#fellas is three years into pining and one month into affection too soon to say i love you | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

drev-the-procrastinator · 4 years

Note

1, 8, 12 and 52 for the writing thingy!!!

Look at me finally answering these after like a whole month lol

Thanks for the ask!

1. Tell us about your WIP!

Which one lol, I’ve got many of them. Too many. Really. That, coupled with the fact that I am a slow writer because I keep getting distracted and procrastinating (like with answering these asks,,,,) means that pretty much everyone on this site will die of old age before I finish like any of them :’D

Anyway, I guess I’ll give brief summaries of all of the… main ones. This is gonna be a long one, fellas! I guess in the order I came up with them? Or the order I’m pretty sure I came up with them in.

TT: My original story I’ve been low-key working on and reworking since… 2012…? It’s a fantasy story, and it is… way too long probably. Also needs a lot of work. Worldbuilding and character building and plot building… At the moment, I guess I could summarise it as, our world gets wrecked for some reason, and the main characters, these two girls, who got saved into another, fantasy world with like… a bunch of other survivors, leave the Earth-refugee camp and get tangled with like, politics? Of that world? Well, politics and then eventually like, a war type thing… I didn’t say it was good, and I did also say it needs a whole lotta work. I’m pretty happy with some names younger me came up with though! Also it has dragons, so. Yup.

Fantasy fanfic: I am very good with names, as you’ll come to notice. Anyway this is a.. Hetalia fantasy fic..? I came up with in, like, 2014. I’m not actively working on this one at the moment, but I would like to maybe write it one day, and my most beloved OC originated in this story, you may have seen me mention her in my tags? I haven’t managed to come up with a name for her, but I call her the Asshole Goddess, because she’s a goddess, and also an ass. So.

Anyway this one’s pretty cliche, and it’s like, an absurdly large cast of Hetalia characters ending up in a fantasy world, where a bunch of other characters, who’d gone missing earlier, have apparently been taken to? Then it’s a journey to find and get them back, friendships are formed and magical things are encountered, but uh oh! They’re mortal here and can die! And many do. You may note I was 14 when I came up with it, so. Well. It is quite edgy. Had some good concepts though!

Kingdom AU: Great with names, as I said. This one is also a Hetalia fic, because that is the fandom I’ve been stuck in forever, though mostly just because I’ve so many fics for it. This is the odd one out in my fics though! This is like, a royalty AU of an rp AU me and my friend made by accident one time? The RP, not this AU, this is all my invention. It’s really just for me and my friend, since it’s based on that strange RP and the main thing in it is like and OC x canon character ship? That’s also why it’s the weird one, I don’t usually have much romance in my fics because I’m not big on ships and just prefer gen stuff, but this one is like primarily romance? Lots of pining. And it’s very soft. And I love this AU with all my heart. It’s also got a whole lotta angst!

Basic plot is the more or less classic, kinda cliche, peasant girl goes to get a job in the royal palace to help her poor family and meets the crown prince, and they become friends, and slowly fall in love.. Except, well, this is weird also in that the end point isn’t them getting married or confessing their love or anything, that’s like...Maybe the midpoint? There’s also politics, kinda worldbuilding? It’s set in like a 1700s type setting, I think, And while it’s not really a fantasy world since no magic, it’s not like, a real world setting. Anyway, yeah, this is near and dear to my heart.

The Home Front Fic: This! This is the one I’ve been trying to work on lately! It’s about life on the Finnish home front during WWII, and yes this is uh, also a Hetalia fic. Sorry. Though to be fair with this one and the previous one everyone’s probably gonna be so OOC and the setting is so different they might as well just be original works lol. Anyway, it’s a human AU, and also had a lot of OCs for that reason because it’d be tough to make a story of this scope with like. Three characters.

Basically! Tino is a 8, soon to be 9-year-old boy living in the Finnish countryside in 1942. His dad’s gone off to war, as well as the farmhand they had at the farm, and his mom and grandma can’t take care of the whole farm by themselves. So when they hear a nearby factory and some other farms in the area are getting extra work force in the form of Soviet prisoners of war, they decide to ask for one, too. They get a worker, his name’s Ivan. It takes some time, since they’re technically enemies, right, but eventually Tino befriends him and slowly he kind of becomes a part of the family… But you know what happened when the Continuation War between Finland and the Soviet Union ended in September 1944? :) Well, I’ll just say that Stalin did say “There are no Soviet prisoners of war, only traitors.”

This one also has angst. But it also has found family! I like it a whole lot, I wish I’d written it already, but I have been having such a hard time starting it. :(

That BNHA Fic: I can call it that because I’ve only got one so far! So this is a My Hero Academia fic, and hmm. I haven’t talked about it too much, but I do like it, even though my focus has been pulled back to the Home Front Fic again. I do wanna write this one!

So this is like a future fic? It’s canon divergent because some stuff happening in the manga rn is not gonna work with the plot, I guess it’ll diverge at least from like… all the New Year’s chapters? I don’t remember what the number is.

Anyway, the main character is Eri, who’s been going to like this boarding school meant for kids with volatile quirks. She wanted to go there herself when some years ago her quirk had gone bonkers, she thinks? Something like that, she doesn’t remember that well anymore, but anyway, she’s going to apply to UA! Just the Gen-Ed, her quirk isn’t any good against robots. She’d love to be a hero, though, she knows so many heroes and she just wants to help people, but her quirk is no good. :( Anyway she’s back in Musutafu for the summer break in her last year of middle school, and she meets Mirio and Aizawa at the train station, and they go around the town meeting everyone! In the entrance exams she meets Kouta, who for some reason doesn’t want to be a hero though he’s got a really good quirk for it, and he’s proud of his parents who were famous heroes! They both get into UA, and she manages to convince him to try to get into the hero course through the Sports Festival, and he does! She doesn’t get that far in the festival though, because even though she’s practiced using her quirk, she’s scared to use it on people when in battle and stuff. Anyway, she’s very upset about it, and when she tells Mirio about how she wants to help people, but can’t, because her quirk sucks, he gets this look on his face and later tells her that he knows someone who could help. They go to meet this scarecrow lookin’ dude, and oh wait, is that All Might?? Why’s he refusing to help her out from Mirio’s request?? And later, what’s this One For All Mirio’s talking about?? And whose kind arms does she keep dreaming of in her sleep???

So yeah. That’s the BNHA fic. One more WIP to go!

Space Fic: Back to Hetalia, and this is technically an older fic but I decided to someday actually write it just recently. So it’s my Historical Human AU No. 3. It’s based on a space facts video fact, where it said that in 1963 Kennedy had proposed the USSR and US go to the Moon together, and Khrushchev had been meaning to agree, but then Kennedy died and the plan was abandoned. This story idea was like, but what if they’d gone through with it? And then, because why not, what if they’d included other countries as well? And this WIP was born. It’d be like, the main characters would be representatives of their home countries, sent to take part in the program and they’d all be candidates for going to the Moon, but there’d be only 3 spots on the rocket so like, they’d kind of have to compete for the spots? And the ones that wouldn’t pass would take part in the mission on Earth. So then there'd compete, there’d be personal drama, their personal relationships would be affected by the relationships between their home countries, but overtime friendships would be forged, and they’d all just become… one big ole found family. A space family. A big ole found space family. And the Overview Effect would also play a part. This is kind of on the back burner, this’ll need lots of research and the Home front fic also needs a lot of it, so I’ll try to.. write that first, I guess? We’ll see.

So that’s all my WIPs. There are other fic ideas that I haven’t put much thought into yet so they’re not on the list, but yeah!

8. Do you have any writing buddies or critique partners?

I don’t have any one person who I’ve talked to about all of my stories, but I have discussed my stories with a few people! Both online and irl. I’m also on a couple discord servers that are for writing or where people talk about writing, even though for the most part I’m too shy to talk much on any of them ;u; But the people who’ve been awesome enough to listen to me ramble about my stories have helped me a lot!

12. Which story of yours do you like best? Why?

Aaaa, don’t make me choose between my children! ;__; I love them all,,,

Well, I am very fond of TT, since it’s my own original story and I’ve worked on it the longest… Then again, the Kingdom AU has a lovely aesthetic and those two pining idiots in it… But also, that BNHA fic has some really nice plot and character moments? But also I’ve spent so long researching for the Home front fic and it’s got my boys in it! And the atmosphere in it is so nice, and it has found family,,, But then also… Space??? And even the fantasy fanfic has the Asshole Goddess in it?? And a nice storyline with Liech?? See I can’t choose ;_;

To be fair, the story my dumb brain takes interest in changes every now and then, for example lately I’ve been mostly thinking about TT, the Kingdom AU and the Home front fic, so I guess those would be my favorites at the moment? But a couple weeks ago I was really into the Space Fic, and at the start of the year it was the BNHA fic. So it depends! But I do love them all.

52. Who do you write for?

Well, primarily probably for myself. I do often find myself in a situation where I’m looking for fics or books to read but none of them really click, and then I realize I’m looking for my own story. Which I haven’t written. So that’s definitely a big one! Then, to some extent, I also write for the people I’ve rambled about my fics to, so they might maybe someday get to experience the whole thing through something other than just my ramblings :’D But mostly for myself, I think.

Thanks for the ask again and sorry for taking so long!

#it's been 84 years.....#long post #drev's fics #did i have an ask tag? i don't remember

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cami-chats · 6 years

Text

Abnegate

Fandom: Marvel

Pairings: Tony Stark/Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark/Bucky Barnes

Warnings: None

Tony loved being Iron Man. Hell, he was Iron Man, in a way that went beyond the fact of: Tony Stark is the person piloting the Iron Man armor. He never thought that he would ever give it up for any length of time, but here he was, retiring Iron Man, and all for a guy. He fell in love and got married. They were coming up on their first anniversary as a married couple, and he just couldn't keep up the lie anymore. He'd thought about telling Bucky-- of course he had-- but his identity was secret for a reason. Most of that reason was something he'd signed for Shield back when he'd gotten back from the whole ordeal with Stane. Usually that was something he gave fuck all about, but then he thought of Pepper. One of his best friends, and someone that he had thought was already prepared for him as Iron Man given what she'd had to deal with as Tony Stark's assistant. But he'd told her, and it had gotten her killed, so never again. It left him with three facts, two of which he couldn't change. 1. He was in love with Bucky. 2. He was Iron Man. 3. He was lying to Bucky on a weekly basis, making up stories for how he was hurting himself, and not being able to give reasons for why he was blowing off dates all the time. He was lying, and there were too many secrets between them. It was affecting their marriage, and Tony knew it. Bucky had yet to say anything, but he shouldn't have to; Tony knew it was coming between them. All of that left him with the choice of retiring Iron Man. He hated doing it, but he loved Bucky more. So he went into Shield and signed the paperwork. Fury was too well trained to show surprise, but he did try to talk Tony out of it, and that was the closest to an admission that Fury wanted him to stay on the team as he was going to get. "I'm doing one more trip in it," Tony told him. "Stark..." "It's not what you think. I'm just going to say goodbye to Cap." And the team, but it was mostly Cap that needed a proper goodbye from him. Fury paused, then nodded. "See if you can talk some sense into him, will you?" Tony snorted. "Just because I'm retiring doesn't mean that I'm suddenly on your side. I'm saying goodbye to my friend, not doing your dirty work." "Since when is talking to Captain America dirty work?" Fury asked him as he walked out the door. He shook his head. Stark would be back; he couldn't leave for good, no matter how much he might think he wants to. He put the paperwork through anyways. Once an Avenger, always an Avenger-- he just wasn't on the call list right now.

Tony went to the Tower to suit up and flew over to Avenger Mansion. He used to live there-- both as Iron Man and Tony Stark-- but when he and Bucky moved in together, he started living at Stark Tower. It was easier to keep up with his secret identity that way, and the Mansion got attacked more often anyways; the Tower was safer for Bucky. He landed in front of the main door, and Jarvis opened the door for him rather than risk the armor accidentally crushing the doorknob (again). Jan perked up when she saw him, a garment bag in her arms. "Iron Man! What are you doing here? I thought you were being incognito today?" "Mister Stark's got someone else watching him right now. Do you know where Cap is?" "Gym with Winter, I think. Why?" He shrugged. "Just need to talk to him about something. What's...?" He gestured to the slip. "Dress for Tony's gala this weekend, I'm sure you'll see it then," she said with a wink. "Have fun with the super twins!" Tony chuckled and made his way to the gym, wondering how difficult Winter was going to make this on him. He didn't like Cap and Iron Man's friendship, and he insisted it wasn't jealousy, but that's always what Cap told him when they got alone. He saw them sparring on the mats and knocked an armored finger against the door frame to let them know he was there. Cap saw him and beamed, and Winter rolled his eyes, shoving Cap off of him. He didn't care, standing up and walking over. "Hey Iron Man, I didn't think you were going to be around today." "Yeah, little change of plans, I needed to talk to you about something." "Of course," he said, looking at him earnestly even with his workout mask covering pieces of his face. "Uh, alone," he said, glancing over at Winter, who was still sitting on the mats. Winter glared at him. "What do you need to tell him so privately?" "Winter," Cap reprimanded. He rolled his eyes again. "Fine, guess I'll hit the showers." They both waited for the door to shut behind him before turning back to each other. "So?" Cap said, back to happy. "I'm- uh, retiring." His smile froze on his face, and he tried to capture a little hope. "Oh taking another break? Yeah, you've been busy lately, don't worry about it. We'll see you around, yeah?" "Cap. I'm not... taking a break. I'm leaving the Avengers. Permanently." It felt like kicking a puppy that was also his best friend. The smile was wiped off his face like it had never been there. "Wh- is there something wrong? If Mister Stark needs more security, we can take up shifts until he figures it out." Tony shook his head. "I'm not going back to being his bodyguard. I'm giving up the armor." Cap swallowed thickly, crossing his arms over his chest. "Is... is someone replacing you?" "No. Well," he gave a harsh laugh that didn't have an ounce of humor in it, "maybe someday. But not anytime soon." "Is there anything I can say that would convince you to stay?" "I already signed the paperwork," he said gently. The armor didn't really translate gentle, but Cap had known him for years like this and he understood what Tony was aiming for. "I just came to say goodbye." "Okay," Cap said, and Tony could see him calculating. "Do I- do we get to see you still? Will you drop by to visit?" "Don't do this Cap. If you see me, you're just going to want me back, and you're going to expect me in battles where I'm not going to be." "I won't," he said desperately. "I won't do that Shellhead, please. Don't just leave me entirely. You're my best friend, you- you got me through waking up in this century, I can't lose you." Tony put a hand on his shoulder. "You'll be fine Winghead. You always have been." Cap clenched his jaw. "Fine, we don't get to see you in the armor. What about..." he visibly gathered his courage and looked straight into the eye slits like he could see straight through them. "Would you go on a date with me? I was thinking pizza. You always said that you loved pizza, but you could never have it with the team because of the helmet." Tony blinked in surprise. "A date?" He nodded decisively, chin jutted out, and Tony got the sudden vision of how he must have looked before the serum-- earnest but not self-confident, taking risks and putting himself out there every day. "I... you mean a lot to me, Shellhead. I've been wanting to do this since five months after we met." Tony's heart sank lower and lower, falling to his shoes. Cap was in love with him. He didn't say the words, but it was obvious-- how had he never seen this before? Iron Man's hand fell from his shoulder and laid limply at his side. "I'm sorry," he croaked. "If it's your identity, you know I won't tell anyone." "It's not-" Tony shook his head. "I'm married." Cap's face tightened in pain, and he hunched over like he did in fights when he was expecting a blow. Only this one was emotional, and he didn't have the shield to protect him. "Oh," he managed. His arms tightened across his chest, and Tony recognized the feeling of wanting to rub at your heart when it hurt. "I'm so sorry," he said, because that was all he could do. Cap shook his head vigorously, but not enough to hide the tears welling up in his eyes. "I- I should've--" he cut himself off, shaking his head again. He pulled himself together enough to give him a tremulous smile. "I'll miss you Shellhead. Have a good retirement, yeah? And- if you ever--" he stopped himself again, trying to shake the thought out of his mind. And if you ever find yourself single, maybe look me up. "Have a good retirement," he repeated. ~~~ After everything with Cap, Tony felt like dirt, but he still managed to say goodbye to the others. Like with Cap, they asked if they were going to still see him, but after he said that he'd already talked to Cap about it, they didn't bother pressing the point; if Cap couldn't convince him to stay, none of them would be able to. He went back to the Tower but didn't get any work done, opting to be miserable on the couch rather than miserable in the workshop. When Bucky got back from the fire station that day, both of them were feeling low. He slumped next to Tony on the couch. "How was your day?" "Awful. Had to fire someone," he lied, and he hoped to god that this was one of the last lies he would have to tell him. Bucky made a noise of sympathy and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "'m sorry. If it helps, my day wasn't much better." "I know they say misery loves company, but I'm not really happy that your day sucked too. What happened?" Bucky glared at the wall. "The fella Stevie was sweet on is seein' someone else. Can you believe that? Been stringin' him along for years, and he's living with someone." He shook his head, reaching back to untie his hair. "I told him that guy was no good for 'im." "You did," Tony agreed. For as long as Tony had known him, Steve was pining over someone, and Bucky was telling him that it wasn't going to go anywhere. Tony didn't know the guy obviously, but the way Bucky told it, it was hopeless to think he and Steve would ever get together-- looks like he was right. "How's he holding up?" "Not good," Bucky said with a grimace. "He thought this guy was the one, y'know?" Tony winced. "That's rough." "Yeah. I'm sorry honey, I know we had plans tonight, but-" Tony was already shaking his head. "It's fine. Go get him roaring drunk; it's the first step to moving on." "Is that what they tell you at your AA meetings?" "Well I'm not the one with a broken heart, am I? Besides, Steve hardly drinks, that might be what he needs right now." "If you say so." "What was your plan then?" "Junk food and rom coms." Tony made a face. "I don't want to trash your methods, but watching movies where people always end up together? That seems a little questionable." "Mm," Bucky shook his head. "We're watching He's Just Not That Into You, so it gives him the full spectrum." Tony laughed. "Sounds like fun, I wish I could come along. I'll just be sitting here pining for you." "Not going to get any work done?" Bucky asked, sounding surprised since that was usually what Tony did when Bucky had evening plans with someone else. He shrugged one shoulder. He really should start packing up all the suits, but designing anything would be far from possible right now. "I might. Guess we'll see." Bucky chuckled and gave his cheek another kiss, nuzzling until Tony turned to face him. He kissed him slowly, savoring the way he tasted. "I'll make it up to you," he whispered against Tony's lips. This was par for the course when one of them canceled a date, to the point that even if they didn't say it, they still did something special later on. "Don't worry about it," Tony said, knowing full well that Bucky was going to do something anyways-- again, it was what they did. Bucky hummed, rubbing their noses together before pulling away. "I'm gonna go change, but I'll see you tonight? Hopefully not too late." "Yep." Tony snagged another kiss. "Have fun-- or as much fun as you can have while mending a broken heart." Bucky grinned at him, and Tony's heart skipped a beat. "Will do, doll." He kissed him again before getting up to go change, and Tony watched his backside as he walked away. God, he loved him. Every day he thought he couldn't love him any more than he already did, and every day he was proven wrong. He waited for Bucky to leave for Steve's before heading to the workshop. He stood in front of the panel that hid the Iron Man suits and took a deep breath. This was ridiculous, right? They were just circuits and metal strung together, and he wasn't even destroying them. He was just... packing them up. Putting them in boxes and hiding them away so he wouldn't be tempted to use them. He only managed to get the Mark Three down before stopping. He went to the 'shop and worked on an upgrade for Cap. The poor man deserved something nice after the Iron Man... incident. He didn't get very far before saving what little progress he'd made, and he went back to the suits. The Mark Three had already been carried off by DUM-E, so he started on the Mark Four. He turned on music, so loud he couldn't hear himself think, and worked on packing up the rest of them. If he didn't think about it, it was like he was moving back to Malibu, not retiring completely. By the time Bucky got home, Tony had packed everything up and was looking at a few documents Val (his new assistant) had sent him. Guess he was going to be doing a lot more of this, now that he wasn't trying to keep up with two people's lives. Just the one. He sighed. If he could have Bucky and be Iron Man, that would of course be preferable. He shook his head to get rid of the thought and accepted Bucky's welcome home kiss. He smelled like vodka, but he didn't look the least bit tipsy. Maybe Steve had gone off and gotten wasted like Tony suggested. "How's Steve doing?" "Pretty miserable. He's still convinced this guy is the love of his life." "Didn't you talk some sense into him?" "I tried, but Steve said that I never liked him so what I think doesn't matter." Tony's eyes went wide. "Well then." "You'd be able to work it out," Bucky said, sounding strangely certain of that even though Tony and Steve didn't get along very well. Tony shrugged it off because Bucky said weird shit like that all the time. He leaned in to give Tony a longer kiss, but he shied away. "No offense babe, but you stink." Bucky's look of confusion turned to understanding, and he nodded, giving Tony some space and getting off the couch. "Yeah Steve sort of... threw a drink on me." "What? What for?" "Love of his life, remember?" "Mm." "Yeah. I'm gonna take a shower." "What happened to movie night?" Bucky made a face. "The punk wanted to take your advice, and Natasha sure as fuck wasn't helping. You should've seen the bartender's face when Steve tossed his drink at me though-- thought he was gonna have us beating the shit outta each other in his place." Tony laughed, able to visualize the terror the poor man must have felt; Steve and Bucky were both built-- if they wanted to destroy a place, they could do it. "I'm sure he was very happy when you didn't." "Darlin', you have no idea." He winked at Tony and made for the shower. He'd been hoping for some quality time since Tony was still up, but if he smelled like a distillery? Yeah, not happening, and he couldn't even be mad about it.

Two Weeks Later Of all the things Tony expected from his life, being bored was not one of them. Being Iron Man had kept him busy-- too busy, honestly. He'd had to shirk duties that both Iron Man and Tony Stark should be doing to make time for both identities. Even before Iron Man he'd been busy, but now it was less than he was expecting. He got used to running everywhere, never having a moment to sit down and rest unless he scheduled it, and now he had his usual meetings, the usual paperwork, and the usual projects to work on, with an average of five more hours a day to do it all. He also wasn't designing new Iron Man suits, so that was a weekly project that he no longer had to spend time on. He didn't have to cancel dates anymore because there was never an emergency that wasn't preemptively dealt with because of all his free time. The main problem with all of this? He was starting to get suspicious of Bucky, and he hated it in a visceral way that felt like it was clawing from the depths of his soul. Bucky wasn't doing anything unusual even. He still canceled dates occasionally, still told stories about down time with his friends, but something about it all rubbed Tony the wrong way. What kind of firefighter got calls at eleven at night on a regular basis? They had night shifts for a reason, and Tony never saw anything about big fires that would require the extra help. He found excuses for this or that, but there was one thing he couldn't explain away-- Bucky's injuries. Bruises? Fine, not ideal, but normal. But cuts? Sometimes it looked like someone tried to make him a human shish-ka-bob, and a week later he was perfectly fine. He hated himself for even getting that far in his suspicion. He was getting paranoid, looking for trouble where there was none, and it ate at him. Bucky loved him, and Tony loved him. They'd been married for almost a year, and here he was jumping at shadows. He worked on planning their anniversary, trying to make it perfect to alleviate his guilt. It didn't really work, and Bucky was starting to get concerned, coaxing him to bed more often than not. Bucky mostly felt like his life was crumbling in the foundation. Steve was still mad at him for saying Iron Man was a dick, and Natasha was too, for some reason. Tony was acting different, and as much as his anxiety tried to pin all the blame on his own behavior, it felt deeper than that. Bucky hadn't changed anything about how he acted, but all of a sudden Tony was distant and his mind was wandering-- and neither of them in way that Bucky had seen before. He did his best to just let Tony know that he was there for him and that he still loved him, but it didn't seem to be doing anything. It wasn't a big change mind, but they'd been living together for a year and a half-- he knew Tony. So he got Steve to get him a day off of Avenger activity no matter what happened, and he called Val to clear a day in Tony's schedule. The alarm by their bed went off, and Tony turned it off, swinging his legs off the bed and waiting for his body to boot up. Bucky wrapped an arm around his waist and tugged him back on the bed, careful to watch his strength so Tony didn't get suspicious. He kissed his back, but when Tony spoke he only sounded tired. "I have a meeting this morning." Bucky tried not to let his disinterest discourage him. "No you don't. I called Val, got Sam to cover my shift, and said no way are we leaving the floor today." He sat up and hugged Tony to his chest, kissing softly along his neck. But Tony wasn't relaxing. He loosened his grip and leaned back a little to give him space. "Uh. Is somethin' wrong sweetheart?" "Just not in the mood." That was plausible, but it felt like a lie. Bucky sat beside him, and Tony moved his leg away when it touched him. He tried to be discreet about it, but Bucky noticed-- would have done even if he wasn't enhanced. He swallowed thickly, trying to tamp down on the hurt. A voice in the back of his mind started screaming that this was the end for them, but he shoved it back. Couples had bumps in the road sometimes, that's just how relationships worked. "What's goin' on with you recently?" he asked softly. "Did somethin’ happen?" Tony took a deep breath and rubbed at his eyes. He was about to answer when an explosion rattled the floor. "What the-" Suddenly, the wall blew in, and Bucky was tackling him to the floor. "Shit," Bucky bit out. He scrambled for his backpack sitting by the nightstand, getting his gun in hand just in time to see the approaching figures in black and shooting at them. How was he going to explain this? They got out of the open space and behind the wall, but before he could grab Tony and find somewhere to get them away, Tony was pulling on his arm, typing something into his phone rapid fire and opening a panel in their wall. It sealed shut, leaving them in the brightly lit elevator with all sound and destruction cut off. "This feels like a Mr. and Mrs. Smith moment," Tony said mildly, but his eyes were wide and his grip on his phone left his knuckles whitened. "Because we're in an elevator?" "And you have a gun. Why do you have a gun in your work bag?" "Tony, I can explain later but right now--" Tony raised his voice and talked over him. "I guess it's the same reason the skin on your left arm is shredded and there's metal underneath. Right?" There was only one person that had an arm like that, and the Winter Soldier wasn’t very fond of Tony. Bucky glanced down, and sure enough, the synthetic skin he used to cover his prosthetic was ripped in places. He'd been closer to the explosion so it made sense, but he hadn't even noticed. He was usually better about hiding this, but then again they usually weren't attacked in their fucking home. "Can we talk about it later?" he said quietly, peeling the synthetic skin off entirely. "There are kind of people trying to kill us right now." "I texted Fury, we should be fine. In the meantime I need to reboot Jarvis." "Is that where we're going?" "Yep." "I won't be any help there. If you let me off, I could-" "Nope." "What? Tony I should help." "Consider this your punishment," he said, and the doors opened to a circuit room he'd never seen before. "What?" he said again. "Punishment for what?" As soon as he said it, he realized the answer what the answer would be: lying. "Tony, I wasn’t allowed to tell you. None of us are." "The rest of them aren't married," Tony said, walking further into the room. He wasn’t actually mad at Bucky-- couldn’t be because it would be so fucking hypocritical. He was doing something, but fuck if Bucky knew what it was. He stood at the edges of the room to stay out of the way, shifting awkwardly. "You know that for sure?" "I know that two of them are married, and it's to each other so the secret identities schtick doesn't apply to them." Bucky frowned in confusion. "Iron Man's not married to another Avenger." "What?" Tony looked back, mirroring Bucky's expression. "But he told-" Bucky cut himself off before he could say 'Steve' or 'Cap'. "I'm so fuckin' confused." Tony's phone rang, and he put it on speakerphone and set it on top of one of the bases to continue what he was doing. "Hey Nicky, how's the view from out there?" "You'd have to ask Cap. Where's that husband of yours? He's unaccounted for." "He's with me," Tony said absently, his mind whirring as soon as Fury mentioned Captain America. "And where are you?" "Nice try Santa Claus." "At any rate, hostiles are clear, and you're free to go back and see if you recognize them." "Will do." He reached up and ended the call, face pale. He looked at Bucky, finally awake enough to realize everything it meant that Bucky was the Winter Soldier. The Winter Soldier fucking hated Iron Man, and he was Iron Man, therefore... Not to mention that the Winter Soldier was from the past, same as Captain America, and if that was Bucky, that meant Steve was Captain America. Steve liked Tony, Tony didn't like him, and that made Bucky hate him a couple times over. What a goddamn mess. He started laughing; this could only happen to him. Bucky walked over to him, concerned. "Tony? Are you okay?" He tried to talk past his laughter, and only managed, "If he's- then that means- and he got turned down so you hate-" before he broke down into hysterical giggles. He finally tapered off, wiping at his eyes. "Oh wow. If this wasn't so sad, this would be the funniest thing to ever happen to me." He messed around with a few more wires, and everything whirred to life. "Jarvis, buddy? You there?" "I appear to have taken a nap, sir. My apologies." He paused, running a quick diagnostic. "The issue has been found. It won't happen again, sir." "Just so long as you're alright, Jay. Did you know that I'm apparently married to the Winter Soldier?" "I did indeed, sir." "If you knew, then why didn't you tell him?" Bucky asked. "Privacy is one of his primary protocols, along with keeping me safe. And you, once you moved in." "So... he knows the identities of the other Avengers?" "I do, but sir has no need to know, so their identities have remained private." "Not that it would be hard to guess now that I know who you are," he muttered, giving a final pat to one of the towers. He pocketed his phone and went back to the elevator. "Jay, tell them we're headed up." "...Are you okay?" Tony gave him a strange look. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" He shrugged awkwardly. "Well with this and whatever else was botherin' you, I'm surprised you're not mad at me. It's a pretty big secret." "Yeah. Hypocritical though." "What do you mean?" "Captain America is Steve, right? And you hate Iron Man for turning him down?" Bucky's face darkened. "I know he's your bodyguard and you trust him an' all, but he's a bastard." "Cap tell you what he said?" He made a noise of disgust. "Said he's married. Who does that?" "We're married." "That's not the same, we love each other." "And you think Iron Man doesn't love his husband." "I think that if he loved him, he wouldn't've been flirtin' with Steve." "Huh." Tony chewed on his lip. "I don't suppose you would believe that he didn't know it was flirting?" "What? How could Iron Man not know?" "He's an idiot sometimes." "What are you talking about?" Tony looked at Bucky with an eyebrow raised. Then, he raised one hand and pointed at himself with the other. "I'm an idiot sometimes." "Tony..." "Do you really think I'd give my suit to someone else?" They reached the penthouse, but Jarvis kept the doors closed. "What the- what th' hell are you talking about Tony?" "I'm Iron Man," he said plainly. "And in my defense, Cap really was my best friend and nothing else. Yeah we flirted every once in a while, but I had no reason to believe he'd think it was serious. Also? I didn't think my husband was the Winter Soldier and fucking hated me. Like you said earlier, right? It 'had to be kept a secret'. And you know what?" he added when Bucky started to look angry. "I thought you were a firefighter, but you knew I was Tony Stark. You knew I was already involved with the Avengers, and you didn't tell me. So if anyone gets to be upset here? It's me." Not that he was, really, but it was the principle of the matter. Bucky's jaw was clenched tight, and he wasn't looking Tony. He shook his head in jerky movements, and he stepped forward to knock on the door with his metal hand. "Jarvis open up." He hesitated for the barest of moments before complying with Bucky's request (order, more like), but it probably wasn't long enough for anyone but Tony to notice. Jan turned to them with a smile, but it froze in place when she saw Bucky. Because she was a bonafide lady, she ignored his expression and the fact that his arm was out so Tony clearly knew about his identity. And since she knew Tony and everyone involved with the Avengers knew her identity, she was the one to talk to him right now-- comfort when his home was attacked, he guessed. "Hey Tony." "Hey Jan," he said tiredly. He glanced at Bucky, who had leaned against a wall and was now scowling at nothing. Now that Bucky and Cap were in the same room, it was pretty obvious that something was going on there. Knowing that it was Steve under the cowl, made it both better and worse. Better because Steve was Bucky's friend, and he was clearly concerned about him. Worse because this was Bucky's best friend who had told Tony as Iron Man that he loved him two weeks ago. "Do we know who it was?" he asked, looking around at the mess that was his penthouse. She grimaced, pulling her mask up and resituating her ponytail. "We put them through the system, and some of them are AIM." "But?" he prompted. "They don't really look like AIM, Tony." "What, no beekeeper outfits?" "Actual armor, fully outfitted." He frowned. "I know," she said, giving a helpless shrug. "We think they teamed up with someone." "Killian’s idea?" "Looks like it. The guy either loves you or hates you Tony. Either way, he's obsessed. I would guess that since his past attempts at getting your attention weren't working, he decided to switch it up." "He's not exactly nice at playing with others. If it's an alliance, it's not going to last." "Especially after this failed so miserably." She made a face and looked at the shattered glass and blasted down walls. "Sorry about your building." "It's only this right? No casualties or other damages?" "Correct," Cap jumped in to say. "The thing is Mister Stark, they've never been able to get this close to you before. I think you should consider moving back to the Mansion, at least temporarily." "It would be safer," Jan added. "Plus it'll be fun! Just like the old days." She moved beside Tony and slung an arm around his shoulders. "Cocktails, virgin of course, and talking clothes-- this lot is useless and has no taste-- ooo and painting our nails! Hank is atrocious at it. I love him dearly, but it looked like I'd stuck my fingertips in a can of paint." Tony laughed, and it sounded a little forced, but Jan just smiled encouragingly. "Yeah that'd be fun. I'm good with moving back for a bit. Bucky?" "What," he said flatly. Tony blinked. "Uh. Moving to the Mansion for a bit? Just while this place is being rebuilt." "Fine." "Great. I'll uh, grab some stuff." He started to walk forward, but Jan picked him up. "Jan!" "What?" she said innocently. "There's glass Tony, and you're only human." He glared at her, but she just hummed to herself and brought him into their room. "Have I told you lately that you're ridiculous?" "No, but maybe that's because you stopped being around when Iron Man left." A small part of that was that he wasn't there to be seem before and after suiting up, but most of it was avoiding Cap. He just... didn't know what to say to him. It was one of the only pros to not being Iron Man, and even that was gone now that he knew Steve was Captain fucking America. He couldn't avoid his husband's best friend, but then again maybe that wouldn't be a problem soon, if the way Bucky was shutting him out was any indication. He grabbed a duffle from the back of the closet and started throwing clothes in. He couldn't take any suits obviously, but Val would understand him having to cancel meetings-- and with his good behavior the last two weeks, she probably wouldn't even make a comment on how this attack was awfully convenient for getting him out of them. While he was at it, he pulled on some clothes for the day. He was about to ask Bucky if he wanted him to pack for him, but he and Cap/Steve looked to be having a whispered argument. An intense one that would probably have them shouting if they were alone. ~~~ Steve stood at his side, far enough away to keep appearances, and Bucky rolled his eyes. Now that Tony knew who he was, everyone in the penthouse was aware of everyone's identities. Except for the other Avengers knowing Iron Man was Tony; they didn't know that part, but what did it matter? Iron Man was retired. "Hey," Steve said in an undertone, "is everything okay?" He knew the attack was worrisome, but Tony looked to be fine. As far as he could tell, there was nothing to put Bucky in this foul of a mood. "Tony knows." "Shit." Steve glanced at Tony, who was in their room packing up some clothes, but he looked fine. "Is he mad?" "Nope. You know why?" Bucky looked straight into Steve's eyes, and it hit him that Bucky wasn't mad at Tony-- he was mad at Steve. "Cause he's Iron Man." Steve's stomach dropped, and he paled at a rate that would have been funny in a less serious situation. "What? He- there's no way." "Yeah cause I always joke about shit like this Rogers," he snarled. "Oh my god, Buck, I'm so sorry I swear I had no idea," Steve whispered back. "Had no idea that you want to fuck my husband? Yeah I'm so sure." He was glaring at Steve, hurt covered up by anger. "Well don't worry. In a month, we'll be divorced and you won't have to fuckin' worry anymore." "What? Divorce? Is he- Bucky is he dumping you?" "No," Bucky growled, jabbing a metal finger hard against Steve's chest (not that it mattered much through his armor), "but as soon as we have a minute alone, I'm tellin' him." "But why? You love him so much, it's not like you weren't keeping a secret of your own. I'm sure you can get past this if you try," Steve said desperately. Tony being Iron Man was god damn heartbreaking because he knew now that he really didn't stand a chance, but it was obvious how much they loved each other and separating over something like this would only stand to hurt them. "It's not about that," Bucky said, getting in Steve's face. "As soon as you told him that you fuckin' love him, he got distant. We haven't had sex since then, and this mornin' before the attack, I told him that we had the whole day together and he was tryin' to figure out how to leave. I convinced him t' talk, y'know? Right before they blew up the damn wall, and he was about to let me down easy. So don't try 'nd tell me that everything's just fine between us, cause it's not. He likes you, and I'm gonna be that stupid ex that you had to work past to get together." He clenched his jaw, looking for all the world like he wanted to haul off and punch Steve in the face. "I'm not gonna stick around to watch it happen. Neither of you need me, and the team sure as hell doesn't need the Winter Soldier." "What?" Steve whispered back harshly, starting to get angry himself. It was more reactionary than something he thought he should be feeling, but it was there all the same, bubbling in him like poison. "What the hell are you talking about? I'm not going to get with your fucking husband, what the hell kind of person do you think I am? Don't go putting words in my mouth punk, you don't get to speak for me, and I'm not going to date your husband." "Yeah," Bucky scoffed, "call me up in five years and tell me how that worked out for you."

Nat cleared her throat loudly, coughing into her hand to get them to break it up. She gave a pointed look to Tony, who was watching them with worry etched into his face and his hands tight around a duffle.

Bucky swallowed thickly and took a step back, not looking at Steve or Tony. This was going to be so goddamn miserable. Five Years Later They finished yet another battle against a batch of Doombots. "This diplomatic immunity thing is bullshit," Bucky said, slowly stretching his arm to test how his shoulder was doing. "It should apply to honest mistakes and cultural differences, not tryin' to take over the fucking country." "I vote we kill Doom and save our future selves the trouble," Clint said. "No," Steve said firmly, even using his Captain America voice. "We aren't killing him, that would only start a war and get you thrown in jail." "Yeah Clint," Tony chimed in. "You gotta start thinking like a hero, now that you're one of us. Any time we kill someone, it is entirely by accident, and then we have to spend the next month doing all sorts of bullshit PR to remind the public we're saving their collective asses." "That's easy for you to say," he grumbled. "Is it?" "You're getting laid on a daily basis by two super soldiers, Stark. You're doing what I'm doing, only with lots of hot sex in the down time." "He doesn't have as much down time as you're thinkin'," Bucky said. "Mostly it's me and Stevie waitin' for him to pry himself away from his toys. Everyone's on the quinjet, right?" He waited until he got various confirmations, and a reminder from Tony that he was going to fly to the Tower so they didn't need to wait for him. Natasha hummed, crawling into the copilot's chair. "Exactly what kind of waiting are we talking about here, Bucky? Please, tell us in as much detail as possible." "Don't be afraid to embellish, if you need," Clint added, strapping himself into a seat even though it wasn't necessary for the short trip-- he had some quirks, that was fine, none of them asked unless it worried them because if it made him feel better, then why bother him? "Or combine stories, really. It's your story, Bucky, you need to make sure we're entertained." "Not a word, Buck," Steve warned. "Ooo is that things work?" Jan teased. Tony laughed, but Steve just sighed. "I thought we all agreed not to talk about our sex life with the team?" "I wasn't exactly level headed at the time I agreed," Tony said. "I think in a court of law, I would be freed from this contract. Bucky too." "He's right, Steve. It's not fair to be negotiatin' while you've got someone's dick in your hand." Steve thumped his head into the wall behind him. "I hate both of you." "Aw I love you too honey," Tony said, pitching his voice overly sweet. They traded banter back and forth for the short ride back to the Tower, and Tony slid out of the suit on the landing pad. Jarvis picked it off of him and brought it back down to the 'shop for a few touch-up's-- not upgrades, just redoing the paint, honestly; it chipped in almost every fight, either because something sharp was hitting him, or because he was being thrown into buildings or the pavement (giant squid monsters were not friendly, he had learned). Bucky and Tony whisked Steve away after the debriefing, which had fortunately been very short due to how routine the fight had been. "Do you wanna tell 'im?" Bucky asked Tony. Tony frowned. "I thought we were doing this together?" "Well of course we're doin' it together, but we can't just talk at th' same time and hope it works." Steve cleared his throat loud and pointedly, making both of them turn to him in surprise, like they'd forgotten he was there and could hear them. "Should I be worried?" "No," they both immediately. "It's good," Bucky insisted. "Probably long overdue, if we're being honest." It had been five years since the penthouse had been partially destroyed, and Bucky had tried to leave the Avengers, Steve, and Tony. It had taken a couple days for Tony to figure out what the fuck was going on and work on fixing it, and while it had ultimately been a long process, it was still only six months before they brought Steve into their relationship. Four and half years of dating and being in love, and they hadn't done this yet when it only took Tony and Bucky a year to get engaged. Tony was the one with the ring box now, so Bucky was probably right about Tony being the one to tell him. "O... kay?" Steve said, a confused frown on his face that put a little line between his eyebrows. Tony shared a glance with Bucky, gaining confidence when Bucky squeezed his hand. Steve wasn't going to say no, but it was still nerve wracking. "Well, the three of us have been together for a while now, and I know that you're already living with us and that's as properly official as it's going to get, but sometimes it still feels like it's not enough, you know?" Steve was nodding along, and Tony reached into his pocket for the ring box. "We just... we know this won't make it official. It's not legally binding or anything, and most people aren't going to think of it as real, but." Tony shoved the box into Steve's hand. He'd meant to place it in gently-- romantically, if you will-- but he was nervous, so sue him. "I know you feel like a third wheel still sometimes, Steve," Bucky said softly. "And I think part of that is because me and Tony are married to each other, and you aren't. And, yeah, this isn't a legal thing, it's just a symbol, but if we could marry you, we would, punk. Like Tony said, we shoulda done this a long time ago." Steve fumbled for a minute, throat working and fingers clenching around the little box that looked all the smaller in his large hands. Finally, he opened it, staring at the ring that matched Bucky and Tony's. He pulled it out and glanced surreptitiously at the inside to see just how similar it was. Sure enough, there his name was, engraved on the inside of the band next to Tony and Bucky's names, little hearts between them. When he glanced up at them, he saw them both smiling softly at him. Tony pulled on his own ring until it came off, and he held it up for Steve to see; they'd put his name on their rings too. "I never thought I'd get this," he admitted quietly. Bucky moved to Steve's side, putting an arm around his waist and pulling him close. "I'm sorry it couldn't be more official. And I'm sorry that we didn't do this sooner," he added, and both Steve and Tony knew he was referring to his insecurity about his place in their relationship. Steve shook his head, putting the ring on his left hand and flexing his hand around it. It felt strange, but the kind of strange that he was going to love getting used to. "I know it's- I know we're not having a ceremony but can we... take some pictures?" There were pictures of the three of them together all over of course, but Steve felt a little pang of sadness when he saw Tony and Bucky's wedding picture. He'd been at the actual wedding, but considering what had happened since then, it was hard for him to see it. "Yeah," Tony said. "I've still got the suits and everything." Steve smiled, the grin spreading slowly across his face until it was stretched from one end to the other. Ten years ago, the three of them were scattered with issues as tall as skyscrapers, and now they were married. He could definitely get used to this.

#marvel #fanfic #winteriron #stuckony #tony stark #bucky barnes #steve rogers #my writing #dictionary prompts

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