#come the fuck on it hasnt even been a week yet

[baambastic]

#come the fuck on it hasnt even been a week yet #tumblr live #bernie meme #bernie sander meme #bernie sanders #i am once again asking for your support #shitpost #shitposts #memes #tumblr memes #🐍

[bugsmoocher]

mmaster hcief

#personal! ok idk why but i am in such a bad fucking mood after realizing that yet another year has passed where my father hasnt like. #really ??? cared ??? i dont know man my parents are taking me out to eat but i didnt get a text or a call or anything #like man i know im not the one thats ur blood child but come on i remember yours and wish you every year :( #my mom only really remembered when i showed up and jokingly was like “ey next time you see me ill be a whole year older” #this week has sucked so bad brother i hope it wont set the tone for the next year LKHL:D:FLGHK #happy birthday more like KILL YOURSELF INSTANTLY POTION #god only like my friends and two family members remembered im realizing. fuuuuuuuuuck. not even the people i live with minus my fiance #i only exist to these people when its time to talk behind somebodys back brother #maybe i drive my car into a tree tomorrow ^_^ in theory itd be good for me but at the end of the day if these people didnt care when i went #to the fucking mental ward for plotting to kill myself i doubt theyd care if i bled out in a ditch either #they never called or visited they just picked me up and told me to never do that shit again #maybe i should have Not been born...............! #ermmm #personal #vent #i guess. idk. just so if people have those tags blocked itll get filtered or whatever #i probably shouldnt just throw this out into the wild but i dont want to directly bother anybody i know rn idk.

[aristarshower]

.

#i need a quick rant and i dont want to talk to other people about it rn #im so anxoous i have a psychiatrist appointment tomorrow cause mt therapist tjinks i need medication #i have an exammfor a job in a week and i have not prepped at all cause i just cant and wont #my father is being difficult yet again jt hasnt been like a month since he last stopped eating and screamed and hit us so thats nice #my neighbour constantly yells and hits her five year old kid who geew up in our house so it hurts like abhicj to losten #idk what im doinf with my life at all #im gonna die alone and miserable lmao #this isnt about romantic crap #i just feel disgustingly lonely #idek anymore #im forcing myself to not apiral or think suicidal thoughts #but boi is it hard #my fucking body image ossues are coming back wotha vengeance #i may be hanging out witj het guys too much it was mich easier to feel comfu in my akin when i was woth queer people #idk why het men ralking about women just vibes so wrong #even the good guys i like #im so anxious rn lmao #i maybe having a panic atrack #but all i can do is type here #so many bad feelinfs pooling rn lmao

[magnoliamyrrh]

.

#i wanna fall asleep but im in so much pain i cant #weather its the stress or nerves or the walking idk. probably all 3 actually #..the weekend has passed and yet my hips and ankels and heels and knees still hurt so bad from walking to classes last week. and what. i #was shopping for a few hours.... ugh theyre all so fucked. i can barely even move without my legs partially coming out. and it fucks up my #already broken tailbone and thus my spine and thus. there goes my entire nervous system into a frenzy. again. nightmare loop #my whole body feels like its on fire #and the only thing thatll calm it down by this point is the other meds. but ive just gotten used to these ones and the idea of being on #even more harsh meds isnt pleasant. snd those make me sleepy too #....... but at this rate i need something to take down my nervous system some many notches. i got a feeling its past the point of calming #itself down #it hasnt been like this. this sort of. every centimeter of my body searing pain sort of thing in months #lol uni drives me straight into the ground #starting to remember why suicide attempt 2.0 was in large part bc this sort of physical pain was unbearable 24/7 like yea this is already #bad enough maybe i shouldnt let it get worse

[imwetforyourmom]

fic based off numb to the feeling chase Atlantic?!

numb to the feeling

summary: matt hasnt been feeling many things lately. feeling numb. he desperately wants to feel something.. anything.

warnings: numbness feeling mentioned (?), marijuana, smut, dick riding, rough sex, switch!matt, creampie, unprotected sex (dont be silly, get on the pill)

a/n: IM BACK FROM MY BREAKKK

(if you dont like how I’ve written it or want it in a different way do not hesitate to ask me to re write it!!)

not proofread

~

matt hasnt felt like himself in days—weeks. he hasnt felt anything, happiness, anger, or even anxiety.

hes felt numb. and god does he hate it. he wants to feel something, he needs to feel something. so, hes turned to drugs, weed. but nothing further than that, sure he wants to feel something but he doesnt want to go too far. I mean, who would?

even when his girlfriend comes over with an overbearing grin on her face he cant find it in himself to match her energy. he cant find the him in himself to bring a smile to his lips, to bring the sounds of pure laughter from his body.

so here he finds himself, sitting outside on his porch, smoking a blunt. he sits deep in the chair, his back leant far into it, his legs manspread and his fingers spread with a j between his pointer and middle.

the strong scent lingers in the air, the sweet yet so musky smell so familiar to matt, its like a comforting thing. like a blanket on his shoulders, warming him in a cold storm. where its the only thing he can go to, after finding himself alone and in crave of something, anything.

the weed makes him feel things, it comforts him. its the only thing that can make him feel things, hes found it and deemed it his safe space. or his go-to.

he brings the blunt to his lips, inhaling the drug, letting it pass through his throat and into his lungs, holding it there before slowly exhaling it out his nose. then pulling the blunt from between his lips. the inhale of the blunt already coursing through his veins, and was he in for it. the effects of the weed were slow and sure to make their mark soon.. just not now. as this had only been the first ten or so minutes of his session.

he rests his forearm on the arm of the chair, leaning his head back and closing his eyes momentarily. letting everything sink in. the tingling sensation of the weed overtaking his senses, the cold, refreshing breath of air going through his nose becoming all that he could physically feel, the bitterness of the cold air fanning against his skin, the warmth of the blunt between his fingers reminding him this is all real, that he isnt dreaming of this phenomenal feeling, a feeling he could feel.

he opens his eyes once again, letting the blurriness of his eyes adjusting to the newfound light disappear as he takes in his surrounding. the trees lightly swaying along with the wind. the sky a white-ish grey, as if it was questioning what it wanted to be, alone. there were no clouds and no sun present. it was a blank white-ish grey. no color to it. just a plain white with a slight darker tone to it.

he brought his hand close to his mouth again, placing the blunt between his pink lips, freshly coated with a thin layer of saliva, before taking in another long, drawn out inhale. the drug filling his lungs and exploring his system, inviting itself in and affecting all that it could, sending matt into a delusion. he moved his hand away and rested it on the arm rest again.

holding his breath he admired how the drug felt inside him, how the drug felt overtaking what he could differ between what was what, and what was not. how the drug was slowly becoming the only thing he could focus on, and how good it fucking felt.

the drug was giving him things he couldnt do alone, it was giving him the ability to feel things, to feel himself. and god, how addicting it was.

he couldnt fucking be happier, its all he wanted and all he desired. finally, finally feeling things, even if it wasnt much he was still in touch with his emotions, he could feel the fire in his stomach, he could feel the thumping of his heart against his ribcage.

he couldnt get enough of it, he brough the joint back up to his lips, taking a greedy, long inhale from it, then pulling it away. holding the inhale in his lungs for longer than he usually does, as if it would make the drug affect him more than it already does. he exhaled, the smoke coming from the tight ‘o’ shape in his lips and going into the air.

he pulled the joint away and rested his arm on the armrest again, finding himself enjoying his current state, the feeling being euphoric.

• • •

here matt found himself, again on his front porch, blunt in hand.

this time, it wasnt as good as it was before. of course the drugs were hitting him.. it just wasnt as euphoric or as joyful as it was before. he wasnt as happy, he wasnt as carefree. he couldnt understand why, he was smoking the same weed, he was in the same area but he wasnt feeling the same.

“fuck.” he mumbled, he placed the joint on the ash tray next to him, feeling angered he let out a huff of air. he glanced around the landscape infront of him, deciding on what he was supposed to do now. he couldnt rely on the weed and thats all he could rely on.

his hand found its way to his mouth and subconciously began chewing on his fingernails, what the fuck was he gonna do now?

he grabbed his phone and pressed his girlfriends contact, needing anything, something. and he knew he could always go to her, and without a question she’d be there for him, doesnt matter whats going on she was always there for him.

the ringing sound of his phone only reminded him of the situation his was in. numb and in desire of something he didnt know what it was.

“hi baby!” her joyful voice rang through the phone and into his ear, immediately relaxing his nerves somewhat. he let out a small sigh of relief before saying what he needed to say.

“hi, can you come over, please?” he asked, his voice evidently panicked and breathy.

“of course, whats wrong?” she replied, you could hear the rustling of movement from her side of the phone, signaling she was already on her way.

“i need you,” he spoke, getting straight to the point with his desires. he was desperate for her, for feeling her.

“okay, okay, ill be there in five, my love, hang tight for me, k?” her assuring voice relaxed matt more than she’d already done before and he couldnt be more grateful, she’d been calming him effortlessly without even knowing it.

“okay, love you bye” he hung up, setting his phone down and waiting for her, patiently. if you could even call it that. kid was chewing his fingernails and looking all around the road ahead of him, searching for signs of y/ns arrival.

• • •

the sound of rocks being run over makes matt look up, his gaze softening when he sees the silhouette of his girlfriend leaving her car, her hips swaying perfectly as she walked towards him. truth be told, he was already hard just seeing her. the tight cropped shirt she wore definitely did not help either.

she walked to his porch and stopped infront of him, the smell of weed filling her nose, proving matt was most likely high. “you said you needed me, baby? how so?” she asked, looking down at his figure propped up on the chair, looking up at her with glossed over eyes.

“need your body” he muttered, his hands coming to her hips and squeezing. his voice filled with need as he let his eyes take in how pretty she looked.

“yeah?” y/n placed her hand in his hair and lightly tugged it, running her long nails along his scalp gently, sending shivers down matts spine. he leaned his forehead onto her stomach, acting more desperate and needy than he already was.

“need you so so bad” he stood up abruptly and grabbed her by her arm, pulling her inside his house and locking the door behind them before walking up to his room.

y/n giggled as matt took a seat on the edge of his bed, then patted his thigh, inviting y/n to sit on his lap.

y/n did as he silently asked, taking a seat on his lap and almost immediately moving her hips on him in slight yet hard grinds. earning a grunt from matt and his hands finding home on her hips, pushing and pulling her on his lap more.

matts face met with y/ns, connecting their lips in a slow, open-mouthed kiss yet filled with unspoken passion.

as y/n felt matts dick grow under her she began trailing her kisses down his jaw and neck, kissing, sucking and leaving dark purple marks all over the side of his neck, only arousing him further.

matt pulled her away from his neck and stopped her hips, mumbling a quick “need to be inside you, so bad” as he pulled her shorts off and lightly moved her off his lap so he could pull his own pants and boxers down.

he pulled her back on his lap and positioned her to be hovering over his tip, letting her wetness saturate his dick before letting her sink down. in which, he did not too long after he found himself aching to be fill her full.

he pulled y/ns hips down, letting his dick slide past her velvety walls. earning a moan from both y/n and matt.

y/n ground her hips into his, moving forward and backward before bouncing up, then down repeatedly on his cock, finding her pattern.

“agh- fuck” y/n whispered, placing her hands on his shoulders to stabilize herself as she bounced up and down on him. “you got it, baby” matt encouraged, throwing his head back at the heavenly feeling of y/ns walls squeezing his dick in all the right places, she felt so fucking good and he couldnt get enough of it.

one of his hands moved from her hip to her clit, rubbing in tight, slow circles, eliciting a moan from y/n. “fuck!” she moaned, placing her head into the crook of matts neck while continuing her bouncing.

“harder,” matt groaned, desperate for the feeling. he dowsnt know what feeling, all that mattered was that he was feeling it.

his hands went to her hips, pulling her up and down faster, when he brought her down he did it incredibly fast and slightly harder, pulling a moan out of his own throat. matt bucked his hips up, meeting her hips in a pleasureful rhythm. from the suddenness of matts hips snapping into y/ns and moving her himself in powerful thrusts, she screamed a gutteral scream, the sound almost throat scraping. y/n bit her lip and matched the rhythm matt had created, each time their hips met she let out a whimper.

a tightening sensation began in y/ns stomach, as early as it was in the sex, it had been so good, too good and she knew either way matt wasnt stopping anytime soon.

“‘m close, matt- ngh-“ y/n moaned, her voice hoarse from the scream she earlier screamt. y/n continued with her bouncing, until her legs began to go weak. she began grinding on matts dick—to the best of her abilities while he still bucked up into her.

“fuck, wait for me. I know you can.” he said in return, noticing how y/n wasnt moving anymore. he took matters into his own hands and flipped them over, laying y/n on the bed, and matt standing at the edge, still plowing himself deep into her.

y/n bit her lip, surpressing a scream that was threatening to spill out. her eyes rolled back with the new angle matt had at her, her stomach tightening even more, holding off her release was already hard enough, but having to wait? hell, was she in for a treat.

“j- just a little bit longer, you’re doing so good for me, baby” matt praised, driving his hips impossibly faster into her, chasing his high. y/n clenched around him, unexpectedly sending matt over the edge, cumming inside her with a loud groan. “fuck- cum with me” matt moaned, his spurts of cum painting her walls white.

y/n came almost on instand, the knot in her stomach breaking as her cum covered matts dick, with him still plunging inside her, though his place slowing. he slowly pulled out, y/n whimpering at the feeling of no longer being full.

matt collasped on the bed next to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his chest, mumbling a lazy “you did amazing, sweetheart” as sleep slowly overtook him, y/n following suit.

he was so fucking thankful that the weed didnt work, cause that sex with y/n made him feel things hes never felt before.

2136 words

@mattsturnxoxo @littlebookworm803 @wh0resstuff @luverboychris @chrissturniolosfavoritesexdoll @meg-sturniolo @junnniiieee07 @mels22lunchbox @ssilentzom @dollyspsychoxo @sturnib-tch @b2cute @livvy4realll @graysturns @jnkvivi

#sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo fanfic #the sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x reader #matt x reader #matt #matthew sturniolo #matthew bernard sturniolo #matthew #sturniolo triplets fanfic #sturniolo triplets imagine #sturniolo triplets smut #mollys requests

[starkeyslover]

Roommate!Gojo knew how much of a might sex drive you had due to all the boys and girls coming into your room every week

Roommate!Gojo who always hears you fucking whoever you have over that night, no matter who it was you were always so loud. "Shh, baby this pussy is too fucking good-! Augh, be quiet-mmm- don't want my roommate hearing how good this pussy is" Gojo would hear though the paper thin walls. He was honestly jealous of who you were fucking, even if you always used the same lines on them that always worked to make them come back again and again.

Roommate!Gojo who would wake up the next morning to find whoever you had fucked the night before in the kitchen in just one of your shirts as you made breakfast for her, or if it's a guy he would be in just be in his boxers as you made breakfast for him.

Roommate!Gojo doesn't even know how you manage to get so many different people in your sheets and hes upset he hasnt been one of them

Roommate!Gojo who's lowkey a pervert that would look through the door crack and watch you scissor or ride the person in your sheets, wishing it was him

Roommate!Gojo ended up getting into your sheets. He was so happy yet so jealous at the same time. He was pounding into you when he suddenly grabbed onto your neck and pulled you up to his face. "Your mine now! No more fucking other people, only me." He would tell you as he thrusts faster into you. "You hear me?" He asks as he squeezes you neck lightly. You nodded eagerly, happily being his. "Hhump! Yes, oh my god yes! I'm yours Satoru!!"

#gojo satoru #x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu gojo #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaison smut #gojo x reader #gojou satoru x reader #jjk satoru #satoru gojo smut #gojo smut

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for asking my mum to clean out the kitty litter trays even though its usually my chore

i drove to doctors and work this morning, i worked 8.30 till 5 she worked 8.30 til 4 and drove home after her shift ended to pick up my dance clothes for me (i only didnt have them because i had to stay late at work since 3 people went home sick).

my friend cancelled on me for dance tryouts so i spend the afternoon crying and eventually choose to go anyway because i was excited for hiphop but by this point my head is pounding.

i get out of work, she drives me to dance and goes to get macdonalds while she waits for me to get out. halfway through dance they mention we are not even doing hiphop today not until next week (u have to pay for the tryouts btw)

i get out 7.40ish. on the drive home im thinking "fuck its almost 8 i havent done any uni study, (i have 2 lectures, a quiz and like 8 readings that need to be done today and tomorrow), i havent spent any time with our cats or cleaned their litter trays yet."

for reference we have new cats and are introducing them into a house with a dog so rn we have them in one room and let them out occassionally while putting the dog out back, while i clean out the litter trays and top them up every day, once a week we empty them completely and clean them out

so we get home and i say "would it be too much to ask if you could please do the litter trays tonight" i try to explain that i have a headache and ive still got a lot of uni homework to do and i havent spent any time with the cats so i'd play with them for a bit while she cleans the trays and then do my homework

immeadiately she starts yelling at me that shes tired, she hasnt been home from work all day, she did it last time, shes done so many favours for me already today and blah blah blah.

the way i see it, first, i clean the kitty litter trays every day and vacuum their room. she has literally never done this, she emptied out and washed a tray last week because i was sick and got home from work and passed out. i (a learner btw so im very stressed when i drive) drove us to her appt and then to work, i worked more hours than her today, i danced all night with a headache, i also have not been home all day, after being cancelled on and then them not even doing the type of dance i wanted to do and i still have to do uni work tonight so i dont think im the selfish one here.

but sitting in my cats room while they eat their dinner i can hear her storm about and slam doors because shes so mad at me but i dont understand am i in the wrong here?

also literally as i am writing this she comes out and goes "tell me when youve finished dinner so i can let the cats out. and DONT leave it too late" while my food is literally cooking as we fucking speak jfc.

i have a bit of a diary where i write when mum is mad at me because if i mention to her that she upset me it never goes well so i write it down to safely let those feelings out and as i was writing this one i just needed some clarity i really cant fathom any reason for her to be mad except egocentrism so perhaps an unbias outsider can shed light?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[stealingyourbones]

Your asks are back! Im prolly gonna send a few tomorrow bc its late and i have many idea but an idea that Wont Let Me Go:

Danny gets caught by his parents. They dissect him and jazz is the one to free him, but he has to go. Now. But where does he go?

Gotham. The drs fenton went there once and caused enough chaos to be banned from the city or else risk arkham. Its the one place they might not find him.

Danielle goes with him. Maybe shed hunkered down in gotham for a bit, maybe shes passing by amity when sht hits the fan. Either way, its her and danny. They figure it wont be too hard to get by. Break into an empty apartment and hide out there until they get caught, couldnt be too hard, right?

Too bad the building they go for is the one jason stays in, as a civillian, and hes got every apartment on his floor so that the risk of a neighbor seeing him as hood is minimal. Jason has to figure out how these kids got into the apartment and who is making them spy on red hood.

He does this by giving them the one thing kids in need cant afford to turn down- free meals. He invites them over to cook and teaches them how, both to see what hes dealing with and give them those skills once theyre out of whatever situation theyre in.

This goes on for a while before jason had the horrifying realization.

Hes turing into Bruce. Two kids in need with black hair and blue eyes who tense up when vigilantes are brought up? Hes never going to live this down. Probably frantically texts dick(?) About how hes turing into bruce and then doesnt elaborate

Unbeknowst to him, theyve secretly been "treating" him by acting as filters/replacing some of his extoplasm so he can be sure of his control over his feelings. This doesnt necessarily make him 100% calm all of the time, he still gets angry pretty easily, but. Jason gets control of himself back.

As they get closer they start being significantly more domestic. Somehow nobody has crashed jasons apartment while theyre there (they dip invisibly) and jasons relationship with bruce has improved as he no longer has to worry about pit rage taking over. Hes trying to figure out how to break the news to bruce that hes a grandfather even though he hasnt officially adopted them yet.

Dani, on the other side of town, is gossiping with a cool girl at the library named barbara about how shes been trying to figure out how to tell her neighbor that Hes Her Dad Now.

(Danny doesnt call him dad. He cant, anymore. But theyre still family)

Jason decides to introduce the topic of them meeting bruce (because 1. even though its still rocky their relationship has improved and 2. He wants it to be on his terms) and dani bursts out with the "I have a GRANDPA???????" and from there on commits to calling jason her dad and bruce (unmet) her grandpa.

Bruce meets them first and is just. In awe. He has grandchildren. His emotional constipation vs his absolute adoration of the fact hes a GRANDPARENT fight fight fight.

When danny and dani eventually meet everyone theyre all like oh sick bruce picked up a duo this time nice to meet you. And they absolutely cannot comprehend it when bruce and jason walk in and dani goes to jason first. Nobody expected jason to take on bruces adoption tendencies but they should have.

(Also fun hc i couldnt work in naturally but i do fully stand by- the ectoplasm in dannys body does affect his injuries somewhat, meaning he heals naturally very quickly from most ghost fights. Why?

It heales based on emotional healing.

He doesnt really care all too much about the average cut from one of his rogues and they heal within the day, but a hit from valerie takes a few weeks.

The first injury his parents ever gave him still hurts.

He can barely move and cant talk for the first few weeks with jason. Only once he starts feeling safe with him do the cuts start coming back together.)

The casualness of “hi so glad your asks came back” [drops at least 1k worth of fucking stellar content that’s basically a fic] is just making me truly awestruck. God I’ve missed seeing y’all’s neat ideas.

I dont have any words that I can say that could describe just how wonderful this is so I’ll write a lil addition to it instead because I am in love with this sm.

Jason’s point of view when he’s slowly getting better and isnt afraid to meet his family because of the pit rage, has he explained that’s the reason he distanced himself? Do the bats just think that this is simply Jason finally getting the courage to reach out? Do they know that the Pit rage is stopping Jason and do they try to help him by using alternative means of communication? How much do they help and understand.

When Jason experiences his first injury. How much does it hurt? Valerie shoots him with an ectogun. How much is this man in pain for and does he have to fight pit rage inside him to not lash out and attack her after being injured?

And how does his core react to his new kids. This I NEED to know

#danny phantom #dp x dc #dc comics #writing prompts #dp x dc prompt #dpxdc #bones replies #this is some stellar writing my guy #ever-after-aaa

[lazulian-devil]

As promised to @maidofdarkness23, here is the first of several breakdowns on the villains of Skulduggery Pleasant.

The Villains of Skulduggery Pleasant

We start at the beginning, in Phase 1, Book 1 (which doesnt have a subname as far as I know, its only titled Skulduggery Pleasant).

Ready?

Nefarian Serpine

Certified best villain ever (I am not biased).

Alright, so first of all:

We are talking about Book 1, the beginning of the series and a book that (in comparison to all the others) is still working with a world that hasnt been established, ideas that arent entirely fixed yet and vibes that are still a little different.

Nefarian Serpine - for all his flaws - embodies this hard. He is almost larger than life in the first book, a reputation that he doesnt really hold in his other Leibnitz dimension appearances. In comparison to every other villain of the week, he lives in an ellaborate, gothic castle filled with hollow papermen and everytime the castle is described, the accompanying thunder and dark clouds are implied.

He never has much screentime, but Dereks perspective style writing lends him just enough depth that his cartoonishness turns sinister and plotting. His interactions with Bliss showcase a man that is deeply aware of his wrongdoings and yet consistently smiles into the face of distrust and hatred. This man knows how to play the game. He is too sure of himself, which makes reading about his movements and actions so full of dread. The question is not only "What has he done in his past?" but the much worse question of "What is he actually doing right now?"

How far will he go, surrounded in his castle by papermen, alone, twirling a wine glass.

In essence, Serpine is a silly villain, so cladden in clichés and stereotype that he is almost larger than the sum of his parts. His shadow is bigger than his body.

The first book establishes that he alone is the reason for Skulduggery Pleasants misery, loss of wife and child, as well as skin and body. A traumatic position that (afaik) no other villain even so much as came close to. The stakes are - of course - world saving level, but they also hold a personal pain that very few following villains in Phase 1 come close to.

In terms of atrocities commited against Skulduggery, hes probably second to none. Even China just followed his lead and never actually plotted or - worse - put them into motion.

The interest in most other villains comes down to

A) saving the world.

B) some kind of moral or ethical conundrum about the world of sorcerers.

But very rarely

C) literally facing the root of your trauma (for Skulduggery) or establishing a root (for Valkyrie).

(Quick Sidenote: Serpines death signifies both Skulduggeries "closure" with his old self and Valkyries acceptance of her new self. Once again, Serpine is not only a foil but also a catalyst).

It is also a great setup to reveal Skulduggerys less heroic sides: His wrath and his care for Valkyrie and Valkyrie alone. The two things that would, throughout the whole series, stay consistent.

Serpine is foil to Skulduggery in even more ways than that, revealing that the same cocksureness and self importance is an incredibly annoying feat in literally anyone else. Going up against Skulduggery must be infuriating, because going up against Serpine definitely is.

And hes also funny.

Have I mentioned how fucking funny Serpine is? Wanting to turn Skulduggery into a piano, absolutely able to hold his wit against the onslaught of insults and quibs exchanged.

Its also important to distinguish this Serpine from the Leibnitz Serpine. His Leibnitz equivalent foils a Skulduggery and Valkyrie that are much further along on their way to madness - he acts just enough like his original (after all, its only been like, what... Six? Seven? books?) but there are still some differences. I'll get to that. Someday.

Back to OG Serpine.

What do we have so far?

Serpine is an almost cartoonish assortment of tropes (the hand, the castle, the general vibe) but somehow, it works. Hes just a little "more" than his tropes, alluding to a three dimensionality he doesnt actually posess, but we have enough to believe it to be there.

He is clearly a product of the series not being established, which explains his constant later downplays (him being the weakest between Vengous, Vile and Serpine for example is only established long after Vengous and Serpine are dead).

He is the most personal villain that the Duo - and especially Skulduggery - face and its hilarious, that its literally the first book.

He is in so many ways exactly like Skulduggery. Full of himself, magically skilled beyond sense, insane (Im looking at you, Faceless Ones Dimension), obsessed with his own aesthatics, also literally a former Mevolent Higherup/Endboss/what do you even call that, witty, sarcastic, smart and able to plot etc. Etc.

He is both the door finally closing for Skulduggery and the door being blasted open for Valkyrie.

We'll come back to him, dont worry. His weirdass villain castle is used by Scarab and Billy-Ray in another book and he plays a passive role even after his death (like the opinions of the Dead Men, China Sorrows trauma, etc.) and even an active role as his Leibnitz replacement.

Solid 10/10 villain.

Im sorry that this got so long and I hope it made any sense and/or provided new insight to literally anyone.

I wrote more of this: Heres Part 2 with Baron Vengous and heres Part 3 with Batu.

#skulduggery pleasant #nefarian serpine #character analysis #literature analysis #wow thats a lot of words #I hope this makes any sense #have a great day! #SP Villains

[thesherrinfordfacility]

UM.

Update 2: okay fine then, fuck it (she says still suspicious that there's no way neil would ever confirm a s3 plot point so of course he'd say this BUT THEN AGAIN if time were stopped why would the clock move UGH if it is an error ill be so upset)

UPDATE: so neil answered this but hmmm? now i know fuck all about jack shit admittedly but idk, presumably the first half of the scene where crowley confesses was filmed in at least a few takes? or pieced together in a few takes? and the clock is resolutely at 0925, indicating it would have been stopped? then the second half, just before aziraphale leaves the shop, it's jumped by 15 minutes... precisely.

even if filmed on different days/different calls, you'd expect the clock to have changed hours too...? and i cant imagine that a whole ass week after s2 release that neil would reveal anything about s3 which by all accounts he hasnt finished and can't finish writing yet... yeah im not convinced 100% it's a continuity error

so here is where you witness rhi shit on every single thing she has written including the interpretation written with visceral conviction that I Forgive You was written in response to crowley tempting aziraphale with the kiss. but the thing is, i cant believe that neil 'master of detail' gaiman, douglas 'every prop is important' mackinnon, and co. would let this continuity error slide (*side eye to crowley's sideburns and glasses change*):

now i sincerely hope that this isn't a 'crowley stops time and they actually decide that they're going to swap places/come up with a whole plan to save the world etc without discussing their Problems' incident, because as it stands narratively i feel that could be a little cheap

but possibly more a 'crowley stops time to stay in this below moment and they talk a bit more, but ultimately argue a bit more too and realise that neither as of yet is going to see each others' whole perspective but hey communication of any kind is a revelation for these dummkopfs' moment

like, i still hope there's angst going into s3. i need these two to be worlds apart from each other so they fully recognise the void that the lack of the other has left, and actually their ideological differences a) can be discussed and reconciled, and b) are perhaps not actually that different after all

but whatever potentially happens in those 15 minutes i hope still explains the absolutely devastated look on aziraphale's face, the I Forgive You, the glance back to Crowley before he gets in the lift, aziraphale steeling himself in the lift before he arrives in heaven... does crowley actually confess to aziraphale who he is? who he was before the fall? why he can never go back? why he can never be forgiven in the first place?

this has set my mind on FIRE

#good omens #im not ok #help #i really dislike speculating about the show on ANYTHING other than clues left by the story #(ie spec'ing by way of analysing neil's ask replies it makes me feel weird) #but yeah i cant believe that this would have been allowed to go unnoticed it is SO prominently in shot? #time-stop theory #feral domestic/final fifteen meta

[writhe]

i really think i’m doing okay all things considered but i feel so fucking tested this week / as of late. i feel so irritable & a lot of stuff that’s usually not much of a problem feels present (been dysphoric this week? hello? and feeling very weird about food?)

the pain is really taking its toll, everything got even worse because of the grief curse only now it’s snowy and below freezing and i feel still rigid and unmotivated and exhausted. i usually feel more better if push through to walk or hike but that hasnt been working (i mean, im still going) & i don’t really have the ability to rest more than i have

more people have been around the house than i’ve felt up for, but no one is actually doing anything wrong at all (and, like, i really like everyone!) but now i’m getting in my own head about being unsociable or being in the way or being weird

i’m out like 350 bucks rn bc i ordered shirts to print and haven’t been able to touch em. also out hundreds for tattoo stuff & it’s been half a year and i have yet to put needle to skin despite folks waiting & encouraging me (not planning on making people pay me but like it sucks to throw a lotta cash at this and to just have not had a good moment because honestly wrist / hand pain has also been a prohibitive factor)

and im so angry about everything that happened last week. feeling really lucky to have franklin. other friends have been offering support too, but struggling to take them up on it because it feels both talked to death & overwhelming to open up about & a good chunk of how i spent last week was doing very very intense emotional support that involved a lot of being erratically wailed / shouted at for hours.

having a weird experience being in spaces where people don’t know what’s going on with me, which is unfortunate because i definitely seem very pissed off and tired, but like, i swear i have a reason. i’m gonna push myself to connect with folks though, once i figure out what would feel good. it also sucks just, like, having had time off last week & zero ability to enjoy it because now i’m in the middle of a 10 hour workday & i feel physically and emotionally stuck

i’m not sure what comes next. it’s opening up a lot of feelings, which reopens the wound of grappling with losing (in an extremely exhausting, shitty, and unceremonious way) a very massive years-long friendship earlier this year. i’d definitely been holding for something there but i think the reality is that my & everyone’s life has changed too drastically since for us to ever get anything back that could be nearly as meaningful or close. it’s hard when stories end but worse when they rot

#ACK!!!

[iworshipsappho]

HI YES I HAVE SOME CERES QUESTIONS OMG

1) what's her backstory?? 2) how is she with animals?/ any familiars? (i'm guessing there's some aquatic stuff involved?) 3) do they trust easily or are they cautious?? 4) are they comfortable with hugs and hair ruffles and physical touch in general? 5) are there any similarities between you and him???? 6) why did you chose the name ceres, which is very pretty and awesome btw? 😭🫶🏼🫶🏼

HI HELL YAEH :3!!!!

ok so here we goooo

hmm her backstory is what ive been working on for a while now, and yet i only have a few titbits here and there. one really cool thing i figured out a few weeks back is that he is ex-nobility, as in either she left nobility or was kicked out. this lil piece of information is evident in the way they absolutely loooove gold decor and jewellery. im still not sure why exactly they left, but i wanna get that sorted by this week >:)

they fucking loooove animals, to ceres, animals > human or like person interaction. her favourite animals are foxes :33 they've befriended a lot of foxes and she probably has names for each of them bc even tho he looks really stoic on the outside, he's a big softie on the inside but is just too scared to show it out. mmm also since they're an earth genasi, they live in the his world equivalent of a merge between a minecraft spruce biome and an oak biome, wait i think i have a picture lemme just check

^^^ they live on this island !!!!

3. mmm they used to be verrryyy trusting in their teens, but something happened that made her put up a hard exterior and protecc the guy inside :((

4. again, they used to be, but etc etc happened and he hasnt really had any intereaction with people in years almost, the closest he's come to that is with the gnome village nearby who view her as a deity (i just thought of this might not be canon in the future aka in 10 mins lmfao)

5. !!!!! MMM SO we used to be the exact same person but then ceres became more ceres than me, so while yes there are a lotta similarities, he's also become a character who isnt entirely me lmao. mmm. our similarities are probably that we both find comfort in our hobbies, writing for me and wood carving for her, and sometimes would prefer to not have any human interaction, yers in their case, also they used to be like reallllyyyy talkative in her teens but then Shit Happened

6. I LOVE TALKING ABOUT THE ORIGIN OF THE NAME SO HELL YEAH THANKS FOR ASKING ME HEHE SO i always wanted ceres to be associated with the earth, so immediately i thought of like greek gods who were related to earthy shit, and my first thought was demeter right, but i didnt want it to be demeter bc demeter didnt fit the vibes i was going for sooooo i went hmm whats the roman version, guess what. it was ceres!!!!! AND THE COOL PART IS ceres is also the name of a dwarf planet, its my favourite one now sorry make-make, but like its so cool bc the name ceres combines 2 of my oldest obsessions, greek mythology from when i was 10 and space shit, which i was obsessed with till i was like 7 and still retain some of the knowledge i got from like boring through 3 encyclopedias on space lmao

💜

#asks. #mirabel-on-a-bicycle #methinks mesays. #ceres stuff.

[avelera]

(given sanctuary anon back again) ((though ive just started "come live with me" too (ITS GREAT!! i dont trust whatever desire is up to AT ALL!) so what does that make me?? dual wielding anon?)) Anyhow i just read the GS new chapter! have i mentioned in any of these asks that "abandonment issues" is like my ultimate kryptonite?? and 1689 hob is in such a vulnerable spot for it too!!! like take any other time stamp (even post 1889) and hob WOULD find it in him to stand up and keep moving (even though it fucking hurts) but 1689 really is when he's low enough to straight up get on his knees and cry and beg and hhhhhhh. like on one hand "my poor boy" on the other "Oh delicious scene, high stakes emotions!" Its so good!

Also about your last reply, i dont think dream is changing too fast at all. Youve written this like he's just had a sudden realization that he's been (just a lil) shitty and now he's noticing the signs all over (lucienne flinching just breaks my heart) and has made a decision to change. But like you said, right now he hasnt actually fundamentally changed (yet)! We went over this in my psych class once (i dont thinks asks have a word limit anymore but ill still spare you the full rant) but essentially theres a big distinction between consciously MAKING yourself change your behavior, and actually having the change settle in to be natural and thoughtless. And its so clear in your fic that being kind is still such a stilted thing for dream and that he constantly has to fight for it and i love that!

AAAAH, Giving Sanctuary anon!!

1 ) Oof, yeah, Hob is definitely at a low enough place, without pride, to beg. That being said, there is an added terror to the moment for Hob in 1689 because unlike every other time Dream has taken off on him, Hob's not in London. He's on the other side of Europe, on a Greek island which is, admittedly, gorgeous but he has no money and (hasn't been mentioned yet but it's in my head) he speaks some sailor pidgin/lingua franca which includes Greek and Italian elements but he absolutely would only have the shirt on his back if Dream left him there for any substantial amount of time.

Hob has no way of making the expensive voyage back to England (Naxos is currently controlled by the Venetians in 1689) and no easy way to make a living or even communicate with most people in Naxos. As someone who has so recently like, earlier that week experienced the depths of privation and starvation, and was only just begun to get his feet back under him and maybe, maybe have a glimmer of near-term (as opposed to only long term) hope that things will get better for him, there are some very real, very practical reasons like starving again why Hob is ready to drop to his knees and hysterically beg Dream not to make some grand dramatic gesture like storm off in a huff on him for however long is appropriate for a literally ageless being to get his temper under control again. And Hob's not wrong to fear that it could be days or longer before Dream decides he should maybe go retrieve Hob from wherever he left him.

Just... yeah, Hob is absolutely melting down because he loves Dream and he has PTSD around being abandoned by Dream and having no one else in his life who really, truly knows him for who he is ever since 1389, and truly no one else who gives a shit about him in decades but Giving Sanctuary is fairly grounded in class and wealth concerns on Hob's end, at least I'm constantly thinking about those things when writing Hob's POV and constantly thinking about how Dream doesn't understand those things when writing their interactions.

Being abandoned without a cent to his name in a strange place was neck and neck with "pissing off and losing the person I love because of my big stupid mouth" in Hob's brain as a legitimate reason to have a full blown panic attack while running after Dream.

2 ) I'm really glad to hear you don't find Dream too unrealistic in his growth! Your psych class comment is a very astute observation and definitely something that's in my mind while Dream has begun to thaw out and grow, he still has bad habits he has to consciously break and doesn't always succeed, especially when miserable and on edge on the island where he had to retrieve his own son's dismembered body with his bare hands and bury it, only to be blamed by his ex wife and the mother of his child as the reason this horrific event happened in the first place. This is really the heart of darkness for Dream, the root of his depression began on this island. But he is working on being better, at least to the people who matter most to him.

Thank you I love these chances to talk about the fic!

#1689 fic #giving sanctuary

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

Wednesday Tag Game!

whooho! we're half way through the week

thank you @such-a-barbarian for tagging me <3

🔤 Name: gigi

🎶 Last song you listened to: homecoming which feels pretty appropriate to this blog (psa i think k*nye is a fucking asshole as much as the next person but you can pry graduation and college drop out from my cold dead hands)

🎵 Artist on Spotify giving you the feels right now: its fall so ive been listening to the entirety of preachers daughter -ethel cain on repeat on my walk home

👯‍♂️ Fave Blorbo Moment: when my very BRAVE blorbo kissed his crush <3 (he got the order a little wrong but he got there eventually)

🍟 Your guilty pleasure snack: i am not a huge snacker, nor do i feel guilt associated with food itself, i do however feel a little shame for how much $ i spend on the shittiest mangos, papayas, lychee etc. on the planet all for a taste of home :,(

🌮 What food are you craving today: sushi and trust i will be eating some this weekend

📖 Last fanfic tab you opened: @sam-loves-seb 's whumptober series, i doubt anyone who follows me hasnt seen this project come up on their dash, but its worth mentioning again how truly exceptional these fics are

🖌️ Favorite fic project you've created: idk about favorite, but most recent is Psychopomp! Please go read it if you're interested

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51164713/chapters/129278920

other than that i think the best is yet to come !

👩🏼‍🎤 Next tattoo you want: i am not going to get any tattoos in the near or distant future (even though i love them on others), and if i ever did i would be the worst kind of client with a million tweaks and a long (obviously compensated, but annoying) design process, you know, the type of client i complain about all day

🧐🆓 What's living in your head rent free this week: yall, i had such a crazy halloweekend i am still exhausted aside from work nothing has been going on in my head thats not strictly necessary, but i have had a few ideas for new fics so stay tuned

Wednesday is almost over so in the last few hours i tag all you nice people

@i-think-you-mean-reduction @jezzibelle89 @solitarycreaturesthey

@sweetperversiongirl @milkovichrules @gallavichlover19

#sgt says #weekly tag wednesday

[rosewinelonging]

theres always been something about rose that kanaya couldnt quite put her finger on. it wasnt bad per se, it was just. odd. she couldnt figure out what it was, not even after all the hours shes spent watching her. they had complete access to the kids throughout their lives watching as they went from tiny humans to slightly bigger tiny humans and yet all time spent staring at the screen did nothing to solve this feeling.

even now with rose being face to face it hasnt gone away. if anything getting worse as time went on. like a puzzle with a single piece missing, you can still make out the image but its still wrong. kanaya couldnt lie and say it wasnt bothering her. it was something about her presence, the way she moved, even moreso the way she didnt. her ability to sit and just, be still was almost frightening. she was deathly quiet usually settling into some corner where she reads or watches others in the room. the feeling of her sharp, knowing gaze always leaves her stumbling.

its during one of these so-called “quiet times” (as dave has so loving named) that the missing piece is finally found.

she was sitting on the coach trying to focus on not stabbing herself with the sowing needle again. rose was sitting with a book a little ways away. supposadly reading but the feeling of being watched never stopped for a moment.

dave walks in through the door and comes straight towards kanaya. “yo. have you seen lalonde?”

she looks up. “oh! well..” her eyes move to look past him, at rose seated just out of view of the enterance. he follows her gaze and turns around, startling at the sight of her.

“fucking christ!” rose smirked. “can you stop doing that? lookin’ like a creepy fucking doll-”

the rest of his words are cut off as her head begins to pound. oh. oh. she understands it now, that nagging feeling of something about rose that she just wasnt seeing. a doll. of course, she looked like a doll. graceful, elegant perhaps, a pretty little thing to be dressed up and admired. if kanaya was still alive shes sure her blood pusher would be pounding in her chest. 

“ah!” she blinks back to reality when her fingers slipped and poked herself with the needle. the others stop their heated discussion to look at her. heat rushes to her face. “no need to worry, just uh poked myself with the needle! haha..”

she needed to think about this. with that she excused herself and hurried out the room.

-------------------------------------------

it had taken a week to gather her thoughts. the whole she skirted around rose, making excuses to escape the scrutiny of the girl. it was painfully suspicious and a confrontation was inevitable.

“are you avoiding me kanaya?” rose had backed her into a corner, quite literally. she was pressed into the wall, opposite of the door.

“well. i would never avoid you. i am simply..” the girl raised an eyebrow. “i am of the opinion that you would be a good doll.”

“doll?”

kanaya nods sharply. “yes. i have been preparing clothes that would be fitting. that would make me expentionally happy if you were to wear.”

and to her utter suprise (and delight) she agreed.

they were in kanayas room. rose was perched on the edge of the bed that was never used but she never bothered to take out. now shes glad she hadnt. beside her were the clothes she made, laid out. a simple black skirt and a white button up skirt, the collar was embroidered with flowers. on top were the undergarments which took much longer than they should have. dark green matching set of lingerie. rose was inspecting the fabric with a small smile. “its pretty.”

kanaya was positively vibrating at this point. the anticipation of seeing rose wear her clothes was nearly too much to bear.

rose looked up. “seeing as im acting as a ‘doll’ in this scenario, and you my master, one must assume to be given commands..?”

she rubbed her hands together, clearing her throat. “that would be correct. all you need to do is act like a doll. which is to say, dont do anything.” that seemed to be acceptable to her as she nodded.

with just a moments hesitation kanaya finally reached out, grabbing roses arm and gently leading her to stand in the middle of the room. she grabbed the sides her godtier robe and began to lift up, rose putting her arms up letting her slide it off easily. kanaya dropped it to the floor unceremoniusly, leaving her in a simple bra and orange leggings. her hand hovers over the waistband. once this was off she would be in undergarments which shes seen many times on the monitor [though only when in private] but it was much different in person. sensing her hesitation rose pulled them down herself, bending down to pull them off her legs then dropping it next to her robe.

kanaya sucked in a breath. almost done. she circled around rose, the girl had returned to her doll-like status keeping her eyes directly forward, not acknowledgin her at all. it made her stomach jump and she rushed behind her so she wouldnt see her flushed face. she unlatched the clasp of the plain black bra. it was honestly disappointing, she had expected something fancier, a little more delicate from rose. but that was okay because thats why she was here. from now on she’d make sure rose wore only the prettiest clothing, it was what she deserves. moving the straps off her shoulder to let it drop to the floor.

finally, the last item of clothing. a pair of solid lavender panties. she wondered if there was decoration, like a bow or design at the front but wouldnt dare turn her around to check. the thought of rose watching her, all sharp and calculated like she could see directly into her mind revealing all of her deepest desires. it was too much. so she laid a trembling hand between her shoulder blades and began to trail her fingers down her spine. rose stiffened under her fingertips so she leaned in and said, “relax.”

she did. the tension fell away as her muscles drooped. then kanaya was centimeters away from her underwear. with a steadying breath she hooked two fingers beneath the waistband and tugged it down. there was no resistence or climactic happenings as it fell to the floor. just like that rose was completely naked. placing one hand lightly on her shoulder she walked back around to the front, admiring the sight. rose was shorter than her by a good bit, barely coming up to her chest. but what she lacked in height she made up generously in weight. she was heavy, with large wide hips and strong arms. her chest, though under-developed, was not lacking in any means. and despite this she looked more delicate than a feather on the water.

kanaya brushed her knucles against her cheek. there was no shame or embarrassment in features, only a quiet satisfaction. what she would give to have stay like this, a true goddess of her own right. she wanted to lay her down and map out every part of her body, get familiar with the holy. but she had a job to do. rose, her doll, was waiting to be dressed and displayed. [though if she really though about it, dolls dont care how their owners play with them, no opinions or voice of their own…] she turned and marched to the bed to grab the underwear, a dark green lace that would constrast wonderfully against her skin.

moving back, she grabbed roses hands and placed them on her shoulders for balance. it would be easier to make her dress herself but that would be a cruel request of a doll. she held the underwear down, letting her move to slip into it. kanaya took care to pull it up, the fabric fitting snuggly against her hips and ass. next she grabbed the matching bra, this time holding each arm as she slipped the straps to her shoulders. instead of turning her around she reached behind rose, finding the clasp and clipping it together with nimble, practiced fingers. she pulled the wire lining down checking to make to sure it was comfortable and low enough to give a nice view of her boobs.

next were the clothes. kanaya picked up the blouse from the bed. she had gotten rose to send measurements long before she started making these so she only hoped it fit. if not she could always spare some time so adjustments could always be be made.

she helped her through the short sleeves, tugging it the fabric up to her shoulders and flattening out the collar. starting from the bottom she began buttoning. it was natural muscle memory from years of practice yet she still fumbled. face flushing as her hands shook too much from excitement and anxiety to get them through the holes. eventually she managed to reach the top putting the last button throw the hole. she tugged at the collar, pulling the edges and flattening them out so they sat even against her jugular.

kanaya ran her fingers down her shirt, pinching and pulling at any odd sections until satisfied. the skirt was next, a simple black, pleated and it came to her knees. there was no hassle with getting her to step into it, pulling it up so it waistline settled just over her bellybutton. she spent a few minutes focused on pulling her shirt down, straigtening it out and fixing the skirt.

when satisfied she glances up and rose met her eye. they stared at eachother, her face tinged a bit red, eyes are a hazier than usual. softer around the edges like shes lost her constant sharp observance. kanaya brushed a piece of hair from her face. she ran her fingers through her soft hair, brushing out any kinks and moving it until her face was framed perfectly. holding her hand she led the doll back to her bed, helping her to sit down. once again fussing with her appearance before pulling back.

#<333 #kan #rose #this is an older fic i havent got around to finishing yet lol but have this portion. ill probably finish the rest another time ! #so sorry for the abrupt ending

[thebigfudanshi]

TRAUMA RANT

TRAUMA RANT

TRAUMA RANT

I always wonder why ive been dissociating since January, and why my mental health is so fucked, and why I'm so anxious, and why I have zero social skills, and why I'm so lonely and sad and hurting all the time and pretty much resorting to one person nymphomania...

And then the one time I try to speak my mind for once, my true, honest mind. I don't even know who I am, but I was trying. I love my dog so much, and it hurts me to the core whenever SHE just can't seem to see it. My dog is a person, she is a BABY. Dogs will not bend to your will because you hit them. And she hasn't thank god, but god does she threaten to sometimes. If I have to hear one more time that if my dog slips out of her harness that's she's gonna be put down I'm gonna HURT HER BEACAUSE I ALREADY LOOST A DOG THIS YEAR AND IT STILL HASNT SUNK IN AND SHE GOT RID OF OUR OTHER TWO DOGS BECAUSE SHE DIDNT WANNA TRAIN THEM ANYMORE. it's not hard to give a dog a treat and tell her to sit so she doesn't jump on you, but SHE has to keep insisting she can't walk around with treats. GO FUCKING GRAB ONE ITS NOT HARD. SHES NOT GONNA STOP JUMPING ON YOU IF YOU DONT GIVE HER A TREAT, POODLES ARE GOAL MOTIVATED!

so yeah, I spoke my honest mind to HER just fifteen minutes ago. I just got out of a whimpering sobbing fit beacause of HER. So I'm just, downstairs, yeah? First of all, I'm greeted to not a hello, never. I was greeted to HER coming up to me to complain a out a flea on her this morning. And yeah, i really do get it, nothing against being told that. I told HER I'd give Phoebe a bath cause I was already thinking of it. Fine and dandy.

I come into the laundry room. SHE follows to do laundry. I get Phoebe ready to go outside because she has to wear underwear cause she went into heat early before we could get her spayed. She's jumping on HER. SHE is complaining about the jumping. It stops after a moment and after I keep telling her to sit. She doesn't, but she stops.

I tell HER for the third(?) Instance this week that "Phoebe would probably sit more if you got a treat and told her to sit." And SHE rounds at me like "*Complaining complaining* I don't walk around with a pocket full of treats." And I'm like, sputtering, just a tad taken aback and I tell HER "they're on top of the fridge" barely 15 feet from us. She says nothing as she leaves. Phoebe doesn't go outside but it's an oh well cause she didn't eat yet.

I go inside. I make something to eat. As I sit down to wait for it, HER girlfriend, N, who I have no qualms with even though it might sound like it. So N asks me if Phoebe needs a new harness, because she's had two recent issues with slipping out. I say yeah, presenting that she slipped out on a walk recently. We continue by briefly talking about how's she's been slipping out. I say we probably should get her harness fixed, beacause I have to train Phoebe with strangers by giving strangers treats to have her sit and then get pet when she's sitting. And that she would definitely tackle a kid if she got loose and saw one because my dog ADORES my toddler nieces.

SHE chimes in by saying "you know if she gets loose-" and I cut her off, because I've heard where it's going before. Rude as it was, but the family kinda talks over eachother anyway. "Yeah, I know, she's gonna get put down." And SHES like "NO. She could get put down and they could sue ME. I don't know why youre getting like "I know."

And I'm sitting there dumbfounded, with my dog sitting two feet from me. Saying like, "I value my dog's life more than money???" And SHE starts backtracking all offended I said something back like "I do too, but..." And then SHE scoffs. I talk to N a little more but my attention is on HER when SHE huffs and says "I'm gonna go smoke." Like I stressed HER out by speaking my mind and she walked past me to the basement and shut the door with more force than was needed. Im sitting there with my hotpocket folding the damn thing, and I look at N, who isn't doing anything, and Im jawdropped like, wtf. So I just go over to my dog, i tap her side so she gets up and goes to the stairs where I reside %99 of my days, and as I'm leaving I'm muttering trying to get N to hear me like "alright, can't even speak my mind in this house, okay." Cause this has been an issue for YEARS. So I take my mad ass upstairs, and as soon as I get halfway to my room I'm sobbing.

Normally I wouldn't post something like this for my SOUL. But I literally can't talk to anyone about this because the problem lives in my house and I'm gonna forget this like the rest of my life. MY MOM STORMED OFF LIKE A TEENAGER. ill be all fine and dandy by tomorrow because my mom's gonna ignore it even happened like EVERYTHING, and I'm just gonna be the bad guy in her head. I'm fine with that. But I'm really not. Y'know? She's just sitting down there now. Completely fine. When I'M NOT. Thanks.

Thanks for listening to my Trauma-Talk