#but most of my ships i can fit at least one line to so

[bittwitchy]

when it comes to my ships i need them to be bleeding bang the doldrums by fall out boy out of their pores or i'm not interested

#'brina ur so active today--' i had a party but everyones sick so it got cancelled which #is probably a good thing bc my skin splitting open issue has resurfaced again so everything hurts and i'm already anemic but now its worse #so my lightheadedness aka my weird level is wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee #'brina are you okay--' this happens usually every few years but theres been years where it was every few months so #im still alive so im gonna say yes #i went to skin school to learn abt this shit and found no answers also ive been to multiple skin drs and nothin #dont know what it is dont know what to do it happens to the skin that gets the most like 'wet' ig #like underarms and thighs and stuff yknow #or inside my nose which is the wORST #bc it woNT STOP BLEEDIN #and its the side i have better airflow in rn bc not swollen #yay me health problems teehee #anyways bang the doldrums #for all intents and purposes this is arguably a joke #but most of my ships i can fit at least one line to so #i still win #if not bang the doldrums it has to be wonderland by taytay

[biscuitboba]

Prepare for a very long wordvomits from yours truly (or just ignore)

The thing about me being so frickin obsessed with luffy and zoro's relationship is that... i just think they really are that compatible and perfect for each other in a way that they just, makes sense 

Like yeah i think one or two ships involving zoro and luffy (other than zolu/luzo) are cute or at least ok, but like the amount of love i have for them is like dust compared to my love for zolu:"D And if i'm being reallyy honest, personally i can't really imagine zoro being with someone else that's not luffy IF luffy is present in his life and vice versa?, like for example i think *insert other luffy ship* is cute, but like zoro can't be present in luffy's life for that ship to actually work for me?? So it's gotta be an alternative universe where they don't meet... I can appreciate the fanarts of the other luffy and zoro ships though, as long as they are not insanely wayyy too out of character?? (i just don't actively seek out content of ships that i'm not crazy about)

Not to state the obvious but luffy is my favorite character in one piece:) and right after him, unsurprisingly it's zoro (zoro used to be my number one when i was younger but now he is number two, but i'm sure zoro is fine with me loving his captain just a little bit more, haha)

When it comes to the ships involving my favorite character(s)... i am actually suuuper picky about it? i have to think very deeply about it, like i only want what's best for them, but also the best for the other person too cuz it can't be one sided! And i literally love both luffy and zoro almost equally? (actually i always love the two characters that i ship cuz i can't ship my favorite character with someone that i dislike) With zoro and luffy i've done a lot of thinking. Like, a lot. I thought about all of their potential love interests, every single one of them, but always arrived at the same conclusion that no one completes them the way they complete each other. Proof? Plz just scroll through my tumblr #zolu or #luzo i literally only talk about their relationship😭 They really are the most perfect person for each other. It's almost like they were made for each other? Everything about them, their principles, their personalites, they just fits

Like they are so insane, because at a surface level they can be interpreted as just platonic (which is a completely fine interpretation for the non zolu people out there!), but when you try to look more into it, on a deeper level, looking at every part of their interactions while considering their characterizations, motivations et cetera, like everything just clicks. Their devotion towards each other, all the little things they say and do relating to each other. They are best friends, they are the captain and the first mate, and maybe they are also something a lil bit more? Sometimes i don't even think i can label their relationship, cause from the outside… their relationship looks so simple, yet not without depth (so much depth!) and nuance. With zolu, you either get them or don't get them at all. One thing for sure is that they work really well together!!

Also, everytime i think about zolu as just friends.. but then i compare my relationship with my best friend(s) to luffy and zoro's relationship... and i don't know, if my best friend treats me the way zoro and luffy treat each other? I fear i will have to drop the "what are we?" question. I'm so serious, like that man? zoro?? He is enamored. Completely whipped- bewitched, body and soul. While on luffy's side, his way of expressing love is more subtle, but i've talked about that before here.

They say there's a thin line between love and hate... but there's also a thin line between platonic and romantic love, and maybe that's why one of my favorite tropes in ships is the one where they start out as friends... (harurin from free, bakudeku, pegoryu, fluri, soriku, cloti, cleon, kimron, percabeth, kataang, lumity, appledash, katyana, korrasami, harlivy, etc #friendstolovers ftw!)

Like luffy and zoro... The god personified and the non believer. Oda is literally so insane for that..

One is very carefree and easy to put his trust in others. And the other is the more rigid one and needs to slowly build his trust. One is the more emotional one. The other is the stoic and more composed one. They share the same values, the same braincells, they can communicate and understand each other even without having to say much.

Their colors complement each other, their zodiac signs are compatible, their personalites can be quite contrasting but they actually blend perfectly. They are different but also the same. No one makes zoro smile as much as luffy, no one else luffy likes to lean on as much as he likes to lean and rely on zoro. No one makes zoro worry as much as luffy, even though luffy himself is very strong. No one luffy trusts with his crew as much as he trusts them with zoro, and his nakama means everything to luffy. They are the happiest when they are together.. fighting side by side, laughing with each other, talking with each other... They respect and understand each other the most. They are just so insane and i am also insane and-

They are the only two strawhats with twin numbers for their birth dates and months. The only two strawhats with CoC. The only two strawhats fighting for the greatest titles (pirate king and world's greatest swordsman respectively) they are the only two strawhats with a lot of parallels (let it be between each other like the hero talk in fishman island, or with the other captains and their first mates, which i kinda(?) have talked about before, here).

Zoro's the only member of his crew that luffy actually tries to find (he doesn’t stumble upon him like how he does with the rest of the strawhats) Zoro is the first person in canon that we see luffy enthusiastically feel it's okay to share his meal with. The first person outside of his family (i consider shanks and his crew, dadan, and makino as part of his found family!) that he cries and worries for (baratie arc). Zoro is the first person that he mentions when he splits up with his crew and the first one he calls whenever they meet again (alabasta, skypiea, punk hazard, zou, etc)

Zoro is luffy's anchor especially during difficult times (e.g. water7), he is luffy's voice of reason (e.g. pre-egghead), and luffy often listens to him (like when zoro gives luffy his assessment of a situation and how he thinks they should handle the situation and luffy immediately agrees to his plan)

And kinda random but meat is like the perfect food for beer! luffy's perfect for zoro!! Meat paired with the right beer can amplify each other's flavors. Even their favorite food (luffy) and drink (zoro) complement each other, like oda are you serious?? and the crazy thing is i'm pretty sure i haven't written down all the things that make me crazy about them

From their deal in shells town, then BOOM! zoro's sacrifice in thriller bark, all the way to luffy's blush, the iconic hug, and whatever tf that "if you're gonna invite our captain to hell, i'll come along as well" // "sorry... now you have no reason to die" bs in wano

Like how can i be normal about the two characters whose dreams have already merged into one that they can no longer achieve their dreams without each other by their side? i'm on my knees crying thinking about the bond between luffy and zoro-

#zolu #luzo #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #one piece #like whoaa wordsdump go brbrrr #im like insane about them that words arent enough to express how insane i really am about them #and i didn't even think about opla zolu at all when writing this like #and opla zolu are also insane #like i luv them so much i want to combust #sksksksosohs #ok im normal now

[bridenore]

HD longer fics recs : 90k to 100k words

Here are a few recs for fics ranging between 90k and 100k words.

You can see my recs for fics that have more than 200k here, between 150k and 200k here, between 125k and 150k here and between 100k and 125k here.

Allegiance and Sedition by SilentAuror [98k]

The war is in its fifth year, and Harry finds himself caught up in the confusion of friend versus enemy, spy versus traitor.

At Your Service by @faith2wood [95k]

Hogwarts students are in danger; Harry is determined to save them all. There’s only one thing he knows for certain: Draco Malfoy is somehow involved.

Balance, Imperfect by @bixgirl1 [91k]

When Harry sustains an injury in the line of work, he no longer knows how to navigate the life he loved, and finds help and solace from the most unexpected source.

A Case of You by @epitomereally [97k]

Draco was doing just fine working as an Unspeakable in Paris, hanging out with his living and ghostly pals, inventing new spells, and definitely not thinking about Potter. Then, Lucius just had to break out of prison and turn his world upside down. Now, Draco has to return to England, where he is forced to confront how family ties bind us—and one infuriatingly fit Harry Potter.

Chasing Dragons by @the-sinking-ship [98k]

Draco can think of only one way to outclass his pleat-front-khaki-wearing politician ex, and that’s by making headlines with an obvious upgrade. And who better to upstage the cheating bastard than the Saviour of the World, Harry Potter himself? Sure, Potter is a little rough around the edges in ripped jeans, a rumpled tartan shirt, and a permanent scowl. Draco reckons a haircut and a shave wouldn’t hurt, either. But Potter is also in need of a Healer willing to keep his secrets, and Draco is just the man for the job. It’s a perfectly reasonable exchange. They need only attend a couple parties arm-in-arm, smile nicely for the paparazzi, and tolerate each other long enough to convince everyone they’re smitten. In return, Draco will keep Potter alive and in one piece. But it isn’t long before Draco realises he might be in over his head, because Potter is ten tonnes of trouble packed into a leather jacket, and seems keen on hurtling himself towards death on the back of a flying motorbike. And that says nothing of Potter’s penchant for fire-breathing beasts and things that bite. Ah well, at least they’ll have some fun while it lasts. After all, Draco always did like a bit of danger.

Firebond by Oakstone730 / @i-didnt-wanna-do-it​ [94k]

Draco is forced to tutor Harry in potions. A slight problem occurs.

Helix by Saras_Girl [92k]

Seven months after the end of the war, Harry is feeling lost. Fortunately, he is about to be offered an unexpected and sparkling chance to find himself again. [2014 advent fic]

Hermione Granger’s Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run by @waspabi [93k]

‘You’re a wizard, Harry’ is easier to hear from a half-giant when you’re eleven, rather than from some kids on a tube platform when you’re seventeen and late for work.

How I Met Your Father by @dracogotgame [95k]

Harry sits his kids down and tells them a story. A very long story. 

How To Train Your Malfoy by @fencer-x [93k]

Good manners dictate that, when one’s best friend Apparates onto one’s doorstep holding the unconscious, haggard body of the schoolyard bully and begging for sanctuary, one ought to invite the two of them in for a cup of tea. Harry Potter sometimes wishes he weren’t so polite.

I Am Not Who I Became by mab_di [93k]

Draco left England after the trials and has travelled the world meeting wizards and Muggles from different cultures and with vastly different relationships to magic, each other, and the natural world. Now he’s a fisherman in Finland on commercial vessels. Harry has been struggling since the war and has become a recluse while trying to write his autobiography. An invitation to the Hogwarts class of 1998’s 15th reunion isn’t welcomed by either of them, but neither could predict how the night, and their reunion, will upend their lives.

Light up the Night by Saras_Girl [98k]

This year, despite his better judgement, Harry’s love life is going off with a bang. Advent fic 2019.

Season of the Spirit by Saras_Girl [95k]

It starts with a swan. What happens after that is a bit of a mystery. 2018 advent story.

The Silent World Within You by @femmequixotic and @noeeon [95k]

Harry only wanted Malfoy for one night, one birthday. It wasn’t meant to be anything more.

Tempus Fugit by Poison Pen [90k+]

A monumental cock-up in Potions means that Harry and Draco have more to contend with than mutual enmity. A journey of discovery, self-reflection and love.

Who we are in the shadows by @quicksilvermaid [99k]

What happens when you’re forced to become the very thing you despise? Ex-Auror Harry Potter, tossed out of the Ministry for something he had no control over, has been looking for a way back to his former life. When he comes across Draco Malfoy in the criminal underbelly of Wizarding London and in need of protection, Harry figures bringing him in to face the Ministry’s justice is his ticket back to everything he’s lost. But nothing is exactly as it seems. Not even Harry himself. And as he gets drawn further and further into Malfoy’s world of honour and deception he finds himself questioning everything he thought he knew—about his childhood nemesis, the Ministry job he misses so much, and most of all, about himself. What happens when you’re forced to see that you were wrong?

I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did!

#my recs #drarry #drarry recs

[in1-nutshell]

Hey, not sure if you're down for writing a continuation of the “Megatron 'accidentally' adopting human Buddy who fears nothing” post. But there was a line “Rung has a line of bots that express the same worry for Buddy one day doing something dumb and not being able to come back from it.” that I think should be expanded upon. Dangerous things are constantly happening to the lost light crew and Buddy must have the devil's luck to come out of everything that happens unscathed. I'd like to see that luck run out. I'd like to see the crew panicking because Buddy got hurt badly and there's been no news if they'll recover or not. I want to see Megatron deal with the impending mortality of his newly adopted kid poorly. And I want to see everyone on the lost light panic even more because if Megatron doesn't start a war if this kid dies, Whirl absolutely will. P.s please let buddy live, I may crave angst, but not that much.

Have a good day, love your writing

Ooooh! Have you been peaking at some of my drafts? haha! I have been thinking about what would happen if Buddy ever got hurt on Megatron's watch. But now more bots are going to watch.

Hope you enjoy!

Megatron and Fearless Buddy who gets seriously hurt

SFW, familial, platonic, angst but happy ending, mention of injuries but nothing graphic or detailed, Human reader

MTMTE/LL

As we all know Buddy fears nothing

And this put some stress on their friends and new dad, Megatron.

“Hey Megs!”--Rodimus

“Rodimus, don’t call me that.”--Megatron

“Yeah, not gonna happen. Anyways I was wondering if you’ve seen Buddy anywhere. They were supposed to show me something?”--Rodimus

“Show you what?”--Megatron

“Something about being a present for being Brainstorm’s ‘Guinea pig’?”--Rodimus

Buddy flying by on a jet pack.

“Hi Roddy! Hi Megs! Bye Roddy! Bye Megs!”--Buddy

“…”—Rodimus and Megatron

CRASH!

Both mechs start running

But as time continues to go on, their little antics are just normalized. Sure, there are still some bots that know the true fragility of the human life span. Such bots included but not limited to Ratchet, First Aid, Velocity, Swerve, Rung, Megatron, and Whirl

“Where are you going with those pilars?”—First Aid

“It’s nothing illegal, yet.”--Buddy

“What type of answer is that!?”—First Aid

But for the most part the crew thinks Buddy is almost as durable as they are. Yes, even Megatron has been guilty of this type of behavior. He isn’t too proud of that.

“C’mon Fleshy jump and do a flip!”—Random Bot

“Bet—”--Buddy

“I think not.”--Whirl

“Whirl?!”--Buddy

“If you break your dumb fragile bones who else is going to come with me on planet expeditions? Cyclonus? I think not. He sucks out all the fun.”—Whirl

“I am literally right here.”--Cyclonus

So, let the angst begin.

The place was being invaded by space pirates.

The pirates where taking the bridge and had successfully barricaded themselves in.

“Why can’t we just break the door down?”--Buddy

“The main room has delicate equipment. One wrong move…”--Megatron

“Okay that’s a bad idea then.”--Buddy

“We just need an opening from the main door and we can figure out the rest.”--Rodimus

“Hey, I’m tiny enough to fit through the crack under the door. I can open the door!”--Buddy

“Absolutely not.”--Megatron

“For once I’m agreeing with him.”--Whirl

“Hey, its not like we have many options here. Unless someone else has a better idea then I am quite literally the only thing stopping these guys.”--Buddy

“…go then…”--Megatron

He was going to regret saying it like that. The computers dashboard in order to unlock the door or at least give it an opening. So, when they were sure that the aliens weren’t looking, they sprinted over to the console by swinging up with a grappling hook to the chair and began running towards the buttons.

They had indirectly activated the plasma screens.

These were holoscreens all over the ship that would show what was happening on the bridge. Everyone had a front row seat to Buddy sprinting across the console. There where cheers as Buddy was coming closer and closer to the button

“They made it!”--Rodimus

“Way to go Buddy!”--Tailgate

“Just press the button.”—Ultra Magnus

“That’s my Amica—”--Whirl

It was right there…

The alien came out of nowhere…

“EW! A Rat!”--Alien

“A ra—"--Buddy

They swatted Buddy across the room in one swift movement. They’re tiny body hurdling across the room and off screen. A small sickening crack was heard.

It was barely noticeable.

But it caused a deafening sound across the entire Lost Light.

 Good news for the crew, Buddy’s shoe came off from the force of the hit and successfully pressed the button opening the door.

Everyone is lined up to take these aliens down.

Megatron and Whirl are at the forefront of it.

Megatron is trying to find Buddy while Whirl is absolutely destroying everything.

Megatron spots Buddy slumped over in the far corner of the room.

No motion, nothing

He is just frozen in place.

“Buddy…”--Megatron

“…”--Buddy

“Megatron! Move!”--Ratchet

Ratchet snaps him out of it as he is trying to help Buddy.

Megatron snaps out of it a cover him.

Buddy is rushed out an into the medbay.

Everyone is waiting.

The sudden gravity of Buddy’s mortality weighs heavily on the minds of everyone involved.

Megatron sulks in his room thinking about how he failed them. He can’t bear to sit by Buddy in the med bay. Ratchet understands and tells him that he when Buddy wakes up.

Whirl on the other hand, stays by Buddy’s bed side the entire time.

“Hey Tiny. It’s been a hot minute since you’ve open those little eyes… You mind opening them up?”--whirl

“…”--Buddy

“Fine be like that…”--Whirl

“…”--Buddy

“Well, you’ve missed a lot since you took that hit. One you have a ton of inner most energon by your room and a growing number of get-well gifts. I personally made sure none of you’re a secret bomb. Megs is still in his room and its giving everyone the creeps.”--Whirl

“…”--Buddy

“… Don’t tell this to anyone… but we miss you, you scared the ever living Pits out of us.”--Whirl

“…”--Buddy

Whirl has lost every good thing in his life. He is going to make sure that this one thing does go so soon.

Buddy does wake up

“Hye Whirly Bird?”--Buddy

“Buddy?!”--Whirl

“Why you looking at me like that? Someone died?”--Buddy

“You nearly did Tiny!”--Whirl

“But I didn’t, huh? It takes more than a hand to stop me.”--Buddy

“…I guess huh.”--Whirl

Megatron is zooming over when he hears. Buddy is trying to play off their injuries to try and keep the peace.

“Hey Megs.”--Buddy

“Buddy…”--Megatron

“You okay? You look like you’re dying.”--Buddy

“… that was a poor choice of words.”--Megatron

“Yeah I guess— woah, Megs?"—Buddy

Megatron gently holding Buddy’s hand the best he can

“Just let me hold you please, just a little bit.”--Megatron

“Sure Megs.”--Buddy

As they are recovering Buddy is treated with a bit more respect than they had before. Good thing too, they did after all manage to save the ship after all.

#transformers #transformers x reader #idw mtmte #mtmte x reader #mtmte megatron #mtmte rodimus #mtmte whirl #maccadam #mtmte x platonic reader #human buddy

[shawnxstyles]

green and gold

DATE: MARCH 29, 2023

summary: tom invites you to the brothers trust charity event that you didn’t really want to go to. you made up countless excuses, trying to run away from him like you usually do, but were convinced anyway. during the event, tom finally confronts you about always running away when he’s close. years of pent-up feelings are unraveled along with some clothes to make up for all the time you lost.

request: yess

song: dress- taylor swift

words: 7.7k

warnings: SMUT (f- receiving [fingering, slight masturbation, some nipple play], exhibitism, small praise kink, unprotected sex [coming inside], dirty talk), pining, lots of fluff, and some language.

note: i used this image because it was one of the only ones i could find of him at the event where he wasn’t with other people lol. this is hardly edited

best friends to lovers :) famous!tom x female!reader

–

You really didn’t want to go tonight. You had so many reasons, or excuses is what Tom said, why you didn’t want to go to a high-end charity event. But your best friend put on his puppy dog eyes and played the “I need you by my side tonight” card. It was truly an unfair move.

The “reasons” you gave Tom were all in-the-moment excuses. Like “I have to clean my entire apartment and it’s going to take a week” or “I’m not going to feel good for the next week”. Yeah…your excuses got worse every time he asked.

Tom told you a week in advance and it went like this; he asked if you wanted to go, you said no for three days straight, and then eventually caved because of those stupid puppy dog eyes. That’s how most of Tom’s requests for your presence went. At first, you loved the idea of all the fancy clothes and luxurious events, but after about two nights out, you were already sick of it. You respected that Tom did that and more for a living.

Like every other event he convinced you to go to, you shared a suite in some grand hotel that still made your jaw drop from its lavishness. He made sure his team arranged an outfit for you each time, every dress more opulent than the last. The dresses he got you always fit you so perfectly, you were in disbelief when you looked in the mirror at the final results.

Tonight was no different. Well, it was a bit different. As you stood in front of the full length mirror, you stared at your figure way longer than you usually would have. Tom ordered you a long, green dress with velvet fabric that comforted your skin. It was snug, flawlessly fitting, and had a huge slit that showed your entire leg. You made sure to shave everything and wear your tiniest pair of underwear, so nothing could be seen.

You weren’t a celebrity like Tom. Yeah, sometimes you went to events with him, but only for support. You were seen on the media with him a lot, and after at least a year of fans either “shipping” you two or hating you, they finally understood the idea that a man and a woman can be friends.

No matter how much you hated it, that’s all you two were. That’s all it was ever going to be.

You and Tom have been friends since you were kids. You only ever saw him as a friend, and he, the same. But as puberty hit and hormones developed, the line of friendship began to blur for you. When he had a few girlfriends (all for short periods of time), it became clear to you that he had no interest in you outside of a friendship.

His name got huge after he landed the iconic role of playing Spider-man for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. But your relationship together never faded, along with the confusing feelings you learned to label as a crush. Your “crush” eventually turned into a “like”, and then…well, you would be lying to yourself if you said you weren’t in love with the man.

And as you smoothed your hands over the velvet dress, your heart swelled at the idea of it all. A girl in love with her best friend.

You took a deep breath and pulled your conscience away from your reflection. You hastingly put in the dangly, gold earrings with matching green gems that Tom also ordered for you. Sparkling gold heels rested by the bed, waiting for your feet to become ridiculously uncomfortable. You strapped them on and grabbed your black clutch on the bed. You peered one last time at your shared hotel room before walking out and to the elevators.

Outside, a car was ready to escort you to the event. As you rode, you made light conversation with Tom’s driver, Eddy, and asked about his family and how his night was. While entering, sitting, and exiting the car, you repeated numerous thank you’s just like you did every time he escorted you. A few events ago, you overheard him say you were something along the lines of “kind-hearted” and “a keeper”, which made you smile to yourself. But you swear Tom replied saying “that’s the goal”.

Maybe it was all in your head, but it never left you. Even if it was, you wanted to hold onto it–the sliver of possibility that there might be something between you and Tom.

You trailed up the long, creme cemented stairs and opened the double glass doors. The lobby was roomy and extremely tall for no good reason besides the glistening chandelier that hung from the roof. The floor was covered in red velvet carpet with a white and gold marble outline. Heels padding the carpet, you checked in easily and were directed to the ballroom area. You followed and strutted into the decked out event.

Similar to the lobby, red velvet and marble decorated the floor and walls. The foundation of the walls were dark wood, which matched pleasantly with the other colors. Accents of gold were everywhere, including the white-clothed tables; candle holders, golden tassels, and picture frames. Voices buzzed all around you, but you hardly acknowledged anyone before taking in the beauty of the room. This was definitely one of the fanciest events you’ve ever been to.

After a welcoming look, you scanned the crowded tables for a familiar face. Or, familiar faces. Since this was The Brothers Trust charity event, all of the Holland brothers were present. That being said, it was also one of your first questions you had asked Tom when he asked for you to go. Why would you need to go if he had the support of all his brothers? You would just be there.

But that’s all he wanted. He just wanted you there. At his events, by his side; in his house, in his bed, in his arms–he always just wanted you there.

You got easily distracted by the outfits and people that it took you a minute to find him. But when your eyes spotted his face, your heart skipped a beat so frequent and fast that it became comfortable. Tom stood in a criminally charming tux by a table of middle-aged people, conversing with a wide smile plastered on his tan face. You watched as he laughed whole-heartedly when Harry made a joke, clutching onto his arm for support.

Without noticing, you had swallowed all your saliva and weren’t breathing correctly. Once your brain and body wanted to function, you used your legs to wander his way.

Tom was busy talking to one of his associates at another table when you caught his eye from across the room. The words that left the older man’s mouth turned into a muffled hum along with all the other voices in the room as he gazed at you. He’s seen you in a numerous amount of dresses, all beautiful and glamorous in their own way. But the dress you’re sporting tonight caused his breath to hitch in his throat and heart stop–correction, it made everything stop. Everyone around you blurred as he absorbed the image of you strutting towards him in that dangerous green and gold.

Dangerous because he might not be able to hold himself back tonight.

“Uh, Tom?” The associate questioned, causing Tom to shake his head and peer down at the man. Before the man could continue about whatever he was talking about, Tom politely, but quickly excused himself with a pat on his shoulder and met with you in the midst of the room.

He inhaled deeply to appear unaffected, like you didn’t just ruin his entire night–entire life–by taking his breath away and looking drop-dead gorgeous. He wouldn’t be too surprised if you killed him.

“This place is ethereal,” You said, head spinning and arms waving. “I cannot believe you made me come to this.”

“Why? You don’t like it?”

“Tom, I just said it was beautiful. Of course I like it. It’s just…a lot,” Your arms cross and you tuck your clutch under your armpit. “I don’t think this scene works for me.”

“Me either. You stick out like a sore thumb,” He teases with an exaggerated sigh. You dramatically gasp.

“What is that supposed to mean?!” You whisper-shout, leaning closer to him. He feels your breath fan his cheek and a slight blush creeps up his neck at the proximity. He doesn’t want to look down because he knows that he would get a glimpse of your breasts perched up by your crossed arms. However, his eyes betray him as his glances quickly at the pair causing a subtle twitch in his cock.

No more looking, Tom, he tells himself.

“You’re way prettier than all of these people. You’re killin’ all of their egos and raising all of their jealousies. If everyone hates me, I’m blamin’ you and that goddamn dress,” Tom expresses with gritted teeth, eyes wandering anywhere but yours. A wave of heat rushes up your neck and your eyes have a staring contest with the carpet.

When you finally have the courage to look back up, his eyes are piercing into yours causing your skin to feel flushed all over. The glare of his brown eyes kindles a small fire in the pits of your stomach, dull but throbbing. The feeling travels lower until there’s a slight drip in your thong.

“I’m glad I chose a good one,” He adds, eyes drifting to scan your entire frame once again with his hands behind his back. Your breasts raise up and down with the deep breaths you take, still unable to comprehend his previous words. You shake your head.

“You chose it?” You always thought it was some stylist, or literally anyone else but Tom. You thought it was just his money that he used to rent it. “Do you always choose my dresses?”

He nods matter-of-factly. “Of course. I’d like to think I know what you like.”

He wasn’t wrong. Every dress that he chose looked like it was made exclusively for you and only you. Whether it was flowy or tight, red or white, you always managed to leave the hotel room more confident than you had when you entered. Now that you think about it, you don’t remember ever telling Tom your sizing. It must have been something he learned along the way because like you said, every dress fit perfectly like it was tailored for you.

Before you could respond, a lady tapped on his shoulder and introduced herself. Tom didn’t hesitate to take a step back and introduce both himself and you. You greeted the lady kindly as you three talked about the goodness of the event. After a few minutes, the auction was set to begin and Tom had to excuse himself.

Before he went on stage, he showed you your seat, which was right in the front with Harry, Sam, and Paddy. You didn’t sit before giving them each a heartwarming hug, even though you saw them all yesterday. Even though you were in a glamorous ballroom you weren’t used to, you felt comforted by the boys you were close enough with to call the brothers you never had.

Sometimes, you wished you saw Tom that way. But when you compared the feelings in your heart and your head, you knew they could never be the same.

Finally, the auction started. Tom’s name glowed in dotted lights on the striped wall behind him. You turned your whole body to face Tom as he introduced the entire event before it got kick-started. Many items were being auctioned; paintings, autographed guitars, and other things that were so far out of your price range that you were deaf to all numbers over the thousands.

In between each item were fun little trivia games to keep the people awake and alert. It was an entertaining way to support a charity, and you felt a sense of pride because you knew it had been Tom’s idea. One of the trivia questions had been to guess how many na’s there were in “Hey Jude” by The Beatles. Some people got insanely close, but no one got it on the money.

After all the auctioning and bidding was over, you felt immensely poor, but felt instantly better when Tom came to sit next to you. The room chatted away, wining and dining while Tom’s brothers did the same. Unlike them, Tom turned to you.

“How are you?” His voice was raspy, probably from talking for hours. That subtle fire in your stomach tingles at his voice. You turn your body to face him.

“I’m good. You did really well up there, by the way,” You said, lifting your nearly empty wine glass to your lips. There’s a blurring stain from your shiny lip gloss on the rim.

“Thanks, love,” The graveliness of his throat doesn’t fade, even after he takes a few sips of water. You watch as his fingers wrap around the cup, and it’s embarrassing that you’re obsessed with his simplistic movements. You subconsciously lick your lips, unable to rid the dirty thoughts piling in your head.

Tux. Pretty. Hot. Raspy voice. Thick fingers.

Tom’s lips started moving, but you weren’t paying enough attention, too caught up in your head to focus on the living dream in front of you.

“What?” You asked, subtly leaning toward him. He leaned closer, lying a hand on your bare thigh through your slit. You quietly gasp because his hand is chilly from the water, but also because it was so close to where you ached. Your skin burned nearly causing you to break out in a sweat, contradicting his icy palm.

“Are you okay?” His other hand gently patted against your forehead and caressed your hot cheek with his thumb. “You’re warm.”

No shit. Does he see what he’s doing?

You couldn’t formulate a response when his hand traveled down to rest on the curve of your shoulder and neck. His hand on your mid-thigh rubbed reassuring circles as your heart thumped a million miles an hour.

“I’m fine,” You vaguely answered in a squeak, subtly squeezing your thighs when his touch got too much. His eyes glance briskly at your tightened thighs and anxious hands in your lap, a knowing eyebrow raising slightly. Tom didn’t mean to put his hand on your thigh, but now that it was there, he didn’t want to remove it. When he saw you squirm for a sliver of a second, he engaged in the idea that you might be turned on.

The thought made his cock twitch needily in his pants.

You didn’t notice, too concentrated on the feeling of his hands on you.

You wanted him to slide his hand up higher, to break that boundary that you’ve waited years to cross. But of course, when your chances were closer than ever, you had to be at some stupid, very public event. And doing anything explicit would be stupid.

“Are you sure? You’re burning up, love,” Tom’s hand squeezes the back of your heated neck causing you to inhale sharply. “And you’re so tense. What’s up, Y/N?”

You clenched your teeth. You began to run through every excuse in your mind, just like you had when Tom first asked you to this event. But he wasn’t texting you or calling you this time. He was sitting right in front of you with his hands on your neck and thigh. You nearly moaned out from just him rubbing your skin, his touch delicate with his rough skin. With every excuse you thought of, you couldn’t think of one that made sense enough for Tom to want to leave you alone for the rest of the night so you could collect yourself.

“I’m just really hot,” You complained in a low voice. Tom’s eyebrows raised, pursing and tightening his lips. To Tom, your voice sounded whiny and lustful. His dick stirred, slightly hardening at the growing conclusion that you’re highly aroused. Like him.

“What can I do, love?” He noticed the smallest quiver of your lip at the name, almost as if you were holding something in. He’s called you love for ages, so maybe it was something else. Or someone else…

What if it wasn’t even him? If it wasn’t him then what had you so worked up?

“Um…can we go outside? Need some air,” Your eyes traveled down to his pink lips, looking so soft and kissable. You were barely a foot away from him before he nodded and stood up. You didn’t know you were holding your breath until a wavering sigh left your mouth. Tom extends his hand and you follow him to what you assume is outside.

He leads you out a back door after giving a curt nod to a security guard. The chilly February night breeze brushes over your skin, finally cooling you down as Tom releases your hand. The exit led to an alleyway, a brick wall that grew darker one way. You strained your eyes on each brick and attempted to concentrate on your breathing. But Tom’s looming presence made it impossible because that fire in the pit of your stomach never dulled.

“Feelin’ better?” He broke the silence and it had you swinging your head to face him. You shakingly nodded your head with a quick hum.

You couldn’t take it. You couldn’t stand so close to him while you were feeling this way.

“I have to go,” You exhaled briskly before beginning to walk away. Tom told you to wait, but you didn’t.

You didn’t get more than a few steps before Tom caught your hand and spun you around magically. Your shoulders collided with the surface as he stood in front of you, caging you to the wall. Your breathing faltered as your heart bounced crazily against your ribs, skin beginning to burn up again. He faced the floor before finally meeting your wide eyes. He gazed at you as if he was searching for something and you wanted to give it to him, whatever it was, so he would stop looking at you intensely.

“Why do you always do that?” His voice was a whisper, low and still a tad raspy.

“What?” You scanned his features, allured by his lips only inches away from yours. He’s never been so close and it was dangerous. So, so dangerous. The only barrier in between you was that line of friendship that thinned with every passing second.

“Always run away. Every time…”

Your heart raced faster than it ever has before. It thumped out of your chest like a lovestruck cartoon character as he had you hanging on every single word.

He closed his eyes for a moment, seeming to collect his thoughts. “Every time I get close. Every time I want to be closer, you make up some excuse so you don’t have to be near me. Am I that horrible, Y/N? Is the possibility of this that horrible?”

Possibility? Possibility of what? Oh, please be what you’re thinking.

“No, God, of course not. You’re perfect. You’re too perfect that I get…overwhelmed when I’m near you. I can’t do this,” You shake your head and try to duck away under his arms. You’re completely disarmed when one of his hands drops to pin your hip down. Your wiggling comes to a halt.

“There you go again. Just stay, Y/N,” He leans toward you, mouth hovering near your ear. Your senses dial up to a hundred when you feel his breath tickle your skin. “You’re still warm, Y/N.”

You bite your lip, holding in a whimper that was threatening to leave your mouth. Your hips subtly moved against his hand that stationed you to the wall, but you weren’t going anywhere.

A thick thigh parts your legs, pinning you to the wall more securely. You gasp as his hand that was on your hip travels up and brushes over the warm skin of your cheek. You search for the words in your brain.

Maybe instead of avoiding it, just go with it.

Tom is struggling. Being this close to you has his cock rock hard under his trousers. He’s sure you could feel him against your bare leg, which was slightly spread for his own leg. His chest was restricting and blocking his air flow because he couldn’t breathe correctly. Your glossy lips were plush and soft, and he wanted nothing more than to kiss you until you shared oxygen.

You felt what you assumed was his large boner on your thigh. You mewled so delicately you weren’t sure if he heard it, but he did.

You felt years of friendship being slowly torn apart with every second he didn’t say something. You were about to push him off of you and sprint towards your hotel, which was miles and miles away, so you could die of embarrassment. Or maybe you would die because of your lack of cardio.

When you looked away from him, his hand adjusted your chin so you were staring directly at him. A soft kind of smile adorned his lips, but no words were spoken quite yet. You hated the sliver of hope that leaked from your heart. His thumb rubbed against your bottom lip and pulled it down, smearing your lip gloss.

“Do you know how long I’ve waited to kiss these lips?” Throat husky, he pushed himself impossibly closer to you, lips barely an inch away now. His nose bumped yours and you felt the breath evaporate from your lungs. “Sixteen years.”

“Sixteen years…” You repeated breathily. If you were to do the math, which your brain was very incapable of doing right now, that would be your entire friendship. Since you were only ten years old, Tom has been waiting to kiss you.

Tom’s been waiting to kiss you for sixteen years? That must mean…

“Promise you won’t run away,” Tom said, on the edge of pleading and demanding. A slow nod was all you did, and then Tom’s thumb slid down to your chin and tilted your head.

He pressed his lips to yours gently, slowly molding you both together. The motions are so agile, but you can feel everything this way. The tip of his tongue nudges yours, eliciting sparks of fire with every push of your lips. Your polished nails trail up and lightly scrape the soft hair on the nape of his neck. A swirl of passion ignites in your stomach, encouraging and begging for more. Eagerly, your movements got faster, rocking your heads together as you took in as much of one another as you could.

His body pins desperately into yours, smushing you against the rough wall. He removes his hand from your chin and slams it on the wall beside your head. His free hand lifts one of your legs, so he can slot himself in between you. A needy whimper escapes you as his clothed bulge presses against your damp thong. You clench around nothing but the aching and throbbing of your pussy.

“T-Tom, the dress–” You pant.

“I’ll buy you another one,” He slams his lips back on yours to shut you up, which of course, it works. But not for long before another excuse is popping up in your head.

“What if someone walks out here–”

“I’ll kill them,” He goes to kiss you again.

“Tom!” You dramatically shout with a giggle as your hand rests on his chest while the other is on his neck.

“Okay, I won’t actually kill them. Unless you want me to…” He drifts off, getting lost in your smile and your sparkling eyes.

At that moment, it hit him. He had you. He finally had you. Like he’s said, he’s waited sixteen years to have you. He’s been through trial and error with other girls, but they weren’t you. No one could ever be you.

Suddenly, someone bursts through the exit door and has both of your heads turning hastingly. Tom gently releases your leg as he scoffs annoyingly when he realizes it’s just his brother. His hand balls into a fist on the wall as he smiles irritatingly at Harry.

“There you are! Can you save this for later? We have things to sign and people to acknowledge,” Harry says before walking briskly back into the building.

“Yeah, let’s just “save this for later” like I haven’t waited long enough,” Tom mocks his brother with a grumble. You feel Tom sigh into the air. You bring your hand to caress his cheek reassuringly. After the last few minutes, you’ve gotten the courage to be a bit more vulnerable with him, without feeling the urge to run away.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’ve waited a long time, too,” You curl the corners of your lips into a faint smile as you watch your own thumb smooth over his tan skin. Tom practically melts into your touch, smiling goofily at you. “But we’ve waited this long, what’s a few more hours going to do?”

“Kill me,” Tom mumbles dramatically and you roll your eyes. “I don’t want you to run away.”

Your heart aches at his words. You made a promise to him, and you planned to fulfill that. After that kiss and feeling him in ways that you only imagined, you couldn’t run away now. You needed more of him, all of him. But even if you had all of him, you don’t think you’d be able to leave him again.

“I’ll stay by your side all night. Just like you asked,” You reassured and he nodded. He slowly backs away from the wall, releasing you, and all the heat between you dissipates. But your skin still burned from his touch and your clit still throbbed for him. You quickly adjusted your dress and wiped your hands over the fabric.

“How does the dress look? Fucked up?” You asked, spinning in a half circle. Tom cursed to himself, getting a view of the curve of your ass. That dress really did fit you perfectly, but he wanted nothing more than for it to be off of you.

“Not nearly as bad as I want it to be,” He husked, the sexual innuendo hanging in the air. He quickly swipes his thumb under your lip to fix your smeared gloss before leading you back inside. You blink a few times as he drags you through the door. You weren’t used to him being so blunt, but you loved it. It made you aware that there was something between you and Tom.

You had both surpassed the line of friendship ages ago. You looked back at it like a distant horizon as you entered a new, long-awaited arena; romance.

–

After what you swear was the longest two hours of your life, Tom had talked to every person at least twice with the addition of his goodbyes. Ever since you came back from outside, the tension between you and Tom was undeniable. You stuck to your word and were tied to Tom’s side for the straining hours. His hand was placed on your lower back for most of the night torturing you, and it was no different when he was ushering you out of the front door. Hastily, you both went down the steps and into the car with Eddy.

You tried your best to make normal conversation with Eddy like you usually do, but when Tom placed his large hand on your bare thigh again, it was hard to comprehend anything. Eventually, you entered traffic and Eddy got a phone call. He pressed a button and the wall that separated him from you and Tom was rolled up.

Tom gave you a knowing look as his hand raised higher on your thigh. Your breath hitched as his fingers were merely inches from your drenched heat. You instinctively spread your legs a bit wider, allowing him more access. He leans toward you, purposefully missing your lips and pecking your cheek. He tucks a stray strand of hair around your ear causing shivers to crawl up your spine.

“Are you wet, darling?” His thumb rubs dangerously close to your clothed cunt. Finally, his finger skims over the laced fabric, soaking. You whine when his delicate, teasing touch pets your clit. He chuckles hoarsely. “You’re soaked, baby. Have you been like this all night?”

You nod with closed eyes. “Please, touch me, Tom,” You plead quietly, in fear that Eddy might hear you.

“In the back of the car? Naughty thing,” His fingers press harder into your seeping hole, still covered by your panties. He rubs your hole, thumb petting your clit while your hand slaps over your mouth to keep you quiet. Your chest rises quickly with your racing breaths, your nipples poking at velvet material.

Tom slides your thong to the side, making bare contact with your dripping cunt. He massages your arousal around your folds while his thumb quickens its pace on your throbbing clit. That fire in your lower belly burns deliciously as his movements send you into a frenzy.

“Tom,” You mewled behind your hand suctioned to your face. Tom groans as his middle finger slips into your hole easily. Your hips buck into his touch, back slightly arched.

“Almost there, Mr. Holland,” Eddy informs on the other side of the wall. Your eyes widen as your heart beats quickly in a panic.

What if you get caught? Oh God, you would seriously die of embarrassment.

“Okay,” Tom replies simply, as if he’s unaffected and he isn’t fingering you in the back of a car. Tom’s voice lowers and instantly becomes raspier. “Are you almost there, Y/N?”

You remove your hand from your face, so you can hold onto his shoulder and nod briskly. Your nails dig into his tux jacket as your head slams against the leather seat. Rolling your hips for more, Tom inserts another finger into you and curls them. Your teeth stab into your bottom lip, probably drawing blood, so you don’t scream and alert the whole street.

“I need you to come, love. Right now,” His order was soft and sexy, but demanding and dirty. The thrusts of his fingers only increase in pace as he tries to get you to your orgasm before the car comes to a stop. With another curl of his fingers and a nudge to your clit, your stomach tightened until relief flooded over you.

Noticing this, Tom crashes his lips onto yours to dull your sweet noises. Every moan, scream, and whimper melts into his mouth as his fingers gradually pump into you. Your legs spasm intensely as your release coats his fingers. Tom pulls away from you and takes his fingers out from your sopping cunt, messy with your arousal and cum.

He doesn’t hesitate to raise the substance up to his pink lips, licking it clean off his hand with a devilish smirk on his face. You watch him do so with a widened mouth while you try to catch your breath, panting.

“Did so good, love,” His smirk never fades as the car comes to a stop. Before you know it, Eddy is unlocking and opening your door for you both. You exit first while trying to fix your disheveled appearance, so your post-orgasm look isn’t too suspicious. You mumble a thank you as you hurriedly walk to the front door of the lavish hotel. You stop in your tracks, almost forgetting your clutch in the car. Turning around, you walk back to the car and overhear Eddy and Tom again.

“I’m no fool, Mr. Holland. You told her.”

“I know you’re not, Eddy. And I did. Finally,” Eddy pats him on the shoulder. “And you can call me Tom, you know. We’re friends.”

“I know, I know. Because as your friend and driver, I know when to roll up the partition.”

As a wave of heat rushes up your neck and cascades onto your face, you realize that the clutch wasn’t that important and someone would return it. You resume your fast-paced walk into the hotel with an uncontrollable smile on your face.

A girl in love with her best friend.

–

Since you didn’t have your clutch, you were standing in front of your hotel room waiting for Tom. He wasn’t long after you, finally walking up to you with a smug smirk on his face. And your clutch in his hands. You snatch it from him.

“Finally, I can take these heels off,” You moan, slipping them off as he scans the card and unlocks the room. You place them on the floor near the door and head straight for your room. You don’t get too far, though, because Tom captured your hand and is twirling you around just like earlier in the night.

He traps you on the door, instantly warm against you. You feel his bulge poke your bare thigh as he spreads your legs slightly, fitting in between them. He grabs your hands and pins them above your hands.

“Your dress,” Rough and raspy, his breath fans your cheek.

“What about it?” You whisper, swallowing as your heart falters.

“I need it on the floor,” He husks. You hesitate, so aroused you can’t think straight. You just had an orgasm in the car and you were already horny again. This man made you insatiable.

“Then take it off,” You reply. Everything was so quiet around you. The only things you could hear were your ragged breathing and galloping heart. Tom groans, but listens.

He drops your hands and then folds the straps off your shoulders until your dress is pooled around your ankles. Now, you stood anxious in nothing but a black thong.

“Fuck me,” He grumbles after just looking at you for a second. Your breasts were bare and perky, nippled pebbled from being so turned on. He wanted to put them in his mouth and suck on them until you were sore and begging him to stop.

“That’s the goal,” You’re not sure if he got the reference, but he chuckled, voice even more raspy from the low talking.

“I knew you heard that conversation, you minx,” Without a warning, Tom sweeps you off the ground and throws you over his shoulder. You squeal, squirming in his hold, but it doesn’t even phase him as he leads you toward his bedroom. He jokingly slaps one of your ass cheeks causing you to shriek at the jolt of pain. You won’t lie, it turned you on even more.

Tom tosses you on the bed easily, watching as you scramble to lay on your elbows. You gaze at him with a seductively lip bite, wondering what he has in store for you.

“Touch yourself,” He orders as he loosens his bowtie around his neck. “C’mon, want to see what you can do.”

Hesitatingly, your hand sails down to your laced thong, slick with arousal. Your fingers rub your throbbing clit causing you to sigh and spread your legs. Your eyes drift shut as you get immersed in the feeling of your own hand. Your other hand massages your breast, gently pulling on your nipples. Getting eager, you yank your panties off. You get a glimpse at Tom, who is admiring your every move in nothing now.

Fuck.

You’ll never get used to Tom’s body. He was attractive on a God-scale level and sometimes that scared you. But finally seeing his whole body was jaw-dropping. His cock was girthy with a good amount of length that you had a feeling would kill you. His tip was pink like his lips, and like his lips, you wanted your mouth on it. Was he even real?

You didn’t get too much time to think about it because Tom was removing your hand from between your legs while hovering over you. His brown orbs ogle yours, piercing into your soul and reading you. Although you were way past friendship, entering the “romance” area was very scary. If not, scarier. Tom’s body above yours and the way you could see every detail of his skin terrified you. But you’ve never wanted something more in your entire life.

You pushed your head up, interlocking your lips with his. You melt into a passionate kiss, your hands entwining with his brown locks. Tom drags his lips down your neck, sucking for a moment on a sensitive part. Moaning, his smirks smugly against your skin, trailing lower. He meets your breast and immediately begins to suck on it.

You sharply inhale as his tongue swirls around the bud. His other hand twists the other causing your back to bend off the mattress. It should be illegal for him to be this good with his mouth. He could cause some serious damage.

He sails lower and lower until he’s kissing the skin near your heat. You’re already panting and he hasn’t even touched you yet. His mouth licks your thighs, teasing you immensely. You had already come once tonight around his fingers, you didn’t expect his mouth too. Although you would love to have his mouth on you, right now, you just needed him inside of you. You needed to feel him stretch you out and officially break that boundary.

“I really need you inside of me. Like right now,” You yank on his hair, pulling him towards you. He moans at your words and you love how vocal he is.

“Need a condom, fuck, hold on–”

“Can you actually um…not have one?” You suggested, voice shaky as the question came out. You just wanted to feel him. Everything that he was willing to give you, you wanted. You’ve both waited too long for this. In some way, you felt like you were in a relationship with him this whole time.

Maybe that’s what friendship to relationship feels like.

“Are you…are y’sure? I mean, I’m clean and everythin’–”

“Tom,” You put a reassuring hand to his warm cheek. “I’ve never wanted something more.”

“Christ,” He grits and strokes his shaft above your cunt a few times. His tip teases your entrance, and the small, but very bare contact had you both hissing into the air. “So fucking wet for me.”

His dribble of pre-cum mixes with your arousal as he rubs himself against you. Finally after ten years of waiting, literally, he slowly pushed himself inside of you. The crown of his cock is squeezed by your walls as if you were going to lose him. He curses, pulling himself out an inch, just to add more of his length.

Just like you craved, you feel the impending stretch as his entire cock gradually enters you. Once he’s fully in you, you sigh as he holds the position for a moment. You both take in the feeling of the moment; you’re never going to forget his body on yours or the look on his face as he slowly moves.

“God, you’re so fuckin’ tight, darlin’,” Tom moans with a lip bite.

“Please, please, move,” Just as eager as you, he obeys your request.

He lifts his hips, almost pulling completely out, before thrusting back inside. You cohesively moan, your mixed sounds echoing off the hotel walls. His leisure rocks gently accelerate into powerful pumps, hitting that sensitive spot with a simple nudge of his cock. Your body naturally levitates toward his body, pushing your neglected breasts on his skin.

Tom rams his cock into you, pinning you to the bed with his harsh thrusts. His head falls in the cradle of your shoulder as one of his hands lifts your leg to spread you wider. When his dick sinks entirely deeper, you gasp and drown in a mix of moans and screams. Your nails dig into his tough shoulder blades, probably leaving crescent moon shaped marks. Your leg wraps around his backside, forcing him to be deep inside of you forever.

Your head is thrown back onto his pillow, hair fanned out wildly. When Tom lifts his head to look at you, the wind practically gets knocked out of him. You were drop-dead gorgeous in your dress, like he said. God, your naked, bare figure nearly sent him into cardiac arrest. But watching you wither in complete bliss underneath him gave him a sense of pride that he was the one making you feel this way. No one else. And it would never be anyone else ever again.

With this thought, his cock pumps barbarically into you, rightfully proving to you that your friendship will never be the same. He repeatedly pokes at your G-spot, eliciting debauched shrieks from you. When you thought it couldn’t feel any better, Tom’s hand sneaks between you both and circles lightly on your clit.

“Feels so good. God, you’re so good,” You praise breathily. Clenching around him, a shuddering moan leaves him. “I’m so close, please.”

“Gonna come for me, hm? Need to feel you come around my cock,” Tom orders with another jarring thrust into your cunt. Your eyes roll to the back of your head with his demanding words, your body on the verge of caving.

Squeezing around him greedily, your entire figure tenses as an overpowering wave of relief floods over you. Your abdominal muscles clench intensely, your hands cramping from fisting his skin so hard. Your legs flutter around him as you begin to coat his cock in your release. At the same time, you feel the twitch of Tom’s length inside of you, alerting you that he’s close.

“Where do you want me to…” He grunts when you clutch around him from overstimulation. A string of curses leak from his mouth as he holds back his load, waiting for your response.

“I-Inside, please. Fuck, I need it inside of me, Tom,” You panted as he practically growls against your perspired skin.

“Fuckin’ killing me, angel. Shit,” Finally, Tom releases into you, pumping sloppily as he does so. You sigh relievingly as his orgasm covers your walls, tingling your insides. He slowly pushes every drop inside of you, ensuring you didn’t miss any.

Your eyelids flutter closed as Tom falls on the bed beside you. Your body sinks into the mattress beneath you, suddenly too tired to move. You had a keen feeling that tomorrow you would struggle to walk, or move in general.

“Tom,” You start. “I think you just ruined me forever.”

“Good,” His post-orgasm was somehow even more sexy. It was groggy and double raspy. He drags your body towards him and holds you close. Your head relaxes on his buff chest, his rapid beating heart making you smile to yourself. “I want to ruin you for everyone else.”

The heat on your skin that you thought had ceased never did, not with his flirtatious and alluring comments. A flush creeps up and makes your cheeks all warm against his torso.

“You know you’re mine now, right?”

“That’s definitely not how I pictured you asking me out…”

“Well, how did you picture it?” The truth is, you never really pictured it. You never let yourself think that far because then you would start getting hopeful. And being hopeful made you scared, and when you were scared…you ran away. It was a constant loop of life you lived in. However, with Tom lying beside you as your face was cradled in his chest, you had a feeling you wouldn’t have a problem staying this time.

“How about “Will you be my girlfriend?” That seems better.”

“But what if you said no? Might as well jus’ say you’re mine, so you can’t,” He kisses the top of your head softly while you roll your eyes at his foolishness. “Aren’t you glad you went now?”

“Yeah, yeah,” You wave him off. Realizing you have to get up from the comfort of his security, you gently push yourself up into a sitting position.

“I really don’t want to get up.”

“Then don’t? Just stay here. We don’t ever have to leave this room again.”

“As much as I love you, I’m not sleeping with a face full of makeup,” You begin to slide off the bed before you realize what you just said.

Oh fuck. Did you just admit you loved him after not even five minutes of being in a relationship?

“You love me?” He gripped your wrist, but didn’t spin you like what he did earlier. This time he let you stand still in shock of your own words. In every other situation you would have run away or made some excuse. But you wanted to be different. You didn’t want to be so easily intimidated by intimacy or vulnerability anymore. You really did love Tom, you always have, even if it took you a little longer than him to realize it.

Maybe instead of avoiding it, just go with it.

“Yeah, I do,” You smile full-heartedly at Tom, delicately biting your lip. A part inside of you bursted open, unlocking all sorts of emotions you didn’t know how to comprehend or express.

“I love you too, So much,” You both lean in to share a passionate kiss, but you cut it short to seriously push him off of you, so you could leave and wash up. If you didn’t have an ounce of self-control for the both of you, you would never leave this hotel room. Tom was clearly the insatiable one.

“If you don’t come back to my bed in five minutes, I’m dragging your ass in here. No warnings,” Tom says before you strut out of his room completely naked. You hear him groan to himself, which makes you giggle like a young school girl.

Walking to your bathroom, the same uncontrollable smile etches on your face like the one you had when you returned to the hotel. You splashed icy cold water to your heated cheeks and tried to rub away the plastered grin, but nothing could dull the adoration you felt for the other man in your hotel room. Instead of trying to erase it, you stared and allowed yourself to feel the emotion without running away from it.

A girl in love with her best friend.

A boy in love with his best friend.

Best friends who are stupidly in love with each other.

–

this was wayy longer than i thought. i liked this a lot more than i thought i would, too. i hope you enjoyed it just as much :D

tags: @lnmp89 @crybabyddl @pretty-npeach @marine-mayday @aerangi @justanotherpasserby-blog @tinafuentes @moniffazictress11 @eywaheardyou @alwaysclassyeagle @mrstealuregirl @bisexual-desi @sherlockstrangewolf @madsttx @graywrites20 @bradtomlovesya @raajali3

crossed out= not able to tag

#shawnxstyles #tom holland #tom holland smut #tom holland fan fics #tom holland fan fic #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland one shot #tom holland fluff #tom holland best friends to lovers #tom holland friends to lovers

[silverechosandblankmasks]

Post-Purgatory headcanon

// CW for talks of potential Egg/Child death and the fact several people tried/try to kill themselves after said eggs supposedly die (if you see this again, I accidentally deleted the orginal post adhsjhdaj so I had to repost it sorry lol)

In my head, the people fleeing Purgatory had a little more time, or a little less distance to cover or hell maybe managed to find the boat quicker, and everyone who wanted to stay behind was either dragged or knocked out because nobody left behind even now, even in the face of tragedy.

I should also say it's my hc some people were left behind in Quesadilla island (mostly people who didn't participate in Purgatory at all) though lorewise I'm making it so some of the ones who just didn't make it to the last day were there on the last day, but several people were actually sent back to Quesadilla island early for whatever reason.

Phil on his barely held together wings and with Fit's stolen elytra and rockets, they carry most people, either with lasso trains or managing to pick up people as everyone bolted for the ship.

People are quickly and efficiently ferried or run to the boat, with Tubbo and Phil being last as Tubbo refused until his people were gone first, but Phil's wings get hit by a stray meteor just before they make it and Phil goes down hard, wings screaming in agony.

Thankfully they get on board and sail away pained and feeling grief, but alive, as the bomb goes off in the distance.

Almost everyone made it, and they’re only missing Maximus, but in their sorrow fueled state a lot of people are still mad at the man so not many can really find it in themselves to care at the moment.

It's rougher when those either unconscious or tied up for their own safety are waking up or finally freed from their ties. The ensuing argument is dark, loud, and painful on all sides, more than one person has to be retied back up and carefully watched in case they try to "Finish the Job" they were stopped from doing on Purgatory.

Thankfully, most of the argument is settled after Phil tries to tell them he doesn't think this is it, there might be a chance-that Cellbit tearfully spits out to not give him hope, he can't Phil, he yells-

Phil silences him with a sharp word, familiar in the way Cellbit unconsciously falls in line as a well-built habit from these last two weeks forces him to settle enough to listen to his team captain.

Phil looks at him, and the other parents, and evenly tells them that right before the rest of the room collapsed him and Etoiles did see Richarlyson before he suddenly disappeared before their eyes and that had to mean something. (Yes I'm making that canon, shh they need something to push them along, and I like the idea)

Cellbit only shakes, and Phil quietly looks at the other parents who tried to stay behind, who want to stop hurting, and asks what happens if they are alive? And come back to parents who didn't even try to stay alive for them?

There are flinches and more than one person starts crying, but Philza keeps going, and ignores his own tears dripping down his face as he fails to hold them back.

Phil's not asking them to hope, he can't, but he can ask that if they can't stay alive in honor of their children, who wouldn't want them to give up despite the pain, or can't find in themselves to live for those who did survive, that they stay and try until they at least know for sure, their kids deserve that at the very least, even though it hurts.

After a long, tear soaked silence, finally tensions are lessened and agreements are made, either out loud or silently in a very slight nod. Nobody is happy or 100% okay now, hell a lot of them still need to be watched, but they make due.

Wounds and injuries are tended to in the ships, admittedly small, infirmary. Phil has to be carried because he collapses in pain after the conversation the minute he tries to help out, and rides out waves of agony as they set his arm and left wing, and gets his injuries cleaned.

They try to get him to rest, but he refuses, before finally compromising and taking it easy, with only overseeing, planning, and sitting often under his team's and Tubbo's scarily watchful eyes. Honestly, he can't be too mad though, he has people to worry about him at least.

Food/water are heartily indulged in after two long, long weeks of borderline starving for most of it. Most of them are malnourished, dehydrated, and fucked up in more ways in one, so they focus on making sure they won't run out of food before they managed to get... somewhere, but don't limit themselves or anyone too much, it would be cruel after everything they endured.

That night, and every night after, instead of making use of the rooms they collapse together in one of the common areas, in a nest of hastily put together mattresses and even more blankets and pillows than they're pretty sure they had on Quesadilla island. People are curled together, masses of limbs and bodies thrown over everyone and holding, making contact with as many people as possible.

There is a divide, mostly by team, on the first night or two, even through pain and freedom it's too early to let go of the fact each team do not feel safe with the other team at their back. Though, Phil can't help but notice that Soulfire is spaced out evenly, even amongst their own.

Sure, several are curled together, but it's uniform and mostly only touching by held hands or sharing space but not touch. Bolas, on the other hand, are practically suffocating each other in their sleep with how tightly wound they are around each other, a normal sight, but it's somehow More now so many are in turmoil.

It makes a sort of sense when Phil finds out the blue team often had actual bed spaces and barracks set up for them, if not with beds then some other sort of material.

But Bolas was often too poor to risk using wool or supplies for beds and figured it was just easier and safer to stay close, so even the early days were spent piled on each other, reaching warmth and comfort in their team on roughly constructed blankets and hay bedding.

Soulfire was a team of their own, but not like Bolas. They were a brotherhood, where Bolas was a family. Not to say they didn't care for each other, it was clear they did, it was just a different dynamic was all.

But, the nights after, there's a noticeable spread as they get used to once again sharing space and lives with the other team, rekindle friendships from before Purgatory that were either put on hold or temporarily pushed aside. Soon they're one giant pile of comfort and safety.

They also unconsciously take watch from the first night, despite how safe they are it's too soon to break the habit, but it's made easier by how many people there are.

It was almost funny when the first watchmen of each team realized the other was awake, exchanging a nod but return to watching over their teams after the surprise leaves. Later nights, people on watch were still one from each team per shift, but they'd spend it talking quietly or playing silent games.

And over the coming days there are hard conversations, people sobbing in someone else's arms, fights, and nightmares that wake everyone up with the screaming.

People have to be stopped from hurting themselves or others, bitter words soothed and apologized for from grudges better left on the island. A lot of people have to be taken out of their own heads, and finally some of the more shell shocked people are brought around to lucidity.

Bad in particular takes days to stop staring blankly at the horizon to come uncurled from Dapper, who hasn't tried to really leave or disturb his father except for food and water to be shared, and is very tired from everything. Nobody blames Dapper for living, and are happy he's alive, but the other parents tend to avoid him just a bit when the sight is too much, and Dapper is very much also in shock.

They're very worried when Bad's memory starts to blank or when he gets confused, they think from a serious head wound and trauma he underwent, but cant do much then be there for him and hope he can heal from it.

But they have each other, and they're alive, and that has to be enough.

Then, after a time, they end up back on Quesadilla island.

They all spend the next few weeks still living/piled together, after undergoing vigorous examination and interrogation from the Federation, until they feel safer and can unlearn the habits born from fear and survival, specially Bolas who... let a lot of themselves go in order to survive what happened, and the feral need that came with it.

They then reunite with the people either pulled from Purgatory or those who never went, and most of the Purgatory-experienced people are absorbed into their habits and those unknowing watch, horrified, and try to help the best they can but often have problems connecting due to not being able to understand.

After they start to disperse, they live in groups or pairs for a while to keep watch or provide comfort, some people even making temporary, or even permeant, new homes while they figure out their new place in the world. It's common to have giant sleepovers at a newly constructed building, they fortify and kit out to be safe and comfortable.

Everybody lives, for their own reasons, healthily or unhealthily, for sad or good reasons.

And then, one day, the eggs are returned to them. Sleeping, in bad condition in a hospital, but they are alive and they are home, even with new Eggs too. And they are thankful they are alive to see their kids, and live for them too.

Please, if you did enjoy, reblog and just not like. Likes do nothing and it's kinda disheartening to see like 50 likes and 4 reblogs only for it to die because nobody else sees it after the first 3 days. I'd appreciate it greatly! <3

#mine #qsmp #qsmp purgatory #qsmp post purgatory #qsmp headcanons #team bolas #team soulfire #qsmp eggs #qsmp philza #q!philza #philza #qsmp cellbit #q!cellbit #cellbit #qsmp badboyhalo #q!badboyhalo #badboyhalo #only tagging these three since #i only wrote them actually as characters #and the rest as mentioned lol #This also kinda #somehow #turned into a character/team study ajdhsjkha #i just have too many ideas lol #sorry i only go into Team Bolas and Team Soulfire dynamics #i figured by the end #green members are too integrated into the new teams #habits and dynamics to #showcase too much separate from when green operated #i have these scenes SO vividly in my head lol

[twinksintrees]

so i am absolutely obsessed with @play-rough’s classification au on ao3 and it got to the point where i needed to make a whole playlist dedicated to it, so here it is, i hope you all like it.

playlist breakdown under the cut

understand: it’s the first song on here because of @/knoxx.tbox’s animatic, it’s gorgeous and everyone should check it out. it captures the gentle, caring part of their relationship perfectly.

little space: it’s just a song about little space, i also found the line “and i start to give in/to the sin/to the sin” very fitting for dazai because of just how much he hates his little head space.

hazel: sad tired dazai vibes, it makes me think of the second fic where he stays up all night, trying to drop but can’t, and the poor baby is just so out of it. “hold me tightly” he wants chuuya to hold him so, so badly. but he can’t say that, he can never just say what he wants, so he has to wait until he drops and then he has no choice, and he hates it. but yeah it also just soft sweet comforting vibes to me.

smoke signals: this one’s weird cuz unlike most of the songs on here where they’ll apply to either dazai or chuuya, this one has a stark divide of both. the first few lines “i know i’m a freak/ripped the band aid, broke the peace/took the lock but lost the key/guess i set you free” are so dazai it hurts. he thinks he’s a freak, he hates himself for his regression, he thinks leaving and getting out of chuuya’s space and life is setting him free from dazai. but that’s not what chuuya wants, the rest of the song is all about chuuya always welcoming him back, always wanting him there when he’s upset, wanting to be there and to help him. he wants to take care of his baby and for his baby to let him.

almost home: this one just gave me very gentle sweet vibes. it also made me think of the car ride back to chuuya’s apartment after dazai bit tsu and walked back to his shipping container alone and regressed, and just chuuya lulling small dazai to sleep and holding him, happy to have his baby back.

moon river: i wanted at least one nice lullaby on here and this is what my mom would always sing me so it’s just very personal to me lmao. just picturing chuuya humming/singing it to little dazai makes me v happy.

treehouse: the childhood friends vibe. “i’m the captain/but you can be the deputy” just like, describing their bond together. the closeness, the trust, all that.

escapism: this one’s all about dazai. him wanting to be free from his pain and wanting to be free from his little space, while also using his little space to escape his pain, if that makes sense.

beautiful boy: first off this songs just makes me insane second oughhhh chuuya singing it to dazai would end me. he’s chuuya’s boy, his sweet little baby. and chuuya will always be here for him, will always keep him safe, will always do his best to quiet the overwhelming voices in his head. they’re so soft it makes me unwell.

yellow: also a chuuya one, he’d do anything for baby dazai. he would bleed himself dry if it came down to it.

i need to be alone: dazai angst. the isolating himself when he feels little space coming on. the antsy-ness, the irritability, all of that. he doesn’t want to snap at chuuya, but he doesn’t know what else to do, doesn’t know how else to handle it. so he lashes out and somehow, still, chuuya is there. he hasn’t pushed him away yet. dazai doesn’t think he can handle the day he hits his limit.

i’ll die anyway: similar vein to the above. sad dazai.

juliet: the opening verse is so dazai core to me it hurts. “but i need to understand/when I can power through/and when i need some help from you/when i should stand my ground/and when i need to just sit down/sometimes i act like i know/but i’m really just a kid” all of this speak to dazai and his relationship with chuuya, specifically with accepting his help with his little space. he doesn’t know what to do, how to handle anything, when he’s little he is just a baby. chuuya knows what to do, what will help him feel better, knows how to take care of him and make him feel good. and dazai has mixed feelings on that, because he loves chuuya and he loves his attention, but it hurts to receive sometimes, and it hurts to not know what’s going on with himself, and that chuuya knows better what to do. he feels out of control and he doesn’t like it, but he still trusts chuuya and yeah it’s a whole thing.

i’ll keep you safe: chuuya song. very straight and to the point, chuuya just wants to keep dazai safe and happy and he wants to protect him, be there for him, quiet all the bad thoughts in his head. he knows how much it takes for dazai to regress at all, and the fact that he keeps doing it around chuuya (even though sometimes it is out of either of their control) just proves a huge amount of trust and chuuya values that so deeply, and that is a bond he would never dream of betraying or breaking.

rises the moon: imma be honest this one’s just for the soft vibes. i could see chuuya humming it as a lullaby, but mostly it just made me feel soft and happy so i put it on here.

small hands. this song. this song oh my god. i love this song so much it hurts. anyway it’s chuuya talking to dazai, “if you need come build your home in me, i can’t fix what was done to you, but i’ll shield you from the rain.” it’s chuuya knowing he can’t go back and erase dazai’s past, but being here for him now. he’s here now, and he’ll be here in the future. “cause i never mind, no matter the day or time, i never mind” chuuya would do anything to be there for dazai, it’s him telling him to reach out for help, telling him it’s okay, telling him he truly doesn’t mind, he wants this. he wants to care for him, to help. “and all the anchors that they hid inside your chest/we will unravel all of the chains/toss the remnants all down the drain” the anchors and chains being the trauma mori’s instilled about little space being bad. that dazai’s not supposed to, that he just push through and push it down and be fine. it’s chuuya telling him that’s not how it works, but together we can get you to regress safely and see that it’s not bad, it doesn’t have to scary, it can even be fun sometimes. it’s the slow process of working through all that trauma. “i will be there to pick up the pieces, and keep you housed while you bend them up” literally just chuuya always trying to have dazai over. his apartment is so much better than dazai’s shipping container. like just objectively. “if you wind up in the dark again/just turn and call my name/if the fire in your chest goes out/well i’ll hold you all the same” this whole bit also makes me think of after dazai bit tsu. “if you wind up in the dark again” is dazai going back to his container alone and scared. dazai doesn’t even need to call chuuya’s name before he’s showing up to help him, even if it’s a bumpy ride getting on the same page. “well i’ll hold you all the same” goes for chuuya’s feelings towards dazai in general. he wants to care for dazai in and out of headspace, it’s just the type of care looks different depending on where dazai’s at. sometimes it’s holding him in his arms, sometimes it’s pulling him back from a ledge. sometimes it’s gently feeding him a bottle, sometimes it’s forcibly fighting him into dry, clean clothes so he doesn’t get sick. and now for my favorite line “if you need to take this out on me/well you know i won’t complain” it’s chuuya never getting angry at dazai’s outbursts in headspace, cuz he knows how hard it is, how hard his baby is trying, he just doesn’t know what else to do with his overwhelming feelings. so chuuya takes his outbursts and handles them, and he’ll never hold them against his baby, because he’s literally just a baby what else is he supposed to do but cry and lash out when he’s tired and grumpy.

tired: sad tired dazai and specifically the line “cause i’ve been eating less all day/to give my brain some extra space to think.”

coffee: I know it’s called coffee but honestly this makes me think of chuuya prepping dazai’s bottles, making sure it’s just the right temperature, the right flavors for his baby. vanilla and strawberry, something more special than just milk. it’s cute.

feb 14: honestly i just kept coming back to this song and the playlist didn’t feel complete without it but i couldn’t tell you why, i don’t have a real detailed reason for it other than vibes.

this side of paradise: chuuya not wanting dazai to feel lonely/be alone and scared while in headspace. “come be lonely with me” all that jazz. i chose the slow version cuz the og felt to fast paced and overwhelming compared to the rest of the playlist, and i this fit it better.

#i’m very normal #it’s 2 am i’ve been working on this for 3 hours lmao #anyway once this is posted i’m gonna start the series over for the 5th time #normal things normal things #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs agere #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #chuuya nakahara #soukoku #skk #sorry if any of this doesn’t make sense i barely proof read it #also it’s 2 am so i’m sleepy

[roseverdict]

Writing Commissions Open!

Hey howdy hey, guess who's broke and whose brain has latched on to the idea of getting a bike or a trike to get places other than the one (1) coffee shop in walking distance!

YEP. I need to open commissions.

However, I do have at least one thing going for me- I'm told I'm fairly good at writing things! Fanfic things, at least. While I'm not dumb enough to outright go "hey, pay me to write fanfiction," I figure I can at least point out some fanfics I've written that seem to have gone over well as examples of my work, since that's most of what I've got for proof of my skills.

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I'd show more, but Tumblr won't let me add more images, and even these fought me Tooth And Nail when I was trying to format them properly. Truly a functioning website.

Hopefully these kind of give an idea of the vibes I'm strongest with, too. Pricing and rules will be under the cut. I do have a target I'm trying to reach here, but depending on how well this goes, I might end up keeping commissions open indefinitely. We'll see. :D

DM me if you're interested!

Things I'm Comfortable Writing:

Original Storylines (Brief primer on the world/characters I'll be writing with will be required)

Things like the pieces shown on my AO3 account

OCs

Y/N-style pieces (both with and without the actual usage of "Y/N")

Mild Romance

Gore/Severe Injury

Body Horror

Whump

Look, if it's in the Danny Phantom phandom and basically nowhere else, I'm probably just fine writing it, despite its intensity xD

Things I Will Not Write:

Smut. There's no shame in enjoying it, I just. Don't.

Incest. Absolutely NONE. Even leaving aside the whole debate about whether or not people should ship incest ships, I would not be able to enjoy writing it, which would make the resulting work of low quality, which would be a huge waste of time for everyone involved.

Pedophilia- specifically, ships with a minor and an adult multiple years their senior. See above. 17yo x 18yo is pushing it, but depending on the circumstances, I might allow it. They aren't exactly in completely different phases of life there. However, I'm in my 20s and don't particularly want to think about or write about kids the age of my youngest brother dating people my age or older, you feel me?

Bigotry presented to the reader as a positive thing. I'm not gonna write your favorite heroic character declaring OOC that minorities are terrible people. If you want something from the POV of a character meant to be terrible, such as someone like Fire Lord Ozai in AtLA, however, I may be willing to write it.

I reserve the right to refuse any commission and not have to explain why. Person-to-person, though, this will likely only come up if someone tries to commission something that crosses these lines and refuses to acknowledge such.

Payment: 5¢ USD per word. This works out to…

$12.50 for 250 words

$25 for 500 words

$50 for 1K words

and so on.

I'll need half the payment up front as a deposit, then the rest upon completion. If, for whatever reason, I fail to write the commission, you will be refunded in full.

If you pay me for a given number of words, I will do my best to stick to it. I will make sure you at least get your money's worth, but if I just can't quite fit the writing into the given limit, I won't charge you for the extra words. Call it 100 words or so of wiggle room.

A commission for a fic 1K or larger that runs 100 words or less over the intended length will not cost extra

A commission for a fic between 500 and 999 words that runs 50 words or less over will not cost extra

A commission for a fic 499 words or below that runs 25 words or less over will not cost extra

A commission for a fic that has enough going on to run over that limit will result in me contacting you to ask for either a scaled-down plot or payment for the extra writing.

I will not consider calling a commission complete until I can hit the target wordcount at minimum.

If it should happen that I just can't make a scene stretch to the full wordcount, but you still want to keep what is written, the words that were not written will be refunded.

#writing commissions #writing comms open #id in alt text #atla #rottmnt #tmnt #gravity falls #gf #msa #mystery skulls animated #ninjago #steven universe #steven universe: future #animator vs animation #ava/m #sticks #su #suf #trike saga

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Hi there! How are you doing? I have some questions, well, a rant *plus* some questions.

I feel... safer with allo allies than I do with aro/ace communities (online). Does that make me aphobic/bad? I don't go by labels because for me, they're not necessary. If I *were* to label myself based purely on definitions, I would be aroace, specifically, demiromantic asexual. I used to go by this a while back.

I don't fit the stereotype of being aroace at all. I'll talk about the aromantic side. Unlike most arospecs i've seen online, I LOVE Valentine's day! I LOVE shipping! I LOVE consuming romance fiction. I LOVE romance et cetera et cetera and yet I don't experience it like allos do. I need a strong bond with someone in order to fall in love and it takes me really, really, long to do so. But once it happens, my love is not 'weak'. It makes me pass really well as allo because of this, but it makes a lot of people in the aro community mad because I'm 'stealing' a label to 'feel special'. I was always told I was not aroace, that I couldn't be aroace by definition. That I was alloromantic asexual pretending to be on the arospec. That I was too scared to be 'basic'.

On that topic, and I think this is unintentional, but... why is nobody batting an eye when an aro or an ace person shames an allo or calls them weird or basic? Because they're doing exactly what allo aphobes are doing to them. I had this conversation with a friend and he said, 'that doesn't happen, allo people don't get shamed especially by aspec people', yet, I keep seeing things like 'I fucking hate allos so much' and 'To all my aces, we're not like allos, we're better' or something along those lines.

Whenever I enter an aspec online space, I'm made to feel like an intruder because, as I said, my experiences are very similar to the allo experience EXCEPT for the fact that I don't feel romantic attraction unless a strong bond has been formed. I'm not saying the aroace community is bad in any way, don't get my wrong, I'm saying that there is a massive gatekeeping problem going around and so much bubbling hatred and separation, and I don't understand any of it. In a prefect world, I'd happily identify as aroace, but I feel ashamed to do so now.

The gatekeeping... the infighting, I don't want to hate the online community of which I'm supposed to belong but this... this isn't right. The allo allies don't do things like this. They don't make me feel insecure about myself. And yes, while I don't experience romance like an allo would, I feel safe around them. I need to ask, have you seen this too? Have you experienced this? Is this truly all in my head? What do you think?

I apologize for the vent or if I seem aphobic, I just really need answers and I'm tired of the constant hatred... How are you? Did you drink enough water? Did you sleep well today? Did you eat? Again, I'm so sorry if I made you uncomfortable with this!

Vents are totally welcome, Anon. Don't worry.

I'm really sorry you ran into gatekeeping, Anon. I feel like that's something that's really been on the rise especially over the last couple of years. It's a real issue and it causes a lot of harm. This should go without saying, but demiromantic people are aro, and have just as much right to be here as anyone else on the aro spectrum.

I do think at least part of the problem is social media in general and how things are set up these days. We don't have community spaces as much anymore, in particular we've lost moderated spaces where gatekeepers can be properly dealt with. And there's very little curation or organization. Things are chaotic and fragmented, and one person's experience and what kind of posts they say see may vary wildly from someone else's. There's also a competing needs issue, where one aro may need to vent about romance, another may need their romantic side validated and there's no way to organize so each can find the space they each need.

If finding aro spaces/blogs that are more accepting is important to you, Anon (and it's OK both if it is or isn't), my big advice would be seek out demiromantic blogs and posters specifically. There's some very good ones around and they'll be posting about aro things that are relevant to you, and even more importantly won't be gatekeeping demi identities.

For more aro-general blogs, there are ones out there that are also inclusive and anti-gatekeeping, but it may take a bit of work to find them. Be very liberal with your unfollow and block buttons. If someone is gatekeeping block on sight, but also if they're not posting the type of aro content that you need or want to see, you're allowed to organize things so you don't see their posts. Sometimes unfollowing is enough, but blocking also doesn't necessarily mean the other person has done anything wrong, it's just a tool to make sure you're not seeing a blog you don't want to see.

For the shaming allos question, I do think it's a complex topic. For me it depends on context. I definitely do not believe in any kind of ace/aro superiority, being ace and/or aro, or being allo are both neutral. Nobody's smarter or more moral or more pure or anything like that. But sometimes people say things as a vent in the moment and are reacting to a difficult situation they've been in. So for example someone may say 'allos suck' but it comes from a place where they've been very badly treated by allos for being ace or aro but they're referring more to the societal systems that are in place that privilege allo people and make life more difficult for ace/aro people, they don't actually believe being allo makes someone a bad person. (It can be hard to tell what's going on just from a post, again it's OK to unfollow and block, especially if it's just not what you personally need to see in the moment).

Personally I don't come across a lot of this type of stuff, but this is what I mean about things being fragmented, the blogs I follow just aren't posting about the infighting or gatekeeping and I don't happen to see it in the tags when I go in there. But I do hear about it second hand, and it seems like it's a problem on other social media sites I'm not on as well.

I'm sorry you've had a hard time, Anon. But I am glad you've found people you can be comfortable with and be yourself around. That's really important too. And thanks for the reminder that I really should drink more water today.

Hopefully at least some of this is helpful, but if you have more questions or want to discuss anything in more detail, feel free to send in another ask.

All the best!

#aspec antagonism #vent post

[mappinglasirena]

The Stairs Under the Bridge

If you've been following my blog for a while, you know that one of the many mysteries/points of discussion that come up repeatedly is: what is happening in the space under La Sirena's bridge? There's a door leading there from the mess hall and we see Picard walk through it in S01E06, "The Impossible Box", but we never find out what that space is being used as.

(At least, we don't know what its in-universe use is. We know from set plans that in the studio, the space apparently held the playback setup.)

We got a glimpse of a cross-section of the ship in the Blu-ray set tour, which has some impossible geometry happening under the bridge...

(That is not a proper floor and something is definitely clipping through it!)

... and if you remember my post from a while back, I speculated that the most likely explanation is that the model has an extendable ladder there, that would allow people to board/leave the ship by a means other than the loading ramp. This would fit with the early idea of the season 1 writers to have Picard board La Sirena in a space port, rather than beam him on board while she's in orbit.

Well, a couple of weeks ago, we got confirmation that this is indeed what the production team originally intended.

Dave Blass, the production designer for PIC Seasons 2 and 3, tweetet some images showcasing a cross-section of the Sirena set/model:

As you can imagine, this gave me enormous joy (and a not too small amount of glee)! I have long insisted that the panorama windows, i.e. the exit the Motley Crew use to get off the ship once she crash-lands on Coppelius, don't really work as a proper access point to the ship. There is a three foot drop right inside the window the crew needs to bridge, no proper hatch, no ladders, etc. The only reason it makes for such a convenient exit is that Sirena is buried in a few metres of dirt, bringing the window level with the ground.

And indeed, La Sirena has, or at least was originally intended to have, a proper access to the front of the ship, one with a ladder and hatch and everything! And it's located in the mysterious space under the bridge!

But, me being me, this schematic also immediately raised a question: Isn't that ladder a bit too short?

If you remember this post, it seems like one of the changes made during Sirena's design process was that the wings were dropped quite a significant amount. Where the early concept art has the ship sitting fairly low to the ground, she is raised much higher when she reaches her final form.

Essentially, we went from a configuration that might have looked something like the version on the top to the actual model on the bottom:

This change increased the ship's clearance significantly.

For the non-imperial-measuring among us, the height of the ladder given in the schematic shared by Blass, 14' 10 1/2", translates to about 4.8m. However, when you line up the orthogonal view of the ship with the cross section, the length of the ladder is not really enough to reach the ground once the ship has landed.

(The green line indicates the bottom of the stairs.)

There is some speculation that maybe Sirena can fold up her nacelles for landing, and that might be true. There are rooms extending into the wings that would end up at an odd angle, but I suppose with artificial gravity, anything is possible -- if somewhat unlikely.

Still, if we presume Sirena's wings are rigid in general, the distance from the tarmac to the belly of the ship (here: the stage floor in the schematic) is a bit larger than 4.8m.

I wanted to adapt the ladder accordingly, but getting good measurements by converting between feet, pixels, and metres is a bit of a hassle. So instead, I simply used the measurements already on the schematic and extended the ladder so that the ship's clearance would be 5.5m or around 18ft.

This brings the total length of the ladder to about 21ft or 6.5m, and overlaid on the orthogonal ship view, it looks like this:

(The green line once again indicates the bottom of the stairs.)

As you can see, this length requires for the outer engines to fold up a little bit and would have the lowest point of the nacelles basically sitting on the ground. I personally think that would make a lot of sense, and in season 2 we did see that the outer engine pods are on hinges and can definitely fold down.

(It's subtle, but they do move back into their resting position towards the end of the gif.)

It was never confirmed that the engings can fold farther up as well, but looking at how they're attached, I think it makes sense that they could.

Now, in the adjusted S1 concept art of Sirena at the space port, the outer engines are in their normal positions and the wings are actually fully off the ground, with the ship resting on extended landing gear:

So, my extended ladder is the absolute minimum length needed to account for the dropped wings. In all likelihood the ladder would have to be even longer than that, because the clearance would be over 5.5m.

One thing that playing around with all of these views and measurements made me realize, though, is that La Sirena is quite a bit larger than I usually picture her. I have this realization about once every two or three months, so to make it easier to internalize, I asked the wonderful @regionalpancake to assist me.

Google helpfully suggests that 5.5m / 18ft is about half the size of a telephone pole or of three Michael Jordan's standing on each other's shoulders. It is also the size of...

... one average adult giraffe. (This is more or less helpful, depending on when you last went to the zoo, but I really enjoyed that as a visual aide.)

And because Regionalpancake is a good sport (and extremely proficient at adding animals to La Sirena), she also gave me this second edit:

(She also helpfully removed the spacedock workers who were a little to tall in comparison to Sirena. Hopefully, the friendly Averagely-Sized Adult Giraffe will make the ship's real dimensions slightly easier to gauge.)

So, now we have an idea of what might lurk beneath La Sirena's bridge!

I imagine in-universe, there is more stuff stashed under there than just the stairs, though. Perhaps the space gives easier access to the phaser banks in the nose of the ship, or to some other flight control or power distribution machinery. And there's still the question of why Picard, after a very emotionally draining conversation, chooses to head into this space rather than going straight upstairs to his cabin or to his study on the holodeck. (Yes, I know the Doylist answer is because it was the more dramatically satisfying blocking/staging choice, but on this blog, we like to dig for Watsonian explanations, too!)

My personal guess is still that there's some communal washroom down there, because those have to be somewhere on the ship, and that space would actually make sense, being in such close proximity to the bridge and mess hall.

But, since we never saw any of it on screen (and won't ever see La Sirena on screen again), I guess the space under the bridge will always remain a canonical mystery -- and thus available for any interpretation your writing /mapping/ headcanon might require ;)

#star trek picard #star trek la sirena #la sirena #space under the bridge #lower deck #stairs #access points #dave blass #set plans #size calculations #why is maths? #(seriously the amount of counting and converting pixels i did for this was slightly ridiculous #before i realized i could simply overlay the exterior orthogonal view with the set plan and use the measurements from that 😅) #@regionalpancake #and i guess i should also tag: #giraffes

[otomiyaa]

Profile Tag Game 💕

Hello - Lol hi I'm Ginny and this is a fun something I was about to do on my previous blog, and I remembered it! So I decided to still do it here. It's a random self introduction based on genshin impact character profiles! Maybe even a better fit for me to do it on this new account.

Chat: Tickling - I may have said this before, but I am a very bad tickler. In fact, I can barely remember tickling anyone properly so far in my life. I've done some quick pokes and scribbles, but I just can't go much further than that. Everything I wrote in my fics and hcs is just pure creativity and imagination. Not experience.

When It Rains - I get all cozy when I'm indoors and it's raining, like right now! But when I have to go out, it can make me frown and whine a lot.

When It Snows - I hope I don't fall down... I've got quite a number of experiences already, of slipping and falling in the snow.

Good Night - It's almost 1 AM. I should probably go to sleep. Ah, I'm too wide awake at night these days. And too tired during mornings hahaha.

About Me: Language - I speak Dutch, English, and Japanese and in all languages I sometimes struggle with formality levels at work. Especially when Japanese people call me by my first name without 'san', I am like..!!!! It's always a challenge to find the perfect balance of not being too impolite, and not being too formal and distant. I get the feeling I worry more about language and formality aspects than others.

Something to Share: Subscriptions - I've actually got way too many subscriptions running - Cinema, Spotify, Netflix, HBO Max, Amazon Prime, Disney+, Nintendo Switch Online, and Just Dance+. I kinda pay too much for things I don't always need, but I do need them a little and can't get myself to cancel any, even when they shamelessly increase their prices. Does it make me a money disaster? Hm.

My Hobbies: Journaling - My friends and I all have bullet journals and working on those while chatting and listening to some music is one of the most calming and satisfying things in life for me.

My Troubles - Needing a new laptop so I can play games like The Sims and Honkai Star Rail, but my current laptop isn't so old yet. Also, the Taylor Swift store doesn't ship to the Netherlands, I cry.

Favorite Food - Sushi, bibimbab, spaghetti with meatballs.

Least Favorite Food - Cheese.

About @ticklygiggles - On June 16, 2016, Mia sent me a message on Tumblr, starting a conversation. I messaged her back, and from that moment on we just... talked daily, grew closer and closer, watched anime together, wrote fics together, called and sent voice messages, and last month for the first time we FINALLY were able to play genshin together (Mia made a new acc because we weren't on the same server, huhu dedication girl). We did the Heart Island thing in Mia's world.

About @ragewerthers - We talked about it recently but our friendship started so smoothly and sudden. I was reminded it was because of Ragewerthers getting randomly shadowbanned on Tumblr, as well as our mutual interest in the soccer anime Days, Final Fantasy XV and Minecraft.

Tagging some fellow genshin fans @ticklygiggles @wertzunge @lovelynim @shy-lee-chu @eliankrios @xsezzie @kusuguricafe @fuckparty and ofc anyone else who would like to do it:) Feel free to add more / use other lines or do literal voice-overs! I'll stick to just text hehe.

#tag game #genshin impact #personal #profile tag game #tickling #tickle community

[pap03]

This is a nighttime (3AM) ramble so excuse the bad from that

But Noelle’s post here confuses me

Because she didn't write out a Valentine's Day card, she (likely just) repurposed a Family Christmas card to give out

Y'know, like the ones you produce hundreds of to send out to your never-will-meet relatives every Christmas

Something that's been pointed out to me as uncharacteristically lazy of her

You'd think that she'd want to hand out these gifts of appreciation to her classmates, like say Kris who is probably the lens which we're reading the Deltarune's characters cards through

Yet instead she just takes an unmailed Christmas Card and hands it out

While fitting of her whole Christmas shtick, she just doesn't seem the type to not at least write "Happy Valentine's Day" over "Happy Holidays!"

Which got me thinking why?

Why would she disregard this particular holiday?

My knee-jerk reaction is Susie, she doesn't give a shit about her other classmates receiving something small like a nice card because that means diverting her efforts from Susie

And while that lines up with her in-game motivations alright... it still feels awfully mean or uncaring of her

It's not like she completely disregards Kris during The Newest Girl Girl (just mostly given the whole "I wish they'd let us switch spots so I can be the one bullied" thing) so even then it's hard for me to fathom why she wouldn't write out a letter

So my next, and current opinion is that Noelle may have some issues with this time of year, Dess's name being a whole month, Christmas being over, the cold (although that one could be a comfort, she has yet to clarify)

All of which contributing to make it hard to apply herself in general, let alone to cards that people aren't gonna care the most about for a holiday she currently doesn't care all that much for, minus maybe the excuse to approach Susie, but we all know she's been keeping her eyes on that Dragon Tail prize regardless of upcoming Holidays

Now the Meta Reason why Noelle doesn't really write an entry is because none of the Lightner Main Characters write one, Susie hijacks like a sentence of one of Ralsei’s, and Kris doesn't write any, so if Noelle wrote one it'd be too obvious shipping food for one ship and hell'd break loose/giving us an idea on how Noelle actually feels about another character might be a spoiler, just like if any of the other Main Characters wrote to another it may be a spoiler

Regardless I'm open to thoughts, lemme hear what yall have to say

#deltarune #noelle holiday #noelle #noelle deltarune #kris deltarune #susie deltarune #honestly this probably doesn’t even matter #but Im damn curious so #sue me

[recentadultburnout]

Info for writer in Thai series fandom: Pet name & tone indicator sound

Some words to call your lover

Sweet and polite

คุณ-khun or เธอ-tur with ฉัน-chan, เรา-rao or ผม-phom(offically this one is for men, but it did get used by women) are words that can be used with people who are not your lovers but are considered to be quite sweet to call your lover that. I already mentioned it in Chapter 4. Chan and tur are very popular choices for song lyrics.

ที่รัก-thirak straight up call a person "someone you love". Rak is love, so if we want it literally, it would be beloved or something along those lines. I never saw anyone actually use it seriously before. Just a parody of something, or like I do, to tease a friend. Or, if we count, I think I've heard a mom call her child "mom's thirak" before. We could add สุด-sud in the front, sudthirak, make it mean "someone you love most."

แฟน-faen Boyfriend/girlfriend but non-binary. If used as a pronoun, then it usually comes with those Thai sounds khrap/ka at the end. You probably need to draw the word out for good measure too. Its sound is the same as how the word fan in "fan club" is pronounced in Thai, so there are a lot of fan club or faen khrap puns/jokes used with actor shipping situations.

คนดี-kondee Khon is a unit of human in Thai, and dee is good. เด็กดี-dekdee Dek is a child, and dee is the same as dee in Khondee. I feel like both Khondee and Dekdee have a bit of a patronizing feeling. But not always in a bad way, though. Is that a thing? Like, if you used those words with someone sincere, you probably felt the urge to take care of them at least a little bit. You probably feel like they are a precious, cute little thing. Something like that The fact that Im 100% sure parents used dekdee with their children might factor into it. As for Kondee, I'm about 90% sure.

Dek means kid, but we use it quite loosely, so twenty-somethings get called Dek all the time, and if it were by an elderly person, then the Dek in question might as well be a mother of two.

พ่อ แม่-por and mae As in father and mother. Usually, it starts when a couple becomes parents. A fur baby will do too for some.

Insulting words as a pet name

เด๋อ-der clumsy, foolish, silly, awkward, stupid, dull, dump_ Those things mix together, but like, in a soft version. Usually used with something add to the front, such as ไอ้-Ai, เด็ก-dek, or some Thai's sound for tone indicator(?) to the back, or both.

อ้วน-uuan fat, chubby—อ้วน can actually be a parent-given nickname too. I know some women around my mom's age range whose nickname is that. Personally, if it says it in a particular way, I find it really cute.

เหนียง-niang double chin

เถิก-terk go bald,the description of a hair line that starts to recede.

ลุง-lung Uncle (the one that is older than the father) aka old man. Usually used by a noticeable younger person. Not that they actually date someone older than their dad, or do they?👀

เด็กโง่-dekngo Stupid child, but like, an endearingly stupid, childish person.

ดื้อ-due _Not obeying, refuse to comply_ often used to describe a child. I saw ดื้อ  get translated to stubbon a lot, but personally, I find that not quite fitting (not that I have other words in mind). It might just be a me thing, though.

Probably a full-on PDA couple, act cute to each other 24/7

เล็ก-lek Small,tiny

ใหญ่-yai Big,giant

This two are a pair. Sometime it will have something added to it, ตัว-tua which means self/person/body, for exemple.

Animal + small or pi/nong/por(dad)/mae(mom) + animal Something like, cat, bear, pig, dog

Ex:Pi Muu(pig)/Nong Miao(cute alternative way to call cat)/Miao lek(small)/Por Mee(bear)

บี๋-bie Short from baby

Repeating a syllable of a nick name two times for a lovey-dovey pet name is also a thing.

ไอ้ต้าว-ai tao Tao is a meaningless sound that was derived from a word that was a prefix "เจ้า-Jao." It is used to express that the speaker thinks the person being mentioned is cute/childlike. They most likely appear with a strangely sweet voice. Sometimes used for friendly mocking of someone for being childlike.

Eng sub-cute dimples = Ai tao dimples

หนู-nhu Nhu is something that is used with children, but it also can be for a lover. Can be innocent or quite sinful depending on the context. (This one is already mentioned in Chapter 4 too)

เค้า Kao and ตัวเอง Tua-eng are a pair. Kao is for calling yourself, and Tuaeng is for calling your lover. What is of interest is that Kao typically refers to the third person, and Tuaeng refers to "oneself." It kind of gets perceived as something silly that people in love do. There are some words that are born from distorted "tuaeng" that you can use for a lover too, such as using only the first word "tua", shortening the "tua" sound to make it sound like 'ta-eng, or combining the two sounds to make it sound like "teng". The "Kao" might be replaced by other words such as Rao, and it might help lower the silliness, or not? Lately, I have seen some traders (usually women small business owners) call their customers Tuaeng to make them feel closer to them. Not Kao, tho. I have yet to see any shopkeeper use Kao for "I.".

Kind of a little roleplay, but not really?

ป๋า-pa Dad as in father or 💰Daddy💰 as in sugar daddy.

An overly respectful way to call someone or use a title that the receiver doesn't actually own is also something I see and think is pretty cute.

Legal prefix

เด็กหญิง-dek ying 

abbreviation - ด.ญ.

For those who were assigned female at birth under the age of 15

Translate to - none

เด็กชาย-dek chai

abbreviation - ด.ช.

For those who were assigned male at birth under the age of 15

Translate to - none

นาย-nai

abbreviation - none

For those who were assigned male at birth, from age 15 onward

Translate to - Mr.

นาง-nang

abbreviation - none

For those who were assigned female at birth and marriage (optional since 2008),

Translate to - Mrs.

นางสาว-nang sao

abbreviation - น.ส.

For those who were assigned female at birth, from age 15 onward

Translate to - Ms.

Some words/phrase that relevent to love life.

เพื่อนคู่คิด มิตรคู่ใจ-phuea khukhit mit khuchai This is a phrase that describes a marriage partner as a friend ( phuea = friend) who will help you think ( khit), a trusting ally (mit ), and your best friend who you can rely on. I find it to be very romantic.

คู่ชีวิต-khu chivit life partner

คนรู้ใจ-khon ru jai person who knows your heart

ศีลเสมอ-syn samoe (like the name of a character from Cutie Pie)

ศีล Syn = precept

เสมอ samoe = same,equal

"Syn samoe" is a figure of speech that is probably roughly equivalent to "birds of a feather flock together." It is a concept that in order for one to be able to associate with others with ease of mind, one needs to hold the same moral code and values. If a person only holds on to one of the precepts, not killing, they wouldn't be suited to be with someone who also does not steal, not only as a lover but also as a close friend or someone close in general. And also the reversal, which is that if you can be close with someone, then you must be on the same level as that person, good or bad.

คนคุย - khon kui Person (you) talking to If A is Khon Kui of B, then they are getting to know each other with romantic intentions, but nothing is serious yet.

กิ่งทองใบหยก - king thong bai yok - jade leaf gold branch A very suitable match, used for those who are about to get married.

ผีเน่าโลงผุ - phi nao long phu - rotten ghost, decayed coffin When a couple is a very suitable match, but it's because they both are bad

ทองแผ่นเดียวกัน - thong phaen diao kan - the same gold sheet To become one piece of gold is to be connected by marriage. Ex: These two families are going to become the same piece of gold soon = someone from each of their families is going to marry the other.

ข้าวใหม่ปลามัน - fresh rice, creamy(?) fish A word to call a newlywed couple. Anything new is good, so in a period of newlywed bliss, everything will be good in your eyes.

ถ่านไฟเก่า-old coal Old flame, ex-lover who still might get back together

โซ่ทอง-gold chain A child is parents' gold chain that will link parents' hearts together forever. Basiclly, it is a concept that by having a child, the couple will be more committed to each other. Kind of scary if you ask me.

จีบ-jeeb _woo, flirt, spark, spoon, court, bind around_ I saw this translate to flirting most of the time, but while flirting is not serious, จีบ can be.

หยอด-yort is to put or pour it little by little in a narrow place; in some contexts, it means to drop in sweet words when you talk to someone, aka flirt.

อ้อน-oon is to plead, to implore, to cajole, to wheedle, to whimper. 

กัดก้อนเกลือ-kat kon kluea-to bite on a cube of salt Is to be poor. usually mean when your financial situation is likely to be better than it is if not for your choice of partner.

ป๋า pa - เสี่ย sia - เด็ก dek pa/ dek sia When these words are used together, pa or sia is an (usually) older, wealthy (this one is a must) man, and dek, which translate directly to child or young, is a (usually) younger person who got financial benefit from being in this relationship. Pa or Sia is a sugar daddy, and Dek is a sugar baby, basically. 

คบ-kob Is mostly used to mean dating, but it can also mean "associate" or "friend with", and it has been used for a variety of ambiguous speaking scene in drama and novels.

ชง-chong-brew It's kind of like creating an opportunity for someone else to say a pick-up line. Say things in order to push your friend toward the one you think your friend will like (whether the assumption is correct or not). Say a pick-up line or flirt with someone for the other person. GMM actors do it to other shipping pairs all the time. I find it quite funny, lol.

เพื่อน=friend But it can also mean accompany if you say it in some way. You could say that you want someone to go somewhere with you as เพื่อน and that would mean that you want them to accompany you, not that they are your friend exclusively. You can say it to anyone. friend, family member, lover, co-worker, etc.

Here Ayan say that he thanks Akk for นอนเป็นแฟน instead of นอนเป็นเพื่อน. 

นอน=sleep 

เป็น=as ,are, be, become, have, constitute, be able to 

แฟน=lover 

เพื่อน=friend

นอนเป็นเพื่อน=to go to bed with someone and keep them company

เพื่อน can also mean co-worker, school mate, 

slice-of-thai.com, thai-tones.com, [Learn Thai] Five Tones in Thai (Pronunciation Practice) <--Some of the links for the Thai 5-tone explanation.

I think it would help in the next part (and with the Thai language in general) if you could remember what tone is what.

The mid one, number 1, had no mark, and the other is as you can see in that orange band.

อา, อ่า, อ้า, อ๊า, and อ๋า is probably going to be the same when spelled in English (unless we make something up, like, อา=ah, อ่า=aah) but in Thai, you can see that the mark on top of them is different.

There are also a bunch of things that are relevant, like the way each type of Thai alphabet has its own base(?) tone in itself, making tone marking affect them differently. Ex: low consonant + dead syllable + short sound = rising tone (5) Even though it is written with no mark tone and so looks like it should probably be a mid tone (1), but we are not here for an actual Thai lesson, so you just need to remember that different tone is a thing and different tone = different mening.

Sounds that we use to indicate the tone of the sentence

****This topic isn't really an official and well-organized thing, plus my knowledge and ability to explain are quite limited, so maybe don't see it as a fact but something subjective?

If I put a check mark in the example column, it means it makes sense to put the sound in that row in the blank. Well, at least to me, it makes sense.

A sentence that has some polite words in it doesn't mean that it is in fact polite or that the speaker is being polite and proper. So while Khrap and Ka are polite, people still can and have used them to end a sentence that is so impolite you will get customers yelling for your manager to fire you for saying it.

Some of those sounds can also be paired with other too. For example, Na(4) and Si(2) can be paired with Ka(4) and Khrap(4), as well as a few others, and include each other.

Index

#thai culture #thai language #Youtube

[the-east-art]

Rem Saverem, Mom Jeans, and the Ticket to the Future

aka gushing about Rem, clothing, and settings.

I was reading through some of @chuthulhu-watches analysis on Rem and it got me thinking about one of my own favorite Rem scenes and quotes and how it feels very different from the manga to the anime adaptations (granted I'm still four episodes from being done with '98 so there's a slim chance they'll include it? But I doubt it.

One of Rem's most famous lines and philosophies that she gives to her boys, specifically one we see Vash mention a few times in his journey is the concept of the ticket to the future. This is used as a way to accept previous events and progress forward despite mistakes or pain. I believe Vash uses this philosophy to help others understand how he can still have faith in people who have done bad things - as he sees it the tracks that someone has walked are always behind them, and do not dictate the future.

In both anime adaptations they show Rem telling the twins this analogy, in '98 I believe just as they're hanging out, and in Stampede she mentions it to them before she lets them leave in the escape pod (again if my memory is correct). However, I feel both of these negate the very touching and to me impactful way that the manga tells this story.

One thing that is very relevant in the manga but is not present in either adaptations is the slow realization of the world, and the comfort of the Ship Five. The world of Nomansland is strange to the viewer - just left of comfortable. We understand it as a facsimile of the wild west, but people wear clothes that don't quite fit any time period, and the technology is all over the place. When we realize that this is actually an alien planet, it makes sense to the viewer as their strange feelings are proven to have been valid. People wear strange layers and a million belts.

(this is all relevant I prommy)

And then in one of the first few chapters we see Vash and Rem together for the first time.

This is the first person I can recall seeing wearing something so simple. A t-shirt and jeans. And in this scene Vash is wearing a similar simple outfit. It instantly makes Rem stand out as if apart from the world, simplier and to the audience familiar. I could never imagine red coated Vash walking down the street, but something about this woman feels like she is real in a way. And here we see her mention her ticket to the future. (I could gush about this scene but I'll push on).

Anyways, I think that in Trigun clothing and setting and how the viewer relates to them is very important. We only see Vash in casual clothing when he is somewhere that he feels comfortable, when he is somewhere he considers home. One instance is when he is masquerading as Eriks, and one is when he is at Ship Five - the only two places he really seems to consider as his home at any points during the manga.

I really dislike the anime's decision to make the members of Ship Five have strange, futurist clothing. This makes the occupants of Ship Five feel strange and foreign to the viewer, separate from not only the world but from ourselves. I felt like Vash's time spend in this area is notable in the story and stands out because he is dressed so normally around others who are also dressed so casual. It tells you just how comfortable he is here, and again as a viewer it makes these people and Vash in this instance relatable and in many ways real. He stops being Vash the Stampede and we are able to see him as a person.

Okay okay - as promised let me talk about the Ticket to the Future. (several of these photos are taken from @lonelysnowymemes' edit of this scene - please go check it out if you haven't watched it!)

This scene is a shock to the system. We don't know how long ago humans left earth, or how old Rem was when she left, and for the most part as the reader you have become accustomed to the setting. So at least when I was reading this, to suddenly see Rem on a train felt so... mundane. She isn't wearing special space clothes, she isn't even in her t-shirt and jeans from her time on the ship. She is wearing what perhaps I might wear if I was going somewhere special. This scene is so important because we know so little about Rem, and when we do hear about her especially in the anime adaptations she seems to be almost like a Virgin Mary figure, somewhere high up next to god, untouchable. And this mundane scene shakes that picture of her.

It is a slow and quiet scene in a hectic manga. And then, the scene comes to an end.

Rem wakes up in a room, alone. I always assumed this was on earth, before she became a higher ranking member of the SEEDS project. And you realize that Rem had this dream, this revelation, in the midst of a deep depression. While this analogy is applied often to the inherent goodness that people can accomplish in the future, here the ticket is a way to push forward. I get the sense that this was the start of a long journey. A little dream did not magically fix her world, or her pain. She still wakes up in a messy room, in the dark, and alone. But you can almost still feel the lingering lightness that she felt in the dream. Again I want to push the setting of this scene. A messy bedroom that could feel familiar to the viewer - as someone with bad priorities and depression, this is a familiar sight to me.

And finally, just to top it off. Why does this line convince Vash that people, despite their actions yesterday, can go on to be good tomorrow?

Because that is what Rem tells him. Vash struggles after hurting Rem, and this discussion of both the depression he feels from seeing Tessla and the guilt of hurting Rem as a darkness that he finds himself swallowed by, she uses the same analogy that pushed her out of her own depression to tell him to continue forward. Vash tells himself this, takes to heart this analogy of the ticket, not to ignore the bad things that he has done but to rather help himself to continue onwards.

Sorry if this is super scatterbrained I've just been thinking about these things a lot the past week or so.

anyways have you ever noticed that Rems' name is Rem Save Rem

#trigun #trigun maximum #trigun analysis #essay #the east speaks #rem #rem saverem

[rustyvanburace]

nanananan nanashi 4 ask game🥹

favorite thing about them: NANASHI HAS STYLE, and I will die on that hill. People bitch and moan about Nanashi's "ugly" design, but he is PUNK and that fits really well with IVA's themes. I'd rather have a protagonist with a totally unique appearance than yet another bland kid. Maybe that is antithesis to the roots of SMT (they've always favored bland "nobody" characters), but I am nonetheless sticking to my stance. I love that he is dressed for the part as a Hunter, but still embraces his own sense of identity and style -- which frankly is important and natural for teens. I feel the same way about Asahi's own style. I love that Nanashi's design incorporates aspects of the two Akiras from IV. HE. HAS. GOOD. DESIGN.

least favorite thing about them: Once again this is more of an issue I have with IVA's writing and it is not solely about Nanashi, but I do wish that IVA did explore Akira's motivations more (especially with rescuing his sister, which is just absent in IVA) and how his actions and choices would've later impacted his later reincarnated self. There's a lot of stuff that Akira did in the background of IV that only barely gets examined IVA. Akira's "betrayal" toward the Hunters and Nanashi falling into that same fate makes for an interesting foil, but is just another foil that gets resolved way too quickly for my liking. Nanashi saves the day by repelling the Tokugawa Mandela and is immediately forgiven and praised by all with almost hardly any skepticism. Again it's an issue I have with IVA at large, but it still leaves me wanting more out of the characters and their development.

favorite line: Can I even say I have a favorite line from a silent protagonist, lol? I can say that I do like how "extreme" Nanashi is with his answers, either being very openly kind to downright crass and cold. It's much more extreme than some of Flynn's answers in IV. Arguably it makes IVA's alignment choices too obvious, but I like that it gives Nanashi a polarizing personality and it fits with his design too. Plus some of his anarchy answers are downright hilarious.

Additionally, I'm also amazed at Nanashi's "Dagda!" voice clip in the massacre route. For most of the game, he calls for Dagda in such a high-pitched voice. But as soon as you're locked in massacre, his voice suddenly turns really gruff and deep. Lmao??

brOTP: HE IS BROS WITH EVERYONE. But especially with Asahi, Hallelujah, and Navarre! I love his caring sibling relationship with Asahi, I love him being best of buds with Hallelujah, and I love that Navarre is basically like the cool fun uncle to him.

I posted that stupid edit of Morcedai and Rigby earlier, but actually Nanashi and Hallelujah are WAY more like Morcedai and Rigby. That's them for realll.

OTP: Nanashi x Hallelujah NATION LET'S GO. I will absolutely ship them both as bros and as a pair! They have the best ever chemistry.

nOTP: Yeah so, I really do not like Asahi x Nanashi and I hate seeing Nanashi get shipped with adults. Stop it. Enough said.

random headcanon: I like to imagine that, even before the events of IVA, Nanashi has always had dreams of his past life -- just not as frequently or as "unusual" as they later would be, stuff that he'd just brush off and keep to himself. I also like to think that, partly cause of that, he feels a closeness or yearning towards the Sky Tower and Firmanent but cannot put into words as to why.

unpopular opinion: Nanashi's concept design (the one where he's older, has glasses, and the giant robot arm) sucks and I'm tired of people saying it is "superior" than Nanashi's final design. Maybe the older design would have worked better for an earlier story concept, but for the way IVA is now, it fucking sucks. You can't just switch Nanashi's design with that and expect it to seamlessly work with the game's narrative. People complain about Nanashi being a "discount Demi-fiend", but actually Nanashi's design is much more subtle and it HAS to be in order to work with the narrative. A giant robot arm is the very opposite of subtle.

God I'm just, so pissed at people saying Nanashi's design is "bad". I'm pissed I'm pissed!!

song I associate with them: I'm just gonna cross these out with all asks going forward, I am not good at picking songs lmao.

favorite picture of them: Once again, it's Nanashi's precious smile~!

Thank you for the ask!!

#shin megami tensei iv apocalypse #smt4a #nanashi #rusty answers

[kyouka-supremacy]

Ask game can you do kyouka

Yay Kyouka!!!

Favorite thing about them: HER EXISTING. The fact that she's one (1) fleshed out female character and for one I will love her for that. I also generally really like the trope of little girls facing unimaginable horrors and defeating them, it gives me hope. The fact that she was able to get out of an abusive environment by her own forces is very inspiring, too. More Kyouka love words here.

Least favorite thing about them: I feel I'm cheating at this with always mentioning things that are really not about the character but rather about the way they fit in the story but... I'm very disappointed when the author flat out forgets about her. 55 Minutes and the whole airport arc. I've said it before but I really wish she would have intervened during the Atsushi / Akutagawa airport fight because what were she and Yosano and Lucy doing the entire time. In general, I wish we'd see her more outside of her relationship with Atsushi which I LOVE but that is starting to feel quite limiting of her right now.

Favorite line:

Eheh. It's been this blog title since day one. It's just that crepes is one of my favourite desserts too but most of all I really appreciate the feeling of carrying on living even if it's just for the small nice things in life. I may be worthless, and with no right to breathe; but crepes still make life worth living. I appreciate the sentiment. Ss/kk should learn from her it'd spare them a lot of trouble lol

brOTP: I LOVE LOVE LOVE HER RELATIONSHIP WITH ATSUSHI. It's really one of my favourite things. I think Kyouka is about the only person Atsushi truly cares about beyond his own selfishness and it's really heartwarming. They make each other's lives better every day and comfort each other that they're good people capable of doing good. I also think Kyouka really helps Atsushi in the way she's so blunt and straightforward, she helps him overcome his insecurities and second-guessing everything; she's a reassuring presence for him because he knows she wouldn't lie to him. And Atsushi allows her to be a child, and it's so sweet!!! They need each other in a lot of ways and they're so perfect for each other. Platonic soulmates fr. I also really like her relationship with Kenji, that too is so wholesome, I'm happy she has someone her same age she can do 14 y/os things with!!! Oh and I LOVE her relationship with Lucy, they're so much fun in their low-key animosity but I like to think they truly care about each other and that Lucy fully took Kyouka on as her annoying little sister she wouldn't hesitate to die for. AND the potential of Kyouka and Yosano, AND Fukuzawa. AND Akutagawa and Kouyou (more as like, relationships to explore rather than think they'd actually get along). I think about Kyouka's relationships with other characters a lot lol.

OTP: You know I'm fully convinced I would have been a full flagged Kyouka/Kenji supporter if only they were a little older, but the way I can really only think of them as children kinda makes it hard for me to say I ship them just because personally I don't really like to imagine them in a romantic picture in general (个_个) It's a shame because again I know what I like and this kind of sun/moon coded het ship is something I would have been really into ;;

nOTP: Likely Kyouka and Kenji for the reasons mentioned above :// It's just something I noticed I'm not very into when it's brought up in ss/kk fics. That said, it's not like I have any strong feeling against it either.

Random headcanon: About that, I really like to think she and Kenji are going to be partners when they're older.

Unpopular opinion: Not sure this goes here but right now I can't think of anything else– I do think that in the early chapters of the manga there was some level of writing Kyouka like she was Atsushi's love interest. Overall I think the manga verges way less in the “siblings” direction than the “eventually couple to-be living together” direction than the fandom makes it to be (I don't think they were ever directly associated to siblings in the manga, like, ever? I don't remember Atsushi ever saying he sees Kyouka as a little sister or something in those lines). Which I personally do not like, but in my reading interpretation that's the direction the manga was going for. That's why the chapter 15 opening is extremely distasteful to me, it really feels like pushing forward the stereotype of little dainty young house wife waking up early to prepare breackfast for her husband... And the way we know she's so young makes it downright disturbing. (But again, that's only as far as my understanding of the manga goes, feel free to disagree with me on this).

Song i associate with them: Shinkai Shoujo by Yuuyu-P!!!! It's just so her, both in the girly j-pop vibes and lyrics. It literally talks about a girl sinking in the darkness but managing to find the light in the end :')

Favorite picture of them:

Favourite panel from the manga:

Favourite illustration:

Favourite illustration in the anime art style:

Favourite Mayoi card:

Send me a character?

#This was a great idea because it feeds my primal instict to look at pretty images #kyōka izumi #bsd #mine #people asks me stuff #Thanks for asking <333