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pilfappreciator · 5 months

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Did another oopsie and accidentally deleted another ask (*bangs head on table*) BUT HOPEFULLY THE LOVELY ANON WHO SENT IT SEES THIS!!

DADZONE & Child! Reader: John Dory

Includes: GN! Reader, Child! Reader, Adopted! Reader, accidental DILF John Dory, slight angst

TW: mention of spiders and body horror near the end (nothing too graphic but just in case)

🥽 This man doesn't trust himself enough not to fuck up another meaningful relationship ://

🥽 Personally, how I see it, becoming a father is probably the last thing on JD's to-do list. I mean he's definitely got the skills (being the oldest of five and having to raise his brothers means he's picked up a few things), and I like to think that it's something he longs for deep down, but considering how BADLY he fumbled with his brothers the last time they were all in the same room...

🥽 So yeah. In theory would be SO down to start a family of his own, but in practice?? He is EXTREMELY hesitant

🥽 THAT BEING SAID!! Chances are he probably found you as an egg

🥽 He was out one day, hiking out in the forest or exploring coastal coves or rock climbing, when all of a sudden he just… stumbles across an egg. Just sitting there in a patch of moss or nestled into a log

🥽 Ends up taking the egg with him back to Ronda, but not before an actual HOUR of confused staring? Distressed pacing back and forth?? Panicked rambling all the while???

🥽 (the fact that Ronda tried to eat the egg upon his return doesn't help at all)

🥽 John Dory spends the next month or so visiting nearby troll villages and asking anyone who crosses his path "Hey man did you drop this? 😬"

🥽 In the end he decides to take you in himself. Partly because he's gotten tired of all the looks other trolls keep giving him for trying to force an egg into their hands, and also because he… may have grown attached to said egg in the past few weeks. I mean by the end of day 3 he'd already given you a name so you know he's screwed ahsjkakaa

🥽 He tells himself he's taking you in because it's what any good citizen would do (He is a lair. He is 100% doing it for himself)

🥽 The day you hatch is LITERALLY one of the best days of his life? Like he's just making himself some dinner and suddenly he hears crackling coming from his hair?? And then there's babbling???

🥽 This man is going about his day with you nestled in his hair (basically the troll equivalent to carrying a baby on your hip lol). He's choppin trees, foraging for food, and driving his armadillo van all while he's got an actual egg sitting on his head. Absolutely talks to you the whole time, too. He has no idea if you can actually hear him but like.. this man spent the last 20 years all alone in the woods, okay, his ass is lonely :((

🥽 Yknow that thing parents do where they hold up headphones to a woman's womb and play Mozart or whatever to make the baby "smarter" or some shit?? Yeah that's JD. He's doing the same thing to his egg

🥽 no Mozart tho ONLY BROZONE 😤😤 HIS BABY HAS GOTTA HAVE GOOD TASTE AND NOTHING LESS

🥽 If he's really feeling himself then he'll sing the songs himself. And then proceed to give unprompted lore behind the lyrics and the songs "true meaning" (songs include Brozone classics such as Baby Boy Got My Heart In A Headlock Boy and Baby Baby Love You Like A Pizza But Hate You Like There's Pineapple On It Babe)

🥽 "holy crap YOU'RE SO SMALL—"

🥽 UGLY CRYING HOLDING YOU IN THE CROOK OF HIS ARM CARESSING YOUR SOFT LITTLE FACE WITH HIS FINGER

🥽 Will die if you reach for him with your tiny baby hands or just smile up at him

🥽 He's still gonna carry you around in his hair while he goes about his day and stuff ngl. Like for him, it's a signature of your guys' bond and you bet your ass he's gonna be milking it for as long as he can (definitely dreads the day you become too big/old for it)

🥽 Most definitely tries to teach you survival skills as soon as possible. He's teaching you how to fish, he's demonstrating how to start a fire with the bare essentials, he's letting you DRIVE RONDA—

🥽 "It's an important skill to have, champ, trust me!"

"...but I'm only five."

"Never too early for a learner's permit!"

🥽 Defnitely tries to reel in that controlling/perfectionist mindset of his, at least for your sake. The last thing he wants is a repeat of what went down with his brothers. As a result he's probably more lenient when you get into trouble or do something wrong

🥽 Fr tho like... you'll accidentally(?) cause an explosion and his ass will be standing, hands on his hips like "I'm not mad, just disappointed 🤨"

🥽 You thought you were getting spoon fed Brozone content as an egg?? Well congrats on being born cuz now you're getting served Brozone content for BREAKFAST 👏 DINNER 👏 AND 👏 LUNCH

🥽 JDs most definitely the type of guy to break into song whenever he's doing the most mundane of tasks (laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc), and yes he fully expects you to join in and know all the lyrics helloooo?? You've basically been raised on Brozone songs at this point like cmon, don't leave him hanging!

🥽 FR THO!! If you grow up to be a Brozone stan, he's never gonna be more proud of himself <33

🥽 This man definitely has a physical collection of every song/album/cover his band has ever done (I'm mean this is the same guy who kept his brothers underwear in a frame for 20 years so ://). He treats every CD, record, cassette tape, etc. like the priceless artifacts they are and YES, HES GONNA PASS THEM ONTO YOU LIKE THEYR FAMILIY HEIRLOOMS DID YOU EXPECT ANY LESS

🥽 If you grow up to lean more towards a different genre of music or Brozone just doesn't end up being your cup of tea... JDs gonna be a lil devastating ngl

🥽 Pls assure him that he has not failed as a father

🥽 Jokes aside tho! I feel like despite his wounded ego, JD will at least TRY to see your point of view. I mean he's definitely gonna be a bit of a grandpa about it—

*while the two of you are listening to your favorite song*

"I mean, I GUESS it's okay... not nearly as lyrically genius as Brozone's hit single: Baby Girl Ur Sweet Like A Milkshake Girl But I'm Lactose Intolerant Baby 🙄"

"Dad. Please shut up."

—but rest assured that he WILL support you and your music taste <33

🥽 You want merch of your favorite band/artist? No worries he's (stealing it right off the shelf) got money to pay for it! Is there a new album about to drop? He's (breaking into a store in the middle of night like a rabid racoon) patiently waiting in line just to buy it for you! You wanna go to a concert? He's using Ronda to (break speed limits, run people over, disobey every known traffic rule) get good parking at the venue!!

🥽 SPEAKING OF CONCERTS!! I feel like he'd be able to offer solid advice on the do's and don'ts of attending a concert. Like... my guy was in a popular band back in the day and he knows first hand how outta hand concerts can get. He has SEEN some shit ajskskaka

🥽 JD definitely has a photo album full of pictures from back in the day. Some of them are snapshots of him and the rest of Brozone, but a majority of the pictures are just of him and his family— away from the stage and cameras. Just him and his brothers and grandma Rosiepuff too...

🥽 He remembers the exact moment every picture was taken, and he'll tell you every bit of context. Birthday, pranks gone wrong, holidays, first day of school— there's a snapshot for just about every milestone. All you have to do is ask and JD is more than happy to relay every childhood anecdote he can remember

🥽 It gets to the point where you eventually know just about everything about your uncles... WHO YOU HAVE NEVER EVEN MET YET AKSKSKAKAK

🥽 It's definitely something that freaks them out once you finally DO meet them

🥽 Like you'll have a conversation with Clay and they'll be like "yeah I'm not a big fan of spiders haha" and you just go "Oh that makes sense considering you used to have vivid nightmares about them crawling under your skin and tickling you to death" and Clay's just like "how the fuck did you know that????"

🥽 "Dude stop telling your kid everything about us"

"I haven't seen you guys in 20 years! I just wanted them to feel close to their uncles ;(("

"THEY DONT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT HOW I USED TO PICK MY NOSE WHEN I WAS SEVEN"

🥽 John Dory, Older Brother Who Overshares About His Younger Siblings my beloved <33

Ermmm yeahhhh this was originally gonna be one big post including ALL the brothers... but then I started writing for JD and got carries away... so yeah this ask is gonna have to be a multi-parter AJSJSJAKKA SORRY ANON I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF 🤥

NEXT PARTS ARE IN THE WORKS!!

Bruce | Clay | Floyd | Branch

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p4nishers · 5 months

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thinking about the relationship between mightily oats' "the worthwhile [words] don't burn" and constable dorfl's "the words in the heart cannot be taken"

#especially the journey both of them had to go through to get to the point of saying that. like the whole of carpe jugulum oats was so TORN #and before that too about what words could you believe and who could you really trust on their word about om and the prophets and he went #out of his way to look up records disproving what the book of om said bc he KNEW nothing they said could be believed and just all the pain #and all that doubt he went thru and the part where he questioned om's 'infinite compassion' as he prayed bc really what compassion?#how many people prayed at the stake just like he was doing in that moment? how many people had to live with the silence of their god just #like he did? but still when his book of om – that he clung to the whole book for reassurance – burned he said the worthily words don't burn #the worthily words are in the heart and in the mind and not feed into his mouth by old man who just #made things up to justify their actions. he had all the words he needded the whole time and holiness was always all around him. he just had #to look #and dorfl being created with words in his head that dictated his every move . words that chained him. then he and the other golems created #'king' for themselves in the hope he'd lead them to freedom but they put too many words in his head and he failed and carrot gave dorfl his #own freedom and his own words and that lead to dorfl destroying his well child basically and destroying himself in the process but the word #in his heart his OWN words remained and they were able to rebuilt him and vimes give him a voice and his words and belief remained in him b #they were always his #god. sorry for the ramble im severally unwell about them #mightily oats #constable dorfl #carpe jugulum #feet of clay #gnu terry pratchett #discworld

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oddly-casual · 7 months

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Trolls Band Together Spoilers

(Clay and Bruce trying their best)

One thing I’ve been dying to talk about are the little ways Bruce and a lay take care of their other siblings and why.

It’s all in the little stuff! Like I am of the belief that Bruce and Clay are so close is because they could only really find solidarity in each other. Growing up no one liked how JD pushed them to be perfect, but Bruce and Clay were the only ones who felt pushed in a box, they were the only ones who got angry.

Floyd was always the peace maker and Branch was a baby so the only ones who understood their anger was each other.

Clay and Bruce always have each others backs, but I wanna talk about how they take care of baby Branch.

Like when Branch is listening to the broad cast with Velvet and Veeneer, Bruce notices Branch’s worry and turns off the radio. (Bruce also carried around Tiny bc he is a true dad.)

During the ‘It takes two’ song, Branch pulls out his blue prints and John Dory immediately pushes Branch out of the way to take control and you can see Clay and Bruce wince like they know it’s a bad idea before Clay pulls John away for the transition shot.

Not to mention Clay and Bruce seem so unironically excited to see Baby Branch that they side like JD, and I know that was probably because they’re still on weird terms with JD, but I don’t think their happiness to see BB was only for pettiness sake.

Maybe there’s some stuff I missed because I only saw the movie once and I looked down at some points to take notes so may haps I missed some back ground stuff but if there is please tell me!

#trolls spoilers #trolls band together #dreamworks trolls #I like calling Branch Baby Branch I’m sorry #trolls bruce #trolls clay #trolls Branch #trolls john dory #I Wanna go more into depth abt how JD became a parent child and how that affected his relationship with his brothers #BECAUSE ITS SO INTERESTING PLEASE #Like the concept of how these siblings grew apart but do deeply care for each other means so much #Floyd was probably the one who was there for Branch the most!#Bruce and Clay felt a bond bc they both were in happy!#JD felt alone because of his position and even tried to go back to see Branch and Rosiepuff only to think that they died!!!#Thats sick and twisted!!!!#They all still treat branch like a baby bc they never saw him grow up!!!#except for Floyd who’s the emotional intelligence of the brothers #and bruce only had smaller children so he doesn’t know how to take his baby brother growing up

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jessoloslemons · 3 months

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Poppy: Branch, a brother is like a friend that could never leave you!

His brothers: had literally left Branch

Poppy: okay not helping

#dreamworks trolls #trolls band together #brozone #branch trolls #she means well #at least she tried #john dory trolls #bruce trolls #clay trolls band together #floyd trolls #lmao child abandonment #broppy

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syinqbudz · 2 years

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*emerges from the dark abyss of my room, clearly in the worst condition of my life*

whats up moral orel fam gang!!

#im so bad at posting #some of these r so old #why didnt i post them?#art dump lol #my art or whateva #moral orel #moral orel art #clay puppington #orel puppington #bloberta puppington #daniel stopframe #danielle stopframe #reverend putty #rod putty #miss secondopinionson #child clay

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fazgoo-connoiseur-1987 · 1 month

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It is so so so much more fun to me to have as many people as possible in on Bill's murders to some extent, y'know? Like Henry burried bodies for him, Mikey wasn't fully aware but he knew n helped his dad anyways, Maggie was suspicious but didn't want anything to do with him at all, and Clay should've known with how unbelieveably obvious it is but he's too blinded by his respect for the guy. So much more interesting than having Bill be actually good at doing crime I think.

#yeah #five nights at freddy's #fnaf #william afton #henry emily #mrs afton #clay burke #michael afton #yelling about the bear #child death mention

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araremonaka · 5 months

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Cat

#trolls #trolls au #trolls clay #trolls fanart #child star branch au #perfect family harmony au

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pokemonranch · 5 months

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MR. CLAY I NEED HELP

So I live in Hoenn, right? I was just out one day, walking my Dusclops, when suddenly, there was this random pink… THING. It looks weirdly like a human baby, but pink??? And it has a little rattle??? I don’t have a camera, so no photos, but. Help? Please??? Is this a new thing??????

You mean a Tinkatink???

This tiny dude? This is the fella you saw???

They're from Paldea and usually hunt either Corviknights or Skarmory, but one alone in Hoenn is??? Very rare??? I'd recommend askin' 'round to see if someone lost it or was recently released.

#describing a tinkatink as a “small human child” is WILD thanks #ask #clay talks #pokeblogging #pokemon irl #rotomblr #pokemon rp #pkmn irl

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blacklegsanjiii · 4 months

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@alazycrab00 croc!sanji is live

Had a thought based off this where Sanji runs away from Baratie at like 12/13 and stowaways on Crocodile's boat because he and Zeff can't stop fighting so it's better for Sanji to go now before Zeff finishes what Judge couldn't. He ends up being found out after they're in the Grand Line on the way to Alabasta and Daz and Crocodile are looking at this twirly browed brat staring at them from the storage section where they're storing food.

"Is that the brat from Baratie?"

"Yes, Boss."

Sanji begs for them to not send him back, not that they're exactly interested in Reverse Mountain again so Daz and Crocodile shrug and take him to Alabasta and Crocodile calls Zeff who only curses and tells him to keep Sanji out of anger, he still cares but like clearly they're angry at each other so Crocodile will let them simmer and take Sanji back in a couple months.

Croc ends up introducing Sanji to the rest of what is Baroque Works at the time and Sanji is a good cook and a decent fighter. He and Bon Clay are getting along really well and helping each other stretch and Bon Clay does Sanji's make up. Anna the Banawani likes Sanji and Croc has found them togwther, Sanji reading a cookbook and Anna napping. Crocodile finds Sanji's mouth really amusing and he's great in the markets for haggling.

At one point Bon Clay walks up to Crocodile at one point and is like "I need to take Sanji shopping, he needs dresses and skirts that fit and his own make up." Crocodile just doesn't look up from his paperwork and hands Bon Clay a stack of cash and when Sanji comes back in twirly dress and his make up to the 10s and so happy showing Crocodile is just "fuck, I might need to call Iva too."

So yeah, the call to Zeff a few months later is just Crocodile telling him to eat shit, Sanji is his now. After that everyone starts calling him 'little prince' or 'Mr. Prince'. Sanji grows up as Crocodile's son and his gender expression and stuff is so much more free. Sanji goes to several Warlord meetings as Crocodile literally could not leave him with anyone.

Sanji sitting at the Warlord table with cook book and listening to everyone as he reads. Mihawk at one point comments on how well behaved he is and Crocodile is like "He is actually. Anna adores him." Everyone but Doflamingo makes a face that remarks Crocodile should not probably be letting a child near his beloved bananawani but also every other warlord meeting Sanji attends Doflamingo is trying to bond with this kid because he's trying to get back in with Crocodile.

Crocodile has trained Sanji for this however and the kid will run. Just run. Doesn't matter where. More often than not he runs into Fujitora who absolutely adores Croc's kid and will let him hide in his office and read cook books until it's time to go and Daz finds him. If there's enough time he will cook for Fujitora and is even allowed to call him Issho.

When he meets Robin when she joins they get along really well, Sanji cooks for her and Robin reads to him. Sanji plays with Anna in a way that is definitely frowned upon by most of society but Crocodile knows Anna won't hurt him. She knows better, she only attacks those he and Sanji don't introduce to her. Robin meets Anna after a few months and smiles and lists of ways Anna could kill Sanji and Sanji hangs off Anna and is like "You're not gonna hurt me right? You like me almost as much as Sir Crocodile." Anna makes a noise of agreement. Robin finds him asleep with Anna and asks Crocodile about it and he shrugs. "He's a lovable kid, take him shopping. He has a mouth."

When they meet the Strawhat crew Robin and Sanji are looking at them with interest. That rubber kid and the blue haired girl that seems enamored with the other girl and a swordsman and what appears to be a racoon?

"Hey, Ms. All Sunday, do you think they're going after Mr. 0?"

"Oh I would certainly assume so, Mr. Prince. That is Princess Vivi after all."

"Mn, we're just gonna sit and watch, right?"

"It shall certainly be entertaining." Robin smiles at him and Sanji smiles back.

#croc!sanji #sir crocodile #nico robin #devil child nico robin #vinsmoke sanji #one piece au #idk man #bon clay #mr 2 bon clay #daz bones #mr 1 daz bones

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