#demon!Aziraphale is kind and thoughtful and sucks at demoning

[camilleflyingrotten]

There's a universe where Aziraphale was the one who fell because he thought the suggestions box was a great idea and Lucifer encouraged him doing so... Angel!Crowley, seeing the cherub's fall, decided to never question God (at least not in front of her)

#good omens #good omens 2 #aziraphale #crowley #demon!aziraphale #angel!crowley #reverse roles #They're still very much like themselves #demon!Aziraphale is kind and thoughtful and sucks at demoning #he has a passion for demonic books tho #angel!crowley is chaotic af #and Ofc they put fear of God in everythg they own bc it’s funny #digital art #my art

[dalliancekay]

Crowley is not stupid, Aziraphale is not an idiot and other assorted thoughts

Or how nothing is black and white and my bullying home and religious trauma is a metaphor not a direct translation to what our immortals experience. And vice versa. -

I don't know what it's like to hang out on Earth since the beginning but I'm sure it is richer than we can imagine we could imagine.

Our two favourite, currently men shaped beings, are captured for our storytelling enjoyment when their time on the Green Planet is about to be cut off.

One has been thrown out from their family home ages ago, we are not sure for what misdemeanour exactly, and is now working for a dumpy place where they don't mind inflicting pain if you misbehave nor do they care whether a trial is fair. So, a mafia, basically. And our hero is tasked with collecting new additions to the unhappy family on top of that. He doesn't much care for it and seems to do the bare minimum only.

The other has been sent to the young planet to guard the indigenous humans and told something vague about an Ineffable Plan that will all work out when there's a War in a few thousand years, which 'our, the Good, side' will win and everyone will be happy. Just tell the humans to behave and if they don't kick up a fuss, we will welcome them Here.

And Here is a vast, empty place, well lit, with busy, lonely bees working and filing, and checking, making sure rules are in place and are followed as written and everything is ticking over; the higher ranks' punishments rare but swift. Everyone has learnt a lesson when half of them were unceremoniously fired when someone said some nasty things about the CEO. So things might not be perfect but at least if you stick to your tasks you will be left alone.

So, we meet demon Crowley, whose family threw him out as mentioned above and his job sucks and he hates it but it's not hard and his placement is rather a nice place so he does his best to not to lose the position. Sometimes he wonders what is the point of it all and that's when he runs into his adorable archenemy, the angel Aziraphale.

Aziraphale was sent to Earth and given a job, one that doesn't seem to quite work out (or does it?) as he follows his heart instead of the rules almost immediately but surprisingly is not punished for it by the CEO. So he spends his time helping the natives, following orders he receives as best as he can and when he runs into his archenemy the demon, he feels a certain strange tingle and flutter in his heart at the sight of the rulebreaker.

They have done a fair job of it for 6 millennia. They avoid getting fired and even manage to take on each other's tasks to lighten up the load and the (pointlessly) random business trips (does anyone Up or Down there ever heard of geography?)

When we meet our heroes in present day-ish, they've been told the End of the World sequence has been triggered and life as they know it is about to end. 

How do they feel about this? Well. Our demon is appalled. He knew this was coming. But not really. It's just something to sort of work towards right? After all, the Earth has been developing rather nicely. The alcohol got better, the food for his Angel, the music got interesting, the clothes tighter... He's having a good time. Yes, he pushes his luck sometimes. Sleeps too long, gives in and saves someone instead of ruining them. He gets into all kinds of tangles to spend time with his crush. He is rash but he's not stupid. He knows what's at stake. But he's angry. And sometimes that's hard to contain. He does go too fast. But Aziraphale is always there to catch him. And if he can't, he waits and worries and is there when Crowley returns.

So about the angel? He knows he should dislike the demon. He knows he should follow his directives. He knows he should not meet or talk to Crowley. And what does he do? Gets himself arrested in his fanciest silks so they can have crepes when the world and humanity is bringing them down with their relentless hate towards each other. He puts on a magical performance when the demon fails to deliver some contraband liquor in the midst of the Blitz bombing.

And, now. Here's the funny bit. Angel has gotten himself a part time job in the past few centuries. He's had a few before, but not quite like this. He has a place he loves now. A safe, cluttered place where a demon is welcome. It's not much like his original home. You could say... it's rather quite the opposite of it. In any case, he never really got on with his managers but tbf he likes his job. It makes the humans happy and he loves the humans and loves making them happy.

He also does not want the world to end. But his fam has always told him that once this bit is over, an even better one will come along. What that bit is was never quite explained but then, asking questions was always frowned upon and rather vehemently so. He's noticed this from the get go... unlike a red headed angel he once knew...

What is my point?

That neither Crowley or Aziraphale are wrong. Or right. Doing the correct thing. Or not. Me. You. We come from broken families, we have been friends and lovers with bad people, we have escaped religions, cults, home countries. Lies. Rules. Hate. We have fought for our love to be recognised as love.

Crowley and Aziraphale live in a world where Heaven and Hell is real. Where Satan rules over a smelly place with mould on the walls and God is engrossed in her sci fi novels and seems to have forgotten about Her Earth project.

You can't call Aziraphale stupid for believing in God. She exists. Whether She has a plan is open to debate, sure. She seems to have claimed so at some point, but then, we all change don't we. Maybe She changed Her mind and forgot to tell the upper management. Maybe She thought She didn't need to spell out all the details to them so they kill Job's kids. Maybe She was vague on purpose much in the style of King Henry II and Thomas Beckett.. Anyway. Back to Aziraphale, our angel on Earth. He is kind, has hope, wants to believe after thousands, millions of years. And this is not stupid. Aziraphale does and is brave, courageous things. And he's slowly learning to trust himself more too. To know the difference. It started with the sword and his overthinking on the giving away of it. He made a decision to protect Job's children. Risked Falling for it. Trusted the demon over his bosses. Not because Heaven is WRONG. Yes, they are. But the thing is they don't care. And Aziraphale does. He cares about humanity. And he cares about Crowley.

Nobody noticed (or did they) how our two field agents fell in love (neither did they tbf) and how fiercely they guard the little secret they share. The smiles and the glances, the small flowers of hope that things can change one day.

And they did change. Plan A, War and Destruction, did not work out. The youngster they sent from Below decided he likes the new place and refused to ruin it. They both learned things. They are still learning. The demon how to trust again. The angel how to question things.

So what's next? The place Above is going to send their trusted agent. He followed the rules last time seamlessly. It did not quite work out but no problem, they'll send Him out again. With a rather more final arrangement.

In the meantime, the disgraced and rather troubling Earth agents have been lying low. Unsure of their places and overall safety, they went on with their lives as best as they could until the angel happened to help his former boss run away with his paramour from the other side and is visited by the Big Boss.

Big Boss wastes no time and suggests to our angel he should come back Upstairs and take the place of his disgraced superior. To use his skills. To be better looked after I suppose. New opportunities. To be close to the big upcoming decisions or - under a close watchful eye.

Aziraphale, not surprisingly, refuses. He does not want to put any of his 'skills' to any good causes but his own. But then. THEN. He is not so subtly made aware that his dangerous liaisons with the other side have been noted and his help in the latest Complication might not go unpunished if he's not careful.

And this job offer suddenly seems FAR more sinister than it did 15 minutes ago. Especially when it is handed over with a coffee (that he does not much like) from a place called Give Me Coffee Or Give me Death.

Our angel goes home to cautiously tell his demon about the trouble they are in and his world comes crashing down around him.

This post turned out to be completely different to what I originally wanted to write. Is there a point? You decide.

Aziraphale's decision makes complete sense, he loves the Earth, his home and Crowley over and above everything else. And he WILL fight for their safety. AND the humans in the process if he can.

This is my very first Tumblr post. Way to go me etc. Please be kind.

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #neil gaiman #season 2 #ineffable husbands #ineffable divorce #armageddon #shower thoughts #kaypost

[ineffable-endearments]

The Crow Road and Good Omens: Further-Out Thoughts

Here are a few more thoughts; they're more interpretive yet than the ones in my original post about The Crow Road.

I see some similarities between Prentice and both Aziraphale and Crowley.

Prentice feels this need to believe there's something beyond this life, in large part because this life can be ended so quickly and so easily, and it isn't fair. Throughout the novel, he is never very interested in organized religion; his interest in spirituality is truly about the feeling that there has to be a deeper meaning to existence than this one life.

Likewise, I tend to interpret Aziraphale as willing to consider that the people who make up his institution are fallible, but still stuck on the idea that Heaven is performing an essential role: someone should be up there Doing Good, or, more accurately, encouraging people to Do Good. He has reservations about the existing spiritual establishment and how reflective of truth it is, but he still has this feeling that there has to be a greater power and a greater meaning that can be given to people, himself included, because otherwise, what would be the point?

Then again, there is a nonzero amount of Crowley in Prentice, too (and I know the point is that everyone has a little of each). Prentice is a college-aged young man trying to figure himself out in a world that can be profoundly unfair, and he wants to be allowed to experiment with the idea of life after death. Considering perspectives different from one's parents is part of growing up, after all. Kenneth is determined to steer his sons toward a specific worldview, and as much as Kenneth's perspective on spirituality is supported by the narrative, his stubbornness is also ultimately the thing that gets him killed. Prentice observes his mother's hands-off approach to ideology may have ultimately been more effective.

Doesn't this sound a little familiar? Prentice wants to be allowed to question, and he isn't willing to just shrug and accept unfairness without an argument. When he can't find satisfactory answers, he also tends to drown his anxiety and depression in alcohol and other substances.

All in all, I feel we may have seen the conflict between Crowley and Aziraphale playing out in Prentice's character development; they are the angel and demon on his shoulder, as usual. But the conflict was resolved in the way that I think and hope Crowley and Aziraphale's will be on a grander scale. Prentice ended up having to surrender his philosophy, especially the life-after-death stuff, but then his deep need for a sense of meaning was satisfied much better by finding that meaning here on Earth.

There's also an interesting interaction between the two stories in relation to the afterlife. Namely, The Crow Road takes place in a universe that presumably works just like ours, while we know for sure that in Good Omens, there is an afterlife of one kind or another. We can't be sure how it works, but we've seen human characters in both Season 1 and Season 2 maintain their consciousness after death. I wonder if maybe in the world of Good Omens, human mortality is somehow being exploited by the higher-ups?

Anyway, as a result of this difference, Good Omens also has a special opportunity with the "death doesn't give life meaning - life gives itself meaning!" message. Its main characters are immortal. The book already subverts the whole "oh, being immortal sucks, everyone eventually wants to die" trope by portraying Crowley and Aziraphale's motivation to maintain their Earthly lives instead of starting Armageddon. Season 2 added depth to that, and Season 3 has an opportunity to fully flesh out why exactly life on Earth is where meaning is created even when there is no time limit, even if people don't have the inevitability of death looming over their heads.

Another thought: something a little ironic in The Crow Road is that the incident that led to Kenneth's death "should," theoretically, have made Prentice believe in higher powers, if it was really about that. It certainly convinced Hamish. However, the whole conflict between himself and his father was more about the meaning Prentice sought, so instead, it pushed Prentice toward Kenneth's ideology.

I am wondering if this points toward an event that Aziraphale "should," theoretically, take to mean that Heaven is right or all-powerful or otherwise can't possibly be defied, but which will be the very thing that convinces him the entire system is wrong.

Finally, @loverdosis brought up the great point that memory and history are also major conceptual themes in The Crow Road. In The Crow Road, memory and history give the characters their sense of identity. Prentice also mentions it as one way people can achieve a kind of continuity that doesn't infringe on the importance of life itself. And all of that meshes with Good Omens. So far, Gabriel's plot has involved a very strong focus on memory issues, and through that, we've seen that there is something going on with Crowley's memory as well, although exactly what it is - how much of his memory is missing, who took it, whether he can or wants to get it back - is uncertain. Beelzebub described Gabriel's memories as "All your...you," implying that memories are the majority of what gives Gabriel his identity. The memory wipe punishment is very much a death sentence.

After consideration, I would not be surprised to see memory make a roaring comeback as a theme in Season 3. It could even bring themes of identity and purpose with it.

#good omens #the crow road #go3 speculation #s3 speculation #go 2 spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #go s2 spoilers #good omens book club

[geekthefreakout]

So, I've been having this thought.

Crowley, perhaps post-bookshop divorce, is sitting in a pub or a coffee shop and the server calls his name, but they say it wrong.

They pronounce it like with the "ow" sound, like in Supernatural. And Crowley, mildly miffed, is like "where did you get that from?"

And the server is a Supernatural fan and explains that there's a demon named Crowley-like-owl-not-crow who helps stop the apocalypse.

And Crowley is like "imagine that. That's weird. Say more."

And the server explains a bit. How SPN!Crowley is this demon who is aware that should the big fight happen, he won't be counted among the winners regardless of which way it goes, and he just wants the world to keep on as it is, so he joins forces with the Winchesters and their renegade angel to stop it. He becomes King of Hell after to fill the power vacuum (and here GO!Crowley gives a bitter scoff) and he is both a villain and a hero and sometimes neither of those things.

Crowley inquires more about the angel, Castiel, and the server enthusiastically describes him. They remark that Crowley(spn) and Castiel have a fun dynamic, because they hate each other but also have to work together, because they're in love.

Crowley looks dumbfounded, and of course the server can't know why, but they do clarify that they are in love with Dean, not each other. Dean being a stand-in for humanity, of course, which is how the show runners wanted you to see it.

"But then at the end they FINALLY let Cas be all the way gay for Dean. Like, a decade of subtext and queer baiting denial, and FINALLY with 2 episodes left in the whole show, they let Cas tell Dean that he cares about humanity because he cares about Dean. Like, he actually gets to tell him he's in love with him."

A pause.

"Well, and then he gets sucked directly to Turbo Hell, so. That sucked. It went canon in THE most homophobic way possible, which is kind of on brand for the show--"

"Turbo hell?????? What is that, the tenth circle?"

"Oh, the place that angels and demons go when they die. The Empty. They don't get an afterlife, they just sleep forever and dream about the bad stuff. It's pretty awful, but Cas gets rescued from their off screen by the end so at least that's something-"

"What about the demon?"

"Oh, Crowley-like-owl? He got killed off for good at the end of season 12."

Crowley-like-crow stares through his sunglasses and the server elaborates again. For some reason, they haven't been called to other tables for anything the entire time they've been speaking.

"It was a good death, I think. He died to save the boys and trap Lucifer in another dimension- it's complicated. But he got to say that he actually hated being King of Hell, and he hated Lucifer, and he got to go out on a good deed. I think the actor was tired of the writers playing around with the character's arc. Walking back development, never committing to what they wanted to do with him... And that led to Crowley being kinda inconsistent and underappreciated. So he asked to be killed off and he walked away from the show."

"Huh. Shame, that."

"Yeah, everyone missed him. There are some characters that I REALLY wish he'd gotten to meet. And I also wish that he got a little more love."

"He was a demon. Love's not exactly in their repertoire."

"It's not supposed to be. It was, though. Cas practically invented free will because he loved Dean. And I guess Crowley also didn't fit into the mold God had set for him, either."

"I suppose God's Plan is... Ineffable in the show."

"I mean. Kinda at first? But the last season God is fully the bad guy."

"WHAT??"

Anyway, Crowley watches Supernatural and has no idea if he hates it or not. He probably does. But somehow, Crowley-like-owl and Castiel and their often unappreciative charges make his heart ache. He deliberately notes all the ways that Castiel is nothing like Aziraphale, thank you very much. He supposes he's glad that Adam never turned either of them into action figures.

He watches and he tries not to wish Aziraphale was watching with him.

#good omens #supernatural #sam writes stuff #idk just had this thought #crowley good omens #crowley spn #destiel #drowley #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #aziracrow

[mimisempai]

Their most precious treasure

Summary

Hearing Aziraphale explain the tradition of giving gifts to Muriel at Christmas, Crowley recalls another explanation given by Brother Francis years before. 

Notes

For @parttimefairy in exchange for your donation Alzheimer’s research UK

Prompt requested : "During Christmas time, Crowley and Aziraphale are spending time together preparing the festivities (possibly as Nanny Ashtoresh and Brother Francis for Warlock.) During that, they beginn to bicker about the meaning of Christmas and the purpose of gift giving."

INEFFABLE ADVENT CALENDER

On Ao3

Rating G -  1017 words

"Where did the tradition of giving presents at Christmas come from?"

Crowley paused in the doorway of the bookshop as he heard Muriel's question to Aziraphale.

The angel's words transported the demon back in time to when Warlock had asked them the same question.

"Where does the tradition of giving presents at Christmas come from, Nanny?"

Nanny Ashtoreth knelt down beside the little boy and began to explain, "That, my dear boy, goes back a very long way. The ancient Romans celebrated the feast of Saturnalia, where they gave thanks for the abundance provided by Saturn, the god of agriculture. The festivities were celebrated with a sacrifice and a public banquet, followed by private gifts, continuous parties, and a wild atmosphere where social rank was eliminated."

"What does that mean, social rank was eliminated, Nanny?"

Nanny Ashtoreth smiled softly and replied, "Here, for example, it would mean that there would be no more differences between you, me, your parents, and everyone who lives here. Even between me and Brother Francis."

"What kind of heresy are you telling him, Nanny?"

Nanny Ashtoreth watched as Brother Francis knelt and took little Warlock's hand. 

"We give each other gifts in memory of the wise men who laid gold, frankincense and myrrh at the feet of the infant Jesus."

Crowley shook his head and interrupted, "That was much later. The day on which gifts were exchanged was known as Sigillaria and took place on December 19th. Valuable gifts were at odds with the spirit of the season, so the Romans exchanged more modest items such as candles, seasonal figurines, and other gifts intended to amuse or terrify other guests. Etiquette dictated that the more modest the gift, the stronger the bond of friendship it represented."

"This sucks!" exclaimed Warlock.

Aziraphale smiled broadly, "Oh, then you prefer the story of the wise men."

"No, none of those stupid stories, I prefer the Santa Claus story we heard in school, it's much cooler."

The boy ran off under the eyes of Nanny and Brother Francis, who looked at each other in disbelief.

"So in the end, you see, there are many different meanings behind this gesture of gift-giving, but what I retain after all this time is..."

Crowley was pulled from his thoughts as the angel finished his explanation to Muriel.

The demon approached and Aziraphale, attracted by the movement, turned his head toward him before continuing softly, "It doesn't matter what reason tradition gives or what tradition you choose to follow, the important thing is that you give it with your heart, so even if it's a flower found on the side of the road, if you give it with your heart, the person you're offering it to will consider it their most precious treasure."

Muriel nodded and said quietly, "Thank you, I know what to do now."

Aziraphale asked gently, "What do you mean?"

She replied, "About Christmas presents. I know how to choose what to give you all."

Muriel took their coat and Aziraphale watched them go with a smile on his face as the demon approached him.

Crowley asked quietly, "Theirr most precious treasure, eh?"

The angel nodded and fumbled in his jacket pocket before pulling out a small cloth pouch and holding it out to Crowley. 

The demon took it, untied the string that held it closed, and turned it over in his open palm. A small, dried white flower fell out.

He looked sharply up at Aziraphale and whispered in wonder, "You've kept it all this time."

Aziraphale approached and, placing his hand on the demon's, said softly, "Of course, one of my most precious treasures."

"What's that on your hand, Nanny?" asked Brother Francis.

Taking off her snow-covered cloak after helping young Warlock shake the snow from his boots, Nanny Ashtoreth turned to Brother Francis and said in the same gentle voice she sometimes used with Warlock, "As we were returning from our morning walk, I saw this little white flower sticking out of the snow and I thought of you."

Nanny held out the little white flower to the gardener, who gently took it.

Brother Francis asked, "You thought of me? But... why?"

"A white flower that manages to grow in spite of the snow made me think of a certain angel who manages to move forward in spite of adversity."

Nanny Ashtoreth turned to take the young warlock to the kitchen for a snack, unaware that Brother Francis' puzzled gaze was following her.

Aziraphale continued, "The more modest the gift, the stronger the bond of friendship it represents. That's what you said. So of course it's become one of my most precious treasures."

He carefully placed the dried flower back in its pouch and slipped it into his jacket pocket.

He barely had time to raise his head before the demon cupped his face in his hands and, bringing his face close to the angel's, murmured against his lips, "Every time I think it's not possible to love you more, and every time you prove me wrong by doing something adorable like this.

Aziraphale chuckled softly and replied a little sheepishly, "But all I did was preserve this little flower."

Crowley replied, "A little flower given to you. By me. And you kept it all this time."

Then he pressed his lips to the angel's and kissed him tenderly.

When they parted a few moments later, Aziraphale said with a playful twinkle in his eye, "The more modest the gift, the stronger the bond of friendship it represents. So I've decided not to give you anything for Christmas this year."

The demon raised an eyebrow, "Angel?"

The angel continued, his expression still playful, "Well, yes, the modesty of the gift is exponential to the strength of the friendship, since I love you immeasurably, nothing is the most modest gift I can give you."

This time it was he who kissed the confused mouth of his demon.

But at the same time, who could disagree with the angel?

There was nothing more precious to offer each other than their mutual love.

Their most precious treasure.

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Ineffable Growing Love series : (After season 2) 

Part 1 Story 1-99

Part 2 Story 100-?

Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here (Before season 2)

#good omens #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable boyfriends #aziraphale #crowley #good omens fanfiction #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale #GOS2Spoilers

[nightgoodomens]

"I go along with Hell as far as I can"

-> not only do we see that the sole reason Crowley does good things is that he wants to actually help people, risking torture and probably even worse to do it, but he tells us so himself. He's a quiet quitter and always tries to get away doing the bare minimum like tweaking reports to head office, the Arrangement, and taking credit for evil stuff humanity does, but the good things he does (the ones he does by going against direct orders included) aren't to spite hell but because he's good and wants to help/save/protect people. It's canon, it's shown and told us. You're not going crazy, anon.

As nightgoodomens said, you should start blocking to curate your fandom experience, and in general stay out of the tags. There are still way more people actually seeing the show and the characters like Neil intended us to. Don't let bad faith takes and people blatantly ignoring canon facts get to you <3

Thank you for this anon, I realised I kind of generalised my answer instead of answering the direct question from anon 😅

Some more thoughts:

Crowley is also the one who convinced Aziraphale to save the World in the first place and gave him all the selfish reasons to convince him. Crowley wanted to do it without convincing. People say oh but Crowley is the one who wants to run away at the end - Crowley is the one who faces eternal torture every time something goes wrong to the point he wanted Holy Water (death: whether for people who’d attack him or himself) as insurance - and people are bashing him for having self perseverance when he thinks this is the end? Choosing Alpha Centauri with Aziraphale instead of watching the world burn? He begged Aziraphale to go with him too instead of forgetting about him. Especially taking into consideration that Crowley wasn’t told the whole story because Aziraphale hid it from him, so he thought this is it. Oh but Aziraphale does not runaway - Aziraphale knew more and has never been tortured in his life. He’s been protected by Crowley from the moment he thought he fell for the first time and Crowley refused to take him to Hell. The worst Aziraphale got was a dismissive boss and a shitty note. People really need to start understanding that while both Heaven and Hell suck, they suck significantly in a different way. There is a difference between being stuck in a corpo with shite management that most of us had the experience of, and being stuck in a job that will torture you if you do something wrong.

So the fact that Crowley risks himself constantly for humanity and Aziraphale says a lot about how good he is. So many times he could have chosen the easy way out - just stop doing the good stuff. Be the quiet quitter and do the bare minimum for Hell because he hates it and he isn’t like them and live a sort of chill life. Why risk the peace with doing good stuff? Because he is good.

He fell because he disagreed with the end. He even talks back to God and tells him to stop testing people so much. He cares for humanity. He’s the one who gave people free will. He’s the one who saves them by going against Hell when the Bookshop gets attacked. He went against Satan! He takes care of humans after the attack at the Bookshop. He keeps on taking care and saving Aziraphale and humanity.

Because he’s good.

The major point of the show is to show that nothing is black and white. They literally say it. So Crowley being better and purer as a Demon than all those Angels combined is the highlight of it all.

#NightGoodOmens answers

[zeldahime]

Highway to Pail Day 4

[Day 1] [Prev] [Next] @do-it-with-style-events

February 4: I don't trust trees. They're shady.

Pestilence was making her way through the countryside again, and it rather dampened Crowley's mood. The bloody blasted plague was sweeping through England, making it difficult and depressing to travel even for a demon who wasn't able to contract human diseases, since nobody but him knew that and revealing otherwise was likely to get him discorporated. There was also the matter of the damned (literally) horse, a great hulking black stallion that despised Crowley and was despised in return. Blackie had tried to throw Crowley twice in the last hour, and had only failed because Crowley had miracled himself to the saddle.

He had to go tempt someone in Hull, of all the godforsaken places. Surely just living in Hull was punishment enough; no need to bring eternity into it.

Since he was heading north anyway, he figured he might try to make it over to see how Manchester was coming along this decade, and since that made an extended trip, he checked to see if Aziraphale needed him to pick up anything while he was out.

"Ah, a new set of orders just arrived for me this morning!" Aziraphale had said, bustling over to his desk. "Well, let's see. I've a spot of divine ecstasy to deliver in Hull from the last set; I've been putting it off but you know the poor lady must deserve it: living in Hull is trial enough for the soul. Hmm, Plymouth--ah, American Plymouth rather--, Swansea, Geneva... oh, here, there's one in Lincolnshire as well, you'll like this one, dear. 'Divine inspiration to more accurate human understanding of the underlying laws of the universe," that's much more your area than mine I should think, natural sciences and all that."

It was indeed much more Crowley's area; he liked hanging out with scientists and philosophers, the kind of humans who asked clever questions about how the universe worked and why. Aziraphale always gave him the good divine inspirations, cloaking it in ignorance of the physical laws that had always been second-nature to Crowley, though Crowley knew Aziraphale had enough understanding to carry them out himself. It was one of the reasons the Arrangement worked so well, he thought; they did each other little favors like this, gave each other jobs that were a bit fun.

And so here Crowley was, fighting with a horrible horse in the middle of nowhere during a plague year looking for a sheep farm. This part was not fun. This part, to be very clear, totally sucked.

Thankfully, Aziraphale had already interpreted Heaven's shaky-at-best approximations at where things on Earth were actually located, and given Crowley an address and a decent map of the area, so he located the sheep farm -- Woolsthorpe Manor, the map said -- with little difficulty aside from Blackie's enmity and a general sense of unease and malaise in the air.

He dismounted, setting Blackie to graze and to behave himself under threat of being sold for meat and glue, and took a moment to case the place. Sheep and pastures; biggish house and a bunch of sheds; orchard with some fruit trees. Aziraphale's orders hadn't been very specific about how the intervention should be achieved, but there'd been some balderdash about natural beauty and the circular nature of God's Plan For Life On Earth, and Crowley noticed an apple tree on the edge of the orchard, near to a window; he bookmarked that thought.

The target was called "Yitzhak the Lizard" in Aziraphale's orders, so he and Crowley supposed he was most likely called Isaac, but the family living at Woolsthorpe Manor was called Ayscough. Crowley suspected it would take a bit of detective work to figure out which servant Isaac was, and was still deciding how to approach when a young man in his mid-twenties jumpscared him.

Introduced himself as Isaac Newton, too, so that solved that.

Using just a touch of a glamour to make his presence seem a bit more natural and less like a potential vector of disease, Crowley chatted with the young man for a good while. Isaac was the grandson of the widow Ayscough, a student at Trinity College, sent home due to the plague, interested in optics and the laws of motion and, more than anything else in the world, mathematics. He showed Crowley his notebook full of notations, letters with little dots over them equaling other letters, which Crowley couldn't follow, and explained the logic of it, which Crowley could. Heaven, he thought, had wanted Aziraphale to arrange a divine intervention into Isaac's mathematics, but Isaac had that well in hand already: it was well beyond what anyone else on Earth had thought up, and he was still a student.

As evening drew in, young Isaac invited Crowley to supper and shelter for the night, which he accepted politely, and to board Blackie in the stables, which he accepted with vicious glee. Making Blackie someone else's problem for a bit always put a little varnish on their souls while also relieving him of needing to lift a finger or deal with the damn horse.

As they passed through the orchard, Isaac ran his hand through the leaves of low-lying branches. A gardener yelled across the field not to disturb the apples, to which the young man just smiled.

Well. Crowley knew a thing or two about apples and Plans, and the kid had wondered why things move the way they do.

As they passed under a lovely straight Flower of Kent, Isaac Newton disturbed the leaves and a large, green, perfectly round apple miraculously imbued with insight into the observation that "things fall down" fell out of the tree and smacked into his skull.

As he stopped to rub his head while Crowley tried not to laugh at him, the young man asked: "I wonder how far an apple could fall? Not just from the tree, that is, but why not from as high as the moon?"

Crowley just smiled enigmatically, which Isaac took as encouragement, and mentally began drafting a memo for Aziraphale to send back up to Home Office.

---

Author's note:

Everything's as close to accurate to real life Isaac Newton and Woolsthorpe Manor as I could get it, except his personality (which I understand was curmudgeonly in his old age, but I have no idea about him as a youth) and the fact that he didn't *actually* have an apple fall on his head, probably. 1666 was indeed the year he first started developing both calculus and the law of gravitation.

I'm sorry for picking on Hull! I'm sure it's a lovely city. I chose it as the place Crowley was going for a temptation (and a divine ecstasy) because that's the place specifically called out as an example of the arrangement in the book, and so is Crowley getting free reign over Manchester (page 50 in my paperback). And hey, if he's already going north....

The actual pun didn't quite make it in, but hey! Trees!

#my writing #do it with style events #highway to pail #crowley #crowley good omens #good omens #good omens fanfiction #the arrangement #isaac newton

[aziraphales-library]

hi!!! i was wondering if you knew of any fics where originally hell had given orders to tempt aziraphale/make him fall but then obviously fell in love instead (+ somehow aziraphale finds out and it gets angsty). i know this is a very specific ask so no worries if this does not exist. thanks so much (and thank you for this blog, it makes me so happy and you are wonderful people💓)

Hello. You might be interested in posts we’ve made before featuring Crowley tempting Aziraphale here and here. I’ve got a few more now, in which it’s part of Crowley’s job to tempt an angel...

Sunny Side of Eden by AnonymousDandelion (G)

Aziraphale blinked down at the serpent, feeling something at a loss as for what to do next. He’d thought all the animals were meant to stay in the Garden. He hadn’t been told how to deal with finding one on top of his wall, of all places. He could feel his hands beginning to wring at the waist of his robe. He wasn’t prepared. What should he…

Fortunately, before Aziraphale’s worrying could spiral any further out of control, the serpent seemed for whatever reason to relent. It lowered its head — though with eyes still fixed on Aziraphale — and gave a long, hissing sigh. “I’m sssunbathing.”

~ ~ ~

OR: Walking the wall of Eden one fine day, Aziraphale has an unexpected encounter. The serpent, for its part, has an interesting suggestion.

For Who So Firm that Cannot Be Seduced? by elviaprose (E)

Crowley has been spotted having dinner with Aziraphale. The first way he can think of to explain it to Hell is that he's been trying seduce and corrupt the angel. It's not a bad explanation, for something totally off the cuff. The only problem is that he's going to have to actually do it. Or at least pretend to. Set slightly Before Anti-Christ.

The Good Demon by HolyCatsAndRabbits & smolalienbee (T)

In this AU fic, Hell thinks the demon Crowley isn’t evil enough to merit the title of demon. As punishment, they turn him mortal, and if he wants his old job back with his powers and immortality, he’s got to seduce and cause the Fall of some angel named Aziraphale, who is serving as a campus chaplain, running a group for queer youth. Crowley thinks the assignment will be easy, until he meets the angel and his students, and discovers the kind of found family that he’s always wanted. There’s just one little problem: Crowley is a terrible danger to them all.

It’s your job by falsepremise (E)

After a night sucking oysters with Aziraphale, Crowley just can’t sleep. Perhaps he should hang around in Rome a little longer... After all, tempting a certain angel is his job, isn’t it?

Gormless Seduction by munchmulch (T)

Crowley grimaces. "Nhnnnnggg, ok, alright. But, hear me out." They flick a hand dramatically. "An angel! A being who can make Holy water! Even if I can keep the whole human disguise thing up, what if they, I don't know . . . want me baptised?"

Dagon stares at Crowley blankly for a second before handing them the assignment kit. "You’ll start tomorrow. The address is highlighted, if you get lost and have to call me for directions I will direct you through at least three traffic jams."

Everyone But You by summerofspock (M)

It was at his 60th centennial review—Crowley had prepared a grandiose speech about his work in the Cold War (not him at all), gas prices, and the M-25—when Beelzebub walked into their office and slapped a file into his hands before slouching behind their desk. Which, not-so-shockingly, was made of bones.

“A seduction?” Crowley said, looking down at the file with a frown. He hadn’t been given a seduction in nearly two thousand years.

“Not just any seduction,” Beelzebub said as they flopped into their chair and folded their hands in their lap.

Crowley flipped open the file and then nearly dropped it. “You want me to seduce an angel? Why?”

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #temptation #crowley is good at being a demon #mod d

[legobiwan]

Good Omens 2: Fastforward Rewatch

Thoughts (positive, negative, and general analysis) below the cut, this one is long and FULL OF SPOILERS.

You have been warned.

2:1

The opening was perfect. Loved the scene in Heaven, loved the mystery with Gabriel, and Shax's introduction.

Why was Crowley living in his car?

Hell is much less intimidating than in Season 1.

Why are the demons on half-rations? Is this just a general "Hell Sucks" thing? Or does this tie into the supposed manpower issues later on and if so, why is Hell having manpower issues?

Where is Hastur? I miss him (and Ligur, even though I know he's dead).

They definitely needed to make a bigger deal about the Book of Life and Aziraphale's possible erasure from existence. This kind of got glossed over at the end of the episode and therefore wasn't as much of an existential threat to both Aziraphale and Crowley as it should have been and felt. It mostly just seemed like an afterthought.

This was overall, the best episode of the season.

2:2

"I knew the angel you were." I don't love the fact Aziraphale remembers Crowley's angelic form. Like, I get how that could fit in with later events, Aziraphale just not wanting to be seen associating with the newly-donned Crowley. I can buy that they worked together as shown in the first episode. But when Crowley fell, I would like to believe his identity changed and Aziraphale would no longer be able to recognize him, leading us into the opening Eden scene from the first season.

Some of the visuals in the Job scenes were a little wonky.

Gods, I love when David Tennant gets menacing.

Heaven and its representatives didn't feel quite as threatening this time around, which really detracted from the tension around the whole hiding Gabriel issue.

Okay, so Crowley doesn't destroy the goats...this is fine (I guess). And yes, mostly in character for Crowley. But it also seemed to be pushing the "I'm really just good guy" Crowley line a little too hard? I mean, he is a demon. He got demonic moments in Season 1 (see below).

ON THE OTHER HAND, the scene with Aziraphale and the ox meat was a little disturbing, the way Aziraphale desperately pounded that stuff down after Crowley essentially tempted him into it. Apple analogies, anyone? The musical cues and Crowley's look just seemed to spell out that this was some kind of corruption, which was very cool.

The angels can't be that dumb with the restoration of Job's kids? Right? I mean, the theme of the first season was that a disconnected bureaucracy didn't keep tabs or care, not that their highest representatives would come down and be so easily boondoggled.

Oh my gods, Hamm's wig hahahahah.

Loved the scene where Aziraphale thinks he's going to hell.

2.3

There's an interesting conceit here with both Crowley and Aziraphale trying to manipulate humans into falling in love, which is kind of analogous to the situation with their respective deities trying to manipulate humans for their own causes (like Job, for instance).

LOVED LOVED LOVED David Tennant getting to rip with the thick Scottish accent.

Aziraphale saying people get a choice in Edinburgh while not giving Nina and Maggie a choice is an interesting contradiction.

I just need to note that Aziraphale was listening to Danse Macabre in the Bentley (a piece which, appropriately for this setting, begins with a series of tritones in the solo violin, aka the "Devil's Interval." Take from that what you will).

The Edinburgh scenes were very effective, overall, but a) Aziraphale's diary is mentioned, like, 1.2 times and never brought up again b) probably needed some cutting just to make it tighter and c) Aziraphale seemed a little too naive in this sequence?

Also, Crowley having a Scott Lang set of moments was funny but also...a choice.

This all being said, the Edinburgh sequence ending in the manner it did (Crowley abruptly getting dragged back to Headquarters) leads you to believe Crowley got the shit tortured out of him in hell after that whole stunt.

2.4

Conversation between Shax and Aziraphale in the car was perfect.

But again, the whole risk of Aziraphale's destruction due to his hiding Gabriel was still wildly underdeveloped and didn't feel real or threateningly imminent.

Unpopular opinion. The whole set of post-bomb magic scenes weren't entirely necessary.

I suppose if Crowley had missed with his shot, Aziraphale would have to explain his discorporation to Heaven which could get tricky if they started to ask more questions about how that came to be. But it wasn't going to kill Aziraphale. Would have been messy, though.

This being said, the magic stuff was very entertaining and fleshed out more of the Aziraphale-Crowley relationship, and I loved the whole photo-blackmail angle and felt that maybe it was resolved a little too quickly?

Nazi zombies? I mean, okay. I personally felt it would have been better to leave them buried in the ruins of the church and be done with them.

Sometimes too much information detracts from the original material. The first 1941 scene we got in Season 1 was perfect. I almost prefer we would have left that as is and done the magic bit in another era.

2.5

The whole 10,000 (700) demon march on the bookshop was just kind of...weird? Like, I get Beezlebub authorizing it to find Gabriel but then they attack the bookshop and it all got a little muddled.

The demon designs/makeup/costumes were so much better in Season 1, as was the hell set.

Gathering the shopkeepers for the meeting felt like filler material.

The Crowley/Gabriel scene was A+, especially when Crowley ordered Gabriel to jump out the window.

Crowley keeps telling people he's not nice but always acting nice. How much leeway does he get as a demon?

IT WAS WEIRD AND KINDA CREEPY that Aziraphale pulled a Wanda Maximoff and semi-mind controlled everyone into his little utopian Jane Austen fantasy.

"Surrender the Angle" hahahhahahahaahhaha

The demon attack sequence was not my favorite.

2.6

Crowley's Heavenly costume change was awesome.

I'm sorry but I can't deal with the Beezlebub/Gabriel pairing, it's just so RANDOM to me.

And this relates to the way I think one of the larger issues with this season is that the plot hinges on Gabriel just...suddenly not being a massive dick anymore and all that development happening offscreen. I mean, mazel tov to ineffable bureaucracy shippers and all (and I do like the notion of this season being smaller in scope and not depending on yet another end-of-world situation) but it just felt so...undeserved?

Also, the line, "Beezlebub is my Heaven" is just...*shivers* Come on, guys.

Very glad Nina and Maggie didn't end up magically together. I also felt their "heart-to-heart" with Crowley was extremely forced and very fanfiction-y.

The Metatron manipulation here was Class A. He obviously despises Crowley and was playing Aziraphale like a damn lyre.

I dearly dearly hope all the "spiked coffee theories" are false, because it would take away from all the fantastic character development and regression moments that center around Aziraphale's decision. It makes sense, what Aziraphale did. But Metatron is out here playing 5d chess while everyone else is playing checkers.

Tempting Aziraphale with redeeming crowley to angel status? So Aziraphale can "fix" him and stand him up as another toy character just like he did with his Austen reenactment? oh boi. Yeah, I'd be pissed if I were Crowley. Forget the trauma of his fall and not wanting to go back to Heaven (which kind of got sidelined this season), but the fact that your best friend and possible romantic interest of several-thousand years is basically saying "you're not enough as you are" by implying Crowley would be "better" as an angel (although i know that's not necessarily Aziraphale's intention)? That's a yikes.

David Tennant is so, so good at being nervous and heartbroken here. Great speech.

"Nothing lasts forever, Crowley." OUCH.

So, I may get flamed for this, but I feel like the kiss may have been a little forced. I get the romance angle, and I think that was well-deserved at this point, but I'm not sure how I feel about Crowley just going in for the kill there like that. Unpopular opinion, I realize, but between that and the stereotypical rising string soundtrack, it was a little much.

Final Overall Thoughts

This season felt like it had maybe 3ish episodes of material that got stretched into 6.

Hell was nowhere near as frightening/gross/built out as it was in Season 1. And the costuming/makeup was much more drab in comparison to the first Season.

Crowley, I hate to say, got a little "woobified" in this Season. Remember, in Season 1 he delivers the Antichrist, does actual demonic work, causes a bunch of paintball players to think they're shooting real guns for a solid twenty minutes, and literally annihilates another demon with holy water. I realize escaping Hell may have softened him a bit, but I missed some of his more present edge from Season 1.

Along these lines, Aziraphale also felt more naive than he was in Season 1. He's persnickety and idealistic, but not necessarily wide-eyed.

Maggie and Nina had great chemistry. I kind of wish they had leaned into the whole "Crowley and Aziraphale manipulation of their lives" angle a little more, as it's a great thematic parallel with the duo's complaints about the agents of Heaven and Hell.

The angels and demons conveniently became much less competent for plot purposes. Kind of lowers the stakes when your opponents can't seem to plan all that well? Saraqael was the only one who seemed like they had their shit together this time around.

Also, the infighting as to the vacant Archangel position really could have been expanded upon, as that would have been a very interesting plot thread to follow, especially as it relates to Shax and Furfur's little administrative battle downstairs (which would bring back the theme of bureaucratic nonsense from Season 1).

Also, Shax went from a legitimate, compelling threat and character to kind of petering out by Episode 6. That was disappointing. her early scenes were fantastic and I get the feeling they didn't know quite know what to do with her character.

This all being said, there were a lot of great character moments and themes and the payoff with Aziraphale's decision to go back to Heaven was perfect. I'm very curious where this goes in Season 3, if we get a Season 3 (I'm assuming it will end in South Downs, but how we get there will be another...ah ha ha...story).

Overall, I'd give this season a 6.5/10 or 7/10.

#good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens spoilers #aziraphale #crowley #etc etc etc

[bellsandhazard]

Ineffable husbands and corruption

Both of them are corrupting each other (in a good way ofc) but I feel like Aziraphale started - the way he basically unintentionally made Crowley ask questions, by telling him, they'll shut the whole universe down and Crow's creations will go to hell

But I feel like that that's the most Aziraphale "corrupted" Crowley to do the bad thing.

When Crowley fell, we see him on Eastern gate friendly, pleasant and nice to Aziraphale. Completely different from what we saw of other demons. We all thought it's because he saw this gorgeous angel and wanted to make a good first impression, but Crowley is just like that. He isn't like the other Demons. He understands morality and slowly "corrupts" Aziraphale do the right thing even if it's against heaven's intentions and standards. Aziraphale didn't have to teach Crowley to do good. He was good before he met Aziraphale. I'd say, Aziraphale gave Crowley the motivation, again unintentionally. But at core, Crowley is very, very kind.

What I'm interested in, is what happens when Crowley doesn't have the motivation anymore. When the sorrow and anger and angst finally take the better of him and he becomes a true demon with a big D (no pun intended)

I'd love to see him unleash his actual evilness, because from what I know, Crowley is going to suck at it so much because he is in fact good in his core.

(And I'm not afraid of saying he's nice, because all he's gonna do is push me to the wall and I wouldn't mind that at all).

And that again leads me to the power of love. I mean love in general, not only the love they have for each other. It's the love Crowley has for the universe. Not Earth in particular tho.

Aziraphale loves the Earth and loves people (he was one of the angels who worked on them after all)

And here we have the perfect quote:

Love is the death of duty

- Crowley being a lousy demon for his love of the universe and his angel

Duty is the death of love

- Aziraphale leaving Crowley to make heaven better

I hate how they're are working for the same goal, but failing in communicating it to one another.

#good omens #aziraphale #good omens spoilers #aziraphale crowley #crowley #good omen season 2 #good omens the kiss #crowly x aziraphale #go spoilers #good omens memes

[edosianorchids901]

Want to Change the World?

@flashfictionfridayofficial prompt - "pure imagination"

Some days, life really sucked.

Days spent in Hell, in the dark, dank corridors and offices packed with demons who didn’t maintain their corporations. Who let themselves rot and decay. Sitting through briefings or meetings Downstairs was high on Crowley’s list of least favorite things.

Days spent among humans could be worse. Sure, they were wonderfully creative, could be kind and good and warm. But they also really, really loved brutalizing each other in increasingly inventive ways that put Hell to shame.

And then there were other days where things should have been fine, where Crowley had absolutely no excuse for being miserable. Days when he was with Aziraphale, with his only friend. Days when they sat around together for hours, talking about everything in existence.

Usually, that made him happy. But not always, especially when he thought about how fragile it was.

Demons weren’t supposed to have imagination, but Crowley did, and it was incredibly overactive. Whenever he let himself lapse into thought for too long, his eager mind conjured nightmarish scenarios.

He imagined a world in which Hell won the War. Earth a charred wreck, the remaining humans torn apart over and over for demonic amusement. The angels too, probably. He could picture it too easily, Aziraphale chained up in a dark dungeon, screaming in agony, while Crowley frantically tried and failed to rescue his angel. And then he, too, could get chained up and tortured.

Or what if Heaven won? That might be even worse, in a way.

He imagined that too, imagined a “pure” world, a world in which everything was perfectly ordered and worked according to Heaven’s rules. A clockwork universe. All creativity and individuality stamped out, no free thought, definitely no free will. Aziraphale all in white, his expressive face stilled forever by Heaven’s control, going about his duties as a mindless drone.

“Crowley?”

Crowley jumped, splashing tea on himself. Luckily, it had cooled as he stared morosely at Aziraphale’s desk. “Shit, sorry. You were saying?”

“Well, I wasn’t saying anything particularly important. I was just, I don’t know…” Aziraphale gave a little shrug. “Prattling on a bit, I suspect. I think I wandered off into Restoration plays for a bit.”

“Hn. Sorry I missed that.” Chilled by his dark thoughts, Crowley set his tea down and pulled his jacket tighter around himself. “Some Restoration plays were pretty great.”

His own words sounded flat and empty, and he winced. But he could still see those depressing futures laid out before them, either as likely as the other. If he’d fucked up on his plans to influence the Antichrist…

“Are you quite all right, dear fellow?” Aziraphale asked in the sort of voice that implied he knew Crowley was very much not all right. “I didn’t make a mistake with the tea again, did I? It’s not infused basil leaves?”

Crowley tried to smile and utterly failed, then took a sip of his tea. “No basil.”

“Well. That’s a relief, I suppose.” Frowning, Aziraphale searched his face. The angel almost had to suspect what was wrong. He was so unfairly clever. “Hand me that book, would you?”

“Wot?” Crowley asked, then looked around. Winnie-the-Pooh sat on the coffee table. “This one? Why?”

Aziraphale let out a little huff as he took the book and flipped it open. “Well, you don’t seem to be in the mood for talking. So I thought I’d read to you.”

He didn’t wait for Crowley to object, instead immediately launching into a story rendition that was almost as embarrassing as his magic act. Different, exaggerated voices for each character, wildly theatrical expressions, sometimes even seated attempts to act out events.

Crowley loved it, just as he loved Aziraphale.

And as he listened to Aziraphale’s goofy reading, strength returned to him. No, he wouldn’t imagine a future in which he and his angel lost. As a demon with imagination, he’d better damn well put it to better use.

So he imagined a world that never ended, a world in which he and Aziraphale could stroll down lush walking trails. The angel’s warm hand closing around his, the enthusiastic patter of his voice as he pointed out birds and butterflies and whatever other shit caught his fancy.

They’d go for walks most days, probably, enjoying their time on this stupid, wonderful planet. They’d feed ducks loads of treats, pick wildflowers for each other, maybe plant their own garden. Sit on a blanket under the stars, a picnic basket close at hand, and talk about everything else they still wanted to do.

But no matter what they did or where they went, in the world that Crowley chose to imagine, they would always be together.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale

[kaesaaurelia]

indulgence and restraint

For @whumptober day 22, using the lyric prompt, "They never saw us coming, 'til they hit the floor."

Continued from Day 6, wherein something is puppeting Aziraphale, and Crowley is being tortured, Day 9, wherein Crowley had come to the conclusion that no, that is almost certainly not Aziraphale, Day 11, wherein Crowley explained to not-Aziraphale why he was not Aziraphale, and unfortunately gave not-Aziraphale some ideas, and Day 18, wherein not-Aziraphale acted on those ideas.

Content warning for rape and violence.

Aziraphale could see and hear and feel and, good lord, taste everything that was happening to this body, even though he couldn't control any of it, and it was maddening. Was this just an excuse? Was he using Heaven's wrath as an excuse to allow himself to --

No. Even though he'd wanted --

Crowley moaned, and Aziraphale felt himself swallow around Crowley's cock again. He had thought about this far too much, and it had been a stupid workaround to begin with, but once he'd got it in his head...

At first, of course, he had only looked at Crawly with a strange and indescribable feeling in his gut, and thought, Well, of course a demon would be aesthetically pleasing, and stared at the demon's lovely hair and beautiful eyes and long legs without guilt, but eventually he'd realized what he wanted was all too human, all too carnal, and by then he had already tasted food, and he knew he could not moderate himself, only deny himself.

Except that he couldn't do that either. Oh, he could if he had Heavenly obligations, but left to his own devices, he was too curious, and too hedonistic. He indulged. He explored. He looked at the demon too much, and he carried those memories back to the privacy of his bedroom, and...

Well. There had been a lot of justifications in his fantasies. It wasn't his fault, because he was being taken against his own will, sometimes. Once he contemplated the idea that perhaps demons needed it, sometimes, biologically, and it wasn't lust if he was saving Crowley's life. There had been a lot of imaginary scenarios Aziraphale had come up with, wherein the only decent, sensible, kind thing to do just happened to involve sex with Crowley, which he of course did not want but no one could have possibly faulted him for having it.

One he'd returned to an embarrassing amount of times was Crowley coming to him in a panic because he needed to have some absurd amount of orgasms by the end of the day because Hell had instituted some sort of sin quota and he'd got all the other ones on the checklist, but lust! He'd forgot lust! And there was no one else he could possibly turn to! Aziraphale liked to imagine him midway through the day, eyes fully yellow, utterly lost in the pleasure of Orgasm #73 or so while Aziraphale ate him out without stopping, or near the end of the process, where Aziraphale would become too exhausted to continue, and would heroically offer up any and all convenient orifices of his to be fucked, so that Crowley could avoid whatever dire paperwork surely awaited any demon who only came 149 times.

Every now and then the argument of selflessly giving another pleasure had almost got him into trouble; he had made some rather blatant offers to Crowley here and there, but Crowley had been far too much of a gentleman (gentlebeing? Gentledemon?) to take him up on it.

And now here he was finally sucking Crowley's cock and neither he nor Crowley were really enjoying it. Above him, Crowley was whimpering, and Aziraphale felt awful for having brought this upon the both of them. He couldn't help his weak will and strong desires, but he could at least have finished executing his plan to avert the second Apocalypse before being found out.

He tried once more to seize control of his body, and it seemed at first that he was making some progress, but then everything snapped back into place; the invading force retained its power, and Aziraphale could do nothing but feel all that had occurred.

Still, that almost-nudge might be something, he thought, desperately. Perhaps if he could distract the other mind he could seize control.

It was fairly distracted right now, actually. Aziraphale could feel the question, still, of Where is he? Where did you put him? hanging in the air, and he wondered if Crowley would resent him for choosing Earth's preservation over sparing him this particular form of torture.

But also he could feel the heaviness of Crowley's cock on his tongue and he could feel his body reacting to that, to millennia of thinking about it and centuries of very careful experimentation with interested humans -- only when Aziraphale knew he had something else he would have to attend to within twenty-four hours, because the poor humans couldn't give Aziraphale all that he knew he'd want.

How many times had it been now? Five or six? Aziraphale had usually started to give in and touch himself by now, and skip forward in the fantasy, but this wasn't a fantasy, and the thing in his body had bragged about having restraint. Still, he leaned into the pleasure of it, the feeling of his own dick straining against his trousers, and thinking about how much more he would enjoy this if Crowley's little vocalizations were of pleasure, not pain. The desire itself was his, after all; perhaps he could still influence which way this body wanted to go, even if he couldn't direct it.

He felt himself moaning around Crowley's cock again, and his hips jerked a bit, uselessly. And... yes... one hand making its way slowly, first to rub his cock through his clothing, and then unbuttoning his trousers... Aziraphale almost forgot that he wasn't in control when he began to stroke himself, because the combination of the sensation and the true-but-not-quite-right sensation that he was being jacked off by a hand he was not controlling had him trying to react just as his body did.

The pleasure was overwhelming. Aziraphale couldn't allow himself to be overwhelmed, but he also couldn't back off from wanting this or he'd never wrest back control of himself. So he let the pleasure wash over him and tried to cling to the important thing as he waited for the right moment. Which would be very... very soon.

The wave of strong pleasure began and Aziraphale braced himself for the opportune moment. Then he pushed, and suddenly the other mind was flailing around and Aziraphale was in control, only also Aziraphale was sticky and his jaw hurt and he was in a very uncomfortable position on his knees on the cold, hard floor. He pulled Crowley's cock out of his mouth with an obscene spill of semen and spit down his mouth, and a groan from Crowley, who was still hard, poor thing -- and then -- oh no, he was going to lose control again -- no time for dignity.

He scrabbled to his feet and looked at Crowley desperately, wishing he could grab Crowley's hand, only several of his fingers had been broken and -- and -- no, no time for this.

"Crowley, I'm so sorry, look, do you remember -- argh, leave me alone -- do you remember when we hid Gabriel, and we were trying to be very subtle?"

"Aziraphale?" Crowley's eyes were yellow and dazed.

"Yes, yes, it's me, but do you remember?" Aziraphale demanded.

"'Coursssse I do," said Crowley.

"Well. On my signal, we're going to do that again, but don't -- don't aim it at anything, just, give me the power. And don't bother with subtlety."

"On your sssignal?" Crowley asked.

"You'll know," said Aziraphale, trying to wipe his face off as he tried to stay in control of his own body. He was losing his feet, he could tell, and his lips were as clean as he could make them, probably, and well -- no time for dignity, minimal harm to Crowley -- Aziraphale leaned forward and kissed him.

Crowley's miracle came roaring through -- not a teensy half-miracle, but a full-fledged infernal influence. Aziraphale added his own to the mix and felt the power of the miracle become nigh-uncontrollable. He was able to seize just enough of it to expel the foreign force from his body and then some, and he was blessedly free of it now, from the top of his head to his toes.

The rest of the miracle went everywhere. Crowley's shackles shattered and he fell to the ground with a yelp. The pristine tile floor of Heaven cracked around Aziraphale and shattered into dust. Alarms blared.

Aziraphale cleaned himself and Crowley up with some of the excess miraculous power echoing through the interrogation room. He turned around and saw the Metatron lying dazed on the floor.

"How dare you," he said, approaching the so-called Voice of God, who was trying to scramble to his feet. Aziraphale manifested a sword -- not a flaming metal sword, but a sword made entirely of flame -- and advanced on the Metatron, the wild energies of his and Crowley's combined miracle echoing around him.

#whumptober2023 #no.22 #lyric #good omens #fic #nsfwhump #noncon cw #rape cw #violence cw #aziraphale #anthony j crowley #metatron good omens #ineffable husbands #text #fiction #nsft #kaesa op

[blorboselfshipping]

It was heaven a moment ago, we had it almost...

(Aziraphale leaves Crowley for Heaven and the demon isn't handling it very well)

Season 2 Spoilers folks!!! I watched it all in one go the second it dropped, but I know some people are trying to savor it. Take my advice; don't wait, binge that fucker. Let's get to season 3 yeah?

--------------------------------------

Waves crashing on a rocky shore were supposed to be soothing to most people. Well, Crowley figured, maybe it was just something humans were able to enjoy. There seemed to be a rather long, enviable list, he thought to himself as he stood frozen on the beach, of what humans got to have and nobody else.

Beneath his shoes, pebbles shifted and rolled, refusing to let Crowley have sound footing.

It was fine, he was used to it. The last 24 hours had been like that; the world around him flexing and changing without his say so. Not that he hadn’t given it his best go, as they’d say. All he’d tried to do was carve out his little slice of earth with his angel.

That wasn’t too much to ask, was it? Everybody got their little happy endings, Job and Sitis, Maggie and Nina, even fucking Gabriel and Beelzebub, for hell’s sake!

Nope, not for Crowley.

A grand thunderhead was gathering over the distant horizon, whipping the waves into a frenzy. For a couple more moments, Crowley let the sea spray his cold cheeks. He wished he could feel something, anything deeper than the freezing mist.

The roar of the growing surf chased him back to the Bentley. He had to keep going further, far away from the empty bookshop behind him.

--------------------------------------

Logistics of overseas automobile travel were extremely low on the list of things Crowley felt with dealing with at the present moment, so with his lips drawn in a signature tight snarl and a snap of his bony fingers, the Bentley was loaded onto the ferry. Head of the line, no questions asked. As the load master stumbled away, a dazed look in his eyes, Crowley silently challenged Heaven or Hell to pick a fight with him about it. He was owed quite a few miracles by his count.

Of course, nobody shimmered into existence or melted out of the shadows. Crowley was alone. Maybe he always really had been and all his trouble with those two factions had only been bred from his love for Aziraphale.

Throat tightening instinctively, Crowley had to lean against his car for support. It had been the first time in 2 days he’d thought his name. Feeling a jumbled mess of embarrassment, shame, and bone-deep heart ache, he just tried to breathe. Crowley didn’t need to, not really, as an immortal being. But after 4,000 years of blending in, it was harder to stop.

The pain refused to ebb, sucking Crowley deeper into its well. But he was not the kind to just give into that black pit. It had been following him since his fall and he was well versed at avoiding it. So he shoved the pain up into his chest, let it fill his lungs and rattle up his throat before exploding out in a frustrated howl. His hands smacked against the Bentley’s frame, smoke beginning to curl around his knuckles as his heartache curdled to anger.

It wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair! Hadn’t Crowley proved to his angel how Heaven could be just as dangerous and deadly as Hell? He’d had to face Gabriel and his insipid little crew of bullies with his angel’s own image over his own and listen to them berate, belittle, and bash his character. In disguise, Crowley bore the sight of utter vitriol in the Arch Angel’s eyes and endured hearing him tell his angel to shut up and die. If his angel had been the one to experience that venom firsthand, instead of him, would this have been different? Would he have finally been convinced that falling back into that lot would only mean more pain?

No, because that would just mean his angel would have really had to face Hellfire and wouldn’t have been able to rip Crowley’s heart to utter fucking shreds just days ago. They both would’ve been dead as door nails, flat as cats, sunk as whales. Stupid whales. What the hell did they have to worry about, God’s little favorites? Just giant squids and harpoon guns. Manageable problems and the like.

Anger was melting to rage, Crowley’s foot swinging wildly to connect with the Bentley’s door. He couldn’t care, too lost in the release to think about his poor car.

Fucking Beelzebub! Fucking Gabriel! Fucking both of them, sidling back into his life so easily and having the nerve to not only put his angel in immortal peril, but then to skip off into the sunset! Singing that irritatingly sentimental song and holding hands! He never got to have a song with his angel, never got to take his hand. Nightingales were not singing in Berkeley Square and a clandestine handshake on a park bench did not count.

How did they get to just toddle off to Alpha Centauri, Crowley’s star system, and leave them with the fallout? They’d fucked up Crowley’s life for the last time.

One last kick and Crowley fell forward, catching himself on the side of the Bentley. He sent a silent apology to his baby and yanked the door open. Crawling into the backseat, Crowley collapsed onto the smooth, age-varnished leather. His fury may be subsiding, but all that left was that horrible creeping numbness in the pit of his stomach. What was that all about, he wondered. Shouldn’t he be above these mortal feelings?

He couldn’t even begin to try and make himself believe that. He hadn’t been above this, not even as an angel. Though it had been millennia ago, Crowley could still remember his first taste of heartbreak. Crowley remembered the wonderful kaleidoscope blooms of galactic dust at complete odds with the knife-sharp realization that his hard, passionate work would be destroyed a mere 6,000 years later.

Was he just some kind of cosmic joke to the Almighty? Did they even care to look down on him right now, an insignificant speck on a slightly larger insignificant particle.

Well if they didn’t, then there was no one to care as tears dripped slowly from under the edge of Crowley’s shades, pooling onto the leather below his cheek.

#good omens #good omens spoilers #go s2 spoilers #ineffable husbands #my writing

[moo-oon]

Good Omens Re-Watch pt. 3

I completely forgot to post this, so enjoy these very old ramblings :)

I'm rewatching Good Omens with some friends (some have seen it already some have not) and I thought I would share my thoughts as they come because I am dying.

EPISODE 5

So much of the beginning of this episode is Aziraphale conducting his plan without telling Crowley what is really going on. The lack of communication here sets up the absolute heartbreak that will be coming.

Shax is such an interesting character. You think she would be so much better at her job. She has been doing it for so long but she is mostly bite with a little bit of bark. 

All the people saying that Aziraphale can’t speak French cause it's a love language I adore and applaud you. 

Nina calling them out on their gay chaos I love it to death. “He's not a bit on a side, he's just an angle” Wow ow okay darn wow okay. Tell me you're a hopeless romantic (and suck at communication) without telling me. 

Crowley trying to talk out his anxiety and stress with Aziraphale, getting brushed off, and then basically telling Gabriel to end his own life could not be more perfect. I would not be surprised if Crowley blames heaven for Aziraphale's perspective (even more so after ep.6).

Also whoever made the comparison that Crowley understands the pain of remembering that Gabriel has to go through is horrific. So many “I knows” with very little specification. 

When Muriel reports back to heaven it could not be more alarming how little everyone knows. Michael and Uriel should know so much more and they should not have to use a lower-level angel like Muriel to figure it out. It really shows how disorganized heaven is. 

As much as I want Aziraphale to communicate his meeting plans with Crowley there is something very sweet about him surprising Crowley with a ball. Even though it does not give me much hope that it all goes so poorly it is a kind thought. 

WHOEVER did Garbiels ball outfit deserves so much joy and praise. It could not be more wonderful!

I did not previously notice how stressed Aziraphale says “You are definitely safe in here” to Nina. He clearly knows that something is up (you know like demons invading) and still attempts to have a normal evening. His priorities are all confused, and his avoidance is at an all-time high.

The absolutely gorgeous shots throughout this entire season of Aziraphale's pining look are absolutely wonderful and heartbreaking. 

Once again Aziraphale avoids the situation. He KNOWS that something is wrong but when Crowley (somewhat desperately) tries to talk it through with him Aziraphale drags him to dance. He even tells Crowley that he is “overestimating how much trouble” they are in. This is so much of the root of the problem they really expose in episode 6. 

AGAIN WHOEVER GAVE GABRIEL THAT COAT GODBLESS HAVE A GOOD DAY!

I do not understand why but Nina and Maggie clearly are aware of the miracles and are unaffected. I literally have no idea how or why but also I am astonished how I did not notice this the first time around.

“Rescuing me makes him so happy” I don’t know how to approach this line. First of all, I think Aziraphale truly likes to be rescued. It shows that Crowley cares, that someone thinks he is worth putting the resources into saving. Crowley also probably like saving Aziraphale because he is not great with words and cannot express his emotions in that way. Saving him is a significantly easier way. On the opposite end, Aziraphale needing saving clearly causes Crowley an insane amount of distress. Which I think is clearly seen in the gun scene. Crowley does not mind saving Aziraphale when he has control of the situation, but as soon as he is not sure he can it's just a pit of stress.

EPISODE 6:

I think Maggie accidentally inviting the demons in is a nice touch. Not only does it show how overconfident she is but it reminds me a lot of how Crowley so desperately tries to protect Aziraphale to the point of self-destruction. As well as Shax saying that she is “unloved and unlovable”. That part imparticular feels like a deep insecurity for Crowley (and Maggie of course). 

“You’d have to be a Throne a Dominion or above” and all the archangel Crowley theorists aid YAY!

When Aziraphale says that all that his plan contains is the circle it is so clear how much faith he put into Crowley returning with a better plan. I love that they have faith in each other but the codependency is too far. Even Shax knows that Aziraphale is “Crowley's emotional support Angel”. They both rely on each other far too much for it to be healthy. (I desperately want them to be happy but I also NEED them to communicate)

The relief of Aziraphales's “You came back” is so torturous when you know what's gonna happen in like 2o minutes.

I do fully believe that Metatron feels that this was the best way to get Heaven and Hell to be at actual war. He recognized that Aziraphale and Crowley would not allow Heaven and Hell to go to war if they could prevent it. Instead, he made Aziraphale START the war (not really of course but ya know significant).

Okay so let us talk about the crack ship turned cannon, and how it could not have been done more beautifully. They had maybe a minute of discussion in season 1 and suddenly I am watching them fall in love. When I imagine soft romance it was not with them. They of course also represent what Crowley and Aziraphale COULD have. If they actually communicated and worked through stuff they too could feel the joy of living their own life. 

Aziraphale plainly asks Gabriel and Beezlepbub “What do you want?” and them HAVING AN ANSWER! If you asked Crowley and Aziraphale they would look at you and stutter profusely. 

The Angels not even being able to identify the Metaron is so telling. They don’t know how the earth works. They don’t know how Heaven works. They are so ignorant of everything and so self-righteous. Even the Metaron bringing Aziraphale coffee instead of tea shows how little anyone really knows. If anyone should know anything it would be him but no.

Crowley has begun to plan what they are gonna do, and he's cleaned up the bookshop so that WHEN Aziraphale returns they can continue living in their own little bubble. That my friends is why I sob.

Both Aziraphale and Crowley meet in the bookshop with such high hopes that they have solved the problem. They both believe they can now live happily because of their own solution. Once again they failed to communicate and this time it truly breaks both of their hearts.

I fully believe that Aziraphale telling Crowley about what Metatron said is completely unreliable. I do not believe that the Metatron would ever be so kind or know enough to say the correct things to Aziraphale. What we see the Metatron saying is actually what Aziraphale wants/believes he heard the Metatron say.

“Like the old times! Only even nicer!” For Crowley, it was never a nice time, especially now when it hurts to remember. 

I fully believe that Aziraphale cannot comprehend why Crowley is walking away. For the same reason that Crowley cannot comprehend why Aziraphale would even attempt what he was suggesting.

When Aziraphale turns around you can SEE the hope in his eyes. Then he sees the Metatron and he can’t even handle it so he turns back around. 

Then as Aziraphale is walked to the elevator what Crowley said in their argument/confession becomes true. WHEN heaven ends the world. Suddenly he understands but it's far too late.

Then Crowley gets his own moment of hoping that Aziraphale turns around, and of course, he doesn't.

Finale note, I fully believe that the Bently plays “A Nightengale Sang in Berkely Square” because it expected Aziraphale to get in. Because of course, Aziraphale would come back. EVEN THEIR CAR CAN’T COMPREHEND WHAT IS HAPPENING.

#good omens 2 #good omens #emotional ow #good omens spoilers #please let them communicate #good omens season 2 #good omens killed me #gos2 spoilers #im sobbing #good omens season 2 spoilers

[whispsofwind]

You know, I was thinking about Crowley (I know, big shock), and a few exchanges I had about one line specifically.

From the book:

He’d been an angel once. He hadn’t meant to Fall. He’d just hung around with the wrong people.

And from the TV show script book:

I didn’t fall. I didn’t mean to fall. I just hung around the wrong people.

(If I remember correctly, that first "I didn't fall" didn't make it into the show, but it's still echoed in the "I didn't fall, I just sauntered vaguely downwards" dialogue. So the sentiment is there).

On one hand, it's interesting to see the contrast between the book (he'd been an angel once) and the script (I didn't fall).

But what I want to concentrate on is the "I just hung around the wrong people" part, which stays identical.

Because I've seen the argument that we shouldn't take it at face value. The idea there is that Crowley is telling himself he just hung around the wrong people in order to comfort himself. With that sentence, he would be absolving himself of any wrongdoing, and putting a moral wall between himself and the rest of Hell, where he paints himself as better than they are.

The idea here, I think, would be that he's reframing himself as an innocent bystander as a way to cope with the trauma of falling, while in reality he wasn't an innocent bystander at all. It's basically a pretty white lie he's telling himself.

However, I feel pretty confident in taking that sentence at face value, and not just because of my personal headcanons. I think there's a strong argument for Crowley to have been an innocent bystander in the Fall, exactly like he says he was.

My reason for this is the way the TV script reframes the Fall as a workers' revolution kind of deal:

I was just minding my own business one day and then, looky here, it’s Lucifer and the guys, they say, hey, Crowley, my man, we’re just on our way to discuss the whole job conditions and career advancement thing, so, okay, the food hadn’t been that good lately, I’d got nothing on for the rest of that afternoon, next thing I know I’m doing a million-light-year freestyle dive into a pool of boiling sulphur.

The other reason why I feel pretty confident in taking these affirmations at face value is this book section (I apologise if it's a bit long but I need it to make my point);

Aziraphale had tried to explain it to him once. The whole point, he’d said—this was somewhere around 1020, when they’d first reached their little Arrangement—the whole point was that when a human was good or bad it was because they wanted to be. Whereas people like Crowley and, of course, himself, were set in their ways right from the start. People couldn’t become truly holy, he said, unless they also had the opportunity to be definitively wicked.

Crowley had thought about this for some time and, around about 1023, had said, Hang on, that only works, right, if you start everyone off equal, okay? You can’t start someone off in a muddy shack in the middle of a war zone and expect them to do as well as someone born in a castle.

Ah, Aziraphale had said, that’s the good bit. The lower you start, the more opportunities you have.

Crowley had said, That’s lunatic.

No, said Aziraphale, it’s ineffable.

Now this is an obviously fascinating bit and a meta analysis gold mine in terms of how free will works, the nature of angels and demons, and how Heaven's machine works (hey fun fact faith in the Church has historically been at its highest when things really, really sucked).

But the important bit I need is the bolded one. Crowley as a character believes that people should be treated equally and fairly. He believes it's not fair to judge people's actions and choices, and the morality thereof, without considering the circumstances they came from. He particularly believes that expecting people to be better, morally, by keeping them miserable is, in his own words, "lunatic".

So there it is, I think. What I get from this passage is that Crowley believes that class/economical differences play a part in making the world in general, and Heaven's system of judgement in particular, unfair.

So if we assume- and I think it's a fair assumption- that he held these ideas before the Fall, then it makes total sense that he would be attracted to the idea of a Revolution.

Heaven is a theocracy with a pretty rigid class system. If Crowley was, as I believe, middle-to-low in the angelic hierarchy, and Lucifer came to promise rights and "job conditions and career advancements", you can see how everything lines up quite nicely, I think. Especially because the Fall happened presumably towards the end of Creation, when angels like Crowley (involved in building the universe) were kind of about to lose their jobs. And with their jobs, their only purpose in life, because what's an angel's purpose if not their job?

Basically, what I am trying to say is, I 100% think that Crowley isn't lying to himself when he says he "just hung around the wrong people". He isn't comforting himself or making excuses for past sins, he's telling exactly what happened: he was looking for a more equal Heaven, and instead he got dragged into a War by a power hungry (or possibly just mistaken?) leader.

Basically, this whole thing is a giant "Crowley did nothing wrong and I stand by that" meme.

From this point onward, I actually think you could go into pretty interesting commentary re: the Cold War allegory, capitalism vs communism, the history of the URSS, and the fact that Crowley's philosophy when performing his job is basically the Industrial Revolution of temptations. I don't feel qualified enough for all that meaty stuff, so I'll stop here. Have fun tearing my reasoning apart (but please be nice about it, I am emotionally fragile and I just love GO very much).

#good omens #good omens meta #long post #it's funny if you think about it #Crowley politically is about as leftist as they come isn't he #at least what I would consider left in my country

[on-stardust-wings]

"At least we know whose fault it is!"

I've seen several posts discussing how Hell overestimates Crowley. And lots of posts on how Aziraphale and Crowley don't actually do anything to save the world, that they're just kind of there.

On that tangent, personally I think the other characters don't actually do all that much more. Aziraphale and Crowley aren't the only characters who seem to do less than you'd expect in the end. Anathema comes to England expecting she'll have to save the world. In the end, all she really needed to do was be there, lose the book so Aziraphale can read it, and take Newt to the airbase so he can break the computers. Even the Antichrist doesn't defeat the horsemen by himself, he's got his friends with him who do it. And while Adam defeats Satan by refusing to accept him as his dad, he didn't think he could do it alone. He needed reassurance and support. The end of the world is stopped by many small contributions, not one big heroic act. That's part of the charm, I think.

But, I'm rambling away. I was going to write about how Crowley is or maybe is not overestimated by Hell, and how Aziraphale is looked at by Heaven in turn.

A common fandom opinion seems that they're both rather bad at their respective jobs. But, their superiors don't seem to think so, and that's interesting to me.

Hell gives Crowley a commendation for the Spanish Inquisition, although he had nothing to do with it, and is completely horrified by it (at least in the book, but you can just as well see it for the show). They also commend him on the French Revolution in the show, and accept his claim that he started the second World War. They like his M25 scheme. Not everyone understands it, demons like Hastur don't agree with Crowley's methods (and personally just don't like him), but you get the idea that they do indeed think he's doing a somewhat good job. They give him the very important Antichrist delivery job, too (when two Dukes of Hell were up there anyway and could have completed the job). Hastur, while admittedly not the sharpest tool in the shed, for a moment actually believes Crowley's Dark Council bluff. He wonders if maybe Crowley is more than he seems. Hastur hates Crowley, but he doesn't think him incompetent.

Hell is shit, yes, but Hell also respect Crowley's work. Or at least what they think Crowley works on. Crowley has rather successfully tricked Hell into thinking he's actually more competent at demoning than he really is. He is clever enough to hide his weaknesses (like his rather undemonic moral code, his dislike of killing or his friendship with an angel), and he’s learned to play the system to his benefits.

I first thought Heaven thinks rather more lowly of Aziraphale, because of how patronising they treat him. They look down on him. They ignore his input. They bully him. They invade his personal space, they treat him without respect. It's easy to assume they also think he's incompetent.

But. That doesn't seem to be the case.

Firstly, there's the deleted bookshop opening scene where they wanted to give him a medal. Were they trying to get him replaced because they thought he sucks at his job? Was it actually a promotion for a job done well? It's hard to tell.

Or maybe, and I think that's my point, were they trying to replace him with someone they trust more?

Heaven doesn't trust Aziraphale. Over their power play it's hard to spot, but they don't. And it doesn't start once they get suspicious about his comments regarding the Antichrist. It's there from the start. 

Gabriel and Sandalphon show up in the bookshop well before they start to actually investigate Aziraphale's contact to Crowley and involvement in Armageddon. They walk into his shop, shout about pornography, and corner Aziraphale in the backroom. They keep him between them, like in a particular nasty cross examination. Sandalphon blocks the doorway. Gabriel casually reminds Aziraphale of Sandalphon's happy smiting of entire cities. They are there to threaten him. You don't threaten people you think are incompetent and stupid. You threaten people you're worried you might not have under control.

They are belittling and don't take him seriously when he comes to talk to them about the opposition having possibly lost track of Adam, but once he's gone, they start thinking. This isn't the behaviour of superiors who think their underling is daft. They think Aziraphale dangerous enough to worry he could be up to something. They don't know what, but they're quick to get suspicious.

Michael considers the thought Aziraphale might work for Hell, as a double agent. Micheal, Uriel and Sandalphon again go to threaten Aziraphale, practically on his home turf. Hell sends Hastur and Ligur to collect Crowley (and threatens him rather badly in the book). In the show, three Archangels come to gang up on Aziraphale. They want to scare him. So shortly before the battle, three high ranking angels presumably have important things to do. They wouldn't bother with Aziraphale if they didn't think him worth some concern.

And then at the airbase, Adam stops Armageddon. Aziraphale and Crowley haven't actually done anything to stop it yet. Their part comes in supporting Adam in stopping Satan. But that is later. At this point, all they did was go there. Yes, they conspired to stop the apocalypse, but they didn't actually stop it. That was all the human characters.

But true to form, neither Gabriel nor Beelzebub think humans can do much of anything, and Gabriel naturally assumes it's Aziraphale (and Crowley's) doing. "At least we know whose fault it is!" And later, when they try to execute Aziraphale: "With one act of treason, you averted the War."

By seemingly surviving their executions, Aziraphale and Crowley scare Heaven and Hell, sure. But it's not scaring them out of the blue. Both Heaven and Hell were thinking they are more dangerous than they probably are already before that, and this might be why they buy it like this.

Crowley has a long history of surprising Hell with his schemes (not near all of which are actually his, but they don't know that). Aziraphale has, somehow, made the Archangels suspicious of him already before they had actual reasons to be suspicious, and then a whole platoon of angels plus the quartermaster watch him jump down to Earth without body to possess a human. To Heaven and Hell, their final coup doesn't completely come out of the blue.

On the contrary, with hindsight they'll probably be even more wary. Imagine Hastur's face when he connects the dots between Crowley being immune to Holy Water and his plant mister bluff. For all Hastur knows, Crowley had actual Holy Water in the mister. Imagine the hysterical screaming that follows the realisation. Imagine Sandalphon's face when he realises he punched an angel in the gut who later breathed Hellfire at him. For all they can tell, Crowley and Aziraphale have been going easy on them.

#good omens meta #Good Omens #aziraphale #crowley #heaven and hell #p+a