#catch me deleting this when it doesn't show up in the tags...

[therhythmafterthesummer]

The Wedding Planners (M) ~Changbin

Pairing: Werewolf!Changbin x Werewolf!F.Reader Themes: Fantasy/Supernatural AU | Smut | Fluff | Established Relationship Word Count: ~3k | AO3 Synopsis: Planning a wedding was way more stressful than Changbin could’ve ever expected. It seemed so easy at first, like all that was needed was to fulfil a checklist and call it a day, but he realised very quickly that there was a reason for the concept of bride and groomzilla to have been created. [This story is an instalment of my WereRoomies series]. Warnings: mentions of arguments (but it's fine. this is all soft) · graphic depictions of intercourse (smut warnings under the cut).

Author’s Note: this was originally going to be a drabble inspired by an ask that an anon sent. however, i felt like moving a bit of the story forward with it, so i upgraded it :^) hope you enjoy!

Due to all the abovementioned warnings, this story is intended for an adult audience only. Minors please do not interact.

Changbin’s WereRoomies Instalments: Finding Comfort in Autumn · Heat · The Love I Always Dreamt Of · The Wedding Planners.

Smut Warnings: unprotected penetration [piv] · creampie · fingering [F.Rec] · oral [F.Rec] · cum-eating/snowballing

Disclaimer: the story presented in this work does not represent Stray Kids in any way; anything described in this story and all actions performed by the characters are purely fictional, this was created just for good fun.

Planning a wedding was way more stressful than Changbin could’ve ever expected. It seemed so easy at first, like all that was needed was to fulfil a checklist and call it a day, but he realised very quickly that there was a reason for the concept of bride and groomzilla to have been created. 

Changbin was a perfectionist to a fault, and so were you. This combination was a recipe for disaster… ‘You want those flowers? Are you serious? Do you even want to get married?’, ‘That tablecloth fabric is atrocious, I can’t believe you’d choose such a thing!’, ‘If there aren’t exactly eight flowers in each table arrangement we can’t even call this a wedding’…

It didn’t matter who said what, both you and Changbin had become absolutely insufferable beings. Not only to each other, but to the people around you as well. Which was why, by the nth month of you both planning your wedding, you’d very smartly agreed to create a proper system, name your must-haves and your absolutely-nots, and to fully hand over all duties to a wedding planner, your bridesmaids, and his groomsmen–who had also agreed it was the best choice for everyone’s sanity.

It’d been the best decision you both could’ve taken, since petty arguments over locations and flowers and tablecloths were most certainly taking a toll in your household’s dynamic. 

Finally, after months, Changbin and you had returned to acting like your normal selves again, and he’d figured, what better way to celebrate this regained freedom than to take his beloved fiancé on an escapade to the mountains?

Changbin was a man of luxury, he was well aware of this. When it came to his loved ones, he spared nothing. So renting a cabin in the middle of the woods for five days and four nights was an insignificant expense when it meant he could spend all that time with you. A time where he wasn’t Changbin the engineer, nor the right hand of an Alpha wolf, nor the groom in a wedding that would soon take place…

It was a time solely reserved for him to be himself, for him to be your mate and fiancé, your future husband, and for you to be his future wife.

His wife…

Every time he thought about it, he felt giddy, he just had to admit it. 

It was just a title, of course. He didn’t love you any less when you were ‘just’ his girlfriend, nor would he love you any differently when you’d legally become his wife, but he still liked the way it sounded. Not only that, but you liked the way it sounded.

Every time he called you his wife, he could just hear the way your heart rate spiked, he could see the big smile on your face…

But, oh, boy… When you called him your husband?

Changbin always felt like he was the luckiest man in the world, like he was ready to run a marathon or become the next Ninja Warrior. 

You were mates, yes. You had mated long ago, and although he was very satisfied with this, the idea of being your husband did things to him. Maybe it was the fact that he spent a lot of his time surrounded by humans, but the prospect of being legally tied to you in their world made his heart swell in his chest.

When you’d arrived earlier than expected to the main lodge three days ago, you’d proudly told the receptionist that ‘My husband has made a reservation for one of your cabins. Do you know if it’s already available?’ he couldn’t keep the grin off his face, nor did he want to.

These three days had been absolutely amazing. You’d had the opportunity to go on runs through the woods together, to stuff yourselves full of delicious food, to have couple massages, and to huddle yourselves inside this cosy cabin to escape the outside world.

The fireplace radiated warmth, which was more than appreciated during these cold months. The gentle crackling produced by it was an immensely relaxing background noise. The fairy lights and many candles distributed throughout the cabin covered the inside of your little safe haven with the gentlest light, and, truly, this was probably the most relaxed Changbin had felt in months.

Especially now, when he could feel your nails digging on his forearms, when your delighted moans joined the sounds of your bodies colliding and the wood burning in the fireplace.

“B–Binnie, b–bunny, b–baby–” 

Oh, you were already dropping the Three Bs on him, and that only made him want to rail you more.

Yes, Changbin was usually the more submissive one in the bedroom, that was no secret to either of you, but sometimes, the alpha in him just wanted to satisfy you, just like the omega in you wanted to be satisfied…

Was there a better way to do that than to have you in a mating press right there by the fireplace? 

There just wasn’t.

“Hm?” He grasped at the soft faux-fur rug under you, trying to ground himself. If he focused too much on the vice-grip of your cunt, or the blissed-out expression on your face, he’d just come.

He was so fucking close… He’d been for a while now, but he was enjoying himself too much, he just needed to prolong this for as long as possible. It wasn’t like he couldn’t have you like this again later, on the contrary, he was sure he was going to, but he was horny and an idiot and you felt so good and the sound of the dainty ‘C’ charm on your anklet tinkling next to his ear was just so enticing…

“You’re so–Fuck…–you’re so good, b–baby…” Even if you were looking at him, your eyes had lost focus a long time ago. If he looked hard enough, he could’ve sworn your blown pupils had taken the shape of two cute little hearts. “I love you, love you…”

You repeated yourself over and over again, and Changbin couldn’t help but swear under his breath. He took your calves off of his shoulders and leaned into you so he could hold you close. With an arm under your neck and his forearm planted on the floor for stability, he resumed his steady pace. “Lo–love you, too… Love you, pup…”

Your quiet whimpers so close to his ear were bringing him to the edge at an alarming rate, and he was incapable of keeping his own moans in check with how aggressively his insides were burning up.

“Fuck, baby, I’m so, so, so fucking close…” He mumbled against your hair, speeding the movement of his hips and increasing the strength of his thrusts.

“Yes! Please, please come… Want–Binnie, I want your puppies so badly, please–!”

His brain fogged up immediately, and he started to feel dizzy. “Yeah? My wife wants to be full of my pups?”

“Fuck, yes!” You dug your nails on his buttocks, and the sting alone almost made him blow. “Please, please, my– my alpha, my husband–”

“Oh, shit–!”

An animalistic growl resonated throughout the small cabin when he came. The sound quickly turned into desperate moans as he kept fucking bucket-loads of his cum into your hole. He was too far gone, too overcome with pleasure and warmth.

He didn’t stop moving until your slick walls had milked every single drop he had to offer, and even then, he kept pumping himself into you, just to make sure…

Well, it wasn’t like you’d be getting pregnant, since your birth control had been very efficiently doing its job for months and months now, but his instincts didn’t care about that. All his inner wolf cared about was to try his best for it to stick.

It wasn’t until the mild sting of overstimulation started to settle in that he pulled his cock out, but swiftly replaced it with two of his fingers before he was moving down your body and attaching his lips to your puffy clit. 

Oh, how heavenly it felt when he had you in his mouth… When you grasped at his hair and started gasping because of his tongue. His ears were still ringing, and he was still dizzy, but he needed to make you come, too. He was dying to feel you clamp around his fingers and hear you moan his name over and over again.

“O–oh, Changbin, fuck–!”

More.

He needed more. 

Before he knew it, he was sucking and licking your clit like a starved man, fucking you with his fingers to stimulate that area within your walls that had your thighs trembling around his head and your grip on his hair tightening. 

And, of course, you gave him more. Every moan, every sigh, every whimper was either a pet name, or a version of his name, or just a sound of pure pleasure and he was on absolute cloud nine. 

“Bun–bunny, I’m coming–”

Changbin could barely perceive the sounds coming out of his throat. He’d been groaning and moaning against your folds since he’d settled camp here. But when your walls started fluttering deliciously around his fingers, you managed to pull another growl out of him, and your whole body just trembled in response.

He stopped lapping at your clit when you’d patted his head with a whine. Pulling out his fingers, he revelled in the creamy mix of your climaxes coating his digits. His eyes found yours before he brought them to his mouth and sucked them clean.

Your breath hitched in your throat, and you bit on your bottom lip as a smile started to spread across your face. Changbin loved to see that twinkle in your eye, to hear your body’s responses to him and his actions. They always made him feel proud of himself, and like you were the only person in this world for him.

He supposed you were. 

Never had he romantically loved someone this much, and at this point, he didn’t want to love anyone else romantically like this ever again. For him, it was just you. Every day, he was reminded that he was ready to spend the rest of his life with you.

As soon as he noticed his cum starting to spill out of your cunt, he immediately started cleaning you up with his tongue. He made sure to collect as much as he could in his mouth before he pressed a final, tender kiss to your clit and made his way up your body again.

With a satisfied sigh and your fingers buried in his hair, you pulled him in, sealing your mouths in a sloppy, loving kiss that had his brain almost disintegrating in his skull.

Changbin let his weight fall on you, and you simply wrapped your limbs around his body and squeezed him tight.

As the kiss slowed down and turned to tender pecks, Changbin hummed, pleased. Not only because of the body-rocking orgasm he’d just had, but because he was just so incredibly in love with you.

When he pulled away and his eyes found yours, he couldn’t help but appreciate how the reflection of the fairy lights sparkled in your eyes. His cheeks heated up at the sight, and a small giggle escaped his mouth before he was pressing another brief kiss on your lips. 

“Y’know”, you mumbled, burying your fingers in his hair when he shuffled a bit so he could lay his head on your chest. “Coming here was an excellent idea”.

“Mmm… Of course. It was my idea”, Changbin laughed when you pulled on his hair at his comment, and pressed a kiss to your chest right after.

“Duh, what would we do without your huge brain, Bin”.

He pulled himself away from your chest and planted both hands next to your head to look down at you. “I don’t appreciate the hints of sarcasm in that sentence, puppy”.

He was, of course, joking. The splitting smile on his face was a great indicator of that. The comment made you chuckle.

“Me? Being sarcastic about these things? Never”, a smile tugged at your lips, and you brought your hands to hold his waist. “But seriously, though. I couldn’t even recognise myself the last few months… It’s been awful”.

“It really has been. I couldn’t recognise myself, either. I’m really happy we can be here together. It’s like our pre-honeymoon!”

“Oh, my God, the honeymoon…” You sighed dreamily, squeezing his sides. “We’re really gonna be gone for two whole weeks…”

“Mm. Two whole weeks of you, me, and all those tourist traps we’re gonna visit”.

“All those tourist traps we’re gonna visit as husband and wife”, you giggled, wrapping your arms around his middle. “I can’t wait”.

“Me neither”, Changbin didn’t think he could smile any wider. The thought genuinely made him so, so happy, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to contain all these feelings within himself for long. “Anyway, how d’you feel about a warm bath?”

“That is another amazing idea for sure”, you chuckled, hanging onto Changbin with all of your limbs so he could stand up from the floor with you wrapped around him.

That warm bath was absolutely lovely. The way you caressed his hair and lovingly left trails of kisses on his face, arms, and shoulders had his heart swelling with adoration. Plus, getting to pamper you as well always left his inner wolf with a metaphorical wagging tail, so he stepped out of that bathroom feeling light, like he was walking on clouds.

With your bodies dry and fluffy robes over your frames, Changbin held onto you from behind as you both waddled back to the fireplace so you both could lay down again. 

He tried his best to choose a clean spot before he dropped a cushion on the floor for him to lay his head on, and pulled you into his arms. On the very first night here, you’d both mutually decided that you didn’t care about paying the extra cleaning fees for this rug…

Changbin exhaled a satisfied sigh once you had buried your face in his neck and hugged him close.

You inhaled deeply, almost dreamily, and the tender kiss you left on his pulse point had a small smile appearing on his face. 

“I really do love your scent…” You mumbled, letting your lips graze against his skin with every word. “I never thought I’d find so much comfort in an alpha’s scent. But yours is just so… ugh, I just looove it”.

Changbin could feel heat creep on his face, making him blush, and since words failed him, he just pressed a loud kiss on your forehead to show some appreciation for your words.

“I was thinking…” You mumbled after a while, cuddling closer to his side and draping a leg over his torso.

“Mm?”

“Y’know… About puppies…”

Changbin’s ears perked up, and his heart did a flip in his chest. “…Yeah?”

“D’you think Chris would have any problems if another couple in the pack had pups first?” You mumbled, tracing shapes with your index finger on his clothed chest.

What an interesting question… Would Chris have any problems with that? 

He was The Alpha of their pack, their leader, and tradition dictated that the alpha must be the first one to reproduce and bring pups to the pack. However… Chris wasn’t particularly traditional.

Chris had never really enforced anything on their packmates other than a few barely existing rules here and there, not only that but he had a human mate–yes, yes, he hadn’t claimed his girlfriend yet, but there was no doubt in Changbin’s mind that his dear best friend was going to do it at some point anyway. As far as Changbin had seen, having a human mate meant that their relationship would definitely go at a much slower pace than it’d go between werewolves.

Knowing Chris, and knowing his girlfriend, he was sure there wouldn’t be pups from them coming anytime soon. 

“Chris… I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t mind”, Changbin said after a while, caressing your hair. “I could be mistaken… To be honest, I’m not, but I could be, so it’s something you could always ask him if you’re curious… Why?”

You hummed in response, and remained silent for a bit. Your hand slipped into his robe, and the shapes you’d been tracing over the fluffy fabric were now leaving a fiery trace on the skin of his chest, right over his heart.

Puppies… Changbin had thought about puppies before. Years ago, he would’ve never imagined himself as a father. He was a wreck, he didn’t have the emotional maturity to care for a child in the way they needed. Back then, that was… Nowadays, though…

“Would you… would you like to try for puppies?”

Your voice startled him. It went through his eardrum and spread all over his body, reaching his heart to accelerate its pumping. Puppies… Your puppies…

Changbin pulled himself away from you a bit, enough so he could prop himself on his elbow and look you in the eyes. You were looking straight at him, but he could tell you were nervous about what you were asking, and he realised then that he’d been quiet for a bit too long.

“Yes”.

“Yes?” The shock in your voice almost made him laugh. Were you doubting it?

“Of fucking course, puppy. Have our own litter?” He was almost shaking with excitement at the thought. “It’s like a dream. Our puppies, you and I…”.

A bright smile made its way onto your face, and in no time, you had straddled his waist and started peppering kisses on his cheeks, making him giggle.

“Our puppies, you and I…” You repeated, just before you planted a loud, wet kiss on his lips. “It really does sound like a dream”.

Well, nowadays, Changbin believed he could be a parent, especially if it involved you.

It seemed like that honeymoon was not only gonna be spent as a husband and wife visiting tourist traps, but also mating like dogs until that dream became a reality. It was very clear that you were both absolutely looking forward to it.

© therhythmafterthesummer 2023. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate my stories.

Constructive feedback (or even keysmashes, really) is always welcome :) feel free to leave your comments in the caption/tags when you reblog, or by sending me an ask !

General Masterlist | Ko-Fi Changbin’s WereRoomies Instalments: Finding Comfort in Autumn · Heat · The Love I Always Dreamt Of · The Wedding Planners.

#neverendingdreams #stray kids supernatural au #stray kids fantasy au #stray kids werewolf au #changbin fluff #changbin smut #stray kids fluff #stray kids smut #stray kids fanfiction #changbin fanfiction #changbin fic #changbin x reader #skz fanfic #skz fanfiction #stray kids fanfic #werewolf changbin #✨🌙✏ #catch me deleting this when it doesn't show up in the tags...

[kaylas-world-0]

Are your requests actually open for bullfrog? If so, is it alright to request for yandere headcanons of him? ( or oneshot if that fits more to your liking! ) With human reader that possibly works for eden?

It doesn't has to be anything bloody! Any yandere scenarios that fits him are fine, You can change the scenario if you want it too

And sorry if im misunderstood it! You can just delete this request if i did so!

A/N: Yandere looks so out of character of him. But I give it a try for you dear anon~ Yan!Bullfrog and a worker of Eden? (It's not like humans and hyberds already have a complex realationship enough) Oh jeez. We are going in a big rollercoster ride here, so buckle up your seats guys! 😏👀☕️💦

I need one more thing to say. There is a similar ask like this one. A reader working for Eden. So I'm gonna change this request a slightly bit, so both wouldn’t cross much. I hope that's alright for you :)

AND SO SORRY THIS IS SO SHORT AAAA--

Bullfrog x h!reader HEADCANON-ish? (It's a bit diffucult to tell with what I write here :')

Warnings: blood, dead bodies, possesive behaviour, ooc

Masterlist

Word Count: 1.1k

Taglist: @blorbostation @eateableworm @livelaughluvvfaithyy @darkchanx @astoraa

Btw does anyone want to be in the tag list?

Dear anons; I would really appreciate it if you could choose an emoji while sending your asks and requests (and stick with it) so I can tell you apart. Thank you~

×Anouncment: I am no longer writing for Yangere Bullfrog. It's so out of character of him and I don't want that. Please don't ask me to write about it again my dear readers~ Thank youu. (I'm also so bad at writing yanderes oh my god 😭)

You both already knew each other when it all started

"Hey, do you have any gum?”

"Gum?" You glance at your soldier friend.

"Yeah, I like to chew on them. Do you have any?”

"Uh... no sorry." But you checked on your pockets anyway. Who knows? Maybe you actually have it. Before you can even lift your head a breeze past you.

A breeze? In the middle of the hall where no windows open?

You glance at your side, seeing what is left of your friend on the ground, his throat ripped open as he choked on his own blood and died in mere seconds. You stared at him as his lifeless body lay down motionless.

"I was talking to him.”

"Pas désolé, he is pretty much dead now."

You glance at him unimpressed while he stared up at you with a smile, a sweet sickening one, making you feel annoyed even more. His bloody blades disappearing behind his wrists.

"You need to stop your little visits. They will notice our talks one day. And it's not gonna be pretty for both of us.”

“We never agreed it would be. Qui a dit que ça m'intéressait de toute façon.” He grinned at you as he connected his hands behind his back.

How do you two know each other? Well, you two met when you started to work for Eden, seemingly. You're an agent observing Eden's work and informing your superiors. That's it. That was your job. Being a spy. Dangerous you need to say. Thankfully, if someone notices your act, you know how to fight.

It wasn't long before the assassin and spy met in unfortunate circumstances. Forcing you to fight side by side in a station where both of you are in grave danger. It was in the past now. Either you regret meeting him or not… you weren’t sure.... yet

After that day, he didn't seem to forget about you. Or your purpose. It looks like you managed to catch his attention from the first moments.

He started to show his face whenever he could to the point you can't ignore anymore.

You did get irritated by that a lot of the time, especially in the beginning. But now you just… get used to it? You don’t know. It’s not like he listened when you told him to go.

Thankfully whenever he kills your ‘comrades’ he helps you to not get caught because of his reckless actions? You actually started to think he's doing it on purpose too. Just to stay a bit longer and interact with you more.

You don’t actually care who he kills. You just want him to not ruin your cover.

But when you start to notice every person you talk to starts to disappear or end up dead? You start to worry. Like a lot. How can you not? Your life is on the line.

You know it was him doing it. But you just didn't get why. You are more than capable of handling yourself.

What was he thibking doing all that? Risking your whole mission- YOUR life- To get you caught? There need to be more to it. There is something really wrong with him…

And you were proven right when you found one of your agent friends covered in his own blood, near him only stood and stared Bullfrog while he slowly... died. Like he wanted to teach him a lesson in his own mind.

His blades were bloody. There was something horrible the way he just… stared. What shocked you even more was what he uttered out to the body laying motionless, to the soulless eyes.

“No one… no one can take her away...” he slowly wiped the blood from his mouth.

Your eyes widen with that. How does a normal person would act in this situation? Run away for their life? Scream? Cry? Grow in anger? Probably. But you were a skilled agent. You stepped inside, even you couldn't belive how calm you were, he quickly got aware of your presence and tilted his head with a smirk. He never hid that glint in his eyes.

“Bonjour, mon lumière. How was your day? Good I hope?”

You shook your head, and went straigh to the point, “What have you done?” It was the only thing you could let out at the moment. A lot of things went trhough in your head but you just stood there and actually hoped to hear a manageable answer?

He opened his arms towards you and approached, he actually believed in what he said, “He was going to get in between like all the others. I couldn’t let that happen.”

The more he came closer the more you stepped back, you shook your head, “You are not even making any sense. You are sick, you are—“

You yelled in pain and dropped down on your knees before you could even put up a fight to get away. He cut your ankles. Not actually cut them in two but that still hurted like hell. You hissed and suck in a breath. You grimiced and tighten your fist. You are not going to show any weakness to him.

You panted in pain as he held you in his arms, caressing your back. You growled in anger on his shoulder, wiggling in his strong hold, trying to get away but he didn't even move an inch and continued holding you tightly, not very affected. How could he be so strong?

“Don’t worry, ma vie. You will soon understand that I’m freeing you from the burden of working under an organization as vile as Eden. You’ll be at peace with me. I promise." He caressed your head ‘lovingly’. “Nous serons ensemble pour toujours.”

Your angry yell muffled in his chest. As his eyes stared blankly into space with a smile on his lips.

Everything got so much worse after that...

#bullfrog x reader #bullfrog #captain lazerhawk spoilers #captain lazerhawk #reader #x reader #allenwrites #yandere #headcanon #oneshot #I can't write yandere bullfrog #captain laserhawk #I fuck it up Qwq

[yawnderu]

About the mass reporting post. I’m one of the people (idk if it’s been you, but I know one blog for sure.) who’s been reporting people like flies bc… while I love y’alls work. There’s a shitload of people who absolutely do NOT use the ‘read more’ tab and it drives me crazy. It has nothing to do with ‘don’t like, don’t read’ or as simple as ‘block me’ because those posts still, even WITH filtering show up in the tags. Uncensored. I have many things filtered out, yet there are personal things (traumas) that are triggering for me, like the use of the word ‘r*pe’ and such, and to see such graphic posts and content (even if I’ll commend you guys on putting warnings—most of the time now—anyway) it doesn’t do a damn thing if you don’t ALSO add the ‘keep reading’ tab. So every time I see a post that doesn’t have that, I automatically will report it because it’s not properly addressed and is insensitive, especially when it has heavy and dark material.

TDLR:

You can warn and tag about it all you want, but when I have to scroll through miles long posts of dark fics, I’m bound to catch fragments here or there of words and phrases of things that are utterly triggering and retraumatizing to me, and no doubt, other people. Many people have openly discussed and warned y’all about this many times about how you guys post your stuff. It’s just courtesy to watch how you do it. That’s all ❤️ that’s all we’re asking, please 🙏🏻 like, there’s literally no other problem than that. You all are amazing writers. Love the content. Feel free to write literally whatever your heart desires. I just personally couldn’t take it anymore, day after day.

Friendly reminder that having trauma doesn't give you the right to report authors in hopes of getting their blogs and hard work deleted simply because their fics triggers you. Grow the fuck up rather than trying to destroy someone's work simply because you can't manage your triggers.

It's weird, and truly, it IS as simple as blocking or scrolling past. You can simply look to a blank spot in your screen OR dismiss the post.

#stray answers

[headspacedad]

so you've been soft banned

Okay, I don't know what's going on with tumblr but several blogs I follow seem to have been soft banned recently. When tumblr soft bans a blog you can still access it as its creator but it no longer shows up in the search engine and often you won't get notifications about anyone trying to communicate with you. As far as I can tell there's no actual reason behind soft bans, they just seem to hit randomly and half the time people don't even realize they've been soft banned because tumblr doesn't bother to tell you. It's also pretty across the board. I've had this account soft banned. I've had side accounts soft banned. I even had tumblr soft ban and then delete one of my accounts after about a week (I got it back). I always just got the cut and paste 'tumblr is experiencing issues' excuse after it was fixed.

SO - keep an eye on your accounts for a while. These things seem to come and go in waves. Punch you account name into the search engine from time to time or check and make sure your posts are showing up in the tags. On the upside, at least for me, it was a pretty easy fix and tumblr usually got to it in a week. The deleted account took about two weeks.

This is a link that will walk you through reporting it

DO report it because its much harder to report a deleted account than it is to report a soft banned account. They say not to contact them past the first report but I usually gave them about a week and then replied to the email they automatically sent out. I don't know if they're just testing out a new algorithm or someone's getting report happy and tumblr's not checking before they soft block. Tumblr does seem fairly fast about fixing things but you've got to catch it on your own.

Point is, watch out for yourself, watch out for your friends.

#tumblr #soft block #blogs

[itsclydebitches]

Ted lasso ask: Was Isaac avoiding Colin because of internalized homophobia, or bc he was upset he never told him, or was it a bit of both? Did Isaac attack the fan bc he was offended by what he said or to 'defend colin's honor'?

Ted Lasso ask woo!

Personally, I think it's an "All of the above" situation. In one of my previous posts I remember catching a tag arguing that Isaac isn't experiencing internalized homophobia, presumably because he himself is not gay and yeah, that's an understandable push-back considering that a) he's not out in the show and b) I never bothered to explain there my own thoughts on the possibility. The tl;dr of that is, "I think you can make a case for Isaac being queer based on his relationship with Colin, his intense reaction to realizing a teammate is gay, the potentially defensive nature of the anti-gay/'I'm totally straight, bro' jokes he makes - which, remember, Colin himself participated in as a kind of cover, raising the possibility that others are doing the same - and the reminder from Beard that more people in the locker room are queer than the three the audience knows about: Colin, Trent, and Will."

But to keep things simple here, let's just settle on, "Isaac has been homophobic." Whether it's internalized as he grapples with his own sexuality or not, Isaac has exhibited homophobic behavior in the past and, of course, after Colin's outing. It's not "Your conservative uncle spewing slurs and issuing death threats" homophobic, but just because there's a range in how homophobia presents doesn't mean it's not, you know, still homophobia. So that's something Isaac needed to deal with last episode. He's spent years making comments based in homophobia ("It's a little gay, isn't it?") and making assumptions about others presumed straightness (why in the world would Colin want privacy to delete those photos?), so when he's suddenly faced with the fact that someone he cares about is gay... he needs time to process that. Trent hit the nail on the head with his "give him a minute" line because not only do people need time when their worldview suddenly shifts like that, but it's a rare and joyous case where they react to that change solely with open-minded positivity. In Isaac's case, he used avoidance and anger as shields until he could come to terms with that change, significantly with Roy's help.

When Isaac says that he's upset that Colin didn't tell him I don't think he's lying... but I also don't think that's the entire truth. If this was only about Colin's trust in him then Isaac would have led with that from the get-go: seconds after he's taken Colin's phone it's, 'You're gay? Awesome! But man, why didn't you tell me? :( ' That obviously didn't happen. Trust is undoubtedly a part of Isaac's complicated feelings, but I think that only occurred to him after he'd come to terms with Colin being gay in the first place. Isaac had to accept that change in his worldview as well as this change in his perception of Colin and then, once he was in a place of, 'Yeah, yeah, Colin is my friend and teammate, of COURSE I accept him' he's able to go, ]Wait... why didn't he tell me??' and that anger becomes the next shield. By and large, people struggle to admit to their mistakes and they really struggle to admit to something as hurtful as, 'My homophobia was so deeply ingrained that unfortunately there was a moment where I wasn't sure I could get past that.' Once Isaac DOES get past it and it becomes unthinkable to him that he would have ever rejected Colin over something like who he's attracted to... it becomes that much harder to remember/acknowledge that, for an undetermined length of time, Isaac did exactly that. Don't talk to me (ignoring direct peace offerings). Don't touch me (removing his hand from under Colin's in the team pile-up). You're an easy target for my frustrations now that I know how freakish you are (screaming at Colin during the match). Isaac's homophobia was deep enough that it made him incredibly cruel for a time, so when he grows out of that of course he's going to struggle to admit precisely how cruel he was. So he doesn't. Isaac apologizes, but it's still deflected with this not-entirely-accurate justification of, 'I was mad you never told me.' Which doesn't make Isaac a bad person, it just makes him a person, period, with flaws and contradictions and the chance to improve.

All of which I think applies to the attack on the fan. Why does Isaac lash out like that?

Because he's still overcoming all the homophobia he's learned and he sees an accusation of being gay as the ultimate insult to his team

Because he may be struggling with his sexuality himself, so an accusation directed at him is even worse. It's not just that it may touch a nerve, but that anger is the only way to protect himself here: become enraged so that everyone watching - teammates, coaches, fans, the press, the world - knows that you're DEFINITELY not gay. That's unthinkable. That's impossible. That's worthy of an attack because to brush it off would be to implicitly suggest that being gay is okay and that's just one step from admitting that maybe you ARE gay. The fact that Isaac's dialogue is centered around, "What did you call me?" is one of the reasons why I personally read him as closeted/potentially not having questioned his own sexuality yet.

Because it wasn't actually a 'You're gay' accusation but a slur hurled by someone who is (presumably) not a part of the community and therefore has no right to reclaim it.

Because even while he struggles to accept Colin, Isaac still loves Colin so yes, there's that element of defending his honor.

Because his anger is reaching a tipping point and this attack - perfectly tailored to push the very buttons he's trying and failing to ignore - is what causes it to boil over.

So Isaac is complicated (because he's a well-written character!) and thus for me it's "All of the above." Personally, I LOVE that the episode's final scene didn't have Isaac suddenly being a Perfect Ally now. Not only is he asking a ton of questions that, while understandable, would make a lot of queer people uncomfortable af, especially given that they highlight Isaac's continuing biases (Colin is a very good friend for giving him the nonjudgmental space to ask all that), but he's also unable to say "I love you." What exactly does that mean? Perhaps that Isaac's residual homophobia won't let him say that to a man, especially a man he now knows is gay. Perhaps that the toxic masculinity he's grown up around - which is intimately tied to the homophobia - won't let him say it as a man, a black man, a man in a position of authority (note that Isaac is not there when the others scream Sam's, "I love you guys so very much!"). Perhaps it means that there is an element of internalized homophobia and Isaac can't say that to any man yet, let alone one he might be attracted to. Perhaps it's, again, all of the above. It's up to interpretation, but the takeaways is that of course Isaac loves Colin - he's eager to ensure Colin knows that in his own way - but the environment he's grown up in and his own personal struggles won't let him say the words yet. That's okay. Colin recognizes that it's okay, just gently pointing out that Isaac can't say it and silently encouraging him to continue working on that, regardless of what reason - or reasons - it's difficult in the first place.

#Ted Lasso #Isaac MacAdoo #Colin Hughes #homophobia tw #mymetas

[honeybee-taskforce]

WIP Wednesday

thanks for the tag @whatsintheboxmh !!

this is from an upcoming off hand piece that I started after getting stuck in my feels after listening to a song, so I decided to make the favorite suffer with me!!

This is the first night in four months that Carlos has actually found himself happy and smiling. Weeks of working overtime to pick up unexpected payments ran him both overworked and tense. When Nancy had texted him to see if he wanted to hang out this weekend (for the 5th week in a row) he was in the middle of another binge session of a cooking show that he had long stopped paying attention to. Zoned out and unfocused, he had startled when his phone buzzed, used to it laying silent nearby for weeks now. He was planning on making another excuse and letting her down easy. At least that was the plan until he remembered a call involving a very aggressive driver causing a multi car pile up on the highway meant that his regular eight hour shift had turned in fourteen hours. He was already typing out a reply when he remembered, and takes a deep breath. He lays his head on the back of the couch and looks up at the ceiling of his loft. I'm so sorry Nance, maybe next time! it said with a heartfelt intent. He immediately sat up, deleted it, and asked her if she was free Friday night. Her response was colorful, so he agreed to go out with her on the condition that he got to pick the club. Carlos was still skeptical but knew that she wouldn't relent, and after the pileup from hell wearing him down he decided to throw caution to the wind. Now, he is so glad he did as Nancy appears next to him, with a smirk on her face and a different shade of a lipstick stain on the corner of her mouth. Carlos keeps dancing but looks past her with eyebrows raised trying to quickly match the shades with anyone he might catch. Nancy laughs loudly and shoves his shoulder, joining him in dancing again. The music shifts to an EDM beat that he doesn't recognize, but makes him feel good. There is an upbeat tempo overlaid three different voices creating a lovely harmony that makes him wish he knew the name of the song. Nancy must recognize it because she immediately shrieks with joy and grabs his hand to spin him around twice. His head continues spinning even after he's righted himself and his face must show it because Nancy immediately drops her smile and grabs his shoulders. "Dude, are you okay!?" She shouts at him. Carlos wants to say yes because he's having so much fun dancing. The room is spinning and his thoughts are turning all over the place. He needs to sit down, or some water, maybe a hug too while he's at it. "I'm fine Nance." He lies instead. "Alright, if you say so." Nancy, to her credit, takes a moment to inspect Carlos and gives him a once over. He shimmies to make her laugh, and she does. She does a spin and shimmies back at him when their eyes meet.

Open tag to whoever sees!!

#wip wednesday #my wips #tarlos #911 lone star

[depizan]

I was tagged by @kmlaney

1) Are you named after anyone?

No. Nor was I. (I changed my name when I was a teenager.)

2) When was the last time you cried?

This morning, because I was reading an air disaster write-up over breakfast.

3) Do you have kids?

Nope.

4) What sports do you play/have you played?

I am, or have been, deeply mediocre at: rollerskating, tennis, ping-pong, badminton, basketball, baseball, base soccer/kickball, soccer, flag football, volleyball, and track. Possibly other sports I've forgotten from my school days. I did once make a basket while playing volleyball, though.

I also know how to canoe, how to ride a bike, and how to swim. (Though I have done none of those recently.) And I've shot an arrow a couple of times, which doesn't seem like quite enough to make any claim to archery. (Though it was fun.)

5) Do you use sarcasm?

Yes.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Uh...so, here's the thing, my powers of observation when it comes to people aren't great. I've been known to joke that I could probably identify a streaker as "human." I need to encounter people multiple times before my brain stops hitting delete the moment they're out of my field of vision.

If someone's wearing really cool or eye-catching clothing or has delightful rainbow hair or the like, though, I'll notice that.

(I may possibly be a bird...)

7. What's your eye colour?

Blue.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings. Real life provides enough of every other option for me.

9. Any talents?

I'm pretty good at finding locations in photographs if I have a starting point. You know, like "here's an old picture taken in [city I live in], but we don't know where" or "this was taken in [town], but I forgot exactly where."

I also know lots of random information and like to fix things, which means I could probably be MacGyver if I really put my mind to it.

10. Where were you born?

The United States.

11. What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, playing MMOs, local history, casual hiking, drawing, watching movies/TV shows, learning about engineering or aviation disasters (or near disasters), tabletop gaming...

12. Do you have any pets?

Two cats.

13. How tall are you?

Somewhere in the vicinity of 5'4 or 5'5 (162-165 cm).

14. Favourite subject in school?

When I was a kid, science. As an adult, history related stuff. (Or things that combine the two.)

15. Dream job?

I'm actually hard pressed to think of something I'd enjoy more than working in a library. I get to do a little bit of everything! Or almost everything. Facilities doesn't let me run off with their tools. (Most of the time.)

Tagging... uh... I feel like a not insignificant number of my mutuals aren't really big on the personal asks, but please, if you feel like a wild ask game, go for it!

#asks!

[tazmilygray]

i lost my oldest uncle that morning, he was one of the firefighters who got trapped when the first building collapsed. making 9/11 out to be something to laugh at and quote in a mocking way is not only distasteful but also horribly disrespectful to the people and the family of those who lost their lives that day. like idc how much time has passed it was still a tragedy and the fact that you're laughing at it in this way makes it feel like you're laughing at those who suffered from it too. you never know who may be affected by something as insensitive like this. i don't even know what to say, i just feel hurt man. thought you were better than this.

first of all, before anything else i wanna say im so sorry for your loss, and i wish you and your family peace.

i didn't mean to ignore this message for as long as i did, i had work, and the connection is botched up there, and i didn't want something to happen to this ask (like disappearing unanswered) if i tried to answer while on break. plus, this ask did catch me by a bit of a surprise, so im glad i had time to think about it.

you're right, it was insensitive of me not to realize that just because 9/11 happened before i was born, that doesn't mean there aren't people who still feel the effects of it every day, and that to many, many people, it still hurts, because it was, like you said, a terrible tragedy that still affects people to this day, not just to mourn, but also people who survived with injuries or illness caused by it.

im sorry i hurt you, and possibly others, by my carelessness, and i appreciate you bringing this up to me

i'll do my best to be more mindful of the jokes i make going forward

i plan to remove the tag on the post you're talking about, and tag it appropriately in case any of my followers has 9/11 topics hidden. but i don't intend to delete the post, because i do think it shows that sometimes you gotta do what you can to get your mind off of things going on in the world, even if it seems silly on paper.

i once again would like to apologize for hurting you, and i thank you for your bringing this up to me. have a wonderful evening

#taz~txt #9/11

[noodlepai]

Okay soo I can't exactly help myself bcuz I wanna info dump so badly abt my AU again because I just am so fixated on it and I love coming up with ideas for it sjdjJSJ please excuse me, long post with long tags because I am opening the floodgates rn

I just can't stop thinking abt it and putting more story and details into it y'know y'know? It's my guilty pleasure

(I kinda changed some things in it *cough* and am still changing stuff)

---

Kyle wasn't really scared but was moreso interested in eteled when first meeting him, and of course being the little kid he is, he kinda messed with the guy a whole lot, when eteled doesn't like most kids all too much, (except for his bro and cousins, and later on Sam) and would ask Kyle to leave him alone, eventually after enough of being swung around in the air, being poked and all around harassed for an unspecified amount of time, eteled blew up at the guy to just leave him alone for good, he does have the axe in this scenario but it's for defense against being picked up again with that stupid ass Wii remote (although he isn't sure if it would work) and also to kinda get the point across to Kyle, so he's basically swinging his arms around a lot as he's yelling, and to sum it up quickly, pretty much what happens is that Kyle's Mii comes up behind eteled on accident, following it's programmed walk cycle and that just scares the shit out of him, causing him to swing his axe to fight back, and you can kinda guess how that goes

^ To add, the thing with eteled being deleted, and then banning Kyle temporarily from the Mii Channel did happen before all this, and Nathan was present during eteled's last straw being ripped from him, but he had less involvement in what pissed the guy off, and basically was invited over by Kyle, nonetheless he still witnessed the accident

eteled feels horrible for his actions, even though what had happened was entirely an accident, he's angry with himself, so he doesn't blame the kid one bit when Kyle decides that he has had enough mental damage and just throws the Wii in the closet, and yes Austin definitely knows about what happened, and he knows Kyle, so you can deduce from that how pissed Austin is, not only because of the fact that a poor kid has probably been traumatized, but it was his damn nephew

Kyle, some years later, does go back to check on eteled, because he's curious even though he doesn't wanna be, and is terrified, but he doesn't put anything on his computer because he is not about to have some scary ass Mii haunt his computer when he can just keep him in the Wii and throw it back in the closet or even in the trash if needed, so he reluctantly sets the Wii back up, not even sure if it works or survived the throw from all those years ago, almost hoping it didn't, but it does work and it turns on, and after some thinking and searching for the Mii, Kyle finds eteled, and they talk, they explain some things like their sides of the story without coming off as uncaring, and etc, and eteled allows Kyle to delete him to show him what happens to him and other Miis and you get the idea (eteled has pretty good control over the camera and other system stuff so it's not hard for him to just take it in there with him)

^Kyle notices that eteled looks a tad different than what he remembers, he certainly doesn't remember the guy looking kinda roughened up and having some marks on his face, which unbeknownst to Kyle, is a hint that there's another sentient being in this Wii but he doesn't catch onto it at this time

It's after the original events that happened with eteled and Kyle's Mii, that eteled starts learning more and more things about his digital body and the things he can effect inside the Wii, like he never realized how disturbing some of his facial expressions could be, especially when upset, so he figured that's why people have reacted the way they did when seeing him make certain faces, and he eventually learns to use this to his advantage, which he tries on Austin sometimes to get him to go away, and later coming into play when he feels the Wii turn back on after some time, and sees some random girl instead of the usual face he expected to see again

Sam, finally getting her hands on the console she wanted, is excited to get on the Wii, she discovers eteled, and is understandably confused at first, eteled wants nothing to do with her and any other kids, period, but he might as well try to scare her away if he has to, so it kinda turns into a scenario where he plays completely normal at first like just some random left over Mii, but then starts to mimick her movements and looks where she moves, to try to freak her out but she just thinks it's cool, Sam is into horror and all sorts of ghost type material, and the possibility of AI life, so it's more fascinating than anything, and when eteled finally drops the smile in a mix of frustration and being unamused, he just plainly goes "Boo" as a last resort, and Sam watches with her eyes lighting up like "Whoa, oh damn you guys talk?", with eteled staring and thinking to himself 'wth is wrong with this kid', he continues to try and push her away, even trying to freak her out with glitches or spooky faces but none of it works, Sam like "Omg that's so cool that you can do all that, you're a funny little guy" and wants to learn more about him and claim him as her new friend officially

^And as time goes on he softens up to her because she's very nice and caring, and he begins viewing her as someone he needs to protect as well, almost like a dad, while simultaneously seeing her as a friend, and even a mother figure in some ways

The situation with Will was a lot more tame cause nobody got hurt, except for eteled being deleted again *cough*, that and if you wanna also count the mental spook Will got when trying to fuck with Sam's Wii, no there was no axe, eteled pretty much crawled back out of The Hallway in pain, and scared the crap out of Will with his spoopy Mii faces, and that was enough for the kid to be like "Oh hell no" and then leave back out the window he came through (mf came through the window I still can't take that seriously in the canon story jsdjJSJ)

^Will got hit with the emo white man jumpscare

Oh, and the main reason Henry died was because of Austin, aka the guy was super pissed off and made sure that he would get his revenge by taking the guy down with him, hopefully causing him to be stuck in the same situation Austin is in by being a spirit confined to a digital body, that way he can continue to make him pay, even if he couldn't guarantee it, still worth getting back at Henry

^Haven't figured out yet how he would do this and if I should change how Henry exactly died but yeah that's pretty much what happened, also yes Todd was at the very least present during the aftermath of Austin's murder, but being the boss and with the amount of pressure Henry was under, it was kept a secret, especially for the console sales blah blah blah, and honestly Todd had a little more respect for Austin and his death, whereas he had much less for Mike when he tried telling the boss about what happened, along with the fact that Mike had to see that whole mess, and even less respect for Henry since he just showed his entire death to the whole workspace, which understandably made nothing much better and made Mike feel horrible, yeah Jonathan's not too happy either and you can guess why

I honestly don't know how Kyle manages to get Sam's contact info in canon, maybe I forgor but I just ?? But we'll go with it, I was thinking for this AU that maybe Jonathan had some sort of yard sale or something, trying to get rid of a bunch of old stuff him and Kyle don't use or don't need, or items that have memories attached to them that he no longer wants to hang around, and he gets Kyle's Wii cause he assumes he no longer wants the old thing, considering he now has another Wii and a Wii U amongst other consoles, and Kyle finds out later on, after it's already been sold to a mother and her daughter who saw the Wii and begged her mother to get it, needless to say, Kyle isn't happy, idk but I guess he could somehow get names and info from that but yeah, anyway, he contacts Sam, he tells the story, from his view, which is portraying eteled as some reckless or anger filled monster, and Sam doesn't believe it or see it, Kyle says he wants the Wii but doesn't say why, cause he knows she'll decline, but she declines anyway because she finds Kyle to be untrustworthy and tells him that "Well, not my problem that you decided to give your console away, it's mine now, I used part of my money to pay for it, and I honestly don't feel that I can trust your story right now" before eventually blocking him

^And then we know how that goes because she later wants them to talk and all that jazz

Sam had made her own Mii in the Wii so she could not only play as herself, but so it could possibly be comforting for her friend, especially when she had to leave like going somewhere or needing to go to school

^eteled kinda finds the other Miis to be uncanny at times but wouldn't admit it, and he lowkey feels panic go through him when he sees Kyle's old Mii still sometimes popping up and around whenever eteled goes and plays some games in Wii Sports, as if it's messing with him

And ah yes the moment of truth when Kyle is invited over to talk with eteled, and it goes how you'd expect it to, eteled tries to explain himself again, Kyle stands his ground, a fight ensues, eteled starts getting pissed and then Austin shows up, so the whole situation is almost exactly the same, Austin wants to get his ultimate revenge, not caring if the Wii will die because of it, and bam, it goes as planned, except for the fact that Sam manages to save the Wii from permanent damage, (idk if I want it to still be the ice method or maybe another way but she gets the job done) and you can understand the shock (no pun intended) when eteled and Austin are kinda in there just waiting to fade away and nothing happens at all, like "Uhhhh.. we're still here?"

^Also it's because of this event that not only does eteled lose some bits of his memory either permanently or for a long while, he also gets pretty corrupted, you don't see it when he's just chilling normally, but it shows whenever he gets really scared, and only becomes worse the worse his fear is, like fight or flight levels is a full on corruption mess, messy textures, (often) twitchy movement, along with a stuttery/distorted voice and all, so it's why his SF state is kinda all over the place if you know what he looks like in it, he's usually pretty vulnerable and hides away when like this but there's times when he can get aggressive and almost zombie like if he's too deep into it so ya never know, yes he has chased Austin before while like this which is funny but I mean it makes sense, imagine the person you're stuck with just starts acting weird in the dark ass space and starts running around and even chasing you, not even mentioning that they were your murderer, absolute nightmare for the big guy, it's like having a raccoon raid your home, imagine exacting your revenge on someone and because of that they have random chances to just become much more scary and maybe even more powerful than you are

^And yes the corruption is painful so eteled is just in more pain than what's normal for him, and it is possible for him to just fuckin lose his eyes or parts of himself while corrupted cause the code just goes absolutely bonkers during this form, he usually doesn't carry his axe with him if he's in ultimate locked on target mode, but sometimes he will and that is just ten times more dangerous for Austin, but it's not often at all cause he mostly carries it when he's more clear headed or scared and is using it for defense

After lots and lots of time, after the events of the Wii being saved, and Sam getting to know Austin, Kyle and Nathan a bit better, she tries to at the very least have everyone make peace with each other and get along, especially eteled and Austin, even though she is still unaware of their past (not for long), but it does start working, Sam, Nat and Kyle all start forming a friend group, and the two Miis, while struggling, do start getting sorta better, and even hang out sometimes on their own, when they feel comfortable enough to do so, they got some sort of connection going on there that they themselves can't even understand, they usually play sports together when the other three are out or are doing some form of work

^They technically knew each other longer than they originally thought since they were around each other and even talked a little as young kids, but even they forgot most details of that and when they switched schools they quickly became strangers, so yeah, childhood friends to strangers to coworkers to enemies to whatever the hell they are now

^Austin is gay as hell so yes the flirting never stayed in the days that he worked in the office, because after many, maaany years in the Wii, after getting along pretty well and having some sort of friendship grow between them, Austin of course starts doing it subtly again, not even sure why he's doing it himself, and eteled still doesn't understand or pick up on any of it, feeling like the guy is trying to gaslight him or some shit "Nah uh I know what you're up to, I've been through that same song and dance many times before"

Will and Sam make up and become pretty cool hang out buddies, Sam even reintroduces eteled and Will, by request of Will, cause he wants to talk and apologize for messing with the guy, and in turn eteled apologies for scaring him, but Will, now that he's older and looks back on it with more of a laugh, he actually thought it was pretty cool, that fact that the guy could pretty much just spook people outta the blue, although he was a little creeped out by it even now, overall they're on good terms

Jonathan is obviously torn so he's got the board in his basement and everything, and he works on it all the time, but each day he just grows more and more frustrated, not understanding why some of the evidence isn't making much sense, he knows Henry is guilty but some things aren't lining up perfectly or are just missing

Mike and Henry were literally close besties for years, worked by each other's sides, and even invited each other to their apartments, sometimes Henry would stick around and chill at his bestie's place for a few days, although Henry lives alone and usually likes it that way so it's not all the time, one big part being because of noise since he's learned to become very sensitive to it, he jumps and shivers at the sound of footsteps and creaking floors, hell even his own sometimes scare him, but Mike and him are very close, and have been through a lot together

I haven't figured everything out yet but somehow someway Mike finds out about Sam, and how she wants him to come over after hearing that he's eteled's old buddy, and when he comes over he learns everything, and him and eteled/Henry have a moment of being reunited and knowing that the other is okay, or at least kinda okay, Sam knows that Mike is trustworthy and obviously knows eteled from a different and much wider perspective than she does, so she allows him to come over and for the guys to talk and just update each other on things, as weird as it may look with some grown man talking to a little figure on a television, she can tell that they're happy to see one another again, they did talk about what had happened, about Austin's death, without Sam around, even though she knows everything already at this point and had already talked to Kyle, Austin, Nat and especially eteled about it, and while the news did definitely hit Mike straight in the gut, he also knew that it wasn't something Henry had planned or did without some sort of influence, he just felt it, not that it made it any better, but it had been years, no point in getting angry, he kinda figured Henry had something to do with it, but knew that it wasn't just that alone, and was too scared to say anything much sooner, so he sorta sympathizes with him, knowing they were both pushed beyond limits from their job and especially their boss, and that they're both in the wrong, although still holding Henry accountable for doing what he did, especially to Jonathan's brother, he wasn't gonna let him go off easy on that, but he doesn't hate Henry, and it shocks eteled that Mike even still cares about him after everything the guy went through during those times, but he appreciates it, and it seems like they still have a friendship going on

Jonathan is also informed about his brother, but this is done at a different time, later on after Mike and eteled reunited because Sam knew that this was gonna be a whole lot harder, Jonathan was Austin's brother, so it's needless to say how heavy this was gonna be, unbeknownst to Sam that Jonathan was already trying to get all the evidence to finally prove Henry guilty, even though the guy was dead and gone, at least as far as he knew, she also knew that this was gonna be hard for Austin and Kyle, who would both be present when Jonathan would come over, Sam debates whether she should even say anything and potentially reopen an old wound, but she goes ahead and only informs him about Austin, not eteled because she fears how Jonathan will react, especially if he connects the dots and realizes it's Henry

eteled is the only damn soul who knows exactly, in detail, what had happened after Austin's death and how he was talked down to and also threatened into keeping it on the down low, he and Mike are also the only ones who know just how bad they've been treated and how worse it can really get, but eteled hasn't told anybody, not a single person about any of it, other than when him and Mike used to comfort each other and talk about work issues, back when eteled was alive, he just tells no one now, not even when explaining himself and the past and what had happened between him and Austin, he just takes the full blame, half because of heavy guilt and the other half because he's terrified, even though the guy is miles away from that work building, is literally dead, is nowhere near his boss, his boss not even thinking about him anymore most likely, he still had that fear driven into him that if he said something that he'd be in trouble or that something terrible would happen, even though he's in a Wii and nobody can or would really do anything to him besides Austin, he still fears people in his past life, he also wouldn't wanna bring up all of the hidden info like "Hey my boss had a part in this" and have it turned down as if he were trying to take away some blame from himself, which he wouldn't be but is scared to come off that way

^Literally nobody would think like that or would treat eteled that way if he brought it up, but the guy thinks they would

A bit of a more light one, eteled and Austin have sort of made a day and night cycle for the Mii Channel, the light is more tame cause it can become blinding normally, and when people are resting or when it's around the time it would be dark outside, judging by the console's clock, then it would get darker and be more comfy

^Not to be confused with when the Channel just goes full on feral mode and gets pitch black dark or starts changing color cause that's usually Austin or eteled fucking with the atmosphere, like eteled causing it to go super dark like in SF sometimes when he's super upset or even "I'm gonna hunt you down" levels of corrupted

Henry had pretty great relationships with his bro and cousins, and he just hopes now that they're all okay, which they are, his cousins, Jane, Faith and Ellie are actively looking into the info and trying to figure out what really happened to their cousin, and his bro I haven't exactly figured out what to do with him yet aside from trying to do the same thing, but maybe being more exhausted and considering moving on cause living in the past is painful for him, and he is just not getting the right leads or ones that are pleasant, and doesn't wanna face the truth that his older sibling could've killed someone

Oh yeah, in current time, with the Wii already being saved years ago, everyone sorta getting along now and everything following after, everyone is pretty much grown up and are adults, so they work and are a tad less energetic as they were as teens, a tad I say because Kyle and Nathan are still hyper guys but they are having fun

Kyle and Nathan are besties to lovers, Will is gay but just hasn't found someone right yet so he vibes around, Sam isn't even sure what she is, she just feels happy on her own and likes spending time with the group she considers a family, Mike isn't sure what he is either but he does like Jonathan a little bit, Austin is bisexual and you can just tell by his energy alone /lh, first person to ever know about him being bi was his mom who is also bi so she just immediately is very accepting of him, and Henry/eteled seriously doesn't understand romantic love or how it works or what it truly looks or feels like, he doesn't even understand general love that much and is trying to learn it, so he doesn't even know what he would really be attracted to, he's just a trans guy sitting in his corner, only people he ever told about him being trans to was his mom when he was trying to understand himself (and she was a great woman so she tried to help him in his journey, while she was present at least) and Sam later on when they both got closer, other people had to kinda figure it out, aside from Austin who never knew for the longest time but was told by eteled later on when they've been in the Wii for a while, so Austin was one of the last ones to know

Mike had taken care of young Kyle from time to time, like when being invited over and/or if Jonathan had to go out real quick to attend to business or grab something

Sam does sometimes take eteled and Austin out to places when she learns to transfer them across devices, she also lets them occasionally mess around in Tomodachi Life whenever she comes back to play on it for memories, it always ends in some funny chaos and it's all around a nice time for everyone, or mostly everyone

eteled tries to play fair but sometimes he lets himself slip and accidentally go god mode again, or will get bored and just do it for fun, and Sam will cross her arms and look at him like "eteled I told you no more cheating" and he'd just roll his eyes saying "I'm sorryyy, it was an accident"

Henry immediately regretted what he did after he murdered Austin, and couldn't think of anything else for days and was miserable over it, even though Austin had seen him multiple times by watching from computer screens, the guy being in such a miserable state, he felt it was an act or something, and it only fueled Austin's anger, he wanted the guy dead, more than just dead, he wanted him to suffer endlessly, just when Austin was finally getting somewhere and was about to prove to the world that he existed and that he was special, it was taken from him, so he's gonna take something from Henry, Austin can't accept that Henry is sorry at all, he doesn't believe he is, and so he brings the guy down with him, making sure that it hurt (they're both assholes your honor)

Also yes Henry's mom was a bit emo, with some punk baddie in the mix, like mother like son

Wow this is long and I didn't even talk about everything else or go into more detail, but yeah I don't wanna make this overwhelmingly long so I'll stop here before I go on all night long because I've already been typing for some hours now

If I think of anything else I might edit this or make a different post about it but yeah thx for listening to me ramble on and on and on

#You are BANNED from the Mii Channel !! Security alert security alert !! #Sam: *holding some creepy ass mf in her hands* this little guy is my friend look at him dance #eteled: listen kid I know you think I'm like cool or whatever but please leave me be #also eteled: Anybody who messes with my friend/daughter dies. no exceptions. #Austin is sentenced to Gay Baby Jail #if you squint you can probably see the inspiration from Security Breach in parts of this #eteled: They all hated me because I was too real for them #eteled running around blindly because his eyes either glitched outta existence or are filled with so much crap that he can't see #that or they like. start melting. again #mf just starts running into things #Kyle was a little bit of trouble for Mike since he'd always go 'Father said I can't do this' 'You shouldn't do that' or 'I can't eat this' #so you can understand his frustration like 'Aye you eat this mac and cheese or not I ain't making ya anything else' #and Kyle admits defeat. looking away 'Okay..' #eteled sees his mom in Sam quite often #I would say what happened to the mom but I am suddenly a gatekeeper and as such am gatekeeping that info until further notice #Henry wants to move away from home the moment he legally can and run with the opportunity but he needs to be there for his little bro #they grow a bit distant especially into adulthood so they go separate ways. and that's another reason Henry lives alone. #Will is like 'Ayoo when you jumpscared me? that was sick man pfft just please don't do it again' *sweats* #Probably the only ones who aren't effected by eteled's/Henry's deathly glares and anger is Sam Mike and sometimes Austin #Sam and Mike are kinda obvious since he never is upset with them to that degree so they get the safe pass #and they were/are usually the ones to help him settle down if they catch him getting really angry #Austin after realizing he was murdered just filled with so much hurt and rage #Austin's revenge arc coming in like 'You're sorry? You're sorry ! hah ! .. you're not sorry. but that's okay. you don't have to be.' #The world hates Henry Morris #okay I think I am done for now I'm gonna go play Splatoon ty for reading I now take my leave #wdy #wii deleted you #au

[evilvarric666-archive]

This is gonna be long, so sorry in advance, but as someone who enjoys long fics here are my two cents:

I get why some ppl may not want 75 tags in fics, but this is gonna hurt long fic writers. On a long fic there are probably gonna be more relationships that are central to the plot that aren't the main ship. And side pairings that may be a squick to some ppl. Not to mention trigger warnings and tone tags.

For example: a long fic with the pairing Y x Z. Z had an abusive relationship, and that's gonna be explored. So the author tags abusive relationship, bc that's a trigger, but an explanation next tag saying "not current ship" or smth.

Then Y has very important friendships with some of the cast. These are central to the plot so they're tagged too.

Turns out, character W is controversial in the fandom, but they're central to the fic too. The author is gonna tag after the character tag W positive/negative; so ppl who don't wanna see positive/negative things about W can skip this.

And guess what? Ship A x B appears in this fic too. Maybe it's not that central, but this ship is also disliked by some people, so the author will tag it, so ppl can filter through.

Another problem is with media that has different mediums, like, the media Y, Z, etc are from has movies, and books, and games and a tv show. All these things actually have different stories, different enough at least that ppl may only want to see fics written for the movies! But the author wants to take plot from the movies and the books. So instead of just tagging the all media tag for that media, they also tag media (movies) and media (books)

These tags end up accumulating. And especially in long fics. The author could make the first chapter a list of tws and stuff that they keep updating, but that destroys the purpose of ao3 tags: you can't filter content like that, you can only filter tags.

I honestly think they should just find a way to delete the fics with the trolling tags, or make a readmore thing so it doesn't hurt the browsing. At the very least make the tag limit longer.

sorry in advance that this is going to be rambly and weird. I have a lot of thoughts.

I get where you're coming from but I also still disagree. Like it's definitely going to change the way longfic writers tag, but I really don't think it's going to hurt them. I think it's going to encourage more effective tagging and that that's going to be better for everybody in the long run. If anything, I think that overtagging is what's hurting longfic writers, it makes their works look unappealing, and actually important information gets buried in a wall of text.

i will admit though that I do understand better now why less room for trigger tagging is going to be an issue. My preferred tagging style is "General/umbrella warnings in the tags, with whatever elaboration/specifics the author deems necessary in an author's note/author's notes at the beginning of each chapter" (example: "animal death" in the tags, so that the filters catch it + people who can't handle the subject At All know to keep scrolling, and then the author's note specifying that its in the context of game hunting & not a pet death, so that people who were uncertain and needed more info could click in and get the specifics.) and I thought that preference was pretty universal? But apparently a lot of people use the tags as an exhaustive list of warnings, which I didn't know because when I see a work with more than, well with more than 75 tags, I just start scrolling until it's gone.

(this is a tangent and I get that my experiences are not universal. but I genuinely dislike full warning lists in the tags because, for me at least, it makes it harder for me to figure out if the story is something I can/want to read. The things I Really Do Not Want To Read about are rare, and rarely tagged the same way twice, so the exclusion filter isn't really helpful for me. I have to actually read the full list of warnings and if the things I'm looking for are sandwiched inbetween a bunch of trope/character tags in a big wall o text I am going to miss it. This has happened to me multiple times.)

I think that that's an ineffective tagging style, basically. Lots of tags is kind of the opposite of useful tags, imo. Short, to the point and consistently worded warnings are better and I think having less space will encourage people to do that. I understand why people do this other style, though, and also why it would frustrate them that they can no longer do that. I think it really sucks that ao3 let everyone wild west their website for so long that it managed to spawn like three distinct groups of people who all use the website in completely incompatible ways, and now it's at the point where any new rule implemented is going to screw a lot of people over no matter what. But I digress.

Anyways, as long as someone isn't putting Revolutionary Girl Utena levels of warnings in their tags (and if your fic needs that much... maybe you should just put yur top 10 biggest warnings on there and slap a Dead Dove Do Not Eat on the end there, yknow?), I think that 75 tags will fully accommodate them. I get that tags start adding up, but also I think a lot of people are underestimating how many tags 75 tags is.

Like to just add up how many tags are used in your example: three / pairing tags, lets go crazy and say three more & pairing tags, tag every character tag in those pairings that's twelve, #abusive relationship + #not main pairing tags, three fandom tags bc multiple source mediums, a #[controversial character] positive tag... that's 24 tags. Like all the necessary character & pairing tags are handled in less than a third of the space given (and personally I consider this slightly over tagged. I think the only character tags you should put on a fic are the very mainest/pov characters, but yknow) and honestly if you can't then figure out a way to communicate the rest of the necessary information about your fic in 51 tags and a 1250 character summary then I really don't know how to help you. I personally would have to really push myself to figure out how to put more than 75 tags on one fic, regardless of the length of the fic. And I can't help but notice that a lot of the fics I could find with over 75 tags while searching last night had a lot of... unnecessary duplicate tags, often for information that could've been easily otherwise intuited (tagging #mandolorian #mandolore #mandolorian character and #mandolorian culture on a Jango Fett pre-series fic, for example)

I do have some criticisms about the current change though. I think it would've been better to have individual tag number limits for each individual field (x number of fandom tags, x number of character tags, etc.) instead of a 75 tags over all limit (or make a "warning tags" field that's separate from "additional tags" but that's a separate essay and would... probably mean overhauling the whole site. so not very practical.) A readmore option would be good too, and I'm not sure why they didn't go for that? I also think that this change will be most effective if done in combination with other changes. Like posting very loosely or not at all enforced official tagging/style guides for the site. I really think that even a tepid attempt at standardization will increase the site's usability like, A Lot.

I'm not sure how cohesive that was. TL;DR I appreciate hearing your thoughts, mine are that I still think this is a step in the right direction. And that cutting back on overtagging will lead to more concise, effective tagging which will make browsing and filtering easier in the long run.

#ao3 tag

[1doll-4u]

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐗: 𝐎𝐍𝐄 — 𝐁𝐍𝐇𝐀

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: everyone x fem! reader (basically)

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 1,581

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: angst, fluff

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: you download an otome game called, ‘paradox’ and become addicted to the game. the longer you play, the more you realize that the game isn’t as normal as it seems.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: cussing, violence, gore, sexual situations/smut (not in this chapter), possible triggers, horrible writing, underage sex, rape/non-con, character deaths, sexual content, age differences, etc.

𝐀/𝐍: lowercase intended + this is short but the chapters will get longer as you continue to read, don’t worry ~

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: i’ll be making a tag list for anyone who wants to be updated/notified of when i post! please comment or send an ask if you would like to be tagged!

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 | 𝐎𝐍𝐄 | 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 | 𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈 | 𝐁𝐍𝐇𝐀 — 𝐌. 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

𝐊𝐄𝐘:

[ ✉️ ] - in game (chat requests)

[ 💌 ] - in game (narration)

[ 📨 ] - status notification

[ 🕊 ] - in game texts

[ ⌛️ ] - hourglass (more) — [ ⏳ ] - hourglass (less)

[ 🔮 ] - magic (given)

[ 🥀 ] - curse (given)

[ 🌺 ] - gift (given)

[ 💕 ] - like — [ 💞 ] - love

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓

"you need to download the app, pleaseee, i need to talk about these hot boys with someone," your friend pleaded through the phone.

you sigh in defeat, finally giving in. she has been bugging you to download some otome game called, 'paradox' for the past few days.

"fine, but if it's horrible and the guys are ugly i'll delete it."

"it isn't horrible i promise, and the guys are realllyyy cute in the game."

"i'll text you after i play it, okay?"

"you better."

you end the call and open the app store, looking up the app. you find the app pretty quickly because of it's stark differences from the other otome games.

the icon is a plain white clock with a black background and the preview pictures didn't even show any of the love interests. the pictures are just screenshots of some chats and strange quotes with clocks on them.

no wonder only forty people have played it.

currently it's 3 AM for you but you don't care for sleep. besides, talking to (hopefully) hot fictional guys does sound appealing.

once the app finishes downloading you tap on the icon to open it. a notification pops up and tells you that you have to update the app first.

isn't the update supposed to go along with downloading it? stupid phone.

you go back to the app store and press update. within a few seconds the app is updated and you open it.

your screen turns black for a second before fading out to reveal a boy with green hair, eyes, and a pale complexion.

꒰ 💌 ꒱

"do you have any pictures of you as a baby?" the green haired boy asks while scanning your room again only to find no pictures of little you.

"i think they are in the attic, i'm not sure.." you answer, not paying much mind to him as you continue to play on your phone.

the boy lets out a huff and jumps on you, crushing you with his body weight. "i want to see them, let's go to the attic and find them," he insists.

"fine! just get off of me first," you exclaim, roughly pushing off the boy who is two times your size. the freckled boy gets off of you quickly, he was practically bouncing from excitement. you weren't sure what he was so excited about. both of you were just going to find your baby pictures.

once you stood up your friend was pulling you out of the door and urging you to lead you both to the attic. you never understood how he could be so energetic all the time.

"izuku, can you pull the string? i can't reach it."

the boy does so without objection. a short staircase appears before the two of you when pulling the string. you enter first with izuku following after.

"you can check those boxes on the right while i check the boxes on the left," you suggest. he nods and begins searching.

"i really hope we find them, i want to see some cute baby pictures of you," izuku admits, feverishly looking through each box.

you ignore him and the warmth spreading across your cheeks. izuku has always said sweet things to you but you still haven't gotten use to it.

you push the box you looked through away to get to another box when something catches your eye. the wall in front of you has a faint outline of a..door? it was quite small.

you touch the outline of it with the tip of your fingers, rubbing off the dust that was hiding it. your parents never told you that there was a secret room in the house. did they even know that there was one?

"izuku, i found something." you couldn't look away from the door for some reason. it had this sort of pull to it. your hands were itching to open it.

"did you find the pictures?" izuku walks toward your sitting figure, hope brightening his eyes.

"no..but i found this secret door. let's try to open it," you look for any sort of knob or handle only to find none. there is a faint outline of a keyhole though, it was covered with wallpaper.

"i really wanted to see those pictures but they can wait..how should we open it?" izuku takes a seat next to you and scoots closer to the door to examine it. "ow!"

"what's wrong?"

"this loose nail just snipped me," izuku points at the loose nail and board in front of him. there was a small glint of something underneath the loose board.

you pull the old board off to find a aged key underneath it. "wow- you unintentionally found it without even trying."

you turned your attention back on the small outline of the door and scratch away at the wallpaper with the key until it fully went in. it was difficult turning the key but with some help from izuku you both managed to do it. an audible click sounds and the small door opens outward.

inside is complete darkness. you are hesitant to peak your head in because you are afraid of some sort of insect jumping on you.

"can you find us a flashlight? i don't think it's a good idea for us to go in without one.." you explain. one part of you didn't want to go in and the other did.

you felt both excited and scared of what could possibly be discovered. izuku hands you a flashlight after a few short minutes of searching and you click it on, slowly entering the little room first on all fours. izuku follows you without hesitation.

"i'm surprised it isn't dusty in here and infested with insects by now," you said, continuing onward with a little more energy than before now that you don't have to worry about possibly getting attacked by spiders.

it felt like the room or more like tunnel was never ending. the walls being a pitch black didn't help that thought. after what felt like twenty minutes of endless crawling, you notice light peeking out from another door a few meters from you.

you quickly crawl to it and push as hard as you could. the door finally caving in when the both of you pushed your weight on it.

izuku falls out of the door and tumbled onto the ground ungracefully with you. the both of you stood up, stretching your limbs and dusting off your clothes.

"how did we get here?" taking in your surroundings you knew immediately that you both aren't at your house. the room the two of you are in is lavished in decorative furniture. the walls are a creamy white and the furniture has a complimenting black and white color scheme. it looks like something out of a fairy tail.

"this is weird," izuku looks around, equally confused. how did you get here? how could that small door connect to this room?

you noticed the room had another door. the room didn't look like it was just one room. you open the door a few inches wide and take a peek outside. you couldn't believe it.

outside of the door, was a wide hallway with many other doors aligning the walls. everything just as decorative as the room.

"this can't be real!" you open the door wide and leave the room, izuku following. "this doesn't make sense.."

the two of you marvel at your new surroundings, it was like you both got sucked into a fantasy book.

you were so immersed in your surroundings that you didn't even hear a pair of foot steps approaching.

a body crashes into yours causing you to fall harshly on your back.

"i-i'm so sorry! please forgive me..(l/n)? oh this is bad- i'm truly sorry!" a blue haired boy with long droopy bunny ears apologizes profusely. he extends a hand out for you and you take it hesitantly.

his whole appearance is quite unique. rich dark blue hair, pale skin (though it's crimson now, most likely from embarrassment), long bunny ears that are a shade darker than his hair, and troubled indigo eyes. wait, how did he know my name?

-

wait, how did he know your name? you never entered your name in the game..unless it synced with your Apple ID..

꒰ 💌 ꒱

"it's okay, really.." you didn't really know what else to say. the poor bunny boy looks like he's going to break down and cry any moment. it oddly makes you feel sympathetic for him.

the strange boy's eyes look you up and down, seemingly checking if you are injured in anyway. it is pretty endearing.

"i'm sorry again i, uh i..." bunny boy averts his eyes to his watch and jolts up, tapping his foot nervously, "oh no, i'm late! the prince is going to be really mad..we should go now, please follow me."

without looking back, bunny boy starts to walk away. prince? could they just be some weird cosplayers? sense bunny boy could give you more answers you follow him with izuku.

"i don't know if we should trust him.." izuku whispers to you before giving bunny boy a quick glance.

-

what will you say?

‣ "he doesn't seem harmful.."

‣ "yeah, you're right..but he seems to know what's going on."

-

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: n/a

#boku no hero academia x reader #boku no hero academia #boku no hero academia fanfiction #bnha #bnha fanfic #bnha fanfiction #bnha fandom #my hero academia fanfiction #my hero academia x reader #my hero academia fandom #my hero academia fantasy au #mha x reader #bnha x reader #mha fanfiction #mha fanfic #midoriya izuku #midoriya x reader #todoroki x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #todoroki shouto #aizawa x reader #mha aizawa shouta #monoma x reader #shigaraki x reader #interactive fiction #kaminari x reader #DOMHONI - POST #DOMHONI - SHORT STORIES #DOMHONI - NECTAR

[rebelcap]

We are not just friends —Part 14

Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a people of color, she's brown.)

Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.  

Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use (weed), assault, Chris being Steve Rogers, commitment issues, my girl Sofia kinda messy, lots of fucking (eventually) 

This is slow burn at its best, at least emotionally. 

Series masterlist

"We haven't spoken on a while, I hurtled him, he was in love with me and I told him all that awful shit," Sofia answered Mandy when she asked if she's been talking to Chris. "Never apologized properly and basically broke up over a text. It's okay though, it's the best for him."

Mandy stayed quiet for a bit, looking at the road ahead while she drove to a doctor's appointment, there were going to get the baby's gender and she was going to keep the secret and go the whole baby reveal the gender. 

"I think he's seeing someone," Mandy told her and Sofia blinked. 

"Oh," 

"He's coming over this weekend, to the party." 

"Oh," 

"Say something more than oh?"

"I don't know what to say, alright. I can deal with it, I'm a big girl." Sofia said as her hands just started sweating out of nervousness. 

"Sure, looks like it. Big girl fucking sweating," Amanda pointed out and Sofia gives her a look. 

"Thanks for letting me know though," She said and sigh. "I'm getting so fucking drunk, I love you but I'm gonna be hammered enough for people to avoid me." 

"You can deal with whatever you want to, baby. I'm giving you a free pass," Amanda told her. "Dad still pretty stingy about me pregnant, so he's probably gonna be there drinking with you."

"He's excited, but he still sees you as your little girl, I mean, he probably it's picturing Luke cumming inside you." She laughed as Amanda hit her. 

"You're fucking disguising, ugh!" She punches her in her arm and her leg and then laughed. "It's probably true," 

They laughed together and after they leave the appointment Sofia couldn't stop crying when she saw the little peanut moving inside of her best friend. 

"Oh my fucking God, I'm so fucking emotional," She was sobbing as they climbed the car once again. 

"Don't you dare to fucking say it," Amanda threaten her as she started the car. "Don't, don't. Or yes, oh my fucking God tell me—" She turned to look at her. 

"You made me promise, I can't—you tell me this was gonna happen." Sofia laughed as she wipes her tears. "It's only two days, you'll be fine," She waves her off. 

"Two days, I can do that. Yes, sure. I can." 

~~~

She hasn't really had time to sat down and process what Mandy had told her in the car, Chris coming and he's seeing someone, that she thinks he's seeing someone. 

She was sitting cross-legged on the fluffy carpet as she eyed her cellphone, old messages between them still there and she types a 

—Hey Chris, heard you're back 

She didn't press send, it was just sitting there. Staring back at her, bold black letters getting bigger. 

"I shouldn't, God I shouldn't." She said to herself and grabbed her phone and deleted the text, reading the last text he sent. 

—I'm doing good, Sof, thanks for asking. 

God, that was cold and made her cry, I deserve it. She never went around to answer him, he never texted something else, that was two months ago. 

"What I'm doing?" She asked herself she read and still re-read the text. "He's seeing someone," 

With a sigh she let her cellphone on the carpet and get on dressing herself for the party, it was the engagement party slash gender reveal, so it was a huge thing. Everyone was coming, friends, family. 

She started drinking while getting ready, she was officially living alone for the past month because Mandy was living with her soon to be husband as she should be and she was pregnant, closer to her parents and Luke's family. Everything was going so great for everyone else and she felt like shit for the past four-month, depressed was an understatement.

Still, she made the party just in time. Carrying the cake she made with the stupid pink or blue gender reveal. Heels clicking on the floor as she made way between the people, stopping every two seconds saying hello to someone. 

It was draining, she wasn't in the mood to speak with everyone. Her hands were sweating as she played with the hem of her pretty pink bodycon dress and locked herself in the mirror, stressed, depressed, and about to see the guy you broke his heart and know she's probably in love with him. 

"Fuck my life," She mutter at herself in the mirror and grabbed the beer she was nursing, officially she was tipsy. 

More people were coming in and the place was slowly but steady was getting crowded, music was playing on the background. Sofia spotted Amanda and Luke, speaking with people kissing and hugging each other. She couldn't help but smile, they so deserve each other. 

"Holy shit," She heard a voice, and a pair of hands slide on her waist and pulled her back. "You look fucking gorgeous, never knew that pink was your color." It was Scott, placing a kiss on her cheek as she laughed. 

"Never used it, guess is a special occasion," She smiles posing at the same time. "I'm so glad you could make it," 

"I told you I'll be here," 

"Yeah, he's here isn't he?" Sofia asked and Scott changed his face for a second. 

"He is but he didn't come alone," Scott said as Sofia looked at him. "I was very vocal that he shouldn't come with her because it wasn't fair to you and it's very recent but she was supposed to go back to LA this afternoon but her flight got delayed for tomorrow morning—" 

Sofía ears were ringing as Scott keep explaining how Chris came with another woman, this is it—whatever little figment of hope that maybe Chris felt something for her still was light on fire, destroy. It was gone. 

"Okay," Sofia said looking at him. "It's fine I don't care." She shrugged, she did care, she obviously did care. "You want a drink?, I need a drink and there are these little things," Sofia made a gesture. "They're tiny but delicious."

Scott was amazed at the state of denial she had quickly reach, of course, he was going to play along. This wasn't the time to get her to talk. 

~~~

It was hard for not seeing her in the crowd, little pink dress running around always with a drink in her hand. Chris felt his stomach turn around all the time he catches sight of her. 

"Hey maaaan," He heard Luke's voice calling him and Chris smile, giving each other a hug. "Mandy is mad as hell, you prepare yourself." Luke laughed and Chris sigh. 

Oh he knew, he knew. 

"Yeah, I gather she'll be…" Chris said and looked at the girl beside him that was mingling like a pro, chatting with people.

"Chris!," Mandy said with a smile appearing from nowhere, the smile was there but the murderous look couldn't be hidden. 

"Hey Mand, looking good as ever," He embraces her and she whispered on his ear. "I'm going to fucking kill you," She laughed and grabbed his arms. 

Chris grabbed her hand and walked her to a little more private part, they needed to talk this out. 

"I didn't want to bring her, she wasn't even supposed to be here. I'm sorry," Chris said and Mandy looked at him. 

"I understand that I do. And it's okay, you don't wanna be an asshole she probably doesn't deserve that but," She took a breath." but not long ago you were crying in my fucking couch of how much you love that girl over there that's barely holding it together since all of this exploded, crying at every stupid thing and dealing with her guilt,"

"She broke out with me over text, Amanda. Basically told me that I wasn't important enough, didn't want to talk things out. She ended it," 

"She's in love with you. Sofia is in love with you and she doesn't know how to approach you to talk things out. She's awkward because she wants to do things right by you, dude." Amanda explained and Chris put both hands on his head,  "And them me being pregnant, getting married and I moved out. I know she's happy for me and it's rooting for me but there's a lot of change," Amanda said wiping her tears. "I know she feels left out and now you showed up to my engagement party with someone else while my best friend is literally trying to get it together." 

"Baby, we gotta keep going," Luke appeared, and Amanda sigh, walking away with her fiancé. 

~~~

Both are idiots, you guys agree?

Tag list:

@smediumsmeatbae

@lunaticbarnes

@firstangeldragonranch

@lovepeacefood

@thegirlwithpaperheart

#chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x latina! #chris evans x poc!reader #chris evans x ofc #chris evans x reader #Chris Evans x you #Chris Evans imagine #chris evans x original female character #Chris Evans angst

[nocherryblood]

PLEASE REBLOG FOR AWARENESS- S*X BOTS:

So, only recently, in the past week I've been getting a lot (and a lot, for my blogs, is six) of random followers, and it was making me a little suspicious, so in the end I just decided to check everything out and see what was going on.

I mean, did a post of mine do really well or something? Did someone tag me a bunch of times? Did someone reblog something?

NO.

I checked who had followed me recently, and, low and behold, it was: bots! How great.

But what was even worse, was that these were s*x bots (I'm censoring some words to keep my blog somewhat safe). S*x bots.

So since I've seen a lot of these over the past few weeks, I've decided to put together a little of what I've found. It's nothing new- and it's pretty much common knowledge- but hopefully it might help a few people out (especially since I'm one of many people who try to keep their blog safe from harmful, or 18+ content) and maybe even help keep some people a little safer here on Tumblr

So, here we go:

PROFILE PICTURES AND USERNAMES:

First of all, check the pfps and usernames. Sometimes they'll be something like "d3rtyg1rl", but not always. Other times it'll be something like "sangdori" or "jpi011" (those are two real accounts that followed me, I've just changed one or two of the letters in them)- so something that sounds like a regular Tumblr account to tebe average user. So if the username checks out as 'normal', the next thing to look at, is the profile picture.

These, similar to the usernames, and all the other things I'm going to mention, may seem normal at first. Some of them may be fluffy kittens (a lot of them are "generic"), others may be a seemingly innocent selfie, a few of them are just blank Tumblr and some are just... straight-up 18+ photos. So be aware that not all of them are going to be easy to spot right away.

LIKES, FOLLOWS AND UPLOADS:

Right, so now we've come to the part where you've checked out the usernames and profile pics, and they both show no signs of anything sinister. Good- now, if you're still suspicious, it's time to check the actual account itself.

The first thing you might want to take a look at, is the content they've uploaded, or in some cases haven't uploaded, onto their blog. This is where things can get deceiving. Many of these accounts have just one "generic" post- such as slime, kittens, glitter, etc (usually these are eye-catching things, which means it can draw people, especially children, in)- immediately followed by some sort of sexual content underneath that, usually in the form of a nude photo or p*rn (some are obscured, though most aren't), which catches you off-guard, to say the least.

Now, as I said before, not all of these bot accounts are the same. Some don't have any uploaded content at all- this is where checking their Likes page comes in.

(And I'm aware that this may sound like we're stalking someone's account at this point, but trust me, we're not. We're just trying to keep ourselves safe- and these are not people, remember, they're bots. Bots don't care, bots don't have feelings. Bots don't care if we block them). So, back to the point, the next thing we check is the Likes pages.

Now, some of these pages will be purely 18+ content, as you would expect. Just straight-up p*rn links, or nude photos. But others, however, seem innocent at first... that is, until you scroll down the page. Usually, it's just liked photos of (again, the generic, and eye-catching stuff) some cute animals, a GIF of slime, or a popular meme, but if you scroll down a little further underneath that, you'll see that same innapropriate content all over again.

Though again, as with all the other things I've mentioned, some of these liked pages seem fine upon inspection, which is where we move onto the final thing to check if what you're seeing is a bot account: the following page.

To be quite simple... this is where you'll need to look at a bunch of accounts all over again... hooray! If you find that some of the accounts seem suspicious from just looking at the pfps and usernames, then great, that usually means you know that the account you were originally looking at is a bot account, and you can block them and be done with it (and even if you're not entirely sure, blocking them will keep you safe, and besides, it doesn't hurt anyone- believe me, your safety takes 100% priority over having that one extra follower).

But, if you can't tell just by looking at them, and you're still suspicious, and you don't want to just block the original account you were looking at... then this would be the time do all of the above again (checking likes, following pages, and content) just to make sure.

If you don't find anything else suspicious, then congratulations, it's probably not a bot account, and you don't have to worry about it. But again, if you ARE worried, then PLEASE do just block and/or report, the account. It's better to have one less follower, than be unsafe, or have to feel uncomfortable.

SO, I THINK IT'S A BOT ACCOUNT, NOW WHAT?

Now, if you've been through all of the above, and/or you're pretty sure that what you've seen is a bot account, then it's time to either block it, or report it.

To block an account, simply tap on the little 'human/person' icon in the top right of that specific account, and tap 'block' (note: this will only report them from one of your blogs. If you want to block them from another, or all of your blogs, you'll have to add them to the block list for taht specific blog). To report someone instead, just tap 'report'.

So, you might be wondering: what's the difference between reporting someone and blocking them?

Well, I'll tell you as best as I can. Blocking someone means:

They won’t be able to follow your blog, or send you fan mails or asks to your blog, and they won't be able to see your blog’s posts in their Dashboard. In addition to that, neither will they be able to like, reblog, or reply to your posts, and your blog won’t show up in their search results. It's a really good option.

They'll still be able to read your posts if they somehow come across them, but they can't interact/reblog them- at all. The only way people would even know you've blocked them is if they find that they get denied permission to interact with your blog- but remember, the chances of the finding out that youve blocked them is VERY slim, if it even happens at all (though remember we're talking about bots here though, not actual people, I just thought it would be useful information to include anyway).

Alright, so now onto reporting someone. Reporting someone means that:

The account will receive an email stating that they've posted banned content and must take it down. Tumblr will then still automatically take it down, and the account either gets suspended or deleted.

I would say that reporting the s*x bots would be the best thing you can do in this situation (you can still block them afterwards), seeing as the account will hopefully then be taken down (instead of just blocked on your blog) after being reviewed, which could help keep Tumblr at least a little safer once it does.

And just in case you were wondering: no-one will know if you've reported their account. The only way they'll know they've been reported (and they won't know who reported them) is if their content gets taken down or if their account is deleted- so don't worry about people accusing you of reporting them, as Tumblr keeps it anonymous anyway.

(Again, I've only added that part as useful information, seeing as s*x bots aren't real people and therefore won't care if they've been blocked or reported.)

There's more information about reporting and blocking people, along with Tumblr's policies and guidelines here, if you need it:

https://iheartmob.org/resources/safety_guides/tumblr_guide

Right... so I think that just about covers everything I wanted to say. If there's anything I've gotten wrong, or you think you could add on to, just drop a note or reblog this to help. After all, I don't know everything about these s*x bots, and just writing from my experience and what I've noticed about them. So help and/or additional information would be greatly appreciated.

I'm just fed up of seeing them everywhere and them making me think I've got a new follower who's actually interested in the blogs I make, when it's actually just a not trying to take me to some random p*rn website. It's wrong. So I just decided to write about my frustrations.

Now, Tumblr, if you could please sort your shit out, that'd be great, thank you very much, and we can all get on with our day.

If you've read this far, thank you very much for your time, and I hope I've managed to help you at least somewhat when it comes to dealing with these types of things in the future, or maybe just given you a little more awareness about how to stay safe on Tumblr, and other similar sites.

Anyway, I hope y'all have a wonderful day, and that you stay safe. Happy new year, too! 💛💙

#awareness #f*cking bots and where to find them #yeah #that was a pun #I'm sorry #reblog #spread the word about these #bots #please help #others find this #safe #issues #Tumblr #report #and block #any potential #please #oh #and #Happy New Year #by the way #2021 #is here

[attilarrific]

Saw a rec for your Hidden Track fic but am getting a little discouraged since the chrono masterpost link doesn't work, the tags don't show the very first one, and my phone refreshes every time I scroll too far. Also I think I read in an ask response that when you were trying to update some of the older hidden track tags things got deleted. Is that why I can't find them?

Hmm. Not sure why the chrono link isn’t working for you, because it’s working fine for me? (It is a link to the tag in chronological order, so we’re clear, not a link to a masterpost. There isn’t a masterpost! Since I write in exact chronological order, and there isn’t that much of it, it never seemed that relevant.) The first one is this, in case it’s just not particularly clear from the post itself---this wasn’t meant to be a verse when it started, people just liked it, so I went, “yeah, sure, why not?”

I will say that that post has, like............five installments of Hidden Track linked at the bottom before I got too lazy to update each individual post with the other bits and pieces. There were too many! So there’s like five linked there, but there’s more than five pieces of this fic, you do have to scroll through the tag.

And don’t worry, nothing got deleted! The “hidden track” tag is a catch-all for updates as well as answered questions about background, side characters, etc, so at one point I was trying to make a specific “hidden track update” tag in addition to that. I thought it would be nice to be able to link to that specifically, but when I tried to edit previous posts, it fucked up my read more formatting, so I stopped. (Because at the time tumblr hated read mores in answer posts, and most of Hidden Track is in answer posts. Does anyone know if that’s still happening? Can I fix it now?) So I never bothered making the extra tag, and you do still have to make your way past headcanons and such to get to actual bits of fic. But the fic is all there, and it’s all in the tag, I promise!

The other (and potentially easier) method of finding Hidden Track is actually to go through my “things i write” tag. That contains things that aren’t Hidden Track, but also contains less overall. I wouldn’t recommend going through it in chronological order, but if you get back to the first Hidden Track post---linked above, so you know exactly what that is, and it shouldn’t be more than a couple pages deep---most of everything that comes after that is going to be Hidden Track.

Hope this helped!

#Anonymous #attila replies to things

[lost-eternity]

Matchup Requests: CLOSED

Match up request for: @ imightsecretlybeadragon

Okie dokie. I match you with...

I love your tag name, hun

I had to ship you with Sherlock himself 

I was originally considering Mycroft but he honestly can't handle spontaneity 

That's more Sherlock's thing

Although the number of hobbies you have tried your hand at, only to drop most of them, tells me that you grow bored easily and hence need things to occupy your time

So does Sherlock. Except his methods of quelling boredom are not nearly as tame as candle making. 

He'll keep you on your toes

I also considered Mary as a potential match but finding information on her online is incredibly scarce, for some reason. RIP

I believe that your ambition, drive, and willingly to throw reason to the wind and embark on thoughtless adventures is the perfect reason why you would mesh so well with Sherlock Holmes. You would totally be willing to jump out of windows or attempt crazy experiments with him instead of judgmentally staring as most would

As much as Sherlock enjoys John's company, he cannot handle people asking him questions all of the time

Either they need to be on the same level as him- or shut up and do as he says until he reveals his thought process in some theatrical way

While you may not be able to under exactly where that man's mind is at, you are definitely smart enough to understand the general gist and decide for yourself whether or not you want to follow through 

Because sometimes Sherlock really needs someone to look him in the eye and say "no". Instead of passively being yanked around like a dog on a leash.

Both of you have a habit of becoming so engrossed in your work that you forfeit biological functions like sleep. Sherlock really appreciates your understanding in regards to this because he knows that you will not disturb him. 

But when he is going on three days without sleeping or eating, your more nurturing side will step in, force him to rest and give that man some damn sustenance.

Which is why I feel like you would work very well with him. You know when to back off and give him the space he needs, but you aren't complaining like him because you also know when the is challenging the limits of what his human body can handle and will step in to make sure he actually takes care of himself

Like, dude. Take a freaking shower, you both look and smell like a writhing sack of horseshit 

Sherlock would probably find your tendency to be loud quite intrusive. He claims that "even your thoughts are loud. I can feel you thinking. Stop that." And promptly kick you out of the room

Try not to be too offended by him

He is like a toddler. He doesn't know any better

But feel free to give him a scalding tongue lashing afterwards

Sherlock would never admit it, but he does genuinely care for you. And it can sometimes be hard to tell. He constantly berates and criticizes you. But only because he is worrying over your well being and gets super mad if you do sometimes that puts your life in danger. Sherlock can't even bear the thought of losing you, and like everything else he doesn't like, he chooses to ignore or "delete" it. So when that fear becomes a reality,  he flips out, masquerading his concern as anger. Because he does not want to appear weak

His criticism comes from a well meaning place. He genuinely wants you to improve and do the best you can in life to become successful, he is just piss poor and phrasing. Instead his critiques come off as purely negative. You may have to remind him of this and he would be quick albeit awkward to correct. 

If you show him a painting:

"No, the lines are all wrong. The focal point should be here, but because you used 45° angles, the focal point ends up down here."

Cue an unamused look from you

"What? Oh... uh. Y-your use of colour palate is... adequate...."

He's trying

~

Knowing Sherlock, you did not really ever "meet"

At least not how most people would

The first time you met, Sherlock had you pinned beneath him on the ground, demanding that you take off your clothes.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. 

Let's start from the beginning 

You were near Hyde park, cloaked in a heavy woolen coat to combat the biting cold of the winter-scape around you

With your hands shoved deep in your pockets in an attempt to warm them, you continued at a brisk pace, wanting to get back to your flat before the scheduled snowfall 

That was when a dude on a motorcycle nearly careened into you. You jumped back and glared over your shoulder, fully prepared to tell him off. Instead, what you saw rendered you speechless

The guy who almost hit you was wearing a... bunny head mask. What the hell?

So distracted by this weirdo on the motorcycle, you did not notice another man in a black trench charging down the way. He actually did hit you from a full sprint.  

The force of the impact knocked the air from your lungs and caused you to fall over, he taking a tumble shorter thereafter 

The man, now having you stretched out beneath him, seemed entirely preoccupied. If he recognised the implications of your situation, he gave no indication to it. 

He spared you a single glance before looking back after the motorcycle bunny guy. 

"I need your jacket, now!" He demanded, not once looking at You

"Excuse me?" You asked.

"Jacket!" He demanded again. "Take it off!"

Were you being robbed?

If you were, this was one weird ass mugger. 

Another man came jogging up, his breath short and strained as she rested his hand on his knees. He looked horrified then apologetic  "Sherlock! Get off her!" 

The rude trench coat fella scrambled to his feet, as if just now realising he had been on top of you. He must be Sherlock.

The second man continued. "I'm sorry about him, we aren't mugging you. We would just like to borrow your jacket for a few minutes."

"Watson, he is getting away!" Sherlock complained

You removed your coat, and handed it over, completely confused. What else were you supposed to do?

The cold air bit your exposed skin, sending goose-flesh across your arms as you shivered from the chill

Sherlock and his big ass coat moved at a dead sprint towards an ice-crusted fountain 

Watson sighed and extended a hand to help you up. He shrugged off his own jacket, offering it to you.

You immediately refused his gesture, despite the sheer cold causing you to shiver. 

Watson frowned slightly at the rejection, his forehead creasing

You watched as this Sherlock character leapt onto the fountain,  nearly losing his footing as she scrambled across. The motorcycle man had almost reached the road, if he got there, he would be lost. 

Sherlock pursued him, jumping over gates and pushing past pedestrians to cut him off on the main trail.

You did not think he would make it, but remarkably, he did. He stood before the motorcycle your jacket extended in front of him

Bunny guy did not hesitate to charge at him, probably planning to run him down

Your breath hitched in your throat as you gazed at the scene. Like a matador facing off against a bull... except Sherlock had no sword. No back up. Just a jacket. How in the world was he going to stop a guy on a motorcycle with only a jacket???

You watched in anticipation, the cold you felt completely forgotten as the motorcycle drew nearer and nearer. 

Sherlock did not once hesitate nor flinch. He remained rooted in spot, his eyes steely with determination 

The bunny suit man got within a single metre of Sherlock.

You thought for sure that you were about to witness a collision. 

You were wrong

Sherlock threw your coat then rolled out of the way.

The coat hit the back wheel as it spun, getting snagged in the shifting gears and mechanisms. 

It wrapped itself around the back wheel, seizing it up and causing the motorcycle to skid out, slipping across the ice before colliding into a nearby tree.

Sherlock was quick to pounce, restraining the bunny suit guy. 

You were absolutely amazed. Both you and Watson seemed to have the same idea as you rushed over. Watson scolding Sherlock for pulling the stunt and you out of concern for your poor coat.

~

It wasn't long before the police arrived. Apparently bunny guy was some sort of expert thief turned murderer known for his iconic bunny suit. The cops have been after him for months and Sherlock had been the one to flush him out and trap him

You were mostly distraught over the loss of your jacket.  It was a good jacket, now completely lost to the motors and gears on the cycle

Watson promised that he would buy you a new one.  He even invited you back to his flat for some tea because he was worried you would catch cold if you walked all the way back to yours

You were going to refuse and just take a cab, then you learnt that Watson and Sherlock were flatmates. 

How could you say no?

You just met some of the most interesting people on the planet, how could anyone say no to tea with them?

Sherlock seemed adamantly against the idea, complaining loudly about Watson "taking home too many strays" because "they ruin my work."

"You should have thought of that before you ruined my favourite jacket." You retorted

They were both taken aback by your wit

Watson appeared rather smug. "Yeah. You could have just used your own."

Sherlock seemed positively offended that anyone would dare suggest such a thing. "Not my coat! The coat is iconic."

Watson just rolled his eyes 

~

Despite getting off on the wrong foot, you and Sherlock hit it off rather nicely 

You were amazed by his observational abilities, but shocked him by understanding how he came to his conclusions before he even explained.

This was when Sherlock began to like you

And Sherlock doesn't like anyone

It kinda baffles John, really

Sherlock, finding you rather entertaining, is fine with you popping in for tea every once in a while. 

He even let you assist on cases

This is where he really began to fall for you

He admires your intellect and thought process, considering it formidable albeit slower than his own

Let's be real, it's Sherlock 

But things kinda start out rough

At first, when Sherlock first realises that he has feelings for you, he "deletes" them

It's scary admitting when you fancy someone

And not just scary. Dangerous. Especially for Sherlock. 

He can't allow himself to be focused on anything except for work

Of course, the more time he spends with you, the more his feelings keep coming back, regardless of how often he deletes them

So he pushes you away

He lashes out

Becomes cold and distant, trying to make you give up

But you won't. You're having the time of your life with him and always comes back. No matter how many times he yells for you to go away. Its infuriating, actually 

There will come a point where Sherlock has to make peace with his own attractions but it will be very difficult for the both of you

You will have to work with him through this

Cause Sherlock is not going to be an easy catch. And an even harder one to keep

But I have faith in you.

I hope you enjoyed dear, let me know what you think :)

#sherlock #sherlock holmes #matchup #ships #sherlock x you #sherlock x reader #match up #matchups #match ups #ship #bbbc #bbc sherlock #john watson #request #sherlock request #sherlock matchup #sherlock ship #sherlock match up

[elmidol]

PSA: Being Damaged Doesn’t Excuse Hurting Others

For the longest time I said nothing at all in regards to the harassment and stalking I received by an author I met in person. To my knowledge they have left the fandom, however maybe they just changed their penname. Seeing the post by @wayward-rose​ and the rest who were wronged by Mrs. Z and the reactions from others who have been uncomfortable with her behavior, it sort of made me reevaluate things. Not only the behavior of the author who wronged me, but my own actions subsequent to this. The excuse given by Mrs. Z in regards to multiple hate asks and such have led to her reactions… I get it but I do not condone it. For so long I did not name the author save to a few friends. Some know the author’s name solely because I have since admitted that it was the former co-author of the “This Isn’t In My Programming” fic that was discontinued. I’ve been asked even recently for the author’s name as well as what exactly happened.

This may be long-winded, I don’t know. I am not excusing negative behavior from my end on here that I will be disclosing. This is, in a way, something I should have spoken about much sooner. When certain readers at the time could tell there was an extreme difference in my attitude. Where I became very intolerant of some things. This is how I was not completely the victim, but at times the one in the wrong. And it is due to my experience that I can understand some of Mrs. Z’s bitterness but not her acceptance of it and the argument that she is in the right. This is not making it about me either. This is at last coming forward after having been asked to do so for close to two years.

 The author, MeganD1, and I met in person a few times. We had connected over instagram, and after she learned we lived in neighboring states she had said it would be cool to meet. I agreed but was not quite ready. She persisted. Pushed. I agreed. Upon agreeing, she had posted on her fandom instagram that she was meeting me along with the location of where I lived. I told her I was NOT okay with that. She deleted, apologized, but also said she did not know why it was a big deal. I let that slide since she had deleted it. During that first meeting, we had a great time. I told her how one of my favorite Lucasfilm artists, Eric Maell, had reached out to me one time when I was going through a very rough period. It had meant the world. I told Megan of my dream to meet him one day at a convention. She hadn’t known the artists aside from one piece he had done. She had had no interest in him.

 While together, we went shopping at a mall and talked. She did admit to contacting me to begin with because I had been one of the bigger author names for Kylo/Reader and Hux/Reader fics at the time. She also admitted to talking shit about me with another author. And I regret not listening to those warning bells. Megan and I discussed triggers and tropes in fanfics (which we did again on our second meeting). We had fun.

 The second time she visited, I had invited her and she stayed a few days at my house. We again went shopping and also sat down at a restaurant to talk. I opened up about my sexual assault to her. It was the first time I had spoken about details to someone in person like that. I kept having to look away from her face. I felt ashamed. I was shaking a bit. Trying to not panic. I thought it was a relief, believed she was understanding.

 We went to my house afterwards. On the way, Megan told me some plans she had for a fic of hers that she was writing and I was reading. I mentioned having triggers with those issues. So she elaborated on it, explained it differently. There was 0 way I'd have known that it was going to trigger me as it did. I'd NEVER been triggered like that. this was after she had gone back home. That’s what I’ll touch upon in a minute. We watched The Office together. Pitched the idea to co-write a story, and that is how This Isn’t In My Programming was born. Side note that during her visiting, I have endometriosis so have issues with that. I was doubled over the entire time but learned later it was due to having colitis; she did not help at all, so I essentially took out all her trash, took all her dishes, had to cook for her..which some of this is fine. I'm willing to do it. But being literally doubled over....it was a sore thing that I didn't address with her until later

 Fast forward to her returning home, writing the chapter, and posting it. Okay so I was triggered by the scene, privately told her on chat in instagram that she needed to include a trigger warning because it was a pretty intense scene and also told her that I couldn't read the fic anymore. Which I didn't think was an issue since she had stopped reading mine for similar reasons or else because she just didn't like them. She reacted by posting an a/n on her fic stating how she never meant to offend anyone, how she should give up writing. She didn't mention my name but basically got a ton of the readers to shittalk me for being triggered. It was one of the most hurtful and fucked up things for me. To read those comments from people who read my fics, who chatted with me. Talking about me like that; and me wondering if they would still believe that if they knew all the details. So here is where some bitterness and resentment started in me. Why some of my notes became venomous and hard.

 It was not okay for me to say certain things, to bash others. It was hypocritical. So this is where I understand Mrs. Z when she says that about the hate comments. But we’re adults and should take that step back. I regret many of the things I said. Which, again, I will get to in a bit.

 Megan posted on her fandom ig and personal ig how she was going to delete her ig. Told me in chat how she was going to give up writing. Where I was begging her to not, telling her I did love her writing, I just couldn't read this specific fic. Mind you, during the panic attack I was in the bathroom on the floor with a towel shoved into my mouth and screaming and crying. Struggling to breathe. I had my phone with me and was chatting with Juulna between breaths when I could. She was trying to help me calm, to get me through it. I didn’t share that with Megan because I had not wanted her to feel so bad. I did not give her the details of my panic attack, but she still reacted so severely.

 When she calmed down, I tried to get her to understand why that had hurt me. She couldn't understand so I said that we should end communications. She said she was open to discussing things if I felt differently. So I thought on it and wrote up an email explaining how she had hurt me and also my part in having let a few emotions fester such as not addressing her behavior when I was doubled over in pain.  I am going to show the email. There is a name of another author that will be omitted. First I have to speak of another thing, how MeganD1 would tell me in chat how she wished she had endometriosis or something else to better understand others. I did not know at the time that she was asking Juulna for information on my health conditions and playing it off as someone else. This Juulna and I pieced together after the post-stalking fic got put on ao3 by putting together portions of conversation with keywords/phrases/situations. So this alone was a violation to me. Especially with how open I am about my conditions because I want to spread awareness. I’m mentioning this behavior since it is addressed in the email.

She countered by saying she could never put herself in my shoes for being triggered because she is an only child, doesn't have to "wait to buy things when they're on sale" (due to my medical conditions, I live with my parents and can't hold a job). Threw my family dynamics at me. Then started to go through how she was bullied since a young age. And it isn't like I didn't empathize. I thanked her for being honest with me. I’m going to show a small portion here that does not include her personal information or anything like that.

So a disclaimer that the only people I have directly told I cannot continue reading their fic are friends with whom I chat with off of ao3 and largely due to them asking me what I think of the latest chapter. Otherwise I wouldn’t say a thing. They, likewise, have done the same with me. I thought it was so we could respect boundaries/triggers and support one another with other fics we could read. Cheering them on with those we can’t. I have worked on this since everything happened. I’m not perfect. Back to the issue...

After this email and taking time to digest it, I restated my position that we were parting ways.

Not long later I went onto the Kylo/Reader page and a summary of a new fic caught my eye. That was my hometown. That was not a Star Wars planet being named. Those tags were all my triggers and some of them were things she had openly bashed to my face. I had another panic attack, this one where I called up Juulna to talk in with voice. She couldn’t even understand me.Nor could my mother, who had heard me from downstairs and came up to check on me. I couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t stop feeling so violated and like the biggest fucking idiot for ever trusting her. I opened the fic because I was in doubt. But it was there. Details that others wouldn’t catch but that I did. She has since deleted the fic and even admitted that she did it to spite me. But this was the fic that changed so much. That made it to where I could not go onto the Kylo/Reader page for years.

This was the fic that prompted me to make a note on instagram a few times bashing people who romanticize rape and other triggering content. Where I stated if someone read those fics they were disgusting and I didn’t want them near me. So can I understand Mrs. Z being harsh? I fucking can, but it does not make it right just like my notes were not right and I deleted them. I reached out to a few people and apologized for them too.

This is the fic where when @kylosbrickhousebody​ mentioned I inspired them with Three Blind Tooke to write Mercurial...this is the fic that made me think it was a sick joke that they mentioned me. Why I thought it was malicious. I hadn’t known her, and I did apologize to her for my accusations. She understood where I was coming from when I told her why I thought that. Understood but equally held me accountable for my reaction. That I lashed out instead of coming to her. Because, at the end of the day, I AM accountable for MY actions. Even if we can empathize with them, it does NOT make them right.

I’ve been asked why I didn’t report the fic by MeganD1 to ao3. I was fucking terrified. I was scared to admit that this was me, that that was my home. I was scared they wouldn’t believe me. I was dealing with my sexual assault, dealing with the fact that I was in denial over it in part because I’d been told to “get over it”. Dealing with the colitis and an impending hysterectomy. My Grammy’s recently diagnosed breast cancer. I was so broken down with hurt and fear. I just watched the comments and kudos roll in for a fic that violated me to the core. I let the resentment build. And how was that fair to any of the individuals who would have avoided it if they had known what the fuck it was about?

While she was updating the fic, MeganD1 was also cyberstalking me on instagram, possibly tumblr as well. I privated my personal account from her. My fandom account I knew she was stalking with hers because she accidentally liked then unliked things. She had multiple accounts. Then she would view my story posts. I am guilty of checking on her fandom account once or twice, and she had made vague references to me in her captions. I deleted that fandom account. Made a new one. Followed my favorite Lucasfilm artist. Suddenly she was commenting on his posts. Talking about how much fun she had meeting him at a convention. My fucking dream that she stole with an artist she didn’t care about until I had mentioned him. I’ve never been able to go onto his page since. She found me though. Found that new account...so after months of not being stalked it started up. I deleted that fandom account. I stopped participating much at all.

The point is that throughout all of this, I was still and am still accountable for my own actions, for how I respond to others. I still get hate comments on fics. Do i want to lash out? Yeah. But I don’t. Sometimes I can take that step back and just ignore it. Other times I reach out to a friend for advice. Because no matter what, no matter just how bad things are, there are behaviors that are absolutely inexcusable. It doesn’t matter how hurt or broken we are. Saying something that hurts and possibly breaks someone else doesn’t fix anything. It creates more chaos. And I know that I hurt some readers I no longer interact with. Some who didn’t and don’t know any of this behind the scenes stuff. My hurt, however, does not justify hurting them.

So with the bravery of @wayward-rose​ and @callmehopeless​ and so many others, and with those who reached out and asked to hear what happened to me... I’m answering what happened to the best of my ability. While also, I hope, showing that those who empathize with Mrs. Z, it’s not bad to work to understand her hurt at times when she receives shit in her inbox. But that cannot and should not ever justify her hurting others. Especially when she then sits back and is PROUD of doing that.

#just thoughts #this is the story #fandom discourse