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#evil dorito au
churrothezanyrabbit · 3 months
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I WANT THAT TWINK
OBLITERATED
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@dorito1133 @doritos-side-blog
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michellemouse · 2 months
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Evil Dorito Au part 2 be like:
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the-moon-files · 28 days
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I love the idea of humans being space orcs. I’ve always wondered about the potential differences between Hylians and Humans some of my ideas include:
Humans are heavier than Hylians (they have bird-like bones)
Hyrule is the lightest of the links since is half fairy (personal hc)
A hit that would break a Hylian’s bones, just majorly bruises a human
Reader can carry multiple small links or a bigger link
They are limited by the size of the Link being carried, not weight
Reader is shorter than Time (personal hc), so it’s a little awkward carrying him in smaller spaces
Can double carry (piggy back one Link on their back, carry another one on their front) easily
Will carry both Four and Hyrule, going through portals and after since they both get sick (personal hc)
I feel like Twilight would initially be the Link most resistant to being picked up, shaped as a Hylian or Wolfie, when they are first picked up. They just freeze for a solid minute or two before relaxing. He loves it after that.
More resistant to weather (heat & cold)
Have iron stomachs (compared to Hylians)
Humans can eat pretty much every plant and not get sick unlike their Hylian counterparts
Can easily eat Hyrule’s cooking, it may not taste as nice but it’s still edible
Wild pouring in Gordon spice is still palatable, like eating a dorito (not really spicy, just adds flavor)
As a population, humans expand faster (more fertile, pregnancy is shorter than Hylians)
It’ll blow their minds if you have 2+ siblings
I mean, is there even a large Hylian family (I think once I saw a family with 3 kids once?) (imagine if they saw the show 19+ kids and counting)?
Resistant to magic, but also can’t use any
Hyrule’s magic healing does nothing, good thing humans don’t get injured easily
It’s okay Rulie, it’s not your fault
Humans heal slower than Hylians (since in Wild’s world they can eat and instantly recover)
Hylian metal is thin compared to what humans use
I don’t know why, but I just imagine it like thick aluminum foil, very pliable, but resistant to cuts and stabs
Could you imagine human!reader finding a dent in Times armor, and just smoothing out the dent with their bare hands
Four is probably swooning in the background
Also shows how dangerous their enemies are compared to humans
Earth doesn’t have Hylian monsters, all of Earths monsters are just evil/bad humans
Wind is astonished you can swim against the tide with ease
Their Hyrule’s ocean currents are 1/2 as strong as Earths
Think of Hyrule’s stormy oceans as swimming in a strong lap pool (you know those small long skinny pools with a current so you can swim straight in them and go no where?)
To end all of this, could you just imagine, the Chain and human are fighting a group of monsters. Human’s sword breaks (one of Wild’s), so human throws the sword away, they look defenseless so the monsters target the, all Links are freaking out, so what does human do? They start punching, kicking, and decking every monster in the face. Turns out humans are Hylian One Punch Man (/men?). Their punches are lethal if it hits the right spot. Link (all of them) is dumbfounded, how are they that strong? Are our monsters weak to them? How strong are their monsters? They don’t have any?-well it makes sense,if all humans can do that then they clearly eradicated them all!
Sorry for taking all of your time and spamming you with my thoughts, I just love, love, LOVE, the idea of humans being space orcs to Hylians!!!
AHHHHH I cant believe so many ppl (like 3?) are into the humans are space orcs to Hylians AU :’)
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erratic bits i wanna add on to ur incredible list u got going on here
Sun: Masc/Male!Reader (he/him)
Orbit: ERRATIC Headcanons, ADHD-influenced headcanons, if you will
Stars: little bit of all the Chain
Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild typical loz violence, mild cussing, & Trigger Warnings: none known.
Please comment if I missed any. /gen
I SUBCSCRIBEEE TO MAMMAL BASED HUMAN ANATOMY VS. AVIAN BASED HYLIANS
like how tf else u livin in the sky?? lol
or riding all those birds and creatures, like ofc u weigh on avg exactly 8 apples lmao (btw i got this from botw, where someone tested how much Link weighs for game physics and it was about 8 apples i think)
smth about u being a game nerd boy, may or may not be that fit, and yet goes to take a blow for a Link that had them all wincing, only to walk away with a nasty bruise like,
yes pls be impressed by me literal versions of Link from Legend of Zelda, along with now being real life heroes who have literally fought evil itself and won <3333
would literally start flexing my (nonexistent) muscles like LMAOO
that's going straight to my head ngl
like can u imagine the amount of times you have to resist just sweeping a Link up to princess carry them around?? like poor boy you've always done the princess carrying, allow me 🫴 (gentlemanly bows with hand out for him to take) LMAO
Gay tension thru the ROOF one time u playfully did this lol
some of them rlly out here trying to find a reason not to be picked up like??
Twilight: look u can pick me up, but im too big compared to you so it just wont work out…
You, seconds away from ur dream of picking up Twilight Princess Link, not about to stop now: SO WHAT ur bigger than me? All the more room to get a good hold on you babieee >:)
and Time,
Time: i have armor on, and im taller than you. itd be awkward, i can just lean on you until we can splint my ankl-
You: u think the little details gonna stop me? cute, get on my back rn. 😐
on another related carrying Links note,
BRO U BEAT ME TO IT!!
I thought as soon as I posted other ask abt this abt how Rulie/Four get sick and how others have had to carry them before,
but with you here??
Rulie and Four are livvinggggg >>>
so if we go on bird hylians theory, they actually have a higher body temp (bird base contribute to burning thru food quicker too? birds have a higher metabolism too right? would make more sense with how they consume food a lot for both healing and bc they hungrier more often than humans)
so u know that feeling of being nauseous, laying stomach down on the cold bathroom floor or smth and suddenly all ur problems are solved?
Hyrule and Four getting carried by u, their lovely Guide become physical, after portals ^^^
getting carried by u/physical affection from u is by far the best thing to come out of you becoming physical, all links have secretly decided lol
so unlike previous posts, if we’re being more true to humans are space orcs/australians tumblr side, i think I've heard over there abt eating/human diets being radically different a lot!
like how originally caffeine/capsican (the spicy part of peppers) was poison, or kept animals from eating that plant bc that was their defense,
then humans came along, said, “hm, makes my mouth tingle, more energy, i like it.”
and then made coffee, energy drinks, and a million spicy dishes/snacks worldwide lmao
anyway the Links are scared lol
esp after u talk abt stuff like this, or try Goron spice
my fav scifi idea thing i ran into somewhere was how these aliens gave their human meat to eat, human got curious (which, human curiosity a whole different beast of a post to get into, so many ideas)
and tried to gnaw on bones, like u do with stuff like ribs u know, and then broke the bone, found the marrow tasted great, and then the bone was so flimsy/broke down so much that they ate it too lol
So now, imagine the Chain did that to you LMAO
Four/Wild/Wind are fascinated by ur bone/jaw strength, Wars/Hyrule/Sky/Twi are mildly horrified but cant look away, Legend and Time are surprised but also at the stage of just acceptance of ur human bullshit lmao
unrelated to above, abt the fertility thing
one side of my family is super big (mom is 1 of 5, one of which is her identical twin) then each of them had about 3 kids, then some of my cousins are now having their own 1-2 kids, along with some of my adopted cousins thrown in/somebodies stepkids or like divorced situation where they sometimes show up to this side of the family, like 💀
Chain want to hear everything about ur family ngl if ur in a situation like this lol
the absolute shock on their faces after u tell them about twins/triplets/quintuplets/etc. existing lol
Bro, the amount of things I could talk abt with magic resistant reader pros/cons, like have u ever seen that in animes before? where it'll have a character who can negate stuff?
its so OP, it might just be worth not being able to use their magic much in hyrule
so i included that gif bc a scenario i can totally see happening that i didnt get to include in other posts is a guardian firing a laser at you and it just,, bounces off
or gets kinda absorbed, like maybe you got the equivalent burn of like touching a hot pan, stings for like an hour then is gone by the end of the day
Wild would literally not let go of you or let you out of his sight if he saw that happen poor thing ToT
Guardians were already so tricky for the Chain, esp black blooded (robots have blood? unclear)
then ur ass shows up all heat resistant to their world, and ur slow ass gets got by the beam, everyone’s horrified and poor boys are regretting you ever getting a physical form, bro you think your dead-
and then u just sit up, chest kinda burny, but just like described above, not even a real burn
even better, the guardian takes out ur weapon and u just have to like, square up to a guardian ASFHLJSL-
tbh most battles ur absolutely set,
u got magic resistance, so like wizzrobes who are all magic-based do nothing to you, u can literally punch ur way out a situation, as long as u keep ur guard up ur good, but even if u get hit physically, like u said, bruises at worst, bc at worst in a battle you'd get a broken bone
maybe if something had the strength to like, sever a limb, a step up from broken bones, then they manage to actually bruise u badly + cut you or smth
so basically ur biggest challenge in battles is working up the courage to get into them LMAO
like u know that thing from Oot with the bloody hands and shit?? dead hand or redead or smth?? skulltulas???? (esp if u have phobias related to it, like having arachnophobia like me for skulltulas💀)
Chain: Charge! cmon Guide!
You: I got your back girl! …from over here!
ur so perfect for fighting and ur biggest obstacle is just how fucking terrifying fighting that shit irl would be 😭 😭
the Links don't give u battle advice really, they instead just have to encourage you so you'll be less afraid and can fight LMAO
(makes sense to them tho bc ur world doesn't have these same monsters, most of them tbh would've had a harder time relating before this adventure, bc now they get to a new hyrule with entirely diff monsters they can relate more lol)
(Oh, and yes. Four is honest to god falling in love with you all over again seeing you sharpen edges of swords by pinching ur fingers, or dipping ur hand in lava casually to help the harder metals soften, or smooth out dents in armor. Time may have also felt some type of way the first time you reached out and smoothed a dent right in the middle of his chest.)
could've said SO much more, but my ideas sometimes go too quick for my fingers to type, so this was all i could catch for now
dw ill never shut up about this AU so ill prob get them all out eventually, GOD i wanna write a male!reader fic with this so bad
but i keep forcing myself to at least finish 1/3 fics im updating rn before i launch into another lol
TYSM for this!!
I LOVE hearing ppls idea abt this AU, esp if u include male/gen neutral reader, like just take my heart ig <333
Sorry abt the late reply btw!! :’(
Peace out Daicinia,
🌙
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mikareo · 6 months
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⌗ SNOWDROP ₊ ˖ ་. nagi seishiro x fem reader (5.4k)
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⊹ ⠀⠀ it's the end of the world and he's possibly the most unprepared person alive…perhaps he can rely on the pretty girl with perfect aim who just so happened to save his life at the very last second. he’s never been in love but maybe this love could last…so long as the both of you stay alive.
contains; resident evil inspired, badass agent!reader, helpless civilian!nagi, zombie apocalypse, guns, knives, blood, gore, swearing, angst, fluffy flirting, love at first sight, major character death, reo cameo!!!!, cannibalism (zombies) author's note; this fic destroyed my sanity, but i hope u like it! there are parts that are so unserious asjkl just trust me that it's a good read and pt2 is gonna be fucking crazy
⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ videogame au milestone collab masterlist !
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This can’t be happening. There’s no way this is actually fucking happening right now. 
He’s sprinting at full speed, his laces are barely tied, and the smoke in the air is surely clogging his lungs into a blackened pulp of nothingness. To be quite frank, Nagi would rather have those poisoned lungs than discover whatever the hell happened to his neighbors down the hall…because damn they look like they’re in some rough shape. With their sunken eyes, flaking skin, and very obvious urge to suddenly turn to cannibalism, that’s not really his vibe…but that’s a falling telephone pole! Holy shit that’s a falling telephone pole coming straight his way in 3…2…1. JUMP!
Whew, that was a close one. Good thing he’s tall!
The shift in humanity didn’t exactly happen overnight. It was actually just twenty minutes ago when his peace was so rudely interrupted. There he was, snuggled up in his gaming chair with a fresh bag of Cool Ranch Doritos opened and ready to meet his belly, when he finally beat the last level of his new favorite game; only to discover that those screams of terror and fear…yea those weren’t coming from his PC and his living room window is now a pile of ash. Nagi doesn’t think he’s ever seen so much red and yellow in his life, all of it becoming one big blur of flames that he somehow jumped through and landed on the street below— thankfully he lives on the ground floor, otherwise his body would join his couch in a pile of broken limbs. Damn, this is all such a hassle.
No one would be able to guess what it was that caused this chaos…okay, actually it’s not too out of this world; just a commercial jet falling from the sky with a monstrous thing (??) crawling out of the window onto the streets of Tokyo, whilst an oddly green gas dilutes the air.
Yeah, not too crazy— but just crazy enough to make even Nagi Seishiro, laziest man on earth, leave the comfort of his homely apartment to find his neighborhood in complete and utter chaos. He even saw his delivery man devouring the convenience store owner that always gives him an extra bonus off his nightly midnight snack. Man, he loved that guy. That’s a sight that’ll make him shudder for years to come; assuming he can stay alive for the next however many hours and days this newfound apocalypse is going to take.
Nagi thinks it’s been nearly an hour since he started running and he didn’t even know he had this much stamina in him. Maybe he’s secretly a superhuman or another one of the monsters the city has been consumed by— or perhaps his adrenaline rush is nearly infinite since he’s never utilized it in his entire life. He’s not sure of the logistics. He failed high school biology…and chemistry…and physics. There’s a reason why he turned to gaming and shied away from college. This thrill and rush isn’t meant for him. He’s a couch potato that wants to do nothing but rot and enjoy the satisfying ding Twitch gives him whenever he receives a new sub. His generation needs instant gratification…and right now? Well, he’s in desperate need of some water. 
Hesitantly, Nagi rounds into the glass doors of the nearest and safest looking building he happens to see— which is luckily a convenience store similar to the one near his apartment. He’s more than surprised when the automatic doors open in a pinch and he’s able to enter with no difficulty. The store is somehow in little disarray, with its grocery items on the shelves in their rightful spots and few sparse bags of chips laying on the tile floor. However, what is in disarray is the pharmacy section. There are drugstore pills scattered everywhere. He can’t even tell what kind of medications were being scavenged in a clear panic for medical amenities, and highly doubts that whoever was searching for supplies was able to get any with the state the back of the store is in. The font on the labels is so small that Nagi, the man who stares at a screen all day, can’t decipher what they say; and he’s assuming that whoever was in here is long dead and gone. But then again…
…he’s never been the kind of guy who’s always right.
“I come in peace!” His voice is two octaves higher than it normally is. If this were a choir audition, he’d absolutely ace it. “I swear I just came for some water! Please don’t kill me, zombie, please!”
Both of his eyes are shut whilst he awaits his inevitable demise, assuming that the unknown presence in the room likely has an appetite for human organs. There were so many things he wanted to do with his life…like ride a hot air balloon? Actually, that would be really hot if he were that close to the sun. Surf in the Caribbean? Ew, he could get bit by a crab. Get a girlfriend? He can’t complain about that one, that would be very very nice. 
Oh no, he’s already getting eaten…he can practically hear her imaginary laughter already.
“Really? Those are your last words?”
Zombies can talk?
Nagi fearfully inches one eye open to see the most gorgeous person he thinks he’s seen in his entire life. Sure, you look a little disheveled— with your soaked hair and dirt-crusted skin— but to him, you look like something out of his imagination. The female protagonist that he could only dream about campaigning with in a first-person-shooter game, and would later search for a worthy poster to stick on his wall. If love at first sight is real, then this is definitely it. The only issue? Your barrel is pointing straight at his face.
“You’re going to shoot me?” He exclaims, scrambling to back up but ultimately tripping on his own laces and landing on his ass. “Ah shit, that hurts.”
Elegantly, you rush to his side. “You have injuries?” With eyes scanning over every inch of his body, there’s genuine concern dripping from your tongue like honey. Your voice is like a melody, oh man. Nagi thinks he’s a goner— not because he could be eaten by zombies, but because he feels like he’d jump in front of a moving bus to protect you. Pfft, and some protection he’s doing, embarrassing himself like this…
“Nope, nothing’s hurt…” he mumbles, sitting up with an attempted nonchalant look on his face. “...only my ego.”
A small smile reveals itself before him and your eyes crinkle as you let out a little laugh, and instantly he’s almost more obsessed with you. It’s as if you’re some higher being that he was blessed to see on his final day on earth, with golden rays radiating from your skin and big irises that he could drown in. Perhaps if it weren’t the end of the world, the two of you could’ve walked to this store together— holding hands and speaking softly about your shared interests and passions— and he could make you laugh a million times and more…now that he’s really thinking about it, you’re the first girl he’s made laugh probably ever and he really wishes there wasn’t a menacing zombie apocalypse getting in the way of his beautiful fantasy. 
“I’m assuming you’re alone?” You stand up, looking down at him. 
Alone as in single or…
“You don’t have any family that you escaped with?”
…okay not alone as in single. Got it.
“It’s just me,” Nagi stands to his feet and is loving your shocked reaction to his towering height. “My family’s overseas right now, so I think they’re alright. I mean, I hope they’re alright. I don’t have any service to reach them, right now. My phone is down.”
You nod, reaching in your bag for something he can’t quite see. What he can see, though, is the massive shotgun strapped to your back and three large cartridges hanging from your belt— somehow you’re able to carry all that and four grenades, two handguns, and six rolls of bandages in that pack of yours, which you lay out for him so lovingly on the floor. 
“Take what you need.” Oh hell, what has he gotten himself into?
As he backs up cautiously, realization dawns upon your face. “You’ve never done this before have you?” 
“Is living through a zombie apocalypse a common experience?” His mouth is agape. “Yeah, sorry…can’t say this isn’t the first time for me.”
A sigh slips from your lips and you gather your things, packing everything into your bag except for a standard handgun. Nagi can feel his heartbeat picking up as you take three steps closer to him. One. Two. Three. He wishes you’d chosen to take a fourth— that way you’d be nose to nose, he’d get to see your beauty up close, and then memorize the curves and features of your face— which he’d surely never forget as he’d think about them morning, night, and day. He’d love to fantasize about you for hours but you have other plans, dropping said standard handgun into his palms. 
“Just aim for the head, okay?” 
Um. No. Not okay. 
“I don’t really shoot real guns…” he rambles, attempting to get rid of the deadly weapon you’ve so casually given him. “I’m more of a lover, y’know? Talk things out instead of shooting things in between their eyes? I like digital zombies! Yeah, those guys are chill…love ‘em so much…please take this away from me.”
You shake your head, already on your way out of the door. “Nope, you’re coming with me.”
“Why?” If this were a video game, there’d be a massive exclamation point flashing above his head, along with a grave that he could crawl into instead of joining you on this suicide mission. Being six feet under sounds pretty nice right about now…but he’s sure that the look you’re giving him is more deadly than any threat outside. “I don’t think I’m going to be much help to you.”
“Nagi, is it?” You clarify, to which he nods. “There are only two choices right now, and I know we just met but I’d rather you live than die. You’re tall. Your height is going to give you a range advantage when we’re out there, and I can already tell that you have great spatial awareness…not many people would’ve noticed me in the shadows. You know this area far better than I do, and sure, you’ve never held a gun before, but you’ve got to fight to live.”
As your voice continues in a soft-spoken tone, he’s mesmerized. “I want you to live, and I’m going to make sure you do.”
He can feel himself nodding along to your words— his heart getting lighter by the second, perhaps out of adrenaline but he’s going to believe it’s love. He needs something to look forward to when this is all over, if this is ever over, and that something is the image of you and him on a date. With you looking stunning in your favorite outfit and him hopefully looking better than he does right now…clear skies with the cicadas shushing themselves so he doesn’t miss a single thing you say…enough money in his bank account to cover anything and everything you wish for…and the biggest bouquet of your favorite flowers that he can find. What are your favorite flowers?
“Can I ask you something before I say yes?” Nagi’s voice is sweet, seemingly comforting you as your shoulders drop from their automated offensive stance. You look a little curious, likely assuming that he’s going to ask you some tips on how to shoot a gun— which he probably should if he’s being honest with himself, but that’s an issue that isn’t as important as his current curiosity. “Do you have a favorite flower?” 
With teeth shining at him, he’s blinded by the overwhelming beauty you send his way and for the second time, he makes you laugh. 
“My favorite flower? You’re so strange.” Overcome with a fit of giggles, he thinks that this is your first time laughing at something a man said as well. “Why do you need to know that? Are you asking me out or something?”
“I am.” He states bluntly and your cheeks flush red. 
There’s a minute of silence between the two of you and each second is more excruciating than the last. With a heavy clock ticking in his ear, telling him that he’s made a fool of himself as the hand inches more and more to the left; he’s counting down his probable rejection as he’s just shot his shot in the middle of the end of the world. What a stupid decision. He knows his timing could be better— could be a lot better actually— and there’s a part of him that regrets even attempting…but none of that matters, because you’re smiling.
Maybe he makes you just as nervous as you make him…
“Okay Nagi,” you grin and adjust the shotgun strap across your chest. “If we both survive this, I promise I’ll go out with you…but I have some high expectations. I want the most expensive flower arrangement money can buy.” 
“And what kind of flowers are you wishing for, gorgeous?” His voice is a sexy whisper, and Nagi didn’t even know he could be so seductive.
You jokingly roll your eyes at the pet name and toss him one of your inactive grenades, which he catches with ease, urging him to follow you into the chaos— but not before you give him the answer he so desperately desires.
“Snowdrops.”
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There are two things that Nagi has realized in the past thirty minutes. 
1.) He’s a lot more athletic than he thought he was. 
Running for a half an hour straight is something that he never imagined himself doing— especially considering that he’s never stepped one foot into a gym in his entire life. What he originally thought to be clumsiness, turns out to be raw strength untouched. You were right to assume that his lengthy limbs would do him some justice in the fight for his life, and he’s thankful for his towering height as he’s blocked falling debris from smacking you atop the head nearly five times now; though, he did miss a flying sneaker that happened to nail you straight in the nose. He’s trying his best, give him a break. 
2.) You might be a figment of his imagination. 
Sure, this idea is likely false as he definitely felt your weight when you were sent flying from a stray hand grenade and landed on top of him, but you just seem so perfect. Getting to know you has been a dream come to life— though making conversation while running for his life isn’t the easiest feat, he’s managing. Some of the things you’ve told him do seem to be made up, though. For instance, you were the culprit behind the plane crash and while he’d love to picture a sunsetting sky with the two of you floating in the breeze, you’re not going to be piloting that jet. However, he has to give you a break because he’s never flown anything other than pixelated aircrafts, especially aircrafts that contain a deadly monster oozing toxic gas that turns people into zombies. Yeah, he couldn’t quite believe that either.
“On your left!” The sound of your voice snaps him back into focus and he realizes there are four zombified citizens barreling your way. “I could use some help here!”
You definitely don’t need his help. For God’s sake you have a shotgun the size of your leg that’s already mowed down three of them and Nagi’s just barely getting used to the sound of the bang. So far he’s pretty much been useless if not for letting you know what’s coming up in the distance, and also being the absolute last resort solution— which is rare, but oh shit it’s happening right now! You’re out of shells! How exactly does he fire this thing again?
Shakily, he attempts to point his handgun in the direction of the lone zombie bounding towards you. “Deep breaths, Nagi! Focus and aim!” Your words of encouragement are appreciated, but ultimately useless as he desperately starts stray shooting. 
“Fucking aim!” You’re losing your patience for him so fast, to which he tries his best to calm down and breathe.
In and out.
His heart rate begins to slow.
Breathe and concentrate. 
His eyes become unclouded by his anxiety, and his vision clears. 
Lock on.
He has a mark on the target. 
With his pistol’s aim assist shining against the zombie’s forehead, he confidently fires a single bullet. It soars through the air, squealing in its flight, and he lets out a sigh of relief…a sigh that he exhaled far too early.
Aw shit, he missed. 
You grunt, bracing yourself against his bullet that ricochets off of the nearby telephone pole and grazes your right arm. He has a clear view of the scarlet blood dripping down your elbow and onto the pavement, and his heart feels heavy. He’s so fucking useless that he’s injuring you. Nagi doesn’t think it’s even possible to be worse at flirting than him; he can’t imagine that there are many guys who are accidentally shooting the girl they like, yet here he is. 
Thankfully, you being the badass agent you are, you’ve managed to reload your eleven shells of ammo in the time it took for him to fire one bullet— and you easily dissolve the zombie to bits and pieces. 
“Your aim can use a little work.” You snort, brushing your fingers against the small wound.
He rips the sleeve of his t-shirt off and attempts to wrap it around your arm. This is what you’re supposed to do, right? The only training he’s had in the medical field is from that one surgeon simulator game he played in middle school, and to be completely honest, it was a pretty good game! However, he’s definitely doing something wrong because you place your hand over his and show him how to properly treat an open wound. Normally, Nagi would be embarrassed that he’s failing so miserably right now— but honestly, the only thing on his mind is how this is the first time you’ve held his hand. He can’t tell if there are butterflies in his stomach or if the smell of blood is triggering vomit. Hopefully the former.
It’s no surprise that your perceptive self notices his focus on your intertwined hands, to which you take the lead and insist on pushing forward. “As romantic as this is, we should find some shelter before we get eaten in the midst of making out.” 
Oh?
“You want to make out with me?” 
Oof that slap hurt. His priorities clearly don’t align with yours.
“Okay, okay.” Nagi holds his hands up in surrender before you can smack his chest for a second time, and he’s finally able to notice your surroundings. Since when was the Mikage Buildingright behind you? Hm…the imminent fear of death must have distracted him. “My best friend’s family owns this tower here. I promise it’s safe.”
Your gaze narrows at the wall of glass windows that are seemingly spotless. There isn’t a single crack, faulty line, or zombie-sized hole that’s visible to the naked eye and he feels a little swell of pride for Reo’s family. Yeah, that’s right! My best friend’s parent’s architects are great at making buildings! It finally seems like he’s had his first good idea of the night, and Nagi couldn’t be more proud. Progress is progress (even if he shot you in the process)! 
“It looks good.” You nod in approval and begin cautiously making your way towards the doors.
While following closely behind, he watches your back and ensures that there’s no one on your trail; which isn’t difficult in the slightest. Most of the civilians have died by now and you’ve already cleared every undead in the area…without his help. He doesn’t know how he managed to be so lucky that he ended up with you, but he’s grateful for every second— and now that you’re finally in his familiar territory, he can finally show you what he’s worth. 
“There’s an elevator up these steps.” Nagi leads you up the grand staircase, remembering how he lazily trotted down it yesterday after Reo tried, once again, to convince him to join his football club. “I think it’ll work, I know they have emergency systems and everything.”
“I don’t know, Nagi…” your voice trails off, something amiss about it. “I just have a weird feeling about this place.”
“I promise Reo’s family’s going to take care of us, they’re the best.” He deflects your concerns, trusting that his friend will pull through and have some crazy solution to save the world. There’s never been a time where he couldn't count on Reo and as soon as you reach the top of these steps, you’ll agree. The text he sent out asking for help is almost delivered, just a few more seconds and that blue line will slide all the way to the right and Reo will be right down the elevator as soon as possible. 3…2…1…sent! There! You’ll both be saved!
But if Reo’s on the top floor in his room…why did his ringtone ding just meters away?
There’s a corpse laying in front of the elevator doors, mangled and bruised. How did Nagi not notice it before? Was he too distracted thinking of his closest and only friend he’s ever had? No way. The security team must have destroyed all of the zombies in the building already, he’s sure Reo and the others are fine— but why does that body look so familiar?
No.
It can’t be him. 
Three steps away. 
There’s got to be some kind of mistake here. A prank right?
Two steps away. 
He can’t be dead. His best friend can’t be dead!
One. 
“No…” With his voice trembling, he stands over his best friend’s body. Reo’s violet hair is drenched in blood, seemingly resembling the color of a plum rather than the typical lavender hue. If it were a normal day, Nagi would laugh at the awful color— telling his partner in crime that the shade didn’t suit him in the slightest and Reo would laugh in annoyance, aiming a ball straight for the taller boy’s head…but this isn’t a normal day. This is the end of the world; and that beautiful lavender flower that Nagi associated with his teammate is wilting. It’s dying. It’s dead along with the heartbeat within it. Reo is dead. 
“Nagi. I need you to step back slowly.” He spins to see you with your barrel aimed at Reo’s corpse, but he can’t seem to move. It’s almost as if he’s been stunned, frozen in place with frostbite cementing his legs to the granite floors, and mouth encased in ice. He’s so overwhelmed that he can’t even open his mouth to give you a warning that there’s something moving behind you. Why can’t he speak? He needs to tell you! However, right when his teeth quiet their jitter, you’re tackled to the ground with a loud pummel. 
Immediately, gunshots ring out in the grand hall. You’re firing in every direction in an attempt to blast off your opponent, but this zombie is particularly agile and you don’t have much room to move with your large shotgun…looking back in retrospect, giving Nagi your only handgun wasn’t the greatest idea.
“C’mon!” Repeatedly, you call out to him, but he remains paralyzed in fear. “Stop being useless!”
He watches as you struggle to wrestle off the infected woman, grunting and groaning with every punch you deal to its face. The skin on her cheeks is almost a greyish shade, discolored and decaying with a potent smell that burns his nostrils. It’s hard to tell who’s who under the blanket of shadows she’s trapped you under, but occasionally he catches a glimpse of golden eyes that tell him the zombie is still alive. 
Somehow, with your almost supernatural raw strength, you’re able to hook your thighs around the zombie’s neck— pinning it down to the pearly floors and trapping it beneath your weight. It claws and cries out, desperately trying to escape your grasp, and Nagi almost feels bad for it. Just a few hours ago, this woman had a life. A real life that she likely looked forward to living every day; and now she’s nothing but a brainless carnivore with cannibalistic intentions. She could’ve been a mother. There could be a little boy out there missing her and waiting for her to come home, tell him that he’s safe, and that everything is going to be alright. When was the last time Nagi talked to his own mother? Why does he deserve to live and this woman doesn’t? Why is he so special that he was saved, while the rest of Tokyo was left to rot? 
It isn’t fair. 
None of it is fair.
He doesn’t deserve to live. He doesn’t deserve to be here. 
He’s taken his life for granted from the moment he learned to walk. Why should you be wasting your time trying to get him to safety when he’s nothing more than absolutely useless? He needs to help.
He needs to be brave…
…but he misses his chance once more. 
Letting out a wailing scream, you muster up enough energy to crush the woman’s head between your thighs, and Nagi is splattered with blood and guts. He doesn’t know how you’re so strong— it’s almost eerie in a way— but he’s more concerned with the state of your well-being. The look of exhaustion in your eyes acts as a glaring sun against his icy posture, and his feet are thawed from the floor, rushing towards you in mere seconds. 
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he kneels on the ground before you and cups your face closely, “Hey— hey, don’t close your eyes. I’m right here. Please stay awake.” Nagi doesn’t think his voice has ever been so gentle nor has he ever felt this kind of worry for a girl before. Sure, he hasn’t known you for long, but he knows he can’t go on without you. You’re a team and a team sticks together. You can’t die right here! He’s not going to allow that!— but before he can lift you up like the knight in shining armour he wishes he could be, there’s a faint rustling behind him…a familiar rustling. Nagi knows that sound. He knows those movements. He’s heard them a million times and he’d be able to recognize them even in the midst of Shibuya Crossing in the busy hours. 
Where did Reo’s body go?
Perhaps it dissolved or maybe it was kicked aside in the midst of your fight. 
That has to be it, right? Where else could he be?
Nagi’s confusion is understandable. He’s thinking rationally given the circumstances and his heartbeat is somewhat steady. The mass of his body hovers over yours in a protective stance, like a dragon guarding a princess, and for once he appears to be confident. However, that confidence has been set aflame. He can feel his blood racing, burning through his veins in fear and distress, and he wishes he could simply rip his vitals from his skin to destroy the wretched emotions. The sight before him is something out of a horror movie…a horror movie where Nagi is the main character. 
“Oh fuck.” 
Reo leaps out of the shadows before Nagi can even react. 
There’s a blur of hands and feet, hitting and kicking at each other, and the snow haired boy never knew he was this agile. Reo is clearly doing his best to hit Nagi’s vital arteries; to which he’s blocking each attack with his forearms. This is chaos. He doesn't even have a second to think for himself and consider the possibility of blasting Reo’s head off with his handgun. He can’t do that…this is his best friend! 
As Nagi’s leg lines up to knock him off his feet, Reo lunges down and grabs a hold of it. In a panic, he attempts to shake his friend off— wiggling his leg up and down whilst reaching for his combat knife in his back pocket— and slices the skin in between Reo’s forearm and bicep…which is ultimately ineffective. Oh, shit he just got angrier! Growling, zombie-fied Reo clasps his hands around Nagi’s waist, lifting him off the ground with ease and throwing him into the elevator doors. The sound of his body slamming against the metal slab rings out, echoing in the grand foyer and deafening Nagi’s left ear. His breathing is heavy and he feels like he can’t get a single ounce of air in his lungs. Everything seems to be blurry, foggy with mist covering his irises as he attempts to see what’s right in front of him. 
A carnivorous Reo…
…and an unconscious you.
It’s clear to him what’s going on. There are two outcomes to this horrific situation and whatever decision Nagi makes is going to impact the rest of his life. 
1.) Let you go and join the afterlife with his best friend. 
2.) Save you and never see his best friend again. 
His heart is at war within himself. One side fighting for Reo, the boy he’s known for so long. The boy he’s laughed and cried with. The boy who knows everything about him. The boy who believed in him when no one else did…until you came along. 
Just the thought of seeing your lifeless eyes, bloodied body, and severed limbs flips a switch inside him— and Nagi finally comes to realize what’s happening. This isn’t Reo. This shell of a man with a monstrous hunger isn’t his best friend. Reo is a ghost now. He doesn’t exist anymore and now his body is being possessed by the undead, or whatever zombies are. He can miss his friend all he wants, but that doesn’t change the fact that the thing creeping towards you is nothing but a stranger who knows all of Nagi’s secrets. 
It’s time for him to fight to live. 
As he swiftly stands and tackles Reo to the floor, a wave of memories flash before Nagi’s eyes. 
The moment he first heard Reo’s voice. It was light and friendly. He had used a tone that Nagi hadn’t ever heard before, and although he had no interest in playing soccer, he still wanted to impress the popular boy— not because he wanted a higher status or a girlfriend, but because he knew this stranger needed a friend…and he really needed a friend, too. 
His palms grip Reo’s throat, ripping him off of your body.
The first time Reo laughed at something he said. It wasn’t intended to be funny, but the plum-haired boy couldn’t help but burst into a fit of giggles and Nagi found himself laughing as well. Sitting in the school courtyard, side-by-side with crumbling onigiri falling from their mouths, there’s no doubt that they looked like two elementary schoolers finding humor in something obscurely immature— but despite that, it’s one of his fondest memories. 
Reo struggles against Nagi’s weight, pinned to the floor with nowhere to run.
When he’d first shown him his concerningly large collection of video games, Reo hadn’t batted an eye. In fact, the very next day, Nagi received a friend request from him. Which seemed like a small act at the time, until he found out that Reo had gone to the tech store and purchased an entire PC set up just so he could be the Player 2 to Nagi’s Player 1. They were partners in both the real and virtual world— an unstoppable pair that won more tournaments as time went on— and Nagi will never clean out his xbox inventory filled with their trophies. 
His finger grazes the trigger.
This is it. 
No more memories.
It’s time to say goodbye.
In movies, when the protagonist has to kill their loved one, a single tear rolls down their cheek. 
For Nagi, his face drowns in his cries. 
“I’m sorry.” 
He’s gone.
“I love you.”
Reo’s body dissolves into ash…
…then dust…
…then nothing. 
“I’m so sorry.”
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PART TWO COMING IN THE NEAR FUTURE (i’m a slow writer pls forgive me)
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⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⊹₊。 reblogs are greatly appreciated! ˚₊⊹
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dorito1133 · 10 days
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Single frames
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'Evil Dorito' with the girls🐱🐭
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He's pretty normal with them. Definitely gives Michy more attention than everyone else. And if Callista was in The AU, he would also definitely give her a lot of...¿attention?
Characters used here: @scummiezzz @michellemouse @churrothezanyrabbit
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corporatefrog · 11 months
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╭₊˚ ๑︰Playing Mario Kart with Team Stan [headcannon + oneshot]
✧.* tags: college au
✧.* Characters: stan marsh, kenny mccormick, kyle broflovski, butters scotch
a/n: i love mario kart so much. I'm kind of awesome at it not to brag or anything (literally no lmaoo) I usually play luigi with the sports bike but I'd probably play dry bones if he was taken
masterlist
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Kenny plays Dry Bones or Shy Guy
Kyle plays Toad or Luigi
Stan plays Yoshi or like the male villager 
Butters plays Rosalina (ofc. She’s the best one fr) or fucking baby peach
“Butters why the fuck are you playing as baby peach. No one is playing peach. You can be regular peach.”
“But she’s just a lil fella going through the world!” 
“SHE LEGALLY CANNOT DRIVE”
Yall make your own grand prix with electrodome, music park, maple treeway, and super bell subway (coconut mall if you’re playing the Wii version)
Loser of each grand prix switches out and you keep racking up points until the end of the night
LOTS of smack talk
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Through the open window of the upstairs bedroom of the Marsh house on Tegridy Farms, a war brewed. The sounds flowing out the window stood in stark contrast to the peaceful night. A silent breeze rustled the budding cannabis plants, a soft movement that seemed to snap in the other direction as a wave of shouts pushed against the calm wind. 
“Good to know Stan’s still in last place where he belongs” 
“Well at least I’m not Kenny who needs an extra lightweight character to be farther than 6th”
Zooming into the room, a chaotic scene stood in stark contrast to the peaceful night. Various bags of chips scattered Cheeto and Dorito crumbs across the ground to be pulverized into the rug by sock covered feet. A hand pushed aside one of the bags, sending another wave of crumbs onto the ground as they reached for a can of soda. 
Kenny lifted the can to his lips. He drank with one hand angled to the side of his face to keep his eyes on the television screen. Finishing the drink with a loud sigh, he returned the drink to the ground to refocus his attention on the game. And on shit talking Stan. 
“Sorry I don’t listen to people who still drink Svedka.” He remarked, leaning his shoulder to the side as the cart with Dry Bones drifted around a corner. The trial of the cart sparked orange then purple as the speed boost charged. Dry Bones shot forward once the curve ended and pulled ahead of the NPC Bowser kart. 
“That’s rich coming from someone who chugged a week old borg with mountain dew and pinot.” Stan retorted. 
I gasped from my spot on the bed, attention breaking slightly to give Kenny a disgusted look, “Ew dude! Why the fuck did you do that?” I asked despite knowing the answer. There’s only one person who would make Kenny do something stupid like that. The one person who hasn’t been invited to the monthly Mario Kart tournaments in years because he’s a stupid idiot bozo.
“Cartman bet me $50 I couldn’t do it without puking-” Kenny’s response shifted tone as a red shell sent his cart flying off the end of the track “HEY WHAT THE FUCK KYLE! I WAS ALMOST WINNING!” He shouted as the perpetrator snickered on the floor. 
“Yeah, because 4th place is winning- god dammit!” Kyle cursed as his own cart slipped on a banana peel. My character threw a fist in the air to cheer the successful sabotage. 
“I really don’t know why you guys care so much about what place you get,” I mused as my kart pulled across the finish line, the large 1st Place symbol in the corner of my screen announcing the victory, “You’ll never be able to beat a god anyway.” A comical evil laugh boomed from my mouth, my arms raising to the sky as though calling upon the heavens to thank for my continuous win streak. 
Butters jumped up from the beanbag to add another 15 points to my total bringing it to a strong 45 after I’d won the two races prior. 
“I literally sent three blue shells at you. How the fuck did you still win?” Stan complained as he fell back against the bed, control dangling loosely from the wrist strap wrapped around his hand. 
Butters jumped in with a finger raised, “Oh well that’s because they look on the reddit forums during our philosophy class-” I leapt from my spot, rushing to reach Butters before he revealed my secret. My hand covered his mouth as I gave him a pointed ‘don’t you even think about it’ look. 
Turning back to the group with a shaky laugh, I waved off what Butters had almost said. “A Mario Kart god never reveals their secrets. Can’t have the mortals trying techniques they can’t master.” I gave Butters a pat on the shoulder, adding a warning squeeze before returning to my remote. Love the guy but he’s going to be the death of me one day, I swear. 
“Yeah, yeah” Kenny rolled his eyes, “I was just warming up anyway.” He stretched his arms above his head with an over exaggerated yawn. Grabbing his remote in one hand and a soda can in the other, he readied himself for the final race of the first round. 
“Okay? Then get better already? I’m hoping for a little bit of competition this time. Stan might even beat you if you keep racing like shit.” I snapped back at him with a wicked grin. A middle finger pointed my way came from Stan alongside some grumbled comebacks that weren’t loud enough to be heard. 
We all readed ourselves for the final tack, hearts racing in sync as the counter ticked down
3…
I hovered my finger over the accelerator. Not yet.
2…
Four fingers simultaneously pushed down on the controller as wheels spun in place on the screen.
1…
Butters gripped the whiteboard marker in his seat, falling victim to the infectious adrenaline of the room. 
GO!
And we were off.
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ask-churro · 2 months
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uhh finally actually made another blo g
an actual ASK blog WOAA‼️‼️
the current churros are:
churro
ronpaandfriends churro
prisoner churro
prince churro
evil churro/helpless churro (pretty much the same but evil churro got revenge on evil dorito in the other version of the raf au)
hazbin/helluva churro (i don’t support viv but i like the shows shut up)
gambler churro
lil demon churro (there’s context i swear [no there’s not {almost none}])
baby/kid churro
wednesday’s infidelity churro
yandere churro
spider-rabbit churro
ask any of them really
some have backstory and others don’t, some just exist bc i wanted to make them skwjjsjsj
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soniccrazygal · 6 months
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Hi, for the Mike Pines au, since the multiverse is a concept in there what do you think would be the reaction Micheal would have at the bad end friends au (if you don't know what it is, it's basically on the name, a bunch of cartoon or game characters having bad endings, even if not necessarily canon, and they all just kinda form an evil group that causes chaos on multiple universes). Like for example: Bipper himself, i feel like that would just be a gut punch for the Pines family in general since that timeline means that not only our favorite dorito demon won, but also stole Dipper's body just for the lols, but with Birthday Mabel ? (basically Mabel, but she stayed stuck on the bubble and went mad in her loliness) i feel like they would just be even more enraged at Bill than they already were.
Considering that FNAF 3 also has a bad ending i'm pretty sure that seeing a vengeful version of the missing children + Evan would just break Mike's heart since it means that there was a version of him that failed to free those spirits (especially when i see their particular bad ending as the children trying to find a way to kill WIlliam in every reality/timeline/universe he exist instead of trying to move one, maybe even with vengeful Evan leading the ghost crew alongside Cassidy in their 'mission')
Oh yeah. Mike would absolutely be devastated to see his adopted siblings and the others in such a state. While he’s definitely aware the multiverse means every senecio, both good and bad, probably exists put there somewhere, he doesn’t want those bad things to happen to anyone.
The real question though, is the Mike from the bad end of the Mike Pines AU there too?
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not-this-guy · 1 year
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my most stupid and beloved au is a non-game au where in bro is just like that, its the brain damage, yea? but lil cal is a parrot. a horrible, huge ancient rescue parrot that’s older than him, nearly entirely bald but still manages to fly -- but only when you’re not looking. bro dresses it up in little outfits, hoodies and chains that he made. half the reason he remembers to eat and feed dave is because the cursed thing won’t stop screaming at him and trying to claw his eyes out if he’s late by a second. if he’s lying on the futon playing video games the parrot will be sitting on his chest and feeding him doritos. lil cal can mimic some phrases (bro, sup dude, aight, lil cal in the house - to name a few), but it mostly communicates by cackling ominously from the other side of the apartment - and beatboxing - if it starts beatboxing you better be ready with rhymes or it will bite you.  lil cal can open cabinets, doors and window latches if they’re not locked, and it’s always two steps behind bro. bro and it are as co-dependent as a man and his ancient evil parrot can be - he loves it more than he loves himself and dave combined. like come on, look at it. what could be better than this fugly looking parrot that only he can control - said by the man who has effectively been conditioned by the parrot instead.
to dave, bro’s the eternal “he’s not that bad”/”he don’t bite” in relation to lil cal, but like. the parrot absolutely is that bad and it does like picking on children - which dave happens to be for the entirety of his stay under bro’s roof. it’s not as vicious towards dave as it is towards bro, but the psychological torture is real - you haven’t known fear until a flying parrot drops a glass cup behind you and then sits there cackling down at you from the top of the door - effectively blaming you for the cup breaking, or scratches at your door trying to shimmy it open in the middle of the night while going hehehohohaha, like normal parrots are obviously known to do.
but hey lil cal rules, end of discussion.
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earisridesagain · 1 year
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Earis Recs 4.1 - I Put A Spell On You
Witch!Rey has definitely put a spell on me.
When Rey is a witch, I know I'm going to have a good time reading. The identity of ‘witch’ serves as a great lens to look at Rey’s self-sufficiency, knowledge, and power - along with digging into her loneliness and lack of trust. Plus, I love stories about badass witches and Rey is such a good one. Most witch!Rey stories are au’s - usually historical fantasy or modern urban fantasy. They run the gamut from fun and cute to dark and violent. In many of them, Kylo Ren/Ben Solo is also non-human, such as a vampire, werewolf, or demon, but sometimes he is a human. I don't have any canonverse fic where Rey is a type of witch, like a Nightsister. So, if anyone knows one, please send it my way. Otherwise - enjoy!
Also on Dreamwidth and Twitter
1. The Witch in the Wood
Authors: HarpiaHarpyja and Inmyownidiom Tumblr for HarpiaHarpyja Twitter for HarpiaHarpyja Twitter for inmyownidiom
This was one of the first ‘Rey is a witch’ fics I ever read and it’s enchanting, no pun intended. Set in a fantasy world, Kylo Ren is a knight who fights monsters to defend the kingdom and make up for his crimes. He takes on an assignment to rescue a beautiful princess from an evil witch. But when he makes his way into the forest, he meets Rey, a lovely, brilliant, independent young witch who happens to look like a woman from Kylo’s dreams. Rey is equally intrigued by Kylo and the way he makes her feel, but she also has to deal with an evil poisoning her forest.
Status: Complete Rating: Explicit Warnings: violence and gore, necessary patricide, angst
2. The Devil Is Not as Black As He Is Painted
Author: aemondkinslayerx (could not find other socials)
Rey is a young witch, and not quite as successful as she would like. Plus, she has finals and they are kicking her ass, so she tries to do a little spell to help herself out. Only she accidentally calls on a lord of hell named Kylo (or Ben) and now she is stuck in a small apartment with a demon trapped in a summoning circle until she can find a spell to return him whence he came. Good thing he likes scarfing Doritos and binging sitcoms.
Status: Complete Rating: Mature Warnings: A little bit dub-con, if you squint; Kylo gets a bit possessive
3. Nine in the Afternoon
Author: RamboBrite Twitter Tumblr
Rey is very happy working for Luke in his magical apothecary shop. The only fly in the ointment is Luke’s nephew, a snooty asshole who thinks he is too good for retail and too big for the shop. One day, however, Luke leaves Rey in charge of the shop, and in charge of his naughty nephew. The same day, the shop receives a shipment of a very potent batch of a very special pollen. Can you guess what happens? (n.b. This is also a sex pollen fic!)
Status: Complete Rating: Mature Warnings: Dub-Con due to Sex Pollen
4. Good Fences
Author: quamquam20 Tumblr Twitter
For me, this is THE Witch!Rey + Vamp!Ben fic. It’s got everything - independent, creative, brave, compassionate Rey and moody, mysterious, dangerous, but oddly gentle Ben. Magical artifacts, interesting rules, and of course, hot sex.
Status: Complete Rating: Explicit Warnings: Violence
5. Our Endless Numbered Days
Author: frito_reys Twitter Tumblr
This fic is not yet complete, but I HAD to rec it. One of my historical interests is the Salem witch trials, mostly because they are a truly bizarre moment in history and a revelatory glimpse into the worst of human behavior. Here, Ben is Magistrate Judge and is part of the witch trials, but his wife, Rey is definitely a witch. So, go read, and give love and comments to the author.
Status: Not finished, 1/3 chapters Rating: Explicit Warnings: Historical accurate misogyny, temporary character death, historical accurate violence and injustice
6. The Baker and the Lily
Author: steelandtemper
Werewolf Ben is very intrigued when a woman moves to the edge of the town where he is the baker, and learns that she is a witch. He is concerned for her because the town might now be very friendly to a witch, and because her cottage is dangerously close to the territory of his old pack.
Status: Complete Rating: Teen and Up Warnings: Some Violence
7. Unfamiliar
Author: SolarLilith Twitter Tumblr
Rey is a witch and binds a demon, Kylo Ren, as her familiar. After a horrible attack forces Rey to drop her wards, he reverses their situation and binds her as his familiar, bound to serve him and all his violent whims. DARK.
Status: Complete Rating: Explicit Warnings: Dark Fic, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat; Rape/Non-Con, Murder, Violence, Gore, Sexual Slavery, Forced Pregnancy, Forced Body Modification, Forced Lactation
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churrothezanyrabbit · 3 months
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uhh here’s part one!!
tw for str@ngl1ng and d3ath threats and (possible) manipulation n whatever else
read at your own risk probably
it had been a long day for everyone, and nobody was exactly in the greatest of moods. well, that was except for the short lucky-go-happy Churro. seemed tons like they were always happy, but that could easily be changed with the simplest of circumstances. or worse. but it wasn’t like that could change permanently, right? Churro had finished speaking with another toon in the prison-like building, however something slipped and they managed to fix the mistake, but seemed to quickly hurry back to their designated room they were assigned before asked anything else. what they didn’t know was someone had been listening in secret, and somehow, they hadn’t noticed.
twenty minutes had passed before Churro heard…slightly aggressive knocking on their door. it made them flinch a little, but they got up off their bed slowly and came to the door with hesitance, but half way there it opened on its own. the rabbit forgot to lock it this time, as they usually locked it before doing anything, really. the door opened and the knocker was revealed to be…Dorito? Churro seemed to immediately connect the dots in their head as soon as they saw the shielded look in his eyes. the tall fox toon stepped forward and Churro proceeded backwards slowly, Dorito following at the same speed.
“..afternoon, Churro, how are you?” Dorito asked.
“o-oh i’m- i-i’m fine-” Churro’s voice was shaky as they spoke, but they tried to hide it, clearing their throat. “a- and you-?” the rabbit added.
“i’m quite fine myself. i noticed you come to your room earlier than usual, are you sure something isn’t wrong, friend?” the fox urged on.
“i- yep-! just fine and dandy, th-thanks..” Churro continued slowly walking backwards, staring up at Dorito as he continued slowly approaching, hands peculiarly behind his back.
“how come your voice is shaking when you speak?”
“i-i- w-well i mean you’re a-approaching me and you s-seem mad s-so—“
“-oh i’m not mad.” Dorito quickly cut Churro off. odd. one of his ears twitched a bit and he continued approaching anyway, making the small rabbit continue backing up.
“th-then why’re you- uh- y-y’know-?”
“because. i want to talk to you.”
“..b-but it doesn’t mean you- g-gotta approach me, i-i can hear ya just fine, Dorito.. you’re.. acting weird—“
“do not accuse me of such behavior, Churro. i’m perfectly fine, you just don’t seem to understand how my emotions process.”
Churro seemed to flinch at the tone, glancing back at the up and coming wall they were close to backing into, and then back up at Dorito. the nonchalant questions continued for a brief moment longer before the anxious rabbit touched the wall, in which they froze.
"..u-uhm.."
Dorito became silent, staring down at Churro in a way he never had before. it...was scary, especially for the little rabbit. his eyes seemed to almost pierce through them, too. the fox, however, spoke up again. but this time, he had gotten down and in Churro's face, and in a cold, quiet, menacing tone, he asked another, scarier question.
"i presume you thought it was just.. oh-so funny, to rat me out to someone else, did you?" that didn't sound good. Churro went silent, but as they went to explain...
"gNK-!"
Dorito held Churro just three or four inches above the ground with his large hands clasped tightly around the smaller rabbit's smaller neck. he was strangling Churro, and...really aggressively. the rabbit immediately tried to get Dorito to let go, trying to gasp for air weakly and flailing one arm at him with their claws, attempting to scratch at him. they, however, could thump one foot on the wall to try and get the attention of someone. unfortunately, Dorito seemed to notice and spot this action, which made him tighten his grip and make them stop. the strangling continued for four to five minutes longer before footsteps were heard approaching. Dorito quickly dropped Churro and kneeled down beside the rabbit, who was now coughing and breathing heavily, holding their neck with one hand, but gentler. Churro seemed to have coughed up some slight blood as well. the footsteps were those of Oswald, who peeked in and noticed Churro in the condition they were in.
"what- what happened-?" Oswald asked, standing in the doorway.
Dorito placed a hand among Churro's back as he lied and explained, “Churro was choking on food, i helped them lodge it out. it was scary for the lil thing. right." the fox looked down at the rabbit, who flinched when they felt his hand. Churro slightly glanced up at Dorito, and then quickly back down with quick nods and small coughs.
"m-mhm- d-damn ch- cheese slice-" the rabbit added. they were scared of what would happen if they didn't agree.
"o-oh- well uhm.. do ya need anymore help-?"
"no, we're fine." Dorito quickly replied, not letting the small rabbit answer for themself.
"..a-alright.. hope ya feel betta' then, Churro.." Oswald waved to Churro and left, and once he was fully gone, Dorito stood over Churro.
"get up."
"..i-i—“
“i said get up, damnit." quickly, Churro scrambled to stand, their legs shaky and barely able to hold them up. they still refused to look up at Dorito, but he still made them look up at him anyway, kind of gripping their face a bit in a harsh manner and forcing eye contact. scary eye contact.
"this is just a warning. sleep with an eye open tonight, maybe two if you're too pathetically paranoid." the fox seemed to harshly let go, sort of pushing them back and making them fall back onto the ground. "be lucky i didn't kill you. if i kept at it i definitely would've. you best keep your mouth wired shut about this encounter."
"..." Churro said nothing, too afraid to. so instead, the rabbit simply nodded. their breathing was raspy and they held their neck, softly rubbing it with a few winces. it was definitely going to be bruised, that was for sure.
"i'll be on my way. again, not a word about this. i will find out.” and with that, Dorito fixed himself up a bit and quickly left Churro's room, going back to his own, which, unfortunately for Churro, was a little ways down that same hallway.
the rabbit stood again shakily and just decided to go take a shower themself, locking their door real tight. god...what the hell? Churro knew it was an accident. they had no means to do so. it wasn't even their fault. it just slipped, that's all. well, if that fox wasn't going to listen to what Churro had tried to explain, then so be it. that fox wouldn't be getting forgiveness any time soon anyhow.
"..i-i'll have to make up an excuse f-for why i sound hoarse.." they mumbled to themself, their voice indeed hoarse.
about fifteen minutes later, Churro exited the shower, dried themself off, got clothed, and laid down. they didn't sleep yet though, if at all.
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berd-alert · 1 year
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occasionally I am seized with awful, inescapable brainrot and it makes doing anything that is not the brainrot activity nigh on impossible to think about.  In other news, I accidentially started doing a therapy at myself using my unhinged au skills and the evil dorito man
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marigolddraw · 3 years
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Bill Cipher human sketch
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galaxina-the-pyro · 3 years
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To put it simple, I’ve recently become enamored with an AU that was requested of me a while ago on dA - it involved swapping the roles of Phinabella and Aliceshmirtz (Doofenshmirtz x my OC Schnitzel). And now, I kinda wanna write a “what-if” fan fic where Phineas is the evil scientist Perry is tasked with thwarting, while Dr. D is a wacky inventor who builds things for children or something.
Ferb’s a robot in this AU.
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danguy96 · 4 years
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So, I was thinking about this post I made a while ago, as well as an art request I made, and I started thinking about some stuff for this AU/Crackfic stuff, and I eventually came to this conclusion (it’s a far-fetched parallel, but hear me out):
Steven in SU Vanilla:
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Is to
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Steven in the Movie/parts of Future
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Is to this
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As well as this
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So that would mean that Steven in the other parts of Future, especially the later parts (I know some of these are from earlier, so consider these as placeholders)
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Would be to this
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Then, if the theories do turn out to be, that would mean that this...
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Oh...
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Ohhhhh....
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Ohhhhh Noooooooo......
What have I done?
(yes, I realize that I just came up with yet another”Bad End Friends” AU)
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thebashfulartist · 4 years
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Wow, my first art piece in literally months! This is my version of a human Bill Cipher; 12 years old and just trying to live his goddamn life. <3
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