I get that the bookshop fire was traumatic for Crowley because he thought he lost Aziraphale.
I keep seeing people say they want Aziraphale to know what it would feel like to lose Crowley, but I'm pretty sure my eyes weren't the only ones open when this happened...
Right?
"And that was the last I was to see of Crowley for some time."
Aziraphale has lost Crowley. To Hell.
He could do nothing to stop what happened in Edinburgh, and I can't imagine that he didn't fear he'd lost Crowley for good here.
Aziraphale has experienced more heartbreak than some fans care to even acknowledge. He exists in constant fear of losing Crowley to Hell again. AGAIN.
We saw Aziraphale save Crowley from Hell in 1941 with the human magic trick he used on Furfur.
Aziraphale was the one sitting in the bathtub of holy water after the Notpocalypse, knowing this was the reason he'd been so scared to hand Crowley his own thermos of holy water in the first place.
He's lost Crowley to Hell before and he will do anything to prevent it from happening again.
That's the impact Edinburgh had on Aziraphale. This is the impact that losing Crowley had on Aziraphale.
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sometimes I see people calling Aziraphale selfish in an accusatory way, as if it's a flaw that needs to be smoothed out, as if it isn't a trait that is at once defiant and emancipating, as if his selfishness isn't mostly wielded in an empowering and kind way, as if it's categorically bad to want things for yourself, to enjoy them, to have and keep them, as if selfish isn't the most revolutionary thing an angel can be
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Just a little reminder... this is the way Aziraphale looks on the way back into the bookshop at the beginning of the Final Fifteen.
The Metatrash has just told him to "Go and tell your friend the good news," and Aziraphale is headed back to convince Crowley to return to heaven to be an angel again.
That is not the face of a happy angel.
THIS is the face of a happy angel...
Or this one...
Especially this one...
No... what you have as he returns to the bookshop after whatever was said with the Metatron is not happy. That's the look of a man shaped being desperately coming up with a plan. Who knows that danger is staring straight at them, and suddenly he's in a perilous dance that he must do perfectly in order to protect Crowley.
He doesn't want to go back to Heaven. He has to.
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[ID: A meme from Ant-Man where Scott's daughter, labeled "Good Omens fandom," holding a photo of Crowley in a silver tracksuit with short hair. She looks thrilled and exclaims, "He's so ugly! I love him!" A beneficently smiling Neil Gaiman is edited over Scott. End ID]
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