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punkpandapatrixk · 5 days

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❣️How Abnormal Are You in Love? ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

Don’t be too hard on yourself with this PAC. Everybody in this world’s pretty much abnormal anyway. We all want something that’s extremely rare in this world: Love. Sometimes, we go crazy after mistaking shit for Love. But we all heal. Eventually, we all learn to love more healthily and sanely. And really, that’s all that matters. The crazy is also part of the character development~♥︎

☆♪°・.

‘Hey, actually, when was it that I began to realise that there’s no such thing as forever? Even so, I’m prouder than anybody else about the fact that the days we spent together were at least not a lie.

Even though it’s true that the length of time we have lived is only slightly different, just the fact that we met, that we loved, though we may never love each other again… I won’t forget.

Hey, why do I still want you by my side, thinking that I won’t do without you, even though this is hurting me so much? Even so, I became a person who could be grateful for the smallest things in life. It’s because, even the most casual of words were so meaningful between us.

Because we met, because we loved, though we may never love each other again…I’ll be fine with turning all of it into proof that I’ll survive, whilst facing all of truth and reality.

I’m just glad that we met. I’m just glad that we loved. Though we may never see each other again… I won’t forget.’

☆♪°・.

Those are words from Ayumi Hamasaki’s legendary song, LOVE ~Destiny~. At some point in Life, Ayumi said in an interview, ‘I loved one man so much that I destroyed myself.’ I can’t help but think this song could be about…it? Maybe hahah Just a vibe, gals~♡

SONG: LOVE ~Destiny~ by Hamasaki Ayumi

MOVIE: Snakes and Earrings (2008)

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 3]

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – What I Can’t Let Go Of, Really, Is My Pride…

VIBE: kiss by Chara

what is, Love? – 4 of Swords

Well, it seems quite obvious your past was somewhat chaotic. I think throughout childhood you felt like you were crossing a battlefield or had to fight the stormy seas all by yourself. Because of this, you deeply crave a Love that can put an end to all of those noises. In fact, it’s only fitting. Deep down you’ve always known that Love is something that’s pure, sweet and gentle; that it’s supposed to put you at ease. You understand that the world is in chaos because nobody has Love in their hearts.

You, never wanted to be like those grownups who were fighting with their own spouses. Even if you’re young, you feel like an Old Soul—the only one who seems to truly understand what Love is and is not. And you see that 99% of people literally don’t know what Love is, let alone how to love right. And you’re afraid. What if you can’t find that one person who can love you right?

Deep in your subconscious, you have these standards and ideals you desperately want to maintain. But nobody you’ve ever met seems to understand where you’re coming from. What you want is something so pure. People are rarely pure of heart, so nobody gets it. And it feels incredibly lonely. And at some point, you might’ve begun to doubt if your standards are even fair…

why do you chase, Love? – King of Wands Rx

So you grew up a bit and began to wonder what might happen if you lower your standards…a bit? You want to experience passion, right? You’re seeing all these peers around you kissing and holding each other and you crave that, too. You know very well it’s not like they’re in love—they’re just silly, infatuated, hormonal fuckers; but you wonder how it would feel to be intimate with someone. To actually have someone want you like that. To be wanted. To be held. To be kissed. To be…loved. No matter how shallowly.

Now you’re willing to look for someone passionate. You could try with a puzzling character. You like that kinda shit. Any kind of an intriguing fucker with some semblance of a mystery; making you curious to dive deep into their side of crazy. How do I figure out your particular brand of bullshit? Anybody you can’t immediately figure out would excite you to a point of insanity. And you thought this was happiness. You thought, this level of excitement surely must be happiness. Perhaps…even Love? Otherwise…

How do you explain this feeling that suddenly strikes, rattling your heartstrings, making you realise that there’s somebody in this world you’d want to care for other than yourself? Just the idea that you even fantasise about growing older with this mysterious fucker… How is this not, Love? And if this isn’t Love…what is? How else are people supposed to know happiness if this excitement alone isn’t enough?

what happens when Love, dies? – 8 of Cups Rx

To begin with, you’re not one to trust easily. It takes a lot for you to allow someone to see your vulnerable side. And when you go in, you go all in. It may not feel like it immediately because you’re cautious, but once you’re in…because you feel sure of someone…you’re in deep. Too deep it feels like you’re drowning in this whole situation, if anything. And you’re proud of how much you’re able to give.

And…you’re generally proud of your boundaries and the standards and ideals you’ve imposed upon yourself and others. So, the fact that you’ve given so much, revealed so much to someone who wouldn’t be there for life, is beyond frustrating. It’s world-shattering, at least. What have I been in this situationship/relationship for if it ain’t gonna last?!?! I can’t just let it die like that! Maybe I’m doing something wrong?! I must’ve! Lest none of this would’ve happened…

When Love dies, it feels so shameful. It’s a shame you trusted the wrong fucker. It’s a shame someone was able to see you that vulnerable. It’s disgusting that you thought this was The One. What was I thinking? Now everything becomes clear. It’s not the loss of that person’s Love you’re crying about. If you’re being honest now, you couldn’t care less that such a loser’s gone from your world. If anything, it’s such a relief. It was just the shock from knowing you made a mistake that made you cry… It’s OK now.

MY HEART, MY PRIDE🔻💜

sacrifices I’d made – Green Magus (John Magus)

I’m glad I was able to love – Priestess of Ambition

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – I Can’t Tell If I’m Passionate or Just Immature

VIBE: Boys & Girls by Hamasaki Ayumi

what is, Love? – Ace of Pentacles Rx

To begin with, you’re not exactly a rational person. Not saying you’re dumb! You just have a lot of passion for something that’s unexpected or foreign. You like mysteries and you aren’t afraid to dip your toe in uncharted waters. This desire could’ve developed from having a childhood that felt constricted tho. I think you grew up surrounded by so many rules and laws and forbidden things and that’s how you developed a taste for, DANGER~

It’s exciting, from time to time, to think about throwing all your caution to the wind and breaking all rules. You want to disappoint. If you’re being honest, you’re damn tired of following everybody’s whims and concerning yourself with their expectations. What about what I want?? You want to live. You want to feel alive. There are so many exciting things outside of your everyday Life, why can’t you have any of that? At some point, you could’ve dreamt of being rescued from your Tower by a handsome daredevil of any kind of a fucker.

If that fucker happens to be handsome and rich, even better. But that doesn’t really matter. You just want someone brave enough to approach you and actually uproot you from your boring Life. Surely, Love can do that to a person…? I don’t need stability, let alone predictability; what I want is a romantic hero who’ll take me on a grand adventure of Love! And if that daredevil happens to be dumb…

why do you chase, Love? – 9 of Swords

In many ways, you’re totally not an innocent person. You want to hurt. If whoever daredevil tries to fulfil your fantasies of being rescued from your miserable Tower happens to be dumb, you’re gonna be having a field trip! XD You want to terrorise and traumatise a person, really. It’s vengeance for all the years that you were serving others. Now, it’s your time to be served. It doesn’t even matter if they don’t worship you. You’re ready to find another dumbfuck to toy with. You’re hardly ever sincere anyway~

Why bother with sincerity? Ever since you were a kid, you’ve observed that none of the adults you knew was ever sincere. What even is Love? I think you know of it conceptually. But what exactly is its purpose? What exactly is so good about it? And how? How exactly must one be in order to attain it? You don’t believe in it some days. You deeply crave it some days. You could die for it some days. You want others to die for your Love most days.

Life is confusing. Love is confusing. Sex is easy. Money is easy. Food and jewelleries are easy. Let’s live easily. Life is exhausting if you think too much about everything that could go wrong. I’m done feeling terrible about my own existence, so I want someone to spin me around and make me forget. That’s ideal. Is generally your motto when chasing… Love♡

what happens when Love, dies? – 8 of Wands Rx

You don’t care about it. You don’t particularly care about losing people. It’s expected. If anything, because you’re never serious with quite anybody anyway, ghosting is the best way to go about it. You’re the type to ghost, block, and you don’t even mind if you’re the one ghosted or blocked. Basically, you just don’t want any contact with someone you’ve lost interest in anyway. So that only makes it easier for you.

In many ways, I think you sometimes regret being this kind of a callous person. There are days you wonder if you’ll become someone more sincere. You’ve wondered what it would take to actually love someone. To actually be loved back. Surely that must be so nice. You want to be happy, honestly. But it feels like a distant daydream. You don’t particularly understand how two people can be happy living together. After all, you find people exhausting most of the time.

All you know is that you’ve lived with yourself for the longest time. And if you have to compromise or sacrifice anything…you’re not willing. You’ve sacrificed shit before, a looong time ago, and you got nothing back in return. You gave someone a rose and they gave you back thorns and strangled you with it. Surely that can’t be happiness. Two people who don’t know how to love can’t be happy together. Life is better lived alone.

MY HEART, MY PRIDE🔻❤️

sacrifices I’d made – Red Alchemist (John Dee)

I’m glad I was able to love – Priestess of Innocence

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – Damn, Why’s Everybody Crying for Love?

VIBE: Sunglasses by Utada Hikaru

what is, Love? – 2 of Cups Rx

Uhm…you’re a comical Pile for sure. Your psychology is so complex, although it’s also super straightforward (to you), but some people are not gonna have an easy time figuring out if you’re sincere or not. Most of us have got a lot of exposure to tragical romance, right? A lot of people get deep and insane in Love. And here you are wondering why everybody’s crying for Love. Why is everybody suffering in the name of Love? That’s not Love. People are silly for falling continuously for the wrong people. It’s all a Game for them. Me? I don’t play games.

But you do! Everybody does when it comes to falling in Love, to various extents. That’s what’s really fun about falling in Love. If you could face yourself, you’d realise you have a bit of a God-complex within this context. In the sense that…because Love and romance actually aren’t such a big deal to you, and somehow, you have an almost all-too-natural inclination to attract the right people, you can’t really empathise with those who cry in the name of Love.

For some though, if the above doesn’t really resonate, you’re the type that has an innate understanding that you must protect yourself from falling into those tragical romantic setups. You have a highly developed sense of boundary and you keep high standards for what kind of a romantic relationship you want. You’re kinda similar to Pile 1 in this case, but you most likely haven’t experienced sacrificing your standards for, EXPERIENCE~

why do you chase, Love? – 10 of Wands

In comparison to certain types of people in the world, you’re not exactly a dreamy type. When it comes to relationships you think straight towards building a matrimony with someone. You’re a traditionalist in a sense. You’re the based kid who knows that a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship is a training ground for a marriage. You think long-term. You’re realistic like that. But the problem is…you’re totally missing out on the passion of Love itself.

You don’t really see your partner(s) for the person—the Human—that they are. You care only for the practical, pragmatic facts surrounding their reputation or status or whether or not their physical appearance is decent enough. Stuff like that. And the dreamy ones who look at you, look at you with a pang of sadness in their chest, for although you seem responsible and blessed…you appear to them as someone who looks at another with an eye of business.

You’re the type that thinks love is an investment. An investment of attention, affection, time and money, and all that shit. That’s not Love; that’s something to be exchanged at the market. The dating market, OMG~

‘Freedom and love go together. Love is not a reaction. If I love you because you love me, that is mere trade, a thing to be bought in the market; it is not love. To love is not to ask anything in return, not even to feel that you are giving something—and it is only such love that can know freedom.’ – Jiddu Krishnamurti

what happens when Love, dies? – 6 of Pentacles

When Love dies, you celebrate. You’re wise enough to know that Life doesn’t end just because you broke up with somebody, even in terms of friendship. You’re spiritually mature enough to know you’ve learnt from the experience, and now, you’re just going to prepare for the next big thing to experience. Life goes on without a hitch like that for you, for the most part. I can’t tell if you’re really that spiritually mature or you just don’t give a fuck about emotions LMAO

Not saying you’re a bad person, btw. It just seems like you haven’t got a lot of crazy in your birth chart or that you haven’t experienced a lot of sorrows and soul-shattering heartbreaks, so…it’s kinda just a matter of not having, PERSPECTIVE? Coupled with the fact that you take Life very unseriously seriously…? Like, you’re serious about not being an asshole and wanting to do the socially right thing, but in doing so, you become an annoying insincere jackass in the lives of those who have (or will) dated you XDD

Basically, you’re not the type to get super crazy heartbroken when a relationship ends. You’ve got all of these other blessings anyway. Why would you focus on just the negative, right? In a sense, I believe that’s an incredible spiritual maturity which others are still struggling to figure out XD But yeah…rather than this being something abnormal about you, I think it’s just that your Higher Self designed for you not to experience the dramatic highs and lows of immature romance HAHAH

MY HEART, MY PRIDE🔻🧡

sacrifices I’d made – Gold Alchemist (Roger Bacon)

I’m glad I was able to love – Priestess of Luck

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 3]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

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l0ve-dov3 · 2 months

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bedroom floor !

‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚👒⊹♡

luke castellan x demeter! reader

summary: in which luke talks to his ex-girlfriend on a vacation with the senior campers.

warnings: just a naughty word or two :^

word count: 1.3k !

authors note: this one-shot is an ode to the song bedroom floor by sneaky peaches and the fuzz. definitely not sure about how i feel on this one-shot, but i tried my best to tie the ‘hopelessly heartbroken’ vibes of the song into this fic. can’t tell if it worked or not, soooo!

Luke sat in the back of a crowded van, listening to the loud chatter between his friends. It was summer, and the senior campers managed to get Chiron’s permission for a beach trip. This would be great, of course—for everyone needs a vacation sometimes—if you hadn’t broken up with him about a month prior.

It wasn’t exactly bad. You were far too sweet for a angry, heartless breakup like that. But Gods, did he miss you. I mean truly, deeply miss you, and he was hoping by now he’d be over it.

Spoiler, he wasn’t.

Because now, he was pretending to pay attention to Chris, more focused on you singing with Clarisse in the passenger seat.

“And he’s gone. How surprising.” Chris groaned, realizing that Luke was in his own little world. Silena chuckled, seeing Luke’s dazed expression next to Chris’ blank stare of frustration.

As a child of Aphrodite, and friend to the former couple, she often fell victim to Castellan’s bouts of love and sadness. She’d watched him ramble about how gorgeous you looked, wishing he could kiss you the way he used to. But, she had also let him lean on her shoulder, crying into the stars about how he’d follow you anywhere.

On the other hand, she knew how deeply it hurt you to break up with the golden boy. You had only done it out of fear, your recent nightmares pointing to a quest of some kind. You were scared. Scared of how the quest would turn out, and even more scared of how Luke may handle it, so you broke up with him.

You tried to ignore your guilt, but it kept coming back to taunt you. Your plan was to fix that today.

The car slowed to a halt, and the music was turned down, effectively stopping your singing and jumping. Clarisse leaned her elbow on the passenger seat, looking back to her friends with a smirk. “Alright bitches, our vacation has officially begun.”

The car filled with excited cheers, and in a mad rush to get out the car, everyone found themselves basking in the warmth of Jones Beach. The heat was refreshing, in a sense; a reminder that they were out of camp grounds and free to do as they pleased.

Y/n ran off to the edge of the water, her bags long forgotten in her excitement to be near the sea. She stood there, grinning at the waters edge, with a white coverup hiding her swimsuit from view.

“Come on Y/n, show us the swimsuit!” Clarisse whistled to you, earning a soft chuckle as she carried over your stuff. Since the breakup, you and Clarisse had become closer friends, jokingly flirting with each other and pushing each other’s buttons. You’d grown to find comfort in her mask of aggression, knowing that she was a true friend deep down.

“Don’t get too excited!” You yelled back to her, wiggling your shoulders exaggeratively and earning laughs from your group of friends.

As the laughing began to die, you untied your coverup, letting it drop to the ground dramatically. Clarisse and Chris whistled, Silena clapping and hooting in a bout of approval; but Luke sat there, eyes wide with adoration, trying—and failing—not to stare for too long.

You were wearing a light blue one piece, made with a perfect bow in the center of your chest. It hugged your hips comfortably, and he watched as you spun in a circle to show your friends the whole thing.

It was nothing revealing, nor outlandish, it was just such a reflection of you. The sweet, soft, bow-loving girl he always knew.

And he needed you, unlike anything in the world. He needed you now, and forever.

⋆·˚ ༘ *👒

The first two hours of your beach trip were spent splashing each other and swallowing too much ocean water. Most recently, you played water chicken on Silena’s shoulders, with Chris fighting against you on Luke’s. The ravenette spared glances at you every few seconds, making Chris lose to a solid push right to his chest. The boys splashed and laughed in a faux rivalry, throwing random accusations as to why they had lost, and you watched them lovingly as you made your way out of the water.

You decided you wanted to sunbathe for a bit, growing tired of the endless swimming and dunking your friends into the water. Sunbathing was much more relaxing, and it would give you time to read the book you’d been meaning to start.

Watching as you laid down on your towel, Luke slowly stopped splashing Chris. Even he would admit it was creepy, how often he stopped to look at you, but this time he couldn’t help but indulge. His heartbeat sped up with every passing second, wanting nothing but to walk through the sand and be with you. Wanting love. Wanting you. Wanting things to be normal again.

“Chris, I’ll be back in a bit.”

Chris shrugged, already knowing where his friend would go.

The child of Hermes swam up to the shore, anxiously walking up to the spot where you lay. You could feel his presence before you saw him, and your heart tightened as he took a seat right beside you.

“Y/n.” He said gingerly, trying not to let his anxiousness bleed into his words.

“Hey hero.” You sighed softly in return, sitting up to face him properly. You knew that he wanted to talk, and you knew you needed to. You made a mistake in breaking up with him, and he deserved to know. But, just as your lips parted, his own words came spilling out.

“I miss you, Y/n.” He began, taking a deep breath, “You were—and you still are—the best thing to ever come out of this shitty life of being a half-blood. You—You are gentle, and kind, and soft, and I can be slow with you. I can live and love slow with you.”

His words made your heart stutter, your breathing going shallow with the weight of it all. You looked down at your feet, tears threatening to fall, as he rambled about you.

“You are my angel, my flower, my sun and my stars. I would follow you anywhere, Y/n, but I have to know why…” He paused, swallowing any fear left in his stomach, “Why wouldn’t you follow me?”

His final words came out in a solemn whisper, one that made you shiver with guilt at how you’d hurt this poor boy. What you thought would help had only harmed the both of you, and now, you were paying for it; paying for the way he loved you so unconditionally.

“I want to, Luke.” You whispered, tears landing on your towel beneath you.

Luke felt his heart shatter. He watched as you wiped away tears stiffly, trying to hide the way you slowly broke in front of him. With a cautious hand, he reached up to your cheek, caressing it with his thumb the way he always did when you cried. His calloused hand felt like it melted into you, a sensation so familiar that it made you cry harder. You missed him. You missed this, and the way he held you.

So you leaned in, bringing a hand to the side of his neck. He looked into your eyes, tearful and soft, and planted a passionate kiss on your shaking lips. The butterflies in your stomach awoke from their slumber, and your lips molded to his in the same way they used to. You tasted like strawberries and vanilla, and he brought you in further to taste you just a bit more.

“I want to, Luke.” You breathed, “I want to follow you anywhere.”

#luke x reader #luke castellan #ex girlfriend #ex boyfriend #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #demeter #hermes #luke castellan x reader #x reader #beach trip #beach episode #aesthetic #longing

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