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#do not try this at home
eikotheblue · 5 months
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having Complicated Feelings (concern, a small but nonzero amount of recognition of the self through the other, admiration, sexual desire,) about this one, lads
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goddamnshinyrock · 1 month
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Don’t give CPR to wild animals: a thing you wouldn’t think you’d have to tell people but apparently you do. 💀
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theabigailthorn · 4 months
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I'm just doing some work on my character in Dracula's Ex-Girlfriend and oooo, I love her so much! She's so messed up and problematic and awful but also like ARGH, she could be good if she tried!
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stormcallart · 1 year
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smite tossing a baby izuku in the air at the park and izuku having the time of his little life as the public looks on in horror.
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l3irdl3rain · 2 years
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Quick, Petunia’s on ketamine! Give her funny face penalty!
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oldfangirl81 · 3 months
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Adding to the OSHA hates FentonWorks I give this extension cord hack.
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violet-1atte · 6 months
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Kinktober Day Twenty-Five: Edgeplay - Seungmin/Felix
Tags: EDGEPLAY not edging, sex on a rooftop, slight exhibitionism, fear play, neither safe nor sane but it is consensual, dom!Seungmin, sub!Felix
AO3 Link
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The building’s edge was cold and rough and the ground was no better. That was the first thought Seungmin had as he pushed Felix up against the cement railing. The second thought he had was, Holy shit. We’re a few feet away from death . And somehow that thought only made the arousal that had been pooling in his stomach on the entire ride there more intense. 
In front of him, Felix was shaking. His head was tilted back over the edge and all he would have to do was look to the side slightly and he would be looking down a straight drop. When Seungmin placed his hands on his hips, he practically vibrated in his touch. “It’s–it’s so far down,” Felix breathed. His voice sounded far-off, like the cars driving down below.
“I know. You definitely wouldn’t want to fall,” Seungmin said with a hum. “So make sure you stay put.” 
“I will, I will,” Felix said. He was still shaking like a leaf. 
Seungmin ran a soothing hand up and down his arm a couple of times. “If you’re really scared we don’t have to do this,” he said, his tone of voice softening. This had been a fantasy of theirs for a long time but he would throw it all away for Felix’s comfort. But Felix shook his head vehemently. 
“No, no, it’s okay,” he responded shakily. “It’s scary, but I like it. And I know you won’t let me fall.” Seungmin grinned and his gentle touches suddenly turned rougher. He pushed his body against Felix, trapping him against the rail so that his back arched over it slightly. Felix gasped and his hands shot out to cling to Seungmin’s wrists. 
“Seungmin!” he exclaimed, his eyes blown wide. Seungmin chuckled softly. 
“I thought you liked being scared?” he said with a teasing smirk. “Why don’t you look down, Lixie?” 
Felix gulped audibly and slowly turned his head to the side to look down. His breath caught in his throat and he felt Felix’s dick harden against him. “That turning you on? Knowing how dangerous it is for me to touch you like this here?” 
Felix bit his lip and his small hands tightened their grip on his wrists. “Y-yeah,” he muttered, just shy of a whisper. “Fuck, this is terrifying.” 
Seungmin nodded, a pleasant thrill going down his spine. “It really is,” he agreed. He shook Felix’s hands off him so that he could roam over his sides. “How do you want it?” he asked. “Should I fuck you like this? Push you up against the rail and push you a little further back with each thrust? Or should I have you turn around so you can look at the nice view?”
Felix shivered as he thought over his options. As he tried to decide, Seungmin took the opportunity to touch him. He began kissing his neck, switching between soft, chaste kisses, and open mouthed kisses with teeth and tongue that were sure to leave marks. Felix wiggled in his arms and he grinned as he slipped his hands under his shirt to feel his skin. Despite the cool air of the rooftop, Felix’s skin was hot. Seungmin traced over his waist and his abdomen with his fingertips and goosebumps erupted across his skin. “Come on, tell me what you want. Or I’ll decide for you,” he said, punctuating his words by sucking on the sensitive skin of Felix’s collarbone. 
“I-I’m trying ,” he whined in frustration. “But you’re distracting me.” 
“Am I?” Seungmin slid his hand up to Felix’s chest and brushed his thumb over his nipple. 
“ Hnng , yes!” Felix huffed and licked his lips. “I want you to…to fuck me from behind. I’m scared to look but I wanna brace myself and I–I wanna see how high up we are.” 
Seungmin smiled and pressed a kiss to Felix’s Adam's apple. “That sounds perfect to me, Lix.” He slid his hands down his chest to his waist again. “Turn around for me then, and arch your back,” he instructed. Felix nodded and swallowed thickly. Seungmin loosed his grip on him and he spun around, bracing himself against the wall on his forearms. He arched his back and pushed his ass outwards so that it pressed right against Seungmin’s crotch. 
A gust of wind whipped over the building and blew Felix’s blond hair around his face and ruffled his clothes. Another shiver wracked his body and Seungmin took that moment to tug his pants underneath his ass. He wasn’t wearing any underwear, so all it took was a single tug to have him completely bare. “ Oh ,” Felix sighed as Seungmin grabbed his cheeks and spread them apart. A small gem from the plug in his hole sparkled in the late afternoon light. Seungmin pulled it out a little Felix inhaled sharply. 
“Aaahh , Seungmin, don’t tease,” Felix pleaded. A car horn honked in the distance below them and the wind picked up even more. 
“Sorry, hyung, you’re just too cute not to tease,” Seungmin said sweetly. He pushed the plug back inside of him just to watch him squirm but then pulled it all the way out. He tossed it somewhere off to the side–they would probably not be using that again–and licked his lips as he watched the lube drip from Felix’s hole. “You’re so fucking pretty. Even your hole is pretty.” 
“ Seungmin ,” Felix groaned. 
“Shh, you’re gonna be fine,” Seungmin soothed. He knew he couldn’t drag this out for too much longer though because he didn’t want someone to come up and find them or for someone from down below to see them. 
He pressed a couple fingers into Felix’s hole just to see if he was truly stretched enough. Felix’s rim was loose around him but he still writhed at the intrusion. “Please. Want you to fuck me over the edge already, Minnie. Take care of me.” 
Seungmin gritted his teeth and pulled his fingers out. “I love it when you get so needy, hyung. Your voice always gets so high.” He unzipped his pants and pulled them down as quickly as he could so that he could free his cock. He was aching and leaking, probably harder than he had been in a long time. And Felix looked so pretty, pressed up against the edge of the building, still shaking from need and from the prospect of the danger they were putting themselves in. 
He grabbed a condom out of his pocket and rolled it over his length before he lined himself up. He carefully pushed the tip past his rim and clenched his jaw as his tight heat enveloped him. Felix dropped his head and moaned softly. Seungmin grabbed his hips to make pushing into him easier, and before long, he was pressed all the way to the hilt. Felix’s chest heaved as he took a deep breath and he licked his lips before looking back. “M-move, Seungmin.” 
Seungmin wasn’t one to take orders, but who could deny Felix when he looked like that? He certainly couldn’t. So he pulled out until just the tip of his cock was left inside Felix and then shoved back inside. The first thrust punched an airy moan out of Felix and that seemed to open the floodgates to an endless stream of sounds as Seungmin began to thrust into him for real, quickly picking up his pace. 
His thrusts were hard enough that Felix was pushed forward and forced to grab onto the wall as his chest slid over the top. He had a perfect view of the high drop, and even Seungmin could see it from this point. Cars speeding by on the city street down below, tiny figures of people walking along the sidewalk, looking more like ants than human beings. All blissfully unaware of the fact that Felix was getting stuffed full by Seungmin’s cock and fucked senseless. 
“Oh fuck,” Felix gasped as his hands slipped a little and he fell forward. Seungmin still had his hands planted firmly on his hips and his feet were on the ground so he didn’t really have much of a risk of actually falling, but the slip up still made Seungmin’s heart leap into his throat and he could feel Felix beginning to shake again. 
“You–you okay?” he asked and Felix nodded. 
“Yes, I’m good, ‘s good, keep going. I like it, I– ahhh –I love it,” he moaned, clenching around Seungmin. “Scare me–make me feel like I’m gonna fall. You’ll catch me right?” 
A groan rumbled in Seungmin’s throat and he leaned forward, wrapping his arm around Felix’s waist. He pressed his chest up against Felix’s back and began snapping his hips relentlessly. Felix moaned loudly and went limp in his hold. The wind whipped around them and Seungmin felt chills go down his spine as he pressed Felix to the railing and got a chance to look over. They were so high up. The adrenaline rushing through Seungmin’s blood turned to pleasure in his stomach and buried his face against Felix’s neck. 
“I’m gonna come soon,” he mumbled against him and Felix moaned. 
“M-me too,” he stuttered. “I’m so close, fuck me, fuck me harder.” 
Seungmin easily complied, putting all his energy into fucking Felix as hard as he could.  They would both be sore and stiff from the wind on top of the building and from the exertion but it would be worth it. 
When Felix practically sobbed, Seungmin knew he had started to hit his prostate. And Felix didn’t even need to touch himself this time to come. The rush of being so close to such a dangerous, deadly drop, and Seungmin fucking him so well made the arousal in his stomach unravel and after only a few hits against his prostate, he came with a shout. If the wind hadn’t been so loud, anyone could have heard them. His grip on the wall slipped as he orgasmed and he went limp, half of his chest hanging over the edge. Seungmin held him tight but didn’t pull him back as he finished off himself, spilling into the condom with a low groan soon after Felix came. 
Felix was still shaking even as Seungmin pulled out and turned him around so he could hold him closer. He ran a hand through his hair and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Are you okay? Was that good?” he asked gently. 
Felix hummed softly and nodded. “Yes, it was perfect. So, so scary but I loved it. I’m glad we finally got to do it. Another item crossed off the bucket list.” He giggled and Seungmin huffed out a laugh. 
“You’re right. What’s next?” 
Felix tapped his chin. “Hm…fucking a tentacle monster on the beach.” 
Seungmin cringed. “That’s not even possible though.” 
“You never know,” Felix said with a shrug. “I’ve heard some tales of pirates in the past…Ever heard the story of the Stray Compass ?” 
Seungmin rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, whatever, Maybe you’ll get your tentacle sex on the beach.” He went over and picked up the plug he’d tossed early with a grimace. “I’ll drive you back to your place?” 
Felix nodded. “Yeah, sounds good. I’ll see you at the club on Friday?”
Seungmin nodded with a soft smile. “Yep, you know where I’ll be.” 
Felix hummed and wrapped his arm around Seungmin as they walked toward the elevator to head down to his car. “You know, you really are the best dom I could ask for.” 
Seungmin felt himself blushed but schooled his expression. “Thanks I–I’m glad you think so. I’m definitely a lucky dom.” Felix smiled brightly up at him. It was so, so bright. 
“That you are. But I’m the luckiest sub.”
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beardedmrbean · 1 year
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Good doggy, someone should get you a milk bone
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icedmetaltea · 2 years
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Okay I made a thing! (8 followers late but still-)
I am now going to go sleep
Taking a majority of my art off tumblr for now. Fuck AI
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c00kie-d0e · 7 months
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Joe Joe doe doe is the perfect example of this meme lmaooo reality is definitely not like fiction
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Meme template by @mellobrainrot !!
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thatmemeguy89 · 2 months
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Ouch
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alsopartgekkos · 1 year
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pov: you just got paired with Garreth in Potions and you’re professor’s niece
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oh-god-its-this-thing · 2 months
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doing that one cursed spaghetti with the sour strips and cheap energy drink, like people warn to not do. Live-blogging my experience.
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Before eating; the smell of over-powering. Like if you put a candy shop into one’s nostrils. Like how zots taste
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freetheshit-outofyou · 7 months
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For education purpose's only. For varmints and such.
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jumpintothewaves · 9 months
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Don’t get me wrong this is fucking hilarious, but this is also a direct result of San Diego not enforcing beach closures when pinnipeds come to breed. These sea lions are protected under the marine mammal protection act which requires us to stay 50ft away from them and not to disturb them. This has been an ongoing issue for the residents of La Jolla who feel there should not be regulations on when to go to their beach. Cohabitation has been an issue here for a while and sadly nothing is being done. The result…
Angry male sea lions charging at tourists. Something needs to change before someone gets seriously injured that could lead to a serious lawsuit and the death of the animal involved. The animals are here, and there is no moving them. We have to learn how to live with them.
Mayor Todd Gloria website and contact info
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memoriesofachicken · 7 months
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Squanchy fails at the knife game.
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