#but sam has to be convinced. what if his blood hurts Dean. what if he’s too corrupted to protect Dean like that. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

destieltropecollection · 20 days

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Destiel Trope Collection 2024 | Day 13: Case Fic

Crimson Demise | @tami-ryver Rating: Mature Word Count: 1,385 Main Tags/Warnings: One-Sided Attraction, one-sided Castiel/Dean Winchester, Creature Castiel (Supernatural), Vampire Castiel (Supernatural), Alpha Vampire Castiel, Hunter Dean Winchester, Scared Dean Winchester, Hurt Dean Winchester, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Possessive Castiel (Supernatural), Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Horror, Body Horror, Blood, Blood and Gore Summary: Dean closes his eyes. This is it. This is the end, he is going to die here. He can feel the being walking toward him, almost silent footsteps making him whimper. Dean shivers when the being breaths against his neck. Dean doesn't even try to defend himself. He can feel the power of the creature. There's nothing that can save him now.

Cerulean Eyes | @tami-ryver Rating: Mature Word Count: 1,702 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, Hunter Castiel (Supernatural), Hunter Dean Winchester, Hunter Sam Winchester, Monster of the Week, Case Fic, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel Being an Asshole (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Being an Asshole, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Blood and Gore, Gore, Blood, Angst Summary: The sight that greets him is going to haunt his nightmares till the end of time. Dean falls on the ground, horror written on his face and his throat closes with fear. He is shaking from fright and he wishes he never went to see what the noise was all about. As he is pretty sure, this is the last thing he will ever see.

Urban Sonata | @verobatto Rating: Mature Word Count: 4,150 Main Tags/Warnings: Music professor!Castiel, cop!Dean, case fic, modern setting, murder, BAMF!husbands Summary: When one of the Professor Novak's pupils dies by overdose, he immediately finds out is not a Suicide. As he desperately tries to convince Detective Winchester about his suspicious, he will engage into a ragedly seek for the murderer by making justice by his own hands. Or... How Detective Winchester's world trembles in the moment he meets the most devastatingly gorgeous and bamf guy of the universe.

Visionary | @verobatto Rating: Mature Word Count: 5,570 Main Tags/Warnings: AI, socially awkward nerd!Castiel, cop!Dean, strangers to lovers, adventure, modern setting Summary: When the incredible AI Angel contacts officer Dean Winchester in his own computer, the newbie cop didn't expect he was about to live such an incredible adventure. There's a cyber attack coming to his country and he needs to seek for Castiel Novak, a young and famous genius who's the one that created AI Angel. He is the only one that can stop this attack. Will Dean be able to find him on time?

Sacred | @verobatto Rating: Mature Word Count: 9,067 Main Tags/Warnings: Priest!Castiel, hunter!Dean, openly bisexual Dean, flirting, falling in love, case fic, demons Summary: The best exorcist, Father Castiel Novak is authorized to free action for a dangerous mission: to find and send back to Hell the powerful Prince of Hell, Azazel. No one can get in his way, no one but maybe one insightful tall hunter and his stubborn and flirty big brother. Will Castiel be able to fulfill his mission while trying not to succumb to this new unexplored sensations Dean Winchester makes him feel for the first time?

Beneath The Snow | @notastupidbird Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 12,082 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Hunters, Fallen Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Solo Hunter Dean Winchester, Hunters For Hire, Monsters are Known, Inspired by Mushishi, Soft Castiel/Dean Winchester, Case Fic, Snowed In, Winter, Minnesota, Parent Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse (victim is a teenager and the abuse is only briefly implied and not depicted), POV Dean Winchester Summary: While stopping for gas in snowy Minnesota, Dean and Castiel meet a woman who says her son has been unable to feel the cold ever since his father died. Even in a world where the paranormal is mundane and the supernatural is known, some secrets try their best to remain hidden beneath the snow.

The Elevator Game | @motherofdragonflies Rating: Explicit Word Count: 88,005 Main Tags/Warnings: Major Character Death, Psychological Horror, Body Horror, Intrustive Thoughts, Heavy Angst, Canon Divergent, Enemies to Lovers, Divorce Arc, Choose Your Own Adventure, First Kiss, Hand jobs, Blow Jobs Summary: *The game is simple. Get in an elevator, and follow the rules. If you follow them correctly, the elevator will rise and when the doors open, they will open onto a world that is not your own.* When his brother goes missing after investigating the death of a teenage girl in a hotel in St. Louis, Dean Winchester is dismayed to discover it involved an internet legend called “the Elevator Game”. He’s even more dismayed when Castiel—who walked away weeks ago and hasn’t been returning Dean’s calls—shows up, also looking for Sam. Dean doesn’t want to work with Castiel, and Castiel doesn’t seem thrilled about working with him, either. Can they put their differences aside when they discover that Sam disappeared after playing the Elevator Game? Will Dean and Castiel play the game and travel to the Other World themselves? Will they find Sam before it's too late? The choice, dear reader, is yours. You are in control of the story. But choose wisely, for once you play the Elevator Game, things may never be the same again.

The Trapdoor (WIP) | @davidfosterwallaceandgromit Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 161,878 Main Tags/Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, Alternate Season/Series 13, Canon rewrite, meta narrative, Case Fic, Monster of the Week, Divorce Arc, Purgatory Prayer, Sobriety, Summary: In a moment of danger in Apocalypse World, Dean lets Castiel possess him. When they get home, they don't expect anything to be different. Or: How to break the bonds of your narrative by stepping out of the frame. Season 13 & 14 rewrite featuring Divorce Arc 2.0, Widower Arc fallout, Cas and Jack father-son time, Mary and Dean mother-daughter time, man vs narrative minus Chuck plus Billie, and lots of casefic.

#destiel trope collection #destiel trope collection 2024 #destiel #fanfic #supernatural #case fic

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imagining-supernatural · 2 months

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Save Us

Request: Heyyyyoooo! Could you maybe do a dean x reader where she’s always been the rock in the relationship, even tho he’s not that emotional either, but she’s just literally never upset or seems sad, but one day she has a nightmare and then that just kind of starts the ball rolling and she just kinda finally needs dean and he’s there and comforts her?

Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2428

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“We’ll be home in about an hour,” Dean’s tired, flat voice tumbled through your phone speaker.

“Hunt didn’t go well, I take it?”

“We got the ghost,” he sighed heavily. “But not before it got some more kids.”

Years and years of being just too late definitely took a toll on hunters. Dean grew up in the life, so it was his normal. But even though he constantly said it wasn’t a big deal, or he was used to it, you knew it was a lie. He needed his downtime. He needed comfort. And beyond his need for that reassurance, he deserved it.

“I’m so sorry, babe.” It was so hard to hear him so down when you couldn’t hold him. “How’s Sam doing? Think you can convince him to take the weekend off and not look for another hunt?”

There was a low murmur on the other end of the call while Dean spoke with Sam. A moment later, you were put on speakerphone, the background noise of the car becoming louder.

“How’s your leg?” Sam asked.

“I think it’s almost all the way healed. If you keep your laptop shut for the weekend, I should be able to come on the next hunt.”

Sam chuckled. “Fine, fine. Radio silent weekend.”

With that out of the way, you said your farewells and hung up.

Your leg was perfectly fine. The fracture was healed and you’d been working out on it for the last few days while the boys finished up a two week long hunting spree across the country. But using your leg as an excuse gave Dean the space to not feel like this break was because of him. He hated being the reason you all took a few days off. He hated feeling like the weak link.

So you let him think he was doing this for you, when in all actuality, you would be spending the weekend building him back up, getting his confidence and mental strength back to their normal levels.

*****

“Son of a bitch!” Dean yelled, his voice echoing across the warehouse. After cutting down the Djinn’s victim, you transferred her to Sam’s arms before setting off in search of your boyfriend.

The Djinn had gotten away and all three of you were feeling the disappointment and failure. But after the last few hunts had gone awry, you knew that Dean was teetering on the edge. Hell, you all were, but he took it particularly hard. He always felt responsible for everything that went wrong. And when everything went wrong for a solid four weeks in a row? Well… nothing you could say to him would be heard over the spearing self-hatred that was surely chorusing in his head right now.

“Babe?” It was probably best to announce your presence before touching him. You knew he wouldn’t ever hurt you on purpose, and you could definitely handle yourself, but you’d rather not have to dodge his pent up swing and add that to his guilt that he nearly hit his girlfriend. “Hey, Dean. C’mere.”

He shook his head, hand pressed against the wall, head hung low. “He got away, Y/N. I had him right here.”

“We’ll get him, Dean.” Padding over softly, you wrapped your arms around his waist, pressing your cheek between his shoulder blades. It didn’t matter that his shirt was damp with sweat. It didn’t matter that you had blood spattered on your cheek. All that mattered was that Dean knew that you were there for him. “Maybe not tonight, but we’ll get him.”

You could hear Sam talking softly to the two victims you’d saved, but chose to stay with Dean. Sam knew what he was doing. You and he had a lot in common when it came to dealing with failure. And right now, Sam had a job, so he would be able to make it until he was alone, or until the three of you collapsed in the hotel room.

Dean however…

His breathing was slowing and heartbeat quieting under your ear. When he took one, last deep breath and straightened out, you loosened your hold around him, but didn’t let go. As soon as Dean turned around, you hugged him close again, breathing a sigh of relief when his arms surrounded you and his nose nudged into your hair, breathing deeply.

He was going to be okay.

*****

“I’m sure it’s just a cold,” you said through a stuffy nose, buried in blankets on your bed. “You two go. I’ll be fine for the weekend.”

Dean took a step forward and you held up your hand to ward him off. You didn’t want him getting sick too. “I don’t mind staying here with you, Y/N.”

“And leave Sam alone? Last time you did that, he ended up taking off for a few days to see some author read her book for hours on end. The kid needs you, Dean. Who else will pull him from his geeky ways?”

“I think my sick girlfriend needs me too.”

“All that’d do is get you sick too. I’ll just take it easy for a few days, watch some Netflix, take some baths, eat some soup… I appreciate it, Dean. But I don’t want you to get sick.”

He sighed, giving in. “Alright. Fine. But I’m gonna be checking in so often it’ll feel like I never left.”

“Wouldn’t expect anything less.”

As he came closer, you knew it was pointless to try to get him to stay away. He wouldn’t leave without a kiss, even if it was just on the forehead. And, to be honest, you wouldn’t want him too. Looking up into his shining eyes, you gave him a weak smile. “Love you, Dean.”

“Love you too, sweetheart. Take care.”

You watched as he closed the door behind him before you sank back down into the pillows. It wasn’t even half an hour later that your chills turned to shakes and you barely made it to the toilet before upheaving the light breakfast you’d been nibbling on. With your head in the toilet bowl, you didn’t hear the squeal of the garage door opening or the heavy footsteps coming down the hallway. It was the fingers on your head, pulling your hair back from your face that would have made you jump if you’d had the energy.

“Dean?”

“I’m here, babe.”

“What about—”

“Sam called Charlie. She’ll meet him down in Georgia. I couldn’t leave my best girl alone while she was sick, so I just ran into town for a quick supply run.” Once he had all of your hair in a messy bun in his hand, he settled onto the floor next to you. “And I don’t want to hear anything about me getting sick.”

“’m glad you’re here.” Getting through a cold alone wasn’t a big deal. But when it suddenly became the flu?

The porcelain of the toilet was cold against your cheek; a stark contrast to the heat in your cheek. For nearly fifteen minutes, you sat there on the floor with Dean’s fingers tangled in your hair. When you puked all you had left to puke, you sat back against the wall with a sheen of sweat across your forehead. “Why can I keep fighting after literally getting shot in the leg, but a stupid virus knocks me out?”

Dean chuckled beside you, reaching up to fill a cup with water. “As badass as you are, sweetheart, you’re still human. Here, swish and spit.”

Just the slight movement it took to sit up and spit into the toilet upset your fragile equilibrium and triggered more dry heaving.

It was going to be a long few days.

*****

“Dean! Over there!” you shouted, pointing at the ghost that appeared behind Sam, who immediately dropped so Dean could shoot the phantom with rock salt.

Once the ghost disappeared momentarily, Sam resumed digging the grave. The pile of dirt seemed to grow and grow and grow, but the hole didn’t get any deeper. “Sam, hurry up!!”

“I’m going as fast as I can,” he gritted out, throwing another shovel of dirt on the pile that was now nearly as tall as him.

Three small kids ran out from behind the dirt pile just as your breaths started coming out in cloudy puffs. It seemed like your body was paralyzed. You tried to run to the kids, but couldn’t move as the ghost advanced on them instead. Desperate, you called out to Dean, trying to get him to shoot rock salt at the ghost for a brief reprieve.

But he didn’t respond.

“Dean!” You tried calling out again, again receiving no response.

The tell-tale sound of a shovel hitting a casket pulled you from your paralysis and you found that you could move again. Hinges creaked and you looked down in the hole that seemed to be a mile deep as Sam opened the casket. “Toss me the fuel and salt, Y/N!”

The fuel… the fuel… where the hell is the fuel? You looked all around you for the duffle bag that you swore was right next to you just moments ago only to see a patch of grass. The green grass shriveled into dusty brown specks before your eyes.

“Y/N!” Sam’s shout came again, but you couldn’t tear your gaze away from the grass particles that were carried away by the wind.

Suddenly, the three kids were right in front of you. Blood dripped down their faces and they spoke in concert: “You didn’t save us. Why didn’t you save us, Y/N?”

“No… no!” Backing away from the awful scene, you tripped and fell backwards, arms reeling as the grave Sam had just dug stretched into a seemingly never-ending fun house mirror effect. Children’s faces watched you from behind the mirrors, angry frowns morphing into chilling grins, damning you for your failures. Their deaths were on you. Further and further you fell, some unknown force pulling you towards purgatory.

Then you were standing in an old motel room. You gasped for air, doubling over. Equilibrium should have returned, but it was as if you were on a merry-go-round and the world wouldn’t stop tilting.

“Y/N.” Dean’s voice normally grounded you. But now? His deep rasp reached into your body and gripped your throat. Your air supply was cut off so suddenly that you couldn’t even gasp for breath. Those green eyes you loved so much glared daggers at you. “They died because of you. It’s all your fault.”

*****

“Stop it!” You shouted, waking yourself.

Dean’s head shot up from where he was bent over a laptop on the desk. “Whoa, Y/N.” As your chest heaved, struggling for breath, Dean hurried over. He immediately wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “Baby, you’re okay. It was just a dream.”

You shook your head. “No, no it’s–” You cut yourself off and forced a deep breath in. Sure, the events were a dream, but the words? They were true. They were true, and they caught up to you. You’d spent so long shoving aside reality and focusing on the brothers and what they needed. What Dean needed.

Dean.

He didn’t need to deal with this. As soon as you could, you would fortify yourself again and push it all away. You’d be back to good again.

Another deep breath and you shook your head again, this time to clear your mind. “Just a dream,” you whispered, repeating his words. “Just a dream.”

“That’s right, sweetheart. Just a dream.”

You focused on Dean’s hand moving over your arm, drawing comfort from the familiar action. When you felt calm enough, you looked up at Dean, intending to thank him. But he took one look at your eyes and his brow furrowed.

“Sweetheart?”

“It was just a dream, Dean. I’m fine. I just… It’s the life, right?”

Calloused fingers trailed down your cheek and Dean brought his forehead to hers. “Sure, sweetheart. But that doesn’t mean nightmares don’t get to us.”

“They don’t get to you,” you whispered.

He sighed, breath disturbing the air between them. “Baby, they do. But I’ve got you. I get to wake up next to you and I remember that whatever the hell I’ve gone through and whatever I’ve fucked up in my life, somehow I’ve managed to do something right enough that you love me.”

“I do love you,” you murmured.

“Whatever your nightmare was about, whatever was said… Baby that’s not real. I love you. And that’s fucking real.”

For a long moment you sat in silence, just taking in the warmth and affection from Dean. Then you cracked a timid smile, taking the first step out of the tailspin that the dream had sent you into. “Since when do you say such pretty words, Dean Winchester?”

“Since the day I fell in love with you. And every damn day that I get to stand by your side and hold your hand and feel how much you love me.” His thumb traced over your cheek bone, drawing your eyes to his. “I don’t need to know the details about your dream. But if I can manage to deserve someone as amazing as you in my life after the shit I’ve done, then you sure as hell deserve sainthood just for putting up with me, not to mention for all of the people you’ve saved.”

“I didn’t save them all, Dean.” Your eyes fell from his as the kids’ faces from your dream flickered across the sheets in front of you.

“Baby, we couldn’t save them all. We tried every damn thing we could. Sometimes, it just isn’t possible.” Dean brushed his lips across your cheek. “You taught me that. Guess it was past time that you got that reminder, huh?”

You gave in and leaned against him, physically and mentally. “Pretty words from a pretty face. How did I get so lucky to have such a great boyfriend?”

“You think I’m pretty?” He smiled. “Cause I think those pretty words came from your pretty face first, sweetheart.”

His nose nudged yours moments before a soft kiss was brushed across your lips like a paintbrush feathering a sunset onto a canvas. The rumble of thunder in Dean’s voice settled you like a comforting weighted blanket. “‘sides, sweetheart… you saved me the moment I met you. If you can save a bastard like me, anything that tells you that you failed can shove it.”

Eyes shining, you fell into his eyes. “We saved each other, Dean.”

“Damn right, we did.”

#dean x reader #dean x reader fluff #dean winchester fluff #supernatural fanfiction

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princessmisery666 · 6 months

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Meeting In The Darkness

Summary: You forgive Dean for what he did when he had black eyes but he can’t forgive himself.

Warnings/Genres/Troupes: angst, blood, implied torture, Demon!Dean, MOC!Dean, unresolved angst.

W/C: 2,882.

Pairing: past Dean Winchester x fem!reader (you - no descriptions of body type or ethnicity).

Bingo: @jacklesversebingo Square Filled: “Well one of us has to be wrong, and it’s not going to be me.”

A/N: @justagirlinafandomworld and @pink-sparkly-witch helped with ideas and feedback, thank you, but it has changed a little since then.

Betas: @slytherkins // all mistakes are my own.

Graphics: made by me on canva, divider @talesmaniac89

Master Lists: Dean Winchester // JAckles Verse Bingo // Main

It’s dark. Too dark. Your gun is out along with your flashlight, scanning the corners of the abandoned warehouse but the darkness seems to swallow anything beyond the end of the barrel.

Something is off and your gut tells you to get out, run fast and far. But you won’t, at least not until you find Dean. He called hours ago, said he was hurt and needed help. He sent the location pin and it brought you here. But it doesn’t feel right, it's too…quiet. Like the shadows are listening to your heartbeat.

You tried calling Dean when you arrived but it rang out until his voicemail picked up. Sam’s not answering his phone either, maybe he’s hurt too?

One foot over the other, that’s all you can focus on, not the worry making your heart beat faster. You desperately wish you’d called for back-up. Jody, Donna, hell even Garth. Except it was Dean. Your affinity for the surly hunter often clouded your judgment. He might not have time for you to wait for back-up. If Dean is hurt, he needs you now, not when the sun rises, though you doubt the dawn would penetrate the dark depths of the damp smelling warehouse.

“Dean,” you call out in a soft whisper. “Sam?”

Dean’s location blips on your screen, you're standing right on top of it, but he must be a floor above you because there’s no sign of him, and you’ve checked below. You're afraid of what you’ll find, and looking down at the illuminated screen blinds you further in the blackness that surrounds you.

“This isn’t right,” you say and have the eerie feeling someone hears you.

Your phone rings, startling you so much, it drops to the floor. Of course it lands face down so you can’t see it.

“Fuck!”

You scramble around, flashlight scanning for it, and as you step forward, you manage to kick it further away. You follow as it slides across the dusty floor, and the corner hits the wall just as it stops ringing.

You're quick to pick it up and the smell hits you as you straighten up. It isn’t dust…

Demons.

You sigh with relief when Sam’s name flashes on the caller I.D again. “Sam.”

He doesn’t offer a greeting, frantically asking, “Where are you?”

“I’m at the warehouse. Dean called, he said you-”

“Get out,” Sam panics, “get out now, run!”

You freeze, terrified to turn around as the sudden sense you aren’t alone makes the hairs on your arms stand on end.

“Sam what’s going on?” You ask, slowly backing up, trying to follow the same path to ensure you don’t trip over anything.

“Dean isn’t Dean,” Sam explains, “the Mark, it changed him. He’s a…” he struggles to finish the sentence taking a deep breath, and he utters the word as you back into a solid chest, “demon.”

“Shit.”

“Hey, sweetheart,” Dean’s voice whispers against the shell of your ear, and it sounds as dark as the shadows.

He takes the phone from your hand and hangs up, throwing the device over his shoulder. He runs his fingers down your arms, shoulder to wrist. For the briefest of moments, you convince yourself it’s a gentle caress, a sweet ‘I missed you’ in Dean’s language, until he wraps his fingers around yours and the gun.

You forgot you had the weapon, despite Sam’s frantic warning, you’ve never feared Dean, and it’s not like you’d have shot him. But you know you’ll soon regret that thought.

“Give it up,” he instructs, with little room for argument, almost crushing your fingers beneath his.

You surrender it, cautiously taking a half step forward and turning at the same time when you feel Dean lean back to hand off the gun to someone you can’t see. He’s unnaturally fast, and before you can take a breath, he has you pinned against the wall, arms above your head. The flashlight falls, making the shadows dance, and as if on cue, the room's light illuminates, blinding you.

You squeeze your eyes shut against the assault and debate whether to keep them closed, afraid of what else is lurking in the room.

Dean demands, “Look at me,” and you know you’d be a fool to disobey.

Finally, when you find the courage to follow his command, you look up at him. Black drowns his pretty eyes, and his smile is fiendish.

“Please don’t say here’s Johnny,” you quip though you feel yourself start to tremble.

Dean laughs, but it doesn’t hold an ounce of amusement. “Johnny ain’t got nothing on me.”

You look over his shoulder, an army of demons line the walls looking at you with a fatal hunger.

“Is this…” You can’t say it, recognizing that this is the place Crowley kept the alphas. The room where you saved Meg from Alistair’s clutches. You don’t know what you're asking for exactly; to be let go, to make it quick or something else, but the word falls from you in a shaky breath. “Please.”

“Oh, don’t start begging yet,” Dean tuts, “you’ll spoil all the fun.”

“Fun?”

“See Sammy doesn’t believe that I’m no longer his big brother,” he explains, sounding irritated and bored.

“Dean, you don’t…”

His hand wraps around your throat, lithe fingers reaching from ear to ear, and he cuts off your air to stop you from talking. “I’m tired of telling him to leave me alone, so I thought it’s time to really show him what I am. Maybe when I’m done here, he’ll let me go.”

Dean POV

I watch you thrash and squirm in your sleep. I know better than to wake you. Luckily, my reflexes saved me from any real damage but I have the scar to remind me of the knife you keep tucked under your pillow.

“Dean, you don’t…” you whimper into the dream world.

Only, I know it's not a dream. It's a memory, playing out in full high definition. Unfortunately, I remember what happens next too.

I’ve tried running from the man - thing - I was, but I guess I’m too slow. It catches up to me in waves, winds me so much I clutch my chest, digging my fingers into my skin, hoping I’m somehow strong enough to break the flesh and rip my own heart out. Because that’s what it feels like while I watch you struggle. Every thrash or whimper is a blow to my chest, and I can’t catch my breath.

I’ve waited at the bottom of a hundred bottles, drowning while I waited for you to come back. Waging a war against myself, punishing myself the only way I know how, abusing my body and falling into bed with any woman willing to sleep with the down and out drunk.

I denied myself access to you. And you never called me. When finally I thought I had gotten away with it and felt a spark of relief that I wouldn’t ever have to face you again, like magic, you appeared.

That agony swallowed me whole, and I still feel like some big bad is chomping on my insides. It’s no less than I deserve, and heaven knows I’m never getting over you or what I did.

I remember the pact you made, a vow etched in your blood as I slowly and painfully drew it from your body. “When all this is over,” your lip trembled, but the conviction was in your eyes. So much so, even the demon in me was intrigued with the absolute belief written on your bloodied features. “When Sam has fixed you…” you swallowed thickly, found a last ounce of strength and told me - him - “I can wait for you at the bottom. I can stay away if you want me to, and I’ll wait for years if I have to, but I’ll see you again, and I’ll forgive you, Dean.”

I thought when your blood dried, you’d take it back, but apparently you haven’t. Because here you are, back at the bunker, sleeping in your old room. Is this what your forgiveness looks like? Pretending like nothing happened, even though you still have the scars, physical and mental, to show that it did.

Your jerking movements stop and I hope that the nightmare has passed when you roll to lay on your back. I wait a few minutes, watching your body relax, your eyes remain closed, and your frown smooth as your breathing evens out.

“Dean.”

It sounds intentional but you still look like you're asleep. You sigh heavily, hand coming up to rub your eyes open, and then you’re looking at me. A mixture of tiredness and weariness in your expression.

“Did I wake you?”

I can’t help but huff a laugh. You woke me. Seriously? I’m literally the thing in your nightmares, but you’re worried about waking me. It’s infuriating and typical.

“No, I haven’t been to bed yet.” I haven’t been sleeping much lately, but with you here, I knew it was useless to even try.

You roll on to your back, stare up at the ceiling and ask, “Where’re you gonna run to?”

You’re not completely wrong. I thought about jumping in Baby and hauling ass in any direction. I wish I had. I didn’t because I owe you at least an opportunity to tell me how much you hate me, remind me that I fucked us up, all because I couldn’t lose Sammy. Worst part is, I think you know I’d do it again.

Silence deafens me for a long time, and I can’t be sure if you’ve fallen asleep or not, until you deliver a blow I never expected.

“I still love you.”

I really did do some permanent damage because that’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard you say, and you’ve never said it before today. It’s always been on the tip of your tongue. I could see it in the moments you wanted to say it, especially the moments it wouldn’t have changed anything because then you’d have been saying it for you, to make yourself feel better, knowing I was going to hell or purgatory or wherever I was headed knowing how you felt. But now you're saying it for me because it’s what I need to hear, despite that I doubt the truth of it.

You shuffle to sit up, stare at me through the darkness, repeating, “I still love you, Dean.”

“You shouldn’t.”

You lean over to switch on the lamp, a slight jesting smirk when you look back at me. “Well, one of us has to be wrong, and it’s not going to be me.”

You say it so unbelievably casual as if you're commenting on the weather, and I know you’re trying to lighten the mood, but I just don’t have it in me to make jokes.

“There’s a first time for everything,” I counter, “and this is that time. You don’t love me, you love the idea of me, and I wish I was the guy you think I am, but I’m not and I won’t ever be.”

You sigh, and though you're too far away from me, I swear I feel it. As if a ghost just showed up, the temperature drops a few degrees, and a cold shiver runs through me when you mutter, “I know,” looking down at your fidgeting hands in your lap.

Son of a bitch. Why does that sting like a rock salt shot to my chest?

“But you're not the villain you think you are, either,” you say, softly, as if you're talking to yourself, and you may as well be because I’ll listen, but I won’t hear it.

“Villain, monster, all means the same.”

“You know what your problem is?” There’s no softness to your tone now. You're getting angry, and that makes more sense to me. You should be angry, furious, murderous even, but you won’t claim it like you should.

Regardless of your right to be furious with me, I bite back, “I have a few, but why don’t you tell me?”

“You don’t think you're worthy of love, that anyone who cares for you has been fooled into doing so, but what you don’t see is that you prove yourself worthy over and over again. The sacrifices you make, you put everyone - damn, the world - above yourself, and that makes you worthy.”

There’s that conviction again, the same undeniable faith you had when I had you tied down and bleeding out. You believe everything you just said, but it's the second time you’ve been wrong today.

“You’re wrong,” I say. “All the sacrifices I make are for selfish reasons, to save Sam, so I don’t have to live without my brother. That’s not commendable. And all the other times it was probably to fix a mistake I made trying to save Sam. I’m not worthy. I’m a screw up.”

You shrug, “Difference of opinion, I guess.”

Letting out a frustrated sigh, I shake my head, looking up at the ceiling as if I’ll be able to see the sanity you’ve so clearly let go of floating around up there. As my eyes drift back down, they land on your duffle sitting on the chair. It’s packed up tight still, the clothes you were wearing when you arrived neatly folded on top, boots on the floor beneath it.

You’re saying all this, claiming you love me but it looks as though you're ready to leave at the drop of a hat. “Not planning on staying?”

“Hadn’t decided yet, needed to know if I was too much of a reminder or if you could get past it all.”

“Get past it?” I shout. “It’s not some minor accident, YN. I didn’t accidentally step on your foot. I ran a blade through your skin, repeatedly. I took pleasure in hearing you scream. I was proud of how your blood dripped onto the floor!”

My rage makes you jump out of the bed. You, quite literally, won’t take this sitting down. You cross the room and get in my face. “I got past it, so why can’t you?”

I laugh, there’s no humor in it, but it's either that or smash my fist into the door. “You're past it, huh? So I wasn’t just stalking your sleep, walking around with black eyes and a knife soaked in your blood?”

You avert your gaze and take a half step back. I’ve won, I see the fight drain out of you in the way your shoulders slump. I don’t feel good about it.

“You came here to forgive me.” You meet my gaze and it’s right there, I can see it reflected back in your tearful expression. “But I don’t need it,” I say, as the first tear slips free, “and I really don’t want it.”

“We can’t go back.”

You’re not asking a question, you're speaking the realization aloud. But to be sure you understand, I add, “And there’s no going forward.”

Your gaze flicks to your unpacked bag. You inhale slowly and hold it for a long pause. “I won’t stay where I’m not wanted,” you exhale, “So when I leave, I’m not coming back.”

That’s not true. You are wanted, more than you’ll ever know and more than I could ever express, but it doesn’t matter. Wanting you is not enough to keep what I did in the shadows.

It’s a dick thing to do, but the hurt I’m causing you now, the pain that is free flowing from your eyes, is nothing compared to what will happen if you stick around. “Finally,” I sigh, “something we agree on.”

You hand flexes at your side, balls into a fist while you decide whether to strike me or not. I brace myself, expecting the blow. I deserve it. It’s what I need, a flare of anger, a singular moment to show me that I haven’t slaughtered the fight left in you.

Your hand relaxes, and the resolve, with such a finality I’ll never forget, settles in your eyes.

You’ve given up on me.

It’s for the best and there’s nothing left to say, so I turn and walk away.

It doesn’t take you long to get dressed, and I can’t bear to watch you leave, but I wait around the corner, out of sight, listening to your movements.

When you leave your room, I follow your departure through the halls, trying not to inhale your scent too deeply, knowing the memories it will ignite will burn my resolve.

Your truck door slams, but the engine doesn’t start, and I hold my breath. Are you fighting with yourself to leave or stay?

I don’t know which would make me feel worse.

The engine starts, and I drift closer to the garage door. I push it open a crack, enough to see you resting your head on your hands that grip the wheel so tight, I can feel the sting on my own palms. Your shoulders heave with your tears that the old cranky engine drowns out.

I do nothing but stare. The irony isn’t lost on me, I did the same thing that day in the warehouse; waiting, watching. The only difference is, as you drive away I’m the one left bleeding out and tortured.

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Master Lists: Dean Winchester // JAckles Verse Bingo // Main

#dean winchester #dean winchester fic #dean winchester angst #jacklesversebingo23 #dean winchester x you #demon dean #angst #spn #supernatural #spn fic #spn fanfic #supernatural fic #supernatural fanfic #blood #unresolved angst

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angel-derangement · 13 days

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season four sam is like such a evangelical religious nutcase to me in how he’s thinking. He’s like yeah god and the devil and angels are all real, duh. I do not care at all about the implications. There’s a natural order to the universe anyway and yeah people die womp womp but I have a special secret journey and I have a special power and im gonna save the world and I’ll do anything to get there and I am so convinced of this that I’ll hurt whoever I need to because I have this one guiding person to follow. And we’ve got the answer. And you can’t stop me you weak little faithless wimp of my brother. Oh but I love you soooo much I prommy. do not ask about if my actions reflect that. This is so incredible to me personally that they did this to him because a) 100% an accident, I think they weren’t constructing him to be a blind follower but the “voice of reason led astray” b) he has demon blood literally coursing through him so why would he be the one to represent christianity c) isn’t dean the one associated with the angels?? But no. That is not how Evangelical Christians work. They require an Enemy that Can Be Defeated By Measures in order to construct their entire worldview and they don’t put angels or God in the place of Hero Facing The Enemy, they put themselves there and do anything to structure that power to their advantage and never ever question it deeply no matter what you say. Dean meanwhile is questioning every single thing that every single person is doing, whether they say they’re good or bad, and he has serious issues with the choices both sides are making. And then he leads an angel into losing his faith while sam gets his faith fully betrayed. Anyway. If I think about this too much I go crazy. They’re all deconstructing in a way over the course of seasons 4 & 5. Sam is like a fundamentalist whose beliefs finally bit himself in his own ass. Dean is someone who grew up questioning it and so never got invested and can’t believe everyone else is getting sucked in. Cas…. Well Cas wants so badly for it to be true, and is forced over and over again into proclaiming his allegiance to the line, but ultimately has to give in to the slow crawl of doubt that leads to the demise of who you once were and who you thought you’d be, just because it turned out to be rotted the whole way through when you looked too closely. Don’t get me started on Cas.

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dw-squirrel · 19 days

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Just throwing this out there. It was in my notes and has been for a few years and I have yet to actually write it. So if by some chance someone wants to write it or knows a story like this. PLEASE GO FOR IT AND SEND ME A LINK 😭

Fandom: Supernatural

Characters: Dean, Sam, Benny, Cas, OC's and other canon characters welcome.

Ships: Dean/Benny, Destiel, Destiel + Benny whatever floats your boat. Just no wincest.

Plot:

Set in the correct universe, but not entirely canon? In the sense that everything is somewhat normal. But Benny isn't dead. He came back from purgatory with Sam.

Sam still isn't a big fan of Benny, so Dean doesn't talk to him a lot. But he tries to find a balance between keeping Sam happy and also being there for his friend who is clearly struggling with life here.

Dean was out by himself one night and stumbles upon a case. He tells Sam he'll be home later. Doesn't tell him that he's hunting, he makes up some lie. He and Sam were probably fighting earlier. He'd rather be by himself than deal with Sam right now 😭

Well, Dean doesn't show up later that night. It's been hours and Sam is panicking.

Dean wakes up the next morning with very little memory of what happened. All he knows is he was hunting a vampire...and he woke up covered in blood, his stomach hurts he's so fuckin hungry...and he's terrified because he's sensitive to light and can hear things so much better. Better than he'd like, he can hear someone's heart beating, blood pumping from a mile away...he knows one thing for sure is he was turned last night...

But he doesn't know if he can be cured, cuz he doesn't remember if he killed someone/ate someone or drank blood or anything...

He was going to call Sam, but he's kinda embarrassed. He wants to just kill himself now... especially when he finds a dead body nearby and they were clearly attacked by a vampire.

Dean kills the vamp that turned him... but not in time before they force blood down his throat... there's no going back...

He calls Benny first. Not Sam. Benny was in the area, he was supposed to be visiting him anyway...and when Benny finds out...he makes it his top priority to take care of Dean. He says Dean doesn't have to die. They can work with this... but Dean doesn't *want* to do this. So now Benny is trying every thing he can to convince Dean he doesn't have to die... but they might end up both dying just to live in purgatory forever 😬😬

Sam doesn't find out for like a few weeks and he's obviously losing his shit. Because I just can't imagine Sam genuinely being chill about this. Sam would be looking for his brother. Eventually he finds him and he's upset that Dean's just been out with Benny.

Bonus points if the only reason Sam found out Dean was a vamp is cuz Benny told him.

If no one writes this, then maybe I will eventually get around to it. Thanks for reading. Sorry the idea is so long. I needed to add more detail otherwise it's too vague and might not get what I want exactly.

#dean winchester #supernatural #benny lafitte #denny #destiel #sam winchester #story prompt #vampire

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lazarushound · 3 months

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The Official lazarushound Dean Winchester Playlist

Okay so this playlist is a big deal to literally no one except me but I spent like two hours explaining every single song on my dean playlist and I'll be damned if I don't share it with SOMEONE.

The playlist in question, which I update and add songs too fairly often(ish). It's roughly arranged in order of Dean's story, from pre-canon to the finale. A fair few of the songs are courtesy of catgirlhannibal, whom I adore.

Warning that is is a VERY LONG READ and almost definitely is plagued with typos. Without further ado, here is the 9.5k word explanation of every single song (at time of posting) on the playlist. Call that shit explicable Dean Winchester vibes, complete with my favourite lyrics from each song.

• Ramble On - Led Zeppelin

Dean's favourite song! The whole song is basically about having no choice but to keep going, even when things are tough. It's also actually about LOTR which is funny cause Dean's secretly a nerd lol. But yeah, it reflects a lot on Dean's nature as a traveller and someone who never settles in one place for long. Sometimes I grow so tired but I know I've got one thing I've got to do - I ramble on.

• Travelling Riverside Blues - Led Zeppelin

Dean's other favourite song! Probably not a popular reading of this song but for me, it definitely has a level of queer coding. Asked sweet mama, let me be your kid, she said "you might get hurt if you don't keep it hid" is the most obvious example of it.

• Psalms 40:2 - The Mountain Goats

Very biblical song lol. It's a lot about small town America (as many TMG songs are) and shitty motels which resonates with Dean pretty heavily. Not to mention: He has raised me from the pit and set me high.

• Night Moves - Bob Segar

This one is literally in the show so naturally reminds me of him. But it's about a teenage romance which definitely makes me think of young Dean. I mean, come on: out in the backseat of my '60 Chevy when the man drives a '67 Chevy??

• Father - The Front Bottoms

A few songs on this playlist are pretty much only there for one or two lines. This is not one of them. I could write another essay about this song and how it relates to Dean, every fucking line. You were high school, and I was just more like real life, and you were okay as a girlfriend, but I was just more like his wife 😮‍💨

• Old Number Seven - The Devil Makes Three

This is another song I'm pretty convinced was written about Dean. Once played it on guitar and my dad asked if it was about him so that's all the validation I needed. Angels start to look good to me, they're gonna have to deport me to the fiery deep.

• Mission - Alex G

This song to me is very much pre canon/season one Dean. It's all about following orders and being a good soldier, much like Dean's devotion to his father. I was trained to stick to the mission, I was trained, I kept it on track. To me, Mission has a slightly bitter tone, as though the narrator is resentful that they've followed orders so obediently and only suffered as a result.

• Adam Raised a Cain - Bruce Springsteen

Courtesy of catgirlhannibal. What a surprise, another biblical song. Dean sees himself as nothing more than a soldier, violent and aggressive. He sees his father as a hero, despite the fact that he's an abusive bastard. Well, daddy worked his whole life for nothing but pain, now he walks these empty rooms looking for something to blame.

• Shoulders - Big Thief

Okay, I'd argue this song is more akin to Sam than Dean but fuck you, this is my playlist and I choose the music. And the blood of the man who killed my mother with his hands, it's in me, it's in me, in my veins is obviously related to Sam and Azazel but also to Dean and John, as though Dean comes to realise that he's just like his father.

• Celene - Gigi Perez

End of season two! This song is about losing a sibling and is very much the mindset I pictured Dean to be in after losing Sam for the first time. I'd also argue it's how Dean felt when Sam was at Stanford. The other day I thought of something funny, but no one would have laughed but you.

• Like Real People Do - Hozier

Why were you digging? What did you bury before those hands pulled me from the earth? HELLOOO CASTIEL! Very season four Destiel, those boys will NOT kiss like real people do.

• It's Only Sex - Car Seat Headrest

Okay so post-resurrection Dean is VERRRRRY traumatised which makes it difficult for him to enjoy the things he used to love, including sex. This song is also about his struggle over his feelings for Cas: what happens if I don't like it? I like you.

• Not Allowed - TV Girl

Well, you may not like it but you better learn how cause it's your turn now! Very much following on from It's Only Sex, similar themes in this song but more relating to Dean's insistence on keeping up The Act and pretending he's the same man he was before Hell.

• Presumably Dead Arm - Sidney Gish

Second catgirlhannibal song to make the list. Just to start this off, this isn't the start of anything. To me, this whole song is Dean skirting around his feelings for Cas and trying to pretend they don't exist in hopes they go away eventually. They don't. Honey, you are nothing to me, (but alcohol and dopamine)/(I don't call people anything thought to be so sweet).

• Tangled in Ropes - Holy Locust

I literally wrote a whole essay about this one so I'll keep it short with just the best lyric. Had a laugh made of wax, house made of butter, how they melted that summer.

• Hate Yourself - TV Girl

If there's one thing we've learned about Dean Winchester, it's that the man loves to use sex as a means to avoid his problems. How long will it take? Before you start to hate yourself and go straight into the arms of someone else is just straight up Dean struggling to give himself time to grieve and overcome his trauma. He'd rather just hookup with someone else and pretend it doesn't make him hate himself more and more every time.

• Cherry Wine - Hozier

See: my whole essay about this song and Destiel. And it's worth it, it's divine, I have this some of the time.

• Body to Flame - Lucy Dacus

Another catgirlhannibal song! I see you holding your breath with your arms outstretched, waiting for someone to come rip open your chest. This song to me feels like Dean kicking himself for every trusting Cas, after Cas betrays him for the first time. To accept Cas as his family was going against his every instinct to close himself off from outsiders, and Cas just proved him right by betraying him.

• Motion Sickness - Phoebe Bridges

Okay this one is basically just for I hate you for what you did, and I miss you like a little kid lol. It just perfectly encapsulates Dean, bitter and resentful towards Cas whilst simultaneously missing him so much his heart aches.

• I'm Your Man - Mitski

Oh, woof. Continuing the betrayal arc, this song is all about Dean's guilt. It's his fault Cas fell from Heaven, his fault this angel isn't holy anymore. I'm sorry I'm the one you love, no one will ever love me like you again.

• Not Strong Enough - Boygenius

Where do I start? Always an angel, never a god 😮‍💨 I think if you played this song to Dean it would break him a little bit. I DON'T KNOW WHY I AM THE WAY I AM!!!

• Legit Tattoo Gun - The Front Bottoms

I was aware of this song but catgirlhannibal brought to my attention that it's Destiel coded 🧐 Who did I think I was? Who did I think that I could be? Oh, how dare me. Dean just kicking himself for ever thinking he could allow himself to have something with Cas.

• SHALLOW (PPL SWIM IN SHALLOW WATER) - Saya Gray

Okay, this one is a bit of a "hear me out." I'm seeing Mother Mary, she says I'm closer to Hell than the clouds are to Heaven. Dean's mother is called Mary so she's LITERALLY Mother Mary which scratches my brain very nicely. Obviously Dean sees himself as a sinner and doomed for Hell, despite the fact that he's a hero. And I left my enemies, cause nobody hates myself more than me, GOOD LORD DOES THAT MAN LOVE SOME SELF LOATHING. My mother's evil and the angels too is soooooo self explanatory. Dean has an idealistic version of Mary in his head which is challenged when she comes back to life and he interacts with her as an adult. There's also the fact that real angels aren't as "good" as you'd think. Sometimes I don't think I'm cherished enough.

• John Wayne Gacy, Jr. - Sufjan Stevens

This song is an allegory for being gay. The narrator sees himself as evil, just as bad as the serial killer for which the song is named, just because he's gay. And in my best behaviour, I am really just like him, look beneath the floorboards for the secrets I have hid.

• Always - Panic! At the Disco

Another one that is less obvious without me explaining it lol. The light in this song is a reference to the Great Gatsby which is a whole other queer coded story in its own right. But I always (hehe) picture this song as Dean struggling with Cas' feelings for him which are becoming more and more evident. It was always you falling for me particularly stands out to me, along with you are taking me apart like bad glue on a get well card.

• Star Tripping - Kevin Atwater

Okay I looooooove love this song. But it's another song which relates to God and being queer. It's about a very toxic relationship, in which one person is relatively okay with their sexuality and the other is incredibly repressed (seem familiar?). I could use any lyric from this song but I'll go with: you think He made you wrong, I think you're giving Him way too much credit, crying at the party, know it only bothers you if you let it, later you can kiss me, blame it on the stuff you took to forget it.

• The Calendar - Panic! At The Disco

Another Panic! song 💀 also from vices and virtues. Another "hear me out." There's the more obvious I will come back to life but only for you but I also think the rest of the song relates pretty strongly to Destiel. You said if you don't let it out, you're gonna let it eat you away, I'd rather be a cannibal baby, animals like me don't talk anyway. For me, it strongly resembles Dean's view of himself, an attack dog. Cannibalism as a metaphor for love. And obviously that man loves to repress stuff and let it eat him away, so to speak.

• Lacy - Olivia Rodrigo

Lawd. This song has a lot of queer subtext in and of itself. It's all about adoring someone to the point where you become insecure because you know you'll never be as good as them. The song is bitter and resentful whilst simultaneously loving and adoring. I despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you, yeah I despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you. He hates himself because he loves Cas. HE HATES HIMSELF BECAUSE HE LOVES CAS.

• Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want - The Smiths

Dean does not let himself have nice things. Lord knows, it would be the first time. This song feels pretty self explanatory to me lol.

• Feeling Oblivion - Turin Brakes

Okay this is my favourite song of all time so I'm slightly biased for including it HOWEVER. I feel it also applies to Dean pretty well. We're now at the point in the story where Dean is about to/has already lost Cas. This song invokes an incredibly deep feeling of nostalgia for me, like looking back on when things were better. Now it is night time, maybe we're cruising avoiding the anti-cruise, like tell me this isn't Dean and Cas just driving around Kansas cause Dean can't sleep 😭 and don't even get me fucking started on so don't leave me here on my own, by the time fear takes me over, will we still be rolling? Feeling oblivion cause this song makes me cry every time I hear it I stg.

• Who We Are - Hozier

Poor Dean :( bro has just lost his best friend, and is now realising that he'll never be able to tell him how he felt. It's like he's seeing things plainly for the first time, realising what he's been missing. He never had Cas because they spent so long avoiding their relationship, and now it's too late. You only feel it when it's lost, getting through still has its cost, quietly, it slips through your fingers, love, falling from you drop by drop.

• Crack Baby - Mitski

I don't know if I really need to say more than: crack baby, you don't know what you want, but you know that you had it once, and you know that you want it back.

• Knockin' on Heaven's Door - Bob Dylan

This is another song that's in the show (dark side of the moon, I love you) so naturally reminds me of Dean. It might be a bit on the nose putting it right at the end but it just feels like Dean finally letting himself rest (die of tetanus). Mama, put my guns in the ground, I can't shoot them anymore.

#supernatural #cw supernatural #spn #dean winchester #castiel #deancas #dean and cas #destiel #spotify playlist #character playlist #playlist

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boywifesammy · 1 year

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i think sam and dean’s relationship with sex in the early seasons is so interesting because it’s so vastly different yet both indicative of abuse.

dean sees his body as an object; a weapon, a tool. he has no say in his own life. he thinks he’s just alive to serve his purpose. he buzzes his hair military short and dresses just like his father to gain his approval, while john always treated dean as a means to an end. he was told to take care of sammy, and dragged along to hunts, and given orders like he was nothing but a robot. if sam got hurt, it was his fault. if he got hurt, he wasn’t fast enough. he’s taught to put himself in harms way constantly, that his body is worth nothing, that a few more scars mean nothing if he obeys his order. daddy’s blunt little instrument indeed.

dean is comfortable in his own body because he doesn’t place value on his own life. it’s why he’s so nonchalant about sex. he’s using his body to make himself feel good, and make others feel good, so he doesn’t see the problem. sam teases him about being a horndog but dean genuinely doesn’t care about what happens to him. it’s not just with sex. he constantly sacrifices himself, he’ll put himself in harms way instantly if it means saving someone he loves. he complains about his physical appearance but never once hesitates to disfigure it if it means someone else will be saved the misfortune.

sam, on the other hand, has a different understanding of his body. he doesn’t fit inside of it. his entire life, he’s been the odd one out, the wrong one, the one who just couldn’t conform. he fights with his father about hunting. he has demon blood in him. he’s lucifer’s vessel. he’s an abomination, he’s damned, his very flesh and blood is something rotten. he doesn’t see any purpose in his existence so he tries to find value in his body, because he doesn’t think there’s anything of value in his soul.

this isn’t even mentioning sam’s past with manipulation. both dean and john most definitely manipulated sam in the past, even if it was from a place of good will to keep him safe. john lied about mary’s deal his entire life. dean keeps plenty of secrets, like the demon deal and john’s last words, under the guise that it would hurt sam. sam’s entire life was a lie, all a buildup to the apocalypse. the first woman he ever loved died on the ceiling just like his mother, and he was convinced it was his fault both times. sam has been taught that he hurts everyone he loves. that’s he’s intrinsically dangerous and he curses the people close to him to suffering, or death, or worse.

sam has a difficult relationship with sex because he’s scared. scared to trust someone with something so intimate and scared that he’ll infect them with whatever awful thing is inside of him. this is why ruby’s arc is so heartbreaking. dean can immediately recognize that sam is being taken advantage of. he has a very black and white understanding of who is good and trustworthy vs who is evil and a monster. sam, on the other hand, knows that it isn’t so cut and dry. he still loves dean, even though he isn’t always the best to him. he still cares for his dad, even if he wants sam dead. he still wants to believe in a higher power, even though he’s cursed. so of course sam trusted ruby. he’s an abuse victim. he’s vulnerable. he was at his wits end, and ruby took that to her advantage. she victim blamed him. gaslit him. took advantage of his need for emotional intimacy and sexually assaulted him.

dean can’t understand sam’s aversion to sex because he sees it as a purely materialistic thing, and his body a mere object. his relationship with romance is so horribly warped. dean doesn’t care about being taken advantage of, because his whole life his father’s taken advantage of his obedience. he’s just a means to end. it doesn’t matter what happens to his body, because he doesn’t matter anyway.

sam can’t understand dean’s hypersexuality because he’s hyperfixated on having control of himself. he desperately wants to regain some sense of ownership of his body. he hates intimacy because it opens him up to vulnerability. to him, his body is diseased, and it’s a danger to anyone who he’s intimate with.

dean sees sex as self-hating pleasure, a way to be useful. sam sees sex as self-hating punishment. in a certain way, they’re more similar than the show makes them out to be.

#oc #sam winchester #dean winchester #john winchester #spn meta #spn #supernatural #essay #tw sa mention #this got so long #it was originally just about sam’s aversion to sex but i think dean’s obsession with it is just as telling.#part of it was the way they grew up #dean was forced to be strong and take it like a man #sam was allowed to be vulnerable but was constantly shamed for being diferent #idk. idk man. just more deranged ramblings.

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thegettingbyp2 · 2 years

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I have a request for Dean Winchester where the reader is really mad at someone and he has to hold her back so she doesn’t hurt anyone. It’s vague but I love the idea of reader being a badass.

Short Fuse

It wasn’t a secret to anyone that you had quite a short fuse; if anyone annoyed you or hurt someone you loved, you were the first person to confront them about it. So, when you met the Winchester brothers, it wasn’t long before they learnt about this trait of yours. Sam would always try to hold you back whereas Dean found it hilarious and would sometimes even encourage you, much to Sam’s annoyance. Usually when you would get mad at someone, you would have your moment and you would leave relatively unscathed. However, it wasn’t every time that the subject of your anger was Lucifer himself.

You had been through a lot of crap the past couple of weeks; you had lost Cas and you were still trying to convince Dean that you could trust Jack so it was safe to say that tensions were running high all around lately. So, Lucifer turning up on top of all that was the last thing that you all wanted.

‘Come on, guys, I just want to meet the little guy. He’s my son after all,’ Lucifer whined as he stood in the control room of the bunker, Sam and Dean acting as barriers between him and Jack.

‘What the hell is he doing here?’ you said, already starting to sound annoyed as you rounded the corner and saw the stand-off. You made your way down the couple of steps until you were on the same level as the boys, stopping next to Jack and putting a comforting hand on his shoulder, Jack’s hand coming to rest on top of yours.

‘Oh, look who’s decided to join us. The tail of the group,’ Lucifer said, unimpressed. You felt your blood begin to boil underneath your skin at his words and the only thing that stopped you from launching across the room at him was Jack’s hand on yours.

‘He thinks he can come in here and take Jack,’ Sam said, filling you in. You looked over at Dean whose eyes were glued to Lucifer, not moving his gaze for a second.

‘I didn’t actually say take, that would be a bit too much effort. I’m all for the arrangement where I come and talk to him whenever I want, you know, show him the ropes and in return, you guys, just let me.’

‘We’re not letting him go anywhere near you. He has the chance to actually be a good guy so there’s no way we’re letting anything get in the way of that’ Dean replied straight away. It surprised you when you heard Dean defend Jack straight away when he still wasn’t completely sold on the kid.

‘I’m his father, it’s my right to know my son!’

‘Cas is his/my father,’ you and Jack said at the same time, overlapping each other.

‘Castiel? Seriously? The guy who was stupid enough to get himself killed on the day Jack was born all because he wanted to protect a bunch of humans,’ Lucifer said distastefully. As soon as you heard him speak ill of Cas, you couldn’t help yourself as you flew across the room, fully prepared to lay a hit on Lucifer, who was grinning at the knowledge that he was able to get you so angry, his eyes glowing bright red, prepared to inflict some damage himself.

Before you were able to reach Lucifer, you felt Dean’s arms wrap around your waist and chest as he held you back, knowing that it wouldn’t end well if you got within arm’s reach of Lucifer.

‘Looks like you’ve got a guard dog there,’ Lucifer said casually, loving the fact he was had made you so mad.

‘Dean. Let me go,’ you said, struggling to get out of his grip but getting absolutely nowhere, instead, only being pulled closer into his chest.

‘(Y/N), come on, you know you can’t. He’d kill you and you know it,’ Dean murmured into your ear, his words coming out in stages as he was putting all this strength into holding you back.

‘You heard what he said about Cas, he can’t just get away with it,’ you said helplessly as you still struggled but felt yourself quickly tiring out.

‘He won’t sweetheart,’ Dean said close to your ear as he felt you calming down slightly. You saw Jack walk around Dean’s front, standing in between you and Lucifer which made Sam step closer to Jack, shielding him.

‘(Y/N), we’re going to bring Cas back. I know we are so it doesn’t matter what he says because we’re going to get him back,’ Jack said and the amount of hope that you heard in his voice made you give up fighting Dean’s hold as you let yourself go limp in his arms.

‘So, I’ll let you guys handle that, and I’ll come by to pick Jack up in the week?’ Lucifer piped in before leaning around Sam to look at you. ‘I’ll see you around, (Y/N),’ he said with a wink before he clicked his fingers and disappeared. As soon as he was gone, Dean’s grip left your body and you stumbled forward slightly, managing to catch yourself before you hit the floor.

‘You okay? You calmed down?’ Dean asked, staring at you.

‘I’m fine.’

‘Sweetheart, I am all for letting you take care of yourself, you know that. But not when it comes to the friggin Devil,’ Dean said, trying his best to sound stern but failing when he burst into laughter, everyone else quickly following suit.

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester imagine #supernatural

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eisforeidolon · 9 months

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OMG, when manipulating people, Lucifer appears to people as their romantic partners, episode 15x19 is PROOF of D/C!!!!

Except Lucifer didn't only appear as love interests or only use love interests to manipulate people. Although we didn't know who was doing the manipulating at the time, he appears to Sam as John in episode 11x04, to further convince him the dream visions he's getting should be followed. We see him manipulating Rooney in episode 12x08, and he is using Rooney's religio-political aspirations as his hook, not a person at all - let alone a dead love interest. We also know he manipulated plenty of vessels offscreen by unknown means - I doubt the Archbishop of Saint Louis was pining for an old lover. Furthermore, I'd posit that Sam knows Lucifer better than anybody but God and Michael by 7x02 post-Cage. So if Lucifer really did only appear as love interests? Hallucifer appearing to Sam as Dean in that episode would be "proof" of wincest.

So there were non-love interest manipulations and manipulations we didn't see onscreen that probably weren't centered on romantic partners. Which is enough to put holes in the theory alone, because its entire substance is just Lucifer appearing to someone = dead love interest. But why stop there? Let's talk about the context of the ones that are supposedly clues Castiel has to be a dead love interest, just because Lucifer did appear that way a few times.

Nick was obsessed with his wife and son's murder, and Lucifer's first salvo was causing Nick to hallucinate a baby's cry and a flood of blood from the empty crib before appearing as Nick's wife, who (unlike the son) could actually talk enough to make a specific bargain. Murders that we find out later were committed by *gasp* demons on Lucifer's orders to make said potential vessel desperate and vulnerable. The hallucinations Lucifer gave him pointedly included allusions to his dead son as well as his dead wife, so it clearly wasn't just about a romantic connection. It was his current weak spot, he was broken because his family were murdered.

When Lucifer goes to Sam in 5x03, Sam is trying to just sit the apocalypse out and live a normal life, hoping that will work to prevent anyone else getting hurt. Just like he thought he could sit the hunt for the demon out at Stanford. Even if Jess had just been his buddy, the girl who fucking died the last time he tried to live a normal life would still be exactly the right metaphorical knife to the ribs in that situation where Lucifer wants to imply that people can't change and there's no reason to hope the world won't end. Even Dean isn't a better choice there when the parallel of Sam getting normal people hurt by existing in their vicinity is so obvious. It was his current weak spot, putting innocents in danger.

Vince Vincente is depressed at least partially because his ex-girlfriend committed suicide after he treated her like crap and therefore blames himself for her death in 12x02. He does say in the moment that all he wants is her back - but actually, we learn an episode later that part of the deal he made with Lucifer was to heal his paralyzed sister because Lucifer sure as hell didn't do that out of the goodness of his heart. So again, even though it did involve a dead girlfriend, that wasn't remotely the only vulnerability Lucifer exploited, just the one that fits their theory. It was his current weak spot(s), the women in his life that he failed/couldn't help himself.

In each case, Lucifer is just using the best weapons he can bring to bear on the weak spots of vulnerable people, y'know, how a manipulator operates. That they involve romantic partners isn't actually the main reason for their use, and again, isn't his only shown tool of manipulation.

So Lucifer doesn't only use romantic partners to manipulate people, but even when he does it is about what the target's current vulnerability is that he can exploit to get what he wants. Which brings us finally to talk about that scene where he tricks the Winchesters with Castiel's voice in the penultimate episode. He needs to get into the bunker to use the Winchesters to trick the reaper to make sure he has the right death book. Sam and Dean are both inside. Most of their dead allies have been dead for a while so the shock and trauma has worn off/been buried - or they are alive enough to take a phone call and say no, they aren't at the bunker's door, actually (if Lucifer even knows enough to know who they are). But Castiel? The trenchcoated angel just carked it again a hot minute ago and wouldn't be able to get through the wards, making him the perfect tool for the job. It literally wouldn't matter if it was Dean or Sam, he's the entity in that moment they'd be least surprised to see resurrected and would open the door for, which is what Lucifer needs. No twue lurve necessary.

This is not the literal stupidest meta they've ever tried to pass off as valid. But yet again, it falls on its face if you actually examine it as a premise. Because they don't remember enough of the canon to know their theory is actively contradicted by other examples they forgot. Because they very pointedly pick and choose what context counts as important. Because they refuse to see other logical interpretations which are very obviously right there. Ultimately and fundamentally? Because they start from the premise that D/C has to be totes real and actively ignore everything and anything that doesn't lead to that conclusion - which is pretty much the entire canon, once you put their "proof" back in its original context and remove the distorted shipper goggles.

#bad meta #destihellers #destiew #mention of wincest #long post #lucifer

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rottencaniness · 6 months

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// no doubt //

— for Angel, @spnyuri —

rating: mature || word count: 1k+ || ao3 link

tags: sam/ruby, season 4, demon blood addict sam, boy king of hell sam, minor character death/brief description of injury/death, angry sam

It's not that Ruby had planned on killing Dean, really she hadn't, but then he came at her with a knife and suddenly his neck was snapped per her demon powers. There's a recognized thought in the back of her mind that Sam is going to be pissed, upset, he's going to grieve all over again and it'll be hell all over again.

It's been a full year since Ruby showed up at Sam's motel room door with a hug about his dead brother and plan to get him to become just as powerful as he should be. Things have been working out marvelously- or they were- until some stupid Angel dragged Dean back up from hell and decided to throw a huge wrench in her plans, she has a mental note to kill him at some point. Sam's been drinking the demon blood to learn how to save more people, the nativity, but he's been doing what Ruby says so it's fine.

Only now she has his dead brother's body at her feet and about fifteen minutes to prepare for when Sam comes back from grabbing dinner for them all. She's been playing nice with Dean for Sam's sake. It hasn't been as hard as she assumed it'd be but it definitely hasn't been easy, she only wants Sam, she likes every little thing about him and could care less about what Dean does. He's also been severely blocking the more romantic part of Sam and Ruby's dynamic, Sam hasn't kissed her once in front of him, something she never thought she'd miss but longs for in a too desperate manner. She's a demon and shouldn't be this attached to a relationship with a human, but, this human is Sam Winchester soon-to-be-boy-king-of-hell, so she allows herself some grace.

She hefts Dean's body upwards and leans him back against the end of one of the motel beds, grimacing at how cold he's already become and the rather jarring dead person eyes staring back at her. How the fuck is she going to explain this? Get out of this? The knife Dean had tried to kill her with gets quickly kicked under the bed when she hears the rumble of the Impala pull into the parking lot, she does not need Sam trying to finish what Dean started.

"Sam! Sam, something's wrong with Dean!" The door gets thrown open and she yells out in the most frantic manner she can muster, she'll just lie her way out of this. Neither boy has ever been brought back to life before, she might be able to convince Sam that this was inevitable, as if Dean had a time limit to being alive again. His body isn't mangled and his head is still upright so it shouldn't be too hard to pull off.

"What happened?!" The bags of fast food get dropped onto the table in seconds as Sam's knees slam into the floor so he can be at his brother's level. His hands check Dean's pulse, going wide eyed when there isn't one, and he moves to push Dean to his back on the floor before starting compressions. They won't do anything.

"I- I don't know! He was fine and talking and then he just collapsed!" A pained noise leaves the back of Sam's throat and the compressions he's doing become slower, he obviously knows that he can't bring Dean back this time.

"Sam..." Ruby trails off with a hand on the center of Sam's back, a small frown on her lips when he turns to look at her with glossy eyes. No matter how demon she is and how much she follows Lucifer, she still feels certain things, maybe not how a human does or how she should, but it hurts to see Sam like this. It makes her want to beg for him to let Lucifer take over, that he'd fix Sam's problems and give him so much more.

"I- I thought I had him back for good." Fuck he looks so broken it almost makes Ruby want to revive Dean herself, almost.

"Did the Angel he was talking to say anything about a time limit on being back?" Not that that's how resurrection really works but Sam doesn't know that.

"No." A sudden surge of anger covers Sam's words, he stands abruptly and turns to Ruby, not showing half the sadness she was expecting and instead looking rather pissed off. It might be the demon blood coursing through him, she can tell he took a swig when he was picking up their food, or it might just be Sam finally getting angry the way she wants him to. If he thinks the Angel did this, he'll want revenge. A Winchester always wants revenge.

"What's going through your head Sam? Talk to me." One of her hands reaches to brush through Sam's hair, it's greasy from the running around they all did today, but she still thinks it's perfect. The brown locks were sculpted for Lucifer since his birth, he's made in Lucifer's image, there's not a single flaw about him. At least not one that can't be changed, Dean's gone and that eliminates half of the problems she was having with getting Sam to agree to Lucifer's request.

"I want Lilith dead, and I want Castiel back in heaven. It might've been God's orders to bring Dean back but to rip him away again is cruel, I don't care who said it was okay. God or Angel or whoever- they can't just take him away from me." There's rage practically dripping off of every word leaving Sam's mouth, Ruby loves it. Anger will get him to Lucifer, will get him to open that last gate, will get her recognized as the demon that got Lucifer his vessel. Both of them will be living highly and hell's rules will change with Sam's leading.

"You're almost strong enough to kill Lilith, I promise." Mere inches it seems.

"What can I do to make myself stronger faster?" A grin breaks across Ruby's face, while she's been trying to pace Sam on the demon blood so it works correctly, he's been on the stuff for so long she's sure she can up the dosage. It should be easy to retrieve considering his powers too.

"Drink more, then we kill Lilith, then deal with Castiel." Break Lucifer out of hell and take his place as Lucifer's vessel is in there too, Sam just doesn't know it yet.

"Let's go get more blood now." Impatient and angry, perfection. He doesn’t even look back at Dean's body, there's no doubt in Ruby's mind that Sam will let Lucifer in now.

#sam writes #moodboard #my fic #samruby #ruby (supernatural)#sam winchester #demon blood sam #boy king of hell sam winchester #🔪 folder

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quietwings-fics · 7 months

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ask and ye shall receive

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: N/A Fandom: Supernatural Ship: Gen (Jo & Sam, Lucifer & Sam) Additional Tags: Minor Lucifer/Sam Winchester, Hellhounds, Jo Harvelle Lives, Angel Healing, Episode: s05e10 Abandon All Hope… (Supernatural), Blood and Injury, Guilt, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Character Death Wordcount: 1866 Summary:

Sam is going to save Jo’s life, whatever the cost.

It’s watching Jo bleed out that forces Sam to make his decision. Surrounded by the makeshift bombs they’re creating, with hellhounds growling at the doors, and it’s Sam’s fault, like everything is. Sam’s fault and Sam’s to fix, whatever cost comes with that, because he can’t let Jo die. He watches the way she smiles weakly for Ellen before her mother turns, and her expression crumples in on itself.

“I think we should make more of these,” he hears himself say. Dean looks up. There’s a hard wall behind his brother’s eyes, the kind he knows Dean can’t allow to fall before they put a bullet in the devil’s head, no matter what happens now. If he stops moving, he won’t be able to start again. Sam swallows. “There’s more stuff in the back.”

“Sam-”

“Please,” Sam begs, and he knows too well how to pull a little pity from Dean, “I just want a minute with her.” Dean stares him down, and Sam adds, “I have to apologize.”

It hurts that that’s what makes Dean back down. Sam’s goodbyes aren’t worth some privacy but his atonement is.

Whatever gets him where he needs to be, he tells himself. He can hear the muffled footfalls of the dogs outside. They don’t bark whenever he gets too close to the door the way they do for Dean or Ellen.

And he’s hoping, has to hope, that there’s even a sliver of truth to the devil’s promises.

“Okay,” Dean says. He reaches out like he’s going to pat Sam on the shoulder as he passes, but his hand never connects and Sam pretends he didn’t lean towards the touch, shaking himself and only watching Dean for as long as it takes him to convince Ellen to come with him. Sam can’t watch her leave. If this goes wrong-

“Hey, Sam,” Jo says as he kneels down next to her. He can smell her death in the air, stalking her on jagged claws and burning with salt and gasoline. His hands shake as he checks what little they have bandaged up. He needs to know it’ll hold. “Sam,” she says again, “don’t ignore me. I only get so many last words.” Sam grits his teeth hard and squeezes his eyes shut. “Sam?”

“I’m not going to let you die,” he tells her. Jo tips her head. There’s blood in her hair, in her clothes, on Sam’s hands for touching her.

“Not sure that’s an option,” she says. She sounds scared. She’s hiding it well, but even if the only deaths Sam has known have been easy ones, quick ones, he still remembers the fear, even if it only came bubbling up in his chest in the aftermath like scars for a wound he didn’t realize he had.

She sees something in his eyes. He hopes it isn’t determination or love — all those have ever done is damn him further — but guilt, he could live with her seeing. Guilt won’t hurt anyone but himself, he hopes.

“Trust me,” he says. He puts one arm under her back, the other under her legs. Her jeans are warm and wet with her own blood. Jo grunts in pain. She grabs at his shoulder, but her fingers barely have enough strength to grip it.

“Stop it,” she says. Sam can’t. He heaves her up. She’s heavier than she looks, compact muscle weighing her down. “Sam, stop!” He’s hurting her, and all he can do is look away and towards the door. “Mom!” Jo screams. It isn’t as loud as Sam knows she can be, and all he can feel is the blood soaking into his own clothes.

When they come out, and Sam’s at the door with Jo bleeding out in his arms, Ellen has a gun pointed at his head. She won’t shoot, not for him, but because he’d drop Jo if she did. He tries to apologize, but the words stick in his throat. They won’t be enough. The only thing of worth he can offer is fixing this mess he’s made.

“Sam, come back here,” Dean orders.

Sam leaves.

It’s cold in Carthage. The wind stings his face. He tries to tuck Jo closer as he feels her start to shiver, blood loss and fear wracking her body. She can’t even fight him, and she must hate that. Sam wonders if she’ll forgive him for this, but it won’t matter. All he wants is for her to live.

He hears the howl of the hellhounds as the close in. He tries to count their footsteps, but there’s too many. He can see Dean being torn apart right in front of his eyes and if he’s wrong, if he brought Jo out here just to feed her to these things, he-

There’s the nudge of a large, warm body against his leg. It snuffles at him and growls softly. Sam can’t breathe.

Very gently, teeth close around the loose edge of his jeans and tug him forward. The message is clear when he resists and the growls get louder. He’s going with them.

“You have to take me to Lucifer,” he tells the hellhounds as they pad around him, almost forming a protective barrier, one that would keep anything else away and him from leaving. He’s not sure they understand a word he’s saying. One of them touches its warm nose to his elbow, too close to Jo for comfort, and he wrenches away from it. Jo whimpers from the sudden movement. She’s too pale and too quiet. Sam picks up his pace.

The hellhounds race alongside him, proclaiming his journey with howls that sound far more joyful than the ones that came when they hunted damned souls. That did nothing to stop Sam’s skin from crawling with every reminder that they were there, just out of sight, and that they ripped Jo open like tissue paper.

Her eyes were shut now. She was still breathing.

The hellhounds guide him down the streets towards the sickening stench of corpses. It’s filling the air now, an unmistakable answer to where everyone in Carthage has gone. This was a bad idea. What’s Lucifer going to care about one more dead human? Sam’s practically giftwrapping himself for him. The hellhounds won’t let him turn back, and even if he could, he wouldn’t make it back to Ellen and Dean with Jo still alive. There was only one way: forward, to the mass grave.

Lucifer is humming to himself. It paints the whole scene with absurd horror: the demons that part to make an aisle for Sam to walk down, the way Lucifer shovels away the dirt himself, the smell of the bodies just beyond and hidden from Sam’s view. Hellhounds run past Sam to their master, barking at Lucifer, scuffing paw marks in the dirt as they surround him. Lucifer drops the shovel just to pet them, ruffling invisible fur and cooing at the same monsters that killed Dean once and would kill Jo, too, if this didn’t work.

And then Lucifer looks up at him. He smiles. Sam waits for his stomach to plummet in anger, disgust, fear, but it doesn’t. He feels good seeing Lucifer smile. He wants more.

It only lasts a moment, long enough for Lucifer to start saying, “Sam! I thought you would-” He stops, tilting his head. “Who’s that?”

Sam swallows.

“Did you find her on the street?” Lucifer sounds disgusted, but then he turns that on his demons, scolding them with a scorching fury he hasn’t let Sam see before. “I asked you for death, not torture! Who-”

“She was with me,” Sam interrupts. Lucifer stops immediately to let him speak, and the anger in his eyes vanishes the moment he looks at Sam again.

“Oh,” he says, “Sam, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I thought you only brought Dean and my little brother.” Lucifer steps down from the hill he was shoveling on. Sam, instinctively, takes a step back, but the open aisle of before has closed behind him, trapping him here with Lucifer. When Lucifer approaches, Sam can see the burns trailing down his face and peeling on his hands. “I did tell you,” Lucifer says, his voice growing softer as he gets closer, as though he wants only Sam to hear him now. Sam wants to pull Jo away from him, as ridiculous as that notion is when there’s nowhere to go. “Nick is hardier than I thought, but still, he’s not you,” Lucifer murmurs. His gaze drops once to survey all of Sam, in the same space for the first time and relishing it.

“Is that what you want?” Sam says. “You heal her, and I-” Lucifer blinks. He steps closer, peering down at Jo, and then back at Sam. He lifts a hand to Sam’s face, only to have him flinch back from it. Lucifer looks surprised at that, and Sam can’t understand why as his hand lingers in the air, out-stretched, waiting, before Lucifer draws it back under the fold of his arms where Sam can’t see it anymore.

“I won’t play games like that,” Lucifer tells him. “If you want me to heal her, all you have to do is ask.”

Jo’s shallow breaths echo in Sam’s ears. Lucifer waits, patiently, as though anything else he has to do tonight can be put on hold for as long as Sam needs.

“Please,” Sam begs, “she doesn’t deserve to die because of me.” Lucifer rests a hand on Jo’s stomach, and Sam sucks in a breath. He’s too close. He can feel Lucifer’s grace flooding the air, spreading from his fingers into Jo’s wounds, brushing Sam’s skin as it moves around them. Sam’s senses fill with Lucifer, and it’s suddenly the hardest thing he’s ever done to stop himself from saying yes immediately. He can feel the word behind his teeth, bashing forward like it can break free of his mouth and meet the archangel he’s made for.

A knot of burned flesh peels on Lucifer’s jaw as he focuses. He doesn’t even seem to notice his vessel collapsing around him. Sam can’t do anything but notice, and know, intimately, how well Lucifer would slide under his skin and belong there.

“There we go,” Lucifer says. Jo breathes in deeply. Her eyes open for a moment, but Lucifer shuts them again and when he pulls his hand back, Jo stays asleep in Sam’s arms. She still smells like blood, but it will dry now.

“And now I set you free,” Lucifer says, “because I know you’ll come back.” He pauses, gazing at Sam with so much affectionate that it makes Sam’s stomach turn worse than the rot in the air. Sam can hear the shuffling of footsteps behind him. He can’t take his eyes off of Lucifer. He steps back. Lucifer watches him go, surrounded by demons in dead bodies and obedient hellhounds at his feet. “I’ll give you anything, Sam,” Lucifer calls after him. “You just have to ask.”

And with Jo alive in his arms, Sam flees and hopes that when he makes it back to Dean and Ellen, they won’t shoot him dead the moment he’s in range.

(Enjoyed it? Any interaction is welcomed. You can even support me on Ko-Fi <3)

#whumptober 2023 #whumptober #fanfiction #1001-5000 #teen and up audiences #spn #genfic #jo & sam #lucifer & sam #sam winchester #jo harvelle #lucifer spn #fix-it #hurt!jo #blood #whump #au

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destieltropecollection · 4 days

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Destiel Trope Collection 2024 | Day 29: Murder Husbands

Telegram On Outlaw Frequency | @melancholictearz Rating: Mature Word Count: 9,410 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon-Typical Violence, AU - Western, Bandits & Outlaws, Train Robbery, Outlaws!DeanCas, Partners in Crime, BAMF!Castiel, Established Relationship, Revenge Summary: LOVE IN THE DESERT COMES WITH A PRICE: BLOOD. October 3rd, 1898— in the Wild West. Dean Winchester, wanted outlaw, receives a telegram from his partner in crime, Castiel. The usual train robbery routine turns into a bloodbath when trouble settles in his sweetheart’s meticulous plan. And Castiel caves in to the urge of burning the world down for his lover.

This Tainted Love You've Given | @lazarus-rose Rating: Explicit Word Count: 17,100 Main Tags/Warnings: Serial killer Dean, witch Castiel, graphic depictions of violence, temporary character death, mentioned animal murder, torture, blood and violence, switch Castiel/Dean, Summary: Everyone has their hobbies—Dean’s just happens to involve a lot more blood and screaming than most people’s. And sure, maybe murder isn’t the nicest way to blow off steam, but Dean’s always thought that being nice is overrated anyway. His latest victim, a pretty guy with startling blue eyes, should be nothing special, just another nameless body on Dean’s list. But then, after Dean kills and buries him, he turns back up at Dean’s house again the next day. What’s a guy to do when they’ve accidentally gotten an immortal witch convinced that they’ve got some kind of profound bond?

What Have You Done... | @Taymarpigeon Rating: Explicit Word Count: 24,742 Main Tags/Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Hurt and/or Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Alternate Universe - Human, Serial Killer Dean Winchester, Psychological Drama, Criminal Dean Winchester, Prison, Gallows Humor, Angst, Dialogue Heavy, Touch-Starved Dean Winchester, Homophobic Language, No Sam Winchester, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut Summary: They say there is someone out there for everyone, that only time, tide and distance keep most apart from their intended. It's a beautiful sentiment but there is too much of the analyst and cynic in Jimmy to believe it. Besides, people are vapid, vain and self-important, all things he finds too irritating to ever consider spending more time with them than it takes to get his leg over. Of course, there's an exception to every rule, perhaps serial killer Dean 'The Devil's Tongue' Winchester is his. The real question becomes: will the ever-present shadow of his missing brother Castiel be the stone that brings the whole house down?

Like Ivy | @abi-cosmos Rating: Explicit Word Count: 50,160 Main Tags/Warnings: Roommates, Serial killer Dean Winchester, Smoker Dean Winchester, Major Character Death (Sam Winchester), Unreliable narrator, Angst, Hallucinations, Professor Castiel, Minor Dean Winchester/Victor Henriksen, Jealousy, Non-con elements, Explicit sexual content, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Strangers to lovers, Hurt/Comfort Summary: Dean Winchester was raised to be a killer, but after losing his brother Sam, he could do with a chance to lay low and rest up. Luckily, a 'roommate wanted' advertisement stuck to the window of a coffee shop leads him to Castiel, a professor at a local college who offers him three weeks' accommodation. At first, Castiel gets under Dean's skin, but they soon develop a friendship within the isolated house they're living in. Despite how haunted he is by his past, or how Castiel seems able to read his mind, Dean feels drawn to him and can't help but take things further. But Dean isn't the only one with secrets, and the line between friendship, love, and obsession gets bloody and blurry.

#destiel trope collection #destiel trope collection 2024 #destiel #fanfic #supernatural #murder husbands

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scripted-downfall · 1 year

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Sam Winchester: True Neutral

I've realized, while answering an ask, that a lot of Sam's problems stem from the fact that he is, at root, true neutral. In other words, he’s mostly pretty ambivalent about whether he breaks the rules or not, and he’s not really “good” or “bad” either.

The problems stem from the fact that he wants to be either lawful good or neutral good (depending on where we are in the series). His morals push him to try for “good” territory — 90% of his lines are “we should” or “we shouldn’t”, for example (slight exaggeration, but only slight) — but he is, at root, very apathetic. It’s why he swings so wildly between personalities (such as the wide oscillation between his save-Dean mission in s3 and his screw-Dean-(figuratively)-because-I-wanna-screw-Ruby-(literally)-and-drink-demon-blood mentality in s4); he doesn’t really have that innate code he wants/pretends to have.

Instead, he wants to have that code because he’s so bothered by the possibility that he’s evil that he overcorrects without the right motivation. He’s doing good because he wants to be good, but figuring out what actually is good in order to do it is hard for him. He sees “Oh, Lilith = bad, so killing Lilith = good, so I’m being good right now” and doesn’t realize that what he’s doing to fulfill that goal (drinking demon blood, hurting innocents, manipulating/beating up his brother) is not good. And it’s part of why the scene where Dean calls him a monster is so devastating for him. He wanted to be good; he thought he was being good; he wasn’t being good. These three thoughts are in opposition to his chosen path.

This is also why he’s good on the stuff that’s pretty easy to put into big generalizations (and also tend to be ways of convincing himself that he's not bad) — x creature isn’t evil just because it’s an x; don’t hurt innocents; we can’t take out y until we’re certain there’s no other choice — and also why he can’t see that, on a day-to-day basis (e.g. interacting with his brother, etc.) he’s not that good a person. The former concepts are easy to repeat like a mantra; the latter are the more subtle elements of goodness.

And this also speaks to his actions when he loses his soul.

He finally embraces his true neutral (tending, in that particular season, towards chaotic neutral) personality. He doesn’t care about tact or emotion, is perfectly willing to embrace random violence, and views most of the population as a means to his end. He doesn’t have the moral shame normal!Sam has about this, largely because he doesn’t care about being “good” anymore. When he’s soulless, he just wants what he wants — what’s best for him — and does not give a shit about how he accomplishes it. Thus, there’s no shame. He has no agenda — other than self-interest — so he isn’t contravening that agenda the way normal!Sam contravenes his own agenda to “be good” if he does anything that’s not good, so there’s not really a need to feel bad. He’s got his values — wants to be a strong/effective hunter, though I will add that it’s less about “saving people” and more about “hunting things”, etc — but the moral side of things is gone.

So, in short; Sam is trying to be good without knowing how --- kinda like the story of the five blind men trying to figure out what the elephant is without being able to see the whole picture; Sam's hunting around in a metaphorical darkness for "good", and only correctly identifying it part of the time --- and that causes a lot of strife (with himself and with other people) across the series.

(This post is dedicated to season 11 anon for the inspiration :) This is part 1 of my response to your first ask… I really appreciate the interaction!)

#supernatural #anti sam #anti sam winchester #look y'all know me by now #is this fully anti? no #but i don't feel like dealing with the asshole stans who will attack me for this #so... if you're a sam/jared stan gtfo #:)

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fandom-susceptible · 6 months

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Supernatural Rewatch S1E6 Skin

Is the color balancing this bad for the whole series or is it just the site I'm watching it on? Everything's so washed out.

*wheezing* oh my god I forgot Sam being like "oh I'm an innocent college student just like you but Dean's totally a cop" to convince his friend Becky they could help. Like these two really just spout off the most insane stories about each other to strangers and the other one just rolls with it.

It hurts me watching Sam try so hard to maintain friendships outside of hunting and Dean be convinced he shouldn't. Because Dean couldn't.

The random leanings into animals being aware of the paranormal is kinda hilarious in this show with it being so inconsistent. Like right here, this one dog's aware of Shit Going Down with the murder. But this only comes up at random intervals.

"That's not like any camera flare I've ever seen" Sam says. Have you looked at much video, Sammy? It's. This is random eye shine.

Okay but fr what ARE they doing there at 5:30 in the morning? Also, can Sam stop bitch facing for two seconds and answer the question instead of dragging everything out?

What made them think the ambulance going by had anything to do with their case?? This is in a city. Ambulances go by all the time, unfortunately, for good reasons and bad.

Why do these two keep having conversations about their cases in broad daylight in public? It's a wonder they weren't caught more often than they were. Or were the cops just over there like "yk what we don't get paid to go after the crazies that we don't have a current crime connected to." Also why didn't they get in worlds of trouble opening a manhole cover, again in broad daylight on a busy city street right next to a crime scene?

Can Sam quit bitching and just acknowledge that Dean's right about the lying to his friends bit and how bad it can go?

Sam can't see shit apparently, and also can't aim.

Again, these two should be in worlds of trouble for fucking around with manholes in busy public areas.

Sam walking around trying real hard not to tip anybody off, meanwhile Dean just runs down the street with a gun in hand. How many times has he been arrested?

Ok props to Sam for calling the shapeshifter on his shit so quickly, but also be a little more decisive bro this is how we end up in shitty situations.

Jensen's acting is phenomenal. I also think it's interesting how the shapeshifter (from Dean's POV, speaking from Dean's memories) says "I know I'm a freak." The stress pattern there on just the first "I", as if it isn't that Sam's actually different - it's that Sam doesn't know, refuses to know, that he's also a freak. And it's that ignorance that lets him have that shot at a normal life, it's that ignorance that Dean's jealous of. Then we get into Dean's abandonment issues, straight into the deep end, the shapeshifter pretty much confirming that Dean's sluttiness is a substitute for the real connection he wants but isn't getting from anybody.

What the hell was the yell back there when she screamed, Jensen? It wasn't even like, a Menacing Roar noise, he just fuckin yelled the same way lmao, it's so funny

why is the makeup identical on every woman the shapeshifter's attacked this episode. I could swear every single one has had the bandage wrapped around the head, bruising on the cheeks, three lines of blood dripping down the right shoulder, hair caked in the same spot . . .

I remember the shapeshifting scene really hitting me in the creepy feelings the first time I watched this but this time I was just fascinated by how much Jensen's changed over the years. He packed on so much more muscle over the next four years alone.

They really just like tying these men up don't they? And Dean is so much more relaxed about it than Sam is, and there's so many fun headcanons you could pack into that. Is it angst? Was he just trained to it? Or does he just Like It?

"Did Jessica know?" "No, she didn't." Yeah, because you weren't. doing it then. Sam. "What can I do, it's my family" you're literally only back because you've got it out for Jessica's killer, it's still about you, mfer. Why do you try to pretend it's for Dean?

Do they ever go back to St. Louis? I could swear they do. Shouldn't it come up more that Dean's wanted for murder there? They had the one season where the FBI were hot on their tails but then the angels started getting involved and we suddenly got a whole lot less of the consequences of the boys' actions.

#supernatural #supernatural rewatch #spn #dean winchester #sam winchester #spn s1 #supernatural skin #spn season 1 episode 6 #spn 1X06

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boughs-of-berries · 1 year

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You know what? I’ve changed my mind I WILL be elaborating.

Dean as “The Soldier”: There will come a soldier, who carries a mighty sword / He will tear your city down, oh lei oh lai oh lord

I feel like this is the most obvious one. He was raised to be the perfect soldier, told not to question his orders, and used as a weapon. The description from the quiz says “Righteousness. Strength. Violence. You see a door and break through it. You wonder, sometimes, if anger is the only thing you can feel. Remember : love is passion too. You made your own rules and will follow them to death. You try and forget that there is only one rule, and that it is ‘FIGHT’. You are tired of fighting. You try to forget that, too, and keep going. You dream of quiet. Your love is where you heal. God knows you deserve to”. If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve said that that was written specifically about Dean ‘The Righteous Man’ Winchester. How many times have we seen throughout the series that Dean believes that all he is is anger? Has he said that he is tired of having to fight? In the confession scene, Cas says most of the stuff about how he isn’t just anger, but rather love. It is through Cas confessing his love to Dean that Dean is able to start healing, and we see that in 15x19, when Chuck tells Dean that he is “the ultimate killer” and Dean responds that “that’s not who I am”. There is a question in the quiz that asks what duty is, and the possible answers are “Violence”, “An Excuse”, and “Undeniable”. I believe that these answers are for the Soldier, Poet, and King respectively. For Dean, as the Soldier, duty is violence. All he has ever been needed for is as a weapon, so for him that would be all he knows. I know that some people may argue that Dean as as much if not more so a proponent of free will, and ergo he would also say that duty is an excuse, but it’s not that simple. Dean is far more likely to go along with what he feels is his duty, not because he’s a brainless soldier who just does what he’s told, but rather because he will follow his duty if it’s not something he is morally objective to. Dean is also more likely to feel guilty for abandoning his duty, especially if he thinks that doing so would hurt someone. Take for example Dean refusing to say “yes” to Michael. He knows that if he says “yes”, that millions of innocent people are going to die. He is obviously very opposed to this idea, so even though it’s his duty, he refuses to do it, as opposed to something like hunting. Dean agrees that bad monsters need to be stopped, he has the training to do so, and if he doesn’t do it then people would be hurt, so even if he doesn’t necessarily want to, he does his duty.

Sam as “The Poet”: There will come a poet, whose weapon is his word / He will slay you with his tongue, oh lei oh lai oh lord

Sam often gets labelled as the “Brain” to Dean’s “Brawn”, and while Dean isn’t stupid, and Sam isn’t weak, those labels don’t come from nowhere. Sam is more likely to use his words to talk his way out of a problem, or use communication to avoid conflict in the first place. He also leans more heavily into using magic and spells in a fight, and is often the one who performs exorcisms and the like, literally slaying people with his tongue (and also the women he kisses tend to die lol). The description from the quiz reads “Loneliness. Strength. Joy. You are powerful, but struggle believing it. You think you're not enough. Here's the truth: you are. You sing songs and hope they carry faith, because you have run out if it, and yet you still throw your heart out to the world and hope it makes it through. You convince yourself that pain is art because at least then, you will always have something to create. You are tired of stumbling through life. You dream of a ground you can stand on. One day, you will dance. Your love is where you feel - without fear”. Especially with the demon blood in early seasons, Sam believed that he was tainted, and couldn’t be good. In later seasons, we see a Sam who may seem drained but always tries to have faith, and have hope that things will still work out, because if he doesn’t then who will? For Sam, duty is an excuse. Sam is a heavy believer in free will, and thinks that you always have the option of choosing something else. It may have been his duty to hunt, but that isn’t what he wanted to do, so he left to go to school. If you use duty as an excuse for why you did something, then there must be an underlying reason for why you really did it, because you never have to follow duty.

Castiel as “The King”: There will come a ruler, whose brow is laid in thorns / Smeared with oil like David’s boy, oh lei oh lai oh lord

Literally “The Man Who Would Be King” himself, Castiel fits the description of the King perfectly. Going by the lyrics first, you could argue that this is the section with the most direct links to Christianity, and the Angel one fits that way. The crown of thorns and part about David’s boy are ties to Jesus, a son of God, and Cas, as an angel, is a son of God. Taking the crown of thorns line without the religious connotations, it matches his arc in season 6 really well. Just like how a literal crown of thorns would cut you, Cas was torn apart in every way in receiving power; physically, in his body deteriorating, mentally, under the pressures he was under, and emotionally, by having to compromise on his morals and values to try and win the war. Castiel was a commander in Heaven, and as we see throughout the show he isn’t afraid to make difficult decisions and he accepts whatever consequences may come as a result of them. The description from the quiz reads “Duty. Strength. Resignation. You were told to do things and you did them. The world is something that was put into your hands and that you must deal with - so you will. You have a rigid back and steady hands, either metaphorically or physically. Is it nature or nurture ? You don't know. You are tired of being steady. You dream of feeling alive. Not that you aren't, but, sometimes, it's hard to remember that there is a heart between your ribs. Your love is where you breathe. Come on, breathe. In. Out. It starts now”. Once again, a description that feels like it was written about Cas. For millennia, Cas followed along with what he was supposed to do. Even when he rebelled, he continued to do what he was supposed to, it was just that his moral code was aligned to Dean. In season 4, we see that Cas is beginning to feel, and throughout the rest of the show he highly values keeping those emotions and tries to encourage them in other angels. In the confession scene, Cas tells Dean that it is because of Dean that he even knows how to feel and love in the first place. Anything he loves is intrinsically tied to Dean, because without Dean he never would have loved. It is with Dean that he is the most free, and that is where he can breathe. For Castiel, duty is undeniable. While he does agree that you have the option of making any choice, whatever one you make will always be your duty. For countless years, his duty was to Heaven, so all of his choices revolved around that. When he rebelled in season 4, he wasn’t abandoning his duty to Heaven, but rather his duty was shifting to align to Dean. When he betrays the Winchesters in season 6, it is because he feels he has a duty to fix Heaven. Castiel believes that you can’t escape duty, all you can do is change what you are duty-bound to.

#castiel #dean winchester #sam winchester #spn #supernatural #tfw #team free will #destiel #soldier poet king

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