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spencerrxids · 2 years

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memories

pairing : sparrow!ben hargreeves x fem!reader, past!umbrella!ben hargreeves x fem!reader

genre : angst, heartwarming, hurt-comfort

warning : prepare your tissue if you’re attached to umbrella!ben ig

summary : in which she found glimpse of them together through his eyes—the man that wore the face of the love of her life

wordcount : 3k

a/n : inspired by the song glimpse of us by joji. and i am aware that there are a lot of stories especially these days. If there are resemblance between this story with others then that is completely out of my control. great minds thinks alike after all. requested by @torchioethan i’ll try my best to interpreted the song to their relationship. the story is up to your interpretation by the way. on my remus lupin angst i wrote “some endings are meant to he interpreted differently.” also do you think this is ooc for sparrow!ben? cause this is what i think he’ll act like in this situation. also i put some addie larue reference in this iykyk

masterlist

Have you ever lost someone and then you just feel like you see that someone everywhere? Every place, every street, everyone, reminds you of the memories you hold dearly close to your heart no matter how hurt it is to remember for you refuse to ever forget about it. It hurts so much it does, but that’s the price you have to pay.

The first time she saw him again after going back from the 60s with the dysfunctional bunch of siblings, she thought she was dreaming. Perhaps, it’ll be easier if it were just a dream. Cause now she has to look at the face—at the body of someone who once had loved her and found nothing. A stranger with the face of the love of her life.

Same name. Same face. Different memories.

But does it all even matter now? The world is ending in hours. She could meet her Ben again, that only if he really does exist. She has never been the one to fully understand the concept of time and Five doesn’t speak in a language that she is capable of understanding.

She raised her glass of champagne in Luther’s direction as he danced with his newfound love before averting her gaze to take a look around the room. Diego and Lila being in each other's arms. Klaus being Klaus. Five who seem to be enjoying his time with the number of empty glasses on his table. And lastly, him. Sitting on the table far back from everybody else, drinking quietly as his eyes, too, roamed around the room. Even from a distance between the two, she could tell that he was judging all of them silently.

Slowly she rose and walked toward him with her glass wrapped around her fingers. Once she arrived at the spot, she gestured to the seat next to him. “May I?” Without hearing any response from him, she sat herself on the seat, putting her glass on the table. “The party is over there yet you distance yourself from the others, emo boy.”

He rolled his eyes at the nickname she gave him. “If anyone here is emo that would be your brother. All brooding, laying down alone in my room, wearing nothing but black.” He looked over at Viktor and she followed his line of gaze. “First, Viktor isn’t emo, and second, you just prove my point here.” She gestured to his situation right now. “You just described yourself.”

The look in his eyes was nothing like her Ben as he glared at her, glass tightly wrapped around his fingers. “Look, if you’re going here just to brag about your oh-so-perfect Ben. The others had took their chance every time they passed me so don’t even bother.” He leaned forwards to her—trying to somewhat looking intimidating as she looks at him, totally unfazed by it.

“No.” She leaned closer to him as he leaned back, clicking her glass with his. “That is a too sensitive topic for me to talk about. Actually, I was trying to give you some company.”

“Well, I don’t need your company.” He talked back.

She leaned her back on the seat. “Too bad. I’m already comfortable sitting here.”

“Then I’ll just go away from here.” He got up, looking at her irritatingly, clearly annoyed by her presence. Turning around he began to walked away from the girl that has been haunting his mind, but then she said something that made him stop. “You know you don’t want to, Ben. You wished to stay here. You want someone to tell you to stay. So here I am doing you a favor by saying this.”

Walking back towards her, he pointed his finger right in front of her face, a look of exasperation plastered on his face. “You stay out of my head. Don’t even try to use it on me.” He said. “You think you know me. You know nothing about me. Nothing. I don’t need your company and I most certainly don’t need your pity. I don’t need you.”

Her gaze softened at his words, his last words may hurt a part of her but it was nothing she hadn’t heard before. “I don’t need my powers to know what you’re thinking, Ben. Besides, it never works on you. Not on you. Not on any version of you, I suppose.” She looks back to her glass, avoiding his gaze before feeling him walking away from her.

***

Looking at Luther and Sloane, she offered them a large smile. “I’m happy for the both of you. Wish we could have more time to know each other, Sloane.” She said, eyes falling onto the girl that is wrapped around Luther’s arms before looking back at the sky that is torn apart every second that passed. “With the world ending, there’s nothing anyone wants more than spending time with their loved ones. I know I would do the same.” She could feel Luther’s eyes on her as she said that. “Cherish the time you have left together, okay?” That were the last words she uttered before she went back inside the building, leaving the newlywed to have their moments alone.

What she didn’t know was the fact that Ben was listening to her words as he finally succeed to get rid of Klaus’s presence. He was about to grab another drink when he heard her saying that. Spending time with their loved ones. What is left of his family are only Sloane and Reginald. One who is currently with the man of her life. The other one probably conspiring something against someone. Sloane, his sister, what left of his bunch of adoptive siblings, sure there’s a part of him that cares for her although he won’t admit it out loud. On the other side, Reginald doesn’t deserve any love from anyone in the building. An ounce of him may won’t stop trying to prove himself to the guy but he’s sure that there is no love that he holds for the old man.

Before the girl who just entered the building could fully walk passed him, he grabbed her wrist, stopping her in her tracks. She looked at him expectedly, a look of nostalgia flashed for a second. Perhaps it’s the alcohol talking, but the words come out of his mouth without permission at all. “Want a drink?”

She let her hand out of his grasp, raising one of her eyebrows. “Did Klaus really manage to talk some sense into you? Or is it the alcohol talking?” She paused before answering the real question. “The answer’s yes by the way. But not here. Let’s go somewhere else.”

***

“A windowsill?”

“A quite spacious one, yeah.” She put herself in a comfortable position before patting the space in front of her. “Come on. There’s still much room left here.” Rolling his eyes slightly, he sighed before sitting in front of her. Both of them facing each other, on the windowsill as the world out there is falling apart. Her gaze stayed on him as he sat there trying to search for a comfortable position. A nostalgic smile went onto her face. Happiness and sadness all become one as a glimpse of her Ben took over his position for some split second.

A memory from her past.

“Out of every place in this goddamn hotel, you-“ He began to complain.

“Hey, the world is falling apart. Be grateful for a few seconds.” She looked out the window. “Ben would’ve loved this.” She muttered loud enough for him to hear.

“I am Ben.”

“Well, not you. I mean Ben Ben.”

“The other Ben?”

“No. You’re the—Can you just drink it already and try to not be an asshole?” She almost forced the alcohol down his throat if it weren’t for him who already doing that as she spoke before. She looked at him before averting her attention to her glass, muttering under her breath. “Maybe this is a bad idea.”

“Not really. No.” His response caught her off guard as she wasn’t expecting him to even hear her. She pursed her lips, before taking a sip from her glass. “So you do need some company. Is this your attempt to not be alone at the end of the world? Was it because of the speech I gave earlier?” She put it down and then propped her chin on the top of her knee.

This time, he is the one that avoids her gaze, looking at the falling word around them from the window. “I thought you said it didn’t work on me.”

“Just because my powers don’t work on you. Doesn’t mean I’m an idiot who cannot connect the two dots together, emo boy.” She said.

He looks down for a few moments before looking back at her, an uncharacteristic look on his face. “Guess that—guess that makes me a special emo boy or what?” This time he didn’t complain about the nickname. Instead, he said the words that brings a smile to her face. She nodded slowly before leaning back to the window frame and with teary eyes she lets out a chuckle. “What?” He asked, raising one of his eyebrows.

“You’re making it difficult for me to not cry. You see, you’re not supposed to say that. Not with that face.” She paused, taking a deep breath trying to not let the tears out just yet. “Gosh, you don’t just look like him or sound like him. Now, you talked like him. I suppose my prayers are granted in a way. I see you again now. Breathing and alive. Just not—just not the you that I need. It hurts looking into your eyes when all I see is him and yet there is no trace of him in this falling world.”

“What was he like?” His gaze stayed on her, less tense than usual. “Truly. What was he like?” He asked once more.

“What did the others say?” She asked back.

Hesitantly, he answered her question. “He was……kind. Selfless. A tiny dark cloud on a perfect sunny day. A know-it-all. A scold. Most of them-Most of them are bad qualities.” He furrowed his eyebrows together and seems to be frustrated not being able to decipher why the other Ben was so special compared to him. “I’m the Number One. Numero Uno. He wasn’t, was he? All of those praises about him, look how he ended up 6 feet under.”

Brushing over his last comment, she nodded her head. “Well all of them are true. He was a great guy, wasn’t he? One of the best that I ever knew.” Her eyes trailed over the window. “I first met them all when I was around the age of 8 or 9. He was hiding behind Klaus or Number 4 at that moment. He was never been the one to love the public attention but somehow tried to gain mine. I suppose that makes him sweet. After his death, none of us have been the same. All of us were drowning in a sense, well we all have been drowning for a long time. But since that happened, none of us could ever reach the shore.” Her chest got heavy just from thinking of that feeling.

“Where are you now?” He inched closer towards her.

She pursed her lips before letting out a deep breath. “Just floating around, I guess? Not drowning but not completely free either.” She thought about her last interaction with Ben. “Perhaps this is it. With the world ending, I’m getting closer to my final destination.”

Looking back at him, she continued her words. “Ben. He was-He was easier to love out of everyone in that room earlier, out of all the people I’ve known in my whole life. And mind you remember this, I love all of them greatly—well not all of them,” She referred to Reginald. “We all have a fair share of memories together, mostly in our youthful days that are full of trauma created by your daddy dearest—even I had some of mine too and I’m not even a Hargreeves.” Both of them chuckled at her words.

“Very much relatable that last bit. Klaus said a similar thing earlier. About how he was easier to love.” Ben inched closer once more, perhaps this is the alcohol talking, but seeing him open up his feelings to her like this makes her pay no mind to the fact that by tomorrow he’ll probably change into hard-shell Ben again. “That doesn’t seem fair. All of you love him like that yet none can do the same for me.”

Biting back a snarky remark, she decided to say something else instead. “One thing about him is that he makes love seem to be a casual thing to feel, I mean it is, truthfully it is but not many people have the opportunity to realize that.” She wiped a single tear away. “There are a lot of things to pay for when it comes to love. To any kind of love. Meeting you is one of those. The price I have to pay for this moment is not a kind one.”

He nodded quietly before looking back directly into her eyes. “I’m not him, you know?”

She chuckled at his words. “Of course, you’re not. I’ve said that already. If yes then I won’t be just sitting in front of you right now.” I would hold you and never let go like you had wished once before your last moments. The last part remained in her mind. Glimpses of them together flowed around the two, yet she was the only one to remember. “It is a lonely thing, isn’t it? To remember when the other person doesn’t.”

“What if……the other person does?” Her head snapped back towards him as he said so. Letting out a shuddered breath, she opened her mouth to ask what he means by that but she wasn’t able to find her voice at all. Then he continued his words. “You know what sucks, you have all of these memories with your Ben and I-” He took a glance at the sky before looking back at her. “And the only recollection I have about you is the one I had in my dreams. The one that I forgot the moment that I woke up. The one I wished to remember because there’s this feeling that I can’t understand every time I am in that dream.”

“You said all you see when you look into my eyes are him. Yet when I see into yours all I see is you. No other version you. Just you you cause you’re the same one from my dreams. The dreams that left only glimpses in my memory. But then even in those dreams, you were with him, I suppose. That happy feeling was his feelings, it was never mine, to begin with. All this time I was dreaming of someone else’s memories.” Tears stream down her face as she takes in the look in his eyes, the same look he used to give her.

This Ben would never be her Ben. He was already gone from her world. Leaving nothing but the memories that remain in her heart. Nothing but the feeling that she would always feel till the moment she passed. Meeting this Ben had brought heavy feelings to her heart. Makes her yearn to see a glimpse of him in his eyes. And when she found what she was looking for, hurt was all she found. “I’m sorry, Ben.”

He smiled bitterly. “Out of everyone, I thought you hated me the most.” He said. Recalling her avoiding him at all cost during their first interactions when the Umbrella first comes back to the timeline. The look in her eyes when she first laid her gaze on him was one that he will not forget.

She looked at him with sadness in her eyes. “That is an ability that I am not capable of. I cannot afford that. I don’t think I could even if I tried. You’re too much like him. Any version of you they all-well, I’ve only met two of you but you’re much more alike than I thought you do. Your feelings. The way both of you feel, I found it beautiful.”

A comfortable silence engulfed both of them as the two leaned back to the window frame simultaneously. The world is still falling around them. Slowly fading away from reality. Most people are already gone, reuniting with their loved ones on the other side.

“You were right.” His voice makes her look back at him. He offered the palm of his hand to her, so she made up a scissor using her point and middle finger. “I won.” She said with a large smile on her face.

Ben rolled his eyes. “You’re so childish. I couldn’t see why he loved you so much.” He said, clearly lying.

She crossed her arms. “Oh, the alcohol finally worn out? I was enjoying the non-asshole you.”

“Oh shut up.” He hushed her.

“What was I right about?” She waited for his response.

He met her eyes once more. She could tell that he was hesitant about it. “With the world ending, there’s nothing anyone wants more than spending time with their loved ones. Any kind of love.” Her eyes stayed locked with him as she reached for his palm once more, a warm smile on her face.

“Any kind of love.” She replied back.

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#ben hargreeves #ben hargreeves x reader #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy x reader #ben hargreeves angst #ben hargreeves fluff #the sparrow academy #sparrow ben hargreeves x reader #sparrow ben hargreeves #ben hargreeves imagine #the umbrella academy imagine #angst #heartwarming #song inspired #glimpse of us #tua #joji #sparrow ben x reader

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lil-dump · 2 years

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#joji #glimpse of us #spotify #song

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bibli0thecary · 2 years

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Glimpse of Us

pairing (s): marc spector x reader, steven grant x reader, jake lockley x reader

summary: you love all three of them equally, not knowing only one of them truly loves you just as much

word count: 2.8k

warning (s): this is heavily inspired by glimpse of us by joji. that’s the warning

moon knight masterlist

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

Marc stared across the room at you, someone who he once thought he loved. He tried telling himself that he still loved you, but then he questioned himself if he ever did love you, or perhaps he was just seeing you as someone who could love him unconditionally.

You came when he was at the lowest point in his life, and you had given him your hand, helping him up. You loved him with all of your heart, dealing with his demons and fighting against his nightmares. And yet, Marc realised now that as much as he wanted to love you, his heart was still hers, and not yours.

He thought he was ready to move on after Layla, but he was wrong. He wished he would have realised it earlier, at least he would not be involving you in his mess of a heart, but now you were seeing him in your future, and Marc did not want to hurt you.

He forced a smile when you came and pressed a kiss on his head, something which he has grown accustomed to, but now he could not help but feel irritated at the contact. Marc clenched his jaw, hoping that you could not see how distant he was getting with you.

You loved him too much to see it.

“I have to leave for work now. But I’ll see you tonight, right?”

You asked, and Marc saw how hesitant you were. Of course, you always remembered the date night that you would have with him every week. Marc has stood you up for two weeks straight, wallowing himself in devastation as he thought you did not deserve to be treated like this.

But still, when he said he was tired and had forgotten, you just nodded and told him that it was fine, and you would start planning for the next date night to make him feel better.

You loved him too much to realise that he was tired of you.

Marc used to think he loved it when you rambled about something you were passionate about, with the gleam in your eyes and the smile which reached your eyes. He thought he adored it when you would learn to cook his favourite food, when you did not even love cooking. He used to feel like the luckiest man alive when you would listen to his past, swearing to him that you would always be there for him.

Now he was getting tired of you, but he also did not want to lose you, the only anchor to his sanity.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I don’t think I can see you tonight.”

He saw your smile dropped, and he also saw how quickly you pulled yourself together, not wanting to make him feel bad about it, when he should. Marc realised that he was the one who kept throwing lies, but you always tried to make him feel like he was the better half in the relationship. With tears in your eyes, you gave him a nod, and a half-hearted smile.

“It’s alright. If you have anything to talk about, you know you can talk to me.”

Worry was dripping from your voice, and Marc could not help but smiled at you. It was one of the reasons he did not want to tell you the truth. The truth that he had never loved you as much as you did him, and the truth that he had wished it was her who was smiling at him now instead of you.

If you leave him, he would have no one else to cared for him as much as you did. Not even Layla. He could not tell you the truth. He needed you.

“I love you, Marc.”

“I love you too."

Marc was not the only one who was bathing you in lies. Unbeknownst to you, Steven was hit with a pang of guilt every time he laid his eyes on you. Your sweet Steven, who could make the worst of your days better with just a smile of his, actually was lying through his teeth every time he said he loved you the most.

Yes, he loved you, but he never meant to love you the most. He had her in his heart, and he saw her every time you looked at him. Oh, sometimes he wished he could fight these ugly feelings, so that he would not break your heart, but he could not. He was in love with her.

While Marc was getting distant, Steven was getting closer.

He believed that he had a lot to make up to you, and he planned to do it by showing you how much he cared about you, even if the things he did were only a play pretend. You never saw him as someone who could hurt you, and he was determined to keep it that way.

He never wanted you to leave him.

Steven loved the comfort you had given him, making him feel safe and loved every time he was with you. He knew if you found out that you were not the only one in his heart, you would be dejected and you would not think twice to leave. It was the last thing he wanted to happen.

Thus Steven savoured every moment he had with you, trying his hardest not to think of her when he was with you. Marc might have come to accept that he would always think of her, but not Steven. The guilt was too heavy for him to carry, and so he spent his time pretending to love you, hoping that one day he would wake up with genuine love for you.

“Thank you for today, Steven. I had a really good time.”

He let you intertwined your fingers with his, as both of you walked home from the art gallery. You had talked about it for a few times, and Steven thought you would be over the moon if he brought you there for a date. He was right.

“I had a really good time too. But maybe because I’m with you.”

A shy smile grew on your face at his words, and Steven grinned, pride swelled in his chest when he managed to make you so happy with his presence. A tinge of guilt was still hanging above his head, but he chose to ignore it.

“I always have a good time with you, Steven.”

Your words were so sweet and genuine, that tears started to pool in his eyes. He was beginning to see how wrong this whole thing was. He kept making you think that you were the apple of his eye, and you looked at him as if he hung the moon for you when all he ever did was trying to love you.

He should not be doing this to you.

But when you held on tighter on his arm, almost putting yourself behind him when a stranger was watching you— Steven knew he had to keep you safe with him. He was going to protect you, and he could only do that if you were with him.

He knew you deserved to be with someone who truly loved you, but what if that someone hurt you? At least with him, you would not be hurt. Steven would always make sure that you had a smile on your face, and he was sure that he could never make you cry. You said so yourself, that Steven could never be the reason behind your tears.

Steven was going to show you how loved you were, and he promised himself he would never shatter your precious heart. He would do it all for you because he loved you, it was just he loved her more and you had to stay second to her in everything.

But you did not need to know that.

And so he lied, hoping that you would feel his love for you. Even if it was not enough.

“I love you.”

It was always enough for you.

“I love you too, Steven.”

Jake hated this whole ordeal. He saw how badly Marc was treating you, with his missing dates and his lame excuses. He also despised the way you looked at Steven as if he was your soulmate, when he had another woman in his head every time he tried to think of the one he loved.

Marc and Steven were being cruel and unfair to you, and Jake loathed them for taking you for granted when you were the best thing that ever happened to them. They would never find anyone who could love them as much as you did.

“Jake!”

A smile found its way on his face, when you walked in, only to realise that he was fronting. You always managed to make him feel so special and appreciated, with your soft touches and your loving words. He used to feel like he did not deserve your love, but you made sure him understand that you loved him so much.

“Did you miss me, mi sol?”

You did not even answer him, running into his opened arms and kissing him with so much love that he might fall on the floor if he was not holding you. You caressed his face gently, staring at him as if you were afraid that he might disappear into the thin air.

“I missed you so much.”

He said, knowing that you needed to hear it from him. When you buried your face in his chest, he only wrapped his arms around you tighter, resting his chin on your head. He wanted to stay that way with you forever if he could. He wanted it to be just you and him, and no one else could take you away from him.

Jake was so in love with you.

He loved you so much that it angered him every time he was reminded of Marc and Steven with their deceitful affection. He did not know how could they had somebody else to love, when you were there, loving them endlessly. You were always enough for Jake, and he never wanted it to change.

He could still remember when the weight of the world was bringing him down to his knees, you were there. Your heart broke when he got hurt, and back then he could not understand why. No one had ever cared for him before. He had chased you away, asking you to leave him alone but you stayed.

You stayed with him when he was soaking your shirt with his tears. You held him when he could not find the words to tell you what was wrong with him. You loved him when he felt like he was undeserving of such affection. With you, his life was not all about guns and blood, and finally he found a purpose.

Jake fell in love with you, and he never stopped falling.

You saw the world in rose coloured glass, and at first it baffled you so much when Jake was so harsh and mean towards everyone but you. He never smiled at anyone else, and no one had ever heard him laugh except you. A mocking grin or a bitter chuckle? Those were reserved for everyone else, but you. You only deserved to see his genuine smile and hear his hearty laughter.

“Why are you so mean to them?”

You had asked him once, and Jake just wanted to pull you close and kiss you. But you were pouting, and as much as he thought it was cute, he loved your smile more.

“I’m mean to them because they’re not you, mi corazón.”

The smile you had given him that day was the prettiest he had ever seen, and he kissed you, again and again to remind you of how special you were to him. His world revolved around you now.

He loved it when you kissed his nose, a giggle escaped your lips when he scrunched his nose. He loved it when you tickled him to wake him up, only to learn that he was not ticklish and he had tickled you back as a revenge. He loved it when you put your head on his chest, claiming that his heartbeat calmed you down.

He loved everything you did and said. He truly loved you.

Jake watched with an amused smile as you dropped your shopping bag on the counter. You could do something as simple as sorting out groceries, and he could fall in love with you all over again. Every day he found a new reason to love you even more than he already did.

“Do you need help?”

You shook your head, but still, he made his way to you. He could not stay away from you much longer or he would suffer. He helped you sorting the groceries, glancing at you once in awhile, like a fool in love he was. His eyes landed on the tubs of ice cream you had bought.

“I bought your favourite ice cream!”

You had seen him noticing the ice cream, and Jake felt warmth wrapped around his heart at the thoughtful gesture. You could see anything that reminded you of him, and you would buy it within a heartbeat. It was a way of showing your love.

But then his heart felt heavy, seeing another two tubs of ice cream which clearly were meant for Steven and Marc. All of them loved different flavours of ice cream, and you were well aware of that. You always remembered them.

His heart was aching, not from jealousy, no. It was from the way you were so in love with him. The way you were so in love with Marc, and Steven. You trusted them with your life, loving them with all of your heart, not knowing that only one of them truly reciprocate your feelings.

Jake felt like he was responsible for the lies both Marc and Steven were spluttering on you, even if he was not. He felt like he should tell you the truth because you deserved to know the truth. It would send you into a pit of agony, but at least you would not be lied to anymore.

“I think you should come with me next time, and maybe you can stop me from buying so much snacks.”

Jake watched as you laughed, trying to get all of the snacks you bought out of the shopping bag. He could only give you a soft smile, and he felt like he was going to cry when you returned his smile. You did not know how saddened he was, to think that one day you would discover the truth, and you would leave him.

He believed that if he told you the truth about Marc and Steven, you would pack your things and leave. He did not know how to stop you, because when you looked at him, you could also see Marc and Steven. You would leave him in a forlorn state, as Jake had forgotten how to live without you.

So he swallowed the lump in his throat, and buried the guilt in the back of his mind. He could not tell you the truth about Marc and Steven’s fading feelings for you.

He was too in love with you to let you go.

It might be selfish of him, but he found himself pulling you into his arms, as the thought of you leaving him was starting to make him feel sick. If you leave, Marc would lose his mind, Steven would lose his comfort, and Jake— He would lose you, the love of his life.

He would never let it happen.

So he just held you in his arms, showering your face in kisses and smiling when he heard your sweet laughter. You were in love with him, and he was in love with you. That was enough. For a moment, Jake could forget about what he knew and just focused on you, the person who owned his heart and soul.

“I love you, Jake.”

Your declaration of love always sound so sweet and nectarous for him. Those words could mean nothing to the other two men, but Jake lived for your every word. He moved his hands from your hips to your face, resting his forehead against yours, never once did he look away from your loving eyes.

You had been fed with too many fabricated words of love from Marc and Steven, and Jake was not going to add on them. He was going to make sure you know and feel how in love he was with you, and that you could plunge a knife through his chest and he would let you.

“I love you too.”

You smiled, just like how you smiled at Marc and Steven when they said those words to you. For a moment, Jake was heartsick. He knew his words meant more than theirs, but you did not know that. You were in love with all of them, and if keeping you in the dark about Marc and Steven meant that Jake could love you forever, then he would have to do it.

“I love you so much, princesa.”

#steven grant x reader #jake lockley x reader #marc spector x reader #steven grant #marc spector #jake lockley #moon knight x reader #moon knight #glimpse of us

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gingerbloof · 4 months

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Glimpse of Us (An Ascended!Astarion x Spawn Fem!Tav Ongoing Series)

summary: When Tav helps Astarion complete the Rite of Profane Ascension, she realizes that he is no longer the man she had fallen in love with. However, she does her best to make her true love happy. But will the cost of her self worth and identity prove too much to pay for the price of love? contents: 18+, blood/blood drinking, hurt/no comfort, tragedy, manipulation, abusive relationship, anxiety, panic attacks, eventual smut, major character death chapter word count: 1,019

chapter 1: The Day of the Ascension

“Ecce dominus, Has animas offero in sacrificio, Nunc volo protestatum quam pollicitus es mihi!”

Tav listened to the foreign, dark words that left Astarion’s lips as the blinding red light surrounded him. His arms thrown out and his eyes glowing a terrifying hue. She watched as all his siblings’ bodies burst apart, their blood pooling down towards him.

Her eyes were wide with bewilderment. She was so proud of him… Everything he ever wished for was coming true, and that’s all she ever wanted for her love. So why did she feel like something terrible was happening?

She briefly heard Shadowheart shout, trying to stop him. A low growl left him as he stared at her angrily. “Don’t you dare,” He said, his eyes glowing ever brighter. “I can feel their power flowing into me!”

Cazador was the last one to burst. He let out a deafening scream as he did, his blood flowing to the sigil that Astarion stood upon. Soon enough, the light dimmed down and Astarion let out a sigh of relief. “I… I can’t feel it,” He muttered breathlessly. “The hunger, it’s gone! I’m free!” The smile on his face could bring light to the darkest day. Tav had never seen him so happy, and she was happy for him.

“You did it! You really did it!” She smiled wide and ran to give Astarion a big hug. He smirked devilishly as she did, wrapping his arms around her tightly. “I did… We did.” He said, placing a soft kiss on her head. As she let go and turned around, she saw all the disapproving faces on her other companion’s faces. Shadowheart looked undeniably hurt, and Gale shook his head as he looked at her with furrowed brows. But she didn’t care what they thought. As long as her love was safe and happy, she would do anything for him.

Astarion holds his hands in front of him, that devilish smirk still pinned to his face. “This is it…” He said triumphantly. “The hopeless dream dreamt by all my kind… I am the greatest vampire to ever walk this land!” He grinned a fang filled grin. Tav smiled back at him, getting ever so lost in his happiness. “You are magnificent,” Tav said in a whisper. It was true, though he looked the same there was something very different about his stature, the way he held himself. He had more confidence than she had ever seen in anyone. He deserved to feel this way, he always had.

“I felt so very little, for so long…” He said, his voice starting to twinge with sadness. “My edges dulled over the numb years rotting in the boudoir and kennels,” It was true. For so long, too long, Astarion was only ever made to be consumed and to consume. He never had any ounce of self worth these last 200 years, and now he was finally, truly free from it.

“Now…” He began, a growl in his voice. “I can hear it at last… See it at least. How all the lowly creatures of this plane are begging to serve. How to call upon them.” These words made Tav’s heart drop. Lowly creatures? Serve? Maybe he was still chasing the adrenaline high from achieving his goal… This wasn’t Astarion at all.

“Scurrying footpads in their safe-houses, rats below our feet in their filthy holes, the crows in the night above! They will… Obey.”

Tav’s face began to grow with worry. What in the hells was Astarion talking about?

His eyes met hers for the first time since the Rite began. His eyes grew with hunger and demand. “In you, too,” He said, pointing at her. “I can tell… Your heartbeat races. You go quiet when I speak… You await my command… The world will stir with fear.”

Tav started to slowly back away from her love, her heart aching at his words. He was so different… Too different.

Her breath hitched in her throat as she spoke, slow and wary. “Star… You’re starting to scare me…” She expected him to stop this dramatic, power hungry speech when she said this. She expected him to realize what he was saying, but unfortunately he didn’t. He continued, not even batting an eye to the fact that he was striking fear into the one he loved most. “Our lives will never be the same again. Everything will be our’s. Everything. I can already hear the world whispering in sweet surrender. And I feel alive!” He chuckled darkly, closing his eyes and basking in his new found power. It was as if he was the only one in the room. He paid no mind to show concern when Tav began to shake with fear at the sight of her lover, completely reborn. He was unrecognizable.

She let out a nervous chuckle, trying her best to not overthink about what her love was saying. “I’m just happy you’re happy, Star…” She said with a sad smile on her face. “You deserve nothing more than to be free.” Astarion smiled and walked toward her, placing a searing kiss on her lips. She kissed back reluctantly, getting lost in him. He pulled her in by her waist with one hand and cupped her face gently with the other. He broke the kiss quickly, staring into her eyes hungrily. “My treasure,” He said, the new pet name surprising Tav. “You are going to be wonderfully obedient.”

He let her go and started to leave the palace, leaving Tav and his other companions behind, still acting like he was the only one who was there. The way he let her go was almost like batting a fly away. Dismissive, and crude. Tav felt her heart crack and splinter a bit at his words and the way he let her go. It felt as if he only acknowledged her when it benefited him.

As the rest of the party slowly left Cazador’s palace,Tav stood there silently, looking back at the gruesome scene behind her. There was only one thought drifting through Tav’s mind…

What have I done?

authors note: trying out a chapter by chapter series :') it's my first one and i'm so excited to see how it turns out! i have also decided to make a special playlist for this fic series! each chapter is going to have a song from the play list associated with it, and i will link it with each chapter that i post! i am planning on releasing a new chapter every friday, but if that falters i do apologize. i hope you all enjoy! reblogs and comments are much appreciated

#glimpse of us #ascended astarion x tav #ascended astarion #ongoing series #chapter 1 #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 #astarion fanfiction #hurt/no comfort #baldur’s gate astarion #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 tav #astarion x tav #bg3 astarion #Spotify

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