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#but my already sleep-deprived brain is not having it.
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Do I attempt to salvage the thought I had about Fermet printing Fermetes 2+ hours ago into a post at 10:23 PM or do I salvage the 1883 words of a .md file I apparently wrote before the two hours of helping someone assemble monitor stand + cable management session began into some droll post for tomorrow?
#Baccano! Light Novel Spoilers#personal#it's probably the latter#I finally sat back down after the two hours and attempted to write said pithy post#but my already sleep-deprived brain is not having it.#*droll not pithy#*blatantly terribly written not droll#It's not even a particularly interesting or deep thought but the primordial instinct within me telling me my B! knowledge is hopelessly#wrong and that I should factcheck some of this is holding it back#(but seriously though. Fermet hive mind supervising SAMPLE branches across Europe and NA ...#(...these not quite carbon copy Fermets but /very/alike Fermets just. supervising the multi-continent perpetuation of#~child torture cult~#(hm. yes. how will these SAMPLE seeds sprout in America. I know. I shall water them personally but allow them to blossom idiosyncracies)#(I'm not saying that's what Fermet did. I'm just asking you to imagine hive!Fermet in Fermet-progeny homunculi cultivating their culty crops#simultaneously across two continents minimum - three actually (Asia via Japan) - for however many years (???decs???) it's been since#Fermet cottoned on to whatever constituted proto hivemind alchemy#Wow it's easier to write and post things to Tumblr in the sweet sweet informal casual atmosphere of tags#and not the formal 'wuh woh your content may be treated seriously' posts themselves.This doesn't count as a post...#(Really definitely not saying that. Nothing I say in these tags counts! Take this flourish on top of the cartoon evil and be put out.)#Looks like those 1883 words also referenced Huey hive mind
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daily-whistlepaw · 2 months
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daily whistlepaw until ah becomes PoV day 1167
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I think I finally understand how people feel when around a crush, can't say I enjoy it
#warrior cats#whistlepaw#windclan#medicine cat apprentice#this isn't my first crush lol but this one has had me feel the strongest of feelings (and might be my first genuine crush lol)#the fact I have been building up A Lot of stress for the entire week probably didn't help.#and the fact my stomach hurt is also probably at least partially to explain by the fact I barely ate last night#but MAN seeing my (latest) crush in such a pretty dress and then go on stage and play (a goddess!!!!!!! she's a goddess)#(I already bought tickets to go see the full thing; I will die but I will die happy (I hope))#but yeah I struggled for a good 2 hours to fall asleep and also had stomach weirdness happening the next morning#man it was not fun#(and then she came to sit next to me during class and I had to play it cool (I was too deranged on sleep deprivation to really care about#being my typical brand of weird but I do sometimes feel like an idiot around her and feel guilty because then I fear that she finds me#annoying and will hate me and I will fail this again (losing a friendship over a crush once was not that fun lol) and Traumas don't help#either at all so uh I'm just trying to spend time with her I just always feel a bit worried that I'm annoying her and it's consuming my bra#I do also still feel a little guilty about having this crush; internalized homophobia/issues around sexuality are hard to shake off#and while it's very normal and stuff I never dare to go the entire way when my brain conjures fantasies that are a little too risqué#I just feel guilty man I know I shouldn't but still it fucking sucks in my brain#and god talking about this in therapy would be a mess#I might have to eventually but I don't wanna#anyways; wild vent in the tags aside; yay a whis!
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kosmiccarma · 9 months
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wolfwood who is the protector eldest child adult
wolfwood who uses leashes for all the younger kids that he has to protect watch over when they get monitored for outside playtime
wolfwood who is the one to call roll and do a headcount and keep his own head on a swivel to keep all of his babies ducklings in a row
wolfwood who is the one to break up fights before they get too physical and endures the wrath of sharp kiddie teeth and jagged nails and spitted insults and small bodies overfilled with gumption and heartbreak
wolfwood who is the one to fetch ms. melanie for boo-boo plasties and rub away the hurt and maybe if the waterworks are used impressively enough he’ll give a quick kiss to make the pain fade away in an instant the kids swear it’s magic
wolfwood who is the boy that cares too much he swears it’s never enough
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dandyshucks-moving · 6 months
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me on my own ding dang self ship blog: no that's too cheesy and embarrassing, i can't say that („ಡωಡ„)
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britneyshakespeare · 6 months
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im just gonna tmi-medication share in the tags real quick
#tales from diana#i want to preface this with i've been prescribed adderall as-needed for adhd for a fullllll decade now#don't come at me with anti-adderall or anti-adhd-medication bullshit im not here for it!!#but my health problems have been so bad and ive been getting the worst sleep of my life lately no matter WHAT i do#i can do everything right#and btw i do not take adderall every day. which is implied by as-needed but i want to stress again I DONT NEED IT EVERY DAY#only when i do like. work. which ive been doing less and less bc of health problems!#but even though i havent been able to physically work so much i still have been taking half-doses a couple times a week just to like. read.#just to have a brain to do ANYTHING when everything is so awful and my brain is so foggy#ive always *sometimes* cut my doses in half if im not doing so much. just to save it y'know.#and ive always also *occasionally* gotten worse or even a really bad night's sleep after taking adderall#most commonly i'll wake up absurdly early the next morning and not be able to fall back asleep#rationing sleep is always something ive been in the habit of doing anyway as a person w adhd.#sleeping 4-6 hours during the week and 10-12 hours on weekends. just to make up for the deprivation y'know.#but even lately cutting my regular dose in half. it's still too much.#my current dose btw is already half of what it was in high school! i decreased my dose already years ago#but yesterday i finally got the nerve to take. a damn quarter of my own pill#and i took the smaller quarter of the half i cut in half.#i was def taking less than 5mg of my damn medication#and i actually didnt sleep like complete shit! and i was also worried#it might not be so effective.#but it actually worked quite well. i had enough focus to read for several hours#i had energy throughout the day too#i sometimes try to do caffeine on days i cant/dont wanna take adderall but caffeine just does not do the addy things so effectively. iykyk.#i cant believe i have to be so skimpy w my own life-sustaining mental health medications just bc my physical health is so bad#but whatever. whatever!#im gonna take another quarter-dose today and finish pericles prince of tyre. have a great day everyone
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pepprs · 2 years
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ok update i just finished making my card and i said / drew (lol) basically everything i wanted to say in it (except for the things i definitely can’t say now that this is happening lol). so i think maybe i might be ok with not saying what i want to say directly to her. but then when i say that im not ok with it at all LOLLLL so i think i need to sleep on it and maybe see what tomorrow brings
#purrs#sobbed hysterically writing the message and that was like 4 hrs ago (yeah.) and im still like dizzy and puffy eyed from it. i am not having#a good time lol. and it’s only going to get more intense this whole week and i don’t know if i can handle it. ive been overstimulated /#sleep deprived for like 2 straight days bc yesterday i was doing everything in my power to avoid thinking abt it and today i was doing#everything in mt power TO think abt it including being subjected to things that were hard and ofc the walk being a flop kinda lol. but omg.#mutuals i know it’s so deeply cringe but i have been vagueposting abt my work life since before i even got the fucking job. i know i look#mentally ill about it and i definitely am but my colleagues past and present are my best friends and my number 1 reason to be alive#actually. so this is just. idk. this feels very……. especially when this is someone who was never supposed to leave this suddenly. who i thou#thought i had years and years left with. and it’s just over like that and we have to say goodbye and i know it’s not even that big of a move#but it’s actually killing me. like physically. that this is happening rn. i don’t know what the fuck im going to do. and we aren’t even f#gonna be able to grieve openly at all but we are grieving and she doesn’t even.. like idk. maybe it just hasn’t occurred to her that we are.#but we literally are and its soooooooo bad. it’s so bad. i feel like im having a bad dream every day. i already felt like nothing was real#anymore and this helped abt -50000% with that sensation. like wtf is going on rn. she’s LEAVING. ON FRIDAY. FOREVER. FUCK!#but uh yeah the point is i do want to talk to her and if it was anyone else i would. but when it comes to emotional stuff and being honest#w each other abt how one makes the other feel… we are incompatible im afraid. she doesn’t want to talk abt it and all i want to do is talk b#but im shy and weak so i cave and just do everything in my power to give her what she needs and then i feel shattered for the rest of the#day / week / whatever. it fucking sucks and im not like that w anyone else in my little irl world (except my p*rents ofc LMAO) but it’s like#onmgggggg. can we please just talk abt how it is so painful you are doing this and comfort each other in it somehow. LOL! like i am in so mu#much pain i can’t even speak and she didn’t even look at me when i flicked my eyes over to her during the silences. CRINGE! girl she doesn’t#care about you 😭😭😭😭 except she does. idk. it’s just sooooo. idk. my brain is not right it hasn’t been since i got the news. i think im dying#delete later#OMG ALSO it is now the wee hours of july 26 which means that 3 yrs ago right abt now i did something so very stupid that made me have my#first very bad breakdown ever and it led to me realizing i needed counseling again. so maybe in the spirit of this anniversary i will do#this stupid thing (of asking to talk and then saying what i want to say even though i wrote it out) and then have a very bad breakdown and t#then go to counseling 🥳✌️
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sherlock-is-ace · 2 years
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orgasming-caterpillar · 9 months
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The urge to bite your arms and feel the blood trickle warm down your wrists to pool on the floor every time you get overstimulated
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ssahotchnerr · 11 days
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you see when you did a fic abt reader getting a lil clingy when she’s tired , can we pls have it w aaron instead. like they’re all on the jet and he just puts a hand on her knee or keeps on giving her forehead kisses every second, or even he gets so tired to the point he falls asleep w his head on her shoulder
sleep deprived
clingy aaron my beloved cw; bau!reader, fluff <3
After many years of practice, Aaron's rather proud of his resilience to remain awake and alert despite extreme fatigue.
Some cases called for either little or no sleep at all. Was it his favorite thing to do? No - it knocked his body completely off schedule, worsened with time spent on the West Coast. Had he been exhausted? Absolutely. But he could ignore the feeling well, working just as diligently as if he had gotten a full night's rest.
Frequent helpings of caffeine also assisted.
But when a case resolved and the urgency was dismissed - it was like a switch flipped in his brain. His mind and body knew before he could fully process it, and he felt it. Sleep deprived brain fog, a newly significant heaviness to his body, more irritable if certain buttons were pushed.
He couldn't wait to be home. He couldn't wait to be in the comfort of bed. He couldn't wait for you to be at his side, secure and close in sleep.
Each one of those thoughts correlated to each heavy step as he trudged up the jet's stairs, his eyes latching onto you immediately upon entry.
You were stationed at the kitchenette, head down as you prepared your favorite soothing, nighttime tea.
A wave of affection rippled through him; simply seeing you made him long for you desperately, although you were near and already his. The love he felt for you was unfathomable already, but in a sleep deprived state, it was enhanced greatly. He wanted - no, had to be as close as possible, to be entirely consumed by you.
After storing his go-bag, he swiftly (and slightly clumsily) moved behind you, hands finding your waist easily.
"Hey," you greeted, steeping your tea. Your voice was soft, and he could hear the faint smile in your voice.
"Hey," Aaron echoed in a mumble, his hands sliding forward from your hips to your abdomen. "How are you."
You hummed gently, leaning back to lightly touch your head to his, closing the tiny gap that separated the two of you. "Better now that we're going home."
With your back to his chest, you felt his agreeable chuckle shake through him.
"You want a cup?"
"No, I'm okay." Truthfully, he was certain he would fall asleep before the rim of the mug touched his lips. His head turned, pressing a long kiss to your temple, speaking into it, "Thank you though."
His lips lingered while you finished prepping your tea, adding light honey and lemon. With you in his arms, matching your evenly distributed breaths, Aaron's hold wasn't only to hold you, but to keep him standing upright. The lights on the jet had already been dimmed, as everyone settled down for the red eye flight, so that wasn't helping his tiredness either. He was just as comfortable as if he were in his bed at home.
You felt him nodding off. His arms - unknown to him, as he thought otherwise - were loosening, his figure even swaying the smallest amount. You hurried, knowing he probably wouldn't claim his seat without you at his side. And when you made your way over, Aaron followed like a lost puppy, his fingers grasping onto the back of your shirt.
Your blanket was already at your seat; after setting your tea aside, you draped it over your lap, offering half to Aaron. You even managed to pry him out of his suit jacket and tie.
His hand started out in yours, before finding home on your thigh - enjoying the comfort of contact. His fingers were splayed across the width, keeping you as close as the seats could awkwardly offer. Part of him considered persuading Reid from his usual spot, allowing the two of you a turn to lie down.
But it was Spencer's favorite spot, the rest of the team would never let him live down visibly 'cuddling', and he was too tired to move, so the regular seats would have to do.
His thumb began brushing against the fabric of your pants, the lull bringing him closer to sleep. He placed a kiss on your shoulder, then your jaw, before nestling his head on your shoulder.
A faint blush trickled onto your face, feeling warm from both the tea and the open tenderness. "Aaron?"
A very drowsy, "Hm?" came from below your ear.
You simply leaned your head against his, a contentful sigh leaving you. Under the blanket, your hand rest atop his, giving his fingers a gentle squeeze.
Aaron's eyes remained closed, but a sleepy smile made its way onto his face. In the smallest of whispers, "I love you too."
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presumablydeadarm · 1 year
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my problems and disorders are getting to me again.
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oranberrie · 1 year
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If I’m still awake in one more hour I’m going to start breaking shit
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cosmosis · 11 months
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MOVED TO @seratopia
miguel o’hara x reader (fluff) - can’t sleep
you just can’t sleep without your husband next to you (i hope my spanish was okay)
Maybe it’s your cycle, maybe its just the fact that you’ve been literally working all day for the past 3 weeks, but you’re tired as shit. The bags under your eyes are almost purple, your entire body hunches over like a zombie when you walk, you barely have time to think nor speak to anyone else besides your husband. The entire building is lowkey worried you’ll snap one day. 
Even Miguel is worried. Much how you like to do to him, Miguel’s been constantly ushering you to rest a little, borderline bribing you with nice takeout or some kisses to get you to sleep. But, to no avail. your sleep schedule is genuinely fucked. 
You’re cranky, hungry, and sleep deprived. 
At the moment, Miguel doesn’t really know where you are. Considering your current state, he thinks you’re out on a mission, or at least somewhere in the office. 
He’s already tried walking through the entire office just looking for you. He checked the cafeteria, gym, hallway, etc. muttering, “Where th’fuck are they?” But, you were nowhere to be found.
So, Miguel tries something different. He pulls up his watch, scrolling down to a button that he really only should be using for emergencies, but to Miguel, this is an emergency on its’ own. 
He presses the button, and suddenly his entire face is broadcasted to every single watch in the building. Dramatically, the emergency siren turns on, and all the spider-people are on their feet. 
“If anyone sees my wife, please report back to me asap. Tell her to come see me, I can’t find her anywhere.“
The whole office can see Miguel rub a hand over his face, visibly both annoyed and tired. Everyone starts looking back and forth, tilting heads and making sure that you didn’t just happen to be around somewhere. Once the camera turns off, though, nearly the entire building starts chuckling. 
It’s crazy how much Miguel’s face utterly lights up when he sees his watch ringing without your contact photo. Literally in a split second, he presses the button, opening up a microphone icon. 
“Miguel?“
Ugh, he just loves the sound of your voice. 
“¿Si querida?“
He hears you groan, possibly the sound of bedsheets shuffling, and it pulls at his heart. You’ve been so miserable lately, he just wants to see you back to your happy self again. 
“Come home, now.“
Just the tone of your voice alone put a worried frown on Miguel’s face. (He never likes to admit how much of an impact your emotions have on him.) An ugly, anxious swarm starts to build at the back of his head, making him impossibly nervous. 
Luckily, Miguel knows what to do. 
“Of course, hun. I’ll be there in 10.“
And he turns the watch off, sighing to himself after. He’s a little bit nervous now, fearing as though he did something to upset you, or that you had something serious to talk about when he came home. 
Every step Miguel takes to your shared home brought him closer and closer on edge, worry and theory swirling through his mind. His brain ping-ponged through every single possible reason why you’d want him to come home, especially in such a cranky matter. Maybe you were just tired? Maybe it was because he accidentally gave you a raisin bagel instead of a everything bagel?
By the time Miguel was at the door, his heart was beating erratically in his chest, hands the slightest bit shaky. Stepping inside, Miguel instantly beelined for your shared bedroom, gently opening the door. 
He sees you shuffle around in the covers, his heart secretly swooning. You’re just so cute when you’re half asleep; needy and cuddlier than usual. Already at the bedroom door, Miguel practically rips his shirt off, kicking off his pants and making his way over to where you lay. He presses a soft kiss to your forehead, gingerly swiping strands of hair off your face. 
“What is it, hun?“ He coos.
You toss and turn, barely mustering a frown onto your face. Your eyes are half-lidded, tank top almost falling off your shoulder until Miguel readjusts it for you. 
“Can’t sleep without you.“ You mumble, slowly scooting yourself over and draping your arms towards him. Miguel practically swoons, cooing and leaning into your touch. How could he resist such an offer?
“Awh, baby.“ 
He tangles himself into bed with you, breathing the biggest sigh of relief. It wasn’t what he thought it was. You just wanted snuggles. Miguel takes it upon himself to spoil you extra, ghosting his touch over your back and kissing the darling skin of your temple.
Like the thousands of times he has before, Miguel tangles his legs into yours, kneading his fingers into the skin of your raised leg.  
Within a few minutes or so, Miguel feels you knock out like a light, tiny puffs of air escaping your mouth while you fist the sheets like a baby. He sighs, staring at you for a few moments while you sleep. Affectionately, he rubs his knuckles against your cheek, smooching your forehead. 
Miguel pulls a blanket over the both of you, knowing very well that by the time you’re awake, it’ll be completely on the floor. Readjusting his position, Miguel doses off to sleep, allowing himself to completely let go of all the stresses he holds. 
After all, he can’t sleep without you either. 
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© 𝒄𝒐𝒔𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒔.
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kalamity-jayne · 1 year
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I'm in post-production hell... again.
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WHY MEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…..!?
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planete777 · 5 months
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BAD INFLUENCE・⁠。♪ LN4 [+ OP81]
( lando norris x fem!reader ft. oscar piastri)
READ PART 2!
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IN WHICH. getting high was never on oscar's roster. getting high and enjoying it with y/n and lando wasn't either, but that just makes it much more... exciting. (based on this ask)
WARNINGS. 16+, suggestive content, drug use (as per), high hotness pt 875443, oscar cameo (woop woop 🥳), make outs, first time getting high, oscar being whipped for lando and y/n? wbk, a bit of mxm content between drivers, shotgunning coz it's my most favourite thing ever
NOTE. LANDOSCAR!! this may probably be my favourite fic and is my longest so im looking forward to you guys reading it!!! well overdue in my humblest opinion, but i delivered hehe. enjoy my luvs and a very happy new year in advance mwah mwah mwah 😚😚 i appreciate all of you readers, thank you for all your support 💓💓💓
SIDENOTE. my askbox is now closed for requests 🤍
‧₊˚✩彡 taglist @laciijane @ferrarrigirl @norrizzandpia @mimi-luvzyu (use askbox above if you'd like to be added!)
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frankly speaking, a 'you up?' text from oscar piastri, whose entire persona was an antithesis of what that type of message usually pertained to, isn't something lando was expecting at 1am after a tedious race weekend. knows oscar to be one who sleeps in too early, as if his circadian rhythm was built upon the foundation of a restrictive curfew, and even fathoming the fact that he is awake past 12 is rather peculiar.
yet, with the mutually pre-established sense that lando would be awake (he's probably an insomniac, but it's not too concerning for him to actually check), and that oscar was asking if he was just for the sake of, most likely because he's, unusually, unable to sleep, lando replies with much sluggish vim.
fingers moving as if they played in a dream, he's able to reply with 'yh, why????' and sends it off before throwing his phone on the bed. he thinks, if he's sober, he would care more that this is oscar!!!! who is normally adamant about getting sleep!!! and not looking more sleep deprived than his naturally downturned eyes already make he seem to be!!!! but his mind feels like gooey viscous, and he counts about 3,000 peaks and troughs of the popcorn ceiling above before losing count and seeking solace in the spliff that burns his throat like a madman. he ponders if he's going crazy.
it's not long after that the undulating, monotonous buzz from his phone tickles his skin and with a sigh he goes to reply. and as he does so, his girlfriend, curiosity piqued, perks up from the foot of the bed.
"who's texting you this late?"
she looks ridiculously amusing: head hanging off the edge, loose and completely yielding like a dead body, and the only thing that reassures lando of her consciousness is the occasion movement of her arm to take another drag.
he wedges the joint between his reddened lips, lips curling awkwardly to speak, "piastri. dunno what he wants th- oh shit."
he's never felt such a sinking, crippling feeling of his high escaping him like a broken dam before. it's weirdly chilling, and for a good second, he feels brightly and vividly sober again. the texts just... stare at him and he almost wants to hurl his phone at the wall and watch it rain a litany of debris.
osc: just... forgot to give you back your stuff that i borrowed
osc: found some green leaf stuff in it lol im a bit concerned
lando's read it so many times, he's more than certain he knows just how many letters it consists of. fingers hover above the keyboard but it looks like they're weirdly swimming in air as he debates just what to write, and y/n is suddenly hissing his name, having sat up.
"— lan'! fucking hell, what happened?"
he moves on autpilot, back resting up the headboard, "he's found my weed."
y/n— y/n snorts. she sighs, moves back to her original pose, and lando's brain feels like static.
"love, i thought it would be worse."
lando splutters, "worse? babe, this is already bad! he could tell management for all i know." the mere thought of that makes lando's mind congeal. nevertheless, high out of his wits, he thinks he would somehow find a way to continue even if he was implored to stop.
she's disagreeing and laughing, and lando doesn't know what to make of it.
"nah, you're good. oscar wouldn't tell a soul," it's silent as he sees a burst of smoke ascend from the edge of the mattress, "tell him to bring it over."
lando fights with himself in his head. it's hilarious, really, watching his face morph from one emotion to another, and after 5 minutes with no whooshing affirmative of a message being sent, y/n exhales.
the bed curves in as she crawls up towards lando, before plucking the phone from his grip.
"it's really not that deep, lan'," her voice feels like cotton in his ears, "oscar isn't like that."
her fingers fly across the keyboard, how she does so in her inebriated state, lando has no clue, and just as quickly as she snatched the phone, she's sliding it back between his fingers.
"how— how do you know that?"
all presumptions, really, lando thinks. they may be good friends, him and oscar, but they've still got many, many steps to go before he's reassured that the other wouldn't go running his mouth to management because he found *fucking weed* in his bag.
the little voice at the back of his mind seeths, 'you shouldn't be smoking anyway', but he ignores it. what the hell does it know?
y/n goes to straddle him, crotch digging into his. its a soft wave of pleasure that oozes from the pressure, and lando lets a small moan mix with the puff of smoke he blows out. they would've fucked if only his limbs didn't feel like they've been detached and re-stitched; maybe they'd end the night with a lazy ride.
his girlfriend smirks, all cunning and undeniably hot, sucking in as much smoke as she can before blowing it all on his face. if anybody else had done this, he'd turn feral, but there's something alluring when y/n's exhale tickles his skin like feathers.
"how do i know? well, oscar, he kinda reminds me of you—" lando interrupts with a raised brow and a questioning stare, but y/n proceeds, "both of you are- you were- itching for a release. him not as much as you, but i still see it."
and lando can't really deny that, because he sees it too. in the way oscar's eyes seem to dart with dreaded uncertainty, and the way his shoulders are always up and tense, as if he has been tied like a puppet.
"that's what i call 'destined to get high'," y/n banters. it makes lando snort and roll his eyes (ultimately omitting to dwell on the sliver of seriousness that leaks through).
"dunno why you're rolling your eyes, you were basically begging me to give you a spliff," y/n taunts, and even though he groans at the reminiscence, he doesn't deny it. doing so would be like calling himself michael schumacher.
"yeah, whatever," he takes a lazy drag, a hand sliding up and down y/n's thigh, "at least i'm sexy when getting stoned."
y/n cackles, dissolving into a small giggle as she twirls her fingers through lando's curls; she never wants to let him go.
"damn right, baby."
another ping sounds from lando's phone, and subconsciously, his hands snakes to get it.
when he turns it on, he doesn't think he can be gobsmacked with such intensity twice in a day.
landooo: yh just bring it over
landooo: you can join us if you'd like
landooo: 😉
osc: uhm sure..
"y/n."
-.-.-.-.-
weed.
he'll be fucking damned.
the laugh that is punched out of him is one of disbelief, and, quite frankly, sheer horror.
he'd only wanted to borrow some shaving cream, after all, he's not one to favour the prickly itch of stubble. and in perfect, restless lando fashion, he was given the whole essentials bag and tasked with finding it himself.
which then leads him to now, palm burning with the weight of three spliffs that had somehow tumbled out of a flat metal tin.
he stares at them for so long that he might as well have burned holes into them (ironic), and in a flurry of movement, he's stuffing everything back into the bag, zipping it closed. if he doesn't see it, then he doesn't know it's there. cool.
but he's just standing, in the middle of his hotel room, completely clueless and delirious. he doesn't know how many times he wipes perspiration off his palms and onto his shorts, neither does he know how he's able to text lando about his findings.
originally, he thought that sending the infamous, suggestively connotated 'you up?' would've trimmed a bit of the tension away, yet it seems like lando, without fail, waters the situation with a fuck-ton more.
"'join us'? fucking hell."
oscar feels absolutely scorched from the wisps of his hair to the tips of his toes, and a spark of something curls in his gut.
no, absolutely not.
it's- he flips his watch to check the time- one am for fuck's sake, and lando's— getting high. smoking weed. [most likely] with his girlfriend.
whatever it is that makes his gut its abode curls even more as he shoves his feet into the nearest shoes he can find, and tames his hair in the mirror by the doorway. finding the night already too hard to bare, he doesn't dwell on what he'd done, and heads off to lando's room with sickening anticipation swirling within the grooves of his skin.
the walk is only a few seconds long, and oscar curses the fact that they weren't roomed further apart (impractical in usual circumstances, but the current predicament is anything but usual). he guesses he stands there, navy blue wash bag clutched in a vice grip, for many minutes (his concept of time tonight is royally fucked— how has he stayed up this late?) before he musters up some courage to knock on the door. in the quietude of the night, the sound is magnified to the point where he winces and hopes that no one else on their floor wakes up.
he hears a quiet rustle from behind the door, sighs for the umpteenth time that day (honestly, he could have a smoke for himself to- no.) before it's swiftly open.
y/n stands there, no sign of a spliff in sight, but her heavy lidded red eyes (that must hurt, right?) and the pungent smell of weed is enough to tell.
"ah, golden boy is here," y/n's grinning, as much as she can do without it looking robotic, and oscar blushes.
"g-golden boy?"
"i said what i said," she opens the door wider, and oscar's vision catches a limp leg hanging off the side of the bed, "you coming in or what?"
he's never been in such a mind-tearing crossroad before. wants to be reasonable and say no, afterall his job is on the line here (just because lando hasn't been caught, doesn't mean he won't, too). but then he's thinking that he's played angel's advocate for too long, and, as if the universe wants to commit a double homicide, lando is walking over, countenance lackadaisical and bends down as he wraps his arms around her waist.
he asks for forgiveness, because such a temptation before him is completely unforgiving , and oscar finds his vascillations come to an end the second he makes eye contact with his teammate.
it's then he realises that the something that had been driving his intestines mad was sheer want, and, having a mind of their own, his feet shuffle into the room, decision finalised by the click of the door shutting behind him.
he just hopes he doesn't regret this is in the morning.
the couple, with eased familiarity, move back to the bed, leaving oscar standing there, lost and expecting. lando regains possession of the spliff, back flat against the bed and arm bent behind his head.
he's turning to oscar, several beats later, with a heated look that just pulls the australian right in.
"put the bag down, osc," he's demanding— oh fuck, "and come over here."
oscar feels rather mortified at the effect lando's assertiveness has on him. his heart curdles, drips away like goo, and he can't think straight.
toes off his shoes, sliding them out of the way with his foot, before dumping the bag on lando's luggage and tentatively making his way to the bed.
it's excruciatingly daunting, must he say, and he's sure it's blatant because y/n is grinning softly and beckoning him closer with the wave of a hand.
"you're good, oscar."
then he's fully on the bed, a thin sheen of gray blurring his vision and the stench of smoke so thick, he could get high off it alone.
lando's splayed in front of him, watching intensely as his fingers accomodate a joint between them, and y/n's at his side, right at the foot of the bed, fiddling with a metal tin of her own.
he wonders just how long they've been doing this for.
"for me, since i was 18/19 maybe. lando started about a year ago."
oscar's brain fucking spasms.
his head whips to y/n, then back to lando, who just smiles and takes another drag, "a year?!"
the girl beside him giggles, turning back to him with a freshly rolled spliff of his own, "yeah. practically drooling to take a hit."
his teammate groans, dragging a hand down his face before sitting up, they seem to go through this ordeal once or twice before.
before he can question any more, y/n points the joint at him, "you sure you want to do this?"
funny, he's asking himself this. has been ever since he read the proposition that lando (y/n) had sent, and he had replied with a seemingly confused 'sure'. heat feels like a thousands ants crawling up his body, and the silence is even worse because he's certain his ears are filled with cement.
"am i— am i gonna get addicted to... this?"
lando shakes his head just as y/n shrugs, "depends, love. if you've got good enough self control and don't rely on it too much, you'll be fine."
oscar gives a sigh of relief, but turns tense again as he looks at lando. almost telepathically, he knows what oscar is thinking.
"no osc, i'm not hooked on this. i only do it every couple of weeks or so."
his hands raise up in defense, "just asking, mate."
"and you have every right to, baby," y/n says, then scoops his hand into her grip and puts the spliff in his hand, "now take this and let lando teach you."
oscar doesn't know what to do with it. he just stares at the green stick in his hand and wills up some courage to look back up at lando. for the first time in 22 years, he's going to experience what it's like to get high, and the excitement that crawls up his spine is chilling.
"take this," lando pushes a bottle of water into his hands, and oscar looks at it in confusion.
"it's your first time, so it'll probably make you cough a ton. drinking water helps."
oscar nods, gently taking and unscrewing it open. he gulps it down like a starved animal, and almost chokes when he notices his teammates girlfriend staring bullets into his face. his heart jumps and he stops drinking.
"now put the spliff in your mouth and let me light it for you."
oscar does so, feeling the weight of the rolled joint between his lips is completely maddening.
his teammate fishes a black lighter from the bedside table, then scooches closer to oscar's crossed legs. lando's body is like a furnace of drunken heat, and it only gets worse when his hand lands right on oscar's bare thigh.
it feels perfect and oscar thinks he's surfing on the waves of euphoria already.
"this good?" lando questions his touch, and oscar doesn't waste time to nod, "alright— when i light it, you're gonna try and inhale as much as you can. don't let it stay in your throat or you're gonna cough."
oscar bobs his head affirmatively.
"if you can't, just take it in small amounts, not too much that it hits your throat."
then lando's leaning in, flame swaying from the lighter, and oscar's eyebrows scrunch as he follows it closer and closer to the spliff.
it's instaneous, the heat that fills his mouth, and in a hurried succession, oscar is inhaling and spluttering like a madman. his eyes are burning, they may already be red at this point, and his nose feels ripped off.
"take it easy, love," a hand- y/n's- rests upon his back and he finds himself needing composure, and not only from his failed attempt to smoke.
"wow uh that was— uhm..."
lando rubs his thigh, with the intention to comfort, but oscar finds himself more pent up than before. the weed is already kicking in and his mind feels chopped into pieces and mixed with cake batter, and every touch feels like a punch.
"you good to go again?" lando queries. oscar nods, his throat feeling too rough to speak up, "okay then, take your time and calm yourself down. small intakes, yeah?"
the spliff goes back between his lips, and with lando watching him like he's the best movie he's ever seen, he's sucking in the smoke cautiously and— fuck, it feels so so good. he's unravelled everywhere, not a kink left in his joint nor a knot remaining in his muscles, and when he breathes the smoke out, he lets his head fall back with a smile on his face.
"there you go," lando's voice sounds loose and airy in his mind, and oscar finds himself loving it.
"look at him, babe," y/n chimes from beside him, and his head rolls to give her an inebriated grin, "told you he was meant for it."
lando hums, agreeing, from in front of him, "gonna shotgun with him."
whatever that is, y/n is eager to see it happen, and oscar gives lando a confused look. it only evokes a cute grin from the other, who plucks the spliff from oscar's fingers.
"i'll take a hit and blow it in your mouth, if that's cool with you."
and— oscar moans involuntarily. he doesn't know where it comes from but it's practically punched out of him with how loud it is, and lando smirks widely. all oscar can do is watch as he fills his mouth with smoke and shuffles closer to him. his heart palpitates, beating like a drum piece, and his skin is damp and flushed from the intensity of it all.
lando assesses oscar's decision, confirming his consent as he nods, and slowly, lando snakes an arm around his neck, pulling him closer. oscar is compliant, body wanting and downright desperate, mouth opening on autopilot.
the second lando's lips attach to his and the smoke is pushed into his mouth, oscar fucking loses it. his eyes roll to the back of his head, and he's grabbing lando's hair and pushing his mouth deeper.
he's kissing his teammate with all he has to give, and lando— he's reciprocating it, lips hungry on oscar's, biting and licking everywhere. for a second, oscar can't think about anything, mind filled with just lando, as his tongue slips in and turns the kiss filthy.
oscar hasn't made out with anyone with such ferocity. he's encompassed in scorching heat, and the euphoria just gets better as lando trails his lips down his neck. the bites and licks are inclement, and oscar's sure there'd be marks tomorrow, angry and purple, but right now, he doesn't care. not when lando's hands creep up his shirt, and run up his torso, resting upon his nipples and twirling them around his fingers.
"oh fuck, lando," his moan is so high pitched it sounds foreign and it's almost hard for him to believe that it comes from him. but he's sure it does, because another is forced out as soft hand turns his head to the side and there's another set of lips on his in an instant.
he thinks he could hooked on y/n's kisses, warm, wet and so fucking sensual, he feels worshipped. not an inch of skin is missed by her tongue, and with every drag of her lips against his, he's concluding that this would be the perfect way to die.
oscar's so hard in his jeans from lando's stimulation, y/n's kisses, and the heightened sensation of everything from the weed, that he almost cums in his shorts. he can only imagine how plump it could be, and how a mouth on it would have him sobbing for days.
but he doesn't have to, because lando creeps a hand to his crotch and squeezes. the whine that leaves oscars mouth and into his teammate's girlfriend's is criminal.
"gonna suck you off so good, osc," lando moans in his ear, breath warm and words dirty, "you like that?"
and as oscar begs him to, he thinks that maybe getting high with lando and y/n isn't so bad afterall.
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Very depressed vent in the tags
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gojoest · 9 months
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non-explicit but suggestive, creampie implied, MDNI, gojo is being dramatic after he wakes up without you in bed
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it smells like the sun, satoru thinks, as he wakes up to the sunlight creeping in through the blinds, hitting his face with a warm glow. his eyes are still closed, a soft smile spread on his lips elicited by the memories of last night, of you chanting his name like a little prayer as your bodies were locked together. the longer he thinks of it, the bigger his smile grows. the way your face flushed and contorted as he dived into you, the way your hands grabbed his hips to push him even deeper, the way your fingers intertwined and your foreheads pressed against each other until you both came down from your high.
*slap*
“shit”, he smacks himself across the face because his smile started evolving into little giggles, “shit”, but also because something down there, between his legs, was evolving, too, “calm down there, buddy. not now. first, we need to find our cute runaway lover who sneaked out of bed while we were sleeping still”
satoru knew you weren’t in bed the moment his consciousness awakened. he didn’t have to open his eyes to see it nor to reach his hand to your side of the bed only for it to end on the empty mattress. he knew, simply because he always holds you in his arms when in bed, even when you toss around and slip away from his embrace in the middle of the night, his hands find you and pull you back where you belong. it’s an automatic reflex of his body that doesn’t require his brain to create the action. it’s a need, to always be as close as possible to you.
it's a struggle for him to open his eyes now and actually see that you’re not there. a voice at the back of his head, a quite dramatic one at that, tells him to keep them shut until you come back so he doesn’t have to witness your shared bedroom without you in it.
but he beats the urge eventually, a big pout present on his face. why would you deprive him of the feeling of waking up next to you in the morning. what a cruel thing to do, he thinks before grabbing his phone from the nightstand. seeing the picture of you on his lockscreen quickly chases away the pout replacing it with a soft smile.
“but i want the real thing”, he purses his lips again and dials your number.
“how dare you” is the first thing he says as soon as you pick up. you can not only hear the pout in his voice from the other side of the line but almost see it on his cutely dramatic grumpy face, “how dare you sneak out and go grocery shopping without me?”
“oh, you miss me already?”, you let a chuckle out, “i am on my way back, can you hold on for 15 more minutes and not die without me, mm?”
“i can’t promise... my heartbeat is slowing down, i can feel my internal organs shutting down one by one, you have to hurry up or it will be fatal”
“you’re such a baby, satoru”
“exactly. and who leaves a baby alone at home and casually goes grocery shopping? you. you are bad-bad”
you can’t help yourself but stop in the middle of the street and start laughing heartily, “sorry, baby, it won’t happen again. but then again… how did you know i was out grocery shopping?”
“i put a gps tracker on you”
“you what?”, your eyes widen at his words. no, he can’t be this crazy, right?, you think.
“yea, it’s the dna i put inside you last night. it’s like part of me is with you, so it’s only natural that i would know where you are at any given moment”
“you know what, you’re the worst”
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