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inkskinned · 5 months

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yesterday while feverish i wrote about how boats can moor next to each other like pigeons, cooing with the gentle rap of water against their hull. you once said that that the way i see things - birds in the water, feathers in marina paint - was "childish and naive." you said i'd been misdiagnosed - "it can't all be adhd. you might be just kind of stupid and lazy."

i still do certain things like how you taught me - turn the pillow case inside out before putting it on. drive defensively. hate myself entirely.

the prompt for this poem is "mahler's fifth." i wish it wasn't, but mahler's fifth was our song. it ended up in my book. every person that knows your name has promised me they'll give you one swift rabbit punch, right to the face. dean read the book and showed up on my front porch, drenched in sweat from running the 8 miles at 4 in the morning. he was shaking. pacifist and gentle - he works with children - i'd never seen him furious. a punch isn't going to do it, he said, and then said i'm sorry. i had to come to see if you were okay.

mahler's fifth was mine first, like my girlhood. i like the way each movement piles onto the next movement, each instrument bleeding into the next. i like the horn version the best. before i met you, i danced to it on grass still-wet from sprinklers.

later you would tell me that the way you heard it was somehow better. you understood something in it that i couldn't quite wrap my fingers into. once, on our anniversary, you asked the classical music radio station to play it for us. we missed hearing it because we were fighting. one of the things people get wrong about abuse is that sometimes victims are, like, brutally aware of the stupidity of our situation. what do you mean that you thought i wasn't good enough for you? you? you're just... nothing.

sometimes people can pull the poetry out of your life. i watched my words become clothesline, and then thin out into kite twine. i watched you chew through every good syllable of me. so many good songs and places and moments were ruined. i am glad you didn't like most of my music - less to tie back to you.

but still mahler's fifth. the music swells, and i am 21 and throwing up in a bathroom on my birthday. a woman i will later refer to as lesbian jesus runs a cool hand down my back, her perfect pantsuit starch-pressed. she told me to leave you. she said - and this is true, and not an invention of rhyme or fantasy - i'm you from the future.

i am 22, and i got home from an award ceremony, and i remember you telling me - you act so proud of yourself when you're actually so fucking embarrassing. i took you to disney world. you took my virginity. i gave up visiting spain for a week with my family - i instead choose you, to spend the time just-cuddling. you called it "our fuck week." the music swells. it probably should have been a red flag that for about 3 years - i just gave up on crying. my grandfather died and you said nothing. my uncle died and you ghosted me for 3 weeks. you said i need to protect myself from your ongoing tragedy.

every so often i come back to the memory of one of our last afternoons in person. i had just told you that i wasn't going to law school, despite the free ride - i was going to join a creative writing program. master's in fine arts. i was going to finally do it - i was going to follow my dreams. this blog was already internet-famous. however reluctantly, i would occasionally refer to myself as a poet. i got into umass amherst's writing program for fiction authors. it is one of the the top 5 programs in the country.

wait are you seriously considering actually attending that? dumbfounded, you turned completely towards me in your seat. for the 3rd time in our relationship, you almost crashed the car. you actually want to be a writer?

the first time i went viral, it was for a poem i wrote about you:

he wants to say i love you but keeps it to goodnight because love will take some falling and she's afraid of heights.

every time i see that, i want to throw up. you weren't in love with me, you were in love with the control you had over me. a little truth though: i am afraid of heights. you caught a rabbitgirl and skinned her alive.

mahler's fifth still makes me sick.

give me that back. give me back music. give me back everything i had before you. give me back fearlessness. give me back bravery. give me back a scarless body.

give me back what you took from me.

#nosebleed club #sorry stephen not ur fault #just like. thinking #writeblr #spilled ink #warm up #every time nat is like - oh let me get that for u #im like .... this is a trick right like ur gonna be mean now bc u did something nice rn #so obviously if ur being nice now either u did something mean and im about to learn about it #or you're going to BE mean #or ur gonna hold this over my head forever and i'll never get a nice thing ever again?#and every time nat is like .... babe i just actually like u #lesbian jesus story is 100% real btw. she also told me not to be an event planner #literally changed the shape of my life

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isla24 · 5 months

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BL releasing schedules are so irregular, like... what do you mean I am bored to death for three days and then bombarded with shows about things like male escorts, omegaverse, 8 gays in a cabin (that are stupid), I take 7 episodes to realise someone likes me WHILE THEY HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU FOR 5, I can read minds because I'm a virgin, scam cooking course but I secretly like you, gay supernatural cops, and the absolute masterpiece that is Last Twilight???

#playboyy #pit babe #dead friend forever #middleman's love #cherry magic thailand #cooking crush #the sign the series #last twilight #thai bl #thai drama

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preqvelle · 7 months

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Would you let me touch your soul forever?

#life eternal #ghost band #ghost #my gifs #queue #cardinal copia #will i see him like this when i die #he looks heavenly #babe you already touched my soul forever #rat man

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pealeii · 9 months

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normalize asexual people saying “i’m so gay”

#asexual #asexuality #ace #ace pride #lqbtqia+#queer #🌈#bc you are babe #do whatever you want forever

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szollibisz · 2 months

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WHO ALLOWED THEM TO DO THIS

god bless @smytherines for the high quality saf screenshots 🙏🙏🙏

#owen babe do you wanna torture this man or fuck him #spies are forever #tin can bros #saf #art #fanart #saf fanart #owen carvour #agent curt mega #spies are forever fanart #tin can bros fanart #tcb #tcb fanart #curtwen #the deadliest man alive #dma

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jeeaark · 2 months

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final showdown pt2.

This was one of those battles where I survived it without a single reload. So. This entire scene? Accurate. Embarrassingly Accurate. (except the healy dealy. that's Greygold flair)

Wanted to get to the crown as fast as possible, but had to fly by Emps. Literally stopped next to bud to personally yell/reassure the fool I was gonna save their ass and then risked the opportunity attack.

(which. I forgot to bring my dex 18 gloves and discovered illithidism had shit dex, so....IS FINE. GG IS ALL FOR STARTING A NEW COLLECTION OF FRIENDSHIP SCARS)

BUT SQUID BUDDY MISSED. so. I like to think Enthralled Emps had put some effort into jumping through some rather large logic hoops to miss. Unlike Greygold who put JACK effort into dodging.

I originally intended to leave Emps completely alone, risk the attacks. But. Brain tentacle surprise happened. Right next to the squid. Emps rolled high in initiative.... But not as high as Lae'zel. Game-wise, ✨I panicked✨. Story-wise? I don't think this could have been any more in-character. Albeit, I found myself quadruple checking to make sure knockout mode was ABSOLUTELY on

#bg3 spoilers #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #the emperor bg3 #lae'zel #illithid tav #greygold #squid greygold #Man there's so many past comic refs I don't feel like linking hope you all are keeping up hUAR #If GG had known emps would be there they would not have worn that guardian armor but they are too stubborn to admit they whoopsied #I don't remember jack in the other timeline final battle (sadly) but this fight? forever burned into my soul. good drama yo.#I will never get over how Greygold use to have the AC of an Ancient Red Dragon and now they're AC is Squid Chum SQUID CHUM #GREYGOLD'S AIM IS SQUID CHUM TOO AUGH #As much as I keep ragging on Emps I love Lae'zel to death as well. knocked that squid out in one go to protect her squid-Joy ehuehuehueh #I can only imagine that she never thought she'd have to resist killing not one but -two- mindflayers for the sake of love....Love you babe~#CHARACTER GROWTH INDEED

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doreensladle · 23 days

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sad dm :(

#dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #fh junior year #d20 fhjy #brennan lee mulligan #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fhjy spoilers #the energy I bring to a party fr #sorry brennan it’s you against the world for this one babe #bad kids forever

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beatleswings · 25 days

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LINDA McCARTNEY. July 17, 1974. Photo taken by JERRY BAILEY.

#i know this pic has been around forever but again...high quality!! :3 #and my goodness she is so beautiful!#look at this babe #linda mccartney #1970s #70s #1974 #non edits

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zhouxiangs · 4 months

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NUT SUPANUT as Way in PIT BABE (2023)

#pit babe #pit babe the series #nut supanut #pitbabeedit #sasa gifs #way my most belovedest blorbo you will live forever in my heart #went both blind and mad making this #anyway #'how many gifs are there per ep?' yes #yes i had to cull them #you can see the downward spiral and the glimpse of hope FOR NOTHING #why did i do this to myself

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subtlesolitude-tailoredtaste · 3 months

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youtube

THE GENTLEMAN - GUY RICHIE’S NETFLIX WORLD PREMIERE IN LONDON WITH ALL THE CAST AND Q&A

STEVIES WORLD UK

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339

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Mar 8

2024

Join me as I experience my first ever Red Carpet event at Guy Richie’s Netflix World Premiere of the Gentleman TV series at London’s Theatre Royal Drury Lane. I was lucky enough to see the cast on the red carpet, the premiere of the first episode and a Q&A session after the screening with all the cast alongside the series director.

The series premiered on Netflix on the 7th March and in respect to the cast and crew this video is being released the day after, so hopefully no spoilers.

The Gentlemen is a television series created by Guy Ritchie. It is a spin-off of Ritchie's 2019 film of the same name. The series stars Theo James and consists of eight episodes.

Eddie Halstead has unexpectedly inherited an estate of 15,000 acres and the title of Duke of Halstead from his recently deceased father, but he learns that the land has become part of a weed-growing empire run by Bobby Glass. Now, he must navigate a world of eclectic and dangerous characters with nefarious agendas, while also trying to protect his home and stay alive.

CAST

Theo James as Eddie Halstead, the new Duke of Halstead.

Kaya Scodelario as Susie Glass

Daniel Ings as Freddy Halstead, Eddie's older brother.

Joely Richardson as Lady Sabrina Halstead, Eddie and Freddy's mother.

Giancarlo Esposito as Stanley Johnston, a wine aristocrat who is trying to buy the Halstead Manor.

Peter Serafinowicz as Tommy Dixon, a member of the Scouse crime family.

Pearce Quigley as John “the Gospel” Dixon, Tommy's brother and the head of the Scouse crime family.

Vinnie Jones as Geoff Seacombe, the groundskeeper of the Halstead Manor

Chanel Cresswell as Tammy

Max Beesley as Henry Collins

Harry Goodwins as Jack

Ruby Sear as Gabrielle

Ray Winstone as Bobby Glass

Dar Salim as Felix, a “cleaner”

Guy Ritchie entered development of a television series for him to write and direct inspired by his film The Gentlemen with Moonage Pictures and Miramax Television in October 2020. Ritchie was also executive producing alongside the producers of the original film. Matthew Read helped Richie write the pilot script, also coming on board to executive produce at Moonage with Will Gould, and Netflix ultimately ordered the series. The cast; including Theo James, Kaya Scodelario, Daniel Ings, Joely Richardson, Giancarlo Esposito, Peter Serafinowicz, and Vinnie Jones; was announced the week before filming was set to begin, and Alexis Rodney was added in the first week of filming. In June 2023, Max Beesley was added to the cast, and Hugh Warren was revealed as the series producer. Chanel Cresswell joined the cast in a recurring role during production in December. Ray Winstone was revealed to be part of the cast through a teaser in January 2024.

Production took place in London and Badminton House running from November 2022 through June 2023. Filming took place at Longcross Studios and West London Film Studios with additional on-location shooting throughout the town, including at the Princess Victoria pub and the Tate Modern as well as areas of Hackney and Islington.

#afternoon soundtracking #the gentlemen #guy ritchie #q&a #giancarlo esposito #forever a babe #i heart Giancarlo Esposito #art #media #storytelling #society #Youtube

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drawnfamiliarfaces · 6 months

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ew, old men, on inherently opposite moral sides and dramatically different moral values, flirting fighting????

its more likely than you think ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)

#ninja showdown #my immortal soul #first ninja x chase young #chase young #rc9gn first ninja #first ninja #rc9gn #xiaolin showdown #randy cunningham 9th grade ninja #listen i know it seemed like a joke when i said they suddenly became my comfort ship but like??i cant stop drawing them. help.#i dunno why but its so fun to draw chase being all 'hey babe i know im evil & you are good & we tried to kill each other a couple of times #but do you wanna abondon your duty and be in my fallen warrior harem and stay immortal with me forever?' ;)#and first is just like- constantly having a conniption lol #if i ever draw first not angry in presence of chase im not sure whos gonna have a heart attack me or chase

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cat-mentality · 5 months

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It's funny really, how much the children have taken from their adoptive parents.

How looking at them is something akin to looking in a mirror.

Richarlyson who has a little bit of every one of his parents. Pac's warm eyes, Felp's curly hair, Mike's smile. Richarlyson who loves building, who is curious and adventurous, who always has a witty remark in the tip of his tongue, who is so protective of those he loves, who has so much love to give.

Pomme with Pierre's smile and Baghera's eyes. Pomme who is fierce and clever, who loves deeply and selflessly, who will take charge of any situation and bows to no one, who stands strong even in the face of the worst adversary.

Empanada whose hair is a mixture of Bagi's and Mouse's, whose eyes are just like Tina's, who laughs and smiles like Niki, the same sharp teeth. Empanada who is kind and gentle and loving, who likes soft things and to take care of her animals, who loves her siblings and would do anything for them.

Sunny with Tubbo's smile, who doesn't recognize the features of her other parents in her face, she has Pol's warm brown eyes, Lenay's cherry red lips and round cheekbones, Slime's light brown hair. Sunny who clung to the person who loved her dearly, who is witty and hardworking, who looks at things and is never satisfied with how they are, who always wants them to be better, who never settles for scraps.

Pepito with Carre's bright green eyes, Quackity's dimpled smile, who doesn't recognize his hair color as matching with Rivers', who doesn't even know he and Mariana match with their glasses. Pepito with his love for movies and spiders, with his drawings and his bright smile, who likes Amarantos and helping people, who laughs and laughs at every little thing, a bundle of joy.

It's tragic really, how much the children have taken from their adoptive parents.

How looking at them is something akin to looking in a mirror.

Richarlyson who has never had a birthday with all his family together and unharmed by the world, Richarlyson who despite the best effort of his fathers has known tragedy as much as he has known joy.

Richarlyson who puts a smile on his face, like his pai Forever, who hides his pain because he can’t think about burdening them with his feelings when he knows how much they have suffered, how much they keep on suffering, Richarlyson who knows they hide things from him to protect him and wants to return the favor, wants to give as much as they have given him. Richas who tries to be a beacon of light, who just wants to protect people, who wants them to be happy and safe even if that means putting himself in harm’s way.

Richas who smiles so brightly, who jokes even in the darkest moments, and that makes people forget he is only a child. Who is treated as older than he truly is, as stronger than he truly is, as if people don’t realize how fragile, how young he is. Richas like his pai Pac, trying to turn every dark moment into a joke in the futile hope that it will make things hurt less, that downplays every nightmare that comes his way because if he can joke about it, it couldn’t be that bad right? He is fine! Look at him, smiling and joking, and breaking down when no one can see him.

Richarlyson, who likes his pai Cellbit has a part of himself that he is terrified of. A darkness that spreads around his chest, that comes to light in bursts that leave him shaken and scared in their wake, Richarlyson who is scared of himself, who doesn’t understand where he come from, why those things happen to him, Richarlyson who is so much like the little boy Cellbit doesn’t remember being, the little boy Bagi has searched her whole life for. Richas who, just like his pai, tries to push that part away, as deep as he can, because he is terrified that it will cause harm to the people he loves, who will every single time choose to be the one harmed over them without thinking twice.

Pomme who was born with a target on her back and a weapon in her hands. Pomme who has had to fight for her right to exist just as much as she had to fight for the love of her parents, Pomme shaped by the eternal guilt of those moments where others had to risk their lives for her sake, marked by the initial rejection.

Pomme who thinks she must protect her sibling and her parents even if that means hurting herself, Pomme who would gladly, easily, set herself on fire for the sake of others. Pomme wh, like her dads Pierre and Antoine, hides her problems deep inside because she would never want to share her burdens and her pains with others, who wants to fix things herself without having to involve others.

Like her mother Baghera, who wants to protect everyone, who will spread herself thin trying to do the right thing, trying to keep her loved ones safe and happy. Pomme who loves without expecting the same level of devotion back, who loves even when she doesn't believe she will receive anything in return. A warrior out of need, made a survivor by the world around her.

Like her father Etoiles who finds comfort in holding a weapon, in fighting a battle. Pomme like Etoiles who looks at her loved ones and puts herself as their protector, who bases her worth on her ability to keep them safe. If she can't protect them, if she can't help them when they need, then what is her worth? Why would they love her if she failed in her only duty? Pomme like Etoiles who takes the burden on her shoulders because she cannot imagine she will be worthy of their love otherwise, because she believes it's what she needs to do even if no one would ever tell her so.

Empanada who doesn't fit.

Like Bagi, a stranger in a strange land, someone to whom people still look at with distrust sometimes, wrapped in the knowledge that at the end of the day everyone else has other priorities, others they will seek first, others they will always love more and at peace with it no matter how much it hurts. Empanada, like her mamãe, used to chase after ghosts of affection, clinging to scraps because for the most part of her life that is all she had.

Like Tina, hiding parts of herself in a desperate attempt to be loved. Chopping away the ugly bits, the things she believes no one wants to see, that no one would ever love, the hard parts, pushing it all away because she is terrified of what they will think of her if they see it. Empanada like her Eomma, who doesn't believe people will love her if they see the darkness inside of her heart, if they knew what she lived through before the Island.

Like Niki, still struggling to find her place, to feel like she is part of everything, feeling that she is always at the fringes of everything, never a part of whatever is happening.

Like Jaiden, the mother she never met. Haunted by the past, alone in her grief and her sadness because she cannot burden her siblings, who all have the same trauma, because they all need to heal even if she stays shattered because it is her job to protect them and she has failed too much already, because she doesn't believe others will offer her support since she is still a stranger to them, Empanada who doesn't know the woman who she shares so much with, who is still unsure if she will ever be accepted by her.

Sunny who clung to Tubbo with desperation because he was there, who tries so hard to be loved, to be accepted, to be trusted, who bases her worth in that. Sunny like her father, feeling like a stranger, feeling left out, desperately trying to carve a place for herself into the hearts of others because she is starving for love but cannot put those feelings into words, cannot bear the vulnerability of truly asking for it.

Little child who like her father never feels like she is enough. Sunny, who smiles brightly, who is happy and energetic, who acts as if she is the best because deep inside she believes she is the opposite. Sunny who takes rejection as a proof of her own failure to be loved, who puts on herself the burden because if they can love everyone else, if they can accept all the children but her, surely she is the problem right?

Sunny like Tubbo who shoves her insecurities as deep as she can, who pretends they don't exist unless she is with those she trusts the most because she wants to be strong, she wants to be good, she wants to be loved.

Pepito who is not as much of a mirror to their parents as they are a glimpse into the past, as to whom they used to be before the world crushed their spirits and mind. Pepito who is loved by people who hate themselves so deeply that they cannot help but hate them as well.

Pepito who just like Roier smiles no matter what is happening around them, who hides everything behind said smile, who doesn't want to let sadness cloud their vision, to damper their optimism, who clings to the good parts, not yet tainted by the betrayals and loss that changed the apa they never saw smile. Pepito like Mariana, like the man they have never meet, the father that is barely spoken of, who pushes pain and grief away, who laughs and ignores the bad bits because it would shatter them, like it shattered this ghost of a father.

Pepito who loves freely, carelessly, who opens their heart to everyone, Pepito who sees goodness even when there is nothing good, who trusts people, who wants to be exactly like this apa Quackity with his sad eyes, who believes they can fix people, that they can make them happy, that has hope that better things are to come. Pepito who will always put everyone else's happiness before their own.

Pepito, who is cursed with the love of people who know loss like an old friend, a constant companion, Pepito who is a ghost of siblings they will never know, forever in the shadows of their loss. Pepito who is loved by people who are just waiting for the moment the world will break Pepito's spirit, for the moment they, cursed as they believe themselves to be, will somehow destroy this child because their hands have proven time and time again that they are not made for softness, for protection. Pepito whose joy is a curse, an offense for people whose hearts cannot stand to be hurt more, who don't believe that goodness and purity can last.

The children are the mirrors of their parents, for better or worse.

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