#ed the most the same because she is perfect but everyone else can go to hell | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daddyy333 · 2 years

Text

Insecurities | Eddie Munson x y/n

if you’d like you can reblog my original work, but please don’t post it without credit. if you take inspiration from my ideas please tag me, I’d like to see how someone else would write it

Word count: 1.1k

TW: INSECURITIES ABOUT PHYSICAL APPEARANCE, WEIGHT GAIN

summary: y/n is insecure. Eddie can’t believe it

"Babe! Are you coming?" He said knocking on the door. You two were going to swim in Steve's pool with the gang today. You wanted to go, but you were looking in the mirror and you didn't want to go anymore.

You switched to a different birth control a few weeks ago and it caused you to gain weight but you got an appointment as soon as you started really noticing it and you got a different birth control but you hadn't lost the weight in your thighs and hips, even your stomach and boobs.

You were used to being an average sized girl, and jumping up 3 Jean sizes and a cup size in a matter of weeks really messed with you. You bought this swimsuit a few days ago, and it fits fine, it's just that your body looks so...different.

"Babe?" He asked again and you sighed. You took a deep breath and said "I'm uhm...I'm sick," "what? You were completely fine last night, you didn't mention any start of a sickness" he said and you put your robe on.

You opened the door and fake coughed. "Yea, I feel like crap so I uhm...can't go" you said and Eddie stood there, folding his arms like a disappointed father. He sighed and said "baby, you are not sick. Come on, get your sexy ass in a bathing suit and let's go"

"I-...Ed's, I can't" you said and his usual boyish grin faded. He cupped your cheeks and said "what's wrong, baby?" "It's just...remember when I told you that the birth control I switched to made me gain weight?" You asked and he nodded.

You sighed and said "It's not all...gone, yet" "so? Who cares, if anything I'm sure you just have more ass and some thighs but that is more to love, baby" he said and you looked down.

He kissed your head and said "c-can I take your robe off?" You exhaled shakily and nodded, watching as his hands carefully untied the robe. You pulled it off and tears filled your eyes as you saw him look you up and down.

"I know it's not attractive anymore so just...just let me stay home and I'll work harder to get rid of it" you said and he shook his head. He smiled and said "no, no...god, you're gorgeous. I don't mind it, I love it actually. Don't change, please"

"Yea, okay," you said and he scoffed. He shook his head and said "seriously, y/n...I don't care that you gained a couple pounds. You look great, baby. You're fucking perfect, you always will be no matter what you look like" You sighed and said "whatever, I'll be there"

You closed the door and sighed shakily pulling on one of Eddie's big t-shirts over the bikini for now. She came out and Eddie stopped you from pushing past him completely. He sighed and said "baby...I know that such a sudden weight gain makes you feel insecure but I promise you that I will always be in a relationship with the most attractive girl in the world, no matter how much you weigh. If you don't want to come today that's fine, but I just really want you to know that you're fucking gorgeous"

"It's fine, Ed's. I'm fine" you said and got past him, heading to the van. He blinked a few tears away and ran his hands over his face. You stayed on the pool chairs, reading a book most of the time. Everyone noticed Eddie not really joining in on the fun as much, spending more time staring at you.

"Hey, weirdo what's up?" Steve said. Eddie didn't mind when his close friends called him a weirdo or a freak because he knew they were just playing around. He looked over and said "nothing...nothing, why?"

"Oh nothing, you've just been buried into the corner watching your girlfriend who's also got the same frown stuck to her face" he said and Eddie sighed. He smoothed his hair down and said "she's just...a thing happened before we left the house and it's really affecting both of us. But it really hurts her, more than it'll hurt me" "hmm...whatever grumpy pants but the rest of us are gonna get out and make some food" he said and Eddie followed.

He walked over to you and you put your book down, watching as he bent down on his knees and looked up at you. He sighed, placing his hands on your thighs as he said "why don't you come get something to eat, huh? We skipped out on breakfast, you gotta be hungry"

You shook your head and he sighed. He stood up and scooped you up, making you gasp and try to wiggle out of his arms. He only held you tighter and said "you gotta eat to live, baby. You're not getting away from me anytime soon, so stuff your face for me, alright?"

You chuckled and he sat down on one of the couches, letting you go and placing one hand on your thigh and wrapping an arm around your waist. You sighed and rested your head on his shoulder, playing with his rings.

He pretty much shoved a fruit salad down your throat and then finally convinced you to get in the pool with everyone else again. He slipped her shirt off for her and she initially wanted to hide her body, but then she heard Robin wolf whistle at her and she couldn't help but giggle.

"How the hell can you walk around with all that ass?" Nancy said and you chuckled. Eddie then clapped loudly and said "eyes off Henderson!" You hid behind Eddie a little and chuckled quietly.

"Get that shirt back on, I can't take you anywhere" he groaned and you smiled, biting your lip. He turned around and said "I told you, you're fucking perfect. Not to mention, most of the weight you gained is gone already but I loved you all the same"

"I guess you're right," you said and chuckled. He kissed your head and you sighed, resting your head on his chest for a moment. He then picked you up and ran to the diving board, jumping up as hard as he could and slamming into the water with you.

You damn near died for a second, and totally wanted to drown him for it, but instead settled for splashing the shit out of him. "Asshole!" You said and he smiled, wrapping his arms around you and holding you close.

He held you pretty much the entire time, everyone pretty much figured out what had happened judging by how much happier the two of you were now. Obviously Eddie didn't mind you with a little more to love, you were pretty convinced he preferred you a little curvier after today. God, you loved that man.

Eventually I’ll be writing for

Eddie Munson

Joseph Quinn

Jamie Bower

Steve Harrington

Robin Buckley

So just dm me the taglist you want to be added to and I’ll add you :)

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x reader

173 notes · View notes

atiny-desire · 2 years

Text

Say my name pt. 2

Pairing: Dead by Daylight Trickster! Hongjoong x Reader

Word count: 5.4 k

Disclaimer: I'm in no way condoning, justifying, encouraging nor promoting this kind of behavior. This is not supposed to represent Hongjoong in any way.

Warning: Yandere behavior, death, murder, blood, stalking

Pt. 1

◇◇◇

Pre Entity

"Alright, that's enough for today." You heard the magical words from your Choreographer. Finally, you thought. Sweat was dripping off your face and caused your hair to stick uncomfortably to your skin, your legs felt like jelly and your lungs were burning. You took a look around you to see how the four other trainees were doing, they looked just as tired as you, but all of them had the same proud look in their eyes.

The reason on why you were practicing harder than usual is because your debut was coming closer with each passing day, you and the four other trainees made it into the final lineup of the Co-Ed group Illusion.

"Hey, should we go get some fried chicken later," a girl with blonde hair and pink streaks in it asked. Her name was Kim Areum you two weren't particularly close, but you hoped that would come over time.

Lee Donghyun skeptically raised an eyebrow. "Aren't we supposed to be on a diet?" Donghyun was always more on the rational side and took everything extremely seriously, sometimes it was tiring when he nagged everyone to keep practicing, but in the end, it was always for the best of the group.

Kim Yungjae was the total opposite of Donghyun. He was more leaned back and can certainly always be found doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing, but this time he agreed with Donghyun. "Nah, thank you. I don't want to mess anything up, this close to our debut."

Areum sulked in disappointment, usually, she could always count on him. "And you," she asked both, you and Seohyun.

"I can't eat with you I still want to practice some more," you answered to the surprise of everyone else, you were probably the one who dreaded practice the most.

"While I do appreciate your enthusiasm, you shouldn't push yourself too hard," Donghyun said, who was already leaving but stopped in front of the practice room door. "Rest is important too."

You waved your hand in dismissal, you knew that too but you wanted everything to be perfect. You trained quite some while for this and didn't want the risk of messing anything up. "I know but I still make mistakes during the chorus." You sighed when you saw that everyone still had worried looks on their faces. "Don't worry I'm going to take a lot of breaks, trust me I won't do anything stupid."

Yungjae snorted but he kept his snarky remark to himself. "If you say so." He stood up from his sitting position on the ground and walked over to Donghyun. "I'm leaving," he said and with a short wave he was gone, Donghyun followed after him after a quick goodbye.

Areum, who still didn't have anyone to eat chicken with, sighed. Seohyun lifted her hands in defense before Areum could give her the puppy eyes. "I'd rather follow the diet too, sorry Areum."

"No it's fine," the blonde girl said, but her voice gave away that she wasn't fine with it. "I'm just going to sin alone, while I laugh at you because you missed the opportunity of delicious fried chicken." Areum dramatically tossed her hair, picked up her water bottle, and left the room.

You and Seohyun watched her in amusement until the door fell back in its lock. "Are you leaving too," you asked Seohyun and turned to face her.

Your best friend nodded. "Yep, I still have a series I want to finish, and I'm going to use all of my free time for it." She smiled and gave you a mischievous look. "You know, before we debut." Seohyun left shortly after, leaving you alone in the practice room.

A sigh left your mouth as you watched your reflection through the mirror wall. The next final weeks were going to be exhausting, you didn't even want to imagine the stress of the final debut but you were happy. Finally, you made it, your dreams were about to become true and you would be able to stand on the same stage as your favorite Idols.

You practiced for about two more hours before you decided to stop, your body begged you to stop for this day and you weren't about to push yourself too hard. You were about to leave when the door swung open, just barely missing you.

Both, you and the person opening the door let out a surprised gasp when you stood in front of each other. Strands of his black hair were hanging in front of his eyes, his eyes were widened but not as much as yours. You found yourself standing in front of Park Seonghwa, your bias from Ateez, and also the reason why you wanted to become an idol.

You quickly took a step back and bowed to him. "I was just about to leave, I didn't know that you have practice today too." Seonghwa didn't say anything for a few seconds and just watched you, you could feel your heart racing in your chest while you avoided eye contact with him.

"No, it's okay don't worry." You finally heard his soft voice say, for a short moment you met his gaze it was only for a second, but it was enough for the air around you two to change into a weird tension.

Luckily the now uncomfortable mood was disrupted by two people bumping into Seonghwa, who was still standing in the doorway. The two newcomers were bickering with each other and didn't notice him standing there. "Why are you just standing here," the blonde one asked annoyed, he leaned on Seonghwas shoulder and followed his stare.

You recognized the blonde one as Wooyoung and the one on Seonghwa's other side as San. Of course, you've seen Ateez before, you're under the same company, but it was always just from afar and never this close. "Oh, you're one of the trainees, right," Wooyoung asked you.

You nodded and answered with a simple, "Yes." You were promptly overthinking everything you did, was your answer too short, did they recognized that you were nervous because you were playing with the hem of your shirt, should you say something, and if so what should you say? "I was just about to leave, so...," you said and awkwardly looked at the three men blocking the exit.

They got what you were trying to say and moved into the room so you could leave. You were glad to finally leave the situation, only to bump into the leader of Ateez, Hongjoong, as soon as you left the room. Both of you apologized at the same time, your eyes met and there it was again, the same weird tension that you had earlier with Seonghwa. Weird, you thought to yourself and hurried past Hongjoong after muttering another quick sorry.

You only noticed the heat in your face when you finally left the building, and the cool breeze of the summer evening touched your face. The sun was already setting, you had to think of Ateez. They would probably practice until it was deep into the night. You took out your phone to check the time and to see if you got any messages, it was already 7 pm. Seohyun wrote you an hour earlier.

Seohyun: When are you coming home?

I'm coming back now. :You

You put your phone back into your pocket and made your way back to your dorm. All of the other members were sitting in the living room when you arrived home, their eyes were glued to the screen, watching Stranger Things. Only Areum was munching on some snacks, causing you to shake your head. If she continued like that she would definitely get in trouble with our management.

But most importantly and also the reason why you had a frown on your face, was that they continued watching Stranger Things without you. You furrowed your eyebrows. "I practice longer for one time, and you guys just watch it without me?"

You got no answer besides a disinterested hum from Seohyun, you sighed and dropped down on the couch beside Yungjae. Currently, Steve, one of the main protagonists, was fighting against a pack of Demogorgons. Confused you stare at the screen, you have no idea what lead to this situation, guess you'll have to watch what you missed alone later.

"Alright, it's time we go to bed. Our day tomorrow is packed with practicing," Donghyun said after another episode and stood up.

Areum groaned in annoyance. "When do we not? Come on just one more," she pleads with him, only to be met with a warning look from Donghyun. She rolled her eyes but doesn't argue any further. "Alright, Dad! Do I also get a goodnight kiss?" She mocked him and quickly ran out of the room before he could give her one of his lectures.

Yungjae snorts and leaves too but not without a "Goodnight Dad!" You could still hear him snicker to himself when he already left the room.

You left too and retreated to your room. The comfort of your bed was heavenly and finally let you relax your sore muscles.

It was on the next day during the practice break when you were surprised by Ateez for the second time. All of the members came into the practice room and they even brought your group Iced Coffe, which Wooyoung handed out to you.

"We wanted to cheer you guys on, your debut is in three weeks right," Hongjoong asked and let his gaze wander over all of the Illusion members. You didn't notice his eyes lingering on you a little longer than on the others, because you were busy stirring the coffee in your hands.

Yungjae nodded eagerly, his eyes were shining while talking to them. He was, just like you, a big fan of Ateez and also wanted to become an idol because of them. "Yep and you are holding a Concert next week, right?" You rolled your eyes, for the past two weeks he talked about nothing, but the upcoming Ateez concert.

"That is actually the reason why we're here today," Hongjoong said with a smile. "We wanted to invite all of you to our concert next week."

Yungjaes and your eyes grew wide, excitement sparked through the room, only Donghyun stayed calm. Seohyun and Areum were both thanking the leader of Ateez while you were still too stunned to speak. Your mind was already on the concert, where you would be surrounded by Atinys who loved them just as much as you did, singing together and waving their lightsticks.

"Seonghwa is right you are pretty." You were ripped out of your daydream by Wooyoungs voice, only to see that he was looking at you. Everyone was confused on why he said that out of the blue, only Seonghwa was staring at him with murderous intent in his eyes.

The atmosphere now turned awkward, the other Illusion members were staring at you, and you could feel the heat creep up your face. Yeosang who was standing beside Wooyoung smacked him over the head, scolding him. "What are you even talking about."

Hongjoong cleared his throat to draw the attention back to him. He too glared at Wooyoung, who was still grinning, before he said, "Well, we are going to leave you to it then. We'll see you at our concert!" The other members of Ateez gave you all a quick goodbye before they left again.

"What in the world was that," Seohyun asked after all of you sat in stunned silence.

Areum snorted, crossed her arms over her chest, and gave you a meaningful look. "Well apparently Y/N here, got something going on with Seonghwa."

"What-," you looked at her with big eyes. Your face has just cooled down, but her comment made the heat in your face flare up again. "No I don't, I just coincidentally met them yesterday after practice."

Areum still gave you a doubtful look, but the others didn't question you any further. "Whatever, the break is over, let's get back to work." Donghyun clapped his hands to get the attention to him. You were thankful to get out of this awkward situation and just hoped that Areum or Yungaje wouldn't bring the situation back up later.

The week went by extremly fast and before you knew it, it was the day of the concert. Every day was the same the past week, you woke up, ate breakfast, went to practice, and went home again. The only difference was that for some reason you met Seonghwa every day, most of the time after practice but sometimes during your break too.

You weren't sure but you had a feeling that Seonghwa was purposely trying to meet you. But Seonghwa wasn't the only thing on your mind, a few days ago after practice you found a note taped to your water bottle. Someone must have put it on there when you went out to get something to eat. The note was a threat, 'Don't get too close to Yungjae and Donghyun, or I will kill them.' was written on it.

You only rolled your eyes at it, you assumed that it must have been a Sasaeng, who either slipped into the building or disguised themselves as a Staff member. You decided to not tell your members in order not to worry them, and instead just reported it to your management.

"Y/N are you ready, we're leaving now. With or without you." Yungjae was pounding on your door, you couldn't help but roll your eyes when you opened it. You barely dodged his closed fist from hitting you in the face.

Glaring at him you push past him. "Calm down. I'm just as excited as you are, but that doesn't give you the permission to knock my door down!" You flick his forehead as you walk past him into the living room, where everyone was already waiting.

Seohyun raised an eyebrow at you when she saw you entering the room. "What happened? Normally you're the first one to be ready."

You shrugged your shoulders. "Nothing, I just forgot my banner." You showed her the folded pink banner that you were holding.

"Banner," Areum asked skeptically and snatched it out of your hand to unfold it. Seonghwas name was written in bold letters on it. "I knew it," she mumbled and raised her eyes from the banner to you. "You do have something going on with him, don't you?"

"No I don't," you sighed in annoyance and took the banner back from her. "How often do I have to tell you? I just admire him, he's my bias after all." You're saying the truth, but you were hiding the fact that you got butterflies in your stomach, every time you saw him and talked to him.

"Stop bickering, or we're really going to be late," Donghyn said before anyone could question your relationship with Seonghwa any further.

The concert was amazing, your seats were right in the middle and you were surrounded by countless cheering Atinys. At some point Wooyoung pointed out that Illusion was also attending their concert, he told their fans to look forward to your debut and that they hoped that Atinys would show you a lot of love in the future.

The only thing that was throwing you off was Hongjoong glaring at you, every time your eyes met his. At first, you thought he wasn't looking at you, but after some time it became very obvious, that he was in fact looking at you. You knew that his stage persona could be very intimidating, but this didn't feel like just his stage presence, this felt personal.

Areum noticed too and pestered you with questions about it after the concert. "Maybe he's jealous." She joked and eyed the pink banner with Seonghwas name on it. Jealous of what? You ignored her and just continued to let her theorize about why he was glaring at you like that the whole time.

Just a week after that, two days before your debut did your life start to go downhill. Not only did you feel like someone was constantly watching you, but you also lost a person you liked that day.

You were alone at the dorm, the other Illusion members went out but you told them that you were tired and wanted to stay home.

It was in the middle of the night when the bell rang, you were still sleep drunken when you went to open the door, it's one in the morning, you thought angrily. Who in their right mind would ring at this time. You opened the door to see Hongjoong standing in front of you, he smelled like fire, his blue hair was messy as well as his makeup, it looked like he had been crying.

"What happened?" Your anger was quickly replaced by concern, you opened the door a bit wider allowing him to come inside your dorm. You were a bit confused about why he came to you since you two weren't particularly close, you didn't even see each other often.

Hongjoong sat on the couch in the living room, he buried his face in his hands and took a few deep breaths before speaking. "There was a fire at our Entertainment." His voice was barely above a whisper. You sat down beside him and soothingly put a hand on his back, he seemed pretty exhausted.

You felt a lump in your throat, that no matter how often you tried to swallow it down, wouldn't leave. The fact that Hongjoong himself visited you in the middle of the night, could only mean that something more happened than just a fire.

He now looked at you with pity in his eyes. "I thought I should tell you what happened in person since you and..." his voice trailed off and something different than sadness and pity flickered across his eyes, you couldn't make out what it was because it was gone as fast as it came.

"Seonghwa is dead. And all of the other members too." His empty gaze was fixated on the black TV screen in front of him, he could see the reflection of you and he could see how you shook your head in disbelief.

It felt like someone just punched you in the gut and before you knew it you were crying uncontrollably. Ateez was always a safe place to you, you followed them since their debut, and to think that they were just gone now. It nearly drove you insane, if you could give your life for them you would do it, but it was too late.

Hongjoong held you in his arms until you stooped crying, your throat hurt and your eyes stung every time you blinked. You clung to Hongjoong and couldn't help but to feel guilty, you used him as your support, but how must he feel. He lost his friends who were like brothers to him.

You glanced at him but nothing could have told you how he was feeling at this moment, his face was completely empty. "Are you okay," you asked quietly, your voice was a bit hoarse.

His eyes flicked to yours as he nodded, but you didn't believe him. There was no way he could feel alright after this, no one could feel good after something like this, but in the end, you couldn't see what was going through his mind.

You two sat in silence for some time until Hongjoong asked, "Should I stay the night here?" You thought about it for a second and then agreed. You didn't want to be alone, you didn't know when the others would get back, so Hongjoong was your best option and quite frankly you didn't want him to be alone either.

You fell together with Hongjoong asleep on the couch while watching TV, you wanted to distract your mind but it didn't work. Only sleep finally silenced your busy thoughts.

Your debut was postponed due to the tragedy of Ateez, it was two weeks later that you finally debuted, but you couldn't be happy. Your thoughts always drifted to Seonghwa and the rest of Ateez, Yungjae too was still mourning their death, as well as their fans. Your debut, even though it was postponed was still overshadowed by the grief of the death of the Ateez members.

Even a year later did their deaths affect your group. Some Atinys, not all of them but some, hated Illusion, they thought that you took advantage of the tragedy and that you were happy that your biggest competition from KQ was gone.

They couldn't be further from the truth, you couldn't listen to any of the old Ateez songs without tearing up, it hurt to hear their voices and to see their faces.

Hongjoong debuted as a soloist, he called himself The Trickster and he was pretty successful. He had the unconditional love of Atinys and he gathered a good amount of new fans.

The only positive thing that happened to you this year was that you and Hongjoong grew closer, you two ended up being good friends and helped each other with the grief. Areum of course thought that there was more going on than just friendship, but you always told her that there wasn't.

One night when you finished up your work and wanted to go home, you came past the open door of the studio, the lights inside were still on. You thought you were the only person still at the Entertainment, out of curiosity you entered the room but no one was there.

You were about to leave when you caught sight of a black digital recorder laying beside the mix desk. You've seen it before, it belonged to Hongjoong, you bit your lower lip. You know you shouldn't, but the temptation to take a sneak peek at whatever he had recorded with it was strong.

In the end, you gave in and decided to listen, just for a short second, you thought. You weren't going to tell or show it to anyone anyway. At first, you furrowed your brows when you heard nothing but footsteps and something rustling in the background, but then you heard Hongjoong's voice. "Save your energy," he said and chuckled. "I need you energetic when we start the show!"

It was silent for a second and then you heard someone begging, "Please- Please don't hurt me!" The person was evidently crying. "Please I do anything you want!"

You heard Hongjoong's chuckle again and a second later a blood-curdling scream. You dropped the recorder out of shock, you cringed at the loud noise it made when it dropped on the wooden table. You had to get out of here quietly, you didn't know what was going on but you knew that it wasn't something good.

A click behind you, the sound of the door to the studio closing made you freeze, you didn't dare to turn around. You heard your blood rush in your ears. Another click, the sound of the door being locked.

"Did no one ever tell you, that you don't go around snooping in other people's stuff?" Hongjoong's velvet voice reached your ears, but you still didn't dare to turn around. You knew that you discovered something you shouldn't have.

You heard him walk closer to you until he stopped right behind you, you uncomfortably felt the heat radiating from his body. He put his hand on your shoulder, his grip was strong as he turned you around to face him. He smirked when he saw the fear on your face. "You really should not have done that, my dove."

"What was that?" Your voice was just a whisper, you almost didn't hear it yourself because of your loud heartbeat in your ears.

Hongjoong eyed the recorder on the table before he looked at you again, he came even closer to you and you backed away until the edge of the table pushed painfully into your back. "That, my dove, is the next song for my comeback," he answered. He sighed when he saw the confused look you gave him. "Those natural and heartfelt screams make great background noises for my music," he explained and smiled, it was a crazy smile.

"That's sick." You shook your head in disbelief. You felt your stomach churn as you realized, that you listened to a recording of Hongjoong murdering someone.

"Oh no." He put his hands on the table on each side of you, you were now completely trapped by him. "This is art, my art."

You felt nothing but disgust and rage for the man I'm front of you, you trusted him, he was your friend but you completely misjudged him. "This is not art, this is murder! You are a murderer, Kim Hongjoong!" You felt tears well up in your eyes. "How would you feel, if someone would have done this to the rest of Ateez?!"

You couldn't stop the tears from streaming down anymore, your vision was blurred but you could still make out the change in Hongjoongs expression. "How would I feel about that?" He repeated a bit quieter and chuckled.

He used his thumb to wipe away a tear on your cheek before he moved his face closer to yours. His mouth was beside your right ear when he whispered, "I never told you this, for obvious reasons," he chuckled. "But I could've saved them from that fire. I didn't though, I liked the way they were screaming my name in agony knowing very well, that their survival is dependent on me." He chuckled again and moved his face away to look at you, an expression of shock and disgust was written all over your face. "I wanted to hear it again, the desperation and fear." His eyes were wild and your heart was pounding, you knew that you would die if you didn't try to escape.

He fixated his eyes on you. "It's a shame that you had to snoop around in my stuff." He sighed a pout was displayed on his lips. "You and I both know, that I can't let you get out of this alive now." There it was, he spoke out the very thing you were afraid of. He would kill you.

"But I want to tell you another secret before I kill you." He suddenly held a knife to your throat, you didn't even notice that he had one with him. He let the tip of the knife graze over your skin as he continued to speak. "Seonghwa planned on killing the other Illusion members."

You sucked in a breath and glared at him, it was like a switch turned in your head that caused you to snap at him. "Shut up," You screamed, fire was burning in your eyes. "Don't you dare spread such lies about him!"

"You think Seonghwa was a saint, huh? Sweet Seonghwa, who would never do something bad to you, right?" He scoffed and shook his head. "No, he definitely wasn't a saint. I saw him slip this little note to you." Hongjoong said that with such a disinterested tone, it made you sick.

You remembered the note that was taped to your water bottle, but I couldn't have been him. You didn't want to believe that Seonghwa would do something like that, you'd rather believe that it was Hongjoong himself who did that.

Hongjoong who was reading you like an open book rolled his eyes, he knew what you were thinking. "No it wasn't me, just accept it Seonghwa wasn't as perfect as you thought."

"How can you say something like that," you asked a bit frustrated. "I thought he was like a brother to you."

He observed you for a few seconds and then answered, "Yes he was like a brother to me," his face turned sour. "Until he decided to constantly hover around you."

You shook your head in disbelief, you wished that this was just a bad dream but the cold tip of the knife against your skin, reminded you that it was in fact real.

Hongjoong sighed dramatically as he pressed the knife more into your skin, enough to draw a little bit of blood. "Now that we have this over with let's get to the fun part." He lowered the knife from your neck and let it hover around your stomach area. "Maybe I'll let you live, if you're good now and scream for me."

You tried to back away but there was no way for you to escape. Never, you thought determined, never would you give him what he wanted even if it meant that you would die. "Scream my name for me," he whispered before he finally struck you.

You could only brace yourself for the pain that was about to come, the sharp knife pierced through your skin like it was butter. It hurt like hell the adrenaline rushing through your body buffered it a bit, but you couldn't help but let out a muffled groan of pain. You bit your lower lip in a desperate attempt to let no sounds out, in order to not give him this satisfaction. "Just say my name sweetheart, it's not that hard," he said in a soft tone as if he didn't just bury a knife to the hilt in to your guts.

You could feel the burning sensation of the pain coursing through your body, it made it hard to breathe, and moving was impossible. "I would rather die," you hissed through clenched teeth

He chuckled and caressed your cheek with his free hand. "I can arrange that." He brought his face closer to yours, his hand wandered from your cheek to your chin which he promptly held in an iron grip. His next words were nothing but a whisper against your lips, "Because if I can't have you or hear your beautiful screams, no one will."

Hongjoong didn't wait for a response and instead twisted the knife in your stomach before he pulled it out. That was too much for you, you finally let out the scream that he desired so much, you didn't scream his name but he was still satisfied hearing you. "Should've just done what I asked you to do. Your life would have been so good by my side."

You always knew that your stubbornness would eventually be the death of you, but you never thought that the, now former, happiness of your life would also be the reason for your death.

You felt cold and you longed for Seonghwa to comfort you, but there was only Hongjoong with this crazy glint in his eyes. You were slowly gliding to the ground and Hongjoong followed you, he held you in his arms, your blood was staining his clothes and his hands. You wanted to push him away but you couldn't.

"Don't worry, we'll see each other again." Your vision became blurry but you could see that he was smiling and before you knew it he pressed a kiss against your lips. You felt disgusted and were glad when the darkness finally consumed you. You didn't notice the black fog anymore, that engulfed you two and took you to a world full of suffering and constant death.

Post Entity

You just finished telling your story to Kate, Nea, and Leon, a heavy silence envelopes you.

Nea is the first one to say something, she sighs in annoyance, but not because of you it is because of herself. "Listen, I'm sorry. I hated you because I thought that you did this on purpose." She looks at Kate and Leon to see if they agree with her before she continues. "It looked like you were working together with him, what would you have done in my position?"

You nod at Nea. "No it's okay, I understand how it must have looked like from your perspective." You let a small smile play on your lips when you add, "I'm also sorry for blowing up at you the last time." You both fall into a pleasant silence, the tension that was previously always surrounding you at the campfire was now gone.

"Now with that tension out of the way, we're going to be an unstoppable team," Kate says. She and Leon were both glad that the conflict was gone now, it was already hard enough to be stuck in this realm. No one wanted an unnecessary fight between the team members.

Tag: @mwitsmejk

#ateez imagines #yandere ateez #ateez yandere #yandere hongjoong #hongjoong x reader #ateez x reader #hongjoong imagines #ateez x you

185 notes · View notes

panlight · 1 year

Note

First off, I want to just say congratulations and thank you for keeping this blog alive for so long. I've been following you for YEARS at this point and it's crazy to think just how long it's been. Secondly, how do you feel about the Cullen relationship dynamic? Most people I talk to don't mind the foster family story, but just wish Carlisle and Esme were older and/or the "kids" were younger. But I much rather prefer the idea that some of them are "blood related". I always think that Esme and Edward are related (siblings/nephew and aunt), Carlisle and Rosalie are related (siblings/niece and uncle), Emmett and Alice are siblings, and then everyone else married into the family. To me it adds a bit of a foundational arguement for why they all seemingly look alike to outsiders and why there's so much "incest" going on. Having a bunch of foster kids that have sex with each other just gives me the creeps.

I think a lot of this problem comes from SM creating the Cullens kind of backwards. That is, instead of being like "okay, if we had a group of vampires living together in a family-like structure, what might that look like?" she was instead like: "So! Edward needs a sister, her name is Alice and she's psychic. He needs parents, too, a mother and father. He needs a brother, too, someone fun. Oh and I guess Alice and the brother will need partners, because true love" and we end up with the Cullens in canon.

(As an aside, I'm going to be talking mostly about the cover story going forward, as while I do think they are a family I think it's a 'family' in a looser sense than literal mother/father/kids and sisters/brothers. They used those terms sometimes but they are words for human relationships and the vampire family dynamics aren't a perfect one to one fit with the human counterparts -- ie Rosalie and Edward are siblings in that they have the same creator; but so does Esme, and none of them think of her as a 'sister.' Edward thinks of Emmett as a brother, but Rosalie obviously does not. Also birth order kind of means nothing because Emmett is physically the oldest while [until Bella] chronologically the youngest sibling. Which is all to say, it's complicated.)

I agree that they should have just said some of them were related. They do that with Esme and Rosalie and Jasper, saying she is their aunt who took them in. But that's a weird choice because Rosalie and Jasper don't look like Esme, who is a brunette of average height. They LOOK like Carlisle -- tall blonds. Of course nieces and nephews don't have to look anything like their aunts or uncle, but if you were going to go with that cover story, wouldn't it make more sense to claim they were related to Carlisle? Rosalie could still use 'Hale' if her fake mother were Carlisle's sister and her equally made up husband.

But I do prefer the sibling angle, because Esme and Carlisle are not physically that much older than their 'kids.' I can buy them having a parental dynamic in the vampire truth sphere, but they cover story makes no sense. Rosalie and/or Jasper could easily be Carlisle's siblings and if Rose insists on keeping Hale, then Carlisle could use that name or they could be half-siblings with different fathers. Likewise Esme and Edward have reddish tints to their hair, it makes sense for them to be related. They have the largest age gap of anyone in the family -- 26 and 17, so 9 years -- so they could be an aunt/nephew situation, or an older sister who looked after her brother when their parents died (I believe in the guide it mentions they have used this cover story before, when it was just Carlisle, Edward and Esme. C/Es were a couple and Ed was Es' little brother). That all just makes more sense with their ages than going with a public story of literal parents. Carlisle is 23, Emmett is 20. You can't tell me that standing next to each other people wouldn't be able to be like "hey . . . you look about the same age" no matter how old Carlisle dressed/acted or how young Emmett did.

I also think it makes sense to lean into the fact they do share some features -- the pallor, the eye color. Pretending it's all a coincidence that they adopted people who look like that seems farfetched.

The other option that I like it pretending they all have some obscure illness and that's why they look alike and that's why they are living with a doctor -- Carlisle is young, but he's the foremost expert on this made-up disease and parents send their kids to him for treatment. Maybe there's even a sun sensitivity issue which is why Forks.

Either of these options make way more sense than a 23-year-old and 26-year-old pretending to be in their late 20s/30s adopting a bunch of teenagers.

#asks

40 notes · View notes

talkaboutthatfilm · 1 year

Text

10.05.23~ Wednesday

WHY I LOVE ALMOST FAMOUS (2000) - A Film by Cameron Crowe-

I think it would be most appropriate if I debuted (if you will) talking about one of my favourite films, though that title shouldn’t have a hefty weight to it. I fell in love with this film a while back, in a moment where the soul craved an escape into a 70s rock scene, & it landed in the best place. Last year, I watched this film- & I wish it was an exaggeration- around 50 times. Whenever a pick me up was needed, I sought it out. Why? That’s what I’ll talk about now~

Where to start? The favourite thing is easily the music, all of it just fits into place. It is elevating, & gives you such a good taster for what that era had to offer, especially to someone who might not know a lot about the 70s but wants to learn- the soundtrack is highly recommended. For those of us who already know a bit, it was a nice toasty reminder of the best songs that fit into each mood of the film, & reminded you to just slip those songs back into your playlists. Easily, if the music doesn’t feel like your vibe, I feel like the film kind of slips away a bit, but stick with it! I think there is something highly beautiful about the characters that I’m going to leave you to discover, because tbh, I don’t want to talk about them all. However honourable mention to fringe guy (Ed) who spills his guts on the shaky plane, I got you babe, Sonny & Cher style. Also holy mother of fuck! The amount of just amazing actors in this film…where do I begin? Kate Hudson, Billy Crudup (he is also in another favourite of mine; 20th Century Women- maybe I’ll write about it; we won’t mention Alien Covenant…), Patrick Fugit (love his surname), Anna Paquin (honourable Trick ‘r Treat mention?), Zooey Deschanel (who’s that girl?), Jason Lee (I don’t have to mention his career), Philip Seymour Hoffman, Frances McDormand, bloody Jimmy Fallon, Fairuza Balk, Noah Taylor (submarine man), Rainn Wilson, Eric fucking Stonestreet just showing up outta nowhere, same as Nick Swardson (bowie!!!) & Susan Yeagley (you have a good day) just casually being there for 2 seconds. Ok I’ll stop geeking out for no reason, it’s just exciting!

I think I’m gonna just dive in. This film is special to me because of the way it changed me. I always daydreamed this idea of what I wanted to be like, & then I saw Penny Lane for the first time, & I watched in awe, because she is everything I’ve always wanted to be. & it made me realise that nothing is stopping me, I can be extroverted & talk to people. It doesn’t cost much to open yourself up like that, & to be honest her character isn’t perfect, she is flawed, but in the ways I am, which reminded me to be more gentle with myself, & also it puts everything into perspective. Penny is lonely, she is “surrounded” by people, but in reality none are there for her, she is there for everyone. When it comes to shedding this persona she has crafted, no one wants to hold the girl underneath it all, apart from William, who is the only person who genuinely loves her. She to others is a means of time-passing entertainment, while she?- a young girl who’s influenced, falls in love with everything, she is incredibly perceptive & though she acts tough, she gets heartbroken & falls apart like all girls do at 16, she was a victim of a power-play relationship; we could deepen on that, but at the moment I want it to be surface level, this was the 70s, & it was incredibly common & not spoken of, all hush hush. I think the most heart-breaking scene to me is her birthday scene, this is cut out & in the extended versions, but to sum up: it’s right before the ‘what kind of beer?’ scene, & the façade is coming to an end, everyone is getting ready for the next adventure, & Penny doesn’t know where else to go. She just assumed she’d be with Russel, & as she cuts more cake & asks anyone if they want any more, everyone starts quietening around her; she practically asks a void, then loses her voice, & the dawning reminder that she has to start leaving enters her mind. She half smiles through this whole realisation, but you can see her heart start to crack under it all. She was just a pawn in their game, they knew this, let her think otherwise, & it just reminds me of all those times of suddenly feeling like the place you knew so well wasn’t shaped for you anymore, & you start to outgrown it, or more, it starts to outgrow you, & you lose your footing. I think this scene changed my perception of Penny’s character for me a lot. Initially watching the film I star-gazingly watched her, but as I got older & paid attention to the small moments that valued a lot in her character, I realised her whole act is just that, an act. & there’s a frightened young girl who wants to also be just as loved as this Penny Lane, Lady Goodman, & she is the true person who is only ever shown to William. I do want to mention, I don’t think William or Russel is a fit for Penny, I think, though William’s love is more authentic, he is young, & regardless of if he realises, he won’t benefit her much. I do think he loved her for herself rather than what she could be for him like Russel does, but I think Penny needs someone who isn’t involved in all of that rock n roll life. Last thing to mention with Penny Lane naturally is her clothes, I’ve also purchased an afghan coat that I wear every winter, & it makes me live out my best Penny Lane dreams. But I’ve read a LOT about what the costume designer (Betsy Heimann) has said about how Penny Lane’s clothes were fashioned. & I read a lot about how the coat was more than a coat, it symbolises her ferocity & strength when it’s on, a shell, without it she is wearing not much material, she is bare, & that is the real Lady Goodman underneath it all. However I will say I love that the fur on the coat is actually an Urban Outfitters rug that has been dyed a ton. I wish I could have that coat…one day.

I think we have to talk about William, doy. I think I also relate to him a lot, I also think he & Penny are so much more similar than he realises, because she is living in the world he wants to, but she is just as much an outsider, it’s all about how you present yourselves in those environments. William is playing us, the audience, he goes through the same motions of awe & admiration at this incredible life that happens on the road, it’s jolly & warm in the beginning, he is excited to be a part of something at first, not realising he doesn’t fit in with their views of the world, as Lester Bangs states, he is ‘uncool’, which he feels (we could argue that then means as the audience that we too are uncool spectators of their lives just like him; important to consider that Cameron Crowe wrote the film basically about his life as a rock journalist, so his POV is our POV). What even does ‘cool’ mean to each & every person? Something different, I think it’s not such an argument to make about William’s coolness, but instead to consider what the rock n rollers think cool is, which is themselves, William is a dorky guy who does journalism & carrier a tape recorder around with a notebook glued to his palm. Things to consider guys. Aside from his outside not fitting in (maybe a mullet would fix it?) he also actively stands outside from what they are doing, because he is there to watch them, but you can feel that sense of wanting to be them by the way he looks at them. I think I like William’s character because I also think he goes through the different stages of being with musicians, it’s so cool at first, as Lester Bangs says, ‘they make you feel cool’ & like he is their friend, but he is not. & I appreciate his innocent & honest outlook on all of it, sometimes he kind of seems like the kind of person who is at the wrong place at the wrong time, he just is there as a stepping stone, then gets used up like Penny. I will be honest, I don’t know much to say about William now, maybe because I left it for a bit & came back so my train of thought on William has strayed. But also, he is 15, & so I don’t really know how to judge a character as much when they’re half-baked as people (not half-baked characters- 15 is just so young, you’re so unfinished). I rather just appreciate his views, & that he doesn’t let them corrupt his innocence as much, unless you account the band-aids all sharing the room with him…

I think without a doubt, the best & most overlooked character is Lester Bangs, he says some things that just always light up my perception of everything. He is an incredible character. We don’t know MUCH about him personally, though he is a big music connoisseur, so maybe that really is all he is. But the scene with him in the café with William (lol also at the ‘I don’t have time to sit around & talk to my many fans’), he says something I think, if anything is to be taken from this film, it is this line: ‘be honest & unmerciful’, go headstrong into the world, be soft when the moments call, but if you’re honest & open, then you’re doing something right (with moderation of course). I think so much could be said about this great film, & to be honest cutting it short to this feels unfinished, maybe I’ll add stuff on later as it goes on. But I think it’s something everyone should really watch when they need to be taken away. It’s an easy film to follow, & I think it will mean either too much to some people, or others won’t find it a necessary watch. Whatever floats your boat?

I highly doubt anyone will see this, I am writing to clear my mind which is always so full of words. I watch so many films all the time, & I love to talk about them. Having an open space to just call out into any abyss (which is better I know nothing about where this is going to) feels like conversation enough. I’ll maybe write more, but in reality I just need to push forward & see how I can articulate my words in a better format & way, but for now. Diary entry style should work for me. That’s all. Thanks spooky!

P.S. I am more of an avid horror film fan, but I can be diverse!

8 notes · View notes

fullstcp · 9 months

Text

@sk8trboi

College is great. Really, it is. Gina's been having a great time in New York. NYU is a great school. Gina's classes are great and she's been learning more than she thought was possible. And she's dancing every day, which is quite possibly the best part of the whole thing. Getting to move and feel connected to her body in that way every single day is a dream come true. She thinks Miss Jenn was definitely on the right track when she told Gina she needed to audition for NYU.

It had been a reach school in the first place. You know, a shoot for the moon and you'll land among the stars kind of deal. A long shot, a near impossibility in Gina's book. But apparently she was wrong about that. They deemed her talented enough to be an incoming freshman in their musical theater program.

And she's honored. She knows that not everyone gets selected and that she's going to be studying with some of the most talented up and coming performers that there are. And she's prepared for that. At least she thought she was.

The program is just a lot more intense than she was expecting. And the other kids kind of look at her a certain way. As that girl from that shitty high school musical sequel. Making friends has been difficult and it's been slow going because they all just can't remove her from that role. They seem to think she already has a leg up on them, but that's not true.

But, even still, she feels like she has to work fifteen times harder to prove that she's there because of her talent and not because of that IMDB credit. And, on top of that, she's gotta keep her grades up for her gen ed courses. There's just a lot going on, and she knows that everyone else has the same stuff going on. It just feels like a lot. But she's fine, she's handling it. She's thriving (kinda).

But the one thing that hasn't changed, despite everything else being flipped upside down, is Ricky. Gina still has Ricky. And they'll be damned if they let distance cause any issues between them. They talk all the time. Seeing his name flash across her lock screen is enough to bring a smile to her face. And they facetime so much, there's no chance at her forgetting what he looks like. It's perfect. Really.

Except for the fact that Gina maybe has gotten a little distracted in some ways. She's averaging about three hours of sleep a night, if that, and she's not eating as many full meals as she used to. Her water intake is probably at an all time low. Because, well, she's so busy she kind of just forgets. She's got classes to attend, dance routines to practice ad nauseam, homework to finish and tests to cram for, auditions to attend. There's so much going on that there's so little time to just be Gina. Or for Gina to really be paying attention to the signals her body has been sending her.

It's the day of one of her dance midterms. It's for the class that's been kicking her ass all semester, and she needs to be perfect. She needs to ace this midterm. If she wants to leave herself in good standing with the professor she needs to be excellent today. And it should be no problem, really. Dancing is Gina's thing. She's always been good at it. She can pick up choreography like it's nobody's business. She's prepared. If the anxiety she's had around it is enough of a metric, then she's definitely ready for this.

And she does okay. She makes it through the warmup. She makes it through the first combination before the world starts to feel a little off kilter. Everything feels like it's just three inches to the left, even though she knows it isn't. She starts to mess up her turns. She's a little too much in the space of the person next to her. Her footing is all wrong.

There are dirty looks directed towards her from every which way. She knows it, she can feel them. She just knows that something's not right. They get a five minute break, and she heads over to her bag and chugs some water. She figures that'll be enough. She'll be fine for the third and final combination. The last part of the exam, the part that'll tell her if she's actually cut out for this program or not.

That's when it all really goes to shit. The water didn't help. Because a lot in a short amount of time doesn't do anybody any good. And she's watching as the professor starts to demonstrate the first four counts of the combination when the world starts to get blurry. Her body feels too heavy, and she doesn't really understand the feeling that's taking over her. She just knows that the world blurs until it's unintelligible. And then everything goes black.

She wakes up in a dim room. Her eyes are barely cracked open when she hears a beeping sound. She cuts her gaze to her left, in the direction of the sound, to find a screen with a spiking line going across it. A heart rate monitor. She sees an IV pole next to it with a bag of clear liquid strung up on it. So, she's in the hospital. So, she definitely failed that midterm. Which is just great.

Then, despite the pain in her neck and the heaviness that seems to go bone deep, she tilts her head in the other direction. And she finds the last person she expected to see there. Ricky. Her favorite person, someone she's always happy to see, but he shouldn't be here. He has classes and midterms of his own. He should be there doing that, he shouldn't be here for whatever this is.

"Ricky?"

#( this got so long. I am so sorry )#sk8trboi #it's one in a million the chances of feeling the way we do (verse 01 feat sk8trboi)#tw: dehydration #tw: passing out #tw: fainting #tw: hospital #tw: hospitalization #tw: stress #tw: anxiety

2 notes · View notes

novelmonger · 2 years

Text

I watched FMA: The Revenge of Scar on FMA Day and am only now talking about it shush leave me alone I was busy okay.

Both before and after watching it, I've come across a fair share of posts sharing their excitement about it, talking about it as something they enjoyed. And there's only one thought that comes to mind when I see them:

....Why?

I'm not trying to rain on anybody's parade or anything; I'm just genuinely confused. If you like these movies, what do you like about them? If you watched the first one and were excited when the sequel was announced, why? I'm just really confused, because I've watched two of these movies now, and...sorry to be blunt, but I thought both were a pile of crap ^^'

Am I just somehow missing everyone who's complaining about the movies? Or am I completely misunderstanding people who are trying to make the best of things? Because right now, I feel like I'm either left out of a huge, fandom-wide joke, or I've gone utterly insane.

I mean, I have sooooo many complaints against these movies, such as:

very fake-looking wigs and costumes (admittedly, they were a bit better in the second one)

Ed and Al were the only ones who could act their way out of a paper bag (I've only seen the sub, so can't speak to dub performances)

the CG looked so fake and ugly

even I noticed the awful greenscreen and masking lines

the transmutations were way too slow; I had horrible flashbacks to The Last Airbender x.x

terrible pacing, so both dramatic and comedic moments fall flat (which makes me want to cry, because Arakawa-san has such impeccable timing for both T^T)

nonsensical switching around of the timeline, creating problems for themselves they then have to scramble to solve in the most haphazard ways (like Ed's motivation to go to the ruins of Xerxes, which makes no sense now because they didn't have Ross go into hiding, so he had no reason to go into the desert; he just kind of...heard the word "ruins" and teleported to the desert)

WHAT ON EARTH WENT WRONG WITH ARMSTRONG WHY DID THEY GIVE HIM A PROSTHETIC SCALP JUST FIND AN ACTOR WHO LOOKS GOOD WITH A SHAVED HEAD GOODNESS GRACIOUS D:

Mei is waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old

the soundtrack is utterly forgettable, which is a huge shame when you compare it to the masterpieces of Michiru Oshima and Akira Senju that came before it

Envy's true form is nowhere near big enough

maybe a minor gripe, but the clapping and snapping for alchemy just...doesn't sound cool like it does in both animes :/ More realistic, I guess, but um...this is fantasy, you can let such things have big dramatic sound effects just because they sound cool....

why on earth does Winry have dark hair????? Why does everybody else have to wear awful wigs but she keeps her natural hair color???? aldkfjsa;kfljsdlfkjslkj;lkjsf

I was bored all the way through both movies and kept checking the time to see how much was left. Let me repeat that: I was BORED. In Full Metal Alchemist!

On the positive side, um.....

Ryosuke Yamada was basically the perfect choice to play Ed. He really nailed the character, and had some great expressions and deliveries that brought out Ed's personality without making it too cartoony and over-the-top (and I'm pretty sure that the problems I have with timing are more a fault of the director, rather than the actor)

I actually really enjoyed the scene where Ed and Al have their little confrontation about Al's soul being fake; it was new material, but 100% in-character, and full of the brotherly love that is at the heart of FMA

Nina is adooooorable :'3

Selim is also possibly the cutest little boy I've ever seen in my life; super hard to imagine him as a Homunculus, but that's kind of the point

props to them for the attention to detail required to recreate some scenes with even the same framing and angles as the manga now if only they'd also managed to recreate the pacing and emotional depth

Uh...yeah, that's all I've got. It really doesn't weigh out the negative side.

Again, if you liked the movies...please, I'm begging you, tell me why! I really want to understand ;_;

#fma #full metal alchemist #fullmetal alchemist #fma live action #you have no idea how much i wanted to love these movies #and i just...can't #they weren't even so-bad-they're-good #i was just disappointed and bored and annoyed #but i honestly want to understand what people see in them!#please share your thoughts!

14 notes · View notes

sunnyie-eve · 2 years

Text

37 | Freaks

Series: Trouble In Hawkins (Steve Harrington x Henderson! Eddie Munson x Henderson!)

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: Language, Fluff

March 20th, 1986

"You can turn your music back up after I get out and you're down the street." I turn Eddie's stereo down as we get closer to my house. "Right you snuck out." He laughs at me. "Plus it's past midnight and my mom will lose her shit, so try not to be loud when you pull up to drop me off." I tell him and he tries his best to not be loud as he parks. "See you in the morning, Ky." He waves as I get out. "By Ed." I giggle running around the house climbing through my window. As soon as I get in my mom turns on my light with her arms crossed, "It's past midnight on a school night. Where were you?" She points to my bed for me to sit down so I do. "I was hanging out with a friend and we lost track of time. I'm sorry." I mess with fingers. "What time did you sneak out?" She taps her finger on her arm. "After you went to bed so 9 o'clock." I tell her the truth. "I'm disappointed in you. You've been a mess since the break up with Steve. Get to bed now." She leaves my room so I change and go to bed.

The next morning I get up and get dressed for the day. I put on the Hellfire club shit Eddie gave me so I could support them, I wear some ripped jeans with converse and top it with Billy's jean jacket. "You taking the bus today or wanting a ride?" I walk into Dustin's room unannounced as he talks to Suzie. "What did I say about knocking?" He snaps at me. "You never knock on my door anymore. So?" I ask as I hear a blasting stereo and loud van pull up outside. "I'm busy fixing my one D minus. When the hell did you get a Hellfire shirt? You're not even in the club." He sees it. "Eddie gave me one of his extra ones. I sleep it it most of the time but I'm showing support today. My ride is here." I leave his room. "Bye mom." I rush outside hopping into Eddie's van.

"Then there's Heidi tomorrow night, but the problem with Heidi is that she's going out of state for college. Do I wanna start a another relationship that has no point other than sex? I mean, I don't know. Does that make sense to you?" Steve rants to Robin but she ignores him for three reasons. Wants to look good for Vickie; tired of him being stupid for not going back to Skylar; and she hates talking with him about other girls that's not Sky. "Robin are you listening?" He shouts at her. "Something about sex with Linda."

"No, I'm taking about Heidi!" He snaps. "Cut me some slack, please. Your love life is one of labyrinthine complexity. All because you decided to screw up the perfect relationship with someone who actually loves you. You abandon her when she actually needed you. Yes, she pushed herself away from everyone but you should have forced yourself to be there. You were there the first time so why not the second time? Plus it's 7 in the morning, we have a stupid pep rally, and I woke up looking like a corpse." She tells him irritated.

"You're worried about a pep rally? You expect me to believe that? We both know what this is about. Okay, I'm not buying that. This is about Vickie. You know what else I think? You gotta stop pretending to be someone else when you're around her. You just gotta be yourself. Also I get it I fucked up the best thing in my life but at least she doesn't 100% ignore me. We're somewhat friends still because of you and Dustin." He says making her laugh. "One; you're literally quoting me to me you do realize that. Two; you two are awkward when it's just the two of you near each other. There has to be someone with you both... you two aren't friends it's more like acquaintances now. It's been almost two months when are you gonna get your head out of your ass and get her back?"

"Maybe you need to listen to yourself. Ever think about that smarty pants? I listened. Look at me. Boom. Back in business because Sky moved on from me." Steve says making Robbin stare at him. "It's not the same thing... AND who said she moved on?" Robin says making Steve look over at her. "She hasn't?" He gets some hope. "You ask out a girl and she says no. Big deal nothing really happens. Maybe your ego's a little bruised and you don't help your case ever getting Sky back. But I ask out the wrong girl, and Bam, I'm a town pariah." She tells him.

"I'd buy that, expect Vickie is definitely not the wrong girl. She returned Fast Times paused at 53 minutes, 5 seconds. You know who pause Fast Times at 53 minutes, 5 seconds? People who like boobies, Robin." He explains to her. "Ew. Gross. Don't say boobies." She cringes. "Boobies. It's not a big deal, okay? I like boobies. You like boobies. Vickie likes boobies. Definitely." Steve says making Robin shake her head at him. "It's boobies." He adds so she rolls her eyes. "You miss Sky's boobies don't you?" She looks over at him. "Can we not talk about Sky's boobs?" He grips the steering wheel. "Why? It's boobies? You like boobies." She laughs at him. "I'm trying to be a good friend. Steve, it took you forever to admit you had feelings for Sky... you can't wait that long or longer to fix things. I know you still love her." She looks out the window trying to give him something to think about.

When Steve drops Robin off at the high school he sees Sky getting out of a van going over to the driver's side laughing and rolling her eyes. Steve knew he messed up and didn't know how to fix it. That day when she saw him on a date, he saw her heart break. He didn't even know why he did it. Maybe because Sky saying she needed space and ignoring him he took it as a break up even though it wasn't. He knew after each date for the past two months he was digging himself a deep grave to crawl out of to get her back and fix things.

"You're skipping the pep rally aren't you?" I walk over to Eddie's side as he sits inside. "You know I don't do that shit. See you in class." He give me a wink so I nod my head walking towards the gym. "Max." I call her and she give a small smile as we walk together and join Dustin and Mike. "Let's hear it for your Tigers!" The announce and the team comes out so I applaud slowly. "Good morning, Hawkins High! First off... Hey. First off, I'd like to thank each and every one of you." I roll my eyes as Jason gives his speech. "You know... I think I can speak for all of us when I say it's been a tough year for Hawkins. So much loss. And sometimes I wonder, How much loss can on community take? In dark days like this, we need something to believe in. So, last night, when we were down by ten points at half to Christian Academy, I looked at my team, and I said; Think of Jack. Think of Melissa. Think of Heather. Think of Billy." Max and I could feel a few eyes look at us. "Think of our heroic police chief, Jim Hopper." He says and goes on to compare their lost to some stupid basketball game.

Everyone cheers except Dustin, Mike, Max and I. "Tonight?" Mike asks realizing the game was tonight too. "How is that possible?" Dustin asks. "They call it a tournament. You win one game, you go in until there's only one team left." Max explains to them. When the pep rally was over we all head to class. "Sky." Robin rush to my side walking with me through the halls. "Morning." I give her a smile. Even though Steve and I are awkward right now it didn't change me and Robin. "You told Keith you refuse to work alone with Steve?" She makes me look at her. "Yes... because it's wired. Plus I saw him on a date last week so I don't want to really be alone with him. It hurts Robin because I kept and keep waiting for him to come back but he hasn't. It's been months he moved on and I guess I need to too." I close my locker.

"I'm not supposed to say this..." I put my hand up to stop her. "Then don't say it." I smile, "We made a deal a month ago no talking about Steve and I. See you later." I walk off. "But Sky!" She shouts but I ignore her. I walk into my first class taking my seat at the science table next to Eddie. "You look like shit." He chuckles as I dig throughout my bag. "Scale 1 to 10 how bad?" I look over at him. "Ten." He smiles so I roll my eyes, "Thanks, you look like a 10 on the shit scale too." I sigh. "What happened to change your peppy mood this morning? The pep rally suck out all of your peppiness?" He nudges me. "Yeah, Mason compared and used those who died in the mall fire to a basketball game."

Since Eddie knew I was close to Hopper and Billy, he could understand why my peppy mood was gone. "I hate him." He makes a fist. "You hated Billy too." I turn my head to look at him. "Very correct, he was a dick to everyone who wasn't his friends. But he made you happy so I'll give a very small percent of a pass." He says making me shake my head at him, "You say that like you knew slightly before I told you about our whole friendship relationship thing..." He moves his head around, "I kept an eye on you from a distance. You were a decent distant friend."

Later for lunch I make my way over to the were the Hellfire Club sat. As I walked up Eddie snapped his fingers for Jeff to get the empty seat next to him for me and put at the end of the table next to Eddie. "Thank you Jeff." I smile sitting down as he takes his seat. "Why are you wearing a club shirt? You're still not a member." Gareth asks me. "For support because it's an important day." I tell him. "I gave her one of my shirts." Eddie tells him taking my milk opening to take the first sip. "Really?" He gives me a smile putting it back in my tray so I snatch his bag if pretzels take it some. "I don't care." He smiles again before reading a magazine while the rest of us eat. "The Devil has come to America. Dungeons and Dragons, at first regarded as a harmless game of make-believe, now has both parents and psychologists concerned. Studies have linked violent behavior to the game, saying it promotes satanic worship, ritual sacrifice, sodomy, suicide, and even... murder." We laugh at the piece.

"It's the stupidest shit ever. It's a literally just a fantasy game. In all my years of watching and when I did play a little, never have I see my brother and his friends worship the devil or sacrifice anything living." I lean back in my chair. "Society has to blame something. We're an easy target." Dustin and Mike finally show up at the table. "Exactly. We're the freaks because we like to play a fantasy game. But as long as you're into band or science... or parties or a game where you toss balls into laundry baskets..." Eddie gets on the table so I move my tray as he shouts out. "You want something, freak?" Jason stands up making Eddie splutters making horns with his fingers and sticking his tongue out at him. "It's forced conforming. That's what's... killing the kids!" Eddie gets off the table yelling. "That's the real monster." He sits back down.

"So, uh, speaking of monsters, uh, Lucas has to do his, uh, balls-in-laundry-baskets games. So... he's not gonna be able to make it to Hellfire tonight." Dustin laughs as he talks to easy into it. "And I know there's no way we can beat your sadistic campaign without him. So, me and Mike, we were talking, shooting the shit, and we were thinking that maybe we might..." Mike cuts in, "Postpone." Making the group lose it. "Shut up! You saying Sinclair's been taken in by the dark side?" Eddie asks and I try not to laugh. "Uh, something like that." Mike tells him making Eddie upset. "And rather than find a sub for him, you want... you want to postpone The Cult of Vecna?"

"I...I don't want to postpone it. We don't want to postpone it. It's just that, you know, most of the subs will be at the championship game." Mike tries to explain making Eddie stand up. "On, it's the championship game? Can I level with you? Jeff graduates this year. Garth's got, what? A year and a half? Me, I am army-crawling my way towards a D is Ms. O'Donnell's. If I don't blow her final, I'm gonna walk that stage next month, I'm gonna look Principal Higgins dead in the eye, I'm gonna flip him the bird, I'm gonna snatch that diploma. I'm gonna run like hell outta here." He explains making Dustin laugh.

"Didn't you say that last year?" Granth asks. "And the year before?" Jeff adds. "Yeah, yeah, and I was full of shit. This year's different. This year is my year. I can feel it. 86 baby. You know what that means? It means you boys are the future of Hellfire. I knew the moment I saw you. You sat on that table right over there, looking like... looking like two little lost sheep." He bends between Dustin and Mike. "You were wearing a Weird Al T-Shirt, which I thought was brave." He tells Dustin making me giggle as he said thank you. "Mike, you were wearing whatever shit your mommy bought you from the goddamn Gap." We all laugh but the two stop when Eddie yanks them up. "And we showed you that school didn't have to be the worst years is your lives, right?" He walks them away.

"Eddie, you know I could help you in Ms. O'Donnell's, right. I'm passing with an A..." I say after he shoves Mike and Dustin off to find a sub for tonight. "You'll do some of my work for me?" He comes up behind me wrapping his arm around me. "Help as in help you do and understand things. Not help as in all do all your work for you." I laugh at him. "It was worth a shot." He sits down messing up my hair.

#stranger things #steve harrington #stranger things 2 #stranger things 3 #dustin henderson #el #max mayfield #steve harrington x henderson #robin buckley #mike wheeler #lucas sinclair #will byers #jonathan byers #nancy wheeler #eddie munson #stranger things 4 #eddie munson x henderson

12 notes · View notes

my-current-obsession · 1 year

Text

Contemplating more Rune Factory “Special” changes/updates I’d like. In this case, things I’d like to see changed/added in a hypothetical, absolutely NEVER going to happen Rune Factory 4 Special+ (or Super Special, or Special 2, etc.)

Obviously since this game already has an updated rerelease, this isn’t happening. But there are still a few ways I think it could be brought even closer to perfection.

- So most of my wants for a theoretical “5 Special” came from 4 Special. Similarly there WERE actually several upgrades or quality-of-life changes made in 5 I’d love to see come back to 4 (or more realistically, maybe they’ll show up in 3 Special!).

- PLEASE let me just examine the stone/lumber box and add in all the materials I have instead of manually taking out stacks and putting them in. You can also do this for fodder bins and the fertilizer, which is nice, but the stone/lumber is the BIG one.

- Automatically picking up items as you run over them is great! I’d love to see that in other titles.

- Tabbing between storage options or categories when cooking/forging/crafting is super convenient. Hopefully that comes back, because after getting used to it in 5 I keenly feel its absence and get a smidge annoyed in 4 when I have to make something and then back out entirely to choose to make something else.

- Make Illuminata a romance option! It’s not clear if she was ever intended to be one and then scrapped, but personally I think she was. She is the only character outside the marriage candidates to have a swimsuit model & sprite, and she has several town events where she is a primary focus, similar to the events that are prerequisites for other bachelor/ettes. Plus she has lots of dialogue explicitly pointing out that she’s single and WANTS to find love. There’s really no reason NOT to make her a love interest other than her taking care of Amber, but if Amber is old enough to be romanced/married, then she’s old enough to live alone too. And Illuminata could continue to run her store after marrying the same way that every other love interest continues to do their job.

- I actually prefer the dragons in 5, but I know A LOT of people would love to see Venti as a love interest, and I’m not opposed to that. She’d be locked to a post-game romance, but she does have a human appearance and she seems to be into Lest/Frey (given her conversation where she blushes and starts to ask “If I were a human...”). Narratively she IS the person Lest/Frey cares about most so she’s got the role of a love interest already, kind of. It would be difficult to do since they’d need to add/change the story to allow her to change to her human form, and probably add a few town events for her, but it would be great if it happened. And perhaps including this would help the... abrupt ending to Act 3.

- Make it a little less ridiculous to romance Doug. I understand narratively why his friendship is INITIALLY gated at 3, but I think it’s ridiculous that it stays there until you’ve beaten Act 2 (which is basically the end of the story proper...). I think it would make sense to unlock the initial gate near the end of or after Act 1. After Doug comes around and basically decides to trust you and help Venti, or right after you beat Act 1 (saving Leon), I think you should be able to progress his friendship further. That said, it makes sense to keep his romance gated, so maybe until you’ve beaten Act 2, he stops progressing at LV 6. This way he won’t be SO far behind everyone else and if you want to romance him you’ll be able to do so almost immediately after he becomes available instead of taking several weeks just to get him from 3 to 7. As someone who dated multiple people in a run, Doug is at a HUGE disadvantage due to his late availability combo-ed with his affection almost surely being worse than everyone else. You either have to wait to date ANYONE to try and snag him first at LV 7 or basically give up in favor of dating others because it will only get harder to date him with every subsequent boyfriend and he will probably always lag behind in terms of affection, making any other guy easier to add to the harem by comparison. Literally all of this is mitigated by just raising his gated affection from 3 to 6 partway through the story. Depending on how long it takes you to complete Act 2 and whether you’re plying him with gifts, you might not even HIT the new limit, but even if you do, if you want to romance Doug it would be much quicker and easier now.

- Give players the ability to manipulate town events, at least a little. Technically players can already manipulate town events by determining when one happens and then just save scumming until they get what they want, but I want an in-game method that’s intended to help get the events you want. That said this IS an RNG system and I kind of like that. I wouldn’t want it to give you complete control. But I think something like adding “Orders” to the game at some point that allow you to, say, spawn “only town events involving [name]” would be GREAT. I won’t get into the particulars of how early the feature should be allowed (personally I think end of Act 1, but it could also be after Act 2 or an “Extra Order” reward for beating Act 3 and available from the beginning in any new game) or how much each Order would cost. I just think being able to force the game to only pick from town events involving a specific person (and including any mini-events) would be nice. Once you’ve seen all town events involving that person (excluding the marriage event, which has priority anyway) the order is automatically canceled. You could also cancel it yourself at any time. With this feature it would be MUCH easier to get the prerequisites for your intended spouse, but there is still some element of RNG considering everyone has at least a few events they’re involved in that AREN’T their needed events. This would also be great for trying to get mini events for characters you haven’t seen before.

- Some kind of weather forecast would be nice. With the exception of typhoons, people in town only comment on the weather that is currently happening. And you can still get taken by surprise if no one happens to mention the incoming typhoon or if you don’t talk to everyone. I believe weather is probably RNG as well, but if it was randomized and set like a week in advance, it would be nice if there was a way to check the weather for the next few days. Obviously this is most useful for making sure you KNOW a typhoon or snowstorm is coming and could wreck your farm. It also has other small uses - if you know a thunderstorm is happening you can remind yourself to go to the area that requires that to unlock. You can plan outdoor dates knowing the weather in advance. I don’t know about the airship or observatory but I KNOW there are variations of the lake date depending on the weather, so if you want to see them all you need the weather to comply. This way you’d know ahead of time and be able to plan for it.

- Lastly, either the game needs to be smarter about characters equipping everything they’re “given” or it needs to give players a way to directly, manually change other’s equipment from all the items they have. This is MOSTLY a problem with Kiel specifically since he has a reoccurring quest where he asks you to give him a weak shield and then he equips it EVEN IF IT’S SUBSTANTIALLY WORSE than whatever he had previously (and thus the better shield just DISAPPEARS), but in general I wish characters wouldn’t just automatically equip whatever you give them. If the system checked to be sure it was better than what they already had, that would be ideal. Of course, then you’d have to define what makes it better - which stats matter most, or is it the difficulty level of crafting/forging the item, etc. Alternatively, characters could have a stash of every equipment item you’ve ever given them and you can manually go in and decide what they actually equip (similar to the original .hack games, if anyone’s played those. In that game, characters did automatically equip “stronger” weapons/armor but you could manually change them to whatever you wanted that they had).

Overall I think 4 Special is an AMAZING game and I love it a lot. Most of my complaints are quality-of-life changes, compared to my more substantial issues with 5 (which is still like, but not as much. I like these games mostly for the social/romance aspect and that’s where 4 blows 5 out of the water even despite the RNG of town events making it way harder to actually marry who you want). In both games I long for more love interests, but that can’t be helped. Partly I just crave the extra content that would bring, though I do genuinely like and would want to marry some of those people if I could.

#rune factory #rf4 #rune factory 4 #for the record i will not be doing this kind of post for other rf games. simply because i haven't played any others #i mean i played some Tides of Destiny YEARS ago but i'm not familiar enough with the game now to suggest changes #maybe i'll revisit this topic when we get 3 Special (which will be my introduction to 3)#but anyway if i could make only ONE of these changes happen... i'd pick the town event manipulation #fun fact - i played lest my first run and was into margaret from the start. started dating her as soon as possible #in that file i have played over 2 full years & beaten rune prana. STILL haven't married her since i don't have all her needed events #(i decided i wasn't going to save scum for events. i wanted to get what i got and have relationships feel more organic as a result)#i did eventually cave and start dating other girls... and more girls... and am now literally dating ALL SIX of them #i've seen all but margaret and forte's marriage events. the only reason i DON'T have forte's is because i just recently started dating her #so i haven't gone on enough dates yet. but mark my words once that third date is done i'll get her marriage event immediately #leaving JUST margaret left. the girl i was MOST into as the LAST girl i marry. the RNG was not kind to me #my two frey runs have been much better by comparison but i am similarly struggling to get leon #so yeah as somewhat irritating as the other issues are and as nice as the QoL changes would be...#i would take more control over town events in a heartbeat. no hesitation. trying to get married in this game SUCKS

5 notes · View notes

waitingforafriendblog · 4 months

Text

My love for food is so deep and my ED broke my relationship with food..

Picture this:

You’re in a straight jacket, laying face-up on a mattress, surrounded by 4 white walls…

Mac and cheese begins to fall from the ceiling.. So much so; that you’re now, buried underneath 2 tons of pasta....

That’s how I’d describe my love for food… Intense? Welcome to the wonderful world of living with an eating disorder..

Let’s dive in, to living life buried underneath food,, And the inevitable death of the relationship shared with food we love, most..

Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), or body dysmorphia, is a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about flaws in their appearance. These flaws are often unnoticeable to others. People of any age can have BDD.

When I was 8 years old, my body dysmorphia began to develop and started to haunt me… I was only in the second grade……

My jealousy took over when my best friend Alexa Burridge,, and I went swimming in her pool one summer afternoon…. One piece swim wear was the only bathing suit I had ever wore as a kid… But so many other girls were already wearing bikinis… Including Alexa…

As soon as we finished changing into our suits,, and I saw Alexa’s perfect body,,,, I ran to her bedroom and stood in front of the mirror and cried…. She so much skinnier than me… Her body is perfection.. It’s official. I’m the ugly, fat friend……

(We were literally the exact same size. Meaning, you could also, count my rib cage from 100 ft away)

Anorexia nervosa,, often simply called anorexia,,, is an eating disorder characterized by an abnormally low body weight, an intense fear of gaining weight and a distorted perception of weight. People with anorexia place a high value on controlling their weight and shape, using extreme efforts that tend to significantly interfere with their lives.

At 12 years old we had attended a Holiday/Christmas party… The catering that night was provided by The Olive Garden… (bet)

As the buffet began,, my anxiety to serve myself in front of 50+ people became so overwhelming I started to cry softly, my vision became blurry, dark, insulting, and cruel thoughts took over while I was surrounded by a lot of food, and a lot of people.

It seemed like I was in that buffet line for 10 minutes when in reality it only took me less than two minutes to fix a plate…

Sitting at just one of the many tables spread throughout the house… I approached a group of women, at least 9 of them..

“did you see Elena in there?? She got practically nothing..”

“Yeah I looked at her plate and it’s obvious she doesn’t eat..”

“I bet she’s hungry all of the time..”

“Elena needs help because there is definitely something wrong with that kind of behavior..”

“Why doesn’t she eat..”

“She’s way too skinny. She’s way too skinny. She’s way too skinny…”

Standing in the shadows I interrupted the topic of conversation…. Only to stand in front of the group of women, silently, for 10 seconds,,, with the most bitchy-disgusted look on my face….

Everyone else saw,, what I thought was invisible. Fuck…

Bulimia is an eating disorder in which a person has regular episodes of eating a very large amount of food (bingeing) during which the person feels a loss of control over their eating. The person then uses different ways, such as vomiting or laxatives (purging), to prevent weight gain.

When I was 16 years old,, I spent a week of my summer shadowing my Mentor at his workplace, that meant I had to eat in front of the people I loved most…. I didn’t want to look gross or disgusting or chew too loudly or eat too much or eat too little….. WHAT am I going to do?? Well, at that point my body dysmorphia took over my thoughts, and couldn’t allow me to physically eat,, anything.

I was so nervous if I did eat, I would for sure throw up at the dinner table…. We all know our limits when it comes to nausea……

“Dinner was great I’m going to go brush my teeth!!”

Collapsing in front of the toilet, I vomit the small amount of food I actually ate. And then, I brushed my teeth..

Luckily,, I was starved and my body wasn’t bloated from eating so we hit the pool….

“You never eat… We all know you’re bulimic,, or some shit….” (Ugh. Douche.)

Not thinking anyone noticed, I became so fucking embarrassed and ashamed… That night I cried myself to sleep… How the hell was I supposed survive 4 more nights, when everyone knows I’m a freak?

I’ve lost weight, I’ve gained weight, I’ve loved food, I’ve hated food…

But what’s past, is past…

i love food and I’m making it my responsibility for my daughter to have a healthy relationship with the plate in front of her..

Something no one has ever done, for me..

#journal prompt #journalling #eating disoder trigger warning #food #anorexia #bulmia #Ed binging #sad #embarrassing #insecurity #I hate celery #I hate blue cheese #I hate cauliflower #I hate feta cheese

1 note · View note

littleharpethcrossfit · 2 years

Text

Sunday, 7 August, 2022....... Warmup........Deadlifts.......... 18 Minute AMRAP.

Our good neighbor Robert gave me a large measure of crap the last few days after he realized that the CrossFit Games Finals would be happening while we were doing our 1 PM workout. When he finally understood that I was going to continue on with the workout schedule, he decided to bring a big flat screen TV to the Barn. His vision was that he would sit on the deck and watch with our group. So he wouldn’t be interrupted, he worked out with the elderly group at 0730. So with that background info, chaos ensued as other Games Watchers showed up at intervals and attempted to get parts of the workout done during intermissions. I got all of my workout done and saw most of the Games Finals. I trust everyone else did the same.

Warmup:

100 Partner Med-Ball Sit-ups.

Anybody who complains that we do these too often can expect to have to do 50 additional.

Strength WOD:

Deadlifts: 3 / 3 / 3 / 3 / 3

These should all be in your 80 to 90% 1 Rep Max range.

Bernie/Ed=305 Timmy=285 Zac=265 Coach/Paul=255 Herb/Manny=215 Mike=205 Dana=185 Sue=140 Elisa=125 Cheri=125 Linda=120 Warren A/Robert/Tom=no entry Others escaped the Border guards.

The Metabolic Conditioner:

18 Minute AMRAP

Score: Rounds and Fractions.

Run 200 / Row-Ski 250 / Bike ERG 500m

1 Toes to Bar

1 Deadlift ( Bodyweight ) ( Elite Plus 20% )

Run 200 / Row-Ski 250 / Bike ERG 500m

2 Toes to Bar

2 Deadlifts

Run 200 / Row-Ski 250 / Bike 500m

3 Toes to Bar

3 Deadlifts

Continue on in this pattern for 18 minutes.

Elites:

Robert=10 2/3 Dana=8 2/3

RXers:

Herb=9 2/3 Timmy=9 1/3 Sue=9 Bernie/Ed=7 1/3 Warren A=7

Honest People:

Zac=9 Linda=8 1/3 Cheri/Paul/Mike=8 Elisa/Tom=7 2/3 Coach=7 1/3 Manny=7

Notes:

At the end of the workout we enjoyed stiff cooling breezes and a smattering of rain. Perfect timing.

Big Mike showed up for is 4th workout, the last 2 on consecutive days. Mike has been very fortunate to have the private coaching of Coach Paul for 3 out of 4 of those days. At any other gym, private coaching costs at least $100 per hour. Maybe Big Mike should bring Coach Paul a six pack of Platinum.

We’ve had a bunch of birthdays recently. Probably something to do with the fact that it is now 9 months after the Holiday Season. Alicia was on the 2nd...she says I spanked her, but it must of been a Thursday. Paul’s birthday is today, and Zac’s special day is this coming Thursday.

After all the commotion mentioned in this blogs preamble, good neighbor Robert had to leave the Watch Party early to attend one of his kids activities, so he missed most of the CrossFit Games Finals and awards ceremonies. On his hurried Jeep trip over from the house next door, his un-secured big screen TV bounced around and got damaged. He says it belongs to the Barn now for us to watch ROM-WODS. As you might suspect, I got the blame for the damaged TV because I scheduled the workout during the Games Finals.

Timmy had a new Industrial Ice Machine installed (By Ed) at his Mansion House. This caused 2 huge bags of ice to be delivered to the Yeti Barn Cooler today. I’m hoping this continues until Winter.

Tuesday at 4 PM.

0 notes

mikithelibrarian · 2 years

Text

Guitar Lessons - Rosé - GN! Reader

Fluff

For the record, in this story you are two years older than Rosé and the story develops around the end of 2020.

Excuses, excuses, all for a time with you

You love music, you always did, ever since you were a child. It wasn’t something to be surprised of when everyone in your family loved it, each of them with a different preference but they still did. However, while they enjoyed somebody else’s music, you learnt to do your own, making you an avid guitarist and pianist. You even auditioned to become an idol, without any success, and after twenty-one companies telling you that you won’t make the cut in the industry, you decided to try for a different way and accepted a position as a vocal instructor in one of the companies you auditioned, YG. From then on, you’ve mostly been the happiest human being.

You started working very young, but you were still very talented, around 2014, just in time for what was to be YG’s most successful group initial project, BLACKPINK. Of course, you were a rookie, in normal circumstances you would be stuck teaching the new trainees, but someone looked at you and said you were special, that he wanted you to help him in the project, that was Teddy. From then on, you weren’t just a part of the project, you became their lyricist, their composer, their assistant producer and their vocal instructor, but most importantly, their friend. You were a rookie in the music industry, same as them, and that helped you to connect with the group, but with a certain member, it went beyond just connecting.

Be it your ability with the guitar, your personality or just simply everything around you, made the initially shy Roseanne to take an interest in you, same interest that developed into a crush up until she fell, and hard, for you.

From that point until now, some years have passed. You both have matured, gained fame and attention, but when you were alone it was as if you were back to 2015 when you both just had fun as the closest friends you are, but unfortunately time alone was becoming scarce. Her success made her travel all around the world; your success made you stuck in your office, writing for YG’s other groups, composing for them, the pressure piling up on you to have another viral success like “How you like that?” The company even hid collaboration offers for you to write and produce songs for other big names in the international music industry such as Ariana Grande or Dua Lipa. You wanted to leave YG, to grow and to travel all around the world but the idea of leaving BLACKPINK stopped you from doing so. Especially when Roseanne practically begged Teddy and YG to let you co-write and produce her solo project.

And that takes us here. Guitar lessons, that’s what she wanted of you. She said that she kind of forgot to play the guitar because of her busy schedule and wanted help in remembering. You, of course, ignored the fact that she always practiced at least once a week before going to sleep and accepted her request, just because you wanted time alone with her.

“Are you sure you forgot?” You asked her after she practically aced the song Perfect by Ed Sheeran in her own guitar.

She giggled nervously at your question and decided not to answer, instead she started playing another song, All of Me. Meanwhile, you became awestruck because of her. She looked so ethereal playing her guitar on the armchair of your living room, just beside you.

“(Y/N)?” Her voice calling your name snapped you out of your trance. Roseanne was looking directly at you, a smile plastered on her lips, a shine on her eyes and a slight blush on her cheeks. “Something’s on your mind?”

“Nothing” You answered while you took your guitar off your lap and rested it on the side of your own armchair. “I think it’s time to finish for today, your manager should be here by any minute”

“Alrigth” She continued to look at you, not making any signs of preparing her things to leave. “How can I repay you all that you’ve done for me?”

You were left confused at her question. “It was nothing, just guitar lessons”

“It wasn’t just guitar lessons” Roseanne rested her guitar on the floor leaning it on the armchair and got closer to you. “It was everything you’ve done since we know each other… The support you gave us when we needed it… The food you sneaked into out dorm… The times you stood up for us when we didn’t do as expected in the evaluation…”

“I was just doing my job”

“Waiting for me in the airport isn’t part of your job” Roseanne extended her hand and rested it on your shoulder, her eyes digging deep in yours, as if she was staring into your soul. “Sending me good morning messages when I’m away isn’t part of your job; you supporting us even when we broke the rules is against your job”

You didn’t know what to say, she was right. The problems you got in because of them almost cost you your job in multiple occasions, but the girls were so connected with you and you were so talented that firing you just wasn’t an option, even punishing you would be risky for YG.

“Let’s have a date”

“What?”

“Not as friends… as something more” Your heart was beating fast, your mouth suddenly went dry, your mind blank, did she really just said that. “…Not here in Seoul, when I travel abroad, I want you with me, where I’m allowed to date” Roseanne licked her lips, and waited for your answer. “Please say yes… I want to show you how grateful I am… I want to treasure you as you’ve treasured me, us”

When you felt her hand trembling you got out of your shock. The Roseanne Park just asked you on a date… “You don’t need to show me how grateful you are to take me on a date” You smiled, all the happiness the moment gave suddenly filling up your heart. “…Of course I’ll say yes to that date, as something more than friends”

Your eyes were captured by hers, your brain was just trying so, so hard to engrave this moment in your mind.

Suddenly, her phone rang, startling both of you. “That must be my manager” You nodded, kind of sad that the moment ended so abruptly, however, when her hand caressed your cheek you happiness came back to you. “I’ll wait for that date”

“Me too”

From then on, you’ve been the happiest human being in the world.

I know she’s is the one,

The one of my dreams,

Then why would she want me?

Only one of the billions she can get?

Part Two

#rose x reader #rosé x reader #blackpink rose #blackpink imagines #rose imagines #kpop imagines #kpop #kpop fluff #fluff #kpop fluff imagines #park chaeyoung #roseanne park #gender neutral #gender neutral reader #gender neutral imagines #chaeyoung blackpink #blackpink

164 notes · View notes

hogwartsfirebolt · 3 years

Photo

Hello everyone! I’m back for my (omg time flies) third yearly drarry rec list, in which I share with you my 30 favorite drarry fics I read in the year, divided in three parts. What a year 2020 was. It was challenging, scary and confusing, and it was also an amazing reading year for me, I read so, so much more than I ever had before, and I’m really excited to share these masterpieces with you! The banner art is by @dragontamerdame who is one of my favorite artists and was kind enough to let me use this beautiful piece, which you can (and totally should) reblog right here. Now, with nothing else to add and in no particular order, here’s my

FAVORITE FICS I READ IN 2020 PART ONE

1. Who we are in the shadows - @quicksilvermaid - 100k - E - What happens when you’re forced to become the very thing you despise? Ex-Auror Harry Potter, tossed out of the Ministry for something he had no control over, has been looking for a way back to his former life. When he comes across Draco Malfoy in the criminal underbelly of Wizarding London and in need of protection, Harry figures bringing him in to face the Ministry's justice is his ticket back to everything he's lost. But nothing is exactly as it seems. Not even Harry himself. And as he gets drawn further and further into Malfoy's world of honour and deception he finds himself questioning everything he thought he knew—about his childhood nemesis, the Ministry job he misses so much, and most of all, about himself. What happens when you’re forced to see that you were wrong?

THIS FIC!!! It was the first one I read in 2020, and it immediately became my favorite fic of the entire year, and one of my favorites of all time. I have since read it two more times, the entire 100k of it. There are absolutely no words to describe how amazing it is, how much it floored me to read their characterizations, their jobs and the roads life took them on to end up where they end up, the connection between them in a time when they don’t even know how to relate to anyone, their sorrow and struggles which, despite being so rooted in the magical world, are painfully human, just... wow. It’s a masterpiece. It changed the way I view their characters, forever, and I suspect I will read it many, many more times in the years to come. It’s that kind of story. If for whatever reason you haven’t read it, this is your sign to take that chance and embark on this amazing journey.

2. Every Kingdom - @thistle-verse - 7k - E - Every kingdom needs a prince. Every prince needs a good and useful knight. Draco and Harry play their parts and renegotiate some borders while they’re at it.

So, so lovely. Even though I don’t read them very often, alternate universes fascinate me so much, and I am in awe of the author for being able to pack so, so much story, so neatly into 7k words. This features a princely, lonesome Draco, a charming, golden Harry, and a blossoming love that could change everything. It’s beautiful, and I recommend it deeply.

3. The Bucket List - GallaPlacidia - 32k - Draco will die in six months if he can't get Harry Potter to fall in love with him. Since that's not going to happen, he might as well spend his last days working through his Bucket List. Tap-dancing lessons? Rock climbing? Poetry-writing? Threesomes? Cocaine? Getting to know his adorable cousin, Teddy Lupin? Draco will try them all! Feat. Cheerily pessimistic Draco, devoted bitch queen Pansy Parkinson, and a Harry who can't help but notice that something seems DIFFERENT about Draco, these days.

I’m positive that many, many of us got acquainted with GallaPlacidia’s writing this year, and I, too, fell in love with it. This story aches in the most beautiful of ways, the humor happens to be somehow light in such a difficult circumstance that it ends up hurting when you laugh, it hurts when everything is right because it’s also wrong, it aches when it’s supposed to be a happy moment and feels tender and sweet when it’s not. I can’t even imagine the challenge of writing this kind of story, and they pulled it off beautifully. It’s a lovely story, one you will take with you long after you finish it, and, personally, I think it’s a great introduction to the author’s writing.

4. halcyon days - @the-starryknight - 1.3k - T - Sleepy mornings caught while the sun rises are reserved for silly word games and soft touches and feelings.

Oh my god, the amount of tenderness in such a low wordcount made me weak in the knees. I almost couldn’t take it. Being able to convey such a deep emotional connection in a short story seems like such a daunting task, and the author makes it seem almost effortless. I guarantee that this will make you bring your hands to your chest and sigh with how lovely it is. Reading it will be the best ten minutes of your day.

5. Clouds That Veil the Midnight Moon - @drarrytrash - 37k - E - According to Harry’s personal narrative regarding the incident, he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy for purely self-destructive reasons, or out of convenience, or by some unlucky accident. Looking at him, sprawled in the moonlight, Harry is devastated to recall that he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy because he’s hot. Draco is a secret werewolf and Harry is doing his best and they've got criminals to catch, darn it.

Reading this, I found myself laughing out loud, nodding profusely with how freaking spot on the characterizations are. The dialogue is amazing, so hilarious and real and Harry’s inner monologue is so, so him. I love everything about this story. I have a soft spot for werewolf fic, and this one hit everything I love about it, the case is interesting and engaging, the incidental characters, the OCs, Ron and Hermione, everyone and everything is absolutely perfect and I had an absolute blast reading it. You HAVE to read this and see for yourself what I’m talking about.

6. Sex Ed for Aurors - curiouslyfic - 8k - M - Some things, you need to learn on the job.

Oh my god this is so freaking good. The premise is, basically, that Harry is accidentally doused with a lust potion while in the vicinity of Draco, and suddenly wants him more than anything. I loved this take on that trope, we’re in Harry’s head, and it’s absolutely hilarious and endearing to experience the near childish glee he feels whenever Draco looks his way, when he smiles, when he feels he’s made him happy, meanwhile Draco and Ron are horrified and doing whatever they can to correct it. This is so funny and such a good time, I can’t recommend it enough! While you’re at it, you should definitely read megyal’s remix of this, which is also a blast.

7. plasticine porters with looking-glass ties - @bonesliketambourines - 15K - E - Lately, Harry thinks things don’t seem the same between him and Draco. His head is in the clouds when he thinks about what their relationship is now, and where it might be headed—he’s happy with their friendship, but he wants something else. A potions accident over a lunchtime visit to Draco’s lab (what does he get up to in there, anyway?) changes things, though, and accelerates their relationship faster than either of them had ever expected. How are they going to get through this new development together?

Atmospheric, beautifully-written and delicious. Their relationship is tender, just on the edge of something more, when they’re forced to quarantine together and face the effects of a potion that makes them see and feel things differently, which makes for the most intense, visual, gorgeous sex scene I think I’ve ever read. It’s just absolutely phenomenal.

8. i wake up falling - warmfoothills - 9k - M - Draco’s always leaving, one way or another. Harry’s usually 240 thousand miles too late.

In trying to come up with a way to summarize this story, I’m feeling the overwhelming urge to cry again, just like I did when I read it. It’s just so, so, beautiful, every single word of it aches in the best way, the longing feels deeply authentic and just, the setting and the jobs and everything is so unique and gorgeous. Every single work by this author is beyond beautiful, but especially this one is incredibly close to my heart and I think everyone should read it. It’s a gem.

9. In Every Universe - @skeptiquewrites - 27k - M - They sent Professor Harry Potter to search for Unspeakable Draco Malfoy. Draco has stolen a Firebird, an experimental magical device from the Department of Mysteries that lets you enter parallel universes as yourself. As Harry traverses from universe to universe, he begins to think Draco might be the one searching for him. A story about whether knowing what's possible makes it possible.

Stories where the characters find themselves somehow hopping from one reality to another are always so, so fascinating to me, and this one is incredibly creative and well-written, so entertaining all around. The mystery of it kept me on my toes, and every single reality was a joy to read. 10/10

10. Life goes not backward - @shealwaysreads - 8k - T - Harry still isn’t used to gifts, but this one is different. A story of coming home, finding safe ground, and the wild courage of putting down roots. Leaving one life behind isn’t always a sacrifice, and sometimes the greatest good comes from embracing the people you love.

My god, there are not enough words to describe how much this story means to me, how beautiful it is, how every single time I’ve read it, I’ve cried. Bella has undoubtedly become one of my absolute favorite writers in fandom. She has such a way with words, there is not one of her stories that hasn’t touched me, that doesn’t feel like an actual, full-length novel no matter the word count. I read so many of them this year, so many of the masterpieces she’s gifted us, but this one especially is so tender, so dear, that I ended up choosing it as my favorite of hers this year. Harry’s charactertization, the unbelievable warmth of their relationship, absolutely everything about this is gorgeous. Go read it, right now, and then binge all her other works!! You won’t regret it.

---------------------------------

Each of these fics is incredibly close to my heart and I enjoyed them immensely. In the midst of everything changing, I really found comfort and solace in the amazing works of the people of this fandom. I hope they give you the same amount of warmth and comfort they gave me, and I’m ALWAYS here to gush about any of them ❤️ Happy New Year!

#drarry #drarry fic #drarry fanfic #drarry fic rec #2020rec #ficrec #draco malfoy #harry potter #drarry rec list

536 notes · View notes

eunoiaflow3r · 3 years

Text

i hate u, i love u // spencer reid x fem!reader

spencer reid x reader

aaron hotchner x reader

part one - part two

a/n: did i damn near put this entire song in this fic? yes, yes i did i’m so sorry....highly unedited.

how was your guys’ holiday?

warning(s): language. angst. fluff....

word count: 2.6k

request(ed): yes.

summary: old things try to get fixed, while new feelings and places...arise and get mixed.

(wtf am i dr. seuss now??)

——————————————&———————————

feeling used, but i’m still missing you. and i can’t see the end of this, just wanna feel your kiss, against my lips

and now all this time, is passing by.... but i can’t seem to tell you why. it hurts me every time i see you realize how much i need you...

Seeing Spencer and actually letting all of that out did a number on you. You apologized to Aaron countless times and he said it was okay countless times but you still felt so bad. He didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve your drama, and not to mention how embarrassing it’s been. You felt like you ruined his whole night. It was supposed to be fun and yet you didn’t have any. He said he did but you know Hotch didn’t.

You’d have to make it up to him somehow soon but you didn’t know how. How are you supposed to fix this? Any of this??

It feels like you’re being sucked into the eye of a tornado little by little and you just can’t get out. It feels like everyone else is safe on the ground feet planted and they’re all just staring at you and laughing. Staring and not helping.

Your chest hurt. You hated feeling like this. So helpless...and stuck. You were stuck and not ready to fix it...well...part of it. You could still fix one thing. You didn’t have to be stuck here. Here in this small apartment with no room for anything let alone breathe. You needed space. You needed change. You needed control. Everything is spinning in circles and there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t stop it.

So why not do something that could help you? That you’ve been meaning to do but never had the time for?

Apartment searching. Well...bigger apartment searching.

Where you were staying now was a studio apartment. You loved the open concept except for how small it was. You just need room.

Before...

“I like it here. It’s so small and cute.”

You could tell cute was a foreign word to Spencer when it came to describing a building. But he was trying. You thought he was cute.

“Thanks Spencer but I’m thinking something different. Maybe another bedroom for a roommate...or just a bigger one for y’know...another person.”

You never really brought up the idea of moving in together before. Sure, it’d be easier...his job was nearby, and there was a bus stop at the end of the street, and there was you....so his reaction kind of put you...off.

“Roommate sounds good. One of your friends maybe? Although I wouldn’t want her to y’know...interrupt us.” He had that cute seductive tone to his voice but he wasn’t sounding very cute and seductive.

You weren’t going to argue. “Yeah...a roommate. Who do you think I should ask?” you paused. “Sara or Malia?”

Spencer was quiet for a moment, like he was thinking. “Malia maybe?”

You didn’t have a friend named Malia.

And that’s what hurt the most you think. The fact that you still thought about him 24/7 even though what you had with him wasn’t perfect. You thought it was before..you thought he was before..but now you’re realizing nothing about it was perfect but at least it was something. Now you have nothing.

It was only the afternoon so you decided to look for some places. You found 3 places suitable for what you were looking for. All 3 were good sizes, good prices, and a good amount away from your job and college. You felt almost lucky. This felt almost too easy.

Until you saw the first two places in person. They were okay, but not really what you were looking for.

The last place though...the place was great, the location was great, the neighborhood was great, hell even the yard. Hell, you’d have no use for it, you didn’t have a kid but it was still a nice looking yard. You could tell that someone in the apartment, hopefully your new neighbor, took great care of the gardens.

You looked around at the surrounding mix of apartments and houses (mostly houses) and saw 2 little kids playing in the house 2 houses over. One of them looked like Jack. It couldn’t be, right? Hotch’s house wasn’t over here.

Nevertheless you watched for a few seconds and it was Jack. You decided to go over and say hi.

Jack stopped playing and immediately ran towards you.

“Y/N!!” He grinned. You got down to his level and hugged him back just as enthusiastically.

“Hey Jackie! Whatcha doin?” He only let you call him that. Only you.

“Sleepover. This is Sam. It’s almost time for Ana to drop me off at home though.”

You said hi to Sam and asked if Ana was his mom. She was and as soon as you told Sam your name, Ana came out of the house and waved you over.

“Hey, I’m Y/N. Friend of Jack’s and Hotch.”

She smiled. And shook your hand.

“I’m Ana. I’ve heard about you! Jack talks about you quite a lot.”

You and Ana talked for a while. She seemed like a really amazing person. If you end up getting the place you could see you and her becoming great friends, and since she seemed really busy you offered to take Jack home. She protested but you insisted. It wasn’t like you were doing much anyway. The landlord had already left and you were just going to go home anyway.

On the way to Hotch’s you bought Jack his favorite ice cream. You couldn’t help it.

The whole car ride Jack’s conversation thankfully distracted you but when you got to his house you couldn’t help but remember that night and how embarrassed you felt.

Seeing Hotch only made it worse. Especially since he wasn’t wearing his work clothes- just a shirt and sweatpants, and you couldn’t help but look because he looked incredibly.....good. He looked so great and you were so mad at yourself for how that night ended with him. You were supposed to be having fun and neither of you did.

He hugged you when you got to the door anyway. You explained to him what happened- even the apartment searching while he invited you in for coffee.

A whole year with Spence and he never invited you in. Ever.

Do you miss me like I miss you? Fucked around and got attached to you Friends can break your heart too And I’m always tired but never of you

If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn’t like that shit I put this reel out, but you wouldn’t bite that shit I type a text but then I never mind that shit I got these feelings but you never mind that shit

“Mom, please, I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong.”

Your mom gave you a look over her mug that said, ‘Do I look like I’m dumb?’ And she wasn’t. Perhaps you weren’t any good at hiding your feelings. Could everyone tell?

You were doing better now.

It’s been a month? Maybe two.

Either way it’s been a while and you weren’t as hurt as you were before. Some nights you woke up heart aching, tears falling, but you aren’t as bad as you were those first few weeks.

Truth is, you missed Spencer. You spent those weeks blaming yourself and wondering why you why you?

But you accepted that you weren’t ready for that answer. A part of you had forgiven Spencer. A part.

You were still heartbroken. You were still angry and hurt. But you’ve been trying to move on. In fact, you’d be moving entirely. Yesterday you finished all the paperwork with your new landlord. You were going to finish packing after visiting your mom.

“Momma I’m fine there’s just a lot going on right now.”

She wouldn’t accept that answer. She persisted you told her what was wrong. So you did. You told her about Spencer...and about Hotch...

Aaron.

You had been spending some weekends with him. Some were alone, just the two of you, and other times it was the three of you. Him, Jack, and you. Whenever you thought about Hotch you had the feeling in your stomach you got whenever you heard from Spencer.

But you still have that feeling for Spencer.

Things were so confusing right now - you weren’t sure if you wanted to move on from Spencer. You didn’t want to rush in with Aaron either though. That’d hurt the both of you.

Last weekend...

“Y/N you cannot tell me you think New Girl is better than Friends.”

Aaron was in a gray shirt and sweatpants while you were in relatively the same. You both sat together on his couch each a cup of coffee in your hands. You had promised you’d help him shop with Jack for new clothes and you had just agreed to stay the night since it had gotten so late.

“Oh a hundred percent. New Girl is way better.”

Hotch laughed.

“Friends is a classic. There wouldn’t be a New Girl without Friends.”

“There wouldn’t be a Friends without Living Single Aaron.”

He rolled his eyes but conceded. “True but still. Friends is better.”

You hadn’t been that happy in a while. You were breathing...you were living. Out in the open. Unbidden.

You ever wonder what we could have been? You said you wouldn’t and you fucking did Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix Now all my drinks and all my feelings are fucking mixed

Always missing people that I shouldn’t be missing Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing But I learned from my dad that it’s good to have feelings

There was a bottle of liquor in your hand

You would have gone to the bar but you were too sad for it. You didn’t have the will.

Earlier today you decided that you should get a muffin from the coffee shop and see how Em was doing. Right when you got to the door, who was in the window caught your eye.

Spencer.

Spencer and JJ.

Laughing, and eating, and kissing...

In the open. Out in public.

Were you just not good enough? Was that it? Could you not understand him because you didn’t work in the BAU? Was what you had all one sided?

Unanswered questions and half a bottle later you were passed out on your couch crying.

You thought you were over it for sure this time. But it still fucking hurts. Is keeping your heart open waiting for him even worth it?

The next morning you took a hot shower. The hottest shower you could handle. You were hungover, and you felt like shit but you still had to pack the rest of your things to move. You still had to move.

Your speakers were on the highest level and your music was so loud you didn’t hear the door knock. You only screamed when you felt someone behind you.

It was Aaron.

“Jesus christ!!” You went to turn down the music.

“You could have killed me!”

“Yes I very well could have!” His arms were crossed. He was upset but still in a playful mood. You could tell. “I could have been a serial killer, you have to lock your doors!”

You rolled your eyes. “Okay, okay, I’ll lock my doors next time.”

He nodded approval as you went to the refrigerator to get him a bottle of water.

“What’s going on?”

“Oh I didn’t tell you?” How had that slipped your mind?

He shook his head.

“I’m moving.”

“You’re moving?” He looked disappointed.

“Yeah not far. A few houses down from Ana actually.”

“Oh good.” He said relieved.”

After that, he decided he wanted to help you. It was nice not being alone even though you told him he didn’t have to stay. He wanted to.

He even helped you transfer the boxes to your new apartment. You didn’t know Aaron had a voice on him...but he did.

“We built this city!” he sang/shouted.

“We built this city on rock and -“

“We built this city!” he answered.

“We built this city on rock and -“

“Rollllllllll” you sang together.

You giggled when the song was over and he grabbed your hand for the rest of the drive. You didn’t pull away. It felt too nice. It felt too right.

After helping you put your boxes into your next place it was time for him to head home. He told you that he could stay and help some more if you wanted but you could tell he was tired. You were tired. You told him you’d call if you needed any more help.

He made you promise you would because he knows you won’t if you feel like you absolutely can do it yourself even when you shouldn’t.

You promised.

On his way out there was a moment where you could have kissed him. Where you were saying goodbye and you were in the doorway and you were close enough to...but you didn’t. You weren’t ready. He knew you weren’t ready. He knew.

The feelings you have for Hotch keep growing but the feelings you have for Spencer stay the same. Spencer used to be your everything. But you weren’t his. You needed someone who would put you first. Well...close to first. Jack should always come first. Always.

You need to come first when it comes to women. Spencer didn’t put you first. Would he ever?

All alone I watch you watch her Like she’s the only girl you’ve ever seen You don’t care you never did You don’t give a damn about me

Yeah, all alone I watch you watch her She is the only thing you ever see How is it you never notice That you are slowly killing me?

Your phones ringtone was blaring and when you opened your tired eyes to read the time on your bedside table it read ‘3 AM.’ Who would call this late? Or...early? Either way you didn’t check the screen and just decided to click green and put the phone to your ear.

“Hello?” Your voice was groggy and you were a little annoyed to be woken up so early. It’s rude to do that to someone. Especially someone who only went to bed three hours ago.

“Y/N.” It wasn’t a question and it wasn’t in command. It was a sigh of relief followed by sniffles and a hiccup. It was Spencer.

“I didn’t think you’d pick up.” he said.

“You’re lucky I didn’t check my screen I should just -“

The only form of communication you’ve had with him since the incident was a few texts. Dry texts. On both ends.

“No!” he panicked. “Please don’t hang up please, please, I - I couldn’t sleep.”

You shut your eyes in frustration. “You called me at three in the morning because you couldn’t sleep?”

“No, I - I’m apologizing because I couldn’t sleep, no I - I’m apologizing because I was - I don’t know -“

“Spencer I really don’t have time for this. I have things to do tomorrow. What’s today Tuesday? We’ll have coffee or something Friday, okay?”

There was silence on the other end for a few seconds. “I have a date, no I mean plans Friday..uhm, Sunday?”

“Sunday.”

And you hung up the phone. You didn’t mean to sound bitter, you didn’t but seriously? You were actually willing to see him for once - maybe a decision your unconscious, pining, mind made - but still, and he can’t because of a date? A date?

With JJ no doubt. Of course it was JJ. It’s always been JJ. Every single time. “I can’t today Y/N JJ needs,” or “JJ called I gotta go,” or “Shoot I’m sorry I know we had plans but JJ -“

Will it always be JJ? Will she always be number one? Has she always been number one and you just never realized it? Have you been the girl he just hung out with because he couldn’t with her?

A few months ago...

“I bought chinese.” You grinned.

“Smells so good.” Spencer took the bags from your hands and kissed you on the cheek.

Spencer picked the movie this time since you picked it last time. He was sitting in the middle of the couch while you had your legs draped across his. Occasionally he’d bring his hand down to rub your legs.

Things were fine. Things were content. Until his phone rang.

“Y/N, It’s JJ I have to go.”

“What does she need?” you ask genuinely worried.

“Nothing I don’t think. I just gotta go.”

I hate you, I love you I hate that I love you You want her, you need her And I’ll never be her

———————————-—&—————————————-

i literally have no idea what this is i -

team hotch or spence?

if you have any ideas or scene ideas PLEASE tell me

i’m really trying on this happy ending thing

a spencer apology/talk scene is cominggg

i’m liking the idea of two endings? maybe?

spencer tag list: @hotchsbabygirl @pinkdiamond1016 @thefemalestorywriter @sizzlingclamturtlesludge @samyilf123 @mathchampagne @studywithrosie01 @reniescarlett @drreidsconverse @eveliiinnn27 @bweakmybonez

comments tag list: @yeah-just-ignore-me-thanks @geekgirleve @jhiddles03 @carlgrxmes @dreatine @meowiemari @thedaughterofhotchniss @we-are-dreamers42 @unabashedlyswimmingtimemachine @silverchains9182 @realalpacorn @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat @matthew-gray-g @minami97 @mgg-th1996 @peculiarinsomniac @secondratecomplaint @fallinallinmendes @fantastic-fans @eldahae @psych0crybaby @tclaerh @ashwarren32 @spenciegoob @mustbeaweasleyginger @abschaffer2

408 notes · View notes

hamliet · 3 years

Text

Never Have I Ever... Expected to Appreciate a Love Triangle

Never Have I Ever’s season two continues to establish itself as the one love triangle I actually think works. Usually I want to light that trope on fire, but it’s so great here because of the unique (and messy) characters in it.

The season offered clarity on what endgame is (Ben) while also establishing Paxton as the character with the most growth from the beginning of the season to the end. Paxton’s journey with his Ojichan, embracing his heritage, learning that he can actually make things happen when he commits to things (studying, Devi) was really emotionally compelling and satisfying. Even if Ben/Devi is endgame, Paxton doesn’t feel like he’s tacked on, but instead a very integral part of the dynamic between the three characters. (More Ben and Paxton moments, please? I want them to be friends; they really need to grow to be like each other!)

I don’t think Ben/Devi could ever be together if Paxton weren’t a part of the picture. The ending where Dvi and Paxton end up together is earned, and we’re rooting for them, cheering for them as they get their happy ending, even as we know Bendevi are endgame. It’s satisfying to see Ben shocked and heartbroken, because he realizes he has been doing exactly what he accused Paxton of doing. Paxton grew and overcame his pride to be with Devi, which is what she deserves: someone who isn’t ashamed of her. Ben now has his marching orders: if he wants to be with Devi, he has to follow Paxton’s lead.

Ben also needs to stop dating girls he does not actually like. Aneesa deserves more. Speaking of Aneesa... I loved her character and what she added to the story, but her plotline was the one piece of truly bad writing in NHIE’s repertoire. It was utterly nonsensical.

No principal gives a damn about who starts rumors unless they are SUPER serious. They aren’t going to suspend someone over it.

An ED rumor is unlikely to merit a school-wide investigation or to have peers universally react to it with such disgust.

Devi made an observation from seeing Aneesa not eating; anyone could/would have come to the same conclusion at some point. It was wrong to say it, absolutely, but it just... wasn’t a huge moral failing.

Please explain to me why "crazy Devi" didn't mitigate consequences but this did. Like, people had been bullying Devi, a girl whose Dad has just died, ALL SEASON, Aneesa participated in it, and even after Aneesa’s subplot was “resolved,” Devi was still being bullied by this so... why did no one give a damn about this?

NHIE is the only show I can think of where the story holds its main character to a harsher standard than everyone else, lol. Not that Devi was in the right--she was VERY much in the wrong--but it was framed as being Devi’s lowest moral moment, and it objectively was not, and simply did not make sense with the school’s policies on bullying as had already been established.

I think the same subplot would have worked much better if Devi had said something like “Aneesa is a slut/has an STD/got pregnant” considering the entire reason for her freak out is that she thinks Aneesa is having sex with Ben, which they weren’t. But those are the kind of rumors that can actually ruin someone’s life. An ED rumor did not merit that kind of reaction.

I also wish that if they were going to ED route, they’d have actually explored it instead of just patching it onto Aneesa’s character. It felt really, really forced and random, didn’t tie in to any themes, and thus does not work. Don’t include triggering content if you don’t plan on exploring it. At least the above rumors actually tied in with the plot and character issues.

I enjoy that Devi is allowed to spiral and to make horrific mistakes, though. I’ve seen a lot of reviews complaining about her acting like a jerk, but that’s the point. Grief is at the heart of Devi’s character, and grief is seldom two perfect pearlesque teardrops elegantly dripping onto marble floors. Grief is ugly. Grief is terrifying, grief is disorienting, grief seeks comfort and it seeks destruction. It’s unpredictable.

I really enjoyed what the writers did with Nalini this season, and with Devi’s grandmother. Pati was wonderful, and Nalini made some great strides herself. I enjoyed seeing her dynamic with Mohan fleshed out more (they weren’t perfect), and Nalini and Dr. Jackson were great. They were adult!Ben and Devi in their dynamic, and like Ben and Devi, the timing just isn’t right for them to be together. Learning to grow and realize she was wrong about Dr. Jackson helps Nalini realize she can be wrong, and that doesn’t make her a terrible person for it; thus Nalini can forgive herself and be a better mother for it.

I also loved Eleanor’s stepmother, and Fabiola’s mom. Actually, one of the things I like about this show is how the parents are all really human, with failings as parents and strengths, and they keep improving themselves too.

I feel sad for Kamala and Prashant, and get that she needs someone who encourages her to not be passive, but also felt Prashanth deserved a little more than being straight up stood up the night he planned to propose. That said, I appreciated how their relationship evolved--Prashant is a good man, but it does not work for a very human reason. Prashant was not a jerk like Steve last season, but it just meant that their worldviews and what they need from a relationship were not compatible. (Also Kamala’s workplace environment was entirely accurate to what those environments are like. 100%. It wasn’t hyperbolized at all.) Kamala learning to be more like Devi and Devi more like Kamala was fun to see.

Fabiola and Eleanor’s plotlines were good, too. I love Fab and Eve, and am intrigued by the notion of Eleanor and Trent. If the latter is to be a thing, I hope Trent gets more development/focus (and I actually hope Eve does as well, in terms of conflict/character flaws; she’s great, and I’d love her to be fleshed out more).

My favorite part of the season, though, was when Mohan appears to speak to Devi in her dream, and what he says to her. Just because you’ve made mistakes doesn’t mean you deserve any less and I call you perfect girl not because I expect you to be perfect, but because you’re already perfect to me, just because she’s Devi. Instead of her name being synonymous with “mistake” as was the running joke throughout the season, she has power through the love her father gives her (even if he’s no longer alive, because love transcends time) to affirm to worth, to continue to develop who she is, to change her legacy.

I am very excited for a season 3.

#hamliet reviews #nhie #never have i ever #nhie season 2 #devi vishwakumar #paxton hall yoshida #bendevi #daxton #ben gross #ben x devi #devi x paxton #benvi #ed tw #trigger warning #trigger warning ed

100 notes · View notes