#definitely didn't spend a day at work making this instead of doing my actual job

[numetalkids]

*inhales*.....................DEEP SIGH

#i'm exhausted #i have a job interview this week which i should be grateful for but i'm still so unsure about what i want in life #and i'm so scared of making wrong choices like i'm terrified #and the company seems kind of conservative in its structures and culture i mean apparently there are low hierarchies but #they make their whole deal about 'family' and then there are almost only men working there which is like ughhh like the ratio is ridiculous #and the thing is i found another job offer at my local library and i would just so love to work there!!!! i will definitely apply this week #i'm just scared that i'll do well enough during the interview that they will actually want ti hire me and then i can't say no #bc i didn't even expect them to reach out to me in the first place so i guess my application was better than i thought #so now im'm debating whether i should take the chance or sabotage the interview so that i get to try really hard for #the application for the library job instead #i sound ridiculous being upset that an employer is showing interest in me like what a privilege to be able to turn that down #at the same time. like thankfully there is financial support from the government so i'm safe in that regard atm but it's really not much #and i also don't want to be in this state of unemployment for too long #and yet...i want to just spend my days doing something worthwhile? maybe i should just be grateful that i have the privilege to choose betw #different jobs and try to take advantage of that fact and opt for the offers that speak to me rather than cry about it #god i'm so stressed this is my first time in life where i can't rest assured that the upcoming years will follow the same routine #like how it was when i entered uni like i just knew 'alright i'll be studying for at least 5 years and then we'll see' and now #it's like i don't know what i'll be doing next month or in half a year or next year or in five years #the uncertainty. killing me. that's how i know i grew up way too protected cause i break under the slightest inconvenience god #alright crying rant over from now on i'll be growing up for real 👍 #personal

[akfamilyhome]

YouTube 2023 Year in Review

Welp! Guess it's that time of year again. I'm sure 2023 has been a...pretty interesting year to say for quite a few people. And for me personally, it's also been a weird little year that's great in some parts and could be better in others.

What have I been up to?

My life right now is kinda divided into three parts:

A) the "IRL" stuff, as in working on my editing day job and spending time with family.

B) working on YouTube videos which I still have the passion for,

and C) playing video games, collecting cool things and socializing with my online friends.

I've always felt that it's difficult for me to put equal attention to all three, and lately, it definitely feels like I'm focusing on 'A' and 'C' more. Of course, my day job is kinda how I make a living at the moment so that obviously gets priority, but that doesn't mean I want to ignore my YouTube stuff! It's just hard to sneak in a few lines of script-writing while multitasking at a day job, and only being able to freely spend time on 'B' and 'C' during night isn't the most productive way to go about things, especially with other things that aren't YouTube production. I also have games I want to play, art I want to draw, folks I'd like to hang out with etc.

And that's a fine, healthy way of going about things online for regular folks! But I don't want my YouTube channel to stagnate as a result of this, because I still love making videos! I have support from folks on Patreon, and I still hope to continue growing the channel so that it becomes more sustainable to do frequent updates.

Part of me has always thought about just quitting my day job once I have a decent amount of money saved up and just try doing YouTube full-time and rely on Patreon, even if there's a very low chance it'd be sustainable. Of course, that's a big gamble, and I'm not truly sure if that's really the best way to go about things. But those are just my inner thoughts and I've rambled long enough...

So, I apologize for the above situation sort of being the root cause of the recent slower pace of my YouTube channel! The pace of the channel this year is about the same as in 2022, if not a little slower. I didn't really get a lot of dormant scripts from 2020-2021 off the ground, but being true to what I said in last year's Year in Review, I did end up working on a lot of spontaneous ideas even if there wasn't a "big" core video! In fact, I think almost every video released in 2023 that we'll discuss below were spontaneous ideas.

I'll talk more about what's to come for the channel in the end of the post, but for now, as usual, we'll take a look at each video I made during 2023 and I'll share my thoughts and some fun facts about each!

A Trip to the Hong Kong Kirby Pop-Up Store

Various things were put up on the channel from January to March, including a funny little short for Mario Day and a new trailer for a revamped Patreon, but the major thing I put out was a look at the Kirby Pop-Up Store in Hong Kong! This was my first time doing a scripted documentation of an in-person event, and Nintendo Hong Kong would eventually do more events like Nintendo Live 2023 Hong Kong, and I'll definitely be talking about them on my channel eventually!

As for fun facts...uhh...I suppose Patreon patrons get to see the full unedited raw footage I took from the event lol

Top 10 Nintendo Trivia You NEVER Knew

This year's April Fools video...was also a last-minute sort of idea, if I recall correctly! The concept is simple: it's a parody of generic Top 10 trivia videos in terms of presentation, but the curveball is instead of just doing other blatantly obvious fun facts, the facts would actually be super obscure, inconsequential Nintendo facts that barely anyone would've known about, so in the end it's kind of a legit trivia video in a twisted way. The facts in the video were sourced from new research, me asking friends for suggestions and some of my old posts on Twitter, so there were a few 'fun' facts that were left on the cutting room floor, and here's a good place to share them!

In an early version of the GameCube instruction manual, Mario 64 was used as a placeholder game

The infamous 'black box' in Super Mario 64 DS is not a visual glitch as commonly believed, and briefly appears in E3 2004 footage

Prototype screenshots of Mario 64 have appeared in an early print of the game's box art...and on a Nintendo Monopoly board in 2006 (next to the ? Block on the right side of the board if you're looking)

The Onion in Hey! Pikmin has white and purple in its colors, even though white and purple Pikmin never appear in the game

The original 3DS had two separate sets of black & white colors, for some reason

And to finally come clean...yes, around 30% of the video's script was generated using ChatGPT, as part of the joke. Mostly the introductory bits at the beginning of each segment, since it definitely did not give me the results I wanted when I asked it to describe the specific details of each fact, so y'know, hopefully that's a sign it's not coming for my job of talking about obscure Nintendo things! And don't worry, this will probably be the only time I ever use AI in my videos.

The Better N64 Wavebird Experience

This is a follow-up to a 2021 video where I also used the N64 Switch Online controller on an original N64, albeit with a different adapter! This actually isn't a case where I received a free product to do a review on, I just happened to read about a better alternative, pre-ordered it online, it arrived in April and I decided to knock out a quick review/comparison video in 2 days!

As such, this is more of standard informative review video, but in all honesty, I still really like this setup, and it's in my opinion still one of the best controller options for original N64 games. So much so, that I recently completed my NSO controller collection by picking up a Sega Mega Drive 6-button NSO controller to eventually use with my original Mega Drive! I'm still looking for the compatible 8bitDo adapter though, so maybe when I eventually do, that can be a quick little video on the Plus channel for patrons!

The Most Expensive amiibo

This is my favorite video I put out this year! The Qbby amiibo has always been in my sights for a while, and I've gone on record saying that I'd make a video on it if I got my hands on one.

Back in 2019, I once saw a Qbby amiibo being offered on Yahoo Auctions for a relatively cheap price, but to afford it I asked for extra donations via Ko-fi. Looking back on it now there were probably better options I could've taken, but either way the listing got cancelled and I refunded everyone who donated for that. Then sometime later I saw another relatively cheap BOXBOY package in a local listing, but then the seller never replied and deleted the listing, so the amiibo has eluded me until now, and there seems to be no signs of Qbby stock going down any time soon. My hope for a Qbby reprint continues, and hopefully this video still serve as a little awareness boost for folks who are wondering why he's one of the most expensive amiibo around!

Some of the gag editing on this one got spruced up a little bit which I enjoyed doing, but you also probably noticed that I got a turntable specifically for those glamour shots! ...yeah, I'll probably get more use of that thing later on as well.

The Kirby Battle Royale online joke wasn't exaggeration: I couldn't find anyone to play online with! I suppose that is to be expected for, y'know, playing a mid 3DS game in 2023, but it's a shame that Kirby Battle Royale doesn't at least offer a option to play with friends, and from some experimentation, it seems that two of my US-based friends were able to match with each other online while I couldn't, which also suggested some region-based matchmaking was at play. Oh well! There are some better 3DS games out there that I'd still like to play online one last time before their servers shut down this April.

Tetris...on a McDonald's Nugget

Continuing the trend of 'make video on a recent find' for the third video in a row, it's the China-exclusive McDonald's Tetris Chicken McNugget! For an unscripted Things of Interest video, it turned out pretty well, kinda like the Rhythm Tengoku arcade video in 2022! Compared to the first unscripted TOI back in like 2018, I've definitely gotten a bit better at rambling since.

I was kind of a few days late to the party, and some other videos about the Tetris Nugget from larger channels have racked up more views since, but that's not really the point! As a casual Tetris fan that happens to be in proximity to mainland China, something as bizarre as this is totally right up my alley. Covering China-exclusive gaming stuff just kinda reminds me that I have yet to do a video on the iQue Player though, which I really want to...

FlashBoy Plus: The $95 Virtual Boy Flashcart

I haven't really taken a YouTube sponsorship deal yet, but I do get emails about doing reviews or ad reads of items on occasion, like new Switch gaming accessories from different third parties and whatnot. Unfortunately, that's not really the type of stuff I do regularly on the channel unless I find a great angle to tackle it from, so the only review offer I've done on the channel until now is a limited Switch physical release in 2020.

When I was offered to review the FlashBoy Plus, I was definitely intrigued despite having already previously covered the HyperFlash 32, a technically better option! Virtual Boy flashcarts are already a very niche thing, so I gladly took the opportunity to take a look at any new option out there, and even if it's not a mainstream topic at all it does kinda appeal to me specifically.

In the video, I mentioned the (very cool looking) clear cartridge shell was not a publicly available option yet at the time of the review, but looking at the order site now, it has been added since! So hey, good for them! It is honestly pretty sick to have a transparent Virtual Boy cartridge.

Playing PC Games with the SNES Mouse & Famicom Keyboard

I started work on the next core video right after the FlashBoy Plus video (more on that in the last section), but getting sick during early December forced me to delay it, so for that month I decided to do one last spontaneous idea: a followup to the 2021 video where I used the Famicom keyboard and SNES Mouse on a computer...but this time on a proper PC!

A thing that was brought up in the comments was one setting in particular: when I was changing the mouse settings in the Control Panel, there was a 'Enhance pointer precision' option that I didn't uncheck, which presumably slows down the mouse for precise movements. There wasn't a super noticeable difference when I unchecked it during further testing, but when I coupled it with further increasing the mouse sensitivity in games that allow you to change it in-game, I was actually able to get the SNES Mouse to move at a decent pace in some games! Of course, that requires tweaking with additional settings that would normally be overkill for a regular mouse, so it's still not practical, but at least there was a setup that would alleviate some of my complaints in the video.

Akfamilyhome Plus videos

Over on my second channel Akfamilyhome Plus, once again there's a variety of stuff! There's Mario Wonder memes, a new high quality video game rip album, archival footage and more. If there's one thing you should check out though, it's the supercuts of me playing Everybody 1-2-Switch with my Discord server. It's the best kind of chaos. Long live Kitchen Timer 4.

This year, 8 new unscripted bonus videos were released publicly! You can enjoy watching me:

Visit the 3DS eShop on its final day of operation

Check out the Nintendo DSi XL Demo Video carts

Look through gaming goodies on a Chinese second-hand market

Unseal Captain Toad Treasure Tracker for the 3DS

Read through the 2010 Nintendo Anti-Piracy Manual

Unbox a complete copy of the original GBA Play-Yan

Compare the two popular 3DS capture card models

And check out the Nintendo Power...rewritable cartridge!

And over on Patreon, 8 more exclusive videos are also available, featuring things like a slew of Nintendo cleaning kits, iQue DS games, the Chinese Mario Movie DVD and more! As always if you don't want to wait till some of them rotate into public availability, they're all available on Patreon for just $1 USD a month!

The fuuuuture

Okay, so what's next for 2023?

I mean 2024. Oh god the typos are already starting.

Right before the FlashBoy Plus video came out, in late June 2023, I did a video topic poll on Patreon, asking what idea I should do next. Out of the four options given, one of them is a continuation of a limbo project from 2021, and the other three were spontaneous new core video ideas I came up with and wanted to do.

Well, one of the spontaneous new ideas won the poll, so the next core video is...

A look at the camera and sound apps on both the Nintendo DSi and 3DS! I originally wanted to get this out in December, and you all know what happened to that plan, BUT the script is done, the VO recording is done, footage recording is well underway and I am confident I'll be able to get it out this January. I really like how the script for this one shaped up and am commissioning some banger thumbnail art for it (🐦), so I REALLY hope you'll look forward to it!

Afterwards, there are a few in-progress ideas that I also want to work on for quick videos afterwards. As mentioned above, I visited Nintendo Live 2023 Hong Kong which was hosted on November, and ALSO the Nintendo Hong Kong Pop-Up Store which is running from December to January, so both of those would make for a perfect video in a similar vein as the Kirby Pop-Up Store video last year!

I also went on a trip to Japan last August, and took quite a bit of photos and footage. I still want to share my findings and experiences of being in Tokyo for the first time that I could remember, so there will be a fun little piece about that going on the Plus channel in the future!

And don't forget, I'm making a video about every game I beat during 2023, continuing the thing I started last year!

And after ALL of the above is done, I still have the remaining core video ideas from the June Patreon poll I did, since I did say I'd eventually love to do all of them, and that desire still hasn't gone away. I don't know how the rest of 2024 will go for this channel but I'd say this is a fantastic starting point, and I hope it'll all go up from there, since I'd really love to be more productive on here, while trying to keep that A-B-C balance in check!

So yeah! That's it for the 2023 Year in Review. If you've made it all the way to the bottom, thank you for reading! Here's a 25-use invite link to my Discord server as a little something! Thank you to all of you who've supported me this past year, whether you're a viewer or a patron, and I hope to keep up the work this year and try to strive for better!

#akfamilyhome words #year in review #Youtube

[donnerpartyofone]

I destroyed the house. I've been slowly neatening and cleaning and making things liveable bit by bit for weeks and it's all gone. People joke about the whole Sisyphus thing and they usually mean the rat race of work and bills and not getting ahead, but when I say every day is the same I really mean it. The drawers I "fixed" have stopped closing again because I had to look for something and my "organizing" couldn't withstand that, so now we're back to square one. The clothing I sorted and washed and put away is once again in a 3' deep ocean all over the bedroom, because I had to look for something. The art and comics and little gifts people gave me that I "put away safely" is all wrecked because I had to look for something. The little bags and boxes I made to consolidate different types of things are all over the place again, because I had to look for something. The jewelry I finally organized (after I destroyed more than half of it by trying to clean it) is a mess again because I had to look for something. And I didn't even find the main thing I was looking for, which had a very definite place-it-belongs and is more than a foot long on each side and would be awfully conspicuous in an apartment this size, and whose ENTIRE PURPOSE WAS HELPING ME STAY ORGANIZED, is just gone. I really don't get what could have happened, I must have just slipped into a fugue state and thrown it in the trash. I don't even think I spent my own money on it, I think my husband bought it for me which makes my chronic and destructive wastefulness even more shameful than usual. I was supposed to walk a block and a half to the pharmacy hours ago to find out if they had my backordered medication, so that I could know if I then had to spend the rest of the day calling other pharmacies for the same reason. There's no way I can do that very important thing now, even though the medication is directly related to why I just totally ruined the house and undid months' worth of careful, patient organizing so I could try to live something like a decent, normal life. I should have applied for jobs today. I should have worked on my project that could actually turn into a job if I really try hard. I should have done normal cleaning like laundry and dishes and showering. I should have run a few errands and gotten some fresh air. I should have read one of the many books I'm half way through. Just one of any of these things would have justified getting out of bed today. I should have done anything at all to just inch my life forward a little bit, to just try to be a little bit better than I was yesterday. But instead I'm just still living an endless repetitive day that started sometime when I was in my 30s, or my 20s, or when a was a child, a day I will never get to the end of because I can't complete anything. I can never get to the next step of anything. No wonder my family talks to me like I'm still the same laughably stunted and incompetent 12 year old they had to carry through life decades ago, it makes me mad that they won't treat me like an adult with real thoughts and feelings but actually I totally deserve it because from the day I was born nothing has changed. I'm still just lying around pissing my pants and wondering how I got all wet.

[rriavian]

@aisalynn reblogged a post that led to an idea, which led to this, which is now almost 3200 words and almost done. The full fic fits other prompts too but I won't spoil.

Please take this as my 'sorry I'm keeping you waiting for Courting the King I hope this helps tide you over' fic. My brain is fried this evening so no cat Dream, but this didn't need any additions, just an edit. Though tbh I'll probably tweak it a little more. Hope you enjoy!

So - 1/5 times circumstance rendered Dream or the Corinthian nearly unconscious.

-

Dream punishes him.

And by the time it’s over the Corinthian can’t even remember what he’d done. 

It must have been bad—the king’s really done a number on him, really put some effort in—has his body singing in all the right ways. Nightmare or not he still has one, not defined by flesh, yet a body still for all a human would call it merely concept. The Corinthian realises he’s on his side, cheek against a hard, stone floor, spends a moment memorising the texture as it grates against his skin. It’s nice, should be remembered, should be enjoyed, and once it is the Corinthian rolls lazily onto his back. The limbs don’t quite work, as far as motion goes it’s rather inelegant actually, but who cares about that.

The Corinthian feels raw.

Dream has knelt down next to him, hand reaching for his shoulder, and when fingers touch him the Corinthian flinches with a moan, looks up with a smirk. Fuck but he’s pretty. The Corinthian is dazzled by blinding white light, drawls—

“Heya darlin’”

It sounds more like a slur.

Dream stands, smiles. “Such spirit.”

The sentiment is familiar. Or maybe it’s the tone. The Corinthian squints a little, flesh shivering over teeth, tries to keep Dream’s face in focus so he can puzzle it out. Eventually he gives up—needs time to heal, to calm—his nerves the grit of sand, so very inhuman and yet dazed like one. How annoying. It must have taken some time for Dream to satisfy his ire, if it even is satisfied at all, because though the Corinthian thinks he remembers saying sorry it’s hazy, unclear.

In any case he’s not saying it again.  

Instead he sighs, smirks and knows it looks more than a little pleased, a satisfaction all his own. He’ll probably feel embarrassed about this later; so boneless after punishment, hating them because of it, but the Corinthian is currently far too blissed out to care. He doesn’t think he’s supposed to feel like this though, what with the way Dream’s looking at him, doesn’t think he was made to.

But if the Corinthian wasn’t made to enjoy it then that means this is treason.

So maybe it’s ok.

“Can’t break a nightmare with what I do as a day job beautiful.” The Corinthian’s still slurring, loose lipped, is definitely earning himself further punishment with how he’s leering. He adds a wink just to make sure, to tip the scales, to seal the deal. “Damn good foreplay though. Really needed that.”

“I suppose pleasure is as good a way as any to keep you in line.” Dream says dryly. 

There’s intrigue in his eyes.

The Corinthian snorts, yawns, is surprised enough by it to pause. He blinks, grins and then says. “Fuck I’d love to shove my cock down your throat.”

It’s probably not what Dream usually hears after a punishment.

The Corinthian has already earned himself another.

May as well keep going.

“Yup.” He adds, speaks as if Dream has agreed, closes his eyes a moment to shiver with the gall of that, can’t help it, teeth yearning as he opens them. “Think you’d look hot on your knees. On your back too. Or sitting on my lap while I bounce you on my cock.”

Dream laughs; softly, disbelief and amusement, seems to be delighted rather than offended by his nerve. “Really.”

“Mhm.” The Corinthian tries to sit up, sways, braces himself against Dream’s knee so he doesn’t crumple back to the floor. It’s good knee, solid—more so than he is right now, which isn’t really hard—he curls towards it, sighs and then sags, lets it support his weight. “You’d look so fucking pretty.”

He twists his torso a little more, shuffles closer, and ok now his head is resting closer to Dream’s thigh than to his knee but oh well.

It’s a good thigh too.

Beneath Dream’s soft silk robe and even softer skin—under the rope of tendons, of muscle, underneath all of that—the Corinthian knows that he’ll find bone. He feels it under his hand, wants to rip it out, wants to break it, will tenderly carve nerves and tendons away until he finds it white amongst the blood. The Corinthian sighs, smirks, nuzzles happily at Dream’s thigh as he imagines it, embraces blasphemy, thinks it bold and bright.

A hand drifts down to his hair.

It doesn’t do anything, no curl of fingers reaching back, just rests motionless on his head. And that’s probably a warning but if so then good. 

The Corinthian loves warnings.

Or, more specifically, he loves ignoring them.

“Promise you’ll like it.” He mumbles; cheek pressed against soft fabric, no sharp grit here to match that of the floor, something worth memorising all the same. “Eventually. After I’ve hurt you a little. Maybe a lot.”

Dream is dangerously gentle when he pulls the Corinthian’s head back.

He still can’t really even feel the grip on his hair and he knows that’s dangerous because it means this is a prelude. It’s build up. A stoop to what’s unnecessary; Dream doesn’t need to build suspense, not for this, doesn’t entertain while he punishes. That’s saved for special occasions, special affronts.

Not everyone gets it.

Dream’s expression is rather severe—always is really, such a pretty thing, even set in this permanent pout—features cut from stone, from glass. It’s set there like calibration. As always the ozone burn of his fading wrath is terrible to behold, the desolation following a fire far surpassing the ache felt while it’s burning, no adrenaline fuelled destruction found in a silent field of bones.

Oh, the Corinthian thinks in a daze, grinning giddily. 

He must be really mad. 

(Or really pleased)

#Corintheus #my writing #little ficlet

[9leaguesofmirrors]

5 Times Ross and Lisgoe Definitely Weren't In Love (and 1 time they were)

I'm a sucker for "5 Times, 1 Time" fics, so I decided to make one for my current brainrot ship

When you live with someone for long enough, you grow used to seeing them everywhere. Even if you don't spend every waking moment attached at the hip, you'll see them going about their day at the same time as you. It gets to the point where not seeing them, when you know they're in the house, is a little jarring

Lisgoe had to get used to that quite quickly, since Ross likes to bring home work to do on his day off

He isn't clingy but, when they first started living together, when he was downstairs and hadn't heard so much as a shuffle upstairs for most of the day, he started to wonder if he's snuck off somewhere. Eventually, he decides to test the waters

"Ross, are you still there?"

No answer

"Ross?"

Still no answer

"Twat!"

No answer

OK, so he's definitely gone

Deciding to get to the bottom of this himself, Lisgoe got up and made his way upstairs

Once he reached the top floor, he noticed that the door to their bedroom was ajar, which suggested at Ross had either just left or just got back - if he even left at all. Lisgoe decided to take a quick peek through the space in the doorway, and that's when he saw him

Ross was sat at his desk (technically, they shared it, but he used it far more often) with a desk lamp on. There was a stack of books on one side, a laptop in front of him and another book propped open by his hand. Everything was in its place

What started as a "quick peek" turned into something that took a little longer. He wasn't staring, obviously, that's weird! This was just... something that wasn't staring! Truth be told, there was something about seeing Ross so focused that caught Lisgoe's attention and refused to let it go. Maybe it was the stillness of it, aside from nimble fingers flicking through pages and the clicking of keys. Or it was the way his brows furrowed in concentration as his knuckle rested on his lower lip

Yes, there was something about it that made it impossible to look away. And he'd come to the conclusion that it was Ross' fault. It wasn't a bad thing, but it was definitely his fault

"Staring is rude," Ross said, not looking up from his work "can I help you?"

"I thought you'd died." Came the casual response as Lisgoe opened the door and leaned against the doorframe "And looking is different to staring."

"I know. And you were definitely staring."

"Don't wank yourself off, I was just looking."

"What do you want?"

Instead of replying, he left his spot and went over to stand behind Ross to get a better look at the laptop screen. It was full of... there was lots of...

"What the fuck is this?"

"Data analysis"

"Right, I see it now."

"I assume you know what-"

"What do you think I do at my desk all day?"

"I don't know, you don't tell me about your job."

He didn't know what possessed him to ask, but it came out before he could stop himself:

"Tell me about it."

The way Ross blink rapidly and seemed to twitch his head to the side suggested that this was not what he expected to hear

"You want to hear my weekly evaluation?"

"I want to know if you actually understand what you type into that laptop."

Lisgoe knew damn well that Ross understood what he was typing, but it was the one method he knew would explain everything in detail. And it worked! He was completely in the zone, like a lecturer explaining to a keen student

Had he been less focused, he'd have noticed that Lisgoe hadn't looked at the laptop screen more than twice

○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○

There are things you expect to see in Royston Vasey: blood in Edmund Chinnery's veternary, pens in Pauline's office, Dean trying to interest some poor sod in his magic

What Ross didn't expect to see at the dead of night, after waking up randomly and realising his partner wasn't there, was finding him lying on the edge of the pavement a fair way out from their home. He didn't look injured or annoyed, in fact it was the rare sight of him looking almost peaceful, his eyes directly up at the sky

That was, of course, quickly ruined when he realised he was being watched

"Fuck off, Glenn, I don't have to deal with your shite after 4pm. It's clearly past 9."

"Have you been here all day then?"

That made him sit up suddenly, noticing who it was seemed to make him less cranky

"I've only been here for half an hour, maybe, I left the house at 11."

"It's currently 2:30 in the morning. You've been here for 3 and a half hours."

"Have I? Fuck, must've fallen asleep."

"What are you doing here? People are going to think you're homeless!" Ross took his arm and tried to yank him up "Get up, you don't know what people have done on this street."

"Get off, I'm fine!" Lisgoe said as he shook free from his grasp "It's 2:30, nobody's gonna see me. Besides, I've done this before, you've just never realised."

"Are you the newest member of Legz Whatever? Has their director got you method acting in preparation for his newest disaster?"

"Fuck off, you cheeky bastard!" Lisgoe shuffled a little, moving so he was facing the empty road "I come out here sometimes, only when I really hate things."

"What things?"

"Everything. Work mainly; sometimes it's fine, but sometimes I can't stand anything about it. I hate my job, I hate my co-workers, I hate my boss - especially hate my boss."

It was a this point that Ross remembered how little Lisgoe actually told him about his work. He knew he was a debt collector, he knew he had two stupid bozos working for him, but that's it

"I didn't even know you had a boss."

"Not many people do." Lisgoe couldn't help but laugh a little, there was something oddly empowering about the fact people assumed he was the man in charge "I'm Barry and Glenn's supervisor, Hammonds oversees everything. When those thick twats don't meet their target, I'm the one who gets it in the ear. He gave me a right telling off today, the gobshite. He doesn't give a fuck about those two, I'm the one who's meant to be making sure they reach their target each week. What am I? Nanny Mc-fucking-phee?"

Ross waited for a moment, then folded his jacket and put it on the floor beside Lisgoe. He sat down

"I've never met Hammonds, but he sounds like a wa- um, a very arrogant man."

"That's not what you were gonna say."

"I don't know what you mean."

"You were gonna swear!" Lisgoe said with a mischevious smile which Ross did not find handsome at all "I heard it, you were gonna call him a wanker!"

"No I wasn't."

"Come on Ross," Lisgoe teased, moving closer "you wanna call him what he is. We both know that. Nobody's around, let it go."

Ross leaned away slightly, refusing to give into his influence. This was met by Lisgoe laying back down with a huff, hands behind his head

"Aren't you a boring sod!"

"I'm not calling him that because that isn't what he is."

"Maybe you think that, I think-"

"He's a... prick"

At first, Lisgoe was taken aback, then he started to laugh a little

"It's funny when you hesitate before you swear, you're like a primary schooler saying 'crap' for the first time!"

"It's not that funny." Ross replied, but his sterness was weak. He was focused on the man beside him, who still seemed tickled by what had just happened

He had to admit, seeing Joseph Lisgoe's tough shell crack a little wasn't an unwelcome sight. If it happened again, at some point, not that it would, but if it did... he decided that he wouldn't mind

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"You're an idiot." Ross muttered as he held an ice bag to Lisgoe's cheek "I mean it. You're a complete idiot."

"Can you say it again?" Lisgoe snarked "I don't think I heard you the 6th time."

"One week, can you go one week without picking a fight with someone?"

"I don't know, can people go one week without testing my fucking patience?"

It didn't matter what Ross said, it wouldn't change Lisgoe's mind that the bastard deserved it. Actually no, he thought, I went easy on him. I was kind enough to give him a minor concussion instead of snapping his neck. Either way, it seemed that Ross was making sure his message came through, because he was pressing the ice down so hard on Lisgoe's cheek it was like he was trying to dislocate his jaw

"Do you have to press so hard? Or do you just want to give me another fucking injury?"

"If you don't want me doing this, then stop wanting to attack everyone that looks at you wrong. I don't find this enjoyable, seeing you come home with new injuries every day."

"You're exaggerating!" Lisgoe grabbed his arm and moved the ice away "And he was asking for it! I don't care what he had to say about me, he shouldn't have dragged you into it."

There wasn't a response after that. He leaned back on the sofa as Ross put the ice away, not speaking even he was sat back down

"Ross, don't do the 'silent treatment' shite. It annoying as fuck when people pull that-"

He hadn't noticed Ross leaning in until his lips pressed against his own. The first thought that crossed Lisgoe's mind was that asshole didn't let me finish. What made things worse was, as soon as he pulled away to say something, he just pulled him in again roughly

It pissed him off, how easily Ross affected him. The last thing he wanted was to be affected like this, to need this: those hands, that mouth, just... It felt so fucking pathetic every time and yet he couldn't stop himself. It wasn't just adrenaline, it was like an anchor weighing him into place. His nails dug into Ross' back tightly, and he revelled in the sound he produced

Out of everything, that was the one thing Lisgoe hated about the way he felt. Royston Vasey knew him as impenetrable, and he was! Nobody dared to challenge him because everyone knew he wouldn't be stopped. That was who he was, unwavering and authoritative

So why did he react so erratically when that man threatened Ross earlier? Why did the mere thought of Pauline make him want to storm right into that Job Centre and turn her inside out? And why the fuck, whenever Ross kisses him, even for a second, does it make his brain shut off for the duration of it? He wished he could come up with an answer, but his brain was short-circuiting and Ross had his lower lip in his teeth...

He hated it. He truly fucking hated it. But he didn't at the same time

As he felt Ross's hand move up his shirt, he thought this is going to kill me

Then, as he pushed Ross backwards against the sofa, he thought what a fucking way to go!

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The next morning came far too quickly

Neither could remember when they ended up in their bed, but it happened. Clearly. Because Ross had woken up and was laying on his side, looking at the back of a sleeping Lisgoe. Instantly, his eyes were drawn to the tattoo that decorated his back - a large snake slithering up to his neck. Ross thought it made Lisgoe look like a member of the Japanese mafia which, he supposed, was partly the point. Still, it made him look infuriatingly good; when Ross first slept with Lisgoe, he was less disturbed by the fact he liked doing it with guys and was more confused by the fact it was the first instance in which he wasn't massively put off by someone's tattoos - especially given how many Lisgoe had

Before he could stop himself, he slowly reached out and touched his shoulder, running his fingers gently down the black marking... next thing he knew, he's been back-handed in the face by a very surprised Lisgoe

"Fucking hell..." he muttered when he finally realised who it was, still slightly groggy from tiredness "What was that?"

"That was me, you moron!" Ross was clutching his face, clearly feeling the sting

"I know that," he turned onto his other side, facing the man he just hit "what were you doing?"

"Nothing."

A pause. They both knew that was a lie, Lisgoe wasn't accustom to smacking Ross in the face

"I was just looking at your tattoo," he explain, reaching for his glasses on the bedside table and putting them on "I didn't realise that warrented a smack in the mouth!"

"I didn't do it on purpose! You know unexpected touches put in fight-mode, I raised my hand, you were too close, you got hit!" Lisgoe looked at the red mark on his cheek and asked, in an uncharacteristically soft voice "Are you OK?"

Ross was caught off-guard by the quiet, half-whispered tone. It actually made his chest jump a little, but only because it was so unexpected! Yes, it was like a jumpscare... but nicer

"It just hurts," he answered, more confused than in pain "a lot."

"Oh give over. I didn't hit you that hard, you big bitch! It's not like I'm gentle with you when we're fucking, anyway!"

"Thank god," Ross felt himself smile a little upon hearing that familiar, snappy tone "for one horrible moment, I thought you were developing compassion."

"Nah, not a chance!"

Lisgoe was lying on his back now, which meant Ross could see even more of his tattoos. Maybe it was the fact they were just a neutral monochrome that made them look OK (well, more than OK), or maybe, and this was a frightening thought, Ross liked tattoos on Lisgoe specifically

He faced the ceiling

That was the one thing that truly set his teeth on edge: Joseph Nigel Lisgoe was an exception to all his rules. Don't get involved with the wrong sort: the sort with tattoos and vulgar language, the sort that settle disputes with their fists and find books a waste of time

What made things worse is that no only had every rule been broken, but it turned out that they were all based on incorrect conclusions. Lisgoe may not have been good with logic or reasoning, but he could tell you everything about niche subjects like medieval torture methods, famous cults, and serial killers - hell, he'd probably truly enjoy reading a book on the subject if he didn't find the act of reading so difficult. He didn't get tattoos because they made him look intimidating, he could do that without ink on his skin, he just thought they looked cool. And Ross learned that, despite everything, he wasn't a hypocrite; whatever you gave, he gave back. Direspect, attitude, favours: he repaid it in full - maybe not in the way you expect it, but he did. Lisgoe wasn't a kind or even a forgiving person, but he wasn't dishonest

When he thought about it, Ross realised that he really couldn't predict anything about Lisgoe the same way he did for everyone he met. But, for the first time, he didn't want to. He didn't want to look for patterns in his behaviour and try to figure out his next move. For once, he'd met someone he didn't want to analyse - he just wanted him as he was

And that thought alone went against everything he'd taught himself

Joseph Lisgoe, in many ways, was a jumpscare

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First thing Lisgoe thought when he came home from work:

Well. That was shite

It wasn't like he hated his job normally, some days just felt worse than others. This was one of those days; it was as it Barry, Glenn and Hammonds were in cahoots today, banding together in order to make Lisgoe's life a misery. All he hoped for was that he could come and forget it all happened

The first thing he noticed was Ross Gaines, in his dressing gown (this evening seems to be looking up), pouring a glass of white wine (ah, that explains it)

"You've had it shite as well then?"

"What gave it away?"

"The wine, you only drink white when you're pissed off. I don't even think you like the taste."

"Well, you don't exactly look happy yourself." Ross took another glass from the cupboard and a bottle of red "Lucky for you, these came together. Shut up, Joseph."

"I didn't say anything!" Lisgoe grabbed the bottle and took a large gulp

"I saw the look on your face, you were going to make a dirty joke. And stop drinking out the bottle, there's a glass right there."

"I know."

"I can't stand it when you drink out of the bottle."

"I know."

"Then why do you keep doing it?"

"I have free will, dickhead!" Lisgoe retorted with a smug look as he took another swig of wine before putting it down on the counter and pulling Ross towards him "And pissing you off makes my day so much better."

"You're insufferable, you know that right?" Ross' focus darted to Lisgoe's mouth, then back to his eyes "A real pain in the arse."

"And you have the personality of a fucking dish-cloth."

Lisgoe kissed the corner of his mouth (which did not affect Ross Gaines at all), then took a step back to actually pour himself a glass of wine. He raised it up, to which Ross did the same. They then took a sip

Neither could explain why, but they started to feel a little better than they felt a few moments ago

○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○���○

"I told you, you need to quit!"

"I'll quit on my own terms, Joseph. I don't need you to tell me when to do things."

They were having an argument in their kitchen. Not one of their meaningless, amusing games - they were both annoyed at each other. Ross had come home with a bruised arm thanks to an altercation with Pauline, and Lisgoe had gotten mad and told him to quit on the spot. Of course, Ross tried to explain that finances meant he couldn't, and quitting would mean unemployment - which would mean Pauline had even more power over him. He had to bide his time, make a plan

Lisgoe wouldn't hear it

"Either you enjoy getting used as a punching bag or you're more of a stubborn bastard than I am! There are other jobs, and you're more qualified than any of those incompetant shites!"

"Oh, and I'm supposed to believe that's the only reason you're so against me working there?"

"... What?"

"Those... defamatory and false rumours that I had sex with her." Ross' face was smug, as if he'd cracked the Enigma Code "We both know you have a jealousy problem, are you scared it'll happen again?"

Then there was silence. If looks could kill, Ross would probably have been brutally murdered. Lisgoe could brutally murder him right now

"First of all, wipe that fucking look off your face." His voice was quiet yet sharp "Secondly, don't ever bring that up again."

"Let me live my life and I'll let you live yours."

"Sure Ross!" He snapped, clearly done with the conversation "I'll let you live your fucking life! Pauline can do what she wants with you! I'm going." With that, he was up the stairs like a bullet from a gun

Ross watched him, knowing damn well how screwed he was. When Lisgoe said something, he meant it. He wasn't going to wait for anyone to stop him, if he said he was going, he was going and gone for good. Something about that notion made him want to throw up

Before he could stop himself, he was following. Halfway up the second flight of stairs, he finally caught up and grabbed Lisgoe's wrist

"I'm not letting you leave."

It was stated like a fact, the objective truth

"Is that right?" Came the reply, dripping with malice "And what are you gonna do to stop me?"

"Nothing. I'm just not letting you leave?"

"Why's that?"

"Because I love you."

That snapped Lisgoe right out of his angered trance. His face seemed to glitch into one of shock and confusion. Is this a mind game? He thought Is he trying to mess with me? He studied Ross' demeanour: slightly tense, his muscles were contracted, but his face was earnest - like he'd told Lisgoe something that couldn't be disputed

"Why are you telling me this now? When I'm packing my shite and fucking off?"

"That's exactly it. No point hiding it now, I've been waiting for the right moment to say it for ages. I don't like using the word, it's too dangerous - too much risk of it backfiring. I'm probably not going to say it again for a long time, so make the most of this. But I know you, and I know that you meant it when you said you were going. And I don't want that."

"So you said it to get me to stay?"

"Why else does anyone say it? I know I'm not going to find someone else I can say it to and mean it, you're rare. I'm not going to love someone else the way I love you. Never. And that's unnerving."

What else do I say to that? Was the thought that immediately burst into Lisgoe's mind How does someone respond to that? In spite of himself, he started to laugh - which clearly wasn't the right response

"Joseph, why are you laughing? What are you laughing for? I'm being serious."

"I'm sorry Ross, but I can't believe you. I mean, let's look at this factually - I know you like doing that. What about me is worth loving? What even is there to like?"

What hit Ross wasn't what he'd said, it was the tone. As if he'd accepted that he was so unworthy of positive regard that the very idea of it was laughable. All he could do was listen to Lisgoe and approach it the way he knew best - factually

"You're blunt to the point of rudeness, but I only think that because you say what I need to know not what I want to hear. You have this... annoyingly fascinating way of reading body language and facial expressions that leads you into fights. But it also means you know when I want to be left alone. Basically, your 'bad parts' work in my favour."

Now neither of them knew what to say, they'd gone from being so guarded... to whatever this was

"I like-"

"Joseph, leave it."

"No, I want to-"

"I know it's awkward, you don't have-"

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Alright then."

"I like... fuck, now I've forgotten how to word it! ... you can't here someone's problems without inserting your own opinion, but it always makes sense - you look for solutions instead of bitching. You have a fucked-up, dry sense of humour, but I do too, so we laugh while everyone looks at us like we're sick. And you never like giving me the last word, you always have some kind of rebuttal. You challenge me. It makes things fun, but you always find a way to call out my bullshit. I need someone like that." Lisgoe looked down at his wrist "And I like when you let go of my wrist, which you've been gripping onto for 5 fucking minutes!"

Even more embarrassed, though he tried to hide it, Ross let go

"There's also the physical shite," Lisgoe continued with a shrug "but that's-"

Whatever he was going to say died in his throat, because Ross had pulled him into a kiss, letting his back press against the wall behind him. Lisgoe's hands were around his throat gently

"For the record," Ross' voice came out hoarse "I wasn't thinking about Pauline when I was with her."

"So it did happen," Lisgoe started to bite and kiss along his jawline "you lying bastard!"

"Maybe it did, but my mind was elswhere." He could feel his partner at his neck and tried to keep his voice steady "Some debt collector that came knocking on my door once, maybe you know him?"

"Yeah? What's his name?"

"Barry Baggs."

"Get fucked!" Lisgoe gave him a hard shove, but the laugh that followed showed he didn't take it personally

"I'd say that encapsulates your goal, wouldn't you?"

"After that, you can finish in your hand!"

Lisgoe moved up the stairs, but only made it two steps before he was pulled in again. This time, the kiss was slower, the movements less frantic and the electricity buzzing rather than sparking

Nothing else needed to be said

#the league of gentlemen #league of gentlemen #gainsgoe #ross gaines #joseph lisgoe #joseph nigel lisgoe #tlog

[neodiji]

Life Update

SO. Hi.

I am alive. I am in a better spot than the last time I posted, around two years ago. It was really dark for awhile there but I think I needed to take time and work on myself. I have a fabulous therapist now that has actually been helping me grow and tackle life, and I feel in some ways like a different person after navigating these past couple years. I am still prone to the major depressive spells, panic attacks, and crippling anxiety, but I am learning that even though mental health problems will probably always be a part of my life, they don't define me. I can do hard things, and I can accomplish goals even with those challenges. Sometimes, especially in those really bottom-of-the-pit days like a couple years ago, I just didn't see a path forward so I didn't know what steps to even try to take. Now I'm taking steps. They might not be the right steps, but trying is doing.

I truly appreciate all the support and outreach of love. I am also sorry for worrying people, considering the way I left things. I didn't handle my feelings and needs in a mature way. I definitely needed that break, but I should have just communicated that I needed a break. At the time, I really didn't think I could make it, but that's no one else's problem. It was and is for me to own.

I have not been active in fandom for the past couple years, but lately I have been indulging in some SuzaLulu daydreams. I'm also rediscovering my love of writing.

Highlights:

-I survived an entire year teaching at a horrific private school. When they hired me, they verbally told me that they were starting a new program and needed a teacher. They would provide the resources and guidance. It turned out that they gave me a classroom with a few blocks, and two days before the kids come, they told me that it was up to me to fund the entire new program out-of-pocket. I should have quit then and there, but I didn't know how to assert myself or set boundaries. I was also paid pennies. So because I had given them my word and signed the contract for the job, I funded everything out of pocket. I let them take advantage of me. I literally paid to work instead of the other way around. Every day was a nightmare, trying to spend all day with my class of kids and then come home and figure out what to even DO with them the following day, buy or create the resources to actually implement those learning activities (thank goodness for Teachers Pay Teachers), rinse and repeat. Admin always promised to reimburse me, and kept canceling my requested meetings to address these issues. Spoiler alert: they never did pay me back for all the things I bought to get that classroom and program up and running. So, you know...I can look back on this experience and say I was screwed, but alternatively:

I got to practice getting stronger in asserting myself and communicating. I learned how to get things in writing for future jobs so this never happened again. I gained experience working in a different kind of school setting. I met a lot of nice people, such as the other teachers and the families of the kids in my class. I also learned that I could not only survive, but do really good things in bad circumstances. I helped my kids learn and grow, and all but one of them were reading above grade level by the time they left me. So I took a classroom with nothing and I fucking rocked it.

Better yet, BECAUSE I had that major accomplishment under my belt, I was able to find a much, much, MUCH better teaching job in the public schools this past year (in a good school district). I have never before worked at a school I loved. I have never before worked for admin who actually care about teachers and students. I have never before met other teachers who genuinely love kids and want to do right by them. I found my place. I found my people. It makes all the difference.

This past year was hard because I was yet again learning a new grade level. Starting over in a new grade can feel like switching to an entirely new field. The standards of learning are different, the resources are different, the kids' social-emotional needs and maturity are different... So there's always a steep learning curve. But this past year? It was hard and draining and time-consuming but I loved. every. second. I couldn't wait to get back to my class and pick up where we'd left off the day before.

I also learned that I need to be helping kids learn and grow to feel fulfilled inside. When that's missing, when I don't have that built into my life, I feel like something vital is missing. I especially thrive with teaching reading. Again, all but one of my students was reading on or above grade level by the end of the year. More important, they LOVED reading. The one who was reading below grade level made significant personal progress, and he was very close to meeting benchmark. I'm on the right track now to one day be a reading specialist, which was my original dream job. My life is opening up again. It only took several years!

I also learned it is very very likely that I have high-functioning Autism, which would explain why communication, relationships, and social cues are such a personal struggle. (Along with hyperfixations, sensory processing disorders, etc.) Paying for yet additional testing for an official diagnosis is not in my current budget, but it does make sense when I reflect on the trends of my life. So I am learning more about myself and how I fit into the world, instead of just knowing deep inside that I feel different and thus feeling despair to the point of giving up because life feels like an insurmountable struggle sometimes.

So yeah. Maybe I need help with things because my way of interacting with the world is atypical, but even so...I still have a lot of things to be proud of about myself. I may struggle with peer communication, but I am an awesome teacher. I might need basic socialization explained to me, but I tend to be kind, helpful, and encouraging when I do have two-way interaction with people. There are worse things to be.

I also have grown a lot as a writer over the years. I have not had time to indulge in hobbies the past couple of years, due to every "free" moment being spent trying to prepare for the next school day, but when I think about what would make me happy? For me? It keeps coming back to writing. But now it has to change. To keep it fun, I can't put the pressure of perfectionism on myself. I'm not getting paid to write fanfic. It doesn't need to be perfect. I think readers are going to be okay if I end up making mistakes. If readers do take issue, then you know what? That's their problem. They can stay out of my work. That's their choice. But honestly, the majority of people I've interacted with online have tended to be lovely and encouraging anyway, so... I probably don't need to worry about the what-if anxieties that continuously pop up in that regard.

TLDR;

-I am an amazing teacher and it helped me find myself.

-I probably have Autism, which would explain a lot.

-I can cope and I can do hard things, even with challenges.

-I miss writing.

Goals:

-Learn and practice setting appropriate boundaries.

-Increase financial literacy. Teachers get paid shit. I need to stretch my money more effectively. (And stop spending my own money on flexible seating...)

-Spend more time on self-care, including writing, friendships, and playing with my cat Nimbus.

-Sleep.

-Read those 4 professional development books.

-Reply to fandom people who have commented or otherwise communicated over the past couple years when I've been MIA.

#Personal #Life Update

[seekerbr]

So, a while back i wrote some notes for a fanfic idea that I had, about Kaiba adopting Jaden when he was very little; there is a lot of fanart about it and a few fanfics too, but a lot of them focused on ships i don't care a lot about so i wanted to write my own take on it... the only problem being that i haven't watched a lot of GX yet, so I didn't feel that confident on writing it, also don't really have a lot of free time.

So i'm posting my notes on it here! Maybe i finish it someday, i don't know, but here it is:

Plot: Jaden Yuki is actually Seto Kaiba’s adopted son, probably named Jaden Kaiba. His biological parents died when he was very young, and Kaiba at the time wanted to adopt a child (he would not admit it out loud, but he was feeling a bit lonely after Mokuba grew up and started to study a lot more and go out with friends, and so decided to adopt someone).

His personality is still pretty similar to the original, very cheery, lazy and childish, but a little smarter since he studied a lot more when he was younger (not a lot though…).

His relationship with his father is a little… complicated. His father clearly loves him, and wants to protect Jaden of any problem that could happen. Jaden also loves his father, and thinks that he is super cool and talented. But Kaiba can be quite clueless about people’s emotions and needs sometimes, and Jaden is pretty reckless and energetic in a way that frustrates his father quite often.

He also wants him to inherit KaibaCorp one day, something that Jaden really does not want to do (he finds this kind of job very boring) and instead wants to become a professional duelist, and become the next king of games. I imagine that the stuff with Yubel happening with him during his childhood too, and I can’t imagine that Seto would want him to spend a lot of his time dueling after all that.

He met Yugi and friends quite a few times, usually on his birthdays. Kaiba did not invite them, of course, but Mokuba wanted the closest thing he had to friends to meet his son. Jaden loves Joey and Yugi, and imitates them a lot, something that annoys his father quite a bit.

(BTW, Yugi has retired from dueling, and now works making games and in his grandfather’s gameshop. He works for KaibaCorp, and can give advice to Kaiba and Mokuba on how to deal with some of Jaden’s emotions sometimes.)

Besides Yugi’s friends, he also probably met Pegasus before (though I doubt that his father ever told him about the bad things he did in the past), as well as Zigfried and Chazz’s brothers. In fact he probably met Chazz when he was younger, but he would not recognize Jaden now.

That’s because Jaden would not be recognizable as Kaiba’s son for the average person; for one, Kaiba decided to not put the spotlight on his son a lot, especially after his childhood, mostly by the insistence of Mokuba to give him a better life as a teen and also stop him from getting kidnapped a lot. He also usually changes Jaden’s hair with gel when they are together, so people won't really know him by his natural “Kuriboh hair” look.

He ends up going to Duel Academy after fighting with his father about his future, with him initially not wanting his son to go; he creates a fake last name (Yuki, inspired by Yugi) and never tells his friends, other students or teachers about the fact that Seto Kaiba is his father (maybe Shepard knows about it, Crowler definitely does not); his father also does not know initially, but Jaden tells him pretty early on and he begrudgingly accepts it. He calls his father on the phone sometimes, probably lies about being in Obelisk Blue. (maybe his father learns the truth later on, won't tell Jaden though.) 

That means that when he helps people with their family problems (Syrus, Chumley, Chazz, Alexis… a lot of people actually) it feels very strange for him; he does not know how to solve the problems with his own father, and just wants to run away from his problems with him.

Eventually i guess Kaiba would finally visit his own school and finally discuss things with Jaden face to face, probably the two would fight about his choices for his future and the fact he's in Slifer. Jaden's friends would probaby be shocked to say the least

#yugioh #yugioh gx #jaden yuki #judai yuki #seto kaiba #fanfic #yeah it just ends there #these are literally just random things i imagine could happen in the fic #seekerbr's things

[loverlylight]

So, I can't remember the last time I brought this up, but my older brother and I have been roommates for almost seven years now. We both were ready to move out of our parent's house but even back then there's basically no way to afford to live somewhere on your own without making a ton of money, and we got along and knew we did fine living together and so on. Anyway, he's been hoping to get his own place and has been saving up for a while and the hope is to get going on that within the next few months, and along with that the hope is that my younger sister would sort-of do a reverse time share thing where she'd spend part of the time at our parent's house and part at the apartment so I could afford to not have to move yet.

And like... okay, this was definitely not something that my brother intended or whatever, but I always felt more like I'm renting a room in the apartment rather than the common space also being mine. Not just because he'd pay the bills and I'd just pay him my share (which, to be fair, is less than a 50/50 split, but even though I now have a full-time job making more than minimum wage he still makes like double what I do so we're roughly paying the same proportion of our income), but, like, he has his computer desk set up in the living room. Pre-pandemic I would at least spend days when I was off and he wasn't in the living room, once his job went fully remote all of the daytime during the week he was in the living room working, so I didn't want to disturb him so when I had time off if I wasn't on a walk or something I just stayed in my room so I'd stay out of his way.

And just... I dunno. Obviously I'll want it to be a space my little sister feels comfortable in too, but like... I feel like I can maybe use this chance to make the place I live feel more like mine, you know? I could hang up the artwork my parents didn't want anymore but I did, I could put my CDs and books and DVDs on the shelving in the main living area, I could store things where I'd like to store them, buy a frame for my D&D poster and move it off my closet door and onto a wall, get a bookshelf/display case so I could actually put the things I've gathered over the years somewhere visible instead of keeping them in my closet and rotating them out once a year. I just feel like, okay, unfortunately yes, I do have to stay alive. With that being the case, I should at least try to make that life one I would enjoy, as far as it's within my ability.

#my mind is an odd place

[zeldadiarist]

Zelink Week 2022, Day Four

Hello! This @zelinkweekofficial prompt was inspired by one of the first fanarts I got for this AU, made by the one and only Emiisley (on Instagram). Also by that scene at Pemberley from 2006 P&P because the Hercules ref is blatant.

Not so fun fact: I’m an art conservator. Some people do kiss statues, specially religious ones. I’ve removed lipstick from some. Eww.

Day four: Statue (I Won’t Say I’m in Love)

An excess.

That's what Zelda thought immediately after seeing the life size, extremely detailed and lifelike sculpture in front of her that was hidden in Queen Ajah's garden in the Gerudo Palace while she was attending a protocolar soirée.

The curls in perfect disarray.

That obnoxiously perfect pointy nose, so not Gerudo, and oh so Hylian.

The chiseled - pun intended - cheekbones and jaw that contrasted with the fullness and soft lines of the lips.

The rich textures and elegant folds on the suit it wore.

The reflexive expression in its eyes.

Everything in it screamed a likeness to the original that was almost uncanny. Zelda felt if she touched the sculpture, it would magically turn to flesh and bone.

She wouldn't know if to kiss him or kick his ass if that happened, though (maybe the latter wasn't a good idea if she was wearing a vaporous beige colored tulle party dress. Not that the former was better either. Any art conservator would murder her for leaving lipstick marks on marble!). Link had stopped answering her messages for good a long time ago - almost two years - and their relationship would definitely take a lot to mend.

Nabooru and Rutela, the former the daughter of the party host and the latter, the Zora Princess, simply observed her expression of almost offended shock, trying their best not to laugh at her.

"I can bet a Zora scale she would be less impressed if it were the real Link," Rutela commented with snark.

"I hope your mom didn't spend taxpayer money on this…" she pointed out to Nabooru, circling the sculpture with her right index finger.

Marble was definitely not a cheap sculpting material, but the artist clearly splurged on… scrumptiousness - a thought Zelda saved to herself.

"She didn't, Peaches," she eased her small friend's sort of concern. "Master Pikango offered his work for free when my mom told her who the subject was. She intends to bring it to the royal hall when he turns twenty-one next month, or he accepts his title of Son of the Desert Wind."

Zelda raised a quizzical brow. “And Link was willing to pose for this?”

“Do you actually know Linny as well as you think?” Rutela asked the tiny Hylian with snark.

“People change their minds, as much as they can change their appearance.” She shrugged, her puffed sleeves making the gesture more dramatic. “So he could…”

“Of course he didn’t,” Nabooru cleared out. “It’s just based on pictures of him, just like the portrait you saw in the hall.”

“Oh, that one.” Zelda saved another thought for herself, realizing Master Pikango certainly had done a good job - his lips looked as kissable as the real ones, but she’d rather be dead than say that out loud. “He looks sleepy instead of dreamy, not gonna lie.”

The Zora and Gerudo princesses laughed loudly, knowing Zelda was right in her description, and returned inside the palace.

The rest of the evening was as every formal party she had attended since she was thirteen: structured and boring, so she was dying to sneak out, waiting for the perfect chance to do so. She was fortunate to be able to hide easily thanks to the average size of most guests - these were the occasions she was thankful for being short.

Her steps led her to the Gerudo Queen’s garden once more, where she almost had a heart attack seeing a large shadow looming over her - just to realize it was just the lonely sculpture of Link.

“You’re just as quiet as the original,” she said to it, “but definitely on the pale side.” She laughed at her own bad joke.

Under the moonlight, she took another look at the depiction of her estranged friend. Every perfectly rendered detail in it evoked a deep heartache in her, for it reminded her of the indifference he had shown the last times they met before they had their bitter last conversation.

She leaned against the cold marble with a bittersweet smile, wrapping her arms around herself longingly.

Usually, her companion whenever she snuck out of the events at Hyrule Castle was always Link. They talked and fooled around like the kids they were. She loved that.

And still, despite everything that happened between them, she loved him.

She would never admit to others, lest to her inner circle, but she would make an exception for her unexpected, silent companion.

“I miss you so much.”

#zelink week 2022 #zelink #modern zelink #golden chain au

[snezfics-n-shit]

Sicktember Day 8: Intense Coddling

Fandom: Ace Attorney Characters: Raymond Shields, Gregory Edgeworth

Notes: Raymond has always been aware of Gregory’s paternal instincts since the day he started working at Edgeworth Law Offices. For the most part, it’s not so bad, but when Gregory stops by after learning Ray has called in sick, it might just be the first time he needs some room to breathe. (Also this was actually really hard to find balance because I thought it was a cute concept but I don't think it would be in character for really any character to get into the "Intense" part, so I didn't have Gregory go too overboard, just a little too wrapped up in his paternal instincts. Just enough for a 'hey man you can relax a lil bit' ya know?)

     Raymond wasn’t sure how he survived his only class for the day. The congestion in his head made it nearly impossible to absorb whatever his professor was saying; he didn’t even feel up to eating the notes he had taken (after he returned home, of course, he wasn’t going to have anyone staring at him with his strange habits and destroy what little of a social life on campus he had) which meant he definitely was in no shape to stop by Mr. Edgeworth’s office. Not even Coldkiller X was doing a good enough job, after all the good he had to say about it during the investigation for Mr. Master’s case. How could he face Mr. Edgeworth knowing the good words he put in were all proven false? 

And so, he bit the bullet and called in sick, ready to spend the rest of the day watching TV on the couch. Since Piece Of Cake wasn’t airing anything new, at least until Mr. Master would surely be proven Not Guilty in the trial in December, Raymond wondered if it was worth a shot trying out that Signal Samurai show Mr. Edgeworth asked him about a few weeks ago. He seemed pretty excited about it and how much his son liked it; it must be pretty good if the kid he remembered only watching whatever adults were watching liked it so much. 

Raymond channel surfed for a good five minutes without a single appearance of anything resembling a signal nor samurai. He groaned and just gave up on this search, opting to just fall asleep instead of pushing himself any further, that is, until there was a knock on the door that forced him to get up and answer.

“Mr. Edgeworth?” Raymond managed to croak out something close to a greeting. He blinked, unsure if he was dreaming. “What are you doing here?”

“You called in sick for the first time in, well, as long as you’ve been my assistant.” Gregory explained. A look of concern made itself at home on his face. “Are you feeling okay?” 

“I’ve been better.” Raymond shrugged.

“Hmm…” Purely instinctively, Gregory felt Raymond’s forehead. “You're pretty warm, Raymond. Why don't you get yourself into bed and I'll make you some tea."

Raymond was rather surprised that Mr. Edgeworth was so quick to make such a generous offer, but it didn’t strike him as uncharacteristic of Gregory. After all, he always made sure Raymond was well-fed whenever he showed up at the Edgeworth residence (usually uninvited, but Mr. Edgeworth never seemed too bothered by that). Raymond quietly made his way to his bed, and while there was no TV or anything particularly entertaining for his easily-bored college student brain in his room, he had no complaints as long as Mr. Edgeworth was around.  

It wasn’t long before Gregory stopped by Raymond’s room, too early for the tea to be even close to ready.

“Just checking in!” Gregory announced with a smile. “Have you eaten anything?”

“No, not yet. I haven’t really been hungry.”

“Hmm,” Gregory frowned, “even if you don’t have an appetite, you still need to keep your strength up.” 

Raymond couldn’t even object before Gregory left. Always on top of things, wasn’t he? Raymond sighed and tried his hardest to prepare himself for whatever Gregory intended to cook for him, even if he wasn’t hungry, it still wouldn’t be very polite to reject his mentor’s cooking. 

He closed his eyes for what felt like a half hour, but was really less than ten minutes. Mr. Edgeworth was setting a steaming cup of tea carefully on a coaster that wasn’t on the bedside table this morning. 

“Here. There’s honey in it, for your throat, and I let it cool so it won’t burn your tongue.” Gregory smiled, proud of his efforts. “The soup is cooling right now, too. It’s a recipe an old friend of mine taught me.” 

"Thanks, Mr. Edgeworth." Raymond sat upright and took a sip of the tea; it didn't burn his tongue at all, just as Gregory said. “Are you sure you want to hang around here? I’d hate to hold you back from anything important.”

“What do you mean? The office is dead quiet, and Miles is still at school for another couple of hours.” 

“Huh,” Raymond thought the office was a lot more exciting before his shifts there, always with something he felt like he was missing out on. Slow day, he guessed. 

“Can I get you anything else? That medicine you like so much, maybe?”

“I already took some.” Raymond took another sip, pondering what would make this tea help him better than the pills he took earlier. Maybe a mentor’s tea was like a grandma’s cookies? He then wondered if Mr. Edgeworth knew how to bake cookies, and soon found himself spaced out as he continued drinking the tea. 

He might have never realized when the mug became empty if it wasn’t for Gregory’s proud announcement that the soup was ready. Where did he get that tray from?

“Here you go. I got you a smaller serving to start with, but there’s plenty more left.” Gregory placed the tray carefully over Raymond’s lap. 

“Wow, thanks!” 

The soup looked amazing, and with just one spoonful, Raymond knew it tasted just as good as it looked. He couldn’t help but be quick to eat more.

“Woah, woah! Careful there. You’ll make yourself sick.” Gregory warned.

“I mean, I already am, aren’t I?”

“Well, you’ll feel worse if you make your stomach hurt– oh, hold on.” Gregory had that look of instinct again and wiped Raymond’s cheek with a napkin, thinking nothing of it while Raymond had a growing expression of embarrassment.

“Mr. Edgeworth, um, I really appreciate you doing this for me, but…” Raymond hesitated, not wanting to hurt any feelings. “Maybe you could tone down, you know, um, that?”

“‘That…?’” It took Gregory a while to process what Raymond meant before he looked equally as embarrassed. After nearly a decade of being a father, and a single one at that, paternal instincts had embedded in his personality without him even realizing it. “Oh my god, I’m sorry. You’re right. I came in uninvited and I started cooking… I’ll be sure to buy back the ingredients and pay you back for them as well.” 

“No, no, it’s not that, I promised! I come over to your house all the time and raid your fridge without asking…” Raymond chuckled sheepishly, as did Gregory. “I just mean, you know, the napkin thing. I’m an adult in college, I promise I can clean my face myself.”

“Oh, of course, that too.” Gregory decided against pointing out all the times he’s spotted Raymond with frosting on his face when he’d raid the fridge for dessert. “I’ll give you some space to rest, okay? I won’t interrupt or anything, I promise.”

Gregory got up to leave, but Raymond called out to stop him.

“Hey! Wait, Mr. Edgeworth?”

“Yes?”

“If you make more tea, I’m totally fine with you waking me up, okay?”

“Just get some rest for now.”

#snez attorney #sicktember 2022 #my writing

[savrenim]

OK OK it might be a stupid question, but I can't access patreon because it's blocked in my country, and I wanted to know how long it'll take for wriu to get updated // published at the current rate

not a stupid question at all!

so wriu is very high on my to-do list, simply because it is so close to being done? like, there are five remaining chapters, and then four short epilogue chapters. one of said chapters and one of the epilogue chapters are totally done ready for posting. There Are 14270 Words Of Content Written Just Sitting There Waiting To Be Filled Out.

the problem is that effectively every chapter remaining ends on either a flat-out cliffhanger or just a very bad place to pause for several or more than several months, which means that I am attempting to write the entire fic before starting to post it. my life has also been a shitshow of "I need to get a job lined up before summer or my partner and I are about to be homeless" for the last several months so "sit down and finish a fic" really hasn't been a priority. writing only happened at all in all of a mental breakdown of 'wouldn't it be really funny to gonchpost a fic in the most popular anime fandom on ao3, nothing can go wrong there' as a valve of stress release

that being said there's been hope on several different prongs on the job front? which is also why I have been somewhat getting back to writing and actually able to restart my patreon instead of the several months I put it on hiatus this past fall/ winter. and whether or not people are voting for wriu in the 'I will write and post [x] words of this' monthly polls, it's something that I feel like I could probably complete the whole fic in a month or two tops if I sat down and concentrated on it, and I've really started feeling the "hnng it would be cool to finish my open fics" mood given that..... my only current finished fics are one-shots........

more financial stability would definitely allow me to write faster, because even if I do get a job lined up, there are the several months before said job starts and it means that I can spend time writing instead of looking for part-time tutoring jobs and recording shitty tutoring videos for math homework sites to make up the spare change, which is what a fair amount of my spare time is going to these days. so the current rate is "it isn't being written at all because there are other priorities." if I suddenly didn't have to do any of the other jobs I was picking up? my writing schedule would be much become:

finish ttbotr -- expected to take literally 2-3 days

finish wriu -- expected to take 2-3 months, and then post it over the course of another 1-2 months

my mental health vent time continues to be used to write aiimbp, which will continue to update sporadically with, like, 10-15k chapters as that happens. probably once or twice a month just given the amount of stress venting my brain would like to do.

but at this point the financial stability to concentrate on writing like that seems kind of like a pipe dream? so things just. aren't getting worked on.

#wheeeeeee #wriu #my writing #my life #I know that we're all super poor passing around a single $1 bill so like. literally no pressure to anyone to support me on patreon #but the reality of my situation is that fanfiction and even original writing comes AFTER financial stability #and 'I'm writing again' is way less 'I'm writing again' and way more 'HAHAHAHAHA I'M GOING INSANE'

[ohsilverplease]

to do/updates/journal entry

This week marks a year at my job, and although no one at work acknowledged it I have been reconnecting with some people on LinkedIn; mostly other people who also left OldCompany and are thriving. I am still struggling a lot with the job, mostly with the inanity of some of the decision-making and the fact that I don't have enough to do, but I am really glad that I moved and branched out. And now that I'm past the year mark I will not feel (as) bad about starting to explore my options.

C and I went canoeing on Sunday, and although there were a couple tense moments where he forgot/I didn't communicate that my body moves very differently from his, it was a really pleasant trip. My right arm in particular was so sore afterwards that I thought I had nerve damage; I think the muscle must have just been tightening around the nerve or something? It's better now but it did reinforce the idea that I need to be doing some weight training.

This afternoon the HVAC man is coming to check out my vents, which I think may have mold. (I mean, I know there is mold in the bedroom vent but I'm hoping it isn't all the way through the system.) It's actually the same guy that installed the system 9 years ago, and I was a reference for him for several years so I'm hoping he'll cut me a break on whatever maintenance he actually has to do. But it's just part of being a homeowner I guess. Plus it's forced a quick clean-up of the house, which is always a good thing.

Then tonight I am going to see my mom, who I haven't seen since she went into the hospital (she was only in for a couple nights). I will work from my parents' house tomorrow, but I'm mostly there because my dad has to work and mom can't take the dog out in her condition, and they don't have a fenced in yard. It will be nice to spend a couple days at home again, and I think we'll try to plan our Cornwall trip and start booking everything because I need to use my flight credit from 2020 ASAP.

I've been really trying to not buy so much stuff, especially clothes, and it's going pretty well. I did just get another pair of leggings, and two pairs of tights, because I live in those in fall and winter. In a couple weeks I'm going to a plus-size clothing swap and I hope to mostly get rid of stuff rather than actually swap. My two goals right now:

Only have one bin of out-of-season clothes (instead of the three I have right now). Swim stuff doesn't count because it's in an under-bed bag that doesn't take up any space.

2) Everything I wear to work/fun/out goes in the closet. Jeans and sweaters can stay in the drawers, but otherwise the dresser is for workout clothes, lounge wear, pjs. And I also have a dresser for underthings (including camis, which I wear daily) and cosmetics/grooming stuff.

I ate some pan dulce from the Mexican bakery for breakfast, and I had a linkedin learning training video on for a couple hours this morning because if I can't motivate myself to WORK-work I can at least listen to something productive. I do have a thing to work on from home tomorrow as well. Today I am going to finish our newsletter (except for the chair's section), do a load of laundry, and run the dishwasher before I leave.

There was a good twitter thread on bad/mediocre movies with great soundtracks, and someone brought up About A Boy, which I thought was a fine movie (I think most movies are fine) but definitely a great soundtrack so I am listening to Badly Drawn Boy this afternoon.

That's it!

ETA:

The hvac system is fine, just needs a tune-up after 9 years (and probably every year) and I need to wipe off the registers. I am going to start saving up to finish encapsulating the crawl space next year.

I thought of a way to have more clothes and also more room: take a handful of things to my parents' house so I have basics there whenever I visit. I had done this a while back and I wear those leggings and/or sweater literally every time I am home so this is a Good Plan.

#this is one of those should-be-a-diary posts #life maintenance

[kursed-arcana]

Takeuchi Naoko's Chocolate Christmas Review

Chocolate Christmas is an adorable romantic comedy that feels in tune with classic rom coms such as You Got Mail and classic Christmas movies, while also having that delightful Takeuchi touch. Reading this is a real treat, considering it was her first published work.

The two leads are actually in love with eachother without knowing it. After spending a lonely Christmas eve listening to the radio Ryoujo happens to catch the debut broadcast of a lonely hearts style show, Choclate Night. Learning that the DJ, Choco,a lso feels alone and that it's his birthday, she decides to deliver a Christmas cake to him and proclaims herself his first fan. Over the next year l, she regularly listens to his program and sets out to bring love to others, much like him. The story then picks up with her getting a job at the same radio station as him, hoping to meet him. She has fallen on love with the man herself, and her cake and declaration last Christmas ignited the same feelings in his heart. Without knowing it the two are drawn together, both in their everyday school life and their life at the station, all without initially realizing who the other person is.

Does this mysterious type of love ring any golden bells?(read the story for the reference!) That's right it plays out similarly to the initial love story of Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon! If you're a fan of the dynamic between Uasagi and Mamo them you'll probably be a fan of this story. Much like how sailor moon begins with them bickering, yet being drawn to eachother, so too does this love story.

Their status as the person special to the other, isn't revealed at the same, leading to some great romantic tension as they impact eachother in significant ways. Ryouko and Choco (real name Keiki) continue to influence eachothers behavior and build eachother up into better versions of themselves. By the end of the series, they have both developed a new found appreciation for eachother, Christmas Eve and the Chocolate Night program,

What can I say other then Takeuchi truly has that special gift to write a compelling romance. Its a shame she hasn't released a true blue long running rom com. This is a great holiday read and is sure to illicit feelings of satisfaction in her eternal fanbase.

Her art is as stellar as ever, and her character designs attractive and fashionable. There's not much to dislike in the story that gave this book its name.

I do recommend reading it carefully though. The fan translation available on mangadex is a little shaky in some spots and I think the dialogue was switched for the two leads on page 53 of one of the abailable translarions. At least it appears to be in the wrong word bubbles to me. I also recommend temporarily switching to a alternate translatiom due to the fact page 5 is missing from one, and instead features a page from near the end of the manga in its place. However I believe the fan translation is overall better on on the other. I would say the sites hosting the translations I recommend using but I don't think that's allowed.

Fingers crossed that we one day get an official release or an anime movie!

Now to briefly mention the second story in this vollume release. Wink rain is a fun bonus but I honestly don't have a lot to say. It's not bad, but it didn't really resonate with me personally. Part of my issue with it is the 2 fantranslations I found for it both appear to have a fair amount a faults. Or maybe it's just the way the story unfolds that sometimes makes things a little confusing. I found it less rom com, more teen angst over being the third wheel ina. Friend group after two parties get together. There is a love story unfolding for the main girl but it kind of ends anticlimactically. Or it felt that way to me due to the fan scanlation.

It's definitely worth a quick read regardless. It has great art as usual and cute characters!

#takeuchi naoko #naoko takeuchi #Chocolate Christmas #shoujo #romance #romcom #rom com #romantic comedy #nora ephron #christmas #christmas eve #ryouko honda #sailor moon #manga #shojo #hershey bar #hershey #chocolate #christmas story #you've got mail #christmas bells #manga review #review #analysis #christmas reading

[theluxuriansecret]

Diary Entry 5.28.2024

Dear Diary,

Life has been lifing hard as a motherfucker, not even completely in a bad way. Just lifing.

To start, I met my boyfriends family for the first time this weekend and it was a wonderful experience. I don't really spend time with family outside of my immediate family, so to witness his family and their dynamics them talking about their memories with each other was honestly really lovely to see. I also felt a little sad because I don't have any experiences like that and the only cousin I was ever close to got ripped away from my by family drama. Either way, I still had a really good time and his family was really funny and I really enjoyed being in their company.

Speaking on boyfriends, I (we) are still having some physical intimacy issues. It is worrying me that every time we have sex, we are drinking and we are not sober. TRUST the sex is consensual I just feel like afterwards I can't really remember the experience and I want to. I also think because of all the experiences with sex I never let myself be too into the moment, and would basically disassociate and forget about the next day. Avenel really changed me. I want to be able to remember all of it. The foreplay, to the actual sex. I just don't and it makes me sad. Overall the last time we had sex this weekend, it was probably our best ngl. I didn't finish, but thats okay. I realized I get really tense and I need to learn how to relax and be there. I won't solely blame avenel for my disassociating during sex though; my ex is 90% to blame as well. All the sex I had when I didn't want to. It sucks that these experiences can really find itself in new ones too, I hate it but it's a work in progress.

Work... UGH. Work is really about to start picking up and I am honestly kind of nervous. I know I got this and I know I am capable. I hate that I am dreading showing up for a job I wanted so bad. But I really am going to try this week to tap back into myself because I feel like I just need to be that bad bitch I was (I still am, but there is ALWAYS room for improvement)

Nowadays I find myself doom scrolling and letting the hours pass by. I do want to work more on living my life and just reading in my down time instead of being so quick to whip out social media. I definitely want to also get back into hobbies. I spend so much time on the phone with my bf (which I don't mind, I love him) but I do need to start doing other things that make me happy because I do not want to solely rely on him for my happiness, and I feel like not doing things outside of work and seeing your partner, it's an easy way to fall into the trap of codependence.

This week I plan on showing up for myself, so that not only am I a better person for myself, my partner, my friends, my family, and just being better over all.

Goodnight xoxo

#dear diary #online diary #secret diary #journal #secret journal #journaling #spotify #love #family #work #9 to 5 #xoxo #goodnight #scorpio sun #vigro moon #post grad problems #music #post grad life

[1watermelontea]

ask game fun times as your co-writer i have Experience i suppose aksld;fkjlas

i think i've mentioned this to you before but your dialogue is always pretty distinct—you use a bunch of less-common but still effective speech tags (is it a melon fic if no one “cedes” lmfao) + do a really lovely job of setting the different characters' speaking styles apart. also, just, the words you use for characters' speech (that makes no sense nine, oh dear)—little things like writing pearl saying "see ya" instead of "see you" help readers more vividly imagine her saying the line. i've started doing it a bit more since like. i've seen how you Make It Work but i didn't use to before bc i was always kinda paranoid it’d make it seem harder to read/just like… overkill?? dunno but i never see that problem with your dialogue

your actual prose is also pretty distinctive—I am Trying to put it into words but it’s just. a vibe. thanks brain. you’re really good at mixing it up with paragraph and sentence structure to keep things interesting; i do tend to miss that if i edit the day of writing lol but you’re really good at noticing that. also, ik you’ve mentioned not always knowing how to do descriptions and like. I find that funny bc you’re 10x more likely to open a scene with a landscape description than i am. the descriptions you do include are usually very movement-focused and have less to do with the characters body language and more to do with how they’re interacting with the environment. you’re also a fellow em-dash enjoyer, especially in dialogue, which makes character’s lines feel more natural + close to how people actually speak.

i keep talking about your dialogue but it’s just very fun!! you’re also like Not Afraid to juggle scenes with many characters which alskdjdhahal magic. i must spend ages poring over any character’s speech pattern before i dare write them and you just. do it

anyway you’re a v cool writer love everything you make 10/10

NIIIIIINNEEEE 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 you’re so kind

thank you yes dialogue is the one thing i’m confident in—i’ll say, shortening words is a thing i choose to do sparsely and only in circumstances where i think it is kind of necessary to get across the right vibe. accented speech in any capacity is finicky so if i think the reader will be able to read it in their voice without assistance, i leave it. like with stress’s scene in crosscurrents, although she even types in an accented manner, i didn’t do that in the text, because that would be difficult to read, and i know readers know how she speaks already. i use shortens to accentuate a tone or an energy first and foremost, unlike how i often see it used to denote accents. i think it works out well, and i’m glad you think so!

AND OKAY i have been opening with descriptions every time because i’m actively trying to practice, cos i basically ALWAYS opened every writing piece with dialogue for YEARS and im trying to get out of that habit 😅

& it’s so cool to know someone notices that i do a lot of variation in sentence lengths/types because that is a conscious decision i’ve been making for years. if i have too much consistency with it, i feel like it gets repetitive—with notable exceptions being that i use short simple sentences or sentence fragments repeatedly when trying to get across intense stress or fear or smth. go-to method for that lol because it mimics how my own mind organises disorganised thoughts

em dashes my beloved <3 i definitely have characters cutting themselves off or correcting themselves mid-speech pretty often or using filler words like “um” “like” “y’know” etc because i notice people use those a lot—i use those a lot—and no one’s ever going to be truly concise without a script. i gotta capture the girlfailure energy of these boys (gender neutral) not being able to get their thoughts across well

DO I REALLY USE CEDED FHAT OFTEN that’s so funny. the funniest thing, too, is that word is not even on my little list of speech tags i have pulled up when i’m writing. it just lives in my brain and comes out a lot, i suppose

lastly thank you i love writing scenes with many characters it’s always fun and i fear nothing 🥳 if i can write a scene with 14 characters present then i can do anything

love you nine <3 /p

you’re a sweetheart

#melon answers

[izdatazn]

S.U.I.T.S - Terran's Hidden War

TERRAN 12 - POISONED

I was granted a couple of weeks off from my responsibilities at SUITS. It was Tuesday, April 17th, 2079 when I returned to Japan to fully recover at home for the time being. However, my plans changed when I found out that Asuka had also returned to Japan on the last few days of my rest day. Consequently, I decided to spend the remaining days with her, knowing she would appreciate it.

I waited at our usual neighborhood cafe and chose to sit inside due to the intense heat instead of standing outside. Despite the sun gradually setting in the distance, today's weather was scorching. The middle of summer is unbearable for me, especially when the cafe's air conditioning doesn't work on such a day. When I saw Asuka approaching the cafe, I quickly left my table and joined her outside. We continued our conversation as we held hands and made our way towards the train station.

"What do you want to do tonight?" I asked as we entered the train station.

"Let's go to Asakusa and buy some couple gifts," Asuka suggested. "There's a popular ramen stall near Sumida River where we can have dinner."

"Ramen for dinner in this weather?" I questioned.

"That's what makes it special, Issei," Asuka replied with a smile. "Ramen is delicious no matter what weather it is." We boarded the train and stood near the doors as it continued on its route to the next station. "I hope Harshen Tigers make it to playoffs this year. They've been playing really well against tough teams."

"I think Fukuoka Hawks will take that remaining playoff slot since they were also runner-ups last year," I said confidently. "Yomiuri Giants will probably win this season like they did last year."

"I still have hope that my team will secure those remaining slots and take home the trophy," Asuka answered confidently.

The train came to a halt at Asakusa station, and we stepped off into a bustling crowd. Holding onto each other tightly, we maneuvered through the throngs of people, being careful not to get squished. Our ultimate destination was Nakamise shopping street, located in Sensjoi Temple. We spent the rest of the day leisurely strolling and admiring the shop displays until evening approached. Asuka surprised us with a lovely couple bracelet as a keepsake from our memorable day. Additionally, she purchased a scrunchy elastic hair tie and tied her hair up into a neat ponytail using it.

Despite the setting sun, the weather remained unbearably hot and humid. However, we refused to let the heat distract us from enjoying each other's company. Leaving behind the bustling shopping street, we made our way to the Sumida river bank where numerous couples and families had also gathered. She decided to treat herself to a refreshing melon soda while I purchased two dango snacks for us to share while waiting in line for the popular ramen stall.

Suddenly, someone familiar came into view - it was Sho with his study group! He noticed us as well and stopped to chat.

"Hey guys, you're back from overseas?" Sho asked.

"Yeah," I replied. "I needed a break from my New York internship and asked Asuka if she wanted to join."

"I took some time off too so I came home to spend Issei's day off with him," added Asuka.

"Always lovey-dovey," Sho teased.

"What about you?" I asked. "What are you doing here with them?"

"I was actually going to tell you guys and everyone else later, but..." Sho began. "My study mates and I landed jobs at a really nice company!"

"Congratulations!" We exclaimed. "It must have been really tough for you."

"It definitely was," Sho said as he showed us an amulet he received. "Thanks to this amulet, it helped me a lot during my interviews."

"Is that from one of your fangirls?" Asuka teased.

Sho didn't answer and quickly changed the subject. "Oh well, let me introduce one of my study mates." He motioned for someone to join us in line. "SHe's one of the foreign friends I mentioned a weeks ago."

"Oh, Mrs. Taylor I presume?" I asked.

"Yes, nice to meet you both, My name is Amy Taylor,” Amy replied as she shook our hands. "I've heard a lot about you guys from Sho."

"And we've heard about you too," I said.

"Anyway, we're going to celebrate with the others," Sho interjected. "Enjoy your date." They walked away from us.

“Is Show dating a foreigner?" Asuka inquired.

“Hideki and I asked about it a couple of weeks ago,” I said. “He seems to brush it off.”

After a few more minutes of waiting, we finally saw a couple leave the table by the riverbank. It was our turn next, so we took their seats. We started discussing and deciding on which type of ramen to try and share with each other. Asuka kindly offered some of her leftover drink, while we also asked for water to go with our ramen.

Asuka stretched for a moment and remarked, "The weather is finally pleasant." I nodded in agreement and said, "And the company is even better." She smiled at me and placed her hand on top of mine on the table.

"When are you leaving again?" Asuka inquired.

"In two days," I replied as I took a sip from my glass of water. "Are you departing then as well?"

She nodded affirmatively. "Next time when we have more time, we should go somewhere more romantic."

"Hokkaido?" I suggested.

Excitedly, she exclaimed, "I've been waiting for you to say that! It's the best place to visit during winter."

We observed the owner approach us with our dinner in hand. Asuka ordered tonkatsu ramen consisting of common ingredients such as eggs, garlic, soy sauce, and one type of meat. Meanwhile, I opted for miso ramen with additional meat and eggs. We relished each other's dishes while the owner made another appearance to deliver fried chicken, fried rice and gyoza.

As I slurped the noodle in my mouth and swallowed it down, I couldn't help but exclaim. “You're absolutely right! This is fantastic but I think we may have ordered too much.”

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," Asuka smiled. "I came here with Nanako and Kumiko a few months ago. I believe Kumiko recommended this place." Asuka took a piece of gyoza and took a bite before leaving the other half in my bowl. "It was after our second-year midterms. She even invited you and the others." She slipped some noodles into her mouth and started chewing.

Trying to recall those events, I said, "I don't remember any of that." I scooped up some fried rice and quickly devoured it.

"You guys were complaining about how poorly you did on your midterms," Asuka giggled. "Kumiko explained to me that you all played games during study sessions and pulled an all-nighter before exams."

"You're right," I laughed. "I think we decided to let off steam at my place, played games, and then just passed out after an hour. We were absolutely exhausted from the all-nighter.”

“I knew something felt off when you guys denied her invitation.” Asuka chuckled. “You guys would never deny invitation, especially delicious food.”

Feeling my phone buzz in my pocket, I checked it. It was from Saki but I didn't answer it. I declined the call and slid it back into my pocket. Asuka also heard her phone ring in her purse and checked it. She declined a call from Hina as well, and we continued with our dinner.

Suddenly, my phone rang again, this time from Saki calling me once more.

Answering the call on speakerphone mode, Saki cried out before I could even respond: "Kobayashi! Sho died of food poisoning!" We stopped mid-chew and listened as Saki repeated the situation again.

Kumiko's phone also rang at that moment; she hurriedly picked up Hina's call on speakerphone mode.

We heard Hina crying desperately: "Asuka, help! Sho died of alcohol poisoning." Asuka removed speakerphone mode on her phone and held it to her ear while trying to calm Hina down. I did the same with my phone, placing it against my left ear. I tapped the communication device on my right ear.

"Sho's body is being taken to Asakusa Hospital," Miyoung responded immediately. "I can feel a weakened heartbeat."

"Viktor and I will secure the perimeter around the hospital," Isabel spoke up.

“Saki,” I reassured her. “Sho has been taken to Asakusa Hospital. Asuka and I will head there and assess the situation.” I ended the call with her, as did Asuka.

“Whether it's food poisoning or alcohol poisoning,” I said. “We need to find out if foul play is involved or if there's something more going on.” We immediately left our table with our half-finished meals and headed straight to the hospital.

When we arrived at the hospital, it was under lockdown and controlled by SUITs. It wasn't just Sho; there were also numerous civilian casualties from the same restaurant bar he had visited.  I met up with Daisuke near the entrance, and he guided us inside.

"You got here before us," I remarked. "What's the current situation?"

"I apologize for cutting your date short, Asuka," Daisuke replied. "Kokoro and her team are currently inspecting the restaurant bar." He continued as we entered the elevator. "Before Sho reached the hospital entrance, he passed away. I examined multiple bodies before you arrived and noticed an unfamiliar substance not of this planet."

"What do you mean?" Asuka inquired.

"My team is currently analyzing the information I provided them. However, I need your assistance at this moment," Daisuke continued as we exited the elevator on the third floor. "Time is of the essence. We require additional personnel to facilitate a physical transfer to SUIT's infirmary within this hospital."

Asuka and I noticed Viktor guarding a room at the end of the hallway. Without hesitation, we entered and found Sho lying in bed, accompanied by his foreign friend Amy who was pronounced lifeless. In that room, Miyoung and Isabel were already waiting for us. Daisuke switched off the lights, allowing only moonlight to filter through the window. Miyoung, Isabel, Daisuke, and Asuka positioned themselves in different corners of the room while they patiently waited. Meanwhile, I stood in silence at its center observing them all.

"The more capable individuals we have assisting us, the less strenuous it will be," Daisuke softly explained. "Are you ready?" They solemnly nodded before tightly clasping their hands together. The room gradually disoriented and transformed into another location - an experience witnessed but difficult to explain with my own eyes. Suddenly, we found ourselves transported to a chaotic SUITs infirmary as peace gave way to pandemonium.

Daisuke quickly rearranged the beds with assistance from SUITs staff who had joined him. Miyoung and Isabel hurriedly left the room, leaving me alone with Asuka.

I noticed her becoming lightheaded with blood seeping out of her nose. Acting swiftly, I ran towards her before she could fall forward.

"I've got you," I whispered reassuringly. "Are you okay?"

"It never gets easier doing a physical warp," she chuckled weakly.  “You think the owner threw our food away?”

I collected the remaining food from the restaurant table, while the owner noticed our hurried departure and took care to keep it warm and safe. As Daisuke, Kokoro, and I worked hard to revive Sho and his friend, I paid close attention to every detail. After returning with the food, I joined Asuka in the SUITs cafeteria where we quietly enjoyed our meal while waiting for news. In an attempt to ease tension, we engaged in light conversation about various topics to pass the time, which proved quite challenging.

Suddenly, Asuka spotted Hideki rushing into the cafeteria and joining us at our table. Without wasting any time, Hideki spoke urgently. "Kumiko, we were on our way to Malaysia when Hina called me in tears saying that Sho died from poisoning. We immediately turned back and came home. Nanako, Ren, and Kumiko are with Hina and Saki."

"We're still waiting for updates," I said as my wrist device alerted me with a ping. Tapping it revealed a holographic figure of Daisuke.

"It's good that you guys are here," Daisuke said. "Sho and his friend are alive and stable thanks to specialized drugs used against Obitus Clarus poison. However, other customers who frequented the restaurant weren't as fortunate." He went on to explain that SUITs had reviewed CCTV footage which showed a suspicious person disguised as a waiter sneaking into the kitchen area. We watched as this employee discreetly injected something into both drinks and food items before calmly exiting through the back door.

"That waiter has a red scarf around her neck," I interrupted. "So you mean…"

"That's right," Daisuke responded. "Raquel used poison to instantly kill anyone in that restaurant." He continued by assigning missions: "Asuka, your immediate task is to complete Kumiko's mission but be aware that Raquel is likely heading to Malaysia. Kobayashi, the same goes for you. You're off to London to meet a SUITs agent regarding something suspicious."