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#but anyways would u guys be interested to see ?? (I may just post it anyway - not rn tho)
honkytonk-hangman · 8 months
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Good In Bed
Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Reader
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Summary: Jake has made it crystal clear to you that you're only friends with benefits, so why did he go and delete your dating apps?
Warnings: brief mentions of smut but not smutty, jake kinda being an asshole, reader getting upset and yelling at him, fluff ending all the way baybay
Notes: u have no clue how much i love u @roleycoleyland for literally being the reason this got finished &lt;;3 <;3 <3 title from Good In Bed by Dua Lipa <3
Masterlist
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Jake pumps his hips hard into yours one final time, before he at last collapses beside you, chest sweaty and heaving, his eyes closed and his face raised to the ceiling. Your position had shifted from the pure force of your fucking, and somehow your head had fallen off the side of his bed, leaving you hanging slightly as you too try to catch your breath.
“Damn, I’ve missed this,” he says a short time later, shifting himself fully out from between your legs, and tucking his hands behind his head, the afterglow of a good lay lingering on him beautifully. Once upon a time his words might’ve sparked pride or even joy, but now they’re just one more cut that stings painfully before being swallowed up. You note sourly he doesn’t say he’s missed you, despite the fact he’s been gone ten weeks now, and against your better judgement you missed him.
You lay there on his bed in the late evening and regret every moment that led you to this point. You shouldn't have picked up when he called tonight, you shouldn't have come over for drinks, and you definitely shouldn't have had sex with him again.
It’s not that Jake isn't a nice guy, well, he isn’t always, but for the most part he was a mile more decent than most of the guys you’d actually dated in the past. From the start he was straightforward and blunt with you about what this thing between you would be, how much he was offering you, and to his credit, he rarely seemed to step outside of that. And like an idiot, you’d gone and gotten feelings for him anyway.
You should have stopped seeing him long before his most recent deployment, and you shouldn't have been there the night before he left for him to hit you with another straightforward and blunt assertion that you were only fuck buddies, nothing more.
The thing is, you and Jake got on well, so well in fact most people assumed that you were an item, and at this point maybe you were blinded by your feelings, but you couldn’t exactly see why you shouldn't be, aside form the fact that Jake didn’t seem to be interested in any sort of commitment, despite what that offered was basically what you had now, only he didn’t have to go out of his way to break your heart once a week.
After the last time, before he’d left for ten weeks, you’d sworn off him for good. You put his name in your phone as ‘DO NOT CALL’, you downloaded a few dating apps, you’d even been on a few dates… and then Jake had sauntered back into your life, invited you over for the night and just like none of your progress existed in the first place, you’d come at his beck and call.
You lay there feeling pathetic as it sinks in what you’ve done, but swallow back your emotions for now. You were an adult, you chose to do this with him tonight, you knew what it would do. Warm fingers make you jump as they wrap around your wrist, and you glance up to watch as Jake effortlessly tugs you back onto the bed, closer to him, never letting his hand leave your skin as he releases you to skim his fingers up and over your shoulder, drawing you even closer until you’re almost cuddling. You nearly pull away.
Jake wasn’t a post-sex cuddler, not really anyway. Aftercare? No problem, but this wasn’t exactly the sort of session that required aftercare, so you’re more than a little surprised by his continued affections, staying still as he curls himself onto his side to face you, hand dropping to grab at your thigh, which he hikes over his, as if this was something you normally did.
“You may need to give me a few before we go again,” you tell him, realising this position was probably just him gearing up for round two. Jake peeks an eye open at you, and lifts an eyebrow as though what you’ve said is very funny.
“I don’t think I’ve got more to give tonight,” he says, adjusting your leg around him again, pulling you in even more. You refrain from frowning, if only to avoid explaining to him why. Jake closes his eyes again and lets out a contented sigh. His hand stays curled around your leg, though he begins rhythmically smoothing his thumb back and forth over your skin after a few moments, and you begin to wonder at what point he’s going to withdraw from you like he usually does.
Luckily you’re saved from the dreaded wait, your phone buzzing loud and distractingly. You use it as the perfect excuse to extract yourself from him, instead moving to a sitting up cross-legged position as you reach for your phone, and draw the screen closer to your chest when you see who it’s from. Jake seems only a little disgruntled by your movement, though gets over it quickly, replacing his hand almost exactly where it once was around your thigh.
“What's going on?” he asks casually, eyes closed again as you tap out a reply. You spare him half a glance, but don’t feel much point in lying to him about things, seeing as he’d never done so with you.
“Just this guy I met on Tinder a while back.” you tell him lightly, completely missing how his eyes pop open immediately and he stares up at you with an unreadable expression.
“You’re on Tinder?” he asks, voice blank, finally making you look down at him properly. You blink and shrug, before going back to your phone.
“Sure, I mean, I don’t know how else to meet people these days, I kinda don’t get out much when Dagger’s not around,” you inform him, shifting in your place slightly as he withdraws his hand from your thigh to lay over his sternum instead.
Feeling the mood shift, but unsure as to why, you force out a laugh and shrug.
“It’s been sorta nice, trying to get back out there again properly, not just, you know, settling or whatever.” that makes Jake react clearly, frowning at you while pushing himself into an upright position. “Settling?!” he repeats, though it’s not really a question. You stare at him in confusion.
“I don’t know, I guess I’m getting past the point in my life where I wanna be doing this,” you getsure between the two of you. “All the time.”
Jake blinks at you in clear offence, before quickly his entire demeanour seems to change all at once, and his expression falls into a somewhat familiar cocky grin.
“Alright, I get it,” he says, only further confusing you and you’re caught off guard enough that when he reaches out and plucks your phone from your hands, you don’t have time to react.
“Hey! Jake!” you protest, suddenly a little panicked as he very easily plays keep-away from you, using one of his hands to do something on your screen, while the other easily bats away you various attempts to swipe your phone back.
“You don’t need any of this shit, alright?” Jake tells you almost condescendingly.
“Jake!” you warn, your voice growing less calm by the moment.
“There, gone. Deleted.” he says proudly, before at last turning your phone screen around to face you, and letting you take it back off him, which you do hurriedly, snatching it away and standing up from the bed.
“What the fuck?!” you demand, looking agape between your now tinder-less phone, and Jake. The blond looks more relaxed now, and all of a sudden any thought of keeping your brooding and your feelings to yourself goes out the window. Your eyes prickle.
“What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you do that?!” you shout. Jake has the smarts to at least drop his smug grin, but now he stares up at you in even more annoying surprise.
“I was just–” he starts, but you don’t even care what he has to say anymore.
“You don’t get to leave for ten weeks after, especially after reminding me that you don’t want me, and then just show up again and ruin my chances at finding someone who actually does!” your raised voice wobbles, and you don’t bother trying to hide your sniffling as you continue to lay into him. “That’s not fair! You’re being unfair!” you cry. “How many girls did you take home while you were away, huh?”
Jake blinks at you, a shade of indignance colouring his features now.
“None.” he tells you, but you can only scoff.
“Right. And how many did you flirt with? How many did you buy drinks for?” he stays silent at those questions, either not wanting to answer or no longer seeing the point in the face of your tirade. You stare at him until your eyesight blurs completely before at last you reel back from him.
Gasping a little at the state you’ve worked yourself into, you turn half away from him and wipe desperately at your eyes.
“Baby–” Jake starts, his fingers brushing your wrist, but you jerk away this time, pulling your hand and your phone to your chest.
“I need to go. I shouldn’t have come,” you tell him, collecting your clothes quickly before escaping into his bathroom.
You can't help but feel a little pathetic as you cry harder once you’re in the relative privacy of his ensuite, a strange but familiar disappointment lancing through you when he doesn't come after you. However upon swinging the door back open once you’re dressed, you find Jake standing in front of his bed, sweatpants now fastened around his hips, and a determined expression on his features.
“I’m not letting you leave like this,” he tells you firmly, as if he has any say in what you do. You scoff at him, but don’t cover up your still dripping eyes. If anything, his resolve seems to strengthen.
“Look, be pissed at me, I deserve it, but I’m not letting you drive home when you’ve been drinking,” his voice leaves little room for argument, and even though in the back of your mind you know he’s actually being the decent version of himself right now, you can’t help but snarl at him in disgust.
“Fine! Then I’ll call an uber. I’m not staying here.'' You're aware you sound a little childish, and you feel a small pang of regret when Jake’s face flashes with hurt that is quickly covered up by sternness. Going against all the signs you’re putting out to him right now, Jake moves forward and stops your movements to find your shoes by laying both hands on your shoulders. When you look up at him, eyes still blinking away tears, he seems sincere and pleading.
“Just… just stay here, I’ll sleep in the lounge, alright? Just don’t go home like this.”
You want to snap at him that he has no right to ask that of you, but somehow you think he already knows that, and is still asking anyway. You realise dully, that just like you always wanted, Jake was chasing you now, though, you aren’t sure you really want it anymore.
“I wasn’t trying to upset you–” he cuts himself off, just as you shrug out of his hold.
“Please do not talk to me right now.” is all you can manage by way of agreeing to his terms.
You can barely bring yourself to look at him as he goes about collecting up his pillow and a spare blanket, and a part of you feels cruel, but the bigger part of you is proud that you’ve finally put your foot down. Maybe at some other time you’d let him talk, but right now all you can think about or hear is every moment prior to this night when he’s hurt you.
You’d hoped you’d at least be able to fall asleep somewhat fast, but the longer you lay there, the longer you go over and over every little detail of your night until you find yourself downstairs, wrapped up in the throw blanket from Jake’s bed, and standing a few feet away from him on the couch. He sits up immediately when he noticed you, chucking his phone down and focusing intently on you. You note he doesn’t open his mouth, or attempt to speak yet, and you almost regret telling him not to earlier.
You stare at one another hard, until you have to suppress a small hiccup, at which point you frustratedly wipe your face with the back of your hand and cross your arms in front of you.
“Why did you do that?” You ask, amazed your voice sounds as firm as it does. Jake stares up at you with a mixture of uncertainty and something you want to say is remorse but you can’t bring yourself to believe right now that he would be.
“I’m not good at this stu—”
“—No, tell me why you did it.” You cut him off, not willing to listen to his self-pity right now. Jake closes his mouth and blinks up at you, staring intently for a few moments before he shifts in his seat. “Did you miss me?” You prompt after he continues to stare, eyes somewhat pleading. You understand relationships and vulnerability are hard for him, you’re willing to give him this olive branch for now. To his credit, Jake immediately nods, his hands coming together across his spread thighs to wring anxiously.
“Yes. I’m sorry—”
“—If you ever try any of that shit again, I’m kicking your ass,” you tell him. Jake blinks, then straightens up, and nods again. Your lip wobbles and this time when he reaches a hand out for you, he doesn’t grab you, but waits for you to shuffle forward toward him before pulling you in.
He tugs you forward to come stand between his legs, and bows his forehead to rest against your abdomen, his hands anchored at your hips.
“I don’t want you to think I don’t want you,” Jake mumbles, loud enough for you to hear, and you know this is a big admission for him.
“I know it probably doesn’t feel like it, but you can just, you know, tell me that…” you reply, letting your hands fall into his hair where you begin to smooth down some of the mess you made of it earlier. “I want you,” you say, realising while he may subconsciously know that, you’ve also never told him before. “I would never have let you mess me around if I didn’t,” you add with a short laugh, and flick his ear gently. Jake huffs, and lifts his head so he’s looking up at you now, chin resting on your belly.
“I don’t want you to date anyone else. I should have told you that back when I realised it…” he says softly, looking for the first time since you’ve known him like holding your eye contact is uncomfortable for him. “Is that okay?” He asks even quieter.
“Only if you don’t half ass it,” you peer down at him with playful scepticism.
Jake’s fingers at your hips tighten and his eyes narrow.
“I don’t half-ass anything,” he tells you sourly, before making a face. “Tonight notwithstanding.” he adds after a moment. You can’t help it then, you chortle, and hold the sides of his face. Jake smiles, seemingly proud of himself for making you laugh, and he adjusts his hold on you, moving his hands down to tug you into him, so your knees buckle and you’re forced to catch yourself on his shoulders just as he manoeuvres you to sit on his thigh.
“I’m sorry,” he says, far more seriously, leaning his forehead against yours now that you’re face to face. You cup his cheeks again, and dip forward to press a chaste kiss to his lips.
“You will be out on the curb so fast if you fuck me around again,” you tell him cheerfully, making him laugh this time.
“Noted,” he says, before he steals another kiss, longer this time.
When he pulls back at last, you feel yourself relax fully against him, and move to rest your head in the crook of his neck.
“Can we go to bed now?” he asks after a few seconds. You nod, stifling a suspiciously timed yawn, and yelp a little when he scoops your legs under his arm and stands, grinning smugly all the way back upstairs.
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inumakis-boo · 10 days
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May I have some dating Toge Inumaki headcanons? Both sfw and NSFW... If you're comfortable.
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TOGE INUMAKI ♫₊˚.🎧 ✧💬
headcanons 𓍢ִ˖ hello and thank you for the requests! i am current rediting all of my posts, so if this looks a little different than when you first saw it, thats the reason why!
anyways, i hope all of you enjoy! and if course, NSFW will be tagged and is written for a female perspective.
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safe for work headcanons
- would probably not notice each other the first time you meet, maybe an interested glance but it doesn't really hit until the second or third time that he really sees you
- probably asks for your number just so yall can talk better, and once you do, its an instant connection. he literally wouldnt be able to stop, staying up all night to text you
- texts you out of the blue, and although probably feels embarrassed to double text, he is just that interested in you
- would totally deliever a bag of goodies he bought at the store for you, and additionally maybe offer to make you a lunch to try before he makes it for everyone else
- you comment on one of his t-shirts he wears and he puts it in one of the goodie bags he buys you, doused in his cologne because he wants you to think of him
- would totally send annoying memes and tiktoks and bully you over text, also play 8-ball COMPETITIVELY cause he aint gonna lose to you (he doesnt even pity lose to you)
- shows up unannounced just to kiss you in the door frame of your dorm room as a goodnight and then leaves you there
- that is until you invite him over to your dorm at night and he brings post-it notes and teaches you his semi-bilingual language for easier understanding, and utterly loves you for it
- the talking stage would be him just pining over you cosntantly, writing it all down in journals or in his notes app
- after yall started dating, it is very much a no public affection mostly because he doesnt want anybody to be in your business. especially with his noisy ass friends
- but no matter what, he is going to hold your hand, especially when going on dates and walking around campus at night (would definitely talk u into sneaking out)
- he would be hesistant to kiss you even after yall became offical, probably go a few weeks before you just say it straight that you want him to kiss you and you dont even get it all out before hea pinning you to a door and giving you the best kiss of your life
- would absolutely use his speech on you so you cannot resist it when he tickles you or when you are beating him in a game
- he is not the sappiest guy, but if you start to get sappy over a movie or a sad book, he will rub your back and give you head-kisses to help you feel better
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below is not safe for work content. mdni.
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not safe for work headcanons
- you find out very quickly into the relationship that he cannot resist a challenge of any kind. therefore, using that to your advantage always works out
- challenging him through text to sneak out of his dorm will work, but ofc he wants a prize at the end (you are on your knees for the next hour)
- the benefit of his speech is that you don't feel any fatigue whatsoever during its use, so that makes it really easy to make your body endure while you deep-throat him over and over.
- it doesn't diminish the pleasure though; being told to stay still while he fondles your chest takes away nothing from the experience, and he knows how much you like having no choice.
- not that even if it was tiring, you wouldn't let him throat-fuck you, the noises he makes are heavenly for someone who can't speak straight, the struggle of watching him grip the bedframe and biting his lips so he doesn't utterly ruin you is SO worth a bruised throat.
- he might be nervous to use his speech on you the first time, but after you make sure that you can handle it, its becomes so much more confident in using it
- he loves making out with you, he loves making your lips red with all the biting, he wants to see them glossy and wet right before he puts his fingers in your mouth (you know where they are going next)
- sexting is so fun, yall thought it might be cringy, but its literally the best when he calls you with a command and he gets to listen to you whimper and moan as he jerks off to it, can be totally unexpected
- "Ride me."
- hand on your thigh when nobody can see, and his pinky is awfully close to your panties that it makes you nervous.
- ofc he can easily make you cum, but will he always let you? not without a cute little 'please' hes not. begging is fun, isnt it?
- lets be honest, the dick game is so good he don't even have to tell you to go to sleep after
- ofc he would definitely lay it down on you exactly how he described through text, and then clean you with special wipes he bought from the store because he aint a dickhead, duh.
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I have so many more, especially for different situations, so lmk if you want more! Thank u for all the support as of recently!
bye pookies!
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the-moon-files · 4 days
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YESSSSS I BEG GET INTO THE CULTURAL DIDFERENCES BETWEEN HYLIANS AND HUMANS 🙏🙏
...now ur just sweet talking me 🥰 /lh
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Not years, well maybe 1 year-
but i have wanted to ramble desperately to smone, even the tumblr void if i had to, abt humans vs. hylians so much, esp with a guide reader or male reader bc whatdya know im into niche stuff that only u and like 2 other ppl like lmao ¯\(ツ)/¯
Anyway im so shocked, since ur like the third person to be interested in this and wanna hear abt it 🥺 🤲💌 here u go!! Hope u like it <333 👉👈
Sun: Masc!Reader (he/him)
Orbit: Humans are Not Hylians/Humans are Space Orcs AU, Headcanons-ish, long overall but each section is kinda short
Stars: Mostly worldbuilding! you've been warned, don't get mad me for not talking abt the boys too much✌️
Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cursing, mentions of private area/joke in the clothing headcanons, & Trigger Warnings: none known.
Please comment if I missed any. /gen
just some quick headcanons bc tbh i haven't given it too much thought, and i feel like I've been able to somewhat get into it in other posts? or maybe im thinking of stuff i have in my drafts idk-
Imma make another list, so buckle up for the short ride lol
Courting periods/dating/marriage
individual/small groups society-based hylians v. large personal groups/large community society-based humans
simpler foods hylians v. complex food humans
clothing modesty/style/relationships with fashion
fighting styles/strategies
entertainment complexity/differences
and language
1st one, not much yet, im also making a separate post bc someone else asked me to talk abt that more 🥺
(tysm for all the enthusiastic asks guys <33)
anyway, basically hylian courting is a lot shorter, think “lesbians with the uhaul” type of energy, like sort of the classical medieval “does thee wish to pursue marriage with this one?” ← how hylians ask u out for the first time lmao
if it helps, they do tend to get to know one another well, talking about morals/kids/life goals/preferred lifestyle/house/etc. pretty clearly and quickly, then using the in between time to sort of stew on that information
id say the total time is sort of something like 6 months? maybe 3/4 if they're really compatible
(so bc i love interpreting video game logic for real world building, I actually blame this on how fast Zelda/link get together in games despite having sometimes never met before that moment lol)
like i said, ill be posting about this later
2nd one!!
pretty basic, just saying we don't really see hylians in big groups, despite the organizations they form, like kingdoms/knights or on a more personal level, towns/families/etc.
(once again, in-game appearances/video game logic translated to real life to draw these conclusions)
like not only are family units pretty small, like nuclear family setup, with like 2 parents and 2 kids, or single parent 1 kid type of situation, but the towns or collections of these families arent very big either
hylians kind of use their government the way it was intended lmao?
like the villages and towns matter more for everyday decisions than the kingdom/royalty, like Zelda would esstientally just be the mayor of Castle Town for those constant decisions,
while occasionally is called on to make decisions like for several towns or like is a natural disaster happens
meanwhile humans are, in comparison, in Way Bigger groups, both on an organization scale, and a personal scale
like u have all these specific branches of government, whereas im sure the population difference doesn't help,
and on a personal level, humans can easily have like multiple parents, lots of siblings, and once u combine that with each parent having family too, and those families like to meet up? All together??
yeah, itd look insane to any hylians (who’s smaller extended family may just make up their own village and that's it)
3. I've touched on this
like the use of spices, syrups, seasonings, etc
but also the complexity of dishes too, like chilling cream and mixing it for awhile to make ice cream, or even just getting ordering a pizza,
that's a lot of processing, like making the dough from flour and other ingredients, to letting it rise, to making the tomato paste, making cheese, then combining those things with any other toppings, all into one dish??
i like to think that hylians have only just started to touch on actual complicated cooking processes (as in BOTW, where they sell flour and salt, so people besides Link/Wild must know what to do with it)
this has the advantage of impressing any hylian with what a “creative genius” you are lol
4. look im just a fan of medieval time periods Links
so i think its funny if the hylians are used to like 4/3 layers and ur over here like, “wym, if i take off my shirt there's nothing underneath?”
one of them gets bold enough to ask, “d-do you not. do you not have undergarments??”
you “just my boxers? like just to cover my di-”
also this makes its easy to seduce people here? LMAO
clothes are def higher quality, after all there's not as many artificial processes or materials interfering,
plus u usually get some sick embroidery on it too!!
5. so like i get it, Link is the main fighter in games
but like, the few times there is a war/army in loz games, there's rlly not a lot of strategy, beyond just finding the enemy and fighting
tho im partial to that hylians/most inhabitants of Hyrule abide by the “lets meet up either literally by inviting each other or just between our territories to fight”
with occasional guerilla warfare (by any means necessary/stealth/ambush attacks/strategy) that's only rlly used either by Demise/Ganon, or by the wilder individuals/races in games
or maybe even the more civilized fighters in an emergency
and so that means by this logic that all of the Chain use kind of wild techniques compared to their race/kingdom lmao
id imagine its not too surprising to also see “every fight is a bar fight if its for my life” from individual travelers, so im sure they're not viewed too crazy (esp when ppl know their the hero that constantly has to deal with guerilla warfare from Ganon)
but its be hilarious to watch the reactions of both the Links realizing they’re in a bigger group that should be using “proper” fighting strategies and seeing the general publics reaction to this absolutely feral, armed to the teeth, trained hylians with their equally wild human lol
LMAO everyone thinks ur the reason they started using the more brutal fighting methods bc ur human, ur a bad influence lol
(humans would use it primarily, esp after we converted to use that method in warfare a couple hundred years ago i think?)
changing course a bit, hylians tend to use weapons (to compensate for difference in strength compared to humans, and since they don't experience/get a lesser version of adrenaline)
while humans tend to equally rely on weapons and our body as a weapon (marital arts/basic self-defense)
6. this is mostly bc the hylians only rlly seem to have the basics of music, books/stories, theater, and art
i have, surprise surprise, another post abt how i think this came to be,
mostly based on how human curiosity is indomitable and insatiable and the endless force that has not yet met its immovable object.
or at least an immovable object they haven't at least poked a little, out of curiosity lol
like we went to space for that reason, we reach the most dangerous corners of our planet (deep underwater/volcanoes) out of sheer curiousity/for the sake of simple knowledge of the thing
so needless to say, curiosity can absolutely drive any field to its limits, including the arts, which is why we can have stained glass, or movies/tv shows, hell, the marvel that is Hatsune Miku lmao
(fully for entertainment, a projection of light and sound, what is essentially magical illusions but u did it hte hard way, to the hylians)
on a different entertainment related note, i don't know if the hylians would be super into sports, or not really at all? mostly bc they have to use their fighting/training against real threats, not the sort of “fake” threats that sports are
but on the other hand i could see people like knights wanting to use their abilities for something other than violence and fighting bc their life or their villages lives depended on it
bet the Links would enjoy it for those reasons especially, what with at least sumo wrestling being a sport or activity for them at some point in history, and practically beg u for any new games to play, or to ref their games, bc whewwww
im sure they could get pretty competitive lol
7. obviously, their mostly influenced by the Japanese language
id almost like to imagine a sort of, if not outright Japanese (like with earlier heroes like Sky) then a sort of English-Japanese hybrid further along the line
sort of like how English has German/Greek/Latin roots and therefore u can see what words or structure comes from where, or even how u can understand a fair amount of basic words when other languages share the same roots (english, pants = spanish, pantalones)
would make for some funny miscommunications
or even better, most hylians liking ur unique accent or the Links love to hear u talk bc of it lol
well the fever has broken, i am now free of the sickness that made me hack this up geez
i hope u got some enjoyment out of these my beloved anon!! esp since u were so nice as to ask abt it <33
hope u guys have a great weekend, look out for some more posts, bc its been great to get some more asks in lately and very motivating,
not to mention i actually have time to write now that my siblings graduated/we’ve moved several states over 💀
so i have reliable internet now too! sheesh :’)
Peace out,
🌙
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martiandmichelle · 23 days
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Ya comfortable cause this is a kinda long post. . .
Some of you long-time followers may remember that I used to do a fair amount of prostitution. I cut way back on it several years ago after one bad experience and the growing success of Studio M. I did keep a (very) few of my favorite johns that I might see once or twice a year. One is a guy near my age (73) who lives alone on an isolated ranch in Texas. In the 11 years I've known him he's always been a gentleman with a great sense of humor. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately!) he has minimal control of his average-sized cock and cums quickly though only a couple times a day. In between those few orgasms of his he spends his time with me groping, sucking, and staring at my tits.
Soooo, anyway, it was during my last visit with him this past late winter, and while his was admiring his handiwork with my boobs, that he asked me about other tricks I had going. I try to be as honest as I can with someone who pays so much interest and cash on me, so I told him he was only one of 5 guys and 1 woman that I prostitute for. He wanted to hear more so I told him what little I could - not wanting to give away any secrets of my other clients. He began rolling my nipples between his fingers and masturbating them as they grew, lowering my resistance and increasing my breathing. He said he thought it would be really hot if I prostituted myself more often. The winter/spring "conference" of the southeastern US chapter of my global studio was coming up and he thought I should go and advertise my services. By this point my nipples were squirting milk all over the place and my cunt was gushing so how could I say no?!?
So, I went. He guessed at what I could charge new clients and I thought he was crazy while still begging him not to stop what he was doing to me tits. (I never have charged him more than I did that 1st time with him.) I took his suggestion and got management's wholehearted approval to go and show off and offer my services for what I thought was a ridiculous price. I made a bet with him that, at that exorbitant price, I wouldn't get over 10 clients.
So I staked my space at the "show" and opened up for business. Advertising my all natural T cup tits (that's before I grew to a U cup) and learning the next largest natural bust was an M cup, I thought maybe I had underestimated my traffic. What I did underestimate was my underestimation! After only one hour of opening, the organizers had to move me to their largest empty booth because of so many guests visiting me. My midday, they had moved me to my own room and at 5:00 pm they moved me again to my own ballroom - and even THAT was crowded!! (The photo above was from the conference as I accepted a sealed offer from a member.)
I simply could not believe there was that many men (and women!) who wanted to - and were willing to pay so handsomely - for time with me and my body! There were guys going together to have, threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes, and more "-somes" with me. There was no way I could say anything but "yes!" and "Thank you!" to them all.
If you would like to read more, just message or inbox me, or even just comment on this post. I'm not starting this service until after my mountain trip so my first "working visit" is on October 3rd of this year. 2025 is going to be wonderfully busy!
(But don't fret, I'll still be posting here lots!)
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ponds-of-ink · 8 months
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The Certified Pond Analysis of Scraptrap Voicelines
Because I haven’t talked about this rabbit’s voice lines as much as I should.
Buckle up. This is gonna get wordy.
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So, going in the order of this video, we have:
“I always come back!”
The most quoted Afton line. And understandably so. This is the man at his most triumphant, even with his.. questionable suit-repair choices. The emphasis on “always” as well as the moderately louder volume really sells that confident air Springtrap continues to have in FNAF AR. Though, as we’ll soon see, this is not the only emotion he feels as Scraptrap.
(Also, before we continue: This gives me the first point on the “I can hear the smile in his voice” scoreboard. It’s a surprise tool that should help us later.)
”Bittersweet, but fitting”
…And by “later”, I apparently mean now.
There may be a smirk at the end, but it’s not a strong one. The overall line read is much more reserved here. Maybe even somber, if I’m inferring correctly. The choice of words is interesting here too. Whoever’s the owner of the Pizza Sim building, he may not be as fond of jumpscaring them as one would think…
”What a deceptive calling! I knew it was a lie the moment I heard it— Obviously, but it is intriguing nonetheless…”
Ah, yes. The big monologue post-Salvage. Couple of things I noticed here that aren’t debatable lore implications:
(1) Man’s rushing through that second half for some reason. Don’t know if that was an editing error, an intentional line read, or Scraptrap trying to.. reason with himself? Sound smarter than he thinks he is? I dunno, something about the pacing is off here.
(2) Oh, hey, first line with a “snake hiss”! This isn’t a consistent trait with his lines, but it’s a key feature that I use to differentiate Springtrap and Scraptrap during voice impressions.
(3) This man puts so much emphasis on words sometimes. So much so that I can not only hear the smile near the end, but I can also feel the eye roll during “deceptive”. And PJ Heywood never voice acted before FNAF apparently? H u h.
Anyway, moving on before I start implying that Scrap-Trap might’ve been lured in by a newspaper or something…
“Fascinating! What they have become…”
Another point to the “I can hear the smile” board. We’re on three points now; three and a half if you count “Bittersweet”.
This one I’ve already brought up before, but the abridged analysis is: This guy (unlike Glitch-Trap in that one Security Breach trailer) actually compliments his.. uh.. teammates? Workmates? ..Just realized that the relationship dynamic between the Salvage Gang doesn’t have an official term. Bummer.
That aside, it’s genuinely interesting that he doesn’t diss them at all. You think he would given his reputation, but no. He just has this twisted sense of “oh wow they’re so cool”.
…Come to think of it, has he directly dissed somebody in the games specifically? I’m not even sure if the “Deceptive Calling” monologue or the AR Springtrap lines count. AR Springtrap tends to boast about himself more than put the player down and Scraptrap was having an ‘I’m smarter than that lol” moment.
If I’m right, then I think I may have found a proper difference between a pretend Mimic Afton and the real one. Huh.
“How can I resist a promise such as this?”
Getting back to the main topic, we’ve got a return for the snake hiss and the emphasis on certain words. Also, add another point to “I can hear the smile”— Except it’s more of a smug grin than a bizarre, wide-eyed look of wonder.
Not sure what that promise is post-jumpscare, but I do know that this has a chance to play during the office sections. So the promise is either Henry’s lure or seeing his son Mike one last time. I dunno, dude, it’s all vague to me.
”That was easier than I thought it would be…”
AKA The line that makes me wonder “Dude, you good?”
No seriously. The quick halt in-between the second and third word. The sudden choke that happens at the end. Like his voice just properly broke for the first time in ages. The overall somberness of it all. There is literally no smile here and I’ve checked. There may even be tears starting to well up, but I obviously can’t be sure.
It’s even implied that he thought he’d had a tougher time fighting the owner! He actually assumed he wouldn’t win this easily!
Something about this feels.. unnerving. He’s not supposed to sound this upset. At least, not usually. So what, pray tell, is going on with this voice line?? Why was this the take Scott used??
“You may not recognize me at first, but I assure you: It’s still me”
Well, that’s one more point for the “I can hear the smile” board. Also, I believe this is confirmation of that ‘Springtrap switched suits after FNAF 3’ theory? That’s what it sounds like, at least?
But, hey, at least Scrap-Trap is canonically aware of the sudden shift in appearance. Let’s hope his potential FNAF World 2 version isn’t as nervous about it as I assume FNAF 6 him would be… If he had access to the internet, of course.
Also, for the one person who may or may not care about this: He’s using contractions here. I think it’s been established that he only uses these at certain times, but I can’t remember where exactly I read that analysis. Anyway, he’s unafraid about “slipping up” at this point.
One more thing…
Compared to AR Springtrap, Scraptrap is much more.. casual in tone, if that’s the best way to put it. Much more low energy, though his antics are anything but.
Like, yes, he’s still coming for you if you keep letting ads play on your computer. But maybe he’ll let you live for a few seconds longer just so you could turn the ad off? He’s not in a rush, as far as I can tell.
Maybe that’s another reason why my brain jumps to Scraptrap more than Springtrap. If he wasn’t tied to this “attacking the guard” business, he could probably chill for a second and give advice on paperwork. Wouldn’t last for long, of course, but at least one could potentially die knowing that you drank coffee with a much more business-savvy Spring Bonnie… Grungy though he looks. Springtrap, on the other hand, wouldn’t give you the time of day.
TL;DR:
PJ Heywood put more nuance into this guy than even I was expecting. Big round of applause, genuinely.
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crushthecore · 2 months
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MINOR BTW
Hey so I impulsively decided to make this blog for the purpose of making friends and uhh idk where to start do I just put my interests out there and people pop out of nowhere,^^`π¢√|ππ`°€°€ Anyways soo at the time it's 2am, so bare with me, sorry if some things are grammatically wrong or/and don't make sense, I know all of this has a bunch of errors. Kinda rushed through this all..:D 
Uhh
Here's an interest board🙏 this contains like the music I like, movies, and stuff,,,tbh I have some shit in here that I haven't watched cuz of my lazy ass but I really want to, does it count😞 i am interested in it
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If I'm being honest some of these aren't really my current interests, or I'm just rusty in my knowledge abt em, but I haven't been interested in some things for awhile so it would be boring if I had only a few things in there soo (I barely do anything with my life but sleep. I don't even watch shows anymore, ikik boring I'm trying to convince my mom to buy me the CSM manga at the moment though. I'll have something to yap abt, maybe.🙏🙏) 
EDIT: looking back at this I forgot to include some other stuff that I'm also interested in but I forgot abt it at the time of making this... anywho I'll make an updated interest post or something if I'm motivated enough 2 do it
!! Some extra stuff that may be useful to know, to you knowww know what you're getting into. 🤔:3
Ahem ahem, I have social anxiety which means I most likely won't text you first unless I really really force myself too or/and I really like you and think you are very cool. So if u wanna be friends with me, using the anon question option thingy would be a nice first step. :D
I get attached extremely fast uhhh🤔🤔yea, oh and I'm extremely clingy so if someone texting you every 30 minutes (or minute, jkjk) sounds like a no go, than I'm not a good fit to be your friend.^_^  BUT. I also have my times where I feel like talking to no one so uhhhsidnjddj. I have no life so that's what probably contributes to me being attached to someone, maybe, probably...😇 (dumbass)
MY TIME ZONE: PDT (Pacific Daylight Time)
BEWAREE⚠️I sometimes joke around meanly so let me know if that ain't your thing, also I SOMETIMES get a little tooooo sentimental so I should probably stop playing around like that but I'll let you know if you passed a limit. Also I don't think I joke around very mean, but just to be safe. Please don't let this be a turn off. 🙏 Some examples of the jokes I may make are like "kys" and uhm yea. My minds kinda blank right now I'm getting a little tired, but my jokes consist of suicide, bombing places I don't like(school) and some other ones.So idk if it's heavilyyy offensive humor but some people don't take a liking to it so I thgouht it would be imporant to add
I feel like writing down a whole DNI list is gonna be uhh time consuming, will it take a long timr??? Some that I can name on the top of my head rn are proshippers, homophobes, and transphobes. But anyways I'll just block you if you're weird weird (in a bad way) so like age regrresors, (SFW) furries, witches, emos, oher co ol people i hsve forggteten, PLEAESRETEGD let me be ur friend 😞
I'm 14 btw,, the age range I'm aiming to become friends with is 13-16
Idk if I'd be down to be friends with people younger than 13 or older than 16, we'll see. 🤷🤷 But 13-16 people PLEASEEe INTERACT.
I'm not even kidding I'm so desperate for social interaction blehdhdhhd, I hate being an introverted socially anxious loser🤬🤬/hj :3 but please guys🙏🙏 I will worship the ground you walk on I need some friends
ONE. LASTM THING. When I talk to someone new I usually talk, uhh, formally??? Kind of, I get anxious talking to others so I'm so sorry if I seem uptight💔 I swear I'll warm up after some time, the more consistent the interactions, the faster I get used to you and warm up^^
I feel like I'm forgetting to write something else uhh, I'll update if anything important comes to my mind later, maybe (sorry for the messy formatting btw I lost all my progress when I was trying to make it pretty so I just gave up)
Well this is going to be embarrassing if this doesn't have any results errmmfjfjfjjffi I had been contemplating on doing this for awhile, praying to God at least one person reaches out 🙏🙏
 I don't even believe in that mf ☹️ 
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLE /ref
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mrs-monaghan · 10 months
Note
So this is inspired by a reply to one of your asks but what do you think each pairs of BTS will be doing if you lock them up in a room for an hour and left unsupervised.
Hello anon. There is way too many pairs in BTS for me to cover them all. So allow me to only do Jikook duos.
I will start with the duos I as Shaz deem to be the weakest, to strongest.
Okay JK's weakest duo which is also his weakest ship; If you've been around for a while you already know who I'm about to say 😂😂😂
Yoonkook.
(The tiktok on the post Here is how I feel about JK's ships. But I swap tkk for ynkk) So Yoonkook alone. Here i talk more about them after the Suchwita episode. But I will now also bring back the IG photos from the concert
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Spot the difference? 🤭🤭🤭🤭 and i will be a nice blogger and not bring up the fact that on day 3 while we were busy watching Suga's concert JK was on tiktok liking videos.
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Sorry anon..I crack myself up when I talk about Yoonkook but umm... yeah so. We already know what happens when u put them in a room together. They run out of things to talk about. We saw on Suchwita and we saw on Bon voyage by JK's own admission. When I see Yoonkook fanfic on twitter I get very confused 🤭🤭😂😂 because they don't click. Not really. If asked they will choose other members first. Definitely not eo. Yoonkook content with just them 2, I doubt they'd be very entertaining. Not without buffers may it be human or machine 😂
.
Finding Jimin's weakest duo is actually really hard because like RM said; Jimin is the king of chemistry and put him in a room with anyone and it will be funny and quality entertainment. But I will try.
Vmin.
I'm sorry but these 2 alone, together? Nah... Jimin may be the king of chemistry but even he can't fix the Vmin chemistry anymore. There was a time everything used to flow great between them but in recent years Vmin just ain't it. If u think I'm making this up go back to this live before JK comes in
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They kept running out of things to talk about too. Jimin even pretended to leave at one point. They were super awkward to say the least and I feel like they were both grateful for JK's presence. @magicshop-pjm1 likes to go "Vmin is dead" every 2 to 4 business days which is absolutely hilarious 😂😂😂 but I think anyone not in denial can admit while yeah, I'm sure they still care about eo, something somewhere went wonky and they're not the same anymore.
This tweet is a joke and its hilarious 🤣😂😂 but unfortunately i find it accurate. Them 2 alone aint it
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Taekook.
This was kinda obvious. Some people would rate this duo lower than Yoonkook but I think that's not fair. If you compare them with an unbiased eye Tkk are stronger than ynkk. First they are closer in age which helps. Meaning they're gonna be closer, too. But put them in a room together and it's not even awkward its nothingness. I'm talking silence. By JK's own admission here it just wasn't working. And we all remember the joint IG live where they ran out of things to talk about and JK would play with Bam instead. Another duo where JK needs a buffer for sure. I mean, sure tkk have been out and about but notice how its always with the Wooga squad? Never just them two?
On the plus side, they look really good. So, I'll give them that. 💚
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Minimoni
Again this is so hard because Jimin has very strong duos. But yeah, I will put RM second last because RM as a person (bless him and his dimples) he's not the most entertaining and has to bounce off of someone. Them together, alone won't be boring but I'm not sure it would be that memorable or mind blowing. These are just my personal opinions guys so feel free to disagree or chime in. But yeah. I feel Minimoni is 2nd last for me.
I do find it interesting how comfortable RM is with skinship when it comes to Jimin considering he's not big on that in general (unless its Jin) He's even the one who initiates so he is quite comfortable around Jimin.
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Anyway, they're a nice duo with a dynamic that gives you UWUs but they're not the most interesting in my eyes. Sorry Minimonis 🤷🏽‍♀️
Namkook
What's the most recent thing that we know about them? We know they hanged out after JK left Jennie's CK event. And we know before that JK said him and RM hadn't drunk together in years. Years. Not months. Now this dont mean they don't see eo. It just means they don't drink together often. I do find this to be significant however because both men love their liquor. But, they drink with other members just not eo so.... 😬😬 again, not making this up, its as per their own admissions
So Namkook in a room together 🤔 what do we got here guys? Have we ever had this? We had a Namkook live but the only memorable thing for me was them outing the fact that Jikook live together. I am blanking on Namkook which makes me feel confident about the position I've put RM.
Give it up for Jimin's type thou everybody 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
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Jinmin
I would actually have Jinmin and Jihope as a tie but since I'm choosing I will rate Jinmin lower. But man. These 2 together are the absolute best. They are such a comedic entertaining duo. Them together alone in a room is worth every penny if we were asked to pay for any such footage 😂😂 they are funny and they bounce off of eo so well. Never a dull or awkward moment between Jin and Jimin. Never.
These two are the ones you throw to a team that's drowning. They are the ones u assign to a team for better views. I love them together fr fr. Best duo. Such a good duo. Honestly. Throw JK in there and you are set for life with the best trio ever. Go search for any of their compilations and I dare you to be bored.
And we haven't even began to talk about their visuals
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First photo of them that pops up on Google and... as it should. Most beautiful man alive Vs world wide handsome =perfection 💯💯💯
(Off topic BTS main visual was always Jin and then V was added to the visual line then eventually JK. Now dont get me wrong all of them are drop dead gorgeous but is there a reason Jimin isn't part of the visual line?? Anyway...)
Hopekook
Hopekook in a room together alone, I'd say that's solid entertainment right there. They're good together, they're funny. It's Jhope we're talking about. He rivals Jimin on having chemistry with the members so him and JK alone i think that's a solid video right there. No awkwardness or nothing and Bonus skinship for the Hopekookers. Good times, really.
JK is extremely comfortable with Jhope so yeah... they're a good duo. No one is getting bored.
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Yoonmin
Okay y'all. We know most Yoonmin supporters are rubbish vermin but don't let that make you forget that Yoonmin are extremely entertaining together. Put these 2 in a room alone together and come on... GOLD!! The Yoonmin Suchwita episode is hands down the funniest for me. I laughed from beginning to the end. Swear to God ✋🏽 that episode and the one with the drunk TXT members are great rewatches for me ngl. Also Jimin is Suga's favourite member so Suga is super comfortable with Jimin in everything. But my favorite part of them is the bickering of course.
They can't ever seem to stop fighting which is just so freaking entertaining. Remember ITS 1 when Jhope told Jimin he was being cocky so Jimin said he was going to look for Suga so that the guy could kill his cockiness? He said going to Suga would bring him back down to earth 😂🤣 Because this is who they are, its what they do. They insult eo and call eo out. So people who get mad at Suga need to watch a good old Yoonmin bickering compilation. They've called each other ugly, fat, stupid, skinny, and a bunch of other stuff some people seem to have forgotten.
Anywaaaaaay. Yoonmin alone together is quality content and that's why Suga is high on this list.
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Jinkook
Surely I don't need to explain why this duo is number 2 in terms of JK's most entertaining duos. Right? Like its self explanatory? I've stated many times; imo Jin is JK's favourite/closest after Jimin. Some of u disagree and say Jhope nah, its Jin. Imho.
Tom and Jerry, perfect title for them 2. Love it. Put them in a room together and you're set.
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chaotic thread here for those who need a refresher
Jihope aka Hopemin
We don't need to imagine. This duo have been alone together or engaged just them enough to know they are entertaining as shit. Its usually mostly Jhope laughing at Jimin's antics but this usually prompts Jimin into getting funnier with every laugh he gets from Jhope.
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Much like Jinmin they are the duo you shove into a dying group to give it spice. They are absolutely epic and I feel confident putting Hobi on the number 2 spot of Jimin's most entertaining duos.
They do have awkward moments when they're checking eo out to try and out compliment eo but that's just entertaining as well 😂😂
Last but not least Jikook/Kookmin/Minkook/Mingukk
Now hear me out. This isn't just my bias that made me put this duo at the top. Alright? There is this ongoing unfairness taking place in the fandom where people undermine Jimin and JK's funny n chaotic sides.
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Together they are hilarious and entertaining and this duo doesn't get enough credit for being as funny as they are.
The reason they are number one is because Jikook alone together is a complete programme. Humor, Check. Chaos, Check. Romance, Check. Sexual tension, Check.
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Hate or love this duo, they're a perfect recipe for entertainment.
Would love to hear your thoughts but this is how I'd rate them. Thanks for the ask anon, twas fun 💜
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starrylayle · 4 months
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"Don't get me started on jegulus" actually please get started I'd like to hear your thoughts on it because your take on wolfstar and the oc-ification of some characters is so refreshing to see (tbh my first reaction to jegulus was just confusion on how it started and how quickly it got popular lmao)
ahh this makes so happy to hear that my post resonated with some people!! Was worried i was in the minority lol.
Anyways, abt jegulus -- i acc had a reaaally long post about how much i hated the dynamic (in canon compliant ish works -- Jegulus in aus is fine ig) but i deleted it lol.
I think the core reason why i dislike the pairing so much is that I feel like it the ship goes against everything James stands for. We don't know a lot about James' character in canon, but what we do know is that he had a strong sense of justice, and fierce loyalty to his friends and his cause, which ultimately led to his doom. I just can't imagine that James would associate with someone even a little bit bigoted. This is not to say i think James is a saint, i think he could be an ass sometimes (snapes worst memory lol) but i think he'd draw the line at someone who was associated with 'evil'. James had a very black and white view of good and bad and i just don't think it would make sense for James to date reg, esp as he is becoming a death eater. James may be a dick but he is also the biggest ally to ever ally !!
The only jegulus fics I have read are 'Just Lovers' and 'Choices'. Just lovers is a non-voldy au so i don't really have a problem with their dynamic there but choices on the other hand,, oh boy.
Spoilers for 'Choices' by MesserMoon btw (TW for talk of SA):
Regulus' friends rape Mary. And instead of feeling disgusted on the victim’s behalf, (who has been his friend for 5 years) James instead feels upset because it tarnishes the ‘good’ image he has of reg in his head. Thing is when a similar situation happened (The Prank ™), James was upset that Sirius would do such a thing but he also felt disgusted on behalf of Remus. Where was that energy here, huh?? I’ve even seen comments villianising Mary (the rape victim).
The thing I also hate about their dynamic is that it is basically an ally of the oppressor and ally of the oppressed. The problem with that is that when you are allied with the oppressor, you become an oppressor yourself (and reg does; he does terrible things) and that subsequently makes the so-called ally of the oppressed in cahoots with the oppressor as well. This brings so many parallels to real life where people say that they are an “ally” but become friends with/date a racist/rapist. “Oh but they’re nice to me”. its just a little ew.
And in other jegulus canon-compliant-ish fics, sometimes instead of James' character being watered down its Regulus' character. Like, he's not as morally grey, not as complex etc so it makes sense that James would agree to date him. I feel like jegulus as a ship ruins the core of what made their characters so interesting in the first place.
That being said,,, i do love me some canon-compliant unrequited jegulus. Regulus goes to hogwarts, gets so mad at Sirius for ditching him or whatever, but falls in love with the very guy that stole sirius away. He also has internalised homophobia because he's a Black brother so imagine the angst. James potter goes against everything he stands for,, sirius betrayed him,, but perhaps they're right abt smth?? Perhaps he needs to do smth. alone.
sorry for rambling but these are my thoughts on jegulus !! Anyways I feel like I should reiterate that this is a personal preference!! I think it ruins core of these characters, i prefer jily and i love me some unrequited gay pining for the boy who you're brother replaced u with. But this is just a personal preference !
oh and just a side note if it ever led to a decision where james had to choose between sirius and regulus -- no matter how much he 'allegedly' loved regulus, he would choose sirius, no questions asked.
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columboscreens · 1 year
Note
ive been rewatching columbo eps on prime video (idk where to get the other season after 7 :c) and i'm just done with A Case of Immunity, the one with the Suarian Kingdom and the whitest middle east guy i've ever seen ? And like. I'm not a fan of that episode, but. I feel like i'm missing a lot of political or historical context for that episode ? And I wanted to know if you knew more. Thank u, I'll get back to my little guy show now.
you're not missing much.
the latter portion of original columbo was marked by an increased desire to show him in radically different contexts--between a man on international waters, an arab diplomat, a IRA liason, a CIA agent, and a mexican matador, it suffices to say columbo got around a little more as time went on. and due to the growing US interest in the middle east throughout the 70s (most of europe's imperialist/colonialist tendrils had vacated, cold war alliances were being made, israel, oil, etc.) i suppose they thought people would want to see something topical. they also didn't want to piss anybody off, so the Very Real Country of Suari it was.
the role of hassan salah was originally intended for ben gazzara, but he was scrapped by the network for being too expensive (much to peter falk's consternation). mine too, really, because though hector elizondo did a fantastic job, i think gazzara would've played a better arab. he was sicillian, but i wouldn't be surprised if he had actual arab heritage, as sicilians very often do. his surname is arabic as hell--غزارة is arabic for "abundance", which ended up as a loanward in italian to mean "noisy".
ultimately though, the middle east is an ethnically and geographically diverse region containing a wide variety of looks and skin tones. for one, i and my entire family are lebanese. my skin is rather pale, my grandfather was tan but had pale blue eyes, my aunt is nearly blonde, etc. so elizondo's countenance may not scream "arab" nearly as much as gazzara's, but levant, maghreb, or gulf--he's not all that unbelievable either.
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funnily enough, in middle ages arabia, those with blue eyes were associated with duplicitous and untrustworthy behavior....
i guess something that does kinda make me roll my eyes is the treatment of the language. to their credit, the characters do speak and write real arabic in the show, albeit...poorly. obviously it's a 70s tv movie, who cares about accurate glottal stops, but they spent like eight grand to rent a learjet for one of the scenes, and the arabic is real and (mostly) intelligible, so clearly somebody translated it. would it have killed them to hire a dialect coach?
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we did get some extremely jewish-sounding arabic out of peter though. so. all is emphatically forgiven
the one thing that truly rubs me the wrong way about the episode is that it's noxiously sympathetic to the american political ethos of the time, which as we well know could do no wrong. watch columbo OWN this EVIL diplomat donned in traditional garb who wants to retain his country's DISGUSTING traditional ways while the new, hip young king who was probably forcefully instituted by american troops in a coup you'll never learn about is COOL and LOVES AMERICA and will lead his oil-filled country on camelback into a beautiful sunset of BEING COOL and LOVING AMERICA. there's NO WAY this could go south. STOP looking at iran NOW
(speaking of which, the state dept. rep who bursts columbo's bubble, kermit morgan, might or might not be a nod to kermit roosevelt jr. who played a central role in the CIA's ousting of iran's mosaddegh in 1953)
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...least he's honest
anyway, in retrospect this episode isn't the series' finest moment, but it's a decent watch--and believe me, far and away not the worst treatment of arabs hollywood has thrown at us over the years. i know i'd certainly take a dozen of these over whatever the hell they were churning out post-9/11.
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wallahi i could've forgiven the weird culturally inaccurate bowing if they just put columbo in a keffiyeh...
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Have you thought about a Locorro Omegaverse AU?? May be in modern Au or Na'vi
You motherfuckers can NOT be doing this to me. You can notttt be sending me omegaverse asks r u joking me.
OBVIOUSLY gun to my head I fucking love omegaverse it's the funniest invention of all mankind and I will read every fic out there possible with any of my otps... (feel free to peruse my What does it say about me that I find a/b/o fics so funny and fascinating anyways here are the bangers collection ONLY if you are 18+ and you like well-written, bizarre, and sometimes disturbing shit because when did we as a society let the omegaverse get away with being considered normal?).
But anyways I have to be honest I have never considered it for locorro, it's always such an inherently sexual concept, as evidenced by the 18+ of that collection lol. But lets give it some pg-13 thought (pls feel free to jump right on my throat if my specific omegaverse understanding is different than yours, there's a fucking bee version now guys I can't win them all):
-We will stay Na'vi, because I feel like it would be interesting and would fit oddly well in their culture.
-I do think Lo'ak would be an alpha he's way too hot-headed and emotional not to be. Like I said in some other post, he just feels things too much and when he's little the feelings are too big for him. He just overloads and has to throw massive tantrums lol. Only made worse by any bullying and insecurity he feels about his human traits
-I think Spider would be a beta, he has calming energy. I always see him as someone everyone can talk to, he gives great advice and he's everyones favorite listener. That's one of the many reasons he slips through the cracks; he puts everyone else first emotionally. He's always so focused on everyone else around him that he forgets about himself. Totally exacerbated by judgement from the Omaticaya and just being small enough to escape notice and stay out of sight.
-I think Kiri would be a beta too and that her and Spider together have an UNMATCHED vibe like it's impossible to be in a bad mood near them.
-They balance Lo'ak out real well, and its one of the reasons the three of them get along so well. He pushes them to actually do things and have fun and they chill him the fuck out.
-As early as he can remember Lo'ak's favorite people were Spider and Kiri. He loves Neteyam and his parents, sure, but they just aren't Spider and Kiri. They don't get Lo'ak, not quite like Spider and Kiri do, and they can't make him feel understood before he gets angry, frustrated, or hurt.
-Eventually this evolves to Spider just being Lo'ak's favorite person. He cannot pinpoint when the change occurred, because it wasn't exactly linear, but one day Spider was going swimming with Tuk and Kiri was forced to go hunting with Neteyam and Jake and Lo'ak wasn't even torn at all deciding who to join; even though Tuk is a monster and hunting is awesome.
-I think it's real hard for the parents not to notice, like it's pretty clear from day one that the three are so close and interconnected that Spider has to be right for one of them, they are family. It just gets clearer with time which it is.
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not-alien-girl-v · 1 year
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Internet Hcs About the Evans
i don’t know. read it
warning: like everything language mentions of porn idk dont read it if ur gonna be like ew stop being lewd
Tate: Knows the fnaf lore. Specifically watched Markiplier play it and also a Sally Face fan like hardcore and kins both Sal and Larry equally. Has a Tumblr acc but it’s only to interact w fanart of fnaf and sally face and like idk follow other fan accs he’s one of those empty accs with some random ass username no posts no bio no prof pic just his name in lowercase. has a deviantart?? again doesn’t post just to look at fanart he’s really into fanart and almost gets into reading fanfiction about his various interests but ultimately decides against it cuz i feel like violet would clown on him for it if she ever found out
Kit: Has an insta but it’s private with like 27 followers and it’s all like just his family and friends and sometimes when his friends post he’ll comment something like ‘Looking good bud 👍’ and then disappears from the internet for another month or two until he gets a notif that his wife posted or something. too scared to go on twitter and i don’t blame him. for the most part he just doesn’t understand how the internet works and has no intentions of finding out so he leaves it alone. he also has a facebook but same rules apply with the instagram only ever goes on to hype up his wife and kids and sometimes friends
Kyle: frat boy sorry cuz i don’t imagine frankenkyle can fathom the internet anyway i feel like kyle gets into debates online like way too much and he sees nothing wrong w the fact that he’s like actively searching out bigots to give a piece of his mind to. he’s got a tiktok and only follows like racist sexist ppl so his feed is full or opportunities to curse someone out digitally. he’s also got a twitter thats almost been banned a lot. he’s completely anonymous w it tho and his insta is completely regular he’s got like maybe 900-1000 followers just of like his friends and frat guys from his own or other frats and a bunch of girls who asked for his insta cuz they thought he was cute even though he never replies to flirty dms. he WOULD have several white boy went fishing posts and you guys can’t argue w me on this ok i wrote too much for him. he definitely has a lot of girls commenting every time he posts and i think his brothers would give him a lot of shit for not ‘jumping on that shit’ but he’s all like ‘oh i’m old fashioned u know i’m not like that’ has an active snapchat that he adds stories to all the time but once again never responds to messages
Jimmy: he has an account on instagram, twitter, probably facebook but they’re all mostly like linked to the freak show ykwim like he’d have like a verified checkmark but he only ever posts like freak show related announcements or like every now and then a little video that he records of him and some other ppl in the show behind the scenes and it’s captioned like ‘come see us (enter date here)’ and that’s pretty much it he’s not super big on being active in social media because he claims he has plenty of friends irl he doesn’t need fake robot friends. also may not know how the internet works
James: i mean sally runs the hotels official instagram page and all other socials and he probably has no idea that she’s doing that until he finds out she posted some image of video of him on one of the accounts and then some guests recognize him at the hotel and say like ‘omg ur that guy!!’ and he has no idea what it all means n shit. I think he would get a great kick out of instagram reels like non tiktok but you know how like a month after a trend happens on tiktok then it goes to reels? right like he eats that shit up he thinks its the funniest goddamn thing like funny cat videos or someshit
Kai: right so like we all know he trolls reddit and 4chan and posts rude reviews on thatcow. the kinda guy that kyle finds himself internet battling like this is the enemy he's been preparing for. he has a tiktok to stay relevant and he's just a comment section lurker 'user17896379' type shit he just likes various biggoted comments and occasionally replies just to start fights and shit. he's got a facebook and insta where he's totally normal tho like 'hey guys vote me for senate!!' again similar to kyle but like opposite ends of the same spectrum. i would love to view his search history. searches the most despicable things on p0rn websites every time he yanks it and i just am desperate to know what shit he's looking at
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vivaladicamillo · 1 year
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I saw your posts asking for ideas and I was thinking what If you wrote something about you being Bams younger sister and filing cky coz April doesn’t want you to get hurt and you have like secret relationship with Dico or Ryan
DICO/MARGERA!READER
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thank u so much for the suggestion!!! im gonna do it for dico this time bc one, theres no fanfics of this silly dude and two, i havent written abt dico in SOOOO long. this ones for the dico lovers out there love yall, a dying breed🫡
WARNINGS: dangerous stuff, fluff, bran being bran yk
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being bams younger sister has its ups and downs
bam as a brother is A NIGHTMARE
hes just such a dick
making fun of u, annoying u and being the “younger brother” type character bc hes just like that
u were 2 years older than him
so when u started kinda liking his life long friend, “dico”
it was kinda awkward bc u yk, hes ur brothers best friend
one night, u were just chilling at the house alone
ape and phil went out, bam was probably out skating somewhere and jess had band practice so having a empty house all to urself?? hell yea!
as u sit on ur couch, just watching some stupid ass movie thats on someone knocks at ur door
when u answer it, its Brandon dicamillo himself (dico)
“hey, uh is bam around?” he asks looking kinda nervous
“nah, i thought he was put filming with u, but its 9:00 he should be back soon.”
“ah ok, ill just wait in my car till he gets here then, thanks.” he smiles at u
“come on bran dont be a stranger! i’m m just watching a movie just wait inside till he gets back.”
you held the door open for him and he walks in and plops down on ur couch
in your spot.
“asshole what the fuck thats my spot”
“didnt see ur name on it.” he says smirking “also what kinda horse shit are u watching? let me show u some real funny shit.”
dico then proceeds to put on an old western movie
“what the fuck dicamillo??”
“what??! this shit is so funny watch this.” he says pointing to the tv as some guy dressed as a cowboy gets shot on screen
the acting was terrible yes, but the way dico was hysterical laughing at it kinda made u smile
his laugh, his interests, just his goofy personality made ur heart flutter
u didn’t realize that u had been staring into this mans whole soul for ten mins until he turns to u and smiles
“may i help u?” he says kinda chuckling
“oh, uh sorry..” u say blushing and kinda turning away
the silence that took place after could have killed u right then and there
until he turns to u
“hey uh.. ive been actually meaning to talk to u about something…” he says, that nervousness kinda coming back from before
u nod ur head as he starts to confess to u
“listen, i know ur my best friends older sister and this is kinda weird but… ever since i met u, i thought u were so cool! i wouldnt have expected u to like masters of the universe and filming bits as much as do…”
“yea, i can see how u couldnt have seen that coming bc of my brothers”
“yea, but anyways, ive always kinda…been into u, im super sorry if this is weird i didnt mean to make it like that i just think..”
u smile, did fucking brandon dicamillo just confess his love for u ??
“bran..”
he turns to u
“i feel the same way, ive always had i just didnt wanna make things awkward if u didnt.” u smiled at him and scooted closer to him on the couch
“really?!?” he said in shock
“mhm, i like you… like A LOT”
u move in closer and you two end up making out on ur couch
after that day u both agreed to date without anyone knowing
yea it was suspicious when u two wouldnt be able to film or hang out at the same time on the same day but the guys kinda brushed it off
u two went of secret little dates
dico would surprise u ALL the time with cute date spots
random cat cafes, parks, family ran restaurants, he just found little cute places in westchester to take u to, and u LOVED IT
when bam realized u obviously were seeing someone bc u were WAYYY to happy, u decided to snoop
going through u room he ended up finding one of dicos shirts hidden under ur bed
thats when bam decides to confront u about it……
—————————————
might make some type of part two to this but it depends if yall want it or not, hope u enjoyed! also please keep sending in requests i love them sm !! yall are so creative i love it sm
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spaceyflowers · 1 year
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Do you have headcanons about lookism + htf characters that you haven't talked about in a post before?
OH yeah um. a lot, but some are def leaning towards ooc/very self indulgent LMAO so i'm sorry if u look at these and go "they would NOT do that" its true to me 💔
i'll list 5 for both series!
thank u for showing interest, and also anyone else is welcome to reply/reblog with their headcanons bc theyre always fun to see <3 !!
(btw sorry if i have shared some of these b4, if i did they were prob in my tags and i just forgot 😭)
×
LOOKISM
-mary kim; she has a muscular figure with a lil tummy ! naturally started losing weight and building muscle while doing judo as a sport and exercising in general. she's still a little sensitive about her weight due to bullying when she was younger and at a larger size, but shes happy where she is now. she'll beat ur ass if u shit talk her weight but if u do it behind her back, vin jin will step in if he catches u ^_^
-jay; hes selectively mute, it formed mainly from his social anxiety but also because he's naturally an introvert and was neglected during his developing childhood stages, so that snowballed into selective mutism ! (saying this just bc i like having reasons for everything rather than just make him not being able to talk a Unique Character Trait Thing) i also have a whole ass backstory idea for him but i'll only share if someone's interested 😭 tbh tho i might get too attached to it and ignore canon if his real backstory ever comes out LMAOOO
-leonn; i ABSOLUTELY fucking refuse to have the only woman in the architecture department be there just bc she has a crush on some fucking guy (not an insult to vasco, simply an angry comment directed towards gross heteronormativity and the shitty use of female characters). anyways she mistook her deep admiration for vasco as romantic feelings
-warren; has a blackhole stomach. everyone in hostel is wary about wasted food bc theyre,, not very well off to say the least so anything they dont like/cant finish they give to warren and he happily chows down ^_^ also yeah hes not very picky about what he eats !!
-vin jin; the easiest way to tell he's embarrassed is when his ears go red. (jace, too... for obvious reasons) its hard to catch him blush under his shades sometimes! this may or may not also be the reason he grew out his hair ^_^
HOW TO FIGHT
-snapper has become such a talented cameraman he is now great at secretly recording things to blackmail his friends LMAAOAO (obviously nothing serious tho, snapper's not evil 😭)
-rumi has a habit of petting people's heads affectionately 💖
-jisoo's ass is rotting in jail! ^_^
-taehun is a child magnet. you'd think he'd scare off kids but nope they all wanna play with him. and he acts like he hates this fact yet he always plays with the kids or at least entertains them a little (when hes not busy). altho he does hate this fact; babies are always staring at him (yknow that one science study or whatever that said babies stare at pretty people? yeah.)
-THE GIRLS ARE ALL BESTIES!!!!!! bomi, gyeoul, rumi, and gaeul <3 bomi is the calm collected smart one, rumi is also the smart one but more bubbly, gyeoul is the little goblin they kinda have to keep on a leash and gaeul's dumb of ass pure of heart <3
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chickenkooks · 1 year
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Hi, it's May 2023 now time rly does fly fast huh? I still re-read TRA bec it's my comfort fic. Anyway i hope you're doing well and still having amazing sex lol! I miss hearing bout ur seggs stories and just ur life updates. I hope one day if by chance u can still open this acc, and you'll see our positive messages ahhh! tysm for writing tra really. Every year i still send you an ask it's pathetic jshdhd but i miss you sm my fave writer but I hope u're well, happy and healthy! 💜 it's been what 4 or 5 years but i still won't give up hope that u'll update us someday even if it's just a life update huhueee im just so thankful u wrote tra. And i truly miss you xx take care always!
oh boy so hi i don't even know how many years its been at this point but this message just really warmed my heart and i thought you were owed at least a response!!! thank you so so so much for this kind message. you guys have been getting after me ever since i left and trust me i see every message but i just didn't know what to say? i don't even know how many of you remember me or will even see this. im sorry for that. god i can't believe its been that long. i don't know if ill ever update tra. i really intended to finish and hoped having beta readers would help but.... i think i had left the fandom at that point so it was hard to put myself back in that same space. i really want to say how i intended for it to end but there is a part of me that hopes to finish it. i just don't know when that'll be, if I even decide to. but i've been getting back into writing lately but I post on ao3 now!!! if u guys are at all interested I could answer messages privately? anyway I hope ur doing well too whoever u are and i appreciate u from the bottom of my heart!!!!!! thank you so much for your patience
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iightbringer · 2 months
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀𝓲. ︱ introduction.
hello all, thank you for taking the time to read this silly little blog intro!  my name is lucifer and you may use any pronouns you feel fit for me, i’m not picky in the least. i am nineteen, going on twenty this year and a proud virgin— i mean .. virgo. i’m terrible at writing bio’s, so here’s just a few things to know about me — i come from a land down unda, i sow chaos, confusion and mild amounts of concern in the hearts of everyone i meet and oh, did i mention how much i fucking love frogs? like, i can’t get enough of those funky little guys. that muppet has inexplicably and irreparably ruined me. and now, moving right along with a word from our sponsor, who just so happens to be the most beautiful, amazing girl in the entire world — my darling girlfriend! love you, boo <3
❝⠀⠀ hi. i'm lucifer's 𝖇𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖉 &. today i'm here 2 talk abt the one nd the only: lucifer. first, they vvv friendly. it's almost scary bc who tf is that nice. well i have news for u. they are. i'm still shy to approach them even if we're tgt bc they like. rly talented. they modest asf but they're rly good at everything they do. esp writing. nd art. like girl i can't even begin to tell u. u hve to see for yourself. also: charming. so playful but in endearing way. and. that dumbass never fails to make me smile. 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭: so. protective. their loyalty is absolutely. shocking. nd they dn't just give that away. next slide: observant. and so focused on details &. ideas. constantly thinking abt smth. seeing them brainstorm or voice their opinion will never not be fascinating. furthermore: they genuine &. best believe they'll keep it 𝟏𝟎𝟎 w u. they dn't play w bs yk. it took a lot for me to understand they hve good intentions. they're good to me, &. they treat me so well. but now ik it's bc they truly love me. to close: i'm not the type to say sappy things. even tho that's all i did. but meeting them would be so worth it. it was for me. but u better not hurt them. or i'll hve a nice chat with u. anyway. ty for reading this far. if u need me, i'll be busy planning lucifer's demise. farewell.⠀⠀❞
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀— ⠀⠀⠀ signed, 𝖒𝖔𝖗𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖎𝖆. ⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀𝓲𝓲. ︱ interests.
  ⠀⠀⠀these are the things i enjoy doing⠀…
★ ⠀⠀writing. cosplaying. crafting. roleplaying. drawing. gardening. painting. gaming. singing (badly).
  ⠀⠀⠀and these are a few of my favourite things⠀…
★ ⠀⠀horror movies. fizzy drinks. the colour white. jensen ackles. stuffed animals. religious imagery. vintage music. zombies. andrew scott. musical theatre. mod fashion. imagine dragons. aussie representation. theology. gore. trixie mattel. rainbows. mental stability. pokemon. cats. shopping. crime shows.
  ⠀⠀⠀shows i’m into ⠀…
★ ⠀⠀house m.d. supernatural. the walking dead⁺. banshee. you. hannibal. dexter. sherlock. american horror story⁺. criminal minds. scream queens. lucifer. squid game. the boys. the last of us. hazbin hotel. fallout.
  ⠀⠀⠀games i’ve played ⠀…
★ ⠀⠀bioshock⁺. mass effect. resident evil⁺. outlast. beyond: two souls. telltales the walking dead⁺. undertale. alice: madness returns. the quarry. detroit: become human. baldurs gate 3. batman: the telltale series⁺. heavy rain. alien: isolation. we happy few⁺. the last of us. until dawn. death stranding. corpse party.
and for a comprehensive list of horror movies i’ve seen, click here. 
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀𝓲𝓲𝓲. ︱ information.
if you’re interested in a roleplay with me, please do feel free to send me a message and i’ll try to get back to you as soon as possible. i do not & will not roleplay with anyone under the age of eighteen.
  ⠀⠀⠀ do not follow this account if you ⠀…
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀— ⠀⠀⠀ are sexist, any sort of phobic, racist, etc. 
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀— ⠀⠀⠀ promote/post about drugs, alcohol or smoking oorp.
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀— ⠀⠀⠀ are a nsfw blog or frequently post nsfw content.
and i think that’s all, folks. thanks for stopping by and have a lovely day, wherever you are. peace!
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bjondin · 2 months
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Ever since my situation ship ended, I haven’t been interested in anyone and really only have been with him no other guys, I haven’t really slept around. It doesn’t matter who they are or what they look like. I’m just not interested in any guy. And I don’t know why...it’s been months like a long time....He and I have been in contact here and there but trying to stick to my boundaries and what I want, (he’s tried seeing me to hookup) which I am interested in but trying to not....Is it normal to not have attraction to anyone after this? We were talking over a year and even in our last conversation he kept on saying “you just want dick” I don’t know why he’s saying that when I was describing how I feel, and how if I wanted to see him I want things to be different....he’s also been stalking my page for months and liking my posts but I’m genuinely having a hard time having interest in other guys and dating again if it’s not him and I just don’t know why? And why do I want to hookup with him again I don’t know why when he’s hurt me a lot
idk why u would ask me for advice but here goes nothing😭
tbh u should block him and move on because its simple, if he liked u he wouldnt put u in these dumb situations and i think you should work more on yourself rather than trying to find a guy to like
keep yourself busy, go out with your friends (but dont talk about him cuz then whats the point) try out new things, it may take time but eventually u will feel more secure about yourself and u will forget him so its a win-win
idk how u see it but to me its not worth it because if u have to EXPLAIN how u wanna be treated then...idk ur doing all the work🤦🏼‍♀️
anyway take care🫶🏼
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