchases and listens to a pornographic audiobook that just so happens to be narrated by Crowley. Aziraphale cringed and covered his face. This was going to be awful, and also thrilling, and he wasn't sure what he ought to be feeling about it, but there was a definite sense of vicarious shame.

Just a Taste by summerofspock (3k) See, it wasn’t so much the eating. It was the noises. It was the indecent look on Aziraphale’s face. It was the way he licked his fingers and wiggled in his seat. Every little action felt specially created to undo Crowley. And Aziraphale had no idea.

The Rake by CopperBeech (3k) During the long estrangement of the 1800's, Aziraphale practiced a secret hobby – and it wasn’t the gavotte. Crowley finds out in an unexpected way.

For a Good Time, Call by seashadows (3k) Three rings. Four. Seven, and then “Hello?” “Hello, sssssweetheart,” Crowley said. “How would you like my long, slithery tongue up your tight little –“ Then it hit him: he knew that voice. Dear. Fucking. Satan. (Sometime in the depths of the 1990s, Hell tasks Crowley with spreading lust. As usual, he makes as little effort as he can, but gets a heaven of a lot more than he bargained for.)

The One in Which Crowley Discovers Wanking by for_autumn_i_am (5k) It began, like most memorable events in Crowley’s life did, with a bad decision; like most bad decisions, it involved poor impulse control and copious amounts of alcohol. The Antichrist had been born, and he put on lipstick and kitten heels to deal with it, but knew that the clock was ticking, and at times when time was slipping away, it helped to hold onto a bottle of gin.

Fine Dining by iamshame (13k) "There was something else I was going to ask you," Aziraphale continued, unabashed. "Ah… How to put it?" He tapped his hand on his thigh for a moment, and then apparently found inspiration. "Ah! When you're…" Crowley made the mistake of making eye contact with him, and Aziraphale gave him another outrageous wink. "Dining out… What cutlery do you prefer to use?" "I'm sorry?" Crowley said pleasantly, trying his best not to cause anything in the dining room to catch aflame in his frustration. Aziraphale gave him a reproachful stare, as if Crowley were being very stupid. "When you're eating, Crowley. Do you favour the… The knife?" Aziraphale actually glanced conspicuously at his own crotch, and Crowley considered leaving the dining room via the nearest window. "Or the spoon?" Another raised eyebrow. "Or even, let's say, a fork?" "What the fuck is the fork in this situation?" Crowley hissed through gritted teeth. Aziraphale mentions that he'd like to have sex with Crowley. Crowley is completely taken-aback, and very conflicted, and very interested. Aziraphale is also trying to kill him by using elaborate food metaphors to explain the whole subject, which is not helping in the slightest.

Trial & error by fellshish (15k) The Metatron brings in the demon Crowley to stand trial in Heaven. For tempting an angel. Uhhhh. Awkward.

Feast by Ashfae, mostlyjustgoose (15k) Crowley's spent the whole of lockdown asleep. Aziraphale has spent the whole of lockdown baking, cooking, and becoming increasingly frustrated with his solitude. Which eventually leads him to the perfect way to solve all his problems at once… Or, Aziraphale attempts to seduce Crowley with a truly excellent meal, and Crowley is amenable.

One Night In Bangor (And the World's Your Oyster) by Atalan (17k) "All right, I know I'm going to regret asking this," Aziraphale says. "What exactly does this wager entail?" Crowley grins like the cat that not only got the cream but has absconded with the entire cow. He grabs the bottle and swigs straight from it despite Aziraphale's tut of disapproval.  "The pot goes to whichever demon can get an angel into bed by the end of the evening." AKA The Fic That Tumblr Made Me Write. Heaven and Hell share a corporate party once per millennium. This time someone's had the bright idea of issuing a challenge to the demons of Hell. Crowley has no intention of missing the opportunity; Aziraphale's just enough of a bastard to make him work for it.

Ideal Partner by summerofspock (17k) “Would you like to explain why you’re watching pornography? In your bookshop? During business hours?” Aziraphale flaps his hand, typically dismissive of any criticisms of his abysmal business practices. “Did you know I’ve been on this earth for nearly 6 millennia and have never engaged in intercourse before?” Crowley grinds his teeth and feels his cheeks heat. What is he supposed to say to that?

Anything for Science by Magnolia822 (20k) Aziraphale decides he wants to make an Effort, so he watches a lot of porn for science. And when he asks for help with more hands-on experimentation, Crowley is only more than happy to oblige.

The Loophole, or, How to Convince a Demon God Exists in Three Easy Steps by fellshish (24k) Ah, yes. Being an Archangel is going splendidly. Aziraphale accidentally erases God from the Book of Life.

32 Questions That Lead To Love by ffonippop (32k)

”First formulated in 1997, [32] questions to fall in love is a study by psychologist Dr. Arthur Aron which took place at Stony Brook University, New York. The aim? Speeding up the creation of intimacy between two strangers.” The Cosmopolitan

Okay, fine.

Crowley was 32-Questions-That-Lead-To-Love-ing Aziraphale. Sue him.

He had no expectations, all right? Just, an innocent curiosity.

The Grindr Logo Doesn't Even Have a 'G' In It by indieninja92 (79k) After the Apocalypse, Aziraphale ventures into a new space in the gay milieu - Grindr. There he starts talking to a charming young man who certainly doesn't bear any resemblance at all to a certain long streak of demon, not one bit, no thank you. Meanwhile, Aziraphale and Crowley navigate their friendship after the world failed to end. There is much drinking and silliness, but could it be that there are other feelings lurking underneath?? Of course there are, this is fanfic.

[you can find more fic rec masterposts here]

#seriously fic rec requests are always welcome!! #good omens #good omens fic rec #good omens fanfiction #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #aziracrow fanfic #crowley x aziraphale #foolish recs #go fic masterpost

[somehow-a-human]

Oh look it's another crack theory!

Crowley is the current supreme archangel.

DO NOT ASK NEIL ABOUT FAN THEORY

Okay so hear me out, and look, I SAID CRACK! I have fun crack theories pop in my head every once in a while and I'm gonna write em down. It's not cannon with any of my other ideas or metas it's just *a thing*.

So! If you want to follow me down a wormhole of extrapolation, do so below!

"There is always a supreme archangel!"

Michael said it not me! Blame her! But look, that line is a choice, and it feels there for a reason. Maybe there IS always a supreme archangel. Maybe it's not a job you're hired for, maybe it's something that's inherited like royalty, and transfers automatically.

The 25 lazarii miracle.

Okay yes, I think it's just love and angel/demon working together is more powerful than apart, shades of grey, all that. BUT nobody else thinks that. Heaven and hell do not think that. They do not think Az and Crowley should have been able to do that miracle by any means. So I'd assume they're scratching their heads, and Aziraphale does tell the Archangels initially that he performs the miracle alone, which I assume would have then been relayed to the Metatron.

"A miracle of enormous power happened last night, the kind of miracle only the mightiest of archangels could perform" ... "How do you know I didn't do it?"

Let's say I'm right, look I'm humoring my own theory aren't I? Does Crowley know? Would he be aware of what happened? Would he feel it? If he did I could definitely see him keeping that card close to the chest, but still being a snarky ass to Shax.

Crowley opens the file in heaven.

So he's at least a Throne or Dominion or above, probably even higher up than that. He says they never change their passwords, and if that's true what else don't they change? What else have they forgotten? Bureaucratic nightmares like heaven often overlook so many things, who's to say a certain high up angel wasn't taken off all the books fully after they became a demon?

Why does the Metatron actually want Aziraphale back in Heaven?

I mean? Sure he and Crowley averted Apocalypse Part 1 last time I guess that's why, but couldn't there have been an easier way than a faux job promotion? I'm thinking: Gabriel is gone, the position of Supreme Archangel is automatically inherited, none of the Archangels in heaven are it, Aziraphale is suddenly accidentally performing a 25 lazarii miracle all by his lonesome? What if the Metatron thinks it's Aziraphale who has been chosen for the role of Supreme Archangel. But there's one thing he's over looked...

A clerical error.

What if it's not Aziraphale but it's Crowley. Crowley was formerly a high ranking angel before the fall. He's still able to access files in heaven, maybe they've forgotten to completely erase him from all the books and databases, and he was next in line, or maybe God just has a funny sense of humor. Angels and demons alike seem to just automatically listen to Crowley this season and do what he asks, Shax calls him "Arch-traitor" he seems like he might just know a bit too much more than he should, and the scene during the trial where Gabriel says, " However I am the only first order Archangel in the room or ya know the universe." Then the camera cuts directly to a close-up shot of Crowley? It's a bit too foreboding in my opinion to be nothing.

Final Thoughts.

This comic is posted on Whickber street between Aziraphale's Bookshop and the Record Shop. Neil had asked that it revolve around the horrible crime of stealing halos. When I see this comic, I can't help but think that the original halo owner is very James Bond, a character our favorite snake like demon loves to portray. I wonder if Anthony J "just a J really" Crowley chose J for a reason more than just a J (maybe........... Jophiel?), and I wonder if he really was fully deserving of his fate during the fall or if there's a bit more to the story.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #good omens theories #good omens clues #crowley x aziraphale #aziraphale #crowley #david tennant #michael sheen #good omens clue #good omens theory #ineffable mystery #ineffable divorce #ineffable husbands #ineffable idiots #ineffable spouses #ineffable fandom #good omens speculation #thank you for letting me write out my crack ideas and post them here with little to no repercussions #sometimes i barely believe the things i write down #is that problematic or is that just being imaginative?

[vidavalor]

I think you're the fifth blogger I've seen mention Shax's thing for Crowley... I still can't see it even though I really want to 'cause I think it's hilarious... send help... 🤣🥲😔

I can try lol. Chocolate cake? *slices*

More fun with Shax and Crowley under the cut. We're also going to look at part of Gabriel & Sandalphon's visit to the bookshop in S1 for some bonus fun since it fit in here as it's a parallel scene.

TW: Brief mention of Sandalphon and his homophobia.

For the most part, Shax isn't really in love with Crowley... she's just got a Mr. Brown-level pash on the Crowley that Crowley projects. While Aziraphale hides that he's an angel from the human world so Mr. Brown only believes him to be human, Crowley hides the extent to which he's human and living like one from the demons in Hell. As a result, the demon pursuing him has got exactly one thing correct about Crowley-- that he's hot lol-- but Shax's opinions as to why only partially overlap with ours and Aziraphale's because Shax believes Crowley's big reputation. She doesn't know what we know about him or see him the way we do. Like Mr. Brown with Aziraphale, she exists in part to highlight how insular Crowley & Aziraphale's world of their life together is and how much they have to playact in their respective worlds to keep that secret life they have with one another private and intact.

Shax is a demon who loves being a demon. That's what makes her crazy to us. Most of the other demons we've met are just miserable, even if they're playing along, but Shax is a real go-getter. She's ambitious and she lives to serve their master Satan. She wants to be good at being a demon and she's in love with *Crowley* lol. To us, this seems bananas because ain't no demon ever hated being a demon more than Anthony Jemimah Crowley... but it's proof positive of how decent a job Crowley has been doing at projecting an air of general demonicness for the last six thousand years.

Crowley has been a prince of Hell forever. He's gotten the top jobs-- the stuff of Shax's dreams, really-- and was a particular favorite of Satan, whom Shax worships. He was basically Hell's resident rock star, breezing in every few months to give a demonic presentation and shoot the shit in Lord Beezlebub's office for a half-hour before taking off for Earth again. If you were Shax, spending literally *thousands of years* in that overstuffed, dark, actual hell hole, Crowley showing up must have been like a visit from sexy Santa Claus. Shax is one of those Effort-making demons and most of the demons in Hell are more terrifying than attractive, ok?... even if you find terrifying attractive, like Shax sorta does or at least thinks she ought to.

Who's going to light your fire down there? Hastur? He'd *literally* light you on fire....

We've seen Shax have to deal with misogyny in the workplace (ugh Demon Josh) and you know she never got any of that shit from Crowley. She probably mostly got a "Shaaaaax! How's it hangin'?" from Disco Tony, who was thrilled to have remembered her name this time. Shax was playing it evil demon lady cool on the surface but girl just wants to be first string for the finest demon in Hell and she was swooning internally every time Crowley swooped in to grace Hell with his presence for a hot minute.

There has been suggestion in the series that several demons that we know of from Bible lore are, in Good Omens, all actually Crowley, which furthers this idea of Crowley and his big reputation a bit. The show has actually already done this with a Biblical figure, in that Bildad the Shuite is an actual Biblical character that the show just made be actually the demon Crowley under a different name, so it would make sense that the reason why we haven't seen other famous demons from The Bible in the series are because they're actually Crowley.

One is canon, basically, which is Astaroth/Astoreth, since Crowley was Nanny Astoreth in S1 and I doubt he stole the name from another demon who exists in the GO universe. When Crowley tells Aziraphale he changed his name when they are watching Jesus' crucifixion, Aziraphale first posits two other demons' names and neither of them exist in GO universe to date but both are, lore-wise, powerful: Mephistopheles and Asmodeus. A lot of other great meta has been written about these choices-- in particular, how well Mephistopheles fits Crowley to a tee, which I really, really agree with. You could assume then that the reasons why more audience-known demons like Astoreth and Asmodeus have never shown up in GO-- and we've met the highest-ranking demons already-- is because they actually *have* and they're all just really Crowley.

In demon lore, Astaroth is part of the "evil trinity" with Beezlebub and Lucifer and is a high-ranking demon in Hell... as well as is basically a genderbent serpent goddess with Crowley traits... so safe to say that's one of Crowley's aliases. Crowley has also had his name of "Crowley" for thousands of years by S1 but when he's rolling up in The Bentley in 1.01, Ligur and Hastur clarify what Crowley's "calling himself up here these days", indicating that he might have gone by more names than we might have realized.

Asmodeus, as we all probably know by now, is the demon of lust. A French novel from the 18th century also popularized the idea of Asmodeus as a sort of Cupid, which also goes along with Crowley, who loves love and got genuine joy out of trying to set up Maggie and Nina. So... from Shax's perspective, why *wouldn't* you want Crowley? He's the fine as fuck, Serpent of Eden, legendary prince of fucking lust here lol.

Shax showed up to reclaim his apartment for Hell and you know she expected a scene the likes of which have not been seen on Earth since a post-concert hotel suite occupied by Led Zeppelin lol. She was expecting (fantasizing lol) about having to wade through a rock music blasting, orgiastic drug den to find Asmodeus in his sex dungeon of a bedroom, somewhere in the black silk sheets beneath three playthings.

You know she actually found Crowley, alone, having just finished vacuuming the most fastidiously clean flat this side of Heaven, fully dressed and watching Barefoot Contessa on his massive plasma screen while the only drugs being mixed were special-blend fertilizer for his houseplants. Ina was making Jeffrey red-wine braised short ribs and Crowley didn't say so to Shax, of course, but he's always on the lookout for something his angel might like for dinner. Hang on a second, Shax, gotta save this recipe to my favorites...

At least the black silk sheets were accurate? lol

What probably confuses Shax a little is that she's been meeting up with Crowley and she still wants him and badly, even as it's becoming increasingly clear that he's a bit more complicated than she thought he was. Technically, she should consider him a traitor because of how he betrayed their Master but he's hot, ok, and maybe it's a little sexy to be so bad that you'd defy Satan? (Aziraphale agrees lol.)

Shax has Mr. Brown-level fantasies about where this could go. Crowley was a favorite of Satan's and she can bring him back into the fold. She can heal him. Yeah, this lady demon has gone and got herself one of those 'I can fix him' disaster scenarios. She hates this for her too but she can't help it. He's so sexy. She's been in Hell for a long time. She's sleeping in the bed and showering in the tropical rainforest paradise dream shower of Asmodeus himself, ok?

She's undoubtedly tried to get him to stay. She's so offered for him to live with her in secret and Crowley nearly choked on the air he doesn't need to breathe trying not to laugh at the irony of that one. It's not Shax's fault that he's just not that into her. She's a bad bitch and everything. That's just not his thing. He's just the lonely GI who basically fell asleep during a performance of The Ladies of Camelot. He has always given off the impression that he's into everything there is to sell the whole 'demon of lust' thing but he's really not. Shax doesn't know that, though, because to know that is to know Crowley well and Shax does not.

Does Crowley know that Shax is into him? Yeah, he does.

Shax's thing for him is basically the same thing as when Crowley tries to make a phone call after having taken out the mobile phone network for miles. It's the oh, shit, right, that thing I did that's now fucking up my day in the present... He didn't lead her on specifically as much as he just gave off the vibe in general that he's this debauched, wild, so very wicked demon and, well... if your name is Aziraphale, that's not terribly inaccurate lol... but if it's not, then it's actually not true at all...

...and this is why Shax cannot for the fucking life of her figure out what the deal is with Crowley and this angel.

Yes, Shax is trying to goad Aziraphale into confirming that he has Gabriel in this scene but this scene also comes off as Shax so incredibly done with how jealous she is over this, in her eyes, ridiculous being, and she's bitchy as all fuck about it. There were other ways to crack at Aziraphale than over his relationship with Crowley and she goes at that hard. She calls The Bentley an old piece of junk when she's really clearly calling Aziraphale that and saying that she doesn't know why Crowley hasn't gotten "an upgrade" since, implying that she considers herself just the upgrade Crowley needs. She brings up 1941 via the rumors that she heard "80, 90 years ago" that Crowley and Aziraphale were "an item", which we know are at least partially derived from what happened with Furfur, who his Shax's closest friend and totally has tried to tell her that this thing she has for Crowley is hopeless because he's doing that angel, Shax. (Poor, pining Furfur lol.)

Shax knows somewhere that Furfur is probably correct but she's decided to pretend that it's Furfur's thing for her that could have caused him to misconstrue at least part of it, right, because the demon of lust only having eyes for one being, let alone that being being this angel, is absurd to her (even if she thinks she can tame him lol.)

Aziraphale is an angel, for one thing. The bastards who did this to The Fallen and who cast their Master to Hell. Their sworn, hereditary enemy. It was one thing when maybe the angel was a dalliance. Asmodeus, lonely and bored on Earth, tired of all the sex with the mortals, and so very bad that he could corrupt an angel. That's a little hot, actually, if you're Shax, but it's the fact that that... does not appear to be what this relationship is... that unsettles her.

During S2, Shax learns that Crowley has a permanent invite into and keys to the bookshop and that Aziraphale can drive Crowley's car to an extent that Shax even has to trick him to allow her to enter it. The angel really seems like he might be Crowley's partner, which would mean that this wasn't Crowley fucking an angel on a whim in 1941 but that Hell's wild prince of lust has actually secretly been in a romantic relationship with Aziraphale for at least, to Shax's knowledge, almost a century.

The purported baddest demon that ever demoned, shy of the literal devil, is apparently mad for this fusty angel and Shax just cannot get it, ok?

Crowley is a a broody, black-clad rock star and Aziraphale is this twee little bookselling angel to her. Shax thinks maybe this was all part of Crowley's breakdown or something and she's Mr. Brown so she hasn't given up hope here, not for most of S2, but she's mostly been trying to figure out how to get Crowley's attention and that's the funniest part of her whole pash, imo.

Shax has no idea what Crowley is into. She can't figure this out to save her life.

She has no idea that it's over before it started because she is just not what primes the engine of Crowley's star factory over here. It's not personal. He just doesn't have a shred of sexual interest in her. Gabriel is getting more action from Crowley this season and he tried to murder him lol. Crowley's spent millennia cultivating a persona of a sex god and now he's got to live with it and he's just praying he never finds out anything she's fantasizing about him because he shudders at the thought of whatever she envisions them getting up to.

Look at what Shax is wearing when she comes to Earth to meet with Crowley, for one of the more hilarious things...

In Hell, Shax wears modern clothes. When she comes to Earth to meet Crowley in the year 2023, she wears a vintage-inspired outfit that is spanning the mid-1930s through WW2 in style (the era she knows he was involved with Aziraphale, who is her main point of reference for what attracts Asmodeus over here lol)... and the dress has the biggest damn bow ever seen. You could see that bow from space. It's like she's trying desperately to figure out what turns Crowley on and so far she's come up with well, he drives an old car and he's rolled that angel so he likes... old things... vintage clothes, like the angel's. She's trying to out-bow-tie Aziraphale.

Now that Shax can spend time with Crowley alone and the possibility of seducing him is ever-present (lolololol), she's spending time trying to figure out what turns on the prince of lust. She's trying to get Crowley's demonically lustful attention and she's reduced to bow ties, okay, take pity on her... she's just like I don't know what his deal with these are, exactly, as it seems kind of specific... but he can unwrap me anytime if that's his thing...

Then, there's that she's sitting too close to him on the park bench and raking her eyes over him while he's sprawling on it. He's not sprawling in a way meant to be enticing. He's actually mid-existential crisis here but that's fine by Shax. She likes 'em a little dark.

My favorite, though, is a scene that actually parallels S1 in a hilarious way and that's from the hot water boiler scene in the other meta that prompted the ask here but isn't a bit that I mentioned in that one.

As Crowley goes back into the bookshop (and he'd never been happier to be on the other side of that threshold in his life lol), Shax is then as physically close to him as she's ever been. If you notice, she actually inhales twice. The first is a regular breath-- which demons don't technically need to take but yeah lol-- and her expression is all oh Satan, he smells amazing and then she straight up sniffs the air as he opens the door. Girl is huffing her fill over here for those shower fantasies for months to come lol. Crowley knows it as his eyebrows are in his hair as he's turning back around like he's all did she seriously just *sniff* me? ugh...

Shax knows Crowley saw her (honestly, probably also *heard* her... Shax, love, a little subtlety wouldn't kill you...) so she covers it up by pretending like she smelled Gabriel in the bookshop. You smelled the archangel in there, huh, Shax? When you can't get through the door? When Gabriel is the same species as Aziraphale, whose bookshop this is, so this can't be some kind of angel-scent you're claiming you noticed here? lol This then parallels and adds to this Sandalphon scene in S1:

I know there's some debate about if there's such thing as an angelic or a demonic smell but I've actually always taken it to be that there isn't. It would seem to me that it would be hard for them to blend in on Earth if there was and if the demonic one was something off-putting to humans, at least. I think most of us, though, do believe that the "evil" Sandalphon is smelling in the backroom is Crowley but considering that the comment comes from Sandalphon, who is introduced to us with reference to his smiting of people in Sodom and Gomorrah, it honestly just comes off that Sandalphon is a raging homophobe and I've actually always taken that as the reason why Gabriel is here in this scene in the first place.

Absolutely nothing happens in this scene. It's a routine checkup. What is the Supreme Archangel of Heaven doing there? Why is he blowing so much smoke up Sandalphon's ass the whole time? It's kind of like he saw that Michael or someone had assigned Sandalphon to do a checkup of sorts on Aziraphale-- or Sandalphon had assigned himself-- and Gabriel pretended that he wanted to see in person how "the great Sandalphon" worked so that he could tag along and make sure that Sandalphon didn't bother Aziraphale. We also learn that Aziraphale hasn't seen Sandalphon in a long time and I'd bet that Gabriel is responsible for that. Gabriel's 'whatever, idgaf' response to Aziraphale's Jeffrey Archer books comment is so... Gabriel hadn't the first clue who Jeffrey Archer is or why his books would be evil lol. He could have easily further encouraged Sandalphon's pursuit of the "evil" scent. He didn't because he could care less what Aziraphale does in the backroom of his bookshop. If anything, he's jealous of him for having found a way to have some freedom and privacy. Gabriel is queer-- he is like Aziraphale. He's just closeted in S1. He's looking out for Aziraphale here by using his power to shut down Sandalphon and then "you can't have a war without war omg wow you are a poet!" him out of there as fast as is possible. If there truly was an 'evil'/'demonic' smell, Gabriel should have been able to smell it, too, and he doesn't. If he did, he wouldn't have been able to subtly shut down Sandalphon the way he did.

So, Sandalphon isn't smelling a demon. He's smelling another man. The "evil" is that Sandalphon can smell remnants of another cologne that isn't Aziraphale's in the backroom of Aziraphale's bookshop and Sandalphon is a homophobe, so he's implying that Aziraphale having sex and with a man is 'evil', even if there's no direct evidence here of that, just the implication of it.

This then would mean that Shax can't actually smell Gabriel in the bookshop in S2. Like Sandalphon, she's pretending to have a supernatural sense of scent but she's really just smelling Crowley. While Sandalphon was repulsed by the idea of Aziraphale's bookshop backroom having the scent of a man, Shax is just inhaling that same being's scent because omfg. so. good....

...something she can't stand that she has in common with that bastard angel, Aziraphale, who is actually allowed to breathe Crowley in anytime he wants... it's just ridiculous to her. Why the fuck does that beige bookseller get to have the sex god of Shax's dreams in his bed and she doesn't? What could Crowley possibly find attractive about him? That she doesn't know and can't really figure it out shows how little she really knows Crowley and also how little imagination she really has.

#ineffable husbands #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omens 2 #good omens meta #aziracrow #good omens shax #shax good omens #shax #archangel fucking gabriel #sandalphon #mr brown #of brown's world of carpets

[jazeswhbhaven]

Could I request where the kings+ Lucifer (and maybe the seraphims too?) have an s/o who is just like deeply in love with them? Their s/o just can't describe it in words, they can't fully show it in actions no matter how tight their hug is to the kings, but it's always seen in their eyes that they do in fact love the kings.

Everytime their s/o is talking to someone or some devil, they're just there. They do listen, but they don't smile. If they do, it's just a polite, little smile, but that's it. BUT, when it comes to them, suddenly their s/o's smile widens and their cheeks turn into this slight rosy pink color and their eyes especially shows how happy they are. Their s/o's eyes when they smile, they have this smile where their eyes smiles along with their lips (I think it's called eye smile, I'm not so sure).

Sometimes they even get caught where there's someone talking and their s/o is just paying attention to them and to their features. Their s/o just looks at them with heart eyes at this point 😭

So sorry if this request doesn't make much sense!!

Awh sounds like their s/o is their number one fan <3 (thank you for your patience!!) Let's start with the seraphim, because hopefully in a perfect AU, they'd actually care about their s/o's. Michael: Normally, he doesn't care about anyone or anything in Heaven other than God, but since he's left...he's been anxious and stand-offish. But when he goes to Earth to visit his s/o he's calm, he doesn't even cry as much. He loves to see the look on their face when he enters the room, how happy they look, how their eyes light up and their arms reach out toward him. "I've been waiting for you" is their normal greeting. He loves it more than he's willing to admit. He's a bit possessive of those faces that they make, so he doesn't want to share them, they all belong to him. They're happy to see him, to love him. All that's what he'll take.

Gabriel: No one is above God, not even himself. But there is one person who he cares to see often. Their devotion to living as close to Godly as they can, and how they wish for God's return for his sake. Gabe is unfamiliar with how much his s/o pines for him. He tries his best to acknowledge their admiration, the way that they smile, laugh, and always mention him even to others with such a dazed expression it's clear that they're obsessed. Even though it's a learning curve for this one-track-minded angel, he wants his s/o to keep showing this amount of energy toward him, that way maybe together his and their love can bring back God.

Raphael: Surprisingly, you'd think that this angel would be disgusted by having an s/o but somewhere along the way, his mind changed. He visits them often, he's pining just as much as they are. He doesn't show it when he's in Heaven, still off-putting, a pain in the ass to be around. But with his s/o? They're melting into each other, he wants them to make those faces when he arrives, the same way, each time. In intimacy, he wants to see their blushing face, the way they say his name, everything fuels him more and more. "So this is what it's like to be loved..."

Now for our demon bois!!! <3 <3

Satan: There's nothing he loves more than his s/o only having certain reactions and emotions toward him. He encourages this each time and makes it worse by teasing them lightly, saying how much he loves it when they make that 'face' or how they blush when they see him. "Do I work you up that much?" And he know he does. When he sees his s/o being uninterested when talking with other devils he feels a sense of pride and an ego boost.

Mammon: He drinks up this behavior from his s/o so much he's always overfilled with joy himself when he sees them. His favorite thing is when his s/o is casually speaking to one of his nobles and he just happens to pass by and they immediately stop talking and rush to him to hug him and say they miss him and hurry and finish his work. Every time that happens, he finds a way to finish up everything or just scoops up his s/o and takes them with him and they're amazed by everything he does.

Beelzebub: If you thought Amon was the biggest Beel simp, make way for his s/o. They may not have little trinkets or posters of him, but they have him. The real deal! Sometimes, they'll even put themselves into situations so he appears, always saying "I just wanted to see you, I miss you." Beel loves this about them, and to the point where he starts staying behind in Avisos more often. And when he's not there, no one is free from his s/o blabbing about him all the time. In fact, Amon hangs around them pretty much all the time to hear more stories about Beel and what his s/o likes about him.

Leviathan: Oh, he loves the fuck out of his s/o because all they do is talk about him. No one is Hades is free from his s/o's rambles. They run errands for him, and could be held up in the store in hours explaining why they chose a pair of socks for Levi. They stitch his name in them too when they get home, they stare at him quite often and blush when he catches them staring. He used to stare at them blankly, but now he smirks and walks away, knowing they're still staring at him in awe as he does.

Lucifer: This kind of love is foreign to him, and he doesn't think much of it when his s/o dotes on him like they do. They're always wrapping up his bloodied wings, or making sure his fangs and horn are tip-top in shape. They often bring Morax and Marbas around to check up on his other areas of health out of worry when he's just fine. He doesn't feel lonely anymore with his s/o's presence, even when they're not in the same room, he can hear them speaking about how much they love him and are lucky to be his. Almost makes him want to cry...almost.

#whb #jwhbasks❓ #whb beelzebub #whb leviathan #whb satan #whb mammon #whb kings👑 #whb lucifer #whb gabriel #whb raphael #whb michael #they have an s/o that loves them so much it's crazy

[skyeslittlecorner]

Asmodeus brainrot

I'm looking forward to Asmo more and more, and even though I know what he looks like in Love Unholic, I can't wait for him to appear where he belongs.

Phenix's chats

Asmo you monster, how dare you wear clothes, you should take them off immediately! *sets the camera*

Btw. Phenix. Calm down. He just wears a sheet. And he looks better in it than anyone in designer clothes.

Jokes aside for a moment. Avisos and Abaddon seems to be the safest places in Hell (in the context of an angelic invasion, of course). Avisos doesn't need angels to be in constant chaos, and Abaddon doesn't even need devils. Their king is enough.

In fact, we know from the comics that angels are actually afraid of Asmodeus' devils. So what about him himself? It's a theory, but Asmo may be the most powerful among the seven sins. If his mere presence has this effect on others, he doesn't even need to bother picking up a weapon. Everyone around will go crazy. Just approach and stab. Death. The end.

Offtop: in the context of a unit, it reminds me of Genshin and wondering how powerful the archon of Natlan will be since Bennet is a god himself. After seeing how powerful Ronove is, it can be a similar case.

Ronove's chats

This may refer to Love Unholic, but I haven't played it, so I don't know. That in itself is interesting, and the most interesting part is the last two sentences:

So far, the nobles were either delighted that we were choosing their kings (usually) or wanted to cause mischief (like Foras playfully suggesting that we should meet without telling Leviathan), I also saw Satan warning us about Beel (but knowing him, it's probably out of jealousy).

This seems like a sincere warning. We are warned by the devil who is fascinated by amputations, even if it's just a statement of fact rather than a suggestion that we should run away. Asmo, are you really gonna make a salad from our brain? Go on, I'm in for it-

Loading comics

It seems that Asmo's energy depends on what he does. And Phenix is like a meter. The better the king's time, the worse it will be with this boy. Interestingly, Dantalian doesn't look like his aura affects him that much.

Dantalian's chats

We reach my favorite point of the program. No more mystical powerful king, welcome to an overwhelmed dad with three obnoxious children.

You know Dantalian. Asmo would had to grab him by the collar like a puppy, drag him behind him and put him in a cage to stop him. All his smugness evaporated and turned into irritation.

AND THIS.

Ronove's artifact

If Asmo wants to teach someone dignity, it must be a terrible case. I see how all methods failed and he just shoved it in his Ronove's mouth and gave up completly. He sounds so done here lmao

In summary - it looks like Asmo will be a powerful, terrifying demon whose mere presence will drill a hole in your brain.

Then, his boys show up. And this intimidating demon turns into a tired father.

I can see him gossiping with Bael, two of the most chaotic countries are ruled by single parents lol

Can't wait.

PS. If you like this kind of analysis here is another part:

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb asmodeus #whb ronove #whb phenix #whb dantalian

[midnight-vixn]

Could you do a love bites hcs for the dateables too pls? I loved the brothers version<3

Ask and ye shall receive!! I think I’m slowly getting better with the dateables…maybe. Brothers here

Love Bites ~ Dateables version

Diavolo:

Dia is overly touch starved so to say he gets caught up in the moment is an understatement. The prince absolutely loves when you bite and suck on his neck but he’s a little timid to return the favor, afraid that he’ll get too worked up and hurt you somehow. Once you finally convince him it’s okay he’ll leave soft but firm bites on the base of your neck and trail them all the way up to your ear. He’s too afraid of Barbatos and Lucifer seeing them and getting in trouble so he leaves his big marks on your stomach and chest. His favorite places for you to bite though is on his chest or his inner thighs, he’ll run his fingers across his shirt or pants while in his office just to feel the indents in his skin…and get worked up in the process.

Barbatos:

Barbatos is a true gentleman of a demon, he only bites if you want him to and will only bite as hard as you give him permission to. If you allow him to he’ll make sure to leave his fang marks all over your body, so long as it can be covered at RAD. Barbs is also not afraid to draw a little blood if that’s what you’re in to, he praises you the entire time and will kiss those marks each time he gets you alone until they heal. It’s not often the two of you get alone time so he makes sure to give you exactly what you want when you do, even if it’s just you leaving marks on him while his hands are tied together.

Solomon:

One of the ones who doesn’t care who sees the marks he leaves, if it’s a spot that makes you moan and writhe then he’s bitting as hard as he can. Solomon is a tease though, he’ll kiss and lick at the spot for ever making you whine and beg…which is exactly what he wants. Once he thinks your mind is fogged up enough, he’ll bite down sharp and fast, he loves the way you react and can’t help but rut his erection against you or the mattress while he continues to leave you covered in his marks. Solomon definitely doesn’t try to hide them but he can’t help but feel proud when Lucifer spots one on you and gives him a look.

Simeon:

Our sweet angel is the most nervous out of the group to bite you. He doesn’t quite understand why you would want him to do that, but he lives to please you so he’ll try it anyway. His bites are soft and gentle and that makes them all the more erotic, he looks to you for reassurance after each bite wanting to make sure you’re not hurt. The day you decided to return the favor while making out was when Simeon suddenly understood why you loved biting so much. The sound he made was a mix between a moan and a scream of pleasure, his hand grabbing onto your head and pulling you closer to his neck encouraging you to bite again. After this he’s much more willing to bite but still makes sure they won’t be seen by others, he would feel ashamed if Lucifer or Diavolo saw them but he would die instantly if a certain little angel caught sight.

✨Bonus✨

Mephistopheles:

Possibly an even bigger brat about this than Belphie. Mephisto takes any opportunity he can get to pull you into an empty room at RAD for a messy and handsy make out session but once biting gets involved it happens even more! He’ll drag his fangs across your neck, whispering filth into your ear as he does, and bite down harshly each time he degrades you. He’ll strategically place his marks where no one but Lucifer would see, he makes sure to bite the fire out of that disgusting pact mark of his as well. If confronted by the Avatar of Pride about it later his only response will be “would you like to see the matching ones they left behind?” before giving a shit eating grin as Lucifer storms out.

#obey me smut #obey me diavolo smut #obey me barbatos smut #obey me solomon smut #obey me simeon smut #obey me mephisto smut

[the-ineffable-dance]

A Companion to Owls is my favorite of the minisodes. Possibly my favorite story in the whole show. But more than it being just good fun and visually amazing, (plus, it gives us Bildad the Shuhite, I mean, come on..)

Job's story, really, is the beginning of "our side."

Before the Job story, Aziraphale and Crowley of course know each other, but I think it's still been a bit of feeling each other out. No one has really put themselves out where they could get into trouble. There's the chat on the walls of Eden, and then again at the Flood. In both of those, Crowley does a little pushing of Aziraphale's boundaries, but Aziraphale, regardless of his internal struggle, outwardly toes the party line... Heaven's plans, no matter how they might look, are in fact ineffable.

In Job, we see for the first time that they are beginning to really see each other. Aziraphale knows that Crowley doesn't want to kill off Job's goats or his children.

Though, of course, he's got to be a little smug about it.

And even when Crowley puts that to the test when he's setting the house on fire, Aziraphale remains confident in Crowley's innate goodness. And is again proven right when Crowley miracles them all into the cellar.

Crowley, for his part, knows that Aziraphale is starting to question the ineffable plan. God and Satan making bets, letting Job be tormented by demons, killing children... he sees the questions that Aziraphale is starting to have, and eases the path for him by being receptive to those questions.

Here we also have the start of Aziraphale's hedonism and love of human things. He's not quite ready to take the step of drinking alcohol, but he does accept Crowley's temptation to eating... and realizes that he's starving. It's his first bite in his entire existence, and he eats an entire ox! It's a small step from there to other things that we see him loving in the present... wine, music, books, clothes (I'm looking at you, 1793), all the things the other angels look down on him for, and Crowley probably introduced him to.

In 1941, they have the exchange, "You told me to trust you." "And you did." But I think that we have that here, too... for the very first time. When Sitis and Job are told that their children are dead, Aziraphale and Crowley put on quite the show with their cobbler/midwife and angel straight man performance. It's actually quite impressive... every time one of them leans on the other to keep up the charade, the other obliges...

It's important to remember just how dangerous this dance is for both of them. First of all, Crowley could not be in a worse place. Not only is there a host of angels here, Gabriel the Supreme Archangel is in the lead. To find a demon here, interfering in the ineffable plan, would certainly end in a smiting. His cleverness and the trust of Aziraphale are the only things that keep him one step ahead.

Secondly, Aziraphale himself is in great danger. Not only has he been collaborating with a demon, tempted into eating, and so on, but he is lying to Gabriel's face. We've seen him lie before. Most memorably to God when she asked where his sword went. But those were little white lies, with few ramifications. "These are his new children" is a direct contradiction to what the Plan is. He is for the first time, turning from the Heavenly Plan, and instead throwing in his lot with Crowley.

Which brings me to my final point...

Aziraphale is terrified of falling. But he was willing to do it to save the children. And that is something that means a lot to Crowley. When he realizes that Aziraphale thinks he's already fallen, he does tease him a little bit, but more importantly, he is soft and kind, talking him through this huge change in worldview.

The most touching moment is when Crowley admits that this path he is walking and Aziraphale now finds himself on is lonely. Crowley has been feeling it since the Garden... but now, it will be less lonely. Aziraphale doesn't have to face it alone, because Crowley will be there, too. Now, they have "us."

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #good omens 2 #bildad the shuhite #good omens meta #anthony j crowley #aziraphale loves crowley #crowley loves aziraphale

[laurashapiro-noreally]

Looking for something to read?

Oh look, it's another recs post! This time I'm featuring two stories per author. These are writers I always make time for, whose work stands out as unusually hot, clever, funny, or smart -- sometimes all of the above.

I'm gonna start you out strong with two by @werpiper: After Hours takes Aziraphale and Crowley to the baths after their oyster supper, and all sorts of interesting pleasures are there for our angel to sample. Piper's Crowley is one of my favorites: always evaluating the situation, not quite aware of what his own heart is doing but feeling it anyway.

Fitting In is a new story, still a WIP, but I am utterly tantalized by Muriel's first taste of love -- and tea. This is already rich in detail, soft and fragrant, and I can hardly wait for the action to get going in earnest. The pairing seems surprising but when you think about it for ten seconds of course it makes sense. Sex workers help the curious, the awkward, and the inexperienced every day, bless them.

If you enjoy these, check out @werpiper's back catalog -- they have done a ton of ineffables-through-the-ages, and their series Miracles and Heresy is worth many delightful hours of your time.

I love what @copperplatebeech has been doing lately:

He's Not My Friend is a T-rated story that explores Aziraphale's constant refusal to acknowledge his relationship with Crowley, and Crowley's mirror of that, and how things glacially shift over time. It is subtle and yet specific, it will make you ache and smile.

All Of The Above, also T-rated, is a warm and fuzzy alternative to that, a hilarious celebration of true friendship that made me laugh out loud and still got me right in the feels.

@copperplatebeech can do everything, from quiet, gentle, and romantic to devastating plotty AUs to extraordinarily horny established relationship to absolutely ridiculous humor. Do dive in if you haven't already.

Next up, @cumaeansibyl, master of kink:

better living through technology manages to shove everything I want in a dirty story into less than three thousand words: uptight Aziraphale reduced to sodden wreck, Crowley gleefully showing him what he's been missing, character-driven erotics, and exceptionally funny dialogue.

indulgentiam peccatorum nostrorum is somehow all that and more, turning the "I was wrong" dance into a kink (something I can't get enough of, recs welcome). This one is post-Bastille so it is extra-juicy. Mind the tags!

@cumaeansibyl has a gift for established relationship one-shots, which readers of mine will know are my entire jam. They also have a mind-meltingly hot inverse!omens AU that features different variations of angelic/demonic Crowleys and Aziraphales for our ineffables to play with.

A new-to-me author, Calico, has me hanging by a thread with their Ineffable Romans series. If you want to remember that your ineffables aren't human, that they are inordinately clever but very stupid, that the feelings they have for each other are truly beyond what anyone alive has ever felt, Calico may be the writer for you. This stuff is deep. Also hot af.

Sub Rosa reads like a nasty shag at Petronius', but there's so much more going on here. It is Extremely Queer, driven by power dynamics, and Crowley is fully demonic here and absolutely in control...or is he?

The Intemperance of Liber Pater continues on this theme, with dialogue-driven smut that reads less like a seduction than an inevitability. There's another story in this series, unfinished, and I can't wait to see what happens next.

Last but not least: two short pieces by @ineffabildaddy. I stumbled on their stories just this week and I absolutely love their approach, which I've not seen done quite this way before.

take me as your wife has a tight first-person perspective as Crowley meets Aziraphale for a meal and imagines (or is it his imagination?) that Aziraphale is suggesting Certain Things about how they might occupy themselves later. Indeed, is he suggesting even more? Something about their relationship? Or is it all in Crowley's head?

Only in Dreams is kind of a companion piece, from Aziraphale's point of view -- though hundreds of years later. This one's set after the events of S2 and although just as romantic as take me as your wife, it also offers an ineffable take on the ol' glory hole concept. Just in case you thought I was getting soft. 😏

@ineffabildaddy has a whole series of poems and ficlets like these and I can't wait to explore them all.

#good omens #fic recs #good omens fic recs #ineffable husbands #ineffable partners #ineffable spouses #ineffable divorce #smut #fanfiction #fanfic #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #rare pair #muriel