#but it would be wild to think that people in their 30-ies aren't old enough to make their own decisions. Let's be real | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

left4denver · 3 months

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hey y'all! this is peyton [sh/th, 21+, cst—also the mun of dylan, selena, mouse & hyeon] and this time i'm bringing you guys hakgojae gallery's foh manager, oh dabin :~) you can view his stats here, his pinterest here & read all about him under the cut! i prefer discord so pleasssee hit me up at #seamonkeydefender

born and raised in seoul, dabin is a city boy to his core. his parents aren't "rich", but they're pretty damn comfortable—as a result, dabin is... a little... spoiled...

picky, difficult kid. not necessarily mean, but does have an attitude that seems to suggest he thinks he's above other people; his parents have him spend a lot of time with his maternal grandparents in jeju-do to kind of combat this problem as they're very hard workers and very humble people. worth noting that his grandmother is a haenyo/female diver, very much the breadwinner of their household and after dabin gets past all the judgment and whiny ass "you smell like seaweed! i hate you!" tantrums, she instills a very strong admiration/respect for women in him

anyway, as if that doesn't put him in his place, his parents having another kid when dabin is already 10 does LMFAOOOO... no longer the baby of the family, has to step up and help his parents out (as much as a 10yr old can) with the baby. it's a bummer. he fuckin' hates that kid for the first two months of her life, and then all of a sudden he loves her more than he's probably ever loved anything

sparknotes: by the time he's reaching his teenager years, dabin is mostly humble but extremely wild / daredevil, likes to do shit just for thrills / gets in a lot of trouble, is arrested a few times in his late teens & early adulthood and ends up being assigned community service hours as part of his sentence / becomes very compassionate in this timeframe as he learns about world issues and what he can do to make a change / ends up enlisting and then going to college a bit late (paid for in full by his parents who just want to see him improve his life), undecided major at first but eventually settles on art history (useless ass degree if you ask his dad LOLLL) / gets his bachelor's degree in 2018 and then his master's in 2021, by the time he finishes his master's he has drastically mellowed out / gets a job at hakgojae gallery as an art handler, eventually works his way up to being the foh manager oh yeahhh...

so here he is now. a 30 year old man who's Been There, Done That and just wants peace now. he's extremely smart, but also is well aware that he doesn't know everything and is always happy to learn something new. passionate about things such as animal rights, climate change, women's rights, etc etc, still volunteers often even though he fulfilled his requirements a while ago. reads a lot of books about self-improvement and various informative topics.

still kinda pretentious ngl... but i'm sure that vibe carries through enough in this intro that i don't even have to say it, LMFAO. that said, he is a very well-meaning dude; his intentions are pure, and he's trying every day to be better than he was yesterday.

other info: type to drink wine at 2pm on a wednesday / passionate about south korea and especially about seoul, has a side hustle/hobby of giving newcomes or vacationers personalized tours / his favorite season is autumn if u even care / really warm guy, strives to be a pillar for others to lean against and a friend for them to confide in / has a russian blue cat named willow, humoring the idea of getting a second cat so willow isn't alone when he leaves for work / king of making lists, very organized man!

plot ideas

y'all already know, but if you don't: i love extensive plotting and building storylines together from scratch, so if you're into this too, hit me up! let's talk about every little detail <3 but i'm also 100% down to jump into a base idea and just see where it goes. that said, here are some ideas:

friends of dabin's younger sister. she's about 20/21, so these friends would probably be in that age range but rly it could be anyone who knows her from uni as well—regardless, dabin will be a surrogate big bro to them :~)

also just random young adults he's taken under his wing... he acts like he's 50yrs old the way he's always like "i was young once. i get it. but because i was young once, i can also tell you you're being dumb as hell and you're gonna be embarrassed when you look back on these years" like dude... chill

aspiring artists who want to get their work showcased at hakgojae gallery and figure the best way (re: shortcut) to do that is to make nice with the manager

someone kind of new to seoul who dabin had a mutual (npc) connection with and as a result, welcomed them very warmly into the city/gave them a tour and helped them get settled in and all that

similar aged friends... people he met in uni, people he went absolutely wild with in his early 20's and now they're (probably?) both kind of settled down - but man, ain't it fun to reminisce?

pretentious art buddies, film buffs, whateverrrr

a budding artist who dabin is actually a big ass fan of

someone who volunteers at the same animal shelter as him

some girl who thinks he's stupid and fake as fuck 'cause he's soooooo loud and proud about "being a feminist" JDJFHBSDJ

etc etc... down for anything!

#jongno:hello #this is a sideblog / i dm from impulsetheories

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leespinoodle · 2 years

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I was thinking about ways in which I could make Ice Age sad, as one does, so let's talk about which of the main trio is dying first. Strap in, this one's a bit long, but worth a read and very educational.

The average lifespan of a woolly mammoth was about 60 years, similar to modern-day elephants. Sabertooth tigers lived about 20-40 years (let's just say 30 for simplicity's sake), about 15 more years than their closest living relative, the clouded leopard. I couldn’t find any information on the lifespan of giant ground sloths because apparently nobody cares about ground sloths, but based on my research into megafauna, we can assume it was around the 20 years of modern-day sloths, perhaps even up to 30 years. Judging by their physical appearances, behaviors, and the fact that Manny has only had one mate and kid by Ice Age 1 and Diego and Sid have presumably never had one, we can guess that Manny is around 20 and Diego and Sid are AT LEAST 3, though they're almost definitely a little older than that (maybe 5).

So Manny's definitely going to outlive his friends, but who's dying first: Sid or Diego? They live together in a very protected area, so normal predation and severe weather conditions such as blizzards aren't an issue, and Sid's own stupidity isn't going to get him killed since he has plenty of other people watching his back (can you call anthropomorphic animals "people"?). They are shown to live amongst a variety of other (mainly herbivorous) animals, so it's safe to assume they have access to water and herbage. The only things they need to worry about are illness/injury or food (in Diego's case, or in the case of a drought).

If a drought happens, that'll increase the chance of dying for all of them, so we can just ignore that. When it comes to food, Diego either has to hunt or scavenge. He is seen hunting in Ice Age 3, so this is probably his main way of getting food. Sabertooth tigers hunted in packs, so hunting alone (I do not respect Ice Age 4 or 5) would make hunting much more difficult, but not impossible. He would probably only be able to hunt small animals, like the deer in Ice Age 3, which should be enough to feed a single smilodon.

Illness/injury is always a threat in the wild, as it reduces an animals ability to protect or feed itself. However, we've already addressed that by living in a group, just like many social animals of today, they have people to protect and care for them while they recover. Except Diego. If Diego is unable to hunt for himself (how he managed to get by after that fight with Soto, we can only guess), it's very unlikely that he'd be able to get enough food to recover well. I'm certain that Manny and Sid would do their best to scavenge things for him to eat, but they aren't predatory animals. They aren't built to hunt, and I don't think they'd mentally be able to go out and kill other animals on the daily.

In Ice Age 3, when Diego is unable to catch the deer due to being out of shape, he just straight-up doesn't get to eat. Even if he were to survive the recovery process, if he was injured in a way that permanently affected his ability to hunt (for example, a lame leg or blindness), he would have a very rough time surviving. In real-life cases of solitary hunting animals that have been permanently injured, they often resort to attacking whatever the easiest prey available (humans in many cases), even if it isn't a part of their typical diet. Diego can't do this, as the easiest prey available is his neighbors, and I don't think that he has it in him after Ice Age 1 to eat anyone he talks to on at least a semi-regular basis, let alone what anyone else's reaction would be.

Most animals are usually considered old when they are 3/4ths of the way through their life, so by his earlier 20s, Diego's physical abilities, and by extension his ability to hunt, would be declining regardless of any injury or illness. While Manny and Sid will be able to eat and live comfortably well into their geriatric years, Diego's health will be taking a turn long before anyone else (except the possums, which have a lifespan of about 4 years, but they’re at least twelve years old already if we assume that Ellie was at the youngest possible age to be an adult in Ice Age 2).

#ice age #ice age diego #ice age sid #ice age manny

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kagakuoniryu · 2 years

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Hello! Love your writing! Could i please request some smut (or regular if you are not comfortable) headcannons with Zed and his lover which is most probably also in the order? Thank you so much!

Synopsis :

Zed nsfw headcanon

Type :

Headcanon

Warning :

Nsfw obviously so most subjects touching nsfw are mentionned even if I didn't covered everything

A/N :

It's been a few days in a row I've been active and catching up everything, so don't worry I'm writing the request in order I get them, and prioritizing league request since I'm more into league lore right now!

~~~~~~~~~~

We won't go straight nsfw I'm going to give some context before for how old I think zed is (it's imoortant for some point)

So I believed he left the kinkou when he was between 14 and 16 years old

And killed kusho in his early 20

That being said akali and kayn were around 9/10 years old at that time

And now they're adult themselves

So at least 10 years have passed and zed is at least 30, just like shen

Now zed being 30 mean he has at least some experiences when it comes to sex, he know what he won't do under any circumstances and what he like to do

However if you ask him to try something new, and if it's not on his no-no list he is willing to give it a try

His no-no list is a bunch of too extreme kink like physically hurting his partner, threatening them and such

He can degrade you if you ask, or tie you up with his shadow, but not that much on the hurting someone side

He became an assassin to save people not the other way around

He also won't like it if you try to hurt him, he believe in firms bondaries, will respect yours and expect you to respect his

However something he would definitely want to try on you his making one of his shadow make love to you while he just watch you squirm

Special training session who end up into an other type of training can and will happen

He has good stamina, you can thank his kinkou training for that, can honestly go for multiple round but usually you won't need it, one round with him last long and don't stop until everyone got his fill

Try to pull his hair once, I dare you, if you do without warning you'll see his eyes roll back and he'll let out such a pretty moan, print this ilage in your head because you won't caught him by surprise twice

Since most of his outfits cover his body quite well you can go wild on scratch, bite and hickey, he like them, but don't make them in place too obvious, the base of his neck and his thighs are his favorite place to receive them

He don't mind receiving oral, he'll guide you through it but is more of a giver than a receiver that mouth know to do way much more than giving order to his acolyte if you know what I mean

Quickies aren't his things, he don't want to rush when the two of you are intimate, he is able to wait and wait a long time for the two of you to be really alone

This lead to me saying that he prefer a bedroom to have sex, wether in a inn or a temple where he currently live, as long as the two of you will be alone for enough time

By the way if you really can't wait, since quickies aren't an option and if there aren't TOO MANY people around he'll make you sit on his thigh, hoping that it would help even a little

Even if the order know the two of you are dating nobody caught the two of you in the act, zed his private about his intilate life and it's not ready to change, you usually don't entertain them either for the sake of your boyfriend

His favorites positions in bed are either missionary or cowgirl, missionary with him on top and cowgirl with you on top, it depend if he feel like a service dom or a nice sub

When he decide to sub, it's with someone he trust deeply to let them have control over him, he don't let much people have it so feel lucky it's also most likely to hapoen when he is very tired

I just know that he doesn't practice angry sex or jealousy sex or anything, he suppress most of his emotions first of all, even his love for you isn't express to it's fullest, and second he is quite mature due to his age, he prefer to talk through it if someone or something bother him that much and then when it's settle down show you his appreciation for putting up with him

I don't know how to finish theses headcanon so I'll just say that he seems to be a great partner when it comes to being intimate, he gives more than he takes (except when he doesn't care about the other person) and is always kin on consent and pleasure to both parties, ready to try most things and listen to his partner wishes

~hope you'll like it~

🌸Request are open🌸

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darkarfs · 1 year

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So! I don't go to many concerts by myself, especially on the outskirts. The busses don't run that late and the trip usually isn't worth it. One of the things I like to do at concerts is check who is wearing what. I like spotting things like who bought a shirt there, who's wearing what and what for. Counting how many have conflicting shirts on (Devin Townsend, Animals as Leaders and Dream Theater were playing the same night at a venue 3 hours away), curious things like that. Like, seeing a Ne Obliviscaris hoodie in the wild is fun. Thinking to myself "I didn't know Pain of Salvation had t-shirts." Seeing the old heads in Scorpions and Megadeth t-shirts. I spotted two people that I'm guessing were being "funny" wearing, respectively, a Tom Jones and a Barbara Streisand shirt. Oh, you cards! You pixies! Feh. Aren't YOU interesting. I kid, for the most part. Whether or not I care to admit it, these are my people. Metal crowds are, far and away, the most accepting crowds I have ever been around. Unless yous aw Drudkh in their heyday. Rivers of Nihil are a technical/prog death metal band from nearby Reading. They were fine, but they are also one of those bands whose songs tend to blend together after like, the 4th one. In fairness, I've seen them before, and the last time I saw them was around 2018, and they had a saxophone player. They were very good, but I wasn't engaged. Thank You Scientist are a high-pitched yelly modern prog band. Their singer looks like a cross between Bunsen Honeydew and Mike Doughty and sounds like that doofus from Coheed and Cambria. The band, especially the saxophone player, looked and sounded like they were having the time of their LIVES. Airtight, doodly fun, but not especially the kind of music I tend to enjoy. Still, they had a great energy and enthusiasm. And they were nice guys. Everyone was there for Between the Buried and Me. I didn't realize that this was the tour commemorating the 10 year anniversary of the Parallax II: Future Sequence, their 2012 album, which meant they were probably going to play that one, start to finish. Confirmed. Not especially familiar with MOST of that album, but there were people singing along to ALL OF IT and I was at once impressed and surprised that this band had this obsessive a fanbase (I am clearly a dumbshit), but it was really enjoyable. It helped that they had these 5 massive LED screens behind them essentially playing HD Koyaanisqatsi footage of things like deserts and cities and hawks catching fish out of the water and new planets with rings and coronas and solar flares and astronauts and galaxies and that they were perfectly timed with every riff and drum fill. It was incredibly well-timed and choreographed. They also strobed rainbow lights directly at my eyeline every 8 seconds and it gave me a migraine 3 songs in. Also, aside from the 25-minute bus ride, I had essentially been on my feet since 6:30 that morning and my feet were dying. I was running out of gas. Two minutes into the second-to-last song ("Silent Flight Parliament"), the lights drop to black. I, maybe alone, thought that they would come back up in a crescendo, based on the light show. But no, ALL of the lights are out. The only thing you can hear is the drummer because he hasn't stopped. Cell phone lights are brandished. Event staff take the stage, people are booing. They finally get everyone calmed down enough to tell them that a transformer exploded, knocking out the power to half of the neighborhood, and that we are to evacuate in an orderly fashion. More booing, people somehow get sweatier. We get outside and it's like the Omega Man, except with a slight rainy haze. There are no lamps or signs, only phones and headlights providing any illumination. Police sirens EVERYWHERE. Thank God I had a ride home. My apprehensions about going, turns out, were absolutely correct, but I'm very glad I went all the same. If nothing else, I got my shirts. :)

#Faith No More - A Small Victory #also not for nothing but prog-metal nerds must be of a type because I saw a lot of the same person at this show

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fabdante · 7 months

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16, 26, 30 and 31!

for this ask list! (thank you for the ask!! i finally got to my laptop to answer!)

16) Want any tattoos? What of?

Oooo, I love tattoos but have been taking a really long time considering what I want asdfghj. Plus a lot of my favorite artists are tattoo artists, as a lover of line art. If I could travel the world, I would probably have a lot of tattoos because of this, just collecting flash designs from my favorite artists dfghjkl.

Other then that, ideas that stick the most from my own head are some dandelions on my arm where I can see them. I've thought about getting some sentimental handwriting there to. And maybe little tributes to Treasure Planet and the reboot as well.

26) What are some seemingly childish things you like?

I love dolls! Especially fashion dolls! I finally caved in and started collecting them a few years ago. I try to be selective about it because like, I don't need a ton of dolls in my house and I don't want to be one of those collectors buying up all the dolls so kids can't have them.

I also love plushies. My biggest weak spots are anything crab shaped, Pokemon starters I've had, and any Cubones I will cry if I see a Cubone plush in the wild.

30) What are you looking forward to in the near future?

First and foremost, my non art job either laying me off when the season is over or being able to renegotiate my contract if they want keep me on post season dfghjkl. It brings me great comfort to know there's an end in sight there.

I'm excited for ZK week coming up, of course. I have a piece I've been absolutely dying to show people, so I'm really excited to finally share it because I've been sitting on it for like...A While Now. I also figured out an extra idea that's different then what I normally do which is fun and exciting to me. In general I have a lot of art that I've been excited about and look foreword to finishing!

There's a lot of mundane things, honestly. I have some very belated packages that I can finally (comfortably) afford to send in the mail so I'm excited to get those finished up and mailed off. There's an art show near me for some friends of mine that I'm really excited about! I've also been excited to write things lately. For a while I was only managing a few words a night but I've gotten back some love for some old WIPs and I'm excited to work on them a bit. There's also some artists I'm planning to buy some stuff from soon which is always fun for me. Also I will probably get to see my great aunt next month, and I always love seeing her!

This a little longer then I anticipated but it's is a very good question because my non art job has had me down in the dumps and honestly, it's good for me to think about all the good things I have going on in the next month or so that aren't waiting to know if I've been laid off asdfghjk

31) What are you looking forward to in the distant future?

Doing more conventions and art markets! It's an avenue I'm excited to explore with my art and see what happens! I'm also excited to try and launch Alice in Grungeland next year online. It'll be cool to get that project out there!

I'm looking foreword to the time I can support myself with some sort of art job. I know it'll take time and work but I am very eager for the day that either I can get An Art Job tm or I can be an independent artist and support myself. Or, or, I can go back to school and get enough education that I can teach in a college setting. Because I enjoy talking to people about art and helping people with their art in that type of setting, I just can't afford to go back to get a higher degree then I already have right now. But one day, maybe. Like, all and all I've had a really lucky year as an artist where I was able to support my household for a few rough months (albeit on strings) via my art but it has left me a bit hungry to do it full time.

Also one day purchasing the Samurai Champloo vinyl collection. I want the soundtrack vinyls. I want all four of them. I want to make this happen for me sdfghjkl.

#ask #fab talks #fabtalks #the sam cham vinyls have been my 'when i get a big girl job' reward for years but my current job has been such A Time i have considered #getting one or all four early asdfghjkl #also genuinely i mean it question 30 was good for me i think asdfghjk i saw it before my shift today and thought about it on and off #the whole time and it was very helpful in re contextualizing my life currently #anyway i love tattoos so much for someone so nervous to get one asdfghjk i just want to be really sure and i'm very picky about artists

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egocentered · 1 year

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The object of my latest fantasies very unexpectidely replied to me on a social media post. How to put that... I felt like an euphoric hormonefull teen for a good 30 seconds (yeah that short; hormones aren't what they used to be), but oh my goodness; the rush in my blood vessels, the racing of the heart (mind the heart attack)!! I clearly found myself giggling like a school girl, which is so unlike me and required a cigarette to regain my old grown-up composure.

It was quite straightforward, not even words, but of course I'm all for details and what it means is that, first, he actually reads the comments of us mere mortals, and then he took time of his existence to read what I wrote and, out of kindness and respect about my genuine curiosity, estimated my question was worth an explanation. Therefore, with his neat soft sexy fingers, he pressed 'reply' under my comment and took again of his existing and breathing time as well to carefully think of the best answer to give me so it could be clear enough - and yet if I was completely dumb I may not have gotten it (was he testing me? that's my wild imagination speaking) - but not too friendly because he usually doesn't reply to common followers he doesn't personnaly know irl - let's not make a habit of it because fans are crazy as fuck - and finally pressed 'send'.

I felt seen and it felt great. SO so great.

Of course, I had to answer, an answer I thoroughly thought about before proceeding, because, I didn't want to sound stupid (which I'm not but my mind went sort of blank under such dopamine rush to the brain) nor ordinary saying "I'm your biggest fan" or "I want to get in your pants" and even less "Please follow me back I have such great taste". I ended up simply and boringly thanking him, like a normal person talking to another normal person, which he is not since, as previously stated, he's the object of my fantasies hence making him a quite extraordinary living being. On a very very aside and little italic note, could you ever imagine being fantasized upon? Would you even realize or even consider the kind of feelings you trigger in someone's body and mind? I mean, all these popular people certainly have no idea of the magnitude of their impact on twisted minds hidden behind so many cute and polite comments. So fucking scary. And arousing. Please get help.

I will not go into the details here of all that my overflowing imagination has generated, because enough is enough, and I have a fanfiction account to feed after all, let's keep the material for that.

#had to get this out of my system #the shameless ramble #of me fangirling #i still feel things it seems #it's not that deep #but i'm quite ecstatic about it still #text #spilled thoughts #fantasies

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heybuddyitsmehai · 2 years

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✨50 Reasons Why Claire is My Favorite Gal ✨

So this was a little book thing with prompts that I hand wrote in all my answers in, but the video of me showing it was too long!! 😭😩 So here they are in sentence form! Lol I hope it works okay!! 😅

1. You are the best gal in the world.

2. You have the best taste in clothes.

3. You give the best advice about everything honestly! Your perspective helps me to interpret my own.

4. I still smile about that time we video chatted and had tea time! It just gives me warm fuzzies🥰

5. I am completely jealous of your eyes!!! So pretty!!! ☺️

6. You make my day just by saying hi! You make me feel safe.

7. You have the funniest memes of all time.

8. You are the best encourager!

9. Where would I be without your daily check-ins? Who else would tell me when to eat or drink water?!

10. You are crazy talented at interior design!! Omg!

11. You have the best laugh! It makes me laugh too!!!

12. If you wanted to you could be a best-selling author or marry Richard Madden 😌

13. I enjoy bragging to other people about your creativity and sense of humor.

14. You deserve the Best Baker Award.

15. If you were a holiday you would be Halloween or Summer Solstice! Halloween is my favorite but Summer Solstice is more your vibe :)

16. I have the best time "going" to the city with you! I like showing little happy things about my life.

17. Flowers, watercolors, and sunshine remind me of you.

18. We'd make the best bookstore owners, therapists, or TV show writers of all time.

19. It's fantastic how you inspire me when you talk about love. I don't have enough space but hearing you love love makes me hopeful.

20. Your superhuman rowing skills should be studied by science.

21. You're the best at understanding when I need space to calm down. You never get upset with me and I'm so thankful!

22. I love that you actually enjoy talking to me every day!

23. If you were an animal you would be a doe or a bluejay! Serene, wise, beloved, and cheerful.

24. You make me want to be a better person. You taught me how to love myself better than I knew before.

25. I wish I knew your secret for pretty fingernails!

26. It would be the best to see you during Halloween! Two of my favorites at once :')

27. I love watching people react to your writing! You're so talented and people need to realize it!! 😤

28. Everyone should be as thoughtful as you!

29. You make the best playlists.

30. It's the best to play yearning (?) haha! with you

31. I believe the world needs your unique perspective. You're so full of empathy and kindness.

32. Lorde (you) and Olivia Wilde ?? (me) should play is in the movie about our friendship.

33. You get my medical need for Leo West better than anyone else.

34. We should totally visit Galaxy's Edge someday! Or Italy! Or Greece! Or anywhere honestly!

35. You just keep getting better at being the world's best Scotswoman :')

36. You deserve the best of everything!

37. If we could bottle your snarkiness and sell it, we'd make a fortune.

38. It is supremely funny when you scold me for being a whore 😌

39. I am eternally grateful that you asked if I liked Maggie Rogers. I dont know who I would be without your influence!! 🥺

40. You will always be better than me at rowing/making tea/yearning/doing a Scottish accent

41. If you were a color you'd be light blue or lavender

42. Somehow I never get bored of your puns

43. I can't wait to see what happens when we get to hang out in real life one day! So many shenanigans and so many hugs :')

44. I love how you care about everyone. You're so empathetic and kind and genuine even if others arent that way towards you.

45. I love how you don't care about social media and aren't concerned with content creation. You just follow your instincts and I think that's very wise of you!

46. When we're old let's wear Mandalorian armor around the nursing home.

47. I always want to hear what you're going to say about pretty much everything! But especially when I send a new meme or if I get a little spicier than usual. 😌

48. If you were a junk food item, you'd be peach rings candy! Sweet, a hint of sour, their aesthetic is on point, AND they're super fun to wear on your fingers 😌

49. It's absolutely the best when you send me treats if I'm having a bad day or I'm feeling anxious 🥺 you get me and I'm so thankful!!

50. I am so grateful that you continually choose to be my friend! I don't deserve you!

MWAH !! HAPPY FRIENDIVERSARY ✨🪩🎉

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deidaratheartboi · 3 years

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Dinner

Kisame and Itachi go to dinner together. It was a normal day in the Akastuki hideout. Kisame: I'm bored Itachi: Same Kisame: Hey I have coupons for a diner in the village nearby we could go eat there Itachi: I have nothing to do so why not Hian and Kakuzu were eavesdropping nearby. Hidan: Ohh dinner huh? How about we make it a little interesting? Kakuzu: Yeeaahh Sasori: You two aren't thinking about crashing their dinner plan were you? Because me and Deidara were going to. Deidara: We were? Hidan: How about a team effort huh? Sasori: Works for me Deidara: What's going on? Kakuzu: Just follow our lead ------------------------------------------------- Kisame and Itachi find the diner called "The Dragon’s Kin" Itachu: The food sounds spicy Kisame: Maybe it is I have no idea about this place They walk in. It was a small diner with mediocre decorations but, it was packed. A waiter (who is Deidara) come up to them. Deidara: Follow me this way to your seats (In a French accent) Itachi: I thought this was a Japanese restaurant Kisame: Diversity? They sit down and look at the menus. Itachi: I would like the tempura, Udon, and hanami-dango ( I didn't know what they were called at first) Kisame: I would like the same. Deidara: I took you as a Shark Fin Soup guy Kisame: Is that you attempting to be funny? Deidara: What about drinks?

Itachi: Green Tea Deidara: Alright coming right up and if you stay a little longer you can enter our contest. Itachi: About what? Deidara yeeted into the kitchen. Deidara: We need two orders of Tempura, Udon, and Dango also Green Tea. Sasori: Seriously? A French accent? Deidara: What? Hidan: I can't fucking cook Kakuzu: Just follow the damned recipe book 30 minutes later Hidan: Where the fuck is the flour? Who took my damn spatula? Wait did I put salt or sugar in that? Kakuzu: Hidan people are getting angry just come on with the food Hidan: Oi don't rush me baka! 1 hour later Deidara comes out and give everyone their food. Itachi: This looks... disgusting Kisame: I hate to say it but, yeah who is the chef? Guy 1: HEY MY SWEET AND SOUR PORK ISN't SWEET AT ALL IT's SALTY AS HELL Guy 2: I DIDN'T ORDER LEMONADE I ORDERED A LEMON SALAD (I'm making this up unless it's real) Hidan: Fuck you both. That pork isn't as salty as you. AND WHAT THE FUCK IS LEMON SALAD I SWEAR YOU VEGANS! (No hate tho) Woman 1: Listen here old man me and my son have been sitting here for hours and we still haven't got our stuff Hidan: OLD MAN? Bitch who the hell are you talking about being old? I see that face lift those fake ass boobs. News flash NO ONE FINDS THAT ATTRACTIVE! (Again no haaatttee) Woman 1: How dare you? And in front of my son? Let's go Jimmy They leave. Hidan: DAMNED AMERICANS! WHO THE FUCK NAMES THEIR SON JIMMY? LIKE JIMMY NEUTRON? THE FUCK! (Imma just stop putting no hate lol but no hate) By this time everyone is gone execpt a few teens and older people. Hidan: Anyone else who wants to complain can kiss my ass! Hidan storms off into the kitchen. Kisame: This is getting wild. Itachi: Mhm Deidara walks over to them. Deidara: Sorry about all of this the chef is a bit hot tempered seeing as he works in a kitchen all day hah. Kisame: Your jokes are not funny Itachi: Do you smell that? Sure enough there was smoke coming from the kitchen and a fire along with it. Hidan: WHERE THE HELL IS A DAMN FIRE EXTINGUSHER? Kakuzu: I DON'T KNOW YOU Itachi: Is that Kakuzu and Hidan? Kisame: Oh his voice did sound familiar Itachi: Let's go someplace else Kisame: Yeah

They both leave. Deidara: Let me help Sasori: Deidara stay back! Deidara accidentally blows the whole place up. The End

#akatsuki texts #akatsuki scenarios #kakuzu #hidan #sasori #deidara #itachi #kisame

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madeofitzits · 4 years

Text

In honor of the impending return of Brooklyn 99, here are 99 reasons that...

1. He was precocious enough to know, at 5 years old, that he wanted to change his name (x)

2. He has a bunch of nicknames: Sandy Amberg, Young Sandwich, etc. but the most endearing one is 'Droidy', his family's name for him (x)

3. He is still super close friends with people he's known since: Elementary School (Chelsea Peretti) (x)...

4. Junior High/High School (Kiv and Jorm) (x)

5. … Summer Camp (Irene Neuwirth) (x)

7. ...and Film School (Chester Tam) (x)

8. Before he met Joanna, he dated other famous ladies but - out of respect - he never discussed it/them (x)

9. He loves turtles and tortoises. When he was a kid, he had a pet turtle that he named 'Squirt' because the first time he held it, it peed on him. His Mom, Margie, accidentally killed Squirt when Andy was at Summer camp... (x)

10. … Maybe this is why, when shooting 'Popstar', Andy fell hard for Maximus (Conner 4 Real's turtle). He says they "had a good thing going" and that he wanted to adopt him. In the end, he decided against it because there are a bunch of coyotes in his neighborhood and he was worried the little guy wouldn't be safe. (Popstar: DVD Commentary)

11. Speaking of his Mom, despite being a super private person, he appeared on 'Finding your Roots' so that he could help her track down her birth family (x)

12. When he succeeded he cried (although we never got to see it on camera) (x)

13. That's because, like all good boys, he loves his Mama which is why - as part of the same episode - he said "My mom is basically the kindest person I know… and many people would corroborate that" (x)

14. Andy's Sisters, Hannie (Johanna) and Darrow, used to make him wear diapers and put his hair in pigtails until he was 5 years old. He says he didn't mind because he just liked that they were paying attention to him (x)

15. That's why he sees his identity in comedy as being 'America's kid brother'. When he was young, he would annoy his sisters until they laughed and he claims to have been replicating that approach to entertainment ever since

16. Although a bunch of his characters have 'Daddy Issues', Andy definitely doesn't. He's super close with his Papa (Joe) and has said "he's a good man" and "the best Dad in the world" (x)

17. Joe was Andy's youth soccer coach and in one scene in 'Hot Rod', Joe's favorite photograph can be seen in the background. It shows a very young Andy posing with a soccer ball, after "scoring the winning goal against Mersey" (x)

18. He's been a loyal Golden State Warriors fan since he was a little kid, living in Oakland (then Berkeley) and, in 2010, he correctly predicted that they would "win a Championship in my lifetime" (x)

19. The proceeds from his Umami Burger ('The Samburger') went to a deafness early detection program in Berkeley. This cause is close to his heart because Margie uses hearing aids and used to work in the special needs program, teaching deaf kids (x)

20. He, Kiv, and Jorm have made multiple donations to their old school district, including $250 000 to its theater program (x)

21. On the subject of The Lonely Island; Andy always goes out of his way to make sure that everyone knows how much he owes to his buddies. For instance, he told Marc Maron, during his WTF appearance, that "I get a lot of credit for what Kiv and Jorm have done" (x)

22. He makes this face when he knows he’s said something naughty…

(Gif credit: @andrewsambags)

23. During his 'Wild Horses' appearance, he said that he can't watch scary movies because they freak him out too much. He told 'Complex' that he's still scared of 'The Shining' (x)...

24. … Similarly, when he was at UC Santa Cruz he worked at the Del Mar movie theater and he had a hard time coping with screenings of 'Species 2' (x)

25. He fell in love with Joanna, the moment he met her, when she greeted him by addressing him as 'Steve the C**t' (x)

26. He listened to 'Ys', everyday for a year, before he and Joanna started dating (x)

27. He bought the original portrait that was used as the basis of the cover art for 'Ys' and gave it to Joanna as a Christmas present, so that she could hang it in her music room (x)

28. He loves birds and goes hiking and birding with Joanna (x)

29. Every new comment he makes about Joanna becomes an instant contender for 'most beautiful thing a person has ever said about their spouse' (x)

30. For example, he readily admits that Jake's iconic heart eyes are the result of him thinking about his amazing wife (x)

31. There are many stories about how incredibly romantic Andy and Joanna's wedding was and Jorm has said that it featured "the most magical vows I've ever heard" (x)

32. The Newsombergs now live in Charlie Chaplin's old house (x)

33. On the Emmys Red Carpet (2015), the year he hosted, they took a momentary break from posing for the world's press to whisper 'I love you' to each other (x)

34. At last year's Vanity Fair party, Andy carried Joanna's purse for her so she could grab a snack (x)

35. He was a semi-permanent fixture in the audience for her recent run of shows for the 'Strings/Keys Incident' tour, even officially confirming his status as the 'President of her Fan Club' (x)

36. He used his Golden Globes monologue to call out the government for framing and murdering the Black Panthers (x)

37. On the Carpet for the Guy's Choice Awards, he called the event "a ridiculous farce", adding that "men already have it so easy - it's insane that there's a show that celebrates them". That makes sense when you consider that he, Kiv and Jorm have made an entire career out of parodying toxic masculinity (x)

38. He once said that only "idiot-ass men" think that women aren't funny (x)

39. He’s been wearing glasses since 7th Grade and he has the most heartbreakingly cute habit of nudging them up his nose, (especially when he wears his Sol Moscot frames) (x)...

40. ... and of rubbing his eyes under them (x)

41. He barely ever wears glasses for roles but he also avoids contacts (because he doesn't like touching his eyeballs) which means he's almost always 'acting blind' (x)

42. He has worn his glasses in character a few times - as 'himself' ('Lady Dynamite'), as 'Paul' ('I Think You Should Leave') and during a very small number of SNL sketches (e.g. during his one appearance in a 'Gilly' with Kristen Wiig) (x)

43. He can't tolerate glare and when that makes him squint it's a sight that's too cute for words (x)

44. He owns about six outfits and has been rotating them for well over a decade (x)

45. He barely ever breaks during shooting/while performing, so when he does it's aggressively adorable. (x), (x)

46. He's a grown ass man who persuades people to come with him to the bathroom because if he goes by himself he'll get lonely (x)

47. He didn't announce he was leaving SNL, until after his last appearance, selflessly choosing not to detract from Kirsten Wiig's huge and emotional send-off (x)

48. He undertook a quest to smell like Lorne Michaels (x)

49. He's ageing like a fine wine (x)

50. To protect their daughter's privacy, Andy and Joanna never announced that they were expecting. They've never released their little girl's name or date of birth and most news outlets still report that they became parents in August 2017 (even though that's inaccurate) (x)

51. Although he's careful not to talk about his daughter often, sometimes he can't keep from gushing about her. For example, when asked about his first year of fatherhood he said: "It’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Just like a beautiful, incredible dream. It has surpassed every expectation I ever had. It’s definitely been very blissful" (x)

52. After their daughter was born, Andy and Joanna spent the first 40 days at home with her (in a practice known as 'confinement'). He's described it as being "a really special time". (x)

53. Andy is famously mild-mannered but, when asked about what triggers his 'Dad claws', he admitted that if anyone attempted to touch his daughter, without permission, he'd "probably sock them hard in the face"…

54. ...Characteristically, he went on to add that he hopes that never happens, since he hasn't been in a fight since 6th Grade (x)

55. Cyndi Lauper was his first celebrity crush and he plays her record ('She's so unusual') for his daughter all the time. (x)

56. His is the very definition of a precious laugh (x)...

57. It's made even more wonderful by the way it makes his voice go high-pitched (x)

58. … and the way it causes his eyebrow to rise involuntarily

59. It's impossible not to smile at his impression of his Mom (x)

60. And laugh at his impression of John Mulaney (x)

61. He was so convinced he wouldn't win the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical, that he didn't prepare a speech. Instead, as he explained to David Letterman, he "just went… and started drinking". The resulting list of improvised 'thank yous' was perfect in every way (x)

62. As producers, Andy, Kiv and Jorm have given life to some amazing projects ('Alone Together', 'Brigsby Bear', 'I Think You Should Leave')...

63. … and gone out of their way to support women in comedy ('Party Over Here', 'PEN15') (x)

64. As well as being a comedy legend, he's a super-talented dramatic actor, who gave the performance of a lifetime in 'Celeste and Jesse Forever' but, after the movie wrapped, and it was time to do press for it, he was straight back to goofing around (x)

65. His lip bite should be illegal (x)

66. Even though he wears the same vanishingly small number of outfits, over and over, he has a vast collection of the most excellent socks (x)

67. He always gives 'editing notes' during his own interviews (x)

68. He has a super sweet and sincere way of thanking interviewers when they compliment him (x)

69. He adjusts his hoodie constantly (x)

70. The two most perfect Jake laughs in b99 are actually real Andy laughs 'https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W38A_xuXaeg https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sVm9nYrTWRQ

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71. Virtually everyone who has ever worked with Andy has talked about what a wonderful person he is. This explains why so many of them have been involved with more than one of his projects (x)

72. It's not only his colleagues who talk about what a delight he is (x), (x)

73. This lovestruck fool wore his own wife's merch when he went out to dinner (x)

74. No one else uses the word 'dinky' quite like Andy (x). The same goes for 'snacky' (see point 70)

75. He does this with his tongue (x)

76. He still likes to play soccer but his eyesight is so bad that he has to keep his glasses on for it

77. When he lets his gorgeous floofy hair grow a little it sits perfectly over the arms of his glasses (x)

78. He gifted the world with Jakey's little curl (x)

79. At the James Franco Roast, he couldn't bring himself to be mean to anyone except himself (and Jeff Ross, a little!) (x)

80. In fact, he's always been willing to laugh at himself (x) and he still is (x)

81. He changes b99 scripts to make them more feminist (x)

82. Despite their humble insistence that they just benefited from 'good timing', the reality is that Andy, Kiv and Jorm (along with Chris Parnell) revolutionized digital media, when 'Lazy Sunday' popularized YouTube, increasing its traffic by 85% overnight (x)

83. He once attended the Vanity Fair party because his Mom told him to (x)

84. He has an amazing way of subtly but firmly shutting down inappropriate questions, like when this interviewer suggested that Holt being gay was something that could have been played for laughs https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=idQsYQfkR5o

85. He auditioned for SNL at the same time as Bill Hader. Hader thought he'd blown it because Andy had a bunch of props and Bill had none. In the meantime, Andy thought he'd blown it when he saw Hader and realized 'this guy doesn't need any props' (x)

86. His bromance with Seth Meyers is one for the ages (x)

87. Every single second of this video is proof of why Andy, Kiv and Jorm deserve the world (x)

88. He once dragged Mulaney up on stage for SNL Goodnights, even though writers weren't allowed to join in (x)

89. He has a hilarious phobia of pooping anywhere except his own bathroom (x)

90. His beautiful, beautiful, face: His smile (radiant), his eyes (caramel - hella disarming), his ears (adorably asymmetrical), his nose (perfect), His chin (the dimple… *swoon*), his jaw (could cut glass), The 'Sambeard' (another amazing layer of pretty) (x)

91. His body: His butt (x), his thighs, (x) his soft lil tummy (The ‘Sambelly’) (x), his hands. (x), his arms (x), his hips…

(Gif credit: @amystiago /@badpostandy on Twitter)

92. All signs point to the fact that, like Jake, Andy uses his glasses case as a wallet (x)

93. Jake's "cool-cool-cool-cool-cool-cool" is an irl Andy-ism that the writers worked into b99 scripts. What's even better is that Joanna does it, too (x)

94. He has a really good arm and is low key competitive, which is super hot https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e32K_nBDy3Q

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95. He's one half of the cutest Red Carpet pose of all time (x)

96. He barely ever seems to get mad but if angry Jake is anything to go by, maybe he should... (x)

97. He's a huge nerd, who geeks out over GOT, LOTR, 'Star Wars', 'Alien(s)' and anything relating to time travel (x), (x)

98. He has a gorgeous speaking voice, especially when he’s tired or a little sick. (Bonus points for any time he uses the word ‘correct’. See point 30) (x)

99. He’s still so committed to his b99 fans and fam, even after all this time and is as excited as the rest of us that...

#99 reasons to love #andy samberg #brooklyn nine nine #b99 #a masterpost for the best boy there is

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bobasheebaby · 4 years

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100 Buffy Prompts

I had a lot of fun compiling this list. I was cracking up more than once and now I want to binge Buffy. If there is a show you want let me know because these seriously help me shut of my brain during this covid hell.

1 “NAME, your mouth is open, sound is coming from it. This is never good.” – Buffy Summers

2 “I just want to be alone and quite in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don’t even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one.” – Buffy Summers

3 "They were supposed to be my light at the end of the tunnel. I guess they were a train.” – Buffy Summers

4 “I don’t know what’s coming next. But I do know it’s gonna be just like this – hard, painful. But in the end, it’s gonna be us. If we all do our parts, believe it, we’ll be the one’s left standing.” – Buffy Summers

5 “I don’t handle rejection well. Funny, considering all the practice I’ve had, huh?” – Xander Harris

6 "Just because you’re better than us doesn’t mean you can be all superior.” – Xander Harris

7 “I’m leaning towards blind panic myself.” – Rupert Giles

8 “Since the picture you just painted means that I will never touch food of any kind again, you’ll just have to pick it up yourself.” – Rupert Giles

9 "With all the rubbish people keep sticking in my head, it's a wonder that there's room for my brain." – Spike

10 "Oh, I don't know. Looking in the mirror every day and seeing nothing there...it's an overrated pleasure.” – Angel

11 "Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir. Open it's jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us. Passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have?" – Angel

12 "Anyway, for real now, I'm gonna ask you something, and you gotta promise you'll be honest and not spare my feelings just 'cause I could kill you. You promise?" Faith

13 "You gotta give me something to do. There's no way I'm sleeping. Don't you need anyone dead? Or maimed? I can settle for maimed.” – Faith

14 "You know, I honestly don't think there's a human word fabulous enough for me.”- Glorificus

15 “I’m cookie dough. I’m not done baking. I’m not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I’m gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day, I turn around and realize I’m ready. I’m cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat m — or enjoy warm, delicious, cookie me, then that’s fine. That’ll be then. When I’m done.” — Buffy Summers

16 “Seize the moment, ’cause tomorrow you might be dead.” — Buffy Summers

17 “The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live.” — Buffy Summers

18 “No weapons. No friends. No hope. Take all that away and what’s left?” “Me.” — Angelus & Buffy Summers

19 “Don’t you have an elsewhere to be?” – Cordelia Chase

20 “God! What is your childhood trauma?!” – Cordelia Chase

21 “Gee, can you vague that up for me?” – Buffy Summers

22 “I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.” – Xander Harris

23 “I don’t know what your problem is, what your issues are. But as of this moment I officially don’t care.” – Xander Harris

24 “You’re really campaigning for bitch of the year, aren’t you?” – Cordelia Chase

25 “I mock you with my monkey pants!” – Oz

26 “Funny how preparing looks an awful lot like sitting on your ass.” – Spike

27 “That’s fairly freaksome.” – Oz

28 “Do you have any tact at all?” – Giles

29 “I’ve known you for two minutes and I can’t stand you.” – Spike

30 “Great. Now I’m gonna be stuck with serious thoughts all day.” – Cordelia Chase

31 “You didn’t happen to take a lot of drugs, did you?” – Willow

32 “I’ve seen honest faces…they usually come attached to liars.” – Willow

33 “Can I be blind, too?” – Xander

34 “Gee, I hope I’m not interrupting anything really depressing.” – Riley

35 “And you just accepted that? I only said that because I thought that’s what you wanted to hear.” – Anya

36 “This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.” – Spike

37 “We’ve got to face it, we’ve changed. Well, not you—you’re still sadistic and self-centered.” – Giles

38 “Sometimes the most adult thing you can do is ask for help when you need it.” – Giles

39 “Did everybody have their Crazy Flakes today?” – Xander

40 “Do you love me?” “What?” “Do you?” “I love you. I don't know if I trust you.” “Maybe you shouldn't do either.” “Maybe I'm the one who should decide!” — Angel & Buffy

41 “Six a.m.!" NAME cried. "I know that's a number on my clock, but I've never actually been awake to personally witness it!” — Xander

42 “Bored now.” — Vampire Willow

43 “We’ll go be heroes.” — Spike

44 “You have a plan?” “I am the plan.” — Giles & Buffy

45 "Strong is fighting. It's hard and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together." — Buffy

46 "I make it through this and the next thing and the next thing, and maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready." — Buffy

47 "You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. NAME, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live, for me." — Buffy

48 "Make your choices. Are you ready to be strong?" — Buffy

49 “Weird love’s better than no love.” — Buffy

50 “The who having wha with huh?” — Buffy

51 “Whatever you choose, you’ve got my support. Just think of me as… as your… You know, I’m searching for supportive things and I’m coming up all bras. So, something slightly more manly, think of me as that.” – Xander

52 "A lot of things that seem strong and good and powerful, they can be painful." Angel

53 "To forgive is an act of compassion, NAME. It's-it's... it's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it." — Giles

54 "In the end, we all are who we are, no matter how much we may appear to have changed." — Giles

55 "I don't have time for vendettas. The mission is what matters." — Buffy

56 "I don't want to protect you from the world. I want to show it to you." — Buffy

57 "Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?" — Buffy

58 "Recognizing power in another does not diminish your own." — Joss Whedon

59 “Out. For. A. Walk… Bitch.” — Spike

60 “You can’t see the stars, love. That’s the ceiling. Also, it’s day.” — Spike

61 “Is everyone here very stoned?” — Spike

62 “I feel safe with you.” [Chokes] “TAKE THAT BACK!” — Dawn & Spike

63 “I love you.” “Oh, my god.” “Hey, no. Look at me. I... love you. You're all I bloody think about... dream about. You're in my gut... my throat... I'm drowning in you, NAME. I'm drowning in you.” — Spike & Buffy

64 “Just... give me something. A crumb, the barest smidgen. Tell me maybe, someday there's a chance” “NAME ... the only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious.” “Oh, wha-“ [screams, then shouts] “What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody men/women? What the hell does it take? Why do you bitches torture me?” “Which question do you want me to answer first?” — Spike & Buffy

65 “You can't deny it. There's something between us.” “Loathing. Disgust.” — Spike & Buffy

66 “Could do without the laugh track, NAME.” “But it's so funny. I knew... before you did. I knew you loved the NAME. The pixies in my head whispered it to me.” — Spike & Drusilla

67 “Damn right I’m impure! I’m as impure as the driven yellow snow.” — Spike

68 “I love you.” “No, you don’t. But thanks for saying it.” — Spike & Buffy

69 “This with you, it’s wrong. I know it. I’m not a complete idiot.” — Spike

70 “You always hurt the ones you love, pet.” — Spike

71 "When I say ‘I love you,’ it’s not because I want you or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are." — Buffy

72 "I’m just gonna go home, lie down, and listen to country music. The music of pain." — Buffy

73 "I have feelings for you. I do. But it's not love. I could never trust you enough for it to be love." — Buffy

74 "Weird love's better than no love." — Buffy

75 “People don’t fall in love with what’s right in front of them. People want the dream — what they can’t have. The more unattainable, the more attractive.” — Buffy

76 "Trust is for old marrieds, NAME. Great love is wild and passionate and dangerous. It burns and consumes." “Until there's nothing left. Love like that doesn't last." — Spike & Buffy

77 "This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you...you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after" — Angel

78 "I love you. I try not to, but I can't stop" — Angel

79 "If I may suggest, ‘This time it's personal.’ I mean, there's a reason why it's a classic." —Oz

80 "Well, to the casual observer, it would appear that you're trying to make your friend NAME jealous, or even the score, or something. And...that's on the empty side. See, in my fantasy, when I'm kissing you, you're kissing me. It's okay, I can wait." — Oz

81 "NAME’s our friend...except I don't like him/her.” — Xander

82 "What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time! Sex ... Help! Four times five is thirty ... five times six is thirty-two ... Naked girls. Naked women ... Naked NAME ... Oh, stop me!" — Xander

83 "Man, NAME! My whole life just flashed before my eyes. I gotta' get me a life!" — Xander

84 “NAME. You're really campaigning for bitch-of-the-year, aren't you?” “As defending champion, you nervous?” — Cordelia & Buffy

85 "Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass." — Cordelia

86 “Oh please. Like shame is something to be proud of.” — Cordelia

87 “I’m going to give you some advice: get over it.” — Cordelia

88 “Oh, and you’re welcome.” — Cordelia

89 “I’m not a sniveling little cry-NAME. I’m the nastiest guy/girl in PLACE history. I take crap from no one.” — Cordelia

90 “I think it. I say it. It’s my way.” — Cordelia

91 "I don't like spiders, okay? Their furry bodies, and their sticky webs, and what do they need all those legs for anyway? I'll tell you - for crawling across your face in the middle of the night." — Willow

92 "I don't want danger. Big 'no’ to danger.” — Willow

93 "Let's get this straight. I don't understand it. I don't wanna' understand it. You have gross emotional problems. And things are not okay between us." — Willow

94 "NAME, I got so lost." "I found you. I will always find you." — Tara & Willow

95 "But you like him/her, and when you think about him/her, you get that good down-low tickle, right?" — Faith

96 "You hurt me, I hurt you. I'm just a little more efficient." — Faith

97 "Just relax ... and take off your pants." — Faith

98 "I am, you know." “What?" “Yours." — Tara & Willow

99 "I don't have time for bondage fun." - Buffy

100 “It's fine, I don't need to be snuggled.” — Willow

#buffy prompts #buffy quotes #btvs #writing prompts #dialogue prompts #drabble prompts #buffy summers #angel #cordelia chase #rupert giles #xander harris #willow rosenberg #faith #spike #quaratine sucks and making these keeps my mind busy #i live in covid 19 hell

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 4 years

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This is the last human mimic alien we have to fight.

He's realized he's lost because you people aren't running wild having orgies and you're listening to the DNA4U

And further more You all don't want to share.

When i posted the video of Miss Shawntae telling snoop it was time to snoop her body up... And then Snoop went all seductive to the camera...

122895x1000= men that said "Nigga ima beat your ass you know my wo/man gonna see that. You ain't need to be showing yourself!".

76584284×1000= said "ew i hope i don't have my any asking me to do anything tonight after what i just seen. My imagination gonna kill myself! And i know that's just wrong wrong wrong!"

Now multiply the digits together before the multiplication sign and that is approximately minus 1000 That supported Snoops message.

I did all 3. I had to advert my eyes even. Although he couldn't even see me.

Now Snoop and i know each other over 8000zillion years. So i can easily put myself in his shoes.

So he would walk in and I be having sex and he just sit down and start having a conversation. Like we having BBQ ribs and not sexual intercourse.

His wife tho .... He would make sure "the white boy was covered" and tease her don't look. She look at the carpet... Eventually it kept going on so i took a picture off the wall and put it on the floor where she always sat.

She said "why you do that?"

"I realize the kids keep jumping on the bed and knock it off. Snoop stare at you If you move your face. And unless you're on LSD it's no fun staring at the carpet. So i gave it to you where it seems you always be looking although i had to take a pretty healthy guess. I just felt you was having the most miserable time of all and as my friend it was my honor to trip out and give you a gift"

She used the reflection to put on her makeup and slept in bed later.,Snoop quit being so paranoid. Cause she would face the wall and lean against him.

Point is... Snoop be all like he was watching sports to make sure we got the score.

I mean. Man. Earth. We tried everything we could to stop these aliens from wanting to habe orgies. Even,took,away,their dicks!!!

We did everything. Planet.

Y'all locked up with your soulmates made little difference on this kick of his.

I been doing it. I been riding like I been going around the world 500 times. I love sex.

82% of y'all all around the Earth been having sex.

4% have watched porno

18% have had 1 wild orgies of those 18% -- 32% had s second one. Of those 0.00004981% have gone onto a third.

Of those having 2 or more orgies 92% were aliens

Leaving 8% Of 18% of the entire world interested enough in watching or having sex with other people than their soulmate.

Who saved the world?

100% of humans.

You all get $5 and that includes children.

He's done all he could and he's failed. 100%

I think Edgar might be human... Looking at his alien structure in the film.

But he treated me like an alien. Im still a POW.

Alex had to sell a bed because he acted non human. And Alex worked hard on it to make it perfect for me.

I would been fine gloating from it. Fighting and being sassy to aliens.

But then someone claiming to care about me,most of all abandoned his son and law and daughter. And i hear stories of him being evil.

Some time ago they asked me "do you want a dad or mom?"

"No"

"We need to know because the future of the,Earth,depends on it. And the future of you. Now do you want a dad or,not?!"

"The question is will i remain needing a dad or father figure in the future. No i am fine. I have male role models to keep the species alive. Males. (Species not gender) I also have my mom in Mrs Harriet Tubmam. And if that fails then at that time i should be able to get the rest of me. But she's fine. I'm fine. I just got to remain stable. But adding a father or another mother i don't know just yet can remain disasterous."

Luckily Alex didn't burn the bed down. But it was,bugged and bombed by "Edgar", to me 'its just another one of those things we have to clean"

Do i care? Nothing. He doesn't affect me. I worry about Alex having to,deal with it. But,hes being,and,staying clean,and,then when he's,scared he stays by other cold turkey or non users. He was,around Crystal meth yesterday and he tasted 1/4 of a gram. Like when you would put your finger in the sugar jar. Then lick it. The other guy smoked 4.9876 ounces and blew it all in their faces including the babies. Thus Alex got 7.698 grams ingested via second hand smoke.

I didn't notice but we got in a fight with each other. Just like we always do.

Alex and i power punched him and his eye socket -- ocular bone -- was crushed like glass in 17 cracks.

His jaw I punched more alone but with Alex and total both sides he lost 9 teeth. And had to be wired shut after 72 stiches because i split his upper palate in two. I cracked his lower palate in 8072 places. So if you found a skull it would rest on powder of his lower jaw and then you'll find the upper. After decaying..

Then Alex on the top of his head had 49 stitches to repair his soft tissue from his frontal lobe when he crashed to the floor after the super punch to eye hit the coffee table.

He did get one "good" punch in -- his skull hit Alex right in the right eye.

It fucking hurt but it hurts in a good way. Its weird it's like "reward!" Pain. No suffering. Fucking got him good tho. We feel it every now and again. May be it is when he realises we will kill him for good. He keeps remembering that sudden silence of death.

He's currently on life support. "Medically induced coma" is our non panic code words. But it's basically life support but usually not full life support. It isn't 100% life support medical machines. Its 75% or less.

So technically it's life support and coma mixed. So we csll it medically induced coma. This way you understand if your family is the one on the machines -- it's only 25% body life.... However there's a 75% of recovery via healing machines.

The CIA. Willl decide when to pull the plug. Usually medically induced coma is someone evil or someone bad with the ability to be good. Usually aliens go straight to coma status.

If an alien will die it's 1st life support then coma. Your friend or family will die.

They said medically induced coma. But at this time. His brain is incapable of human thought so I am putting him on life support.

This makes it the family's wishes.

Most of the time "next of kin" is spouse then parents/siblings. Then children last.

Which is wrong. It should be the future. Thus Erica and Steven will ask the babies. And together they will decide.

Last night as a CIA operative while he was in a medically induced coma i was told by at least 1 child and 2 adults to pull. I reviewed. While they spoke from shock and relief their true feelings.

Knowing that the children escaped life with Eric once. I don't feel the right to allow Eric to live. I know the consequences of his actions caused two children to leave my planet in fear and terror and disgust because of Eric.

Erica was my 3rd pregnancy to abort and hold souls.

I hate Eric. That's why i punched him in the fucking face. I was happily surprised that Alex did it. Too in person.

Since the infants are involved and already resurrected. And had a nightmare of a time in less than 36 hours on Eaerth.

I allow them to be there to pull the plug, they can actually yank and pull the plug themselves.

So that is what i want and what the children need.

It will show Eric he doesn't belong here and has no,reason to,be at 25%

It makes life easier for all of us.

Eric was an outdoor kid. Like John and Jason and Greg. Etc. He never went into my school.

They didn't have to. And actually weren't ever enrolled. They liked the man work to learn to survive on their own.

While i taught the children the indoor stuff. The expansion of the mind.

I taught them the economy so the men working to increase their own economical structure could be helped to be taken in under their wings.

I left no one behind.

But he refused confirming.

1. Alcoholic system to drop other drugs. -- he uses crystal meth. Without cut backs. Without moderation

$5 if yoh remember and realized i said make smoothies without alcohol to share with your kids.

2. He blew it in their faces on purpose them injesting over 2.4 grams each.

Erica and Alex would cover their faces with thick blankets when the smoke came towards them.

It was quite a hostage situation. Knowing he could take the newborns and kill them in front of them.

Its happened to me 985 Point 2 times. I'm 35 years old.

875.8 times it's been with a knife.

Take the numbers and multiply by 10 million. For the last some kinda lots of 8 thousand zillion years.

It even happened to Alex. He he has the scars. From,this and last life., it,has happened.

So for me they're terrifying. Unless I'm there... I have saved 900 billion times 30 thousand. I those situations.

But i always remember the ones i lost.

So don't worry when I'm suicidal. Just leave me alone. Don't talk to me. I need silence.

So dead babies y'all.

Dead aliens.

It will be done

I seen that actually quite beautiful meme of April 2020 the clouds and UFO.

I don't get mad or violent because I'm stepped back to watch y'all cope.

But I say to y'all "fuck no that's not happening" I say to that UFO "Fucking try it you will all die" i just scroll on because I get so angry. I get so mad. Its a beautiful photo but i refused to repost it because it isn't something i support.

Most reposts of memes are supported unless i type something on the bottom. Saying it's not.

So my dad. I didn't care until i saw The Rock, "her dad is alive" all happy and in support.

Then i was bothered. Then I cared. Then i felt something about it. But until then i felt nothing.

I didn't feel shame..i felt that were all made of glass.

Because I was happy to have a dad.. One that seemed good. I was actually happy.

And it was kept personal to me... But then I saw the Rock felt it. Then I began to feel..

Broken. But Alex kept it together and started getting rid of the bed. Taking it down. Removing bombs. And fixing all that ass hole did "my dad"

I know the Rock.. He can handle. His dad just died. And we did a lot for him.

So for him to be elated. I get through the day thinking no one really cares what i feel and they don't pay kuch attention..but the Rock in that moment in time.

He was happy. And i knew then i had to Destroy a light of happiness inside him and he looked away from the camera to say "we are all happy. The while world"

DNA4U list one person as my father. He's my uncle..

Edgar claimed it was his 18th cousin.

You know, it doesn't matter.

Donate. Mr Lee Tubman. And more. They're my dads. They kept me safe. Taught me to be wiser and more caring about myself. Donte was 2 years younger than me. But he was a father figure. Guy was the fun dad. Fred Flintstone i called one friend's dad was the fishing buddy. We were not close but he was a silent father figure.

I stole all my friends dads. Borrowed them. Their moms, too.

I have 1800 moms that I call mom.

I know who my moms and dads are.

Just like Erica called me mom the other day and Brittany will too. And Alex my cousin's son. Candy. Brandy. Declan.

So i know i have a family that understands it doesn't matter how I got here. It matters who treated me well. Matthew McCognohey. Kid rocks. They're like my dad's and my kids. Uncles and Cousins.

Blood doesn't matter. Shit half the time Snoop is my God or dad or bother or husband or little kid i have to save. He's my friend.

Snoop is too much of everything. He is my co-nigger. My partner in many crimes against humanity (practical jokes)

I call him my Friend. But my family wouldn't be complete without him and Shawntae.

Harriet. I call her momma all the time. It feels natural. Sometimes i call her old lady.

So while i was joyful for a moment thinking I found someone that actually cared to find out he didn't.

I myself wasn't affected until i knew others would be

Its just a lesson in life. Don't trust people.

I told Alex abandon ship, fuck that place. Ain't no one can go in there!!

He understood and agreed then took the role "no,one is driving me and her from our home." He decided to defend the homestead. That is the role a man takes

Im all you gotta sweep the whole place,then,rest and do,it again,2 more times at least.,Then,again when,I,get there. If i get there.

But i feel good to know my lover isn't gonna let anyone drive him down. Just turn around. Learn a lesson. Clean the mess.

Why do i need a father when i have a man?

Clearly i am an independent woman and always have been.

But i need a family. Otherwise I have no point to live.

And that is why i am suicidal.

I don't see s point to live. Not when Alex and i fight and i don't want him to talk to me cause some alien got in our way once again.

He was double attacked by aliens.

So if their desire is for me to die... Then they should keep,doing it.

If,not they need to stay out of my way so i can,get my family,together again.,in,real life.

My family that I know is my family. Not aliens. Not fans. Not someone that needs to apologize to me or needs an explanation.

People that can think on their own and not be reminded they need to have love in their spirit.

Now Snoop sometimes plays the role of my brother. And we are competitive. It just makes us proud of each other and ourselves for surviving a challenge. I do it to him too but I play old hard skill. He plays old new remember when. I do ancient V-Ball and he does pop and country experience.

So his spirit is of an ego -- which salutes the fact we will grow.

Often we do the spirit of mischievous. To remind danger still exists but we will have fun and love in the end.

Friend. Someone that is gonna fry you but the end od what matters.

Sometimes we relax and chill. But them old cogwheels of the mind never quit rolling. Advance. Advance. Lets keep it going don't stop.

He's like me. Suicidal.

But he used to release his inner poison. Now he makes it not exist by doing something else ....

But me? Nothing helps but the mimic of death itself. Silence.

People are what causes it. Alien people.

So you humans. Keep on being you.

Its you that is gonna save the world

I gave you guidelines to help us out this mess.

Because I can't even see y'all because the aliens surrounding me trying to get my last breath.

Show me you. Save us. You're doing good

I got $5 on y'all that we make it.

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amalthemir · 5 years

Text

OC Interview!

I was tagged by @nuka-nuke (luv u bab) for this, so here I go!

1. Choose an OC.

2. Answer them as that OC.

3. Tag 5 people to do the same.

I’ll tag @scarecrow-forest @lamorellenoire6 @chibikinesis @ryu-no-joou and @beetleboo

1. What is your name?

Would be sitting comfortably in a chair, whiskey glass in hand

"We'll aren't you straight to the point. If you've got to know, name's Texas, doll~."

2. Do you know why are you named that?

"Dunno, mama once said somethin' about her ancestors bein' from a place called Texas back before the world went t' shit. Might've all jus' been some bullshit for all I know."

3. Are you single or taken?

Smirks

"Well that answer depends on if I find ya interestin' or not. But for t' sake of time, I'm seein' someone, well, a few someones. That satisfy yer curiosity yet, doll?"

4. Have any abilities or powers?

Laughs

"Sure do princess! I've got a this cute lil' trick where if I say someone is dead, they'll show up dead the next day! World works in strange ways, darlin'."

"Aside from that, I'm killer with an automatic rifle, you'd be dead in a secon' if I wanted it. The rest of my talents are... well, let's just say I'm good with a rope."

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

"Who t' hell is that Mary Sue lady? You better not be playin' me for a fool if you know what's good for you..."

6. What’s your eye color?

"Brown, plain an' simple. Mama said I had papa's eyes, always said that his were like chocolate- or caramel or some shit. Don't rightly give a fuck to be honest."

7. How about your hair color?

"Brown again, dark brown to be frank, but you can prob'ly see the color better in good lightin'."

8. Have any family members?

"No, mama got sick and died like a dog, and papa left and never came back, fucker probably got himself killed years ago, wouldn't be surprised if he's still in a ditch somewhere back in Vegas."

9. Oh? How about pets?

Sits up a bit straighter

"Well... don't rightly have one unless you count that quantum deathclaw egg I stole- rescued from an empty nest after its parents were... killed in an unfortunate hunting expedition. The thing hasn't hatched, but it hasnt rotten yet either, so don't know what's gonna happen with it."

10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like?

"Well now that you mention it, havin' someone waste my time askin' stupid questions is pretty high on my list of things I don't like."

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?

"You mean besides tying people up, takin' people's shit, or getting myself a new "toy" to play with? Dunno, all that takes up most of my time."

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?

"You... are you fuckin' serious? I had a feelin' you were a dumbass but boy, you're somethin' else. Yeah I've hurt people, sometimes they even like it when I do it."

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

"Well sorry to disappoint, darlin', but you don't get t' where I am without poppin' a few heads. If it makes ya feel any better, I prefer playin' with my toys rather than breakin' 'em... at least at first."

Chuckles

14. What kind of animal are you?

"What kind of- the hell kinda question is that? I don't fuckin' know, a damn coyote for all I care."

15. Name your worst habits?

"Do you really want me to? There's a lot of 'em. Off the top of my head I'd say maybe drinkin' on the job, not bein' able to stop myself from wanting to... get a taste of something I find interesting, and dunno, maybe, just maybe, I like to stay a bit too clean sometimes, old habit really."

16. Do you look up to anyone at all?

"Nope, nobody at all. Other people are just pawns, though I like to play with some more than others."

17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?

"I'm whatever you want me to be, baby doll."

18. Do you go to school?

"Do we fuckin' look like we have a damn school here at Nukaworld? Or do I like like a damn brat that should be sittin' on a desk takin' damn notes about some bullshit? Yeah, thought so."

19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?

"Hell no, don' wanna get caught up in any of that business. Like hell that I'm ever gonna allow myself to get tied down to one por sod for the rest of my life. That's what mama did, and look at her now, six feet under cuz she was sure papa would come prancin' on in like nothin' happened. No thanks. As for kids that's another can of blood worms I ain't touchin' anytime soon."

20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?

Laughs

"Sure do, people line up to see me every day, all eyes on me whenever I walk in the market, real ego booster if you ask me."

21. What are you most afraid of?

"Dying of boredom, so right now I'm pretty much on death's row."

22. What do you usually wear?

"A suit. I know, I know, you must be wonderin' why the hell I wear a suit, well, to be the best you gotta look the part, don't cha' think? Plus, it's catches people's attention, makes it easier to lure them in. Guess keeping it all clean is a hassle, but I've got people for that."

23. What’s one food that tempts you?

"Hm.... maybe some mirelurk cakes, damn things are pretty good when you find someone to cook 'em right."

24. Am I annoying to you?

"Nooooo of course not. I'm having the time of my life, can't you tell?"

25. Well, it’s still not over!

"Christ sake... this better be worth it."

26. What class are you (low/middle/high)?

"High and mighty, darlin'."

27. How many friends do you have?

"Yes."

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

"Pies? Why fuckin' pies of all damn things? I don't know, them pre-war ones looked good I guess, never had one. Might try to get someone that knows how to make one."

29. Favorite drink?

"Whiskey, plain and simple. Used to have Susnset Sarsaparilla back in Vegas, but they don't have those over here. Nuka-Wild comes close enough I guess, doesn't quite taste the same though."

30. What’s your favorite place?

"Anywhere that's mine, that's private, and a place that I can drag a new toy into in order to have some fun."

31. Are you interested in anyone?

"You could say that... there's a certain pup that I'm training into being more... well behaved. Gotta say, I'm hooked so far."

32. That was a stupid question…

"I'd say the same for all the other questions you've asked, but sure, whatever floats yer boat."

33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?

"Neither."

34. What’s your type?

"Hm... guess I like a challenge. Don't get me wrong, being able to do what I please with someone from day one is always fun, but there's something about breaking them and making them mine that turns me on intensely."

35. Any fetishes?

"Yyyyyup, let's see... domination, bondage, being rough, puppy play, being very physical, etcetera, too many to name."

36. Camping or outdoors?

"Pretty much everyone has slept outdoors before in their lives, how else you think I traveled from the west all the way to the east?."

#fallout oc #my oc #fallout 4 #texas #raider oc #nukaworld raider #raider

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