#closeted for my own safety

[tylerurdad]

being a little trans kid growing up not knowing i was trans or even having any sort of definition to what i was experiencing was so traumatizing honestly. being embarrassed about doing “girly things” not relating to my friends who were all girls. being embarrassed to tell my mom when i got my first period so i hid it from her for like 6 months. i never associated myself with my dead name even as a little kid i understood that i didn’t feel like that name meant Me as in that’s me im *deadname*. it still makes me so sad i wish i wasn’t trans. discovering i was trans and realizing tyler was my name was one of the lowest point in my life. I wanted to be like the other girls so bad. i never identified with anything they felt or understood about being a girl. being so sad as a 11 year old because i didn’t know what was “wrong” with me changed my whole life. i still haven’t told my family even at my big ass age because thinking about coming out makes me feel like an 11 year old again ashamed and embarrassed and confused and so sad

ok i’m done being emo!

#transmasc #ftm #trans #feeling emo #gender envy changed my life #closeted for my own safety #dysphoria is a bitch #dysphoric

[simplestoryteller]

so apparently my family doesn't like me being queer-friendly (I'm aro ace and an enby but I ain't tellin' them that) sooooo any hopes that might've clung to me on them accepting me if I came out, just flew right out of the window.

Good thing I never worked up the courage to get pride stuff (except for some stickers that were subtle milkshakes) because now I fear I might have raised their suspicions some.

Let's hope I'm wrong

#and people wonder why we stay in the closet #I'd rather not get murdered by my family or them kick me out thanks #closeted for my own safety #mabye one day it'll be safe #but not today

[autisticgayplushie]

hello!! i love your colorful plushies and would love to order one but i am worried. i am closeted and im not ready to come out yet. so does the packaging have pride flags or anything?

hi there! I am so happy you like the puppies! everything about them is meant to be discreet, from the design to my website to the packaging (each plushie is packed in a pink poly bag, and the packing slip, if included just has the name of the puppy, Sadie, Beau, etc.) the only place I mention pride related things is on social media, usually on this account or my twitter very occasionally.

that being said, it's important to be cautious still even when buying super discreet pride items. at the end of the day they are still the pride colors and some people may recognize them as such. safety is always a priority!

#plushie txt #asks #as someone who is closeted themselves and literally pulling this off while living in the same home as homophobic family members #id like to say thats a good indicator that theyre very discreet! I do it for my own sake as well as the people who are in the same place #but i would not be in physical danger in the chance I was outed #whereas i know thats not the case for many people. be safe when buying pride merch! #i know firsthand it's so lovely to have things to celebrate your pride #but safety should always be the priority. #for the first 8 i have alternate themes ive come up with if anyone would like to hear #Im typing these notes on my phone and keep forgetting that the comma separates the tags so im so sorry if theyre incomprehensible :'/

[t4tbruharvey]

'gender doesnt matter to me i dont mind how people perceive me!' ok well i do.

#sorry i just had to hear this take from a college administrator #like !!! you being nb doesn't mean you can [redacted] and it doesnt mean that all trans people will share your attitude towards gender #both viewpoints are cool. i would also at the same time like to keep trans kids out of rooms with cis people #of the opposite gender #for our own fucking safety like EYE (trans man) was scared. can you imagine how a closeted trans woman would feel #or an out trans woman or someone in my weird situation #think. for once #eve if you're seeing this you can ask for details if you want

[syscoursehell]

i've also been abused by women (and primarily women, even before transitioning), and i've experienced many cis women getting offended when i don't want them to touch me without consent and implying that i'm just transitioning due to "internalized misogyny", so frankly i'm not surprised at people pulling the "you just hate women" card about us just wanting to talk about our marginalization, but it is frustrating.

this is so fucking true, and i'm sorry you've been through what you have. similar situation here.

it's especially frustrating when you think about the whole concept of "women are warm and accepting" that seems to be so popular. women are people, men are people, people of all genders are people. everyone, regardless of their gender, is capable of harming other people.

if folks need a space to talk about the intersecting marginalization they experience, while also uplifting the voices of people who experience different forms of that intersecting marginalization, then that should be allowed. it's a fruitless conversation to imply that "oh, because your gender is masculine, you're automatically an oppressor/privileged" when that's simply not the case. i've been followed around stores, i've been harassed, i've been talked over and had people - who know that i'm trans - misgender and deadname me for "jokes". this shit is real, and it's worth talking about.

#adding onto that: i have to be closeted at home for my own safety. theres no privilege in that. #Tangent Time

[cosmik-homo]

Hmm. Transgender Alfred emotions again

#I'm thinking about my tendency to stick to convenience with my own transness. just. #closet myself forever not just for safety but for Convenience. doing the easy tjing of not making some changes i should be #with hair and wardrobe and whatnot. #and thinking about Alfred and holding on to Making Your Choices For Yourself Instead Of Waiting Them Be Made For You like a promise. #like a loyalty.

[twelvedaysinaugust]

This!! They worded this perfectly! Some people especially on tumblr need to read this and shut the fuck up

Yeah, exactly.

#I have some anons in my inbox #that are just very weird #I don’t understand why you would stan a closeted person #and then complain that he’s not doing enough #Louis’ first priority is always going to be his own safety and comfort

[khamomile-kitty]

I’m so fucking discouraged. I can’t even fully describe how fucking discouraged I am. I feel like I’m being crushed.

#I’m straight up nauseous. #I live in a white baptist INTENSLY right wing town and ppl are ducking celebrating like they didn’t just ruin ppls lives #*fucking #and I’m closeted (for my safety they would absolutely institutionalize me) so I can’t even do anything abt it #everything I own is monitored. I can’t use my bank account to donate bc the last time I did #I got terrifyingly close to being outed or worse. #I feel sick and stuck I just want to do something but I can’t even fucking get out of here #vent #kitty talks

[preciousbasketcasexx]

Just. Venting cause idk where else to do that.

#this has genuinely been the hardest 24 hours of my whole life. im dealing with a massive depressive episode in which i destroyed my skin #broke all my nails off and stopped giving a shit #i slept in makeup and applied more overtop #cant be assed to do anythung for myself but im trying and pushing abd trying to make other people feel loved because there are so many good #things and people in my life. they deserve to feel loved abd appreciated abd im lucky to do so #yesterday i helped someone in my store and gave them love and care and helped them because it makes me happy to do so only to find out #theyre my dads new gf and they came in looking for me to tell them my dad misses me.m #its been five years of no contact with my dad for my own reasons and i feel absolutley fucking gutted and betrayed. i feel shaky and #anxious. my whole body hurts abd feels tight and tense and i feel fucking scared to be in my own store #how could anyone do that? go into my place of safety abd stalk me and hold onto me and gaslight me #oh you’ve been dating since december? my parents were married for 35 years. good for you. my whole fucking life changed because of a #selfish man and i am so fucking happy you’re enjoying my dad #he was my best fucking friend and now he means nothing to me because of his choice to disrespect me #i am nothing but collateral damage #how fucking dare she. i dont know how to cope with this but i am so scared and i just needed to write it out #if you made it this far and actually read all of this i am so sorry #what did the janitor say when he came out of the closet? supplies.

[gaysindistress]

Things that I feel like would happen when you’re in a relationship with Simon Riley.

Simon Riley masterlist

1. First off he hates the word ‘boyfriend’.

Maybe it’s because he’s in his mid thirties or something but he can’t stand being called your boyfriend. He’s more than that but also not at the same time. You live together, have access to each other’s bank accounts (which is only because he hates it when you try to fight him about him giving you money), and you’re each others emergency contact. He thinks of himself as your husband. The man wears a silicone ring when he’s home and a necklace with the ring that’s totally not a wedding band when he’s working. Price has seen the chain once or twice and smirks, shooting him a knowing look but never says a word.

Simon cannot stand it when people get nosy and want to know what your relationship status is. You’re together and that’s all that matters. No one needs to know that you’re the beneficiary of his will and life insurance policy or that he’s put you on all of his accounts. No one needs to know that he buys you anything you want but has only ever bought you two rings; a thin gold band with a flower engraved on it and its twin a matching emerald ring. No one needs to know that when he gifted them to you, there were tears and promises of safety, love, and happiness whispered against feverish skin. No one needs to know that he has your name woven into his chest tattoo.

No one needs to know any of that because your relationship is between him and you only.

2. You are not some submissive little house wife. You are a strong independent woman and he prefers it that way.

I know this one goes against what most people say but hear me out on this. Simon has been independent since birth practically. He’s only had himself to count on for years. Even in the military, he’s only been able to rely himself. Sure the others watch out for him but if it came down to it, he’s the only one who’s going to get himself out alive.

The thought of someone else relying on him in that way is terrifying. He can’t even fathom what it would be like to look at another person and fully trust them in that way. Half the time he feels like he can’t even be trusted to take care of himself let alone another human. In theory a sweet docile housewife is great with the meals and clean house but not for him. He needs to know that you can hold your own. He needs to know that you can be independent and carry on without him if something happened while he was working. He needs to know that you will be okay if he doesn’t come back.

You have to be okay without him no matter how much it pains him to think about it.

Like I said before, he’s made you the beneficiary of everything so he knows you’ll be set financially but that’s not enough. He’s made Price promise to keep an eye out for you. He’s made you promise to let Price do that and you agreed because it’s Simon who’s asking but you’d tell anyone else to fuck off.

In addition to all of that, he’s installed the best security system the government has to offer in your house. You have a very expensive and large safe in your shared closet that he’s instructed you to only open if you feel unsafe. While you might not like it, you agree to go shooting with him so he can sleep at night knowing that you could protect yourself if he’s not home. He’s gone as far as to make sure you have all of the licenses and certificates that are needed to legally own firearms in the UK.

He’s not leaving any opportunity for you to be vulnerable or have your ‘safety checks’, as he calls them, taken away.

3. Simon Riley is a godless man…until he meets you.

Now this is entirely my own headcannon with no evidence to support it so bear with me.

Simon had a shitty childhood where his mom would pray to a god who never listened and his dad would shout verses at him when he was drunk. God was a mythical figure that he was told stories off with nothing to show for it. He did believe at one point but then his dad never got better, his mom wore bruises of every shade, and his brother found comfort in drugs.

He found himself praying when he was being tortured by the Mexican cartel. Between the flashbacks of his abusive past, he prayed to a god who had failed him so many times before to help him. He prayed again as he dug himself out of that Texas grave with the major’s jaw bone. He wailed his prayers when he found his family executed after Sparks tried to kill him.

After that he deemed himself a Godless man. Years of praying had passed with nothing. This god had decided that Simon was not worthy of a miracle so why would he continue to worship him?

That was until he met you. He finds himself praying before every mission, every time he has to leave you, every time he’s on his way home, and just about any other time he thinks of you. He doesn’t know what exactly he’s praying for other than for you to be there when he gets back.

He whispers his prayers to an absent god against your skin as he worships your body, soul, and heart. He promises to be devoted to you until his last breath and vows to find you again in whatever afterlife awaits you. He pledges to find solace in you and only you when his haunting nightmares return. He makes an oath to your heart that it will never weather another storm alone again for his will take whatever beating that comes your way. He shows you that he will love you in the same manner as a Hozier song; putting you above all else because you have become his religion, his faith, his beliefs, his life.

You have become all that he is and he thanks the god he once believed in for you. He prays again but to you, his heart, his love, and his beacon through the enteral storm of life.

#simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x female reader #simon riley imagine #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost imagine #ghost call of duty #ghost x reader #ghost cod #ghost #ghost x female reader

[genderqueerdykes]

people often talk about the amount of transfems who have to stay closeted for safety very often, and it is a lot of people, but it's very rarely acknowledged how many transmasculine people have to stay closeted for life as well. i really think it's important to talk about both sides of this, because so many people are affected by this issue.

society is openly hostile toward transmasculine, afab, intersex, and other ""non male"" people who genuinely try to pass as men. people like to say that it's accepted for afab people to crossdress-- but it's not. truly "crossdressing" as an afab person will get you mocked and threatened. before i transitioned, people would actually approach me and tell me that i couldn't wear men's clothing when i did. this never happened when i wore "masculine women's clothing." never. cishet people can tell by the subtle differences in the cuts of clothing, it's not that black and white.

attempts to behave in masculine and male ways will get you targeted. whenever i would hold open doors for men in my conservative redneck 1,000 person population home town, they would look at me like i had 3 heads when i was pre-transition. women aren't allowed to hold open doors for men, that's a man's place. women aren't allowed to use heavy machinery or tools. women aren't allowed to try to foot the bill. you get the picture. even certain masculine behaviors will get you yelled at or berated or worse.

going on testosterone is outright terrifying because unless the person responds to it poorly or doesn't take a very high dose, the effects are almost immediately noticeable, and many are completely irreversible. while most cishets don't know what a trans man is, they can instantly tell that they hate transmasculine people once they encounter one, especially one in very early medical transition. i had the worst time in the early days of my transition because i was such a "he-she". it really is hard, cishet people do NOT like this combination of features, either once they encounter it.

it's not easy for any of us, and it's tragic when any trans person has to live their entire life closeted for fear of safety. let's go ahead and acknowledge the transmascs, trans men, intersex, transneutral, nonbinary, genderqueer, drag king, crossdressing, transvestite, male impersonating, genderfluid, bigender and other folks in this sphere of transness who also have to hide for their own personal safety. we see you, you are beautiful, you are still trans even if you can't show the entire world who you are.

#transgender #trans #transmasculine #trans man #ftm #transmasc #trans men #trans guy #trans boy #nonbinary #enby #non binary #bigender #intersex #queer #lgbtqia #lgbtq #lgbt #trans dude #transsexual #crossdresser #drag king #drag artist #transneutral #our writing

[snavian]

:(

#had an awful dream that felt horribly realistic #like remembering it now there were some obviously not real parts. but the transphobia felt very very real #love being a closeted trans person i love fearing for my safety constantly i love never being able to be comfortable in my own home #(delete later)

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Well at least I'm not expressing any other horrific traits pouf has <- he is willing to remain openly trans in the state of fucking florida

#''if something terrible happens at least it will be in my line of duty 😤'' HELLO?? #I would rather drop dead than go back into the closet + most people dont like conflict but #one day the wrong person will try to hand me a wooden cross and will see the pronouns on my nametag #and i suppose that's the risk I'm willing to take to make other queer people feel safe with me but #i do jeopardize my own safety to an extent by having my buttons on my bag (which no one really sees at work but #it's all public bc it's on my bag i carry everywhere) and. idk. maybe i dont wanna accidentally martyr myself? #only thinking this morning about how this is potentially more and more dangerous as time goes on and. #standing up like this will only incur further risk and maybe that's not a good thing.. #hoatm rants

[nexo-nex]

Each day i find it harder to pretend to be straight to my family 😒

#b.txt #i'd say that ill never come out for my own safety but fidbdkdn #being closeted kinda sucks .... ngl

[lactoseintolerentswag]

Rise Characterizations Pt. 2!!

In the first part I went over my character writing notes for Raph, so we're doing Leo next!!!

Leo Character Notes

Language Habits:

First the obvious, makes a lot of puns and one-liners. Think corny super hero movies

Does poke at New Jersey often in said one-liners

Mumbles/talks to himself out loud often

Starts a Lot of his sentences with, "Okay--"

Often will add on, "haha, you're hilarious", when he's trying to tease or antagonize someone

Similarly to Raph he will also verbalize his attacks/actions, "kick and punch"/"punch and kick", "land safely"/"and he sticks the landing"

Also will verbalize when he's trying to make a portal, "come on portal", "it's portal time", "portal power jitsu"

We all know "hachi machi"

Tendency to also make noises when fighting, "yah"/"wah!"/"hah!"

That little ohohoho laugh can signify as his battle cry/excitement, or his nervousness depending on context

Same case as the above with "hoh boy"

Will stutter on words to emphasize them, "l-l-l-l-lame!"

The first to jump onto an "I told you so" or "I was right"

Mixes Spanish into his sentences, most notably "bueno", "vamanos", "hermano(s)"

Messes up science terminology, "reprogramulating"

Says "indubitably" when he's up to something (which Raph recognizes)

Out of all the brothers, he does poke fun the most

Refers to himself as "Leon"

Refers to others (mostly strangers/acquaintances) as "bub"/"bud", or "chief"

Personality:

Dramatic, Leo will always play things up 110%. Sometimes this is to cover up his insecurities, to cheer up his brothers, or to annoy said brothers. Also plays into his extreme responses to stressful situations

The fun brother, aka mikey's advocate. He takes his role seriously as the face man, who keeps things fun and cool for his brothers. It's an easy role, and he gets to make his family laugh or roll their eyes. He's. Sillay

Perceptive, this is why he knows exactly what buttons to push, but he's not a great communicator when it comes to the bigger picture. This also plays into his manipulativeness that he uses to put chaos into his family (i.e. lair games), puppet villains (i.e. Big Mama) into his motives, and change the battlefield

A closet nerd, implied to remember more jupiter jim lore than the rest of his brothers and has a ready to go impression of the reptiles of planet reptilica

Competitive to a fault, he tends to get lost in the competition when it comes to his brothers. Part of his dramatism is showing off, and he's weak to being called or associated with the term "champion". Competition is a way he gauges his self worth

Has a strong desire for the inherent admiration and trust of his peers, more than outright praise (both are wanted) unlike Donnie. This damages his communication skills because he just expects his brothers to trust him while he puts on a persona of nonchalance as protection from failure

Defensive, of himself through being snippy or sarcastic, but also defensive of his brothers' own well-being. He may be the one to poke the most fun, but he's also the one to jump to his siblings' defense out of any of the brothers. Sort of an "only I can do so and so to blank" mindset

Martyr complex, prioritizes the safety of his family over his own safety

Gets attached to people he considers family Quickly, those he doesn't consider a part of his family he has little sympathy for but once that connection is there he's already ready to use his body as a shield

Freeze response, tends to freeze up in response to danger or stress. Often shown to curl into a ball or stand silently (as opposed to his constant chatter)

Miscellaneous:

The third to unlock his mystic powers

Nicknames: "baby blue" by splinter, "nardo" by donnie

Sweats an ungodly amount

Uses spit to annoy his brothers/enemies (licking an item to claim it as his, wet willies)

Can beat box

Always chooses left in mazes or when lost

Next up will be Donnie :>

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #rottmnt leo #rottmnt leonardo #character analysis #long post #fanfic #writing #critter talks

[poohbea]

guys… i have aunty fever.

okay but like imagine being married to or dating sukuna, right? and the first time he introduces you to baby/toddler yuuji he becomes your best friend. never wants to leave your arms, always loves cuddles, will be your shadow while you’re doing things round the house. you’re attached at the hip from that very first moment.

and kuna both loves and hates it 😭. loves it mostly because he doesn’t have to deal with yuuji’s shenanigans all day. hates it because whenever he tries to kiss you or offer any sort of affection, yuuji comes running to put himself between you both with the grumpiest frown ever 🤣. he’ll mumble out something like “no, my aunty.” and hug your leg while trying to push his uncle away.

it’s a constant battle, especially because yuuji takes up all of kuna’s you-time 😂. watching a movie? yuuji’s there using your lap as a headrest. taking a nap? yuuji’s nestled right up against your chest. cooking in the kitchen? you’ve got yuuji perched on your hip or up in the baby wrap/baby sling. and kuna would swear up and down that yuuji — the sweet darling angel that he is — knows exactly what he’s doing. swears that he’s got some sinister plan to steal you away — he’s joking, mostly.

he should honestly be blaming himself because he’s been terrorising his nephew since he was born. his latest stunt? he found an old halloween mask that’d been sitting in the back of y’all’s closet since last year, put it on and decided to chase yuuji around the house with it.

“i’m gonna eat you!” is what you hear before a very distressed little human comes sprinting around the corner screaming, his uncle in tow. and so yuuji races to hide behind you, arms hooking between your legs for safety even as he’s still crying. but still kuna tries to reach for him and so you have to step in and unmask your monster of a man to save your hearing.

i think the other thing is how much you spoil yuuji. like cute little aunty (uncle can come too) and nephew dates. you’d he twinning with your outfits sometimes. go out to the zoo. the park. ice cream. the beach. the aquarium. sometimes kuna questions who’s child that really is — yours or his brother’s? — with how much time the two of you spend together.

it probably secretly gives him baby fever. if you’re this good with his nephew then he can only imagine how it would all go with a baby of your own.

he wants to see it one day. when you’re both ready.

#⊹ ⋆ﾟ꒰ఎ pooh’s rambling again ໒꒱ ⋆ﾟ⊹ #okay this was a lot longer than I thought it was gonna be #but it was stuck in my head #so i thought I’d share #🥰 #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #ryomen sukuna #sukuna #uncle sukuna #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk spoilers #jjk fluff #drabble #fluff #jjk sukuna #jujutsu sukuna