#fucking southeast. why is it so awful
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Thoughts about the FL thing, sans money now.
So that one friend who moved to Cali FINALLY texted me. I can't blame her at all for taking that time. It was hectic. Basically suddenly finding your existence illegal and the fact that she was in an accepting household could risk her mom losing her youngest kid. Like FL is fucked up and I'm glad she's safe now.
And then me saying that I'm moving back to FL soon and she's just instant panic. Instantly worried about me. Telling me that if i go, i shouldn't come out. I shouldn't continue with that at all. Put the gender fuckery on hold. I think she even offered to help me out to Cali also once she's got her own place out there.
Honestly, sounds pretty nice.
I mean, the guy I've been talking with for all this time and basically have a long distance, soon to be short distance, relationship with has been listening to everything I've been saying about FL and iirc, Cali is actually a state where his insulin might come cheaper and easier. We've literally been talking about taking our time in town, getting money, saving money, and leaving the state, perhaps even the country. Like, he needs a place with socialized healthcare so he doesn't have a pricetag on his life and i need a place where i can literally be myself. And that place sure isn't FL.
Jeez, going back to FL in this political climate is so damn terrifying but i can't stay here. I'm losing my mind here. I'm stuck in a tiny ass place with too much stuff to fit into my damn 6x8 ft room that has 0 air flow, with a 14yo who acts like she's 7 (she's mentally okay, she's just immature and won't grow. like you give her advice and she starts guilting you about how she's not perfect). I've got my dad who i haven't been with for longer than a month since i was 8, who can't get anything done without at least a month of procrastination. We're all broke. There's planes and trains and trucks that shake the whole trailer every hour 24/7. It's not walkable. Hell, it's hardly drivable with all those axle-breaking potholes and blind intersections. There are even air quality warnings like once a week. And that's not about the smokescreen over the northeast. That's just what it's Like Here. Our water is brown like once a month. I swear like three water mains leading to our area burst since January. There are even shootings basically once a week within five miles of here. I hear guns firing constantly at like 2am like clockwork.
I'm broke. I can't deal with it here. The payments needed to keep a car legal are higher in this state than most others. (including mandatory inspections? That YOU pay for??)
What the fuck even is this city?
At least in FL, i know the town well. I know the people. I know the roads. It's kept nice because it's a damn tourist trap. Not some still-segregated urban sprawl. Sure, there's annoying rednecks there and snowbirds who act like they own the place, but you're less likely to get shot going to the gas station or break your car's entire front axle after not swerving around the wrong pothole so you don't get hit head-on by a tanker.
Sure, I'm going to be terrified to be as gnc as i am. But what's another couple years in the closet, right? right? 🙃
Just have to keep my job, keep that guy close so I seem straight/cis passing, and hold my tongue in public. And maybe not look queer to an emt if something bad happens. Suck up dysphoria for a while and actually wear form-fitting clothes so nobody will try anything.
Holy fuck the entire southeast is so fucked up. Why do i have to be stuck here?
#taks speaks#*screams into the void*#my choices are basically tanker town where you can't breathe the air or drink the water once a month#or the state of embodied transphobia#fucking southeast. why is it so awful
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Something I do like about the character writing for DFF is that 1) The characters really do feel like messy teenagers 2) The characters do shitty things, hurt each other or do harmful things to themselves that - frustrating and painful as it is to watch - make sense for the character and their circumstances. The characters don't often make the smart or best decision, but for the most part, it makes sense in context.
Tw for discussion of sexual abuse
Like am I mentally yelling at Non to forget about the movie, ditch these shitty 'friends', be honest with Phee, report Kru Keng and to move to Phee's school? Yes, I am. Do I understand why he doesn't do any of those things? Yes, I do.
He's a teenager who's mentally ill, isolated, with low self esteem and coming from a place of poverty.
As a kid, I was also part of a group of 'friends' who were actually bullies. Although things never went nearly as far as they do in DFF, I can get where Non's coming from. When you're that desperate for acceptance and to be a part of a group (however shitty it may be), and when perhaps they're not even always shitty, just enough so to make you consider staying around, you'll stay around in the hope things get better.
Non's family are poor - to the point of taking out loans for New - and he's already brought trouble to their door due to the money laundering scheme, as well as to his parents' relationship. In contrast to New - who's implied to be the golden child - Non likely feels like he's brought nothing but trouble and misery to his family.
As someone who's mentally ill and on medication, I wouldn't be surprised if he felt ashamed of his mental illness as well, and felt like that already made him a 'burden' to his family. Disclaimer that I don't know how mental illness is treated in Thailand specifically, but as someone from an East/Southeast Asian background, I do feel like in general, mental illness is something that still has a more of a stigma to it in Asia than it does in the West (not that there isn't stigma here too). Like, I would never tell my mum I'm in therapy because I feel like she wouldn't truly understand, and might even blame herself for me going. From her point of view, only 'crazy' people, someone with something seriously wrong with them or someone suffering from severely traumatic event would go to therapy.
When Non got taken in by the police, Phee talked to his dad to get him released, putting himself in potential trouble with his dad and potential future trouble with the police if this comes under any further scrutiny.
Non says time and time again he doesn't want to be a burden to anyone, and he already feels like he's been a burden to his family and Phee. He knows his family can't afford the debt, and he doesn't want to trouble Phee further. So when Kru Keng offers him money in exchange for sex, even though he knows what Kru Keng's doing is wrong, even though he doesn't want to lie and 'cheat' on Phee (and don't tell me it's 'cheating'; again, this is an adult in a position of power grooming a vulnerable youngster), he believes he'd be bringing his troubles to his loved ones and doesn't want to be even more of a 'burden.' So he has sex with Kru Keng.
And then Phee's reaction to finding out. Does he react badly and then say something really awful to Non by telling him to get lost and die? Yes. Do I understand why he reacted like that? Yes! Again, he's a teenager, and probably one in his first serious relationship, and reacting out of anger and hurt, without full details of the situation or understanding of why what Kru Keng's doing is incredibly wrong (even if Non seems to be 'consenting').
Unfortunately, in cases of real life teacher-student grooming, it's not uncommon for the reaction of students (especially teenagers) to not be one of 'oh, that's fucked up, the teacher's a monster, poor student [x]' but for the victim to be ridiculed or slut-shamed by some quarters, especially if it's seen as 'consensual.'
Jin's reaction too. Is it shitty he videoed Non and then (almost?) posted it on social media? Yes. Is it because of him taking that video that it somehow got disseminated to the rest of the school? Yes. Do I understand why he reacted this way? Yes. People are messy and human, and doesn't always react in the best ways in the face of hurt, anger and immaturity
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AMY’S BRIDGES
how are you supposed to cross the river in east london?
tower bridge is the last bridge over the thames until the big ol’ suspension bridge way further out. everything else here is tunnels (mostly)
for road tunnels, there’s the rotherhithe tunnel - the tenth most dangerous tunnel in europe due to lax safety features, where large vehicles including busses are banned, and “a rare example of a road tunnel where traffic, pedestrians and cyclists all share the same bore”. for the love of sin, don’t go in that hole. then there’s the blackwall tunnel for road traffic only, which only one bus route uses, and it’s under-construction neighbour the silvertown tunnel, the road traffic-only worst tunnel ever that’ll increase congestion in the docklands, won’t benefit drivers with an easier route, and won’t ease congestion out of blackwall due to not offering alternative modes bar busses
so, then there’s the tunnel of the windrush line, crossing from rotherhithe to wapping and connecting to the DLR and the jubilee. but this line serves central-south london, not south east, where it doesn’t connect to anything. its utility as a crossing in-and-of-itself is really only for the people very close to it anyway. but there’s the jubilee - when approaching from waterloo way on this is a good connection to canary wharf and the dlr. but its last station before the tunnel is at canada water, over a kilometre before the river. it’s worthless as a crossing. out of north greenwich (aka Dome) it’s got two tunnels to canary wharf and canning town - but the only reason you’ll have to cross the river there is if you happen to find yourself on the peninsula. which is why it’s fucking ridiculous that mayor disgraced journalist racist cunt built his zip line there - basically fucking mirroring a route between two tube stations. there is the elizabeth at the end of the docklands, but i don’t know if anyone would use it for the only purpose of crossing the river there, because it’s served by the only ray of hope, the DLR, which plugs greenwich into canary wharf and woolwich into the royal docks. and that’s yer lot
SO
with such awful crossings, the two halves are totally blown apart. road traffic needs to happen, yes, but in a dense cityscape people need to be on the transit systems to reduce the burden. what can we do?
the pool of london is dead. big ships do not need to go up there. london bridge has a clearance of ~9m for river boats, so any bridge we build further out doesn’t need any more clearance. this does mean the Belfast will have to move, unless we’re okay with trapping her in. the top of rotherhithe to limehouse is the best place for a mass transit-only bridge, it may be narrower than tower bridge, and connect two areas that are totally splayed open. there should be some sort of transit mode going vertically from limehouse (for the dlr), up mile end and forking to either hackney or stratford, and down to surrey quays, and then forking to greenwich for the dlr there and west laterally, either north-ish up to elephant & castle or south-ish to brixton, or better yet, both. i say mode because a lot of things could work here, but the best would be a mix of things. here’s my idea
amy fuck presents the Limehouse Bridge
with a length-over-water of 250m, this carfree bridge connects a major transit avenue to an area prime to host connections for the people of southeast london. from the centre of limehouse, exactly where the rotherhithe tunnel’s bendy route emerges, the road south intersects with Cycle Superhighway 3. from CS3, we’ll bulldoze the tired-looking building blocking the view, and fly over to rotherhithe, bulldozing some gentrified townhouses to cut past a playing field to have plugged in to both rotherhithe street and salter road
i propose two primary pubtrans modes using the bridge: the dlr, and trams. expanding the heavy tram network, often more akin to light rail, will be vital to making the transit of central-south london as good as the north, and connecting up the dlr will cement its use in the southeast as well as the northeast
i’ll cover my dlr proposals first, though, perhaps the name docklands would have to be dropped at this point. with possibly a light rail route up north, from the limehouse bridge the light rail network can return round surrey quays to connect into greenwich, creating a vital and necessary corridor. in addition, from greenwich the route can continue to woolwich and the thamesmead extension, creating a lateral backbone to ensure usage of the dlr’s tunnels rather than the road tunnels. in addition, the lateral routes can provide vital transport for the greater southwark area with two branches, one forming a new corridor to elephant & castle, through an area with appalling connections relative to its centrality, maybe even continuing onwards to waterloo or vauxhall, or even to parliament itself. the second is to serve as an area backbone for communities, through bermondsey, peckham, camberwell and brixton, perhaps continuing to battersea or closing the loop at vauxhall. the limehouse bridge will be the linchpin of this new system, its connectivity bringing rotherhithe and the surrey quays to life, becoming a counterweight of humanity against the looming towers of canary wharf
the heavy tram systems i propose, however, i will not illustrate. because i believe they should spread out from their start in wimbledon, croydon and beckenham to form a much larger network for south london, replicating, surpassing the north’s tube, much larger than i can draw today. from limehouse bridge, the heavy tram network can integrate the areas south of the brixton spoke: crystal palace, dulwich, norwood, streatham, clapham, tooting, bromley, lewisham
all of which leaves limehouse bridge: pedestrians, cycle superhighway, light rail, heavy tram, no motor vehicles. a triumph of modern planning, the aorta of the east
so with the dlr from this bridge serving the greenwich and deptford regions, no more crossings will be needed here due to the dlr’s tunnel at the end of the isle of dogs. it’s all plugged in - and the dome has the jubilee tunnels, which could be co-opted by any new over-ground “underground” lines to serve the area if they are needed. destroy the fucking cable car. fell it. yell timber
prioritising those heavy trams now, we can connect charlton through silvertown and eastenders with a new tunnel. with the unnecessary silvertown road tunnel opening 2025, more road connections aren’t needed. so - pubtrans from charlton to newham - then heavy trams in the tunnel like it’s a miniature channel tunnel. also feature pedestrian and cycle access, obviously
there had been suggestions that the suffragette line (formerly the goblin) after barking riverside might cross the river to thamesmead, where that dlr extension might go. do it. this has to be commuter rail now, as we’re threading suburbs together. after that, we’re probably well served enough until the dartford suspension bridge
but… cars and road traffic are an unfortunate reality. with ground broken (or water broken?) on the silvertown tunnel, unholy amounts of heavy traffic are going to be funnelled through greenwich and poplar. removing passengers who can be removed can only help us so much. the unfortunate truth is a woolwich road bridge, replacing the ferry, is a good idea. toll it to high hell obviously, but it should help ease congestion that has now been caused by the silvertown. with plentiful other passenger connections, and ensuring anti-car policies are kept up to make sure only people with a damn good reason are driving through the area, this bridge could be helpful. but of course, without any of that, it would be a polluting, congesting disaster. but we were on a spending spree anyway
anyway. bridges
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Been playing more skyrim recently, and I gotta say that I really don't know how I can support the stormcloaks. I'll probably do a playthrough at some point where I join them, but that'll just be for the quests me thinks.
For one, I feel like there are far better ways to defy the thalmor than rebelling against your own people. Why not build up military power as much as possible? I'm pretty sure toryg was against the thalmor if i remember right, and the emperor is the same. Instead of fighting a small rebellion help turn the entirety of skyrim into a prosperous nation and go to war with the thalmor alongside the empire. It really doesn't make much sense.
Second, the stormcloaks winning wouldnt really mean much in the long run. Cool, you beat some of the empire. Now you have a destabilized region that has lost (in game hundreds) thousands of citizens and soldiers to your civil war. You can see this during the game too, it's already bad. Now you can wait a few years and get invaded, or maybe you'll have continued splinter factions, or the massive bandit, vampire, etc. Populace is going to become an increasingly large issue. At least with the empire in power you have two factions worrying about their territories. Now you have one, who just came out of a war, is now trying to control several holds and towns who disagree or hate this faction, have various parties within said holds willing to fight and possibly create an additional rebellion, and on and on and on.
Third, while i havent beaten the main quest of skyrim, i imagine that an imperial victory is just generally better for the country(?) Than a stormcloak one. For one, the area is now safer generally. Sure, you have some of the same issues as a stormcloak victory such as more rebellious groups and destabilized area, but now you have connection to the rest of the empire too. Windhelm might stop being a racist shithole, and riften can hopefully have the black briars taken out of power. Hopefully the rest of winterhold sinks into the fucking ocean*. Dawnstar....exists...i guess.
Lastly, i know that an imperial victory is still somewhat bad for skyrim. The legion will most likely start to exert more military control across the region, citing the rebellion as to why they need to. Talos worshippers are driven even further underground. The imperials, at least in the military, do not care about the nords culture. The giants probably get wiped out. Skyrim will be wounded, and the imperials will seep into that wound like never before.
I know this is probably as cold a take as the icicle lodged in my chest after fighting a necromancer, but it's been on my mind for a few days.
*god i fucking hate winterhold. Piece of shit fucking place. Awful. I play survival mode skyrim and there arent any fucking wagons or boats at winterhold. You know what you get instead? Bears and ice wolves and horkers. You either go southeast along the coast to windhelm, where you get assaulted by said animals, west to dawnstar where the same happens, or south to like whiterun i think where there are no more horkers just the fucking mountains and i think frost wisps or whatever. Why didnt they leave? Why not relocate? There are so many much better places than on the god damn coast. Leave, make a nice mountain mining village or something. We need a place between whiterun and markarth, settle there. At least dawnstar has a boat and falkreath doesn't have shit geography. Theres more than just black grey and white there.
Also why are almost all the jarls shitheads. Falkreath, winterhold, dawnstar, windhelm, riften, and apparently markarth all have shitheads as rulers. Barlgruuf is amazing and the lady in solitude is there i guess.
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thoughts on the Lilac costume drama
I’m about to get so many people mad omg, I might delete this if it gets to the wrong people
Now I’m southeast Asian, so I’m not here to say whether or not the costume is bad
I’m here to make sure y’all check yourselves cause the way non South Asian and Middle Eastern people reacted to his costume is fucking insane. (especially on twitter)
It is NOT your place to say what is and is not offensive
It is NOT your place to talk about how much his costume is racist if you haven’t actually heard good insight from knowing people
It is up to the people affected to talk about why a particular thing Is bad
It is up to the people that could be affected to educate people as to why it might not be bad
And don’t take this as if you can’t have an opinion on an issue, you can ofc but don’t go spewing it out as if it’s any good
Y’all need to speak WITH them not FOR THEM
And the reason I’m taking this so seriously is because I see this shit ALL the time outside of the cookie run fandom
I mean if you don’t have any good valuable insight to say, don’t fucking speak it’s not that hard. Don’t undermine things just because you personally don’t think it’s bad, holy shit it’s not up for you and other people who aren’t affected to decide!! And they don’t have to find it as awful as you think they’re making it, but they totally can!! You should still listen to them either way.
#Cookie run#Cookie run discourse#Yeah I put this in the main tag y'all need to hear this#what are you gonna do about it huh?? /lh#If y'all need it I can add on to why this is such a bigger issue#I wrote this at 12am so please take it with a grain of salt#There might be grammar issues but I tried my best to fix them with my sleepy jello brain
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Otou-Chan
Yuta Nakamoto x Reader (Y/N) Smut
(Chapter Twenty Four)
Summary: 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐡𝐰𝐚 𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐘𝐮𝐭𝐚’𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬.
Warning: (Again, I don’t know if you can tag this as angst.)
Word Count: 2.8k
Tag List: @ailoveyuta 🥰
Masterlist
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️
24. Sayonara
It's been years. Five years, ten months, twenty-three days, four hours… He can still count the minutes and seconds if he likes but he'll miss her more.
The last time he knew something about her, she finished her art study in New York and transferred to Canada. After that, he isn't sure what happened to her.
He went to the country once, telling his friends that it's for business and nothing personal, which they obviously didn't buy. In the end, it was a vain attempt to find her. Like finding a needle in a haystack and even Taeyong said that it's a suicide mission.
One time, his stepmother visited him and asked help to see her ex-husband to which he agreed. He doesn't have any choice anyway, he also wanted to know what happened to him. And he promised her, that he will take care of his stepmom.
It was weird to see the two of them, the foster parents of the girl he loved, sitting in front of each other and talking like matured individuals. Didn't they realize that they just ruin someone's life because of their irresponsibility? But what the older man said surprised Yuta, "If ever you see (Y/N), can you tell her that I'm sorry? I know it's not enough but I just want her to know that I'm proud of her even if she's not my daughter." If only she's here to hear that. He'll probably get to see her smile again.
And now, he badly wants to see her.
--
Yuta smiled to himself as he sat on the business class of the plane to Paris. Their first encounter. She's so fearless back then, shouting in front of a guy who just molested a girl. And she caught his eye that instant, like a magic spell that binds him to her. Koi no Yokan, his premonition of love. And he's still in that bind. He's still in love with her. Only (Y/N).
Paris only brought memories of her. That time he was seated in front of a pastry shop and his eye caught a familiar girl entering the opposite coffee shop. It was still a mystery why he's infatuated with the girl who rejected him at the plane. But that coffee shop date made him sure of one thing, he's not just lusting over this girl. He liked her smile, he liked how sincere her smile is that made his heart hurt. He missed those smiles. He missed her so much.
Maybe it was too much reminiscing that he forgot to keep an eye on one thing, a person actually. "Fuck, Shiho!"
--
(Y/N) was still astounded at how Paris looked like the place she once saw in the book. She had been here before but didn't get the chance to tour around because of a certain Japanese guy. Her Japanese guy. Her phone rang and she answered the call, rolling her eyes at the other person on the line. "Yes, I'm already here. Where are you?" By now, she's just annoyed. She should be enjoying this day in Paris, why does she have to meet him now?
She was by a fountain when she saw a young girl crying, seated on the edge of the statue. What is she doing here alone? Where are her parents? (Y/N) crouched down to her height, smiling at her. "Hi." She greeted and the child looked at her, still crying. She's so cute, she thought. "Are you lost? Where are your parents?"
"Otou-chan left me." The young girl said in Japanese that surprised her.
(Y/N) had to smile at that. It's weird hearing the word Otou-chan, she's used to saying it to address Yuta. "Do you want me to help you look for your dad?" She said in fluent Japanese that made the sobbing girl look at her in surprise. "What's your name?"
"Shiho." That's a cute name. "Shiho Nakamoto." What? She wanted her to repeat what she said but a distant voice can be heard calling for 'Shiho'. A voice she badly wanted to hear. "Otou-chan." The young girl shouted in glee, running to the owner of the voice. Shiho Nakamoto? Otou-Chan? Yuta is already married?
Slowly, she stood up without facing him. How can they meet like this again? And really, of all places, here in Paris? "Excuse me, thank you for staying with…" She just nodded at that, trying her very best to not face him. What if he's with his wife? This will be really awkward.
"Noona!" Someone called that made her look to the side. Her savior. She didn't care whether Yuta would realize that it was her but she dashed to where Mark is, holding his arm and dragging him away from the place. "Wait, why?" The younger guy asked in panic.
But she just pulled him until they're inside the museum. "He's here." Mark gave her a confused look and she gestured at the painting hanging by the center of the museum. The guy looked surprised at that, giggling when she looked annoyed.
It pissed her off that of all the paintings that their class made, it was the painting of Yuta that is getting featured in their exhibit. She just did it since she missed him but Mark saw it and showed it to their director that it got chosen as the main exhibit. This is a stupid move. What if he finds this painting? He'll found out that she's not over him yet when he's obviously done with her. God, what should she do if his wife founds out?
And he has a daughter now? She can't believe that someone experienced Yuta's stamina. Well, the kid is kind of cute and she resembles Yuta's eyes. She should have stared at her longer. Who is the mother of that child? Who is Yuta's wife?
---
That night is the gala for the Asian art exhibit that their school sponsored, a collection of artworks from students that depict Asian culture. (Y/N) is really nervous since it's her work that's going to get the main feature. A total first.
She passed by the Southeast Asian artworks, mostly paintings. The West Asian part shows pots and ceramics that would bring you to deserts. She stopped at the East Asian part, suddenly missing Korea as photographs welcomed her. The Chinese vases, as well as the Terracotta Warrior replica, amazed her. And when she reached the Japanese part of the exhibit, someone was standing in front of a certain bowl with gold lacquer, 'Kintsukuroi'.
He looked surprised seeing her in a blue dress, looking as if she really dolled up. Her hair is longer now that he's itching to run his fingers on the threads of her silky hair. "Hi." she chirped. "What are you doing here?"
Yuta smiled then realized that they're conversing in his mother tongue. Did she learn Japanese? He showed a brochure of the art exhibit, given to special guests of the gala. The sole reason why he went to Paris is because of an art invitation that depicts Asian arts. He can't really say no to the art director. "I thought you're in Canada." She nodded, surprised that he knew that.
"I started teaching arts in Canada." Teaching? Yuta was surprised, he thought she's still studying. "These are some of my students' work."
"Oh," Yuta exclaimed, in awe. "That's really good." She smiled, rubbing the back of her neck in embarrassment. Her gaze fell on the teacup with gold, Yuta used to compare her to that. A broken porcelain, his broken porcelain. What is he thinking now? "I'm really proud of you." The sincerity in his voice almost made her choke if not for Mark Lee calling her name from across the room.
She asked if he could give her a minute and went to where the younger boy is, asking who she was talking to. His eyes widened in surprise realizing who it is. "Your Japanese guy." She shushed him up, asking what he needed help from. He gestured to his tie and she rolled her eyes, pulling the piece of fabric from his neck. "I'm nervous."
She skillfully made the knot on his tie, patting it when she's done. "Mina will really like you." The older said that made the younger pout, she had to pinch his cheeks at that. Mark told her to get back with Yuta and she giggled at what he meant.
He said with.
But she can't do that. He's already married, Mark knows that.
"You look happier," Yuta noted that made her stop. "Are you dating?"
He moved on from her. He found another love which should have really happened. It will be awkward to know that she's still in love with the idea of them together.
(Y/N) breathed heavily. Mark is definitely going to kill her. "Yes."
"That's great." He said in monotone. She was scared to look at him. Is he hurt? Is he happy? She hoped he is. "I have to go. I'm going to meet my parents outside." His parents are here? "I'll see you around."
He turned around from her but she tapped her foot. There's a question running in her mind for years. A question, she badly wanted to ask him. And if now, when can she have the courage to ask him that? "Yuta." She called which made him turn to her. She sighed a heavy breath that made him curious. "Why didn't you stop me?" He cocked his head to the side at the question. "When I said I'm going to New York, why didn't you stop me?"
Yuta walked to where she is, taking slow steps until he's in front of her. "If I stopped you that time, you wouldn't have the chance to find yourself." A bitter smile can be seen on his lips. His hand held her cheek which comforted her, Yuta's warmth. "I wouldn't be able to make you happy like this."
--
What? Her eyes looked up at his and they're glistening under the lights. Twinkling. "I'm proud of you, my daughter." And even if she wanted to hug him, he just turned around without a word. Walking briskly to leave the hall.
Her heart can't lie now. All this time, it's still Yuta. It's still him.
"Can I not attend?" Yuta begged his dad that made Shiho look at him, pouting. She looked so pretty in that blue dress, the same hue as her dress. "I might just cry inside."
The older man laughed at that, tapping his son's back. "You should have told her that you're still in love with her." But Yuta shook his head, she already moved on. As she should be. She's happier. There's nothing he can do to bring her back to his life.
He breathed heavily as tears fell from his eyes. The sadness all these years bottled up in this emotion. "Dad…" he called as the older man held him in his arms. "I don't want her to see me like this. Can I just stay at the hotel?"
"Son, this is your last chance. You might not see her again after this." He said that made him look at the older. He's right. It's been years since he hoped for this to happen. And here she is, in front of him. "It's your last chance to tell her everything you want to say. I don't want you to regret this." This might really be his last chance to say everything bottled up inside him these past years.
She needed to at least know that he's still holding on for her.
--
The gala was a classy one, filled with wine and classy people from different nationalities. Yuta was just seated at their table as he watched his parents mingle with the other people they knew.
His eyes frantically tried to look for her but she's nowhere in sight. And why did he forget the face of her boyfriend? Maybe he can spot him in the crowd and ask him if he can talk to her like a true man. Some young girls were looking his way but he's not interested. It's still her that he wants.
Some girls were giggling at him. Great! Because it's funny to see a single guy seated next to a young child as if in a kiddie restaurant. He cursed when he realized that Shiho is nowhere in sight again. Where the hell could that child be? And why is he so distracted?
But before he could stand up, he saw her talking to an older girl with the same blue dress like her. He just watched in awe at how they looked so good next to each other. How natural she looked talking to a child.
If only she didn't leave for New York, they might have a child now. A son perhaps. But will she smile like this if she stayed? Will she be happier if she's next to him?
"Shiho, okasan is calling you," Yuta said that made (Y/N) look at him. The younger girl waved her hands to say goodbye to the older and she giggled at how cute she is. The older tried seeing where her mom is but the crowd blocked her view.
A hand appeared in front of her to help her stand up but she refused to hold it, she might get used to his warmth. He's married, for crying out loud. He should be with his family, not here next to her. "(Y/N)," He called.
She had to prevent herself from tearing up at that. He just called her name, why is she getting emotional? Or is it because she's still not done crying about him? He sighed loudly, "I don't know where to begin but I…"
The lights dimmed as the speaker announced the highlight of the exhibit. (Y/N) cursed that made Yuta look at her in worry. Her eyes were full of horror as he stepped closer to check on her. "What's wrong? Are you alright?" Yuta shouldn't see the painting, his wife and child shouldn't. No one should. But it's too late. Why did she have to forget about it?
(Y/N) was called on the stage by the art director and she gave Yuta an apologetic look. She'll just tell everyone that she's done with these feelings so he wouldn't get bothered by it. Yes. She should do that.
The written speech on the podium was discarded as she closed her eyes and breathed heavily. She greeted everyone in English, wishing that everyone had a nice time looking at the artworks that they prepared. She introduced herself as a faculty of the Art School then started the speech about her getting interested in Japanese culture. "Hatsukoi." She said then stared at one guy in the crowd who was looking at her as well. "First Love."
She smiled, remembering all the times she had with Yuta. When she discovered that warm feeling of falling in love. A feeling she wanted to erase or she'll definitely get hurt again. "They said your first love never dies. True, it won't change." She introduced that made the audience smile adoringly. "But it will die, given the time." A collective gasp can be heard. Even the director was surprised at the sudden shift of her voice. She should have introduced the wonder of first love, to make the audience fall in love. They're in Paris, the City of Love.
"The purpose of this artwork is to show the feeling of first love." She looked at her first love, wishing that her last words would resonate to him. "But first loves can also be painful. So this is my goodbye to my first love." She said with a proud smile but in reality, she wanted to badly cry. If she speaks more, they'll surely hear the strain in her voice. A huge lump in her throat that she cannot gulp down. "Sayonara…" The spotlight shone on the artwork, earning everyone's attention, even his. "Yuta." She whispered away from the mic.
When Yuta returned his gaze at the podium, she's nowhere to be seen. Why is she always shaking him like this? A goodbye to her first love? Is this her goodbye to him? "Onii-chan, isn't that you?" Shiho asked, pointing at the splitting canvas of him surrounded by cherry blossom petals. He attracted the nearby attention as the artist's first love, the subject of the painting. They even complimented her for the amazing art style and that she really made an exact copy of his face on the canvas.
Yuta sighed. So this is it, really. She really did mean it when she said 'sayonara' before, it's not possible that she's really doing her 'sayonara' now. His dad was right, he will regret that he didn't take the chance to talk to her.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️
Chapter 23 / Chapter 25
Quick note: (I don’t know what’s happening to my posts but the paragraphs sometimes get jumbled. I edited all the chapters and I’ll check on it later to see if there are still some mistakes. I’m sorry. If you read this, thank you. There’s only one chapter left for Otou-chan and I would really like to know what you think of the story. That will mean so much. Again, thank you for taking time in reading this. Your feedback will be highly appreciated.)
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Hi I was thinking about my disappointment with the Vah Medoh build-up quest being so much less involved than all the other ones and why that is from a story perspective, and then I started thinking about how Revali is the only Champion not to have any kind of actual living legacy, and then I started thinking about resurrected-Champions angst and now I give you this because my dumb ADHD brain goes off on flights of fancy like nobody’s business! I’ve stared at this for so long that I kind of hate it now but that’s OK
___
When Revali first meets Sidon, he wants to throw up.
It’s not the fault of the Zora Prince - he is boisterous, friendly, charming, and only occasionally annoyingly over-the-top. But something about meeting Mipha’s family - her brother - people who see her not as Mipha the Champion but Mipha the sister, the daughter, the friend -
It twists his stomach up into knots. He hates it.
He feels the same way when he sees Daruk and Urbosa again for the first time, and they swap stories about how their peoples had responded to their return. The Gorons had built Daruk a goddamn statue, and the Gerudo chieftain had offered Urbosa her old position back (which she declined). When they turn to him, he looks away and huffs. It hadn’t been until he’d recovered enough to show off his Gale that anyone but the Elder had even believed he was who he said he was.
When he gets back to the village, he spends a day at the Flight Range, hoping for some solace, or at least distraction. No such luck. Someone must have seen him heading off, because the small cabin quickly fills with Rito archers, watching and whispering, sometimes approaching to ask for advice. He answers them all, until it suddenly becomes too much and he abruptly leaves, ignoring the cries split between confusion and awe as he spirals up and away, as far and as fast as he can from the range and the village. He flies all afternoon and deep into the night, tears stinging in his eyes and not just from the speed.
Master Revali, the Rito Champion, an outcast in his own village. Pathetic.
His instincts carry him southeast, over the castle, all the way to Hateno Village. To the house he had shared with Link, before the Calamity. Of course, reminiscing on his past with Link comes with its own deep wells of pain, but...there’s a strange kind of comfort to it, as well. He has just enough forethought not to just barge in through the front door, instead landing unsteadily next to the fire outside and immediately collapsing into a shivering heap.
He wakes up the next morning, scorching hot on one side and covered in mud, to a bemused Link standing in front of him.
“...Hello.”
“Hi.”
“I, um.” He sits up, brushing a clump of dirt from his shoulder. “I didn’t expect to find you here.”
Link raises an eyebrow. “Then why did you come?”
“...Well.”
Before he can even try to come up with something resembling a coherent response, Link is pulling him to his feet and into the house. He follows along, equal parts embarrassed, confused, and relieved. Link pushes him gently into a chair and procures a rag, which he uses to start carefully wiping the mud from Revali’s feathers and clothes.
“...You know, I am perfectly capable of grooming myself.”
Link just shrugs. He doesn’t stop, and Revali doesn’t stop him.
“I assumed you’d be with the Queen,” he says after a few minutes, and Link tosses the rag over his shoulder to respond.
“I resigned,” he signs, and Revali starts a little in surprise. “She doesn’t need a full-time bodyguard, anymore, and...I don’t know. I wanted to finally have some time for myself, I guess.”
“I see.”
“So.” Link takes a step back, looks Revali over, and nods, before pulling up another chair and sitting down across from him. “What’s up?”
He doesn’t want to tell him - doesn’t want Link to know how weak he is - but there’s something about his eyes, blue as the sky and full of gentle concern, and Revali feels something inside of him snap.
“How did you do it?,” he asks, and he despises the shaky, broken voice that it comes out in, but he presses on. “You woke up in a world that had forgotten you and that you didn’t remember, a world where you didn’t have a place anymore, and you did by yourself what an entire kingdom couldn’t. I-” he cuts himself off, feeling the telltale sting of tears behind his eyes. He breathes in, one, two, three times, until the feeling goes away and he trusts himself to talk again.
“How...” He shakes his head desperately. “How could you bear it? How can you bear it? Because I fucking can’t, and-”
His voice actually breaks then, and the tears he had been trying so hard to keep back burst out like water from a breaking dam. Dimly, he registers Link standing up and moving over and pulling him hesitantly into a hug. It’s so achingly familiar, yet so immeasurably distant and wrong because Link doesn’t remember him.
He wants to scream. He wants to scream, or say something cruel, and shove Link aside and walk out the door and fly as far away as he possibly can from everything and everyone he’s ever known. Instead, he just buries his head in the crook of Link’s neck and cries.
After what feels like an eternity, he sits back, and Link pulls away. Revali can see confusion in his eyes, mixed in with the concern and the sadness, and he can feel that familiar twisting in his stomach again.
A quiet “I’m sorry” is the first thing that falls from his mouth, and Link shakes his head vigorously.
“It’s OK-”
“No! It’s not OK, because you don’t fucking remember me and you’re not supposed to have to deal with me like this anymore-”
And then he’s crying again. Goddess, does he hate himself.
Link tries to hug him again, but he shakes him off and retreats into himself, wanting nothing more than to disappear off the face of the earth. It takes him embarrassingly long to pull himself together again, and he doesn’t let himself look back up at Link until he’s certain that he has no more tears left.
Link, Goddess bless him, doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t try to touch Revali again, either, just sits and waits until he’s done.
“I remember this house,” he signs when Revali can look him in the face again, and he frowns at the apparent non sequitur. “I remember this being one of the only places I ever felt like I could relax. And...” He tilts his head. “I remember you being here. A lot.”
A tiny spark of hope alights itself in Revali’s chest. He nods. Link smiles.
“You can stay, if you’d like.”
Revali blinks, initially not sure if he understood. Then the words sink in, and with them a multitude of conflicting feelings. He doesn’t want to burden Link, to be a constant reminder of the past he clearly wants to move beyond. And he doesn’t know if he could take it, either.
But...he wants to try. For the first time since his return, the possibility of rebuilding what he used to have with Link feels like it could be a real one, and he wants to hold onto that as tightly as he possibly can.
So he meets Link’s eyes, spreads his wings, and says, in the most magnanimous tone he can muster, “You make such a generous offer, I may as well take you up on it.”
Link snorts. “You’re a dork, you know.”
Revali puffs up and glares at Link in mock offense. “I’ll have you know that I am the most dignified individual you will ever have the privilege of watching sob in your arms.”
“I think Zelda wins that one, actually.”
The banter continues, over lunch, as he accompanies Link to the general store, as they cook dinner, and as Revali settles into a bedroll near the top of the stairs, he feels the knot in his stomach slowly unravel itself. It feels right.
(After a week, Link offers to share the bed, and that feels right too.)
#breath of the wild#revali#link#revali x link#revalink#sidon#mipha#urbosa#daruk#this is not my best work but like#i need to put it out into the world and stop thinking about it lmao#also my whole damn blog is themed after revali#it's about time i upload a revali-centric fic#my writing
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okay some mp100 rant over here lets go
this came from reading too many fics depicting the kageyama’s parents as awful or abusive or “hey i headcanoned the kageyama’s parents as nice people UwU!” <-- someone really wrote this btw i just read that comment on ao3 which makes me unreasonably mad lmao because why tf is this a headcanon when it’s already true?
anyway the whole seeing everything as only bad vs only good just contradicted with what ONE want to emphasize in mp100
now i’m not saying that the kageyamas are bad because they aren’t? its just if you see them as neglectful, it could be true, considering how every culture has different values and habits that are totally different with each country
but to say that they are abusive for scolding shigeo for twisting his spoon or letting him sleep on the floor is just so wrong. that’s a total reach. have you ever thought that maybe shigeo’s having a hard time controlling his power made them got to conclusion that their son needs safer bed? safer bedroom? safer environment so he won’t hurt himself? have you ever thought that shigeo himself asked for a futon? he’s not sleeping bare in the fucking floor IT’S A FUTON. it’s comfy and it’s a BED
stop thinking that bed = good parents, futon = evil parents because that’s not how the world fucking works. next time people will see/read asian character eating rice with their hands while their siblings eat with spoon and go bat shit..
and idk about your parents but telling your kid to stop breaking things without shouting it to their face is not. abuse. it’s not. it’s normal
the kageyamas are loving parents who tried their very best providing basic needs for their super powered kids. they’ve never hated shigeo in their whole fucking life. they love him. he’s their kid. they supported him. took pictures, cheered him on, made special dinner even though they know shigeo won’t finish the race, etcera etcetera
have you maybe, idk thought and watched about how extremely stressed and upset shigeo was when he found his parents (fake) burned, dead bodies??
there is like zero indication or subtle sign whatever from ONE that they’re emotionally abusing shigeo like idk how people come to that conclusion so wtf are y’all talking about!!!
ONE doesnt follow the same boring shonen narrative where the mc needs dead or awful parents to grow and better themselves. mp100 is about normal people learning to be independent and take responsibility @ their actions and life. thats basically it
the kageyamas are NOT the villain stop throwing them in a bad light you focused on the wrong thing because you can’t write reigen as shigeo’s perfect dadTM or because you think shigeo’s life isn’t hard enough when he feels different than the other kids
tldr:
writing reigen as shigeo’s perfect father figure while completely disregarding what his parents mean to shigeo and what reigen actually DID isnt the hot woke shit like you think it is
now i have a feeling that people who write sleeping on the bed as the only sign of good parenting is the same people who write japanese anime characters who live in japan not taking their shoes off before going inside their houses
last time i checked spice city is still located in fictional japan
as a disclaimer what i want to say is that im not white this is coming from southeast asian who lived in southeast asia so if you’re asian feel free to correct me. if you’re white... just smile and wave
idk, grow some critical thinking skill i guess
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Tagged by @writingstellar! Good to hear how life’s going and holy crap I was just thinking about how it’s coming up 10 years since we met.
Rules: answer 30 questions and tag blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.
name/nickname: Haddock. King. Against my will, every other variation of fish-like things you can think of. King Fishy, Fishy, Fishface, Fishyface, Fish, etc.
gender: enby
star sign: 🖕
height: 5′ 2″
time: 12:27 AM
birthday: October 19
favourite bands: Flatt & Scruggs and the Foggy Mountain Boys, The Dead South, Old Man Markley
favourite solo artists: uhhhhhhhhmmmmmmm... get back to me on that. Can... can Beethoven count? C’mon I fucking have Beethoven music TATTOOED ON ME, we gonna make Beethoven count.
song stuck in my head: a combination of like six Flatt & Scruggs songs and covers rn, most prominently Colors. I have no idea why. I don’t listen to their late 1960s stuff as often, but I woke up and that song came to me with tenacity and wouldn’t let go.
last movie: What was the last movie I watched in my Bad Movie Night group? Was it Leo the Lion????? Oh gosh. That nightmare is the last movie I saw??? Dudes holy shit that movie was a special kind of awful, it was a horrible experience and it’s scarred me forever and [spoilers] why did you make the elephant canonically fuck the emaciated lion?!?!?!
last show: Flatt & Scruggs TV Show. Shut up. I like them. A lot. Hyperfixation gonna hyperfixate. And they’re actually really wonderful and personable to watch, in addition to making great music.
when did you create this blog? summer 2014
what do I post: on this blog? Well, it used to be an analysis blog for HTTYD and more. Now... whatever, but usually fandom-related materials for my favorite shows... Gravity Falls, Fullmetal Alchemist, etc.
last thing i googled: middle finger. to get that middle finger emote up there.
do i get asks? absolutely. sorry that I no longer respond to everything as I once did. I no longer have the time and presence of mind to get to all asks, and it’s no longer a priority in my life or major past-time. but I read all of them and appreciate all of them and really do try to answer peeps when I’m on here and in the mood! Thanks for talking with me so much!
why i chose my url: As a How to Train Your Dragon blog, I thought it would be the COOLEST thing to pick Hiccup’s title. I was in excited shock it wasn’t taken.
average hours of sleep: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I’m sleeping a fuckton lately, like sometimes 10, but that’s not normal to me.
lucky number: 13, 19, 320.
Instruments: Yes. I have an entire sideblog dedicated to my banjo explorations and bluegrass/country music obsession, to rant and rave to like the 0.1 person who’ll see it. ;) Feel free to check it out... I try to make it accessible to like, anyone, even peeps with none music background left beef. Banjo is my latest instrument and I’m proud of how far I’ve come in less than a year and a half. Started on piano as a wee one, got good at it. Added flute and piccolo, got good at it, played semi-competitively at local/state events in high school. Added clarinet. Added viola and played that in college orchestra because it was the one thing I could get INTO orchestra on because they didn’t audition on it. Also own/play to varying degrees of skill or incompetence: pennywhistles, soprano recorder, khloy (Cambodian flute), khene (Southeast Asian pipe instrument), tro (Cambodian spiked fiddle), tro ou (Cambodian spiked fiddle), dizi (Chinese flute), shakuhachi, ukulele, guitar, fiddle, Irish flute, harmonica, didgeridoo, shit why do I feel like I’m forgetting some things. Uhhhhhh... in college I played some taiko, shamisen, and shinobue too? I dunno, just chuck a woodwind or a string instrument at me, and I’ll figure something out. Won’t necessarily be pleasant but there’ll be notes.
what i’m wearing: red pajamas. They have snowflakes on them. they are warm and comfy.
dream job: I know it’s hard work as hell, believe me, my fam’s been in it, but seriously? transitioning to agricultural work. I’m an old-fashioned ass at heart and, as much as my work has serious perks with a flexible schedule, I hate how much of my life is spent on a screen. I’m happiest working with my hands, and I’ve got a green thumb.
dream trip: Dammit, I have to pick ONE place??? fuck that shit, I want to go everywhere, I have bucket list countries in every continent. shit. uh. how about Norway because that’s the home of my ancestors.
last book i read: I’m currently reading three right now. the last one I finished is an obscure Country Music history picture book from the 1960s. Oh hey wow did the bluegrass hyperfixation appear again? WOW YOU BETCHA IT DID. Uff-dah.
favourite food: I’m going to just say a fucking cuisine rather than narrow it down to one dish. Thai food.
nationality: United States American.
favourite song: Foggy Mountain Breakdown. Yes. Flatt & Scruggs came up again. Get used to it. I have fucking had Flatt & Scruggs appear multiple times in my dreams. I have fucking had Flatt & Scruggs more in my dreams than some of my irl friends.
top three fictional universes: Mass Effect, Fullmetal Alchemist, Gravity Falls
gonna gently tag (no pressure!):
Okay I am sleep loopy so I cannot think of names rn but I might reblog and tag later with peeps because I always like poking friends.
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The Promised Neverland S2EP1
aka: when you scream into the void and it finally answers back, because AAAHHH IT’S HERE! IT’S ALL HAPPENING!! HELL YES!
Here I am, trying my best to breathe normally, and the kids are having just as much trouble doing the same as they run for their lives.. this is wonderful.
“It’s fine! Think of it as a game of tag!” Oh my sweet daughter, I waited so long to hear your voice again.
But wow we’re starting with a wild demon chase right off the bat? No Isabella scene?.. should I be concerned?
OP I waited so anxiously for you, please blow me away.
How they used the flowers and vida to represent the human and demon bodies respectively was real nice.
Ohhh and they used that scene from the “Zettai Zetsumei” ending too!
Wow, they aren’t holding back the idea of children being food huh.
They even teased Norman with a fully bloomed vida flower.. how cruel.
Leslie and Conny aww.
Mujika, Phil and Isabella with her hair down aahh yesss!
Peter? Hello?? Don’t you show up much later?
Emmaaaa!! And her hair is braided already?
Ahh it is! She has the hairclips! She doesn’t get those until she meets Sandy at Goldy Pond though.. Cloverworks, please. you better not be getting my hopes up for nothing, I swear.
I’m surprised to see all the escapees wearing the shelter jackets though. The.. SHELTER! JACKETS! Bunker dad incoming!
Fucking hell girl, why must you be so beautiful??
And my boy Ray!! Yeess!
They left that large space beside Emma as a reminder that Norman is no longer around anymore huh.. ow my heart.
I vibe with “Identity” so much.. I love it. The sequence was beautiful. You’re winning me over so far Cloverworks.
Now that I finally moved on from watching the OP several times.. hello children! And vida flowers..
Haahaha the way Lanni just falls like that from the tree.. I’m dying.
Aw Emma sweetheart, you’re already pushing yourself too much.
Okay, Ray didn’t bonk her on the head with the water but the reaction she gave along with her facial expression was great, so I’ll let that change slide.
Also, my son!! I missed you so much!
“Sorry, Emma.” Bro, his voice was so soft when saying that!
“As long as you’re alive and smiling, that’s all I need.” aaah.. AND HIS FUCKING SMILE AFTER SHE SAYS THAT! OH MY GOD!
“Emma.. I’ll live. I’ll live and protect this family. Everyone in this family, just like you. This time, for sure, I swear. No matter what happens, I’ll never abandon them again.” They really had him say it all. The entire thing.. yeeesss! Character development at its finest btw!
“So don’t bear this burden alone.” *glances at ch180*
It’s been a half hour since I started this episode and yet I’m only 5 minutes in.. help.
“Southeast?” “Between south and east.” “Gilda, I know that much.” I love this little addition between them so much.
They also included Don and Gilda into this scene with the pen.
And the pen actually has a map now? It was Ray who figured out how the number/letter sequence worked in the manga in terms of location but here Emma just touched the screen and a map appeared.. hmm, I’m conflicted.
The younger kids are watching all this now too.
“I miss Norman.” Aww Alicia.. and everyone else is adorable too.
Ahh the new soundtracks hit different.
They really are including the other kids into the story more.. for a while it was usually just Emma & Ray figuring stuff out.
“And we’ll find more allies, then go back for Phil and the others!” *deep sigh*
Honey, I’m begging you, please take a moment to relax!
Hey there demons.
No wonder they get chased so soon, they have their lanterns lit at night making them such easy targets.
Ah, so this is the scene where that screenshot of Ray & Emma came from.
Oh yeah, y’all better fucking run.
Cgi demon looks odd, but then again demons aren’t supposed to look normal regardless, so it’s okay.
They changed how they introduced the snakes of alvapinera huh.
Hold up, we’re already on ch42? Right now? Okay wow..
��Who’s the better one at tag?” “You are.” Aaaaha.
Aw man, I thought Ray was finally going to start a fire once he threw that lantern and having it break.
Ah, and that’s where the blood splatter from the preview came from, the GF demon slaying the wild one.
“The others are already dead.” Look at his smug face! I LOVE HIM!
Aww Jemima is worried about our boy.
Rossi, you’re such a sweet child.
I’m sorta glad they didn’t show her completely passing out, but EMMA!!
Oh sweet lord, Mujika! We’re meeting you already??
They did a great job making this scene have an eerie feel though.
Aw, the scarf!
Goddamn, they made Ray look so out of breath and winded.. nice!
Okay, but the way he fell though.. sorta prefer how determined he was to try and take another step despite him struggling to do so in the manga rather than having him just.. fall over like that.
But Sonju coming in clutch!
Are we for real already at ch45 and gonna get the Rayemma hug? oh my god.
They’re gonna end the episode with Ray questioning our demons friends, aren’t they..
My poor boy is spooked.
LOOK HOW RELIEVED HE IS WHEN SHE FINALLY WAKES UP!
THE DAMN HUG! IT HAPPENED! SOMEONE HOLD ME I FEEL SO SOFT RIGHT NOW!
But why no head pat though hmm?
I’m surprised they actually remembered the bell.
He held out his arm out to shield her.. aww.
This music.. sounds good. Anndd it just got better.
Yup, figures they would end the episode there.
Okay ending song, make me emotional.
Oh? We’re seeing more of the outside world alongside Sonju & Mujika?
Wow, and hello to all the kids being shipped out.
And some quick glimpses of the sisters and mothers too.
I really like the art style they have going on here.
Interesting.. also, no Isabella scene? At all? Oh no..
And I just realized they completely left out the entire snakes of alvapinera scene.. hm.
But yeah, this is going way quicker than I originally thought.. I don’t want to get my hopes up in case GP doesn’t happen, but at this pace, hey, who knows.
I can’t believe I got three of my favorite demon forest scenes in the first episode.. fucking wild dude.
Now I can relax.. by finally diving into the tags and consuming every bit of good food available! Finally aboard the hype train!
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4 Something
warnings- language, threats of death, violence
word count- ~2k
a/n- I don’t have my computer so I can’t put a keep reading, and it took me a bit to make sure this part was <3 perfecto so :,) Pain. also I HATED WRITING THIS SOB YOU’LL SEE AHHH
With a stir, and a dry groan from your mouth, you opened your eyes to find your arms still, holding your belt by buckle as the rest of the accessory bounded you. Now this was just an insult.
Yet, your nose twitched in anger as you widened your eyes. Gogo. He and Chenle, they both had betrayed you. And Victory, you cringed at the thought of how Victory had looked before you saw darkness.
You blinked a few times. You need to get out. You need something to get out and to save Johnny, and everyone else. To not be a dick, and get help from the Ripple.
The room around strangely smelled like raspberry tea. The top half of the walls were a dark oak wood traced and had clouds decorated in, with the sun shaped chandelier placed on the ceiling, even though you could barely see it from its dim light. You noted the red, or dark pink wallpaper that was supposed to be covering the rest of the wall, but from its decay, it turned into a mold green. You had a feeling it was perhaps just the design, and not age.
It was, both intriguing and relaxing to feel at the moment. You heard a pair of muffled voices mumble next to the door, behind and to the right of you.
In front of you, as you finally eye, was a rustic coffee table scattered with small treats, a delicate cup filled with red raspberry tea, and a letter. It read, in Korean characters, “Patience is key, he will fly in a few moments.”
You frowned. Baise was a very diverse city, an island that people would pass by on their maps. You remembered seeing it on a map before. It was between Korea, Japan, and China. A bit below Korea, to the bottom left of Japan and the neighbor to its big brother, China. Meaning nearly every person in Baise knew and could read at least more than one language. You even took your fun with Thai when you talked to Jewel.
Korean was something only- you inspected it closer by leaning in. It was only used by the Pound. In mafia terms of the Powder City, to converse you must strictly use one singular language because of the Drug War.
You remembered how awkward it was to talk to Flavour. His Chinese sucked. That was why Chenle was your spy. He was a boy from China, a son that funded and partly owned the Dream Gems.
Hopefully The Ripple should be getting here, you and Johnny, as well as Victory were high assets. They wouldn’t just leave you.
You sighed and hung your head, before leaning up to scratch your head. You gasped, and took the belt. You rolled your eyes from how tired you were, lazy enough to not even focus how detained you were.
There was a crackly sound, a cough, a voice which said an, “U-uh, oh, uh, uhm—,” with fading static in between the stuttering.
You finally leaned in to inspect the tea, scowling if it bubbled. Although it did smell like sweet honey, with pure cane sugar mixed in with its now wet leaves.
“I,” you heard a deep voice, almost growl into the speakers. It was menacing, and it echoed in the room. You sipped your tea out of excitement. “Am Eos. Boss of the Pound.”
Your eyes lit up at the taste of the drink, before gulping the rest down. It had a nostalgic feeling behind it. You swayed to the warmth that filled your body, and how it made you feel like you were running along the alleyways again with Johnny, feeing like you could fly up in the clouds.
“I am Psy,” you replied. Your mouth was now prepared to talk, and you took a crumpet. You inspected it before biting, “A worker.”
“For the Ripple?” The man said with a hiss.
“For myself. And my partner. Release him and I, along with some of the money, and perhaps I won’t try and find you and kill you,” you leaned back into the moss green sofa. The furniture had perfectly blended into the wall, and you smirked by biting some more into the snack with a crunch.
There was a chuckle, and it electrified the energy around you. “Oh; Psy, is it? I let you have this much freedom. Do not try anything too rash.”
“Well, I do want to get out.”
The mic went silent for some time. You looked around the room, making sure not to be too observant to the natural eye. You noted the walls below the wood were thin as paper, revealing brick. Perhaps you were in an old apartment building on the Southeast side?
“What can you do, Psy?”
“Hop over on drug trades, lie like I’m pretty, murder- oh disguises, I dunno, what do you want?”
Another moment. There was a door to your right, where you had heard the voices. It was painted and a thin wood. If you were to get up and kick it now, it would shatter.
“There will be a man to pick you up. He shall explain everything. Salutations, Psy.”
You looked up at the singular woofer diagonal from you. You salute it with a slight breeze to it, “Yep, pleasure meeting you Eos.”
As expected, when you finished a miniature cucumber sandwich, a short but stone faced man came in. “Hello, my name is Selen.”
“Psy,” you said as you got up, snapping your belt around your waist and you crossed your arms. “Any announcements?”
The man took a look at you before he gestured for you to follow with a ‘come hither,’ of his first two fingers. You rolled your eyes, but followed him out of the gothic room, to a moist and ugly stone hallway.
“We are the Pound. Eos is not a man who prefers to show his face, so I shall speak on his behalf. We are one of the most influential mafias in Baise, because of our spies.”
You stopped walking, overwhelmed by his extremely fake deep mafia voice, and the smell of everything you would witness in a sewer, “Spies?”
“Do I need to explain it to you lightly?” Selen asked, continuing to walk after a moment. You followed, “I am not going to be your little spy. I worked years for the Ripple. I would never betray them.”
“Flavour told us you need money.”
You gripped your belt. “W-What about it?”
“Ever wonder,” Selen opened the only door, and you widened your eyes, “How Johnny always had the money from those little robberies he made?”
You gasped as you saw a huge ballroom, and the nearly dozen of people you saw occupy it. Despite its space the people almost seemed to fill the room with their energy.
Every black tile on the floor lit up as you saw a young man run past you on your left side, at an astonishing speed, before grabbing a bow and sliding across diagonally, and shooting at a man covered in armor, hitting him in the head with ease.
Every old, and no doubt expensive, picture across the other man training, threw knives at another man on the right as he ran down and dodged, before getting out a shot gun and blowing it at the picture’s faces, not even looking.
You gazed in awe at the training facility. Not only did it have a classy energy, but it trained others to the max of their abilities. At the Ripple, you would probably fight Sushi until you both ended up in a tickle fight.
This, this was something else. Victory, Chenle, and Osaka were lined up near the entrance you had meet entered, waiting for their turn. You couldn’t breathe. Another man had begun to give them weapons, instructing them to shoot.
“Johnny has worked with us since he was 18. He said, specifically, he had no partner. Believe our eyes when Coral radioed in he had lied the entire time.” Selen chuckled a bit to himself, “Well, really, it was Gogo.”
You eyed up to the grand staircase which was above the black and white tile floors you occupied. The dark haired man who laughed pushed Johnny in a wheelchair, both seemingly fine. You pushed Selen out of the way, and made your way across, easily avoiding the traps.
The traps, so to speak, were more knives thrown at you, and you whipped out your belt around you, which caught them all in its swirl. When you snapped the belt into a club, the daggers fell out, bouncing as you glared at the man ahead.
Even as an arrow shot at you, you had turned and knocked it out of your vision like it was a simple baseball.
Gogo.
That was the name that seemed to repeat in your mind once you came out of your unconscious spell.
You had made yourself safe upon the stairs, you glared Gogo as you bludgeoned him, with all your force in the face with your truncheon. Everyone watched the man get knocked into the wall, and he groaned loudly as if it were his last breath. The people around you froze and stared.
“YOU ASSHOLE! YOU COMPLETE DICK!” You grabbed the man’s shoulders, intending to crush him as if he were a bug, before you felt a gentle touch.
“Y/n. He saved my life.”
“HE RATTED US OUT!” You turned to Johnny.
But his eyes were soft. They melted you. And that’s all that mattered. That he was truly still okay. He held your face and smiled. “Y/n,”
You embraced Johnny, and hid in his shoulder, grabbing him as if he were that teenager hiding from the cops again. He smelled the same as always. Warm, like opening a fresh cup of coffee, and sniffing the pure caffeine and vanilla mixture, with just a- a touch. That Touch of Cinnamon. You teared up. You couldn’t believe it. This was the closest you had ever lost Johnny. And it was because of the one man you had trusted.
“Y-Y/n,” Gogo spat out some blood as you raised your club, glaring at him. “Don’t you fucking come—,”
You felt a soft touch on your shoulder, and it was rubbed in.
Johnny caressed your face and smiled. “Don’t. He’s a kid.”
You looked back at Gogo looking at you. Now he didn’t look as the spy you hated.
He was Mark. He still had those same big sunflower seed like eyes, and he was so tiny. He was the same boy who giggled at Johnny telling jokes half awake. He was still a kid.
You tucked away your club back into a belt and embraced Johnny closer.
The man picked you up with ease, wincing quietly but he sat you on his lap. “Y/n, can you forgive me for ever lying?”
You paused, inhaling his scent as you felt yourself tear up. “Is that what all of those grocery runs were?” You asked quietly. Now, the young man named Mark Johnny had left, to go talk to Osaka below.
“Yes, yes they were.”
You wiped your tears and giggled quietly, “No wonder you always forget something stupid, like bread.”
“That was one time!” Johnny yelled.
“No it wasn’t!” You laughed more, and poked him. You both held each other close.
Gogo then touched your arm, and you whipped out your belt and stared at him with a faux, huge smile. “Hi, Mark.”
He blinked. “H-Hello- B-Boss, uh,” Johnny held you closer, and you narrowed your eyes, “Spit it out, traitor.”
“Eos saw you. H-He said,” he clicked something in his ear, and nodded quietly, “He wants to meet you.”
Johnny held you. “No. No- we agreed.”
“Boss said you can- er, r-roll them there.”
Johnny scowled at Gogo. He lifted you off, hissing as he got up. “I-I’ll walk.”
The two of you made your way from the door Johnny had entered, to another dim, gross hallway like the one Selen and you had to go through.
You were more surprised at the architecture of this building than the spies.
“Did you know Osaka?”
“No, I only truly knew Ma- Mark.” You carried the tall man in your arms, as he stumbled. “He and I got in at the same time. I taught him everything I knew, but, I guess I’m still not a good of a hyung than I thought I was.”
“No, he’s just a bonehead.” You aided Johnny. “Besides, I’m pretty sure if I can take Gogo, well, Flavour—,”
“Jaemin is just a kid.”
You frowned. You, of course still trusted Johnny. He did this for you. You just, it felt weird seeing him so casual to the people who, was supposed to be your enemy. You sighed quietly and gently looked up, “Do you—?”
“Yeah, my portrait isn’t watery, it’s going to be,” he grunted quietly, “kinda like, uh, like w-watery snow. I’m sorry- Give me some time?”
You smiled. Once you and Johnny had left the South side, you guys didn’t know how to get caught by mafias, or even the cops. You spoke in code. Each first letter of a word he spoke meant something.
P
I
W
W
S
Everything else that he said, due to his tone, how he sounded more casual, and knowing his voice so well you could impersonate him- you knew he meant.
Plan
Is
Working
Meaning the second part of his sentence was; It’s going to be,
Working
Soon
You sighed, “You better make that fuckin’ portrait snow.”
“It needs to be watery at least.” He said, a little distastefully.
“Fine, do that then.”
“I will.” He said forcefully, but he softly kissed you on the head.
He stopped, and he held you by your arms, and you now turned to face him.
You’ve seen Johnny scared all too many times. He couldn’t sleep for two weeks after he first killed a man. He once started to leave to be running at a beach since he had to check in on an elderly woman’s house, since her bottom floor was soon to be raised. He went into a rage when he realized his parents had moved, and left him a note saying they will be waiting back in Korea for him.
“I-I,”
You softly leaned in and kissed the side of his lips. You’ve done it a hundred times. This time, you meant it as, you will be back. “I love you too, John.”
You opened the door behind you, and you stepped in backwards, watching his presence crumble. His eyes stopped melting, and instead he looked like he was frozen as the door closed. He looked as if he had lost you, again.
The moment you walked in, your nose scrunched up. The stench of fresh flowers had grabbed your sinuses like it was in a chokehold. The room was dim but lit by a faux gold chandelier, with tiny pink wax candles, and the room, from top to bottom, was lined with flowers.
Pressed, fresh, old, molding, you stared at the maker of the scent, and the man himself.
Eos’ hair was softly curled and from his white roots, it was coloured as the dawn, as he looked through his stained glass windows. His entire body, besides his eccentric hair, was hidden by an enormous leather desk chair. His back was turned to you to gaze upon the windows. You wondered how he can even see you.
Psy, isn’t it?” His voice was more natural, but had that tone. That commanding tone of power.
“Yes.” You glanced at your belt and how it was loosely buckled.
“Come another half meter, if you can.” He said naturally.
You almost went forward, before stopping. You crossed your arms. “Tell me why.”
“I beg your pardon, little one?” He uttered, as if you told him something preposterous.
“Are you going to kill me?”
The man laughed, and unlike his voice, it was silent, and came out only in exhales, until it started to turn into a fit of giggles as he showed his hands. Long. Veiny. They grabbed something out of the air until they disappeared behind the chair.
“It is forbidden at the Pound for any spy, especially one of your standard, to see my face. Anyone who does, shall die.”
You rose an eyebrow and you sighed. “Really now?”
You’ve taken down at least six, eight if you count the small drug circles, of organizations in the city. You can name all types of mafia leaders. This one, based just off of the minute you’ve spent in his, it would be kind to be called an office, he was definitely one for the dramatics. One might even say he had a complex of which he was a God.
“Yes, now, just,” his hands were outreaches, and they grabbed a shard of glass. His nimble fingers moved it through his hand, as if he had done it hundreds of times. But, you swore you saw a glimpse of his- “One more step, little one.” He let go of the glass. Please.”
You scoffed quietly, but you did so, and bowed.
There was so much silence you started to tap your belt out of panic. It hasn’t even been 10 seconds. But you felt as if he was ogling you. Eyeing you. Undressing you.
“You’re perfect.”
“I’ll kill you.” You hissed. Definitely a man with a God complex. You wanted to choke him with your belt now.
“Hm-? Oh, forgive me, Psy,” he started to tap something, whether it was his chin, or his shoe, it echoed in your head. “I was thinking. I was going to kill you.”
“Thanks, Eos.”
“Heh, well, I was. Emphasis, Psy, emphasis is something never talked about. I bet you Mr. Money would give you a lecture on something anything but that, no?”
You uncrossed your arms. “What—?”
“Victory has been a spy of mine since the Ripple started. But he’s only a low rank in that stupid little West side shit of his. But you, no no no, you and John built something there. In that little club. And I need you to bomb it out.”
Your mouth was beginning to ache from how many times you started to sigh and scoff at the man, “Do you really think—?”
“I am a man of my word, yes I was going to, but I couldn’t really kill you. Johnny and I made a promise to each other. For you and he to leave Baise happily.” Eos’ hand showed, and it drooped in a laze, as if it was a sort of wish he never wanted to keep. “I will give you a yacht, servants, food, water, a boat out of the island if you take down the Ripple. And you’ll never have to see me, or anyone in a mafia again.”
His hand disappeared, and you heard in his leather chair, he moved, almost as if he was facing you, that his body language was possibly showing he was extremely happy. Or an extreme liar.
“Do we have a deal, Psy?”
You frowned. The Ripple. Your family. People you’ve seen at their worst. They have seen your flaws. They are your only means of happiness and purpose here.
“If I refuse?” You muttered, your arms slowly began to hide yourself. It covered you more than just cross over your chest. Your throat closed up, and you felt like shaking as Eos smiled through his words.
“If you refuse to obey me, Psy, removing Johnny permanently from your life shall be your only consequence.” The sound of adjustment, and he tapped something again. That fucking echo.
He knew he won.
#kwritersworldnet#ultkpopnetwork#nctnetwrite#kpop imagines#kpop fan fiction#nct#fanfiction#kpop#nct fanfiction#nct 127#nct 127 angst#dee writes#4 Something
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quarantine fic rec in honor of 1daaw
hi, friends!
it’s been so long since i actually sat down and read fic and what better time to catch up on all of these wonderful writings than when we’re all stuck at home. over the past few weeks i’ve been slowly compiling this list, and while i haven’t even made a dent in my to-reads, i decided to post what i have so far in honor of 1daaw. as i read more over the next few weeks since we’ll still be stuck at home, i will try to compile more fic rec lists as i feel like this is a great way to show some love to my favorite stories and authors. i haven’t had a chance to reach out to all these amazing writers to tell them how much i love these stories, so if you’re on here, take this as my official love letter to you. 🥰
niall fics:
and they’ll hang us in the louvre by @in-madhouses
there is SO MUCH about this fic that i absolutely fell in love with. the enemies to lovers trope, the characters, the plot, and the absolutely fantastic writing are all to die for. basically, niall and his friends (aka some of the 1d boys) are actors on a television adaptation of the marauders (so already i’m like !!!!!!) and aahna is a recurring guest star on the show. the two of them just grate at each others’ nerves the whole time they have to shoot together and it’s all quick-witted banter and heated moments and exquisite characterization. aahna is unapologetically herself, not afraid to tell it like it is (the rant about the neocolonialism of southeast asian cuisine in the prologue was the best thing ever) and she’s definitely up there as one of my favorite OFCs of all time.
this story is witty and fun and a perfect light-hearted read. inm is such a gorgeous writer and some of the lines in this story read like poetry. i literally found myself stopping on multiple occasions and going wow. honestly, what a treat. inm also has a self-isolation drabble series that i’ve been meaning to get into and i can’t wait to start reading that as well.
but oh, my heart still burns by @houseofbrokenhearts
as i started to read this story, i had the biggest smile on my face. it begins with shane and niall as young, inseparable best friends and continues on into their adulthood in which things get complicated, as they always do in these scenarios. it’s nostalgic and innocent and sort of whimsical. i laughed at the part where shane is upset at not getting a cell phone when niall does because it reminded me of being a kid in a similar situation. also the scenes where they reunite after years of being apart? impeccable.
this story has beautiful writing. i felt as though i could feel every emotion as shane was feeling them, and once i started i just couldn’t put this down. it has not been updated in a while which, as a writer who has also left her fics only to update months or years later, i understand that life gets in the way or we may lose motivation or whatever. but, whatever the future holds for this story, i just want to put it out there that i so so so adore it, and niall and shane are one of those fic pairings that i will possibly never stop thinking about.
why did we climb and fall so far by @niallismymuse
first of all, holy shit. when i finished reading this i literally sobbed my eyes out and then laid in bed staring at the ceiling for an hour. this fic is only four chapters and it made me feel so many things. at points, i was looking at my screen with heart eyes because niall and ellie are so in love and then i was laughing because their banter is the cutest and then all of a sudden i’m getting my fucking heart broken.
second, i think it’s a testament to how wonderful a writer shelly is to be able to elicit these emotions so powerfully, taking us all on a rollercoaster of intense feelings. the prose on this is just phenomenal and there were lines that absolutely took my breath away. i am so picky with what i read sometimes because fiction has this ability to take you places you may not be prepared to go (definitely a trigger warning on this for heavy themes), but i am so happy i found this because it was such beautiful writing. i can’t even begin to imagine the energy and emotional willpower it must have taken to write this, so to shelly, thank you for sharing your words with us. this story is definitely one i won’t be forgetting anytime soon, and i can’t wait to dive into the rest of your stories.
harry fics:
matchmaking for experts by @booksncoffee
eriza is one of the most prolific writers of the 1dff community and her consistency and drive is something i enormously admire. this story is just one of many really fantastic ones from her and i urge everyone to go check out her masterlist--you won’t be disappointed.
but anyway, back to matchmaking for experts--it’s only one chapter in and i am already hooked. there is so much to unpack in just one installment: harry’s apparent tense relationship with his father, the colorful workplace environment of the matchmaking service, the slight mutual pining between maia and harry that i anticipate will only grow as this story goes on and i am hype for it. i’m right there with the rest of the matchcierge staff in lowkey giving maia and harry’s relationship the side eye and rooting for them. all in all, it’s a fantastic beginning. eriza, you are so talented, and i can’t wait to see where this story goes.
rumor has it by @stylishmuser
first off, p is wonderful and brilliant and she deserves all the praise in the world. this story is the perfect collision of my two favorite worlds (bollywood and 1d) and i absolutely adore it so far. i don’t even think i have enough words to describe how much i love this story and its characters. literally, if ishika were a real person i’d want to protect her with my whole life. her characterization and history are crafted so so well; she’s vulnerable and strong and determined. i can’t wait to watch how she grows throughout this story.
also, there are moments that literally have me staring at my screen with the biggest heart eyes: ishika making harry taste pani puri, harry being so soft and gentle with her at the beach and at her fitting, the pining. i am literally so in love. p also writes this story with such care and precision that it shows. it is so intricately crafted with so many layers and is just such a pleasure to read. she also updates so often that i am in awe of her drive. i have to dive into the rest of her stories, which i know are absolutely amazing even if i haven’t read them yet, and i’m looking forward to that as well. p, what a beautiful story. i can’t wait to see where it goes.
--
i know there are so many more fics that i need to read and i’m always taking recs in my inbox. until then, happy reading, and don’t forget to send some love to these authors when you’re done!
#sorry if this is long#i was going to put it under a read more but i want people to see these stories!!!#1daaw#recs
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thank you for speak out! im a Taiwanese, and it's so frustrating almost no one here talking about how China treats HK, Uyghur, Tibetan and also Taiwan. Mostly i only saw ppl in the west defending China just bc they are anti-America (like they don't know how to separate these two sometimes) China recently even decided to build dam on upstream of Mekong river, threatening the livelihoods of citizens in Southeast, but hardly any western media even cover the issue, which is sad and unbelievable
To be fair, it's easier for me since I'm not a fan of either. I'm sorry for the shit going on there, I know the situation with Taiwan is awful too and doesn't feel like anybody is helping. The issue is obviously money, the governments in the West ignore the situation or minimise it so the media doesn't report on it and it just goes around in circles. If the media reported fully on the horrors going on over there and got it out to the people there would most likely be more pressure on the government's to act but that's not happening and right now with corona on everyone's mind China has the perfect distraction. It should be said it is difficult for the media to get access to controversial stories in China, I remember that video of that BBC reporter who tried to interview an independent candidate in an election and he was chased away by a mob.
The UK has a responsibility to Hong Kong and the strongly worded letters aren't enough but at the same time we're about to enter a recession and tensions between China is not something the UK can afford right now. This here is the issue with everything in the end, this is why concentration camps are being allowed to happen, because governments are worried about the economic repercussions of taking a stand. It's fucked and awful that countries have been allowed to have so much power.
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Skam had been my safe place since 2015, so are the remakes, something about the remakes makes me feel like I’m connected to a whole different group of youth around the world, i’m from southeast asia and it’s really comforting to see that skam has a season for a woman with faith, something that fsr seem so foreign to other people that’s why when some fcked up decisions like this happens, it just hurts me, it’s like using us pocs so they could say that the show is diverse and I’m honestly tired...
Oh me too, anon, me too :-( I love Skam, I watched seasons from almost all the remakes and when it’s good it’s just so damn good. I love Sana and even though I’m not a hajibi, I connect with her (and Yousef!) for many reasons. And yeah, it hurts when skam fucks around with her and other poc....I don’t think a lot of ppl understood why it was so painful when for example Druck shortened Amira’s season. Or when Isak told Sana that she was a bitch and that it was her job to educate white people. Or when Skamfr made Imane suffer so much and made her beg her white friends for their friendship....seeing that shit hurts. And now with wtfock, seeing what they did today and what’s likely to happen during the rest of the season is awful :-(
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Yellowface is Alive and Well in Steven Universe
Ok, so I know this post is going to get a lot of hate, but
Steven Universe treats its POC horribly. Today Is I’ll be talking about the racism towards Asians and Asian-coded characters in the show since I have personal experience with that.
Definitions and Terms:
A quick overview of Yellowface: Yellowface consists of very narrow eyes, buck teeth or tooth gaps, and very yellow skin. This was used as justification to keep Chinese people out of the US using Chinese Exclusion Acts during the 19th century after Chinese immigrants were used to build railroads or clean laundry. It was used as an argument for US imperialism of the Philippines after the Spanish-American War concluded. It was also used as anti-Japanese sentiment to justify the shameful Japanese internment camps of the 1940s.
Remember the episode “Steven’s Dream” where Greg and Steven go to visit Korea. They made an anti-Asian joke. The joke here was that all Asians look the same. Asians have to deal with this kind of shit everyday. That we all look alike or that our cultures are interchangeable. But oh, it gets even worse than that.
Connie: Connie is Southeast Asian. But she constantly gets shunted to the side as Steven’s sidekick. First, Connie is portrayed as a nerd, and although I am a nerd, that is a hint that they would go the stereotypical route. The nerdy Asian is a stereotype used to hold Asians to perfectionistic standards and justify being shunted to the side because we’re “nerds.” In season 2, Pearl conditions her to serve Steven and put her own safety last, which is extremely unhealthy. She’s even called a “pet” by Blue Diamond, which is super racist. A brown kid should never ever be called a pet. And then I see people on Tumblr defending Blue Diamond, but if you want to avoid being racist, awful epithets like this are something to avoid completely. Also, whenever she fuses with Steven into Stevonnie, their fusion is sexualized, which is typical of Asian fetishization (something I have had to deal with unfortunately irl) When she is rightfully upset at Steven, her concerns and feelings are considered non-issues. Why? Because she’s a POC and POC don’t matter in Steven Universe.
Lars: just everything about his character was done completely wrong by the crew. Lars has always been colored orange on the show, which is pretty weird unless you contextualize it as another form of racism. If they were going for tan, then the tan they did was really shitty. Lars is implied to be Filipino based on the dish he makes right before he gets kidnapped. His dish ends up thrown in the trash out of shame, which is a big old middle finger to Asian culture and food. He’s portrayed as a jerk before he gets kidnapped. He’s the only human character to explicitly die...Apparently the only way an Asian character is good is if they die for the white hero and/or get their skin turned much, much lighter. And then, Steven leaves him stranded in space. Like hell, this kid had a very high chance of dying again, and you fucking left him?! But if it was your racist Uncle Andy, I’m sure you wouldn’t leave him behind. That is pure racism. But here’s what really shocked me to the core:
Blatant Yellowface with Jade: This one may require some historical context since many people think that it’s impossible in modern day cartoons, but I see it on a regular basis. Yellowface is defined above. Can you figure out what’s wrong here? Hint: It’s the facial features of the fusion. Neither of Jade’s components have the features of the fusion: specifically the tooth gap and the “slanted eyes.” Jade is also stereotypically associated with East Asian cultures especially China. When using such a culturally charged gemstone, you need to make sure that you’re not being racist about it. This is what the crewinverse failed to do. They gave the fusion “slanted” eyes and a tooth gap even though a quick Internet search says this screams Yellowface. This blatant example of Yellowface is not talked about a lot and I wished to draw more attention to this extremely problematic depiction. When I watched the episode that night, that shit seriously traumatized me. It made me stop watching the show for any kind of pleasure because a show that shows this much disrespect and mockery of Asians does not deserve my viewership.
Conclusion: This kind of racist motherfuckery by the show is extremely upsetting especially to kids who grew up in racist or intolerant environments. All the time, Asians are often considered foreign even if they were born and/or raised here. Asians are often fetishized, which often leads to sexual harassment and/or assault. Just because something claims to be “progressive” or “racially diverse” does not mean it is unproblematic or anti-racist. Because this allegedly progressive cartoon committed at least 4 majorly racist acts against just Asian people..
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@sammysdewysensitiveeyes - I felt bad you weren’t getting a lot of Pyro content in canon, so I wrote you some!
The next member of their team was meant to be arriving today. She was going to be a...most unusual addition.
She was human.
Pyro didn’t like it.
The entire POINT of Krakoa was to keep away from humans who would hurt them. And sure this human allegedly very much did NOT want that, it was why Xavier handpicked her to be involved, and Xavier could vet a person inside and out...but Pyro couldn’t help WORRYING. Maybe she wasn’t a conscious plant, but what if someone was using her without her knowing? How was Xavier checking for THAT? Maybe the rest of Krakoa was happy to put their fate in the hands of men like him and Magneto and Sebastian Shaw, but Pyro was of the firm opinion that the guys on top never really had the best interest of the bottom at heart.
But that didn’t mean he’d pass up a chance to roast some Verendi pigs, which was what had just been provided---the ship of their new ally had been attacked en route, big surprise, and thus the current crew of the Marauder---Sebastian, Shinobi, and Pyro---had been deployed to intervene. Shinobi kept their own boat safe while Pyro and Sebastian boarded the other---just in time to witness one of the Verendi hurling a sari-clad woman off the deck by her throat.
“Allerdyce, take care of the rest,” said Shaw, tearing his shirt and jacket off with his bear---er, bare---hands. Not taking it off, literally TEARING.
“Are you kidding?!” Pyro asked, shocked both at Shaw’s apparent intentions and at how beefed up the old bastard was under those tailored suits. Like he had eyes, he could tell the guy was huge, but JEEZUS.
“I’m not having my team fail this early,” Shaw said, “And besides--”
The rest came out mid-air as he dove into the drink,
“--you’re hardly in swimming shape.”
Secretly hoping he ‘teammate’ drowned, Pyro returned to the fray, gleefully keeping the Verendi at bay with his flames. That was the easy part. The hard part was not blowing them up in their stupid suits, or boiling them alive, or---
“ALLERDYCE!” he heard the oh-so-charming shout of his new ‘boss’ barking for him, just as the fun was over.
“What, did you--” Pyro started to ask as he hustled over, admittedly not as fast as he could have.
“Do the damn chest compressions!” Shaw cut him off. The woman, soaking wet and unconscious--or worse--was laid out on the deck.
“Why--”
“Because at my current strength I will pulverize her bones!” Shaw bellowed.
Pyro didn’t like taking orders from Shaw, but he wasn’t about to let this lady die right in front of him either if half of what he’d heard about her was true, no matter what his misgivings might be about involving her in the Marauders. So he duly obeyed with the compressions, as well as mouth to mouth just so Shaw couldn’t. Because f this woman was an ally to mutantkind she deserved better than that.
It worked. She gasped, her body jolting.
“Alright, there she is” said Shaw, “You keep her conscious, Allerdyce---someone has to steer this ship.”
With that, he departed to find the helm and radio Shinobi to let him know all was well, and knock out any remaining hostiles. Pyro glared at his back as he went, but then quickly turned his attention back to the semi-conscious woman, who was moving slightly now, her eyes glazed.
She said something unsteadily in a foreign language. Well, in a language that wasn’t English; Pyro had been a foreigner in Southeast Asia and learned it really a matter of perspective.
Speaking of that...
“That Gujarati, love?” he asked gently. He couldn’t speak it nor understand it, but he thought he recognized it. He’d never got as far as India in his travels as a journalist, but he’d encountered this language in Singapore, Indonesia, and Malayasia. Sounded a bit different from her though, maybe because she was from India directly. Or just because she was terribly waterlogged.
She mumbled something else weakly in the same tongue, putting one of her hands to her head.
“I’m sorry, I don’t speak it,” he said, truly apologetic.
The was woman silent for a moment, and her eyes closed.
Oh no. Had he lost her? God, Shaw was never going to let him hear the end of it!
Then she opened them, and said, “I apologize, I do speak English, I just...needed a moment.”
“Take two, you earned ‘em,” Pyro smiled relieved.
She began sitting up slowly, and Pyro helped her.
“I...assume you saved me?”
“Well, I helped,” he said, then amended, “Someone else go you out from the drink but I did the rest, getting you breathing again and all.”
“Thank you, so much, I really have no idea what to say,” she sounded rather awed. Oh man, he’d forgotten what it was like to be a superhero! He’d never much cared for that life in general, the idea of just DOING things for people for nothing in return, especially people who HATED you for EXISTING as a mutant, but there had been a few times in Freedom Force like this where he felt really GOOD when people were actually grateful.
“Aw it’s---it’s nothing, all in a day’s work really,” he said, puffing his chest as best he could, which was nigh-imperceptible given how skinny he was.
“You have my deepest gratitude all the same. You also have a good ear---that was indeed Parsi Gujarati.
“Ohhh!” Pyro was pleased he’d been right, “Is that why it sounded a bit off from what I heard ‘round Jakarta?”
“You do indeed have a good ear! Yes, it’s very distinct. For instance, we use much softer consonants--
They were interrupted by Shaw’s sardonic tone over the intercom,
“ I can see our guest is conscious, Mr. Allerdyce, so if you’re quite done flirting, send her to the helm for briefing before we get to the portal. At your leisure, of course.”
Pyro did not say ass aloud but it was very, very much written on his face.
***
Pyro was waking up waaay to early at Blackstone, specifically in Shinobi’s ridiculously oversized bed, Shinobi himself beside him. Pyro could tell his companion was going to be out cold for a long time yet, and probably wish he’d slept longer when he did wake up. Pyro would have preferred to just stay in bed himself, but nature called. And after a good long piss into the en suite bathroom---kind of surprised that the toilet wasn’t solid gold, although it did have more features than Shinobi’s phone---Pyro himself had yet to adjust to fancy celluars---found himself restless, and undergoing his typical post-drinking cravings for something salty. Kind of weird since wasn’t booze supposed to dehydrate you, but whatever, old man Shaw surely had some kind of super-fancy dried unicorn meat from a lost continent or whatever hanging around somewhere. He just needed to find it. But the place was a maze.
Gilded maze, he made a mental note of that for one of his novels as he wandered the huge halls, intending to use it in the internal monologue of the heroine lost in the Marquis’s opulent mansion that nonetheless held an overbearing evil in its walls as potent and palpable in the air as that in his black heart. Actually shit, some of the decor in this place would make for great---
“Wider than a highway, huh?”
Pyro had been so lost in cataloguing the fancy bric-a-brac along the way that he’d not noticed it had been joined by a flesh and blood person.
Well, maybe flesh and blood, they looked silver. Certainly all the skin he could see was, which was a lot given their short little black robe, though he in his boxers certainly wasn’t about to be scandalized.
Wait, silver skin?
“Mindmeld, right?”
“Shinobi tell you about me?” she was smirking a little.
“Yeah, something like that,” he replied. It was suddenly really hard not to say something rude, given WHAT Shinobi had told him, but reminded himself if this woman was fucking Shaw, she deserved PITY more than anything. Plus it wouldn’t do to piss off her off before she told him where she got that coffee cup in her hand.
“He didn’t tell me where to find the kitchen though.”
“Which one?”
Oh god of course there’d be more than one, Shaw probably didn’t want his food prepared in the same area as Shinobi’s guests since they were all people like Pyro.
He groaned, lowering his head and burying his long bony fingers in his dandelion puff blond curls, “Just whichever one has some eggs and espresso.”
“Come on,” she gestured lightly and turned, leading the way.
Damn tall drink of water, might have been taller than Shaw, though far less broad than he was, but more so than Pyro...admittedly, that range probably covered almost everyone on the planet.
She didn’t ask his name, so he offered his with some pride, “I’m Pyro, I’m one of the Marauders.”
“Neat.”
“‘Spect Mr. Shaw has a few things to say about me.”
She looked mildly thoughtful a moment, “Uh...no, never mentioned you. I think I’ve heard the Marauders, but not Pyro.”
“How about Mr. Allerdyce?”
“Definitely not.”
Ok, he was kind of insulted now, not by Mindmeld but he took it out on her anyway with a snippy, “Well he hasn’t mentioned you either.”
She just gave him a funny look.”
“Sorry,” he said abashed at how stupid and spiteful he sounded, “We just don’t get on too well, me and Sebastian.”
“What a surprise.”
“So you know he’s a pompous asshole.”
“Oh yeah, it’s hilarious,” she said, “Like the other day, these two like, total Eurotrash blonds come in, and he told them they were living proof of how inbreeding ruined the royal Austrian family tree or something, I don’t know, and I just told the guy he shouldn’t wear black if he’s not going to clean the semen stains off it first. The girl, her outfit was great, but nothing I could say was going to be worse than that Basic Bitch haircut.”
“So what, you two just hang around talking shit about everyone else like we’re dirt on your shoes?!” Any regret he had about being snippy was suddenly gone.
“Yeah, pretty much,” she said, her blase tone not changing.
He started to say something else but she turned her head to him and said, tone still the same,
“Look, if you’re gonna get precious, I can leave you right here. Next person to find you will probably be him, you know. He’s always up crazy early.”
It was a potent threat. Normally Pyro was not afraid at all to deal with that hirsute egomaniac, but in his current state, he was not fit for the battle of barbs.
“No, no, lead the way,” he sighed.
“Cool,” Mindmeld turned her gaze front again and added, “Sorry you’re mad I’m his dick puppet.”
If Pyro had a liquid in his mouth he would have spit it out. He must have made some kind of sound, because she asked,
“What, Shinobi not mention that?”
“He uh...he mentioned it a lot, yeah.
“Good,” she smiled at him, and turned away.
Weird.
They got to small kitchen, very normal looking. So much so that it felt almost surreally out of place.
“Drip’s over there,” Mindmeld pointed.
Okay, nice, Shaw had a proper espresso machine. No surprise, he probably kept a full roasting machine and French press and other fancy barista shit in HIS kitchen---he was obviously not using THIS one.
While he put on the drip, Mindmeld sat down and started playing idly with a phone left on table, obviously hers. Pyro was sure the bowl of Lucky Charms next to it surely wasn’t Sebastian Shaw’s.
“You uh, live here?”
“Yeah basically,” she did not look up from her phone, “Beats public housing.”
Pyro realized he hadn’t thought about how everyone on Krakoa was living; he’d been basically on a boat the whole time himself.
“What, is it bad?” he asked, imagining the crowded slums he’d seen in some of his travels, as well as the crappier apartments he’d stayed in, which was most.
“Nah, but this is better.”
“Yeah well, the rent seems high to me.”
“You just have a different landlord.”
“Hey, I’m nobody’s kept--”
The espresso shot was ready, and it going off gave him a moment to cool down again.
“Sorry, there’s nothing wrong with...with you,” he said, after taking his cup and sitting down across from her,
“I just feel bad for Shinobi, he says you two used to be..”
.
“Together? Kinda, yeah. He tell you the part where he left me to die? or before that, where I was stuck in somebody else’s body and he was still ready to put the guy through a depowering machine while I was inside him?”
“I, uh...no.”
Was there some kind of mistake? He’d thought Shinobi was harmless. He knew the guy was selfish and spoiled, but it was hard to imagine him that cold.
“Yeah, I bet not,” she said, her tone still the same,
“He doesn’t seem like he has it in him, does he?”
“Uh...no.”
“Well, even a rat will bite if it’s back is against the wall,” her eyes rose from her phone and met his intensely,
“So if you’re in deep shit, don’t count on him to pull you out.”
They went back to her phone, “He’s beautiful though so, you know, keep doing what you’re doing, I’m not judging.”
“Uh...” Pyro had no idea what to say to this,
“So is that why...”
He had thought it had been money, since anything Shinobi had was actually coming from Sebastian, but now he wondered if it was for...
“Vengeance?
Pyro nodded.
“Could you think of a BETTER way?”
Pyro admitted he could not.
“You must be pretty dedicated,” he said, still not able to get the ‘ick’ feeling quite out. It wasn’t the idea of sex for benefits his skin was crawling at, it was sex with SHAW. He supposed he could see the physical appeal if that man wasn’t so personally repulsive, but...
“I mean, I just came back to life like this month” she shrugged idly, “I’ve got nothing from before to go back to, I’ve got nothing else going on.”
“I don’t know, you look like you got it going on to me,” Pyro gave an exaggerated wink.
That made her snort-laugh. Okay, he felt they were good now. And he felt suddenly a lot warmer to her. Not from knowing she had better reasons than he thought---the reasons unsettled him actually---but because of how similar their situations were. A situation doubtless shared by many Krakoans but he hadn’t had a real chance yet to talk to many Krakoans.
He had planned to spend today fixing that actually, going and finding out if what few friends he’d had in his life before were here now. Like Dom. Wondered if Mindmeld had any, a Dom or a Mort or a Fred. Kinda doubted it, somehow.
“Hey, uh, listen,” he began.
She looked up from her phone.
“Do you wanna go...check out the island with me? I been at sea since I came back, I don’t know what’s on it, but there’s got to be SOMETHING people been doing all day for fun, right?”
She regarded him a long moment.
“Yeah,” she finally said,
“I’d like that."
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