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imaginesandsmut · 10 months

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So Good

Paring: Ethan Landry x fem reader

Summary: You and Ethan had hated each other since you too met, but when you're at a party dancing with a frat boy, Ethan takes it upon himself to show who you really belong to.

Warnings: Alcohol, smutty smut smut, and some fluff at the end.

Writers note: This was requested by @kianachampion and was definitely a great idea. Don't be shy to send fic ideas my way, ya'll. But anyways, enjoy xx

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You laughed whilst trying to steady your hand, the mascara wand shaking from your movements. The music in Tara’s bedroom was louder than any concert you have ever been to, pounding in your ears and causing you to go slightly deaf.

“Okay but I’m serious,” Tara yelled over the music, “if you don’t wear this skirt, I will kill you. You’ll look so good.”

You turned in your seat at Tara’s desk, turning to see her hold up the shortest skirt of your life. It was tiny, denim, pleated and with a chain dangling from one loop to another. It was cute but you didn’t know if you could pull it off, your ass would definitely be seen if you so much as lifted your arms.

“Please.” Tara tried her puppy dog eyes, pouting her lip in an effort to win you over. “I can’t be the only one wearing something slutty.”

“So you admit it’s too short!” You laugh at her attempt at playing cute.

“It is!” Tara walked over to her bottle of vodka and took a swig, swaying to the music. “But no one will care, it’s a frat party for god sake.”

You both were getting ready for the next rager at whatever Kappa Kappa Fi house it was at, most likely filled with the same people but during this exam season, everyone is looking to blow off some steam.

You could hear Mindy and Anika singing to the song through the walls, they were both in the living room preparing drinks for everybody. Chad and Ethan were somewhere in the apartment, probably hyping each other up by calling each other snacks and grunting.

You turned back to the mirror and inspected your makeup, satisfied with the results you got up and took the mini skirt from Tara’s hand. She clapped her hands dramatically with glee as you took off your sweatpants and replaced them with the skirt, suddenly feeling very cold.

“You look hot.” She pushed you towards the mirror to inspect yourself. The skirt looked nice, your legs looked nice too. You paired it with a graphic baby tee and your beat up tennis shoes.

“You look good too.” You turned to Tara and took the bottle from her, taking a swig as she smiled and twirled her short dress for you.

You enjoyed these moments with your best friend, just smiling and happy. You both met in your first class of University, you were nervous because you hadn’t made any friends in the city yet but the spot next to Tara was empty and you were feeling bold. She smiled at you when you sat down, you smiled back and it was the beginning of your friendship.

“Can you two hurry up now!” Mindy yelled from the kitchen, her voice much louder than the music.

You and Tara giggled at each other, both already buzzed from the few swigs of alcohol. You both left her room and joined the group in the living room, they were all drinking and laughing together. It was moments like this that made you really love your friends.

“What the hell are you wearing?”

Except for one.

Ethan was taking in your appearance, a red solo cup filled with whatever alcoholic slushie Anika has made for everyone. His outburst caused everyone to look at you, all of them looking you up and down.

“Damn, you’re hot.” Mindy

“Thank you, Mindy.” You send a scowl at Ethan, the boy sipping his drink with a crease between his eyebrows.

Ever since you became friends with Tara, you became friends with the rest of her friends. The only person you can’t get along with at all is Ethan, he annoys you to knew end and he lets you know that the feeling is mutual. Constantly bickering with each other and fighting over anything possible. Anything that he could make a snide remark about, he does.

“You’re gonna get cold.” Ethan’s voice was a mumble, like he was annoyed with your own choice of clothing.

“I’ll be fine.” You cross the room and grab a drink from Anika, downing it in one go. With just a few words, he managed to get on your nerves and fill you with a need to punch him in the face.

“I’m just saying that it’s just a frat party, not a fashion show.” Ethan continued his attack on you.

“Oh my god, It’s not like you have to wear it.” You turned to look at him, crossing your arms defensively.

“If you bend over everyone is gonna see your ass.”

"So what?" You ask, annoyed and confused as to why he would care.

"God why do you need to be so uptight about everything?" He takes a swig of his drink whilst still taking in your appearance. "You need to loosen up."

"I would if you weren't around."

“Okay!” Tara claps her hands loudly, shutting you both up. “Let’s go.”

The whole walk towards the frat party was filled with you and Tara laughing over something whilst Mindy rambles about the newest Stab movie. But all you could focus on was Ethan walking behind you, way too close behind you. He kept bumping into you from behind and not even apologising for it, just shrugging when you told him off. It wasn't long till you reached the party, pushing your way through the crowd and towards the drinks table, shaking Ethan off your tail.

"Go find some boring person to talk about movies with." You shout at him over the music as he tried following you through the crowd. It was annoying how much he fought with you yet still followed you around, an endless torture cycle.

"I'm just waiting for you to fall and show your ass to the entire party." He shouted back, his frame towering over you.

"God I don't care, just leave."

"I'm not leaving." Ethan looked around the party, obviously trying to find a place for you both to go so you could fight even more. "Let's go to the kitchen over there."

Before he could turn back to face you, you slipped away from his sight and hid behind a group of people. You watched Ethan turn back to where you were supposed to be, the wildy look around to find you. He gave up after a bit and huffed in annoyance, walking over to the kitchen and talking to Chad.

You walked over to another area of the house, hoping to be free of the ever irritating Ethan Landry. The pool table came into your sights and was loaded with bottles, ice and cans. You grabbed the first closed cap you could find and cracked it open, taking a swig and almost gagging at the taste.

“They’re not very good.” A voice behind you spoke, it was slurred but confident. You turned and took in the most stereotypical looking frat boy in your life, complete with the unbuttoned shirt and backwards cap.

Normally, you would wave boys like him off. But you were tipsy and looking to have some fun tonight, so you played into his trap.

“Then what do you recommend?” You put on your most charming smile for him, completed with a slight tip of your head.

“I would try this.” He beamed at you, reaching over and grabbing a bottle from the table. “It tastes like Fanta.”

You take the drink from him and take a sip, nodding your head at the taste. He take your approval with a grin, nodding his own head.

“I’m Luke.”

“I’m Y/N.”

“Do you wanna dance, Y/N?” Luke seemed nice and charming, and he wants to dance with you which gives you a big ego boost. “You look so good, I just have to ask.”

You take his hand and let him guide you to the dancefloor in the centre of the house, bodies upon bodies push up against each other in momentum to the song. Luke pulls you close to him, his hands on your hips and moving them with his own. You put your arms around his neck and pull him close, your faces close enough to feel his breath on your cheek.

You look around the room whilst dancing to see what everyone else is doing; Tara was talking to a girl from your classes, Chad was playing beer pong, and Mindy and Anika were already making out on the couch. You looked around subconsciously for Ethan, trying to find him through the crowd.

It was then that you caught his eyes, an ever present scowl across his features. Ethan was sitting on the nearest couch, someone was talking to him but all he could do was focus on you and how close you were to this random frat guy. The drink in his hand long forgotten, the red solo cup gradually getting squeezed harder and harder with every sway of your hips against the guy.

You don’t know what came over you, maybe it was the drinks in your system or the dark look Ethan was giving you, but you decided to put on a show. You turned around in Luke’s arms and pressed your back against his chest, moving your ass against his crotch. The infamous short skirt began riding up with every movement you were making, letting you get bolder and bolder.

You threw your head back and rested it on Luke’s shoulder, looking to the side to make eye contact with Ethan. You could see him shaking his head at you, obviously annoyed about something like he always is. He was leaning back on the couch, arms crossed against his chest, manspreading like owns the place.

Luke was gripping you harder, his breathing heavy as he groaned at your movement in your ear. You smiled to yourself for doing this to him, but you felt like it was all wrong, like he wasn't the person you wanted him to be.

“Can’t believe I haven’t seen you around before.” Luke’s voice was low, distracted by everything you’ve been doing.

You don’t reply, you felt mechanic against Luke, like his very touch made you feel wrong in every way. Your eyes kept drifting to Ethan, trying to peek at his reaction. The boy in question was now resting his elbows on his knees, bent over and giving every bit of his attention to what you were doing.

His jaw was tense, like he was going to crack a tooth from the pressure. His eyes were dark and focused, like nothing else in the world cared to him but watching you. The person next to him kept rambling on about whatever conversation they were previously on, but Ethan didn’t care.

Ethan didn’t know what was coming over him, it was like he was taken over by a force of anger and jealousy. Everytime he was with the group, you annoyed him to no end and he made sure you knew it. He never once thought of you in any way but the annoying girl in the group. But now, seeing you dance with another guy, all he wanted was to grab you and pull you onto the couch with him.

Luke’s lips attached themselves to your neck since you already had it stretched out trying to get a look at Ethan. His breath was hot and his lips felt weird on your skin, like he was trying too hard to make it sensual but it felt rushed and timid. You pretended to lean into it, like it was what you wanted.

That’s what set off Ethan.

He pushed himself off from the couch and made his way through the crowd, not even looking at the people he moved out of his way. You could feel him getting closer, like there was a pull he had on you and you could tell when he was away or too close.

A hand reached out and pulled you from Luke, earning a gasp from you and an annoyed yell from him. Ethan was gripping onto your arm like you were going to disappear, his eyes stared at you with disgust.

“Hey, what the fuck, man?” Luke threw his arms up, confused as to why someone would interrupt him.

“Don’t touch her.” Ethan stopped looking at you and turned his attention on the frat boy, yet his grip on your arm never ceased.

“Why? You her boyfriend or something?” Luke laughed, pushing Ethan’s chest.

“No, he’s not.” You tried to wiggle your arm out of Ethan’s hold but with every movement you made, his hold on you tightened. You’re sure that you’re gonna get bruises soon if he doesn’t let go.

Ethan sent daggers your way at your outburst, like it was anything far from the truth and he was surprised by it. Luke laughed at your reply and stepped closer to Ethan, challenging him.

“So what are you? Some sad friend that couldn't get any from her?” Luke’s voice was mean and his demeanour was scary, different from the charming way he was talking to you. It reminded you why you steer clear of guys like him at parties, and now Ethan’s hold was feeling a little more comforting.

Ethan didn’t say anything to Luke, instead he just turned to look at you. You looked back at him but you couldn’t describe the look in his eyes, like he had someone to tell you but couldn’t voice it.

“Let’s go.” His voice was small and quiet, but demanding.

“She’s not going anywhere.” Luke was looking at you expectantly, like he was waiting for you to shrug off Ethan.

You looked back at Ethan, he wasn't waiting for you to say anything, probably preparing to drag you away no matter what you said. You could feel some eyes on the three of you, watching to see what would happen. You turned to Luke and apologised before pushing on Ethan’s chest and taking him into the nearest private room.

You shut the door behind both of you, effectively shutting out the party and the music. You looked around the room, a small study with books lining the walls. It would be nice if you weren’t pissed off.

You looked at Ethan who could only look down at his feet, a wave of nervousness overtaking the confident facade he just had on.

“What is wrong with you tonight?” You tried to keep your voice down but the anger was bubbling over the surface.

Ethan didn’t even look at you, just shrugging his shoulders in response.

“You have been acting like a total dick all night, more than usual.” You continue, running your hands through your hair. “And now you’re being a dick to others, seriously? Why do you have to ruin everything good in my life?”

Still, no answer.

“Are you going to say something?”

It was a quick decision for Ethan, one that he's been wanting to do for ages but had only seemed to have gotten the courage to do it now. He made the few steps towards you, closing the gap and reaching up to cup your face, all before crashing his lips onto yours.

It was sudden, him pressing his lips onto yours. You wanted to fight, to push him away and tell him off. You wanted to tell him off for the whole night and all of his antics, but you stayed still and let him kiss you. It was hungry, feverish, like he was expecting you to push him away and he knew it was going to be the last time.

It wasn’t until you slipped your hands into his hair and pulled him closer that he finally relaxed, moaning into your mouth and pushing his body closer to yours. He backed you up against the door, pressing his hips to yours to cage you in.

You hated yourself for what you were doing, knowing that you might hate yourself in the morning. But right now, kissing Ethan, it was all you wanted.

“Couldn’t handle seeing you with that other guy.” He whispered against your lips, kissing you between almost every word.

You didn’t say anything, just wanting to live in this moment forever because you didn’t know how long it’ll last, he might start fighting with you as soon as you back away. You tugged on his curls, earning a groan from him and a thrust of his hips against yours. It was getting hotter and heavier every moment that your mouths were on each other, losing all thoughts of how much you were supposed to hate him.

“The only way I thought you’d look at me was if I was mean to you.” Ethan’s lips latched themselves onto your neck, sucking and biting every bit of skin he could get to. “But seeing you with him, I just wanted him to know that you’re mine.”

“Ethan.” It was like you were dumb, you couldn’t think of anything else but his mouth on your neck and his hands on your hips, gripping them as if you were going to run away.

“If you knew how much I wanted you, you would have ran away.” He was rambling, speaking to you as if you weren’t listening.

“I wanted you too.” Maybe it was the drinks or the dancing, but your tongue felt loose and you split every thought you had to him. “I did all of that for you.”

He couldn’t say anything else, too turned on by your words and your hands tugging on his hair. His hands moved down to your thighs, gripping the exposed skin and chuckling at how you were trying to stifle your moans. His hands trail upwards underneath the skirt and to your underwear, caressing your hips with his thumbs.

“This fucking skirt.” His mouth moved to hover just above yours, your neediness made it almost impossible to focus on his words. “I wanted to rip it off you the moment I saw it, tried blocking you from everyone on the street during the walk here.”

“Is that why you hate it?” You chuckled, caressing his cheeks and taking in how pretty he really was for the first time. “Because you love it so much?”

“I wanted to take you back into Tara’s room and show you a reason why you shouldn’t wear it.” His eyes were laser focused on you, you were almost scared to look away. “Now I guess I’ll have to show you here.”

“What do you mean?”

Before any more words could leave your mouth, Ethan’s thigh wedged its way between your legs, the rough material of his jeans pressing against the flimsy fabric of your thin underwear. Your moan caught you by surprise, Ethan grinned wildly at it and was determined to hear more,

“Want you to get off on my leg.” His voice was low and hesitant, like he was waiting to see how you would react to him being demanding with you when you would normally tell him off. But all you could do was nod and start grinding on his thigh, the jean material rubbing against your clit and causing you to go a little hazy.

Ethan was much taller than you so his thigh between your legs caused you to stand practically on your tippy toes, the only anchor you had was his shoulders. You nails dug into his skin through the fabric of his shirt, using them to help you drag your pussy over his thigh. The sensation was making you desperate, you could feel him flexing his thigh every time you moved your hips forward, making then feeling on your clit so much better.

“If only the group could see how needy you are for me.” Ethan’s hands were on your jaw, holding your head up so he could see your face properly, grinning to himself at how your face scrunches up every time your clit feels a particularly good part of his thigh. “They would be so surprised to know that all that hate you had for me was just masking your true feelings.”

“What feelings are those?” Your voice was breathy and almost silent, you had never felt like this before.

“The feeling of wanting to fuck me, wanting me to fuck you.” Ethan’s lips ghosted your cheeks, kissing them after every moan you tried to silence. “If only you told me earlier, baby, that you wanted me. I would have helped you out, I will do anything for you.”

You don’t know why but those words spurred you on, causing you to pick up your pace and grind yourself on his thigh faster. Ethan could see you needed help and placed his hands on your hips, ready to help you. But before he did anything, he stopped you, much to your dismay as you let him know with a needy whine.

“Tell me you want me.” His voice was no longer cute and joking, he was serious.

“Ethan.” You whined and tried to move your hips again, but his hold on you was too strong and bruising.

“Tell me that you’re mine.”

You looked at him, his eyes dark and tough. As much as you two bickered and fought, he had never looked at you like this, it scared you a little. But the way he was holding you, the words he was speaking, it was all so hypnotic that all you could do was follow his instructions.

“I’m yours, Ethan.” It scared you more that you knew you meant it, you had known it for a long time but this was the first time admitting it. “I have always been. Now please, make me feel good.”

The last part was what got Ethan, the desperation in your voice and the way your hands clung to his hair like he was all you needed in the world, it felt him with a sense of pride. His hands started moving your hips for you, helping you drag yourself over his thigh. It was all so delicious, the feeling of your own lace underwear and his rough denim on your sensitive clit, the groans he was letting go in your ear, his lips on your shoulder blade.

“You look so good, baby.”

You smiled at the compliment, biting your lip as your eyes closed. The sight made Ethan almost cum there, how happy and hot you looked riding his thigh. He could look at your face all day.

Then, Ethan picked up his pace, dragging your hips over him with a new found speed, added to the sensation of him flexing and bouncing his knee to stimulate your pussy even more. One of his hands left your hip and went under your top and bra, groping your boob and tugging your nipple.

It was all too much; the feeling of him on your clit, his cold fingers pinching your nipples and his mouth sucking hickies on your neck. You swore that if you had any thoughts apart from you and him, you would be embarrassed that the party was hearing how loud your moans were.

Ethan could tell you were getting closer from the tugging on his hair to the stuttered motion of your hips, you were starting to lose all control. Ethan crashed his lips back onto yours, pushing his tongue into your mouth in a messy show of dominance, wanting you to know who was making you feel this good.

“Come on, baby.” His breath was hot against your lips, and you couldn’t wait till he kissed you again. “I know you’re close.”

“Mhmm.” All you could to was whine, the feeling within you getting tighter and tighter the long you grinded on him. It wasn’t until Ethan took his hand from your hip and dipped it into your underwear, rubbing your clit in lazy circles and you feverishly thrusted against him

“Good girl.” He almost laughed at how whiney you were, so different to how mean you are to him in front of your friends. “Let go for me, let everyone know who’s making you feel good, yeah?”

The band within you snapped and you came with a cry on Ethan’s thigh and fingers, their own assault on you never ceasing and he continued to rub your clit and help you move your hips on him, allowing your orgasm to drag out.

He took in your face, so blissed out in ecstasy, he kissed you hard. You smiled into the kiss, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him closer, not wanting the moment to end. You were scared about what was going to happen when you got off his thigh and left the room; would you two go back to fighting as usual or did this spark some change within him.

“Come back to my dorm?” Ethan’s tone was now nervous and unsure, and yet his demeanour remind confident. “I wanna see you in my bed, naked. Be away from the crowd so you can chant my name.”

Ethan watched your face, waiting for you to say something, anything. He was nervous too that you were going to push him away and act like this was a one time thing, he wanted it to be more, for both of you to be more. Fighting with you was the only way he was able to get your full attention, and so he did it because he had no other choice. But now, knowing that you like him back, he wanted you to be his.

“Okay.” You looked up at him and touched his lip with your thumb, a soft gesture but it caused him to melt.

“Yeah?’ His smile was contagious, causing you to grin yourself.

“Yeah.”

#ethan landry smut #ethan landry #scream #scream 6 smut #scream 6 #tara carpenter #chad meeks martin #mindy meeks martin #scream imagine

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randomheadcanons1234 · 3 months

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Random Hermitcraft headcanons ( that I will not elaborate)

No one knows what Wels is, they just know that he’s not human

Scar can understand cats even though, he isn’t a cat hybrid

Beef is the one hermit, who Doesn’t seem scary but scares the other Hermits more than anyone else.

Joe is not mortal. Gods are scared of him

Xisuma has the highest kill count. He is terrible at self care.

Grian can shapeshift, his skins are actually his body. His sweater is a part of his body.

Mumbo eats redstone

Doc has a soft spot for kids and small animals.

Ren eaten stones before, as well as other inedible things.

Xb likes to hide in small spaces, he is also the best hider on the server.

Gem is the best fighter and used to be a professional fighter.

Pearl has the most muscle mass and the champion in leg and armwrestling

False used to be a survival expert

Cleo is the human embodiment of girl boss

Stress is a walking lie detector

Etho mostly uses dad jokes just to annoy people

Bdubs has once slept for 20 hours, he went back to sleep when it got dark.

Skizz and impulse always know what the other needs

Joel says things that seem gay but is 100% straight he also drinks his coffee with a unholy amount of sugar

Cub has eaten human flesh before

Hypno is a god

Jevin is blue because he drank to much blue slushy

Iskalls robotic parts are toy robots pieced together

Keralis knows just about everybody, he has gotten other hermits out of lots trouble thanks to this

Tango is a fire spirit, he has his human form, from a cartoon that he saw

Zedaph is the most impulsive hermit by far

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mellowmadds · 1 year

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Taste Testing | Ethan Landry

Ethan Landry/Reader

Summary: slushies and sleepovers don’t mix

Warnings: slight cussing

Word Count: 707

pure fluff (no description of reader so everybody can enjoy!)

..••°°°°••.. °°••....••°°

Sleepovers at the Carpenter house seemed to turn into a weekly thing. However, getting to spend any alone time with your boyfriend felt more like a challenge due to the core four always sticking together. Instead of getting to the Carpenter’s apartment on time Ethan took it upon himself to plan a small date before the scheduled weekly sleepover.

“Red is cherry flavored and blue is raspberry” Ethan read out loud while he stared too intently at the menu above the ice cream counter.

“Are we sure we want slushies instead of ice cream?” you asked while focusing on all of the delicious looking homemade ice cream. Ethan laughed while thinking back to the conversation you guys had earlier that same day.

“You were literally googling to see if any places nearby sold slushies while we were walking back from econ.” he stated before ordering two slushies one red and one blue. You thanked the lady behind the counter while putting some cash into the tip jar while Ethan paid over at the register. You guys walked out of the small ice cream parlor and down the street to the local park where you finished up the slushies and talked about your upcoming assignments in econ.

“Where the hell were you guys we’ve been waiting to start the movie” Tara exclaimed while throwing her hands up in the air pretending to be mad despite the huge smile on her face. As you and Ethan sat in your usual spot on the couch Mindy couldn’t help but notice the slight change in color on both of your lips.

“Why the fuck are your lips purple y/n?” Mindy laughed as she took a sip of her drink.

“Purple? What do you mean?” You asked confused before taking out your phone and opening the camera app.

“Jeez so are yours” Anika said pointing over towards Ethan.

“Pur- wait me too?” Ethan asked before leaning over looking into your small phone camera.

“What kind of weird ass food did you two eat?” Chad laughed while walking into the living room with a bowl of popcorn.

“Nothing weird just slushies” You said, handing your phone over to Ethan who was trying to scrub the purple color off his lips.

“Purple slushies? I didn’t know they made grape flavored slushies” Sam entered the conversation clearly intrigued by what was being said in the other room before placing two boxes of pizza on the coffee table.

“I had the blue one though which was raspberry flavor” You said clearly confused.

“And I had the red one” Ethan chimed back into the conversation before placing your phone back in your backpack.

“What? That doesn’t make any sense” Anika said while grabbing a slice of pizza.

“Oh my god” Mindy said while trying to hold in her laughter.

“Y/n what did you and Ethan do today?” Sam asked, smirking while looking between the both of you.

“We went to the park and then we came here” You said, still clearly confused as to why the core four were so invested in this conversation.

“And what did you do at the park?” Tara spoke once again smiling as she thought to herself just how clueless you two could be.

“We drank our slushies?” Ethan stated but it came out sounding more like a question.

“And then?” Sam asked, laughing before finally sitting down and grabbing herself a slice of pizza. As you come to realize why your lips are actually purple you turned to Ethan giving him an embarrassing look.

“Do you think that’s why our lips are purple?” He whispered before turning to look back at the group.

“Okay now show us what color your tongues are” Chad laughed while throwing popcorn at the two of you.

“Shut up” You said before jokingly sticking your tongue out at Chad. While everyone laughed Tara threw her arms in the air once again before yelling at everyone to be quiet so that she could finally start playing the movie. The rest of the night was filled with laughter and this specific night would later turn into a core memory for the two of you to always look back on and get a good laugh out of.

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mediumgayitalian · 3 months

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previous chapter

———

“Take the exit here.”

“How come?” Nico asks, dutifully putting on his blinker and merging into the right lane. “We’re not even at half tank.”

Will clears his throat, shifting uncomfortably. “It’s, uh, not for gas.”

A pause.

“Oh, Solace, you’re fucking kidding me.”

“I’m sorry!”

Nico throws his hands up, ignoring Will’s screech of both hands on the wheel, I value my life! “There is no possible way you have to piss already. You had half a slushie!”

“...Well.”

“William Andrew Solace, I swear to God.”

“I got distracted!” Will cries, eyes big and round as he pouts. “The Abstract Iron Centaur is a monument, okay, I forgot what the point of the rest stop was for.”

Nico groans. “I’m not sure you should be allowed to go to medical school. You’re going to forget a scalpel in someone’s lungs, or something.”

Immediately, he knows this is the wrong thing to say. The sheepish grin vanishes off Will’s face, replaced with something despairing, before it’s hastily shoved back on.

The winding road finally gives way to the advertised rest stop, partially obscured by a Welcome to Georgia sign with a modernist-style image of a peach that annoys him for no reason. We’re glad Georgia’s on your mind. (False. Georgia is never on his mind, except for how Will can’t say Georgia without slipping into his accent and Nico has to take that golden opportunity to mock him. And then die.)

“Right,” Will says finally. He forces a laugh. He opens his mouth like he’s going to say something else, then gets out of the car without so much as a word.

Nico watches him go.

“Well,” he mutters to himself. “Shit.”

He waits in the car as long as he physically can, which is anything between thirty seconds and four business days. A glance at his watch informs him it’s closer to two minutes.

He kicks a stone across the parking lot, debating the implications of searching for his friend. It hasn’t really been that long, so he’s not sure it’s socially appropriate, and then he wonders when the hell he started caring about being socially appropriate. They are friends, after all, because in a group icebreaker question about siblings in seventh grade, Nico had growled none, on the account that she was killed by a drunk driver when I was ten and Will had laughed, brightly and morbidly, and said hey, my brothers were murdered, too! Twinsies! and killed the vibe rather brilliantly for literally everybody else in the room.

He gives into his impulse eventually, striding onto the surprisingly soft grass and looking, halfheartedly, around the spacious grounds (he’d decided searching the bathroom would be a touch too far). His mission gets sidetracked, however, because the heat is less oppressive under the shade of tall, weeping willows, and there’s a small breeze, and he is struggling to shove his various musings into the Repression Box where they belong.

Will, starts one of said musings, has been acting weird as shit long before he showed up at his house in the middle of the night.

It had started around January? If he had to guess. But Will is always kind of weird in the winter, so he hadn’t thought much of it, just offered to break into his house more often so he didn’t feel too suffocated. The usual. But the strangeness had persisted through the spring – the sudden drops in mood, the hair-triggers to clam him up. Both of which are usually a Nico thing. Will, more often, just shoves all his negative emotions down to the bottom of his soul until he gets one half-mark wrong on a test and sobs himself sick about being useless while Nico stands guard outside the bathroom door, agonised, unsure how to help. And then the two of them never talk about it again.

Over the last few months, things have been a little less balanced.

“Hey.”

Nico jumps. Will stands slightly, shoulders still hunched slightly, but definitely less cagey than earlier. He holds out a cup of coffee Nico recognises as from a vending machine.

“Hi,” Nico says softly, smiling tentatively. He takes the coffee. It’s black, and too hot, just how he likes it.

“You are going to stain your teeth,” Will observes, as he always does.

“Bite me,” Nico responds, following the script.

A genuine smile pulls at his face.

“You ready to get back on the road?”

“Yep.”

They fall into step in their hike back to the Jeep – Nico hiked farther than he meant to. Will’s flip-flops slapping rhythmically against the packed dirt of the trail is a familiar sound, and it eases some of his own tension, putting a bit more prep in his step. When he glances quickly over, Will is breathing normally, shoulders slack, much calmer expression on his face.

“You should let me drive,” he says as they approach. “You’ve been behind the wheel since practically dawn; maybe you should take a nap or something.”

Nico shakes his head, waving a dismissive arm. Frowning slightly, Will acquiesces, climbing back into the passenger side.

“I’ve had two coffees and half a slushie,” he explains, resting his hand on the back of Will’s seat. He cranes his neck behind him, careful of the family walking an unleashed dog as he pulls out. “I’m good forever.”

“Caffeine doesn’t work on you,” Will points out.

Nico pauses.

“...True.”

He hadn’t realise Will had noticed, actually. Although he supposes it’s not too surprising – Will has known him a long time, Will is observant, and Will generally enjoys lecturing people about anything he can get away with, up to and including their general health and safety. Nico, in all his bad choices, is a favourite target of his. He can probably recite his solo midnight speed driving from memory.

“It’s just –” Will stops, waiting until Nico’s safely merged back on the highway before continuing. “It’s three and a half hours ‘till we get to Atlanta, Neeks, and it’s already three-thirty. We’ll have to stop again for food, probably, at one point, and we’ll have to stop for food, soon, and who knows what the traffic will be like –”

Carefully passing the person going sixty in front of him, finally breaking into open road, Nico takes half an eye off the road and digs through the centre console.

“– I mean, if it’s bumper to bumper, then what? It’ll be rush hour soon, shit, I shoulda planned for that, shit, do we have a jerrycan? We should have a jerrycan, remind me to get a jerrycan for the trunk –”

Finally catching sight of the CD he’s looking for (and barely managing to swerve and avoid a massive pothole that would have for sure cut their trip short, but he managed, so take that, Reckless Driving Lecture Will that lives in his brain, who’s God now), he hands it to Will. Still actively stressing about literally nothing, he opens it, polishing the disc on habit and sliding it into the slot without so much as pausing.

Nico smirks.

Yeah, maybe he knows his friend, too.

“– I mean, just blankets and a first aid kit is not enough. Really, we should have some provisions in there. Oh, and rope, ‘cause what if we get stranded in the mountains –”

The radio clicks as it reads the disc, then, suddenly and without warning, the stereo rumbles with heavy bass and pounding beat.

Will cuts himself off. “Hey, is this –”

Nico smirks wider. He chances another look away from the road, just in time to watch a magnificent smile break across Will’s face, wide and a little crooked, showing all his molars – a real one, the one he gets when he’s caught off-guard, the one that makes his hands fluttery.

“You’re playing In The Zone!” he exclaims, laughing delightedly. “Without complaining!”

Bingo, Nico thinks.

“Technically, I didn’t play shit.” He gestures at the empty CD case in Will’s hand. “You’re just like a hermit crab. I hand you things, you hold them.”

“Shut up.” But there’s no bite to the command, smile still stretching wide. If Nico looks, he can see the tiny snag of his barely crooked front tooth, but he doesn’t look, because he doesn’t care about that, obviously. He has his eyes on the road and both hands on the wheel, fully focused.

Obviously.

They do get into disgusting traffic. Will is distressed about it, up until someone cuts them off so closely they both nearly actually and genuinely die, and he is immediately lit up in a rage so incandescent Nico wonders if he will ever be able to look away from straining biceps and a clenched jaw ever again. More distantly, he wonders if and I hope you get three consecutive aneurysms and your family leaves you to fucking rot in a hospital bed, you leprous shitdick will be on loop in his head for the rest of time. He kind of wants to put it on a shirt. Will’s linguistic talents should be studied.

“Stop thinking about it,” Will demands, socking him (hard! What the shit!) in the shoulder. His face resembles, quite exactly, the shade of the setting sun. “Purge it from your memory.”

“No idea what you’re talking about,” Nico responds, smirking.

“I wasn’t –” A pause. Nico bites back a snort. “Cutting people off is just so rude.”

“Oh, of course.”

“I mean! I mean.”

“Indeed.”

“If it was – an ambulance, or something, I would understand, but he cut us off just to get immediately stuck in the same traffic! I don’t understand the point!”

“Truly the behaviour of a leprous shitdick,” Nico agrees. His grin starts to genuinely hurt his face, but he ignores it in favour of snickering.

Will sinks into his seat, pulling his hoodie over his eyes. His ears, as usual, stick out a little, and they’re red, too. Nico nobly resists the urge to flick them.

“I hate you.”

“I think you’re quite attached to me, actually. After all, I’m not a –”

“If I hear the word leprous come from your mouth one more fucking time, di Angelo, I’ll give you leprosy. For real. I’ll find it.”

Will probably could find a vial of pure leprosy somewhere, actually, so Nico shuts up. (He’s seen Will’s weird vial collection. Most of it is just, like, various bacteria, he’s pretty sure, but Will is kind of morbid and Nico knows his sense of humour is garbage because Nico’s sense of humour is garbage, and there is a reason they’re friends, and if Nico found a vial of leprosy somewhere he would keep it, too. Can leprosy be vialed? Who knows. Will, probably.)

Once he’s sure Nico is not going to tease him anymore about his temper tantrum, or at least for the moment, he turns back to his book. Every so often, he looks up, observes the three miles per hour they’re crawling, and sighs, loudly and lengthy to himself, muttering something about railway systems and zoning laws and government incompetence. Nico doesn’t ask. He was free from the jail that was history and geography lessons last month. He is determined to learn absolutely nothing for the next six months, at least.

“I’m paying for the motel or hotel or inn et cetera,” Will says, randomly.

“No,” Nico replies, easily.

Will reaches out, calmly, and pinches him on the thigh. Nico does not yelp indignantly because he is a Man, and can handle Will’s weirdly pointy fingers.

“You paid for gas.”

“Yep.”

“And you have car payments.”

“Mhm.”

“And you bought Dunkin’s.”

“True.”

“Nico,” Will says exasperatedly, “this whole damn trip was my idea. Let me pay for shit.”

“I enjoy wasting my father’s money,” Nico counters, and Will pauses, considering. “Come on, commie. I know the idea of spending a banker’s money on stupid shit pleases you.”

He knows he’s starting to win, because Will sighs in a very particular way that Nico has identified as why am I letting this dumbass get away with this again, says, “Spending money is capitalist, Nico,” and turns, begrudgingly, back to his book.

Poorly hidden behind the pages, he’s smiling.

Nico tallies his victory.

The traffic finally eases by around eight o’clock. Victorious, surely, except that they’re still quite a ways from Atlanta. He considers getting off at one of the various exits promising shelter, and in fact decides he is going to, but for some reason, his hand never drifts to his blinker. Never turns the wheel slightly to merge, never eases off the gas. He keeps going, an going, and going, music playing softly, stars beginning to shine through the darkening sky.

Beside him, Will lets out tiny puffs as he exhales, even and sluggish.

“You are a grandmother,” he whispers fondly, shaking his head. In the quiet of the road, interrupted only by the whipping whipping winds – he should have pulled the roof back up when they were stuck, shit – and odd flash of headlights of a passing car, he lets himself soften, sighing back against his seat and easing up slightly on the gas.

Will glows, faintly, in the moonlight.

It’s funny, ‘cause he’s a sun child. Nico has teased him about it for years, in fact; his hair, his bright blue eyes, his stubborn clinging to his aesthetic of wannabe surfer boy. The gold ring he wears on his thumb, the sun pendant that rests on his heart. Swathed in yellows and blues and golds, all the time, with a sprinkling of bright green and neon orange just to remind everyone that yes, he is red green colourblind, and no, that will not stop him from making fashion choices.

But the silver suits him. It softens him, instead of washing him out, reminding Nico that the sun shines white. The low light casts gentle shadows on his face, too, drawing attention to his strong brow and straight nose.

Forcing his eyes back on the road, where they should have been the whole time, Jesus, he notices the giant green Downtown Atlanta sign, and follows its arrows. The first exit he sees, he turns, getting lost three times before he finds the hotel that was advertised.

Pulling into the largely empty parking lot, he shuts off the car, then turns to Will, screwing up his face. He has to wake him up, at some point. Obviously. Unfortunately he cannot simply melt into the shadows and reappear in a hotel room. As awesome as that would be, with his luck, he’d pop into an occupied one, and that’d be a whole host of problems.

Deciding he’ll actually get them a room first, he heads inside, speaking quietly with the desk host.

“Single or double?” they ask pleasantly, voice similarly lowered for the hour.

“Uh,” Nico says, “double?”

The host pauses, eyebrows flicking up at his hesitation. “...Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Nico flushes. He adds, belatedly, “Please.”

Eyebrow raised in amusement, the host reaches into a drawer and pulls out two sleek key cards, tucking them into a little envelope thing and handing them over. “Room 409,” they say, nodding towards the elevator.

“Thanks,” Nico responds, and walks out the door. He realises, as he exits, how much of a general failure he is at communicating with people who are not Will, and considers climbing through the window of his sixth floor room out of sheer embarrassment. The realization that he does not have the skill to drag Will up there with him is the only thing that stops him.

“Sunshine,” he murmurs, once he’s gathered their bags and some of the red has faded from his face, “we’re here.”

Will hums a little, voice gravelly. Nico’s lip quirk up.

“Where?”

“Somewhere to sleep.”

“‘M sleepin’ jus’ fine.”

His accent is so, so heavy with sleep, and it’s just – God, he wishes Wil hadn’t trained himself out of it. In Nico’s professional opinion, Will should talk like that all the time.

Authenticity, and all that.

“C’mon, Will.”

After another minute of coaxing – which Nico indulges purely because he knows for a fact Solace will have no memory of it in the morning, in any other circumstance he’d poke him awake – Will uncurls enough to stagger to his feet, stumbling as he gets out of the vehicle. For his own safety, Nico wraps an arm around his narrow hips, guiding him up to the room.

“Mnhgh,” he mumbles, the second the heavy door closes behind them. He walks two steps to the nearest bed, face plants in the middle of it, and starts snoring, feet hanging off the end, one flip-flip still stubbornly clinging to his foot.

“Dork,” Nico murmurs. He gets ready like a normal person, tugging on a sleep shirt – might be an old one of Will’s, actually, because Nico certainly never bought a Shania Twain concert t-shirt – and wrapping up in the wonderfully plush blankets. “Goodnight, Will.”

He gets a snore in response. He burrows deeper into the covers, smiling, drifting off to the sound of his best friend’s rhythmic breathing.

———

next chapter

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morganbritton132 · 1 year

Note

I love the series and everything about it is *chefs kiss*

The broke ankle tags made me laugh so much and honestly the idea of Steve just being such a tank that he doesn’t even realize he’s seriously injured himself is so canon.

Can’t wait for the corresponding compilation toks of Steve just doing everything you aren’t supposed to do with a broken ankle.

Also since we all obviously are obsessed with bitchy Steve I need bitchy Steve coming out of anesthesia or something similar. Just not even a bit aware but confident as hell that he is not wrong.

I appreciate you and thank you so much for this series! It’s my favorite part of the day ❤️

Thank you!!!!! This is so good, but I am going to leave Steve on anesthesia for another time because I got a different ask that mentions it and I’m going to focus on Steve completely disregarding everything the doctors told him.

To be fair though, Steve was not listening.

They’d already given painkillers by the time they started explaining things and frankly, it was boring. Steve was a high school athlete and a teenaged monster hunter. He’s had his fair share of injuries. He’s sprained his ankle before and this isn’t much different. Same arena, different game. It’s like how the ice rink is used for hockey and figure skating.

“It’s not like that at all,” Eddie tells him after painstakingly carrying Steve into the house (something that was much easier to do when they were in their twenties) and into their bedroom. He elevates Steve’s foot. He gets his water and a snack, and an extra blanket so he has no reason to get up, and he finds Steve in the kitchen the next morning. Standing on his injured ankle.

Eddie films him – mainly to send to Robin but also to prove once and for all that Steve is not the sensible one. He starts with Steve’s messy bedhead and goes down his body, pass his Scooby Doo pajama pants to Steve’s bandaged ankle. He’s got an ice pack rested against it so there’s that.

Eddie doesn’t say anything like he’s at a lose for words and then just, “Why?”

For everybody following Eddie’s page, you get to see him become visibly more and more stressed every time he posts something. He posts a video of Steve on the way to see if he needs surgery and Steve is explaining his hockey metaphor again. He also says, “It’s probably just a sprain. It feels like one. What do they know anyways?”

“What do the doctors know?” Eddie asks. “Lucas was the one that said it was broken.”

“Lucas once forgot that bowls exist, Eddie.”

He posts a complication later that day because Steve is definitely going to have to have surgery because he definitely broke his ankle. Steve is doing his absolute most to be doing anything while still technically following the rules.

The doctor said ice, elevate, and rest.

In Eddie’s compilation, Steve is vacuuming but he’s laying on the floor with his feet propped up on the couch so it’s still technically elevated. Steve ices his ankle with a slushie he produced out of thin air in the time it took Eddie to check the mail. He swears he never got up.

Steve nearly falls on his ass using crutches, alternating between the bedroom and the living room so he can ‘rest.’ Eddie takes Ozzy out and finds Steve cooking, but he’s got his ankle resting on the counter (Steve is not that flexible, this one hurt him).

The compilation ends with Ozzy getting fed up with both of them and laying on Steve so he can’t move.

#Steve could and has spent all day on the couch but the moment he is told he is supposed to he can’t. he’ll go insane just sitting there #steve harrington #eddie munson #eddie munson tiktok saga

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alittlebirb · 2 years

Text

Some silly swears from the MCC 23 Purple Pandas!

Phil dressing up as a cat boy in Minecraft and real life

FOR SOME REASON, Joel keeping the alerts where his character is doing unholy things onscreen every time something happens

Philza finding the dogs before the event starts in an attempt to beat Wilbur's record on dog pets

Joel being baffled at the floaty and snorkel on his skin and Gee assuring him it's fine if he can't swim, this is a judgement free zone!

Joel putting Jimmy on blast before his team for not using a mouse pad while playing

Philza then recounting how he used to use a cardboard folder for a mouse pad

"SG is either really good, or just terrible." -Joel, explaining the duality of life

Sapnap threatening them that if they go middle in SG, he will kill them, and Gumi telling them to say hi to their wife

"Which wife? Because I'm married as well..." -Joel, fellow wife haver

Lizzie putting in Joel's chat she's upset Gumi doesn't talk to her

"Say hi to your wives, that would be more polite." -Joel

Lizzie also showing up in the call in order to clarify she is not sad, she loves Gumi, and Joel apologizing for implying she was sad

"Keep 40 MCC participants in a cage without music and see what happens." -Pete, beginning to lose it

Gee and Joel discussing their deep knowledge of the Monsters Inc. universe

Joel naming his duck floaty 'Jeremy'

Phil agonizing over whether to send the meme <YOU ARE LIKE PAPA> in the chat for a solid minute

Gee talking about how she just starts shaking when the games start and Pete telling her "yeah that doesn't change"

Gee ghosting for her team after dying and saying "there's a little party if you wanna join!"

Gee calling her death "a tactic" you see, tactical

Joel skin swapping with Scar and Pete becoming Foolish

Phil analyzing the the angle of the blocks before AR starts and concluding it is possible to fly through a small gap in the map

Pete having an absolute blast playing this map with the new mechanics

Conversely, Pete having an absolute time of it with the moving walls

"Each lap that I did, I got caught on a moving wall." -Pete

Gee saying in the softest voice, "aww I love the turtle heads!"

Philza finding skips after they finish AR and everybody saying they'll have to watch his vod now

Pete throwing his chicken within the glass tube and then just staring at Phil

"Could you please move your head next time?" -Pete

The dome choosing GR anyway and Phil telling Pete it was intentional, it was to keep him on his toes!

"All in middle, nice and cozy!" -Gee

Joel trying to get the chest on top of the stone pyramid room and Pete just yelling "YO, RIGHT CLICK!"

Pete doing an amazing job of directing Gee in the sewer room

Gee having a breakdown about how the last room was "the worst thing in my entire life, this was meant to be my comeback!"

Gee agonizing over GR and Joel telling her "good vibes only!", and Pete reassuring "there's plenty of time to fall into the void in Sky Battle."

"We were doing so good at the start, and then we pooed the bed, so to speak." -Joel

Phil chugging a series of slushies for good luck, "specifically blue and red to make purple in my tummy."

"I like Big BuildMart." -Joel

Two people hitting their chickens inside the glass this time, and Phil getting subsequently ragged on for having a huge head

"I've only played Sky Battle once, and last time I made a shovel." -Gee

Pete and Joel popping off in SB, winning a round and getting to first place!

Pete falling into the void 5 seconds into the next round

"I'm gonna fill my sippy cup up during the break." -Joel

"This is what they mean when they say drink responsibly." -Pete

Philza being unable to pronounce Rocket Spleef Rush when telling the chat to vote for it, and Pete telling him "God, you're so good at convincing people."

Joel complaining he's tied with Dream on the leaderboard, but Dream is shown to be ahead because of "subscriber bias"

Pete taking them to one of his favorite PKT spots

Philza noticing all the CCTV cameras on the map for the first time

"I think Dream just set the record for the fastest hunt." -Joel, after Dream insta-kills their team

Phil trying to big brain predict the runner's path while hunting, preemptively jumping down, and realizing that the runner did NOT jump down and he is now far out of reach

Pete watching SB and Sneeg on the opposite team and just saying "Fellas, this one is a little tough!"

Phil admitting that the literal only reason he'd be sad to miss TGTTOS is because of Terra Swoop Force

Joel talking about how last time he played RSR, a block exploded under him and he got 40th place, and Pete stealing that and saying that's what happened to him in SB

"Man, these blocks just explode by themselves these days..." -Phil

Phil winning the second RSR round by just flying off into the distance while Jojo tries to shoot him

"My planet needs me." -Phil

Everyone's jaws dropping at False just ending Dream's whole career in the last round of RSR

"MCC really does humble me, you know." -Gee

Gee saying Sylvee is still Top 10 in her heart <3

Phil poorly acting disappointed at TGTTOS being played instead of BM, and then giving up and just clapping his hands excitedly

"We go zoomies with the block placement, we go *a series of littol sounds*" -Phil

Pete going on a rant through gritted teeth about how annoying it is for someone to place a block inside his block

Joel and Phil dying at the same time in shallow lava and and screaming "NO!" at the same time

"Sorry Kara." -Joel

"Are you really sorry, though?" -Gee

"No, not really." -Joel

Phil, for some reason, doing a mini scene on the toilet of a catboy going to the bathroom while waiting for the decision dome

Phil looking at all of the melted ice on the floor in MD and asking who's gonna clean that

"C'mon Scar, hawkeye him!" -Joel

Everyone rioting at the Captain getting 3rd

Joel calling Martyn "the longest loser since Captain Sparklez."

Gee saying she'll have nightmares over the orange block in GR, and Phil saying it's FINE, inflation means it's worth pennies now!

Pete bringing them to his special perspective spot for DB

Wilbur and Phil warring over which team they're supporting

Phil telling Wilbur <You are such a big brother it's painful>

Zeuz winning a 1v3 and Pete just saying because it had to be said, "that was- kinda hot when he did that- just saying-"

Joel agreeing to give a massive "FUCK YES!" if Orange wins

"FUCK YES!" -Joel

Marty becoming the Covid King

Purple Pandas finished MCC 23 in 4th place!

#mcc #mcc 23 #philza #smallishbeans #petezahhutt #geenelly #birb's mcc recaps #that dodgebolt was the most intense thing I've felt since Grian's #my streamer swore!! <3 #this was such a fun team their dynamic was hilarious #i hope everyone had a fun time this mcc!

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avaelangel · 5 months

Text

Convenience store

LiMoreau blurb, yet again. I guess, all of those shorts about convenience stores in different countries got to me. I also want a friend like Jordan to take me on snack runs.

Marie's V-phone buzzed and buzzed again. It took a few more times for her to wake up. Even though Emma was her friend, probably the best, Marie still rose in one swift move, frantically searching for her phone to shut it up. Everybody deserves sleep, she knew that very well.

Wake up.

MARIE I DON'T KNOW YOUR MIDDLE NAME MOREAU.

Please?

She sighed with relief. It's Jordan. They are fucking around, so it's not life or death situation in the literal way.

It's Maria.

''Really?!'' Jordan exclaimed from the outside of the girls dorm room.

Marie only could shake in silent laughter, before getting up to open the door.

''No,'' she let out a delicios yawn.

Right out of bed, Marie stabbed them with a joke. Awful and horrbile, but the more times it happened, the less strength Jordan had to remain neutral in reaction. So the moment they saw their girlfriend, Jordan smiled.

''Come with me,'' they jingled their car keys, ''We are going for snacks. It's a kidnapping. Snack-napping.'' Not good. They could do better.

''Stop,'' Marie took their keys in one swift move, ''Don't wake Emma!''

''Ugh,'' Emma might have been awake since Marie's phone first lit up, ''Just get me a slushie,''

Jordan opened their mouth to say something, but -

''Cherry.''

There was no way out, really. It's not like Marie would like to find that way. She did have an idea to coax Jordan into her bed, but they were determined. Not even dressed in pijamas, like they haven't slept at all. Worry stirred in Marie's mind while she got her hoodie and pulled on her sneakers.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ***

Pretty soon, Marie stopped questioning ways to get out of Godolkin past curfew. The first time her and Jordan were present for something like this started a chain of events that were frigtning to say the least. But it was safe with Jordan. Yes, they could snort and drink a lot and stay seemingly okay. This part didn't matter. Marie went on a weird thought bender, just staring out of the window while the car started.

She turned to look at Jordan. They looked one second away from frowning, but tried not to. Marie wanted to snap them out of it, put a hand on their thigh or something.

''You are starring,'' Jordan remarked.

''If I didn't know better, I would think you are going to give me some kind of iniciation,''

Jordan smiled, glancing at Marie, almost chuckling.

''You've had enough iniciation.''

She really did. For Jordan university life spinned into insanity way more slowly. Being more open. Showing off their potential and growing hopeful, then letting the overachiever out. Then...the expirements came. Jordan wanted and didn't want for Marie to experiment in the same way. Mostly, it didn't feel like hard partying and Marie Moreu boded well. She might just go to hang out with friends. With Jordan. They can decide, who's going to look like the trophy wife next time.

Marie woke up fully in the bright convenience store lights. Empty and bright, the store reminded her of every cheap horror movie and every nauseous thought of walking in the night alone. But Marie and Jordan stood together, while one of them was waiting for the slushie to fill up and the other was taking every flavor of beef sticks.

''Are you going to be okay after this?'' Marie tried to not sound judgy.

''I wasn't really planning to be okay anytime soon,'' Jordan shrugged and showed her a party-sized pack of chips.

All she could do was nod.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ***

One car in the parkin lot was Jordan's, probably looking very creepy in the night. Only when the couple came back with three slushies (craving got contagious) and a bag of random snacks, Marie saw that it was 3 am.

Jordan slurped on their green slushie for almost a minute. Which, frankly, raised concern. But the moment Marie took a breath to ask, Jordan handed her their cup.

''Can you tell what flavor it is? I didn't look,''

Marie was annoyed to have her questions overruled, but she took the slushie and tried it. It was sweet and fruity, though nothing that familiar from what could come to mind.

''It's not apple. Lime or something?'' Another sip. ''Too sweet for lime.''

By now half of a big portion was gone.

''What did you get?'' Jordan without hesitation took the one Marie chose and took a sip. And didn't put it back.

''It's better?'' Marie thought for a second. ''Are you trying to get your brain frozen?''

''I can't. It's impossible. And yeah, I like this one better,'' Jordan leaned on the back of their seat.

''Keep it,'' leaning back too, Marie decided to stare again. Out-stubborn Jordan, while they were wrestling with the jerky package.

''Did you pull me out of bed so I could watch you match your teeth to your jacket?'' her voice was soft and that made Jordan stop. They almost frantically looked at their teeth in the rear-view mirror.

''No...It's kind of stupid. I mostly wanted to see you,'' Jordan sighed, glancing at Marie. Finally, they opened the pack of jerky and started chewing.

''You could easily lure me into your room, but junk food works too,'' she was glad that she said her answer before taking a piece of jerky. It was surprisingly spicy.

''Tomorrow we have class and I won't be able to stomach skipping it. And I am so tired of watching fucking Homelander interviews. Everything turns into empty words with a pretty fucking bow on it. I wish I could at least fucking sleep in,'' Even their outburst upset Jordan, because it was weak.

First, Marie's hands enveloped Jordan's, hiding it with the stretched out sleeves of her hoodie.

''I can't look at those creeps and dumbasses getting attention. Craving it so much. And I want to be noticed too, but those motherfuckers with hurt people and I'm just trying so fucking hard to be at least acknowledged,'' they let out a shuddering breath.

After a pause, during which Marie bit the inner side of her cheek, she spoke:

''You are burned out. It's normal. One skipped day or class won't ruin your ratings. But we also can spend an entire weekend in your room and vibe.''

Jordan looked down at Marie's hands and clutched that supid pack of jerky.

''If I go below the ten, I will fucking explode,'' they confessed, tears welling in their brown eyes.

''The weekend, then. Tomorrow's friday anyway,'' carefully, Marie cupped the side of Jordan's face.

''I found a very convinient time tohave a breakdown,'' a couple of tears did fall, but Jordan still chuckled.

''You are very time-efficient,'' Marie nodded. More then anything, she wanted to squeeze the rest of tears out of Jordan with a hug.

''I am a catch,'' Jordan nodded, relishing Marie's touch for a moment more, ''Do I really have blue teeth?''

''I think you can pull it off,'' her big eyes glistened in the dark. From tears or not - doesn't matter.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ***

The time was crawling up to almost 5 am.

''Give to me!''

''Come on, Jordaan.''

But Marie was left alone in the hall, without her hoodie and half-full bag of snacks. She wasn't sure if she had a sugar rush or a salt fever. All of this was cooking under the sleep deprivation sauce. Jordan seemed to be cheered up by her sacrifice, now taking their final stand. Marie stared at their broad back, that fitted her hoodie well enough and sighed when Jordan pulled on the hood.

''Emma,'' they whispered in lower tone. Emma didn't move at first, but then groaned.

Emma slowly turned away from the wall, just to see tall figure howering over her bad. Her eyes widened. Then squinted, making them giggle.

The figure gave her a huge slushie with beef sticks around the cup held with a rubber band.

''Probably should put it in the fridge,'' Jordan held it in for too long.

''You fucking dick,'' Emma let out a sigh, taking her slushie and taking a big sip, ''The only reason you survive this is because I'm thirsty,''

''Good night,'' Jordan glanced at Marie, deciding to leave Emma alone.

''Sorry!'' And the door closed for the final time this night.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ***

Jordan stared in the ceiling. With Marie snuggled up to them, most of the burden seemed to dissipate. Something still kept their pretty heavy eyes open. There's no reason to worry about their skills. Would they be able to overcome another obstacle the school puts in front of them?

Marie murmured something along a lines of ''don't...fucker'' and that pulled Jordan out of their spiral. They let out such a deep sigh, it was comical how Marie's head rose and fell with their chest.

''Fucker,'' she said it again.

It took everything in Jordan not to laugh. Time to sleep. Or their girlfriend will at the very least give them shit for being self-destructive.

Maybe, Jordan could lure Marie into sparring together. To relieve stress.

#gen v #jordan li #limoreau #marie moreau #emma meyer #mariejordan #it feel like i'm losing the grip on reality and my writing #but i hope it's the vibe still

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deeplyshalllow · 2 months

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So according to Google this is the first Friday after spring break in Ohio which means it is time for the most important annual event that I thought of six months ago:

Heathers (the movie*) Daily!!!

Each day in the next two weeks I will watch along with Veronica as she dates a young Christian Slater and then commits triple homicide.

Come join me!

Which bits of the movie to watch on each day:

22nd March - Beginning of movie to “But before that, I'd like to see Heather chandler puke her guts out.”

23rd March - From “Trust me, she skips the Saturday morning trip to Grandma's, even when she's not hungover” to “have you done this before?”

24th March - Nothing

25th March - From “Any other principal'd take the same position. Keep things business as usual.” to “Our love is God, let’s go get a slushy.”

26th March - From “I'm not belittling the foodless fund, Peter, it's just that we're talking teenage suicide here.” to “Oh you’re so smart”

27th March - From Veronica tucking her gun into her skirt to “Are we going to prom or hell?”

28th March - From “Now. It seems we were in a similar position on monday, when I thoughtfully suggested we'd get everybody together for an unadultarated emotional outpour.” to “on friday Pauline can hold her little "love-in", or whatever.” (today is literally just the teacher’s meeting, it’s so short)

29th March - From Ms Fleming gathering them for assembly to “You’ll be back.”

30th March - nothing

31st March - nothing

1st April - From “Me and Martha Dumptruck? Where did you get this?” to “Betty, leaving so soon? I'm red.”

2nd April - From Martha spilling her drink on herself to the end of Heather’s call to the radio

3rd April - From “Heather told everyone about Heather” to Heather Duke giving JD Moby Dick

4th April - From Heather showing Ronnie the petition to JD building the bomb in his room

5th April - From JD and Veronica arriving at school to the end of the movie

* Heathers the musical daily is of course also an important international event that I thought of six months ago, but that takes place over September/October time

#heathers #heathers the movie #winona ryder #Christian Slater #Veronica Sawyer #Jason Dean #heathers daily

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roseofdarkness0 · 1 year

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More Incorrect quotes but this time Poly shipping bc yes:

Married Au Incorrect Quotes + Drabble

~•~

Florida : Why are your tongues purple?

Louisiana: We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Texas : I had a red one.

Florida : oh.

Florida :

Florida : OH.

DC:

DC: You drank eachothers slushies?

~•~

New York : Look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like DC a little bit.

Gov: holding New York 's notepad You doodled your wedding invitation.

New York : No, that's our joint tombstone.

Gov: My mistake.

~•~

Louisiana: I’ve never asked someone out. How do you even do it?

Florida : Oh, what I do is, I look them up and down and I say: “Hey… how you doin’?”

Cali, scoffing: Oh, please.

Florida , to Cali: Hey, how you doin’?

Cali:

Cali: giggles and blushes

~•~

Texas : The first time I saw you, you stole my heart.

Gov: But I'm a kleptomaniac, so that doesn't mean anything.

~•~

New York : You don't need my blessing to go kiss Gov. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Gov!

Cali: Nope.

New York : In that case, as the archbishop of Cali's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Gov right on the lips!!!

~•~

Cali: We’re getting married, bitches!

New York : And we're about to make it everybody else's problem.

~•~

Louisiana: So, what is Florida to you?

DC: The reason I wake up every morning.

Louisiana: ...That’s adorable.

Florida earlier that morning, barging into DC′s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

~•~

Louisiana: DC is too tall for me to kiss them on the lips. What should I do?

Gov: Punch them in the stomach. Then, when they double over in pain, kiss them.

Texas : Tackle them!

Cali: Dump them.

New York : Kick them in the shin!

DC: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!

~•~

Cali: My crush isn’t picking up on my hints.

Gov: What hints have you given them?

Cali: Well, I think about them a lot.

Cali: And sometimes I even think about talking to them.

~•~

Texas : There's no way they like me back.

New York : Louisiana would throw themself in front of a moving car for you.

Texas : Louisiana would throw themself in front of a moving car for fun.

~•~

Gov: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

Florida : Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

~•~

Florida : Hey, Cali, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?

Cali: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.

Florida : No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?

Cali: Can't really say I have.

Florida : You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.

Cali: Sorry, Florida . For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

~•~

Louisiana: How do you know how to kiss? Like who teaches you?

New York : Well it’s actually a class, but unfortunately it’s full right now.

New York : Would you like me to tutor you?

DC: That was smooth.

~•~

Cali: I asked Gov out.

Florida : Oh, I’m sorry.

Cali: Why?

Florida : Well, I assume they said no.

Cali: No, they said yes.

Florida : Really? Then I’m sorry for them.

~•~

Cali: Is there anyone here who’s actually straight?

DC: raises hand

Texas : puts their hand down

~•~

at 3am

Florida : runs into Texas ’s room and turns on the light Wake up sleepyhead!

Texas : wakes up Dude!

Florida : cackles

Gov: sits up from where they were sleeping behind Texas What the fuck, Florida ?

Florida : jaw drops Wait WHAT-

~•~

Cali: Hey, New York , are you free on Friday? Like around eight?

New York : Yeah.

Cali: And you, Texas ?

Texas : Umm... yes?

Cali: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!

Texas : Did they just-

~•~

Gov: DC, you'll be working with Florida and New York .

DC: Alright! My fantasy threesome!

Everyone else: blank stares

DC: ...Of people on a team.

#ben brainard #welcome to the table #wttt #wttt incorrect quotes #wttt gov #wttt dc #wttt florida #wttt louisiana #wttt california #wttt new york #wttt texas #poly ship

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marigoldsinamber · 4 months

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The Devils on the Pew - Part 1

Summary:

Ned Flanders is a devil, a demon, Satan, whatever you want to call him. And his gorgeous wife is too.

They moved to Springfield with the idea of causing some trouble, earning a few souls, and having a little fun before they moved on. Their personas are perfect and their lives are comfortable but when they come up with an idea to seduce the local reverend and his wife, they don't expect to get into so much trouble. Or to actually grow this attached.

Ships: Devil!Ned Flanders/Reverend Lovejoy, Devil!Ned Flanders/Devil!Maude Flanders, Devil!Maude Flanders/Helen Lovejoy

Content Warnings: I suppose OOC for canon-Flanders but not for demon-Flanders.

Word Count: 3.3k

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

When a devil wanted to choose a town to live in for a couple of years, there were a few things they considered. Sometimes, they looked at the folk who lived there and decided they were wicked or greedy enough to fall prey to a demon’s bargain. Occasionally, they chose a place filled with idiots who’d never notice. Hell, sometimes they’d throw a dart at a map and get lucky enough to find a place with both.

And that was exactly what had happened when the devil found his way to Springfield with his beautiful wife right behind him.

Maude draped herself over his shoulders, sweet thing that she was, and gently kissed the corner of his mouth. Her tail swished through the air lazily as she smiled. “Bored, honey?”

“Undeniably,” he said with a dramatic sigh. “Why, it feels like years since I got somebody to sign a contract.”

“It was three days ago,” she teased. “Still, if you’re bored, we can find something fun. Do you want to drive somebody crazy again by following them around and singing? That makes so many turn murderous.”

She sounded so eager that he couldn’t help but laugh.

He’d chosen the right devil to stick by his side. The perfect combination of sweetness and danger, perfectly hidden beneath her acting skills. Why, if he didn’t know better, even he would think of her as a perfect suburban wife.

“Or you could always call the reverend again. Tell him you got a paper cut on your tongue and you think God’s punishing you.”

“Even that’s grown tiresome now I’m afraid. He’s started just giving me the most random verses for any problem.”

But it was tempting. This town gave him more entertainment than he’d bargained for with just about every fool you could imagine. A small nudge and they all fell into various sins without even a second thought. Even the sweetest of children hid dark desires and he’d really never felt more at home.

Unfortunately, even that wasn’t enough to keep him excited. He got awfully, maniacally bored with small temptations. Sometimes he just wanted to devour souls and wreak havoc upon the land.

There were footsteps on the landing and he hurried to hide his horns and goat legs as the children scampered around the corner. They weren’t demons. Maude had thought it would help their image to have a pair and honestly, he’d grown quite attached to the skittish boys.

“Daddy! Daddy! They’re throwing rocks at the windows again!”

He gritted his teeth, eyes narrowing as he heard the glass crack from the other side of the house. How he wanted to burn them all but punishing or, heavens forbid, slaughtering a few children would make them better behaved as a whole. The worse the kids were, the more everybody in town suffered.

Why, just the other day, he’d seen a few teenagers stealing an entire slushie machine from the convenience store.

He knelt down beside Rod and Todd and pulled them into a reassuring hug. “Don’t you worry about those boys, alright? I know they seem scary and intimidating now but remember, God will always protect us. You just have to have faith.”

They nodded their heads and buried their faces into his sweater before deciding by themselves to read a few pages of their bible. They hopped up to go find one and Ned wondered if maybe he’d made a slight mistake with how Christian he’d raised them. Certainly seemed more ironic with each passing day.

Maude smiled at him as he stood. “They’re so sweet.”

“Aren’t they?”

“I think we did a good job,” she said. “By the way, I’m going to our book club a little later so do you want to drop them off with a sitter? I made some sugar-free, flour-free brownies and everybody’s going to have to eat some to be polite.”

Ned chuckled. “You’re crueler than the devil himself, you know that? I can watch the boys though, so we don’t need a sitter.”

She smiled and playfully bumped her hip against his. “I was thinking that while I’m with my friends, you can take the reverend on a few errands with you. Helen really wants him to get out more.”

Ned laughed and agreed. The benefits from being from Hell ranged from easily terrorizing his favourite humans all the way to lower taxes. And he did love tormenting the town’s pastor who seemed to be getting more and more exhausted of him by the day.

He pressed a sweet kiss to her cheek before he disappeared with a puff, arranging for a sitter who could come watch the kids. It was a shame they had to drive there but on a street with the incredibly observant Helen Lovejoy and the paranoid neighbour who lived close to them, they needed to take the long route. He didn’t blame said neighbour though. Anybody would be jumpy with that many stolen goods in their home.

His sweater felt a little scratchy that day when they left the kids with a young demon who had nothing better to do and a healthy fear of him. It was the best way to know nothing would happen to the boys.

No demon wanted to experience his anger if his children got hurt.

Maude knocked and they waited patiently outside the Lovejoy’s house, both noticing the open window with sheets tied together that led from Jessica’s room. They exchanged glances but no words until Helen opened the door, her smile decidedly fake.

“Hi-diddly-ho, Helen,” Ned greeted. “Maude told me this book of yours is a real tear-jerker so I brought you all some tissues.”

Maude wrapped her arms tightly around Helen’s waist, hugging the other woman in greeting before she held out the platter. “And I brought my favourite brownies! I tried something new with the recipe this time.”

Helen smiled though the excitement didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Sugar-free?”

“Of course.”

Ned leaned down to give Maude a kiss on the cheek. “Have a good day, dear. I’ll be back around dinner time to steal you again.”

“Thank you,” she smiled. “And good luck with everything. Are you sure you don’t want company or anything?”

“I’ll be fine-diddly-doo. You enjoy your book.”

Helen’s attention had been caught. She couldn’t resist digging for information, even if it turned out to be awfully boring. “Are you up to something fun today?”

“My mother’s coming into town so we want to get her a small gift,” Maude filled in. “Neddy wants to pick it out himself but you know, I always worry because he gets so flustered about this kind of thing.”

Ned chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “I just want to make sure I get the right thing.”

Helen’s fake smile gave way for a real one as she had an idea. “Well, why don’t you take Time with you? My mother’s always coming over so he has plenty of experience and it’s not like he’s doing anything important today. He’s just playing with his trains.”

“Are you sure he wouldn’t mind? I’ve got to admit, I wouldn’t mind the help.”

“Of course, he won’t mind. Why don’t you come in while I fetch him?”

Maude smiled at him as she went to put her brownies down in the kitchen, giving him a small peck on the lips as she went past. The other guests hadn’t arrived yet. Ned had wanted to get there as early as was polite to make sure Helen helped them out.

If the reverend wasn’t able to go though, Ned had been eyeing out the mayor of the neighbouring town for a deal. Or if that fell through, Mr. Burns was always an easy target.

He could hear a faint argument and he stepped ever-so-slightly closer to listen without anybody noticing. Maude waved at him from the kitchen and he waved back, curious.

“Helen, we agreed that this would be my uninterrupted time with my trains.”

“But I already promised Ned you’d be willing to help and it would be great for you to get out for a while. What if the other ladies start feeling jealous that my husband is here? Next thing you know, Marge brings that awful Homer Simpson over.”

“It’s my house. I live here.”

“Do you have to be so difficult?”

“How am I meant to know what to buy his mother-in-law?”

“Get her the same thing you’d get for my mother.”

“Like poison?”

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

Ned chuckled and strolled back to the front entrance when Helen reappeared with a promise that her husband would be out soon. It didn’t take long for him to drag his way up the stairs with an expression on his face that suggested he might be praying for salvation. It was too bad that Ned’s existence blocked off a good amount of divinity.

“Howdidly doodily Reverend,” he greeted despite the glare it earned him. “It’s such a beautiful day, don’t you think? Just filled to the brim with opportunity.”

“Truly.”

Ned’s smile was blinding as he bid goodbye to the two ladies. He kept up a stream of near endless and useless chatter the entire time he drove. Reverend Lovejoy barely responded to him but Ned made sure to intersperse enough questions to ensure the man couldn’t tune him out entirely.

Ned already knew what he wanted as ‘gift’ but he made sure to walk around the store and contemplated just about everything before he came to the selection of Bibles and hummed in appreciation.

He picked out two near identical ones with close prices and stared at them, contemplating which to buy with occasional muttered opinion.

“Ned, I believe those bibles are exactly the same,” Reverend Lovejoy told him after about two minutes passed.

“There’s a two-cent difference in the prices though,” Ned said and pointed to the sign. “There must be something missing from the cheapest one. What if I buy it for my mother-in-law and it’s missing two cents of content. I don’t think I’d forgive myself.”

“Buy her the more expensive one then.”

“But what if they haven’t taken anything out of this one and have instead added stuff to it instead?” Ned asked, sure to sound panicked. “What if they added something to the text.”

Reverend Lovejoy stared at him blandly. “I sincerely doubt that would have happened.”

“The devil works in all ways,” Ned said. “I don’t know if I can take that risk. Could you read this one and tell me if there’s anything untoward in it before I buy it?”

“You want me to read through the entire bible right now? In the store?”

“Well, the way I figure it, if anybody’s going to know if there’s something hidden it the pages, it’ll probably be you.”

“You can also get her both and then if she finds something strange or missing from one, you just replace it.”

Ned tapped on his chin as though thinking about it. “That sounds like a mighty fine idea but I don’t know if I want a possibly butchered bible in my house at all. God has been a little more sharp-eyed as of late, especially after we flicked to the wrong channel the other day. You remember it right?”

“You did call about it.”

“I wonder if she read through the last bible I got her or if she only read part of it…”

“Have you ever considered getting her a different gift?”

Ned took his time looking around the shop. There wasn’t really anything else fun – just a few incorrect psalms etched into mugs and dishtowels. He’d love to get one for Maude’s mother but he didn’t know her favourite, he told the reverend.

Honestly, one day he should buy something like this for Maude’s mother as a joke. He could imagine how she’d laugh at the idea.

“Oh, this one is almost in the same shade of blue as the one you used last week,” Ned said, eagerly picking up a third. “But it’s a whole dollar more. Boy for that price, I’d be expecting a new verse toward the back, wouldn’t you?”

“Sure.”

“Which bible do you use for sermons?”

“I… can’t remember.”

They could always stop by the library and pick it up but Ned felt that would be a little too cruel for now. Instead, he put all three back and nodded his head. “We should go look at a few other stores to make sure we’re not being ripped off.”

“I really don’t think that’s necessary.”

“No, no, you have to be careful. No sense in wasting money.”

Meanwhile, Maude gasped politely behind her hand after Luann finished her rant about how she hadn’t finished the book because of her husband’s childish tantrums. It sounded as though getting remarried had ruined their relationship exactly like it had the first time. She couldn’t help but feel bad for that poor child of theirs.

“I thought things would be different this time but he’s just as much of a loser now,” Luann complained. “It’s so frustrating. I just want to strangle him sometimes.”

“Men never learn,” Marge said sympathetically and put a hand on her shoulder. “I can’t begin to count how many times I ask Homer to do things nicely and he ends up completely forgetting. He can’t even remember my birthday.”

“Not all men are like that,” Maude defended. “Ned is great about those things.”

Bernice nodded in agreement. “Julius too. The biggest thing we fight over is him wearing his doctor’s coat out all the time.”

“They also fight about her day drinking,” Helen whispered, leaning in close so only Maude could hear her.

Maude giggled. She’d wanted to be friends with Helen from the day they arrived in Springfield and she couldn’t help but be proud of the accomplishment. The woman had more power over the people in this town than most imagined. The fear of getting into Springfield’s gossip mill kept many on her side.

Maude took advantage of that. Neddy liked to torment through pestering and an ever-happy grin but Maude preferred a subtler approach. Nobody ever suspected she might be the way Helen found out so many private details.

After all, how could a regular person know what went on in their homes?

“Maybe we should have some of the baked goods?” she recommended to Helen. “I think everybody could use a bite of something sweet to help settle the nerves before we talk about the book.”

“Of course,” Helen said. “I cannot wait to taste those brownies.”

Such a lie. One day, Maude would make actual brownies and they’d all be hilariously surprised.

Helen grumbled under her breath when they entered the kitchen and immediately began snatching various catalogues off the counters. She shoved them into an overflowing drawer nearby with great effort. “I’m going to burn all of this nonsense one day,” she complained. “I keep telling Tim to leave his train stuff in the basement but he never listens.”

“It’s sweet he has a hobby though,” Maude mentioned and leaned against the table. “Neddy doesn’t really have anything like that aside from reading the bible.”

Maybe they should choose a more obvious hobby. She enjoyed having the reputation of being the bland, boring family in town, but eventually somebody might wonder what they do during the day and tormenting townsfolk never sounded good on record.

She did want to cause some ripples soon. Maybe she would fake her own death? If it wasn’t for the kids, she’d eagerly do it in a second. Imagine…

“At least reading the bible doesn’t send your electricity bill through the roof,” Helen griped.

“It can when Ned gets to a really exciting part of it and he just can’t stop turning the pages. Once, he stayed up the whole night without even realising.”

She should read the bible again to keep up her charade. She had no idea how Ned had managed to remember all those verses and passages when the most he did was flip through the pages in between signing deals and cashing in on them.

Helen sighed and took out a few large plates to put things out on. “It’s rather funny, don’t you think? We complain all the time about our husbands but it could be far worse. I can’t imagine living a life like Marge’s.”

Maude shuddered dramatically. “I feel so sorry for her.”

Although years of living alongside the Simpsons had helped her realise Homer wasn’t all bad, she still didn’t like the man much. His children were menaces also and she hated inviting the family over even when Ned asked her to.

“And Luann’s husband somehow managed to be even worse. I think he must have stalked her the entire time they were divorced.”

“That’s very sad,” Maude said though she didn’t mean it in a pitying way. “I feel so sorry for their kid. He probably needs far more attention than they give him.”

Helen scoffed and rolled her eyes. “It’s pathetic really. I don’t think Luann’s mentioned him once today.”

Maude did find it hypocritical for Helen to lecture anybody about not paying attention to their kids when her own daughter was far worse than any of the town’s hoodlums. Jessica wasn’t a bad child deep down but Maude had never gotten the opportunity to properly speak to the poor thing. She wasn’t often home or at events with her family.

Helen hadn’t mentioned her daughter either though she did leave one brownie in the tin, likely for either Jessica or Tim. Maude winced. She didn’t want to eat the things herself.

“He has a crush on Marge’s girl, Lisa,” Maude offered, providing enough gossip for Helen to be happy. “But from what Todd saw, I think she’s more interested in one of those crass boys who terrorise everybody.”

“Oh really?” Helen asked. “Gets her taste in men from her mother.”

“Obviously.”

Maude brought the cupcakes from Bernice and Helen carried out the brownies when she noticed the light in the basement had been left on. She mentioned it to Helen who quickly hurried down the stairs to turn it off, muttering the whole way.

Maude peered down curiously, only getting a brief glimpse of the massive collection of model trains before everything plunged into darkness.

“His collection has grown since I last saw it,” she commented to Helen. “It’s almost impressive.”

Helen rolled her eyes. “Of course, it has. It’s the real love of his life, don’t you know? The other day, I saw a receipt for flowers and I got so happy, only to find out they were fake miniatures for the grass next to the train. We haven’t been on a date in forever but he’s there every day.”

She was keeping her voice down to make sure nobody else heard. A lot of her superiority came from the idea of her life being better than the other woman she surrounded herself with. Maude had a strong suspicion she was the only one who knew about Helen’s true feelings surrounding her marriage.

And the more she thought of it, the more of an opportunity she saw.

“Maybe we should go on a double date,” Maude said. “We can do something we’ve never done before like go on a camping trip or a hike. Wouldn’t that be lovely?”

Helen’s eyes brightened at the promise. “Oh, I don’t camp but I do know where this lovely little log cabin is we can rent. It would be amazing! You could even bring the boys if you wanted to.”

“They’ll be so excited! They’ve been getting much better with nature lately.”

Maude watched Helen carefully for the rest of the day, appreciating how her expressions stayed neutral even when she was irritated or smug. She couldn’t even deny that Helen was quite pretty when you looked past the judgmental sneer.

When Ned picked her up, she had a plan in mind.

Tim looked awfully unimpressed as he marched back inside his house, rubbing his temples as though a headache had formed over the day. Three bibles sat on the front seat and she laughed and she put them in the back after they’d driven away. Ned’s day had been a stunning success it would seem and she was mulling over offering Luann a deal.

“I have a brilliant idea,” she cooed as they made their way home. “I thought about it while I was talking to Helen.”

Ned raised an eyebrow at her; the very edges of his horns were beginning to poke through and she laughed, pushing them back down. It usually meant he was using some of his more demonic forces to watch the road while paying attention to her.

“You know I love your ideas,” he said.

“The Lovejoys have been going through a rough patch in their marriage,” Helen said. “And I think we could help them out in a more… physically fun way.”

Ned chuckled almost demonically. She wouldn’t even run a contract by him so this must be something far more interesting. “And how will we do that?”

“I just think they could use another avenue to release their frustrations.”

He inclined his head to her. “Well, that does sound like the best diddly idea I’ve heard all day. So neighborly of you and I know your devilish temptations are strong enough to charm just about any man.”

Maude preened beneath the praise. She knew she had talent when it came to drawing men’s eyes to her but no, she had no interest in seducing the Reverend. He’d never been that interesting to her. Not like Helen was.

“I’m thinking more about his wife.”

“You want to seduce Helen Lovejoy?”

“I want to try,” Maude said. “I like her Neddy and I think it would be great fun. Her soul would practically be mine after that. She’d have to sign a contract rather than let it get out.”

He chuckled. “Now, you don’t have to lie and say it’s for a contract. If we get one out of this, all the better but you know you’re allowed to have your fun without stealing any souls.”

“And I want you to seduce her husband.”

There, Ned hesitated. He tilted the car’s mirror down to look at himself, wrinkled his nose and frowned. “I don’t know about that. Maybe if I’d chosen a better form but… not this one.”

Maude rolled her eyes. “Are you joking? You’ve taken your shirt off before, right? This form is delicious.”

“Maybe to those who like men but I don’t think the reverend of a church is going to let his gaze wander to me,” Ned said. “You, I think, might have a chance.”

Did she notice a hint of jealousy in his tone? Her attention hooked, she leaned forward to ask, “Do you find him attractive?”

Ned scoffed. “Obviously. Why do you think I bother him as much as I do.”

“Then why not try? If he’s not interested, you leave it to me and I’ll just swoop Helen right out from under him. Best case scenario, we end up with only one soul rather than two but I have some stories from Helen that suggest you might have a better chance than you think.”

He shrugged. “I suppose there’s no harm in it. We should try not to get our names too messy though. I don’t want to have to move towns.”

“I promise. I’m a very smart devil.”

Ned smiled proudly at her. “That you are and hey, I’ve always rather liked those collars he wears.”

This work was inspired by this absolutely stunning artwork:

#the simpsons fanfiction #the simpsons #the simpsons fanart #ned flanders #maude flanders #devil ned flanders #reverend lovejoy #helen lovejoy #flanjoy

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mkellc · 2 years

Text

𝗷𝘂𝗷𝘂𝘁𝘀𝘂 𝗸𝗮𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗻 𝘅 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝗰𝗿𝘂𝘀𝗵 𝗽𝘁. 𝟭

characters: megumi, yuta, inumaki, itadori

wc: i don’t know 💀 (it’s not that long tho)

warnings: none

a/n: these r some goofy hcs i thought up when i finished my finals for school and was bored one day, sorry if they don’t sound right for the character or don’t sound right at all? but i hope you like them!

also, i’m so sorry itadoris is so short, i gave up halfway through writing it 💀

this is pt. 1 so lmk if there’s a specific char you want to see in the next part and i’ll be happy to write for them!

𝗺𝗲𝗴𝘂𝗺𝗶 𝗳𝘂𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗴𝘂𝗿𝗼

- mf is the epitome of quiet

- specifically when he has a crush

- like he will fr AVOID you

- it almost seems like he’s mad at you

- he tries not to show any emotion around you

- but he slips up and accidentally called you pretty one time lmao

- and then he ran away

- and you were just like 👁👄👁 “i just wanted to know if you had an extra quarter so i could get a gatorade…”

- and it does take a lot of time for people to realize he likes you, but everybody knew after that

- specifically if you look his way for a while, not even staring, just looking, and he notices, a blush will appear

- when you say his name, he gets butterflies

- and if you touch him in any way at all he will combust

- he’ll also just become very soft around you after having a crush on you for a while

- he will try to bring you little gifts sometimes too

- like he will bring you a single dandelion and be like “i found this. it reminded me of you i guess.” then put it in your hand and walk away

- gojo then teases him abt it

- mf just really likes you and doesn’t know what to do about it

𝘆𝘂𝘁𝗮 𝗼𝗸𝗸𝗼𝘁𝘀𝘂

- the sweetest, softest man when he has a crush

- he doesn’t know how you did it but you just came into his life and turned his whole world upside down and he’d do anything for you

- but he’s also shy

- but after he gets closer with you, he’s an absolute simp

- he gets so happy and giddy when he gets paired with you for a mission, especially when it’s just the two of you

- even though he seems a little cold maybe even scary sometimes, he’s not

- ESPECIALLY if he likes you

- he will treat you to anything

- you wanna go get slushies? hell take you. you wanna sit out on training today? hell keep you company.

- literally an angel

- but he’s scared to make a move

- he thinks you only like him as a friend and he’s scared to ruin that

- he stumbles over his words when he’s talking to you, a lot

- but he’s always thinking about you

- and talking about you

- “y/n is so amazing!! she came back from a solo mission the other day where she single-handedly took down a grade one curse without even knowing it was grade one!! she is so cool, her technique is really fun to use as well and it also just looks awesome!! i really really like her,”

- he just rambles on and on about you with a blush and a smile on his face

- panda, inumaki, and maki are so done with him

- also if you get injured on a mission but it’s not bad enough for you to need to go to shoko, he’ll heal you himself or just help bandage your wound and stay with you for as long as you need

- when you’re sick, he takes care of you

- like he brings you anything you need

- water, food, medicine, he’s got you covered

- he just thinks you’re perfect and you deserve the world and he will go to the end of the world to get it for you (that doesn’t make sense but let’s just pretend it does)

𝘁𝗼𝗴𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝘂𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗶

- ok listen he is FUNNY

- like he can’t say jokes out loud but over text or through notes… he is HILARIOUS

- when he has a crush he’s not really shy abt it, he doesn’t really care if anyone knows

- and he’s not shy with the person he likes

- he usually will only have a crush on someone he has already gotten close to/is friends with

- he will pass you notes in class that just say either the sweetest things or the most out of pocket things. or both

- examples of sweet ones:

- “ur pretty <3”

- “we should sneak away during training and pick flowers in the courtyard today”

- examples of crazy ones:

- “what if…. what if… what if i ate a bug…”

- “would you still like me if i was a worm?”

- he’ll stare at you softly but when you notice and look back at him he just smiles (and sometimes he waves at you)

- like he looks all innocent and whatever but he’s a menace fr

- like he teases you

- (literally there’s a page in between some chapters in a paperback volume that says “he loves trolling” or something)

- and when you blush he blushes lmfao mfs just weak for you

- since he can’t really say what he feels, he will show you

- usually by being touchy

- but if he notices you’re uncomfy he’ll stop and find another way to show you, but if you like it he’ll continue

- he’ll sling his arm around your shoulder and hold your hand a lot he’ll also rest his head on your shoulder whenever he gets the chance

- people start to think you’re dating, it’s funny

- but in all seriousness he’s adorable and just wants to be around you bc you just make him happy

𝘆𝘂𝗷𝗶 𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗱𝗼𝗿𝗶

- he’s like a dog

- and i mean that in the nicest way possible

- cause he is so loyal and cute and he just wants to be all over you literally and physically

- he’s very touchy and cuddly and gives you hugs all the time (unless you don’t like it, he would never want to make you uncomfortable)

- he is not shy at all w it

- it will be painfully obvious that he likes you and at this point you’re thinking about just asking him out rather than keep waiting

- and, like a dog, he can sense when you’re sad or not feeling good and he will do anything he can to make you smile again

- oh and he loves your smile

- he loves how just seeing it will brighten his day sm

- he asks to be assigned missions with you because he wants to spend as much time with you as he can

- he introduces you to all his friends (if you don’t already know them)

- he will probably confess within like 2 weeks of liking you (that’s contradictory to what i said earlier but let’s just pretend it’s not)

- but it will still be well thought out and really sweet

- he will have a whole plan and it will actually go right for once in his life

- he thinks you’re really really cute and wants to be around you all the time and will try to make any excuse to be near you and spend time with you

#jjk #jjk yuuta #jjk inumaki #jjk megumi #jjk itadori #jjk manga #jjk x reader #jjk headcanons #jjk 0 #jjk x y/n #jjk x you #jjk imagines

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mythvoiced · 3 months

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-. wenzhe-core (pt. 1 oh god)

in response to the question 'you'd love your kids unconditionally no?': i don't even know those people yet. they just came out. they could be dicks for all i know

in response to a cis-straight white friend saying some awkward ignorant shit: your qi's all fucked bro, maybe we should kiss about it

in response to the WARRANTED question if he's bi, while visibly nervous: of course i'm a biped, is this about plato

in a conversation that had NOTHING to do with drag queens: on that note, i've been thinking, if a drag queen mugged me, i'd probably let her get away with it

wu zetian did nothing wrong by the way

i'm so glad it's your ben ming nian next year, like, fuck

uber? more like uberMENSCH, haha, nietzsche, amiright? ha....... no, i... uh. never went to oovoo javier, no

epic rap battles of history is NOT a good source just copy from wikipedia like everybody else does, like-

right after the previous one, in response to the question of how he recognized it was erb so fast, visibly sweating: what? i don't know what that is, sit down

in a lull in a group conversation after several moments of silence: y'know, i was thinking, if i wanted to kill my grandma, like, if i had to for some reason, i'd probably just have to cuss at her once, actually, but then my mother would kill me, so it's not worth it

aah~... i get it: the autistic swagger

people get way too worked up about c*nnibalism me thinks

a few moments before forgetting to salt a dish: recipes who go 'add salt' are stupid, of course i'll add salt, what would i not put salt into, BUT, then again, if a recipe doesn't say it, i will get confused, actually, so it's this whole thing, you know?

i wish getting upset would make me spit out blood the way it happens in wuxia's, it would add so much flair to my seasonal depression

apartment "complex"... really? i find it quite simple

"based"? based on what?

you're telling me a shrimp fried this rice?

road work ahead? uh, yeah, i sure hope it does

you're gonna look at me and you're gonna tell me that i'm wrong?!

odysseus is the biggest fucking-- plays 3d chess concocting up that whole 'nobody' ploy and then at first opportunity he just-- 'oh, and by the way? fuck you, signed, odysseus of ithaca' who does that

yeah, no, it was awful. yeah, yeah it killed 502 people, yeah... yeah, no it was... yeah it was awful... wanna hear more about it?

drinking a slushie: i just realized i don't like slushies- no, stop, i'm not throwing it away, are you insane? it cost Money

fuck pineapples, they eat you back

you know, the only reason we're apex predators is because we figured out how to make things that make killing others easier, that's all, really, our success in history, in the world, our supremacy over other species, it all comes down to us killing our way to the top, which is probably why we're killing each other now, we have no other beings to bury beneath us... are you gonna finish that, by the way?

#;ooc #the guilty;about #cannibalism mention #i'm cutting up leftover meat for The Pets (the errands i mentioned)#and since my hands are busy i can only do two things 1. begrudgingly succumb to my need to rewatch aot s1 #2. think about wenzhe bc he's in my head now #so this list was compiled painstakingly slowly every time i took my glove off and added one #had to add the golden trio of wittingly misunderstanding something #wenzhe would have THRIVED in vine era like... you would not BELIEVE it #i can't keep adding to this btw the more i add the more i realize he's just me without a filter

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brittanagirlcrush · 9 months

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2. "Have you lost your damned mind?" For Brittana obvi

Hope you like this :) It's a little different from my normal stuff. I'll post it on FF.Net too :) Thanks for the prompt.

Prompt: Have you lost your damn mind?

Title: Immutable Truths & Unbreakable Rules

A/N: This fits into my Brittana headcanon/canon-adjacent/canon-ish world. Happens shortly after IKAG

xoxoxoxoxo

If you walk the halls of William McKinley High School in Lima, OH, you are immediately made aware of two things: an immutable truth and an unbreakable rule.

The unbreakable rule is unbreakable because of the immutable truth.

The Unbreakable Rule is: Brittany S. Pierce is off-limits for any sort of bullying, harassment, slushying, name-calling, threatening, or anything else that might cause the bubbly blonde to pout, be sad, or upset.

The Immutable Truth is: Santana Lopez is completely, head-over-heels in love with Brittany S. Pierce.

Our story is a story because an idiot failed to remember these two things.

Xoxoxoxoxo

Rick “The Stick” Nelson was, for lack of a better term, an idiot.

He considered himself smart, hot, sexy, irresistible, charismatic, and an all-around catch.

He has told more than one female, with a leer, an eyebrow waggle, and a smarmy grin, that he gave himself the nickname “The Stick” … and not because he plays hockey. (Cue much eye-rolling at this point).

On this particular day, Rick was – as usual – bitching about his loss in the student election to “that stupid blonde bimbo Pierce”. He'd been bitching about it for over a week and his cronies (Rick didn't really have friends) were tired of hearing it.

“Dude, let it go already. Look, Brittany is, like,” Jerry rolled his eyes, “everybody likes Brittany. I mean, seriously, the only votes you probably got were from the hockey team and, I'm pretty sure, a few of them voted for Pierce.”

“Really, man, I mean … god … she's like in the Glee club and hasn't ever been slushied because everybody likes her.” Jack added.

The almost dead hamster in Rick's brain slowly turned on its wheel and Rick came up with a “brilliant” plan. He would slushie Brittany S. Pierce and she would be so humiliated that she'd resign and he'd be president. It was fool proof. (Forgetting, of course, that Kurt Hummel took the second number of votes (after the false votes were removed, of course).)

“I'm gonna slushie her today! Then she'll have to quit cuz she'll be humiliated.”

The was a collective outburst of “Have you lost your damned mind?!?!” to this proclamation.

The was the first utterance of the phrase that would cause that day to become known as the “Have You Lost Your Damned Mind” day.

Xoxoxoxoxo

Rick walked with purpose toward the tall, blonde cheerleader. He held a cherry slushie in his right hand. He saw Brittany notice him and smiled his smarmy grin.

He faltered a bit when Brittany simply shook her head and held up her hand, all five fingers splayed out.

Xoxoxoxoxo

Brittany was minding her own business, waiting for Santana to finish talking to Mr. Kellogg, when she spotted Rick “The Stick” Nelson moving toward her with determination, a slushie in his right hand.

She sighed and shook her head, knowing what was going to happen if he was successful. From the corner of her eye she spotted Santana coming toward her and knew that Rick, most decidedly, was not going to be successful.

She raised her hand, all five fingers splayed out. She slowly tucked her thumb back into her fist, then her pinky, her ring finger, and her middle finger. When the only finger left standing was her pointer finger she pointed it at Rick and slowly pulled it into her fist.

Xoxoxoxox

Rick watched as Brittany … counted down? When she reached one and pointed at him, he was about five steps away from bringing his plan to fruition. When she tucked her pointer in, the slushie cup was popped up into his face and a dark ball of fury slammed him into the lockers behind him with a resounding clang.

A left hook hit his jaw, then a right cross hit his nose with the sound of crunching cartilage. A flurry of blows followed. “Have (punch) you (punch) lost (punch) your (punch) damned (punch) mind (punch)?!”

Rick could barely see but he heard, incredibly softly, in a sing-song voice, “stop the violence.”

The blows stopped with a snarl and the body that had been pinning Rick to the lockers stepped away, allowing Rick to slip to the floor in a puddle of cherry slushie.

Xoxoxoxoxo

Santana was headed toward Britt's locker, happy to have successfully argued her A- up to an A. She was about to call out to Brittany when she saw Britt put her hand up. Santana frowned, looked toward where Britt's eyes were focused, and almost lost her damned mind.

'Oh … Hell to the NO! No me gusta,' she thought as the rage in her chest boiled over and she flew toward the idiot who thought he was going to slushie her girlfriend. She popped the slushie cup up into Rick's face before body slamming him into the lockers. She was going to kill him. A left to the jaw, a right to the nose (she was gratified to hear the crunch of cartilage), and a flurry of blows as she yelled, “Have (punch) you (punch) lost (punch) your (punch) damned (punch) mind (punch)?!”

She would have kept hitting him until he was unrecognizable and unconscious but Brittany's soft sing-songy voice called her back, “stop the violence”.

Santana snarled and stepped away, letting Rick slide down the locker into the puddle of slushie.

She stepped up to Brittany. “Are you okay, Britt?”

Brittany smiled at her. “I'm fine, honey.” She lifted Santana's hands. “You're going to need …”

“What in the devil went down to Georgia is going on here?” Coach Beiste bellowed.

Xoxoxoxoxo

Coach Beiste heard the sounds of a fight and headed toward the noise. She came around the corner and saw Rick “The Stick” Nelson lying in puddle of melting cherry slushie, his nose obviously broken, and his face looking like someone took a meat tenderizer to it.

“What in the devil went down to Georgia is going on here?” She bellowed, looking from Rick to Santana Lopez who was trying very hard not to look guilty.

“Lopez! Have you lost your damned mind?”

Santana shrugged. “He slipped on the slushie he was going to throw on Brittany.”

It took Coach Beiste all of three seconds to realize what had happened. She turned to look at Rick. “Boy, have YOU lost YOUR damned mind? You must be dumber than a sheep in wolves' clothing.” She shook her head.

“Alright! Show's over! I'm sure you all have somewhere to be.” Coach Beiste picked Rick up by the scruff of his neck and veritably dragged him to the nurse's office.

Xoxoxoxoxo

Brittany grabbed hold of Santana's sleeve to drag her to the bathroom without hurting her hands.

She pulled the first aid kit out of her backpack (all the Cheerios carried them due to the number of injuries they suffered) and cleaned, disinfected, put antibiotic ointment on, and wrapped Santana's hands in gauze.

“Thank you,” she said softly. “I did try to warn him and …” she sighed, “I hate that you got hurt and you're probably going to get in trouble and …”

“Britt … hey, listen, everyone knows that if they come after you they'll be dealing with me. They KNOW I'm not going to stand by while someone harasses you. I don't know what that idiot was thinking but …” she shakes her head, “no one gets to hurt you.” She leaned up and captured Brittany's lips in a soft kiss. “I would do it again in a heartbeat before I'd let you get hurt.”

Brittany beamed at her. “I love you, Santana.”

“I love you, too, Britt-Britt,” Santana beamed right back at her.

Xoxoxoxoxo

If you were to walk those same halls after the “Have You Lost Your Damned Mind?” day, you would be made aware of a second Immutable Truth: Rick Nelson is an idiot.

#brittana #writing prompt #my fic writing #brittana fanfiction

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