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blametheeditor · 8 months

Text

Incident 8889-1

Content Warnings: Mentions of death and murder. Mentions of others being lesser than. Darker themes and tone.

SCP-8889's File

How to properly handle a David

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David learned a long time ago that while humans are stupid, ‘SCP’s’ are much stupider.

He might give those who are mortal more credit due to the fact he has to tolerate them in order to become powerful, but all in all the fairly newly coined ‘SCP’s’ that interact with the earth and those on it are significantly lower when it comes to status.

It was certainly interesting watching the progression through the millennia's. When ‘SCP’s’ were first named as monsters and superstitions, humans were certainly at the very bottom of the food chain. It was almost easy getting them to do everything asked of them, even sacrificing their own kind as long as it was for the will of the ‘gods’, even if a true one hadn’t been the one to name a price and therefore had nothing to give.

It took too long in his opinion, but humans finally began to earn their place. Finally figured out who the actual gods were. Began to understand ‘SCP’s’ as the malicious entities they could be rather than a mythical being. Climbed ever so slowly up the food chain so they stood above the lowest of the low instead of being the one barely above dirt itself.

And then they became clever, and that’s when ‘SCP’s’ as a whole became the bane of David’s existence.

As a god, he can’t exactly ignore humanity. Of course, once they got to a certain point, he did come to appreciate the interactions rather than loath them. They were certainly better company than inanimate objects who only made mortals react to its odd characteristics.

So once he saw the change, heard the new name ‘SCP’ gifted upon his coworkers so to speak, it became clear he could finally use the humans who had conquered the earth. The issue was the fact they started looking for him.

The time when magic was believed to exist was his favorite period. They were just stupid enough to not realize he was manipulating them strictly due to being a god acting as a mortal. And every single person he talked to was a master at some kind of craft.

Once ‘science’ was a thing? He had to be much more creative. Had to change his appearance more in two centuries than he did in one millennia. Couldn’t choose a business or family at random but instead become a lot more picky in figuring out what was a true craft, and who were complete idiots acting as prophets. And above all, he could not let the much lesser ‘SCP’s’ come anywhere near him.

Because while humans evolved, his coworkers didn’t. They still caused havoc as if electricity was still believed to be nothing but magic. Meaning the most brilliant of mortals spent an entire century on researching how to find, capture, and contain them.

Of course they could never catch David. He’s a god. An immortal all powerful being with powers no mere mortal could possibly ever fathom. But it certainly got annoying when those trained in hunting lesser ‘SCP’s’ down appeared in his area. And it angered him even more when some idiot of an ‘SCP’ wrecked havoc and therefore costing him a deal and yet no one showed up to capture it.

So to avoid it all, he began reporting them.

He’s not stupid. He always used someone else’s phone to make the call. Never offered his name. Just made an anonymous tip that ‘odd things’ were occurring where an ‘SCP’ was interrupting his work, all while he stayed a good distance away completing another deal before finishing what he started once the nuisance was gone.

He’ll give the mortals one thing, they had become quite talented in dealing with his coworkers. As much as he wanted to have such a craft for himself, he wasn’t going anywhere near the humans associated with it.

Until he met James.

I. Tall. Wearing a suit. Tucking a piece a paper away as someone walks toward the back.

II. Small restaurant. Six tables. Four booths. A bar against the right wall.

III. Only two people working. Six patrons total.

David had only just finished his latest contract, tucking it away when a mortal man approached the counter he sat at, sitting in a chair beside him.

“You look like someone who would know the best thing to get here.”

That got David’s attention, because no one ever figured out he’s the right person to talk to regarding anything. Not before a little persuasion.

“There’s a talented cook who knows how to properly make lobster bisque,” David smiled as he turned to face his companion. “Not once has it disappointed me.”

“Sounds exactly what I’m looking for,” the man nodded. “Are you the owner here?”

“Business partner. One who’s going to guarantee a larger restaurant with a long line out the door in a few months,” David couldn’t help but smirk with pride.

The man’s eyebrows rose. “That’s quite impressive. They’re extremely lucky to have you.”

He was hitting all of the right buttons. David had met a few who were considered charming, picked up a few things from those were considered masters of it.

He knew there were those who used it to gain something, but there were those who genuinely enjoyed having conversations and learning about the mortals around them. David was the former, but he loved meeting those of the latter.

“Do you partner with multiple businesses?”

It certainly seemed like this man was the latter.

“I do,” David beamed. “Not just restaurants, either. The clothing store on the other side of town wouldn’t be there today if I hadn’t stepped in.”

“The one with the gorgeous lace dress in the window?”

He had known it right on the top of his head without any hesitation. About a store that did grow due to David’s influence. But that contract had been made 30 years ago.

“That’s quite an impressive resume.”

David only knew he wanted to make a deal with this man if only to have an excuse to have someone around to praise him all day long. “And you look like someone who could match it.”

The man gave a small smile as if sheepish about the compliment, and David really wanted to keep him under his thumb. “Definitely not as impressive. I’m just a storm chaser.”

“Never heard of it.”

“I chase after things like tornado’s and hurricane’s,” the man clarified. “Disasters that could level a town, especially if people aren’t warned in time.”

“A fairly noble job,” David offers.

The man shrugged as if to give back the compliment. “A bit hard to do. I don’t know every storm’s pattern, so I can’t predict them all.”

David couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. Because this was going to be the easiest one yet. “I grant you an effortless next chase.”

The man gave him a genuine look of gratitude as he lifted his arm.

“In exchange for my full name, I accept."

Before David could realize just how odd the response was, a companionable hand is being set on his shoulder in thank you.

That’s when David is suddenly shoved into his own personal realm. One every god has. One only they control, and yet he didn’t want to be inside it.

Not that he hates it. It’s his realm. Tailored specifically to him that he can manipulate with just a thought. And considering the fact he has to do all of his deals in the mortal realm, it’s always nice to finally be where he belongs.

Sitting in a comfortable chair at an ornate desk in a well organized office. Two bookshelves behind him filled with contracts all painstakingly placed where they should be. Able to conjure up pens, a computer, or a new contract within seconds by snapping his fingers.

The only thing out of place? The mortal man he had been speaking to standing no taller than three inches on his desk. Looking as calm as before despite a well over two hundred foot god sitting before him.

What mortal thought they could best him.

David sighed once it became clear the man clearly wasn’t a storm chaser. Not looking almost bored as he crossed his arms. “You clearly are completely out of your-”

“James Stiller.”

He didn’t conjure the contract that appeared in front of them on the desk. One that’s longer than the miniscule mortal is tall. But it states the pest is the one in control.

David stared before growling. “You little-”

“I have dealt with enough of demons to know a contract when I hear one,” the mortal, James began, having the audacity to look almost disappointed. “You might be a god, but you’re just like every other SCP.”

...this, this human was an ‘SCP’ hunter?

That meant...that meant David was just caught. And David made it happen.

“You.” He couldn’t finish the sentence. Staring as he attempts to remember how to speak.

Because he was captured. The single sentence of trading the easiest chase for his name ensured David couldn’t add his own condition in. James filled in the blank. And by speaking his name, he completed his end of the contract. Meaning David has to hold his end of the deal.

When he can’t respond, James makes an offering motion. “We could keep this contract. I take you to the nearest facility, you get put into a containment cell, and studied by numerous scientists."

David’s fists clenched in fear. At the thought of never being able to leave, locked away for eternity as the centuries passed him by. No better than the other ‘SCP’s’ he reported himself to get captured. A god being controlled by mortals.

“Or, we can say this one has been completed in exchange for another one.”

...what could be worse than being locked up for eternity? “I’m listening.”

A blank contract appears on the desk.

“In exchange for keeping your identity as an SCP classified in which only I and the O5 have knowledge of, you will work as a senior researcher in one of the facilities where we contain SCP’s.”

“You’re kidding me,” David growls. “How is that any better than the first one!”

He’ll admit, he’s impressed the human never flinches with his movements or his yelling. He knows this form is terrifying for most mortals, but it seems like this particular one has faced a few giants in his career. Though even if there was fear, he wouldn’t do anything to reduce it.

He should threaten to squash the pest if anything...

“The first one has you as the SCP being researched,” James explains slowly. Patronizingly. “The second one has you researching other SCP’s.”

“Right,” David huffs, unable to feel accomplished at the brown hair being blown back from his action. “Yet I’ll be surrounded by mortals like you.”

“You won’t know you’re an SCP. If any of them figure it out or I tell them, my side of the contract will be broken. And no one will be allowed to put you in containment until you are a mile away.”

“Ten.”

“Ten miles away.”

David stares at the human. Glances between the two written contracts. “Why are you offering this?”

James finally smiles. “It was almost too easy capturing my first god.”

“I could crush you.”

“So we like the first contract more?”

David sputters. “No you mortal pest!”

And the human goes and taunts him by reaching toward the one that leaves David imprisoned. He has no choice but to snap it away, growling as he extends a hand. Not even able to smirk at the fact the stupid little thing isn’t even as tall as his pinky. “Do we have a deal on the one entailing my employment?”

James immediately extends his own hand, and that’s when he finally sees the nonchalant façade crack as he jumps at his entire arm being enveloped by David’s thumb and first finger, a facsimile of a hand shake completed.

“We have a deal.”

His realm disappears immediately, their return to the human realm greeted by the restaurant owner waving a hand in front of David’s face, making him leaning back in confusion. “What are you doing?”

“You two were sitting there just staring into space for five minutes!” she exclaimed.

“Forget about it,” David waved before glaring at James looking smug. “Lead the way.”

“Right this way Dr. Harrison.”

“Mr. Harrison.”

“Researchers go by doctor,” James said as he walked out. “And they wear lab coats.”

“You’re the most sadistic mortal I have ever met.”

“You might want to get a different insult. You know, one that doesn’t scream you’re an SCP. I don’t want to throw you into containment only a week from now. At least last a month.”

“Like I would let you catch me again,” David grumbled as he quickly fell into step with the shorter man. His new coworker. The first and only warden he will ever have.

“I would,” James responded. “Catch you again. And again if you escaped, but I warn you with every success, the containment gets more and more difficult to do so the next time.”

“Very ominous. Did they teach you that when you became an ‘SCP’ hunter?”

“That’s just me.”

David scowls before finally allowing himself to accept the fact a mortal had bested him at his own game. Prepares for a role he never thought he would have to take, but at least he has one contract to pull it off. At least until James breaks his end, and then he’s free again.

“Anything else I should know about?”

“If you ever need anything, call me.”

#I am so sorry for the weird time again #but DANG is it good to write #might just have to ban homework in this household #but it's a David!!#FNAF bois #SCP AU #BTE writing #cw #content warning

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