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it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.
yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.
it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.
how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.
chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?
how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.
"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.
i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.
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Steel Snare
I have many feelings about Beta watching over Aloy during this fight
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art by @fibbermcgee123 !
many of you probably already know that i did music for hbomberguy (it premiered on this video that apparently the entire internet saw), including this end credits theme--i'm currently in the process of getting it on streaming, but here it is on bandcamp for now!
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A tender moment between bro's
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Tracklist:
Once Upon a Time • Start Menu • Your Best Friend • Fallen Down • Ruins • Uwa!! So Temperate♫ • Anticipation • Unnecessary Tension • Enemy Approaching • Ghost Fight • Determination • Home • Home (Music Box) • Heartache • sans. • Nyeh Heh Heh! • Snowy • Uwa!! So Holiday♫ • Dogbass • Mysterious Place • Dogsong • Snowdin Town • Shop • Bonetrousle • Dating Start! • Dating Tense! • Dating Fight! • Premonition • Danger Mystery • Undyne • Waterfall • Run! • Quiet Water • Memory • Bird That Carries You Over A Disproportionately Small Gap • Dummy! • Pathetic House • Spooktune • Spookwave • Ghouliday • Chill • Thundersnail • Temmie Village • Tem Shop • NGAHHH!! • Spear of Justice • Ooo • Alphys • It's Showtime! • Metal Crusher • Another Medium • Uwa!! So HEATS!!♫ • Stronger Monsters • Hotel • Can You Really Call This A Hotel, I Didn't Receive A Mint On My Pillow Or Anything • Confession • Live Report • Death Report • Spider Dance • Wrong Enemy !? • Oh! One True Love • Oh! Dungeon • It's Raining Somewhere Else • CORE Approach • CORE • Last Episode! • Oh My... • Death by Glamour • For the Fans • Long Elevator • Undertale • Song That Might Play When You Fight Sans • The Choice • Small Shock • Barrier • Bergentrückung • ASGORE • You Idiot • Your Best Nightmare • Finale • An Ending • She's Playing Piano • Here We Are • Amalgam • Fallen Down (Reprise) • Don't Give Up • Hopes And Dreams • Burn In Despair! • SAVE The World • His Theme • Final Power • Reunited • Menu (Full) • Respite • Bring It In, Guys! • Last Goodbye • But The Earth Refused To Die • Battle Against A True Hero • Power Of NEO • MEGALOVANIA • Good Night
Spotify ♪ Bandcamp ♪ YouTube
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