#childe is the reason why my art might look different in the future im just saying/j aksjs

[what-aboutno]

They weren't lying when they said the best way to improve in art is to become horrifyingly obsessed with a piece of media

#zara rambles #going through a bit of an art style change #litteraly started changing things in ny art style because ive been seeing so much gen.shin stuff #childe is the reason why my art might look different in the future im just saying/j aksjs

[yostresswritinggirl]

hello, i love your writin'!! seriously, it's so cool to read and im just ajdhsish and this is the first thing- second thing, would you be comfortable with writin' albedo x gn reader (headcanons are cool yknow!) who dislikes goin' outside alone? like, they worry that somethin' bad will happen to them or are a bit scared of doin' things that might go wrong around people, so they prefer goin' outside with someone? (they also want to get rid of their fears but have no ideas how) i will understand if you don't want to so dw!! 👉👈

First thing, thank you so much for requesting! This took a while, I'm so sorryy! This was supposed to come out yesterday but I got sick and barely had the brainpower to even stand :(( feels better now tho so yey? And yess ahhh thank you for your kind words, you guys have been wonderful too, give yourself some credit too!

This is the last Albedo request in the inbox and woohoo, we ended this streak in one of the hard prompts I've come by so far ahaha

I'm not sure if I interpreted anon right but this shall be a fic as originally requested? I'm apologizing in advance because I don't think I've captured this scenario well enough hehe,,, but I hope you still enjoy this!

Keep Me Intertwined

Albedo with a gn!reader that's scared of going out alone (Mild Social Phobia?)

Albedo is a genuis, everybody knows that, even beyond the walls of Mondstadt. Praised and sought out by scholars to ask for his wisdom and a majority of the time they receive their desired enlightenment.

Indeed, the Kreideprinz is a genuis even if he says otherwise, but he's a genuis in the art of Kemia. And only that. Truth be told there are a lot of things he lacks when it comes to knowledge, as his focus is only in the science he wants to explore. Beyond that, he comes close to a child's understanding of the world.

When he bumped into you when he was strolling through the stalls during a market fair of travelling merchants, he'd thought it would be something he can shrug off easily, but as he moves his head to look at the perpetrator he'd hear a squeak of a "sorry" and a running figure. What?

Albedo silently pats himself down as he continues to watch as the silhouette disappears farther, with a calculating gaze to memorize all their features for... future references.

After he made sure it wasn't a thief that bumped to him to pickpocket, he immediately moves on without another thought.

"Ah, you're the one from the marketplace yesterday." In all honesty, your second meeting was quicker to come than he expected, and at the most curious location of all places. In the Knights of Favonius HQ. How had he not heard or seen of you before?

Your shoulders tense at the sound before you even closed the door of which you came from. This was a room he's never seen anyone use, he realized. Was this where you've been residing all this time? What an oversight on his part but it seems that you two share the common practice of barely leaving your quarters.

When you turned around, behind those surprised eyes lies a gentleness of relief he has not seen a mixture of in the ones he'd observed before. "O-Oh, Chief Alchemist! I'm really sorry about that, I was- I'm really sorry!" He hums in contemplation before shaking his head, assuring you it was a matter that caused no harm.

There was more to it, but his thoughts are distracted with his current task at hand, and with a short goodbye he made his way out down the hall where the stairs resides.

His heavy boots clap on the carpeted floor...

Paired with shuffling light ones to try and match his stride.

Huh? "Are you perhaps going outside?" He confirms with a soft yes as he continues his walk. What are you implying? "Is it okay if I join your company? I uhm also need to get some stuff from outside." He just nods, not one for small talk or questioning. It's nothing much to think about really—

Your loose and subtle grip around the chains hanging by his coat seem to ground him from his musings as you two traverse through Mondstadt in a normal gait. He tries not to think about it too much, but the way you look around with unease when you near other people or your desperate strides to stay a respectable distance to him were things he observed during the walk. Albedo was no man of science focusing on human personality and it bothers him.

It was like a game of cat and mouse between you two running errands, he'll detour to the side and you'll follow him, and if you need to drop by to a building then he'll have to follow you.

And he doesn't know why. Is it because of his mannerism towards taking care of Klee? Or his feeling of responsibility for bringing you along?

During this whole ordeal the Chief Alchemist has brought himself a bright idea (it is not) and went into his scientific mode. He watches you talk to one of the citizens about a commission you had finished yesterday and after confirming your undivided attention, he quietly slips away from the area to visit the Alchemy stall where Timaeus would surely be working on.

It took about an hour before he was allowed to use the table, because Timaeus took so long working on his forgery. Goodness that man needs to work on his studies more.

Ah, speaking of— Albedo realized he'd just up and left you for an hour. Without a second thought he retraced his steps to where he had last seen you. Surely you would have gone off to do your own thing, probably finished up your errands by now and had gone back to the Knights headquarters.

An unmoving force made him tumble forward as his coat seemed to have been caught. If you were there, it would be a sight to see, a rare moment of the Kreideprinz so uncomposed and shocked as he catches himself with a sputter. What the hell? His head snaps to look over his shoulder at such incredible speed, you'd thought it really would have snapped—

The clutch on his chain accessory tightens. With your head down low he couldn't see what expression you were, but your tense shoulders shake with a tremor similar to that of an on-going earthquake. His guilt was more obvious as your knuckles turn white from the deadly grip.

"Albedo-!" You exclaimed in what seems to be a cross between a whine and a whimper. "You disappeared, I couldn't- I couldn't leave..."

He hides a sigh as you refuse to look up to show your face. And in a comforting manner he has 'mastered' with a certain someone, he gently pries off your tight grip (with some urging pats to get you to loosen) before interlocking your fingers with his gloved ones. And he smiles as genuinely as he can, "I'm sorry, I won't do it again. Are you done here? It's almost night, we should get moving."

Your nod of agreement was a breath of fresh air to him.

▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱

Days after that were pretty much as uneventful as uneventful it could be for Albedo's lifestyle.

Holed up in his laboratory for days without rest like the madman he is. Master's alembic and grounds of scarlet quartz able to keep his mind occupied to not wonder. Hyperfocused, no one has seen him out, only Sucrose dropping by with an 'assistant pass' despite the experiment on-going sign hanging by his doorknob.

When he finally stepped out to the hallway, three days already passed. The door behind him clicks as it locks, a sound that echoed with the door four rooms apart to his.

Kaeya looks up from your doorknob when he noticed the approaching silhouette. "Oh, Chief Alchemist? Finally came out of your cave." He quipped as he leans his shoulder against your room's door, visible eyebrow raising slightly after noticing the fleeting gaze Albedo passed at the door.

"Cavalry Captain, good evening. What were you doing there?" Straight to the point.

The taller man's eyebrow rose higher before he composed his amusement. "I didn't expect you to be into rumors, Albedo." The Alchemist's brows furrows in response. "No harm done, worry not. I just accompanied them on their trip outside before retreating for the night."

Humming to himself, Albedo's eyes wonder back to your doorknob before it was protectively shielded by the man's... white fur cloak?

"I also heard you left them alone when you two were out. I didn't expect you to be such a cruel man, amping up their fear after the progress they've made." Fear? Progress? More questions swirled within the genius' mind the more he talked with this.

Kaeya had noticed his faraway look and pieced together the context. Finally, he offered to explain the background of the issue and Albedo was ecstatic to listen in, a first with the blunette.

"Do you understand it now?"

"Mhm."

"Then I'll leave them to your care, I'm sure your genius mind can come up with something."

"Huh?"

And thus you find yourself standing at the bottom steps of the Ordo Favonius HQ the next morning, hand in hand with the Chief Alchemist you've last seen four days ago. Doesn't he have better things to do? No, he reasoned the solution he worked on will take two days to formulate the desired sediment, and so he has that timeframe free for the taking.

You would have been confused and wary he'd abandon you again—

Were you not forced to listen to the two dummies talk about YOU right outside your ROOM.

"You uhm, you don't have to hold my hand during this whole trip, Master Albedo."

"Albedo." He corrected. "And this is necessary, much more convenient and predictable than pulling on my chains really." A touch of a blush framed your cheeks with embarrassment.

"I have nothing in my itinerary today, so feel free to tug me along. It is, after all, the most I can do for what happened."

Despite the rough texture from the long use, the leathered hand in yours brought about more comfort than you would have thought.

Bonus:

The solar isotoma sparkled in pure golden beauty in front of you, but it didn't prevent the anxiety bubbling inside as you watch Albedo hop over the ledge with the help of his geo construct. "What- what are you doing?"

"Experiment. I'll be up in the roof looking over you so you'll know I'm still here, if it makes a difference if your company is far from arms length or not." He replied as he casually hopped over to the roof of a housing unit.

"Albedooo!"

I didn't get to capture all the aspects of the request that I wanted to focus on ahhhhh, I got so conscious of the length I had to stop it! Still ack I hope I captured his personality and context well— and I'm sorry if I amped up the fear more than you gave, I'm not really sure how bad it was supposed to be skskskks

But hey, this being the last Albedo req in my inbox, I am now free from this man *happy sigh* //:Albedo smut leading the leaderboard for the followers event looms over from behind:// *sweats*

#genshin impact #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact x reader #exile.flower #albedo #albedo x reader #genshin impact albedo #exile.goblet #genshin impact oneshots #genshin impact scenarios #glorysuffer #i enjoyed writing this more than i thought i would have! #sorry this took so long!! #the requests are getting harder lately hmmm #followers special #gender neutral

[dragqueenpentheus]

Okay no one has to read this but i DO have to write it:

PYROC VS FATHER PAUL

Ya bitch needs an art break bc im getting angry about voices existing as i try to keep myself entertained. Today is NOT a god one for sinking into repetitive line work and that’s just about all i have on the table atm

SO! Im gunna do a little thinking about my little meow meows all fucked up by religion. Just a comparison for my sanity and interests. Pyroc is my baby i wrote him for the first time years ago. Five?????????? Whadda hell. Going on six.

ANYWAY john joined religion because of his trauma. His sister died and he felt lost. He was unmoored in this fishing village and looking for reason looking for hope. Hed had his heart broken and trying to make sense of tragedy on his own was totally beyond him. Thats why his interactions with riley in AA are SO good like. He knows that confusion and he knows the rhetoric that’s supposed to combat it. Only it dooesnt work for riley.

The same sort of thing happens for pyrc, only inverted. Loss urns him away from god and religion because its SO strong in his family and not only is he loosing trust in god, but his kin as well. He’s suspicious there’s mre they arent telling him, at the point of his fathers death. And he agrees to, on the surface, absolutely wholly throw himself in to being the second the family and the village need. But he’s keeping his treachery under wraps.

That’s one of the coolest things about father paul imo is like. That slow unraveling of what is. Frankly. An awful half assed plan, driven by fear and loneliness and desperation and dementia and love. Even VERY obvious things like. Taking down the newspaper photo of his young self ‘slip’ by him. I think, on some level, its DEEPLY intentional. He wants people to CHOOSE this. He wants people like bev. He wants people who see him and are in aw of him beating god. Of killing death. He wants to be worshiped and adored and for people to come to him willingly, no tragedy driving them to his arms.

Pyroc also wnats to be worshipped, but he ALSO wants to do the worshipping. He really longs for an element of almost????? But not quite??? Subjection?? He wants to be shown something and for a Great Voice to tell him, unquestioningly and unerringly that it is GOOD. Full stop. And then he wants to spend his life worshipping it. But this booko is an exploration of how….. no such thing exists. And more importantly no great voice exists either. There is nothing wholly good, nothing wholy evil. His lack of faith in himself once he becomes god is him starting to understand that as well. Thats on purpose baked into the lore. The starting point was ‘what if god was a position and in order to get promoted you had to be a murderer. No matter what’. He understands things are not wholly good, at that point. I onder how long it will be for him to realize they are not fully evil as well?

Bc pruitt does hm hm hm an interesting move. Where he takes something the narritve is very sure to communicate is EVIL no wiggle room just fact. Even if its driven by animal instinct its. Evil. And he makes it, not just good, but HOLY. And god i LOVEEEE that for him i ADOREEE that what a MOVE. Driven by desperation and dementia and relief and ‘if god saved me than maybe i can be good despite loving and sinning and maybe if i defeat god then i will be Thee Good’. SO sexy of him. Im really fascinated by his morality. He seems to have an understanding of the shades of grey in some respects??? But if he had a BETTER one with more forgiveness in his heart i feel like hed have left the church anyway after sarah was born??? Even if millie didnt ask him??? That might just be my own sensibilities creeping in but ….. like he culd have seen her on the weekends. He can do other jobs. Hes straight (??? Not totally convinced of this) he could have just dated her that makes me crazy. LIKE OBV HE HAD LINES HE THOUGHT THAT WOULD CROSS AND HE HAD INTERNALIZED THE CHURCH AND THE RULES AND SHE WAS MARRIED AND ECT ECT i know he couldnt have really but. Thye were straight. They coulda.

Im not gunna do fantasy homophobia bc i think its …………….. Boring. But i think some element of??? The vindlegaurd line MUST be passed along and for that particular rules must be applied. But thats also boring as hell :/ maybe i can work in my parthenogenesis lore?????????? I bet pyroc would love building that spell in any universe. That’s the sequal when he goes to magic university in helsin. But yeah i do like the concept that. Anyone can have a baby thru magic its just a time and energy commitment. Just a matter of wanting it enough together. Every baby is so deeply wanted and its mere existence is proof. Thats dope i love that. HMMM to be decided at a later date when im deeper into the story i think. I still havent figured out fully how and where and why orion is going to be invovled and if???? Pyroc and orion are even going to be romantic??????? Im torn im TORn…….

Thikns about john bonding w sarah over science and learning and starts wEEPING…. Like theres some surity beloved. Its just a matter of uncovering. I think sarah felt that same thirst for answers and hunted them differently. Her faith is in logic and science. I loveeee her god. Every scene w her and her dad absolutely RUIN me like!!!!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW LOVED SHE IS!!!!!! I hope at hte very end she saw the blood as the gesture of love it SO clearly was and not him trying to poison her. God i love that she spat it out. GOD. Thats about being gay, btw. Spits the religious offering that could save you across the gasoline soaked church floor like BABE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think we as a collective should talk about the possibiites around sarah/erin more. Bc their defiance combined would be. Earth SHATTERING for crockett.

In the future pyroc gets a kid. Ever since that campaign where Enemy ended up playing his daughter im like. How did i NOT know this idiot wanted nothing more in the entire world than to travel it with his daughter. I dont care how or why hes getting a kid. Hed be so doting and awful abut it. He would need orion as a co-parent for the kids self esteem to be normal levels. thINKS ABOUT PAUL GETTING TO RAISE SARAH AND JUST ABSOLUTELY GASSING HER UPPPPPPPP HANGING EVERY DOODLE SHE EVER MADE ON TEH FRIDGE. BOASTING ABOUT HER SCEINECE PROJECT OT ANYONE WITHIN EYESIGHT EVEN THOUGH ‘WE K N O W JOHNWE WERE ALL AT THE SCEINCE FAIR’!!!!!!!!!!! Let these fuck ups be doting fathers im fucking begging. That scene where paul is like. You take ccare of everyone on the island sarah. Its more than being a doctor. You comfort them.

HM HM comfort is such a thing for Miss Bitch like!! He sees it as a Good Thing. He tries to bring it for riley by asking to hold the AA meetings on island ((also manipulation. Obvously also manipulation. I wouldnt have bene shocked if he was slipping the vampire blood into the coffee every meeting either. But thats just a theory. A game theory.)) ANYWAY he sees comfort as hly. The church gave it to him when he needed it. The angel gave it to him in the cave. Feeling safe and warm is HIGH on his list of priorities and what makes him hand over respect.

I think pyroc has lived a very comfortable life in SO many ways, but in none he. Activly recognizes. A key part of his character arc his him…. Opening his eyes to the world around them. Seeing the privilege he has and being like. Wait. This isnt Right. We have to change thi. And when no one agrees ti shifts to I have to change this. With Violence. A little revolutionary <3 it only costs the life of his whole ass family

Thats more fun comparison ground like…… paul is SO much about I know whats right and there is a cost but i AM ignoring it. Like HE KNOOOOWSSSS he knooooows he just doesnt want o See. I’m not sure if im going to surprise yroc with the ……megadeath of. His whole family. Or if it’s a choice he has to activly make. I think a choice makes it more compelling, more layerd. It has to be in the moment though, becaus ei think thats. A key difference between them. Pyroc wouldnt do it.. hed just leave hed peace out and do what he could in small ways. But he wouldnt do his big stand off with god. Hed shrink his goals in order to not hurt his family. Out of love?? Intimidation?? Some instinct wihtin him that balks at the idea of disobedience??? I think even he doesnt know. But i LOVE john becaue he jsut decides to lie. He closes his eyes and says i am being stupid on purpose. I think thats PERHAPS more compelling than good guy coward pyroc BUT!!!!! Thats who he is rip to ths little man. Cant change him now hes a whole ass child in my head. The PLOT i can change. Him….. not without massive character development <3

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MM set my brain on FIRE!!!! Im so glad nano is coming up. I love sharpening pyroc against the comparison of other AMAZING characters. Father paul hill my beloved millstone <3 anyway sorry to anyone who reads this its literally me unhinging my jaw and emptying my brain out. I had to write stuff that wasn’t novel or fic. A little character time down and dirty. I wil NOT be editing this love and light to future me trying to decode this

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #pyroc #midnight mass

[leviskokoro]

Mari In Twisted Wonderland | Abridged Version | Savanaclaw

Chapter 2

Days after the Overblot Incident and Revenge Unbirthday Party, Mari gets another dream and this time it’s about the furries-- I mean, animals. She didn’t really get what it meant.

Lunch happened and Ruggie stole Grim’s lunch. Mari was confused but then they were called to the Headmaster’s office so she couldn’t question it. 

Crowley explained shit to the shared brain cell trio and Mari. Blah blah blah. Grim got upset that he can’t play magift and show off. Mari rationalized with him that he won’t be able to show off if he’s only a beginner and that she’ll treat him to canned tuna to cheer him up. He seemed to be having a terrible day, getting his lunch stolen and then being told he can’t participate in a sports event. 

She asked Crowley if he was searching for a way home but quickly realizes that he didn’t seem to be doing it. Though, she didn’t really say anything about it since the demon brothers were probably looking for a way to get her back. 

Then they got back to their dorms later but Crowley came to visit and explained that students were getting injured and shit was real sus since there were a lot of them. Grim told him that he didn’t want to help but he pretty much just forced them by saying the Ramshackle Dorm wasn’t free. He also bribed Grim by saying he’d let him participate in the magift tournament. Though, Mari was aware that he was lying through his teeth. However, she said nothing since she didn’t want to break Grim’s spirit again. Plus, she was going to help regardless of the situation. Might as well be helpful while she’s stuck in there. 

So the investigation started. They looked in the infirmary and Mari noticed that there were no Savanaclaw students that were injured but figured that maybe the culprit hasn’t got to them yet. Then they interrogated two injured students from Heartslabyul and they didn’t get any helpful answers so they tried looking for more clues. Only to fail and go back to the Ramshackle Dorm. 

Ace visited and they explained the situation to him. But then Deuce ran in and yelled about how Trey got injured too. So they ran to the Heartslabyul dorm and saw him. 

Mari was genuinely proud of Grim for being nice enough to give Trey the can of tuna she bought for him earlier in order to cheer him up. 

Riddle came by to check on Trey and then explained how he got injured. Then Cater pulled everyone excluding Trey to a different room and let Mari tell them about the other injured students. 

So, the Heartslabyul gang + Grim and Mari went to investigate together and saw the Pomefiore Dorm, which was probably Mari’s favorite dorm so far. It was certainly pretty. 

And now for Mari’s first impression of Rook: “Dang he kinda hot” 

Rook will remember that

Then the rest of the gang decided that he didn’t look strong enough so the culprit probably wouldn’t wanna target him, then went on to Octavinelle to see the tweels. 

First impression of the tweels as she and the rest ran for their dear lives: “Jesus fuck they’re creepy” 

They escaped and Mari finally remembered what she noticed about the injured students again. “Savanaclaw might be the next targets since there weren’t any injured students from there” 

So they got to the Savanaclaw Dorm and met Jack. She was like “oh you’re the hot furry” and he was like “excuse me?” Then he tells them that he won’t be targetted and that they should fuck off. 

Then they got in trouble with Savanaclaw delinquents and Leona and Ruggie came. Leona recognized Mari as the herbivore that stepped on his tail. The delinquents get angry but he still drinks respecc women juice and just challenges the gang to magift. Since Mari had no magic, she had to sit this one out. 

She goes home and sleeps, but then realizes she can’t and decides to have a midnight walk because she hasn’t seen enough horror movies to know that’s not the best idea. Then she meets Malleus. Probably thinks he’s the hottest guy she’s seen in NRC besides Leona and Jamil. 

“Oh, you are a child of man” “And you’re a man with horns”

She isn’t particularly intimidated by him. Like— She’s met Lucifer and has been nearly killed by him twice. Some strange dude with horns got nothin’ on him. Mari asked who he is and he seemed to be surprised by that, then he smirked. 

Dude said it would be better if she didn’t know and let her call him whatever she wanted. She was like “Aight” then he left. 

Mari goes to sleep and has another dream. She wonders why she’s having another dream about animals and why does the lion look familiar. Then she woke up, wondering what it meant. Barbatos was rather vague when he gave her his parting gift. 

On the way to school with Grim, she told him about the Tall handsome dude with horns. He dubbed him “Tsunotarou”. She liked the name a lot and decided to use it. 

They meet up with Cater and Riddle, who tell them that Jamil got injured. So they go meet him. 

‘Ah fuck his voice is hot too’ Mari thought when she met him. It seemed that she was right about Kalim, he was quite friendly. 

So they finally found out about Ruggie but couldn’t catch him. Then Jack appeared again. He’s like “Why are you working so hard for other people’s sake?” 

Ace is like “Lmao we just wanna get picked for the magift tournament and show off. We don’t give a shit about these guys.”

Mari sighed and said, “Why is literally everyone in this school so selfish?” And Jack questions her as to her reason for doing it. Then she replies with “Well-- Crowley kinda said that living in the Ramshackle Dorm wasn’t free. Though, he didn’t really have to force me since I would’ve helped regardless because I just like feeling helpful.”

Then Jack told the shared braincell trio that they’re worse than he thought. Though, he also mentioned that he didn’t trust Mari’s type. As in, “Guys that just do things for others” 

Ace was like “no u” 

Then Jack was like “Fight me bitch. If you want me to spill my guts, you gotta defeat me”

Deuce went bad boy like “fuck yeah lets go dude” and they fight

And they win. The rest of the guys are surprised that Mari knows how to fight. She’s like “The Future King of Hell taught me martial arts for like a year” and they’re not sure whether she’s being serious or if she’s crazy. 

And then Jack went into this whole spiel about how cowardly tricks make him nauseous and how he wanted to use his own power to claim victory at the top. Then he finally spills the beans on what Ruggie’s unique magic is and how Savanaclaw is in on the plan. 

“Why would they?” “How well you do in the magift tournament can have a big impact on your future, right? So I can’t say I don’t understand their feelings” 

“GRRRRRRRRRRRR” 

Mari is like “Dude, chill. Understanding someone doesn’t mean you agree with them.” 

Jack replied with “The now comes before the future! Show what you can do now!” 

Then goes onto yet another spiel about how he can’t stand Leona and how that guy is amazing but never gives his full effort. 

Ace whispers to Mari like “Damn he tsundere for his own dorm leader” 

And Jack tells them that Savanaclaw is going to target the dorm leader of Diasomnia, Malleus Draconia during the day of the magift tournament. 

Riddle and Cater come by like “Lol thanks for telling us” Then Riddle was going to tell them the plan but Jack was like “bitch im not gonna help. Im gonna do this shit myself. Bye” 

Mari countered with “What have you accomplished on your own?” 

He’s just >:(

“Smart wolves hunt as a pack” “Ugh fine. But if your plan sucks, I’m leaving.” 

So after hearing Riddle out, he’s like “Aight I’ll help.” 

Everyone came to an agreement and went to their respective dorms. Mari has another dream, then thought “Bruh he really wanted to be king then when he became king, he didn’t even do it right.”

“Oi, wake up.” 

Mari felt someone shake her awake. She groaned and swatted away the hands, wanting to sleep more. It didn’t quite register in her mind that someone broke into her room. It was only until her blanket was tugged away from her. The cool air hit her bare body. She shuddered and her eyes finally fluttered open to see Jack with a flustered expression before he threw the blanket over her body. 

“WHY THE HELL ARE YOU NAKED?!” 

“WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM?!” 

“Tch.” He looked away and rubbed his neck. “I came from my morning run to wake you up early. I couldn’t let you oversleep on the day of the tournament. S-Sorry for breaking into your room…”

Grim perked up and was motivated to go immediately so that he could collect his reward to play in the tournament. “Come on! Let’s go already!” 

“Just let me get dressed and I’ll be right with you. Be patient.” 

For the rest of that morning, Jack couldn’t look at her directly. When he did, images of that embarrassing situation all came back to his mind 

So they got to the stadium. Shit hit the fan but everything was fine because Heartslabyul revealed their plan. Diasomnia is perfectly alright. 

Leona got pissed and he revealed his unique magic. Sand is everywhere. He’s trying to kill Ruggie. 

Mari is like “Ugh I hate sand” 

Jack also revealed his unique magic and turned into a full furry-- I mean, wolf. This surprised Leona, which gave Riddle the opportunity to collar him. 

Lilia be spittin facts. 

Hearing Leona yell about agony and despair and that things will never change kinda made Mari’s heart hurt because it felt… familiar. How hopeless he seemed to feel. It reminded her of how she was before coming to the Devildom. 

Then he overblotted.

Then they beat the sit out of him. Mari is like “Does this usually happen?” 

So the magift tournament went on and Savanaclaw still got to play because the injured students wanted revenge. Grim also reminded Crowley about his reward so he was allowed to play against Savanaclaw. 

Grim did an oopsie and tried to do a special move but it backfired and hit Mari in the head instead. She had to be rushed to the infirmary. 

She woke up to see the shared braincell trio and the furry boys. Ace told her that she’s been asleep for so long that the closing ceremony was over and they’re dismantling the venue. 

Leona told her that Diasomnia was the champion. 

Ace and Deuce talked about how good Malleus was for a moment. Jack was like “No one can win if they give up before they try.” Mari agreed with him. He then said that he was going to beat Diasomnia fair and square next year. 

Leona was like ““Underhanded tactics” require one’s strength too” and she asked if he even felt bad. He was just like lmao no 

A wild Babie has appeared. Leona went >:0 but introduced Cheka to them. 

Mari squealed at the sight of such an adorable child. Internally she was saying “I’ve seen Cheka for 4 seconds but if anything were ever to happen to him, I’d kill everyone in this room and then myself.”

Jack: So the root of all Leona’s pain is… 

Mari: The cutest lil angel ever! 

Cheka: Are you guys my uncle’s friends? 

Everyone else laughed at Leona except Mari who was busy introducing herself to the lil babie. 

Leona will remember that. 

Timeskip to when Mari went to sleep and saw the creepy shadow in the mirror. She’s lowkey shook but then she woke up. Seeing the time was pretty early in the morning, she decided to have a lil stroll to see the sun rise. 

She found a good spot and sat down, singing lightly to herself. 

The sound of leaves being crushed under one’s feet reached her ears from behind her. Mari didn’t bother looking up at the source, being too enamored with seeing the sky as its hues morph from navy to a golden yellow. The dark clouds turned into tangerine and peach ones. She gave a dreamy sigh. 

“Oi, Mari.” She heard the gruff voice of Jack. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh you know, just… Watching that gorgeous sunrise. I’ve lived in a land with no sun for a year so seeing it like this is quite the blessing,” She responded, still not looking up. 

“Seriously? I’ve never heard of a place like that.” Jack sat beside her. 

“Yeah. Living in Hell was quite the experience but it was fun.” Mari chuckled lightly. 

Her words caused him to furrow his eyebrows, wondering if she was kidding or not. He shook his head, deciding that it wasn’t important. He turned to her. 

“So… about that time…” 

“Hm? What time?” Mari finally looked at him, confusion swirling in her pools of chocolate. She tilted her head. 

His face felt warm as the blood rose to his tanned cheeks. “Y-You know what I’m talking about!”

Upon seeing his flustered expression, she finally remembered what he meant. Her mouth formed an ‘o’. What could he possibly gain from bringing that up now? 

“I wanted to apologize properly…” He spoke up again, rubbing the back of his neck. “I shouldn’t have violated your privacy like that and broke into your room.” He finally had the courage to look back into her eyes. Golden hues meeting chocolate. 

“How can I make it up to you?” 

Mari saw this opportunity and a smirk crept up onto her lips. “You could make it up to me by letting me pet you.” 

He yelped and his eyes widened to the size of saucers. His ears stood erect. “Wh-What?!” 

She pouted. “I thought you wanted to make it up to me? This is the least I could ask for after you broke into my room and saw me naked!” 

“Okay! Okay! Just don’t yell or someone’s gonna hear you.” 

Mari stopped and looked at him with expectations glinting in her eyes. 

He leaned downward. His head was lowered and ears curled back, anticipating her touch. 

She grinned and laid her hand over his head, caressing it tenderly. “Oh my~ Your hair is quite soft. I see that you groom yourself well, Jack. How nice~” She cooed, continuing to pet him with such pure glee swimming in her chocolate eyes. “How are you liking this? Does it feel nice~?” 

“Tch… Just because I’m letting you do this, doesn’t mean I like it,” He told her. 

“But your tail is wagging.” She pointed out. Blood spurted to his face and he pulled away. 

“Alright, that’s enough!” He exclaimed to her, trying not to show her that he was flustered. “We’re going to be late for school if we don’t hurry.” 

Mari glanced at the sun and nodded. “Oh! You’re right. I’ll go wake up Grim and head to class. Thanks again, Jack.” 

“Don’t expect me to let you do that again. We’re not friends or anything.” He walked away from her. 

A smile graced her lips as she watched him leave with a mirthful gaze. “Alright,” she whispered and made her way to the Ramshackle Dorm.

#mitw : av #twisted wonderland #twst #twst fanfic #twst headcanons

[spadesinglasses]

Love Victor (series)

oooh new format for this post let’s get into itttt.

Below are my reaction per episode. I will be writing them as i finish each so its more clear and fresh and all that jazz.

Let’s see if tumblr posts has a word count limit.

lol wrong title earlier X_X

Note, the #glassthoughts tags is a reaction tag. Its never a review, or an intellectual essay about stuff I watch. I dont have the capacity to do all those.

Spoilers below so beware. Episode 1 is posted separately because I intend to make posts for the first and last epsiode only but that did not work out lol.

EPISODE 2

it took me a looong time to finish this episode. I kept on pausing it because something just feels so wrong about it. I didn’t know what it was when i was going through it, but when it finally ended it finally clicked.

The episode reminds me of the sentiment most homophobes use against gay people. “If you focus on the emotional part of the relationship, you will be happy with the opposite sex.” Growing up ive heard this phrase used against other people so much. Hearing it in my native language has always been a punch in the gut. 

And now this show who is supposed to be something happy and nice, is just having this kind of phrase of mentality just well up there.

I’m sure that its not Victor’s and that he is just exploring his sexuality. But the usual tinge of homophobia whenever he talks that he might be like Simon is honestly grating.

It’s definitely a me issue because other people seem to be enjoying the series immensely, but whenever Victor gets into that headspace, I just hear my child self crying myself to sleep because of internal homophobia.

Also i can see why people say  that for a show that is supposed be about Victor’s sexuality and growth, it does sure show a heck lot of heterosexuality of those who are around him.

Maybe in the future i will rewatch the series again with a more patient mind, but for now, expect me to skip a lot of scenes X_X

End

Episode 3

Okay the audacity of Victor saying “he tries” to be a good friend. Like dang okay chill with the lies. You’re already lying about your sexuality lmao.

Sorry im being very critical and bitter about this show, but i must persevere for the fanfics and fanarts i will gorge myself into later.

anywho reaction time!

Mia and Victor would’ve been cute if only Victor doesn’t sound like he keeps on enforcing this compulsory heterosexuality he has in mind.  BUT hey he might be Bi people! 

I keep censoring myself because of how bitter and hateful i sound. My apologies for the phrases i forgot to delete above and beyond this line xD.

Anyways im over anything about Andrew. He can go fuck his egotistical self. If the series will show 

Hmm i wonder if the term “Comp Het” will even drop in this series.

Back to reaction,

Honestly Felix is just a lesbian in a man’s body at this point. Making his own shampoo? Like wow give me some of that kind of friend. 

The number of times I rolled my eyes at Andrew is ridiculous. 

Whilst typing this part it was more enforced in my mind that Love Victor is just a “supposedly gayer” Teen Wolf without the wolfing parts.

Lake is Lydia Felix is Stiles Andrew is a walmart Jackson Benji is basically a less grumpy Derek or Danny tbh Victor is Scott

I really hate this idea now.

The parents drama! Honestly, very unnecessary in my opinion. Victor is already dealing with a religious family, now he has to deal with a religious and broken family? Like dang they could’ve just chosen one struggle for him, now everyone will think his sexuality is a consequence for his parents’ sin or sth.

Maybe it’ll play into a bigger plot twist in the future?

Maybe Victor’s mom is cheating with Mia’s father? Seeing as how there was an unnecessary shot of her father with the back of a woman facing on the camera which is weird but okay. 

Im theorizing now X_X

Anyways have y’all seen how poor Felix was so nervous because his goddamn friend isn’t there to supposedly help him?

Sorry im hating on Victor too much but this scene reminds me of how awful Simon’s friends are and like bruuuh is Felix supposed to be the lead character?

He really is like Stiles who is supposed to be the lead for Teen Wolf in my opinion, he’s just a much better written character that Sc/tt

lmao sorry my issues with other series is bleeding into this one X_X

End

Episode 4

Not much to say without getting too salty so moving onnn.

End

Episode 5

This series is just showing all the fear and pain i went through and am going through back when I was a teenager and til now. Without getting into any personal stuff, that last bs Victor’s father spewed just hit me so much.

I guess one of the reasons why its hard for me to watch Love Victor is because it shows me the teenager side of me way back when. Minus the girlfriend one because i never really persevered that much to tamper any likes for men. Internal homophobia really hit me back then tho xD

End

Episode 6

This episode is a mess and I hate it.

We saw yet again Victor literally using Felix’s ignorance and naivety to get himself out of a situation he put himself into. 

AND Felix even got the wrong idea or got fed with the wrong idea that the reason why Victor brought him along is to act as a buffer because he wasn’t ready to give up being a virgin or have sex in general. Yep that is definitely the reason, no other reason at all that involves making latte art with a known barista.

Lake and Felix kissed so there was that. I still am shipping Victor and Felix together despite Victor’s continuous bs with him being a good friend, but that’s just me.

And totally knew Andrew and Mia got a thing. If this blew up and hurt Lake im suing.

Lake and Felix are literally the two people keeping this show intact. Not gonna drop some political statement here no sir.

Again Benji needs to grow a personality out of this whole barista thing. One thing i am grateful for this show is that there was no family drama at all!

I think.

End

Episode 7

UGHHH MISS ME WITH THAT NORMAL TALK.

Ive been making a conscious effort to stop saying that heterosexuality is normal. That shit is hard to unlearn because its what ive always heard in my asian household for yeaaaaaaars. And now this twink is just gonna throw the term around like he has no issues with it. TO SIMON EVEN.

Like brooooooh. Im over my 2010 internal homophobia, no need to dig it all up again. Every episode.

Aww the dancing in different clothes is cute but,

FUCKING VICTOR LIED JUST FOR WHAT?

Homeboy be doing the most to keep his fucking sexuality from bursting out, with his foot both planted firmly inside the closer AND THEN THE NEXT SECOND would end up as if he is ready to risk it all just to see Benji naked.

I AM FUCKING livid, confused, and just intense emotion everywhere.

Ive seen a couple of dumbo scenes from other shows that got the “closeted” man be doing literally the most obvious shit that could make anyone catch them, BUT THIS, with how VEHEMENT Victor is against being “NOT NORMAL” AND THEN LIE JUST TO STAY IN A MOTEL WITH THE GLORIFIED HOT GUY, takes the goddamn cake.

The fucking hypocrisy man. Ive battled internal homophobia before, AND ACKNOWLEDGE THAT WE ALL DEAL WITH IT DIFFERENTLY but holy fucksticks. I’m not this evil.

The thing is, there is so much a person could do that you could go “ah its because they are in the closet and is afraid to come out” before it goes to the territory of “fucking hell, this is not just about his sexuality, this is just him now doing stuff consciously to take advantage of his supposed fear”. The girlfriend thing is even waaay over the top, but we all went with it because he’s supposed to be figuring things out. BUT most of the time, he literally could not even imagine going beyond the line HE CREATED for their relationship. AND YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT HE WILL LIE JUST TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH A GUY? Now he wants to test the male side of his sexuality? BECAUSE PORN DOESN’T EXIST?  BECAUSE LOOKING AT MALE UNDERWEAR MODELS IN THE UNDERWEAR SECTION IS NOT ENOUGH? HE NEEDS IT TO BE ACTUALLY PHYSICAL TO CONFIRM SOMETHING?

Im ahead too much, real time the scene im in the episode is still them about to leave the shop but holy fucking hell. If this lie ended up becoming something more in this same episode, expect more capslock because jfc.

And people will still claim he’s somewhat attracted to the other gender. 

AND SOMETHING DID HAPPENED. ANDREW AND MIA KISSED

FUCKIN VICTOR

Also i was very very worried that Pilar and Felix will be a thing BUT THANK GOD THAT DIDN’T BECOME A THING. Still unsure whether i like Lake and Felix together, but i love them individually.

I cant really comment on any of the parents drama because to be honest i skip them whenever its just her and him.

These two fuckers lie to one another. BECAUSE OF WHAT? THEY WANT TO FUCKIN STICK THEIR TONGUES INTO ONE ANOTHERS MOUTH? IS THIS REALLY WHERE THIS SHOW IS GOING? AND THEY ALMOST CENSORED IT BECAUSE ITS GAY? NOT THE OTHER HORRIBLE STUFF THAT IS HAPPENING?

Im tired.

But i hafta finish the show for fanarts and fanfics.

okay Benji has a legitimate reason for lying. I’ll take that.

See people you see me live writing this whole rant thing :D.

BOY TOOK MONTHS KISSING MIA FOR MIA TO ONLY SAY THEIR TONGUES GRAZE SOMETIMES.

bUT THE SAME GUY JUST WENT LAPLAPAN TO THE MAX WITH BENJI THE ONE NIGHT THEY SPENT TOGETHER?

REALLY PEOPLE? REALLY?

Huh I wonder back when I was his age, would I also just kiss the first gay guy i became comfortable with? Despite being so into the closet and battling internal homophobia via punching the walls?

Dang that monologue tho. We as non het doesn’t want our lives to be hard. But at this point, i stopped blaiming my own sexuality and just started blaming heterosexuals for making the world this fucking horrible for us. That’s when my internal homophobia SLOWLY lessen. It’s still there but hey at least every crosshair  is not on me.

Okay i get people saying that Simon is irresponsible for making Victor like put his family on the back burner for a bit etc etc. Also the reaction against Benji getting mad when Victor wanted them to stop being gay while in their house, is reasonable. Victor did calmly told Benji and his beau that his family is stretched thin etc etc. I get that. I get that sometimes hiding your sexuality for other people is what is necessary.

BUT  fucking please recognize how damaging that is to the person you are talking to. Even if you think Victor is in the 100% right about this, AT THE VERY LEAST acknowledge why Benji is mad. Sure he could’ve just left with his boyfriend instead of just staying there. And sure Victor pulled through in the end and put that dusty grandpa motherfucker to his place, but that’ll fucking sting okay.

Also i might be saying all this in a place where I’m not really that close to ANY of my relatives, so ya know, call me ignorant or ungrateful whatever.

END

Episode 8

Okay uhh Mia and Andrew is still a thing APPARENTLY.

AWW BRAM IS CUTE

Lol Simon’s “Yay boobs” like please Victor keep the heterosexual drama out of this chatroom lmao.

Also Felix group texting the others is hilarioussss.

If Victor touches or says one bad thing at Bram? its on sight.

Also Im not sure what to feel with Mia getting jealous at Andrew. Like girl you were the one who said he’s nothing, and now this? Issa bad look honey.

Victor is embarassing. Are all extroverts just this i dunno peppy? 

You know what makes me happy in this episode? Keiynan’s attitude bleeding out to Bram’s character. I love it!

Goddd Keiynan is so hot XD

hahahaha this episode is lighter thank god.

“why would they want to help a complete stranger” because they are good people and surprisingly they still exist! 

Ohhh So it seems like Nick Robinson filmed his scenes for this episode on a different day. Ive never seen him be with the main group. That’s weird.

END

Episode 9

Benji distancing himself because he wants to make his 1 year relationship work? Good guy! Him not saying to his boyfriend about the coworker of his kissing him? Bad move.

Sure we can all talk about how little stuff doesn’t need to be told to your lover if you’re sure its not gonna happen again. The thing is,  communication is key. Y’all will talk about communication being integral in a relationship but keep shit like this in the DL because yOU’RE JUST THAT SURE IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN? Fo real?

Also Benji is feeling guilty for a reason.

Vincent is very in the wrong for kissing a taken man just because said taken man is comfortable with him or showed vulnerability. Victor is in the wrong 100% and I’ll never forget that.

Felix and that hug with Victor is adorableeee. Love that coming out scene. Again raising my eyebrows at those who say Victor is Bi.

Felix showing what’s in his apartment is fucking great. No wonder we don’t see his mom or anything. They say that the saddest people are always the one who will do their best to keep everyone happy. Felix is being peppy, have these random phrases he use to just amuse people makes sense.

In this household, we protect Felix no matter what. HOPEFULLY next season we get to fucking know his surname or sth.

Again nothing new with the drama surrounding the parents. I hate them and honestly i am so annoyed by the father’s face and everything. (still have that hatred from One day at  time but we don’t talk about that here)

The letter is stupid and i wonder what Pilar will do about it. Are we gonna get a To All the boys i loved before thing?

OH Felix giving Lake an ultimatum. Wow what a move honestly. On one hand Felix has the right to protect himself. He wants to be free with who he loves, and keeping it a secret stopped being amusing because he knew what it feels like to hide a part of yourself.

Lake’s confidence has been obviously shot and damaged by her mother. Not saying that justifies what she is doing  BUT it came from somewhere. A night with Felix talking to her about his life IS NOT going to just uproot all those thoughts from her mind. As much as i love Felix, he is not a solution.

hmm what else. The father can go die for all i care. Lmao.

END

Episode 10

OH I THOUGHT PILAR KNOWS NOW BUT NOOOO

OH NOOO O NO NO NOOO

AND ANDREW STIRRING SHIT UP NOOOOOO

PILAR STOOOOP

NOO NOT PUBLICLY

OMFG

 I CANNOT.

Also i cannot get over Andrew’s actor looking like Stromae. They have the same eyes, eyebrows and expressions X_X

THIS IS WHY WE DONT KEEP SHIT BEFORE A PUBLIC EVENT. IT ALWAYS EXPLODES ON A PUBLIC EVENT.

YOU BET YOUR ass i skipped the whole confrontation scene. I’ll go back to it maybe or just look at gifs but nope. My cancer rising and moon can’t handle that shit.

Is ... is Mia going to see Victor and Benji together and then theorize? Because god freaking damnit im tired of that plot twist.

Oh Benji. Honey honey honey please don’t do whatever I think you’re about to do.

FUCKING NEW IT. CALLED IT. CALLED ITITTTT MIA FUCKIGN SAW I HATE VERYTHING.

....

wait the way the ending was shot is weird. The cliffhanger is weird. Everything is weird.

ILL MAKE A HUNCH that it was actually just Victor in his dream land thinking that coming out is that easy and that you just blurt it out.

Bet you the next season will start with no body but Felix and Mia and Andrew know about his sexuality.

The shot was too much on Victor. There was no sound cue from the family etc etc.  I hate the ending so much. Love Victor could’ve been so much more. Could’ve pioneered a fresh way to show lgbt stories and how coming out is this and that. Even if the show is for Gen Z and this generation, coming out should reflect to how coming out is generally perceived nowadays. But i guess that was too much. Foolish me for having my expectations waay too high.

The End

#Glass thoughts #love victor #love victor spoilers #this exhausted #me

[thefinalcinderella]

Tsurune Fanbook Interview w/ Director Yamamura Takuya

Someone from this post requested that I translate an interview,  so I decided to do the first one with the director.

Please tell us how you felt when you were chosen as the director for “Tsurune”.

I was surprised when I was told that I would be Tsurune’s director. However, since kyudo is also a new genre for me, I thought that I would try by all means. I read the original novel, and kyudo terminology was explained in great detail, so I began by understanding all of that, but I was confronted by the difficulty of kyudo. “I don’t understand it at all…” I thought. (laughs)

Were there any parts that you studied yourself?

I studied a lot. I went to the library to search for old reference books, but the more I learned, the more I realized what a profound sport it was. Afterwards, I went online to try looking up real-life high school kyudo and other things like that, and got to know the students’ everyday language and the details of their practices. As a result, there were even more confusing parts instead. The differences between the kyudo schools and the practice methods are different depending on the high school…(laughs). I heard from the author of the original novels, Ayano Kotoko-sensei, that a single school was referenced in the novels, so I matched to that. When I read the novel, I learned that kyudo had two sides to it, “martial art” and “sport,” so I puzzled over how to show it to make that easy to understand.

I especially felt the impression that the depiction of kyudo was very carefully done.

That is largely due to speaking with members of the staff who have done kyudo. I would go to ask them to the point of annoyance for every single episode. Even so, when it was checking time, there would be mistakes. The most common one was the right hand drawn gripping the arrow at the draw. The arrow is only placed on the hand, but since not all the staff members had a deep understanding, misunderstandings like that happened no matter what. In order for I myself to understand it, I looked at the high-ranking archers who were filmed for interviews and the shooting of those who do kyudo for high school extracurricular activities. For extracurricular activities, there were also people who shot in jerseys, and it was very helpful to see the movement of their feet, which is different from those who wear hakama.

It seemed that actually conducting interviews was useful.

I saw a lot of things that couldn’t be answered by or seen in books. Among the stories I heard from the interviewees, there was the story of someone who actually had target panic. Like Minato, they couldn’t get better at all and wondered if they should quit kyudo. However, they continued on with encouragement from their friends and recovered. There is an infinite variety of target panic conditions, but there are kids who made adjustments to be able to hit the target even while they had it. Also, there are also those who miss in individual competitions, but in group competitions, their hitting rates mysteriously went up, perhaps because they were shooting with teammates. Any story that couldn’t be understood unless there was a way to see it in reality was precious.

On top of animating kyudo, what other things were you careful about?

I felt it when I was reading the novel, but it takes a considerable amount of time for a complete amateur to hear the technical terms of kyudo and understand it within themselves. That’s why, as a work of animation, we’ve decided to show it all in pictures rather than explaining with words. It was the interviews that were helpful to me at that time, and I, an amateur, depicted what I saw for myself during those interviews as they were, so I think it is easy to understand even if one is new to kyudo.

As the director, what did you focus on for animating the original novel?

As expected, that will be the master-disciple relationship between Minato and Masa-san. Minato recovered from his target panic by meeting Masa-san, and Masa-san was saved by meeting Minato. I took great care with that especially. I just did not want to overdo it. The reason is that I don’t think it was related to why they won the last group competition. And so, with Minato and Masa-san’s relationship as the focal point, we carefully extracted the relationship between Minato and Seiya, as well as the ones between Minato and Ryouhei, Nanao, and Kaito, from the original work, and unified them into one series.

Were there any parts that were hard to put in the script?

The spiritual part of kyudo is important, but if we describe too much of it, then we won’t be able to convey the appeal of the sport of kyudo itself. That was difficult, and the script meetings were rough going. In terms of results, the series composer, Yokote-san, skillfully representing the spiritual parts that are tied to kyudo through the words of Tommy-sensei and Masa-san.

Please tell us what you paid attention to during the process of creating the characters.

Simplicity and persuasion are important in creating characters. Kyudo is said to be a gentle sport, and there are no enemies. You face yourself, think by yourself, and shoot your bow. I wanted to depict this gentle world. We took care to convey it from pictures. However, we precisely and firmly decided on the aspects that needed to be decided. I discussed with the staff many times about precisely differentiating the depiction of “stillness” and “movement.” Also, the silhouettes of the characters were very important. Minato and the others had just ascended to high school from middle school, so their bodies are slender and dainty. That’s why they were designed to have some immaturity left in them, even though they have the height and other things.

Was there anything you were specifically conscious about?

For this time, I was very careful about the expressions. I especially fussed over Masa-san’s expressions, since he becomes a completely different person just by widening his pupils a little bit. Also, I was careful about his slightly mellow and graceful expressions and the shape of his jaw, since it becomes no good if they were even slightly off. Also, I asked that the characters as a whole have strong, purposeful eyes, but actually, the size of the highlights in Minato’s eyes change little by little when watching from the first episode. The transformation from the Minato who lost sight of himself to the Minato who became OK and held confidence in himself was expressed even in there.

How about the five boys of the Kazemai High School Kyudo Club? First, please tell us about Minato. It was hard to depict Minato. I thought very deeply about what I wanted to do with him. For that reason, after considering him suffering from target panic and tasting failure and thus becoming obstinate and making that point the main focal point, as well as taking into account the atmosphere of the novel, I decided to make him a character who could convey his feelings properly by himself. By strengthening the impression of him being a high school boy, I could settle myself down with a thump.

How about Seiya?

I had the impression that he is a boy at risk. I understood why when I considered the reason in the novel, and my chest tightened a lot when I was reading it. The anime is different from the novel, as it went in the direction of rescuing his identity. In Episode 10, I wanted Seiya to recover himself with the words “Because you were there for me, Seiya” from Minato. I wanted him to do kyudo with the feeling that he was fine as he was. However, perhaps Seiya would be saved in the true sense of the part of the original sin further in the future.

How about Ryouhei?

I envisioned a character who overflowed with the energy to draw everyone to him. In the second half, there are many occasions where characters like Seiya and Nanao stood out, but Ryouhei’s cheerfulness, that was shown in various places, helps me as a director and helps the story.

How about Nanao?

I really admired him, thinking, “You’re amazing, Nanao.” He is quite mature. If Seiya is a child covered in the skin of an adult, then Nanao is an adult wearing the skin of a “shallow and flighty boy.” The presence of him who strikes at the heart of a matter is indispensable for a work.

How about Kaito?

Looking at the work from Minato’s perspective, Kaito might seem like he is playing an unpopular, obstinate role. However, from Kaito’s point of view, he doesn’t know Minato’s circumstances, and he is actually the kind of fluffy and delicate guy who quickly changes the things he says. If Minato in the first episode had said at the information session that “I want to do kyudo even if I have target panic!”, I think he’d probably say, “You’re pretty passionate…do it.” (laughs). Actually, at the information session, he was unable to just watch Minato being in a bind, and helped him for himself by lending him an arrow.

Minato’s childhood friend, Shuu, also left a strong impression.

For Shuu, Minato is his “bow friend.” In Episode 13’s flashback, he was measuring the distance between him and Minato when he first met him, but when Minato told him, “I just wanted to see your face before I go home,” he acknowledged him as his friend. The scene of Shuu’s back at that time is the image of a light named Minato shining into Shuu’s narrow and confined world.

Seiya and Shuu’s relationship is also interesting.

It might be easy to misunderstand, but Shuu does not actually dislike Seiya. He acknowledges Seiya’s skill as an archer. That’s because Seiya was chosen as a regular right after he started at Kirisaki Middle School. His ability can be said to be a cut above the rest. However, Shuu felt it was regrettable that Seiya’s natural ability was smouldering due to his attachment to Minato. That’s why his “You don’t love kyudo” line that he said bluntly in Episode 8 seemed like a harsh scene, but was actually Shuu sincerely conveying his thoughts in his own way. But because there weren’t enough words, it was interpreted in that kind of way. That’s just how important kyudo is to Shuu.

The music is very memorable. What sort of orders did you give the composer, Fuuki Harumi?

I requested that the music would give the image of “leaves dancing in the wind,” based on the novel. And so, the main theme was completed. The motif used there was also reflected in the other pieces. However, when that main theme was applied, one might realize the development of the competitions, so we carefully ordered it separately depending on the scene.  For example, for the match against Kirisaki in episode 13, we drew the storyboards for only that scene and gave it to Fuuki-san beforehand. And so when I listened to the finished music, I thought, “This is incredible…” From there on, the storyboards were finely adjusted according to the music.

Did you have any difficulties on the direction side?

I had trouble with depicting the kyudo scenes. All of them end up having the same image composition. It’s a sport that fundamentally doesn’t move from the spot, and only half the face can be seen from the back. I thought that if that’s the case, then I would show it from the front, but they all ended up becoming similar images… Therefore, for the kyudo scenes, I tried to show the differences with composition tricks that could only be done with animation. I think that episode 13 could not be drawn unless you went to conduct real-life research and interviews.

Please tell us your favorite scenes.

Of course all of them are my favorite, but if I have to be specific, it would be Minato and Masa-san’s scenes in the early parts, the scene when Shuu first appears, and when Kaito says he wants to make his bow turn. Also, perhaps Seiya. Seiya in episode 9 is so painful to see that I couldn’t stand to watch anymore…

The female members make an impression.

At first, I was thinking about how to incorporate the female members into the work, and then I decided to put them in the roles of the level-headed and mature girls, in contrast to the still immature boys. However, there was no point in just them being there, so in inserting the depiction of the girls deepening their bonds with the boys little by little, that leads to episode 12. So, it was in episode 12 that they were completed as the Kazemai High School Kyudo Club in a true sense. This is a digression, but during the scene where Ryouhei drags Minato and Seiya to the kyudojo in episode 1, you can see the three girls in the passageway behind them. That is Seo introducing Shiragiku to Hanazawa.

Please tell us your thoughts after production is finished.

Since I’m also a first-time director, it was very difficult. However, I felt that I had properly depicted the story of Minato’s rebirth, so I have no regrets. On top of it being my first time directing a series, there were a lot of things I didn’t know, but this was the only thing I was determined to do. That is “penetrating the hearts of the audience.” All of the works that have remained in my heart so far had cut me to my heart. That’s why I think about how to penetrate the hearts of the audience everyday, and I think Tsurune is the crystallization of that.

That really is, “Struggle, youth!”

Yes. I remember using those words when I had a meeting with Fuuki Harumi-san. Before I knew it, that had become the slogan (laughs). I’ll be happy if that is also conveyed to everyone who watched the show.

Lastly, please give a message to the fans who watched Tsurune.

I just want to say how thankful I am. You are trying to get to know the work known as Tsurune that you even got this book, so I think you truly loved it. Thank you all so much for loving Tsurune!

#tsurune #tsurune fanbook

[zerochanges]

Valentine’s Chocolates and Glass Masks

The romance genre in anime is a little weird, and honestly on the whole the majority of the genre in anime is probably a bit too slow for its own good. “Will they or won’t they” is something most romantic fiction is guilty of, but I think you’d be hard press to come across 150 episode TV series dedicated solely to that premise anywhere else. And this has nothing on the pure silliness that can come with the genre; hand holding, indirect kisses, masked secret admirers, all that good stuff. Really, I’m not here to trash talk romantic anime though, but as I sat down and tried to think about writing a Valentine's Day blog post I just couldn't help but think to myself how romance anime might be the hardest to explain to anyone not in the fandom. I mean, I think I’d have an easier time explaining the plot of any given saga in DBZ than I would explaining “Notice me, senpai” to somebody.

You know what though, I kind of ironically enjoy all of this. Yeah, pure romance anime can be cheesy, but it’s just the right amount cheese that it’s like, c’mon, how can you not enjoy this? Perhaps the worst (or best!) offender of this are older shoujo titles where they can seem almost downright like a soap opera at times. Shows like these are just so full of bizarre, off-the-walls, and over-the-top melodrama that they manage to suck me completely in. They’re heartbreaking, they’re engaging, and the times when they fail at being those things they are hilarious. 

My most recent experience with an older shoujo title like this would have to be studio Eiken’s 1984 adaptation of Glass Mask. Now Glass Mask (or Glass no Kamen as it is known by some) is a manga that started life in 1976 and to this day has yet to be finished, with the manga creator Suzue Miuchi stating she would like to finish it soon, but hasn't quite figured out when that will be (move over Hunter x Hunter fans). Having been one of the earlier shoujo titles starting back in the mid-70’s the series is full to the brim with pretty much every cliche and trope you can think of for shoujo anime, and to a modern audience it can often be almost hilarious at times to sit through. It is important to remember that for its time Glass Mask was a trend-setter and arguably if not the creator than certainly the reason why a lot of these cliches became cliches in the first place. Over the years Glass Mask has received its fair share of adaptations and even parodies, and currently has 3 different animes as well as a live action drama series and real life stage plays based on it. I heard the most recent anime, the 2005 TMS adaptation of Glass Mask, does a pretty great job at modernizing several aspects of the series, but unfortunately I have yet to watch that to weigh in so all I can say is that I was inundated with more cliches than I could count and laughed a ton while watching the 1984 series and I loved every minute of it. 

Glass Mask is the story of a young 13 year old girl Maya Kitajima, who has a dream to be a great theatre actress. Unfortunately for Maya she’s from a very poor family, and even more unfortunately for her, she is incredibly average looking with no flair--and don’t worry, the anime will remind you of that fact countless times every episode. Despite her damnable curse of “just looking kind of average” Maya will stop at nothing to pursue her dream and eventually runs away from home after getting a scholarship for an acting school. There, the enigmatic Chigusa Tsukikage notices Maya’s talents and takes her on as her protege. Soon, Maya learns that her mentor Tsukikage was once a legendary actress thought to be truly one of the all time greats who due to a tragic Phantom of the Opera style accident had her face hideously scarred and retreated out of the spotlight. 

Tsukikage is looking to pass on her talents to the future generation and eventually pass on her greatest possession, the rights to the elusive Crimson Goddess play--a supposed legendary masterpiece that has not been seen by anyone in decades; not since Tsukikage’s career ruining accident. For some reason the director and creator of the the Crimson Goddess play saw it fit to beseech all the rights to his masterpiece to Tsukikage and thus nobody else has been able to produce this elusive phantom play since. It won’t be easy for Maya and the Tsukikage acting school, as media conglomerate and mega corporation Daito Entertainment will stop at nothing to get the rights to the Crimson Goddess, and isn't afraid to sabotage them at every step of the way. Perhaps Maya’s greatest rival however is the young Ayumi Himekawa, the daughter of an already famous actress who is said to be the favorite to inherit the Crimson Goddess role, and is everything Maya isn't; beautiful, rich, famous and well loved by all, and while not a student of Tsukikage she is more than willing to pass on the rights to Himekawa if Maya fails to prove herself.

It’s easy to already see the cheesiness just from me trying my best to summarize the basic plot, and we haven’t even gotten into the romances yet. Maya’s relationship with the young Yu Sakurakoji is fairly simple at first, as he helped rescue her from a feral dog and despite being in rival acting schools--one affiliated under Daito no less, he’s a pretty chill guy that enjoys spending time with her and doesn't care about all that stuff. It’s only after Maya starts to take off in her career that Sakurakoji starts to spiral into this insane inferiority complex centered around her, where he thinks she has become too good an actress for him to be around anymore and starts to give her the cold shoulder all because of his own make-believe shortcomings. It’s very odd and sudden, and the entire thing is blown out of proportions as Maya clearly does not think that and Sakurakoji eventually has to be lectured by bad boy Masumi of all people to come around and start spending time with Maya again. Even after this however it isn't like the old days anymore and the gap that was created from his own complex still lingers.

And oh boy, don’t get me started on Masumi, he’s quite the character. Masumi Hayami is the 24 year old son of the president of Daito Entertainment and is currently running the corporation in his father’s stead. Masumi serves as both an antagonist and love interest (because of course he can be both) in the early parts of the story and is often behind some (but not all) the sabotage done to Tsukikage’s acting school. Masumi will eventually take a more reasonable approach when it comes to trying to yank the rights of the Crimson Goddess away from Tsukikage’s hands as the anime progresses, often just by having his acting school beating Tsukikage’s students in contest and the like, and it’s here where we usually see Masumi’s employees that work under him being the more underhanded characters instead of Masumi directly engaging in the conflict.

Despite being on different sides, so to speak, Masumi catches one of Maya’s earliest performances, her role as Beth in Little Women, and falls in love with the young girl, impressed by both her potential as an actress and her fortitude for going on with the show despite suffering from a dangerously high fever and immediately being rushed to the doctors after the curtains fall. From this point on her takes the role of “Mr Purple Rose” named for the bouquet of purple roses he sends to her at every show. As her secret admirer and the first fan Maya has ever had he means a lot to her yet as his true identity of Masumi he’s an enemy that Maya cannot stand to breathe the same air as. So in short, Masumi is just your average 24 year old CEO of a mega corporation crushing on a 13 year old girl from a small acting school he is trying to ruin and also her secret admirer. Somehow Masumi is one of the best characters in the series, and is my best boy. Only in shoujo!

So far I've been having some cheap laughs at the expense of the 1984 Glass Mask anime but it’s not all like this. The over-the-top bombardment of old school shoujo cliches and the laughs I got from them may be one of the most memorable component of my viewing but there’s actually a lot more to this anime than that. When you get beyond the silly age gap romances and the flowery melodrama of young teenage love, Glass Mask is a story of artists trying to pursue their passions and dedicating their everything to them. Maya may be cursed to forever be “only average looking” but I really respect her drive to dedicate her entire life to theatre. 

Well, that is to say, the times when she isn't acting like punching bag to the rest of the cast (Glass Mask has a tendency to make Maya into a Cinderella surrounded by tons of wicked stepsisters). When Maya is written not as a Cinderella she’s fiercely determined, and never backs down despite some straight-up abusive behavior she is put through. At times her mentor Tsukikage is absolutely savage, regularly beating Maya and putting her through some training that is definitely highly illegal, at least for today’s standards. For instance she once threw Maya in a shed and locked the door refusing to let her out until she finally understood her character she was assigned. Did I mention it was in the middle of the freezing cold winter and snowing out and Maya only had the clothes on her back for warmth? She was out there for days with no food, water, or even warmth. But don’t worry, she had her script to read and that made it all okay. Like goddamn, somebody call child protective services on this lady.

Speaking about “the art” and everyone’s passions, the more you watch the series the more it becomes obvious that the creator, Suzue Miuchi, really cares for theatre and isn't just using it as a vehicle to propel her own story. There are countless renditions of classic plays shown in Glass Mask, such as the mentioned already Little Women, The Miracle Worker, and Wuthering Heights, just to name a few. Some of these plays are presented without any changes while others may have reinterpretations made to them by the characters who are trying to give their roles a life of their own away from the original source material. Miuchi very much understands theatre and does a great job converting many famous plays into a more compressed and easily digestible form of entertainment that can be viewed on a week by week bases. The analysis characters give about the plays and other characters’ performances, the ways characters interpret their parts, and how the plays that we are privy to see in the series end up all show a deeper understanding of the medium. Watching Glass Mask is almost like taking a beginning course in theatre that covers all the classics, only with way more melodrama and over-the-top romance than you will find in your local theatre group. I hope.

What’s the most impressive however goes beyond just Miuchi’s renditions of other classic works and instead are her own plays that she creates herself. As not only does Glass Mask use pre-existing plays it also has its own original productions that will spring up in-between the real world plays. A lot of these self created plays are very enjoyable too, and some feel way more fleshed out than they have any right to be and you often find yourself regretting that you are only privy to a small part of the performance and not able to just sit there and watch the entire play like the characters in the anime do. Maybe that’s why it shouldn't be too much of a surprise that some of the plays Miuchi has created for her manga have later been adapted into real life plays in Japanese theatres. This is probably the greatest testament to the series’ popularity right there, where its own fictional works are turned real. I can’t think of many examples of something like that happening before.

I’d be remiss not to mention the visual aspect of this series before wrapping up my thoughts on it too. While certainly no powerhouse in animation, Glass Mask 1984 goes for a more picturesque route, and does a great job with tons of beautiful still shots and intricately detailed background images. It’s a humble production but with the right use of lighting a lot of scenes can really shine (pardon the terrible pun it was an accident), especially the night shots which can be pure art. Hang it in a museum, I say. I’m almost surprised we don’t see more “aesthetic” anime blogs mining images from this series. Veteran director Gisaburo Sugii (Dororo, Touch, Osamu Tezuka’s Phoenix) leads the production with skilled marksmanship you would expect from his previous (and future) pedigree, and along with legendary animator the late Shingo Araki (Ashita no Joe, Galaxy Express 999, Saint Seiya) the series has a wonderful 80’s flair to it that just fills any retro anime fan full of nostalgia whether or not they have seen the show before.

Studio Eiken’s 1984 Glass Mask adaptation is a short, briskly paced 22 episode series that is easy on the eyes and not hard at all to still sit through for modern audiences. It’s full of tons of laughs (both ironic and sincere) as well as tons of melodrama and over-the-top romance. Most importantly though, it’s a full of passion; lots and lots of passion. During its short episode count the series watches Maya progress as an actress and grow older, with her finishing middle school and beginning high school while also balancing full time acting jobs on the side. The ending is left open--and let’s face it the manga hasn't even ended some 35 years later still--but there’s enough forward momentum in the series to really feel like your time with the characters wasn't wasted and that they were able to accomplish something--not to mention the ending spot is a pretty decent one leaving the viewer wanting more but enjoying a satisfying conclusion to one of the more interesting story arcs adapted. Overall I think anyone who enjoys cheesy anime romance can sit down with this series and have a fun Valentine’s.

#Glass Mask #Glass no Kamen #Shoujo #anime

[fireeaglespirit]

beyond-far-horizons

replied to your post “I’m not surprised by the results.  I received it with barely...”

I am so sorry to hear this. I felt it would happen but i hoped.. You feel as you need to. Just know you aren't alone. I was formulating a response to our previous conversation on the subject but it was so in depth I need to give it more time. Please know that from the bottom of my heart I do feel that this is not the end. I dont think these terrible people and their lies and sycophants can endure forever but I do mourn with you all you mentioned.

Please dont throw anything away including your dreams, however impossible know it can come true. Afterall this nightmare is here, so why can't good prevail? I do believe you will be a zoologist one day in a land that respects you. Please try and hold on to that even if you dont feel it now. Still as I said, I respect your feelings of loss and anger. Im here for you my friend.

We all knew it would happen either way. If the results were different, there would likely be civil war and the military would take over (it has been stated by them multiple times)... so we would have instant bloodshed. In a way the results would be the same... TBH I don’t know what would be preferable, its hard to predict.

Anyway, don’t worry about replying, my comments are really outdated on some posts, especially now under this new reality and I have been writing kinda passionately without thinking much.. its just more like little vents. I’m a disaster when it comes to philosophy and often write things that I bet are atrocious for those who are more versed in these matters... I just like peeking my nose on those subjects, lol. I’m better off when talking about things under my sphere of knowledge...

BTW, When you’re willing do write me about alchemy but don’t feel pressured to do so! You can give me links too about it. I’m just curious because it seems like your concept goes beyond the traditional and I know you base a lot of your stuff on this so its kinda necessary for me to understand your works better (not that I don’t do that now, lol! kinda like I’m reading source material to understand many new things and I enjoy it), just that I feel like there’s an underlying element to it I’m not able to grasp entirely and I’m excited to know more, plus I feel like it encompasses those aspects we love so much in fiction...

About the mourning part, yes... I do feel like something is dead. You know, being very poetic here... yesterday I went outside and the moon was beautiful. I just keep thinking:

The same moon has witnessed the rise and fall of tyrants, the same moon has been here to witness the most beautiful and the most atrocious things humanity has ever done. They won’t last forever... the moon still shines ever so beautifully and is unfazed by it.

What gives me respite, is looking at the night sky, and knowing. Eternity lies there, and yet, nothing lasts forever, not even stars. When people look at the beautiful night sky, they often feel an ache on their chest, the fear of the unknown. Infinity shows our own limitations in stark contrast... but tonight I felt respite. In knowing... our little world is just a little part of it, yet its so precious. Life is wondrous yet so terrible.

I’ll cry when the amazon gets chopped off but it can’t be helped. Nature will always rebuild itself and we’re just a tiny speck compared to its relentless might and eternity. 

Non-sense, again.. don’t mind me. The mind needs to cope with reality, and we keep creating those allegories in order to soften it... everything is valid, in the end. I can understand why certain things came to be, such as faith.

To the other part, I need to thank you immensely... sometimes we just need to hear a friendly reassuring word and what you said here is just what I needed to hear. I don’t feel so lonely, knowing someone out there understands and respect my pain. 

Looking back to yesterday when I wrote that post, it now feels like it was written so egocentrically. Complaining about not being able to follow one desired path in life, while most people are not able to do so. Almost anyone is able to do so. Yet each and every dream that is denied in this life by stupid circumstances is worthy taking notice, including my own. We need to fight and change it. Is all I say now..

About the specific matter of zoology/paleontology, I’m kinda lunatic about it and my obsession with it is not healthy. I feel like its my token of melancholy. I often feel anger towards it and the path my life has taken... its mostly something I feel envy and desire, its hard to explain... my mother and some about me say I don’t need a freaking paper saying I studied something, when I made it by myself for so long. I don’t even know if it would bring me happiness, or if I’d be deluded, I just wanted to try.

I just had this fixation of being a scientist for as long as I can remember. I always loved arts but I never considered it as a career so I don’t feel as strongly about not being able to work with it as I feel with my favorite fields of science.  

My desire of studying it formally is perhaps idealized and highly egocentric and a way to validate my own personality and views and be recognized... at the same time, I just want to ‘be in those places’, to be among people who understand it and people close to my mindset, to be a part of it which I love so much: science and pursuit of knowledge per se, without means and reasons, just for itself and the wonder of understanding the life forms I love so much. Its been with me since childhood... its weird and a weakness of mine. I feel a bit of shame about needing that stupid validation, I've tried to let go of it, but it still comes back from time to time... its my personal vendetta and a grudge and every-time I’m sad I get back to it.

I’m kinda mad about it, really. I don’t know what I’ll do in the future, I just feel like I would like to go ‘to those places’ and see it by my own eyes... to have my own little Darwinian adventure and just be there and ‘feel it’. I just dream quite literally that I’m on one of those wonderful universities and museums and seeing the fossils I've loved since childhood. I would be complete quite literally after doing this and perhaps my anger would be diminished and I would be able to let go of it, who knows?

I warned you I’m kinda lunatic about it. Perhaps I wouldn't even be happy as a zoologist proper, I just feel happy loving animals and knowing more about them.. but I’d like to see it for myself and put my inner child who screams inside of me that I’m not what I should be... ‘to rest’ peacefully, and go on to whatever awaits, being it science or something else.

Thank you so much, anyway, I feel incredible good about telling you these feelings which had been buried deep down by years of frustration and failure (LOL). I’m incredible dramatic... anyway... I’m getting over it slowly its not as bad as it used to be and I’m sure one day I’ll be in those places I dreamed of and feel it and what makes me sure is that I’ll never give up until I do so, or die trying. 

Don’t feel like you need to reply to those things, lol, I just feel good venting

#beyond-far-horizons #reply

[doctor-desi]

Alrighty, for the Angst Questions: 3, 6, 15, 19, 25 and 30; and the Quesiton About Creating Your OCs: 1, 3, 8, 9,12, 13, 19. (Sorry if they're too many, answer as many as you want!!)

HAHAHAHA! I ANSWERED THEM ALL! PREPARE YOURSELF FOR ALL THE BLAINE KNOWLEDGE YOU COULD EVER WANT (jk there is probably more but this is still a lot... so be prepared)

Angst Questions: 

3 Have they ever lost a loved one? What happened to them, and are they the same as they were before they lost them?

I have never actually thought about this question for them before, because at least a few generations of their family have lived in Saker Keep. I imagine at some point she has lost a grandparent, but same with her parents I feel she isn’t super close to her older family members. She’d still mourn, be there for her family members that were closer to them, and respect them for who they were in life. But in terms of her changing because she lost them, I just don’t really think she would change at all. If it was the first death she experienced she might come to respect the ideals in rituals for those passing on. Like learn to make peace with the death of others. But it wouldn’t really be life-altering for her. (However I can’t say the same if she were ever to lose Ms. A, her siblings or any of the gang. If one of them all died, then she might break down and become kind of numb for a bit. She just has no real idea how to deal with a super impactful death since she isn’t super close to the majority of her family. 

6 Have they ever committed a crime, or something they felt was wrong? What was it?

Oof, okay another thinker. Hmm, well here is the thing. I came up with this idea that her parents own the general store type shop in the area (cause I need it for when we go there for reasons). So as a kid, I can imagine her being there a lot, and maybe one time she accidentally takes something. Someone not from town catches her and drags her to her parents saying she stole, and her parents just shake their heads, explain she is their kid and berate her. She has a pretty good moral compass besides that, so unless she does something on accident, or something she wasn’t taught bad, then she would not purposely commit a crime or do something she felt was wrong. She just doesn’t like going against what she knows as right, so she would never do something bad on purpose. 

15 What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Well from the campaign, she is defiantly scared of dogs and heights. Id almost say that she is also kind of scared of water now, or maybe the unknown of what is under the water more? Cause of what happened when they are on the ship. I think her BIGGEST fear though would be like her insecurities and messing those up… which I’ll talk about in your next one actually! And how she acts.. well that depends. If it is something like someone dying where she couldn’t do anything, then she’d like break down and become almost a shell of who she was, really numb to the outside. If its something else, like something she could change in the moment, she would take action to remove herself from the situation or remove the thing that is causing her fear. Either way, whatever it is would likely stay in her mind a long time, she tends to overthink things in general, and this would be no different.

19 What is your character insecure about?

Okay, so there are a few of these I believe. First and foremost, she is insecure about her abilities and has the fears of disappointing those around her. She grew up in a small town and although she doesn’t doubt Ms. A’s teaching abilities, she is worried she will not be enough in times of danger. That kinda leads to another insecurity that she will not be able to protect those she’s grown to care for. She is scared that those around her will die and she will not be able to do anything to prevent it.  Another insecurity she has is about herself and her past. Since her family history is partly a mystery to her, she is kind of almost unsure of who she is as a person. Like she knows who she wants to be as a person, but she doesn’t know who she is through who her family were if that makes sense… Yeah, she might have more too, she kind of really hides her insecurities and doesn’t let people know about them much. OH! Another one is she is insecure about who and how she trusts. After the mask incident she kind of doubts her ability to read people and situations as to whether they are real and should be trusted. Okay… I think I got most of them.

25 Do they find that they care what others think of them? Or do they not really mind how others view them?

Oh yeah. She doesn’t show it at all but she super does (kinda mentioned above). She feels like she is not enough a lot of the time, so she does like approval from others. Knowing what others think (especially if it is good) makes her feel more secure like she knows what she is doing is right or wrong. 

30 What makes them feel safe or secure? What makes them feel insecure or unsafe?

Honestly what makes her feel safe and secure is being home. Being out of her little town makes her feel unprepared and a little scared, but also really excited which is why she set out in the first place. Knowing what is going on in a situation makes her feel safe, having a weapon, basically having control or a strong understanding makes her secure. What makes her insecure or unsafe is the unknown, though like I said before she also gets excited (idk its king of like how some people get watching horror movies). Um… having to face her fears and stuff, I don’t know really, she just likes to know things so not knowing kinda makes her uncomfortable.

Questions About Creating Your OCs:

1 What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)? 

Ooookay… honestly I have no idea. I want to say that I wanted to play a dragon born first? But it also could have been that I wanted to play a sorcerer. It was one of those though I believe. I think maybe the latter cause I wanted to play a magical character, so I looked through the different types and settled on a sorcerer cause they were KINDA both fighting and magic.

3 How did you choose their name? 

Yeah… this one I don’t have a super fancy long answer. The name popped in my head and would not go away so I was like “Okay, Blaine it is then.” … yeahhhhh thats pretty much it.

8 What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story? 

For what I relate to in their character I’ll answer in the next one (spoilers its pretty much everything). However for the story I can say nothing really. I’m an only child while Blaine has two siblings. I have a pretty good relationship with my parents while Blaine had an okay one but didn’t interact with them much. I guess I kind of had a traumatic experience when I was younger? But its not like it unlocked any magic abilities… I wish. I didn’t have one specific mentor though I had some pretty good teachers growing up…. Yeah nothing in the story really is related to me, character though is a completely different story.

9 Are they based off of you, in some way? 

Yes, completely yes. I mean, I’m not a dragon born sorcerer, but in terms of personality (besides Blaine being a little more extroverted) we are pretty much the same. I base a lot of how she acts and reacts and stuff like that based on how I would, so as a person, Blaine is pretty much me aside from a few details.

12 What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)? 

Hahahaha… the fact that I made her a dragon born and I CANNOT DRAW DRAGONS TO SAVE MY LIFE. LIKE IDK HOW AT ALL SO I CANT EVEN DRAW HER IF I WANTED TO. So, yeah drawing has become frustrated where when I even try I get so sick of it I can’t do it anymore. Writing though is great! Ive began writing a lot more short stories and I love it! Im actually in the middle of writing a couple of things with her and the gang and I’m really excited to post them :)

13 How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all? 

Um… well Im not entirely sure how far canon will go really so… not entirely sure. At one point I did have her death planned, but that even has changed and I don’t even have a concrete idea for it. I suppose I kind of planned a little farther in her future when she is older, but not much besides she keeps helping people as long as she is physically able.

19 What is your favorite fact about your OC?

Mm, okay I have two really and they are both super stupid silly things, but you asked. One is that Blaine is the Door Killer™. She has and will destroy all the doors with a single blow. And the other is that she always will have a multitude of daggers on her. Even as a kid she found/had daggers so much that her siblings stopped trying to take them from her and instead just taught her how to handle them safely.

[so-caffeinated]

Okay, SO... I think this is probably the best way to reply to my spoilery asks. Responses are below the cut. There are spoilers for all currently posted chapters including the unscheduled one posted today. 

There will also be some minor spoilers in answers for future chapters. 

Sound good? Here we go!

###TEMPEST SPOILERS BELOW### 

(1) Hi!! Long time lurker, first time commenter and I just have to say how much I love your stories!! Two guesses on the Jules/husband spoiler. 1) You mentioned the fact that Jules' husband is good at dancing, and an anon asked if she and her husband met through dancing. You replied no, which makes me lean towards Alex being her husband since Jules and Jackson's first meeting is when he's photographing her while she's dancing

(2) Also in the same ask, you talked about Jules dancing by herself at a BBQ to get her husband's attention, which is something I can picture happening at a Will's house with the other firemen. 2) You said in response to a different ask that Jules is a better cook than the other kids because she bonds with her mother-in-law over it. You also characterized their relationship as having the "potential to be very rocky."

(3) Because Alex's dad died in the Undertaking, I feel like Jules' status as a Queen could potentially make for an awkward conversation at Thanksgiving. :) Hope these make sense!! Thank you for sharing your work and characters with us!!!

FFS, Anon. You should have seen my eyes bug out when I read these. Wow. You’re awfully close to spot-on here. The ‘Jules dancing by herself at a BBQ to get her husband’s attention which is something I can picture happening at Will’s house with the other firemen’ is ABSURD. It’s Alex’s house, not Will’s, but otherwise... basically, yeah. Chapter after next, Anon. Chapter after next... and WHEW, it’s a scene. 

She will - though not during Tempest - bond with her mother-in-law largely over cooking. When Jules is committed, she gives her whole self and her whole heart. By the time she falls in love with Alex, she loves all of him. That means his heritage and culture, too. So she learns Spanish and she tries more Mexican foods and she learns to cook some of it, amongst other things. That said... winning over Mama Castillo is not gonna be easy. She liked Alex’s on-again/off-again ex-girlfriend. And... Jules is ten years younger than Alex, she’s not Catholic, she’s not Mexican-American, and she’s a Queen. Alex is her only child and Jules is far from the woman she’d pictured for her little boy. 

So I think I know who Jules husband might be. I previous asks you said that if her husband hadn't met Jules, in the other timeline, he would probably have had a daughter with his on again off again girlfriend and I think you said before that Alex(?) had an on again off again girlfriend ( or it was in a chapter)? So I think her husband is Alex.

This is one of those types of spoilers that I forget that I’ve said, but yes. In the other universe he’d have had a daughter with Marisol, his on-again/off-again ex-girlfriend. Having a baby fixes nothing in a relationship, though, and they would have ultimately ended things for good. But Alex never finds something in that universe like what he has with Jules here. There’s nothing even close. Excellent catch, Anon.

I know you can’t respond to this yet but OMG JACKSON NOO POOR JULES IM CRYING IT WAS SO GOOOOOD

ANON! Thank you. Also? I wrote that scene on my birthday. It’d been in my head forever, so it was good to finally get it out, but oh lord... it wasn’t easy. I love Jackson. I really, really do. Killing him was rough. 

I am at work reading Tempest and OH MY GOD! This is AMAZING. Your writing is just incredible. I mean, it always has been but this is just beyond. That death. I wasn't expecting it and I had no idea I was so attached to that character! I'm sobbing! And I was already invested in Jules but now I feel 10x more invested in her and her story. I'm so excited to see where all this goes. THANK YOU! This is truly a gift.

Thank you, Anon! That death scene is one of the few things I’ve written that felt like they came out exactly as I pictured. And it’s been in my head a long time. I’m so, so glad you’re invested in this story because it’s entirely hijacked my life. It well and truly has. And being able to share it with people who appreciate it genuinely means the world. 

Omg I love tempest. I was majorly shocked with Jacksons death though ...you definitely made me tear up being the amazing writer you are. Can you confirm that it's Alex now as her husband ? I don't know how I will survive waiting till next week!!!!!

Clearly, I couldn’t wait til next week either. THANK YOU! And yes, yes I can confirm now that Alex is her eventual husband. Julex rises, my friend!

Ok did Jackson fake his own death to protect her please say yes is he Sentinel and they will find each other again cause I’m just really heartbroken I know it’s for a reason but I really loved Jackson like a lot and now I’m so sad but thanks for the story I kind of wanted the whole thing out so I could read it all I know that’s a bit selfish but when I read I can’t put it down .

Oh, Anon... He did not. I’m sorry. I love Jackson a lot, too, and killing him was hard, but it was absolutely necessary. I wouldn’t have done it otherwise. I’m glad you’re enjoying the story! I can understand wanting to read it all at once. You can, eventually? If that’s an consolation? But I’m glad you’re loving it even weekly (or slightly more than weekly when I get impulsive).

I just read the prologue and the first chapter and if you want me I’ll be sitting in the corner crying my heart out. literal tears are pouring out of my eyes. This is gonna be so painful. and when he calls her Julie I feel my heart breaking into pieces WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME JANIS? I DIDNOT ASK FOR THESE EMOTIONS!!!

I am mean and horrible and honestly how do you not know that by now? Sorry. I’m kidding. Maybe I shouldn’t be. SO... is it painful? Yes. But more than that it’s hopeful. At it’s core, this is a story about learning to live with loss instead of just surviving it. I think there’s a lot of joy and optimism in it, too. And I’m pretty sure you’ll agree with me there in time. There are ups and downs, progression and regression... Coping with something like this, getting to a place where you’re more than just okay, isn’t the kind of thing that happens in a straight line. But how Jules learns and copes and changes her viewpoint is really the heart of the story. And there are a lot of emotions ahead. Buy wine, chocolate and tissues. 

OH MY GOD JANIS!!! You're killing me today! First with your amazing new story and then I went to your pinterest page and... Sylvia Castillo??? I'm dead now!!!

You were the first one to catch this, Anon! The Pinterest page has undergone more changes since you sent me this, too. But... YES... Sylvia Castillo. Genuinely one of the sweetest children to ever exist fictionally or otherwise. 

Yay!!! I knew hubby was Alex!!!!! So happy to be right! Love this story so much. Jules is my fave

Thank you, Anon! I’m happy you’re right, too, because Julex is my ship. (Okay I have lots of ships, but Julex is... whew). Glad you’re enjoying it, Anon. Thank you!

Alex marries Jules omg I knew it I had a sliver of hope for my bud Jackson but then you know he’s dead and all break my heart a little bit but at least Alex’s is cool are we at the point where you can confirm this lol cause Pinterest just gave stuff away so you know just wondering please say yes;)

LOL, yes, anon, I will confirm. And thank you! I do adore Jackson (and hey there are infinite universes so he’s out there... somewhere... right?), but it’s Julex for me. Alex is an awesome guy and I can’t wait for you guys to see more of him. I love him like crazy. And you guys are way more active on my Pinterest page than I’d realized!

I love Tempest so far and I'm excited to read more about Jules' journey ! Your writing makes me look forward to Monday mornings and starting the week ( even though some chapters are more heart breaking than others lol) Poor Jackson and Jules, I thought that they might break up because of Jules keeping team Arrow a secret but I didn't want to believe that Jackson would die because he was so sweet and made Jules happy. I'm excited to read more about Jules, thank you for writing ! <3

Thank you, Anon! Jackson was sweet and he did make Jules happy. He would never have left her... not for anything, really. He loved her so much. You will get to see some of that still, even though he’s gone. Both through Jules and other sources. But her journey is mostly about learning to live with having lost him and how to cope with that in a better way. There is a lot of heartbreak in this story, but I also think there’s a lot of love and joy, too. For sure, we are not done with the tears. But we’ve barely scratched the surface on the good stuff. Promise. ;-)

After Jackson's death (soonish after and later on) does Jules have any sort of relationship with Jackson's family( mom, dad, sister) since you said they liked Jules ? Or would it have been too painful for all of them ? Would they have visited Jackson's dog ?

This is a great question. I actually had originally planned a scene between Jules and Jackson’s mom but never wound up writing it. They were both going to be visiting his grave. Jules does still keep in touch with them. They don’t live locally or anything, but she and Bokeh are a connection to Jackson still. I think more than anything else, she and Jackson’s mom and sister e-mail each other. She probably sends them invitations to the occasional art exhibit or whatnot. They aren’t fantastically close, but there’s still affection and a link between them.

 You probably can't answer this (yet?) because it's too spoilery but with Jules eventual husband ... does their relationship start the traditional way (asked out on dates, she tells family/friends etc) or is it more of a secret/affair that they try to hide for a while? (I ask this because my theory is Alex is her husband and as one of Will's friends/coworkers, and Jules currently only looking for sex and not emotions, things start more hidden, if that makes sense)

You’re close, Anon. I’m gonna say you’re half right. Watch for the fifth full chapter (after the prologue so AO3 will call it chapter 6). You’ll get this fully answered there. 

OMG!!!! IT'S ALEX!!! I WAS RIGHT!!!! I AM SO HAPPY!!! I have been firm in this suspicion ever since the ameliam babysitting sylvia chapter! I completely missed the name hint and I speak Spanish and Castillo is the last name of some of my extended family lol. Anyways this is awesome!!! Now I'm curious about Will's reaction to his friend dating his little sister.

Thank you!!! Will’s reaction... is something that probably depends on what exactly he knows and how he knows it, don’t you think? You’ll get to see that... though it’s a bit further down the line.

sooo, is working with two of his siblings-in-law ever weird for Will, or... ? --- (I know you can't talk about that, I just can't wait until you finally can!!!)

You’re assuming some things about Ellie and Sara here, Anon! But with Will and Alex, once Jules and Alex are really firmly together and later married, I think it takes a lot of adjusting. For one thing, they can’t have quite the same conversations they did before, can they? Alex is not discussing his love life with Will anymore, you know? But they trust and love each other as family as it is. They’ve had each other’s backs for a very long time. And that’s not something that’s going to change. 

OH MY WORD. OH MY WORD. WE'RE ONLY TWO CHAPTERS IN & WORDS CANNOT ACCURATELY EXPRESS MY LOVE OF THIS STORY. ALSO I AM BEYOND UPSET THAT I DIDNT NOTICE THAT CONNECTION. A Castle for a Queen....I'M SOBBING. I've had a theory for a long time that Jackson would die, Will would be severely injured in a fire, & Jules would meet Alex as Will is being loaded into the ambulance/taken into surgery. You said a while back that when Jules & Alex meet something else is demanding her attention so... ;).

NO ONE caught that I was giving a Queen a Castle. NO ONE. Not even people who knew who she wound up with. I pat myself on the back a lot. I felt very JKR-like for that. You got awfully close with your theory there, Anon! Very, very close. Great guess!

Hi so I'd planned on my next message being far more eloquent but NOPE SORRY I HAVE ZERO CHILL IM SHRIEKING OH MY WORD. THIS CHAPTER WAS INCREDIBLE. ALL THE HEART EYES 😍😍😍😍😍😍😉😍😍AND AMELIAM. OMW AMELIA. AND THE PREGNANCY SCARE. AND ELARA. ALSO ITS HAPPENING. CHAPTER FOUR. THE BBQ. JULES DANCING. ALEX COMBUSTING. I HAVE LESS THAN ZERO CHILL. AND HIS "JULIANNA." I LOVE THAT HES THE ONLY ONE THAT CALLS HER THAT. I SHIP IT LIKE FREAKING FED-EX. 🏰♥️👸🏻

I love this so much? LOL. Ameliam... Yeah... my ‘damn it Amelia’ tag is earned. You’ll find out more about that later. Also about the pregnancy scare. Chapter four is actually more plotty than anything else, but chapter five is the BBQ and chapter six is... you’ll like chapter six. Alex always calls her Julianna. Never Jules or Julie or anything else except some nicknames.... which you’ll get to in a bit. He has a few. I AM SO GLAD YOU SHIP IT! I love Julex so much! Thank you!

Oh man I know Tempest is going to be soooo good! Today's chapter has to be one of my favorites with everything going on! Finally Jules and Alex are in the open and I adore them so much and am so excited to see more from them. Also ever since I first found out about them I have been wanting to see Will's reaction to it and if it is anything like with Javi it is going to be very interesting and really entertaining to see. Also wow, Amelia did get married and Will thought he was going to be a dad😱

Thank you! I loved this chapter. And Julex... oh Julex... they have so much more to see. I am beyond excited to share more! You’ll get Will’s reaction, too, but that’s a bit further on in the story. Amelia... did get married. She did. Not the best choice she ever made, let’s leave it at that for now. Will - very briefly - did think he might be going to be a dad. I think his own reaction to that surprised him, especially given the circumstances, and I reeeeeeeeeeeally wanna write that. Like right now. It’s a Big Moment with some major parallels. 

OH. MY. GOD! THANK YOU for posting Chapter 3 early. I'm SO obsessed with this story! Questions because of course ... How old is Alex? At this point in the story, does Sara know how Ellie feels about her? Without getting too spoilery, does Sara know how she feels about Ellie at this point (platonic or otherwise)? Also ... Amelia got married????!!!!

Alex is 34 and Jules is 24 in this story. She’s not-quite-ten-years younger than him. Sara does know how Ellie feels about her and Sara also knows how she feels about Ellie. It’s not exactly as simple as that, though. Which you’ll get to later. And Amelia did get married and I AM SORRY but she did. She did. It wasn’t her best choice ever, but there we go. There will be more on that later, but not in Tempest. Thank you!!

FiCoN just keeps getting better and better and I'm really looking forward to everything that is left! P.S. I think it really is a testament to your writing ability how even though I already knew Alex was Jules husband and was really excited for that relationship and we only met Jackson a few times, I felt gutted by his death. I know there is so much more story to tell with everyone's lives and I absolutely can't wait to read everything you have to share!

Thank you! Getting better is absolutely the ultimate goal. I always want to be better than my last story and Tempest feels like a big step forward to me. I’m glad it still impacted you even knowing about both Alex and Jackson. That means a ton! And there is so much story left to tell. If I stepped back and looked at it all at once, it might be daunting. lol

THANK YOU FOR THE EARLY CHAPTER!!! OMG Jules and Alex are HOT!!! They are even better than I imagined!!! Honestly I probably looked like a crazy person while reading with all the smiling and squealing i was doing. And that Amelia reveal!! I always feared that would happen. Poor Will but I'm excited to eventually see what happens there. Also super curious about the QI girl. Anyways Julex is amazing I am officially in love w/ them!!!

Thank you! Jules and Alex are... possibly the steamiest stuff I’ve written yet. They smolder. Their sex scenes are insane. And when @dust2dust34 edits them they’re a million times better. She’s gotten through two so far and it’s absolutely bonkers how hot they are oh my god. With Amelia... yeah... so there’ll be more on that later. Also about Will because I’m dying to write about him and ‘the girl from QI’ so much oh my god. It’s gonna be a great scene. SHIP JULEX! Definitely ship Julex. Julex is OTP. <3

#FiCoN #Tempest Spoiler #ask away #anon response #Tempest #jules queen #DAMN IT AMELIA #will queen #jackson salvati #ellie queen #sara diggle #Elara #ameliam #amelia prescott #Alex Castillo #julex #julson

[saveloadreset]

sorry. what's the proof that chara and gaster were alive at the same time? i've never seen anyone talk about this before. Nobody in the larger theory world and gaster fandom talks about when gaster was alive and when chara was alive being the same. but i'm no good at my own theories, i just follow other people's theories. And im used to theories outside of theory mainstream, like gaster having horns or sans being a dead human, being crap. so i was overly wary and hostile. plus was in a bad mood.

Oh man, I remember that horn theory, it was so bad! 

I understand your hesitance, but I think that this is a more grounded theory. I hope I’ll be able to convince you. For clarification, our anon is asking …

WHY I BELIEVE GASTER AND CHARA WERE CONTEMPORARIES

Part One: Gaster

The first thing we must do to build this theory is to try to figure out when exactly Gaster had his accident. We don’t know much, just that he had to have made the CORE sometime before he fell into his creation. It’s my thought that, because he built the CORE, he was likely present while the monsters colonized the rest of the underground after leaving what would become the RUINS.

My reasoning being; NEW HOME itself appears to be built on top of the CORE, and deeply reliant on the power its process generated to keep running smoothly. So I assume that, before the monsters colonized the Underground, Gaster was fine.

Part Two: Chara

Why does this imply that Chara knows Gaster? On a surface level, perhaps it would be easier to suggest that it does not. After all, the residence of HOME has evidence of one child living there, while NEW HOME has evidence of two.

As you can see, in HOME we have one chair for a child, and in NEW HOME we have two chairs for a child. This does imply quite strongly that only Asriel lived in HOME.

The beds in here seem to suggest the same. But, there’s something odd about this, actually. There’s something that exists in HOME that shouldn’t exist there, unless Chara had already fallen. 

You can’t reach the object in HOME, at least not to look at it. There’s a box of shoes in the way. But you can still see it pretty clearly, the picture of a golden flower. Perfect mirror of the one in NEW HOME. The one that Chara drew with their own hands. 

Clearly these designs were made to mirror each other, but I’d gently remind everyone that the HOME design was created FIRST, in the demo. Toby always knew that flower was gonna be there. If you assume that the importance of the golden flowers were already known to him … and considering the odd weight those flowers are given, that seems likely … Then that art would HAVE to have come after Chara’s fall.

Could Toriel have come back and hung it up? Maybe, but it feels a little curious, as far as compulsions go, to take a keepsake from a lost child and hang it up in a room that they don’t appear to have slept it. It feels a little more believable to me to think that Chara drew this picture for Asriel, and that he hung it up on his wall, considering how important it is that Golden Flowers never even existed in the Underground before. They could only come from Chara’s imagination. 

I take this (among other hints I’ll get too later) to imply that Chara fell and spent some time in the RUINS, but maybe not a lot of time, and maybe they did not spend that time living with the Dreemurrs as their adopted child.

By itself this is piecemeal though. What really made me think of this theory were a few things we learned in Snowdin …

Let’s go back to history class … By which I mean, ‘books, lots and lots of books.’

Here’s what we find in Toriel’s house. Straightforward. Nothing here we didn’t know already. They were afraid of humans, so they retreated. Nothing weird about that. But again, I said Snowdin was what set my brain on fire. What did I learn there?

This appears to be a continuation of the original monster history!

… But why does it say part 4? Parts two and three do not exist, either in game or in the strings. Whatever events led into this, UNDERTALE is being very deliberately mum about it. Even asking the shopkeeper bunny will have her brush it off and jump ahead to when Snowdin was founded. It’s a mystery to everyone.

But we do know the result of Parts 2&3. ‘Fearing humans no longer.’

Monsters went from fearing the retribution of humans terribly to being comfortable leaving the comfort of the RUINS and their defensive door, running up and settling the very EDGE of the barrier. Something took away their fear of humans.

So. Let’s brainstorm. Did they suddenly find themselves unafraid of humans because now they could fight back? I don’t know, it feels like if they had discovered an anti-human superweapon back then, we would have encountered it over our adventures, pacifist or otherwise, and Mettaton is a VERY recent invention.

So. They don’t have tools to stop humans or deal with humans. And yet they don’t fear humans? What could cause this? If humans still have the same destructive power over them, and they can’t circumvent that, what gave them that comfort, that reassurance? Did they think that they could coexist with humans, somehow?

We KNOW that Asgore didn’t think that at first. Gerson makes it very clear that he and Asgore had a very clear idea of what humanity would do to them, given the chance. (Forgive me for not having screenshots of this! I gotta use the strings)

* Long ago, ASGORE and I agreed that escaping would be pointless…* Since once we left, humans would just kill us.* I felt a little betrayed when he eventually changed his mind.* But now, I think…* Maybe he was right to.* ‘Cause after all, even though we never escaped…* A human’s killing us anyway,  ain’t that right?

That’s a pretty radical shift in attitude! What could possible cause it? What changed that led Asgore to believe in …

… the future of humans and monsters?

You might think that it’s a little much for me to imagine that the monster history would deliberately include Chara’s story into their chapters. But here’s the thing . ..  in a way, they do. There are other chapters of monster history that are less commonly seen.

In the interest of full disclosure, these monster history chapters I am about to show you are NOT accessible from inside the game, and must be accessed through datamining. Therefore, their canon status IS debatable. However, most of the information contained herein is already included as canon in the game, from different sources. 

Monster History 5 - Absent

Monster History 6

* (It’s a book labelled Monster History Part 6.)* Unfortunately, monsters are not experienced with illness.* However, when monsters are about to expire of age, they lie down, immobile.* We call this state “Fallen Down.“* A person who has Fallen Down will soon perish.* In a way, this confusing situation was all too familiar.

Monster History 7

* (It’s a book labelled Monster History Part 7.)* When a human dies, its soul remains stable outside the body.* Meanwhile, a monster’s soul disappears near-instantly upon death.* This allows monsters to absorb the souls of humans…* While it is extremely difficult for humans to absorb a monster’s soul.* This is why they feared us.* Though monsters are weak, with enough human souls…* They could easily destroy all of mankind.

Monster History 8

* (It’s a book labelled Monster History Part 8.)* There is one exception to the aforementioned rules:* A certain type of monster, the “boss” monster.* Due to its life cycle, it possesses an incredibly strong soul for a monster.* This soul can remain stable after death, if only for a few moments.

I would give these ‘dead’ entries less credit, were they not almost identical to what we learn of humans and monsters and the story of Chara and Asriel later. It feels like most of the reason that these books do not exist in the world is that there were better ways for Toby to tell this story …

But told like this, if we assume that these entries are reliable to the canon, (and I acknowledge that is up for debate), then we actually have a fairly clear timeline, and can get a firm idea on what the progression of monster history was across these tomes.

1: Monsters retreat into the underground and settle HOME.2&3: Chara arrives.4: Monsters leave and settle the rest of the underground.5: Chara falls ill.6-8: Explanation of the behavior of (dead) human SOULs and SOULs in general.

For these reasons I believe that Chara first fell before the monsters moved out to colonize the rest of the Underground.  In fact, I think that Chara may have provided the impetus for that decision.

Conclusion

This is going to be the shortest of the segments, because all this is is about putting the conclusions from the other parts together. If we take the conclusion that A: Chara fell before colonization, and B: Gaster had time to build the core before his accident, then Chara and Gaster were DEFINITELY around at the same time.

What’s more, since Gaster was the royal scientist and Chara was deeply involved with the royal family, it would shock me immensely if the two were not aware of each other. 

#anonymous #undertale #chara #gaster #save asks #save analysis #weird hairless goat #theory #long post #meta

[mikegomez73-blog]

Sacred Memoir & Beginnings By: Michael A. Gomez

DECEMBER 1994: IT WAS JUST DAYS AWAY FROM MY TWENTYFIRST BIRTHDAY, WHEN I HAD HEARD THE SONG,”HOW GREAT THOU ART”, AS IF, FOR THE FIRST TIME. THE SPIRIT OF GOD HAD EMBRACED ME, AND I HAD BEEN OVERCOME BY THE GLORIOUS PRESENCE OF THE LORD, UNLIKE ANYTHING I HAD EXPERIENCED BEFORE THAT DAY. 1 -WINTER OF 1995 BY MID WINTER OF 95′,MY UNCLE ROBERT EDGAR HAD PASSED AWAY. HE WAS MY MOTHERS HALF BROTHER.IT IS WITH HIS PASSING THAT I BEGAN TO ANALIZE THE PURPOSE OF LIFE AND THE MEANING OF DEATH. AT THE WAKE IN THE GLOOM AND DESPAIR OF THE FUNERAL PARLOR, MY UNCLE ROBIN WAS HANDING OUT SALVATION TRACTS, TO THE MEMBERS OF OUR BROKEN FAMILY. TO AUNTS, UNCLES, NIECES, NEPHEWS, COUSINS, AND FRIENDS OF THE FAMILY, WHO ALL CAME TOGETHER TO THIS SOMBER FINAL PASSAGE. IT WAS THAT VERY TRACT THAT UNCLE ROBIN GAVE ME THAT CULMINATED MY JOURNEY,LEADING TO MY SALVATION ON THAT WEEKEND OF FEBRUARY 19TH, 1995. THE TRACT WAS BASICALLY DESCRIBING WHAT IS CALLED “THE ROMANS ROAD” AND I WAS ON IT LIKE PAUL ON THE ROAD TO DAMASCUS AND JESUS SAVED ME. I REPENTED AND CONFESSED MY SINS AT THE CROSS OF JESUS CHRIST WHERE HIS BLOOD WAS SHED FOR THE PAYMENT OF MY SINS AND I WAS FORGIVEN FOREVER. FROM THAT DAY FORWARD, I BEGAN TO SENSE THE PRESENCE OF THE LORD, HE WAS GUIDING ME WITH EVERY PASSING DAY, WORKING SOMETHING MIRACULOUS INSIDE, AND I COULDN’T RESIST HIM. IN FACT, I HAD AN INSATIABLY INCESSANT NEED FOR THIS NEW FOUND SOURCE OF LOVE, I HAD NEVER KNOWN. A PEACE,I HAD NEVER FELT, AND A HOPE, I NEVER HAD. MUCH OF THE ANSWERS THAT WOULD COME TO ME WOULD DERIVE FROM MY NEW FOUND FAITH. THE BIBLE ITSELF BECAME MYGUIDE AND TEACHER, AND MY MOM NOTICED MY AVID INTEREST IN ABSORBING ITS MESSAGE, SEEING ME READ IT EVERYDAY, AND ASKING ME, IF I WAS GOING TO BECOME A PRIEST? I SOON BEGAN ATTENDING SUNDAY MASS AT ST. BENEDICTS. WHERE I HAD STUDIED CATECHISM AND GRADUATED FROM EIGTH GRADE. SPEAKING OF WHICH,AFTER GRADUATING, I HAD ENROLLED INTO EAST SIDE HIGH, A PUBLIC SCHOOL IN NEWARK, JUST ACROSS THE STREET FROM INDEPENDENCE PARK. MY ONLY CONCERN DURING MY HIGH SCHOOL YEARS WAS EVIDENT,AS I CARRIED AROUND A SPORTS PAGE WITH ME FROM CLASS TO CLASS, BEING WELL INFORMED BY INCESSANT DIURNAL UPDATES, CHECKING TO SEE THE SCORES IN LAST NIGHTS GAMES OR HOW MANY POINTS DID JORDAN SCORE, AND DID STRAW HIT ANY HOMERS? AS FAR AS FAITH & ACADEMIC SKILLS, I WAS COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS TO THESE FACTORS AND THEIR RELEVANCE TO LIFE AND ONES FUTURE. I GUESS I WAS LIKE MOST KIDS MY AGE IN THAT SENSE, BUT I NEVER HAD A MOMENT OF URGENCY, IN WHICH, I FELT COMPELLED TO TAKE GOD OR EDUCATION SERIOUSLY. ALTHOUGH, LITTLE DID I KNOW OF GODS PLAN TO RAISE ME UP OUT OF THE ASHES OF SIN & SPIRITUAL DEATH,TRANSFORMING ME INTO A NEW CREATURE IN JESUS CHRIST WHO IS GROWING IN KNOWLEDGE,AND WISDOM AND IN SPIRIT EVERY BLESSED DAY. SITTING IN THAT PEW AGAIN, AFTER NEARLY AN EIGHT YEAR HIATUS, I REMEMBERED THINKING ABOUT THE HYMNS I USED TO SING, WHEN MY NOTE WAS DROWNED OUT BY THE CACOPHONY OF VOICES THAT SANG IN UNISON. WITH ALL THE CHILDREN REPEATING THE REFRAIN OF “PEACE IS FLOWING LIKE A RIVER”, BRINGING A HEARTFELT SMILE TO THEIR CREATOR, WHO HAD SHONE HIS GLORIOUS FACE UPON THEM. NOW HOWEVER, IT FELT DIFFERENT, THERE WAS A GENUINE AFFIRMATION FOR ME THIS TIME, AND I FELT IT DEEP DOWN INSIDE, UNLIKE WHEN I WAS A CHILD I SANG BECAUSE I THOUGHT ITS WHAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DO, BUT NOW I WAS A YOUNG MAN AND I SANG, BECAUSE IT WAS THE SONG IN MY HEART, AND UNDOUBTABLY GOD WAS SMILING AGAIN, BECAUSE HE MISSED ME, AND HE WAS GLAD TO SEE ME HOME. WHILE MUSIC HAS ITS PROFOUND WAYS OF TOUCHING THE HEART, THE WRITTEN WORD HAS ALWAYS BEEN AN EFFECTIVE WAY TO EXPRESS THE VICISSITUDES ON THE HIGHWAYS AND THE LOW ROADS OF LIFE, WHICH HAS BEEN A TWO WAY STREET TO SELF DISCOVERY,GOOD AND BAD THROUGH ITS PERIL AND PLEASURE, FINDING OUR TRUE IDENTITY UNDERNEATH THIS SKIN, UNEARTHING THE MYSTERIES THAT LIE BELOW THE COARSE PLAIN OF MERE FLESH, INTO DEEPER COMPLEX MATTERS OF THE SPIRIT, AND TO DISMISS ONES OWN PERSONALLY & PUBLICLY IMPOSED CARICATURE THAT PALES IN COMPARISON TO OUR TRUE IDENTITY IN JESUS CHRIST, AS GODS CHILDREN.WHICH IS WHY IM WRITING THIS MEMOIR TO SHARE A LIFE TIME TESTIMONY WITH YOU HOW JESUS CHANGED ME AND MY LIFE AND ALL TO THE PRAISE AND GLORY OF HIS NAME.THANK YOU JESUS. 2 *1997 THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH, FAITH BASED ON THE BIBLE, UPBRINGING, & THE EFFECTS OF TIME* EVEN AS I FOLLOWED MY HEART AND STARTED ATTENDING A NON-DENOMINATIONAL CHURCH IN THE WINTER OF 97, MY MOTHER ATTEMPTED TO DISSUADE ME FROM GOING A DIFFERENT PATH THAN ROMAN CATHOLICISM. MY REASONS FOR THE CHANGE WAS THAT I SAW DRAMATIC VARIANCES BETWEEN THE TWO.ONE OF THE DIFFERENCES WAS CONFESSION TO A PRIEST TO OBTAIN FORGIVENESS, WHICH IS UNBIBLICAL ACCORDING TO NEW TESTAMENT STANDARDS.ANOTHER WAS PRAYING THE ROSARY TO MARY AND PRAYING TO THE SAINTS, WHICH IS ALSO UNBIBLICAL ACCORDING TO NEW TESTAMENT STANDARDS.THIRDLY, ANOTHER GREAT CONTRAST WAS THE SERVICE AND WORSHIP. CATHOLICISM IS A BIT LETHARGIC AND LIFELESS IN ITS SABBATH PRACTICES, WHILE A NON-DENOMINATIONAL CHURCH IS LESS CONSTRICTING, WHERE EXHUBERANT SINGING AND DANCING IS EXPRESSED WORSHIPPING IN A MULTITUDE OF WAYS, AND THE TRANSMITTING OF THE MESSAGE IS PASSIONATELY CONVEYED IN AN ARRAY OF STYLES, FROM CHARISMATIC TO ELOQUENCE. SO THE CHANGE OF RELIGION WAS ACCURATELY BASED ON BIBLICAL NEW TESTAMENT TRUTHS THAT I FELT WERE NOT BEING UPHELD BY THE CATHOLIC CHURCH. MY MOTHER DOES BELIEVE IN GOD AND SHE LOVES HER FAMILY WITH A RELIGIOUS DEVOTION. MY MOTHER WORKED HARD WOULD DO ANYTHING IN THE WORLD FOR THOSE SHE LOVES, WHICH IN A SENSE, WAS A GODLY QUALITY IN AND OF ITSELF. AND I LOVE MY MOTHER VERY MUCH. MY FATHER HAS HIS STRENGTHS, SOME OF WHICH WAS HIS LOVE AND PROVISION FOR HIS FAMILY,MY FATHER DID WHATEVER IT TOOK TO TAKE CARE OF US WITH HARD WORK. I LOVE MY FATHER VERY MUCH. HE IS AN EASY GOING MAN, WHO IS HAPPY TO BE WITH HIS FAMILY. HE BELIEVES IN GOD AND LOVES MY MOTHER VERY MUCH AND COME 2018 THEY WILL BE MARRIED 50 YEARS. I REMEMBER AS A CHILD, GROWING UP HAVING QUALITY TIME TOGETHER WITH BOTH OF MY PARENTS & MY BROTHER JOE, WHERE BONDS OF CLOSENESS HAD FORMED, BUT THE MARCH OF TIME WORE ON IN ITS INDISCRIMINATE STAMPEDE OF CHANGE, AND THE TRIALS OF LIFE HOLD TO ITS HEARTBREAKING VERDICTS, AND THE SOMETIMES OMINOUS JOURNEY DOES SEEM TO ISSUE UNIVERSAL INJUNCTIONS UPON US. A KIND OF COSMOLOGICAL IMPOSITION THAT STANDS IN OUR WAY, TRYING TO BREAK OUR KINDRED SPIRITS WITH ITS OWN SEEMING PRECLUSIONS,BUT I AM HOPEFUL THAT THE GOD OF LOVE AND RECONCILIATION WILL HEAL THE WOUNDS WE ALL HAVE SUFFERED, AND TO BIND ON EARTH THAT WHICH IS BOUND IN HEAVEN.THESE ARE THE THOUGHTS THAT HAD HELPED ME KEEP IT ALL TOGETHER, I BELIEVED. AND SO I HOLD TO THESE FOR LOVE AND REDEMPTION. I LOVE MY MOTHER AND MY FATHER VERY MUCH, I KNOW THEY HAD SACRIFICED MUCH OF THEIR LIFE FOR MY SAKE AND PROVIDED AND CARED FOR MY BROTHER AND I. AS I THINK BACK IN RETROSPECT, I REMEMBER THE BLOOD, THE SWEAT, AND THE TEARS THAT THEY SHED DURING THE TRYING PROCESS OF RAISING TWO CHILDREN, WHO MERELY STAYED OUT OF TROUBLE,AND GOT DECENT GRADES TO GET THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL. 3 -A WORK IN PROGRESS- I HAD BEEN SAVED IN THAT WINTER OF 95’. BUT WHILE THERE WERE A SLEW OF PERSONAL CHANGES FOR THE BETTER, THERE WAS MUCH THAT REMAINED THE SAME LIKE MY HABIT FOR PORN. IN CONTRAST OF THIS I BECAME MORE AWARE OF MY SURROUNDINGS IN WHICH I LIVED.LIKE THE HOMELESS MEN WHO FREQUENTED THE NEIGHBORHOOD PANHANDLING JUST OUTSIDE THE STORE THAT I HAD WORKED. THERE WAS ONE MAN WHO CAME BY THE GARBAGE AREA AROUND THE SIDE BY RECEIVING, I NOTICED HIM LOOKING THROUGH THE DUMPSTER FOR SOMETHING TO EAT AND BROUGHT A SANDWHICH OUT TO HIM AND HE UNABASHEDLY ACCEPTED MY OFFER. ON A NUMBER OF OCCASIONS I GAVE HIM SOME MONEY, KNOWING FULL WELL THAT IT WOULD NEVER SUFFICE HIS DEBT OF SUCH DAMNING DESTITUTION. I REMEMBER ONE DAY I WAS SPEAKING WITH HIM OUT BY THE GARBAGE DUMPSTER; I HAD SAID “JESUS LOVES YOU” AND HE RESPONDED WITH” I HOPE SO.” EVEN NOW I THINK ABOUT THAT DAY AND HIS RESPONSE, BUT NOT IN DOUBT OVER WHAT HE SAID, RATHER I QUESTION WHAT I HAD SAID AND THE INTANGIBILITY OF WHAT I SAID TO HIM AND THE REALITY OF HIS LIFE.DID HE FEEL GODS LOVE THE WAY I HAD EXPERIENCED IT? WAS MINE A HALLUCINATION, A FALSE HOPE WRAPPED UP IN ANCIENT MYTH THAT IS OUTDATED? HAVING DREAMS OF A NEW LIFE, A FRESH START,OR WAS IT A REPRESSION OF FEAR TO QUELL THE NEED OF HAVING TO FACE THE TRUTH AND INSTEAD LIVING A LIE THAT ONLY BROUGHT ON MORE DISCONTENT,RATHER THAN FINDING TRUE INNER PEACE. MAYBE I SAW MYSELF IN THE NAMELESS PANHANDLER AND WAS CONVICTED WITH MY OWN GUILT BELIEVING HIS POVERTY WAS DUE TO MY NEGLECT OR AT LEAST DUE TO MY INCAPACITY. STILL AT THAT TIME I BELIEVED WITH CONVICTION AND MOVED FORTH IN FAITH HOLDING TO CHRISTIANITIES MANDATE OF AGAPE LOVE. A SELFGIVING LOVE THAT JESUS MODELED.AN EXAMPLE IN PERFECT REPRESENTATION OF GODS LOVE AND JUST HOW JESUS GAVE HIS LIFE FOR US WE SHOULD LIKEWISE HELP OUR FELLOW MAN IN NEED. HE BECAME POOR SO WE MIGHT BECOME RICH SPIRITUALLY. HE WAS IMPOVERISHED SO WE WOULD ABIDE IN THE ABUNDANCE OF HIS PROVISION IN THE MAJESTIC ROOMS AND HALLS OF GODS KINGDOM. I STILL HOLD TO THESE BELIEFS, BUT I GUESS IT’S WHEN I TAKE MY EYES OFF OF HIM IS WHEN I SINK INTO THE WATER AND SPLASH AROUND IN FAITHLESS DESPERATION. THERE WAS ANOTHER HOMELESS MAN, WITH WHOM I HAD ESTABLISHED A FRIENDSHIP. WHO AT FIRST, PANHANDLED IN THE AREA, UNTIL THE OWNER OF THE RESTAURANT ACROSS THE STREET; FROM WHERE I WORKED, HAD HIRED ANTHONY TO BE A PARKING LOT ATTENDANT. IT WAS DURING THIS TIME WORKING THERE THAT WE WOULD ENGAGE IN SMALL TALK, AFTER MY SHIFT AT WORK. SOME OF THE CASUAL DISCOURSE THAT WE AIRED OUT ON THOSE WARM SUMMER DAYS, SPOKE OF WHAT ETERNAL LIFE MEANS AND WHILE HE SHARED HIS VIEW BY EXPLAINING,” IT IS ONLY THROUGH OUR MEMORIES OF THE INDIVIDUAL AND WHEN WE TALK ABOUT THE LEGACY OF THE PERSON, THAT THE SPIRIT OF THE DECEASED IS RESURRECTED.” I DIDN’T NECESSARILY AGREE WITH HIM BUT I LISTENED IN SILENCE, AND GAVE HIM A SMALL NEW TESTAMENT BIBLE. HE APPRECIATED THE GIFT AND WE CONTINUED TO BOND. ONE NIGHT WE HAD STOPPED IN ONE OF THE LOCAL STRIPBARS HAD A FEW DRINKS AND CHECKED OUT THE TOPLESS DANCER ,WATCHING HER DROWNED OUT THE PAIN & LONELINESS FOR ANTHONY & MYSELF. IT WAS A SINFUL MOMENT OF ENTICING PLEASURE THAT HE AND I BOTH ENJOYED. BUT THIS WAS ONLY FOR THE MOMENT. IT WAS SUCH A FLEETING JOY, AND LATER I DROPPED ANTHONY OFF AT HIS RELATIVES HOUSE IN THE PROJECTS NOT FAR FROM THE OLD HAYES POOL. IN THOSE MONTHS, I HAD SHARED A DREAM OF MINE WITH HIM. I REMEMBER TELLING HIM I WANTED TO START SOME SORT OF RELIGIOUS COMMUNITY ORGANIZATION CALLED, SOLDIERS FOR CHRIST.I RECALL HIS WORDS IN RESPONSE TO MINE SAYING,” IF YOU CAN DREAM IT, YOU CAN ACHIEVE IT, NOTHING CAN STAND IN YOUR WAY.” I THINK BACK ON WHAT I SAID AND WONDER HAD I REALLY MEANT IT, I THOUGHT I BELIEVED IT AT THAT TIME, BUT NOW I HAVE DOUBTS ABOUT IT BEING TRUE AND I JUST SAID IT WITHOUT HAVING A SOLID MENTAL FOUNDATION TO BUILD UPON THAT DREAM AND SO LIKE PAPER WEIGHT DEBRIS MY EMPTY WORDS WERE BLOWN AWAY IN THE WIND. THERE WAS NO ROOT, ONLY A SEED THAT WAS NEVER PLANTED AND A MOMENT THAT WAS NOT SEIZED. SOMETIME DURING THE SUMMER OF 98 ANTHONY HAD COME INTO THE STORE WHERE I WORKED LOOKING FOR ME. BECAUSE HE NEEDED MONEY TO PAY A COURT FINE OF SOME SORT.HE TOLD ME IF HE DIDN’T PAY IT HE WOULD WIND UP IN JAIL, BUT I HAD TOLD HIM IT WAS TOO MUCH MONEY, THAT I COULDN’T AFFORD TO GIVE HIM A COUPLE HUNDRED DOLLARS TO SAY THE LEAST HE WAS DISAPPOINTED. I KNOW HE BELIEVED I WAS GOING TO COME THROUGH IN HIS TIME OF NEED, BUT ON THE OTHER OCASSIONS, IN WHICH I GAVE HIM MONEY, IT WAS A MERE PITTANCE,MAYBE TEN DOLLARS, MAYBE TWENTY. WHEN HE LEFT ME I FELT UNCOMFORTABLE BECAUSE MY BOSS WAS PRESENT AND I KNEW HE WITNESSED WHAT HAD JUST TRANSPIRED, BUT I SHOOK IT OFF AND IT DIDN’T HIT ME TILL LATER. A FLOOD OF THOUGHTS PANGS OF GUILT, VISIONS OF ANTHONY IN A CELL BECAUSE I FAILED TO HELP A FRIEND IN NEED. I STILL THINK ABOUT ANTHONY, NEARLY TEN YEARS LATER AND I WONDER WHERE HE IS NOW, AND IF HE IS EVEN ALIVE.I HOPE HE IS ALIVE SOMEWHERE AND HAPPY. I HOPE GODS LOVE FILLS HIS HEART,I HOPE IF HE REMEMBERS ME AT ALL THAT HE’LL REMEMBER HOW I SAW HIM AS A CHILD OF GOD AND A HUMAN BEING WHO DESERVES ANOTHER CHANCE REGARDLESS OF THEIR PAST OR PRESENT MISTAKES. 4 *1995-1998* I HAD MET ANA IN SEPTEMBER OF 1995 THAT’S WHEN SHE WAS HIRED AT THE STORE WHERE I WAS EMPLOYED. I WAS TOO SLOW TO ACT IN BEFRIENDING HER, TOO SHY TO BE SO BOLD AND APPROACH HER. SO AT MY OWN PACE, I WORKED ON GETTING TO KNOW HER, NOT WITHOUT MUCH FRUSTRATION THOUGH. I REMEMBER FIGHTING WITH MYSELF OVER A LACK OF CONFIDENCE AND COURAGE. MY FONDNESS OF HER BORDERED BETWEEN OBSESSION AND FANTASY.SWINGING LIKE A PENDULUM, MY EMOTIONS TICKED LIKE A TIME BOMB THAT COUNTED ITS FINAL SECONDS WITH THE INSATIABLE LONGING,TO BE HER MAN,TO BE HER LOVER, TO BE HER HUSBAND. I CARRIED THESE FEELINGS FOR HER FOR THREE YEARS AND DURING THAT TIME FINALLY MADE MY FEELINGS KNOWN.THOUGH WHEN I DID SHE ONLY HURT MY FEELINGS WHEN SHE ASKED ME WHAT KIND OF FUTURE WOULD WE HAVE? AND IN 1998 I TRIED TO SHOW HER HOW SERIOUS I WAS BY ENROLLING INTO A TRADE SCHOOL, BUT AS THE END OF THE FIRST SEMESTER DREW TO A CLOSE, I HAD MADE A TRUTHFUL CONFESSION TO MYSELF. THAT I HAD NO CLUE AS TO WHAT I WAS BEING TAUGHT. I COULD HARDLY EXPLAIN CURRENT FLOW AND FELT BURDENED BY THE COUNTLESS FORMULAS NECESSARY TO PROVE THE EQUATION MATHMATICALLY. THE LINE BETWEEN THE CLASSROOM AND THE FIELD BECAME BLURRED, AND I LOST MY NERVE TO CONTINUE, AND COULD NOT RISK FAILING, WHILE PAYING TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS AND THAT WAS THE ONLY EQUATION THAT I UNDERSTOOD. OF COURSE, WHAT IF I HAD PUSHED ON, MOVED FORWARD AND DIDN’T THROW UP MY HANDS IN SUBMISSION. MAYBE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A DIFFERENT OUTCOME, AND MAYBE ANA WOULD HAVE COME AROUND TO MY COURTING ATTEMPTS, EVENTUALLY WINNING HER HAND. INSTEAD, AFTER I QUIT RETS INSTITUTE, WE WERE SPENDING MORE TIME TOGETHER. I MEAN, IT WASN’T EXACTLY WHAT I HAD HOPED FOR,BUT I THOUGHT AT LEAST I WAS HANGING OUT WITH HER, YOU KNOW, IT FELT GOOD AND EXCITING LIKE THERE WAS A CHANCE THAT I WOULD BE ABLE TO HOLD HER IN MY ARMS ONE DAY. SHE HAD BEEN TRANSFERRED TO THE KEARNY LOCATION AND I STAYED IN NEWARK. BUT WE STILL KEPT IN TOUCH CALLING EACHOTHER FROM WORK, AND HER VOICE WOULD DRIVE A STAKE THROUGH MY HEART TELLING ME NO, WHILE HER STEALTHY SELFISH MOTIVES WOULD NEARLY LURE ME INTO HER TRAP. AFTER GIVING ME FALSE HOPE ON THOSE HOT SUMMERS DAY WHEN SHE PUT HER ARMS AROUND ME FROM BEHIND, SHE HAD ME BELIEVING THERE WAS A POSSIBILITY BETWEEN US. BUT SHE WOULD BURST THAT BUBBLE WHEN SHE ASKED ME TO MARRY HER, MERELY, FOR IMMIGRATION PAPERS. I DROVE HER HOME FROM WORK NEARLY ON A DAILY BASIS AND WE EVEN WENT OUT TO THE MOVIES AND NEAR THE END OF OUR PECULIAR FRIENDSHIP, WE WENT TO GREAT ADVENTURE. ON THE DAY OF THE GREAT ADVENTURE TRIP JULY 4TH WOULD BE THE BEGINNING OF THE END OF ALL THE HOPES THAT I HAD HAD. ALL THE FANTASIES THAT WOULD EVAPORATE INTO THIN AIR RIGHT BEFORE MY EYES. WHERE MY BEST FRIEND CHUCK MET ANA THAT DAY AND WOULD FORM A DATING RELATIONSHIP THAT EVOLVED OVER TIME INTO THE CONSUMMATION OF MARRIAGE JUST TWO YEARS LATER. AS I LOOK BACK IN RETROSPECT, I COULD SEE HOW WE WERE BOTH WRONG. I WAS WRONG IN MY ABSURDITY, IN WHICH I SOUGHT TO ANTE UP AND PUSH THE HAND OF DESTINY IN MY FAVOR, INSTEAD OF UNDERSTANDING THE HAND OF FATE AND HOW WE JUST WERE NOT MEANT TO BE. AND ANA WAS WRONG IN HER PROPOSAL TO ME, TO MARRY HER JUST FOR IMMIGRATION PAPERS.SHE KNEW HOW I FELT ABOUT HER AND NO ONE WOULD EVER AGREE TO SUCH AN OFFER KNOWING THEY WOULD ONLY END UP HURT IN THE END. NOT TO MENTION HOW IT HURT ME TO KNOW SHE DIDN’T FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT ME AS I DID ABOUT HER. IN THE FINAL WEEKS OF MY TENURE WHERE I HAD WORKED, FOR NEARLY SEVEN YEARS, OUR FRIENDSHIP THAT HAD BRIEFLY PEAKED WOULD QUICKLY COLLAPSE. AS I FOUND OUT ABOUT ANA AND CHUCKS RELATIONSHIP, LEAVING A MESSAGE ON CHUCKS PHONE SAYING THAT OUR FRIENDSHIP WAS OVER AND I NEVER WANTED TO SEE HIM AGAIN. I ABRUPTLY QUIT MY JOB ON ONE WEEKS NOTICE, WHERE I STILL HAD NOT RECEIVED THE PAY INCREASE PROMISED TO ME FOR THE LAST MONTH OR SO. I HAD APPLIED AT A MATTRESS COMPANY THE SAME DAY I QUIT IN ECKERT AND WAS HIRED.I ONLY WORKED THERE FOR THREE WEEKS BEFORE THEY LET ME GO. AND FOR ALMOST A MONTH I COLLECTED UNEMPLOYMENT BEFORE MY FORTUNES WOULD CHANGE, AFTER MUCH COAXING FROM MY MOTHER TO APPLY AT FORTUNOFF. I FINALLY DID AND WAS CALLED IN FOR AN INTERVIEW AND WAS HIRED. 5 -WORKING @ FORTUNOFF- IT WAS RIGHT AROUND HALLOWEEN TIME IN THE FALL OF 98’ WHEN I STARTED MY NEW JOB AFTER ALL OF THE EVENTS THAT HAD TAKEN PLACE.IT WAS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED, A CHANGE OF ATMOSPHERE, A NEW PLACE WITH FOREIGN FACES, A NEW WORLD FULL OF INFINITE POSSIBILITIES AND A SMORGASBORD OF POTENTIAL FRIENDSHIPS. MY FIRST FRIEND I WOULD MAKE AT FORTUNOFF WAS ERWIN TEJANO. AND IT WOULD BE THROUGH ERWIN THAT I WOULD HAVE MY FIRST ENCOUNTERS WITH THE FILIPINO CULTURE AND COMMUNITY. DURING THE SHORT TENURE OF OUR FRIENDSHIP, I HAD TAGGED ALONG TO MANY OF THE PARTIES IN THE FILIPINO COMMUNITY THAT HE WAS INVITED TO. AND IT WAS DURING THIS PERIOD THAT I BECAME FRIENDS WITH CELESTE AND JOLINA, TWO FILIPINAS WHO ALSO WORKED AT FORTUNOFF. ON A NUMBER OF OCCASIONS ALL OF US WENT OUT TO CLUBS, POOLHALLS, AND PARTIES. 6 -LOOKING FOR MY PRINCESS IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES- IN THE SPRING OF THE FOLLOWING YEAR ERWIN INTRODUCED ME TO A YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL FILIPINO GIRL, MICHELLE BRAGOLI, WHO HAPPENED TO BE LIVING HALF WAY ACROSS THE GLOBE IN CEBU, PHILIPPINES. WE BEGAN CHATTING OVER THE INTERNET, SENDING INSTANT MESSAGES TO EACH OTHER, GOING FOR HOURS UNTIL THE FIRST LIGHT OF DAWN. IT DIDN’T TAKE LONG THOUGH BEFORE I STARTED CALLING HER, BUYING TEN DOLLAR PHONE CARDS ALMOST EVERY OTHER DAY. MICHELLE HAD SENT ME NUMEROUS PICTURES, WHICH I DO NOT HAVE ANYMORE. SOLO SHOTS, PICTURES WITH HER FAMILY AND FRIENDS, EVEN A HOMEMADE VIDEO OF HER HANGING OUT WITH ERWIN, HANNAH AND HAZEL IN CEBU DURING ERWINS SUMMER VACATION. WHEN HE HAD RETURNED FROM P.I. HE GAVE ME THE VIDEO AND OTHER SOUVENIRS THAT HE AND MICHELLE WANTED ME TO HAVE. DURING ERWINS VACATION JOLINA AND I HUNG OUT A BIT. AS WE WENT OUT TO THE MOVIES TOGETHER A COUPLE OF TIMES.WE SAW THE MUMMY AND THE MATRIX AND I REMEMBER WANTING TO MAKE AN ADVANCE TOWARDS HER, BUT MY COURAGE FAILED ME AND SO, IT WAS JUST ANOTHER CASE OF WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN. KEEP IN MIND THOUGH,I WAS IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WITH MICHELLE,WHO I NEVER MET IN PERSON. CELESTE WAS ANOTHER FILIPINA I WAS FRIENDS WITH SHE WAS TALL AND THIN WITH LONG LEGS AND SHE WOULD WEAR SUCH SHORT SKIRTS THAT LEFT VERY LITTLE TO THE IMAGINATION. I REMEMBER MY ATTRACTION TO HER, WHICH WAS MORE SEXUAL THAN ROMANTIC AND HOW SHE WOULD LATER DISCOVER THIS THROUGH ERWIN, WHO HAD TOLD HER OF MY FONDNESS FOR HER.WHICH HAD EVENTUALLY LEAD TO HER PROPOSITIONING ME,ONE WINTER NIGHT IN 2001 AT JOEYS CLUB IN CLIFTON. BUT I IGNORED THIS PROPOSAL,BY ACTING AS IF I DIDNT HEAR HER AND TURNED THE CONVERSATION IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION. NOW I WONDER IF I HAD ONLY SHIED AWAY FROM HER BECAUSE, I WAS TURNED OFF BY SUCH AGGRESSION OR WAS IT DUE TO MY OWN RELIGIOUS INCLINATIONS THAT GAVE ME THE IMPULSE TO RETRACT OUT OF REVERENCE AND OBEDIENCE TO GOD OR COULD IT HAVE BEEN DUE TO MY ENGAGEMENT TO A YOUNG LADY NAMED CLARISSA, WHO WAS WORKING IN NORWAY. 7 *ENGAGEMENT & MARRIAGE* I WAS INTRODUCED TO MY WIFE BY A FELLOW COWORKER, HER BROTHER IN LAW, LEO BAUSA. SHE WAS WORKING FOR THE AMERICAN EMBASSY IN MICHIGAN. WE HAD SPOKEN A NUMBER OF TIMES OVER THE PHONE, STARTING IN AROUND MID SEPTEMBER OF 99′ AND IN OCTOBER, ON THE WEEKEND OF THE FIFTEENTH SHE CAME TO NEW JERSEY TO MEET IN PERSON. IN THAT TWO DAY ENCOUNTER THINGS WENT QUITE WELL AND WE BOTH KNEW FOR SURE THAT WE WOULD BE SEEING EACHOTHER AGAIN SOON.THOUGH THINGS HAD CHANGED AND SHE WENT BACK TO NORWAY TO WORK FOR THE EMBASSY THERE AND WE HAD TO PUT OFF SEEING EACHOTHER TIL EARLY 2000. SO OUR NEXT TIME AND PLACE TO BE TOGETHER WOULD BE TO GO TO HER HOME COUNTRY IN THE PHILIPPINES.ON THIS TRIP I HAD MET MY INLAWS TO BE. AND ALL I CAN REMEMBER IS BEING TREATED WITH SUCH HOSPITALITY AND SUCH A WELCOMING THAT I FELT I HAD FOUND A BIT OF HEAVEN HERE ON EARTH CERTAINLY I HAD NEVER EXPERIENCED ANYTHING LIKE IT BACK HERE IN JERSEY,MAYBE IN VERY SMALL DOSES.BUT I REMEMBER FEELING LIKE A KING IN PARADISE. I ALSO REMEMBER THE ATTENTION I GOT WHEREEVER I WENT,I FELT LIKE A CELEBRITY.EVERYONE WOULD LOOK AT ME LIKE IT WAS THE SECOND COMING. THIS HAD BEEN MY FIRST TIME TRAVELING ANYWHERE OUT OF THE US.NOT TO MENTION CLARISSA AND I HAD GONE IN FEBRUARY SO I WOULD GLADLY MISS 2 AND A HALF WEEKS OF WINTER. LATER ON IN 2000, I WOULD VISIT CLARISSA WHERE SHE WORKED AT THE AMERICAN EMBASSY IN OSLO, NORWAY. I WOULD ALSO PROPOSE TO HER THERE ON THURSDAY, AUGUST 17TH. 8 -2001:WHAT A YEAR- MY WIFE AND I MARRIED ON APRIL 19TH 2001. A DAY I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER AND CHERISH.I CAN HONESTLY SAY I HAVE CONTENTMENT AND PEACE IN MY LIFE. CLARISSA IS A GIFT FROM GOD. SINCE OUR UNION,THERE HAS BEEN MUCH LEARNED ABOUT HER, WHICH HAS ONLY LED ME TO APPRECIATE HER EVEN MORE WITH EVERY PASSING DAY.HER LOVE AND HER CARE FOR ME IS SIMILAR TO GODS INFINITE LOVE. HER FORGIVENESS FOR MY MISTAKES AND SHORTCOMINGS IS NOTHING SHORT OF GODLINESS. SURE EVERY COUPLE HAS THEIR OWN CHALLENGES,TESTS AND TRIALS,BUT GOD HAS BROUGHT US OUT BETTER AND STRONGER THAN WE WERE BEFORE. GODS GRACE HAS BEEN THE DIFFERENCE IN OUR LIVES AND THE REASON WHY OUR LOVE REMAINS TO BE A LIVING TESTAMENT TO OTHERS AROUND US TODAY. I WOULD LIKE TO PICK UP IN 2001.WHEN MY WIFE TO BE CAME IN TO VISIT ME AROUND THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR FOR A WEEK. AT THIS TIME THE PETITION TO BRING HER HERE AND MARRY HER, HAD BEEN FILED SINCE OCTOBER OF 2000. IT WAS BY MID FEBRUARY 2001 THAT WE WERE INFORMED OF THE DATE THAT SHE WOULD FINALLY COME TO AMERICA. ON MARCH 30TH, WHAT AN AWESOME DAY, I COULD NOT WAIT FOR IT TO COME. YET IT CAME, IT SEEMED AN ETERNITY TO DO SO.BUT SHE IS WELL WORTH THE WAIT. AND NOW, IT IS FOR ETERNITY WITH THE CONSUMMATION OF OUR LOVE THROUGH THE SACRED BIND OF FAITH AND GODS LOVE THAT UNITES US IN THE SAME SPIRIT. IN THE SAME YEAR, MY GRAND FATHER JOSEPH GOMEZ WOULD PASS AWAY ON JUNE 1st, AND MY MOTHER LOST HER JOB THAT SUMMER, WHICH LED TO HER SELLING HER DREAM HOME THAT SHE LOVED SO, AND THE TRAGEDY OF 9/11 THAT SHOOK OUR NATION, CHANGING OUR WORLD, AND THE BIRTH OF MY FIRST NEPHEW FROM MY FAMILIES SIDE, MY BROTHER JOES SON, MATTHEW ON SEPTEMBER 26TH. THE PAIN AND HEARTACHE MY MOTHER AND FATHER ENDURED FROM LOSING HER JOB AND THEIR HOME, AND THE TERROR OF 9/11 WERE FOLLOWED BY THE BIRTH OF MATTHEW. A NAME WHICH MEANS (GIFT OF GOD) WAS BEAUTIFULLY AND PERFECTLY TIMED AND ORDAINED BY GOD. AT SUCH A TIME AND OUT OF SUCH DESPAIR WOULD COME SUCH A BLESSING. WHO CAN EXPLAIN THE HEARTBREAK AND THE AGONY OF LIFE SOMETIMES EXCEPT THAT EVIL IS REAL AND MISFORTUNE IS ALSO REAL BUT SO IS THE LORDS BLESSING AND THE LORDS FAVOR. EVEN WITH SOME OF THE PAINFUL AND TRAGIC EVENTS THAT TRANSPIRED IN 2001, THERE IS NO WAY I WOULD TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. WHY? BECAUSE, I MARRIED THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, AND ALSO FOR THE BIRTH OF MY NEPHEW MATTHEW. I ALSO HAVE COUNTLESS NEPHEWS AND NIECES IN THE PHILIPPINES THROUGH MY INLAWS. WOW! BLESSED INDEED!. 9 -2002-2005:THE PASSING OF MY IN-LAWS, FAMILY MATTERS, LIFE GOES ON- AS MY WIFE AND I SET OUT ON OUR OWN MOVING INTO AN APARTMENT, IM SAD TO SAY THAT MORE GRIEF WOULD COME IN 2002. WHEN MY MOTHER IN LAW WOULD PASS AWAY. THIS WAS HARD FOR MY WIFE AND EVEN HARDER,BECAUSE OF THE MILES THAT SEPARATED HER FROM OUR FAMILY IN THE PHILIPPINES. IT WAS NOT A HOP,SKIP, AND A JUMP AWAY. NEVERTHELESS, WE MADE THE SOMBER JOURNEY TO BE THERE FOR THE WAKE AND THE FUNERAL. OVER THE NEXT FOUR YEARS I ADMIT MY SELFISHNESS IN REGARDS TO MY WIFES FINANCIAL CONCERNS AND PROVISIONS FOR THE FAMILY IN THE PHILIPPINES. I HAD DISPUTED WITH HER OVER THIS ISSUE BECAUSE I FELT IT WAS TOUGH JUST TO TAKE CARE OF OUR OWN NEVER MIND SUPPORTING EVERYONE ELSE THERE. I WAS SELFISH IN MY ATTITUDE AND FAILED TO SEE IT OR REFUSED TO.THIS LED TO A NUMBER OF DISPUTES ABOUT MONEY AND FINACIAL ISSUES. BUT IN REALITY, I THINK ALOT OF COUPLES HAVE DISAGREEMENTS ABOUT MONEY IN MOST RELATIONSHIPS. ITS NOT EASY TODAY,BUT GOD IS GOOD AND HIS ABUNDANCE OF SUPPLY HAS NO LACK. THIS PERIOD WAS FROM 2002-2006. SINCE THEN I HAVE CHANGED MY WAYS OF THINKING AND ACTUALLY ENJOY THE FACT THAT IM HELPING OTHER PEOPLE, PARTICULARLY FAMILY. IN 2003 WE BOUGHT A NEW CAR,A HONDA CIVIC LX. BUT I MADE A MISTAKE AND LOOKED AT CARS WITHOUT MY WIFE AND INCLUDED MY FAMILY TO HELP ME WITHOUT HER. IT WAS NOT INTENTIONAL ON MY PART. I JUST DID NOT THINK ABOUT WHAT I WAS DOING. AND FAILED TO REMEMBER A PROMISE I MADE TO HER ABOUT GOING OUT AND LOOKING AT CARS TOGETHER. THIS MISTAKE CAUSED SOME TENSION AND DISPUTES AND SURELY I WILL NOT LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN. IN 2004, MY WIFE WAS LET GO FROM HER JOB AND UNEMPLOYED FOR 2 MONTHS UNTIL JC PENNEY HIRED HER ON JUNE 29TH. THIS SAME YEAR,MY NEPHEW JOSEPH WAS BORN ON SEPTEMBER 28TH. DURING THIS YEAR I TOOK UP WRITING THROUGH 2007. ANYTHING FROM STORIES, TO JUST EXPRESSING MY FEELINGS, TO PROSE, POETRY, ECT. IN 2005 MY FATHER IN LAW WOULD PASS AWAY IN THE PHILIPPINES. I REGRET NOT GOING WITH MY WIFE TO HIS WAKE AND FUNERAL. IT STILL BOTHERS ME TODAY. I REMEMBER MY WIFE AND I ARGUED ABOUT IT BEFORE SHE LEFT AND HOW HORRIBLE I FELT WHEN SHE DID LEAVE.I FELT SO GUILTY ABOUT NOT GOING WITH HER. I HAD 2 WEEKS TO THINK ABOUT IT. WHEN SHE CAME BACK, I APOLOGIZED AND THINGS WENT BACK TO NORMAL BUT I STILL HAD ISSUES WITH SENDING SO MUCH MONEY TO THE PHILIPPINES AT THAT TIME. 10 -2006-2009:TRIALS, CHALLENGES & WANDERING- IN 2006 I BECAME UNHAPPY AT WORK OVER NOT GETTING THE LEAD POSITION OF MY DEPARTMENT.NEEDLESS TO SAY IT SHOWED IN MY ATTITUDE AND HOW I CARRIED MYSELF. I DID GET OVER IT QUICKLY THOUGH. SEE, I HAD MET THIS PASTOR WHO WORKED AT THE SAME BUSINESS I WORKED FOR AND HE WOULD SHARE THE WORD OF GOD WITH ME AND I DID LIKEWISE. SOON, WE BEGAN HAVING BIBLE STUDIES TOGETHER. HIS NAME WAS NATHANAEL AND HE KNEW THE BIBLE LIKE THE BACK OF HIS HAND. IF I ASKED A QUESTION ABOUT A CERTAIN VERSE BUT DID NOT KNOW THE VERSE OR BOOK HE WOULD KNOW AND MANY TIMES SAY IT OUT LOUD FROM MEMORY. SOON WE WOULD HAVE A THIRD MEMBER, HER NAME WAS IESHA. ON A FEW OCCASIONS THE 3 OF US PRAYED TOGETHER AND IT WAS AN EMPOWERING AND YET PEACEFUL MOMENT. WHAT A COMFORT, PEACE AND ASSURANCE I RECEIVED THROUGH THE GRACE OF GOD. HOW GOD BROUGHT THESE PEOPLE INTO MY LIFE FOR A SEASON IN WHICH I NEEDED IT MOST. THANK YOU LORD. I LOVE YOU. THE FALL FROM GRACE IS A HARD ONE INDEED, AND I FELL HARD.SEE I HAD BECOME FRIENDS IN 2006,WITH THIS LADY NAMED HEATHER. THIS FRIENDSHIP BECAME AN UNHOLY ALLIANCE THAT WOULD NEARLY DESTROY MY MARRIAGE. AS A WISE MAN ONCE SAID: “WOMEN ARE THE RUINATION OF A GOOD MAN”, PATRICK WAS RIGHT, AT LEAST IN THIS CASE. I HAD HORRIBLE JUDGEMENT AND GOT CAUGHT UP IN HEATHERS PERSONAL CONFLICTS WITH OTHER PEOPLE AT WORK AND SOON WE WERE HANGING OUT AT KARAOKE BARS. I MUST SAY NOTHING EVER HAPPENED BETWEEN HEATHER AND I.WE NEVER KISSED.WE NEVER HAD ORAL SEX. WE NEVER HAD SEX OF ANY KIND. THE WORST THING TO HAPPEN WAS MY LAPSE OF JUDGEMENT AND CAUSING MY WIFE TO LOSE TRUST IN ME AND NOT BELIEVE ME. AT THAT TIME SHE DIDNT BUT I DONT BLAME HER. OVER TIME THOUGH I HAVE GAINED HER TRUST BACK,ONLY TO LOSE IT AGAIN. FROM KARAOKE TO CLUBS IN 2007 AND 2008. WHILE MY WIFES TRUST IN ME WAS RESTORED, IT DID NOT TAKE ME LONG TO LOSE IT ONCE AGAIN. I BEGAN GOING TO CLUBS WITH MY BROTHER AND JUNIOR.DURING THIS TIME MY BROTHER WAS GOING THROUGH A TOUGH DIVORCE AND SPENDING TIME WITH HIM WAS IMPORTANT TO ME BUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS CALLING I BEGAN TO HEED OTHER VOICES OF DECEPTION. MY PRIORITIES WERE TURNED UPSIDEDOWN YET AGAIN, AND MY WIFE CLEARLY NOTICED.UNDERSTANDABLY, MY WIFE DID NOT TRUST MY BROTHERS NEW GIRLFRIEND MARIA, WHO MY BROTHER MET AT A CLUB AND DID NOT LIKE ME GOING TO CLUBS WITH JOE AND MARIA COMING ALONG BECAUSE MARIAS GIRLFRIENDS WERE THERE TOO.I UNDERSTAND MY WIFES FEELINGS ABOUT THIS NOW BUT I DID NOT SUBMIT TO THESE FEELINGS BACK THEN,WHICH CAUSED PASSIONATE TENSION BETWEEN US AND NUMEROUS FIGHTS. TODAY, I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND HER FEELINGS AND RESPECT HER FEELINGS ABOUT THIS MATTER. I ADMIT I WAS WRONG IN BOTH CASES, WITH HEATHER AND MARIA. I had posted this on facebook regarding that time. it was just a few years ago, when i was living in rebellion and darkness. i was living in the bondage of sin as a child of god. my life style had become one of addiction to night life, a carousing heart, a wandering eye and i was wandering so far from the lord and hurting the person closest to me. i was close to throwing the most important relationship in my life away because of my wandering heart. then soon, i had lost my job in 2009 and it was during this time that the lord began working on me and brought me to a place, where all i would focus on was him, learning more about him, his love for me and everything jesus had done for me on the cross and the power of his blood. while i was out of work and right on through to today the lord has continued his wonder working power within me in my life and the lives of others, transforming my mind and changing my heart. i didnt deserve gods grace, mercy and forgiveness but what an awesome god we serve. in his word it says…”quench not the spirit” this verse right here speaks volumes to me about our complete dependence upon “the spirit of christ, the hope of glory” within, “greater is he that is in us than he that is in the world” and “Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, -“AND SHALL BE IN YOU”. jesus’ very promise to us to send the comforter, the holy spirit and that he will be IN YOU.what an awesome gift from god, the holy spirit is doing miracles and wonders in our world today, and what a miracle god has done in my own life. QUENCH NOT THE SPIRIT! brothers and sisters in christ jesus who is the word become flesh and our lord and saviour!the king of kings and lord of lords! his word is our spiritual food. 2009:OUT OF WORK FOR 9 MONTHS *GOD MAKES ALL THINGS NEW* -BEGINNINGS: 2011-2015- I could begin in so many places but i would like to start on august 21,2011. it was during this time,i joined the worship team at church. little did i know at the time but it was the beginning of a new period of my life. where i was discovering the depth of my faith and who God is. it was a calling of service to God through worship & music. Andy Jelliffe was our worship leader, along with nick porcaro and michael giffone. susan soesbe was one of the vocalists along with myself. who would have known that i would be on the worship team not just singing though but worshiping God. since i was a teenager, i wanted to sing, i wanted to be a part of music but who would have thought it would be for worshiping God. the Lord was growing me in my faith through my relationship with him more and more. -Green Pastures Without A Pastor?- Even though our congregation would lose our pastor Don Flynn, who stepped down at the beginning of the new year in 2012, the Lord had other plans. i myself believed there were great times ahead looking forward to what the lord would do at riverside and behold the lord moved mightily. pastor hector ramirez, david jensen and other guest speakers began preaching at times but soon it would be clear in the coming months that it would be PASTOR hector who God would call to our church as pastor, soon becoming interim pastor later that year and finally become senior pastor in 2013. -Growing In The Word & In Prayer- In march 2012,i joined the mens group that meets every tuesday to study Gods Word and Pray together and we still meet today, Pastor Hector, joe, fred and myself. we met mostly at Fellow Elder Richard Wilsons house,who recently passed away on december 25,2015 and went home to be with the lord. I learned with these men that a consistant daily study of the Bible is one of the foundations of the christian life, as well as our daily prayer life are essential in our relationship with Jesus Christ. -Surrender & Serve- On june 3rd,2012,i would be baptized and through the summer of 2012, he also called me to serve in the soup kitchens, the poor of our communities. in september,he would then call me to be an elder of the church. on october 7th, my wife and i of 11 years renewed our marriage vows. the next year,i was installed as an elder on february 10th,2013. over the next 2 years, i would actually lead or co-lead 3 mens meetings and in 2015 i would lead worship 3 times. Serving on the worship team has been a blessed experience along side, vocalists: Susan, Amanda, Christina, Cheryl, Gail, and Jessi. musicians: Andy, Nick, Michael, Roland, Andrew, James, Fred, Al, Ron, Jayson and Billy. Serving God with my wife has been a tremendous blessing. Clarissa is an usher and a greeter and also helps in cleaning up at the end of service. our marriage has become stronger and we have faced many challenges but the Lord has strengthened us and blessed us,keeping us through all of them and bringing us through all of them. we will be married for 15 years on april 19th and together we have learned its alot like serving the Lord being that the more you surrender to the relationship, the closer you grow to the other and your values begin to align to the one you surrender to becoming more and more alike. Selah. *YESTERDAY,TODAY & FOREVER* 1994 – 2016 – -Rewind 2009-2010 In 2009,i would be out of work for 9 months from june until february 2010. the longest time period out of work since after graduating high school in 1991, which was 5 months. during the time i was out of work in 09,i began reading the bible more and seeking God again. its important to say that before 2009, i was on and off with the lord. -Rewind-Forward-Selah- while my new found faith in Jesus Christ began in 1995 and my seeking was more evident to others at that time. come 1996, i began wandering but in 1997 i drew closer to Jesus only to wander again on and off through 1998-2001. in 2001 another resurgence of faith began into 2002 though on and off again. in 2004 was another resurgence,in 2006 was another. when i lost my job in 2009, it helped set me on course to begin to seek the lord again, only this time over the next 7 years my faith and walk with the lord jesus would grow deeper into the roots of stronger faith and spiritual growth and maturity, all to the glory of God. Selah. 2016 – Revelations now and into The Future OH WHAT Jesus has done for us once and for all by his sacrificial death on the cross where his blood was shed for our sins, for the forgiveness of our sins The Bible does tell us that when the redeemed in Jesus Pass Away and enter into the presence of the lord in heaven that we shall be with him & we shall be like him but we shall be like him now as well. once were with Him in eternity and have come to know him face to face he is simply All We Will Desire, Worship, Love and Adore in Heaven for All Eternity. He is this now to us, by the presence of His Holy Spirit, while we have Glympses, portions and doses of his glorious presence. He is everything and more to us in our lives now yes we in Christ can stand sure on his promises found in his word, that we experience the glory of his presence in wonder and awe -Fully- in his awesome presence here and now in the kingdom of heaven within us and in the coming glorious eternal Kingdom of Heaven,we will be unfettered without sin, hindrance or distraction of any kind, just Him in all his Glory, Beauty, Splendor and Majesty. Selah Sacred Memoirs 2007-Present Beginnings 2015-Present

[benvoliio]

all

lantern - how did you meet your best friend? What were your first impressions of each other?

i met my two best friends when i was a dork with no friends in 6th grade, one of them came over to me in the lunch line and literally stole my wallet. i chased her back to the table and somehow became part of that group lmao

frost - if you could give some advice to your younger self, what would you say?

you don’t HAVE to do full ib i know theres stigma but you can just take ib art and ib history and ib english and forget the rest

maple - is there a hobby / skill that you’ve always wanted to try but never did?

i’ve always wanted to make those little animated music videos people put up on youtube i think they’re so cool!!!

harvest - what fictional character do you most identify with? Why?

👀  romeo montague for…. Reasons

fireside - if you had your dream wardrobe, what would it look like?

lots of floral lots of yellow lots of cool socks and sweaters

cider - a food that you disliked as a child but now enjoy?

pickles

amber - share an unpopular opinion that you may have.

i’d say “r&j is a good play” but that’s only unpopular on a larger scale everyone who reads this probably agrees with me if theyre on my blog haha

fog - how well do you think you’d do in a zombie apocalypse scenario?

probably bad? i might survive by accident

jack-o-lantern - if you could look like any celebrity, who would you choose?

cole sprouse

spice - have you ever encountered a house that you believed to be haunted?

no and i hope i Never Do

orchard - share one thing that you’d like to happen this autumn.

id like to make better quality art than i’ve been producing for the last month or so lmao

crow - which school subject do you wish you had an aptitude for?

i would really like to be better at math

bonfire - describe your dream house.

not huge but tall celiengs, surrounded by a garden i can fill with plants, lots of sunlight, lots of soft chairs with blankets, small library/wall with floor to ceiling bookshelves and a LADDER. multiple pianos and also a little art studio would be nice

cinnamon - if you had to live in a time period different than the present, which would you choose and where?

i’d go anywhere in the future! maybe not like the recent future but later when maybe we’ve got things somewhat sorted out. either that or the renaissance because ART

cobweb - (if you’ve graduated) do you miss high school?

nope! i miss my hometown a little and my family a lot but i dont miss school

cranberry - what’s one physical feature that you get complimented on?

one time i got tons of indirect compliments becuase i used a photo of my own eyes as a reference for painting that turned out really well. hairdressers also really like my hair colour apparently although theyve also made me reluctant to dye it even though i kind of want to because it might not grow back the same blonde????? aaaaa

maize - share the weirdest encounter you’ve had with a stranger on the street.

some random university student tried to ask me on a date at the bus stop once when i was in grade 11. he asked if i like coffee. i said no (i dont). “tea?” “no” (i didnt at the time) “…hot chocolate? (why did this guy keep trying)” “sure” (why didnt i lie). he suggested geting hot chocolate sometime to which i gave a non commital response. i eventually agreed to give him my number “next time” becuase i had no idea what to say and then just never went to the bus stop that early ever again.

quilt - how do you take your tea (or coffee)?

2-5 sugars depending on mood and a little to some milk also depending on mood.

pumpkin - do you think that humans are inherently good or bad?

i hope we’re good

moonlit - are you a neat or messy person? Is your room / house orderly?

probably on the messier end lol. my room is orderlyish but only becuase i have a roommate and so make an effort 

flannel - have you ever gone on a bad date?

ive never been on any date….. damn shoulda said yes to bus stop guy

cocoa - if you could have any type of hair, what colour and cut would you have?

litsen i finally got the cut of my dreams in june so im pretty good. but maybe like an inch or two shorter and also curlier and maybe pink?

ghost - is there someone that you miss having in your life?

i miss benjamin franklin my dog who died in january he was my best pal and the sweetest most gentle most friendly lab retreiver i still have yet to meet a nicer dog. a Good Boy.

#thanks winter omg #tycutiovevo #ask

[noxiim]

(1/3)Okayyyy so i mightve sent a few asks abt this before but this topic is really now bugging me cuz i have depression and im sensitive to like everything. Im starting to take this "not getting notes on my art" thing really personally and i know it sounds childish (and i laugh at myself for it) but i cant help but get upset when i spend so much time and effort and get like no feedback. And i know people say not to draw what u love and not for attention but honestly i dont even know what

and i dont even know if im drawing what ilike sometimes. Yeah i love bts but i dont know if i like what im drawing or ifim just doing it for notes???? And i have a lot of anxiety too and thats wherei feel like im taking this too personally. Cuz im starting to think that my artdoesnt get notes cuz its straight up not good which leads me to think ishouldnt even try to pursue a career in art anymore. But im not good atanything else so wtf am i gonna do if i dont succeed in art???? Like i said i laugh at myself for thinking like this and iprobably sound like a fuckin child but i cant help it???? Like i think my artis decent???? But maybe its not???? Idk like this was really hitting me todaycuz i feel like im wasting so much time and im probably gonna be one of thosepoor college students cuz i decided to focus on art more rather than taking ajob cuz i thought i could make money off of my art but yknow clearly its notgoing so well and im scared for my future U dont have to give advice to all of that i just needed tolet that all out 

Aw dude don’t worry I get what you mean,I actually experienced something similar when I first started posting my art totumblr, and even recently when I first started posting bts fanart. It’sperfectly normal to want recognition (in this case in the form of notes) forsomething you worked so hard on!! I think one of the major issues with postingto such a big fandom such as bts though is that there’s so many peopleproducing content at any given time, that it’s incredibly easy to get drownedout. Especially since tumblr changed how search and track tagging worked, itmade it that much harder for people to get noticed for their content.

When I first switched to drawing for bts,I found it hard because I also focused a lot on my note count. For someone whowas originally well established in a previous fandom, the move to bts was quitea jarring experience. I had built my following on tf2 art, and used toconsistently get a couple hundred notes, but one of main reasons why I left wasbecause of the dwindling of note counts. When I first left, overwatch had justcome out and a lot of attention shifted towards that game away from tf2, andalthough I still love the game, the dramatic decrease in notes on my art fortf2 really made me sad and I ended up deciding to leave the fandom after 3years of drawing tf2 art. I hopped around a bit, before eventually getting intobts. Even then, my first few pieces (they’re not on my #bts fanart tag so mostpeople wouldn’t have ever seen them) either got no notes at all or only two orthree. It was easier for me to establish myself in a fandom such as tf2 back inthe day since it was such a small, tight knit community with limited contentcreators, but now with bts there are so many more people and it just seemedhopeless for a while and I lost motivation in my art. I stopped wanting todraw, since it felt like nobody cared. Art is the biggest hobby I have, solosing my confidence in my art was crushing.

Now you might be wondering how I got towhere I am today. I’ll be completely honest with you. For me, I highly doubt Iwould be anywhere near where I am if it weren’t for networks. I had neverjoined a network before, but decided to join armiesnet and jimin network one daywhen I saw that applications were open. I got accepted, and I joined theirrespective group chats too. I met lots of great people on those chats, and madea lot of new friends which was nice after having moved fandoms and lost touchwith many previous mutuals. I’m so glad I joined networks, because not only doyou have the chance to make mutuals who will support you and your art, thenetwork blog itself also reblogs all its members’ content which gives youexposure to members of the network through both the network tag and through thedashboard. It’s a perfect way to get started, rather than hoping that somebodywith a decent following will happen to stumble across your work in the tags oneday and reblog it.

That being said, unless you’re like somesort of godly human being I don’t think we can ever get over how note countsfeel as an artist. We need something to gauge people’s response to our art, andthat tends to default to note counts. I can assure you that the feeling of disappointmentwhen your post doesn’t get as many notes as you want/expected it to is a thingpretty much all artists on this site shares. People always say “you should drawfor yourself, not for other people” but that’s the equivalent of like say themona lisa being painted and then left to rot in Da Vinci’s closet or something.The whole point of art is sharing your ideas/love for something through yourdrawings with other people, and so it’s perfectly normal to want therecognition you deserve for working so hard and putting so much love into yourcraft. When it feels like you’re all alone, you have to remember not to giveup. Creating art in such a big fandom can be unforgiving, but just rememberthat your art is never the one at fault. It’s all about finding that littlegolden window of exposure, whether it be through one big blog or a couplesmaller blogs reblogging your work. Those kind few people will be what helpsyou grow, and you have to keep posting for that to happen. If you water a plantbut it doesn’t bloom the next day, abandoning it will get you nowhere. If youjust keep going, keep watering it, results will come. Keep reminding yourselfthat you’re doing well, and you can compare older art to your current art tosee the progress and keep you motivated. Don’t force yourself to draw if youaren’t feeling it – art is something that should make you happy. I used to drawbecause I felt the pressure to put out content, but that just resulted in mefalling into a negative spiral of art block, limited motivation and generalunhappiness with my art as a result. Remember that there’s no such thing as adeadline when it comes to posting art on tumblr – work at whatever pace suitsyou and if anybody tries to rush you, shut them down. You’re the artist, youget to choose what you do with your art, how you do it, and how long you spendon it.

If you truly have your sights set onbecoming an artist full time, then by all means go for it! I can’t give muchadvice in that area since I only plan on keeping art as a hobby, but justremember that art school is always optional. In the end, working as an artistis all about the portfolio, not where you graduated from. It’s more importantto work on your art than it is to get in to an amazing art school. Sure, artschools can be useful, but in the end they are simply tools, sort of like atutorial rather than something that will magically turn you into an amazing artistwith amazing job offers. At the end of the day, it’s all up to yourself to workhard and promote yourself. Since art is all about reaching different audienceswith your work, promoting yourself is essential, even if it’s just casualfanart on tumblr. Feedback can’t come without exposure, and exposure can’t comewithout self-promotion.

Lastly, remind yourself that there’s nosuch thing as ‘bad art’. That might sound like a stupid statement, but inreality art is a constantly changing thing. There is no pinnacle of perfection,no model artwork that represents the most perfect drawing out there. Everyonehas different styles, everyone has different approaches, and most importantly,everyone is still improving. I’m still learning and trying to improve my ownart, and there’s no shame in that. It’s easy to perceive someone else’s art asbetter than yours which would lead to some self-critical thoughts, but you haveto remember that the other artist is probably looking at their own art andpicking it apart, thinking “aw man there are so many mistakes here.” It’s fineto make mistakes, after all, that’s how we learn. Just because we see mistakesin our own art doesn’t mean that everyone else will too – nobody looks at artand their first thought is to list all of the mistakes present. As long as youare aware of what you are less confident in and actively work to improve it,you can quickly surpass even the people you look up to.

So yeah, sorry that this is hella longlol, but in all honestly I can understand what you’re going through. It’seasier said than done, but even though it might feel hard - don’t give up. Youmight feel like you’re not getting anywhere at the moment but I assure you thatif you just keep going, things will only get better. That’s the thing abouttumblr, if you keep posting art your audience can only grow. For now, I would definitelyrecommend joining some networks, and making some friends. It’s not uncommon forpeople to promo their own work in the network chat occasionally, as long as youdon’t spam haha

Anywho, I wish you the best of luck withyour art journey. If you need me you know where to find me 💕💕💕

#long post #sorry I kind of rambled #but anon if you want to talk to me don't be afraid to message me instead #I'm always here if you need to vent 💕 #asks #Anonymous #art asks

[lordzuuko]

Hey!! Im a huge fan, btw love all of your art. But quick question. Have you ever thought about drawing adult lance/any of the other characters? I would love your take on them. Also, catch me up: what happened to lance and rax(?)? I miss stuff lol. Love your art and aus!!❤️💛💚💙💜

Thank you

[The Voltron Family] Lance and Rax, they lasted only 3 years, unfortunately. :( They broke up not because they had a fight or something, it’s because Rax wanted to study in a different country and he didn’t want Lance to suffer long distance relationship. It was mutual and they’re still friends. I mean, Hunk married Shay so they’re still brothers-in-law.

Oh but that didn’t mean teen Lance wasn’t heartbroken though. Lance came home after Rax broke up with him and it was Shiro who noticed it first.

Shiro: Hey, buddy. What’s wrong? You seem down?Lance: *looks up* *tiny voice* Rax broke up with me. *teary eyed*Shiro: Oh, Lance. *pulls him into a hug* I’m so sorry, sweetheart. *kisses Lance’s hair* Lance: *hugs his dad tight* I mean… I knew it was coming with all his plans to study in Sweden but like… *tears started falling* Shiro: *caresses Lance’s back* Lance: *whispers in between his sobs* Why did it have to hurt?Shiro: *frowns* Because what you felt for Rax was real.Lance: *looks up* I hate it.Shiro: Do you hate him?Lance: *shakes his head slowly* No, I don’t. I’m happy for him. I’m happy that he got accepted in his dream school and I’m just… Shiro: You’re just what?Lance: I’m just sad to know I wasn’t part of his fricking dream. *snorts* I know that sounded so cheesy but I’m hurting, Daddy Shiro, so I have an excuse.Shiro: *smiles sadly* I didn’t say it was cheesy, Lance.Lance: But it was though.Shiro: Yeah, it was a little cheesy but he’s—Lance: *falls back to his dad’s chest again and starts sobbing* He’s my first boyfriend. WAS. My first boyfriend. And I hate myself because I sound so selfish. I wanted him to stay with me but I can’t get in the way of his… *mumbles incoherent words*

They stayed like that for a while, Shiro letting Lance cry it all out. He wanted to talk to Rax but he was sure the boy was only saving Lance for further heartbreak. He knew where the boy was coming from. Keith arrived with groceries and saw them by the kitchen.

Keith: Well, this is such a touching scene to come home to. *smiles* Father and son all lovey-dovey—Lance: *looks up to see Keith* *eyes red from crying*Keith: *eyes widens* Oh no. Darling, what’s wrong? *drops his bags and rushes to Lance with arms open wide*Lance: *hugs Keith tight* Rax broke up with me.Keith: *angry* What the? What did that boy do now?! I’m going to—Shiro: *places hand on Keith’s shoulder* *knew this was how Keith was going to react* Keith, calm down. Keith: *snaps head at Shiro* What do you mean calm down? My boy is crying and you expect me to—Lance: it was mutual, Dad.Keith: *looks down at Lance* What? Mutual then why—Lance: Because I wanted him to stay with me for selfish reasons. *tells Keith the story again* Told him we could work out the long distance thing, but he said it wouldn’t especially for six years or so. I don’t get it—Keith: You’re both being selfish here actually.Lance and Shiro: *blinks at Keith in confusion* What?Keith: *rolls his eyes* This is why I’m the editor in this family. I see things a bit differently. *lifts Lance’s chin* I get where you’re coming from, sweetheart. But imagine it in Rax’s point of view. In all of those three years of you being together, I know the boy loves you—disgustingly so. *scrunches his nose in amusement* He sees an opportunity that would be a step closer to his goal. He grabs it. It’s six years or so as you’ve mentioned. Then there’s you in the picture, Lance. It’s not that you weren’t there in the future he envisioned. It’s because you were in the future he envisioned that he broke up with you.Lance: I can’t really say I’m following to be honest.Keith: *smiles sadly* Oh you sweet summer child of mine. *caresses Lance’s cheek to wipe his tears* A lot of things can happen in 6 years. Especially to those who don’t see each other. You’re a charming boy, Lance. Everyone knows that. And Rax might have been scared that in those 6 years he will notice you falling out of love with him. And to be honest, knowing someone who loves you a lot with all they’ve got, someone who’s so fond of you… knowing that one day they just don’t feel that way anymore, that would be the scariest and most painful. So I see this as Rax being selfish in his own way but also saving both of you from the biggest heartbreak of all.Lance: *stares at Keith* *starts tearing up again* I hate it when you’re right. *hugs Keith again tightly* Shiro: *smiles at Keith* *mouths* Spot on. *turns to Lance* Why don’t we grab some ice cream and have a Sailor Moon marathon?Lance: *still buried in Keith’s embrace* *mumbles* I’d love that. Curse boys!Keith: *chuckles* Now, now. Don’t curse boys. You’ll find another one.Lance: *looks up* But what if I don’t?Shiro: Then you’re stuck with us for the rest of your life. *chuckles*Lance: *beams* I don’t see what’s so wrong about that.Keith: Good. Then you and Pidge are stuck with us in this house—forever. No one’s allowed to leave. *pinches Lance’s nose*Lance: *giggles* I love you both.Keith and Shiro: CHEESEBALL. *rolls their eyes in amusement*

#a-literate-little-kitty #ask #sheith #the voltron family #awww lance ;A; #your daddies are all you need tbh #i love how the hearts are all voltron colours lmao

[tumblunni]

HELLO GHOSTCRAFTER PLEASE BRING ME YOUR FINEST GHOSTS

HEY GUYS DID YOU KNOW WARHAMMER NOW DOES FANTASY? GUESS WHO JUST FOUND OUT WARHAMMER DOES FANTASY

seriously ive like Always wanted to do tabletop games as a hobby, but i was never socially confident enough and also Warhammer In Particular Requires Money

But i just Took A Risk And Dived Into The Store and then the cashier was really helpful AND also it turns out the series has changed a lot since i was a kid! Now there's multiple scenarios including a fantasy one, instead of just the grungey edgelord sci fi! Sure its grungey edgelord fantasy too but fantasy is better cos fantasy can have GHOSTS!!! man i wanna learn more about the rules cos yo can you mix and match stuff? Could i have ghosts AND zombies AND vampires??? Do i really have to restrict my monster wuv...?

Oh and also NO BIGOTRY ANYMORE which is always a plus! There was only one female faction in the space thing back then, and they were creepy bondage sexy ladies who stab themselves and use their orgasm power to fuel their magic or something. Like it just said "magic fueled by suffering" but uhh..when theyre all skimpily dressed and doing O-faces it uhh..DOESNT SEEM LIKE THIS IS PUNISHMENT TO THEM. I cant believe people reccommeded that to me as a 12 year old just cos it was the only "girl one".like i mean i know the definition of the gane is gonna be violent and Dark but like you should still categorize some stuff as maybe Even Darker And Perhaps Not Sell To Smol Childe. Having green blood on your axe is a bit tamer than goddamn fifty shades in space! So yeah glad that's not the only option now and i can have a wonderfully ghoulish lady ghost who's like a bedsheet spoop but a wedding veil and then there's a skeleton underneath it. Mmmyeah thats quality monster! TRULY WHAT ALL WOMEN ASPIRE TO BE

Oh and yeah the ghosts just look SO GOOD! they have a great design aesthetic of floaty smokeyness but also skeletal zombieness. And the smoke colours are very Aesthetic to make up for the fact you cant actually have translucent plastic. And they all have super dynamic poses swinging all.sorts of cool.weapons on chains and sticks just so they had an excuse to spice up an otherwise ordinary figure. And then MAN when there's the ones that are dynamically posed AND also have a really unusual design?? God my heart just explodes. I looooove these spoops~

And man i hope i can work up the courage to go back and ask the cashier more questions next time! I wanna know the specifics of the rules and how creative im allowed to get with them. How different can i paint them? How am i allowed to mod my figures? Can you mix and match figures from each faction? Do you just have to rp as the plain army description for each faction or can you make up your own division of the ghost dudes who are Not Tormented and Not Ruled With An Iron Fist and instead have a Nice Boss Who Takes Them Out For Milkshakes? Also can i put little top hats on them?

And maaaaan seriously i already have so many ideas for alternate plotlines for these guys!! Its SUCH A WASTE! the short summary mentions that you become a ghost if you're "not good enough for [warhammer equivelant of heaven] and evil enough for [warhammer equivelant of hell]". But then ALL OF THEM ARE JUST EVIL ANYWAY. "Not evil enough" but still every single unit description is "he was an executioner/hunter/serial killer/world's worst criminal ever/he has so style he has no grace t t this stabman stabs u in th face." Like seriously where are my actual morally gray dudes who did bad stuff for good reasons or good stuff for sinful reasons or straddled the line between redemption and temptation or like MAN THERE ARE SO MANY DIFFERENT DEFINITIONS OF PURGATORY PERSON! Like why not bring up all the completely good people who might get unfairly sentenced here if this world's angel faction has as many corrupt priests as the real world? Ghosts of unwed mothers, unbaptised children, lgbt and other minorities the church is bigoted against, people falsely accused of crimes by corrupt pastors, peope whose mental illness is blamed as 'demon possession', teenage brides who didnt accept their 'holy' arranged mariage to a man twice their age, poor people who just didnt donate enough to the church caddy, etc. Or even just plain normal people? Like if you don't believe that humans are inherantly good you might damn Ol George Farmerson for "not doing anything with his life". Norse mythology had a "bad place" like that, everyone went to Helheim even if they werent evil, just for not "dying a warrior's death". And a lot of the worst child abusing christians twist the scripture to claim that all children are born sinful and have to work off this goddamn debt they gained through no fault of their own.

So yeah i was thinking of having a Nighthaunt faction division where i replace all their weapons with stuff like gardening tools and etc. Farmer of doom! Librarian of death! Single mother of pain! Kindly grandpa neighbour of ultimate power! Just all the lost souls of people who weren't super evil dudes. Maybe even theme it like theyre all from the same village? Maybe the entire place was damned for the sins of one man. Just generally criticize the hell out of the way all these dumbass gods organize their damn afterlife.

And then i could have a warden/general character who's Actually Nice and Actually Tries To Help These Ghosts Work Off Their Sentence. Kindly support worker type person. Treats it like voluntary work and extracurricular classes for people recovering from illness. Does all this paperwork and arranges little art classes and weekly walks around the park for all the grandmas. "Let's do the five-point recovery star to help plan our goals for the future!" Support ghost is here to help u accept ur new damned existance, and help progress up the employment ladder of hell~!

And then i was also thinking SHAMELESS CHARON CROSSOVER! i mean itd be so cool to have a ghost dude who's been damned for being a corrupt tax collector or something. And if he was all hunched over and grumply with some claw hands. And if he was this physically weak type due to his crimes not really being of the fighty sort. And if he was a grandpa. And small. I AM ABSOLUTELY JUSTIFIED IN SAYING CHARON WOULD FIT PERFECTLY INTO THIS WORLD!! Also it woukd actually be cool if i could mix and match units and i just had one single holy creature in this army of doom. Like a lil pixie type thing like rotom! An innocent barely-sentient angel glowybab, who's inexplicably latched onto this motley crew of spoops and seems to see a spark of goodness in them. Like the whole "youre a punished ghost cos you suck but you did One Good Thing so here's a small chance to escape your fate" myth thats common to a lot of cultures. And the dude usually ruins his one chance by being greedy again, blablabla. That would really fit Charon! So like i dunno maybe this rotom-equivelant lil celestial fairy could be the soul of a baby or a cat or something that he saved when he was alive? Like i dunno his final heist went catatrophically wrong and he accidentally knocked over a lantern and set the place on fire. And he could have been able to escape if he'd just been as selfish as usual, but he heard a kid crying from inside the burning building and he ran back inside to try and save them. And uhh.. He still failed. They both died. And now he's stuck on afterlife death row but this lil angel still comes to visit and cheers him on. And a bunch of other redeemable and/or falsely accused non evil ghosts all ended up becoming his buddies too and now they're all fighting together to find a better future~! (Charon: I'VE NEVER HAD SO MANY FRIENDS! :'D ...what is their resale value)

SO YEAH IN SUMMARY I LOVV GHOST AND ADDING GHOST MAKES ALL UR GAMES MUCH MORE BETTER now plz let me be nice to ghost, srsly it sucks that their whole deal is "theyre all being tortured constantly and not even their boss gives a shit about them". I dont wanna play as a ghost torturer!! I BOUGHT THIS GHOSTE BECOS I LOVV THIS GHOSTE