#enforced self reflection time

[lost-tardis-room]

in a way thirteen getting stuck in that space rhino prison for tenth months immediately after timeless children is almost a good thing because they reeeeeeeeally needed some time to stop and process that

#i mean obviously it's miserable and lonely and sucks but she probably wouldntve been in the best headspace if there was a whole bunch more #life-or-death fate-of-whole-planets after that yknow #enforced self reflection time #also the way they start reciting h*rry p*tter to themself as a bedtime story is such an iconically thirteen moment yknow? #like only thirteen would pick a middle grade fantasy novel

[joelsgreys]

Just Friends (Javier Peña x Female Reader)

Part 2

Summary: You’re planning to have sex for the first time and you’re nervous—Javi offers to show you a thing or two, but just as friends of course.

Pairing: Javier Peña x Female Reader

Warnings/Tags 🏷 18+ only, minors dni. reader is in late 20’s; reader is an agent for the DEA; established friendship, idiots in love lust, overprotective/slightly jealous Javi; Javi is his canon manwhore self, reader is a virgin, talks of virginity loss and her desire for no strings attached sex, a bit of pining and yearning, lots of pet names, a couple insults, friendship fluff; touching, groping, dry humping, reader gets off, Javi does not. I know, I know. I will make it up to him in part dos. this does not follow the timeline of the show accurately, Messina is in the picture, Connie is still around. reader is bilingual, no descriptions of her race or ethnicity mentioned though. *translations at the end.

Word Count: 7.9k

A/N: This took me forever to edit and post because I’m scared lmao.

thank you to @cutesyscreenname for encouraging me to write this idea. I owe you cherry gansitos!

You observed your own reflection in the full length mirror in front of you and let out a curious little hum as you lifted the short, scarlet red minidress, holding it right up against the length of your body. You then held up the second dress that you had clutched in your opposite hand, a stunning, satin black midi number whose length was a lot longer than the first option, the hem of it falling down to your calves.

It appeared rather innocent, modest enough while it was still on the plastic hanger, but it fit you beautifully, just like a fucking glove. The bodice of the garment cinched at your waist and it was tightly fitted, hugging the curves of your upper body so closely that it looked and even felt like something of a second skin whenever you wore it. The billowy skirt of the dress flowed out around you, darling and sweet at first glance, however it came with a borderline dangerous slit in the side of it that stopped about two or three inches above the middle of your thigh near the hinge of your hip. It exposed the entire length of your leg whenever you walked, danced, or moved around in it—Murphy had once referred to it as the infamous femme fatale dress, telling you that it was a far, far more dangerous weapon than your gun could ever be. 

You were fairly certain his remarks had something to do with the fact that you’d worn the dress on a number of different occasions while you were out on the job, going undercover in Bogotá for the US Drug Enforcement Administration. 

As the only female agent on her team in Colombia and a younger, very beautiful female agent at that, Messina found herself using you to her advantage quite often these days. She would send you out all over Bogotá in that very same black dress with the hope that it would aid you in luring in members of the Medellín drug cartel in efforts to capture their leader, Pablo Escobar.

Tonight, however, you weren’t going undercover.

You were doing something much more frightening than mingling among some of Colombia’s most dangerous men. 

Far, far more daunting than that.

You were going out on a date. 

“I like the red dress the best,” Javier’s deep voice came from behind you, startling you slightly. He had mentioned to you earlier that day that he was going to some lounge with Murphy for a smoke and some drinks after work hours since it had been a long, draining week for him at the office; Messina had stuck him with an endless amount of tedious paperwork to do and it had just about driven him insane, but nothing a pack of cigarettes and some bourbon couldn’t fix. With the soft, Latin cumbias playing from the old stereo perched on top of the white oak dresser beside you, you had completely missed the sound of the front door opening and closing when he’d gotten home.

You glanced over your shoulder to see him standing there in the open doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. Javier’s dark brown eyes were fixed intently on you, a small, devilish smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth as he casually leaned up against the door frame of your bedroom. Well, technically, it was actually the guest bedroom of his apartment unit that he’d let you take over several months ago. The housing department of the agency had placed you into a unit in the building across the street from his, right next door to Murphy and his wife, Connie. It had been a special arrangement requested by your diligent supervisor in an effort to make sure that no one found themselves in a compromising situation—she trusted you enough not to get any dumb ideas, but she didn’t trust Peña as far as she could throw him. It wasn’t very far.

While it had certainly been quite nice, and even kind of comforting at times to have Steve and Connie as your neighbors, you’d expressed to Javier one night over dinner at his place that you weren’t all too fond of having to live alone. Without an ounce of hesitation on his part, Javi offered to have you move into his spare bedroom that very same evening after you were both done eating, but only on the condition that Messina didn’t find out about the new living arrangement. She would wring Javier’s neck with her bare hands if knew that you two had been sharing his apartment this entire time. 

Hell, she would wring yours too. And you were the favorite child of sorts. Less annoying than Murphy and certainly a lot less problematic than Peña. 

She only liked you because she never had to worry about you. On or off the job.

But even though you were Messina’s number one, her star player, that would do absolutely nothing to spare you from her wrath if she ever came to find out that you were living with Javier Peña. She wasn’t a fan of just how close the two of you had become over the last several months; she’d told you herself that she much preferred it if you kept your distance from him while you were off duty. One wrong move on your part or Javi’s and it was game fucking over. Messina wouldn’t hesitate to send one of your asses packing, back home to be assigned somewhere else, somewhere far away from the other.

Pursing your lips together lightly, you turned your attention back over to the mirror. Raising an eyebrow, you lifted the red minidress up against your body once more to get another good look at it, as if you hadn’t just been staring at it for the last five minutes before he’d appeared. “I don’t know, Javi. I don’t like this one all that much to be honest. I’m not even sure why the hell I let Connie talk me into buying it in the first place. She said it was cute,” You remarked, tilting your head slightly to the side. You wrinkled your nose at the diamond cut out design in the sides of it. Whoever designed it must have not had enough money to spring for more a teensy bit more fabric. “But it’s kind of tacky. And it makes me look like a whore.”

“Mm yes, but a very beautiful whore,” Javi stated, his smirk widening as he drank in the gorgeous sight of you before him. He licked his lips, openly admiring the way you were clad in nothing but one of his shirts, his pink button up with short sleeves that you had once told him you loved so much because it was your favorite color; you’d sneakily stolen it out of his closet on laundry day a couple weeks back while all of your clothes had been in the washing machine and had never given it back to him. Not that Javier even really wanted it back at this point—his shirt looked a million times better on you than ever it did on him. Seeing you in it did inexplicable things to him and he fucking loved it when you padded around your now shared apartment in nothing but a pair of panties and his pink shirt. He took another glimpse at you, nearly foaming at the mouth at how it fit your frame, how the hem of it fell to the tops of your smooth thighs, the material hardly doing anything to cover up the tantalizing curves of your hips and your perfect ass. “Hermosura. The most beautiful whore in all of Colombia.”

You narrowed your eyes at him through the mirror, wishing you had a free hand you could flip him off with. “Gee, thanks for the compliment, Peña. You are always such a fucking charmer, aren’t you?”

“Oh, come on. Solo es una bromita, muñeca. No tienes por qué ofenderte. I’m just messing around with you. You know I don’t think you actually look like a whore—and trust me, I know what a whore looks like,” he responded with a deep and hearty laugh. He uncrossed his arms, allowing them to fall down to his sides as he pushed himself away from the door frame. He sauntered his way further into your bedroom, uninvited. “I’m being serious about the dress, though. Go with the red one. El vestido rojo. It’s perfect. Besides, that color would look gorgeous on you, cariño. I bet it would look almost as good on you as pink does.” He laughed again as he added, “Nice shirt, by the way.”

Your annoyed expression immediately softened into one of guilt. “I’ve been meaning to give you your shirt back,” You told him, sheepishly. “Te lo juro, Javi.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you have,” Javier snorted, waving off the little white lie. He finally forced himself to tear his attention away from you and glanced around, observing the current state of your room instead. It looked like a tornado had hit the inside of your closet; dresses, jackets, and high heeled shoes were strewn all over the place. He wasn’t all too surprised by the mess. He knew you like he knew the back of his own hand by now, and this was typical of you when you were searching for the perfect outfit to wear on a free night out in the city. “I don’t remember you telling me you had any plans tonight, bonita. What’s the occasion? Going out for drinks with the chismosas of the office? Or are you going out for a girl’s night with Connie?”

You momentarily hesitated.

“Actually, I have a date.”

Through the mirror, you saw the smile fade from Javier’s face almost instantly.

Here we go, You thought inwardly to yourself.

“You have a date? With who?” he demanded. 

Reluctantly, you turned around to face him. “You know Valeria, don’t you?”

The color drained from his face.

“That’s the translator who works up on the third floor, right?” He touched his hand to the back of his neck, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t know her, but I’ve seen her around a couple of times.”

You almost laughed at the manner in which Javier tried playing dumb. 

Of course he knew Valeria. 

He had fucked her three weeks ago.

Javi had tried to keep it on the down low, but loud mouthed Valeria would brag to anyone who would listen all about how Agent Peña had fucked her in her office one evening while they’d been working late together and everyone else had gone home. Not that Javier even needed her services as a translator, he’d just needed an excuse to find himself in her office after hours so he could get his dick wet.

For some strange reason, you felt oddly fucking generous and decided to let Javier have this one, playing along with him and his sheer stupidity. “Yeah, her. She has an older brother who’s visiting the city for a few days. His name is Diego. He’s an immigration attorney who is here on business in Bogotá. She offered to set me up with him,” You explained, keeping everything as brief as possible. “I’m meeting him for drinks tonight.”

Javier frowned. “Have you met him in person?”

“Well no, but Valeria showed me his picture and she told me all about him. It’s not like he’s just some random ass guy I met on the street, Javi. He’s her brother, she advocated for him,” You tried to reason with him, knowing all too well where this conversation was heading. Sure, it was nice to know that Javier cared about you enough to be concerned about you meeting up with someone who was essentially a complete stranger, but it wasn’t like you couldn’t handle yourself. You’d spent many evenings sitting right in the laps of the violent criminals who worked for Escobar—a blind date with a coworker’s brother was nothing for him to make a fuss over. “I really don’t think that I have anything to worry about with him.”

He rigidly shook his head. “Look, no offense to Valeria, but I don’t like the idea of you running around this city at night with some fucking prick that you’ve never even met before. And before you throw all that undercover bullshit at me, just know that it’s not the same thing. You aren’t going out on the job tonight. You’re not going out with your team on standby to watch your back, you’re not going out with me and Murphy armed and ready to jump into action if things head south. What if something happens to you?”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes at the complete and utter ridiculousness of his drama king antics. “Oh, give me a fucking break, Peña. Diego’s not a member of the fucking cartel, he’s a lawyer. And besides that, you’re acting like I can’t take care of myself.”

“Listen, I know damn good and well that you can take care of yourself just fine, muñeca. But still, that doesn’t make me feel any better about this whole arrangement.” Javier’s hands went to his waist and he let out a heavy sigh, shaking his head once again. “I’m going to need to meet this guy before you go out with him. I don’t care whose fucking brother he is—whichever way you try to spin it, the bottom line is that he’s a still a fucking stranger and I want to check him out for myself before I let you go out with him.” He saw the mischievous twinkle in your eyes and peered at you suspiciously. “Please tell me he’s coming to pick you up here at the apartment.”

You laughed. “Of course not, Javi. I’m not stupid. I already knew you would behave like this. I knew you would go straight into overprotective mode, just like you always do. I didn’t want you scaring him off, so I’m taking a taxi cab and we’re meeting up at the bar instead.” You easily clocked the all too familiar glint in his eye and smiled sweetly at him. “And don’t even think about trying to guess which one it is so that you can show up and keep tabs on me the whole night. There are thousands of bars in this damn city and I can promise you that you’re not smart enough to figure out which one we’re going to, Agent Peña.”

Annoyed by the smugness in your tone and the way it was starting to get under his skin, Javier’s lips pressed into a thin, tight line. He watched you walk over to your closet, subtly swaying your hips to the music as you pulled out yet another dress to add to your rapidly growing list of options.

He could feel the envy prickling at each and every last single nerve ending in his entire body, his frustrations stewing at the mere thought of you going out with another man. His jaw clenched and he forced himself to shove the feeling down knowing damn well that he didn’t have the right to be jealous. Not when you two weren’t anything more than just friends.

If you’d just been a coworker, it would be different. 

Javier would gladly, happily, risk mixing business with pleasure as he had so often done in the past with several secretaries—and a translator or two—in his time. But no matter how hard he’d tried over and over again to place you into that box, into that category, he simply couldn’t bring himself to do it.

You weren’t just his coworker, you were his friend.

His best friend.

For as much shit as he gave you, you mattered to him. You were important to him, way too important to ever risk fucking up your friendship by fucking you. 

Still. Javier would be lying if he said he didn’t think about it. He thought about it all the damn time. When he discovered that fucking himself into the palm of his hand and moaning your name quietly over and over again under his breath didn’t quite do the job for him anymore, he would find himself standing outside of your bedroom prepared to say fuck it all and make his move on you. But then it happened every single fucking time without fail—as soon as he lifted his curled fist to knock on your door, he started to remember things. 

He’d remember the way you could so easily make him laugh with your clever and quick witted sense of humor. He remembered all those late nights you two would spend together lounging on his brown leather couch in your pajamas watching old, poorly made slasher films while indulging in the greasiest, unhealthiest takeout Bogotá had to offer. He remembered how you could read him just like a fucking magazine, how you always knew when something was wrong—and how you would always somehow know exactly what to say and do to comfort him whenever he needed it the most.

He would remember how you’d come to feel like his home away from home. 

And then he would drop his hand right back down to his side, whirl around on his heel, and march straight back into his bedroom where he had little choice but to go back to fantasizing about what could never be between you and him.

Snapping himself out of his own train of thought, Javier carefully stepped over the mountains of clothing and shoes on the floor and made his way over to another pile of dresses that were draped over the foot of your bed. He caught a glimpse of the lingerie set on top of them, brand new with the price tag still attached to the fabric; the set was black, made of delicate, see through lace that would leave very little to the imagination when you put it on. He picked up the thong, hooking the thin elastic of it around his index finger. “Something tells me that you’re not planning on coming back home tonight.”

“What are you talking about?” Confused, you turned around and gasped, dropping the dresses in your hands. “Javier!”

“Are these even going to cover anything up?” he teased you with a laugh, his eyes gleaming with pure amusement as they darted between the thong and the lower half of your body. “Falta mucha tela, cariño.”

You rushed up to him and made a dive for the underwear. “Give me those!”

“How come you don’t ever wear anything like this around the apartment, hermosa?” Javi dangled them above your head and out of your reach. “All I ever get to see you in are those cotton panties, the ones with polka dots on them.” He glanced down, getting an eyeful of you and the aforementioned polka dot panties. “Kind of like the ones you’re wearing now—”

“Javier, cut it out!” You placed a hand on his shoulder as the other continued grabbing for the lingerie. “Come on, stop being such a fucking asshole!”

Although he could have easily enjoyed taunting you for hours and hours on end, Javier knew you wouldn’t hesitate to have your knee meet his balls. Not wanting to risk ending up on your floor curled up in pain, he eased up and handed them over to you. 

“Idiota!” You hissed at him, furiously snatching the underwear out of his hand. You stomped over to your dresser and shoved them into the middle drawer, slamming it closed so hard the old stereo nearly went crashing to the floor. “You can be a real fucking douchebag, Peña.”

Javier wasn’t bothered by the insults; he’d grown used to those—however any trace of playfulness vanished as the reality began to set in for him. The reality of you sleeping with another a man tonight. “Wait a minute, are you really planning to fuck the guy?” He didn’t even make the attempt to mask the disappointment that laced his tone. “I mean, you haven’t even met him yet. I didn’t think you were that kind of girl, querida.”

“You sound awful judgmental for someone who brings home a different escort every other fucking week,” You snapped at him, placing your hands on your hips. “Oh, and speaking of escorts, I had the pleasure of meeting Alessandra in the bathroom this morning. She asked if I had a tank top that she could borrow since apparently you got too eager and ripped her shirt off last night.” You tilted your head, squinting at him as he started shuffling uncomfortably from one foot to the other. “If you happen to go back to her for a second round, tell her that I want it back. Washed.”

Javier grimaced, looking down at the floor. “Shit. I thought she would be gone by the time you woke up,” he mumbled, shaking his head. “Lo siento, bonita. I’m sorry.”

You blinked. “Sorry for what?”

He opened his mouth, then clamped it shut.

Javier wasn’t all too sure, actually.

He didn’t have anything to apologize for, not really.

He was a single man who could do as, and who, he pleased.

Yet he still felt like a pile of dog shit knowing you’d encountered Alessandra while he had still been asleep.

You would never admit it, but Javier knew that to some extent, it hurt you to run into the women he would bring home. As if having to hear him railing them on the other side of your bedroom wall for hours wasn’t bad enough, having to meet them the following morning and seeing them half naked with their smeared makeup and disheveled hair from the previous night’s activities only made it so much fucking worse. 

Having read his mind, you sighed and offered him some reassurance. “It’s fine, Javi. We both know that you don’t have anything to be sorry for,” You said, prompting him to look back up at you. You pointed a finger at him. “I do want my shirt back, though. And then maybe I’ll be nice and give you back yours.” 

You expected Javi to scamper off to his room with his tail between his legs in shame. It was what he usually did—he’d avoid you for about a few hours until the dust settled, and then everything would go back to normal. Instead of running off, he stood there and spoke again. 

“Are you really going to have sex with this guy?”

You tried to ignore how disheartened he sounded.

“I don’t know,” You confessed, quietly. “I want to have sex with him, but I don’t know if I’ll actually have the fucking balls to go through with it.”

“Por qué? Estas nerviosa?”

Though Javier hadn’t been poking fun at you, you couldn’t help but feel irritated with him for asking you if you were nervous; because you actually were nervous, and him asking you only made you even more fucking nervous. “And so what if I am a little nervous?” You challenged him, lightly. “Sorry that we’re not all just confidently fucking our way through this city like you are, Peña.”

“When’s the last time you had sex, anyway?”

“None of your fucking business, that’s when,” You quipped.

“That’s not fair.” Javi pouted at you. “You know when the last time I had sex was.”

“Not by choice,” You retorted. “You’re right on the other side of my paper thin wall and I left my Walkman in the office.”

Javi waited expectantly for an answer. He wasn’t going to drop the subject, and you knew that.

“You’re such a stubborn son of a bitch, you know that?” You muttered. Feeling a burning heat flood to your face, you decided to give him just about the most generic answer there was in order to get him off your back. “It was a long, long time ago.”

“Okay, but how long ago?” He pressed, curiously. “Are we talking weeks? Months?”

Your stomach began to churn violently, the hidden secret you’d kept to yourself for your entire adult life now at risk of being exposed. 

“I-I really don’t remember,” You stammered out in response, averting your gaze away from his. “Can we not talk about my sex life, please? Besides, it’s getting late and I still need to take a shower and get ready for my date tonight. So if you would just kindly fuck all the way off, that would be great.”

Javier took a step back and there was a very brief moment where you had been certain you’d just narrowly avoided what could have been a painful, humiliating conversation. However, just as he was about to turn to leave, Javi’s eyes widened as it slowly clicked into place for him. 

“Wait a minute—are you fucking serious?”

You groaned. “Javier, please don’t. For the sake of what’s left of my sanity, please don’t,” You nearly pleaded him, wishing that a large, Twilight Zone style swirling vortex would open up in the middle of your floor and swallow you whole. 

“You’ve never had sex before,” he realized. “Have you?”

Your face felt like it had caught on fire.

Not knowing what to say or even do, you clasped your hands together and wrung them anxiously in front of you. 

Of all the people to find out your secret, it just had to be Peña.

“Cariño, are you really a virgin?”

Surprised, you looked up at him. 

Javi wasn’t teasing you or being a dick about it.

He seemed genuinely perplexed by the fact that you’d never had sex before. Not that it made it any less mortifying.

“Yes,” You admitted, exhaling the breath that you hadn’t even realized you’d been holding in. “I’m a virgin, alright? There, are you satisfied?”

“But how? Going undercover? And informants—”

Despite the circumstances, you couldn’t help but laugh. “I know this might come as a shock to you, but you don’t always have to fuck your informants to get what you need out of them, Peña. It’s not a requirement. I use my brains, not my body.” 

“You’re shaming me for using my body?” he joked lightly, hoping it would further ease the awkward nature of the conversation—for your sake, not his.

“Just a little bit.” You offered him a small, crooked smile and felt your tense shoulders finally begin to relax. “You’re probably going to think it’s stupid or maybe even crazy, but the truth is that I’ve always wanted to wait and give it to the right man. Maybe even to a man that I’m in love with. But with the way my romantic life has been going, it just seems like that’s never going to happen for me.” You shrugged. “I just want to lose it already, Javi. I’m almost in my fucking thirties—either I lose it now, or I may as well throw in the damn towel and join a convent.”

“You would look kind of cute in a nun’s habit,” Javi mused, thoughtfully.

You shot him a glare, but felt the corners of your mouth threatening to turn up into another smile. 

After a long minute, Javier broke the silence that had fallen over the both of you. “So then, Valeria’s older brother is the man you’re going to lose your virginity to? Tonight?”

“That’s the plan. He’s only here until the end of the week. It’d be no strings attached, so it works out perfectly.” You anxiously chewed on the inside of your cheek. “But only if I can find the courage to actually go through with it.”

“What are you afraid of?”

“Not knowing what to do.”

Javier quirked an eyebrow.  “It’s not exactly rocket science, querida.”

You resisted the sudden urge to go up to him and backhand the stupid smirk right off of his face.

“Could you please just take me seriously for one second, Peña?” You huffed out in frustration. “I’m just really fucking nervous about it, alright? What if I can’t—what if I’m not good at it?”

Javi’s bottom lip rolled between his teeth and he stifled his laughter. “Preciosa, you’re being kind of…” He trailed off, trying to choose his next word carefully.

You lifted your chin. “Kind of what?”

“Ridiculous. And before you come over here and start pummeling me to death with those little fists of yours...” He stopped and held up his hands in defense. He took a second or two to let eyes glaze over you from head to toe. “I’m only saying that because you’re fucking gorgeous, muñequita. Any man would be lucky to have a night with you. You have nothing to be afraid of.”

“It’s not about how I look, Javier. It’s about how I perform.” You felt your face grow hot for what had to be the umpteenth time in the last ten minutes. Never did you think this would be a conversation you’d be having with him of all fucking people. “I listen to the way those women you bring home—I hear what they do to you. And I hear how much you like it.”

His lips parted slightly. “And you want to do that to him?”

“I want to make him feel good.”

Javier’s jealously simmered in his veins. But what could he do?

Nothing, that’s what. Just like him, you could do as, and who, you pleased. But if he could just get his hands on you first, at least to some extent, it would help ease the blow. He saw nothing wrong with blurring the lines, so long as he didn’t cross them.

Javi hummed. “If you really want to know how to make a man feel good, I can help you.”

“You can help me?” You repeated. “How?”

“By showing you a thing or two.”

You let out something mixed between a scoff and a laugh.

“I am not having sex with you, Peña.”

He tossed you an innocent look. “That’s not what I was suggesting at all.” He crossed the bedroom and walked over to you, reaching for your hands. He took them in his own and then started pulling you towards your bed. “If you’re really that worried about not knowing what to do, I can give you a few pointers. And calmada, querida. Our clothes stay on,” he reassured you before you could open your mouth to protest. “Just think of it as a friend helping out a friend. There’s nothing wrong with that, right?”

You chewed on your lower lip. “I don’t know about this, Javi.”

Javier’s thumbs softly smoothed across the back of your hands. “You trust me, don’t you?”

“Right now, I’m not so sure that I do.” You paused long enough for him to throw you an exasperated, almost offended look. You rolled your eyes at him and nodded your head. “Yes, of course I trust you, Peña. I trust you with my fucking life. Literally, I put my life in your hands at least once or twice a week.”

“Then let me help you, hermosa.”

You inhaled a deep breath, held it for a moment, then exhaled it softly. “Fine. But remember, our clothes stay on—” You were cut off, all the air leaving your lungs as Javi yanked you forward, slamming you against his chest. You looked up at him, ready to give him a piece of your mind for knocking the wind out of you, but as his eyes met yours, words failed you and all you could do was stare at him like a deer caught in the headlights. 

This could not possibly end well.

And yet here you were, going along with it.

He snaked an arm around your waist, holding your body flush against his. Feeling how tense you had become, stiff as a fucking board, Javi gave you a light shake in an effort to get you to loosen up a bit. “First thing is first, you need to relax. There’s no need to overthink this, cariño. Especially not with me.” He reached up with his opposite hand, letting his index finger feather along your jawline. He then slipped it underneath your chin, lifting it ever so slightly and forcing you to look right into his rich pools of espresso. “I mean it. It really wouldn’t take much for a beautiful girl like you to drive me—I mean, drive him wild.”

You tried your hardest to keep your voice from trembling, but between his touch and being in such close proximity, you were finding it a hell of a lot more difficult than you’d imagined. “Show me, Peña. What drives you—I mean, what’s going to drive him wild?”

“Well, it always starts with the right kiss.”

You quickly shook your head. “Javi—”

“Kiss me.”

Had he lost his fucking mind?

“Have you lost your fucking mind?” You echoed your thoughts

“Just a friend helping out a friend,” Javi reminded you in a murmur. “Remember?”

You should have said no. You should have decked him for even suggesting such a thing.

Instead, you gave him a small nod. You rested your hands delicately on his hard, lean chest and tilted your head upwards, lightly pressing your lips to his for a split second before quickly pulling away.

“There.”

“That was fucking pathetic,” Javier laughed softly, his warm breath fanning over the tip of your nose. “You’re not kissing your abuela, you know.”

You smacked his chest. “Javi! Leave my grandma out of this.”

“You have to kiss a man like you actually want him, querida. Here, allow me to demonstrate.”

Your throat went dry as his grip around your waist tightened. He moved his other hand away from your chin and it went to the back of your neck, gingerly tilting your head up towards his. Your heart hammered almost painfully against your ribcage, beating way too hard and way too fast for him not to feel it against his own chest. You had to silently remind yourself to breathe as Javi inched his face closer to yours, slowly. You knew that he was doing it on purpose, moving an agonizingly glacial pace to allow your anticipation to build; all the while his dark eyes were staring deeply into the depths of your very fucking soul, causing a fire to set ablaze deep in your lower belly.

Your thighs clenched together involuntarily as the tip of his nose skimmed a spot near the corner of your mouth, his lips brushing the underside of your jawline.

God, he was fucking good. 

“Javi…” You uttered his name weakly.

You needed to stop this. Javier was your friend—friends didn’t do shit like this.

Javi sensed your reluctance. “It’s alright, mi vida,” he whispered, uttering an affectionate pet name that he’d never used before. He gave you a small grin as he moved in to finally close the small gap of space between your faces. His lips met yours and every ridiculous cliché of sparks flying and fireworks exploding occurred the moment they did. His tongue swept across your bottom lip, gently coaxing its way into your mouth to begin a slow, sensual dance with yours. Cupping the back of your neck, he tilted your head up a bit further, granting himself better access to your mouth so that he could fully explore it inch by inch. 

There was kissing other men.

And then there was kissing Javier. 

Whimpering, your body melted against his as he swelled your lips with a kiss that was slow and sensual, yet somehow still hungry and possessive at the same time. Javier’s hands travelled down to your hips, his fingers skimming the hem of his shirt that you wore. He took the opportunity to sneak them underneath the garment, allowing them to meet the warmth of your skin. 

Gasping, you jerked back and pulled away from him. 

“Javier!” You squeaked out his name breathlessly, furiously swatting his hands away from your sides. You glared at him. “I thought we agreed, our clothes fucking stay on!”

“Funny, I wasn’t aware that I was taking any of your clothes off.” Javier reached up and tucked a lock of hair behind your ear. He then took a step backwards and gestured towards your bed. “Lay down.”

Your mouth fell open at his request.

“W-what?” You sputtered out, your eyes wide. 

“You heard me. Get on the bed and lay down.”

Javi reached down, sweeping your pile of dresses off of the bed and onto the floor. 

“Why? What are you going to do?” You questioned him, shuffling anxiously from one bare foot to the other.

Javier rolled his eyes and let out a small, impatient sigh. “Just do it, hermosa. You can trust me.”

Swallowing harshly, you obeyed him and walked around to the side of your bed, taking a seat. You inhaled another deep breath before bringing your legs up and laying back, your head resting against your decorative pillows. You nervously tugged and pulled at the hem of his stolen pink shirt, trying to cover yourself up as best as you could as you laid there, sprawled out before him; however Javier had other plans. He climbed onto the bed after you, positioning his body so it hovered over yours. He nudged your legs apart with his knee, settling himself right in between your thighs. He grabbed one of your legs and hiked it up around his waist, putting the two of you in a very, very dangerous position. His fingers remained wrapped around your thigh, his touch burning right into your soft flesh as he held your leg in place around him. 

“Don’t be shy, muñequita.” His voice had gone low and husky. He trailed his hand further up your thigh.

He grinned, feeling satisfied with himself when he felt the goosebumps erupt across your skin.

“Shut up, I’m not shy,” You fibbed, prompting him to chuckle.

“Mentirosa.” Javi’s hand abandoned your leg and he brought his hand up to the side of your face to cradle your cheek in his palm. His thumb brushed across your bottom lip. 

“Kiss me,” he commanded, gently. “And this time, kiss me like you mean it.”

You reached up for him with trembling hands and grabbed two fistfuls of his pewter blue, button up shirt. You pulled him down towards you and lifted yourself up slightly off your pillows, crashing your mouth against his. You allowed yourself to finally release any fears that you might have had before and kissed him greedily and with fervor, as if it would be the very last time you’d ever get to kiss Javier Peña—because it very well could be the last time you would ever get to kiss Javier Peña.

You kissed him deeply, going on until your lungs began to burn—you only broke away from him once they started screaming, demanding oxygen. 

Tearing yourself apart from him, you released his shirt and dropped back down onto your pillows, breathlessly asking, “Better?”

“Oh, so much better. Good girl, mi muñequita linda,” he praised, grinning again as he caressed the silkiness of your cheek. He lowered his head and lips ghosted over yours for a moment before he moved them down your neck, feathering kisses to any exposed skin peeking out from underneath his shirt. His hand found your breast and he groaned realizing that you weren’t wearing a bra underneath it. He kneaded the perfect, soft mound of flesh through the thin fabric, rolling your hardened nipple between his fingers. He bucked his hips into yours, causing a loud moan to escape from your lips the second you felt his hardened cock through his tight, light blue jeans. He caught sight of the way you blushed at the sound that he’d elicited from you and his grin widened. “Noises like that? The louder the better. So don’t hold back, preciosa.”

“What else can I do to make you—to make him feel good?”

Javier dipped his face right into the hollow of your neck, thinking it over for a moment. “A woman who takes control can be very sexy. I like it—I bet he’ll like it if you get on top.”

“I think I can do that.” Biting your bottom lip, you placed your hands on his chest and pushed him back, sliding yourself out from underneath him. You guided him to lay back onto your pillows and climbed on top of him, straddling his waist. 

Shit. Javier cursed inwardly.

Maybe he’d been in over his head with this idea.

He knew at some point he’d have to stop it from going too far—but would he be able to?

“How do you like it?” You asked him, shyly. This time, you hadn’t bothered to correct yourself. 

You didn’t want to know how to please another man.

You wanted to know how to please Javi.

Even if you’d never get the chance to do it.

“Depends on the mood,” he replied, shrugging his shoulders in the most nonchalant manner that he could muster under the circumstances—as if his cock wasn’t rock hard, straining against the zipper of his jeans and begging to be inside you.

“Te gusta despacito?” You start to rock your hips back and forth against his, slowly. “Do you like it slow?”

Javier’s breath hitched in the back his throat. At this point, there was no doubt about it—you could feel him underneath you, throbbing. “Sometimes,” he managed to choke out in reply. “Like I said. Just depends on the mood.”

“Or what about like this?” You grinned down at him, gaining a sense of confidence as you started to move faster on top of him, finding your perfect rhythm. You could see and clearly feel what you were doing to him. Knowing that you were having this kind of effect on Peña was nothing short of a fucking dream come true. 

His hands went to your hips, holding on as you picked up the pace, grinding your clothed core down against his bulge. 

You could feel your own arousal pooling between your legs, soaking your panties; you wouldn’t be surprised if you’d leave behind a wet spot on his jeans. “How am I doing?”

“Fucking amazing, muñeca,” he answered, earnestly. His long, thick fingers dug into your sides as he suggested, “It helps if you put on a little show while you’re up there, too.” He then pictured you in that sexy black lingerie set you’d bought; he imagined what it would be like to slip that tiny little thong to the side so you could freely ride his cock. The mere thought had him seeing stars.

“A show, huh?” You smirked and popped the top two buttons of your shirt—his shirt—exposing the smooth valley between your breasts to him. “I think I can do that too,” You giggled, pulling the fabric to the side, just enough to give him the tiniest glimpse of the soft curves of your chest but not enough to expose yourself completely. 

“Hermosa,” he couldn’t help but groan out. It took every ounce of strength he had inside him not to reach up and tear his shirt right off of you so he could see all of you. 

You grabbed his hands from your hips and slowly began guiding them all around your body. You started by placing them on your breasts, giving him permission to cop another feel before moving them slowly down the lengths of your sides and placing them on your bare thighs. From there, you picked up Javi’s hands once more and placed them behind you, allowing him to take two generous handfuls of your ass. Your hands then abandoned his and you placed them on his chest, supporting yourself as you continued to roll your hips against his, riding him through his jeans. You tossed your head back and closed your eyes; the friction of your clit against his pelvis even through all the clothes felt like absolute heaven, and you let out a lustful moan that bounced off of your bedroom walls as you continued to drive your hips harder against his own.

Realizing that this was no longer a lesson and you were actually pleasuring yourself, Javier groaned again. He moved his hands back to your hips and found himself bucking his own hips upwards to meet you halfway—he abandoned any and all worries about taking it too far. He wanted you to come. 

He needed to see you come.

“Javi,” You gasped his name, moaning again.

“That’s it, muñeca,” he rasped out. “Just like that, baby. Keep going. What a good girl, what a good fucking girl.”

Any and all common sense had been washed away by pleasure and by your need to reach that sweet, sweet release. 

It was so close. You felt him right there, right between your clothed folds, and all you could do was imagine what it would be like to have his cock fill you up and stretch you completely. 

His name began to slip from your lips, rolling off of your tongue over and over again with such ease.

Your movements fell in perfect sync with his.

You went down, he went up.

You pulled, he pushed.

No doubt about it, Javier was trying to get you off.

Somehow, you find a voice that speaks in between all your pitiful little pants. 

 “J-Javi, maybe we s-shouldn’t—”

Javier quickly sat up and wrapped one of his arms around your waist. He slammed your mouths together, silencing you mid sentence. He thrusted upwards, and you whined into his kiss, rubbing your clit against his bulge even harder. 

The beginning of your orgasm coiled up tightly in your belly, and you knew it would spring forward any second now.

“Javi, I’m so close—” 

“It’s okay, hermosa. Come for me,” he mumbled into your mouth.  “I’ve got you.”

Your arms found their way around his shoulders and you buried your face into his neck. Squeezing your eyes shut, your loud cries came out muffled against his collarbone as you unraveled, coming undone with one last cry of his name.

You slumped forward, resting your head on his shoulder as you fought to catch your breath, the pleasure still pulsing between your thighs.

Javier’s other arm curled around you and he said nothing as he held you. 

Once you’d finally started coming down from your high, your eyes flew open and a chill went up the length of your spine.

What had you two just done?

Still straddling his lap, you pulled back. “Javi—”

Without warning, Javier flipped you over so you were on your back underneath him once again. He hovered over you, his eyes meeting yours for just a moment before he dipped his head and captured your lips with his one final, deep and sensual kiss. 

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about tonight,” he murmured once he had pulled away. “You’re fucking perfect, mi vida.”

He touched the tip of his nose to yours before climbing off of you.

“I fucking hope this guy realizes what a lucky son of a bitch he is,” Javier said quietly before turning on the heel of his boot and walking out of your bedroom, leaving you laying there with your mouth parted open in complete shock.

Translations

Solo es una bromita, muñeca. No tienes por qué ofenderte. - It’s just a little joke, doll. No need to get offended.

El vestido rojo. - The red dress.

Te lo juro, Javi. - I swear to you, Javi.

Chismosas - Gossipers

Falta mucha tela, cariño. - There is a lot of fabric missing, darling.

Mentirosa. - Liar.

Te gusta despacito? - Do you like it a little slow? 

#javier peña #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña x y/n #javier peña x you #javier peña x f!reader #javier peña x female reader #javier peña x reader #javier peña fic #javier peña angst #javier pena x reader #javier pena x you #javier pena x y/n #javier pena #pedro pascal characters #narcos fanfiction #narcos fic #javier peña smut #narcos smut #javier pena smut

[mellowsadistic]

Changing Her Hobbies

Your girlfriend may well have some hobbies and interests that you don't approve of. Perhaps you're worried being into football is making her hang out with the wrong crowd, or maybe you think chess is just too grown-up for a silly little thing like her. Whatever the case, the solution is simple. Just tell her she doesn't like those things anymore, and give her a new list of things she likes to do in their place.

Be firm, as she's likely to get very fussy over this. She might complain that she's the only real authority on herself, or insist that it's impossible for her to start liking something just because you've ordered her to. If that happens, just spank her bare bottom over your knee and remind her that you're her Daddy and you know best. Enforce her new hobbies with a strict discipline program and she'll soon learn to engage in them with a smile.

I promise you the results are worth it. I know a man who used this strategy to radically alter his girlfriend’s personality. He loved her very much, but he was sick and tired of her bad attitude and refusal to accept her place as his inferior. He put it down to the kind of activities she liked to take part in, so with a firm hand and a bit of patience, he changed them to better reflect her immature nature. Here’s a before and after of her hobbies:

Things she used to like:

Playing guitar

Reading classic literature

Trying on stylish clothes

Going clubbing with her friends

Having debates about politics

Playing hockey

Going out for romantic dinners

Things she likes now:

Playing with dolls

Watching Disney channel

Running around naked

Doing the housework

Wetting herself for attention

Practicing ballet

Sucking cock under the table

It was a difficult transition for her. She’d always been a bit of a tomboy, so it wasn’t easy for her to adjust to playing with Barbies and prancing about in a tutu. It wasn’t easy to get used to stripping off all her fashionable clothes and going streaking around the house in the nude periodically either, like a toddler with no concept of modesty. Nor was she keen to spend her time watching TV aimed at tweens when she wasn’t scrubbing the floors, making dinner, or doing the laundry. It was especially hard for her to learn that she liked to give frequent blowjobs (she insisted she hated them for the longest time), and she was in complete denial about her desire to regularly pee her pants for attention. However, with enough corrective punishment, she eventually learned to accept her true self.

These days she pouts at the suggestion of going out partying, but bounces up and down with excitement at the thought of mopping the floor. She has no desire to play guitar, and reading anything more advanced than a picture book would bore her to tears, but she can happily spend the whole afternoon glued to her favourite cartoons or prattling away at her baby doll, rocking it in her arms and changing its nappy (and hoping Daddy doesn’t follow through on his threat to put her in nappies because of all the ‘accidents’ she’s been having). She never talks about politics anymore, partly because she has no idea what’s going on in the world since her Daddy banned her from reading the news, and getting involved in rough and tumble sports like hockey would just be silly for a sweet little pirouetting princess like her. It’s much more fun to put on ballet performances for Daddy and her dollies. Modelling the latest trends is a thing of the past for her too; in fact, it’s a struggle to keep any kind of clothes on her since she’s always wanting to be Daddy’s little nudist - why wear a cute pair of jeans when she could just go bare-bottomed instead? And why would she want to go out to a fancy restaurant for a romantic meal when she could just serve Daddy his dinner herself before crawling under the table to suck his dick while he eats?

Sometimes she slips up. She looks bored while playing with her dolls, or casts a longing look at a guitar in the window display of a music store. She might go too long without wetting herself or forget to smile while she's doing the polishing. When that happens, her boyfriend is always quick to reacquaint her bottom with his hand, or even the paddle. A 'fake it till you make it' policy is important to enforce here. Make your girlfriend pretend to enjoy her new hobbies, and eventually, over time, she'll learn to like them for real. And if not, don't worry, because you won't know the difference!

#mellowsadistic

[guardian5tiger3]

Pick a Group Tarot !

What's up ?

1. 2. 3.

Group 1 .

I'm actually picking up on past energy, like maybe 2000's , early 2010's .? It depends for everyone, the point is it's a message about the past, your past self. Something about your future has something to do with your past. Ok, of course. I mean, it's being suggested that you should go back in time, enjoy stuff you used to like that might make you nostalgic. Music, shows, movies, anything really. Especially around middle school age . Once again, it depends , but for a lot of you that's about the age I'm talking about, I believe. For some of you this is way off lol. The point is to relive some stuff from your past, bring back some memories. It'll open up your heart somehow. You'll feel a lot about it if you do, and find the right stuff. It may motivate you and give you a lot of energy moving forward. Hell. Yah. You guys. What more needs to be said. This is a sweet reading , if you ask me. A lot of you come up with so many questions and thoughts, yo why not just take the advice and try it out and if it works it works. Okay some of you are kind of struggling right now. For whatever reason, though, this is what I'm supposed to tell you. In general what spirit wants for you is to open your heart up and feel in your heart. Also weirdly specific but, something about a croissant.

Group 2.

Y'all need to be strong within yourselves at this time , maybe even more than usual. I'm getting this could very well be socially especially or for some in a work environment. Why am I picking up on a movie theatre. Mainly the popcorn. You guys seem like you're just kinda waiting for something to happen, and you're hoping this something happens, and it's good I'm seeing that you guys are dreaming big and stuff ya know.

Ohhhhhh. Y'all know what. Some of you need to maybe rethink a situation you rejected cause you're wanting someone specific and waiting for that. You literally might have just walked right past exactly what you want deep down lol. You guys!!!!! W.t.f. lol. Take your time to think about stuff and reflect. You may not even know what or who I'm talking about . Y'all gonna have to sit back for a while and contemplate maybe. Maybe you have too many standards or ideas but the universe knows what you want and need even more than you do. Dude I see this being a raw blessing. Y'all lmaoo!!! Serious. It may not seem appealing cause of whatever you've been taught to think or just your perception at first, but I'm telling you!!! Just, think about it, ok. You guys seem great by the way, good vibes. Just a little judgemental maybe. But I mainly feel lighthearted. I think that's lowkey your true natures, so, yeah. Peace and love ya goobers. Dang.

Group 3 .

You guys, sometimes you don't actually have to literally win the game to win the game. Sometimes playing the game and enjoying the game is where you really win, at the end of the day. Y'all get what I'm saying? Don't be too serious, don't be too hard on yourself or anyone else. You might need to have some heart healing taking place. Someone must have been harsh to you at some point in your life. You just need to reflect on that if that's the case, maybe and be nice to yourself and rebel against that. I'm also picking up the general concept of becoming your own best friend , being an appreciable character personality. Mainly a lot of what I'm getting is just reteaching yourself to be nice to yourself and enforcing respect on ya name. If you might be a little scared of personal development in some specific way though you know deep down it's good for you, know I can sense people will actually like and enjoy you even more afterwards.!

:)

#free tarot readings #pac reading #pick a card reading #pick a picture #pick a pile #tarot reading #pac #pick a card #tarot pac #pac tarot

[obsidian-pages777]

Pick a Card: Career Guidance

Top Left to Right--> Pile 1, Pile 2

Bottom Left to Right--> Pile 3. Pile 4

================================================================================================

Pile 1

Current Situation: The Chariot

You are determined and focused on your career goals, moving forward with purpose and direction. There's a sense of control and determination driving your actions.

Challenges: Five of Wands

You may be facing competition or conflict in your workplace. There could be differing opinions and struggles that make it hard to progress smoothly.

Advice: Strength

Rely on your inner strength and patience to navigate through challenges. Maintain self-control and approach conflicts with compassion and understanding. Your resilience will lead you to success.

Ideal Careers:

Leadership Roles: Positions such as a manager, director, or CEO, where determination and leadership are crucial.

Entrepreneur: Running your own business where you can harness your drive and overcome competition.

Project Management: Roles that require strong organizational skills and the ability to navigate conflicts and challenges.

Military or Law Enforcement: Careers that require discipline, determination, and the ability to handle conflict and stress.

Athletics or Coaching: Where physical and mental strength, as well as resilience, are important.

================================================================================================

Pile 2

Current Situation: The Hierophant

Your career path is currently influenced by traditional structures and conventional methods. You may be working within an established system or organization.

Challenges: Seven of Cups

There may be confusion or too many options available, making it difficult to choose the right path. Avoid getting lost in illusions or wishful thinking.

Advice: The Hermit

Take time for introspection and seek inner guidance. Reflect on your true goals and values before making decisions. Solitude and self-reflection will provide clarity.

Ideal Careers:

Education: Teacher, professor, or academic advisor, where traditional knowledge and guidance are valued.

Religious or Spiritual Leader: Priest, minister, or spiritual counselor, providing guidance within established belief systems.

Legal Profession: Lawyer, judge, or paralegal, working within the structures of the legal system.

Research and Academia: Careers that involve deep study and reflection, such as a researcher or academic.

Counseling or Therapy: Roles that require introspection and helping others find clarity, such as a therapist or counselor.

================================================================================================

Pile 3

Current Situation: Ace of Pentacles

A new opportunity or beginning in your career is emerging. This could be a job offer, a new project, or a chance to start something new with strong potential for growth.

Challenges: The Devil

Be wary of falling into negative patterns or becoming too attached to material success. Avoid temptations that could lead to unethical behavior or burnout.

Advice: Page of Swords

Approach new opportunities with curiosity and a willingness to learn. Stay vigilant and gather information before making decisions. Be clear and honest in your communication.

Ideal Careers:

Finance: Banker, financial advisor, or investment analyst, where new opportunities for growth are abundant.

Real Estate: Real estate agent or property manager, involving new ventures and potential for substantial growth.

Technology: IT specialist, software developer, or tech entrepreneur, where continuous learning and vigilance are key.

Journalism: Reporter, editor, or content creator, focusing on gathering and disseminating information.

Consulting: Business consultant or analyst, providing strategic advice and insights to businesses.

================================================================================================

Pile 4

Current Situation: Three of Cups

Collaboration and teamwork are currently significant in your career. You may be part of a supportive group or network, enjoying camaraderie and shared goals.

Challenges: Four of Pentacles

There could be a tendency to hold on too tightly to security or resources, leading to stagnation. Fear of change or loss may be preventing growth.

Advice: The Star

Stay hopeful and keep a positive outlook. Trust in the universe and your vision for the future. This is a time for healing, inspiration, and aligning with your true purpose.

Ideal Careers:

Event Planning: Event coordinator or wedding planner, where collaboration and teamwork are essential.

Human Resources: HR manager or recruiter, fostering a positive and collaborative workplace environment.

Creative Arts: Artist, musician, or performer, involving collaboration and shared creative goals.

Non-Profit or Community Work: Community organizer, social worker, or NGO worker, focusing on collective well-being and humanitarian goals.

Healthcare: Nurse, doctor, or therapist, providing care and support with a focus on healing and hope.

#pick a card #pick a pile #pick a photo #pick one #tarot community #tarot reading #tarot #tarot cards #tarotblr #pick a picture #pick a reading

[riizebabie444]

𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙧 🌸

pile one

a new relationship, not necassarily romantic. it could be a friend or a work colleague. becoming closer with a family member. potentially a blossoming romance. you will find yourselves int he early stages of this new relationship.

so for some of you, you could find yourselves in a situation where you or another is abusing their power, or letting emotions rule over kindness and logic. alternatively, it could be that you are shying away from a leadership opportunity.

you could find yourself as someone or with someone who is clingier than expected, someone who doesn't necassarily feel good to be around. it is of utmost importance to prioritise yourself and your self-care over pleasing this person.

you could be welcoming a spiritual, or even religious, awakening. you are aligning your beliefs with your way of life.

an increase of wealth or financial opportunity may find its way towards you this summer. it could come in the form of a gift or as a new job. something with financial value will come to you.

the inevitable confrontation of your darker side. your bad habits, tendencies and mindset will be challenged. you will learn how you are holding yourself back and begin to better yourself against your shadow traits,

you will be introduced to changes which will help you break free from cycles you no longer wish to be a part of.

an opportunity for learning. if you have applied for a school or university, a scholarship or grant to support your education, good news regarding these will come for you. if you are working, it will likely come in the form of training to level up your skills and perhaps ready you for a promotion.

overall, this summer has a lot of self-development and growth in store for you, pile one!

cards: ace of cups, the emporer rv, queen of cups rv, the hierophant, king of pentacles, the devil, four of cups, page of pentacles

pile two

you will experience luck and success in the areas you want/need it most. i see it will all be a result of your hard work up until you achieve it.

material success is also on its way. if you have been expecting or applied for money, it seems there will be a positive result. it could also be unexpected or come in an unexected form.

you will have more freedom this summer, take this how you will it is different for everyone. but i see it will be a more free summer compared to summers you've had in the past. you will have fewer restraints.

you will have a stronger mind and be able to make rational and logical decisions. you could be enforcing more structure in your life, saying goodbye to lazy or negative behaviour.

self-confidence is on its way. you'll also find some more independence in your life, sort of growing up or out of an old phase where you relied heavily on others. as you "grow up" you will also grow more confident.

i see hard work so you may find dedication and determination coming to you and your summer will consist largely of you working on this project, or something you have been working hard for will be achieved.

despite the dedication to this work, i see this summer you will have lots of time left for your own thoughts. you'll have a lot of time to think and reflect on your life and desires. and also time to just daydream.

even when things get difficult, you will find yourself standing strong. by the end of the summer, you will see yourself as brave and courageous, you will have a stronger mentality.

overall pile two, it seems like you guys will be more independent and free this summer, taking control over your routine and life.

cards: ace of wands, king of pentacles, the devil, king of swords, queen of wands, knight of pentacles, the hermit, nine of wands

ʚɞ ─── masterlist. paid readings. exchange rules.

donations. games/events. feedback.

© riizebabie444 — all rights reserved. please do not copy, steal, repost or translate my readings on any site. any act of which will be classed as plagiarism.

#ʚɞ jella’s readings #readings #tarot #tarot readings #tarot pick a pile #tarot pick a card #future spouse pac #free tarot readings #tarot reading #tarot pac #free tarot reading #tarotblr #tarotcommunity

[fuck-customers]

A couple of weeks ago, in a day I didn't work, we had two fights that both required the cops to be called.

The first one was a couple of groups of teens who apparently had beef and pulled knives on each other. An old guy tried to break them up, and both groups turned on him. The issue did end up being resolved without any blood drawn, which is more than I can say for the next fight. (But people wonder why I'm so strict on enforcing the No Weapons rule. It's because I remember the last time someone got stabbed)

Fight number 2 was a drawn-out affair. For context, I work at a movie theater. There was a (white) couple who apparently were in their movie and causing a disturbance by throwing around racial slurs (I was not told the specifics but I'm assuming the N-word) at other (black) customers. For some reason, they weren't asked to leave, just to be quiet, and they eventually shut up. When the couple went outside after the movie, the other group of customers was waiting for them. This was the last show of the night, so the doors were all locked (our doors can be opened from inside when locked, but not the outside. So we lock them while the customers are still in the building). The group, who I'm told had at least 4 people in it, started beating on the couple. I'm not sure where the lady went, but she disappeared at some point. Meanwhile, a manager (I was not told which one) who's helping close up hears some commotion and looks over and sees the racist guy banging on the door and screaming, and he's smearing blood on the door. All the manager knows is that someone is being attacked, so they run over and open the door to let the guy slip inside before closing the door behind him while someone else calls 911. The group scatters. And guess what? The racist guy was pissed that the door was locked, so he punched the manager and also broke the door, because apparently racists don't know how to be greatful to a person of color for saving their ass (basically all my coworkers, including the managers, are POC. So even though I don't know who the manager was, I know they weren't white) So now charges are being pressed both for the assault on the manager and for the cost of repairing the door. But they fucked around and found out, I guess. Or should I say, talk shit, get hit. Granted, I can't really condone beating the shit out of strangers for calling you slurs... I don't really feel bad for the racist couple. Hopefully, lessons were learned, though somehow I doubt it.

Side note, there is actually a customer who calls *me* slurs, and has for quite a while, but I doubt it was the same customer, since she isn't white, and thus doesn't match the description of the racist couple. I didn't see her for almost a year, and then she came in a few weeks ago and was actually behaved and didn't seem to recognize me. So I'm not sure if she did some self-reflection or started on some meds/therapy or found Jesus or something, but whatever it is, I'm glad it's working for her, I guess. Though as far as I know, she's not mentally ill, just a Karen who doesn't like that she has to follow the rules like everyone else.

#submissions #fuck customers

[meowzilla93]

So I’ve seen so much ragging on Baxter calling himself a rebel or a bad boy, and it hurts me! ( I know most of it is in jest, its okay!) But I wanted to explain how he really IS what he claims to be, even though may just seem like a privileged individual

(I really had to reduce this from an essay to fit tumblrs character limit, I am talking like a 2k word essay, so its condensed but covers my points lol also please keep in mind I have taken canon information and given my interpretation of the information to this)

Lets look at the definition of a Bad Bay archetype – a cultural archetype often defined as a male who behaves badly, especially within societal norms. Qualities associated with this archetype is confidence, independence and/or assertiveness (though there are the negative connotations such as manipulation, dishonesty or a lack of consideration for others, but we are not focusing on those as these do not reflect Baxter)

And what is a rebel? At its core, it is a person who resist any authority, control, or tradition. Rebels like to change up the status quo, refusing to conform to societal pressures and controlling figures.

So lets look at Baxter Alexander Ward’s life:

Brought up in wealth

Was sheltered and raised with certain values

Parents were controlling and dictated a lot of his life

Was never treated like a child, but as an adult his whole life

More than likely taught to think himself above everyone (which he confirms)

Raised with very bigoted, misogynistic, homophobic and just cruel morals and notions  

If we look at those specific points, where does the Bad Boy archetype fit first?

By the time he reaches 19 years of age, he wants to be able to make connections outside of the circle of money he was raised in

Though he keeps up appearances for his parents, he tends to thumb his parents way of life, not wanting to become the same type of people they are

Rather than endorse their way of thinking, he becomes more open and accepting

(this boy might have mighty expectations for himself, but for others, he will never expect more than they can provide)

He is the very thing his parents do no approve off; Pansexual, accepting of others, opposite to what they want

By the time he is 19 years old, he is already snubbing his parents and their values, wanting to move outside of their circle of life and live his own life. There is the understanding that he was already sleeping around in high school, and considering his partners would be of all genders, the rumors circulating him would affect the image of the family, which his parents would not approve off. His visual looks, moving heavily into the black/ white monochrome and more alternative fit outside the expectations of what his family would expect of him. He dresses as he pleases, not as someone else would want him to.

These may seem like little actions, little acts of rebelling against his family, but these are MASSIVE in the context of his life. To flip the entire narrative that he learnt from his parents, and continues to do so in every way that he is able to. Sure, he gets a fake ID to just get a car to sight see in and get booze for himself to drink when out for dinner or even at home. But these acts are against what his parents expect or event want of him, what their social circle would expect of him, and as such, he fits the Bad Boy narrative within THAT social circle. And that is what matters in this context.

So, of course, this feeds into the rebel label. Going against everything he was taught, becoming the opposite person his parents expected of him. Resisting the control that his parents try and enforce on him and finding ways to escape the grip of expectation. I repeat myself a lot here but its that constant push back on what his parents expected of him, the morals, the views, the way he should handle himself and what they wanted of him. Baxter's rebellion is deep,y rooted in a sincere desire for authenticity, change and self-discovery, making him a truly compelling character.

Baxter at 19 years old was the Bad Boy Rebel of his families social circle. From the outside he just seems like a typical rich kid that was a bit strange, but from the inside, that’s where the rebelling sat.

Baxter at 24 is the man that continued in that path of rebellion. He further cut himself away from what his parents wanted, stood on his own two feet and tried to become the type of person he could be proud of. He separated himself from their morals, their visions, their actions. His mother who held charities to make connections and get a tax kick back? He does it to actually help people and does it almost pro-bono, no expectation to gain anything further from it. His father who holds a franchise and makes money from others manual labor? He takes the labor from others and takes it on himself to ensure that the day that they have (be it wedding or birthday or another event entirely) goes swimmingly and they have less stress than where they started.

Baxter continues to be a Rebel and Bad Boy as he grows and matures, as he continues to shun the way he grew up and becomes a better person for it.

There are probably other key points I have missed, but these are the ones that stood out to me, cementing the idea that Baxter Alexander Ward is a through and through

Rebellious Bad Boy

Thank you for coming to my (slightly unhinged) TED (tumblr) Talk.

#baxter ward #our life beginnings and always #olba #our life #olba baxter #meow drabbles!

[imabreadstick-blog]

Gortash brainrot

Okay so Gortash has been on the mind.

So here are some thoughts:

In the absolute plot, he is the "hero" who makes the steel watch to "defeat" the cultists. I find that fascinating. The fact he is supposed to be the "hero" makes me think that was the case one so he gets the credit and the power of being the hero and two it makes it so no other heroes show up. He wants to conquer more lands, which would be much easier with the power and without any other hero showing up. I think it's like a "no hero showed up for me, so no actual hero will show up for you either". 'You' as in the civilians.

ALSO instead of just killing his parents he keeps them alive. He tadpoles them so they can only say nice things about him and they introduce the shop as the "Home of Archduke Gortash". THEY CALL IT HIS HOME BY FORCE OF GORTASH. It's like a constant reminder to his parents that THAT WAS HIS HOME TOO!!!! They discarded him. They discarded their child! Their young child. It is easy to believe they never gave him the love or attention children need. In a sick turn of fate, now they have to give that love and attention to Gortash albeit forced.

It also makes me think he is just like a child. He wants the attention and love he missed out on so he does fucked up plots to get it. He is the "hero" in the plot, forces his parents to "love" him, and has the civilians of the Gates adore him for creating the Steel Watch. He is crazy smart but runs on a desire to have what he never got as a kid. He refuses to self-reflect too either because he gaslit himself so much to think he is in the right. If he did self-reflect that would destroy his whole view of himself. It would make him realize he is no better than Raphael and his parents, and that he is doing the same thing. So instead he lies to himself and the attention he gains is used to enforce those lies.

Gortash is a tragic character who could have been so much more and a better person if he didn't continue the cycle of trauma he suffered. He is 100% a bad person but you can see what made him like that. He could have changed for the better at any time but refused to. It was easier to live in his delusion than face the trauma head-on.

He's my evil goober

#enver gortash #bg3 #bg3 gortash #lord gortash #bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate #brain dump #character analysis #Apologies to everyone who had to suffer through my ramblings about Gortash #Gale ramblings will come soon...

[saylessastrology]

Scorpio Lunar Eclipse - May 5th EMOTIONAL ENDINGS & NEW BEGINNINGS 💫

Scorpio Rising - 1st house- This will be an emotional time where you feel like you can not hide your deepest emotions from others.

Sagittarius Rising - 12th house-There is an emotional need to turn inward and listen to your subconscious needs.

Capricorn Rising - 11th house- There may be an emotional need to be around your friends. You could be missing then more than usual during this time.

Aquarius Rising - 10th house- Relationships with authorities at work and at home may be tense during this time. Focus on family and career.

Pisces Rising - 9th house- you may have to travel during this time. Possible to see siblings, for school or religious reasons.

Aries Rising - 8th house- A transformation period where you can expect changes in your money, sex, death, or taxes.

Taurus Rising - 7th house- a period of transformation and focus on your relationships with other people. You may have to choose between setting aside time for yourself vs spending time with others.

Gemini Rising - 6th house- This time enforces a time dedicated to work, duty and health. You may be inspired (or forced) to start a new health regiment

Cancer Rising - 5th house- Here there is a strong need to get out and enjoy yourself. If you’ve been focusing on work and no play this is a great time to indulge and a creative activity.

Leo Rising - 4th house- Here there is a time for strong emotional self reflection. You may feel introverted and want to be by yourself at this time.

Virgo Rising - 3rd House- This is a time focused on your communication style and possibly your relationship with your siblings. Expect transformation in the way you communicate with your loved ones.

Libra Rising - 2nd house- your values based on self worth are the focus at this time. This is a good time to get or ask for a raise.

#astro observations #astrology #astro notes #Scorpio #lunar eclipse #astrology transits #Aries #Taurus #Gemini #cancer #Leo #Virgo #Libra #Sagittarius #Capricorn #Aquarius #Pisces

[wordsnstuff]

Hiya! Just wondering, what unusual and unique ways have helped you get out of a writer's creative block?

Let's talk *briefly* about writer's block.

Yes, this will be long, but I think it will help you.

It's been a long time since I was in a regular posting schedule for this blog, and that is upsetting to me (and many of you, I'm aware). For a significant chunk of that time, I considered writer's block to be the primary reason for this, but looking back on the nearly three years I've spent attempting over and over to return to the schedule and routine I once maintained, I have accepted that writer's block was never the problem. Not the way I thought.

I have, and I'm sure I'm not the only one, always thought of writer's block as if it's a tangible condition or something that happens to you, like a cold. That conclusion always prompted me to seek a solution (for instance, motivational content or exterior inspiration or anything that would enhance my capacity for self discipline). Because I thought of it as something that just developed naturally, I focused very little on the root of the issue and consequently it never seemed to improve.

For most of us, the past three years have ranged from severely abnormal to deeply traumatic, and though a lot of mythology around the process of art and inspiration tells us that conflict and pain inform a good portion of creativity, I have to admit that none of what the world has been through recently has made me want to write. When you and everyone you know have been in a survival mindset for several years, the seemingly trivial pleasure of creating fiction or sharing content about the process feels overwhelming. Every time I've returned to this space that I created long before experiencing any of this turmoil, especially because this turmoil occurred during the dawn of my adulthood, it has felt like a silly attempt at denial.

My writer's block, and I'm sure many others', was not simply a case of burnout or lack of inspiration. It's not that I had been pushing myself too hard without allowing for reasonable time for rest and recharging my mind, or that I simply ran out of ideas or reasons to want to continue. Even when you have the deepest of passion for a craft, you will always be human and therefore always affected by your environment and the events in your life. When you find yourself unable to put the pen to the paper, instead of asking what you can do to change that, ask why you're struggling in the first place. Focus on the cause, not the effect.

For me, a lot of my difficulty with writing has come from my environment and the mindset it has put me in. I am currently in university, so whether I like it or not, I have to write here and there and pull myself together to be able to do that. Every time I do so, I wonder why I can't enforce that same authority on myself for my personal projects, and it's because, for a long while, my environment has not been conducive to that effort. I haven't had the control over my schedule and responsibilities that I used to have, and finding a balance between these responsibilities and my personal goals has has a learning curve. All of these circumstances, for better or worse, have affected my mental state and my ability to write.

I did not have the freedom or even the energy to put in practice the exercises that helped me before, and as a result I haven't been writing. Coming out of that struggle hasn't been a matter of waiting for things to change or get better, it's been putting my energy toward a new process of trial and error. Since accepting that my new reality is here to stay, the priority has been finding new ways to work around it and specifically, work with it. This acceptance can require a lot of difficult reflection, and this can reach beyond your desire to write and into your desire to live a good life in general. It can feel silly or humiliating or patronizing to approach this reflection from the very bottom of things, and this includes the basics.

It may seem silly to consider the basics when the problem feels so extreme, but when you're consistently forgetting the casual maintenance of your mind and body, you will consistently find yourself failing to accomplish much beyond the bare minimum. If you struggle with mental health, this will be even more evident. Basic things like hydration, diet, sleep, movement, interaction, and joy will always be the most effective place to start when addressing why you cannot write. Once you have verified that these needs are met, then the presence of a deeper problem will reveal itself, but you'll never know if that's the case unless you check the other boxes.

So, you've checked the basics and they're all fine but you're still experiencing writer's block. Have you made time in your daily schedule for intentional rest? Are you coming home at the end of a long day and jumping straight into writing or keeping up with your duties at home or simply falling in front of a screen for a few hours? None of these things are rest. Distracting yourself with noise or housekeeping is not rest, and when it's all you do after a full day of other responsibilities, you haven't truly spent a moment with yourself finding fulfilling joy or relaxation. Yes, they can be compelling and very difficult habits within your routine to let go of, especially if you struggle to function without something occupying the back of your mind, but rest is extremely important to the creative process. If you like to scroll online a little bit or watch an episode of your comfort show after you get home to unwind, that's great. But in order to truly take advantage of your free time, try to optimize it by being intentional about the way you're experiencing it. Try not to fall into a routine of distraction because that isn't rest and it won't satisfy any of your needs.

Have you incorporated things into your routine that will contribute to your motivation to write? I don't mean you should put Stephen King quotes as your desktop screensaver or watch videos of people writing to make you want to participate. Those things help some people and that's great, but consuming things that make you think or bring you pleasure like books and well written movies or shows or music or podcasts can be just as impactful as anything else you do for your creative process. It's not just about what you do, it's about how others inspire you, and it's one thing to say you love books and reading and learning, and it's another to actually do them every day like you would wash your face or brush your teeth.

Whether you write as a hobby or an aspiration or a job, the creative process remains the same. It's important to remain consistent with the things you do to maintain your ability to write as much as it is to remain consistent with your actual writing routine. As a general rule of thumb, writer's block doesn't come from nowhere. If you want to alleviate it, you have to target the root of the problem or it will continue appearing on the surface. There is no one-size-fits-all cure to it and there are no "top ten wacky ways I solved years of executive dysfunction with the right chrome extension or tea flavor or candle scent or by typing upside down". This is internal work you will need to do, but it starts with trusting yourself. It is never too late to return to your passion. You will build it back up like a muscle, but you have to heal first.

I sincerely hope this helps,

Kate

–

Masterlist | All questions, articles, etc. in one place

If you enjoy my blog, please consider Buying Me A Coffee

#writer's block #motivation #inspiration #writeblr #writing #writer #writespo #writing community #creative writing #on writing #writers on tumblr #advice #writing advice #writers #write #qna

[eddathegreat]

Loved the religious inversion throughout The Owl House and how it came to the fore in the finale.

Here's the Demon Realm, with the main locales on the decaying body of the similarly demonic-looking Titan, whose name is invoked in a way similar to God, "Oh, Titan." He has a single heir, for whom he gave his own life to protect, the last of his kind.

The villain is the all-but-explicit Christian puritan witchhunter, who uses the name of the Titan to rally support for himself, the public narrative serving his own private narrative where he is the hero. But the truth is that the higher power whose name he borrows loathes him, because he hurts people on a personal and cultural level, with indoctrination and enforced conformity and oppression.

The main character is this kooky bi girl, misfit in just about every sense, fleeing from her own conformist environment. She bonds with the Titan in a very real way. She finds a family with the Titan's son and his adoptive mother. She befriends people and frees them from indoctrination to form a better community. She finds love. She builds unity in companionship rather than domination. She learns with eyes wide open, taking knowledge from multiple teachers and by watching the Titan himself and finding the glyphs he lets her see. Every time she messes up, she owns up to it, and makes earnest attempts to improve.

This leads to the most emotionally resonant deus ex machina ever. After finally finding self-acceptance, Luz is still willing to sacrifice herself, and her reward is resurrection with divine favor. She is the chosen hand of the divine, a sweet kid full of compassion and love and creativity who was happy to learn and self-reflect. She stands against a genocidal superstitious puritan who ruled as a tyrant over his people and abused his family.

It's just such a perfectly straightforward laying out of good vs evil that manages to be sneak up on you.

#toh #the owl house #luz noceda #the titan #king #emperor belos #toh belos #luz noceda is jesus #either that or king is jesus

[1galaxia369]

CAPRICORN RISING♑️

You have been very hard on yourself, I understand the purpose of it but you are doing it all wrong. Self reflection and shadow work is completely different from bullying yourself. You're going through an awakening right now, the universe is calling you out, you guys have a higher purpose in this world. Some of you guys have secret plans that you have been working on and some dreams that you are about to entertain that know one knows. I know you are very protective of your ideas and desires, but being ruled by saturn isn't easy, always working extra hard because the whole thing might fall apart if you don't focus & put your all in oryou'll have to start over. Not to mention having envious people around you that silently sabotage all your projects. Add a mind that is your biggest enemy and you have the recipe for an extremely exhausted human. When will you address that and put an end to it? All those voices in your head, whether it's you valuing your worth based on your productivity or the voices of people who can't see your vision. The best way to stop the noise is by first acknowledging it's there, then you have to find out why you allow those thoughts in, Ask yourself do you think they're right, ask yourself again if you or your talents and skills fit into that low bar that everyone else is setting for you, when did these other people whose drive and skill could never match up to yours have the power to convince you that you can't succeed at all your goals? It's literally judgement time, you are being pushed to cut that behavior out, allowing negativity to cloud your mind and breed self doubt and self sabotage. It's time to become YOU. Reflection, renewal and reckoning is your energy. That plan that you've been working for the past couple of months or years even is finally coming in to play, there's a major turn around coming. You've been tending to your garden well and you'll be harvesting the fruits of your labor very soon.

Overall, success is coming in whatever field that has been your focus for a while now. If you been waiting on an answer this is it, if you are actually about to start something now is a good time. Plant the seeds and wait patiently, the success is guaranteed with consistent care and effort. Celebration is store for you guys, party and go out have fun, you've been working too hard. You give yourself no breaks and you don't treat yourself enough, there's nothing in this world more important than you. Stop putting yourself last in every situation. There are also people that don't mean you well, as you progress and evolve you'll be removing and rearranging a lot of things in your life and finally setting BOUNDARIES. Them people not gonna like that! You have to stand on business though, NO means NO. You plan out your day, if it ain't life or death then you have to prioritize your self and your projects. I feel like a lot of people who aren't dependent on you, always depend on you to show up regardless of what you got going on. You have to discern if they are more important than accomplishing those daily goals. Procrastination is a big issue for Capricorns, no matter the placement, always allowing yourself to be drawn away from your work routine. You set that plan up so that you can properly show up for yourself and have time to handle your other responsibilities. It's wasted if you keep having to remake your plans and routines to accommodate others, leaving simple work that can be done today for tomorrow, now tomorrow is thrown off and now you're burnt out. This cycle always opens the door for you to start beating yourself up. I understand that people need your help and you're the jack of all trades but it can be done whenever you are free, you don't drop everything to go help someone with something they can wait to do or pay someone to do. All humans were born with their own physical capabilities no need to fuck yourself up to show for them. Have strength and enforce your boundaries and do not waver, they can wait, finish your stuff first.

You are safe to move forward with your plans, invest your time, skills and money. You'll have a return on investment WHEN it is successful ( take the word 'if' and change it to 'when'...change 'I think' to 'I know'). Be excited, you escape and find solace in your work and creative endeavors, you complicate that flow by being hard on yourself. You are supported too, remember that. You'll be noticing that all of a sudden you'll have more money in your hands to spend on yourself and invest into you projects. The universe and your spirit guides are handing you support and opportunities, take them and don't hesitate. You know what a good opportunity looks like trust yourself to pursue them and watch the success come true. Movement is happening, this is exciting, changes will be happening all around you! Be happy! Some of you will be travelling really soon, or moving away from where you are or even relocating internationally. Be happy for once and trust that good things can happen for you.

I recommend spending time in nature, you need peace and quiet,observe the animals and the ecosystem. Smudge your surroundings (and yourself) you need to get rid of all that negative energy.(sage,palo santo,sweet grass, incense) Breathing exercises are needed 15 deep breaths for release. Close your eyes and visualize the things you want accomplished, manifest more. Be delusional about your goals.

12:12 12:22 12:34

#tarot #tarot reading #astrology #spirituality #capricorn #capricorn rising #zodiac

[coochiequeens]

These ladies are Queens

‘Second only to men’ is my name: more Chinese women ditch sexist names from boy-seeking parents amid feminist awakening

Women in China are legally changing their names amid a wider awareness of gender issues and loosened restrictionsThey had names which reflect a parental desire for boys — Zhaodi: ‘beckon to younger brother’, Yingdi: ‘welcome younger brother’

“After an entire week, I finally succeeded in changing my name with the authorities. Let the stars shine in the coming years — It’s never too late!” wrote 20-year-old Chen Xingwan in celebration on her social media account.

For the past two decades, the young Chinese woman has been officially called Chen Yanan instead — ya meaning “only second to” and nan meaning “men”.

According to her father, who gave her the name, it means “a boy is coming after this baby”, while her mother, who had no say in the matter, interpreted it as “you are no worse than a boy”.

Sharing her new identity document on Xiaohongshu, China’s equivalent of Instagram, the university student from eastern China’s Anhui province said she hoped it would end a long period of self-doubt and start a new chapter in her life.

Chen is just one of many Chinese women who want to change the sexist names their parents gave them to reflect a preference for sons.

The trend has gained momentum over the past year amid a wider feminist awakening and loosened restrictions on legal name-changing for adults in mainland China.

At the start of last year, China enforced its first Civil Code allowing adults to choose their own names, as long as the words used are, “not against fundamental social values”.

Due to the traditional preference for a male heir in Chinese society, girls names which convey a family’s wishes for a boy were popular both before and during the one-child policy.

The policy, which wasn’t completely abandoned until 2015, limited all urban couples to one child, while those in the countryside were allowed a second chance if their first child was a girl.

This resulted in many parents giving their newborn daughters names such as Yanan: “second only to men”, Zhaodi: “beckon to younger brother”, Yingdi: “welcome younger brother” and Aidi: “love younger brother”.

Another is Sheng-nan which means “better than men”. This is usually interpreted as “despite the fact that you are a girl, you are better than a boy”, which is based on the sexist presumption that men are normally superior to women.

According to the Ministry of Public Security, of female citizens bearing the three most common family names in mainland China — Wang, Li, and Zhang — almost 32,000 are named “second only to men”.

More than 13,000 women with these family names are called “beckon to younger brother”.

“Since childhood, all my teachers would ask me the same questions when seeing my name for the first time; ‘Did your father want a boy? Do you have a younger brother?’,” said Chen .

Her younger brother came three years after her and was given the name Yongkuan, “It is a very normal name that won’t bring any trouble to him,” she said.

Chen, however, said she suffered significant social stigma because of her name.

Her classmates gave her nasty nicknames associated with the word men, such as “men’s room”, she said.

“I’ve hated my name since I was young. When I was asked to introduce myself, I was always unwilling to say my name,” she said.

“For some people, their names are just a symbol and may not play an important role in their daily life. But for many others, they may have been hurt because of their names. There could be some bad outcomes psychologically,” Chen said.

Many women in mainland China share Chen’s sentiments and have posted about their name-changing experiences with photos of their new ID cards attached online.

They include 22-year-old Zhang Yingdi from Tianjin who became Zhang Yuge, and a 24-year-old Lin Aidi from Guangdong province in southern China, who herself Lin Lisha.

Huang Chunyu, a retired professor in Chinese culture and history, said a person’s given name often conveys the giver’s expectations and understanding of what constitutes a good life.

“

After the era of the one-child policy, women became more independent and confident. They refuse to be subordinate to men and believe they are as good as, or even better than men,” he said, adding, “so this trend is a true reflection of social development.”

University student Chen said she was happy that her parents’ attitude had changed over time.

They were supportive when she told them she wanted to have a new name, she said.

“As they grow older, they are not as rigid as before. They not only agreed with my decision, but even helped me pick my new name,” she said.

#China #Son preference #Xiaohongshu #Name change

[daddyelliott1979]

Reflections on being a Daddy

Something we don't acknowledge enough on our communities is Daddy/Mommy/CG/Dom mental health and head spaces including when ours drop.

In fact our feelings are often forgotten about compared to the Sea of feelings, thoughts and Mental health of Littles and Subs.

Some would argue that's how it should be, we are the Bigs and therefore should some how beable to handle it.

Let me tell you as someone who is not only a former little turned Daddy, but also a Therapist, this simply isn't true!

I want in this post to concentrate on a couple key areas.

Head Space Drops

Post visit feelings

CG mental health

Head space drops

If a CG or Dom fails to do something, like say Good morning or some other usual thing they do, perhaps because they are busy; you will most likely see a post somewhere about "my Daddy made me feel".

Maybe they were curt, or distracted snd not attentive enough. Or didn't enforce a rule.

And it usually will centre around a head space drop. And as a Daddy thats upsetting to read.

But what we don't talk about is when subs or littles don't follow a rule or don't something that was expected- perhaps they were busy.

What we don't see us posts about the CG head space drop- and that i find interesting.

In fact we don't talk about CG headspaces at all- and let me tell you we have them!

For me I create huge spaces in my life for my boys. Those spaces are full of joy and excitement!

Heres the thing that really needs to be talked about, we need you! We can't be us, without you!

A baby can put on a Nappy, grab a Dummy, a Stuffie, put on Bluey, and bab out!

CG don't have that option! And we don't talk about it. You could often be mistaken for believing a CG is no more than a Nappy or other tool for the little to explore their "littleness".

Post visit feelings

Let me tell you, the sadest part post a visit isn't just helping our charges transition, dealing with their emotions, that they are sad to go home.

Its also holding that for ourselves!

I have to do that whilst cleaning up the nursery, washing all the Baby clothes and bottles.

The sadest part for me us taking down the baby gate- on reflection its symbolic of my care and protection for my boys. And it breaks my heart every time!

Then comes the post visit loneliness, at this point your little is home, they tell you how much they enjoyed their visut- which is always wonderful to hear.

They will tell they have padded up and chilling.

And you are left to hold them and you! Which is great because they still need you; Daddy head space is on- but sometimes they are off out to be big with family, friends or lovers.

And in those moments the feeling of head space drop comes in- who are you when your little doesn't need you?

And if we allow that feeling to fester we can experience depression, anxiety and a host of other feelings we don't want to talk about!

CG mental health

Heres the thing, we often act like a Dom, and we often use terms like "true Dom", should be strong, self assured and have their life together.

Let me tell you as a Therapist this is beyond toxic and nothing more than Patriarchal style beliefs in manliness and masculinity- from the perspective of a Daddy atleast.

Its our capability and capacity for love that makes us a Dom or CG. We take on the children of others and love them like they were our own.

But that doesn't mean we are not susceptible to depression, mental health or a multitude of other issues.

We are not invulnerable!

We often deal with very real and very raw feelings!

Conclusion

I want you all to think the next time your CG asks/reminds you to follow a rule, one you probably asked for; to not view their request as nagging. But to see this an opportunity to help your CG with their feelings and headspace.

Because both the Littles and the CG headspace matters!

We could do with being a little more sensitive to each others feelings and headspace too!

[astrologyzodiacsigns]

Orcus Through the Houses (90482)

Orcus in the 1st House - The Guardian of Boundaries: With Orcus gracing your 1st house, you embody the archetype of the guardian of boundaries. Just as Orcus enforced the boundaries between the living and the dead, you are fiercely protective of your personal space and identity. You may have a strong sense of self-preservation and a need to define your individuality in clear terms. Embrace your role as the keeper of your own domain and set healthy boundaries to safeguard your well-being.

Orcus in the 2nd House - The Sentinel of Values: As Orcus patrols your 2nd house, you take on the role of the sentinel of values. Much like Orcus guarded the treasures of the underworld, you protect your resources and uphold your principles with unwavering determination. Your sense of self-worth is deeply rooted in your ability to defend what you hold dear, whether it be material possessions or core beliefs. Harness your innate strength to preserve what is truly valuable to you.

Orcus in the 3rd House - The Custodian of Communication: With Orcus stationed in your 3rd house, you become the custodian of communication. Just as Orcus facilitated communication between the realms, you serve as a mediator between different perspectives and ideas. Your words carry weight and authority, and you may find yourself drawn to roles that involve negotiation or diplomacy. Embrace your gift for bridging divides and fostering understanding through clear and honest communication.

Orcus in the 4th House - The Keeper of Ancestral Legacy: In the depths of your 4th house, Orcus stands as the keeper of ancestral legacy. Like Orcus, you are deeply connected to your roots and heritage, and you may feel a strong sense of responsibility towards your family lineage. Your home is your sanctuary, a place where you honor the traditions of the past while forging your own path forward. Embrace the wisdom of your ancestors and draw strength from the foundation they have laid for you.

Orcus in the 5th House - The Guardian of Creativity: With Orcus gracing your 5th house, you become the guardian of creativity. Like Orcus who watched over the creative forces of the underworld, you protect and nurture your artistic inspirations with fierce devotion. Your creative expression is infused with depth and intensity, reflecting the profound depths of your soul. Embrace your role as a steward of creative energy and allow your imagination to roam freely in the realms of possibility.

Orcus in the 6th House - The Sentinel of Service: In your 6th house, Orcus takes on the role of the sentinel of service. Like Orcus who enforced order and discipline in the underworld, you uphold a sense of duty and responsibility in your daily life. You take pride in your work and strive for excellence in all that you do. Your commitment to service is unwavering, and you may find fulfillment in roles that allow you to make a meaningful contribution to the well-being of others. Embrace your dedication to service and let it guide you towards a fulfilling sense of purpose.

Orcus in the 7th House - The Guardian of Relationships: With Orcus presiding over your 7th house, you become the guardian of relationships. Like Orcus who oversaw the bonds between the living and the dead, you are deeply invested in the dynamics of partnership and collaboration. Your relationships are marked by a sense of commitment and loyalty, and you may be drawn to individuals who share your values and ideals. Embrace your role as a protector of interpersonal harmony and strive to cultivate connections that withstand the test of time.

Orcus in the 8th House - The Keeper of Transformation: In the depths of your 8th house, Orcus serves as the keeper of transformation. Like Orcus who presided over the mysteries of the underworld, you are drawn to the depths of the human experience and the process of profound change. You may possess an innate understanding of the cycles of life, death, and rebirth, and you are unafraid to confront the darker aspects of existence. Embrace your ability to navigate the realms of the subconscious and harness the power of regeneration to facilitate your own personal growth.

Orcus in the 9th House - The Custodian of Wisdom: With Orcus illuminating your 9th house, you become the custodian of wisdom. Like Orcus who guarded the secrets of the underworld, you are drawn to the pursuit of knowledge and enlightenment. Your thirst for understanding takes you on a journey of exploration and discovery, spanning both physical and metaphysical realms. Embrace your role as a seeker of truth and allow your curiosity to lead you towards a deeper understanding of the mysteries of the universe.

Orcus in the 10th House - The Sentinel of Authority: In your 10th house, Orcus takes on the role of the sentinel of authority. Like Orcus who enforced order in the underworld, you wield a sense of power and responsibility in the public sphere. You may be drawn to roles that involve leadership or governance, and you take pride in your ability to uphold standards of integrity and accountability. Embrace your authority with humility and use it to effect positive change in the world around you.

Orcus in the 11th House - The Guardian of Community: With Orcus presiding over your 11th house, you become the guardian of community. Like Orcus who oversaw the spirits of the departed, you feel a deep connection to the collective consciousness of humanity. Your social circles are marked by a sense of camaraderie and mutual support, and you may be drawn to causes that promote the welfare of the greater good. Embrace your role as a steward of social progress and strive to build inclusive communities that honor the diversity of human experience.

Orcus in the 12th House - The Keeper of Mysteries: In the depths of your 12th house, Orcus serves as the keeper of mysteries. Like Orcus who presided over the shadowy realms of the underworld, you are drawn to the hidden dimensions of existence beyond the realm of ordinary perception. Your intuition is keen, and you possess a deep understanding of the workings of the subconscious mind. Embrace your connection to the unseen forces of the universe and allow yourself to explore the depths of your own psyche with courage and curiosity.

#orcus #astrology #zodiac signs #houses #astrology observations