#dear lord i need a haircut

[choilacanth]

i went up a mountain with no signal and helped grill chicken on a pole :)

#choi tweets #sketch #dear lord i need a haircut #lechong manok #rotisserie chicken YEEEEAHHHHH #Also I’m. Barely going to be online from tomorrow except to reply to messages for a while. Got a queue going on here and in the reblog blog #see yalls #Until early September

[facefullofsadness]

The world needs guitarist winter!! 🗣🗣🔥🔥🔥 (i die a little each time i see her with a guitar)

AGREE!!! everyday that has passed since 230225 winter playing guitar at synk hyper line in seoul for the first time has just been me trying to recover and seek guidance bc damn, she ruined my life and it's all I've been able to think about

content - rockstar guitarist!winter, best friend's sister!winter, dom!winter, includes txt members (beomgyu and yeonjun) and giselle, song references, smut (messy and wild sex, slight degradation, fingering, cunnilingus, strap-on usage, choking, breeding kink, quickies, squirting, vibrator usage, semi-public sex/voyeurism)

wc - 3122

a/n - a loaded one since it's been a while. I had sm fun writing this in general, but especially a certain part (I think u'll be able to tell when u get there), I was laughing my ass off so fking hard. also I just got a haircut that's very wolf-cut-y so it helped a whole bunch to get into writing this lol, committed to the bit!

winter's a damn good guitarist.

she's fuckinggg hotttt too when she plays and she knows it. watched a vid of her recently doing her guitar solo during girls and after the final riff she smirked at the camera and I LITERALLY COMBUSTED DEAR LORD.

anyway, I imagine her in a rock band, one with beomgyu, and they're both just the hot, wolf-cut, dark emo guitarists. you're the lead singer and front man of the band and were the reason the band formed in the first place. you were besties with beomgyu and you two wrote and composed music from time to time, always having the idea of a band as a passion project at the back of your minds.

eventually, gyu recruited his sister, minjeong. the three of you worked together diligently, recruiting yeonjun as a drummer who knew and dragged along aeri as a bassist. it was truly a dream come true, getting to pursue what you're passionate about the most with your best friend and a group of people just as enthusiastic as you were.

though, it was hard to focus with such a pretty girl like kim minjeong breathing down your neck at all times. you, beomgyu, and minjeong would primarily work together on music, usually going from the afternoon until after midnight hours. while minjeong was only a few months older than your best friend, she'd boss him around and push him to go home, saying it was late and that their mom needed to see at least one of them to know they were okay. he'd groan and complain about it, especially since you and him were the main collaborators for songs and were the best when you were together, but she'd always promise to take good care of you, whatever that meant (huehuehue).

beomgyu cares more about you as a little sister than he does his own sister so when he gets confirmation that she'll take care of you, he accepts it and goes home early, leaving you and minjeong in the studio alone. you bite your lip as you watch the door close, your friend leaving you behind with her.

"just you and me now, huh pretty?" the girl leans into you on the couch.

you shift uncomfortably at the close proximity and try to subtly scooch away, "uh yeah, I guess so... we should try to finish this arrangement before we get out of here."

you try your best to compose yourself and act professional, hearing minjeong's deep chuckle next to you, "alright then."

actually getting work done and writing some lyrics alongside figuring out the instrumental arrangement with minjeong since she's the other guitarist, besides beomgyu (also bc he left). you tell her that you get frustrated with the fact you're not that good at playing, her having asked why you don't just make the arrangements yourself. and so, she decides to teach you! well, "teach you."

placing her acoustic Silvertone on your lap and crawling up slowly behind you, her warm body pressed up against your back, the brush of her lips against your ear making you shiver. she brings her arms over and places her hands over yours, guiding them around the strings and assisting with the chords.

she whispers deep and raspy into your ear various instructions, "if you cover this entire fret and press down on these strings, you'll get the F Barre chord. it's a little difficult but nothing you can't manage, right princess?"

"the placement kinda hurts..." you complain, feeling the burn of the metal strings against your skin.

"it'll be a little painful when you start, but with practice you'll get better. you have to press down harder than that though," her pressing your fingers down harder against the nylon strings.

whining softly at the pain, making her lips come closer to your ear, "come on baby, you can do it, a little pain goes a long way. I know you can handle it."

a chill runs down your spine at her words, proceeding to repeatedly attempt to strum the chord correctly until the sound was full.

"good girl, it wasn't that bad right?" you turn to face her, her lips just centimeters away from yours.

your breath picks up at her proximity and a smirk tugs at her lips, moving her face into your neck and hotly sighing against it.

"how badly do you want it, hm? how badly do you want me to fuck you like a rockstar?"

your grip on her guitar tightens as her mouth trails around your neck, gasping when you feel her tongue drag across slowly.

"what do you think you're doing?"

"nothing you don't want me to already, sweetheart."

you lean into her touch, moving your hand away from the body of the guitar to lace your fingers through her soft wolf-cut hair, pulling her head in further into your neck, now placing wet kisses against the skin.

you suddenly shoot your eyes open at the realization of what you two are doing and stutter, "I-I don't think we should be doing th-this... we need to finish the arrangement... and also, y-your brother, what will h-he think?"

you stumble over your words as minjeong just hums in response to, continuing to leave sloppy marks across your neck, feeling her make hickeys on parts of your skin that wouldn't be noticeable.

"we have all the time in the world to finish the song. but what about gyu? did you want him instead then?" she asks, almost threateningly, challenging you to say yes.

in response, you whimper and pull her head in further towards your neck, practically begging her not to go away.

"don't you feel ashamed letting your best friend's sister do this to you? or are you just a slut?"

you don't answer, only shut your eyes and bite your lip. minjeong doesn't like that, resulting in her hand to pull you by the hair backwards, head facing the ceiling. your eyes shot open at the contact and you see her blown pupils staring into yours.

her voice comes out low and dark, "answer me whore. tell me what you are, I wanna hear you say it."

you gulp down a lump in your throat, debating if you should listen to her or to your morals. all sense jumps out the window when she sexily raises her eyebrow at you, an expectant expression sitting on her aroused face.

fuck it whatever, she's too fucking hot, "I'm your slut, minjeong, all yours."

finishing the arrangement? what a joke! she has your legs spread wide open on the soundboard, skillful fingers pumping in and out of your squelching cunt, your head thrown back, moaning into the hot air of the studio. her one hand plunging deep into your pussy while the other one is wrapped around your waist, holding you close, keeping your thighs propped open with her body. and she's just watching you, her mouth slightly open and lips a deep dark plump red, her messy hair tousled, bangs sticking to her sweaty forehead. she loves watching how your face contorts in response to her digits curling to hit that delicious spot in your hole, hitting it repeatedly, her palm slapping against your clit with every quick thrust of her hand. the sounds of your croaky moans, wet and clenching pussy, and her heavy breathing fill the sound-proof room, the thought of productivity not even grazing either of your minds.

the pleasure built so much, you felt that knot in your stomach tighten. minjeong quickened her pace as she felt your legs start to shake around her, sensing how close you were to cumming. it was all too much and you suddenly orgasmed, crying out moans with every wave of delight that surged through your body, thighs trembling, eyes rolled back and mouth hung open, your hands gripping her shoulders for dear life. she intently watched with a lustful stare at every expression your face made while you came, memorizing how good you looked when she fucked you. pulling her fingers out and collecting every drop of cum you leaked onto her hand and wrist, licking it clean until a thin sheet of her saliva remained.

"open your fucking mouth and stick your tongue out," she demanded with a deep voice.

you obeyed and gagged, feeling her tongue shove itself down your throat, forcefully swallowing her saliva and your cum. drool seeped out the sides of your lips as she continued her onslaught in your mouth, feeling her clothed hips grind against your sensitive clit, moans slipping out of your throat in the form of gags.

she'd pull away suddenly, tongue exiting your mouth with a wet slurping noise, making you cough. "you. are. mine. remember that."

she'd remind you, running her damp fingers through her hair.

these late night escapades continued to occur with every single long session held in the studio (she definitely recorded some audios of you guys fucking for sureeee). the creative part of you wanted beomgyu to stay and help with the music, but the sinful part of you so desperately wanted him to leave as soon as possible to have his sister all to yourself. your best friend never caught on to you and minjeong, but oh, yeonjun and aeri caught on like THAT. the tension between you two was so palpable, the two older members would side eye you during practices and giggle to each other, watching the two of you eye fuck from across the room.

eventually, the band's popularity would build and proceed to skyrocket, leading to your guys' first tour. tour meant performing together, traveling together, being with each other, and ultimately, tour meant being with minjeong. and so when management would get 3 hotel rooms for you all, 1 for the boys, 1 for the girls, and well, 1 for aeri being the sleeping beauty she is, rooming with minjeong meant a few things. practicing together, writing and composing together, and sleeping together (for the girls in the back, SEX).

throwing you onto the bed as soon as you reach your hotel room, tearing your clothes off and pinning you down, sloppily kissing each other. she'd prep you by eating you out, sticking her wet muscle inside of your leaking core, caressing your walls and flicking against your g-spot. you bit down hard on the pillow, muffling your moans as her thumb covered in her saliva rubbed against your throbbing clit. her pulling away right before you came and putting on a strap-on she brought on tour (for you of course!), wasting no time in thrusting it into you.

the pillow probably did nothing to silence your screams as she mercilessly fucked you into the mattress, hand pressing down on your lower stomach to feel her cock pumping in and out of you, the tip of her dick hitting your cervix again and again, her thumb still stimulating your clit. minjeong had your back arching, your hands flew everywhere, trying to grip onto anything to ground yourself, but nothing was enough, even as you screamed and bit down on your pillow. your eyes watered and your vision blurred as she rammed into you, the dark-haired girl moving her hands to wrap around your neck, choking you, gradually adding pressure with every rough thrust. her pants eventually became moans too, loving the feeling of the side of her strap hitting that delicious spot inside of her too, slapping her clit against yours as she bottomed out in you.

"I'm gonna fucking cum in you y/n, I'm gonna knock you up, fill you up until you're leaking both of us," minjeong growls above you, lowering her face to level with yours.

you feel tears fall down the sides of your face and your throat sore from another scream ripped out of you as well as her hands around your neck as she throws the pillow in your mouth onto the floor, attaching her mouth to yours instead. you cry onto her tongue as you orgasm against her strap, toes curling and legs wrapped around her waist, nails digging into minjeong's shoulders, cum gushing out of you as you feel her cock shoot fake ropes of white liquid into you, filling you up. you feel her shake in your arms too as she cums, her pleasure leaking out onto your thighs, soaking the bedsheets. she collapses on top of you, both of you desperately gasping for air, her dick still inside of you, keeping the fake cum from leaking out.

"good thing we have another bed."

of course being on tour also meant fucking in the green room before a performance. having done interviews all morning, having a concert for the tour tonight, minjeong was so mean! she had you wear a vibrator the entire day! it would be on the lowest setting up until the interviewer would ask you a question. she would turn up the intensity and you would squirm as you tried to answer, gripping your ripped jeans, almost causing another tear. and so when you two were left alone in the green room for just a minute, she took you right then and there, your legs wide open on the sofa, her mouth stimulating your clit while she increased the vibrator's setting to max, thrusting it in and out of you.

you were screaming in pleasure, all the built up tension in your stomach finally being relieved with each pump of the sex toy in your pussy. you clutched onto her leather jacket for dear life as you came all over her face, squirting everywhere. she licked as much as she could and you both worked quickly to clean before anyone came back. your members, staff, and the fans would notice you limping around on stage that night, winter with an especially evil smirk resting on her face.

being on tour also meant getting fingered in the bathroom backstage. it's literally 10 minutes to showtime, but minjeong NEEDED to fuck you now! her calloused fingers pumping in and out of you while you reciprocated fingering her too. both of your skirts hiked up and panties pushed to the side (no safety shorts? idk this is fiction, ignore it!), moaning desperately into each others mouths as you messily and sloppily made out against the bathroom stall door. curling your fingers at the same time, biting down on her lip while her fingernails dug into your thigh at the feeling. rolling your hips against her palm to stimulate your clit, her repeating the motion and pinning you harder to the door so that your bodies were flush against one another.

screaming into each other's mouths as you came at the same time, cum dripping down your wrist. quickly cleaning one another up (with your tongues, yup) and running to your places since there was literally THIRTY SECONDS to showtime! beomgyu confusedly looking at you two in frustration, asking where you guys had been, yeonjun and aeri rolling their eyes laughing, still lowkey irritated that you guys were LITERALLY FUCKING instead of getting ready to perform smh. everyone definitely noticed the redness in both of your cheeks. winter had fingered you with her calloused hand, the dampness making it more difficult to play the chords during that show, the band noticing the change in effectivity too (how technical!).

at some point, the fans would notice the tension between you two. who wouldn't ship the lead singer with the guitarist in a band anyway right? especially when it's the hot dark wolf-cut emo guitarist winter and the stunning pretty charismatic lead singer. but of course that wasn't the only reason, you guys were soooo obvious. you're singing the flirty and seductive lyrics towards her, minjeong returning a smirk back at you and sticking her tongue out while she fingerpicks her guitar, raising her eyebrows when she does. trailing your fingertips over her bare skin in skimpy outfits they'd put her in onstage, singing the lyrics into her ears.

or literally just flat out fucking saying it. like having those soundcheck Q&As where fans would ask you questions like "if you were to date one of the members, who would you date?"

answering each other's names at the same time, causing everyone to laugh in the audience, beomgyu gagging, and yeonjun and aeri holding back laughter. minjeong following up by saying something like "I mean, it's not like it hasn't happened before." LIKE WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

or when you and winter are in an interview and they ask what the inspiration was behind a particular song, let's say a more sexy song, and she responds first, "well, every song that we've written has influences from our own personal experiences."

the interviewer would be like, "so then is it true when you sing quote 'I might fuck your friend, I made my mind up'?"

you blush profusely and winter just dies laughing, "I'll let you guys decide that one."

"y/n, you wrote "we go for hours and it's still good" correct?" the interviewer continues.

"yes yes but the details don't really matter do they?" you nervously laugh while minjeong drills holes into the side of your head, staring at you with a playful and sinister smirk on the side.

my favorite headcanon to think about is online discourse regarding you and minjeong. your guys' new mv dropped for your latest single and there are a bunch of scenes with you and winter acting like an angsty couple in the rain, making up in the end by having an alluded to sex scene (lmao, wild if this actually would ever happen).

I just imagine twt going INSANEEE.

slut4winter: DID Y/N AND WINTER FUCK AT THE END OF THE VIDEO?!?!?

y/nonechancepls: i literally cannot defend minjeong and y/n anymore...

beomgyuswolfcut: bro, winter fr cucked her brother from y/n 😭😭

aerifuckinguchinaga: win-y/n's chemistry is a lil too real yall 💀

drumjunyeonjun: not them saying it was their fav scene to film, the closet is made out of AIR, IM SICK OF U F WORDS !!!

and of course, despite all of this, your dear bestie and minjeong's brother doesn't catch on. at times, beomgyu will be all what the fuck is going on when you two say something that has double entendre or has some sort of underlying meaning.

yeonjun usually just pats him on the back while laughing, "oh my friend, never change, never change."

aeri being such a nosy friend LOVES hearing you rant about it, chin propped up on her fist, leaning forward against the table, a cheeky grin on her face. with every spicy detail, she's always just like, "girllll, you're insane and wild, but good for you!"

a/n - like rq, through a guitarist pov, winter is so attractively good at guitar it pisses me off. also headcanon songs this band would make are like wdywfm by the neighbourhood, sex by the 1975, do I wanna know by arctic monkeys, and slow down by chase atlantic. incredibly self indulgent hc and WHAT ABOUT IT!!

#ffos reqs #aespa #winter #aespa winter #kim minjeong #minjeong #aespa fanfic #aespa smut #aespa x reader #winter fanfic #winter x reader #winter smut #girl group #girl group fanfic #girl group smut #kpop gg #fanfiction #kpop #karina #giselle #ningning #txt #yeonjun #beomgyu

[ohanny]

hidden agenda episode 2

"basil chicken without the basil, please"

- i love how this episode starts off strong with zo on a date with joke, not that zo has any idea this is what's happening - "my tongue is always getting me in trouble" ¬‿¬ - you think in five episodes we will get zo thinking this "we can just stay as classmates" was his last chance to run and avoid a life of homosexual bliss? - i love zo's absolute tunnel vision when it comes to this idea of joke helping him get nita and joke is literally looking anywhere else, just asking zo out to eat, "my treat" like dumb dumb, that's a date! - why is it peak zo to be like "basil chicken but no basil, please" - but look at joke widening his horizons! he's totally like "first i will feed you spring rolls, next it will be my dick"

reasons to join the debate team: 1. [NEW]: so p'wave can step on me 2. [⬇] the dumpster fire that is joke-zo-nita 3. [=] actually developing valuable skills

- but for real, i would also be down bad for nita, girl call me - i love the debate team debating about the pros and cons of letting joke join their crew and it basically being girl: well, he is really hot boy: but has anyone ever heard him talk, let alone debate? - zo is such a dedicated good boy, i can't with him, but he gets so shifty when joke is brought up :D honey, you are being sus as fuck

- HOW does zo not realize he is being flirted with by a man who is so gone on him, he thinks helping the dummy to woo his ex girlfriend is a great idea??? the agenda is not hidden at all

- i do love a man motivated by a shiny cup - the way zo is like "one day i shall be the debate champion" and joke is basically putting together a mental pinterest board of their wedding. your honour, the man is a simp

- the episode is not even halfway through and this is the second time joke has conned zo to have a date dinner - if it wasn't 2AM and i wasn't having espresso twitches, i could go on a rant about the significance of joke getting zo - a person clearly stuck in his ways and reluctant to branch out - to try new things

- oh my dear lord he is practicing his debate stuff and being so cute about it, do not make fun of the poor baby - also what is this place? does he live in a mcmansion? - the random seniors in this show are all unfairly attractive - "look at this guy drinking a soda. in a bar" - someone who knows what's up

- "is he wave's mentee? be careful of those guys." EXCUSE ME? what is going on here? what is with the ominous music? is the debate club some weird junior branch of the mafia? - i am getting vibes. i am officially shipping this bar owner with p'wave, it is done. new hyper fixation. the head canons are canoning. like i need to know who got their dick sucked and heart broken. - joke and his dedication to get zo to eat new things vol. 3942 - ksjkdfakjf JOONG. i see a shadow of stubble and i am on the floor. - zo: remember how i taught you the gazing technique? use it. joke, a man physically unable to tear his eyes off zo: ... - they are holding hands and joke is freaking out because oh god, he is just a shy bean, isn't he? like he masks his social awkwardness by being big and grumpy and now he is being coached by a man in a 2012 bieber haircut - "i don't think anyone realizes how fast my heart is racing right now" BITCH PLEASE I AM UNDER THE FLOOR OH GOD

- how is zo and literally everyone else in the bar not in love with this man by now? - he is not singing "choose me, choose me, i'll take good care of you" adlaflkdjf fucking hell (ಥ﹏ಥ)

- yes, zo, go off responsible king! don't drink and drive! give this man a ride instead, he has earned it - joke went from mildly annoyed over being babied to absolutely smitten because zo was worried about him to oh fuck shit nita in a matter of seconds - "are you sulking?" YES HE IS! you broke his tender heart yet again you fucking piece of bieber - i don't know how necessary taking zo's glasses off was for placing the helmet on his head but it was very necessary for my well being - "why were you talking about having a crush?" BECAUSE HE HAS ONE ON YOU

- zo is such a happy lil hamster driving the bike and joke is probably feeling like a roasted marshmallow at this point. like he 10/10 sniffed the back of zo's neck and downright confessed already but of course the dumb-dumb didn't hear it... the tropes are troping so hard MY HEART - what the fuck they mentioned finland?!?! TORILLA TAVATAAN! - joke is walking like a man on a mission and it is very sexy - the hair curl is swirled, the denim is hugging those thighs, the sleeves are rolled... - they made this so dramatic for no reason like how p'wave is all "he is two seconds late and literally no one else is here yet OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" (like seriously, is this a debate mafia?!) and joke definitely could have squeezed his way into that elevator, none of those girls would have minded one bit like pls - lmfao even nita is like "what's up with you? why are you here?" - oooh, p'wave is definitely up something like he is plotting and that just made him at least 45% hotter in my eyes. older man: ✓ face sculpted to the gods: ✓ possibly evil: 🚩🚩🚩 zo, a person who begged a girl's ex to help him woo her with inside knowledge: hidden agendas are wrong because there should be no secrets when you start a relationship joke, sweating: ... - also joke: spanks that button so hard damn

joke: but what if i fart a lot zo: this hardly counts as a hidden agenda joke: then what is it? zo: your talk of flatulence has rendered me speechless everyone: all hail joke, our new debate king - nooo HE GOT BUDDY ZONED - oh, good job gay gravity, we had the swoon and we got a man down on his knees like that's a double whammy!

WAIT WE ARE GETTING A HOT GIRL MAKEOVER MONTAGE NEXT EPISODE oh god those were my favorite bits of america's next top model although i think we all know who's gonna be on top here

#hidden agenda #joke x zo #episode reaction recap whatever #hidden agenda ep2 #i am so invested into these shenanigans already #it's the joongdunk show featuring louis thanawin as the biggest babygirl in gmmtv

[brokensunsets]

Young Royals Season 2 episode 1

I cannot believe this real and i am going sit and watch season 2

Wilhelm said I AM FUCKING CROWN PRINCE and will addressed as such

wille is in his bad bitch era, THE CONFIDENCE MAN

lol all the bad bitch energy is gone in the minute he looks at Simon

the Swedish word for wait is forever associated with their first kiss

Wilhelm really said " i got a haircut" as his opening line. lord help us all

oh shit it looks like Wilhelm did not know that he was giving a speech

The way i know Wille is singing mastermind by Taylor swift in his head when he got Simon to sit in only other open chair

not the pinky moving ahead.

no but really get your self a man that will touch your hand and then not be able to open a pencil case

August is also really going through it. but like at the same time its like the consequences of your action

simon said communication happens in the library. we love him for it

wille get that smile off your face. he says he needs some space

dear lord lets get away from that window. babe what about some therapy instead

THAT ScREAM IS FOR EVERYONE

#young royals #young royals season 2 #wilhelm x simon

[avese23]

//toh spoilers

CRYING

Literally grew up with Luz what the fuck

Everyone looks so gay

Darius dad figure confirmed!!

Omg Darius and the Blight dad 😳

How do they keep delivering

Blue bird <3

I need all the fanfiction please and thank you

OHMYGOD

and the morals!!!!

The collector was never a new big bad

And that sequence where the collector keeps trying to win at games and gets frustrated and you can tell the issue is that it’s a fight and they’re getting frustrated

And the conflict resolution

Cuz they’re just a kid

A really fucked up godly child

But just a kid

The pacing is so good on that end even with limitations

Kind of wanna cosplay them cuz the makeup look

Kings dad 😭😭😭

The journey of Luz’s magic omgg

Luz gets to keep both parts of her family 🫂

AMITYS HAIR WTF 😳

I want Gus’s hair highkey

I stole Sonja’s haircut and everytime I get braids I get closer to saying fuck it and starting dreads dear lord

They get to stomp on Belos hell to the yes

Skulls are so cool

Ooo I want to paint king

Bruh king as a teenager is giving Chameleon vibes

Awkward middle stage

But wholesome

FINALLY Raine gets to be happy

I was scared they were gonna die

They go through so much dear lord

Them and Hunter through the ringer dear lord

Dana why

They did a good main character revival plot

I know it’s a trope but it’s a good one

Cuz it’s about how they change!! Their arc!

It’s not about being a plot device it’s a character device

I have a friend who likes the trope a lot and we were talking about it before this episode came out so it felt special

Bruh the conversation about Belos between Luz and the titan

Reminded me of the conversation in TLOU where Ellie asks a question and Joel is like “no, {adult wisdom about trauma}” no spoilies, it’s near the end, you know the one 🦒.

Anywho I like those kinds of moments because it shows how young the protagonist is but doesn’t take agency away and it feels very genuine

Also bruh the symbolism of Luz and Belos as the two main humans in this story. But Luz came to the Isles as an immigrant and Belos as a colonizer. And Luz learning over the course of the show that that makes them very different things and not to feel shame in association to him. They are not the same. Stomp on that skull!

Bruh the Titan gave off Technodad vibes. Can’t proper explain it but he did 🫶🏽

So much exciting happened but again what got me was the ending. Like the end credits voice over with music shit. And right before that. Just. She’s going to wizard university. She’s grown up srygghjggh

We fucking came of age together what the fuck I’m not okay

@decentturtles help 😭

How can I do environmental science hw in this economy

Edit: and the way the show makes dance fighting delightful! Casting as a team is joyous even in danger

It’s like that here and it was like that for Grom 🫶🏽

#avese has a thing on prins mind #the owl house #toh spoilers #GOOD GOD #😭😭😭 #avese has tears in prins eyes

[ignify-caligo]

❤️ 🤝 🔥 🧨 for call of duty and also mayhaps until dawn? 🫣

Deimos I need to tell u something, like real need tell u something… I love u sm *mwah* thamk u for the asks dear <3

Call of Duty 

❤️: You know the king of the hill game right? They all be clawing and biting their way up to being the fave lmao - I can’t even pick, they are all my faves….…… *coughs* John Price *coughs* 

🤝: Gromsko (bc Poland ofc I gotta be proud of having a walking bush as my country’s representation lmao jk) - König bc same big boi I be having anxiety 24/7 - Soap bc chaos that’s it = pure chaos. 

🔥: No hate on the grand boi Ghostie, we love him in this household dearly  - but he fr be e v e r y w h e r e - Let someone else get the spotlight spooky boi! 

🧨: Russel Adler. Just, Russel Adler. Like you can’t make me simp for a guy who believes having a Stephen Hawking haircut is being sexy, dammit! There’s also our pathetic American princess Phillip Graves but that has begun rapidly to turn into true love, somehow idek how lmao. 

Until Dawn 

❤️: All hail our lord Chris Hartley - no takebacks, I love his funky ass. 

🤝: Chris, though Ashley comes a close second. Nonetheless, Chris 100% 

🔥: Emily & Jess - they can both go into the jealous bean jail, hated the love triangle wannabe shit sm. 

🧨: Don’t really have anyone in all honesty? Like maybe Em but all in all I either love them (Chris, Mike, Sam, Josh) or am neutral about them (Like Ash or Matt).

ask game here

#call of duty #call of duty mwii #call of duty cold war #until dawn #caligo answers q.

[sigmashuffle]

I posted 590 times in 2022

That's 590 more posts than 2021!

38 posts created (6%)

552 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@2offayyo-kzt

@gracetoldmeto

@walking-meme

@babygirlchuuya

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I tagged 571 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#sigma - 166 posts

#chuuya nakahara - 159 posts

#osamu dazai - 97 posts

#bsd - 64 posts

#bungo stray dogs - 55 posts

#nikolai gogol - 50 posts

#bsd sigma - 27 posts

#bsd spoilers - 25 posts

#fyodor dostoevsky - 25 posts

#ryunosuke akutagawa - 22 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#edit: yalls response to this post is one of the best things to ever happen to me tysm 😊 im new to the fandom so this makes me so happy!!!

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Sometimes I think about how its possible that Sigma was indeed NOT born from the book and he had a life up until 3 years ago that he simply doesn't remember.

The book could've just erased his memory.

22 notes - Posted June 11, 2022

#4

When You’re Dealt a Bad Hand

~A BSD 101 Fix It AU~ Happy "Birthday" Sigma

Read on ao3

WC: 2.4k

Summary (mentioned in this post):

“You knew he would need to die.”

Dazai paused mid-step and looked at him blankly before exploding into laughter.

Sigma was dumbfounded in horror.

Once the laughs subsided and Dazai caught his breath, overdramatically wiping a tear from his eye, he looked back to the console with a mischievous smirk. “Who said he was going to die?”

Sigma immediately removed his eyes from the floor and returned his gaze to Dazai’s, trying desperately to read his intentions.

“Of course, however,” Dazai paused, “little Chibi is not-so-pleasantly unaware of that at the current moment.”

or

How Chuuya survives the events of Chapter 101...and meets a brand new face with an odd haircut.

A/N: A BSD 101 Fix It AU - Happy "Birthday" to Sigma. If anything goes against canon, well… ignore it. This is my first fic in this fandom. And because it's my fic I threw some subtle Chuusig into the mix bc the potential in their dynamic is an untapped goldmine. Enjoy Chuuya still being alive! &lt;3

See the full post

24 notes - Posted May 4, 2022

#3

Still really proud of this joke from Chuuya's first convo with Sigma hehe

Read the whole fic here

26 notes - Posted June 13, 2022

#2

This is a plea to the dear lord (Studio Bones) to give us the child (Sigma's character design)

42 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Nov 30th, 2022 - the day Sigma was first animated

325 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#ALL FIVE POSTS MENTION SIGMA I WIN #i love this lil guy so much AND NOW HES HERE AHHHHH #tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[falloutbutch]

i got nothing but dreams inside 💜

#I can’t take two good selfies. also I can’t wink. #and dear lord I need a shower and a haircut and a nap #big thanks to lax for the shirt though #butchself

[clarinetnewsie64]

I know when I need to get a haircut when I look in a mirror and see this little Fucker staring back at me:

#haircut #jojo #funny #Dear lord I need to do something about this

[workofheart]

jean kirstein relationship hcs

sorry for the inactivity lately y’all school is whooping my ass </3 in the mean time, have some modern jean relationship hcs bc i miss him

protective boyfriend #1 ♡ ♡ ♡ will not hesitate to yell at ppl if they’re mean or rude to you, he doesn’t want anyone coming near you like that. thinks his partner deserves the absolute best and will not tolerate people disrespecting you or even thinking of disrespecting you. he will defend you til the day he dies, even if it embarrasses you

asks the waiter for a new dinner when yours is undercooked and you’re too nervous to say something. if you’re a person w social anxiety or just don’t feel like doing something, he would do things for you no problem, whether its fetching you something, paying for you, ordering for you, etc. he’s not gonna tease you or make fun of you, he’s just happy to help

he’s a sappy drunk :’) when he’s hammered, he gets all clingy and drags you onto the couch to cuddle w you/hangs off of you while you walk home and tells you all about how he feels about you and how he wants to spend his life with you and have dogs and a cute home forever. has the cutest little giggle while literally pouring out his feelings for you 

and if you bring it up in the morning, you KNOW he’s gonna get so shy and red like “oh... i said that? haha...”

his biggest dream is just domesticity with you - like i mentioned, living somewhere beautiful in a nice house with a beautiful family or just you and him :( he really cherishes you and just dreams about spending his life with you. his “happy place” is very likely just the two of you sitting in a field by a river on a sunny day, maybe with some sandwiches and sparkling water, with all the time in the world watching ducks swim by

i imagine that you were previously friends before starting to date, but he’d been seriously pining for you since the beginning, just never wanted to make you uncomfortable and was too scared to say anything. he’d go home after hanging out w you and just sigh (probably yell into his pillow in frustration too but shh) bc he just felt like if it wasn’t you, then who else?

meanwhile you’re being so obvious that you like him back but he keeps reasoning that you’re just being nice and wouldn’t actually want him like that 

was ready to settle for friendship and just lock away his feelings when you just pulled him aside and confessed directly. he was a strangely confused yet happy daze for the following weeks

is a sucker for romance movies - likes imagining him and you in those scenarios, romanticizes your own relationship shamelessly. i feel like he’d enjoy 500 days of summer and... wait for it... clueless. I KNOW. it’s his guilty pleasure. also consider: he bawled his eyes out at the end of la la land.

loves beach dates! loves the beach, loves the boardwalk, loves everything about that summer atmosphere. waits in line to get you funnel cake and then you sit and eat, people watching and making up stories for everyone that passes by and just laughing while you enjoy the fresh summer air. in the arcades, totally the type to win himself a cute plushie but when ur like “omg!! is that for me?” he goes oh yeah haha.. but don’t think he doesn’t notice when you’ve been eyeing up a specific toy at the ring toss stand. he will not hesitate to play game after game until he gets it for you. 

lover of back hugs. he is so generous, literally towers over you no matter ur height, just wraps his arms around u and holds u <3 it makes you feel so safe and loved and that’s all he wants for you 

carries you wherever possible. up the stairs, down the stairs, from the kitchen to the living room and back. he always boasts about how easy it is to pick you up bc he’s strong and it boosts his confidence lol

constantly tells you how pretty he thinks you are. jean always thinks you look beautiful so he always compliments your outfits and your hair and your makeup, leans into ur ear to whisper it to u and make u giggle even when it’s just the two of you at home

on that note: always gets caught staring at you and he blushes so easily when you call him out for it. can’t stop looking at you over the top of his newspaper when you’re having breakfast in the morning, can’t stop looking at you while you’re making dinner for him, can’t stop looking at you while you work or study

for valentines/your birthday/holidays he always makes you cute handmade cards out of colored construction paper. he finds a new design every single time and spends so long on it, and finishes by writing out how he feels on the inside. can u just imagine him sitting at his desk, tongue poking out of his mouth with a glue stick in hand as he lays down different colored paper hearts :( 

teases you nonstop. always poking fun at you, probably make jokes about how “irresistible” he is and how you can’t keep away lol, thinks you look adorable when you’re flustered

u give him haircuts when it’s getting long, he sits on a stool in ur bathroom and u just give him a trim every once in a while. trusts you not to fuck it up (not that you ever would) and it always comes out so nice and it makes his heart swell just to have you there to do such intimate, sort of domestic things for him.

pet names! i know so many people have talked about this but it’s just so true. has tried everything in the book to see what you like, watches carefully to see how you respond so he knows, occasionally calls you something silly like “pookie” just to get a reaction out of you

needs verbal communication. jean always has so much on his plate and has a lot of insecurities, so he really needs that reassurance that you need him and love him every day until he can accept it for himself

favorite position to sleep in is him on his back with your head on that area between his neck and shoulder, holds you really close during the night. loves loves loves when you nestle into him and cling to him for warmth when you’re asleep. has trouble sleeping if you aren’t there

dotes on you so much seriously he is so sweet and caring, just so whipped for you. he is literally so weak and always gives into you just bc it makes you happy. you want to drive out for mcdonald’s at two in the morning for an apple pie and a shake? he’s getting his keys rn

nsfw below the cut (18+)

i think mostly everyone is in agreement that jean is a total pleasure dom - he spends all night getting you to cum again and again, always asking if you can give him one more

as mentioned earlier, teases. avoids giving you what you want at first, makes you use your words, and when when you do get it, you’re getting it. aka, overstim galore. he’s not stopping until you’re spent

so much dirty talk, asks so many questions to get you to talk. “louder for me, princess” type of guy. wants to reduce you to babbling with how good he makes you feel - the sounds you make get him so incredibly hard

he is also vocal bc he knows you like it. groans his name into your ear just to feel you clench, then laughs.

never forgets to mark you up, leaves hickeys all over your neck and chest and thighs. loves to look at them later on when you’re changing, and especially loves your reaction to seeing them for yourself

size kink!! this man is almost 6’3 so chances are he’s gonna be bigger than you regardless. likes being close to you, likes being in positions where he can see you, probably has an arm slung around your waist or back whenever the position allows for it so he can hold you close

pins your arms down, holds your hips to the bed so you just have to sink into the mattress and take it

every time he aims to fuck your brains out and make sure the only thing you’re thinking about is him and how good he makes you feel

his fingers are fucking magical, dear lord, he gets you so worked up and knows just how to touch you to make you squirm, loves seeing you go hazy and unravel on his fingers. his fingers are so long and gentle and stretch you out so nice + he knows exactly what to do, where to touch you, when to change his motions to get you there in minutes

needs to be kissing you when he makes you cum. swallows your moans, adores how you struggle to kiss him back with the pleasure he’s giving you

mirror sex is top tier for him, probably has one of those siding door closets w mirrors next to his bed so he can make you look at yourself and watch just what he’s doing to you

eye contact, will 100% grab your jaw to make you look at him, loves seeing you stare up at him through glassy eyes

literal KING of aftercare. takes such good care of you, gets you anything and everything you need, cleans up so well, gives you the world and more

#jean kirstein x reader #jean kirstein fluff #jean kirstein fanfic #jean x reader #jean kirstein #jean kirstein hcs #jean kirstein headcanons #aot hcs #aot headcanons #aot x reader #aot fluff #jean kirstein smut

[tennessoui]

29 G.A.t.W. AU - The C.W.s start 2yrs early bc of Galactic Law EVERY Natborn in the GAR MUST be 18yr old. Obi-Wan is forced to leave behind his young Padawan. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.. Without the Masters being able to be there physically they have to start training programs to help the Pawadans. Every Master now has to teach certain subjects. Anakin finally sees a mind healer & finds inner peaces without the Council breathing down his neck. The Temple Locked Down so No Sith Influenc

so this is a beautiful ask and beautiful future and i followed it like i follow my google maps directions which means maybe 30% of the way but i was watching lord of the rings and thinkin about braids so here is this and i'm very sorry it's what it is

29. Going Away To War AU (Tatooine slave culture, 17!Anakin, preslash/Anakin's pining, mullet!Obi-Wan)(2.3k)

The Padawan braid isn’t the first braid Anakin learns about. It’s not even the fiftieth. By the time Qui-Gon Jinn, Queen Amidala, and Obi-Wan Kenobi land on Tatooine, Anakin is well-versed in the language of braids and what each means. He hadn’t had any of his own yet, seeing as how he was only nine with no accomplishments or triumphs or romantic entanglements to advertise, but if he had stayed on Tatooine, he’d probably have gotten his first braid after he won the podrace.

HIs mother would have done it with gentle hands and a proud smile, and their neighbors would have gathered outside their door to try and be the first one to congratulate him.

Braids are important. They’re sacred. Their style and the beads woven through the strands signify everything important to know about the Tatooinian wearing them. He’d see the freed people’s braids in the marketplace and burn with envy. He’d see a blushing girl braid her lover’s obsidian into his hair to signify courtship, and know one day he’d do the same to someone else. He’d practice his braids until his hands hurt from the motion, wanting to be perfect at it before he’d need to know. After all, as a slave, there wouldn’t be much else he could offer them except beautiful braids and beads.

There is only one braid he doesn’t know the meaning of, and it’s the one that hung down Obi-Wan Kenobi’s shoulder when they first met.

He thinks about asking him, even though it might be considered rude, but before he can, they’re at the Jedi Temple, then on Naboo and then Master Jinn is dead and Obi-Wan’s braid is gone, and Anakin thinks, oh. So the braid means love.

Mourners on Tatooine cut the braids off their dead and then a single braid from their own head, to mean that a part of themselves has died as well. Obi-Wan tries to be extra nice to Obi-Wan after that.

That is, until the man approaches Anakin with a serrated knife and a rueful grin and tells him that because the Council has allowed him to take him as his padawan, it’s time for Anakin to have the Padawan haircut.

The fit Anakin throws at these words could probably be heard back on Tatooine, but his new master must be made of the same strength Lukka crafts the sandstorms from, because an hour later, Anakin is looking at his shorn locks on the floor in a state of horrified shock.

Obi-Wan kneels down at his side as he begins braiding together the lone strand of hair Anakin has been allowed to keep.

“I’m sorry,” his master says quietly. “I know that your hair is very important to you on Tatooine.”

“How will I practice my braids now?” Anakin asks despondently. If he is to have short hair until he’s Obi-Wan’s age (ancient), then he won’t ever be able to practice the courtship braids. The engagement braids. The marriage braids. All the other ones too. Do the Jedi just present their beloveds with sloppy braids?

The thought has him near tears.

Obi-Wan looks very panicked. “Please don’t cry,” he begs. “Jedi apprentices shouldn’t cry.”

Anakin’s vision becomes even more blurred at this. Now he’ll never be able to practice his braids and he’s a bad Jedi.

“Oh blast, that’s not what I meant,” Obi-Wan backtracks, hesitantly putting his hand on Anakin’s shoulder. It’s not very comforting, but it’s the best Anakin has so he resolves to make do and lean into the touch. “Well. You can, uh. You can braid my hair?”

Anakin sniffles. “Your hair is short. And ugly.”

His master laughs and ruffles Anakin’s own short hair. “I’ll grow it out, just for you if it’s that important to you.”

He would? Anakin looks up at him hopefully. That could work. It even makes sense, kind of, for Obi-Wan to let Anakin braid his hair. After all, Anakin’s going to be wearing Obi-Wan’s braid, even though he doesn’t love him yet.

Maybe the Jedi do things differently. Maybe the Jedi weave the braid, and the love comes later.

---

“I remember a young boy telling me my hair was ugly,” his master says consideringly, as he lets himself be pushed to the floor while Anakin clambers onto the bed behind him.

“You bring that up every time, Master,” he sighs as he strokes his hands through Obi-Wan’s admittedly beautiful mane of hair. It’s not as long as he’d like, not really, but it doesn at least go down to his shoulders. “I don’t know how many times you want me to apologize.”

“Oh, just once more,” his master smiles with his voice. Anakin will miss this. Anakin doesn’t know how he’ll live without it, without Obi-Wan’s quiet wit and wry humor, his willingness to indulge Anakin no, even if it’s been eight years of braid-practicing.

“Once more might be all we have time for, Master,” Anakin whispers. His fears are not the sort one can say loudly.

“Do not think like that,” Obi-Wan turns his head to the side just enough so that he can look up at Anakin. “It will be fine. I will be fine.” “You’d be better if I came with you!” Anakin argues loudly. “You know I’m old enough! It’s not fair!”

His voice cracks on the last word, making him wince as Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow.

“The Jedi Council and all Republic legal branches have spoken. We will not take children into a warzone--”

“Then don’t, but I’m almost eightee--”

“--And I agree with them.”

Anakin’s fingers slacken on the strands of hair, loosening the braid. “You do?” he asks, feeling betrayed. “You want to leave me here at the Temple while you go get yourself killed on some Mid-Rim planet?”

“I want you safe, Padawan,” Obi-Wan corrects, breaking away from him so that he may stand up and sit beside him on the bed. “A war is no place for Jedi, but while us knights have no choice but to fight, we would keep our younglings as far from it as possible--even those younglings who are only a few months shy of being eighteen.”

“You’re taking away my choice,” Anakin says quietly, anger abating enough that he has to struggle to hide the fear in his voice. He brings his knees up against his chest and curls tightly into himself. “What if you die and--and--” he breaks off and pulls useless at his Padawan braid.

He knows what it means now after eight years spent at the Jedi Temple. It’s supposed to denote the Padawan from the Master, and signify the respect an apprentice has for their teacher.

But he’s never been able to shake his original conclusion that it was a representation of love, though he’d never say that aloud.

But when he touches it, sees it in the mirror, he’s reminded only of the love he bears for his master. A guilty, shameful love that takes up too much of his mind and heart. He’d fallen in love with Obi-Wan somehow. Now when Anakin dreams of marriage beads, his fingers are invariably braiding them into coppery blond hair. Now when Anakin dreams of--well, other things, it’s always Obi-Wan’s body beneath his, over his, inside of his, around his--

And now the galaxy is at war, the Knights and Masters of the Jedi Temple called to defend the Republic, and Anakin is too young to follow his master.

“And what, dear one?” Obi-Wan asks gently, hand coming up to unclasp Anakin’s fingers from his braid. “If I die, you will let me go as any Jedi would. I will become one with the Force and you will continue forward.”

Anakin almost wants to shake his shoulders. Doesn’t his master know anything about Anakin at all? How could Obi-Wan say these things as if he believes them? If Obi-Wan were to die--if he were to die away from Anakin, without Anakin--if the unthinkable were to happen--Anakin doesn’t know what he’d do.

A part of himself would die as well, he knows that immediately. He’d cut Obi-Wan’s braid from his hair so that the man could be buried with it, and he’d never weave another.

“Have faith in me, Anakin,” Obi-Wan tells him softly, hand falling to rest on his shoulders. “I will come back. Or perhaps in a few months you will join me.” He sounds falsely enthusiastic, like he’d do anything to keep Anakin away from the war.

As if Anakin would let that happen as soon as he’s legally able to fight.

“Will you let me braid your hair?” he whispers, slowly sitting cross-legged.

“Of course,” Obi-Wan says immediately, sinking back to the floor.

“Will you keep them in this time? For as long as you can?” Anakin asks, shily, running his fingers through Obi-Wan’s hair slowly, savoring the softness of the strands.

“I will do my best,” his master promises him. “What will they mean?”

“Good fortune,” Anakin replies, seeing the braid come together in his mind’s eye. Yes, good fortune, a plea to the gods who see Obi-Wan in battle to look the other way. To take someone else instead. He gets to work, collecting a chunk of hair on the left side of Obi-Wan’s temple to braid back.

Nothing’s fixed. Nothing’s better. The person Anakin’s pretty sure is the love of his life will be sent out to fight tomorrow at dawn, and he might die never knowing how Anakin feels about him.

But it’s not like Anakin can tell him either, not when he’s seventeen. Not when he’s Obi-Wan’s Padawan.

He’s always planned to wait until after he’s been Knighted, after Obi-Wan has been given enough time to see Anakin as a man who has a choice whether or not to love him. And, yes, the Code forbids attachment and Jedi cannot marry, but it’s not like Anakin would ever be able to marry Obi-Wan legally even on Tatooine.

But he could give him the braids, if Obi-Wan wanted. That way, when they both died, in their sleep of natural causes, the Goddess Leia knows to keep their souls intertwined as she transports them to their afterlife.

Anakin’s fingers pause as he thinks of something that would make him feel better.

He bites his lip. His mother would disapprove. To give the braids to someone without their knowledge is heavily frowned upon.

Anakin winces, even as his hands change direction. These are extenuating circumstances. There’s a lot at stake here. Anakin can’t risk a life and an afterlife without his master. And he’s going to ask him eventually. Just not now. Just not yet.

The braids for good fortune form a crown over one’s head. The braids for marriage…

They start similarly enough at the temples, but connect to each other at the back of the head, where a third braid is begun. Then each braid is braided into each other. The left braid represents the braider. The right braid represents their beloved. The third braid that begins when the two meet represents the life that they will create together.

Anakin holds the three braids loosely in his hands, staring down at them in some sort of surreal shock. This is not the circumstances he has imagined doing this under, but he’s heartbroken. Not when it’s Obi-Wan who will be wearing his braids.

“Dear one?” Obi-Wan asks, breaking the heavy silence. “I do not mean to rush you, but my knees are starting to hurt.”

“You’re so old,” Anakin quips back, stroking a thumb over one of the braids, the right one--Obi-Wan’s.

“And you are so very young,” Obi-Wan retorts. “The two of us together is the equivalent of one good soldier.”

Anakin’s heart pauses for a second. “Would you want that?” he asks nonsensically.

“What?”

“If you could choose. If I were eighteen. Would you want to be…” Just as suddenly as he gained that sudden burst of confidence, he loses it. He sighs, mostly in disappointment at himself.

“Anakin?” Obi-Wan prompts.

“You’d want me there with you if I weren’t too young, wouldn’t you, master?” Anakin finally says.

Obi-Wan hesitates, and Anakin’s chest feels tight. “I would want you safe, regardless of age, dear one,” he settles on saying.

Anakin’s fingers clench down on the almost complete marriage braids. “But if there were no war,” he forges ahead. “If the war never happened. You wouldn’t want to leave me behind. You’d want to stay together.”

Anakin can just imagine the furrowed eyebrows Obi-Wan must be sporting as he tries to figure out what Anakin wants from him.

“Just answer the question,” Anakin begs, tightening his hold on the braids to prevent Obi-Wan from turning around.

“You are my Padawan, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says slowly. “And someone who will one day be my partner, my friend. I would like...very much to be allowed to see you finish growing into the fine man you will be. The one that in many ways you already are.”

“And then?” Anakin asks doggedly. “When we’re both knights. And you’re assigned...a mission. And you get to choose your partner. And it’s me or. Or someone else. I don’t care. Who would you choose?”

“Well, I suppose it would depend on if this fabricated mission depends on stealth. Secrecy. The ability to tell a believable falsehoo--”

“I’m being serious,” Anakin insists, cutting his master off. He almost wants to drop the braids, let them fall apart. Clearly Obi-Wan doesn’t...perhaps won’t ever--

“It’d be you,” Obi-Wan murmurs very quietly, as if afraid to speak louder. “We are better together than we are separate.”

Anakin blinks and then smiles, only a little teary-eyed at his master’s confession. “Yes, Master,” he agrees, finally--finally--braiding the three braids together and tying them off neatly. He pictures the material of their souls responding the same way that Obi-Wan’s hair has. The thought makes him feel equal parts giddy and guilty.

“After all, someone needs to make sure you don’t crash every ship in the Jedi Temple,” Obi-Wan continues dryly.

“Yes, Master,” Anakin agrees again, running a hand lightly over his work.

He’ll tell him when he’s a Knight. Really.

#mmmmm i like to think obi-wans just like. at a spaceport or something wearing these braids when anakin's 19/20 #almost a knight #and someone from tatooine sees the braids and compliments him on how nice they look and how pretty #because being well cared for is also a signn of a good marriage #and obi-wan is like 'thank you my padawan did them #and the person is like 'padawan? i havent heard that word before. is it the word for husband in your language' #and obi-wan is just ext.crash #asks #my fics #obikin #(anakin is so mortified and obi-wan DEFINITELY chews him out but then he uh notices the next day that obi-wan...didn't take the braids out) #and then anakin is like ext.crash #prompt fill #braid au

[blanketorghost]

Much Ado About Choices (1/5)

Summary: After being given the choice between all three members of the Starsworn, Noel has yet to truly decide who they want to be their guardian for the time they'll be staying in Astraea.

Fictif Stories: Last Legacy, Roadkill (Referenced)

Characters: Noel Villamil, Felix Iskandar Escellun, Sage Lesath, Anisa Anka

Timeline: In-Between Prologue and Felix's Route Ch1

The sun had set in Mournfall; ripples of orange, dim light filled the office where now Noel was settled. Alongside what was left of the Starsworn order.

“You don’t have to decide right now, Noel,” Anisa put a hand on the cosplayer’s shoulder, smoothing the pleats on their cape, which was now regrettably in shambles after the events that unraveled at the Saucy Gull. “You should pick someone you feel a connection to.”

Noel took a deep breath, instinctively reaching for the back of their hair for a lock to twiddle with- or, well, their remaining hair… what once was a bushy, chest-length curly mane had now been reduced to something barely longer than a pixie cut. Their hands only reaching at ghosts of what once was there.

“Oh- yeah. Sorry about that.” The figure behind them speaks up- Sage- the responsible for the impromptu haircut. It was necessary, they knew that- after all, it was the easiest option to get Noel out of danger as one of the patrons had tried to drag them by the hair lord knows where. If Sage hadn't done what he'd done… it was best not to think about that, though.

Despite their clear discomfort, Noel turns their head slightly to catch the man’s gaze, forcing a smile. “It 's fine, really.”

“Heh. Well, if it makes you feel any better, I like this short hair look better. Gives you a certain…”

Noel's smile grows slightly more uncomfortable as their brows pinch. “Please don’t say ‘Je ne sais quois’,”

“Don't know what that means, but if it works for you, works for me.” Sage shrugs noncommittally, wearing a wide grin despite the uneasy wag of his tail. “Don’cha have a potion for hair growth or something?” He shifts to Felix, which had retreated to a corner of the room, his eyes glued to a book whilst muttering something in a language Noel couldn’t quite recognize.

“What?! Magic doesn’t- It just doesn’t work like that, Sage. I just don’t have a potion or spell for everything your minuscule brain may come up with." He sighs loudly, making a show of adjusting his hair and glasses. "... And I’m sure our dear barista here wouldn’t appreciate their hair reaching tantamount lengths in less than a minute, no?” The necromancer lifts up his face, flashing a smile that Noel can’t quite figure out to be friendly or sarcastic; But those smiles seemed to be common from the wizard, as Sage shrugged and laced his fingers to the back of his neck.

“I don’t mind short hair, Sage." To make a point, Noel let down the half-pony they sported and brushed the sides and back to their hair, letting their curls relax and settle. But to their surprise, two long sideburns stood out and framed their face- apparently being spared the cut by virtue of being responsible for holding the hairstyle together. "... Oh."

As if on queue, all three Starsworn looked back at Noel, which had now started twirling both strands self-consciously. Biting the bottom of their lip. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Anisa takes a step forward, but before she can put her arm on Noel's shoulder, they take a step back.

"...Very sure. Could I get some air?"

Anisa purses her lips but nods slightly, turning to the side and gesturing to the office's entrance. "There's a balcony to the right of this corridor. I'll escort you the-"

"There's no need! I'll be back in a minute." They rushed to the door, pulling on their sideburns tight as they felt their face getting redder by the second. They must look ridiculous. As they turned the knob, Noel snuck a last glance at the group, all of which looked at them worriedly. Even Felix, who had made a great effort to avoid their gaze for the last few hours, had now his eyes glued on them. “... Just a minute.”

Leaving the office behind them, Noel's heels clacked under the polished stone floor of Mournfall tower, trying to keep a confident stride despite the thoughts that weighed upon them. As they reached the aforementioned balcony, they finally got rid of the confidence facade they’ve tried to put on all day and slumped over the railing, sighing loudly.

They should be happy, right? They’ve just been transported to not only a video-game world, but their favorite video-game world!

So why… Why did they feel their stomach empty with fear whenever they took a step forward?

They touched the nape of their neck, closing their eyes. Usually, in stories, a ‘chosen one’ would be the person who would be taking their place. They weren’t a ‘chosen one’.

Sure, they had survived a zombie apocalypse back on earth, but to be entirely honest, Noel had always thought they were only able to thanks to their friends… and a very conveniently placed weapons shed at one of her friends’ houses. And… it’s not like they were a genius of any kind when it came to their major. Throughout their career, they’d seen much more talented artists. So why them?

It didn’t make sense.

Noel carefully brushed the two tufts of long hair that framed their face now and trailed all the way back to the nape of their neck, rubbing it softly. Memories of what'd happened at the Saucy Gull flooded their brain.

They remembered trying to evade the drunken patrons, barely missing the punches and kicks thrown at everyone and no one at that point. They then remembered the forceful pull at their hair- just as they were about to reach a back door. The rest was a bit of a blur. Before they knew it, Sage had already come to the rescue, unfortunately at the cost of their freshly done dye job. But they couldn't really complain.

Noel's lips pursed as they tapped their fingers on the railing. Looking over the town. Could they have done better at the Saucy Gull? If they couldn't, maybe next time the cost of their escape could be greater than just a couple inches of hair. Would their friends be disappointed in them, meeting such a stupid fate?

"Ahem-"

Their train of thought derailed as someone cleared their throat behind them, Noel turning sharply to face them.

Felix.

“Oh. Uhm, Hi.” Feeling suddenly self conscious, Noel straightened the pleats of their skirt. “Sorry, did I take too long?”

The wizard shook his head before tapping at the book in his right hand. “There’s no need to apologize. I just thought you may want to see this;” Felix beckoned with his free hand to come, a proud smirk on his face. Noel cautiously leaned close, taking a peek inside the book.

“... Felix, what language is this?”

“Oh! My apologies…” He trailed off again, muttering to himself once more in an unknown dialect before stopping and looking back at Noel. “... Well, anyways. Sage’s comment actually reminded me, there’s this spell I’ve read once. It may be experimental, but I’m sure that if done correctly it may aid you with growing your hair back to its original lengt-”

Noel let out a startled chuckle, which rapidly evolved into a fit of giggles. “Felix, I’m fine. Really.” They tried their best to calm themselves down for the wizard’s sake, which now had turned red as a beet in embarrassment. Despite that, Felix’s reaction was much too endearing to not smile at. “I think I have much more serious worries than just a bad haircut.”

“A- a-....” He coughed awkwardly, composing himself despite the blush already having reached his ears. “Are you sure? If you're worried about my earlier remark, I can assure you it was just in jest. Your hair wouldn’t just grow uncontrollably if the spell was applied… err, correctly, that is.”

They put a hand over Felix’s shoulder, giving them a restrained smile- still fighting laughter. “It’s okay. If I had it grow out with a spell then I’d have wasted my money on the whole dye job thing. And, I don’t mind giving Ramona Flowers realness for a while.” They gave a playful wink; only deepening the red that peppered his cheeks. Absolutely adorable.

“Wh-...Sorry, what is a Ramona Flowers?”

“Oh, right.” Now it was Noel’s turn to blush. Pursing their lips and clasping their hands together to rest above their lips. “She’s just… Well, she’s a character from this comic series… I mean, it’s just an earth thing.”

“...Well, if this ‘Ramona Flowers’ is as ravishing as you are, then I suppose there is no room for complaint.”

Oh.

Oh.

He did not just flirt with them, did he?

Noel opened their mouth to speak, but thought better of it and closed it; Instead they gave him an incredulous smirk despite the furious red of their cheeks. "At least I don't have seven evil exes you have to fight with?"

Before Felix could say anything else, they lightly tapped his shoulder and walked out and back into the building. "Let's not keep Anisa and Sage waiting, shall we?"

The wizard just nodded and moved on, following close behind.

"... If I may ask, if this is not your original hair color, then which is it?" Felix's question echoed through the halls of the tower.

"Oh? It's just brown. Nothing special, really. I suppose pink hair's natural here, then?"

Felix breathed sharply at the question, snapping his book shut. "I… Yes. I've seen hair colored all shades of the rainbow. Though it's most common in Ileptha… Sage's species, that is."

"That must be nice. I wouldn't need to spend half my paycheck on dye jobs."

"... right."

Whatever Noel said must've deflated Felix's mood, as his voice now had an uncharacteristic sadness to it. One they'd only heard once at the ritual site.

Before they could even ask about it though, the door of Anisa's office slammed open.

"Noel! Perfect. Felix has come fetch you already."

The pair silently entered the premises. Nothing much was different other than a couple extra chairs that Noel assumed Anisa'd brought in while they were on the balcony.

"So, I do not wish to rush you, but have you made a decision?" The knight gently ushered Noel to the plush armchair by the fireplace, now positioned at the head of the office's table. Each of the starsworn taking a seat around them.

"... I think I've made one, or as much as one I can make right now."

The air seemed to be sucked out for a second. All eyes suddenly in Noel again, waiting for their answer. They took a deep breath, hoping their choice wouldn't anger any of the people in front of them.

"... Well, Anisa's words got me thinking, and I-.. well, I thought given both my situation and your apparent schedules, I'd thought… maybe, it'd be best if we split the workload."

The trio in front of them leaned slightly closer. Even Sage, whom had been sprawled over a chair had straightened up.

Oh gosh, let's hope this wouldn't annoy anyone.

"Today's saturday, right…? So, uhm. Since I don't know any of you well enough to really make an informed decision- I'd thought this week could be some sort of trial period? You know, to make sure I know what could be the best… What could be the best way to arrange time."

Anisa nodded slowly and leaned her chin on her palms. "That sounds prudent enough. How would this trial period work, exactly?"

"So… what I'm thinking is that we could divide the rest of the week by threes. So I could spend Sunday and Monday with one, Tuesday and Wednesday with another and Thursday and Friday with the remainder of the three. You can decide which days of the week work best for all of you; and then you'd have 4 days free to work on whatever you guys do without me butting in."

"Call dibs for Tuesday and Wednesday!" Sage immediately chimed in.

"Sage! We're supposed to decide what works best for all of us! Not just you." Anisa elbowed him slightly, Felix barely restraining a chuckle from his side of the table. "Anyways, I think that's a great idea. I may be busy during the week, but I think I could take any turn available."

"Then I'll take Thursdays and Fridays-" Felix offered in return. "That way Annie can take tomorrow and monday. Or do they make you work weekends as well?"

Anisa shuffled in her chair, letting herself relax a bit. "They don't. Or at least, they wouldn't… I just…" Her cheeks gained a soft shade of pink. "I just prefer to plan ahead."

"That's just Annie for you, Noel. Always working, always busy." Sage leans back on his chair and puts his arms on his neck, yawning a bit. "So prepare to be up bright and bleeding early tomorrow morning."

"Can't wait. I don't think I'd get much sleep anyways."

"Oho?" Sage's ears perked as his grin widened, but before he could tell what Noel could only assume would be an obscene joke, Anisa cut him off.

"Actually, I may need you to be here tomorrow morning too. I believe that, even if we split the workload throughout the week of taking care of Noel, we should prioritize finding a reversal spell as soon as possible. Felix-" The wizard jumped in response, his glasses sliding off his face. "What spell did you exactly perform to bring Noel here again?"

"Ah! Uh. Well, you see, it's quite complex-... I... I actually spent years trying to perfect it and as you can see- er," Felix's face turned a shade of red Noel was quite sure they'd never seen before— and his eyes were now desperately avoiding Anisa's, which were pinned right on him.

He was stalling.

Noel closed their eyes, remembering briefly the events of their first meeting. Felix's bright and crooked smile despite the tears staining his cheeks, the unrestrained joy and warmth of his hug, the words he said… that kiss he oh so gently pressed on their hand.

And then… the disappointment once he'd noticed he'd failed. The way he held himself in sheer sadness and despair. How, even after putting on a show of strength and maturity, his eyes no longer shined as brightly as they did when he first laid eyes on them.

Whomever Felix was trying to bring back that night, whoever he was trying to revive…

…

Deep in their heart, they knew they just couldn’t let anyone now. Whether that be to protect Felix’s feelings or his reputation for practicing illegal magic, they didn’t know just yet.

"... Anisa, sorry. But could we wait for that conversation tomorrow? I think we all deserve some time to unwind after the events of today. Especially after being such a pain on the neck for all of you."

As Anisa’s eyes softened, Noel let out a small sigh. They’d bought him a little time, on the very least.

“You’re not a pain, Noel. But-”

“But they’re right, you know? The night’s young and it’s been a long day. You more than anyone deserves a break Annie." Sage pointed at Anisa, her only slumping in return.

"...Very well. Let's stop for today. But tomorrow I want answers! No more distractions." She wagged an accusatory finger at Felix, who was sweating buckets on his seat. Looking as if he wished it'd swallow him.

Sage shrugs in response. "Sounds good to me. Now, about what we'll be doing during that break…" his eyes shifted to Noel, flashing a wolfish grin. "What d'you have planned? As long as there's booze, I'm in."

Noel rested their chin on the back of their palms and pursed their lips. Giving themselves a second to listen to the crackling of the fire behind them. "Well, if I'm gonna trust you all blindly, I might as well start trying to get to know you guys better-" As soon as they felt the obvious innuendo joke rise from Sage's chest, they immediately corrected themselves "As in conversation! Y'know, talk about… stuff."

"Of course. I'll try to answer to the best of my abilities." Anisa leaned back forward and straightened herself.

Noel nodded, though they still could feel the apprehension on Felix, which'd barely uttered a word. "Great, thanks. Uhm…" they pursed their lips. Trying to find anything that could be said to lighten the mood. "You know, you can also ask about me and about earth too. Or whatever, really."

That caught Felix's attention, which had finally gotten his nose out of the tome he was using to shield himself from Anisa's eyes.

"So… ask away?"

Sage opened his mouth, but before he could even make a sound, Anisa had already pounced at the oportunity.

"What is earth like? I suppose it mustn't be so different from Astraea since we manage to share at least a language, right? What places have you been? How's the food?"

The woman's eyes had now gained a childish wonder Noel thought they'd never seen before. Her composed knight persona had completely peeled off.

"Well, it's difficult to really explain earth… first of all, magic is almost extinct there- so there's oughta be some big differences.

From what I've seen so far… I think that the biggest difference is the architecture, the clothes and… well, everything about Mournfall is just… I can't really explain it."

"Come on Annie, the question you'd asked has too big of a scope. Let's start with something simpler, shall we?" Felix said as he started to relax as well. "Where were you when you before you landed in Astraea?"

"Oh! Right. We've been so busy with everything I never even told you all. Well, I was in FanExpo FantasyCon, it's a convention that is being held in Miami this year… that's close to Orlando, by the way-"

As Noel started, the group huddled closer together. And as stories started being shared and wine started being poured, their worries about what their fate would be inside this strange video game world started to melt away for the night.

#much ado about choices #noel villamil (last legacy) #felix iskandar escellun #anisa anka #sage lesath #last legacy #last legacy mc #last legacy felix #last legacy anisa #last legacy sage #fictif last legacy

[thetravelerwrites]

Courtship of the Headless King: Chapter One

Rating: General Audiences Fandoms: 忘却の首と姫 | Boukyaku no Shirushi to Hime | The Princess and The Forgotten Head Relationship: Female Human/Male Headless King Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Political Marriage, Power Dynamic, Headless King Words: 4366

This is not my original work!

This is a fan retelling of one of my favorite mangas, Boukyaki no Shirushi to Hime, whose original mangaka sadly passed away in 2014, leaving the series unfinished. I will start at the beginning of the manga and go through the entire story that has already been written. Once I reach chapter 20, which is the end of the published chapters, I will have to start extrapolating and imagining how the story may have played out. I hope I can do the original story justice and not disgrace the original author.

I will say that I will be fixing a few things that made me uncomfortable about the original manga, in that the female protagonist was 15, which I didn't like. Otherwise I will try to stick as close to the original story as possible, though I will be arranging it so that it's a bit more linear.

I hope you enjoy!

“Blessings to you, my lady,” The visitor said, bowing deeply in greeting. “My name is Aquamarine. I am a servant of the high king of Banfarie and a chosen attendant to the future queen.”

The summons wasn’t necessarily a shock, but it was definitely a surprise. Lilya, the third princess of the former kingdom of Tritsia, had come of age during a bloody war between kingdoms to either side, and her small, impoverished land had been caught in the crossfire. Tritsia had been absorbed by the victorious kingdom to the east, Couliea, and was now a vassal state. As such, the royal family of Tritsia were now hardly more than paupers in their own kingdom.

Lilya assumed that she would no longer be eligible for the marriage interviews that were famously, or perhaps infamously, conducted five times every month in the largest empire in the continent, Banfarie. The interviews had been happening since before she had even been born, but as of yet, no queen had been selected. Or rather, no woman had accepted.

The rules for who would be chosen for the interviews was standard for most monarchs looking for a queen: a woman of royal or noble blood with proof of lineage, at least eighteen years old but no older that twenty five, no previous marriages or engagements, no children, and… well… consent.

Lilya met most of the criteria… except for one thing: she wasn’t a high born woman anymore. Her family’s royal status had ended when the kingdom was absorbed into another. Besides, even when her father had been king, they had never exactly been what anyone would consider proper royalty. Her father worked in the fields with his people, doing the same back-breaking labor as his subjects. Back then, she could hardly be called princess, but now she was nothing more than a peasant farm girl, more suited to feeding chickens and mucking out stables than attending grand balls and high teas.

So there had been quite a stir when their unusual guest came to deliver the summons. She was a woman who appeared very young in age, no more than perhaps sixteen, though she spoke as if she were a far older creature. She had a short bob haircut and a thick fringe, but it wasn’t enough to hide her pointed ears, her sharp eyes, and her upswept eyebrows, belying a nature that wasn’t human.

Her cloak was plain, but well-made and of fine cloth, likely silk or satin. She had all the hallmarks of a servant of a wealthy, prosperous nation. She had been given entrance to the house by the only servant Lilya’s family employed, Sebastian, and was standing in the receiving room with Lilya’s mother and aunt.

“I come with greetings from my Lord King, to relay a question and to present a gift to you, beloved princess.”

Lilya tilted her head. “A gift? His Majesty didn’t need to send a gift.”

Aquamarine simply chuckled and bowed. “From his Majesty, with his kindest regards.” From her cloak, she produced a velveteen box and opened it, revealing a tiara of breathtaking beauty. Sizable diamonds and sapphires lined the circlet and rose up to create a lovely sloped and winding style like that of wind on water. It was a crown that would suit any head it rested upon.

“Oh!” Lilya breathed. “It’s breathtaking!” She rushed to her mother in delight. “This is the answer to the famine on the outskirts in the south! If we sell the tiara at the biggest market in the neighboring kingdom, we could feed the farmers for months, maybe a year!”

“Lilya!” Her aunt exclaimed in horror. “How could you suggest such a thing? This was a gift from a king, for goodness sake, you can’t just sell it!”

“But, Auntie, I can’t hoard something like this when people are starving!”

“You would not wear it?” Aquamarine asked, her face shrewdly assessing. “Is it not to your liking?”

“Oh, no, that’s not it at all!” Lilya insisted earnestly. “It’s lovely, more so than anything I’ve ever seen. I’ve never worn anything so extravagant. But… truly, for me to wear it would be like putting silk ribbons on a pig. It would be far less useful as a trinket in my wardrobe and better as a tool to feed the hungry. I’m afraid that Couliea doesn’t pay much attention to our struggles, so we have to fend for ourselves. This,” Lilya gently took the box from Aquamarine and turned it so that she could see the tiara properly. “This is indeed a kingly gift. This will save lives. There is no more noble a gift as that.” She bowed her head and handed the box back gingerly. “If his Majesty would not be pleased with my conduct, I understand, but I would hope he would see the sense in my actions.”

Aquamarine laughed a little. “I do not think his Majesty will be displeased. Quite the opposite. Even still,” Aquamarine set the box down on the table and carefully pried a dangling jewel from the very center, threading it through a silver chain she had worn around her own neck, and placed it on Lilya. “His Majesty will want confirmation that his gift was received. This will suffice.”

“Then I shall wear it to the marriage interview,” Lilya said, patting it fondly.

Aquamarine’s head cocked back in surprise. “I had not even had the chance to ask you, and yet you’re agreeing to go?”

“Well, yes,” Lilya said. “That’s why you’ve come to call on me, isn’t it?”

“Of course,” Aquamarine said with a smirk. “But usually it takes much more convincing on my part. I don’t believe I’ve ever met someone so… eager.”

“At the very least, I have to thank him for his generosity,” Lilya said. “Even if he decides I’m not a good match for him, I have to express my gratitude in person.”

“You’re not scared? I’m certain you’ve heard the rumors about my Lord King.”

“Well… yes,” Lilya admitted. “I won’t lie and say I’m not apprehensive, but kindness like this can’t go unacknowledged. It’s only right that I meet with him.”

Where Aquamarine’s smile had been playful and mischievous before, it was now wide and warm. “I will happily go now and inform his Majesty of your decision. My sisters and I will return in a fortnight to collect you for your interview. You may bring a guest with you, if you wish, though I assure you that you’ll be quite safe in our care.”

“I have no doubt that’s true,” Lilya said, bowing. “Would you like some refreshments to take with you on your trip back?”

“How kind of you, dear, but that won’t be necessary,” Aquamarine said, patting Lilya’s cheek. “We shall return in two weeks. You make sure you take care now. Our Lord King would be much distressed should something happen to you in the meantime.”

Aquamarine snapped her fingers, and there was a flash of light from which everyone in the room had to shield their eyes. When they blinked, the young woman was gone.

“Witch...” Sebastian said in horror. “My Lady, you can’t meet with this monster! What kind of king employs such demons?”

“Likely someone who understands that people like them also need to earn a living, I’d imagine,” Lilya said reasonably. “Besides, I’ve already agreed and accept his gift. I can’t go back on my word.”

“I can’t believe you’d actually sell such a treasure,” Your aunt said disapprovingly. “You’re so like your father.”

She didn’t mean that in a good way. Lilya’s mother’s sister, Kiya, had always disliked her father and resented him for being too weak a king, unable to protect his people during the war. She had also resented Lilya ever since she had been born. There was worry that Sophie would not be able to carry another child at her age, and that the royal line would end as there would be no male heir to Tritsia.

The birth of Lilya’s little brother shortly before her father’s death was not enough to warm Kiya to Lilya. In fact, it seemed to drive the wedge even further, as Sophie and her brother were both terribly weak afterward and there was concern they wouldn’t survive. Kiya had gone so far as to blame Lilya, telling her that it would have been her fault if they died. As a nine year old, she couldn’t imagine what she’d have done to cause such a terrible thing, but now she understood it was just her aunt lashing out.

Perhaps it was because Lilya resembled her father the most out of all her siblings, or because she was most like him in temperament, but she doubted Kiya would ever view her favorably. She was still family, though, and Lilya tried not to take her criticism to heart, though her aunt’s cutting eyes often wore into her painfully.

“I’m doing this for our country, even if it no longer exists,” Lilya said, determinedly putting the box away in a case so that Sebastian could take it to the neighboring kingdom for appraisal. “The king has called for me. The least I can do is answer.”

“Lilya’s right, Kiya,” Lilya’s mother, Sophie, said reluctantly. “It would be improper for us to take his gift and ignore him. Though I can’t say that I’m pleased with the idea of this.” Sophie sighed unhappily. “Lilya would have been expected to marry soon as it is. I supposed we couldn’t hope for better than a king.” Sophie took her daughter’s hands in her own. “Still, I’m very worried. I should come with you.”

“No, Mama, they need you here. You’ll have to be the one to make sure that the tiara gets a fair price and oversee the distribution of the food to the needy. I’ll be fine on my own, and besides, Aquamarine said that she and her sisters were part of the Queen’s guard, and I liked her very much. I couldn’t be any safer.”

Lilya’s mother grimaced. “That doesn’t make me feel better. You have many lovely qualities, my sweet child, but being a good judge of character is not among them. All anyone needs to do is tell you a sad story for you to want to take them under your wing, regardless of their true intentions.” She smiled fondly. “You’re much like your father in that respect.”

Lilya smiled in return. “Father was not a good king,” She said sadly. “But he was a good man.”

“With that, I cannot argue,” Sophie said, but she frowned in distress. “You’re elder sisters had married before they got the summons, so I’ve never met with the king. Your father met with him only once, during a conference of kings, but he never told us anything about him other than he found him to be… striking. I think he didn’t tell us more because he want to frighten us.”

“Have you heard much about him?” Lilya asked anxiously.

“Reports are varied and hard to believe; that the king is a headless monster, thousands of years old, ten feet tall, winged and hulking, who eats the women who refused him. I’m not sure I believed any of that, but the rumors are still enough to make me trepidatious.”

Sebastian grumbled, his mustache shuddering. “It is the rumors that could be true that make me uneasy.”

“How do you mean?”

“I am an old man now,” Sebastian said. “Well into my seventies, so I remember when the interviews began sixty years ago. In all that time, and no queen of Banfarie has been chosen. It concerns me. The king himself may now be an old man.”

“Is that why he’s being turned down?” Lilya asked.

“No, young madam,” He said. “You see, even before the interviews began, Banfarie had no queen in nearly one hundred years. In fact, since that time, no new kings had been crowned, either. The king from one hundred years ago was an elusive man who few had ever met, and those who did were terrified of him. If the current king is that man’s successor, it’s certainly distressing. But if he is the same man, then he is a creature of deeply evil magic, and Lady Lilya should stay far away from him.”

“Even if he were the same man, which should be impossible, his reputation is less than ideal,” Sophie said pensively. “The house of Banfarie is known historically for it’s cruelty and harsh punishments, even of neighboring kingdoms. It instituted a law that allowed Banfarie to make judgments on the conduct of royals, indict them criminally, and even sentence retribution against them, up to and including execution. The neighboring kingdoms pushed back against this, of course, but eventually they all fell in line and wrote it into their countries’ laws. I don’t trust any man who could wield that level of power over others.”

“But think of what that level of influence could do for Tritsia!” Kiya said. “A king with that kind of power could protect us and provide for us!”

Sophie shivered. “I don’t want to know what he would want in return for that protection.”

“Well, I would think that’s be obvious,” Kiya said, looking pointedly at Lilya.

Sophie, normally a mild, even-tempered woman, grew angry. “And you’re alright with that, are you? You’re willing to sell my youngest daughter to a monster if it benefits you?”

“Sophie, don’t be sentimental,” Kiya said, folding her arms. “Political marriages are common for royalty. If we had been a stronger country, this would be completely normal, even for a third daughter.”

“We’re not royalty anymore,” Sophie said firmly.

“But we could be, that’s the point!”

“Please, don’t fight,” Lilya said, getting between the two sisters. “I’ve already made the decision. Kiya is right; if I were to marry His Majesty of Banfarie, our kingdom would then be his responsibility rather than that of Couliea. However he treats that responsibility, it can’t be worse than the wanton destruction from the war or the indifferent cruelty of Couliea. If he accepts me, even if it is only a political marriage and nothing more, it would greatly benefit us both. He would at last gain the queen he’s been searching for and our country will be protected. I will meet him. Perhaps the rumors are wrong.”

“I can only hope,” Sophie remarked grimly. After throwing an angry look at her sister, she pulled Lilya away from Kiya and spoke in an undertone. “But… is this what you really want?”

“I want my family and people safe and well above all,” Lilya said. “If this king can offer that, then I can ask for nothing more.”

“If this is what you wish,” Her mother said slowly. “Then I will respect it. But… it is not what I would wish for you.”

“I know, Mama,” Lilia said. “We don’t always get what we truly wish for. But this is as close as I can get.”

“If the king accepts you,” Lilya’s mother remarked sadly. “We may never see you again.”

“That may not be true. I would hope that his Majesty wouldn’t prevent me from seeing my family once I settle in.”

“Just be careful, my love,” Her mother said, pulling her into a hug. “Be careful.”

As promised, Aquamarine returned in a fortnight to collect Lilya to take her to the capitol of Banfarie, Rukruf. A carriage had come with them for Lilya’s comfort.

“Couldn’t you transport me like you did the day you first came?”

“I’m afraid that’s a rather disorienting way to travel for humans, My Lady,” Aquamarine said, taking Lilya’s luggage. “It would require some degree of acclamation, and I don’t think his Majesty would want you to be sick during your interview.” She lifted Lilya’s bag up with one hand. “Is this all you’re bringing with you?”

“This is all I have,” Lilya replied simply. “You admit that you’re not human?”

“I was never attempting to hide it. I’m a spirit, specifically an stone spirit, as are my sisters. There they are now.”

She jerked her head toward the carriage. There were two more women identical to Aquamarine near the carriage, one in the driver’s box and another holding open the door to the carriage. All three women had short, pale lavender colored hair and large, glittering eyes. They wore identical uniforms similar to that of an attendant, but the skirts were rather short, stopping just below the knee, giving them a freer rang of movement. Each one had a dagger hanging from their hip.

Both new sisters bowed deeply as Lilya approached.

“My lady,” They said in unison.

“Garnet,” Aquamarine said, pointing to the driver,and then to the coach-woman. “And Peridot.”

“I don’t doubt the three of you are sisters; I can’t tell you apart,” Lilya said.

“Ah, but see?” Peridot said, pointing to a white bow on the right side of her hair in the shape of a butterfly. She then pointed to Garnet, who wore a black butterfly bow on her left side, and to Aquamarine, who wore no bow at all. “Even people who know us well have trouble distinguishing us from the other, so we’ve taken to wearing these. Only his Majesty can tell us apart without them.”

“Here, my Lady,” Peridot said, swinging a beautiful, fur-lined, snow-white cloak around Lilya’s shoulders. “We’ll be going through the mountains and it’s likely to get cold. His Majesty had this made for you.”

“Oh, it’s lovely,” Lilya said, petting the soft, veltvety collar that ruffed around her neck. “I’m starting to get anxious about meeting him.”

“In a good way or a bad way?” Peridot asked ash she helped Lilya up into the carriage.

“I can’t tell,” Lilya replied, laughing nervously.

“Don’t be nervous,” Peridot said as she came in and closed the door behind her, rapping sharply on the roof before settling. “His Majesty is only a threat to humans.”

Lilya looked at Peridot in alarm.

“It was a joke,” Peridot assured her, giggling. “…mostly.”

The carriage lurched forward and Aquamarine put a hand out to steady Lilya before she fell out of her seat.

“When will we arrive?”

“Around sunset tomorrow,” Aquamarine replied. “We’ll continue on through the night rather than stop at an inn. His Majesty is eager to meet you.”

“Won’t you be tired?” Lilya asked.

“Not to worry,” Aquamarine said. “Spirits like us don’t need much sleep, only a few hours a week. We’re all rested up.”

“That’s amazing. I wish I could do that.”

“Yes, it is awfully handy,” Peridot said rather smugly. “Are you hungry? We’ve brought things for you to eat.”

The two days passed pleasantly and Lilya spent the time having long, friendly conversations with all three sisters. Lilya had never had lady friends her age, and though the women were spirits and likely far older than she was, they seemed to enjoy her company and asked her many questions.

“Oh, Lady, come and see!” Garnet said, pointing out of the window. “You can see the capitol city from this vantage!”

Delighted, Lilya looked out of the window where Garnet was pointing. “It’s huge!” She exclaimed. “I can’t even see the end of it! It must be as large as my entire country!”

“Your country is larger by about fifty miles, in fact,” Aquamarine said. “It’s the smallest country on the continent.”

“Yes, that sounds right,” She sighed. “I mean, I didn’t know that for sure, but I’m not surprised.”

“Are you sad to be from such a small country?”

“No,” She replied. “My country is beautiful and my people are good. I just wish we were better able to defend ourselves.”

“Well, you may not have that problem anymore,” Aquamarine said. “We’re nearly there.”

“Will I meet his Majesty today?”

“No, you will be tired from the trip and will rest for tonight. He will conduct your interview tomorrow after you have your breakfast. His Majesty has instructed us to see to your every comfort.”

“That’s just going to make me more anxious,” Lilya said.

“The best things are worth waiting for,” Peridot said.

That evening, they arrived at the castle, which was every bit as colossal as described. Over it was a cloud of purple, blue, and pink particles, as if it were perpetual sunset over the castle.

“What is that?”

“It’s called the Aurora,” Garnet said. “It’s a magical field that has existed over the castle for hundreds of years and is the source of the royal family’s magical power. It ascends and descends over the castle, depending on how the king feels. It’s highly reactive to his emotional state.”

“Oh, goodness,” Lilya said. “It’s rather low right now. What does that mean?”

“Hmm…” Garnet said. “I believe he may be feeling rather withdrawn.”

“I wonder why that would be,” Lilya mused.

Standing at the front steps of the castle as they pulled up were two young men in uniform, one blond and one dark haired. The blond wore glasses and seemed to be the junior of the two. They bowed as Lilya exited the carriage.

“Miss Lilya, these are the King’s personal attendants, Larima,” She gestured at the dark haired one first, and then to the blond. “And Raba. They are meeting you in place of his Majesty today.”

“Does that mean his Majesty is watching?” Lilya asked, looking up at the windows.

“Whether he is or is not,” Larima said as he straightened. “We are pleased to meet you, My Lady. Please allow us to show you to your room.”

“Yes, thank you,” Lilya replied. Curiously, she noticed as they turned that there appeared to be leaves growing out of their hair.

The sisters were following behind her at a short distance. “Are they spirits, too?” Lilya asked them in an undertone.

“Yes,” Peridot said. “They’re tree spirits. All of the staff employed at his Majesty’s main castle are not human.”

“Why?”

“His Majesty distrusts humans,” Aquamarine replied.

“But isn’t his Majesty human?” Lilya asked in confusion.

“Yes,” Peridot responded.

“And no,” Garnet said.

Lilya made a noise of uncertainty under her breath.

“Don’t worry, my Lady,” Garnet said. “You’ll understand tomorrow.”

“This is all very ominous,” Lilya said uncertainly.

“Yes!” Peridot said. “Isn’t it exciting?”

Before she could answer, she was lead to an opulent guestroom, far larger than any of the rooms in her home, filled with luxurious furniture and carefully crafted decorations.

“This can’t be my room,” Lilya said with a laugh. “What would I do with all this space?”

Raba and Larima exchanged looks. “Do you dislike it? We have a number of other rooms. You’re free to choose any one of them.”

“Oh, it’s not like that,” Lilya said hastily. “It’s beautiful, I adore it. Please, it’s not that I’m ungrateful, I just feel like… I don’t know… isn’t it wasted on me?”

The triplets sighed sadly, having become used to Lilya’s unusual behavior, but the men continued to look confused.

“You do realize that if his Majesty chooses you and you accept, you’ll be queen?” Raba asked. “This,” He gestured at the room. “Is nothing compared to the queen’s suite.”

“Oh…” Lilya replied, a little disconcerted. “This will take some getting used to.”

“I understand,” Larima said. “You’re the princess from Tritsia, correct? The smallest, poorest kingdom on the continent, now a captured vassal state of Couliea. I suppose you must not be accustomed to living so resplendently.”

“Larima!” Aquamarine hissed. “Don’t be so tactless!”

Lilya laughed a little, relieved. “No, it’s alright. I’m not used to this at all, that’s true. Will that bother his Majesty?”

Larima smiled and shook his head. “No, I shouldn’t think so. Don’t worry so much about what’s appropriate and just enjoy your time here. Come.” He lead Lilya inside and showed her two cords right next to the bed, a small blue cord and a larger red cord. “The blue cord is attached to a bell in the queen’s attendants’ quarters. If you need for anything, just ring it and one of the triplets will be here in an instant. The red one is an alarm. If you pull it, bells will go off all throughout the castle. Ring it only if it’s an emergency.”

“I understand,” Lilya said. “Thank you for your hospitality.”

Raba and Larima bowed and left, and the triplets ushered Lilya into an adjacent dining room to have dinner.

After a restless night of sleep and a breakfast she barely touched, Lilya was dressed in a lovely blue gown that complimented her hair, which was pulled back with matching ribbons. The bodice was tight but comfortable, the cut of the dress was simple but elegant, and for the first time, Lilya felt like a proper grown woman.

A knock on the door revealed Raba.

“His Majesty is ready for you and is waiting in his office,” He said.

Lilya stood and clenched her hands to stop them from shaking and followed Raba out of her quarters with Garnet and Aquamarine following behind her.

“Don’t worry, my Lady,” Garnet said. “I think the king will like you very much.”

“You do?”

“Oh yes,” Aquamarine replied. “We’re more concerned whether or not you’ll like him.”

“Why wouldn’t I like him?” She asked.

“Well…” Garnet began regretfully, but then stopped.

“Here we are,” Raba said, gesturing to a set of large double doors. “One moment please.” Raba knocked on the door. “Your Majesty, I have retrieved Lady Lilya for her interview. Are you ready?”

There was silence, though Raba tilted his head as if he were listening.

“Yes, Your Majesty.” Raba opened one of the doors and stood aside. “You may enter.”

Gulping, checking that the pendant was in place, and taking a deep breath, Lilya stepped inside.

There, standing rail-straight behind a desk, was a tall, thin man wearing elaborate garments in keeping with his status as a king and emperor, as well as a sash and badges of his station. Almost immediately, one of the many rumors about the king was confirmed with Lilya’s own eyes.

His Imperial Majesty, the king of Banfarie, had no head.

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My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

#Boukyaki no Shirushi to Hime #The Princess and the Forgotten Head #Manga #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Manga Fanfic #Manga Fanfiction #Exophilia #Headless King

[mrsalwayswrite]

The Prospective Bride (Finan x Reader)

Guys...I’m going to admit. I had entirely too much fun writing this. I hope y’all also like it. 

Can be read as reader or OFC. 

Warnings: Some swearing...I think that’s it.

Words: 4k 

Tag list: @happyveday​ @evelynshelby​

  "Uhtred! There you are! Uhtred!"

 "What does he want now?" Uhtred groaned, rubbing a hand over his eyes. 

 Finan shrugged, his own ire rising at the man's childish and shrill voice. "How much trouble ya think I'd be in if I stabbed him?"

 "Alfred may reward you…. save him the headache."

 They chuckled darkly as Aethelwold dropped onto the bench next to Finan at the alehouse. The two friends had been sitting happily and nursing cups of ale, waiting for the meeting with the king to begin. 

 "Did you hear the news?!" 

 "That ya're a turd?" Finan mocked.  

 "What?" Aethelwold glared at Finan then turned back to Uhtred. "No...no! Alfred in all his godly wisdom has seen fit to permit me more authority and responsibility…."

 "That's what you wanted." Uhtred interrupted, looking like he wanted to be just about anywhere but here at this moment.  

 "Yes, but...BUT, first I must marry."

 Finan snorted in his drink. "Poor lass."

 "Poor...poor lass?" Aethelwold sputtered, gaze darting back and forth between the two, "I... I have no intentions nor interest in marriage. Alfred will certainly find me a woman who is a harpy and will slowly suck my soul and purse dry...then, then! he won't have to kill me. Oh no, I will certainly wither away because of her."

 "Ya don't know that." Finan waved to the barmaid who brought over another cup of ale for all three at the table. 

 Aethelwold gladly took the cup, still sulking and bemoaning. "It is Alfred! He will make a mockery of me and this will be his way of reminding me of my place.  Mark my words."

 "If you say so." Uhtred rolled his eyes. "Do you know who this harpy is?"

 "No, well yes. I will. In three days. Her father is a wealthy lord of East Angelia. Alfred wishes to open up trade with him specifically. He hopes this trade will better relations between Wessex and East Angelia, to unite us all. To further this, he wishes to broker a marriage to this lord's daughter with myself. To show I am willing to do my duty for Wessex." Aethelwold finished sarcastically then promptly drained his cup of ale in one go. 

 "This may be good for you. Perhaps she is beautiful and you will want to hump only her." Uhtred tried to reason but to no avail. 

 "Oh, all the whores in Wintanceaster will wail at the loss of my coin and cock then." He rose to his feet. "I must leave you now. I must make sure I have a clean tunic to meet my prospective wife."

 The two watched the king's nephew strut away, then get distracted by a whore leaning out of a nearby doorway. 

 Finan turned back to his lord and friend. "That poor lass…Alfred would not really do that, would he?"

 Uhtred shrugged. "If it was for the good of Wessex, he would."

 Finan shook his head. He hoped Alfred knew what he was doing, what he could potentially subject some pious, sheltered girl too. Aethelwold would not be a good husband. Finan took another sip of his ale, listening to the sounds of the bustling city around him. A part of him was curious about the girl. If he was lucky, he hoped to see her before having to listen to that pig's arse lament anymore about marriage. That bastard would be lucky if any woman ever chose to willingly marry him. 

 *****

 I stood to my father's side as he greeted the king of Wessex. We had arrived last night, directed towards an inn where we were able to rest and refresh ourselves so we could meet King Alfred this morning. 

 Having left the guards who traveled with us back at the inn, it was only my father, myself and the two advisors standing in the throne room. The greetings had been formal between our two parties. I spoke not a word, my father introducing me as I gave a polite incline of my head. Here I was to keep up the appearance of a proper lord's daughter, something beautiful to look at that knows how to keep silent. What most did not know was the intelligent mind kept hidden behind my pretty face...and that was to my father's benefit. Especially with conducting trade, no one suspected me of gathering intel and information to relay back to him. 

 This was not the first time we had used these roles.

 "Now that pleasantries are done, shall we proceed to discussing business? Perhaps in my study with some refreshments? " Alfred said, hands clasped in front of him.

 "Certainly," my father nodded. With a quick glance at me, my father looked back at the king. "Perhaps while we are talking business, my daughter may tour your fair city...with a guard of course."

 "I thought she could join my wife in prayer."

 I fervently suppressed a snort. 

 "Later, when the heat of the day is greatest. We did not get to see much of the city as we arrived late last night. A walk would do her good, as she has not much experience in the world. Seeing a great city of God as yours is would be a blessing to her." 

 Alfred had met his match with my father. Both were clever men who used words to manipulate to obtain the result they desired. I almost wished I could stay and watch their verbal sparring; it would be most entertaining...but I had a duty to do. My father would want to hear of my thoughts of the city and its people...and the king's nephew.  

 "I see. Said that way I can certainly not refuse." Alfred waved a hand to his side. "Aethelwold will escort her. He was born and raised here and has knowledge of the area. I shall send Steapa as extra protection although it is unnecessary."

 "I thank you but I would ask that Steapa remains so we may garner his insight on trade routes and guards needed for them. I have heard of your man, Uhtred. That he is a great warrior. If he is here, I would prefer him and his men to guard my daughter for she is my greatest joy...but do not tell her mother I said that. She may become envious."

 Alfred momentarily looked like he sucked on a lemon. With obvious reluctance he agreed. "Uhtred," he called, looking past us, over towards the back of the room, "you and your man will guard the lady and Aethelwold. You will do your utmost to be good representations of Wessex and all we hold dear."

 "Yes, lord." Came from the back. 

 My father reached over and pressed a fatherly kiss to my forehead before whispering in my ear, "You know what to do. Be good."

 "Am I not always?"

 He chuckled; he was just as mischievous than I was. My mother claimed if I had been born male, I would have been a duplicate of my father. Quickly he swept out of the room with King Alfred, Steapa and several other advisors and priests. The doors shut behind them with a resounding bang. 

 "My lady."

 I turned to see a man with a round, boyish face and haircut that looked like he tried to do it himself. So, this was the man Alfred wanted to betroth me to. He looked like I could poke him in the eye and he would run away crying for his mother. 

 "I am Aethelwold, it is my greatest honor to meet you." He bowed slightly and grasped my hand, giving it a quick, sloppy kiss on the back of it. "Shall we?"

 Following slightly behind him, I could already see that all the rumors and stories I had heard about him were true. I had hoped they were an exaggeration. Luckily I knew my father would never force me to marry a pompous twat like him. This whole meeting was for show and for me to gather an impression of Wessex outside of Alfred for my father. I just had to play along for now. I wondered how many times I would need to remind myself of that while in Aethelwold's company. 

 Once outside, the sun felt delightful on my face. I could not help but look up and breathe in its warmth. Why ever would ladies willingly stay inside to pray or sew or gossip was beyond my understanding.  There were far more interesting things to do. It was once we stepped outside of the palace that I took notice of our shadows. 

 Turning around I glanced at the two men, both in some armor and with weapons on them. One had long hair with a thin beard, vibrant blue eyes and a sword strapped to his back. Between his looks and his clothing, he looked almost like a Dane. I guessed this must be the infamous Uhtred. The other one had a thick, full beard, dark eyes with laugh lines around them, a sword hanging off his hip and a cross that hung from his neck. Interesting. 

 "You are Uhtred, yes? The savior of Wessex and all Saxons?" I asked teasingly. I had heard so many stories of the man from my father's side. Were they all true though? It was easy for rumors and stories to be exaggerated and the hero to be no more than a wood-mouse even if the stories painted him as a dragon. Although looking at him, I would suspect the dragon. 

 He smirked, eyeing me. "Perhaps. Though Alfred would say it was his God that saved Wessex."

 "Yet it is you who wields the sword." I shrugged, turning my gaze to his companion, who was watching us with unrestrained amusement. "And who are you?"

 "I am Finan, my lady."

 An Irishman? I certainly had not expected that. Nor the way his gaze and accent put a warmth in my belly. 

 "It is a pleasure to meet you both."

 "Yes, yes, they are guarding us so they are to walk behind us silently!" Aethelwold stressed the last word, giving a glare to both. He placed a hand lightly on my lower back, redirecting me down the steps of the palace and into the bustling city. 

 I caught an eye roll from Uhtred as Aethelwold spoke, not that I could blame him. It was when I met Finan's eyes and he winked at me...oh this was going to be fun. 

 Normally I would slap away the hand of any man who thought they could corral or control me. For now, I allowed Aethelwold to keep a guiding hand on my lower back, more to see what he would do and to witness people's reactions. It did not escape my notice the further we walked, the lower his hand slowly slipped. 

 We walked by the palace and some shops, our walk casual and relaxed. I listened to Aethelwold ramble on about this or that, keeping my eyes and ears open to our surroundings. What I had seen so far of the capital of Wessex impressed me. There was certainly wealth here, far more than in Mercia. This would be a good place to commence trade for my father. 

 It was also at this point that Aethelwold's hand had slipped down to the point where his fingers were caressing the top of my arse with each movement. I gritted my teeth at the feeling and at how unaffected he seemed by it. This was unseemingly in public, let alone how to treat a lord's daughter. If this was his standard of respect for a lord's daughter in public, I shivered at the thought of how he would treat his wife. Clearly a woman was only something to hump and amuse him. 

 If he thought that idea included me...he was very wrong. 

 "What is in that direction?"

 Aethelwold looked to where I pointed. "Ah, just a short cut towards the blacksmith's. He prefers to have his shop on the outskirts of the city."

 "I would like to see it."

 "Why? There is nothing of interest for a lady as yourself."

 Oh?

 "Nevertheless, I would like to go."

 "If you insist." He forced a smile and guided me towards the alley that served as a shortcut. 

 It was when we were about a third of the way that I stopped. I could see some people walking past the alley but no one was paying attention to the four persons now stopped. A row of buildings was to our left, the back facing us. On our other side was a small coop with chickens and an overly eager rooster, who had no qualms making his presence known. Otherwise, we were alone.

 "My lady, is someth…"

 I ignored Aethelwold. Abruptly I sidestepped away from him so his hand was no longer touching me. His touch had become more and more repulsive as we walked. Rounding on our two shadows, I focused on Uhtred first. 

 Their quiet commentary had not gone unnoticed by me but Aethelwold pointedly ignored them as he continued to give me the "tour". 

 "Are you Alfred's man?"

 Uhtred crossed his arms over his chest. "What do you mean, my lady?"

 "Is this necessary?" Aethelwold tried to put his hand on me again but I smacked it away, still ignoring him otherwise. 

 "Do you report everything you see and do to Alfred? Are you his man or do you just follow his orders to fulfill your oath?"

 He raised an eyebrow, clearly unsure but curious where I was going with this. "I am not Steapa if that is what you ask."

 I nodded then turned my gaze to Finan. "And you, Irishman?"

 "I just do what my Lord Uhtred says." He chuckled, a gleam of mischief in his eyes as he met mine. 

 "Good." I smiled brightly at them, putting all my charm in and batting my lashes for fun. "I would hate to get in trouble. My father would be ever so disappointed in me."

 "What are you...oh!" Aethelwold started but his words cut off when I roughly shoved him against the back of one of the buildings. He stumbled, not expecting the force and slammed against the wood. 

 As he stumbled, I prowled after him, a snarl on my face. In a well-practiced move, I bent and pulled the dagger out of its sheath I always kept strapped to my lower leg and tucked just slightly into my boot. In an instant, it was in my hand and pressed firmly just between his legs. If his cock twitched, he would feel the edge of my blade. My other hand grabbed his jaw so his focus could only be on me. 

 "Let us get something straight. You try and touch me again; I will turn you into a eunuch. You keep your hands and any ideas of your cock to yourself. Got it?" 

 "Ah, yes. Of course, my apologies, I just...ah, ah, AH!" He paled even further when I moved the blade slightly. 

 "One more thing. You are a piece of shit. I will never marry you, nor will anyone force me to. And if by some miracle, it is arranged. Know this. On our wedding night, I will kill you before you even think about touching me. I am only here to open negotiations between my father and King Alfred. Nothing more. Now…" I slowly dragged the dagger up his torso to land at the base of his throat. "We can continue the tour with a better understanding of one another, yes?"

 "Yes?" He squeaked out. 

 "Good. We will be seeing much of one another the next few days. It shall be fun." I giggled, stepping away from him. A quick glance behind me showed Uhtred with a hand over his mouth, desperately trying to suppress laughter. Finan on the other hand had the biggest grin on his face and a starstruck look in his eyes. 

 I sent him a quick wink, finding myself enjoying that look in his dark eyes. 

 Done threatening my prospective husband, I knelt to replace the dagger in its sheath. Although I always carried it on my person and I knew how to use it well; only a few knew of it and I liked to keep it that way. 

 As I started to rise, a hand came into view. Finan stood before me with his hand out. Quickly I accepted and allowed him to help me to my feet, even if it was unnecessary. His hand felt too good holding mine, the roughness I knew to only come from swordplay, the hand of a warrior. He squeezed my hand slightly before letting go. 

 "Do you know the way to the blacksmith's?"

 "I do."

 "Excellent." I wrapped my arm through his, placing my hand on his forearm. "Will you escort me? I am in desperate need of a new dagger and would like to see what Wessex has to offer."

 That slow, lazy smile I was growing quite fond of spread on his face, dark eyes alight. "Aye, we would not want ya in lack, now would we?"

 "Lord Uhtred, do you believe Wessex will be in greater need of grain and iron this year? I hear King Alfred is continuing to build more burhs due to increased raids in Mercia."

 He answered my question from just behind me. "I suspect, my lady. Although East Angelia needs to remain vigilant in their own defenses."

 "Certainly. King Aethelstan is no fool. Even if he prefers to use priests instead of swords as of late."

 As we walked, we discussed trade and the Danes. Both were impressed with my knowledge and insight, to which I explained that I was my father's only child. He raised me as if I was a son because to him, I am his heir. 

 And if I happened to enjoy the feeling of strong muscles under my hand and warm breath dancing over my skin whenever dark eyes met mine...who could blame me? His Irish accent may also have something to do with my slowly decreasing proximity and increased flirtation. 

 The visit to the blacksmith was entertaining. Uhtred, Finan and myself along with the blacksmith, Aldwin, spoke easily of weapons. In the end, I chose a lovely dagger with a promise to come retrieve and pay for it this evening.

 The whole time Aethelwold grumbled just off to the side, looking like a petulant child. 

 "What will happen when you marry?" Uhtred asked as we walked lazily back in the direction of the palace. 

 "My father will never allow me to marry a fool for his lands, tenants and trade are important to him. He would want someone who is a good lord to replace him."

 "Will that not be ya?" Finan asked. 

 "Yes, unless I marry. Even then I still plan on being involved in everything. I am not one to sit idly by." I paused, smirking to myself as I looked around. "Perhaps I should not bother with marriage at all. The only thing I need is an heir of my own. I could take a lover, become with child and that would solve the problem."

 "I suspect many men will be disappointed when they hear that. I for one think the idea holds merit." Finan held my gaze and with that smirk that spoke of trouble.

 I stopped, turning to face him slightly. "Mmm? Is that your way of volunteering to be my lover?"

 "If the position is open…" He leaned down, his lips ghosting faintly over the rim of my ear. "I promise to make it worth ya time."

 That touch sent a fire burning in my veins and when I caught his eyes, I thought I could see the same desire reflected. "I would hate to be disappointed." I purred, running a finger slowly down his chest. 

 Uhtred coughed loudly from behind us. 

 My cheeks warmed at the reminder we were in public. For a brief moment all I could see and hear was him...and how much I wanted to see if those lips tasted as good as they looked.

 Up ahead I could see Lady Aelswith standing on the top of the steps with a priest on either side of her. Her hands clasped in front of her, eyes scanning the crowd intently. 

 I groaned, earning a chuckle from the warriors. I had hoped she would leave me alone but clearly, she thought I was in desperate need of prayer. After spending time with Finan, my imagination certainly could do with a cleansing.

 "Thank you for escorting me today." 

 "It was our pleasure." Uhtred said. 

 Instead of saying anything, Finan lifted my hand to his lips. His eyes remained glued to mine as his lips touched my skin. It should be illegal how a simple kiss on the hand could feel so erotic. Unable to help myself, my thumb stroked his bottom lip before he could release me. 

 Aelswith finally noticed me and called my name loudly. If the pinched look on her face said anything, she was not pleased to see me walking so comfortably with Lord Uhtred and his man. 

 I smiled at both warriors, taking a step back. I glanced over to the side to see the still sulking Aethelwold.  "Pleasure to meet you. It was most...informative." Spinning on my heel, I started towards the queen not even bothering to hear Aethelwold's response.

 I knew my father planned on being here for a few days before returning home. I could only hope during the upcoming days I would be able to see more of Lord Uhtred and his man. 

 Especially his man. 

 I might need to bathe in holy water when we returned home. 

 *****

 "I think I'm in love." Finan murmured to himself, watching her hips sway as she walked away. 

 "I do not think I have ever been so insulted in my life." Aethelwold grumbled, coming to stand on Uhtred's other side. "Harpy. As I said. She may have an attractive appearance but still a harpy. Although, it would be fun to bed her. I bet she rides well."

 Finan rounded on the smaller man. "Say another word and I'll gut ya like a fish."

 "Ooo...so protective. The way you two were practically eye-fucking, I would say…"

 Uhtred wisely grabbed the front of Aethelwold's tunic and shoved him a step back. "You will say no more or I will let him gut you. How dare you put your hands on her like you did earlier!" 

 "I….it was nothing. Just a bit of fun."

 "Can I gut him now, lord?"

 Uhtred sighed and released the king's nephew. "He is not worth the effort. Let us go, Finan."

 The Irishman fell into step with his friend. If he heard one more degrading word out of the pig's arse, his restraint would vanish. 

 "I do agree with one thing that Aethelwold said." Uhtred suddenly said after they walked a few minutes. 

 "What was that?"

 "You were quite taken with her."

 Finan laughed, grabbing the neckline of his tunic. "Aye, I don't deny it. She…I have never met a woman like her before. When she grabbed the turd and stuck her dagger between his legs…"

 "I am surprised he did not piss himself." Uhtred chuckled. "Yet I must warn you of something."

 Finan looked over at the sudden serious tone. "What?"

 "If she does take you as a lover, be careful." Then the cocky bastard had a shit-eating grin. "I would hate to see her damage you. I still have need of you."

 Finan threw his head back laughing as he slapped Uhtred on the shoulder. They headed towards the Inn to hopefully find Sihtric and Osferth.  

 As they walked Finan could not get the memory of her on his arm and smiling out of his head. Nor how her touch and heated gaze made him want to pleasure her in every way. He prayed he would get to see and speak with her again. Perhaps he could further convince her to allow him to be her lover, for he would surely be hers and only hers without question. 

#The Last Kingdom #the last kingdom fandom #the last kingdom fanfic #finan the last kingdom #finan x reader #finan x ofc #finan the agile #uhtred ragnarson #alfred the great #reader insert #flirting #mz writes

[pissfizz]

MY LOVE MY DARLING MY DEAR MY SWEETHEART MY EVERYTHING HI HI HI

let me know how your day went!! i hope it was good. tell me about it :3

i am So tempted to rewatch re main to decide once and for all whether amiami deserves all this attention im giving him fjdkdjdhsh

HI MY LOVE!!!

So my day certainly was….something. My first period Spanish teacher didn’t show up and so while we were waiting outside the principal came and made us sit in the cafeteria until second period because we didn’t have a sub (the other classes did tho). Suddenly I get a notification that our teacher posted an announcement to our google classroom and I open it and he PUT A FUCKING TIKTOK LINK. so I open it and he has three videos, the first one was telling us how he needs to get tested for covid and the others were about assignments to do today. Alas not everyone knew about it, we didn’t have the sub like he thought, we were not in his classroom like he thought, and we did not have any materials jshdhdhdjd

My second period is across the entire campus and I have to sit in between two of the most talkative best friends ever. The whole class is crowded and all the loud bad kids. This holds true for almost every single one of my classes.

Third period is English and my sister warned me about how strict the teacher was but she was actually oddly chill about stuff?? Idk it was weird. There’s a girl with the same haircut as me and super cute clothes in that class, she’s new. Unfortunately my assigned seat is away from the only tolerable person in the class :((

I have first lunch which is pretty early, at like 10:40 or smth? I sat outside cuz the lunch room was crowded with a guy I borderline hate and his super nice girlfriend. I don’t know anyone else with my lunch period shdhdhdnd the lunch line was so long that my brother during his lunch period, when he got to the front of the line, lunch was already over. I didn’t eat cuz my family doesn’t have any food and I didn’t wanna spend all my time in line.

Now fourth period. Fourth fucking period. I have art class. And my teacher dear LORD he doesn’t stop talking. He told us four super long roundabout stories that didn’t relate to anything whatsoever. He did a “telepathic communication” thing with one of his students that actually worked and I don’t know how. We took attendance and sat there and listened to him talk for 65 minutes straight. We were supposed to do a drawing submission but we never got around to it cuz he. didn’t. Stop. Talking.

Fifth period was math and. Wow. I fucking HATE math but my teacher seems super nice. She’s got pride flags hanging all over her room, paintings she did herself, has blue and purple hair, would probably get along with my mom, and is oddly objectively attractive in a weird way. My class is SO LOUD I don’t think I’ll be able to focus and it’s got 31 kids in one of the smallest classrooms in the school. Also my teacher is half deaf.

Sixth period I was assigned a certain teacher only to discover he retired spontaneously and I have a different teacher now, whos not even here cuz she’s in Texas with her family. She lives in the same city as my dads aunt and father and shit. She’ll be coming here soon I think though. Nobody knew if we were in the right classroom or not. She’s one of the most proudly southern people I’ve seen besides my grandma. Also I don’t think she realizes she’s teaching a biology class, and not just elective agriculture. This class is also huge, with loud bad kids, in a small classroom.

Three people didn’t recognize me that I have known for years. One girl reintroduced herself to me and asked if I was new. Two dudes I’ve known for forever both didn’t realize it was me until attendance. I thought it was kinda funny.

Soooo yeah. Same kind of school as always, except extra overcrowded. I cant wait until next summer.

#asks #spicy my beloved #longish post

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

Hey i made the thing!

Bouncey’s Note: this is not vampire!Jaskier canon, but it is a rather interesting and very cool  headcanon written by @mynameisdoofthelizardandamspooky for that universe. 

I will be updating this au again pretty soon (along with Secrets of Midnight) so thank y’all for being so patient. I like to rotate through my aus and this one is particular favorite. 

Thank you for the submission and the fun ideas!! Hope everyone enjoys and sends a little love their way, too!

---

I can’t write romantic interactions for the life of me, but I tried my best for geraskier.

*BLOOD WARNING* *SERIOUSLY I MAY HAVE GONE OVERBOARD*

---

Geralt had been counting the days for almost a year now. It was his final year as Lord Jaskier’s “prisoner”. He did not wish to leave, but had put off discussing this with Jasker. Now it may be too late to alert the village to *not* send another soul. Besides, Lord Jaskier might not want him with the concept of new blood.

“What are you so concerned about, pet?”

Geralt looked over his shoulder. Once he might have been startled by his Lord’s sudden appearance, but he had become accustomed to it over the past years. “It- it has been almost ten years, Your Grace. And I-”

“Shit!” Lord Jaskier ducked away from the door, pulling a piece of parchment from the pile on his desk. He dipped his pen in the inkpot, and began scribbling. 

Geralt followed his Lord to the desk. “What are you writing, my Lord?”

Jaskier finished his note with a flourish. “Why, I am requesting that the alderman not send a sacrifice this year, as presumably you are staying, darling?”

“I- was thinking quite the same, my Lord, if you’ll have me.”

“Of course, pet. Though I should hope my note arrives in time, I suppose I should still be sure they have not set someone out.” Jaskier folded the note. “Now, I shall give this to one of my friends at nightfall, and hope it reaches the alderman’s hands in time.”

~

Two days later, Lord Jaskier donned his cloak as the sun set. “Though I hate to leave you, dear pet, I do not believe the potential sacrifice the village may have set out for me would appreciate a death by animal, should my note have been too late.”

Geralt reached out, pulling Jaskier back. “Be back soon, Your Grace.”

Jaskier smiled, the moon rising over the forest. “Of course, dear pet.” he planted a kiss to Geralt’s lips, then slipped away into the forest.

~

Lord Jaskier smelled the girl before he saw her. She stank of fear and blood. Her own blood, Jaskier could tell. Nobody and nothing else was near yet, so what had happened to her?

He slipped into the clearing. The girl was unconscious, hanging limp from the post where Geralt had hung all those years ago. She was covered in her own blood, and a gash on her head oozed down her face. The fire sat with just coals. 

Lord Jaskier untied the girl, lowering her to the earth. She was much younger than any the village had offered up to him previously, thirteen at most, and the scent of blood would soon attract wolves, now that the fire was out. 

“Are you awake, Miss?”

The girl’s eyes fluttered. They were unfocused, and one was stuck shut with blood. “Who are you? The monster?”

Lord Jaskier sighed. “I see alderman Olan has still disregarded the explanations requested of him. I am no more a monster than whoever did this to you.”

“Olan… bastard..” the girl lost consciousness again, slumping down.

Lord Jaskier lifted the girl, finding it much more difficult to carry an unconscious body than a conscious one. He dashed back through the forest, arriving back at the manor well before dawn. The wound on the girl’s head had been bleeding on and off, and she had not awoken again.

Geralt opened the door as he saw Lord Jaskier approaching, a limp body in his arms. “Who’s this, My Lord?”

“The supposed next ‘sacrifice’ for me. It would appear that the idiot Olan has decided to try and make her more ‘appealing’ by making her bleed profusely. Help me with her, would you?”

Geralt took the limp girl from the Viscount’s arms, carrying her to a couch. In the light of the fire, he could see the extent that she was covered in blood from various gashes all over her body.

Jaskier appeared behind him. “Not THAT couch darl- oh it’s too late now. Here.” He shoved a soaked cloth and bowl of water into Geralt’s hands. “Clean her up, would you dear?” he slipped back into the shadows, presumably to find bandages somewhere.

Geralt rolled up his sleeves, not that it would do much good for the garment at this point, and began to wipe blood from the girl’s head, as most of the other wounds seemed to have scabbed over already. There was one particularly horrid slice across her forehead and one side of her head, this being the one that was still oozing blood. He would have to cut her hair to get that one clean properly. 

Jaskier appeared beside him again, arms full of bandages. He pulled a second cloth from the pile and began cleaning the girl’s hair.

“My Lord, what are you doing?”

“Well I am quite sure we will need to cut some of it off, and having it NOT caked in blood seems a good idea to me.”

Geralt nodded, returning to his work on cleaning the girl’s face.

~

The sun rose as the vampire and human finished bandaging the girl. Now that she was not so covered in blood, she had ashy-blonde hair. She had not yet woken, which was probably a good thing, considering she would be in a lot of pain when she did. 

Now that the two had a break and a chance to actually look at each other, Lord Jaskier began to laugh. “You may have been only a butcher’s apprentice back in the village, but you certainly look the part now!”

Geralt looked down at himself, hands and arms and shirt covered in semi-dried blood. He looked up at his lover and chuckled. “And you certainly look the part of a bloodthirsty monster, Your Grace.” Jaskier’s arms were also coated in semi-dried blood, and his shirt was much the worse for wear in terms of cleanliness. The couch and carpet next to it were in similar condition. 

A groan from the couch alerted the two to their guest’s awakening. The girl sat up, raising a hand stiffly to her head and new haircut. “Ga~ah. Why does everything hurt?” one eye cracked open, the other being swollen shut. “Who are you?”

Jaskier dipped into a small, flourishing bow. “Julian Alfred Pankratz, Viscount de Lettenhove. Who might you be? I like to know who I have in my company.”

The girl narrowed her open eye, as much as it could be narrowed without closing. “Uh.. Cirilla. Most call me Ciri. Why… are you covered in blood?”

Geralt grunted. “It would appear to be yours.”

Ciri’s head turned to look at Geralt. “You’re alive?”

“So it seems.”

Ciri huffed. “Well then Olan is even more of a bastard.”

“How so?”

“Idiot told me you were dead, so ‘it doesn’t matter what happens before the monster takes you’.”

Jaskier’s eyes narrowed. “That fucking- Geralt I don’t suppose you remember how to use a blade? I believe it’s about time I visited your village again.”

Cirilla grinned. “If you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking, Viscount, you had better wait for me. I want a stab at him too, seeing as he did this to me.”

Geralt looked at her sidelong. “You’re quick. Don’t suppose you can actually use a blade to boot?”

Ciri hissed as she swung her legs over the side of the couch. “Once I can move properly? Sure.” she stood, wobbling a bit. She was about four and a half feet tall and skinny. 

Jaskier clapped his hands. “Wonderful, now I believe it’s time for breakfast.” he looked down at his bloody hands. “No. First, we are cleaning this mess.” 

#geraskier #vampire jaskier #mysterious night blooming roses au headcanon #mnbr headcanon #other people's writing #bounceacoinoffyoursubmissions #submission