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appleblueberry-pie · 16 hours

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Yan yuuta as a dad🤧🤨?

Despite his seemingly never-ending knowledge on parenting and how to balance his regular life with his life at home, he continuously looks to you for a second-opinion or any sort of advice/leadership when he's not 100% certain on what he's supposed to do.

I guess there would be a certain dynamic going on. You two would switch between being the one doing the chores and school pick-up/drop off with being the one that busies yourself with the children(homework, entertainment, giving them showers, etc).

Yuuta usually gets the kids to listen, but when they really want to put up an attitude and he can't reach to a middle-ground with them, he's looking to you for guidance.

I think he would actually teach the kids basic fighting skills to defend themselves if they ever get into a fight or bullying situation. The only thing he doesn't like about this is he decided to hide it from you, not knowing how you'd feel about certain defense mechanisms. You'd probably be relieved, but he just doesn't want that to constantly be on the back of your mind every time the kids leave for school.

Despite the parent dynamic, he's always the one that gets the groceries. You always make the list and give him direct instructions on what to get and he does as you say every time. There were only a few times he messed up, and despite him acting like it was the end of the world, you always forgave him. It's usually something small like a certain fruit.

He is also the one who usually drives the car. If the whole family is going out, he's the designated driver. The only time you'd take over is if your patience runs out, and no one can argue with you then. He just hands you the keys and lets you silently drive them home.

He's the ice cream dad, you're the smoothie mom.

When the kids are at school and you two are finally alone, he never ever can get what he wants from you until he finishes all possible duties needed to be done around the house. It's probably the quickest you've ever seen him finish any kind of responsibility.

Has his hand on the small on your back every time the two of you go out.

Ever since you two got married and had kids together, you don't let him approach people who hit on you the way he used to.

He used to have an incredible mean mug and would borderline threaten them.

But the move he pulls now is that when you and the sleaze are talking(or you're just barely bearing the company) is he lets the kids run up to you and crowd you. And then he lets the guy's face change before he walks up to you from behind him so he can step back and give all of you space to see what he was trying to fuck up.

They usually scoff or apologize or something stupid like that before walking off.

Even when Yuuta has a long and hard work day, gives the kids dinner, puts them to bed and winds down for the night, he still finds the energy in himself to be able to take care of you. You are his beacon of light and probably one of his only remaining reasons to keep going.

Everything about his life, he admits, sucks outside of his family. And the only reason he can live this luxury he was provided is because you gave him chance you really didn't have to give. And he will forever be grateful for the things you given him and can't repay you for your sacrifices in no other way but his own life.

You are everything he's ever hoped for and if it means giving you the comfort you deserve every single night until he can't no more, then that's exactly what he will do.

#yandere #yandere x reader #reader #yandere x you #jjk #yandere character #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #yandere yuuta x reader #yandere yuuta #yuta okkotsu #yandere yuta #yandere yuta okkotsu #yandere yuta okkotsu x reader #yandere yuta x reader #yuta x reader #yuta x reader fluff #yuta okkotsu x reader

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cannibaldetective · 3 days

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Charles being the brawn is so interesting, I mean, not entirely but I feel like it would be cool to kind of analyse both of their (charles and edwins) roles in the agency.

Charles is the brawn but was essentially beaten to death, which is interesting, and out of the two the first to protect was edwin! charles being the brawn does make sense though because he has a track record of standing up for others and enduring the pain he did as he was alive. I think this shows a sense of duality in his character, that even people who are strong need the support of others.

Edwin, didn't stand up for anybody, he was always extremely timid and shy. He was sort of in the background which he is the brains here and is the definition of the "mastermind behind it all" yknow, he's got the ideas, the plans, his death wasn't exactly planned. it was an accident!

crystal is a mix of these two, she is a result of her circumstances as well, and has both brains and brawn and in my opinion is probably the most adaptable out of the main 4, which is shown by her balance of both of these traits!! she's kind of like that missing puzzle piece- because she is! without this journey with her these two wouldn't have opened up about their trauma and explored relationships and learnt more about themselves, she's adaptable and ever changing, much like the adventures and dynamics of the story!!!

#dead boy detectives #edwin payne #edwin paine #charles rowland #crystal palace #this post is a little silly and maybe unnecessary but y'know

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cloud-somersault · 2 days

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Something that absolutely destroys me about shadowpeach is just the fact that they weren't "good" to each other. They loved each other, sure, but sometimes love just isn't enough.

They are "right person wrong time." They helped each other unintentionally go into a self-destructive paths, and the worst part is that only Wukong managed to get out of it before it ruined him.

Its just so fucked up, imagine you love someone and they love you but they are undeniably going into a path with no return but they do change and they become better, but only after you're gone.

Yeah, I think shadowpeach is compelling and interesting for the layers of tragedy it has. I really do think they're the "right person, wrong time" type of dynamic. If they met each other later on, there wouldn't have been any major problems; just ones they could address as they come up.

But I think...it's a great showing of how people can change each other. A chance interaction can change a person for life. We, as people, are made up of those interactions, the pain, the hurt, the love, the joy we've been shown and what we've given to others.

Wukong and Macaque were doing what they felt was right. In the way they felt was right. And they didn't know how to address it or be better, because confronting the communication issues and lack of respect and value means admitting there's a problem, and neither of them wanted to do that.

I don't think Macaque wanted to, he just wanted to put up with it and stay on Wukong's good side. He disregarded his own hesitations and doubts and believed in this person wholeheartedly instead of making his own decisions and choosing to go against the grain. It's hard to say "no" to the Monkey King, admittedly, but Macaque, probably, felt as if he couldn't.

In s4, he subtly tried to remove himself from the uprising against Heaven, but Wukong dragged him back in on the premise that they're "bros" and it'll be a fun "whatever" kind of time and not a life or death situation. Macaque saw that truth; Wukong refused to.

And that's a lot of Wukong's whole story - thinking he's invincible, that he's above everyone, that he's the handsomest and strongest and best ever. he was entitled and didn't like being told no. Very haughty and spoiled. A brat. He had sense and was funny and showed kindness when he needed to, but he was selfish, also.

Against all that, Macaque's in an odd position. They're friends, but Macaque is quiet. He's subtle. A shadow. Introverted and observant, he probably never felt as if his voice mattered or would change anything. But getting the attention of the Monkey King is a high honor!

And Wukong just thought Macaque was cool, another strong guy with shadow magic that he could get into mischief with. Someone like him!!

It reminds me of a dynamic you see a lot in media. The adventurous main character paired with a more shy and scared secondary character. The main character drags them around unwillingly into situations, assuring the secondary character everything will be fine. And, eventually, it takes the secondary character standing up for themselves for a change to occur.

And that's what happened in that cave.

There is tragedy...in someone you love changing after you're no longer in their life. But...it's more important that they changed at all. A lot of people don't. It's difficult to change. And Wukong was traveling (and was trapped) in this journey with people, learning and humbling himself along the way, learning friendship and love. It took that specific environment and discipline to change him, because changing the Monkey King?? Is a huge task, something that Macaque by himself couldn't do.

And that's said around this fandom like it's a bad thing. I know Macaque would see it as one, because that's his character, but...I don't know. I don't see it as one. Maybe you're not what that person needs, not at that moment, not at that time. And that's..okay. I think that's something we gotta accept.

Because we can't fix everyone. We can't hold ourselves to that standard. Just as I said before, people are collections of their interactions with others, and maybe those other people...are what Wukong needed at that moment. Maybe Macaque wasn't at a point in his life, maturity wise or life experience wise, to direct Wukong on the path to change. Maybe that wasn't his burden to bear.

Sometimes it takes a specific person to say something. With how people weave in and out of each others lives, I think the takeaway should be more "I'm glad you changed. I'm proud of you. You did it!" Like, let's focus on the end result, because...if people change for the better, than they can help others change, and maybe Wukong is the right person at this right time to help Macaque change.

#ask #anon #long post #i feel like i didn't quite respond to this correctly but #i dunno #i did my best LMFAODSJA #lmk shadowpeach #shadowpeach

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meeks-just-wants-to-scroll · 17 hours

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i am intrigued in micah x bill (belliamson? bicah??) but does vigorous fucking accidentally result of both finding a reason to live and becoming better people or do they make each other worse?? is it a fling or do they catch feels?? i want the tea on your take

Haha well my take depends on what media is present. The ship is so under appreciated that I just agree with whatever media I can find. I do love the existence of multiple takes on a ship! diversify in a fandom breeds innovation and community. I will tell you my take on what you outlined.

- one interpretation I have seen is the idea that they started some sort of gay sex truce and accidentally became closer because of it. I constantly think back to Micah openly telling Bill he looks nice and doubling down that he is being honest when Bill says he doesn’t believe what he says. ^.^ this was my catalyst for the ship.

Micah (semi-closeted bisexual?) and Bill (closeted gay) agreeing to have sex together also makes sense because although Micah and Bill snap teeth at each other often, I feel like Bill is the closest person (who isn’t Dutch) Micah has. Micah is not exactly Bill’s friend, but Micah and Bill could bond if they were drunk. Maybe they bond over being bootlickers to Dutch, who knows!

- as for if their friend with benefits situation makes them better or worse people is up to the person shipping them. I like both takes!

I don’t think either of them would inherently fix the other magically, but I can see having someone in your corner for Micah and Bill would be ground breaking because both of them have been pretty lonely whether they admit it or not. I can see both of them making small, slow efforts to not piss off the other as much. Micah stops kicking Cain because Bill REALLY hated that. Now Micah just jealously stink eyes the dog whenever he’s getting all of Bill’s attention. Bill is an asshole in his own way but he isn’t as openly antagonizing as Micah is (seriously, he is a whole other level of stirring the plot). Bill is maybe more honest and believing of Micah when Micah gives him crumbs of kindness, like compliments. The both of them need to open up and make a modicum of effort to maintain a friendship.

I haven’t seen a lot of media around Bill x Micah resulting in them improving into better people. I would be interested to see some if people find it.

- the interpretation I enjoy a lot is them being two guys who revel in their cruddy behavior because the entire gang tolerated them at best. Instead of improving as people, they accept that having this asshole as a fuck-buddy buddy is better than being alone. They aren’t better as people, their asshole behavior is just consolidated on other people as opposed to each other.

Bill and Micah being buddies came to me during the coach robbery in chapter 4. I really liked their dynamic with Arthur and how Micah + Bill could team up and make fun of Arthur because they both dislike him, but at the same time Bill could agree with Arthur to call Micah out on his gross behavior, vise versa, Micah and Arthur can agree and poke fun at Bill to get the hothead to take the bait and make a fool of himself. Perhaps Mr. Black and Mr. White is a comparison that isn’t too far off; Micah and Bill will argue and squabble but in the end they like the other person’s guts.

- as for fling vs serious, I think Micah would firmly be opposed to a serious relationship. If he were to soften to the idea of it, it would have to be after a lot of time and many small catalysts to initiate changes in him. Little domino trails that eventually lead to Micah opening himself to real connection. It definitely was a fling initially. I mean… look at Bill. He is a walking rainbow flag saying “please. I need to be bedded.” Micah is no fool and he knows if he plays his cards right, he could get a sweet deal out of the situation. Even if their situationship turned out to be mediocre, it beats lonely masturbation and Micah making a fool of himself trying to flirt with Sadie, Abigail, Susan, and Mary.

#asks #ask #bill williamson #rdr2 bill #bill rdr2 #micah bell x bill williamson #Micah bell #rdr2 micah #micah rdr2 #bill Williamson x Micah bell #meeks rambles #meek’s headcanons #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2

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nicollekidman · 2 days

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Waitttt please talk more about tashiart bc i see most ppl slander Art specifically even zendaya (which surprised me) but to me it was always art for tashi even when they first meet its clear she prefers art and wants his number, she wants art to win so badly because she wants their family but also because she wants to respect him

yeah i absolutely agree i think with the standard caveats that they all need each other in different ways and the beauty of the movie is it's up for interpretation etc etc etc

art and tashi have a different dynamic from the drop than tashi and patrick. patrick has the swagger and the bluster and he pushes at tashi like he pushes at art, but the way art chooses his words is much more careful (you screamed) and i think immediately pings to her that he has what she needs (discipline, awareness, insightfulness) in a very particular way that patrick doesn't. also i think it shouldn't be overlooked that she clocks in the hotel room that patrick is hung up on art even though art is focused on her, so i think her awareness of patrick's emotional unavailability (as it were) colors her choices going forward. like... knowing that art is tuned into her and is malleable and willing, while patrick might have the fire but he's already not aligned with her (their) priorities and the Thing that separates them is confidence, not necessarily skill..... "you can beat him. you should beat him" is her choice and its also a test.

and like. he fails it in that moment because it's a test patrick is also participating in!! but patrick and tashi don't have enough between them to sustain them, they're all bark and no real bite because he's not serious or disciplined enough to be a viable partner for her, even before she needs a surrogate. they clearly have a lot of spark but you can't sustain that. she likes when patrick pushes her but she doesn't respect him.

fast forward to 13 years of marriage.......... i get that people have the impulse to say that tashi only loves tennis or tashi can't love art because he's a lapdog or they want her to be a girlboss or whatever but like. those two deeply want/need each other it's just much more difficult for her to communicate that kind of connection than it is with patrick because patrick is simpler. he doesn't demand anything form her really, besides her anger and her body (occasionally), and both of them still exist as teenagers with endless potential in his mind, which is safe. but art is demanding everything from her, even as he's reciprocating by giving her literally every piece of himself, the way he nursed her through her injuries and she his means that like. she can't hide anywhere. so like they're not verbalizing things the same way patrick does, but the devotion is there. she never ever stops telling art he can beat patrick, and when she's not sure, she begs patrick to lose so that there's never any danger of her having to make that choice.

and like. i think art and tashi could be happy without tennis, but i think the point is that she doesn't know because they've never had to try, and even the possibility that she'd lose it all if art doesn't have it in him is enough to make her humble herself in front of patrick. which she has no reason to do unless she wants to keep him. like. they've built an entire life together, she's built art into who he is but that's a two-way process. and they end up inviting patrick back into the fold which enriches their lives and gives them the boost they need but ultimately it's still them inviting patrick into the life they've built together. i don't think it's a happy ending or really a story at all unless you think tashi loves art desperately.

#challengers #tashiart #long post //#keep in mind i haven't eaten and i just logged off so this may be a whole lot of nothing and i have More To Say but skdfjgh

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bardicbeetle · 1 day

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bite, or lack thereof - vee the vampire

“How come I never see you come back—” Cassidy cuts off, frowning like she’s trying to find the right words. “—fed." She nods toward the glass in his hand. "I’ve seen all sorts of people come out of the back room—they always look a little different than when they went in.” Another pause, frown vanishing in understanding “It’s because you’re their boss isn’t it—you think it’d be weird to bite your employees!”

The conviction she says it with startles a small laugh out of Vee. So much confidence for an incorrect answer. “No, Cassidy. That isn’t why—though I agree it would create a bit of an unfortunate dynamic if I were to bite my employees.” She’s caught him at a good moment, because he feels like giving her an actual answer for once. “While I’m aware the service I offer is a necessary one—I don’t like to partake. Be satisfied to know I have bad memories and leave it at that.”

“Wait—you don’t—you don’t bite people? Ever?”

Vee sighs. “Not in a very long time now, no.”

“Is that…hard?”

“Not anymore,” He tells her, “there were decades when it was, there are moments when it’s tempting, but it’s…” he trails off, searching for an apt comparison. “I imagine it’s alike to any minor addiction with which a person could become disgusted. Sometimes you remember fondly how it might have made you feel—most of the time you are aware it’s a bad choice no matter how you spin it.”

He’s made enough bad choices for several lifetimes. Had enough temptation for several more.

Cassidy hums, settling into the couch but still watching him more closely than he’d prefer. “Is it bad? What you’re letting people do?”

A slight smile, “What, making my kind pay for a meal—or hiring humans who happen to get off on it?” It has the desired effect, it makes Cassidy laugh, it lightens whatever questions are brewing in her head. He isn’t in that much of a giving mood.

“Gross. No—like is it dangerous for the ones doing it.”

“On occasion, there’s a reason I pay them so well.” How much value do you put on a person’s life? How much value do they put on their own? Damask isn’t cheap for those coming through the back—and likewise, those putting their lives on the line don’t walk away empty handed. “I do my best to keep casualties minimal. Mistakes happen.”

“And not mistakes.” It’s a mumble, barely audible.

Still thinking about Lauren then. Understandable.

Vee really shouldn’t have let her see that.

He won’t make the same mistake again.

“Both are dealt with in kind.” he reminds her, watching the slow repeated nod of her head. Quiet acceptance. Something like grief. What do you feel for people you don’t know? How do you sort through emotions for someone you only ever saw as a corpse?

“What’s it like?” Hesitant, soft, like when she’d asked if he was going to kill her.

“Specifics, Cassidy.”

“Getting bit, having your blood drunk, what’s it like?” She asks, “Unless you don’t remember—just ignore me if you don’t—”

“—I remember.” Vee cuts over her.

Pain and not. The rhythmic pulling of your own life leaving you. Sometimes pleasure and sometimes pressure and sometimes blinding for how it stung and later ached. The only thing grounding him for years and years and years. The moments he didn’t need to think, just bleed for other people. Not always bitten, Rin never did get used to the feeling of their teeth breaking skin—he never blamed them for going back to the blade. Scars built up only from constant use, the four points of contact in his shoulder Henry always went back to, the inner side of his forearms covered over and back over, bitten, torn, cut. Still.

The only thing that held him together back then.

Putting things out of his control.

He doesn’t say any of it.

Not tonight.

@flyingbananasaur /

@abalonetea /

@meatandboneasmr /

@captain-kraken /

@revenantlore /

@albatris /

@excessive-vampires /

@booptasticbadonkadonk /

@indecentpause /

@afoolandathief /

@dyrewrites

#writeblr #vampire writeblr #wip vtv #writers on tumblr #wip damask #character ref vf #character ref cf #lsdente #local man used to be far more self destructive (he got better) {that is only halfways a lie}

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 3 days

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Ari I’m crawling through the desert in need of water…humbly I beg & plead for your Ken-geto twin AU headcanons 🙏🙏🙏 I think they’re the only thing that can quench my soul rn

ODI . MY BELOVED . I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS WAHHHH pls take a seat and get ready for a long long rant……… i’ll do my best to quench your thirst 🙏🙏🙏

OKAY SO . god. where do i even begin………

basically!!!!! i’m writing a fic where kenny is. your best friend’s older brother <33333 the best friend in question being sugu!!! i still haven’t decided if they’re twins or if kenny is a couple years older…… buuuut either way i have lots n lots of thoughts abt their dynamic :33 and how the two of them treat you!!!! sugu is just…. your reliable, soft best friend, and kenny is . the way he is 😭 but anyway…..

i picture kenny as being a bitttt of a bad boy in this au?? not exactly. but like. he has a tongue piercing and moved out really early and he’s maybe a little bit twisted . cares abt suguru but can’t really show it. he’s silly and talkative but also a bit condescending…. a bit of a know it all…… i feel like he almost acts more like a father than an older brother sometimes which suguru absolutely hates 😭 there’s a lot of tension between them!!

personality wise i feel like suguru sort of . adapts to kenjaku? he’s a bit of a social chameleon. and he really doesn’t like the idea of people seeing them as similar…. so if kenny is acting more serious and pretentious, suguru acts more childish — and if kenny acts more silly then suguru takes a more responsible role . it’s like that!!! it’s weird bc i see suguru as being very sincere at heart, and kenny as being fairly insincere, but with the way they act you could get the impression that it’s the other way around. kenny doesn’t care abt how others view him, suguru very much does. but sugu has a sincerity to him that kenny kind of lacks?? ig it’s less that kenny is insincere and more that he’s just. detached. in a way.

also sidenote kinda but !!! i picture both sugu and kenny as sweater boys 😭😭 they LOVE their sweaters. i feel like kenny wears turtlenecks religiously. and sugu goes out of his way to wear more leather jackets and hoodies bc he doesn’t like when they’re wearing the same stuff LMAO…. kenny sometimes makes their outfits match just to piss him off <333

anddddd going back to the whole . brotherly rivalry stuff…… i think kenny was always a bit of a black sheep growing up . and bc of that suguru automatically became the golden child!!! sugu can be mischievous and bratty but he gets away w it bc he’s the youngest/good at hiding it…. and in front of their parents he’s always very straightlaced. it’s almost like suguru holds back just so that he won’t appear similar to his brother, which i think kenny kind of finds pathetic. there’s just soooo much to their dynamic 😭😭 they’re similar and different and just. gah. they give me a headache!!!! bc kenny is such a wildcard in the way that he acts, and suguru is so prone to changing himself depending on the situation he’s in.

but overall i just feel like kenny is pretentious and teasing…. and kinda mean . while sugu is well-behaved and calm, but a little more teasing and silly around people he’s close to….. and he’s also super kind . he’s warm!!!! and kenny is sort of cold. that’s the way i picture their dynamic. but it’s very fluid i think …. sometimes kenny acts like the oldest, sometimes the youngest LMAO

ANYWAYYYY gosh i’m already yapping so much 😭😭😭 I HOPE YOU’RE STILL HERE ODI ….. here’s another drink for you 🧋 .

now !!!! when it comes to their dynamic with you…… 👀👀 suguru is just a protective softie. he loves you so much!!! you’re his bestie!!!! and you’re the only one he ever acts bratty and pouty with…. he just feels comfortable around you :’3 so he can let his guard down and be a little silly… a little teasing….. but he’s always always always taking care of you . a warm sunflower boy <333333

then there’s kenny who . bullies you a bit 😭 JUST A BIT . bc he likes seeing your reactions <3 he’s kind of like your typical intimidating best friend’s brother…. a little scary ……. a bit of a dick….. he looks after you in his own way but . he doesn’t coddle you the way suguru does. when you’re kids he’s someone you look up to, but also someone you’re a tinyyyyy bit afraid of . but you get a crush on him anyway . and he has a soft spot for you. and then he leaves and doesn’t return until a couple years later ………. and he hasn’t really changed. but he’s less of a bully and more of a teaser. maybe a little condescending. but he’s charming, yk? alluring.

anyway as you can see i’m getting carried away LMAOO this fic is just . fluff?? kind of??? w a lot of tension 😭 you like kenny and he . well. you just don’t know what he’s thinking . he kind of sees you as a baby bird i think,,,,,,,,, and he’s . the big bad wolf. you get the vibes …….. here r some snippets of the fic just for fun!! it’s very near and dear to my heart hehe

—

…….. he has me in a chokehold i fear 💔

#TYSM FOR ASKING <33333 and for reading!!!!! i can’t stop yapping when it comes to kenny i’m sorry 😭😭😭#i’m still trying to figure out his personality in relation to sugu yk …. but i think. warm / cold is the best comparison #i also have manyyyy many thoughts abt reader and kenny …. how reader looks up to kenny….#how kenny maybe feels as if they’re the same. in some ways . even though you’re so much softer than he is #IT’S LIKE . the classic bad boy/good girl (gn) dynamic but …. w some . trauma bonding subtext. idk idk #ANYWAYYY ily thank you for stopping by <333 and gl with your own kenny fic!!! i saw you posting abt it hehe :3 #here r some more snacks 🥟🍤🍓🧁🍪#ask tag ✩#odi !! ✩#kenny !! ✩

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helianthus04 · 2 years

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i love when characters hate each other and love each other at the same time, when they want to be kind to each other but they don’t know how, and they want the same things but they don’t, and when they get angry at each other because they care too much, and they’re sick of each other but they can’t leave each other behind

#this is specifically about #jontim #and #arthur and john malevolent #but i need more people with this kind of dynamic #tma #malevolent #character dynamics #okay adding kepler and jacobi to this actually #w359 #also #yatora and yotasuke #yatoyota #blue period #snowbaz #carryon

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nat20composure · 4 months

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Astarion and Agency- The Necessity of Discomfort to Self Discovery and the Infantilization of Victims

Minor Astarion discourse ahead that mentions the treatment of SA victims post-abuse:

I want to open this post up just with like. The statement that I don't think there is a correct way to enjoy media and that I LOVE to see individual head cannons and takes on characters in media. I think that is also, to a degree, an integral part of video games because of how unique the experience of playing a game will be to every person who plays it. But it has been making me feel so incredibly sad looking through fan content, art, or discourse for BG3 specifically because of how many people have taken the route of infantilizing Astarion.

I understand the instinct to shield or protect an individual that you love and care for. I also understand that because of the nature of the things that Astarion goes through, a lot of people also feel very deep emotional stakes in him. I'm one of the many fans of the character who is a victim of SA and CSA, I really do get it. That is also why for me personally it is so demoralizing to watch so many people treat him like he is a child who cannot make his own decisions or stand up for himself. Part of that frustration stems from it feeling like a media literacy issue, and the other part of that sense of defeat is just because it feels indicative of a broader attitude that people seem to hold towards victims of abuse, particularly those who are victims of SA.

To explain what I mean by people infantilizing him: I see so many people refuse to allow him the opportunity to be hurt, or to feel uncomfortable. They see this character who has been through an immensely horrible and traumatic experience, and their instinct is to try and shield him from anything else that has the potential to upset him. I get that the people who want that aren't doing it with malicious intent, but frankly it is not really...Helpful? To try and prevent victims from Experiencing Discomfort tm. I also think it kind of disregards the entire thesis of Astarion's character and arc.

When you go through something that robs you of your selfhood and agency, the world can become a crushingly terrifying place. In Astarion, that fear presents itself in a desperation for power, control, and at the core of both of these desires- Safety. One thing the game is clear about is that he has a right to kill his abuser. He has a right to escape his situation. A lot of Astarion's personal arc is centered around being able to finally do that. But the game doesn't just leave it off at getting him to safety. So much of it is also about him needing to take responsibility for himself and his actions, with needing to learn who he as a person is.

The inclusion of the Gur children and Sebastian as characters is a good example of ways in which the game gives Astarion the opportunity to take responsibility. I think that if the intention of the arc was meant to be that "Astarion should never ever have to deal with being afraid or uncomfortable again", then the Ascended arc wouldn't Come with such heavy moral ramifications, like sacrificing the other people just like him, killing the victims he lured in, literal child murder. The game infers that he doesn't deserve to die because of the things he Needed to do to survive, but it also makes it very clear that there is a difference between addressing an Active Threat and using your fear as an excuse to hurt others. Breaking that cycle of abuse when he finally gets the chance to is what separates Spawn Astarion from Cazador.

Taking responsibility for himself, and letting himself sit in the discomfort of vulnerability ultimately ends up being a thing that he is very proud of and cherishes. If you tell him you will make sure nothing like that ever again he himself says that he doesn't want you to be his protector. And so it blows my mind when people go into all of these discussions about Astarion with this...Weird moral high ground for never, ever making or letting him make choices that might hurt him?

I see this the most when it comes to discussions about the possible polyamorous relationship with Halsin and the interaction with the drow twins in the brothel. So many people are just...outright angry? At other people engaging with either of those options? And I feel like that anger is one) rooted in the projection of their Own feelings on non-monogamy and what a victim of SA can or cannot look like. and two) Relies on undermining the agency that Astarion BEGS you for at every turn.

When it comes to the drow twins, the game adapts Astarion's response to them based on where he is in his own personal development (a really cool thing imo). Obviously, if he still doesn't feel good or safe about engaging with sex he declines and says you can feel free, though he hopes you aren't just doing it because he hasn't had sex with you. I think this makes sense: He's just gotten out of a situation where his Safety and worth were directly tied to him having sex. I imagine he feels afraid that not wanting to have sex with you makes him replaceable or inadequate because at this point in the game, he feels like that's all he has to offer. The interaction is relatively the same if you ask him for a poly amorous relationship with Halsin: He just asks you to reassure him that you aren't only doing it because he hasn't had sex with you, and then tells you he isn't worried about it otherwise.

A lot of people have taken the expression of that insecurity in combination with him still allowing you to go forward and do these things as him just "sucking it up" because he's afraid of losing you. (I am aware Shadowheart says he wouldn't be able to handle it when you ask her if you can date both of them- But keep in mind, Astarion says she wouldn't be able to either, and THAT obviously isn't true of her. For the purposes of this discussion I'm only including interactions with Astarion as a judgement of his character.) I understand that concern, but I feel this take disregards so many other points of dialogue, and is also continually rooted in the baseline vilification of discomfort.

To further go into it, the way that he speaks about both of these interactions changes significantly if you speak to him about it once he is completely free from Cazador, and has had time to allow himself to start reconnecting with himself and his sexuality on his terms. He has absolutely No reservations about an open or poly relationship with Halsin, and says he trusts that things will be ok because he one) feels secure in Your relationship and two) Knows Halsin is experienced and trusts him to not be a messy bitch about it.

I think that shift, in combination with the in game explanation of why he isn't ok with being in that sort of relationship with the other Origin Characters (for Lae'zel and Wyll, he says they'd never agree to that. For Shadowheart, he says she's not experienced with open relationships and that he doesn't think it'd work out. For Karlach, that it would break her heart. And for Gale, he says you need standards.) is a pretty good indicator that he doesn't actually care about polyamory or monogamy. I think the vilification of that choice relies on you picking and choosing when you do or do not believe Astarion or just outright not liking non-monogamy in the first place. This interaction has more to do with the player's choice and comfort level, and so is not as important to the broader discussion I am trying to have in this post.

The interaction that is more pertinent to not Allowing him to make decisions is, I think, the drow twins. If you interact with the drow twins after the completion of the Cazador questline, he is outright giddy at the prospect of interacting with the Drow twins. Specifically stating that he is excited to see how he likes these sorts of things now that he's free.

NOW- I do NOT think that he enjoys the act. The game makes that abundantly clear, and I'm not arguing that he has a great time. He obviously does not, and dissociates during it. That being said, allowing this interaction to happen does not make a player evil or selfish. You are not playing the hero if you decide to moderate his choices just because you do not think he is ready for it. Once again, no one is evil for Not doing it either, and I am not saying anybody has to want to. I am just saying that treating this choice like it is an evil choice to make relies on completely disregarding what He wants to do.

Astarion says so many times in the game that he is anxious about finally having the freedom to find out what he wants to do, and I think that his excitement for the drow twin exchange is one of the opportunities the game gives him to make a choice. He makes that choice- And it sucks for him. He doesn't enjoy the act, and having done it he would be able to move forward knowing that. I think it's really cool and important that the game represents that facet of recovering as a victim. While you are trying to renavigate who you are, you are going to make a million new choices you never had before. And sometimes those choices are going to suck ass. It would be a different matter if he knew these things would hurt him and went ahead and did them anyway. But so many people expect him to move forward avoiding even the Potential of being hurt, and I think that is extremely reductive of his arc and who he is.

Beyond the matter of interpersonal relationships, the choice between Ascending or not Ascending Astarion is not a matter of choosing the lesser of two evils. It is a choice between his fear and his humanity. Between letting his trauma and his fear define him for the rest of his immortal life, and allowing him the vulnerability of deciding who he is when he isn't running from the world. When he's willing to listen to the parts of himself that want to do right, that wants meaningful connection, that wants to be proud of himself. That wants to meet himself. To confront who he is when someone else isn't deciding that for him.

Astarion as a character is extremely ambitious, inquisitive, and adventurous, three traits that only become more and more evident as he breaks free from letting his own fear dictate how he lives his life. I don't understand how so many people can see him and want to take the core of his character away from him, when he spends the entire game fighting desperately to take it back.

Victims are not casts of the abuse they have gone through. Their shapes may be changed by the hands of others, they may have to relearn how to be the person they want to be. But they are not broken or irreparable or fragile. They do not need to be freed from the grip of one person to be held tight in the grip of another. It is so fucking unfair and self-important to think that your hands will be the ones that fix them. That your hands know better than theirs. I think the kindest thing you can do for a person is to trust them with themselves, and to listen when they tell you who they are and what they want. Please listen to the voices that have only just learned to speak. It is the only way they can get better at doing it.

#astarion #astarion bg3 #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion ancunin #I know this is kind of overdramatic #but like pls pls pls pls #ask yourself why you feel the need to protect victims from the experience of growth #and then consider if that attitude is a fair or helpful one #because freedom includes the right to make choices. even stupid painful ones.#that being said this essay is more for people who played the game exclusively making choices they thought would make astarion comfortable #like ascending him or not participating in polyamory #this essay is NOT for people who just ascended him for dom dialogue with him #bc I think it is a bit silly to tell people who wanted a toxic make him worse dynamic #that they are enabiling toxicity and making him worse #this is just an alternative pov for people who genuinely think it is for the best to do these things

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